#may the universe be kinder to you and other members

[yandere-daydreams]

If we are going vaguely medieval au I propose Nanami as the very exhausted master of the coin trying to regulate all of prince gojos spending habits, and who keeps the member of some minor noble house that in severe dept to the crown, in his quarters. After all you came here willingly to try to beg for some sort of extension on your family debts, so it's perfectly reasonable for him to slap a ring on your finger, eat you out when he comes home stressed, and hide the fact that in the end your family has to face their repercussions for owing the crown. But it doesn't matter, you bear his name now, so you're nice and safe

there truly is not universe wherein that poor man isn't chronically overworked T-T at least, in this world, he knows that after every long day tending to the national treasury and tailoring the frivolous king's desires to better suit that month's allotted budget, he can drag his weary head home to you - his sweet light spouse, an angel descended from the heavens for no other purpose than to bake and sing and remain so blissfully unaware of the troubles outside the walls of his modest, countryside estate. he'd never ask you to tend to him, but you make sure he always come home to warm meal and a soft place to rest his feet and, best of all, a welcoming body to bury himself within as he works out that day's frustrations. it's a selfish thought, but if he had it his way, there'd be no moment where some part of him wasn't connected to some part of you - whether it's his fingers intertwined with yours or your lips wrapped around his cock as he reviews the king's coffer's for the thousandth time. were the world a kinder place, he'd never have to go a moment without your company. it's a shame that it's not.

that's why your little home has to be as warm as it is, as safe as it is. that's why, when you gather your courage and ask him about the family you once bargained on behalf of, he can never quite find the resolve to tell you that they were executed only days after your wedding, that the childhood home you speak so fondly of was torn down and the property gifted to one of the king's favored lords, that there's nothing left for you outside of these walls save for a loving husband and all the many things he can provide to you. he may be burdened with the knowledge of your futile sacrifice, but you don't have to be so weighed down. the only thing that should ever cross your mind is how best to please your doting, loving husband - lest he be forced to resort to more taxing methods of preserving his little slice of perfection.

[giglio-nero-e-bianco]

COTL Deathmaid AU

The Lamb's cult has grown to be it's own kingdom, the cult is known by everyone on land and the knowledge that the former Bishops are not only part of it but they're also the most loyal members has angered quite a few heretics.

There's many families that dedicated their whole existence and generations to serving the Bishops, so they have a deep hatred towards the Lamb, they think that they did something to their Bishops to make them so loyal and if they destroy the cult then everything will go back to the way it was before.

So there's many heretic attacks to the cult whenever the Lamb is out on crusades, what they don't count in is the fact that there's someone in charge on the cult when the leader's out: The high priest and the Lamb's husband... Dressed as a maid.

This throws heretics for a loop, they think less of him and attack confidently.

But you see, Narinder is the cult's maid, he's in charge of cleanup, housekeeping, he has to clean the grounds from the disasters the cultists make, from caught spies and from heretics that attack his home, I mean, who else but the maid is going to scrub the blood on the floor left by the heretics before the Lamb comes back?

Here's a few details of the AU:

While it was the Lamb's idea for Nari to wear the maid dress, Narinder is the one who modified it and made it shorter, he says it's to make it more practical, but deep down he knows he just felt bonita in the dress.

The Lamb also gifts a lot of gold to Narinder, but he only uses it on special occasions, wearing only his earrings on a daily basis.

Narinder fell in love when he was still a god, and while angry at the Lamb's betrayal, he still said yes to the marriage proposal given to him the second he appeared in the cult.

The night their daughter Luci's egg was conceived, it was Nari who laid the egg... Even tho he wasn't the bottom that night. But you'll catch the Lamb dead before them going through labor, lol (something something god power so we'll do it like seahorses)

Also, they want to try for another baby in the future, maybe the next time they'll get a little kitten or a baby lamb, but don't get them wrong, they love their daughter with all their soul.

The crown is just a tsundere tbh

They're the one who wanted Narinder and Lamb together in the first place, they actually finds them adorable and loves their little shitten (no one touch her, that's their niece, back off), but they find it funnier to make them angry.

The crown loves to mess with both, third wheels when they start to get all romantic in front of them and often interrupts them to ruin the moment, but when they feel like it, they'll just stand back and see the lovely couple in front of them, maybe they deserve it from time to time.

The Goat basically lives with them, they destroyed their own universe seeking for revenge, only to find out after killing everything that that wasn't gonna bring their kin back, so they went to find what they were missing, traveling to another universe to find this answer.

