#maybe I don't idk I'd have to try it first
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Thanks for the tag! I'm sorry i took so long to answer but, at last, here are my answers!
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav color: Blue, it just feels so calm.
: ̗̀➛ how long have u been on tumblr for: I entered tumblr last year i think, so maybe i've been here for 16-ish months??
: ̗̀➛ wheres a place u always wanted to travel to: London, for all the historic stuff; Paris, for the same reason and Canada because it just seems so beautiful.
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav clothing brand(s): I believe I don't have one, but the one I wear the most is Adidas.
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav singer/band(s): Lin-MAnuel Miranda and Artic Monkeys.
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur current phone lockscreen: A collage of frev paintings and musicals playbills that my sister made for me.
: ̗̀➛ most recent/current hyperfixation: Voltaire and his book Candide, Frederick the Great, frev,t he napoleonic era and Model United Nations. Dont ask me which one is stronger, because all of them are making me insane in the good way.
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur relationship status: In a healthy relationship
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur dream job: CEO of my own company, diplomat or hsitory teacher!
: ̗̀➛ outside of tumblr, fav social app: Pinterest, it was my first social app and everything feels nice and gentle somehow
: ̗̀➛ do u have pets: Yes!
: ̗̀➛ if u do have pets, what kind/how many: I have two cats, the oldest one called Scarlett and the youngest Miko. They're my little treasures!
: ̗̀➛ do u prefer tea or coffee: TEA, I've collected lots of kinds of tea from all my travels and everytime i get the chance to try new ones, i take it.
: ̗̀➛ whats ur fav ice cream flavor: i'd say orange or strawberry.
̗̀➛ tag at least three other tumblr accounts: idk if y'all alredy done this, but here i go: @micromegazz , @historicalshroe @friedrich-2
random questions<3
ೃ⁀➷ hiii hi here’s just a random question form ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav color
: ̗̀➛ how long have u been on tumblr for
: ̗̀➛ wheres a place u always wanted to travel to
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav clothing brand(s)
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav singer/band(s)
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur current phone lockscreen
: ̗̀➛ most recent/current hyperfixation
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur relationship status
: ̗̀➛ what’s ur dream job
: ̗̀➛ outside of tumblr, fav social app
: ̗̀➛ do u have pets
: ̗̀➛ if u do have pets, what kind/how many
: ̗̀➛ do u prefer tea or coffee
: ̗̀➛ whats ur fav ice cream flavor
: ̗̀➛ tag at least three other tumblr accounts
my tags: @nyoclosmom @stuckysimp @cherikdogfood @xxqueenofdragonsxx @carpentrz
anyone else ofc feel free to fill out :) ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
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ʜɪꜱ ɴᴇᴡ ᴏʙꜱᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ | ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ!ᴠᴏx x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | Blurb/me rambling about idfk
cw: talk of non-con, hypnotism, manipulation
MDNI
__
hi ok so idk if ygs saw the agenda or not but part 2 of this is 3rd on my list of to-dos!
the projects before hand are pretty bigs ones tbh so its gonna be a bit
im making this post to sort of feed the yandere vox fans since some people were aksing ab it
so yeah
i often think about what would've happened if reader hadn't accepted vox's little financially stablility + protection deal (↓ excerpt from HNO)
"C'mon, don't try to deny how enticing life with me would be," he explains in a low voice, "I'd take care of you, you wouldn't have to worry about work or money ever again.". He circles around behind you, soft hand massaging your shoulders as he speaks into your ear, "You wouldn't have to live in that crappy apartment anymore. No more worrying about rent, food, anything. It'd all be taken care of.". You turn your head and meet his gaze, your expression unconvinced. He scowls at your expression, red rings appearing in his eye in a pattern. Shit, he's trying to hypnotize you. You have to fight it.
"You will be mine. Your role here at VoxTech has changed, alright?" he commands, the once repulsive idea now sounding strangely enticing. You close your eyes and shake your head, "No! Stop, you can't manipulate me like this.". He scoffs, tired of hearing your rejections, "Oh, be serious! Do you really wanna live out the rest of your afterlife being nothing? Face it, without me, you can't get out of the dull life you have.". As much as you wanted to yell at him, tell him he was wrong, you didn't... You hated yourself for even considering his deal. On one hand, you'd be with someone unfathomably unstable... on the other, you'd be financially stable for the first time in your life... you'd be protected and loved, something you've never had. "...Fine," you hesitantly agree."
for a little background, life for reader hasn't been easy. they live paycheck to paycheck trying to make a living for themselves but they weren't interested in being an overlord and its pretty hard to climb the latter to success in hell. they live in a shitty apartment, which is livable 'till the exterminations.
in pt 2 im gonna write a bit about the exterminations and how readers financial instability led her to this unfathomable "relationship" with Vox (maybe idfk guys jioewu4fkbj).
vox reallllyyy manipulated reader into being with him. keep in mind, he had observed her for a while non-stop, he knew that readers living situation was a sorce of insecurity in their life and knew exactly how to use that against them. most of the things that vox does are meticulously planned to get what he wants in one way or another.
if reader hadn't accepted his deal, oh he fs would've force-hypnotized them into being with him.
