#may watch austins new movie tonight as a treat
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very excited to finish my multi i wanna write again
#jason on the brain#may watch austins new movie tonight as a treat#but i also know. i Shouldn't until the blogs ready bc it'll make jason muse skyrocket
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got roundaboutly tagged by @agaricales :D thank youuuu! hope you don’t mind that i stole your little idea to draw myself and my shitty hair hahah :3 i almost never draw myself so this was a nice reason
Questions to get to know you a little better:
1. What do you prefer to be called name wise? Kelly’s my actual name, but I also go by Murphy and I have zero preference which you use (also shortened versions of either like Kel or Murph are also lovely) :D and it makes me giggle when people call me Lamp hehe
2. When is your birthday? Nov. 5th!
3. Where do you live? Austin, Texas
4. Three things I am doing right now? Fixing to watch Hannibal, drinking root beer, being kept company by my tiny kitty Lib
5. Four fandoms that have piqued my interest: Well, Metalocalypse of course. Hannibal is a new one I’m dipping my toe into. Don’t think I’ll do any art or fic, but I’ve been loving what I’ve seen and read so far. Detroit: Become Human was a huge one for me and I still love checking in on the fandom from time to time and getting nostalgic. Also tonight’s news activated my Mass Effect lust. Give to me all the hot aliens.
6. How has the pandemic been treating you? Uhhhhhhh yeah not great. 8)
7. Song(s) I can’t stop listening to: “Rule of Nines” by Spiritbox, her VOICE!!!!
8. Recommend a movie: Darren Aronofsky‘s The Fountain, this movie just Speaks to me like nothing else ever really has. I remember leaving the theatre feeling like I had been irreparably changed, and one of the friends I was with was like “well that was fucking stupid” and I was like hmmm :) really now :) and then like the next month we weren’t friends anymore kjgkdfgf funny how that happened
9. How old are you? 35... stick a fork in me, I’m done ;0;
10. School, university, occupation? Um none of the above? lmao covid took my job, know anyone who’s hiring at-home receptionists? dkfgdk I keep thinking I could go back to retail but we’re not in dire enough straits for that yet.
11. Do you prefer heat or cold? Cold usually but it depends. I like feeling warm but I HATE feeling hot and it’s a fine line.
12. Name one fact others may not know about you? Actually I think probably quite a few people know this, but I suck really bad at coming up with random facts about myself - I’m a wrestling nerd. Fucking love wrestling. I’ve been to dozens of shows, Raw, Smackdown, NXT, Ring of Honor a handful of times, and a few local shows because my brother’s old high school friend is a local indie wrestler. My favorite guy in the business right now is Hangman Adam Page (and yes, it’s partially because he’s fucking gorgeous)
13. Are you shy? Depends. There’s a lot of things I’m totally fine with doing and it can fool people into thinking I’m almost extroverted, but then like phone calls and knocks on the door literally break me out in a sweat and make my hands shake, and if I hang out with people I need like a week to recover, so... lmao
14. Preferred pronouns: she/her
15. Biggest pet peeves: this is an IRL thing, but I have some audio processing shit going on, and then on top of that I fucked up my hearing in my right ear a bit at a Devin Townsend show a few years back (worth it? yes) and sometimes people’s voices can sound muddled if there’s other noises happening too. So it MAKES ME REAL MAD when people who KNOW THIS ABOUT ME will just go “no never mind it’s not important” when I ask them to repeat themselves.
16. What is your favorite "dere" type? Had to look some up and oh noooooo it’s a toss-up :O
The Hinedere (ひねデレ) type refers to characters who have cynical world views, are cold-hearted, and highly arrogant. However, deep down they have a soft side that may reveal itself after their love interest breaks through. (SOUND FAMILIAR LMAO)
The Byoukidere (病気デレ) type refers to a character who is kind and gentle at heart but has a serious illness. They might be confined to a hospital bed, or just simply weak and frail. (OH NO.... ;0;)
17. Rate your life 1-10? maybe a 6? 6.5?
18. What is your main blog? @gatsbygal it runs on a queue right now when i remember to fill it (I’m here too often to remember it hahah, but yeah if you wanna go look thru all my old bad art go right ahead)
19. List all your side blogs and what they’re for: ABSOLUTELY NOT LMAO i will admit to having a victor zsasz-related sideblog, a blog about a long-time fic i was writing where i’d answer reader’s questions and stuff, but uhhhhhh i have a few others that get to stay secret
20. Is there anything people should know before becoming friends with you? I’ve had people tell me I seemed intimidating at first and this has to be a problem with how I present myself online because people I know IRL consider me somewhere between a cupcake and an overcooked noodle :O maybe I say too many fuckworks and use too many exclamation marks or something haahha but I swear I’m not even remotely cool
#me#this was fun and now i have procrastinated enough#time to watch more hannibal hehe#BTW YOU'RE ALL TAGGED IF YOU WANNA DO THIS
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keep your chin up (someday there will be happiness again)
prompt fill for Anon: how about Stephen comforting Tony after a bad day and tony is just rly mad at himself for being stupid (in his opinion) and he wants to sleep but has nightmares and just needs a hug?
read it on AO3.
Stephen can’t help but smile when he hears the front door open. Tony had been at the compound for a couple of days, working hard on new prototype weapons and armor for the other Avengers. Once Tony got started on a project, it was hard to get him to stop.
After the defeat of Thanos a few years ago, Ross was able to negotiate terms with the Rogue Avengers to bring them out of hiding. There were months of long, boring meetings with representatives from countries around the world that had signed the Sokovia Accords to readjust the terms of the agreement with the Avengers’ help. Several times, Steve Rogers said something selfish that would set Tony off, and Stephen (who had started dating Tony not long after the battle on Titan) would have to step out of the room to avoid ripping his head off.
Stephen knew that Tony still had nightmares. Nightmares about the fight in Germany. Nightmares about the battle on Titan, of Thanos stabbing him with his own blade.
“Hi, babe. You’re a little later than expected,” Stephen greets as Tony shrugs off his jacket and tosses it over a chair. Stephen sets the spatula down and engulfs Tony in a hug, pressing a kiss to his temple. But, something seems off as they hug. Maybe it’s just in Stephen’s head, but he swears that Tony hesitates before wrapping his arms around Stephen, giving him a short squeeze.
“Hey,” Tony says, his voice tight.
Stephen’s brow furrows with concern immediately. He pulls away and gently takes Tony’s hands in his own. “Is something wrong?”
Tony sighs, pursing his lips together. “Just had a bad day, that’s all.”
There’s a tug at Stephen’s heart. After everything Tony has been through, he only deserves the best days, with hugs and laughter and light. With most of the Avengers staying at the compound now, he wonders whose room he’ll have to Portal into and threaten with mystic spells. ( Not that he’s done that before.)
Stephen smiles. “Well, dinner is almost ready. What do you say we eat, and then after dinner we drink some cheap wine and watch a terrible movie? I think we still have one more Austin Powers movie to watch.”
Tony shrugs. “First, we only have expensive wine in this house. Do you even know who I am?” Stephen chuckles lightly. “Second, no,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “My day was really terrible. I think I’m just gonna go to bed.”
Stephen frowns. “Okay, I'll turn off the stove and--”
“Stephen,” Tony interrupts, “I love you, but what I need now is a hot shower and alone time. Okay?”
He hates when Tony looks at him with That Look. A strange combination of sadness and desperation and disappointment. Stephen knows it isn’t directed at him, but he never likes seeing Tony like this.
“Okay. Just let me know if I can do anything.”
Tony offers him a weak smile. “You’re too good to me, you know that?” He steps forward and gives Stephen a quick kiss, grabs a glass of water, and heads to their room.
Stephen watches him as he goes, until he rounds the corner of the stairs and disappears from view. Then, he turns his attention back to the stir fry on the stove. He longs to help his husband, to figure out what’s bothering him and help him fix it. He wishes he could take all of Tony’s burdens from him and place them on his own shoulders.
Tony was so good. Too good for this world, truly. He doesn’t know how much he helped Stephen after his accident, after Dormammu, all of it.
After the defeat of Thanos, Stephen found himself longing to see the man again. One rainy night, just a couple of weeks after Titan, Stephen had made up his mind about going to the compound when there was a knock at the sanctum door. It was an emotional Tony, who told Stephen that Pepper had ended their relationship for good. Something about him never taking the suit off, despite her wishes. They ended up talking all night. Tony was like an open book, letting out all his pain and anxiety over a bottle of scotch. And surprisingly, Stephen, who took a long time to open up to new friends, found himself telling Tony about his trials as a Master of the Mystic Arts. He even told him about Dormammu, a subject he could barely bring himself to even think about but that plagued his dreams. Not to mention the horrors he was facing from other Masters, who were infuriated that he’d given up the Time Stone and wanted him stripped of his abilities (even though Stephen insisted he knew what he was doing, that giving up the Time Stone would allow Thanos to return to Earth, where Thor would behead him before he could snap his fingers).
That one night turned into coffee runs and dinners at local eateries, until Tony finally asked him to go on a real date. Stephen said yes embarrassingly quickly. Though they got off to a rough start, Iron Man was slowly capturing Stephen’s heart.
Is it odd that they bonded over similar tragedies, shared tragedies, and depressing life histories? Maybe. But Stephen knew from the moment Tony showed up on his doorstep that stormy night that he’d found a lifelong companion. They’d laughed and cried together, and now, five years later, they’re married and live in a lovely house on the lake (with nights spent between the compound and the sanctum). They have made so many wonderful memories together, but sometimes, days like this happen. Stephen hates it because most of the time, it’s Tony’s own inner critic who drags him down to this level.
Tony doesn’t know his own worth. And it sucks.
Stephen’s evening after that is fairly boring. He eats a little bit of dinner, serving Tony a bowl and covering it with foil for later (Tony sometimes snuck out of bed to eat in the middle of the night). Then, after an episode of Westworld, a quick Portal trip to the Sanctum to check in with Wong, and a couple hours of meditation, Stephen finally shuts off the lights downstairs and heads to bed.
As he’s brushing his teeth, he can’t help but stand in the bathroom doorway and stare at Tony’s sleeping figure in the bed. He hopes tonight is a nightmare-free and that Tony has a better day tomorrow. Then, he climbs into bed, gently kisses Tony’s cheek, and lets sleep overtake him.
Stephen wakes up to a trembling bed.
He frowns, his sleepy mind unsure what is happening, and turns to Tony, wondering if he’s feeling it too. He then realizes… Tony is causing the bed to shake, deep in sleep.
A nightmare.
A whimper escapes Tony’s lips as Stephen sits up, carefully shaking Tony awake. “Tony? Tony, wake up!” he says.
