#may you rock and take the stage till you die

[nicoscheer]

Happy Birthday to our beloved Turtle Miles Kane

Keep on rocking and smiling like only you do

[eggonthemoon]

Alien Stage Round 6 Character Analysis and Lyrics Breakdown

Okay so obviously spoilers, don't click Keep Reading if you haven't watched Round 6.

God fuck it's so fucking beautiful, where do I start?

I don't even know what is going on with those rapid shots of what I assume is some form of experiment that Till was involved in. I have no clue what the goal was or if it succeeded but somehow (for no real reason other than that one image of Luka standing behind Till ominously) I feel that Luka is involved with it.

Was this an attempt by Heperu's (Luka's guardian) rival to make a human capable of going up against Luka? Till being the youngest and Luka being the oldest also means that Till's guardian could have caught on to what Heperu was planning to do with Luka and then start experimenting on humans shortly after and it would still somewhat line up with the timeline.

But I'm getting into conspiracy territory, back to suffering!!

Allow me, to the tips of your fingers

Allow me, to the ends of your feet

Dissolve me in your gaze

I don't want to let you go

Oh this hurts. Seeing him look so defeated and exhausted, you can tell that even though to the public it's not certain whether Mizi died or not it doesn't matter to him. Because she's still gone away from his world, where he is unable to reach her. He wants to dissolve and die but he also doesn't want to let her go if there is even a sliver of hope that she lives.

Please, leave me scars

Please, hurt me so that

Not a single drop of me remains

Let me drown in you

The footage that plays to these lyrics really show how defeated he is. He refuses to sing, his passion for the art completely dead and buried. And (his guardian I assume) when someone shoves the fact that Mizi is gone in his face he lashes out and punches one of the aliens near him.

Until these falling stars

Are buried in the blur of time

However his heart isn't entirely in it and is quickly apprehended.

He is beyond exhausted and doesn't even protest or put up a fight while (the same alien he punched btw) another alien runs their fingers through his hair.

On your icy lips

Read my soul

Yes, my soul

He hopes that even if Mizi is dead that her spirit watches over him, seeing his soul and by extension, Him, for all that he is. Every thought and breath until he falls asleep is for Mizi.

But didn't we already know this is how he'd be like? Time for something juicier~

Even if your cold words

Carve scars beneath my eyes

May they linger on your tongue

You can break me apart

God this is heart shattering. Even if Till doesn't care for him, even if Till throws hurtful words his way, Ivan will still lie awake at night, cherishing what sliver of attention he is given. It doesn't matter if Till hates him, because as long as he is on Till's mind Ivan is happy. He is entirely in Till's hands, capable of being build up or torn down depending on how much (or how little) he is perceived by him.

Notice my pain

And mend me right now

To quiet my fears

I'll drown in you

He wants so deeply to be seen by Till, noticed. Till who doesn't let anything hold him down and always picks himself back up became a pillar of hope and strength to Ivan. It didn't matter how or in what context he gets to be seen, so he went out of his way to provoke him just to get Till to look at him even for a moment.

This was mentioned a while back on VIVINOS Patreon but the entire incident where Mizi and Till got attacked by that hound monster was orchestrated by him. I feel like there is two possible reasons for this depending on when in the timeline this takes place.

Either he wanted to test Till's resolve in hopes of being proven wrong about his courage (after all your hopes can't be dashed on the rocks, if you never had hopes to begin with) only for his obsession to end up growing even stronger than before.

Or he tried to let Till get roughed up enough that he'd be transferred (solitary confinement? emergency room?) somewhere else away from the others at Anakt, so they could escape together.

But we all know how that turned out.

Either way what Ivan wants isn't freedom, he's long since given up on that. There's no point in his freedom if the person that inspired him to yearn for it isn't by his side. He needs Till there, his very presence to reassure him that no matter what Till won't falter. But he failed to take account of the one thing that weakens Till's resolve.

Mizi.

Mizi is to Till what Till is to Ivan. And so without Mizi in his world Till crumbles. Since Till will only go where Mizi is and Mizi already gave away her heart to someone else, it's impossible for Ivan to be free while keeping Till in his world.

And so he follows him, resigning himself to a life without freedom.

Sick of these nights to come

To be engulfed in silence

But the distance between them is killing him, and each and every day they come closer to their inevitable doom.

It doesn't matter if they believe the lie the aliens told them, that if they die singing they will be blessed. Because what is the point in that? How can going somewhere far away from the people they love be a blessing?

In your gaze where I am seen

Consume me

Yes, me

His desires mirror Till's. He wants his soul to be seen by him, recognized for his undying love for him. He wants Till to see that he can give him all that Till yearns for in Mizi and more.

To this everlasting melody

Face to face we dance

And yet Till still refuses to look Ivan in the eyes.

Things get a little unclear but since they aren't shown singing here and there's no flashback to accompany the lyrics, we can assume that at this moment Till most likely gave up on singing.

With our story

Lost in forever's embrace

I'm not sure if Ivan intended this from the start or if it's a decision he made then and there but one thing is certain. If Till stops singing then that would mean he forfeits, he'll lose. Till has never once given up. Even when he went back for Mizi that night, he never intended to leave her in the first place. But now without her he crumbles.

And Ivan can't let that happen, not like this.

Moral grey area aside, this scene is so deeply moving to me

And I don't say that in a romantic context, absolutely not. This is something much deeper than just love. This is the culmination of everything they've been through, all those moments lead up to this.

Because this isn't a kiss.

This is Ivan throwing his life away for Till.

Till was going to loose, the only thing that could overturn that is if his opponent attacks him. The kiss was to distract Till and keep him from catching up to what Ivan was planning.

Just look at the contrast between their first and second kiss. As soon as the score board shows Till is in the lead, he gives him a gentle peck on the lips. The contrast is stark and full of meaning. This was the genuine kiss, hidden behind a smokescreen of aggressive bravado created from the previous one.

And it worked. Till was completely convinced that Ivan's intentions was to kill him, and he was fully intent on letting him.

I know a lot of people doubted his intentions. Because he didn't let go of Till's neck the minute he saw their scores, a lot of people assume that this was Ivan trying to drag Till down with him.

But the minute he coughed up blood what does he do?

He smiles.

and let's Till go.

He's only human. He might know logically that Till has won the match. But emotionally he refuses to let go until he is certain.

Until he knows for a fact that he is the one bleeding and dying he'll keep up his charade.

And then.

And only then.

Till truly sees Ivan.

As he dissolves in his gaze.

[nottoonedin]

An ALNST Theory/Hypothesis/Over-analysis/Interpretation of events

AKA: Me slowly descending into madness over an animated web series-

(Btw this is mostly just for fun, don't take it too seriously lol)

(TW: Death, Blood)

Long post warning:

I assume we've all seen the newest posts that Vivinos has put out on their YT community tab (or wherever you get your ALNST updates), and the one that everyone is obviously talking about is the post titled <CURE>

And.. yeah, of course, just goes to show that Round 6 is just around the corner (I am screaming internally) and the attention is going to be focused on Ivan and Till, and how their story will progress (or end, depending on if someone's gonna die, which seems likely, unfortunately).

But the post that really caught my attention.. was this fucking post:

When I first saw it, in my mind I thought ''Haha, how cute and goofy! This is exactly how I saw their dynamic!'' and went on with my day.

But after thinking about it for a while, my brain decided to think up this wonderfully awful thought:

''What if Hyuna (unintentionally) had a hand in what happened to Hyun-woo?''

Now, at first, this sounds fucking crazy. The general consensus (from what I've seen) is that Luka killed Hyun-woo. But I do see some parallels between this post and the incident in Round 5 which might help explain what actually happened, but first:

Why I don't think Luka would have been able to kill Hyun-woo:

Luka is DEFINETELY not known for his muscles or strength, I mean look at him:

He's like a sickly Victorian child, not to mention his asthma, chronic migraines and heart disease. I don't believe Hyun-woo has any health problems (not that I know of anyways), so I feel Luka would have a hard time trying to push Hyun-woo over so he'd fall onto a rock. To put it simply, Hyun-woo could most likely beat Luka in a fight, unless someone interfered in some way...👀

Luka's ''fighting'' tactic:

With the parallels between The Trio doodle and Round 5, I've noticed there's a pattern with how Luka gets rids of his ''opponents'', be it on stage or outside of it (*cough* Hyun-woo *cough cough*).

He initiates the attack, it being mentally or physically depending on his opponent. He's subtle about it however, the only one being aware of his antagonism being the one he's antagonising, preserving his perfect, can-do-no-wrong persona.

2. Obviously, the opponent retaliates. But, of course, Luka expects this, it's what he wants, after all. He knows he'll be seen as the victim by onlookers. How could anyone hurt such a precious, weak, defenseless little guy??🥺🥺He doesn't even bother to fight back at all (may be too weak to).

3. A stronger force, seeing Luka in ''distress'', steps in and takes care of the attacker (the opponent), avenging Luka, who they see as the victim. He isn't the type to do it himself, letting others do his dirty work.

Now, let's apply this to the flashback in the All-In MV..

What may have happened to Hyun-woo:

Luka may have said something to Hyun-woo that deeply distressed/angered him, or perhaps Hyun-woo knew about what Luka did to Hyuna.

2. Angry, Hyun-woo attacks Luka.

(I'd also like to note that in this frame, Luka looks more like he's just had someone pulled off him, rather than he's just attacked and pushed someone over onto a rock.)

3. Hyuna finds Hyun-woo attacking Luka and, naturally seeing Luka as the victim, tries to break them apart (which would have been hard if Hyun-woo was super pissed). There's a struggle, and.. well...

Hyuna accidentally kills Hyun-woo, which doesn't bother Luka. Just means his opponent has been eliminated. As far as he's concerned, Luka wins.

Final Thoughts:

Does this theory leave a lot of questions? 100%. For example, if this theory was true, why would Hyuna be so angry at Luka? Does she later find out about his manipulative nature? How? On the stage perhaps? I find this unlikely, however, since I don't believe Hyuna ever went on stage and escaped beforehand, due to a post Vivinos made a while back:

Can this theory be easily debunked? Oh, ABSOLUTELY (I hope it is debunked in canon, to be honest lol). But it does give ideas for some angsty fanfics, I believe hehehe-

For real though, Alien Stage is all up to interpretation. Some questions may never be answered. It leaves room for different ideas, which is one thing I love about the series. <3

Thank you for reading my batshit little ramble/theory!! Hope ya'll have an awesome day/night!

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

6th March >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Wednesday, Third Week of Lent - Proper Readings 

(see also The Samaritan Woman)

(Liturgical Colour: Violet: B (2))

First Reading Deuteronomy 4:1,5-9 Keep these laws and observe them.

Moses said to the people: ‘Now, Israel, take notice of the laws and customs that I teach you today, and observe them, that you may have life and may enter and take possession of the land that the Lord the God of your fathers is giving you.

‘See, as the Lord my God has commanded me, I teach you the laws and customs that you are to observe in the land you are to enter and make your own. Keep them, observe them, and they will demonstrate to the peoples your wisdom and understanding. When they come to know of all these laws they will exclaim, “No other people is as wise and prudent as this great nation.” And indeed, what great nation is there that has its gods so near as the Lord our God is to us whenever we call to him? And what great nation is there that has laws and customs to match this whole Law that I put before you today? ‘But take care what you do and be on your guard. Do not forget the things your eyes have seen, nor let them slip from your heart all the days of your life; rather, tell them to your children and to your children’s children.’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 147:12-13,15-16,19-20

R/ O praise the Lord, Jerusalem!

O praise the Lord, Jerusalem! Zion, praise your God! He has strengthened the bars of your gates he has blessed the children within you.

R/ O praise the Lord, Jerusalem!

He sends out his word to the earth and swiftly runs his command. He showers down snow white as wool, he scatters hoar-frost like ashes.

R/ O praise the Lord, Jerusalem!

He makes his word known to Jacob, to Israel his laws and decrees. He has not dealt thus with other nations; he has not taught them his decrees.

R/ O praise the Lord, Jerusalem!

Gospel Acclamation John 8:12

Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God! I am the light of the world, says the Lord; anyone who follows me will have the light of life. Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God!

Or: cf. John 6:63,68

Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God! Your words are spirit, Lord, and they are life; you have the message of eternal life. Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God!

Gospel Matthew 5:17-19 I have not come to abolish the Law and the Prophets but to complete them.

Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Do not imagine that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets. I have come not to abolish but to complete them. I tell you solemnly, till heaven and earth disappear, not one dot, not one little stroke, shall disappear from the Law until its purpose is achieved. Therefore, the man who infringes even one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be considered the least in the kingdom of heaven; but the man who keeps them and teaches them will be considered great in the kingdom of heaven.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

---------------------------

Wednesday, Third Week of Lent - The Samaritan Woman 

(Liturgical Colour: Violet: B (2))

First Reading Exodus 17:1-7 Strike the rock, and water will flow from it.

The whole community of the sons of Israel moved from their camp in the desert of Zin at the Lord’s command, to travel the further stages; and they pitched camp at Rephidim where there was no water for the people to drink. So they grumbled against Moses. ‘Give us water to drink’ they said. Moses answered them. ‘Why do you grumble against me? Why do you put the Lord to the test?’ But tormented by thirst, the people complained against Moses. ‘Why did you bring us out of Egypt?’ they said. ‘Was it so that I should die of thirst, my children too, and my cattle?’ Moses appealed to the Lord.

‘How am I to deal with this people?’ he said. ‘A little more and they will stone me!’ The Lord said to Moses, ‘Take with you some of the elders of Israel and move on to the forefront of the people; take in your hand the staff with which you struck the river, and go. I shall be standing before you there on the rock, at Horeb. You must strike the rock, and water will flow from it for the people to drink.’ This is what Moses did, in the sight of the elders of Israel. The place was named Massah and Meribah because of the grumbling of the sons of Israel and because they put the Lord to the test by saying, ‘Is the Lord with us, or not?’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 94(95):1-2,6-9

R/ O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’

Come, ring out our joy to the Lord; hail the rock who saves us. Let us come before him, giving thanks, with songs let us hail the Lord.

R/ O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’

Come in; let us bow and bend low; let us kneel before the God who made us: for he is our God and we the people who belong to his pasture, the flock that is led by his hand.

R/ O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’

O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts as at Meribah, as on that day at Massah in the desert when your fathers put me to the test; when they tried me, though they saw my work.’

R/ O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’

Gospel Acclamation John 8:12

Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God! I am the light of the world, says the Lord; anyone who follows me will have the light of life. Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God!

Or: cf. John 6:63,68

Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God! Your words are spirit, Lord, and they are life; you have the message of eternal life. Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God!

Gospel John 4:5-42 A spring of water welling up to eternal life.

Jesus came to the Samaritan town called Sychar, near the land that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well is there and Jesus, tired by the journey, sat straight down by the well. It was about the sixth hour. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, ‘Give me a drink.’ His disciples had gone into the town to buy food. The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘What? You are a Jew and you ask me, a Samaritan, for a drink?’ – Jews, in fact, do not associate with Samaritans. Jesus replied:

‘If you only knew what God is offering and who it is that is saying to you: Give me a drink, you would have been the one to ask, and he would have given you living water.’

‘You have no bucket, sir,’ she answered ‘and the well is deep: how could you get this living water? Are you a greater man than our father Jacob who gave us this well and drank from it himself with his sons and his cattle?’ Jesus replied:

‘Whoever drinks this water will get thirsty again; but anyone who drinks the water that I shall give will never be thirsty again: the water that I shall give will turn into a spring inside him, welling up to eternal life.’

‘Sir,’ said the woman ‘give me some of that water, so that I may never get thirsty and never have to come here again to draw water.’ ‘Go and call your husband’ said Jesus to her ‘and come back here.’ The woman answered, ‘I have no husband.’ He said to her, ‘You are right to say, “I have no husband”; for although you have had five, the one you have now is not your husband. You spoke the truth there.’ ‘I see you are a prophet, sir’ said the woman. ‘Our fathers worshipped on this mountain, while you say that Jerusalem is the place where one ought to worship.’ Jesus said:

‘Believe me, woman, the hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know: for salvation comes from the Jews. But the hour will come – in fact it is here already – when true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth: that is the kind of worshipper the Father wants. God is spirit, and those who worship must worship in spirit and truth.’