i had a whole scenario written out where that happened actually, but i thought it wouldve been more interesting if Vox had manipulated reader to show off the power dynamics between the two. yeah reader thinks vox is fucking crazy but what were they supposed to do? Vox could easily get them to do whatever he wants anyways, hence the non-con that would have occurred.
i got a wee bit sick to my stomach writing out that sequence and how gut-wrenching reader felt afterward so i scrapped it bc omg i wanted to barf ajwhdajd.
anywayssss
guys if u have ideas for this lil mini series please collaborate w me becauseeee idk what im doing LMAO. any ideas for part 2 are greatly appreciated and im happy to hear your guys' thoughts and theories.
ok bye
#share your thoughts :] *begs nonchalantly*#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin vox#vox x reader#hazbin x reader#reader x vox#vox the tv demon#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin alastor#hazbin smut#hazbin hotel smut#smut#x reader#x reader smut#vox smut#vox yandere#yandere vox#vox#hazbin vox smut#vox imagine#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x reader smut#guysss i love this series but as of now im like idjwdjnkqad#its a ways to go i mean im still working on help me pt 6 rn#but still#gots to plan ahead#thoughts#vox thoughts
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SHORT STORY + BONUSES (read it like when gollum says bagginses) INTERMISSION!!! Today we'll take some time to dive into the Harrow bonuses and a couple of short stories, one of which I should have read before, but such is life.
previously, in the tlt universe:
I finished harrowcita del 9
Bonus 1: BoE google doc for the soldiers
differently from the other recaps, I did these while I was reading them, not when I finished reading a whole chapter/story
so maybe the thoughts are more rambly than usual
sorry about that
ANYWAY I have to give it to the BoE folks, they've got a lot to deal with over here
they're like the audience, coming into this blind
and have to try to understand how necromancers operate on the fly
'bullet to the head but don't be too confident on that' seems to be the most useful tidbit
it's like a resident evil gameplay
BoE is in resident evil, gideon is in survivor and harrow is in a gothic pulp novel
the advice for engaging lyctors is "avoid them at all costs"
I keep spelling it BoA instead of BoE because of her
blood of adam? blood of awake me up when september ends? idk
Pronounciation guide (aka I do what I want, but apparently pronounce nonagesimus like the author)
dr reverend emperor john chose the name gaius for himself, it wasn't his real name
gaius sounds like gallo, the spanish name for gallus gallus domesticus, which in english would translate to cock and alludes to the fact that he is a dick
agustine is pronounced like in english and not like in spanish (agustín), I have been pronouncing that one right but I could have called him agustín all this time
cassiopeia was a queen but we already knew that
sixth house, ceramics, cooking, checks every one of my boxes
"CRIS-ta-bell. Rather than “crees”."
what is the difference oh my god is there a difference there
pyrrah is achilles's drag name, which is cool
valancy and cyrus were like this
I'm still gonna call the mithraeum mithrandir whatnot the emperor's bolthole, it's in the sacred text
the nonniad is in dactylic enneameter, which is a ninth version of greek epics (which are hexameters) and it's making me send my ancient greek professor from uni good vibes wherever he is
Glossary
we know more about the beasts now, or have more ordered info, the gist of it is this
so the RBs are only the nine OGs from the nine planets of dominicus that the emperor fucked up
those are the ones that can go from the river to the physical world and viceversa
the other minor beasts can only exist in the river
I still think this is all the emperor's and the lyctors's fault for starting this nonsense and killing planets for power and whatnot
so yeah, Consequences of your Actions, johnny boy
the heralds, as we had established, are kind of like borg, responding to the RBs
necromancers kinda go mad at all this as if they were looking at cthulhu
I wanted to google what the two first verses of wake's name were but the first results that pop up are tlt sources and I'm not looking into that, in case of spoilers
I've already come this far without massive spoilers, I'm not gonna risk that now
what quotes would you like to have as a name if you were one of these folks?
If I could choose three, I'd probably pick: Yo tengo el corazón como la espuma / das Leben Sie nicht vergessen hat, daß es Sie in der Hand hält / Quieto en la tierra y sentir que mis pies tienen raíz
probably un monceau d’idées et un monceau de douleurs would be another contender considered
idk how that'd be shortened though, maybe espie because espuma
house quiz was book 1, boe name assignment is book 2
The Mysterious Study of Doctor [tumblr keeps blocking my post and I'm gonna try to avoid this word to see if this is it]
ANYWAY, SIXTH HOUSE TIME
from the blurb I can tell that:
1) all this time I thought Dr S was like a funny nickname someone had given palmolive for being correspondence-horny lmao
2) is this the magnus institute???
3) "Enter Palamedes Sextus and Camilla Hect, age thirteen" we're gonna look at some baby picturessss
"Every thirteen-year-old necromancer in the Sixth House is gifted."