Suddenly, Tony bolts upright, almost knocking his head against Stephen’s, gasping for air. Unfortunately, this is a normal thing for both of them, so Stephen’s muscle memory kicks in naturally. He gently cups the sides of Tony’s face and turns his head so they face each other head on. “Breathe, Tony,” Stephen coaxes, his stomach tightening when he sees Tony’s eyes frantically darting around the room. “It’s okay, I’m here, just breathe.” Tony’s own hands clutch hard at Stephen’s wrists, but his breathing begins to slow. A few minutes later, he’s breathing normally again. Once he reassures Stephen that he's okay, Stephen readjusts the two of them so they’re leaning against the headboard, Tony’s head on Stephen’s shoulder, with Stephen’s arm draped protectively around him.
“I’m sorry,” Tony says eventually.
“You know you don’t have to apologize,” Stephen replies, kissing the top of Tony’s head. He lifts his hand and runs his trembling fingers through Tony's hair.
Silence passes over them as they stare out the window at the lake, the full moon’s light reflecting on the water’s surface.
“The kid and I got into a fight today,” Tony admits. “A bad one. That’s why I was upset earlier.”
Stephen frowns. “A fight?”
“Yeah,” Tony says. “Peter heard that Norman Osborn escaped from prison and wanted my help going after him. I told him he should be studying and not playing the hero all the time, especially since this guy almost killed him last time they fought. Things just… escalated from there, and he left. This nightmare that I had, he’d gone after him anyway and I didn’t know and… he didn’t…” Tony stops, swallowing.
“God, I’m such an idiot sometimes. I want to help the kid, but I don’t want him getting hurt. He tells me to stop treating him like a kid but, he’s my kid, you know? Am I being selfish? Am I an idiot?”
Stephen shakes his head. “You are the furthest thing from an idiot. Tony, you have to stop being so hard on yourself. You said it yourself, he’s your kid. Some things may have been said, but it’s nothing you two can’t get over. You’re like his Iron Dad or something.”
“Oh, shut up,” Tony says with a laugh, giving Stephen a shove. He’ll take it--anything to cheer his husband up. To Stephen, Tony’s laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world.
“I say you call him tomorrow, apologize, and talk it out. Hell, I can come too. You know he loves me,” Stephen says. “Everything will work out. I know it will. That kid is too smart to let an argument ruin what you have.”
A moment of silence passes over them.
“You’re the best, you know that?” Tony says.
“I do know that, but I could always use reassurance.”
Stephen can hear Tony’s eyes roll in the dark. “I can’t believe I fell in love with you.”
“I love you too,” Stephen says.
The two heroes lay like that for a few more minutes before crawling under the blankets, cuddling close. Stephen wraps an arm around Tony’s middle, pulling him close to his chest, and together they slowly drift into sleep again.
#ironstrange#Tony stark#Stephen strange#iron man#doctor strange#ironstrange fanfic#ironstrange fanfiction#strangeiron#my writing#my fics
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Thanks For Listening | Chapter Five (Finale)
Square: Free Space
Pairing: Sam x Reader
Words: 1,480
Warnings: hurt!Reader, pining, eventual smut, dirty talk, voice!kink, unprotected sex.
Summary: Sam hosts two podcasts - a secret one for hunters called the War Room and a public one with fellow hunter Y/N called Criminal History. Y/N and Sam have never seen each other, let alone met, but that doesn’t stop Sam from worrying when Y/N suddenly goes missing.
Betaed by @manawhaat
Written for @spnkinkbingo
Header by me and Mana
Masterlist - AO3
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You're woken by Sam's mouth leaving a trail of kisses across your shoulder. His body is spooned up behind your own, strong arms looped around your waist.
"Mmm, good morning, Chief," you sigh, turning to catch his lips in a soft kiss. You brush his hair back. "Didja sleep okay?"
"Always do when you're here," he says.
His mouth starts a journey along your jaw and down your throat, sending jolts of arousal through your core as it goes. You catch a glimpse of the clock on the nightstand, though, and reluctantly push Sam away. He pouts.
"We slept late," you explain. "If we want to get all the recording that we need to done, we gotta get going."
Sam groans but acquiesces. You both dress quickly before heading down to the bunker kitchen. You're glad Sam didn't go on his usual morning run and is here to guide you through the maze that is his home. Even after a month of staying in the bunker, you still get lost sometimes. Part of you feels like the bunker is a giant, ancient creature who just likes to mess with you, moving hallways around like the staircases in Hogwarts. Part of you thinks that's crazy. Then again, how crazy would it really be?
Sam's hand linking up with yours breaks your train of thought. He finds the kitchen with ease. Dean is already sitting at the table, armed with a mug of steaming coffee. He gives you both a little salute as you enter, clearly not quite awake yet.
Sam pours two mugs coffee while you start getting together the ingredients you both like in scrambled eggs.
"Sam, can you get the medium skillet down?" you ask, digging through a drawer in search of a few forks and a spatula.
"Anything for you," he replies, easily retrieving the pan in question from its hook above the center island. "Do you need butter to grease it?"
"Knew I was forgetting something. I think it's behind the leftover pizza."
Sam makes a face as he pulls the pizza in question from the fridge. "Dean, this is disgusting."
"Hey!" Dean protests as Sam tosses the pizza in the trash. "That was a perfectly good pizza!"
"Dean, that wasn't pizza. That was Darwinism."
You roll your eyes at their bickering, letting the obvious love between them warm your own heart. They may not have the healthiest relationship on the planet but it's clear to even you, a newcomer to their little bunker family, that there's nothing they wouldn't do for each other.
"Here ya go," Sam says, pulling you from your thoughts.
You take the stick of butter he's holding out, cutting off a chunk to grease the pan with. Dean got new pans recently - the old ones were, well, old - and he's extremely picky about what goes into them. Cooking spray specifically has been banned from the kitchen.
Sam returns the butter to the fridge and gets a small bowl from the top shelf of the cupboard without being asked.
"Mind reader," you tease, taking the bowl.
"Maybe I just know you really well." Sam presses a kiss to the top of your head.
"Ugh. Someone shoot me," Dean grumbles, though you know he doesn't mean any harm by it.
"Why?"
You glance over to see Jack standing on the top step, rubbing at his eyes in a way that makes him look just like the two-year-old he is. His golden locks are a tousled mess.
"Good morning, Jack," you say, beckoning him over. He comes willingly and you straighten his hair out with a few brushes of your fingers.
"Morning, Y/N." Jack eyes the eggs and such you have laid out. "Scrambled eggs?"
"Yep. Do you want some?"
He nods. "Yes, please. You make them the best."
"Excuse you." Dean clutches his chest dramatically.
"You make the best burgers," Jack says with the brutal honesty of a child. "But you always overcook eggs."
Dean sputters indignantly but doesn't form an actual reply.
"Get a few more eggs out," you tell Jack as you crack the first egg into the bowl.
While Jack gets his eggs, Sam sidles up behind you to curl his arms around your waist. He tucks his face down against the side of your neck with a happy sound.
"Hello," you laugh, reaching up with one hand to pat the side of his head. "You gonna be helpful and start cutting things up? Or are you just gonna hang all over me?"
Sam hums softly and presses a kiss over one of the many hickeys he left the night before. "I like it right here."
"I like it too," you reply, turning your head to catch his lips in a kiss. "But the sooner we eat, the sooner we start recording, the sooner we can get to… other things."
Sam's eyes darken with lust and his grip on you tightens a little. Pink tongue darts out to wet his lips.
"What other things?" Jack asks innocently, setting three more eggs next to the ones already on the counter.
Sam blushes, cute little splotches of red on the apples of his cheeks. "Um, we uh - we wanted to watch some TV."
"Oh!" Jack, of course, is totally oblivious. Thank God. "What're you gonna watch? Can I join you?"
You exchange a glance with Sam before answering, cracking more eggs into the bowl as you do. "Not tonight, Jack. We kinda want to just have a little night to ourselves. How about we watch a movie tomorrow night, though? We can even get some snacks and stuff."
Jack dimmed a little at your refusal but he brightens again once more when you suggest a movie night. "Okay! That sounds like fun."
You add milk and start mixing up the eggs, adding the other ingredients as you go. "Maybe Dean and you can go to town today for some movie treats."
"Can we?" Jack practically begs, whirling to face Dean where he still sits at the table.
"I suppose," Dean grumbles into his mug. "We're running low on toilet paper too so I was already planning on making a run. Should just do a full grocery run."
Jack does a little happy dance.
The eggs cook up quick and soon you're dividing them up onto three plates. Jack snatches his plate up, mumbling a "thank you" around a mouthful of food as he heads to the table.
"He's been spending too much time around Dean," Sam says for your ears only, his soft smile telling you that he really doesn't mind.
After breakfast, you and Sam fill your water bottles and head down to the office. This is quite possibly your favorite room in the whole bunker after Sam's room. You love the cozy lighting, Sam's dark wood desk, the "Quiet Please. Recording in Progress" sign above the door.
Sam has added a second desk so you have somewhere to do your own work from the podcast but you've decided to just share a microphone when you're together like this and you happily wheel your super comfy desk chair over to sit beside Sam.
"Got your notes ready?" Sam asks out of pure habit - he knows you always have them.
"Do you?" is your teasing response as you flip open your laptop and find the tab with your notes file.
Sam just chuckles, reaching over the arms of both chairs to weave your fingers together at the same time he flips on the sign outside the door. "Ready when you are."
"Start the recording, big guy."
He does just that and you see the waveform on the recording software begin. Both of you stay silent a moment and then Sam gives you a nod.
You lean in a little closer to the microphone, Sam mirroring you on the other side as you say, "I'm Y/N-"
"And I'm Chief-"
Your eyes meet his over the mic and he gives your hand a squeeze before you continue with, "And this is Criminal History."
Sam glances over at his notes. "Today we will be discussing the case of the Servant Woman Annihilator, a serial killer from early Austin, Texas that history has, for the most part, forgotten. Y/N, you travel a lot. Have you ever been to Austin?"
"I haven't," you answer honestly. "But I've heard great things and I really want to visit."
Sam's smile softens a little and he brings your hand to his lips. "Maybe we could visit together?"
Warmth fills you, starting in your chest and making its way out to the end of every finger and toe until it feels like your whole body is glowing. You have a feeling the two of you are going to be doing a lot of things together for a very long time and you can't wait.
"I would like that, Chief."
--
Like this fic? Support me longterm on Patreon HERE or make a one-time donation of Ko-Fi HERE
--
Team Forever: @mrswhozeewhatsis @books-and-icecream @laughing-at-the-darkness @tumbler-tidbits @imsuperawkward
Team Sam: @saxxxology
Team TFL: @wonderfulworldofwinchester @kickingitwithkirk @muchamusedaboutnothing @ellen-reincarnated1967 @linki-locks11 @sydneytea
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Internet and the Youth
The internet can be one’s friend along with someone’s mortal enemy. In today’s society, an individual can access the internet from almost anywhere. From the Himalayan mountains, to the city of San Francisco, if someone has a smartphone device or a GPS unit, there is access to the internet. With incidences and further research, we have found that with power, comes great responsibility, however the power has no true owner and it is getting a little out of hand. Today, I will be touching upon the ideology of mine v.s. ours, the lack of human touch, and modern parenting, or rather, the lack thereof.