The woman said to him, ‘I know that Messiah – that is, Christ – is coming; and when he comes he will tell us everything.’ ‘I who am speaking to you,’ said Jesus ‘I am he.’ At this point his disciples returned, and were surprised to find him speaking to a woman, though none of them asked, ‘What do you want from her?’ or, ‘Why are you talking to her?’ The woman put down her water jar and hurried back to the town to tell the people. ‘Come and see a man who has told me everything I ever did; I wonder if he is the Christ?’ This brought people out of the town and they started walking towards him. Meanwhile, the disciples were urging him, ‘Rabbi, do have something to eat; but he said, ‘I have food to eat that you do not know about.’ So the disciples asked one another, ‘Has someone been bringing him food?’ But Jesus said:

‘My food is to do the will of the one who sent me, and to complete his work. Have you not got a saying: Four months and then the harvest? Well, I tell you: Look around you, look at the fields; already they are white, ready for harvest! Already the reaper is being paid his wages, already he is bringing in the grain for eternal life, and thus sower and reaper rejoice together. For here the proverb holds good: one sows, another reaps; I sent you to reap a harvest you had not worked for. Others worked for it; and you have come into the rewards of their trouble.’

Many Samaritans of that town had believed in him on the strength of the woman’s testimony when she said, ‘He told me all I have ever done’, so, when the Samaritans came up to him, they begged him to stay with them. He stayed for two days, and when he spoke to them many more came to believe; and they said to the woman, ‘Now we no longer believe because of what you told us; we have heard him ourselves and we know that he really is the saviour of the world.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[modx-reborn]

The first prefromance

Something I spoke of in a discord I'm in.

So here have Simpbur and CamGirl/Camboy reader doing a show with them after working his way into their close circle.

(Yes this plays off of the two cam asks I have gotten recently)

Also please know that real cam girls/boys aren't actually going to do this, this is purely fictional in its makeup.

SMUT UNDERCUT! MINOR DNI!

"That's it j-just like that, all the way like you should be taking me. S-shouldn't be here fucking my hand w-when I could be fucking you, such a pretty thing so good for me, but such a slut t-to let others watch you like this..."

That was the last thing he had said to you on your last private call, since then he had wormed his way further and further into your shows and even into a bit of your personal life, or well your on-screen personal life, as he had the phone number you kept aside for work, from your days as a more in-person performer.

And boy did he ever make use of the number, sending you little messages and photos whenever the thought struck him, peppering you in small doses of affection and savouring the way you called him sometimes when you skipped a stream, offering him to listen to you get off instead letting him hear when you spoke about the toy he had sent you. Sometimes even getting him to call and ask for you to listen to him, getting you to mutter things to him and work him that little bit closer to his end.

But now what you're calling for may just break your dear simp, having had all the fun you could with the silicon imitation he had made for you, that now your mind was thinking about how he would feel rather than the toy. 'S-shouldn't be here fucking my hand w-when I could be fucking you' his own words playing on repeat in your head after you close down your last stream, sending little thank yous to the top donators before moving to the call ping that was coming through.

It was him. Perfect.

"Ahh, there he is, my pretty top boy Simpbur!"

"That was quite the s-show, but what did you mean by you're w-working on something big with someone else?"

"Well, that's good that you asked my dear. You are always so good for me, sending those little messages and all those donations, I was thinking you may want to help me with the next stream..."

"Y-you want me to-"

"Mmhmm, didn't you say yourself that it should be you fucking me, or was it that you should be here in me rather than fucking your hand?"

It's easy to finish your sentence with a tilt of your head, tapping one of your fingers against your bottom lip as if you were actually trying to remember when truly you were just teasing the curly-haired boy staring at you wide-eyed through your screen.

"I. Yes. I-I mean I would love to if you want me to..."

With his agreement the rest of the call was spent hashing out the rough details and leaving him open to suggest what he wanted to do for the show, leaving him with a wink and a reminder to 'Keep it simple' before you logged out and started to pack up and clean down the space you had been working in.

There would be a few weeks between your last show and the next one, having all the platforms you used teasing the next stream with images of the silicone toy being front and centre in all the images, a tease for all your viewers but a reminder for your dear simpbur that he would be more real in your world in a few days. Even when he made up his mind on what he wanted it was still so very hard for him to not scroll back through the recorded calls and streams, take himself in hand and work through the building need.

But he managed to keep his hands off, having worked himself up even before the actual day of the stream.

When you call him, he picks up on the first ring as always chipper and shaky in the same breath as he says your stage name.

"There's my good boy! You ready for tomorrow? Your first time in the red light after all, just want to make sure you're still down and want to do this."

"I-I am. I'm good and... and ready for tomorrow."

With a laugh and a quick goodbye, you hang up, heading off to the regular place you booked for longer shows needing to set up lights and the cams now, otherwise you would likely not have time when your co-star finally made his way to you. And how right you were, the moment the time for the stream rolled around he was there at your door, hands fiddling with the bottom of his button-up, mask and beanie on as if you hadn't seen his face a million times before.

Welcoming him in is easy, but getting him to calm down just enough to have him read back what the two of you had planned took slightly longer. You had him keep his mask and beanie on, using them as a way to keep him from having his real-world life ruined from doing this one little show with you, the suggestion also seems to put some of his nerves to rest.

When the cameras do start rolling, the stream on a start-up timer for switching on to a live stage, your chat on a large screen hanging over your laptop that was actually hosting the show, messages flying past as people are lured in at the promise of a different kind of show and the tagline mentioning a guest star. When the cam starts showing the room you're seated on Simpburs lap, thighs spread wide over his with his hands holding you close while you do your intro, his masked face pressed into your shoulder as he mutters something under his breath.

Your form rocking back into him once you're were done, slipping a hand under his beanie and tangling in his curls, making him groan just loud enough that one of the many mics would be able to hear him, laughing and cooing at him as you reach down with your free hand to wrap around his cock, slowly running your fingers across the heated flesh.

"You'll be good for me won't you? So pretty and brave being here on cam with me, getting a treat that so many would die for..."

His voice falters when you shift your grip, tugging on his hair just as you start to actually move your hand to jerk him off, slipping your hand out of his hair you reach for a little remote, making the camera zoom in as you close your thighs around him, burying his cock between your thighs. Cooing at him once again as his hands are braced on your hips, using this to bounce you on him, head tilted back and panting as he fucks your thighs.

The exposed skin of his neck calling for you to leave a few marks across, a little gift for him to remember this day by, or well more than the stream recording of course, pink and purple marks blooming across his neck as he changes the pace moving you more and more until you can feel him throbbing between your thighs.

"Oh, sweet thing you're cumming already? Are my thighs that good? Can't even hold on for the main performance, or are you that eager for more that you would cum now and still keep going? Hmm, what is it, pretty boy?"

The only answer you receive is a deep groan and the warm feeling of his cum seeping from between your thighs, spreading your legs to show off the mess to your cam, letting everyone who was watching see the mess that he had made. Reading your chat gave you a wonderful idea, they wanted more and you wanted to see just how far you could push your dear simp till he broke and lived up to his wants to actually fuck you.

Flicking across the remote once again the camera angle changes, showing a side view of the bed perfect for what you were planning to do, the angle giving your audience the best show as you move off his lap and kneel on the floor. Holding his cock with one hand as you lean forward to lick a stripe up his shaft, cleaning his mess off with your mouth, taking him fully once most of him was clean looking up at him through your lashes once you have taken him into your throat.

Watching how his eyes go wide, hands shaking when they reach for your head, his eyes flicking up to the chat screen reading over some of the words telling him to fuck your face, to make you cry and drool all over him, and other wanting to be where he was, whining over text that they should have been the one there with you. The majority calling for him to do something, building a need to move in him, slowly he is moving his hips, still sensitive after having cum not moments before but the feeling of your mouth wrapped around him was spurring him on.

Before long his hips are moving properly, holding your head steady as he fucks your mouth watching how you look up at him every time he pushes into your throat, tears building and falling with how harsh some of his thrusts are, but the image just makes him groan. Throwing his head back once again as he works himself back up, trying to hold out and enjoy this feeling for a little while longer, only you had other plans pulling away panting as you take in the way he looks.

Flicking your hands cross the remote once again to switch cameras for the final time settling on one that would let your audience watch how good your dear simp was for you, let them watch how full he makes you feel and how pretty he looks when he cums, when he finally gets what he wanted.

"You ready pretty boy, ready to finally get what you want? What you told me about on all your calls? Take you all the way like I should be taking you?"

"P-please, fuck just please le-let me fuck you..."

In his rush to reach for you, his beanie had come off, brown curls falling out in a mess that you tried to cover again only to have your hands smacked away in favour of him pulling you up onto the bed with him. Throwing your thighs over his own reaching for the bottle of lube you had left waiting to be used, coating his fingers before pressing them into you working you open with one hand as the other is pressed to your shoulder keeping you from moving away from his probing fingers.

"G-God look at you, do-don't even need to work my way up to two fingers, already so r-ready for them... Ready for me."

To quick are his fingers gone replaced by the head of his cock, easing his way in as he moans, hands grabbing your hips to steady himself as he finally gets to feel what it's like to be buried in you just like his toy replica had been so many times before. There is little time between him being fully hilted in you and him starting to move, his hands moving from your hips to under your thighs ignoring the sticky cum still staining them, pushing them back and using the new angle to fuck into you as hard as he liked.

Wanting to have you drooling into the mattress and calling his name, making you remember him and him alone so that if you ever did another show like this, it would be his number you called. That if he did this good enough, fucked you good enough that it wouldn't be on camera the next time he got to fuck you, it would be at your home in your bed, him calling your real name not this stage name you work under.

He comes back from his thoughts when your voice cuts through them, high pitched and whining for him to let you cum, for him to keep going to let you have what you had given him earlier, to feel him cum in you this time.

"F-fuck you w-want me to cum in you? P-paint your inside with me..."

The chat if either of you could see it was still it was running a mile a minute, calling for him to do it, to cum and let them see how it will drip out of you. Others call for him to deny you, keep you begging for your release while he took his own, but neither of you could see those words and so your ends draw near.

"T-that's it, god feels so. So good around me, j-just like I thought you would..."

The rough pace he set becomes almost brutal when he cums, there will be bruises in the shape of his hands come the next few days but that thought paired with the sight of your dear simp losing himself in you was what tipped you over.

The end of the stream was much like the beginning, albeit with a mess of brown curls keeping the camera from seeing how the mask had been pulled down and soft kisses were being placed along your shoulders, the moment you had given the final thanks and turned off all the gear the hands that were wrapped around your waist were pulling you back onto the bed, keeping you as close as possible.

After all the pressure of performing for people falls away, it's easy to give comfort to the man curled around you, wanting him to be comfortable with what you had just done. Once again tangling your hands in his hair only this time to give comfort rather than tease, cooing soft praise until the grip around you eases slightly.

"You did so well, such a good boy for me..."

[liveforevermorningglory]

Sometimes I wonder how time changes so much.

What we saw, thought and felt in the 90s is different than what people see now. It’s the difference in being there at the time and not being there and looking back it’s different in our eyes. What was once tough, crazy, chaos, fun and bad boy antics is now cute, sweet and soft. Back then no one used the word sweet in the same sentence when talking about Liam we never saw a cute, sweet, soft and gentle guy we saw a bad boy, a drunk crazy fun guy, some one sexy. Liam was Liam simple he’d swear, he’d fight, he’d drink yes if you were nice to him and he liked you, you’d have great fun and he’d treat you well but if you pissed him off then you better run. He wasn’t nasty and was a nice guy but the way people talk about him now is so opposite his image, it just doesn’t fit. I love him, I love oasis and have done since 94, I watched it all happen, the stories in the press, the gigs, the brothers fights, everything it was a great time. I don’t understand where or why people now see things so differently it seems those who missed the actual thing and are just looking back are looking through rose tinted glasses like how can you look at (for eg) fights involving a cricket bat, smashing up a hotel room, getting drunk and arrested on a ferry, swearing every two words, interviews turning into arguments, general drunken fights and disorder and loads more and come out with sweet, gentle, cute, pat him on the head and call him by the cutie name Liamie (which if I’m honest if anyone said that to his face his reaction would probably be wtf, fuck off) what is it that makes us see things so differently? Are people just trying to pretend? Where does it come from? Have us 90s people missed something? Is it trying to pretend that anything that happened which doesn’t fit today’s accepted standards didn’t happen? Oasis were working class guys who liked a drink, a smoke, the odd fight and any dope or coke around. They wanted to be rock stars, they wanted that image, the whole throw a tv out the window, drive a car into a pool type of thing, to be the center of attention, they loved it why deny them that, why take it away. If you love them then you should love everything about them it was part of the fun. They flew high, they lived the life, they crashed, they burned it was a rollercoaster and it was one hell of a ride. Turning them into sweet, cute and cuddly boys just spoils the fun, the madness of it all. Yes they’ve grown up, yes they may be different now but now they are not oasis they are Liam Gallagher and Noel Gallagher’s high flying birds it’s different, they are different they’ve learned from things but don’t take away what oasis were it happened and it happened that way it can’t be changed. I’m in no way saying they were bad guys cos they weren’t they were great guys they just kicked ya ass if they didn’t like you, trashed the cameras of the stupid press if they crossed a line, they were young lads who suddenly had lots of money free access to as much drink, drugs and girls as they wanted so they had fun. Now their older, more settled, aware of things so they are different (but still not cute and cuddly) there will always be flashes of the old Liam when he has a rant and of course he still swears only new it’s every other sentence not every other word, they don’t use the word c**t as much as they used to (which was a lot) I just don’t understand how people can change so much retrospectively, the 90s were the 90s. Of course the Gallagher brothers fights have always been the same that will never change it’s one constant that no one can deny and will probably be the same till the day they die which is really sad cos it pretty much means we will never get a oasis reunion (unless we have two separate stages one for Noel one for Liam, different entrances so they don’t go anywhere near each other or maybe two separate gigs and just have a video screen at each so you can still watch and see the other one lol 😂 I should pitch that idea 😝)

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Oakland Coliseum Arena in Oakland, CA, USA - September 7, 1982 (Part-1)

(x)

The band are in great form tonight, full of vitality and passion. Only the intro of Rock It is performed from now onward. When the vocal is expected to re-enter after the rhythm section joins in, the band jump into the first verse of the fast We Will Rock You. John Deacon's bass solo after the second chorus is aggressive, and overall the band are clearly happy to be playing the longer version of the song again - although they do have a bit of trouble getting out of the middle section together, but they recover well. Freddie offers a great version of Play The Game. After the song, he has a word with the enthusiastic audience. "So here we are, back again in Oakland after a long time. Has everybody been keeping okay since we've been away?" Naturally everyone says "yeah", and Freddie replies, "Bullshit!" He continues, "Anyway, we have a lot of new songs for you since we were here last, and this next one is a song for all the girls here tonight, you know what I mean? The real girls. If you've got tits or if you haven't got tits it don't matter." The girls quickly stop cheering as Freddie is just trying too hard when he actually doesn't have to. He attempts to recover, "You just don't understand English. It doesn't matter. This is a Roger Taylor composition [the mention of Roger's name gets the girls screaming again] entitled Calling All Girls." Just before the first chorus of the song, Freddie adlibs, "I've got a message for you babe!" After the second chorus, following "take a message of love for all to hear," he adds to the energy with a few spontaneous words: "Have you got it? Can you hear it? Can you feel it?" Tonight is the first known performance of the Hot Space rocker Put Out The Fire, segueing from the vocal improv of Now I'm Here (Freddie doesn't have the lyrics perfected yet, which suggests it hasn't been performed too many times - fan club magazines from the period say the song was performed as a standalone piece earlier in the tour). After the second chorus, the band seamlessly jump into Dragon Attack. The combination of these three songs seems to recall the medley idea that had been dropped in 1981. After Now I'm Here, Freddie challenges the audience to one of his usual vocal duels. For the first time, he is heard singing "Dee do de de", something that would become part of the lyrics of "Living On My Own" off his first solo album in 1985. Shortly thereafter, after an "alright" that's held for a few seconds, he shouts, "You can do it!" in encouragement, after which he says, "Not bad! It's amazing what you will do if you're pushed." He really takes a liking to this audience. During the next song, Save Me, instead of singing the line "I love you 'til I die," he speaks the words "I love ya", and during the three quiet beats leading into the first chorus, he quickly and poignantly adds, "don't forget it!" Freddie once again dedicates Fat Bottomed Girls to "people who like fucking a lot." In the second verse of Crazy Little Thing Called Love, he modifies a lyric to say "she knows how to fuck and roll." One can draw their own conclusions as to where Freddie Mercury's mind was at on this tour. He turns in a very passionate version of Bohemian Rhapsody (despite not being in full voice by the end of the show), where everything seems to come home to him. Only he knew what the song really meant, but plenty have suggested that the proverbial man being killed in the first verse as told to his mother is his former self that had not yet come to terms with his sexuality. A clash of worlds in 1982, if that's the case. Matt Granz (also with a story from San Francisco '77) fondly shares his memories of this show here:

“This photo is from Queen's last Bay area show ever with Freddie Mercury. With the new direction that they took with the album "The Game" Brian May stated that Queen had "gained the world, but lost America". I think that after they played a Los Angeles gig or two after this particular show that they never did come back to the US. That is truly sad since they were one of the most charismatic of all rock groups to ever play on a stage. This concert was no exception! This photo was taken during Brian's echo solo. The three lights backlighting Brian belonged to one of two manned light pods that followed him around the stage. It was a spectacular effect!