"I was born with four kids in my generation eligible to produce children with me. Palamedes had two"
maybe that's why he went for a correspondence gf
camilla describing that's she's the best and me just going
this thing of 'being attractive' as a category would get me demoted at the sixth, though
but working in data, I can do that
I am really liking archivist zeta
there's something that was sealed for a lot of years and now is unsealed and that's very exciting!!!!
lost media!!!!
so many stairs would be a problem for me, but there's lost media at the end of the tunnel
archivist zeta: don't touch anything
palmolive: including the bone hands?
archivist zeta: the what now
apparently the hands are younger than the time the room has been sealed
with the forms being color-coded, I'm starting to think this is less magnus institute and more office of incident assessment and response
them making references to other houses remind me that other houses socialized, seeing everything from the ninth made me feel like everyone was isolated all the time lol
add to my list of sixth house love the fact that we have murder mysteries now too
gotta love the sixth house
kinda ominous the hand bones now that we know what we know, of camilla carrying palmolive as a tamagotchi in a bone hand after harrow changed the skull
palmolive and camilla age 13 are a whole other book I would have devoured at age 13 myself btw
giving me his dark materials vibes
there was a skeleton in the air vents above the hands
camilla says she's gonna start taking measuring tape with her alongside everything else and I also can relate to going places with 25 million things, just in case
palmolive steals pens, apparently
I've used this meme for palmolive before but it still fits
the skeleton was possessed by the dr himself, he got kinda stuck on his way there after the fifth person tried to call him and got his hands into his study through skeleton shenaningans
palmolive needs to touch something in order to prove the "why" and everyone votes in favor, because he's on a roll
the cool wooden orb that was in the desk was a cool wooden puzzle, like the Karakuri Creation Group ones
man, I love those
the dr solving a puzzle after his death and coming back to prove it is me with some niche puzzles I used to have a sideblog for
don't ask me
there was paper inside and everyone got outside super fast and started congratulating each other (hello????? you did nothing????) and shaking camilla's and palmolive's hands
they don't wanna give palmolive multiple points for solving a several hundread years old mystery, which isn't fair tbh
"Don’t expire in a fit of hubris." oofffffffff
the paper had letters, which palmolive thinks are love letters
with his years of experience on pining letters
the one at the ends says "Tomorrow you will become a Lyctor and finally go where I can’t follow"
is this about cassie??? aka cassiopeia????
loved the camilla and palmolive murder mystery dinner
As Yet Unsent
this is judith's diary and this is how I imagine she looked while writing it and judging people
judith assisted the BoE with her own healing but it's kinda tough when you're also handcuffed and with your eyes covered and whatnot
judith is still in the emperor's side
I don't blame her, she hasn't met the man
yandere twin has met him and still saved him so, I can't judge judith too much
there's a corpse that isn't rotting
promising stuff
there's a commander called We Suffer
they're wearing masks and camilla is being "converted" to their cause
and she didn't even meet the man, but apparently BoE had contact with the sixth house at some point in the past
cassie?????? is this you??????? who knows
sixth house though, earning more points
also, camilla says that palmolive would want to find out what they know and, you know what, fair
I would too
camilla is also good at chess, because she's good at everything
they're playing ceiling chess like in queen's gambit
judith thinks about martita, who will soon do some awesome things next to mati nonnius
judith is also marinating the fact that everyone was fooled by the twinsies and the fact that regina george twin has no necromancy
she also complains about her being too emotional and prone to trust people
every point regina george twin makes about BoE sounds pretty solid to me tbh
the more I see, the more I think the emperor is a dick, like his name implies
judith argues with regina george twin a lot but also notices that her ears go pink when she's impassioned so...why are you noticing that judith????
how did you notice that???? *smirks knowingly*
judith has to deal with the limitations of medical care when you don't have a bunch of people who do body magic stuff
so she's dealing with recovery in a slow way and with machines plugged to her
it's hard for her because she was from the house where necros are also very able to do physical stuff
camilla is giving her strongly worded positive reinforcement
regina george twin and judith have a lot of moments that go from flirty to fighting
I can't keep using smirk reactions images so (¬‿¬)
regina george twin is also being trained to be rambo barbie and I think that suits her
"In a different time I would have found ways to apologise to Palamedes Sextus, whom I at the very least critically misjudged"
palmolive always getting the indirect compliments my goodness
he's so popular
"The princess has by turns tried to charm Camilla, play with Camilla, flirt with Camilla, and cajole Camilla. Camilla is currently unmoved"
nobody's good enough for her, regina george twin, move along
regina george twin is also being kinda aphobic towards judith's response on her being uninterested to romance camilla
I don't think judith is aro at all but that doesn't mean we have to be assholes about it, regina george twin, thank you
judith and regina george twin think BoE is wrong about necros having orgies and I'm here like
so, apparently, judith propositioned martita because she was pretty much obsessed with her
and martita said no
and she thinks camilla is holding onto tamgagotchi palmolive out of some sense of not wanting to let go of him
unaware of the fact that he's in his river loft waiting for his bones to be womanhandled by harrowcita
also, the BoE has an old ship that judith wasn't helpful with, so they don't really have much patience with her
regina george twin and judith keep flirting in that intense tlt way
I'm starting to think regina george twin has a big crush on judith and I'm here for the dynamics of that
"It said, Ugh! Then it said, Eugh!" is this mercygirl??? it sounds like mercygirl to me
and fixing someone's insides as if they were cleaning a sewing machine also sounds very mercygirl
mercygirl is also curious about this body that doesn't rot and I wanna know what it is because I want so bad for it to be gideon-related but I can't let myself hope
also, she gave them the coordinates to find harrow in the cool planet
"And Camilla said, The Warden and I know they can die like anyone else" 👀
"The corpse of the Ninth House cavalier is as pristine as when Camilla Hect convinced them to take it on board"
YESSSSSSS
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
MY HOPES WEREN'T UNWARRANTED
LET'S GOOOOOOOOO
GIDEON ARMS INTACT BABYYYYYYYY
regina george twin proposes necro-cav marriage to judith and judith says no because no relationship here can be straightforward
"Why would I ever knowingly take Coronabeth Tridentarius’s, having desired her already for twelve long, stupid, fruitless years?!"