Only to find their alter version making out with their own version of TOWW.

They lived in the cult for a while, living the results of what their life would've been like if they had taken other choices... And before they knew, they found comfort, familiarity, calmness, they even found love in this version of Shamura, can you believe that? Shamura! That spider was the Goat's TOWW, but here? They were a far kinder version of his own Shamura, just as stunning, a bit easier for their mind to get lost in memories, but they found out that they didn't mind holding their hand while helping them remember.

Shamura is just a silly little guy / gn.

They love to tease their siblings, they always win on board games, they love to read to the kids on the nursery, they show their love to the Goat by trapping them in spider web.

But if you see them acting weird, don't follow them, they may be trapped in a memory of their Bishop days, just let their siblings handle it.

All it took for Leshy to fall in love was a flower, Theon was new to the cult, so Leshy being down bad offered to be the one show him around the place. He was the one who offered Theon to be part of the gardeners and taught him everything he knows about plants. Leshy fell first, Theon fell harder. You'll have a better chance to find Leshy not making a mess than to find the cat not following him around everywhere.

Also, Leshy's flower is indicative of his mood and health.

They have their own abomination baby (Put that Transmasc Leshy drug in my veins)

Heket's been dating Forneus since she was still a Bishop, but hid this from her siblings because she knew they were going to try and embarrass her in front of her wife at any given chance. However they had to take a break when Shamura took Aym and Baal away, Forneus didn't blame Heket for it, but it was hard to look at her.

After the Lamb resurrected the kittens, they dragged her to Forneus to make up and make out, and so they gave it another chance. Heket is a good step-mom to Aym and Baal, she's the parent that stepped up frfr.

Heket rules the kitchen, that's her domain, not even the Lamb has a say there, don't test her or you'll be tomorrow's dinner.

Kallamar, dear Kallamar, a total diva, he loves his jewelry and putting some make-up on when the day looks like it'll be a chill one. Has 6 spouses and he makes sure to give love to every single one of them, he doesn't even have a favorite! I mean, just because Witness Astaroth gets more time and gifts than the rest of spouses doesn't mean they're the favorite, of course not!

Refuses to date cats because he's special, unique and out of the mold that his younger siblings are.

Also, Ratau and Red Fox are ex-boyfriends because I can't live without some toxic yaoi, even less if it's old men yaoi.

[pianocat939]

Celina! I just had the weirdest idea!

Coralline au!

M/c lives in a world identical-if not exact- to ours…

But!

There is a small door in m/c’s room that takes them to the rottmnt dimension.

The turtles are the ‘beldams’ of the story, the only difference being their world isn’t a fake trap used to kidnap children and devour their souls. Their world is literally rottmnt only they are yanderes with button eyes. Also every other character that isn’t one of the turtles is strangely not there-

M/c’s home dimension- to help follow some of the plot from Coraline- kinda sucks. Neglectful parents who are so strung up in their work, they don’t notice m/c. M/c would live in a two-story small house (mainly because I don’t know how I would fit the other characters into this, so they don’t exist here).

M/c loves rottmnt, and so finding a doorway that leads them to a parallel universe with the rise characters only they have sewn on button eyes would surely make m/c really happy at first, given her current circumstances. Yeah sure, they act a little different and kinder compared to the show, but they seem really nice! What’s the worst that could come from staying a little longer?

I can imagine the turtles seeing m/c as their own kin- but not in the delusional “ I am related to you by blood way. More in a “you are our adopted sibling/child” kind of way. They believe they should be the ones to take care of m/c because, clearly, their parents aren’t doing that good of a job at it.

I also wanted a huge motivator for the turtles going platonic yandere on m/c, so I decided to add a bit of angst to this au. Everyone but the turtles is dead, minus background characters.Either by the Shredder or Krang, they are all dead. Or they never existed in this world! Either way, m/c still has no answer as the turtles never talk about them.

Also, Donnie has most likely already stalked m/c before their arrival in their world, which allows the other turtles to already have crucial knowledge on m/c that will aid them in their goals. Poor m/c still hasn’t noticed the cameras-

Once m/c realizes what is going on, it would be far too late to stop it. M/c’s only contacts in their world is their parents, and they won’t believe m/c! Though, it may not be too hard to convince them, seeing as they are already kidnapped and locked away-

The only thing m/c can even do to escape is run and hope to find a new caretaker, because they ain’t getting their parents back from the turtles. I guess the other option is to re-enter the other-world, which would most likely result in m/c being tied down whilst Mikey stitches buttons on their eyes don’t worry, Donnie has already gave them something to make them go numb. They don’t feel a thing physically!