The friend I went to the concert with (who's name I can't even begin to recall) took his SLR 35mm and I took a pocket fixed focus... after seeing me lament over the bad quality of my images he took mercy on me and sold me this memory as an 8x10 B&W Glossy that I kept secured in a folder... and just recently rediscovered and decided to digitize these many years later. My own pics from the concert all came out underexposed... drat! His SLR had some great lenses and he had his own darkroom. He also had great access to many good spots to shoot from.

By the way… remember the days when you didn't need a press badge to bring a camera to a concert? What happened??? Lawyers, I'll tell ya... Lawyers.

The story behind the Flying V being utilized was that at the very onset of his Echo solo, Brian busted a string on the "Red Special". He waked backstage and then shortly reappeared with this guitar. The sound was quite different. After the solo was done fifteen minutes later, he took back his own guitar and proceeded to use it for the rest of the show. It was pretty unusual to see him playing this and (besides the Tele he plays on Crazy Little Thing Called Love for the songs' first solo) have not seen him play another electric besides his main axe that he and his father made.

I was pretty poor at the time, but I liked this photo enough to buy it because of the before mentioned spectacular lighting and the fact that Brian is playing a Flying V.

Though I was not a fan of The Game, this concert was superb! I came to see Brian (being a guitarist myself) and was amazed at how distracted I was by the rest of the band. They were flawless that night and the floor seats I snuck into... 20 rows from the stage... provided the perfect viewing experience. The light show was also the best I had ever seen as well, in that it didn't distract from the music or musicians but rather pulsated perfectly with the beats and saturated the stage with great color combinations.

Freddie, Brian, Roger & John all had the whole auditorium held by the throat from the very start of the show till the last fading notes of "God Save the Queen". Sheer Excellence!” Most of the photos were taken by Sean Trend. A few of the pictures show Brian with the Gibson Flying V, as he had played in East Rutherford last month. But this time he begins his solo with the Flying V, as confirmed by someone who attended the show. Brian, in disbelief, later commented on this: http://www.brianmay.com

“Well, I'm shocked. I definitely would have sworn that I never played a solo live with a Flying V. I played around with them, but mainly at home, except for one video appearance for "Princes of the Universe" in which I'm obviously not really playing!!!

Cheers Bri”

(x)

Part-2

[xo-cuteplosion-xo]

How about a musician reader x character fic? Maybe a singer who performs in a cafe, or a classical musician who plays in an orchestra, or who plays in a rock band? I dunno I have a lot of ideas in my mind but I'm just too lazy to write them :D What do you think?

So here's the baseline you gave me - a musician reader fic x character. Here's what I decided to fill in for this lovely fic- a fluffy bsd collage Au where the reader is majoring in music and has the side job of a stage performer. Then, because they would match well, so I decided to go with a Fyodor x reader. Hope this is alright!

Words- 1728 ~

Hearts Composition | fyodor x musician reader | (collage Au)

Music thudded against the walls, muffled only by the thick layers that hid backstage from the audience. The aroma of heavily worn perfume surrounded people in pleasant bliss. Waitresses and waiters swayed with heavy plates rested along arms and in hands. Carrying much-wanted foods and booze to awaiting customers. The collection of accents muted under the heavy beats of taps and clicks from the metal of the dancer's shoes. Picking up a smaller wooden, finely carved, and rather expensive model of a violin, stood yourself. With a smile, your hands trailed the curves and strings of the delicate instrument. With all the work you had to do for university you had truly didn’t have time to be doing some minimum wage job. Though you didn’t care much, if you could play something, it would be fine. You performed here every once in a blue moon. You weren't one of the performers, but they would grace you with the intermission on busy nights. Much like these nights, when the crowd was full and the people rowdy and in need of constant entertainment. You could soothe those shouts and demands of perverted drunk men; Soothe the cries of broken women and rich spoiled children.

Stepping onto the wooden stage as the lights dim, allowing you the bare minimum of the peeping moonlight to find the microphone located at the center. Inhaling as your anxiety turned into bliss, you waited. As the colored light flew on, you rested your chin on the soft velvet. Holding up the bow, you set it to the strings. With a final inhale, your eyes fluttered shut as you played a classical piece; one constructed for an upcoming project that was due for your music composition class. You had nearly all the string instruments you could play finished; all but the cello. With every strum of your instrument, the crowd fell silent, enjoying the break from all the heavy excitement. Even the children's chatter soothed down, so your instrument could echo off the thin walls of the pub.

Sipping nothing but a cup of tea with a small side of biscuits, a male leaned in his seat. Sitting with a pristine, perfect posture, he listened to the soft sound. The way his violet eyes slowly lidded, and his hair fell back against his face, lit his features in a urethral, almost divine light. His mind working to recognize the piece. As an up-and-coming musician, he had several classics memorized. He could join in by ear, or even write out the full pieces without needing to see the original sheet music. This piece wasn’t something he recognized, could it be an original piece?

If you were to open your eyes as you neared the end of the first piece, you would notice his gaze rested on you. Eyes open halfway with hidden interest, and yet, the stare was attractive. The blank look that hid everything beneath a mask laid strewn across his features. As you finished and stood up, surrounded by applause, he watched your every stride. It was funny, he thought he could almost recognize you.

~

With shaking hands, your fingers typed within a group chat of other college students you had met and become close to. “I’m so nervous. I have to hand in that piece today. I pulled an all-nighter trying to decide on the cello part, but nothing sounded right, so now I might not get a full mark.” You could hear the whine through the text. When replies of good luck came to you, except for two replies, you chuckled. One read “could always just die before handing it in.” Another wrote, “I've got the wine ready.” laughing to yourself as you walked into the classroom and set down the folder in the bin. Glancing through the room, you took a seat with your head down. It was unusual for you to arrive early to class, but your anxiety with this project was slowly picking at you to just get there and hand it in. With twenty minutes till class started, you decided to pull out your laptop and listen to the recording from last week.

Taking out your notebook, you started jotting notes about small things to improve, and things you hated about your performances. You didn’t notice somebody else enter the classroom rather early. Carrying his bag, he set it down at one of the desks before the sound of a violin entered his ears. Sitting down he listened to the melody you had played several nights before. As the piece finished, his eyes traveled to the bin. Now understanding where you had gotten the piece from, he sighed. “You’re not half bad, you played a little flat, but it sounds okay. Becoming a flustered disaster, you froze glancing over to him. This wasn’t the first time you had noticed him in class, he was hard to miss. His completely perfect grades, perfect posture, and looks made him stand out. Not only that, but he had strong ideals and his debate skills could sway anybody. Though, you knew it wasn’t really skill, more manipulation. To add to everything his Russian accent stuck out with every word he spoke. “Could you play that again?” hesitating at first you restarted the piece.

He took out a blank piece of sheet music and started scribbling down notes. As if memorizing the piece, he tapped his fingers before bringing his thumb to his mouth and chewing on it. Tapping his foot as the piece came to an end, he glanced at the time before walking over to one of the room's cellos. His face resembled discontent as he looked at it. Looking to where he sat, you realized he didn’t have his with him. You presumed it had to do with the instrument being heavy and somewhat large. Though for somebody of his height, it may not be that big of a deal. Perhaps he didn’t want to lug it around with him, considering he had all of those other books for classes. “So uh, why did you want to hear it again?” you mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck as you watched him strum a few strings. He was checking the accuracy and pitch of the notes. With a contempt sigh, he shrugged.

“Your writing is considerably well done. I wished to try something that is all.” He did not shed a glance as he sat down and ran the bow across the strings. The sound was heaven within your ears, but to him, it was nothing but ordinary. The sound of a well-made expensive Russian model, the model he owned, was much better than this school-provided variant. As the melody played, you recognized it as your piece. Smiling slightly as your eyes sparkled. You bolted from your seat to grab your folder; the music that was due in 10 minutes.

Looking over the cello part you had constructed, you changed the key signature to hold a few new sharps and took away some of the flats. Boldly, you handed the male the sheet music and pointed as if asking "Is this the piece you were playing?" Setting the cello aside, he ran a finger over the bars with a nod. “So that’s what I was missing! You're a god at memorizing and creating. Now I'm excited to see what you concocted for the presentation.” You smiled lightly before placing the folder in the bin. “Oh, I never got your name. I’m-” he cut you off before you could formally introduce yourself.

“You’re y/n. I do pay attention to people who aren't a complete waste of time.” The layers of his ego began to shine through his solid expression. The way you'd called him god just then, was another layer added to the ever-growing ego this man had. He thought he was above everybody else; he indeed was. In every way possible, he was above the normal human. With an exceptionally sharp mind, emotionless facade, and a spin of extraordinary talents, he was a god among men. “I’m taken aback, you don’t know me.” frowning you sat back at your desk. Leaning your head against the palm of your hand with a frown, you clicked your tongue.

Coming up with a sharp reply, you rolled your eyes. “Please, who doesn't know the great Dostoevsky. You’re only at the top of our class. Correcting myself before you can, the top in everything.” He snickered his brows raising in interest. His lips curled into a smirk moments before breaking to speak to you again.

“Consider your words before speaking. That wasn’t exactly the best wording to say "I'm better than everybody at everything.” It took you several seconds to realize what had gone through his head. Of course, he understood what you were saying, but he also managed to nitpick everything.

Blushing you placed your hands in front of your face. “I didn't think about it because that’s not what I was saying!” he snickered again. Listening to him stand you peeked from your hands to watch him set away the cello and bow.

“How often do you perform at that pub?” He switched the discussion relatively quickly. But with the sudden pause of your reaction and the setting away of the instrument, it flowed nicely with the conversation.

“Once or twice a month?” You answer honestly. A bit upset by the lack of real performances you had.

“Next time, I'll reserve something, and we’ll set something up. I want to see if you can play something… difficult.” It wasn't much of a question, more a demand. Nodding you wrote down your number, sliding it to the student with a smile as the bell rang.

For the next week, the two of you met in the unused rooms Fyodor managed to snag for practicing. He often shook his head at your way of playing. He did compliment the several different instruments you would take with you. From the cello to the violin, there wasn’t much you couldn’t play. Each was expertly designed and crafted to fit your arm length and height. Custom made and shipped from all over the world. Eventually, it became a routine, going to his concerts as he attended yours. While you praised how good he was, he would find the smallest mistakes to condemn you about.

[bringsruin]

shadowbringers lyrics from the lyrical tracks in the expansion of final fantasy xiv. maybe not all of them, but my favorites. 

what angel wakes me

❝Yet with each descent do we rise again to our hearts' content.❞ ❝Fly away my friend for a day and then, we'll begin again.❞ ❝Along in the night, joyous cries ring free.❞ ❝Do you love me not?❞ ❝Follow these petals cast aloft.❞ ❝Will you, when I'm gone, remember me?❞ ❝Braving anything together.❞ ❝Learn to play our part.❞ ❝Navigate the dark.❞ ❝Up we reach, catch a falling star.❞ ❝For we'll all be kings tomorrow.❞ ❝Sing in our sweet lullaby.❞ ❝Time wilts and fades.❞ ❝Luster lost in the rain.❞

who brings shadow

❝ One brings shadow, one brings light. ❞ ❝ One dark future no one survives. ❞ ❝ The road that we walk is lost in the flood. ❞ ❝ Here proud angels bathe in their wages of blood. ❞ ❝ At this, the world's end, do we cast off tomorrow! ❞ ❝To this riddle all souls are tied. ❞ ❝ Brief our moments, brazen and bright. ❞ ❝ Sating honor, envy, and pride. ❞ ❝ Run from the light. ❞ ❝ Authors of our fates orchestrate our fall from grace! ❞ ❝ Poorest players on the stage! ❞ ❝ Our defiance drives us straight to the edge! ❞ ❝ A reflection in the glass, recollections of our past! ❞ ❝ Far beyond this dream of paradise lost! ❞ ❝ Riding home... ❞ ❝ Dying hope... ❞ ❝ Hold onto hope... ❞ ❝ One more chapter we've yet to write. ❞ ❝Want for nothing, nothing denied. ❞ ❝We fall unto the end! ❞ ❝We won't end! ❞

tomorrow and tomorrow

❝The days of our years gone. ❞ ❝Our souls soaked in sin. ❞ ❝These memories ache with the weight of tomorrow. ❞ ❝Who fights? Who flies? Who falls? ❞ ❝Stand tall, my friend. ❞ ❝May all of the dark lost inside you find light again. ❞ ❝In time tumbling, turning we seek amends. ❞ ❝Our journey will never end! ❞ ❝A prayer to keep us ever by your side.❞ ❝An undying promise that we just might carry on in a song. ❞ ❝Pray don't forget us, your bygone kin. ❞ ❝With one world's end does a new begin. ❞ ❝And should our souls scatter unto the wind. still we shall live on. ❞ ❝Eternal winds from the land ascend. Here to lift us that we won't end. ❞

return to oblivion

❝Too weary to die. ❞ ❝Too lost to the ice for saving. ❞ ❝My sins claim me, untame me. ❞ ❝Broken, faded, how long have I waited to open my wings? ❞ ❝Turn the light on and let her in. ❞ ❝Won't you turn the light on? ❞ ❝You'll never win 'less you turn the light on. ❞ ❝The pain won't end 'till you turn the light on. ❞ ❝The soul longs for oblivion! ❞ ❝Falling too far for the fear to embrace me. ❞ ❝A voice from the past screaming there is no end. ❞ ❝A slave to my fate, ever doomed to repeat this. ❞ ❝A slave to my fate, ever doomed to repeat this. again and again and again and again. ❞ ❝No it won't overtake me. ❞ ❝No more goodbyes, though my heart is still aching. ❞ ❝One more time, here I come! ❞ ❝Reason resigned. ❞ ❝Spring's promise of sun is honored when winter's weighed down on us. ❞ ❝Clear as diamond, yet fragile as ice. ❞ ❝My heart is racing! ❞ ❝No more goodbyes, I am tired of waiting. ❞

to the edge

❝All our splendour bathed black in silence. ❞ ❝Our surrender a sombre reverie. ❞ ❝Left to sifting through faded memories. ❞ ❝Know our places, for worth is wordless. ❞ ❝Stay this descent to madness. ❞ ❝Come and save us. ❞ ❝Catch us before we fall! ❞ ❝Don't lose hope. ❞ ❝Like broken angels, wingless, cast from heavens' gates. ❞ ❝Our slumbering demons awake. ❞ ❝We only fly when falling far from grace. ❞ ❝Hell take us, heaven can wait. ❞ ❝Our lives a message in a bottle cast to sea. ❞ ❝Quick to their ends, our candles burn until we're free. ❞ ❝In monochrome melodies, our tears are painted in red. ❞ ❝Deep inside we're nothing more than scions and sinners! ❞ ❝In the rain do light and darkness fade! ❞ ❝Yes, time circles endlessly. ❞ ❝The hands of fate trained ahead. ❞ ❝All things change, drawn to the flame to rise from the ashes! ❞ ❝To begin, we first must see the end! ❞ ❝Rock of ages, we cast the first stone. ❞ ❝In our cages, we know not what we do. ❞ ❝Indecision here at the crossroads. ❞ ❝Recognition, tomorrow's come too soon. ❞ ❝Follow blindly like lambs to slaughter. ❞ ❝We're forgotten for now and evermore. ❞ ❝Without a compass wandering lost in lies of faith. ❞ ❝Faith slowly wasting away. ❞ ❝On hands and knees we pray to gods we've never seen. ❞ ❝Come shadow, come follow me! ❞ ❝The final hour upon us, no more time to breathe. ❞ ❝Tonight our time is nigh!  ❞

[revasserium]

what lies beyond forever with oikawa

hq!!reqs temporarily: closed ; all other reqs: open

send me a number a character and i’ll write you a drabble ;

82. what lies beyond forever oikawa ; college!au ; 1,653 words

he’d never believed in forever, not really -- the thought of some eternal plane stretching into the neverending distance, somewhere across the horizon -- it never found purchase in the vast winding tributaries of his mind. he never thought about the eventual heat-death of the universe, or the possibility of impending doom lurking across the cornflower sky, beyond the atmosphere where time and space became one and the same, where the very fabrics of reality, his reality, to be clear, might tear and be resewn into a different patchwork of truths. 

he never thought he’d yearn for forever. 

until he met you. 

you blow through his life like the summer wind, sweet and warm and a little unexpected but never unwelcomed. you smiled like sunsets and laughed like thunderstorms in the middle of july, the lightening around your shoulders striking through him, setting his very bones a-chatter. iwaizumii tells him he’s in love to his face, and still, oikawa refuses to believe him. 