There is a clear understanding that the internet belongs to no certain individual. Because of that, everyone is entitled to their own slice of the interweb. With that slice, the user has the artistic freedom to do whatever they want with it! This kind of mentality can be problematic as that slice of pie is public, and anyone on the internet can see what is going on. It raises question once you begin to, “...explore the extent to which that conduct is morally and ethically sensitive. That is, to what extent do our habits of connectivity coincide with an inclination to pursue our own agendas rather than increase our sensitivity to the perspectives of others and our attachment to communities? To what extent do we treat the Internet as my space versus our space?”(77). In regards to “my space”, I would like to first begin talking about Instagram influencers. Instagram is a great platform to share photos, quotes---really anything! Initially, the platform was used to share photos, but with creativity comes making things unique. In the sense of unique comes a certain breed of instagram users that go by the title, Instagram Influence. This title has good and bad connotations. It definitely pushes for a “my space” kind of format. If someone stumbles upon the influencer’s profile, there is a my way or the highway mentality. You can form your own opinions about that person, comment positive or negative thoughts, shoot them a follow, or even copy their style! At the end of the day, they post whatever gets them their fan base, and with more followers comes more money. As the youth, or even adults stumble upon these influencer accounts, there is a sense of wanting to belong, or perhaps an empty feeling of wanting to become as popular as that particular individual. Maybe that influencer sells sexual poses and dresses in black lingere, but hey, sex sells! Maybe you should give it a try. Maybe, JUST maybe, it will even make you new friends.
This mentality is nothing new! All ages have always had access to various influencers. The only difference is many of the influencers had a talent as opposed to being a rich trust fund baby and incredibly good looking. But hey, if you got it, flaunt it. It does however raise questions to our precious youth. One thing that the book did not cover is a “finsta”. This is where I believe the trouble truly lys. “Finstas” were created for a specific user base to see. Typically there is a photo of a fake user, there is a fake name, a fake bio, and the account is set to private. This makes it impossible for children’s parents to find the account, and also makes it easy to post whatever, and whenever they want! This allows the youth to be just like their instagram influencer without getting scolded by their parents or school. As a dance teacher, I have caught my students making these “finsta” accounts and posting provocative photos, posing inappropriately, and writing disgusting, bad language. All of which is unacceptable. In these cases, I cannot help but blame their parents for gifting them the expensive new iPhone as the children are not mature enough to use the tools at hand.
Next comes the loss of human touch---thanks to all of the lazy parents for this one. When I see a young adult with a child, and the child begins to cry, instead of tending to their child’s needs, they put a screen in front of their face. Whether it be an iPhone, iPad, or whatever other smart device it be, it is easier to distract the child with a t.v. episode or a game rather than deal with the issue in that instance person to person. We find that, “in accordance with J.L. Austin’s speech act theory, the deeper meaning behind our words--- the illocutionary dimension---can be lost when facial cues and intonation are absent. The intended effect on our audiences---the perlocutionarydimension---is therefore vulnerable. The use of emoticons (e.g., :) ), abbreviations (e.g., LOL, J/K), and other cues of intended tone and meaning can certainly help mitigate misinterpretations, but these markers are far from foolproof”(80). Human to human communication is being interfered by a screen. These emoticons and slang words are normalizing electronic communication and condoning hiding behind a screen. Secrets do not make friends, but communicating through a source such as instagram message or snap chat makes it much easier to hide messages from parents, or really anyone. Again, this is an issue. Not to mention, words shared electronically can be easily misinterpreted. A message such as, “Hey, want to come over tonight and watch a movie,” these days can be widely misinterpreted. I know I, for instance, went over to what I thought was a friend’s house to “hang out” when really he meant “hook up”. It made me feel uncomfortable and violated. Luckily, I am old enough to drive and brave enough to say no and leave. I cannot say the same for someone else put in a similar position.
Last but not least, I wanted to go over what it means to be a modern parent. Everyone always jokes around and talks about there not being a handbook to parenting. Every upbringing is different, and unfortunately there is no guidebook, but there is open communication and a set of rules that a parent can enforce from the get go. As I have worked with children for 12 years, I have met many parents with various parenting practices. I can agree that, “overall, adult conversations with youth often contribute to and strengthen the blind spots we often observed among youth. Thus, a key component of the ethics gap is the mentorship gap. Although parents and educators may be well-intentioned in their emphasis on personal safety, their over attention to such concerns leaves little room for discussions about ethics and social responsibility on the web may also result in insufficient support for youth to successfully utilize the great promises of the Web, such as the opportunity to participate in civic and political life”(108). It is important that parents know the difference between mentoring someone and dictating them. Sometimes parents go by the “my way or the highway” saying, but where does that really get you? It is important to work with your child, to pay attention to them, and to become their mentor with a touch of friendship. Till this day, I see parents stuck in the old way of yelling, being violent, and playing the bad cop role constantly. Instead of looking to that person as your hero, you learn tactics of how to be sneaky and ignore them.
I think that parents need to stop being close minded and accept that there are modern ways of parenting. They cannot continue to hand their child a screen at such a young age to shut them up. This only teaches them bad habits. Adjusting to a screen at such a young age only feeds the underlying addiction to internet access. Internet is a privilege and should be treated as one. I do not see anything wrong with owning a cellular device, but I do not think youth should be given a smart phone until they prove to their parents they are responsible and mature enough to handle the accessibility the internet holds.
Book Referenced:
Disconnected: Youth, New Media, and the Ethics Gap By Carrie James
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I Was Born To Love You- Ben Hardy Fanfic- Part five
Hello loves! Sorry it’s taking me forever to update this. This part was extremely long, so I decided to make it into five and five and a half, if that makes sense. Hope you enjoy!
Summary: Brian and Roger wake Leah and tell her she and the guys have a surprise for them waiting for them at the end of the night. She finds out some big news.
Warnings: language, maybe some angst, talk about pregnancy, drinking, nothing really((:
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I woke up the next morning, my make up was all over my pillow and my eyes were still swollen. I heard my phone going crazy. It was only 9 am, what could they possibly want right now? It was Austin calling. "Hi, love," I said tiredly. "When are you coming home?" He asked. Was it true, that he missed me? "Awe, I miss you, too, my love." I said sweetly. "Alright, when are you coming home?" He repeated. He didn't exactly say he missed me, that's just how I took it. "Well we have to add at least another week-" "Alright, see you then, dear." He said hurriedly, hanging up. I looked at my watch that didn't change to London time, it was 5 am there. Why was he up so early?
I couldn't finish my thought, because there was a knock at the door. "It's open," I said, rubbing the tired out of my eyes, smearing my make up even more. Brian and Roger walked in. "Good morning, beauty." Roger said. I smiled at them. "Sleep well?" I asked, getting up, making the bed, flipping the pillow over so they couldn't see the make up stains. "Why yes we did. We have a surprise for you later today, look your very best. Okay?" Brian said. I giggled. "I appreciate the thought but I have to get some stuff for the movie done-" "Yeah the instruments, Bryan told us. Those can wait, love. We all just want a week to have some fun in London, take the day off. For the entire day and entire night, you are no ones assistant. And we want you to look your very best. A nice dress, nice hair and make up, you'll love it, my sweet girl." Brian said, cupping my cheeks. I feel like he's taking the fatherly roll that he knew I was desperate for at a young age. All girls need their dad, and it felt like he looked at me and saw a girl who couldn't have that anymore.
I nodded at them smiling in his grip. As the two older men were leaving, Lucy, who was playing Mary in BoRhap, walked in. "Hello, beauty!" She said sweetly. I smiled at her, as far as I knew I only worked for the guys, even though not today. "Hi, Lucy, what can I do you for?" I asked. She giggled. "You're not my assistant, dear, I just thought you could use some girl time. I know we're all going to this surprise that they won't tell us about, and I know you've been surrounded by men for weeks." She said. I smiled, I guess I have been. I didn't even realize it. "Alright, what do you want to do?" I asked. She thought for a second before getting excited. "Let's get our nails and hair done, treated by Bryan Singer," she said, holding up a credit card. I giggled at the sight of it and agreed. I just through on some shorts and a tee shirt. I also cleaned up my face that had make up all over it. I wore my glasses, since I wasn't anyone assistant today I didn't have to wear contacts. We left from there.
Lucy found this very professional and high end nail salon. It was slightly weird for me to go somewhere like that, I'm not used to high end treatment. We walked in, and we were greeted by this very kind and stunning man, who we quickly learned was flaming. He knew who we worked with and closed the shop for 6 hours to make sure we were well taken care of. They handed us two glasses of Chardonnay, as we were seated. "Actually, would water be okay for me? If it's not too much trouble?" I asked. I remembered what Ben had said. "Until you find out if you are or not, don't drink." Lucy looked at me, confused. "Do you not drink?" She asked, sipping her glass. I shrugged my shoulders. 'Well, I actually love drinking and getting drunk and it sucks to deny Chardonnay because I may be pregnant,' I thought to myself. I couldn't say that, though. They brought out some water for me, thanking them as they got to work.
About 4 hours, a massage, and a mani pedi later, we were done. It was so weird to be pampered like that, but nice, considering the night I had before. I got black, matte coffin shaped nails, and Lucy got gold metallic almond shaped nails. "Let's do something funky," She started, crossing her arm with mine. I smiled at her, laughing at the use of the word 'funky'. "What's that?" I asked. We were walking down a street that had marvelous boutiques, make up stores, all of the sorts. "Let's match our dresses to our nails!" She said, pulling me into a large, two story dress wear house named 'Winingdale'. I wouldn't even know where to begin with this store.
We were greeted by a lovely woman, who looked a bit aged but still looking dashing in a black and gold dress. "Welcome, ladies! How can I assist you today?" She said. I smirked at the comment 'assist'. A bit weird hearing it from someone else. "We have to look our absolute best tonight, however we don't know the occasion, but we were told to look great!" Lucy replied. The woman nodded her head. She snapped her fingers a few times, as another woman rushed up to us. "I understand, we are ready to help! We're going to take into consideration your body types, skin tone, hair color, eye color, and make you all look as nice as possible!" She replied. The older one took my hand, leading me up stairs and the younger one went elsewhere with Lucy.
She pulled me into a dressing room, which was only for one person. She put my against the wall and inspected me. "Hmm, you're quite short," she started, running her hands gently down my sides. "Curvy, but you have a flat tummy," she continued. "What size bra are you?" She asked, looking at my chest. My face flushed slightly. "A size 32 A." I have always been self conscious of my breasts. She got on her knees, looking at my legs, turning me side to side. "You're very fit, dear. And quite dark." She said. That boosted my confidence a bit, I had never really been insecure of my body, but hearing her approval of it made me happier. She stood up, looking at my hair. She ran her fingers through the chocolate brown locks. "Dark hair, blue eyes," she stared to write down. "Fit body, Short." She finished. "I have three dresses I'd like you to try on. These won't be what you'll be wearing, but these three are the styles you might like." She stated. She left the room, and about 5 minutes later she returned.