DRAMAAAAA
AND THAT'S IT!!!! FINALLY!!! This took me a lot longer than I wanted it too but I enjoyed the stories ♥ See you in the next one!!
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Hey y'all what do you know about using yarn punch needles for rug making? I keep seeing them and I am intrigued
#the person behind the yarn#I still have a lot of yarn left from the nearly a decade where crochet was my main hobby#and maybe I want to make some rugs?#maybe I don't idk I'd have to try it first
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KIAN vs ALEXA (my two dear snipers...)
Spoiler: they end up as besties
And sorry if the P.O.V. is strange. Idk why sometimes they're written in first person and another times in third person.
Bang!
Alexa dogdes the bullet just by a hair.
Bang! Bang!
Now, what the fuck?
“Hey, to whoever is trying to kill me: I'm sure I have no debts. And if you're looking for any debts my parents might had...” She smoothly takes out her hand-gun. “I'll make sure you don't get your prize.”
Her eyes search for any strange movement. Any sound. Anything. And they land on a green fluffy ball (?) on one of the buildings.
The green fluffy ball (?) must've noticed her eyes on ‘itself’, as ‘it’ —in an abnormal velocity— changes placement.
“It's a solo sniper? Snipers don't usually attack alone. Or it's a very good sniper or there's more enemies.”
Shit. She has lost sight of ‘it’.
“Are you being a coward?” Maybe provokating whoever that might be lure ‘it’ out. “I mean, if you're a sniper that some dark organization hired to kill me, I'd feel honored to be such an important figure.” For fucks sake, I sounded just like Memori or Mimi...
It doesn't work. Bang!
Oh, they're good.
Alexa isn't one that works in dodging —unlike a particular blonde girl named Memori—, she's also a sniper. And she recognizes a good job done —thing that Memori definitely wouldn't...— Wait, don't think of her everytime??! Maybe those are things that happen when you're a competitive person and is paired with someone who enjoys remarking ‘how much better she is at everything’. But anyway, as I was saying— Bang!
“We're gonna be bad blood...” she mutters.
Her red eyes scan the place quickly, taking notes of anything she could use at her advantage and anywhere more enemies could been hiding. I should probably ask for help— Bang!
She would've been already dead if it wasn't for her quick thinking. She's been doing this practically since her birth.
I should confront them directly. Snipers usually don't have good hand-to-hand combat skills.
And with a quick and quiet running, she luckily makes it to the top of the —gladly not too tall— buildings without being shot.
She knows the green fluffy ball —that now takes the shape of a young adult probably with her same age, that wears a fancy mob-like suit that which would give off an intimidating aura if it wasn't for his puppy-like expression— allowed her to actually come closer, because he clearly isn't a normal human.
“Wow,” the puppy-looking boy speaks, “it's been a while since someone succesfully dodged my bullets.” His voice doesn't have any venom, just genuine interest. “You're good.” He smiles.
“I know I am good.” As she speaks she fires her gun. “No need to remember me.”
“If I shoot now, you cannot dodge.” The green-haired boy smiles slyly as he easily dodges the bullet. “Are you sure it's wise to keep attacking me?”
“Who said I couldn't dodge?”
“It's basic knowledge. You're so close to me that if I fire right now, you wouldn't have time to dodge.” he speaks lightly with a sing-song tone.
“Are you suggesting we chit-chat this over? Because I'm no diplomat.”
“Neither I am.” Even though his voice and overall appearance were so soft and puppy-like, the sniper in his hands right now says the contrary.
He probably isn't half bad in hand-to-hand neither. I need to be careful for any ambushes or hidden trap.
“Are you thinking about my skills right now, Alexia?”
“It's Alexa.” Oh no, this man is giving me déjà vu...
“I think Alexia sounds cuter, don't you think so?”
... Definitely déjà vu.
“Hehe, but I think Alexia suits you better, don't you think so, Ale~xia?”
Ugh, get out of my head, you fucking egocentric bitch—
“My name doesn't have anything to do with being ‘cute’. And how do you know my name?”
“Your name?” He widens his eyes —so fucking adorable—. “I thought you'd know me!”
Nope. This guy's on drugs.
“I'm Kian. K-I-A-N!” If he had a tail, it'd be swinging happily right now. “And you're Alexa. A-L-E-X-A.”
Why is he spelling the names again...?
“I asked you a question.”
“Memori is your Boss or something like that, right?”
Of course.
“You know her?”