“i don’t sing but if i did, it’d be that one song from the stupid disney movie you like about that dude with the weird hair and chin.” 

oikawa sputters, “first of all, i’ve heard you sing -- if you actually tried, you might not be half bad, not as great as me, obviously,” he ducks to avoid a narrow swipe for his head, “and second, hercules is a classic disney masterpiece and his hair and chin are iconic.” 

iwaizumi grunts, flipping through another page of the most recent issue of jump. 

“right, but that whole -- bitch, why you lyin’ song from there. that one -- that’s you right now.” 

oikawa heaves a stage-worthy sigh as he slumps down next to iwaizumi on their dorm couch. 

“iwa, i know i’ve taught you better than this -- you know that song’s from the why you always lyin’ meme, and not hercules.” and people have the gall to call him impatient. ignorant fools. but, he supposes that iwaizumi isn’t wrong (the fact that he usually never is pisses oikawa off more than he’d ever admit out loud), and that well, he is, technically, kind of sort of really actually, pretty deeply, in love. 

with you. 

“whatever. point is. you’ve got the shits. now what do you do about it?” 

oikawa grimaces, “could you not make my love life sound like irritable bowel syndrome? thanks.” 

“too bad your love life is actually like ibs. you think i’d be here otherwise?” 

oikawa blinks, “you’re only here cause i’m suffering from emotional diarrhea?” 

“isn’t there a saying about best friends being there to laugh at you in jail before bailing you out?” iwaizumi glances up from the comic. oikawa pouts. 

“that’s not how the saying goes -- it doesn’t even make any sense!” 

iwaizumi flaps a nonchalant hand at him, “whatever. point is. you’re deep in this shit, and somethin’s gotta be done.” 

oikawa heaves another sigh. what is it with iwaizumi and making shit-analogies. he was like this in highschool too, with all the shit-based nicknames. oikawa shudders as he remembers some of iwaizumi’s more creative names and decides there are better things to mope about. like you, and the fact that he’s still yet to make any moves towards this relationship he’d like to be in with you. 

“i mean,” oikawa mutters, huffing as he curls his arms around his knees on the sofa, “i know what i have to do. i just gotta grow another pair of balls and ask her out.” 

iwaizumi chuckles, “that’s assuming you already have a pair. and from where i’m sitting, that ain’t true. so let’s focus on just growing one pair, mkay?” 

this time, it’s iwaizumi who ducks barely in time to miss the couch cushion swung wide in his direction. 

“you’re the fucking worst.” 

iwaizumi grunts, grinning, “ain’t that what best friends are for?” 

when he sees you the next day, he wonders if iwaizumi was right -- if this is what love feels like. and it’s so much more than butterflies -- it had seemed so much easier in his head, and it’s not like he hasn’t dated before. but all those times, he was the one being confessed to. now that he’s on the other side of the equation, he starts to feel a little sorry for all the girls he's rejected across the span of his dating career -- if you say no, right now, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to recover. 

“tooru-san, are you okay?” 

oikawa clears his throat, casts his eyes about, wincing as he accidentally looks right into the light of the afternoon sun. it’s too damn hot. summer’s never really been his season, but sweet heavens, does it look good on you. or maybe it’s just the sundress. yeah, that oughtta be it. 

“i... i want you to go out with me.” 

you blink, before the corners of your lips lift and you breaking into a torrent of laughter. oikawa stares at you, dumbfounded. of all the way’s he expected this to go -- this was not one of them. 

“ah, right -- hajime-sempai did say you were going to confess today.” 

oikawa’s eyes go wide, he gapes at you for a few moments, his mouth working silently over all the words he doesn’t know how to say. 

“iwa told you? and since when were you guys on first-name terms?” 

“we’re in the same chem lab together.” 

oikawa scoffs, “right, i forgot that you’re both trying to be rocket scientists in the future.” 

you smile, “says the pre-med student.” 

oikawa flushes, “that’s besides the point.” 

you quirk an eyebrow, “ah, right. you were confessing, sorry -- please do continue.” 

oikawa scowls, knitting his arms across his chest, resisting the urge to stomp his feet like a petulant child. 

“well that’s not fair. you pre-empted me. you --!” he fights for a word, any word that might encompass some of what he’s feeling right now, but he comes up blank. finally, he simply settles for another huff, shoulders scrunched up in frustration. 

you grin, “would a date make it better?” 

“no -- it wouldn’t -- wait, what?” he does a double-take, all anger and embarrassment and irritability leaving him at your words and all they could entail. a date? with him? and you? does that mean -- 

you nod, “yeah, to make up for ruining your confession.” 

he narrows his eyes, “did iwa put you up to this too, because if he did, i swear to god i’ll kick his ass so hard it goes concave --” 

you’re laughing again, and the sound punches him in the stomach, hard, leaving him winded and unsteady. he’s always loved the way you laugh, but somehow, it lands differently on this side of the almost-confession. 

“he didn’t! i promise, and even if he did, that doesn’t change the fact that i’d still want to go with you.” 

“you... want to go... with me.” oikawa repeats the words as if trying to remember what each of them means. and then, his eyes brighten up like a cascade of bursting stars. 

“like on date?” he asks, hopeful, childish, wonderous. 

you roll your eyes, “didn’t i just say that?” but there’s no malice in your voice, and the smile on your lips is sweeter than anything oikawa’s ever seen in his entire life. 

“yeah -- ha -- guess you did,” he scratches at the back of his head, unsure of how to proceed from here. in his head, he’d only ever planned out the speech, the grandiose way in which he’d declare his love for you, how you’d hopefully accept, and then you’d somehow end up walking hand in hand into the blistering summer sunset, but this -- this fast-forward of events catches him off guard. 

it’s not in his nature of think about things like forevers. and he’s still not quite used to it. but with you, he thinks that he might have to reconsider. 

“so...? where should we go?” you ask, rocking on the balls of your feet. 

oikawa lets out a helpless laugh and shakes his head. 

“dunno. but uhm... let’s go find somewhere to go. together, maybe.” 

it’s not in his nature of falter either. but then again, he supposes that this is what love does to a person. scramble up their entire lives, upend it over a cliff till all the bits that used to make sense are sunk somewhere at the bottom of the ocean. 

you nod once, grinning wide and reach out to take his hand. he lets you lace your fingers. he lets you swing your arms. 

he lets you lead him towards the little bakery around the corner of the street, still a little dumbstruck by the turn of events but as the summer sun blows out over the vast horizon, he can’t help but wonder at all the impossible things that may lie beyond it. 

he smiles. three seconds into this relationship thing, and he’s already turning into a sap. 

but maybe iwaizumi really was right, and maybe this is just what love does to a person -- reshape the foundations of their world, make them wonder about the future, the one that no one can ever see, the one where the universe might die in a boom or a fizzle, where forever isn’t just a thought but a concept, tangible and achievable. dark -- terrifying. lonely.

he holds your hand a little bit tighter, smiles to himself, tells himself that he’s being stupid. but then he thinks that that’s part of love too -- being stupid enough to think about all those things, about all that might lay on the other side of forever, and then decide that well, he’s perfectly happy with everything on his side of forever, just the way it is. 

[fyeahhozier]

The Irishman is deeper and darker than he's maybe been given credit for... but the geniality and swoon factor remain high.

Variety: Hozier Proves He’s a Career Artist in Gratifying Greek Show

At Hozier’s sold-out show at L.A.’s Greek Friday night, one of the first things you couldn’t help noticing on stage —because it’s still an anomaly — was that his eight-piece lineup was half-male, half-female. Knowing his penchant for socially conscious songs, his decrial of “the anthems of rape culture” in his lyrics, and a general female-friendliness to his appeal, it’s easy to figure this gender parity is a conscious one and think: That is soooo Hozier. Which it is … and so effective, too, like just about every choice he’s made so far in his short, charmed career. On the most practical level, if you can bring in that much female harmony while also getting ace players in the bargain, why wouldn’t you? But it also makes for a good visual emblem of some of the other dual energies Hozier is playing with in his music: darkness and enlightenment; romantic hero and cad; raw blues dude and slick pop hero. He’s got a lot more going on than just being an earnest do-gooder. (Although he does do good, earnestly.)

During Friday’s hour-and-three-quarters set, Hozier focused largely on material from this year’s sophomore album, “Wasteland, Baby!,” which sounded good enough on record but almost uniformly improved in the live experience. Sometimes the upgrade came from making full use of the multi-instrumentalists on hand. The first album’s “Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene” now had Hozier on guitar facing off against violinist Emily Kohavi, trading solos — and if it’s hard to hear an electric guitar/fiddle duel without automatically thinking “The Devil Went Down to Georgia,” it was one of many welcome moments making use of the MVP skills of Kohavi, the newest addition to the band. Other times, the improvements on the album versions just had to do with Hozier allowing himself louder and gutsier guitar tones. He’s a bit like Prince, in that way — someone you’d happily listen to playing a very nasty-sounding six-string all night, although he has so many other stylistic fish to fry, which in this case means a still slightly greater emphasis on acoustic finger-picking.

For somebody who made his name on as forlorn but powerful an anthem as his 2014 breakout smash “Take Me to Church,” and who can milk that melodrama for all it’s worth, Hozier has a lot of other modes he can default to. He treads very lightly into the area of soul with songs like “Almost (Sweet Music),” the lyrics of which consist of either name-checking or alluding to some of the great jazz vocal classics of the 20th century, in an idiom that’s not so much jazzy itself as folk-R&B. You could almost cite it as the subtle kind of Memphis-swing thing Justin Timberlake should aspire to, if the tricky polyrhythm and oddly chopped up meters Hozier adds as wrinkles weren’t so un-replicable. Bringing up Stevie Wonder’s “Living for the City” as the night’s sole cover also established that early ‘70s era and sound as an influences he’d like to make perfectly clear. At the other extreme, this son of a blues musician can hard back to those roots so well, in noisy numbers like “Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue)” and the brand new “Jack Boot Jump,” that he could give the Black Keys a run for their money.

“Jack Boot Jump,” which is scheduled to go on an EP of completely fresh material that Hozier said he plans to put out before Christmas, was possibly the highlight of the night, even though — or because — it stripped his excellent band down to just him and longtime drummer Rory Doyle. Having earlier played the current album’s “Nina Cried Power,” which is maybe more of a tribute to other historic protest songs than one of its own, Hozier gave a lengthy introduction to “Jack Boot” indicating that he’s aware of the traps that come with the territory. “I do have some reservations about the words ‘protest song’ and ‘protest music,’” he admitted. “But if you’re familiar with an artist called Woody Guthrie, he wrote the evergreen anthem ‘Tear the Fascists’ down. I was kind of looking into songs in that sort of tradition, that singing out, and I was worried that this is 2019; it’s a very unsubtle way to approach songwriting.” But, he added, “it was a funny few weeks, with 70 people shot in Hong Kong and arrests obviously in Moscow; Chile now at the moment also. And I was thinking, forget about subtle art — what is not subtle is this murder of protesters, and what is not subtle is the jack boot coming down in Orwell’s picture of the future: ‘If you want to imagine the future, imagine a jack boot stomping on a human face forever,’ that chilling quote from ‘1984.’ Anyway, I was just thinking, yeah, f— it, it’s not subtle, but let’s do it.” His electric guitar proceeded to be a machine that kills fascists, and also just slayed as maybe the most rock ‘n’ roll thing he’s written. (Evidence of the new song on the web is scant, or should be, anyway, since he begged the audience “in good faith” not to film it.)

If there’s a knock people have on Hozier, it tends to be the sincerity thing. He’s a nice guy who’s finishing first, which doesn’t necessarily help him become an indie-rock darling or Pitchfork favorite. (Predictably, “Wasteland, Baby!” got a 4.8 rating there — that’s out of 10, not 5.) At the Greek, there was an almost wholesome feeling that would’ve been an immediate turnoff to anyone who insists on having their rock rough, starting with his graciousness in repeatedly naming the band members and repeatedly thanking his opening act (Madison Ryann Ward, a fetchingly husky-voiced Oklahoman filling in on this part of the tour for a laryngitis-stricken Freya Ridings). That extended to a sense of uplift in many of the songs that doesn’t always match the themes of the material. But then, there was the impossible good cheer and attractiveness of the young players, to match Hozier’s own; this is a group where everyone looks as if they could be in Taylor Swift’s band or actually looks like Taylor Swift. The swoon factor in Hozier’s appeal is undeniably high, and it’s safe to say no one left Griffith Park less smitten.

But ladies (and gentlemen), do be aware that Hozier has some dark-side moments that can almost make Leonard Cohen look like Stephen Bishop. The only time he really overtly accentuated that in concert was in introducing and playing the new album’s “No Plan,” a love song that is also an amiable statement of atheism in which Hozier reminds his beloved that the universe is going to collapse upon itself someday. This may be rather like the gambit in which the ‘50s boy gets the girl to make out with him in a fallout shelter, but in any case, Hozier didn’t stint on the end-of-all-things aspect of it, even putting up on screen behind the band a statement from astrophysicist Dr. Katie Mack pointing out humankind’s and the galaxy’s ultimate fate. (“Honestly I never really imagined I’d end up being name-checked in a song for talking about how the universe is eventually going to fade out and die so this is all very exciting for me,” Mack tweeted in replay earlier in the year.) Suffice it to say that with that soulful a vintage ‘70s groove and that fuzz-tastic a guitar line, many babies will be conceived to the tune of “No Plan,” whether it foresees generational lines ending in a godless black hole or not.

Other Hozier songs reveal darker gets more estimable the more you dig into it. With its bird talk, “Shrike” sounds sweet enough, till you realize that a shrike is a kind of bird that impales its prey on thorns, which does add a rather bloody metaphoric undertone to what sounds like a reasonably pacifist breakup song. “Dinner & Diatribes,” meanwhile, is just deeply horny, not thorny. The most brooding song of the set, “Talk,” has verses where Hozier sings in lofty, literary terms about the romantic myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, only to reveal in the chorus that he’s talking to this woman in such high-minded terms because he just wants to charm her into the sack. As a piece of writing, it’s hilarious, establishing a devilish side of Hozier it’s good to hear. As a piece of performance, it’s just sexy.

But as enriching as it is to realize Hozier has a healthy sense of humor in his writing, bad-boy wit is never going to be what you’re going to come away from a Hozier album or show with. The main part of Friday’s concert ended, as expected, with “Take Me to Church,” his outraged take on abuse and homophobia in the scandalized Catholic church — which just happens to be easily taken as a lusty hymn to sexuality. Following that, the large band returned to a stage that had now been decked out in some kind of ivy, as Hozier talked about his love for the late Irish poet Seamus Heaney (whose last words he has tattooed on his arm) and, “since I’ve come this far,” went ahead and recited his poem “Mint,” sharing his hero’s affection for the plant and its “tenacity for life.”

Tenacity is likely to be a buzzword, too, for Hozier, given his leaps and gains as a writer-performer and seeming level head atop his tree-top shoulders. Taller still of voice, musical dexterity and good will — and still just 29 —  he’s somebody the swooners and even some cynics should feel good about settling in with for a very long Irish ride.

[teddynewell]

𝚝𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚢'𝚜  𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢  𝚊𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗  ; 𝚊   𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚊   .

𝐓𝐖: murder mentions. 

𝐎𝐎𝐂.

Evie wants Macbeth, but Teddy wants Macduff.  I did mention Macbeth on my app so it was my to go option when the task was announced. But then I realized that realistically, Teddy wouldn’t go for Macbeth. For a number of reasons you’ll find in the self para. But I did made him get a lil “Macbethian” through his audition, it just sort of happened, hehe. Will Heidi be able to notice? 👀  As I said on my app, I still think if he were to get Macbeth it’d be hella ironic and honestly a lot of fun to play. The development he’d go through by preparing for the role, especially regarding his mental stability would just be delicious to play out. But Macduff?? The raw emotions? The pain from losing his family? The anger? The duel with Macbeth at the end? HOT. I feel like it also speaks to Teddy on a level he doesn’t understand *yet*.