The first dress I put on was lovely, it was tight, they were all tight, but it got looser as it got closer to the ground. It was a maxi dress. The second one was a holster top, with a hole to show cleavage- cleavage I didn't have may I add- and it really did show off my curves. It ended about mid thigh. The third dress, I wasn't a fan of. It seemed to only cover my breasts, and my bum, barely. Everything in between was just crosses of thin fabric. Which sure it looked okay on me, it wasn't my style. "I really liked the second one," I started. She smiled and nodded. She grabbed my hand, expecting my nails. "Are these what you'll be wearing?" And asked. I nodded, earning a nod from her in response. "I'll be back in twenty minutes. I have to go any find four dresses I'm thinking about." She responded, as two women came in, setting down a few drinks, some popcorn, and turning the TV on. Lucy walked in. "This place is amazing," she started. I giggled at her. "Yes it is, so professional." I said back, eating some popcorn. She grabbed some red wine, as I took some sparkling grape juice. "Love, I know you drink. I've seen you drink, why don't you have some?" She asked. I didn't know what to say, and it wasn't long before I realized my mouth had been a-gap for a few minutes. She opened her eyes slightly wide, looking down at my stomach. "Are you pr-" she started, as I hushed her. "I don't know yet. I just don't want to drink until I know for sure." She started to get excited, but I explained to her to just calm down for a little bit. "I actually have some tests back in my room, they were for a friend who ended up not being pregnant, you should use it when we're done here." She continued. She stopped drinking the wine and poured herself some grape juice as well. I supposed she just felt kind of bad.
Once our dresses came, we picked them out. I got a dress that looked very similar to the one I tried on before, but it was black, with accents of silver. Lucy got a loose fitting dress that was golden with gold sequence. I had a pair of shoes that would match the dress at the hotel, but she convinced me to get a new pair for the hell of it. So I got black stilettos. Lucky for me, I was able to walk in heels. I've always been pretty girly, so I had some practice. After that, we hit some make up stores, jewelry places then headed back to the hotel with all of our bags. We ran into the guys, as my eyes met the beautiful blue eyes I always seem to find. "I see our two favorite girls got ahold of someone's card," Bryan said, jokingly. I smiled at Ben, as he smiled back. "Yeah, we went a bit crazy," she said. "But in our defense, we don't know what we're preparing for! Can't be too careful!" She said. We all had a good laugh. "Well the boys and I are about to get some shopping done ourselves. We'll see you guys in a few hours?" He asked. We both nodded, parting ways. As I passed Ben, I couldn't help but to catch his scent. He smelled comforting.
We put our bags down in Lucy's room as she handed me a test. Two, actually. "Take both. They're different brands, just to be sure." She said. I looked at them, nodding, then stood up and grabbed the test. I headed to the bathroom, and shut the door. I did what I had to do, and walked out. "Now we wait." I said, setting the tests down. I was so afraid.
She could tell how nervous I was. "It'll be okay, Leah. You're married, this isn't a bad thing." She explained, holding my hand. 'It is when you aren't sure your husband is mentally stable,' I thought. It had been two minutes. "I can't look. Will you look for me?" I asked. She nodded, grabbing them both flipping them over. "Ready?" She asked. I nodded looking at her. She looked at them, and smiled, sitting down. "Congratulations, Leah," she said softly, holding them to me.
Taglist: @amy-brooklyn99
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What If (1)
Written for: @emoryhemsworth and this request - Hi Angelina! I was wondering if you could do a fluffy/smutty Jensen x Reader fic based on “What Ifs” by Kane Brown ft. Lauren Alaina? Maybe the reader is super insecure because she’s quite a bit younger than Jensen, and has never considered herself beautiful because of a chromosomal disorder, but Jensen comes along and changes all of that and tells her how smart and beautiful she is? And surprises her by saying he wants to marry her one day?
Also written for: @spngenrebingo
Square filled: Accidental Confession
Emory, I am sorry it took me so long to get around to writing this for you! I skipped the smut, but I hope you like this! Thank you for your support and love!
Warnings: Talk of infertility, reader’s insecurities, age gap (17 years)
Pairing: Jensen x Reader
Word Count: 1531
Beta’d by the best team in the world, @hannahindie and @pinknerdpanda - thank you loves!
THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND SHOULD BE REGARDED AS SUCH. NO DISRESPECT IS INTENDED TOWARD THE ACKLES OR PADALECKI FAMILIES.
A/N: Song lyrics have been turned into dialogue and will be bolded. Italics indicate flashbacks.
“What if you leave Jensen? What if you hurt me? Because you realize I am not good enough for you? Because I can’t give you what you want...what you deserve?” you cried. It was all you could think about lately. All the what ifs of your relationship with him. He looked at you like you had just slapped him in the face.
When you moved to Austin for college the only soul you knew was your roommate. You decided to take a few yoga classes in town to meet new people. It was through the yoga studio that you met Genevieve Padalecki. You and Gen quickly became friends and she appreciated that you always treated her like she was your friend first and not a celebrity. You were the same way with Jared when she introduced you to her husband. It wasn’t until a couple years after you and Gen met that she offered you a part-time job watching their two boys. In the time you had known Gen, those boys stole your heart and you jumped at the chance to spend time with them.
It was by chance that you met Jensen Ackles.
“Hey, I didn’t expect you guys back so soon,” you rose from the couch and started putting your books away when you heard the key turn in the lock.
“Who are you?” a deep voice boomed off the walls in the Padalecki’s family room.
“I’m Y/N, the babysitter,” you told him. “But the question is, good sir, what are you doing here?” You crossed your arms and waited for an answer. Of course you knew who he was, but you had no idea what Jensen Ackles was doing there.
“I need a bottle of wine,” Jensen explained quickly. “Jared keeps several in the cellar. I’ll be right back.” With that he was gone down the stairs before you knew it. He returned a few minutes later with two bottles.
“Red or white?” He asked holding them out to you.
“Dude, I’m twenty and I don’t drink. Why don’t you just ask your date what she prefers,” you scoffed slightly, then took in the look on his face. “I-I’m sorry Jensen, that was uncalled for.” You slumped back into the sofa and covered your face with your hands.
“For your information, it isn’t for ‘my date’, it’s for my mother. She asked for a glass of wine, but I didn’t have any. Secondly, you’re really only twenty?” he asked.
“Yes. College student at UT; third year history major. Again, I am so sorry for what I said,” you apologized.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have just barged in like that, even if I do have a key,” his voice was smooth and calm, his eyes soft as he set the bottles down. “Listen, I gotta go. It was nice to finally meet you, Y/N.” He shook your hand, grabbed his bottles and was out the door. You followed and locked up behind him. Great, you thought, the first time you meet Jensen and you make a fool of yourself.
Over the course of the next few months, Jensen would find his way over to the Padalecki’s more and more frequently. First it was a cookout when he should have been out of town. The next, borrowing some tool he said he needed. You became closer with each drop in. Even though watching those boys made you happy, you found yourself smiling each time you watched them, knowing Jensen would pop in, usually unannounced.
It wasn’t until your twenty-first birthday, a few months later, that you actually got a little nervous when you saw him. Jared and Gen took you out for dinner and drinks at San Jac Saloon. You were seated at a private table in the back, when you felt a warm pair of hands on your shoulders. “Happy Birthday Bits.” He pressed a soft kiss the top of your head and took the seat next to you.
As the night wore on, you and Jared became increasingly drunk. Jensen offered to drive you all home so Gen didn’t have to deal with the both of you. You don’t remember everything from that night, but you do remember waking up with a post-it note on your phone that simply said “Read Me.”
You groaned at the thought of what happened the night before, but unlocked your phone anyway and held your breath, prepared for the worst. What you found melted your heart:
Before you ask, no, I didn’t see anything, you were able to change your clothes all on your own. Secondly, if you don’t mind being seen in public with an old guy, would you have dinner with me tonight? ~Jensen
You stared at the text message for what felt like hours before you remembered you hadn’t answered it.
I’d love to. And look on the bright side...you get a discount on meals and movies ;)
His reply came before you could set your phone back down.
Haha very funny Miss smartypants college student. I’ll pick you up at 7
A smile spread across your face and you replied with a thumbs up and a smiley face. You panicked and realized you didn’t know what to wear and called Gen for help. She didn’t need to know it was Jensen, only that you had a date.
You had told Jensen everything early on. It was something he needed to, no, he deserved to know about you. It was better that he knew upfront.
“Darlin’, why the tears?” Jensen crossed the kitchen and wrapped his arms around you. You and Jensen had only been dating a month and you dreaded this conversation since the first date.
“We need to talk, Jay,” you pulled him to sit next to you. His eyes were filled with concern and worry as he wiped away the tears that had fallen.
“Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out,” he whispered as he held you close.
“You shouldn’t be with me Jensen. You deserve so much better,” your voice was barely a whisper.
“Shouldn’t I be the one to decide who I want to be with? Is this because of your age, because I already told you I don’t care,” he told you.
“No, that is not why, at least not all of it. I can’t ever give you what you want.”
“I already know what I want and it’s you, pretty girl. No more, no less.”
“Jensen, I see the way you are with Gen and Jared’s boys, how great you are with them; how happy you are when they are around. How you look at them with longing. That is something I can never give you.”
“Hey hey, we don’t need to have this conversation today or even in the next few months. I am perfectly happy with where we are and where we are headed. I am already head over heels for you, Darlin’. Talk of babies can wait.”
“Jensen, I can’t get pregnant. I can’t do fertility treatments. Not even in-vitro. I can never give you the child you long for,” you sniffed as the tears came again. “Wait...you love me?” You looked up at him, his face soft and full of love.
“You caught that huh? Well, I may have accidentally confessed to being in love with you, but all that other stuff? That can all wait. If we can’t have babies, we can explore adoption or a surrogate, whatever. I just know that I can’t live without you.”
“You say what if I hurt you? What if I leave you? You think you don’t deserve me? Is this about the haters? Ignore them,” Jensen took a step closer to you, but you backed up, keeping him at a distance. You were afraid if he held you, your resolve would crumble.
“No, it isn’t that, Jensen, but I need to leave. I can’t be here anymore,” you moved past him and were almost to the door when you heard his boots on the hardwoods. His warm hand closed gently around your shoulder and he turned you around.
“The what ifs? Is that what this is all about? Well, before you make your mind up I gotta ask, what if I was made for you and you were made for me? What if this is it, what if it’s meant to be?” his voice cracked with emotion and he stared into your eyes.
“It can’t be…” you broke in. The tears became too much for you and you turned away from him again.