The glimpse of sadness in his eyes disappears as quick as it appeared. “Yes.”
“What's she to you?”
“...” He seems to be struggling to find the correct words. “We- She was a close friend.”
... Is this some sort of pattern? Thinking of all the similarities...
Being unclear as fuck, acting as if everyone should know what you're talking about, being in your own world, switching personalities as a light switch, loud, child-like, asking how your name's spelled... There's definitely some patterns.
“Are you implying she hired you to kill me?”
“I'm not,” he whispers to himself. “It was just because.”
“Just because? Nobody hired you, no ‘a higher power demanded me to’? Nothing?”
He nods with apologetic eyes. “Memori seems to like you very much.”
Hell yeah she does and doesn't even try to hide it.
“You're asking why Alexa has to go with me?” She asks with a nonchalant expression. “Obviously because she's better than you all.” Her words are often impossible to understand if they're seriously or not. But it wasn't the first time that she admited a clear favoritism with Alexa.
“But Alexia, what do you man with a high—”
“Dude, did she reject you or what? You look so hopeless always talking 'bout her.”
“No?? I don't see it.”
“Ya sure?”
“Sure. She's like my sister.”
“... Really?”
“Really. She's like a black cat.”
What. Definitely no.
“Uh-huh,” I continue. “Why did you think it's a good idea to attack me?”
“Well, since Mori bullies you—”
“She doesn't.” Mori.
“—she must like you very much! And I wanted to see what it is that she likes about you so much!”
“You're nuts.”
“I'm not a nut- I'm not an aliment!”
“I know you're a real human.” He recoils just a bit when I call him a real human. “I meant you're crazy.”
“Ohh!” He has fangs. “That's what you meant!”
“Are you four or what?”
“I'm the same age as you!”
“Really? I don't think so. And how the fuck do you—”
“Ah, sorry for this,” he says as he lowers his sniper.
“No worries.” A total weirdo after another weirdo. “And where ya from? Your work, I mean. You look too fancy to be a normal sniper. Don't tell me you're a blue-blooded rich?”
“Ah, that is... Hm.”
“Very helpful,” irony fills my words. “So ya aren't a rich?”
“Ah, you could say... Kind of rich. My work pays me well.”
“Are riches becoming more and more common by the time?”
“People are getting better and better at finding suitable jobs!” He exclaims with optimism.
“I don't think Memori's your friend.”
“She's an angel! Who wouldn't be her friend?”
“An angel, you say?” She asks skeptically.
“She may be nicknamed sinner now, but I mean it as her personality—”
“She's nicknamed sinner now?! Since when?”
“Ah, between a circle of rumours,” he half-lies smoothly. “Nothing big, really. Some people simply resent her for her former job.”
“That chick was probably in some illegal trade. Tell me otherwise,” she rolls her eyes in exasperation.
“You don't know where she used to work?”
“At least me, no.” She looks at the sky. “She's a real mistery among us. Classic rich person behaviour. How delightful.”
“You don't have a very limited vocabulary!” He seems oddly excited about it. “I thought you wouldn't know words like ‘delightful’.”
“It's not a bad thing.”
“Why the hell wouldn't I.” No, this man right here? He's also a total fucker.
“Uh-huh.” Of course it is a compliment. Of course. Very obvious. Totally expected.
He suddenly grabs my hand and shakes it with both of his hands with a bright smile, but quickly stops after what seems like remembering etiquette. As if there is an etiquette for shaking hands. There isn't, right? ... Not that I would know, anyway.
A little late, no? “Alexa. Pleasure's mine. Is that what I'm supposed to reply?” I ask genuinelly this being the first decent handshake I've ever had.
“Excuse me,” he apologies with a smile as he lowers up his right-hand and looks at me expectanly.
??? What does he wants me to do?
“Uhm... What do I do?”
“Ah, nothing,” he dismisses.
Oh, a headshake.
I offer my left-hand to him. He stares at my hand, as if it was strange. Fuck, do headshakes have some etiquette I'm not aware of? “Am I doing something wrong?”
He focuses his attention back to my eyes as he accepts my headshake also with his left-hand. “It's not a big deal. Usually, handshakes are with the right-hands.”
So it does have an etiquette.
“Oh. I'm left-handed. I didn't know.”
“Don't worry your pretty little head about it.” He replies as he shakes his hand four times, completely different from how his behavior was a minute ago. “My name is Kian. A pleasure to meet you.”
“Mhm, maybe a little bit more formal, but yes,” he chuckles and nods. “You are cute. Like a mouse.”
Like a mouse. That's new.
“And you're like a dog.” It's an implied insult.
“Why, yes! I get told that often.”
“Figures.” I stare at this green-haired man with disbelief at his obliviousness.
“Welp, I need to go now.” He adds, “Boss expects me...”
Boss? So he does work for someone, huh?
“Bye-bye, Alexia! It was nice to meet you!” He waves his hands with excitement.
“... Nice to meet ya too, I guess.”
And with that, he jumps swiftly away.
Huh, what a strange man.
Randomly pick 2 OCs. Make them fight. How will it go?