Honestly, I feel like a lot of how Teddy will develop as a character moving forward would be defined by who his role is in the spring play, whether it’d be my choice (Macbeth) or his (Macduff). And either way, I’d be really excited to find out and play him out!

𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀.

“Be patient till the last. Romans, countrymen, and lovers!”

Audition mornings used to be exciting, sometimes excruciating, sometimes bright and promising. But for the first time since he arrived at Alderidge, Teddy doesn’t feel absolutely nothing as he makes his way towards the Fine Arts Building and into the theatre. Orson’s gone and Teddy should he be happy to still have a chance at the lead, shouldn’t he? Maybe. If it weren’t for the fact.. Well. We all know the fact already.

Truth of the matter is Teddy has had a hard time trying to choose a character to audition for and a monologue to prepare. Maybe he could’ve tried to go for one of the leads, it’s his last play at Alderidge so why not go out with a bang? In the public’s eye, Teddy is still one of Orson’s favorites. It would be the logical thing to do. But Teddy’s life is already a Macbethian tale of nightmares and visions. Why would he want to go through the exact same thing on stage? 

Besides, and most importantly, playing one of the leads might bring him unwanted attention from the weird Orson cult, or worse, the police. Teddy doesn’t need people looking at him. And Macduff, the rightful warrior who acted for the good of Scotland, that’s a big enough role that will look good on his resumé. And in the meantime, Teddy can go through the rest of the semester unnoticed. It’s an infallible plan.

Oh Teddy darling… you innocent, idiotic, little fool.

Teddy is calm when he walks into the stage for his audition. It’s the sort of calmness that fills someone when they have simply stopped caring about something, it’s indifference. Although to a stranger's eyes, it might read as an almost arrogant confidence.

“Good morning, my name is Teddy Newell-Smith, I’m auditioning for the role of Macduff and today I’ll be reading from Brutus’ monologue in Julius Caesar, Act III, Scene 2.”

Teddy is reading Brutus but he has his Romeo smile on when he greets Heidi and the rest of her committee. He feels at home under the warm lights of the stage, standing firmly before his audience. Heidi gives him his cue to start and Teddy stands firmly in place, legs slightly parted, back straight, shoulders broad. Suddenly, he is no longer himself. He is a young roman, hopeful for the future of his country. “Hear me for my cause, and be silent, that you may hear…” His voice is firm, loud, as if he was speaking in front of thousands and not an almost empty theatre.

“Believe me for mine honour, and have respect to mine honour, that you may believe: censure me in your wisdom, and awake your senses, that you may the better judge.” 

Teddy choosing to read Brutus was not a random decision. There’s a similarity between him and Macduff; brave warriors fighting for the good of their people, they went above and beyond for what they believed was right. But most importantly, there’s something about the young Roman who betrayed his mentor for the good of their nation that makes Teddy feel understood. You see, for the past few months, Teddy has been trying to make sense of his actions, to make sense of what happened that night and what it meant for him and for his classmates. Thinking of Orson as the tyrant Julius Caesar might just be exactly what he needs to clear himself out of any guilt, it might be just exactly what he needs to speak his lines with raw emotion, to deliver the speech almost perfectly.

“If then that friend demand why Brutus rose against Caesar, this is my answer,” he carries on, looking straight at his audience. For a moment, it almost feels like Orson’s eyes are on him, as if he was out there watching. It fills Teddy with bravery as he takes a step forward, looking down to the floor for a second before he looks back up. There’s a hint of vulnerability in his eyes and in his words when he speaks again: “Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more.”

Teddy loved Orson, that’s for sure. And he can feel it in every single of his words. He admired him, he looked up to him. From the moment they met, and till the very last moment, Teddy wanted nothing more than to be worthy in Orson’s eyes, he craved his admiration, his respect. And for the past four years, Teddy did everything in order to get it. But instead, the very last words that Orson ever spoke to him were “you disgust me.” And now Teddy has to live with the memory of blood and a skull cracking against a rock for the rest of his life. It will follow him everywhere. It makes his own blood boil with anger, but this time, there’s no one he can fight. There’s nothing left to do but to let the anger consume him from inside, like the most fatal poison.

“Had you rather Caesar were living and die all slaves, than that Caesar were dead, to live all free men?”

For a moment, Teddy truly believes he has done Alderidge a favor. “Look at me, I saved us. I have saved future generations from becoming little chess pieces in his foul game of tyranny and egocentrism,” Teddy thinks as his voice raises with Brutus’ question to the Romans, his closed fist hitting his chest, once twice. He feels strong, indestructible, just like Brutus did back then, standing on the righteousness of his actions. 

But deep down, Brutus and Teddy know… it was treason, the way they murdered the one person they called a friend for one and a mentor for the other.

Then a pause. And Teddy’s voice is soft again, vulnerable. “As Caesar loved me, I weep for him;” he brings his eyes to the floor, his hands running through his hair in anguish. Because deep down, Teddy still hopes Orson felt at least a small flicker of admiration or respect for him, he saw something good in Teddy, didn’t he? The same way Julius Caesar did for Brutus. “As he was fortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was valiant, I honour him”, the smallest hint of a smile is on his lips as he looks up at his audience again. Because just as Julius Caesar had a few good things going on about him, so did Orson. He remains still the smartest man Teddy has ever crossed paths with. He taught him the art of making his heart beat to the sound of Shakespeare’s words. “But, as he was ambitious, I slew him.” Teddy’s whole demeanour has shifted with his last words, there’s a threatening look in his eyes and just the smallest hint of a smile, it’s almost sinister, almost on the brink of madness. Because in the end, nothing was enough. Julius Caesar wanted the world. And so did Orson. Teddy could’ve bled dry on stage and it still would be mediocre at best.

A second too long has passed, Teddy looks down, brings his hands together in front of him. He takes one deep breath to regain his composure. Then he carries on, standing tall and confident once again, the righteous warrior speaks to his people with heroism. Brutus is valiant and fair, after all, he is the most honorable roman of them all. “I have done no more to Caesar than you shall do to Brutus,” he finally tells his people. An ominous promise lies in between his words. Another tragic omen for the young actor and the valiant warrior alike.

At last, he takes a step back, looking down to the floor to break character. When he finally looks up, Teddy is smiling one last of his Romeo smiles to Heidi and his audience. “Thank you.” He leaves the stage with the sensation of Orson’s ghost following closely behind, laughing maniacally as if Teddy’s destiny had been long decided anyways. Nothing new about that.

“With this I depart,—that, as I slew my best lover for the good of Rome, I have the same dagger for myself, when it shall please my country to need my death.”

[druid-for-hire]

UNSWAYED PT. IV

(pt. i) (pt. ii) (pt. iii) (pt. v) (epilogue) (askblog)

this update consists of a bit of the trek back to hadestown and the workers’ revolution that lasts the summer until persephone’s return in the fall, and being granted the chance to leave at last--to leave for real.

thank you so so much to all my friends @supercantaloupe​, @unholy-boi​ (who helped write the Riots sect), @damondaunnodyke​, & @s-aint-elmo

persephone has left again and sets to repairing the world up Top after the hurricane, now that she’s helped the lovers.

orpheus and eurydice are... on the exodus from the Beyond. it’s a long road--it’s a long walk. takes a week or two.

kampê slinks into the shadows and hides, bitter, among the smokestacks. she hurts and she fears. hades will come for her, she knows, but she knows this place far better than he--that man barely checks up (hence how her grip on the place has gotten out of control), hasn’t been there for all of the rearrangements and updates in centuries. she knows where to hide. he will not find her in her domain. this is her darkness.

the imagery of the Exodus is very much akin to/inspired by the same Exodus of the movie Prince of Egypt. u kno that one?

looks like this, yeah, but like... obviously without the fish, because the walls aren’t made of ocean in this au, they’re just rock

and orpheus and eurydice leading the pack, shadowed looks of determination on their faces

again: this is where Promises (But Sadder) happens

as eurydice takes orpheus back to the main parts of hadestown, she notices too many things: his legs tremble, his hands shake, he breathes just barely too hard and clears his throat and coughs too much; and as they talk about the small things to fill some of the quiet, orpheus asks “what’d you say?” too often

(it’s hearing damage babey!)

of course, no one is spared from the hardships of hadestown. but she... does not like seeing those scars on orpheus

this long walk is also the time they tell each other everything that happened to them since they last saw each other

reminder: orpheus is still weak & kinda sick! and it’s a long walking journey. and everyone’s tired. sometimes they all sit down and camp for the “night” or something. 

the beyond’s not been kind to him; he’s pale as a corpse, with sunken eyes and hollow cheeks, looks as dead as he feels

(really, all the other workers from the Beyond don’t look much better)

it’s kind of a spooky sight when they stop for a few hours and he lays down to take a rest. the state he’s in...

and eurydice is a fairly good singer--nowhere near on orpheus’ (former) level, but good, and she probably sings him small tunes here and there just for the two of them, to relax and comfort and what have you

@axolotlbeans: at some point they stop for the “night” and orpheus collapses; eurydice, who’d been singing, gathers him in her arms and says, "Orpheus, you're shivering; is it cold or fear?"

and he interrupts her, burying his face into her neck and softly rasps "Just keep singing" in the smallest, weakest voice 

when they arrive. it is... a lot.

the long train of people is... heavily distracting. and they seem to come out of nowhere--a lot of hadestown wasn’t even aware there was a Beyond ‘till orpheus got banished, and then they didn’t know the name or what it was, just that he got banished somewhere. even the foremen turn to see; everyone’s sort of like. uh. what the hell is going on? and work sort of stalls out a little bit

eurydice and orpheus go straight to hades and present their demands to let them go. let them all go. blah blah blah some other stuff it probably sounds fairer than that, i don’t have the brain energy to outline all their demands specifically

by the slightly edited words of my good friend supercanteloupe:

let us go, eurydice demands, and hades just laughs, jailbirds like themselves don’t get their freedom so easily. get back to work, songbird, and don’t let the foreman know you’ve been slacking. and all of the rest of you... you’d better return before you’re made to return.

they go, but they’re not done, not by a long shot.

they don’t go back to work.

orpheus cannot sing, but he is still a poet, and the workers have their voices too

the bristling unrest of Hadestown begins to develop into protests, and the protests turn into riots.

orpheus can craft all the words eurydice needs to say with her spirited and powerful voice, to hit every point to cause uprisings and to stab every point to whittle hades down

hades notices things are beginning to go wrong. machine malfunctions, damaged, outright broken; strikes, sit-ins. rolling blackouts. eurydice and orpheus come back and back, with more and more workers, the ones they led out from the beyond and the ones from the factories and mines, always to demand: let us go. 

and hades grows only more calloused and bitter. you failed your test, you don't get second chances. Players who break the rules are banned from play. 

and every time they turn back, back to their increased workloads and their stricter overseers and their hope now stretching thin, and their anger growing more

ok back to me writing: but enough pushing, and even the overseers are beginning to turn.

the furies, infamous guardswomen and union busters, are doing their best to do damage control. and they are fierce. they are vicious, nearly (but not quite) as bad as kampê, and there are three of them--but then there are only three of them, and they cannot possibly control every single instance of revolt when the ball gets rolling

eurydice and orpheus are now the leaders of rebellion, and both of them are marked for banishment. they have to run from god-king hades and stay out of the unrelenting sights of the Furies.

(and this also means they can’t work or the foremen still on hades’ side might turn em in. so they catch a break and a nap, finally, jesus christ)

but.

there is trouble (For hades) in the fact that kampê has practically gone missing. no matter how many are sent to the Beyond, now there is no one to stop them from just... making the trip back. sure. it takes a long time. about a week or so of walking, but they just... come back.

hades takes notice. hades visits the Beyond for the first time in so long and tries to find her, to no avail. the Beyond is far changed than when he last saw it and he does not have the time to spend to find her--he cannot step away from his children for more than a few hours, lest something go wrong again. this is just another inconvenience on his long, long list.

@lookoutitsregan: “they're legally allowed to leave after 15 minutes”

orpheus and eurydice will be dealt with by himself, and so they run--avoid him as much as they can, hide under his radar

by the words of unholy-boi: hades will not let go of his empire so easily. the building pressure only makes him clench his fists tighter, bend his back further, push further to his own breaking point (and towards everyone else’s). 

he’s more likely to go down screaming that he isn’t, more likely to cling hard and furious to his city, push his workers into the dirt and further lose persephone in the process, the further this goes, the more against him, the more likely he is to furiously, dangerously fight back. 

as summer turns late, hadestown doesn’t soften like hades may have had it for persephone in years long since past, hadestown turns from city to warzone

ok back to me again

for the songbirds: there’s the riots and them narrowly escaping hades like all the damn time while he pushes everyone else to their limits

and yet they refuse to be pushed and usurp their foremen as fast as he reinstates things

revolutions usually have unifying symbols of a sort, and the many isolated revolts do eventually coalesce into this all being an outright revolution--a workers’ movement, if you will.

the red carnation. though they don’t have it, they all remember seeing in orpheus’ hand before he was banished--the one solid sliver of the aboveground anyone saw in a long time

@s-aint-elmo: the red carnation becomes their symbol--though they don’t have it, they paint it in hidden alleyways and abandoned factory walls. they have red paper flowers and red cloth tucked into pockets and tool belts

or the red of some banner that waves in the acrid smoke-wind of hadestown’s false air fronts

flowers, painted and made and substituted, are cropping up all over hadestown, and in increasingly more obvious spots. life is blooming in the underground for the first time in so long

OH ALSO, another fun layer of symbolism with the red cloths:

in the staging of actual hadestown, when orpheus sings "and they're gonna bend their branches down and lay their fruit upon the ground; the almond and the apple, the sugar and the maple" the ensemble is on the tables, reaching over eurydice like tree branches in a sort of ^ formation; on "almond" and "apple," the first two layers pull out and dangle white cloth, but on "sugar from the maple," the dude at the top dangles a red one and drops it into eurydice's hands

so there’s that!

also being the bounty of spring above...... rejecting the underworld. some shit like that

in a musical there’d definitely be a sort of revolution song

like uhhh... Why We Build the Wall II. it’s Different this time. it’s not about the circular logic of the wall, it’s about rebelling against the order hades has set for them

There’s so many lines that can be drawn from elsewhere in the musical to be inserted into this

Why do we build the wall, my brothers, my sisters?

He said the wall would bring us peace, the wall would keep out the enemy.

mister hades set us free to work ourselves into the ground. a lot of souls have gotta die to make the underworld go round.

why are we digging out own graves for a living, if we're free tell me why we can't even stand upright?

some sort of rebellion/callback against “who are you to think that you can hold your head up higher than your fellow man?”

i’m gonna count to three, and then i’ll raise my head, singin’, one, two--!