“What if I ain't one of them fools just playin' some game? What if I just pull you close, what if I lean in? What if one of these days, baby, I go and change your name? What if I loved all these what ifs away?” his voice dropped off and there was nothing but silence. The seconds ticked by.
What if he walked away? What if he realized you were right? You slowly turned around and found Jensen down on both knees, a small ring box in his hand.
“I wanna change your name. Who cares about the what ifs?”
to be continued...here
The Whole Enchilada: @sis-tafics @holyfuckloueh @gh0stgurl @hobby27 @bethbabybaby @anspgene @paintrider13-blog @cyrilconnelly @just-another-busy-fangirl @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @roxyspearing @heyitscam99 @iwantthedean @jpadjackles @mogaruke @smoothdogsgirl @x-waywardaf-x @myoutletforfanfiction @growningupgeek @spnbaby-67 @wonderange @emoryhemsworth @impalaimagining @feelmyroarrrr @docharleythegeekqueen @katymacsupernatural @hennessy0274-blog @charliebradbury1104 @pinknerdpanda @hannahindie @wingedcatninja @highfunctioning-sociopath @speakinvain @evansrogerskitten @percussiongirl2017 @blacktithe7 @theoriginalvicki @mrswhozeewhatsis @sweetpeamoose @sandlee44 @mottergirl99 @meeshw777 @squirrel-moose-winchester @milkymilky-cocopuff @meganwinchester1999 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @grace-for-sale @andkatiethings @nanie5 @monkeymcpoopoo @adoptdontshoppets
Jensen’s Jamboree: @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @supernatural-jackles @trunk-full-of-ideas @kayteonline @ruprecht0420 @kathaswings @bringmesomepie56 @deandoesthingstome @starry-chaos @dean-winchesters-bacon @pisces-cutie
#spngenrebingo#jensen ackles#jensen x reader#jensen ackles x reader#jensen x reader fluff#jensen x reader flangst
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You Drive Me Crazy || margtin
WHO: Margaret Anderson & Austin Kennedy
WHEN: Friday, September 1, 2017
WHERE: Italian Restaurant, Austins Apartment
DETAILS: Austin and Margaret go on their first date
TRIGGERS/WARNINGS: hinted nsfw and lots of adorable fluff
Margaret was a perfect mix of excited and nervous for this date with Austin. She has been on a mix of dates and hook ups over the years but not that many with a more romantic feeling behind them. She was honestly feeling more than infatuated with the man, enough so that they were both getting jealous of others spending time with them. Even though she wasn’t in any rush to figure out what this would lead to she was more in a rush to finally see the dark haired man again. It has been hard to get him out of her mind the last week or so. She had on a simple but elegant black dress that hugged her in all the right place and hit mid thigh on her. After running her fingers through her short hair she checked herself in the mirror one more time before she was sure that he would arrive.
Austin had asked for advice from his friends and pretty much gotten the same response from all of them. Don't overthink it. Treat it like you were spending time with a friend who you wanted to kiss really badly. Simple enough. He dressed himself up in his best pair of jeans and a sport coat and made his way over to Margaret's apartment again, this time with a bouquet of flowers in hand. Even with the nerves, he was going to get to spend some more time with Margaret and he couldn't imagine that being a bad thing. He knocked at her door and attempted to look as cool as he could.
Margaret felt a smile creep onto her lips when she heard a knock on the door. After one last look she made her way to the door and opened it, her smile only growing when she saw Austin. And when she looked down and saw the flower she swore her heart fluttered slightly, her eyes went back up to meet his the smile still on her lips like she had a feeling it would be for the rest of the evening. "Well hello there handsome, what a pleasure it is to have you at my door once again." She said taking a step closer to him almost natural. Her voice charming and soft, almost as if her heart didn't skip a beat just a moment earlier.
Austin felt his heart start beating a little faster at the sight of her and he took a deep breath. "Hello to you. You look stunning," he told Margaret with all sincerity. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Margaret's cheek, enjoying the sweet scent of her. "I know I'm no expert at this dating thing, but I thought a beautiful lady deserved some beautiful flowers."
Margaret felt her cheeks turn a slight shade of pink as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Well you are doing such a wonderful job at it already just being your amazing self." She accepted the flowers, looking down at them as her sweet smile turned soft, "Let me put these in some water and we can be on our way to the start of an amazing evening." She stepped back into her apartment, to place the flowers in some water putting them in her windowsill. She turned back around to him, "Alright I am all ready. So do I get a hint onto how this evening is going to go or is it a surprise?" She said raising an eyebrow.
Austin just really hoped that was true. He had so much confidence in himself in so many areas, but dating had just never been his strong suit. Not proper ones anyway. But being himself he imagined he could handle. And Margaret's beautiful smile and positive outlook weren't hurting either. He stood in the doorway, watching her scurry about, and smiled brightly again when she returned. He held out his arm so he could escort her down to his car. "I'm afraid I don't have anything terribly surprising planned. Just a nice dinner at a little spot I like. Good food, quiet enough to talk to one another."
Margaret closed the door to her place, gladly accepting his arm. Her other hand coming around to run lightly up and down his arm, not being able to help but enjoy simple affection with him. It just felt so natural and brought that warm fuzzy feeling to her that you would hear people talk about it books and movies. Something that she always doubted the truth of. "I don't know about you but that sounds like the most wonderful evening to me. Even more so because I get to be with such wonderful company." She said looking over to him and smiling as they headed down to his car. Continuing to sneak glances at him as the made their way to and into the car.
Austin was glad to hear it. He still wanted to plan something a little more adventurous in the future and take that roadtrip he knew she wanted, but this would be a nice night to start. "You know, I'm the one who's supposed to be making you blush," he pointed out, chuckling as he opened his passenger door for her. He hopped in quickly and started the car. "I hope you like Italian food. Most people do."
Margaret let out a light laugh as she got in the car, "You are already doing any amazing at it, I am pretty sure my cheeks and permanently pink now. All thanks to you, handsome." She said looking over to him when he got in the car. "Hopefully you enjoy the company of a tomato because if you keep it up you may just end up spending the evening with one." Margaret added a teasing wink at him. "Oh I love it, it is actually my favorite. I would be worried for anyone who doesn't have a soft spot for pasta."
Austin shook his head, smiling at how absolutely adorable Margaret was. "If we're going to have pasta, what better for you to be than a tomato, am I right?" he teased, reaching over for her hand without even thinking about it. He just liked having contact with her. "Pasta and tomatoes go perfectly together." The restaurant wasn't too far thankfully and he requested a booth towards the back so they could have their privacy when they got there.
Margaret couldn't help but have her smile grow when she saw him shake his head. Glad to see that her cheesy sayings and rambling seemed to make him smile. "Well look at you always making things sound wonderful. Another one of your many talents." When he reached for her hand, her smile turned soft and she accepted his hand. After lacing their fingers and looking down and admiring how well their hands fit together, her eyes moved back to him. "But you caught me there, it looks like this is all meant to be isn't it?" She said raising an eyebrow letting her thumb run lightly across his knuckles. When she saw the restaurant in sight she felt a mixture of nerves and excitement, part of her hoping that she would be a good date for him but excitement because even though she has only known Austin for a short time she knew she would always have a great time with him.
Austin found himself rather distracted by the feeling of her fingers tangling with his, her soft skin brushing over his own. It only reminded him just how soft her skin was all over, already growing eager to run his hands over it once again. One thing at a time though. He rested his hand on the small of her back to lead her back to the booth and allowed her to slide in before taking his spot across from her. "I feel like this is the first time I've actually gotten to take a moment just to look at you. Last time we were rather... busy from the get go, you know? You really do look lovely tonight."
Margaret felt herself relax in his touch when his had went to the small of her back, happy to realize that there were going to be able to have a little privacy with their date this evening. When she settled into the booth her eyes went to his, smiling softly at what he said, it was completely true she was realizing new things and features about him. That only drew her to him even more than before. Her cheeks turning a deeper pink from before at his compliment, "Well what can I say I just couldn't be too far from you after all the anticipation." She said adding a playful wink, "But thank you and you look incredibly handsome, it is pretty tough to keep my eyes off you."
Austin ducked his head and let out a small laugh. "I understand. I couldn't much help myself either. I'm just hoping I can get through this dinner like a gentleman. Though I can't promise I won't have some thoughts of what's to come later this evening." He winked before glancing down at his menu. "Do you prefer red or white wine?"
Margaret felt her smile only grow when he ducked his head, "I can't blame you, you wouldn't be the only one not being able to make that promise. You can't help but make my imagination run wild." She looked down and thought for a minute, "Even though I enjoy both I think I will would prefer white wine." Margaret took the moment to scan the menu to see what she would be interested in getting then her eyes went back to scan over him. "Which reminds me that there is so much more we can learn about each other too. We both know we enjoy travel and you enjoy music, which let me say I am more than excited to hear you perform at some point. I have quite a soft spot for musicians." She said, folding her arms onto the table and leaning in slightly.
Austin raised his eyes again at the comment, his smile widening. "Well then, I have some very good news for you. I know we agreed to spend tomorrow together and I still very much want to do that. But Cameron arranged for me to play at Jammin' Java tomorrow evening. I was hoping you'd join me so you could see me play. Then you'll never be able to resist me," he teased.
Margaret raised one of her eyebrows at him, already feeling the excitement bubbling up inside her. She was not sure how he had a power to not only make her not only smile non stop but also make her stomach flutter at just the thought of watching him do what he enjoys. "He did? That would be amazing, it would be quite the pleasure to watch you play." She laughed lightly, "Not like I am having a hard enough time with that already. You are not going to make things easy on me are you? Being all attractive and then adding singing to that? I might as well melt right here." She said teasingly adding a quick wink in his direction.
Austin shrugged innocently. "Guess that plan to learn guitar to help me get laid worked out well," he laughed. The waiter appeared and he ordered a bottle of wine for them before allowed Margaret to make her entree choice then doing the same. Once they were alone again, he leaned in one the table to mirror her own actions. "Genuinely though, I hope you'll enjoy it. I really do love playing and I haven't gotten to do it a lot since coming back to Arkansas."
Margaret couldn't help but smirk at his innocent shrug, god she could just watch his mannerisms and be amused for hours. There was so much about him that interested her in a way that she can't put a point on. But one thing she knows is that it is a new feeling and one that she is interested in exploring and learning about as much as she could at least. "I am sure it works wonders for you, and I am sure that smile and rugged look of yours was an amazing added bonus." Even as they ordered her eyes could help but go back to his from time to time. Her eyes locking to his as he leaned in closer to her, "I can't see how I couldn't. I really look forward to it and I hope it would be the first of many performances that I would get to attend." She said genuinely, "So what got you started with music and playing guitar?"