#I didn't check for any errors#Super random#Funny how in japanese Mori means forest but in latin Mori means to die (wasn't on purpose)#memori662#memori662orig.#662ocAlexa#662ocKian
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when it's been so long since you've read a fic that you forget about it and you find it in the search tags and start reading it again
and it's great, if a little familiar, but you've read a lot of these sorts of fics bc you like this tag a lot, so you assume it's nothing
but then the deja vu starts adding up and you start to wonder
and then moments before the great big Plot Twist Reveal happens you're suddenly like ah hell this is the bloody sundial fic again isn't it
smh this has to be the fourth time yet
#not that I don't love that fic bc I do#but also this is quite funny to me#have I made this post already? I don't remember#mdzs fic#time travel fix it#I love that tag#iceberg tags under see all#bc sm of the fandoms I'm in have such messed-up backstories that it works#it's funny. like for the media that doesn't have as dark backstories ttfi doesn't really make sense (although time loop might!!)#mdzs and st go perfectly with it as does hp (ew)#pjo not as much bc the big bad stuff (for the most part) happens much further down the line in canon than in the first few chapters#like. b99 and idk descendants of the sun or haikyuu wouldn't really work#ik it doesn't HAVE TO but I've also noticed this trend where ttfi is more common in fandoms where it's somehow plausible by the magic syste#haikyuu just does not have that magic system lol (for example)#whereas jjk? maybe. aot? probably not physically/magically but it's got such a messy timeline that at this point why not honestly#tbf the second time I read that fic I did get legitimately surprised by the plot twist#pjo#percy jackson#stranger things#atla? maybe. like it would be weird but still sorta plausible using spirit shenanigans#hp and mdzs by way of their 'hard' magic system side - wards/arrays and the like#pjo by the gods ig?? so kinda like atla with the deus ex machina and not exactly soft nor hard side of their magic systems#cinematic universes? depends but for the marvel ones it's plausible for studio ghibli idek man for kpop music videos sometimes.#not tagging hp lol#terfs dni#like literally if you've made it this far down my notes already if you're a TERF please just fuck off or block me or smth#anyway anyone know about monsta x?#they have time travel literally baked into their concept so I bet there's time travel fix it tropes over in that fandom#I don't really touch rpf these days so idk#if you have any good recs you can argue for I'd be willing to try them ig?
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brought to you by me hosting a friend for two days who grew up in the same cultural region, and tbh will not be invited again.
#night two of spontaneously showering for over an hour with no notice just as i indicated i wanted to go to bed...#pls consider. i have to shit lol#i also have meds#i'd honestly make fuckin due if i'd had the indicators to like. idk say oh i need to grab my meds first#but also idk how to put it other than this is one of. so many behaviors that are making me just about reconsider the friendship as a whole#within 2 days#i lowkey wanna cry because this has gone so badly overall#and i feel like i'm in a position where it's both unfair for me to not communicate this distress (because maybe we could work it out)#but also if i do communicate. this individual was having and is now coming out of a hypomanic episode where they kept talking about#self harm related habits and displaying self hatred for the mildest of critiques#and they've never communicated what to do in these situations previously so idk their boundaries and honestly don't trust them to establish#boundaries that they would benefit from because they have a large history of that#so uh. yeah in conclusion i am counting the hours til they leave and i can more easily try to figure out how the fuck to handle this
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Oh.
#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them#and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual#and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it#i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha#it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing#that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before#my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up#is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop#and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it#maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but#man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc#idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later#probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void#anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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should I get a ticket to a book signing on thursday.
#or is that a bad idea.#i feel like i need to get out and do something before i. yes.#but idk if I'm well enough :/#maybeeeee if i can get my dad to drive me so i don't have to get the train but that is a big maybe#it's like a whole evening thing but the vibes sound fairly lowkey so i don't think it would be too much#idk I've been struggling a lot with not being able to do things lately so. idk!#and I'd be going on my own which i don't mind but it is always that bit harder not having someone there in case i need help#i liked the author's first book well enough and there will probably be many gay people there so it might be nice to try and meet some peopl#idk!! i know i need to do things and have things to look forward to because otherwise. the demons. but it's so hard to balance when my body#is not on the same page#I've decided i will go and see lisa frankenstein when it's out and maybe also drive away dolls#so if nothing else i have my few times a year cinema trip to look forward to so maybe that will make me not want to kill myself for a bit.#sorry for vent essay i have been very much struggling to feel human recently. microdosing interacting with people.#being online is still making my brain feel strange so. idk what's up with that.