(except they probably finish the count in this one)

also, because i am weak for really great chords being belted out by a big chorus and hearing every voice part slot together, because this is a revolution song with lots of people i think it should have that

everybody 👏knows 👏the 👏walls 👏have 👏ears 👏

thank u supercanteloupe & s-aint-elmo for ur additions on this

the fates’ voices still carry on the wind, hadestown’s false air fronts of stale and acrid air, but orpheus and eurydice have since learned to turn their backs to it

ALSO? Flags

with the revolution coming to span A Really Big Chunk of hadestown, most likely more than half, there’d probably be people putting up flags and banners

i’m just like, inspired by the imagery of the flag raisings in wwii and post-9/11, and also i’m thinking of les mis/french revolution in general not gonna lie

sure, the Furies are union-busters and come after any sign of revolution, but every revolution is a fight against something. there’s always blood spilled, what different is this one?

they can’t be everywhere at once and they’re not like the Fates--they get tired, they’re not omnipresent and omniscient, the people are not powerless

the flag is supposed to attract attention, the point is to be loud

and by god, they are screaming

this is what a steel mill looks like at night. hadestown was sort of already in a hazy blaze, but combo this with a revolution in its midst, with fighting and fire, and... well, it’s a mess

and through all the flames are the carnations blooming, painted and carved on walls and smokestacks and pathways

(it’s very poetic)

(tumblr will kill this post if i link to the source directly, so. photo taken by DragonWolfACe @ deviantart)

hermes still ferries on the train, but the schedule is all out of whack thanks to the strikes and riots turning the systems upside down. he witnesses plenty of the mess that hadestown has fallen into, and the fight the songbirds are fighting

he relays as much news as he can to persephone

(thanks @damondaunnodyke​ for helping write this bit w/ seph)

persephone... worries

she already snuck underground to help them once and a hurricane ravaged the Top for her absence. the songbirds have escaped, and now have to fight this fight for themselves--she can’t go back down to help them, because she has to bring the summertime to the Top, and she refuses to be the cause of another storm

so she’s stuck aboveground. 

and she’s uhh. stressing. drinking. worrying.

everyone can tell there’s something off, but she doesn’t want to dwell on it, insisting that everyone else should just focus on the good times. let me tell ya something that my mama said to me...

she tries to not stress--there’s nothing she can do right now, why worry, you know? unless she wants to get more gray hairs than she’s already got

but during one of those celebrations she almost says “let the poet bless this round!” before catching herself, remembering that she’s... not there

a lot of people give her a glance; why’d she stop?

but she picks herself back up again, only a moment's falter, and just toasts to life and summer

the end of summer.

the revolution rages on. it’s not calmed down--the very opposite, in fact, more ferocious than ever

(and thanks unholy-boi for basically writing this bit for me HBGFHG)

persephone knows something is wrong when the train isn’t early--isn’t on time, but in fact late to pick her up. the summer has stretched on longer than it should, and in some ways, that is just as dangerous as the winter going on for too long

hades has been getting ready to bring her home. it takes browbeating and strongarming to get the trains running, far too late for his liking.

at last the train comes for her, and when it is hermes who offers his hand to bring her onboard, she knows that things in the underworld are bad--an inferno, dangerous if not dire, and she wonders if the songbirds are still alive, or if they’ve gone and the revolution still rages without them

hades aches for his wife, but he dares not step away from hadestown for a moment. he’s become obsessed and absolutely determined to quell, to crush this rebellion

hades is breaking, but refuses to bend, hades has refrains where he refuses to sing but slips into poetry and catches himself halfway through, hades is breaking, he puts in people he believes he can trust and they turn on him out of desperation, hades is running out of places to desperately hold and he is breaking. hadestown is oblivion. hades is wearing a crown that mangled his head.

persephone steps off of the train, and is taken aback by the state hadestown is in

 the people feel her breeze in, and it is some relief, but the can’t tell how this will change things. if it’ll make things worse, if it’ll make it better

people ask for her aid; but she’s too busy looking around, trying to find the songbirds (after getting confirmation that they’re still alive) who are still hiding

and she finds them. she sees orpheus and eurydice (orpheus, who hades so clearly saw himself in, and eurydice, who she sees herself in) still fighting, still in love.

she sees hades’ mercilessness to the boy he sees himself in. she sees eurydice’s unending determination (in contrast to her own grown apathy) 

and she’s reminded of times before. song or no song.

she decides that this cannot keep going, and hades will keep going farther and farther until he fucking self-destructs at the end of his fall and she wants to catch him before that happens

hades raises his fist against his people, persephone takes his hand and she starts singing. the old song. holding his hand. protecting the people. 

la, la la la, la la la 

and he realizes what he’s doing, as music swells, as the rest of hadestown, quietly, starts to join her in singing. as her warmth, her natural warmth, surrounds him, and he smells flowers and feels pollen and sunlight, and he--

well, the ice around his heart starts to crack, and the iron starts to melt

she catches him before he breaks

His Kiss, the Riot is... different

more emotionally charged, i think, because of the fight he’s been fighting for so long, so fiercely and ardently. he’s much more emotionally compromised, stressed and strung out and now everything’s been turned on his head

he can’t just let them go, but he can’t make them stay. he definitely cannot make them stay. and if the songbirds leave, they will take almost all of hadestown with them

it’s not like... Hellfire Notre Dame levels of dramatic. it’s still quiet, dark, and brooding, but hades is. more of a mess, really

but he comes to his conclusion all the same

that’s about all i got on this. i just wanted to make a note. i thought it was important

the task is given: they can walk, but eurydice must walk in front, and orpheus must follow behind. she must not turn behind to see if orpheus is following--if he has not collapsed, and she will not be able to hear if he has. if she turns, she may return above, but her lover will return to hadestown. 

it’s given to eurydice instead because while she might be harder to instill doubt in, she’s as much susceptible to loneliness as any other. she may have been alone for so long, but she is desperate to not be alone again. and orpheus is still weak--still sick, and she fears he might give out before they reach the top, as much as he assures her he’ll be fine

and if they fail, well, they keep the poet, who was damned to hell anyway--a sentence is stronger than a contract

(Also, this is now Wait For Me III (the first being Orpheus on the way to Hadestown; second being Eurydice trying to find Orpheus; this is the third) and it is HUGE and GRAND, as the climax of the revolution. just as big, if not bigger than the bway version’s

(tho as per usual it’s tinged with sadness because of the circumstances, and the fact that, if this were staged, orpheus would be the only one not singing)

and then... doubt comes in

eurydice walks the path to the surface

hermes' warnings echo in her head, all the same he gave to orpheus in the normal timeline

it's cold

the fates badger her and bleed into her thoughts, systematically unwinding her confidence as she marches on through the dark

one foot after the other, she tells herself

after so long of turning her back to the wind, to the fates, she has learned to keep her head on straight

orpheus is not sturdy, especially now, but he is not so weak to fail on a walk like this--long, but simple, and upon even ground

he is there, she tells herself. he is strong enough to keep up.

his heart is strong enough. it has to be.

hades lied to everyone in the underground--hades lied to make hadestown, she thinks

hades...

just this once--

she chooses to believe he didn't lie to her.

(pt. i) (pt. ii) (pt. iii) (pt. v) (epilogue) (askblog)

bonus:

[mon-dayragingslut4monstaxday6]

Strawberry Kisses: The Night Before

Marcy’s roommate, who is dating Sungjin, takes her to a get together with Day6. There, she’s informed that someone in the group likes her, but she couldn’t depict who.

A/N: I could write this forever, I love Marcy and the boys. I’m in the process of making Part 3 (currently unnamed), but will not be posted as quickly as Part 1 and 2 (but it’s my goal). Also, low-key had my own housemate be the inspiration for Marcy’s roommate (because she’s a trip and I adore her).

Warnings/Themes: This is more plot and fluff than smut, but does have some spice. Heavy petting, dry humping, some dirty talk, praise, marking (overall pretty light compared to the last chapter)

Word Count: 5.1k 

I have nothing to be worried about. My best friend, Seo Yeon, or So-Yo, is taking me to a party at her boy-toy’s place. She’s been seeing this guy who’s a leader of a Korean rock band that is currently stationed in the states, don’t ask me how, she can’t even explain. I met this guy a couple times, as well as his bandmates and they’re pretty great. Their music is phenomenal and their personalities are outrageously fun. Her boyfriend, Sungjin, may be goofy, but he has a good head on his shoulders and is gradually making So-Yo a better person. Not saying she was a bad person, but she’s becoming a happier and healthier version of herself. Overall, he’s someone she needed and I cannot be more grateful for her relationship with him.

The others, on the other hand are all eligible bachelors and So-Yo wants to set me up with one of them so bad. Sungjin wants to stay out of it, but that’s because he knows something, but won’t tell me what it is. So-Yo thinks it’s because some of the members might like me more than they lead on.

Like I said, I only met the whole group a couple of times and I treasure every single one, so if the choice was mine, I don’t know who I would pick. They all gave me their numbers, but the other guitarist, Jae, texts me the most, but it’s mostly exchanging memes. The bassist, Brian or Younghyun, who has the stage name Young K, but no one calls him that, is by far the prettiest boy, and he is quite the gentleman to me, but he’s still kind of shy. The keyboardist, Wonpil, is an absolute sweetheart and always finds a way to make me smile, but at first, he was too timid to even look at me without blushing. Lastly, the drummer, Dowoon, still struggles with his English, but the last time I saw him, I helped him out a bit and he’s such a goof ball it was hard to concentrate.

Tonight, could make things different. So-Yo encouraged me to bring my swimsuit, in case we want to take a dip in the pool at their place. I chose to wear something slightly out of my comfort zone: a black lacey romper that could easily pass as lingerie. Instead of my usual jeans and a t-shirt. I didn’t intend on wearing something different, but So-Yo encouraged me to show some of my wild side that we missed so much.

I keep bugging So-Yo to tell me who likes me, the curiosity is giving me nostalgia to high school. She won’t tell me, because she doesn’t know for sure, but she knows Sungjin does. I ask her to butter him up so he could tell her, but sadly he’s not that dumb to fall for that.

We head over to their place. I’m extra nervous to go, not only because I’m wearing something different, but one or more of the four bandmates likes me. Holy shit, what if all of them like me? I’d like to think I’m a delight, but it would make sense on some of them. Wonpil is a blushing/smiling buffoon, Dowoon is super silly shy boy, Brian is a suave mysterious man and Jae is a humorous dork. I pull out my compact mirror to check out my makeup. I went with a nearly bare face, due to us probably going swimming. Of course, I put on waterproof mascara, but I still wanted to look a bit “natural”.

“You look fine”, So-Yo compliments me as we walk down the hallway to their front door.

“Fine might not do it. I’m solving the mystery on who likes me, if any, till it kills me”, I groan. I stuff my compact in my little backpack, between my extra pair of panties and my swimsuit.

“I mean, they all like you, Marcy, but if any of them like you? I already told you, I don’t know, but I have a strong guess who does”, she shrugs.

“Who?”, I whisper.

“I can’t confirm anything, it won’t be fair to the guy. I could be wrong”, she slaps my arm.

“But tell me who you think?”, I beg. So-Yo knocks on the door.

“I’m not telling you shit, because I love you and I love these boys. Would I love for you and one of my boys to be together? Hell yes, but I can’t tell you who to choose”, she whispers. Tell me who to choose? So, does everyone like me then? Sungjin answers the door and welcomes us with big warm hugs. He’s definitely a teddy bear. I hear Jae in the kitchen shout for us. We all head to the kitchen, where we’re summoned, and see all of the guys leaning against the counters/appliances. They obviously had some drinks before we got there.

“We’re starting with some shots. We all need some time to chillax”, Jae welcomes us with some shots of clear liquid, probably vodka.

“Shots? Oh shit, you guys haven’t seen Wild CC yet”, So-Yo laughs before accepting the shot. The boys are intrigued.

“There’s a Wild CC?”, Brian chuckles before sipping out of his red solo cup. So-Yo nudges my arm.

“It’s been a long time since she’s seen Wild CC, but I still got it in me”, I bashfully accept the shot glass.

“Do you?”, she squints her eyes at me. Jae gasps. I scrunch my nose, pouting and take the shot like a champ. The shot was definitely not vodka. If there is one thing So-Yo and I bond over, it’s bets. The boys cheer for me as Jae pours me another one.

“Get it, C!”, Dowoon cheers. He calls me C, because it was difficult for him to say my name, so he gave me the nickname “C”. Jae tends to call me Mars, Brian calls me Marcy or my full name, Marcella, while Wonpil and Sungjin also call me Marcy.

“Did you eat before coming?”, Sungjin asks, being the dad of the group. So-Yo whispers to him. He exits the room, slightly worried.

“He’s going to order some food. Go meet your bachelors”, she whispers to me before taking her shot and following Sungjin, taking our bags with her. Now, I’m left alone with four beautiful Korean men.

“Am I going to take shots alone?”, I incite a group shot. The boys lift up their shots.

“May friendships never die, work hard play hard, hugs not drugs”, I toast before tapping my shot to the counter and shooting it back. They all laugh from my toast. At least I get them to laugh. The shots are getting tougher to take, but dammit, this is helping my nerves.

“Another”, I tap my glass to the counter, asking for a refill.

“One more, then you’re taking a break”, Brian puts his hand on my back, concern in his voice. I inhale sharply. He’s hugged me before, but his hand is touching my exposed back, his fingertips burning against my skin.

“Of course”, I smile at him. We all prep for another shot.

“May the memes be dank, music be fresh, and sex be mind blowing”, I pull straight out of my ass, avoiding eye contact with all of the boys. They are taken by surprise over the sex portion of my toast. I take my shot and look at them. I shrug my shoulders and they take their shots. So-Yo comes back to the kitchen.

“Holy shit, how many did you guys take?”, she questions.

“I’m on my third”, I give her the sign for three, so far not feeling any effect.

“I’m so fucking proud of you, but let’s sit down before it hits you all at once”, she gestures for me to exit the kitchen. I follow her out of the kitchen and straight to the living room.

“So, I got some tea from Sungjin”, she whispers. Shit, so that’s why she pulled me out of the kitchen!

“Like what?”, I silently squeal.

“So, they all really dig you, don’t worry about that, but he definitely knows of two of them who were bickering earlier about which one you like more”, she confesses.

“Which one I like more?”, I point to myself. She nods and sits me down on the couch.

“I don’t even know which one I like more”, I mumble to myself.

“Come on, there has to be one of them you like more”, she scoffs at me.

“Sort out the pros and cons and I’ll go grab us some snacks”, she blows me a kiss before heading back to the kitchen. I hear her chat with the boys in Korean. That sneaky bitch, I love her. Pros and cons for the boys? Well Younghyun/Brian is stunning, always finds the right things to say, and looks out for me, just like a minute ago. Cons? He can be pretty uptight, can’t read his face, and is almost too pretty to be single, if that is a con. Jae is funny, extra, adorable, and is always down for something stupid. Cons, he might be a little too extra, a little too loud, and I have yet to see his serious side more than once. Wonpil is a sweetheart, looks good in any outfit, and is lowkey teaching me piano. Cons, he is still too shy around me. Dowoon is goofy, has the best facial expressions, always finds a way to make me smile. Cons, is still too shy around me, similar to Wonpil, and his English is very beginner so it would be difficult to communicate with him at first.

I hear my name within their conversation in the kitchen. I peak my head in.

“Talking shit?”, I spook So-Yo.

“No, I was just telling them about your progress in grad school”, she pulls out of her ass. They all give me a round of applause. I squint my eyes at her. She gives me a little wink.

“Bullshit she told you, but thank you guys”, I thank them while I do a botched curtsy.

“To break the ice and to get to know each other. Let’s play a game of truth or lie”, So-Yo changes directions, showing her inner camp counselor.

“It’s where someone in the room says something about themselves or something that has happened, could be true or made up, hence the name. The rest of the group has to guess if it’s true or a lie. If everyone gets the answer right, the person telling the truth or lie has to drink. If the group splits answers, whoever is wrong drinks. It’s simple”, So-Yo explains the game then translates in Korean. They all seem pretty excited to play. We all crowd the counter to make ourselves some mixed drinks to use for the game. We all stand in a circle in the kitchen with our drinks. I wanted to stand next to So-Yo and Sungjin, but she low-key puts me in between Jae and Brian while she stands on the other side of the circle. They are both so fucking tall compared to me, I’m feeling intimidated.

“Since I suggested the game, I’ll go first. Marcy is the first friend I made in the US. Truth or lie”, So-Yo starts off the game. Nearly everyone says truth, except for me and Jae. It was a lie, I was the second friend she made in the US, but our friendship is the longest. The losers take a swig of their drinks. We go along a circle for more truth or lie.

“The longest sleep I ever had was fifteen hours. Truth or lie”, Sungjin contemplates. We all say lie, which was correct. He laughs and says he never counted the longest sleep he ever had and takes a big gulp of his drink.

I keep my eyes on So-Yo to avoid looking at the boys. Brian nudges my arm.

“Are you ok?”, he worries. My grip on the cup tightens. I nod. He puts his hand on my back again, this time his fingertips feel like ice against skin.

“Don’t tense up, we’re all friends here”, he mouths. I hold the cup up to my face to hide my blushing cheeks. He flashes a smile at me.

“You’re cute when you’re shy”, he whispers before putting his hand in his pocket. Say what? Did I hear him correctly! It gets to my turn and so far I learned that Wonpil can’t lie to save his life, reminds me of myself, while Brian can lie through his teeth, proving my theory of him being mysterious.

“Marcy, truth or lie”, So-Yo purses her lips. All eyes are on me.

“What could I say?”, I try to gain inspiration.

“Be bold! Bet you won’t say something crazy”, So-Yo raises an eyebrow. Bitch knows how to get me. Everyone ooo’s at me, acknowledging the challenge.

“Fine, I’ll go bold”, I mumble.