Austin was so determined not to be the one blushing, but Margaret was making it rather difficult with all the kind words she was throwing at him. "I won't deny genetics has been a blessing to me," he admitted with the smile he knew worked wonders as well. "I hope so too. Both that I'll get to perform more and that'll you'll be there to see me. Ahh, now see you thought I was joking when I said learned guitar to get laid," he laughed. "Sadly, that was my initial thought. But I was sixteen, so I hope you'll give me a break. Once I learned though, it became a bit of an outlet for all those angsty teen emotions I wasn't very good at expressing in other ways. I suppose I still use it for that in some ways."
Margaret shook her head lightly, "Oh no no, I had a feeling you weren't and of course I would give you a break." Her smile turning light, "Hell I am sure we both did our fair share of crazy things when we were younger I know I did. I just think of it as a great way to learn from but to also have great stories to tell later on." She said finding her reminiscing on her adventures when she traveled, "It is always great to find a good outlet though, at any age. I know art has stayed with me as an outlet throughout the years through the ups and downs of life. You should see the stuff I have in notebooks from high school" She laughed lightly, "It was a great mix of that teen angst and my boy crazy mind."
Austin nodded his thanks to the waiter when he poured out their wine and left the bottle chilling near the table. "I think we might still be doing some crazy things now and then," he pointed out with a grin. "But only if they're fun." He tilted his head as she talked about her art, hoping he had a chance to experience that soon as well, whether it involved him being naked or not. "I'd love to see anything you've done. Maybe I'll stop by and have my portrait done at the park sometime. Just so I can see that pretty face." He lifted his glass and held it out to offer a toast. "To a wonderful night with wonderful company."
Margaret felt her smile grow as she saw him grin, "Oh yes I would especially hope so. Well I am pretty sure that as long as we are doing it together fun would never be that far away." Which she knew for a fact especially since she knew that she could see herself only wanting to spend more time with Austin. And even though she is sure he enjoys her company too she could only hope she wasn't the only one starting to get really use to this new feeling that came when the two of them were together. "And I would love to show you. Maybe you could even come out with me when I go out and paint some scenery." She rose her eyebrow when he mentioned visiting her at work, a blush following with his comment. "Well that pretty face would love for any opportunity to get to see you." She held up her glass tapping it against his lightly, "To a wonderful night with amazing company." A bright smile spread across her lips, taking a small sip. The food being brought out shortly after, her eyes parting from Austins only for a moment to say thank you.
Austin raised his eyebrow in his usual fashion that always seem to get a reaction out of her. "Yes. I can think of plenty of fun things we can do together in all kinds of places," he agreed with a smirk. "Yeah? I'd like that. Watching people create art has always fascinated me. It's part of why I love live music so much. I imagine watching someone paint would be similar. Quieter, of course," he mused. "But I do work on property anyway. I can't think of a better way to spend my break than visiting you." He sipped contently at his wine and dug into his dinner once it was set in front of him.
Margaret smirked at his statement, "All kinds of places, hm? Well I can't wait." The eyebrow raise causing her stomach to flutter lightly, she wasn't sure how he was able to have that power over her already. How simple words and actions were able to able to make her body react in such a way that was beautiful even though it was confusing. She listened to him talk, already feelings excited for the plans that they were making. "Well I am sure there would be a few fun ways for us to spend our breaks at work, but visiting would be one of the great ones. It would make the work day even better than it already it." She said with a wink.
Austin hummed as he chewed, considering all the possibilities. "It would be nice if we could line up our breaks, wouldn't it? We could grab a snack together or hop on a ride. Or... perhaps find somewhere a little more private. Go on our own private ride," he added quietly, making sure to lock eyes with her as the right side of his mouth quirked up.
Margaret nodded as she continued to eat, twirling her fork to get the perfect amount of pasta. Taking her turn to raise an eyebrow at his statement, her eyes locking to his. Setting down her fork to take a sip of the wine, one of her legs moving to brush along his under the table. "Oh yes it would be so very nice. I think I may find myself looking forward to work a whole lot more." Her head tilted lightly, "Our own private ride, hm? I think I could especially enjoy that idea the most."
Austin hid his smile behind a napkin as he wiped his mouth off. "I thought you might like that idea." He took a moment to collect himself and make sure he didn't start thinking too deeply on that while they were in public. Perhaps he needed to talk about something that didn't involve them naked and tangled together. Surely he could manage that. "So... does everyone call you Margaret? No Maggie or... Peg? Which I never really understood. Where does the P even come from?"
Margaret couldn't help but have a big smile grow across her lips, he really was finding his way to know exactly what would make her smile or just know what ideas were running through her mind. She could tell they were on the same track when she met his eyes and then he changed the topic, making a small smirk spread across her lips as she set down her glass of wine. "Most people call me Margaret but I have had people call me Maggie, Marge, Peggy. Lincoln calls me Mimi from time to time but that is from when we were younger. I just let people call me what feels more natural." Margaret thought for a moment, "That is actually a good question I think it comes from the Maggie part but who knows."
Austin tilted his head as he listened to her, seeming to enjoy even the sound of her voice. He was definitely in a lot of trouble with this one, but in the best ways. "Mimi. Well, that's adorable. But reserved for Lincoln, of course," he added with understanding. He hummed as he considered her for himself. "Perhaps I'll have to come up with my very own nickname for you. I do like to be special after all," he pointed out with a playful wink.
Margaret nodded, "It really is, it was even more adorable watching him attempt to say Margaret as a toddler." A little laugh escaping her lips at the memory, shaking her head lightly. "I would really like that, a special nickname from an even more special guy." She said with a genuine smile taking the last bite of her food. "You do, hm? Well I am glad you do because you really are quite the amazing and special person. Can't say I have had the pleasure of meeting anyone as great as you so far."
Austin couldn't help but laugh at that image. He was sure Lincoln was an adorable child since the whole family was quite attractive. "Natalie used to leave the S out of my name when she first started talking too, but thankfully she doesn't still call me Autin," he chuckled. "I'm gonna have to think on this one though. I want it to be something good after all. Not just any old nickname." He shook his head at her compliments. As big as he let everyone think his ego was, he was never so sure that he was really all that special. Not in the true sense of the word anyway. Not to anyone in particular outside of his mother perhaps.
Margaret felt her smile grow at hearing his laugh, and here she was thinking just his smile was contagious. Or even the way his light eyes would brighten up at the little things. Finding herself laughing at the story about his younger sister. It was so easy for her to study his little actions and mannerisms already and adore each and every one that she found. She wasn't sure what it was about him but he sure was special but she found herself really enjoying the feeling. "Well take your time because you have made yourself quite hard to stay away from. So it looks like you will be stuck with me for quite awhile." Margaret reached across the table for him, "You know its true, how special you are. And if you don't I will make sure to remind you of it for as long as you will keep me around."
Austin didn't miss the way Margaret looked at him or the way it made his heart beat just a little faster. It was something like she was studying, but purely because she wanted to actually know him, which was a pretty good feeling. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather be stuck with," he replied sincerely. He took her hand when it was offered and smiled down at where their fingers touched. He felt the connection in more ways than one. "That's very sweet of you. I don't think too many people really believe that. My mother, my sister, maybe a few friends in their own way. Definitely not my father." He shook his head again, not meaning to bring this whole thing down.
Margaret swore that she felt a spark or a connection being made when their fingers touched, it was a new feeling that she was still getting use to. But she couldn't help but want to feel it more, but not with just anyone. It was a feeling she knew would was just for one person and for once in quite a while she knew she could be content with herself being focused on one person. She watched him as he smiled down at their hands, she slowly laced their fingers as she ran her thumb lightly across his. A sincere and light smile was on her lips as she listened to him feeling a stronger pull to want to make him happy and do anything to put a smile on his face, "It is the truth and one thing I have learned in life is that not everyone is that sometimes you need to have those people that don't see that special light of you so that when you find someone that does it even more significant. Enough so to make you not worry about anyone whoever doubted you in the past."
Austin could feel each and every little touch Margaret offered him and he couldn't remember ever paying that much attention when he was with other people. She just made him feel things he supposed, as nervous as that made him. It wasn't exactly a bad nervous anyway. His smile was soft and grateful then and he gave her a little nod. "That's a good way of looking at it. Personally, I'm just trying to make myself a better man every day. Try to be the type of man who deserves to be looked at in such a way. Not squander anymore of my life away."
Margaret continued to run her thumb up and down his, enjoying and almost longing for the contact between the two of them. She can't believe she was the one thinking he would be the one that would go and get addicted to her, as of right now she found herself and her body wanting to be near to him in any way possible. "Sometimes it is good to look at those positives in life, especially when there are so many downs that come from it." Trying not to let her mind travel to her own ups and downs in life. "Well I think you are doing quite an amazing job at it. So far you from what I have had the pleasure to experience you are an amazing, kind and charming man." She couldn't help but feel like she could lose herself in conversation with him, like the rest of the world would disappear.
Austin sighed, both at her touch and her words. "I'd really like to kiss you right now. And I'm finding this table a terrible nuisance," he declared. Sliding from his side of the booth, he got up and sat beside her on her side, not caring in the least about anyone else in the restaurant who might see them. He used one finger to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and then leaned in to brush his lips over hers. It was much gentler than ones they'd shared in the past and it was exactly what he needed.
Margaret bit her lip lightly as she felt her smile grow at his statement, "It is really getting in the way isn't it?" She said lightly as she watched him slide from his side to come sit by her. Feeling herself lean into his touch as he moved hair behind her ear, moving closer to him when his lips brushed against hers. Smiling lightly against his lips before kissing him back. Letting one of her hands move to rest on his neck letting her thumb run lightly across his jawline. She parted slightly to meet his eyes, her lips still brushing against his, "Mhm this is so much better..." she said lightly before pressing her lips to his again.
Austin let out a happy little noise against Margaret's lips that he'd totally deny making if anyone ever asked. This girl was somehow breaking down all the tough guy walls he'd worked so hard to build up over the years and he found himself actually enjoying it. He looked up when he heard someone clearing their throat and chuckled awkwardly at the waiter who was handing him the bill. "Thanks, mate." He stuck his card in and handed it back before turning to Margaret with a grin. "He's clearly very lonely and jealous," he laughed.
Margaret felt her heart flutter at the noise that he made, which only caused her to deepen the kiss. She didn't think it was possibly to feel herself open up more and more to a person in just one night. When he parted and looked up her eyes traveled up to meet the waiter, a laugh escaping her lips at his reaction. Hiding her head on his shoulder for a moment before she moved to pick her head up and rest a hand on his chest. A grin grew across her lips to match his, biting her lip lightly when his eyes met hers again. "Obviously, not everyone can be so lucky, can they?" She said letting her fingers start to trace shapes in his chest
Austin ducked his head close to Margaret's and found himself giggling with her. That certainly wasn't something he did very often. "I suppose not," he agreed, stealing another lingering kiss. "So... what shall we do after this? We could take up a rousing game of bowling?" he teased. "Or... we could go back to yours or mine where there won't be anyone interrupting our kisses?"