Now, let’s say m/c somehow freed her parents and escaped. Now, m/c would have to burn down the entire house and find a new place to live, because they WILL find a way to get through the door if it is intact. Though, this may not even save m/c, because Donnie could easily make another one in their new home…

(Is this good? I hope it is. I love how we both just torture m/c with fictional mutant turtles with superpowers-)

Yes, it's very detailed! It's great.

Tw: restraints, implied forced surgery(?),

"Look at you! So pretty with your button eyes!" Mikey holds your face in his hands. "Now you're officially a member of the family!" His grin is wide, and a sense of glee is evident on his face.

"Yeah, you have a nice pair of buttons, bud." Raph also smiles at you, kneeling down to be closer to your eye level. His onyx, dead button "eyes" stare back at you. "I'm so happy to have you as our new member."

Leo strokes your head, "No more having to go back to the place...That wretched place where your so-called parents harboured you. But it's alright, no more having to be neglected by them! You'll just be coddled with all the brotherly and parental love you deserve!" His expression darkens when he mentions your parents, malice seeping through his words.

"And as a celebration and in memory of this wonderful event-" Donnie turns his back to you, his metal spider arm holding his phone, "Say 'Buttoning!'" Everybody poses as the camera clicks, cheering the word 'Buttoning!' alongside Donatello.

But you...You weren't smiling in the picture, you had a look of horror. Restrained in Mikey's chains, unable to speak in fear of what they would do.

[tiptapricot]

well now i does is have to know your transfem marc thoughts

TWO OF YOU! Ok. Ok I will talk ab it.

SO. Transfem Marc is this headcanon I’ve had for a while that I have a hard time explaining. He just has the vibes for it? Something about leaning into masculinity so hard it feels like it circles back to not being a dude, along with some other stuff.

(Talk of sys’s trauma, Marc’s bad coping, and some talk of sex and kink at end but not super explicit or in depth so you can skip if needed)

To start, Marc is a gruff man, he’s a guy who represses his emotions and his mental health issues and his trauma. He’s autistic and masks heavily, scared of emotional intimacy and the ways that being different can make you a target. He wears simple bland clothes that are predictable and reliable and don’t stand out. He went to the military, then into mercenary work, then into the service of a god. He has spent so much of his life fitting into boxes and predetermined expectations for how he should be, burying his feelings under violence and anger and emotional repression.

And there’s just a vibe there.

That’s sort of where it started for me, along with occasionally thinking of gender headcanons for the sys members (which is a whole other post). Marc had this flavor to him I couldn’t really name? He wasn’t a cis man, even though he appeared like one, and while I love transmasc MK sys headcanons and do have that as a side pocket headcanon, there was also just… woman vibes?? Truly idk.

Then I started fleshing out my expanded system roster and worked out my version of Inner Child from the Ultimate Marvel universe, and like… that is a little girl inside them. A kid to hold their innocence and place in childhood, the idealized self away from what they experienced. And she’s a girl.

I just kept reflecting on that, on what that piece of them meant. Women are socially and stereotypically seen as more innocent than men, as kinder, softer, so maybe it’s that, maybe just their brain finding a child they couldn’t be to maintain what they didn’t have. A separation for projection. A little girl who got through things instead of a little boy. But that… again there’s just this feeling to me of more.

Cause also like… Marc could never be that. He didn’t get the chance to be that. He was beaten into the shape of a little boy who was wrong. Was the one who had the name of their body, the weight of being the person everyone thought they were. And he had to keep doing that far into their adulthood. Be the Man, the Soldier, the Husband. There’s a safety in masculinity, one he can keep hold of, a script he’s always known and doesn’t have to think about with everything else going on. Being a man makes it easier, or at least feels like it does, but it’s a performance, a role he’s taken on for protection.

Boxes and boundaries and forcing yourself into a role that does not fully encapsulate you is an experience that connects with so many people, so many lives and states of self, but I just couldn’t shake trans vibes. And then it’s like. Where do you go from there?

Because if that is the case for Marc and we look at him through that lens, then… man.

It would be something that grows. Deep down there’s this niggling feeling he can’t place, and doesn’t want to because it means too much, opens too many avenues.

How can he recognize that facet of himself, that he may not be fully A Man, when thats just something else to make him different, something else to make him incorrect, something else to come to terms with when he doesn’t have the time.