“I play your songs as background noise while I masturbate. Truth or lie”, I shrug. So-Yo falls to her knees laughing. That bitch knows it’s true. There are mixed reactions around the room. Wonpil is blushing more than me, nearly turning as red as our cups. Dowoon didn’t understand the question so Jae explained it to him in Korean, resulting in him taking a huge gulp of his drink. Brian taps his leg nervously. Jae squints at me, trying to see through my poker face. Jokes on him, I can’t lie to save my life and today they’re going to learn that. Sungjin just does his iconic “what the fuck did I just hear” look at So-Yo, who is still on the floor laughing, this time nearly crying.

“Is it the truth or is it a lie?”, I ask the room.

“Which songs?”, Jae incites more information.

“Which songs I play? Well, Shoot Me, Time of Our Life, Dance Dance, I Wait, How Can I Say, Chocolate, I can say more if you want”, I list.

“Oh, it’s definitely a lie, you can’t masturbate to those songs”, Jae shakes his head.

“I didn’t say I masturbate to those songs, I play those songs in the background”, I explain.

“Dowoon?”, I ask for his answer.

“Truth”, he hesitates.

“I’m saving you for last, everyone is just going to copy you”, I point to So-Yo.

“Sungjin?”, I gesture to the sweet teddy bear who desperately wants to give me the disappointed dad face.

“Lie”, he shakes his head, sipping his drink.

“Lie”, Wonpil avoids eye contact with me. That poor boy must be dying of embarrassment. I guess he doesn’t want to accept that I listen to his singing while I pleasure myself. Oh well.

“Brian?”, I twiddle my thumbs.

“Lie”, he smirks at me. Sucker.

“So-Yo, what is it, truth or lie?”, I point to my best girl.

“It’s the fucking truth! Drink up!”, So-Yo cheers. Everyone exclaims their non-belief.

“She’s my roommate, you don’t think I won’t notice that shit? Let’s just say, she’s not quiet”, she teases before sipping her drink. I gasp. Jae and Brian look at me, wondering what I’m going to say next. 

Realizing I completely embarrassed myself, I scurry out of the room. I should just go. I lost my chance, I should’ve just stayed home. I fight the urge to cry as I run to the bathroom. My hands grip onto the sink, having water run to fade out the noises of me almost crying. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. I didn’t realize how tipsy I am till I look at my hands and notice how much I’m swaying. I should just go home and sleep, forget this night happened.

I hear a knock on the door. I fan myself to dry any tears.

“Yes?”, I ask, hoping my voice didn’t crack. The door creaks open.

“Marcy. It’s just me”, Brian whispers. I turn my back to him.

“I could be peeing, what the fuck”, I laugh, wiping tears off my cheek. Brian closes the door behind him.

“I learned that you can’t lie. Also, you would’ve actually yelled at me if you were”, he laughs before hugging me from behind. His arms wrapped around me makes me feel so secure and safe.

“Talk to me”, Brian whispers, putting his head on my shoulder.

“Did I fuck myself up by telling you guys about the thing?”, I hesitate.

“Don’t overthink it. It’s flattering, actually”, he chuckles. Thinking of him taking this as a compliment makes me giggle. Of course, out of all people, confident Brian would take this differently. Or he’s just saying this to make me smile.

“Let’s go swimming. We all need to cool off”, he squeezes me tighter. I grab his forearm and rub my thumb against his skin.

“Thank you”, I whisper. His heartbeat pounds against my back.

“We’re all friends here”, he mumbles. He kisses my head and storms out of the bathroom. First, he puts his hand on my back, calls me cute, comforts me in the bathroom, and now he kisses my head! I may be a dumb bitch, but I’m not that dumb.

Where did So-Yo put my bag? I peak my head out of the door, hoping to see it close by. I notice Sungjin and So-Yo sitting in the couch, giving each other googly eyes, already dressed in their swimsuits. Gross, but I love them so much. I find my bag by the corner of the hallway where the bathroom is. I manage to snag it without being noticed.

I change into my swimsuit, feeling more vulnerable. Stepping out of the bathroom, I’m welcomed by So-Yo.

“I got more tea”, she whispers. I’m all here for the tea!

“I know the two who were bickering”, she recalls the conversation from earlier.

“One of them has to be Brian, we just had a moment in the bathroom”, I gesture a hug.

“Oh”, So-Yo eyes widen. Oh?! Is one of them not Brian?!

“Do you like Brian?”, she mouths. I blush.

“Maybe I do?”, I shrug.

“That’s a yes”, she smiles at me.

“Why, who’s the other person?”, I slightly panic.

“You really haven’t noticed the way Jae looks at you?”, she expresses her shook face. I grab the door frame beside me.

“What?!”, I exclaim. 

Sungjin walks in and gathers us to join the rest of the group at the front door. Brian raises his eyebrows, seeing me in my bikini for the first time. Wonpil’s eyes widen. Jae does a little shuffle in place, trying not to look at me. Looking at these boys in their swim shorts makes me want to audibly whine “why the fuck are you all so pretty?!”. Why the fuck do they all look so good? To stop myself from staring, I keep my eyes on So-Yo. Sungjin hands So-Yo and I some towels and leads all of us to the pool on the roof. I leave my phone to charge, also to not get it wet.

It’s Jae and Brian that like me? No fucking way. Brian is at least flirty, Jae hasn’t shown any sign of him liking me. Oh shit. I forgot about the late night texting of random shit, shower thoughts type of dumb topics. I am truly a dumb bitch.

We get to the pool and it’s deserted. Jae swoops me in his arms and carries me to the edge of the pool.

“Jae!”, I squeal, terrified of him dropping me.

“I’m not going to drop you”, he cackles.

“Good”, I huff.

“I’m taking both of us in”, he shouts before jumping into the pool. I splash at him when we get to the surface. Everyone joins in on their own. Brian giving an expressionless face. Oh no, does he think I like Jae? Wait, do I like Jae? I swim to So-Yo. I try to be quiet enough for Sungjin to not notice.

“What do you mean by the way he looks at me?”, I whisper.

“He looks at you like you two are in a fucking Disney film”, she scoffs.

“Do you like him?”, she continues.

“I don’t know” I mumble.

“You’re still wondering who likes you?”, Sungjin chuckles. I shush him, trying to not catch the others attention.

“She knows it’s Brian and Jae. She can’t pick which one she likes”, So-Yo informs him. He gives me his “I really want to give you advice” look.

“It’s ok if you don’t know right away. When you know, you just have to talk to them”, he shrugs. I groan.

“That’s the hard part”, I mouth.

“Take each of them out on a date. See who you like more”, she suggests. This is getting overwhelming.

“A date?”, I exhale. I hear Brian call for me from a distance. So-Yo nods at me while I swim to the direction of his voice. Brian is sitting at the shallow end with the rest of the guys.

“We want to get to know you some more”, Jae grins at me. Oh Lord, they know I masturbate with their songs playing in the background and they still want to know me? Fuck. Maybe I am a delight.

“What do you want to know?”, I nervously rub my hands together.

“What was the weirdest nickname you ever had?”, Jae takes over with the questions.

“Weirdest nickname. I don’t know what would be considered weird”, I wonder.

“Tell them about Strawberry!”, So-Yo shouts, slowly swimming her way to us.

“Strawberry?”, Wonpil asks.

“Oh, goodness”, I laugh, hiding my face.

“Tell us about Strawberry”, Brian looks at me, eager to know.

“So, when I was really little, I really liked this boy. Probably my first crush. One day, he confronted me about my crush because his friends were teasing him about it. I was blushing so hard that my face was all pink, and back then, my freckles were more noticeable, so the boy told me I looked like a strawberry. Some kids overheard and proceeded to call me Strawberry. The name stuck all throughout my school years, it fucking sucked but looking back at it now, it’s cute. I don’t mind it anymore”, I share. Everyone was all awing my story.

Sungjin runs out of the pool and rushes downstairs. So-Yo reminded him about our food, that’s why. He gets back to the roof and tells us food is ready. We all groan about leaving the pool so early, but there’s food, we can’t complain too much.

We go back to the apartment and stuff our faces with food, sobering up pretty quickly. We exchange some stories, some laughs. So-Yo turns on a movie to keep us occupied till we get tired. 

Sungjin was nice enough to tell us we’re staying the night, there was no way we were going to go back home in our condition. Brian offers his bed for me, saying he’ll take the couch. What a gentleman.

After the movie, it’s time for all of us to go get some sleep. Dowoon stays up to play some video games. Wonpil gives me a hug goodnight, which is shocking, and heads to his room. Sungjin and So-Yo head to his room, waving good-bye, while So-Yo gives me a wink. Jae hands me my phone that I nearly forgot about, for once.

“Night, Strawberry”, he sticks out his tongue. I pretend to hit him with my phone. He dramatically flails in pain as he goes to his room. Then there’s just Brian and I. He escorts me to his room. He digs around his closet and tosses me a t-shirt.

“It’s good to sleep comfortably”, he smiles. I look at the shirt, loving the material. It’s a simple white tee but the material is soft and smells beautiful. I grab my bag and pull out my extra panties so I won’t have to wear dirty underwear to bed. Brian notices the panties and blushes. I don’t recall him ever being flustered.

“Thank you so much for tonight. We should do this more often”, I sigh.

“We should. Sweet dreams, Marcy”, he bows his head and leaves his room, giving me privacy to change. I strip out of my swimsuit and into this heavenly shirt and clean panties. Fuck, I love this shirt. I take a whiff of the scent and holy shit I’m swooning. It smells like his cologne, but also smells clean, basically smells like boy.

I crawl into bed, absorbing myself in his soft sheets. I imagine him sleeping in this bed and it brings butterflies to my stomach. I hear a knock on the door.

“It’s your girl”, So-Yo whispers before opening the door. I wrap myself like a burrito.

“You’re loving his bed without him in it? That’s sad”, she cackles. I shush her to keep quiet.

“I can call him in, he’ll be happy to be here seeing you be a caterpillar”, she giggles.

“Do it, you won’t”, I groan at her before I spread out the blanket. I turn off the light so I can actually sleep. So-Yo didn’t close the door, that monster. Whatever, I’ll sleep through it. I roll around to find the best position to sleep.

There’s another knock on my door. I grunt to show a lack of interest in talking. I didn’t hear anything afterwards, it must’ve been my imagination. I feel a dip in the mattress.

“It’s just me”, Brian whispers, scaring the shit out of me. I flip over and see him perfectly from the moonlight glistening him.

“Holy shit, she did call you in”, I mumble. He chuckles under his breath.

“May I?”, he lightly tugs on the blanket. Don’t have to ask me twice! I flip open the blanket for him to crawl inside.

“Can we snuggle? You can say no”, I test the waters.

“You don’t have to ask”, he cackles before taking me in his arms. Fuck, I really needed this. In this snuggle party: I’m on my side, facing him, while he lays on his back, one arm supporting my head and the other is wrapped around my waist. Out of impulse, I put my leg against his, almost putting it between them. My silky smooth leg low-key rubs against his leg hair. Wait, is he wearing just his underwear? Dare I check?

“Are you just wearing your underwear?”, I mumble.

“Shorts”, he whispers.

“Are you wearing just your underwear?”, he turns the direction to me. His heart is nearly pounding out of his chest. It’s interesting that he gives off his confident exterior, but his heartbeat says otherwise.

“We’re not talking about me here”, I tease. He combs his fingers through my hair.

“Thank you for being comfortable with me”, he whispers. His voice is different. Not the cute, handsome voice that I’m used to. This voice is deeper, solem almost. My hands were wrapped around myself to be a little mummy, but I slowly unraveled to place one hand on his chest and the other rubbing my knuckles on his cheek. How am I nervous around you, but am still so comfortable? I can still see him perfectly from the illumination of the moonlight. He’s even more handsome than I could imagine.

“Brian”, I hesitate. He turns his head and gives me a peck on the lips. I lay there speechless over him taking the plunge that I was going to do.

“You do look like a strawberry when you blush like that”, he scrunches his face. I grab his face and kiss him back. He pulls me by the waist to get on top of him. I sit on his lap, loving the loose clothing keeping us from touching skin to skin. I continue kissing him, slowly rolling my hips. He grabs my hips and guides me to a perfect rhythm. His dick gets hard in seconds, teasing me from how close it is to me.

“Oh, fuck”, he moans.

“You feel so good”, he whispers.

“Do I?”, I tease. I put my hand under my crotch to palm him through his shorts. His moans turn into a raspy growl. He flips me over so that I’m on my back, having him hover above me. His hand goes straight to my folds, his index finger doing a long strip along me. I groan from the contact. His mouth latches to my neck, ferociously kissing and sucking, as if he’s hungry for this. His heavy petting is making me weak. I continue to palm him, feeling his dick twitch from my contact.

“You’re already so wet for me. Fuck”, he moans against my skin.

“Brian, please”, I manage to speak.

“Tell me what you want, baby”, his voice deepens.

“I want you”, I whine. He bites down on my neck, definitely going to leave a visible mark that will be noticeable in the morning. He slams his clothed dick on me, rubbing himself against my wet panties.

“How do you want me?”, he continues. His pace quickens.

“I want you inside of me”, I moan in his ear. He groans and pulls himself away from me entirely, sitting beside me with his knees to his chest.

“No, not like this”, he brushes his hair back, wiping the sweat off his forehead. I sit up and nudge his arm.

“What’s wrong?”, I mumble, trying to keep my composure.

“You’re my friend. Friends don’t do this”, he pants.

“Brian”, I grab his hand.

“I just need some time. I know I like you, I like you so much, I just need some time to know if I want a relationship yet”, he confesses. I’m still compiling what the fuck just happened, but I’m flexible.

“I understand”, I smile. He’s very open with me about his past relationships, which I am very thankful for.

“If you don’t want to wait, I understand”, Brian starts to ramble. I never saw him like this, collapsing. He always looked to have his shit together, but seeing him this way, being human who can break, is cleansing. I squeeze his hand to get his attention.

“Let’s just get some sleep. We can talk about this later, alright?”, I suggest. He nods and lays back down.

“Would you still want to cuddle?”, he murmurs. I get all snuggly in his arms.

“You don’t have to ask”, quoting him from earlier.

“We have a small concert tomorrow night if you want to come. We snagged a ticket in case you weren’t busy”, he invites. I bury my face in his chest.

“I’d love to finally see you perform live”, I scrunch my face.

“Perfect”, he chuckles before getting into a deep sleep.

There’s no fucking way So-Yo is going to believe this shit. No, no, I shouldn’t tell her, not till him and I talk for real about what’s going to happen with us.

He looks like such an angel, doesn’t even snore. I hope we can move on from this, my feelings for him become even more clear, reflecting on how he was with me earlier tonight and just now. I wonder what he has in mind for our conversation.

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

10th March >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Wednesday, Third Week of Lent - Proper Readings

(see also The Samaritan Woman)

(Liturgical Colour: Violet)

First Reading

Deuteronomy 4:1,5-9

Keep these laws and observe them

Moses said to the people:    ‘Now, Israel, take notice of the laws and customs that I teach you today, and observe them, that you may have life and may enter and take possession of the land that the Lord the God of your fathers is giving you.    ‘See, as the Lord my God has commanded me, I teach you the laws and customs that you are to observe in the land you are to enter and make your own. Keep them, observe them, and they will demonstrate to the peoples your wisdom and understanding. When they come to know of all these laws they will exclaim, “No other people is as wise and prudent as this great nation.” And indeed, what great nation is there that has its gods so near as the Lord our God is to us whenever we call to him? And what great nation is there that has laws and customs to match this whole Law that I put before you today?    ‘But take care what you do and be on your guard. Do not forget the things your eyes have seen, nor let them slip from your heart all the days of your life; rather, tell them to your children and to your children’s children.’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 147:12-13,15-16,19-20

R/ O praise the Lord, Jerusalem!

O praise the Lord, Jerusalem!    Zion, praise your God! He has strengthened the bars of your gates    he has blessed the children within you.

R/ O praise the Lord, Jerusalem!

He sends out his word to the earth    and swiftly runs his command. He showers down snow white as wool,    he scatters hoar-frost like ashes.

R/ O praise the Lord, Jerusalem!

He makes his word known to Jacob,    to Israel his laws and decrees. He has not dealt thus with other nations;    he has not taught them his decrees.

R/ O praise the Lord, Jerusalem!

Gospel Acclamation

John 8:12

Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God! I am the light of the world, says the Lord; anyone who follows me will have the light of life. Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God!

Or:

cf. John 6:63,68

Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God! Your words are spirit, Lord, and they are life; you have the message of eternal life. Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God!