Margaret hummed lightly as she thought of the endless possibilities of what they could do. "Hmm, as tempting as bowling sounds you won't see me complaining about some alone time." She moved to rest one of her hands on his upper thigh, "We could go to one of our places and have some dessert, try to watch a movie..." Margaret said knowing that it would be hard to focus on anything when he is near by. Moving her eyes from his for a moment to thank the waiter when he came back with their receipt. She moved her eyes back to his, "What would you like to do?" She asked innocently as her nails ran lightly across his jeans.
Austin sucked in a breath when he felt her fingers on his thigh and it was all he could do to keep it together and smile at the waiter. He tucked his card back into his wallet before answering Margaret's question. Leaning in, he whispered in her ear with warm breath. "You," he said before pressing his lips just below her ear gently. Without another word, he stood from the booth and held his hand out to her in offering. He may still question himself when it came to just how worthy he was of certain things, but he had no doubts about his talents in the area of charm and sexual prowess.
Margaret smirked when she hear him suck in a breath at her actions, admiring how he was able to keep himself so composed. A sigh escaped her lips when he whispered in her ear, biting her lip to hold back a moan as he pressed his lips to her skin. He had such a power over her to make her feel like she could melt into his touch. He could do anything just brush her hair out of her face, hold her hand and her heart would flutter. She took his hand and laced their fingers together as they made their way back to his car. Once they were alone her hand went back to rest on his leg her eyes moving to his, "So you want me, hm? How much?" She asked her nails moving once again, wanting to drive him crazy in all of the best ways possible.
Austin might have been walking a bit faster than usual on the way back to the car, but Margaret just seemed to put a spring in his step and a need in his body. He started the car up and decided to head back to his place. It was only fair after all since they'd already spent one night at hers. He hummed at her question and covered her hand with his own. Sliding it up slowly, he let her fingers brush over the bulge beneath his jeans. "That answer your question?" he asked with a grin.
Margaret felt a moan escape her lips when his hand moved hers, feeling how much he wanted her. "Mhm, very much so." She let her hand add more pressure and slowly move in an up and down motion. Her eyes locked to his as she felt her own anticipation growing, being more than glad that is house wasn't far away because she wasn't sure how patient she could be. "You can't imagine just how much I want you right now...the ideas that are running through my mind..."
Austin bit down on his bottom lip, mostly concentrating on getting them to his apartment safely and driving off the road. He desperately wanted to press his hips back up against her hand, but he managed to control himself and keep his eyes on the road. "Oh, believe me, I have some idea. You drive me mad, you know that?" he asked, glancing over at her. "In the very best ways."
Margaret raised her eyebrow when she saw him bite down on his lower lip, knowing the fact that she was causing that was only causing her own tension to build. Glad that the car didn't keep them to far apart, crossing her legs at her knees to help her lean close to them. She pressed light kisses to his shoulder, wishing that there wouldn't be that many clothes between them. Switching from her hand adding pressure to her nails running teasingly slow over him. "I do, huh? Well what a coincidence you drive me quite crazy too. And ever since our first adventure, you are all that has been running through this mind of mine."
Austin gasped once again at the sensations that were already running through his body. "You gonna act like you don't know exactly what you're doing?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow as he glanced over at her once again. "That's nice to know though. Makes a guy feel pretty good." He pulled into his complex, more than grateful that they'd reached their destination. Another mile or two and he would've pulled over and gone at it right there on the side of the road. As soon as he parked, Austin turned and kissed Margaret desperately so he could get at least a little taste before he really did go mad.
Margaret smirked at the gasp that escaped his lips, "Yes..." She said with an innocent smile spread across her lips. "Well you deserve to feel good, the best even. And I will make sure of that in any way possible." She said her eyes moving from his complex to him as he parked. Her hands moving to run through his hair when his lips pressed to hers in a desperate kiss. Pulling him closer to her, her need for him only growing stronger by the second, unbuckling herself so that there wouldn't be anything in the way for them.
Austin ran his hands down Margaret's body as he kissed her, his own still straining for any contact possible. It wasn't the easiest in their current positions though. "Why don't we move this up to my apartment? No cupholders in the way up there," he pointed out with a soft laugh. "Stay there. I'll get your door." He gave her one last kiss before hopping out and rounding the car to open her door and assist her out.
Margaret couldn't help but let out a laugh with him, "That might be a good idea." She said with a light smirk following. It was hard for her to keep her eyes off of him as he made his way around the car. "Such a gentlemen," she said softly as she got out of the car and took his hand. Reaching up to press another quick kiss to his lips. "Now how about you show me your place and exactly how you plan on showing me just how crazy I drive you?" Her eyes starting to turn dark with the longing that was starting build up inside of her.
Austin wove his fingers between Margaret's as he led her up to his apartment. "Funny, that was exactly what I was planning on doing," he chuckled. He unlocked his door, grateful that he took the time to clean up before their date, and led them in for another long night that wouldn't soon be forgotten.
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(feature image by Shayan Asgharnia)
I first came in contact with Los Angeles based superhero Sama'an Ashrawi a few months back. I was at my 9-5 when he hit me up via email to talk about the Afrofuturistic web series that he was co-producing for DUST. He had found a piece I’d done on Missy Elliott’s love for spacey visuals and we soon started chatting about media, art, and futuristic Black life.
I figured out pretty quickly that Ashrawi was way more dope than I could’ve ever imagined. He’s met Herbie Hancock, Ladybug Mecca, Thundercat, and countless other legendary creative pillars. Since we’ve been in touch, he’s shared great stories about his life with me and I’m grateful that someone with his experience is that open. I mentioned that I wanted to interview him and he quickly and graciously accepted. So, without further ado, here is my chat with Sama'an Ashrawi, Trill Gladiator.
⭐️
Who are you?
My name is Sama’an, my friends often refer to me as “dad” because:
a) I like to make sure everyone stays hydrated when we go out dancing
b) my dance moves are pretty stiff (almost nailed a Milly Rock last weekend, but I’m not quite there yet), and
c) because I am very much into puns.
I also get called “William Miller” a lot because my hair and career have a lot of similarities to the kid from the movie Almost Famous. This clip = me. From a young age, I’ve been able to gain the trust of, and land interviews with, really big names. I was 20 when I interviewed Raekwon for the first time, 21 when I interviewed Kendrick Lamar and Damian Marley.
What sparked your interest in Afrofuturism?
The short answer is: a combination of things in my upbringing.
The long answer is:
Since I was a teenager, I was into the music of Hendrix and George Clinton and watched plenty of Star Trek thanks to my parents; they met in college as political activists and over the years have introduced me to their many friends who were veterans of various liberation movements. My parents and their friends taught me intersectionality before I was introduced to that term in college.
Though I can’t be sure if it happened on Twitter or in the classroom, I discovered the music of Sun Ra and Fela Kuti and the idea of Afrofuturism as I pursued a minor in African Diaspora Studies. The Af Am classes I took were hugely important in shaping my understanding of the uniqueness of the psychology of the African American experience, but I think it was my parents’ homegrown education that gave me the foundation to be aware of and open to those ideas.
(shot by Sarah Jasmine Montgomery)
College changed my life. It’s where I paid my dues. It’s where I met so many of the people who would open doors for me and help me set my sails. Many of them I still work with to this day. But I think the two most important things I did in college were: becoming a producer at, and eventually entertainment director of, Texas Student TV (our student-run TV station) & minoring in Africa & African Diaspora Studies.
I think when people try to downplay the history of racism in this country, pointing them to Sun Ra is a great rebuttal because it’s like… things were really so bad that Sun Ra wanted to take black people to a whole new planet. That Sun Ra’s escapism was so heavy and yet he could still present it in such a beautiful amd melodic way still blows my mind. In general, I think art that comes from marginalized communities has the ability to cut through the static in a way that is unparalleled— more than a speech ever could.
Have you learned anything in the last week?
Hmmmm what have I learned in the last week? I learn so much from my friends every day, you’re making me want to start a journal dedicated to the things my friends teach me. Some wisdom that my big brother Gary Clark Jr just imparted to me is: when you’re collaborating with someone, it’s like a dance; if you’re moving at two different speeds, you’re gonna trip each other up. So if you feel like you’re moving faster than the other person, pump your brakes.
(shot by Marco Torres)
How did you meet Bun B?
I just had the treat of witnessing him tell this story last time I was in Houston. It’s way more cinematic when he tells it, but, we met almost exactly 7 years ago, in July of 2010. It was the summer after my sophomore year at The University of Texas and I had just been handed the reins to produce the hip-hop show at our school’s student-run TV station, Texas Student TV. The show had formerly been called ATX Most Wanted, but our entertainment director at the time, the now Emmy-winning Tabitha Lipkin, said she wanted me to come up with a new name.
I had driven to Houston from Austin to cover Trae Day— underground legend Trae Tha Truth’s city holiday and its corresponding concert. (PS Trae gave me a lot of my first looks, and for that I am forever grateful—later, when I became entertainment director at the TV station, I would get his videos and cartoon sketches played on the station. PPS I may or may not have a cameo in this music video, I’ll let you find it though)
At any rate, Lupe Fiasco happened to be at Trae’s concert and so I went right up to him and introduced myself; my sister was with me and she got a great, sweaty picture of us together that I need to dig up. (As the years have gone by, Lupe has been a sort of enigmatic mentor figure, appearing a few times a year to give me encouragement or advice, and whenever I’ve needed to do an interview, he’s always said yes.)
Anyway, at Trae Day I also met a rapper named Troublesum; she and I struck up a conversation and she asked, “Are you going to Bun B’s album listening session tonight?”
I was like, “I had no idea that was even a thing.”
So she gave me the deets and a few hours later we met back up there. This was Bun’sTrill O.G. album which has the distinction of being the last album given 5 mics by The Source. Troublesum introduced me to one of Bun’s managers, Bone, I gave him my spiel and asked if I could interview Bun. He said, “Once we’re done listening to the album, I got you.”
You’ve gotta know that growing up in Texas, Bun is looked at as a Greek God, mythical and omnipotent. I thought it would take me years to meet the man, let alone interview him. Here I was, just a few months into my “career”, and I was in a studio sitting next to Lupe Fiasco and Young Buck (lol) waiting to interview Bun.
The new name for the show I had come up with was simple and to the point, “Longhorn Hip Hop”; Our school mascot is the Longhorns, so it made sense. I told myself, okay, if it sounds good coming out of Bun’s mouth, it’s gonna stick (Bun would tell me I should say “pause” here, but this isn’t his interview so I’m not gonna say it!) So we did the interview, it went well, and Bun said something like, “Shoutout to Longhorn Hip Hop; Hook ‘em Horns, baby,” and I was like, “Yup, that’s it.”