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I am going through a mild reading slump and of course my brain is trying to convince me to reread the lord of the rings
#the things is i have read lotr exactly 10 years ago and have not reread it since#i think i listened to the audiobook of the fellowship a few years ago but it's not the same things#and i really REALLY want to do a reread#but i have a block because what if i don't pick it up at the right time and what if i don't enjoy it as much as the first time?#my plan was maybe reading it in the summer when i won't have uni things to balance and i'll be able to really dive into the book#but in the past couple of days my brain has been telling me i should reread it now#and i know for a fact it's the wrong moment#i am way to busy and have to read so much for uni already#but on the other hand i am a mood reader so maybe in the summer i won't be in the mood to reread lotr#uuuuuuugh i truly feel what my old italian teacher used to say when she was like:#i kinda wish i'd break a leg so i could reread lotr unbothered#man she was so right#i think i might attempt reading a couple of pages and see what my heart tells me to do#i would also try to attempt reading it in the original english this time instead of the translated version but idk if my brain can do that#in conclusion i am going through a book crisis and i am doubting my brain thanks for coming to my tedtalk#cris speaks#the---hermit
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you know what? i'm gonna say it. i miss being seventeen. not for the "glory days," bc they weren't, by a country mile lol. if i had glory days i'd say they were in 2020. but i miss the electricity, the constant undercurrent of euphoria and deep plunging black. i miss the fight i had. i was literally known for being scrappy. i was self-destructive and coping poorly, but goddamn if i didn't burn bright and long. it took me until my twenties to finally start to fizzle out. does the candle with its wax melted down to the base of its glass cage miss when the wick was lit?
#she bork#it's not even that i'm tired of fighting necessarily. clearly. if i was i wouldn't miss it. i think i miss being ABLE to fight. now i just#don't feel like i have the grit i used to have. i'm not sure if it's bc i'm healthier mentally or bc my energy has just dissipated over time#but i miss taking hit after hit (metaphorically) and wiping the blood from my lip and standing again and raising my fists. i don't do that#anymore. and again even if it's bc i'm healthier i'm not sure it's a good thing that that stubbornness and grit is gone. is it automatically#better to seek the path of least resistance? i'm not sure.#maybe it's learned helplessness? idk i mean logically one person can only suffer so much before they learn it's better not to fight or that#fighting isn't even always possible. but i've always struggled. i've always gone head-first into these things and white-knuckled it and made#it through even if only w self-violence (which was often remarked upon as self-discipline). now i feel like i just flounder and flop and cry#like a fish w a wailing voice on the dock as it loses its breath. i really do think it's partially bc i'm sane now but somewhere inside me#that crazy flame still dances. and ik that bc from time to time i still feel the heat against the sides of the glass. maybe it's a lack of#confidence. maybe it's that ik now that it's impossible to hate yourself into a different better shape (both physically and mentally). but#it was so exciting to try. if i'm miserable regardless i'd at least rather be having fun.#furthermore it could also be that my chaos is no longer external. a lot of what i have going on is internal/physical and it's a daily thing.#fighting daily is a lot harder than fighting through my shitty relationship or that one season of volleyball that destroyed me mentally lol#(ik that sounds ridiculous but it was pretty fucking bad). i'm no longer fighting against other people or external circumstances that i feel#a need to prove myself against. i'm fighting my own body which has proven a tougher match than anticipated. bc how can i? i live here. i#cannot will my body to function. i can swim against the currents of my illness and often do. but that's less glamorous than punching walls#and running for miles like i used to. i want to break a hand. i want to run three miles in half an hour. i want to doll myself up for a#dance and spend the whole night driving w the windows down strung out on a cocktail of cortisol and dopamine. i want to live in the eye of#the hurricane again. and i never will. and it's good but i think it's made me soft.
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buttered noodles 💫💛🍜
#just me hi#it's just a Lot of butter cuz i don't like having pasta sauce w/ parmesan (something wrong w/ that idk hfbshv) so :3#i was thinking of putting garlic in it but idk if that would be good... do i wanna take the risk.. i mean you can't really go wrong with#garlic... Hmmmm....#//oh yea i am definitely gonna switch up my main blog theme ehe :3#and maybe my rb blog's theme too cuz i liked it when the colours were matching lol#maaaybe to blue.. i don't remember if i've ever had a blue theme so this might be the first blue theme ehe :3#i just like to have an Image for the banner so i need to figure out what i'd like that to be.. hmnmnmnmnm!#//alright you know what i'm gonna put garlic in this one second lolll#okay i put black pepper and garlic in it's not too bad :)#prolly shoulda put more salt in too cuz i'm craving it. salt <3#/having spaghetti cuz the meal is actually supposed to be eggs and i cannot have that lol#some people are upset about this! like my dad. and my brother who is making the food lmfsh#i didn't know food was being made i am innocent in this !! probably anyway#like nobody is more displeased by this than me dude. i wish people could actually like. describe what some foods taste like so that i could#actually see why they like them#but you ask and they say 'what are you talking about? it's just egg' but 'Just Egg' SUCKS dude what is Your Egg like. pretty please kfshvjg#and grapefruit? grapefuit sucks but my mom likes it and i can't understand Why#and i wanna ask what it's actually like and why she likes it but she only says 'idk it's good with salt' what does that MEAN#how does the taste change?? how would you describe it before that ? clearly it was good enough before the salt or you wouldn't have tried i#with that!! i just wanna know !!!!!#dark chocolate ?? Please ??? do you like the taste of restrained anger and resentment cuz that's what it tastes like lmao ???#Coffee ??????? i can't understand coffee without a bajillion tons of sugar (+ other things) masking the taste how do you. Deal#not even deal- Enjoy !! how are you enjoying it !!! Why !!!! and why does everyone think i'm trying to convince them it's bad when i ask#LMAO--#like i'm not trying to say it's bad i'm trying to figure out how it's good please. Please Man lmfvshjfvhgfks#okay so clearly i have thoughts on all that LMfvshgjhfs#bitter stuff sucks and i barely like sour stuff Sometimes. food is all around good though so lol 👍#//alr i'm gonna. [starts scooching away]#i am almost out of tags (rip unlimited tags i miss you so bad hfsvh <3) edit: i ran out LMFVHS ; TOODLES !!