How can he recognize that facet of himself when that’s one of the last lines of separation between him and Wendy.

He doesn’t want to feel closer to her, doesn’t want to feel more like her than he “already is.”

He sees his bad habits, his own stubbornness and anger and brashness, how he hurts those close to him, how he drinks when he’s angry and grieving and can’t put the bottle down. He’s too close. And so manhood is a way to distance himself, to not feel like a piece of her is lodged in him, is inescapable, that he is becoming the woman who hurt him.

But being a woman, sometimes, in some ways…Maybe that’s just him. And restricting that, holding it back, is the real thing that would echo Wendy’s hurt. Embracing the woman Marc has made himself ignore and finding his arms around himself and knowing he doesn’t have to be scared of her… it’s healing.

Part of it may be how he formed, that need for separation, that maybe a daughter would’ve been treated better than a son, or maybe it was always something in that young child, a space that didn’t fit that he held on to. He can’t know for sure, but it doesn’t really matter. I think he’d try to rationalize it some, think about it in regards to why he exists and how he was shaped, but in the end… he exists how he does either way, feels what he does either way, wants what he does either way. That won’t change.

(Mild sex/kink talk, skip to asterisks if needed)

Though not how I always imagine it playing out (I have a lot of various headcanon timelines in my head that are not always existing at once) I think one of the ways this discovery could get pushed forward could be via crossdressing play with Layla. They go into it in an attempt to test out how letting go of hypermasculine roles may help Marc let go of control, let go of tension and expectation, and it just… hits. It broils something up in Marc’s gut that is warm and confusing and overwhelming. Layla calls him a good girl, calls him pretty, loves him in that way, and for a moment he realizes how much he wants that, how it floods him with a relief of not having to hold onto a singular role anymore. And it just… forces those questions into the forefront, makes him think about them, grapple with them, try and explore them.

********

I don’t see Marc as a trans woman. I kind of place him in this bi-gender/gender fluid kind of space. Sometimes he’s a man, but sometimes he’s a woman too. Not a super feminine one. He still uses Marc and doesn’t get deep into heavy makeup or wigs or dresses, but maybe some lipstick or eyeliner, some looser hair now and then, a change in pronouns. He’s a woman because he is, and not when he’s not. Maybe has bracelets to signal how he feels since he’s not great at communicating wants and boundaries in words.

Maybe it goes further over time, but he also seems like the type of person, an older, complicated, queer person, who still sticks to what he knows, and understanding and engaging with himself authentically within that is enough.

Overall just… transfem Marc settles in right for me. A realization of identity that didn’t surface until so late because there was so much else he had to keep himself afloat through, and recognizing that there was more (just like we see with his ignoring of Jake) would’ve been too much to handle. But when it’s able to be real, when he’s able to touch that piece of himself and recognize it’s there, it’s a huge step in his growth and acceptance, in releasing the tension of hiding that he’s gotten so used to.

So yeah :-)

(Id for ask screenshot in ALT)

[coldslaws-gear-station]

Odd idea for Beta Z's name; Zepto

It's a metric prefix that's usually defined by the symbol "z", it's also in the - base 10 numbers, specifically 10-²¹ while n on the system is 10-⁹ (Nano). It would've been interesting to make it the opposite of n, which would be 10⁹, but that's Giga and idk if a Zoroark named Giga is a good idea-

Idk, when I think "what would an N name their Pokemon?" I immediately think "Numbers." Also metric prefixes have cool names sometimes so

- 💌

ohhhh fuck this is actually a super cool idea i like it!! i dunno how well exactly it works but it is super cute sobs

thing about beta z is that she actually gets to spend much less time with n, at least growing up in the castle. she was with him in there for maybe just a few years at most, at least until ghetsis grew more brazen with his mistreatment of n (n being abused wasn't an immediate thing, it was a slow burn of escalation). at which point, during one of the points ghetsis chose to punish n through food restriction, z grew desperate and had n help her into one of the vents in his room so she could go look for food around the castle

but she was quickly caught by members of team plasma, and entirely fed up with her interference, ghetsis opted to beat her senseless, drive a ways away, and leave her for dead. killing her outright would be too nice of a treatment for something that did nothing but pester him. or maybe, if im still considering a ghetsis who thinks hes doing the right thing, he thinks somehow leaving her barely alive is kinder. he's just teaching her a lesson, after all. like he does with n

anyways when he comes back to the castle, he doesn't say anything about what he did. he just slowly lets it dawn on the boy that their friend has been gone for a while now. maybe he even asks about it. where did z go? why, i don't even remember her leaving your room.. what's with that vent there, hm? and he lets fester the idea that z may have abandoned n.