Then I ended up at a lot of events over the next few months that Bun also was at and built up a good rapport with the people around him; I think understandably Bun is wary of letting new people into his circle, so he kept his distance from me at first to see if I was a genuine person. But the way Bun likes to tell it is that the breakthrough moment was when I showed up to his bodyguard Truck’s birthday party the next year, that was what made him initiate me into the Trill Gladiators. When Bun tells the story he always emphasizes the fact that, “Sama’an came allll the way to the HOOD” haha but for me it was more about supporting the people who supported me. And to this day, Bone, Truck, and Bun, among others, have always been there for me.
Do you feel lit? You’re pretty poppin in my opinion, but how do you feel about yourself?
Haha you know, I’m not sure I’ve ever used the term “lit” un-ironically mainly because I’m not sure it’s for me to say. I think I’ve done a lot of cool stuff, can’t deny that, but I’ve still got a lot of growing to do. One person who inspires me a great deal is Hannibal Buress; I look at how long he grinded it out before he caught his big breaks and it motivates me to keep going.
How do I feel about myself? Truthfully, maybe this says a lot about me, but I never take selfies. Is that weird? Like if you follow me on snapchat, you’ll rarely if ever see me post selfie pics/videos. What does that say about me? Idk.
What’s the most important part of your creative process?
Movement. Going for a walk, or a drive to a far away place, or playing basketball. Something about taking in new surroundings helps me get my ideas out, especially if I’ve got writer’s block.
Write three sentences. One for the past you, one for the current you, and one for super duper grown up you.
Past – Maybe don’t tweet so much.
Present – Sometimes growth is stressful and crying is okay.
Super Duper Grown Up – Please tell me I grow up to be a late night talk show host.
That’s all folks! Thanks for reading~
-Brooklyn White
#Sama'an Ashrawi#trill gladiator#creative#music#culture#brooklyn white#interview#afrofuturism#thundercat#bun b#UGK#herbie hancock#george clinton
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Days 24 - 27: New Orleans, LA; San Antonio, TX; and Austin, TX
In contrast to Nashville, New Orleans was actually a lot like I had expected it to be (a very good thing). The live music, the drinks, the nightlife, the people... there really wasn’t anything about it that wasn’t enjoyable. Besides Bourbon St being completely torn up by some major construction.
We got into New Orleans later in the day, and did the usual. Hotel, unload, freshen up, go out. I found a cool “live music and cocktail tour” of Frenchmen St that we booked for a couple of hours. It was a private tour, so there was just Maga and I, and another couple. Our tour guide was so awesome and full of knowledge about the history of the city. It was really cool to actually do an informative tour, since we haven’t done this yet anywhere.
We went to four different bars. Well, Maga and I started at our pickup location. We got an uber there a little early just to be sure we wouldn’t miss the tour, and had a drink at the bar and were the only audience to the man playing acoustic guitar and the harmonica there. He had a lovely voice and I actually really enjoyed listening to him. We felt bad leaving since we were the only ones there... it was still early. I don’t think I can remember the names of all of the bars that we went to. The first one was called Maison’s I think? They had some band playing, they were good but not anything that blew us away. Maga got a variation of a moscow mule, her favorite, and I got an old fashioned.
The next bar I don’t remember much. Maga struggled with an ATM machine. I snuck out and ran to the corner store with the tour guide for some cigarettes (I was drinking, yes I know you’re disappointed, and yes I know I should quit, thanks). Then I shared a smoke outside with a really nice girl named Sarah who was from Hawaii and lived in San Francisco, visiting New Orleans with her boyfriend for her birthday and their anniversary. Then it was time to go, so I didn’t get much experience or knowledge at this bar.
Our third bar was my absolute favorite. It was called Blue Nile, and it was the epitome of everything I ever thought New Orleans could be. We walked into this dimly lit bar that appeared as a really basement-looking dive bar. Then we saw the lights and the stage and heard the music... and wow.
This band was absolutely incredible. They had a really diverse group of at least eight people. The outfits were great, the passion, energy, dancing, and god the talent - everything that came out of these people were great. Walking into this bar and watching them perform was like a movie. And there was hardly anyone there! We were really enjoying ourselves there, but had to get to the last bar. But don't worry, Mama and I found our way back somehow late into the night and watched the band finish up their set. And they were right, they ended up filling up the place on a Tuesday night as if it were a Saturday. Someone bought a bunch of their CD’s and donated them to the crowd, and I got my hands on one. I feel like this kind of music is just so much better live, but I don’t doubt that they are amazing on record as well. I have yet to listen. But if any of you want to look into them, their name is Water Seed.
It seemed as if we left Blue Nile and arrived at this last bar at the perfect time. We walked in and the band finished up their song some seconds later. Then all of a sudden the lead guy says to everyone, “Alright now everyone give it up for our good friend Quay as our special guest tonight!” Our freaking tour guide! He jumped on the stage and did vocals for the bands next song, I thought that we so cool. We had no idea, and like I said, he had just timed it so well.
Quay stuck around with us after the tour and helped us find a good place for food. He was a really great guy, it was cool to hear his story and get his recommendations. Oh! And can I just say that our Uber driver was just a doll? He went by the name Hope. He took us to our tour meet up location, and gave me his phone number to call him for a ride back when we were done downtown. It was so sweet of him to go out of his way to do that for us in the middle of a busy night. And he had so much information about New Orleans (like the huge pumping issue) and great recommendations as well. We love you Hope!
The next morning, we found a place downtown kind of in the French Quarter to get some cajun/creole food. Maga and I both wanted jambalaya and gumbo. I also was told that I needed to try some crawfish or crawdads or whatever the hell. Love everything except the crawfish étouffée. What in the world are you people thinking? I thought it was disgusting, and the crawfish tails looked like tadpoles. I was pretty put off by it wish doesn't happen often, I typically love everything and anything. But, I tried it!
After lunch we went to Cafe de Monde, apparently a very popular french coffee shop in the French Quarter. They basically only had cafe au lait and beignets. Both were delicious, Maga and I had powdered sugar all over us. It as definitely worth the stop, I wish I had more pictures of this. We finished off the day by walking around the French Quarter a little more, peeking into shops, and then took a stroll by Bourbon St. It was completely torn up for construction, so I was glad we spent our one evening on Frenchman St instead. Bourbon just would have been way too hard to navigate, the whole middle of the street was just trashed and there was buldozers everywhere and big fences up with black cloth so you couldn’t see what they were working on. It took away from the experience a little bit, but I don’t think Bourbon St is my cup of tea anyways (get it, Frenchmen St, the French Quarter... tea...) Oh yeah, and I came across this somewhere near Bourbon St. If you don’t get it, don’t worry about it.
However, the St Louis cathedral in Jackson Square was gorgeous. It was really sad to see our flag at half-mast, as always. It’s hard being in a big city after such a devestating event, you really look at people and the world a whole lot diffrently. Not always in a bad way, but you realize how often you take things for granted. I do my best not to. I try to be the best I can be to everybody I know. The world will know peace once we all treat one another the way that we would like to be taken care of.
We then ended our day by stopping at the French open-air market before hitting the road to Texas. It was neat to see, but we didn’t find too much. I know I said before that I’m a souvenier junkie. Well, it all starts to get to be the same after a while.
We had a hard time finding a hotel on our way through Texas towards Austin. We had to go through Houston, and didn’t even think about the fact that the hotels would be all booked up from all of the relocating. We had a stressful time trying to figure something out for about an hour, but we ended up being able to find something about a half hour back in the direction we came from. In my opinion, that was us getting lucky! We had a pleasant sunset coming in, though.
Now for some reason, I have hardly any pictures from Texas at all. I don’t really remember getting into San Antonio because I had a really weird and concerning thing going on. I got car sick, not only from Maga’s driving, but I just can’t be a passenger in a vehicle anymore. I get sick if I’m not driving, usually. But we were about to come into busy, rush hour and big city traffic, so I wanted to drive, and I didn’t want to feel sick anymore. Well, when I started driving it got a lot worse. I think I needed to eat or something... I don’t remember anything and accidentally cut off a two part bus. Whoops. I’m okay thought and feel a lot better ever since.
We stopped in San Antonio for the river walk. I didn’t care to see the Alamo. Maga had seen it once before, and I’m sure the history is pretty amazing, but all it is really is a building that you can’t even go inside of. So for the sake of time and what not, I said let’s skip it. But the river walk was beautiful, and it was a nice hot sunshiny day, yet again. We’ve still been so lucky with the weather. I am concerned for New Orleans with this hurricane Nate though... the whole city is literally a bowl. A bowl with poor drainage and pumping systems. With a literal huge river that lies ABOVE everything. Where do you think the floodplain goes?! Alright.
We then drove to Austin. I had to beg Maga to go to the Congress St bridge. Haven’t heard of it? It houses 1M-1.5M Mexican bats. I guess in the summer months they come out all at once at dusk and it’s supposed to be amazing. Google a picture! Maga is afraid of bats, but I wanted to go so bad and had to pull her arm. I feel horrible because the bats didn’t really come out and we had to pay for parking and navigating through downtown Austin is no fun. But there was so many people out waiting on the bridge! The bats did come out a little bit, but stayed below the bridge. It was so dark at this point and they were hard to see. But I did see some bats!
Then we thought it would be a good idea to spend the rest of the evening on 6th St, because we heard that that’s where things are happening. Well, this was on a Thursday, which was college night. And a lot of these bars are actually 18+ clubs. BUT we had a great time at the bars that we went to. The first bar had an awesome rock cover band and an amazing rooftop with two bars and games in the back. The next place we went to was a rock n’ roll dueling piano place, and we made some nice friends there who started out as just a stranger buying our drinks for us. He wasn’t creepy, wasn’t hitting on us. Crazy right? A genuine guy who teaches martial arts to little kids who have black belts, makes his own moonshine, whiskey, and vodka, and is studying business. He says that he tries to always do acts of goodness to strangers, in order to “return the favor” of other people doing nice things for him. We thought that was pretty cool. There may have also been some drunk pizza eating involved in our night during the uber ride back...
The next day, we got some good local coffee at some Monkey something or other place, and then went to a really awesome and ritzy outdoor mall. Maga may or may not have dropped some cash. I like it when she spoils herself, she deserves it. We got lunch at this place called Yard Bar - an actual dog park BAR. And small restaurant. It was so cool! You have to eat outside of the actual fenced in part of the park, but you can drink anywhere. It was another lovely day out, dogs everywhere having a blast and their owners hanging out in the sunshine drinking drinks. What a great idea.
We then spent that night in Lubbock I think? Tried to cover as much ground as we could on our way to Colorado. It was late, Maga and I got Chipotle, and thats that.
I apologize for the lack of pictures for these past few days for us. We must have been real busy? But this last week and a half of our travels consist of a lot of parks, so you’ll see way more pictures, I promise! I am SO excited to get to Colorado (we’ve been in Texas for like three days) and finally see some red rocks. Woo!
Ki 10/4-10/6
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