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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
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random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently
#mar.txt#it's weird being aro(?) and yet also longing for a relationship. maybe its just bc almost all of my friends are in one#maybe it's bc of how easily jealous i get#maybe its the fact that i'm constantly being reminded that i am nobody's most important person. there's always someone more important.#maybe it's just the all-consuming,gaping hole of loneliness within me#idk.#i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it#feels impossible for me to feel romantic attraction#a few of my ocs (shara and the alatreon) are how i think i'd describe myself; aro,but willing to be in a relationship provided the other#person isn't bothered by them being aro,bc they have their own equivalent to romantic feelings#i know i'll never have one though. for all my confidence and whatnot i still very much am insecure about my own loveability. because the#only thing life has shown me is that i very much am not loveable. all the way back in first grade ppl were already using me instead of#actually caring#'dating' me to make someone else jealous. so they could have a drug buddie. a fuck buddie. so they could try to manipulate me into things#because i was a young teenager desperate for validation and to feel like i mattered and belonged and they were nearly adults who knew they#could exploit that. i'm surprised i never had anything happen to me beyond being pressured into trying chew tobacco (awful and disgusting)#and doing it every time i was around my 'boyfriend' and his friends#the only two genuine relationships i had didn't last either; one lost feelings after three years and the other just sorta stopped talking to#me and iirc eventually picked up a boyfriend that was actually local instead of long distance#i am not worthy of love. i will never be loved in the way that my friends are. hell i won't ever even find a qpp(?). and that makes me sad.#to know i will always be alone. that i'm destined to die alone. but it is what it is i guess. i just wish it didn't bother me so much.#i wish i could be content in my loneliness and not be jealous of everyone around me. i wish i could accept that i will never be anybody's#most important person. that the only person i can or will ever be the most important to is myself. self love,yeah? ha.#maybe 2024 will have something in store for me. god i hope it does. but i doubt it will. more of my friends will get into relationships,#those already in them will stay in them and/or take a step forward in their relationship. and i will remain alone. just as i always have.#anyways. sorry vent over i'm just. ugh. upset today. emotions are stupid and i want a refund on them. i did not ask to be saddled with the#burden of feeling such intense,suffocating displacement and loneliness. i did not ask to feel these negative emotions so strongly.#i just want to be someone's most important person. i just want to matter.
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Quick round-up of a few small projects; Scarf. It is a scarf. Used the remaining silk/wool yarn I had left from when our yarn store closed, the yarn was really thin so I ended up holding it double and yeah, got a really cute, comfy Halloween-y scarf. Very happy to have it. I do regret making the stripes as thick as I did, like they look cute but between that and me making the scarf a smidge too wide, I ended up having to cut the scarf shorter than I would've liked because I didn't have enough yarn to make it any longer- at least not with evenly sized stripes. Like had they been thinner I could've repeated the pattern a little longer, but oh well, it is what it is. With the scrap yarn I just made this ugly little neck warmer, and yeah, it'll keep my neck warm indoors.
And then, using the scrap yarns from the bleeding heart sweater, made a very Crimbus-y beanie. Sidenote but I did actually pre-wash the fucking red yarn before knitting this, because I did not want a repeat of the dye bleeding incident. But yeah, it's a beanie. Again, held the yarn double this time and I'm glad I did because oh, it made the beanie so soft. It is so comfy y'all, I can not wait for December so I can wear it. I still have more of that red yarn left though. No clue what I'm doing with it.
#Moon posting#Yarncraft Diary#Yarnblr#Knitblr#Knitting#Why yes you ARE getting two crafting posts in one day today#Look if my neck gets even a little cold I will end up with a sore throat in an instant. But nothing I own has a high collar/turtleneck#And I don't want to wear scarfs indoors that's just inconvenient for me#So the little neckwarmer actually works fine for me#Hilariously I did actually run out of the white Malabrigo when doing the rim of the beanie#And I was just gonna leave it the way it was but once I was done and looked at it... I just needed a white pompom SO BADLY#The hat looked so sad and miserable without one#So while I was getting the plushie stuffing I did end up getting one ball of like some Drops wool/alpaca yarn (it was on discount too)#Just so I'd have something to make the pompom with because. Yeah I had no white yarn in my stash beyond some thin cotton yarns#Which do not work for making pompoms. (Trust me I tried and ended up wasting yarn) (Used it for plushie stuffing but still)#The natural white of the Drops matches the Malabrigo perfectly though so you literally wouldn't be able to tell it's a different yarn#Like maybe if you looked closely you might notice the rim is knit double (so the actual yarn there is thinner) but that's it#IDK I know what I want my next actual knitting project to be but my scrap yarns are haunting me and I wanna use them up first...#And it is nice to do smaller projects like these from time to time#But also yeah I'm getting tired of trying to figure out What The Fuck To Make with small quantities of yarn
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