some good samaritan finds z and nurses her back to health. and years pass. because of z's experience with abuse and scared children, she actually becomes an emotional support and therapy pokémon, which is uncommon for zorua due to their propensity for mischief. z becomes a faded memory in n's mind, while z aches for n almost every day, though neither ever fully forget each other. she even tried to return to him at some point, but given the hidden nature of the castle, she was never able to

and after everything happens and n is brought out on parole, alder decides it might be beneficial to introduce n to some kind of therapy pokemon who also suffered, but loves humans still. enter z. n doesn't even recognize her when they reunite, it takes quite a bit for him to realize that this is the zorua he ran around with in the forest and the castle

so basically since she had basically an entirely different trainer (or trainers, as she was used moreso to educate on abuse and recovery and did a lot of traveling, like you see with some therapy dogs irl), she probably has a far different name than one that shares a motif with n like the typical z does

though bn also has a male zoroark he uses to fight his battles with, maybe he could be zepto, or maybe bz opts to rename herself to match n like she does back when they were little on rh and nhp. i think that last idea would be really cute actually, having this bond between them be a throughline between universes

[inland--empire]

G’ appearing as a moving shadow on a wall to startle a strict parent and make two bored children laugh. G’ as the vast figure on the horizon of a civilization too powerful for their own good, crafting their own sky into what will undo them just enough to teach them to be kinder on the next go around. G’ as formless, incorporeal consciousness drifting through a newborn universe, watching with no eyes as the first stars set themselves alight, smiling with no mouth as dust becomes rocks become planets become homes. G’ having tea with the Caretaker on afternoons that may be mornings or nights, catching one another up on what is happening in the countless worlds of the Multiverse and in the quietest corners of the Space Between. G’ hand in hand with the last inhabitant of a planet that has reached its end, reminiscing together about its history, about every terrible and wonderful memory made here. G’ sitting on a train Somewhere on a far future Earth, capable of instantly transporting himself anywhere in time and space but always favoring to place the journey on even footing with a destination. G’, a respected if a little eccentric member of fifth-dimensional society, always getting questions on what life among beings so small is like, and always replying that no other experience makes you quite so proud and quite so humble all at once. G’ in his true form standing over an existence of his own creation, shaping matter and stirring energy from his fingertips, defining rules to be studied someday, bending orbits into loops and galaxies into spirals. G’ as a kind stranger that you asked for directions many years on a road among a million others that, in retrospect, seemed to strangely know exactly where you need to go. G’, the Overseer of Our Worlds, the dreamer of all possibilities, the wandering god, the miracle worker with a million faces, the guide, the mentor, the parental figure, the friend.

Just… G’.

He's so amazing...

[cloudssoftcontainmentzone]

Promo

Welcome to Cloud's Kindness Containment!

We are a Tumblr blog dedicated to showcasing a universe where all SCPs are treated with love and compassion by our resident persona, Cloud. In this alternate reality, even the most dangerous anomalies have found solace in Cloud's gentle care and have been transformed into friendly and cuddly creatures.

Join us on this journey as we explore a world where SCPs are no longer feared and contained, but instead are given a second chance to live happy and fulfilling lives. We believe that all parahumans deserve love and acceptance, regardless of their origin or abilities.

Here at SCP: Secure, Cuddly, and Protected!, we aim to create a supportive and caring community for all those who share our vision. We encourage everyone to participate and share their ideas and stories with us.

So come on in, and let's discover together a kinder, gentler universe where even the most unusual creatures can find a place to belong.

Thank you for visiting, and we hope you enjoy your stay!

SCPs

SCP-173

Bio: Once a neck snapping peanut SCP-173 has been turned into a friendly, kind, gentle, and curious SCP. SCP-173 can now move and he is very friendly to the Foundation and safe to go around now and shows carefulness to others and it really likes hugging people to show affection. SCP-173 shows to protect whoever it is friends with especially Cloud.

"Talks like this."

SCP-096

Bio: SCP-096, also known as "Shy Guy," is a humanoid entity measuring approximately 2.38 meters in height. It has pale white skin and a large mouth with sharp teeth, but unlike in its original state, it now possesses a kind and friendly demeanor.

Thanks to Cloud's kind and compassionate care, SCP-096 has been rehabilitated and no longer poses a threat to anyone who views its face. In fact, SCP-096 now enjoys interacting with people and has become a beloved member of the SCP community.