Gospel

Matthew 5:17-19

I have not come to abolish the Law and the Prophets but to complete them

Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Do not imagine that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets. I have come not to abolish but to complete them. I tell you solemnly, till heaven and earth disappear, not one dot, not one little stroke, shall disappear from the Law until its purpose is achieved. Therefore, the man who infringes even one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be considered the least in the kingdom of heaven; but the man who keeps them and teaches them will be considered great in the kingdom of heaven.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

--------------------------------------------------------

The Samaritan Woman

(Liturgical Colour: Violet)

First Reading

Exodus 17:1-7

Strike the rock, and water will flow from it

The whole community of the sons of Israel moved from their camp in the desert of Zin at the Lord’s command, to travel the further stages; and they pitched camp at Rephidim where there was no water for the people to drink. So they grumbled against Moses. ‘Give us water to drink’ they said. Moses answered them. ‘Why do you grumble against me? Why do you put the Lord to the test?’ But tormented by thirst, the people complained against Moses. ‘Why did you bring us out of Egypt?’ they said. ‘Was it so that I should die of thirst, my children too, and my cattle?’ Moses appealed to the Lord.    ‘How am I to deal with this people?’ he said. ‘A little more and they will stone me!’ The Lord said to Moses, ‘Take with you some of the elders of Israel and move on to the forefront of the people; take in your hand the staff with which you struck the river, and go. I shall be standing before you there on the rock, at Horeb. You must strike the rock, and water will flow from it for the people to drink.’ This is what Moses did, in the sight of the elders of Israel. The place was named Massah and Meribah because of the grumbling of the sons of Israel and because they put the Lord to the test by saying, ‘Is the Lord with us, or not?’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 94(95):1-2,6-9

R/ O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’

Come, ring out our joy to the Lord;    hail the rock who saves us. Let us come before him, giving thanks,    with songs let us hail the Lord.

R/ O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’

Come in; let us bow and bend low;    let us kneel before the God who made us: for he is our God and we    the people who belong to his pasture,    the flock that is led by his hand.

R/ O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’

O that today you would listen to his voice!    ‘Harden not your hearts as at Meribah,    as on that day at Massah in the desert when your fathers put me to the test;    when they tried me, though they saw my work.’

R/ O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’

Gospel Acclamation

John 8:12

Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God! I am the light of the world, says the Lord; anyone who follows me will have the light of life. Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God!

Or:

cf. John 6:63,68

Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God! Your words are spirit, Lord, and they are life; you have the message of eternal life. Glory to you, O Christ, you are the Word of God!

Gospel

John 4:5-42

A spring of water welling up to eternal life

Jesus came to the Samaritan town called Sychar, near the land that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well is there and Jesus, tired by the journey, sat straight down by the well. It was about the sixth hour. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, ‘Give me a drink.’ His disciples had gone into the town to buy food. The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘What? You are a Jew and you ask me, a Samaritan, for a drink?’ – Jews, in fact, do not associate with Samaritans. Jesus replied:

‘If you only knew what God is offering and who it is that is saying to you: Give me a drink, you would have been the one to ask, and he would have given you living water.’

‘You have no bucket, sir,’ she answered ‘and the well is deep: how could you get this living water? Are you a greater man than our father Jacob who gave us this well and drank from it himself with his sons and his cattle?’ Jesus replied:

‘Whoever drinks this water will get thirsty again; but anyone who drinks the water that I shall give will never be thirsty again: the water that I shall give will turn into a spring inside him, welling up to eternal life.’

‘Sir,’ said the woman ‘give me some of that water, so that I may never get thirsty and never have to come here again to draw water.’ ‘Go and call your husband’ said Jesus to her ‘and come back here.’ The woman answered, ‘I have no husband.’ He said to her, ‘You are right to say, “I have no husband”; for although you have had five, the one you have now is not your husband. You spoke the truth there.’ ‘I see you are a prophet, sir’ said the woman. ‘Our fathers worshipped on this mountain, while you say that Jerusalem is the place where one ought to worship.’ Jesus said:

‘Believe me, woman, the hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know: for salvation comes from the Jews. But the hour will come – in fact it is here already – when true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth: that is the kind of worshipper the Father wants. God is spirit, and those who worship must worship in spirit and truth.’

The woman said to him, ‘I know that Messiah – that is, Christ – is coming; and when he comes he will tell us everything.’ ‘I who am speaking to you,’ said Jesus ‘I am he.’    At this point his disciples returned, and were surprised to find him speaking to a woman, though none of them asked, ‘What do you want from her?’ or, ‘Why are you talking to her?’ The woman put down her water jar and hurried back to the town to tell the people. ‘Come and see a man who has told me everything I ever did; I wonder if he is the Christ?’ This brought people out of the town and they started walking towards him.    Meanwhile, the disciples were urging him, ‘Rabbi, do have something to eat; but he said, ‘I have food to eat that you do not know about.’ So the disciples asked one another, ‘Has someone been bringing him food?’ But Jesus said:

‘My food is to do the will of the one who sent me, and to complete his work. Have you not got a saying: Four months and then the harvest? Well, I tell you: Look around you, look at the fields; already they are white, ready for harvest! Already the reaper is being paid his wages, already he is bringing in the grain for eternal life, and thus sower and reaper rejoice together. For here the proverb holds good: one sows, another reaps; I sent you to reap a harvest you had not worked for. Others worked for it; and you have come into the rewards of their trouble.’

Many Samaritans of that town had believed in him on the strength of the woman’s testimony when she said, ‘He told me all I have ever done’, so, when the Samaritans came up to him, they begged him to stay with them. He stayed for two days, and when he spoke to them many more came to believe; and they said to the woman, ‘Now we no longer believe because of what you told us; we have heard him ourselves and we know that he really is the saviour of the world.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[iicewitch]

☀️ cult of dionysus

a playlist for my friend caz link to playlist: here tracklist and favorite lyrics below

1. only as good as my god - everything everything And on the steps of my church There, I'm chasing down a red girl with my hooves upon a- Ooh - Wild Ooh - Child If they crawl out of the mud Wash them away in a flood I'm only as good as my god Burnt hair and more money 2. disciples - captain murphy Don't you want devoted followers? Who leave their families for you Give their money to you Give their bodies to you Give up their lives for you Consider you God, and will kill for you Don't you want to become a cult leader? Since the death of God there has been a vacancy open You can fill that void, here is how 3. dionysus - bts Just get drunk like Dionysus Drink in one hand, Thyrsus on the other Art splashing inside this clear crystal cup Art is alcohol too, if you can drink it, you'll get drunk fool I'm now in front of the door to the world The cheers I hear when I get up on stage Can’t you see my stacked broken thyrsus At last I’m reborn 4. good hand - turbowolf And I say No pain, no gain That's the mantra I'm repeating No sun, no rain That's the mantra I'm repeating No pain, no gain, no sun, no No pain, no gain, no sun, no rain 5. addicted to love - robert palmer Your lights are on, but you're not home Your will is not your own You're heart sweats and teeth grind Another kiss and you'll be mine 6. cult of dionysus - the orion experience Or start a secret society for the wild and free Our ideology is "You can do what you want Too much is never enough" We are the Life, we are the light We are the envy of the Gods above 7. hitting on all sevens - lyndon smith Make of me a subject caste Pressed and kept beneath thy glass Every heart thy sent in heaven Always hitting on all sevens One by one as ordered Flank to flank and facing forward Hanging by the word In chapter, verse and sentence heard 8. touch tone telephone - lemon demon Don't hang up yet, I'm not done I'm an expert, I'm the one The one who was right all along Better to be laughed at than wrong I'm an expert in my field UFOlogy, yes, it's all real Ancient aliens, it's all true I'm an expert just like you 9. sundial - lemon demon Don't mind me, I've just got some problems to work out I'm only passing through or maybe just right out Somehow something set my sundial backwards tilted and upside-down Now the shadow hand is pointing time right out of town I don't remember what it is that I just said to you I've got Anubis on my back and something in my shoe 10. mother’s talk - tears for fears It's not that you're not good enough It's just that we can make you better Given that you pay the price We can keep you young and tender Following in the footsteps of a funeral pyre You were paid not to listen now your house is on fire 11. light up the night - the protomen There is a city that this darkness can't hide. There are the embers of a fire that's gone out, But I can still feel the heat on my skin. This mess we're in, well you and I, Maybe you and I, We can light up the night. 12. pure morning - placebo A friend in need's a friend indeed, A friend who'll tease is better, Our thoughts compressed, Which makes us blessed, And makes for stormy weather, 13. aspiring fires - mother mother Baby, so you think you know crazy I think you know what you know, But what you know you don't know for sure A little advice for aspiring fires You'll get put out if you don't get a little wild Try again, try again, it ain't right You don't got the due diligence to lose your mind You're not getting it right 14. oh ana - mother mother I'll play god I'll play god I'll play god I'll play god today Ante up and play that god a poker game Walk away with all our little God's spare change Playing this god it can't be good for— Ana's safety, Ana hear me ! 15. this devil’s workday - modest mouse So I ate the wedding cake 'til the whole damn thing was gone. And I'm gonna drown the ocean. Now ain't none o' that so wrong? I could buy myself a reason. I could sell myself a job. I could hang myself on treason. Oh I am my own damn god. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha 16. kiss me son of god - they might be giants I look like Jesus, so they say But Mr. Jesus is very far away Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true That you love me and I love me And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God" Yes a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God" 17. personal jesus - depeche mode Take second best Put me to the test Things on your chest You need to confess I will deliver You know I'm a forgiver 18. charlie’s inferno - that handsome devil Catch you later, I'm off to see the man upstairs They all look like ants from here Stars and crystal chandeliers Excuse me, sir! There must be someone you've confused me for If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform I go to church on sunday, truly, usually more! Screaming at the angels while they pushed him through the door! 19. old 45s - chromeo Don't wanna settle Or didn't you get the memo You only get a date if you're walking in stilettos This is enough to drive you mad If you think romance is dead and gone Find an old jukebox full of 45's Pop a nickel in it and it all comes back 20. down at the midnight rectory - ted neeley Down, down, down at the midnight rectory! With jiggle juice frisking under the marquee! The peacocks are strutting behind velvet ropes, Sipping away on their heavenly dope. Gimme two alleluia's and an amen! 21. elevate - dj khalil Can't stop me, can't break me (can't break) What don't kill me, gon' make me (gon' make) Shoot for the stars, no safety (no safety) And now I see clear in HD 'Cause I win, over and over again Battlin' evil, I'm hopin' to win Fightin' my demons, I'm nice for a reason Enticed with the bleedin', I'm showin' my sins 22. come along - cosmo sheldrake We'll dance and sing 'til sundown And feast with abandon We'll sleep when the morning comes And we'll rise by the sound of the birdsongs We'll be here when the world slows down And the sunbeams fade away Keeping time by a pendulum As the fabric starts to fray 23. just one yesterday - fall out boy I thought of angels Choking on their halos Get them drunk on rose water See how dirty I can get them Pulling out their fragile teeth And clip their tiny wings If heaven's grief brings hell's rain Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday 24. church - fall out boy And if death is the last appointment Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom If you were church, yeah I'd get on my knees Confess my love, I'd know where to be My sanctuary, you're holy to me 25. beast dance - kurage p Cast aside your humanity, before you have to grovel on the ground, being at the bottom of society. You want to be loved? In that case, come on. ”Roar roar roar roar roar roar” Inside the cage, ‘kay? 26. black and white - MASA Pour the gospel echoing through the world into your glass. Black&White! Practice your faith through shots and prayers. Open the bottle. Black&White! 27. sister’s mercy - hitoshizuku-p Jesus!! Pray and pray Believer, if you demand for salvation Oh Yeah!! Then pay up more and more for this Bright Red, now! Cheers!! Pour and pour When you’ve filled your stomach with this bright Red, Aa! All your wishes will come true 28. inferno pt. 2 - the buttress The depth of my breadth is unmet I'm becoming unraveled on the road less traveled I know Jesus wept But I abhor the Lord Fell on my sword Forever slept 29. let’s just live - casey lee williams Let's just live Just one day Let's forget about our problems Let's fall in love with life And just be free The sun will never fade The night won't steal our day Let's dance and laugh and love And let's just live 30. ignite - casey lee williams Fool, you shouldn't stare into these eyes of fire You're goin' to regret this little fight You don't wanna mess with me, I'm something higher You'll watch yourself suffer You'll watch me ignite 31. god’s gonna cut you down - johnny cash Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand Workin' in the dark against your fellow man But as sure as God made black and white What's down in the dark will be brought to the light 32. royals - lorde Let me be your ruler (Ruler) You can call me queen bee And baby, I'll rule (I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule) Let me live that fantasy 33. you should see me in a crown - billie eilish Count my cards, watch them fall Blood on a marble wall I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by one by, one One by one by You should see me in a crown 34. rev 22:20 - puscifer Pray til I go blind (Pray) Pray cause no one ever survives Prayin' to stay in her arms just to die longer Satyrs and saints, devils and heathens and lies 35. this must be the place - talking heads Home, is where I want to be But I guess I'm already there I come home, she lifted up her wings I guess that this must be the place I'm just an animal looking for a home and Share the same space for a minute or two And you love me till my heart stops Love me till I'm dead 36. razzle dazzle -  richard gere Give 'em the old razzle dazzle Razzle Dazzle 'em Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it And the reaction will be passionate Give 'em the old hocus pocus Bead and feather 'em How can they see with sequins in their eyes? 37. you’ll be back - jonathan groff You say our love is draining and you can't go on You'll be the one complaining when I am gone And no, don't change the subject 'Cause you're my favorite subject My sweet, submissive subject My loyal, royal subject Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever 38. no light, no light - florence and the machine No light, no light in your bright blue eyes I never knew daylight could be so violent A revelation in the light of day You can't choose what stays and what fades away 'Cause it's so easy, To say it to a crowd But it's so hard, my love, To say it to you out loud 39. shiny happy people - r.e.m Meet me in the crowd, people, people Throw your love around, love me, love me Take it into town, happy, happy Put it in the ground where the flowers grow Gold and silver shine Shiny happy people holding hands Shiny happy people holding hands Shiny happy people laughing 40. a good song never dies - saint motel There was a moment, a hole opened in the sky A chance to join that pantheon For all the times they never heard your battle cry Now be an angel, sing along 'Cause a good song never dies It just reminds you of where you were The first time it made you cry The first time you felt alive 41. king of the clouds - panic at the disco Some only live to die, I'm alive to fly higher Than angels in outfields inside of my mind I'm ascendin' these ladders, I'm climbin', say goodbye This old world, this old world I don't trust anything Or anyone, below the sun I don't feel anything At all 42. battle for the sun - placebo I, I, I will battle for the sun, sun, sun, sun And I, I, I, I am the bones you couldn't break Break, break, break, break, break, break, break 43. walk like an egyptian - the bangles All the school kids so sick of books They like the punk and the metal band When the buzzer rings (oh whey oh) They're walking like an Egyptian All the school kids so sick of books They like the punk and the metal band When the buzzer rings (oh whey oh) They're walking like an Egyptian 44. credens justitiam - yuriko kaida and eri itoh Free, they are With no malice they sing quietly And they told me that my song was louder/lighter Their song Releases the day of all malice I want to be like them And my mind (their minds are) Free 45. 99.9 - mob choir The protagonist of this stage is me Cryin' my life, cryin' my psyche Cryin' my heart in such commonplaces Is this my ideal? Is this my mind? Ahh, I’m looking for the answer ! 46. cruel angels thesis - yoko takahasi But someday you will notice On those shoulders of yours There are strong wings To guide you to the far future. If there is any meaning In the fate that pulled us together, Then I am, yes, the Bible That teaches you of freedom. A cruel angel's thesis And then sorrow comes forth 47. peace and love on the planet earth - zach callison I guess we're already here I guess we already know We've all got something to fear We've all got nowhere to go I think you're all insane! But I guess I am too Is there anything that's worth more? Is there anything that's worth more? Is there anything that's worth more Than peace and love on the planet Earth? 48. now we can see - the thermals We were born in the desert We were reared in a cave We conquered in the sun but we lived in the shade We were born on an island we grew out of the sand Never saw another creature never knew another man 49. love today - mika I said Everybody's gonna love today Gonna love today, gonna love today I said Everybody's gonna love today Gonna love today Anyway you want to, anyway you've got to Love, love me, love, love me, love, love 50. where is my mind? - the pixies With your feet on the air and your head on the ground Try this trick and spin it, yeah Your head will collapse If there's nothing in it And you'll ask yourself .. Where is my mind? Where is my mind?