"Talks like this"

SCP-106

Bio: SCP-106, also known as "The Old Man," was once a human being who possessed anomalous abilities. He has the ability to "corrode" anything he touches, causing it to rapidly deteriorate and become unusable.

However, thanks to Cloud's rehabilitation efforts, SCP-106 has been transformed back into his original human form. Although he retains his anomalous abilities, he now uses them for good instead of harm.

SCP-106 has become a valuable member of the SCP community in your AU, using his powers to help contain other dangerous anomalies by neutralizing them without causing permanent harm. He has also developed a close bond with Cloud, who has helped him come to terms with his past and move forward into a brighter future.

Despite his past as an SCP, SCP-106 is now respected and appreciated by the SCP community for his unique abilities and his dedication to using them for the greater good.

"Talks like this"

Cloud

Bio: Cloud is a persona who possesses the unique ability to bring out the best in people, even those who are considered dangerous or monstrous. In this SCP AU, Cloud has become a beloved figure in the SCP community for his kind and compassionate approach to rehabilitation. No one knows where Cloud came from, or how he gained his abilities. Some speculate that he may be a manifestation of the collective desire for a kinder and gentler world, while others believe that he is a parahuman with an as-yet-unknown classification.

Regardless of his origins, Cloud has become a powerful force for good in SCP. He has worked tirelessly to rehabilitate even the most dangerous anomalies, helping them to overcome their pasts and find new purpose in life. His efforts have led to a significant reduction in SCP-related incidents, and he is widely respected and admired by the SCP community.

Despite his seemingly endless reserves of kindness and compassion, Cloud is not without his flaws. He can be stubborn and single-minded at times, and his idealistic approach to rehabilitation has occasionally put him at odds with more pragmatic members of the SCP community. Nevertheless, his dedication to making the world a better place has earned him the admiration and respect of all who know him.

"Talks like this"

[grapesodadarkchocolate]

September 21, 2023

“The personal is the universal.” — Carl Rogers

Dearest Richard,

War isn’t the answer to my “why”? Why I ventured into your story. I wasn’t wanting to talk about war strategy or battles fought and won. Or even about B-24’s versus B-17’s, discussing the merits of either plane. Hitler and the Nazi military desperately needed to be stopped. The horror of the Holocaust continues to reverberate beyond any assumptions of what humans could or can possibly do to one another. I am not wanting to discount any of it, but I do want to address the essence of my intent. I entered in, going through that infamous box, because of you and mom. I continued with your story because I saw how your single story opened up a connection with so many other stories. I saw more of the impact war had on mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, husbands and wives, children and friends. It isn’t simply about a single war, it is about all wars as they are linked together by trauma. Story allows history to become more obtainable. More tangible. More real. War is never the solution. It may be what is offered at the end of a rope when nothing else seems to work. 

I wonder if you and all your comrades, those service members who died in battle were to rise up from their graves, what would you want us to know? All of you. If we were to listen with the intent to truly understand your message, what would you want us to hear? I realize it isn’t a simple answer. Humans are complex and in turn so is conflict. I realize it can begin in the here and now in the moment with those closest to us. Being kinder in all actions offered. 

I would like to know what you think.

Love, 

Your Niece, aka Barbara Walters

The one always brimming with questions. 

P.S. Here is a photo of my sisters and I on our family trip to Germany and Austria circa 1978. The trip that brought us closer to your crash site, we just didn’t know that yet. Mom filled in our names. Ha, ha, Martha Jane. 

[purplesurveys]

1740

When was the last time you’ve gone shopping with a friend?  June – Reena and I went crazy at the Chatuchak market. By the end of the night I literally had street food on one hand and shopping bags on the other hand/lining up my wrist haha.

It sounds reckless saying it like that, but I never ever devote that much energy and money to shopping to begin with; so for that one night I allowed myself to have fun and get at least one thing for each loved one.

If you’re not already, when do you plan on getting married?  I honestly don't plan on it anymore. I don't mind being on my own for the rest of my life.

Do you like your nose?  I've been told that it's cute but I personally don't have strong feelings towards it, and I don't get why Filipinos are so passionately judgy about flat and sharp noses either.

Are you one of those people who listen to songs on repeat?  Not usually! Only time I do so these days is when a BTS member comes out with a new song, and I've never disliked anything any one of them has put out so these songs just naturally end up as repeat-worthy for me.

Is there an accent you prefer?  Not really.

Would you date the lead singer of a band?  No. That's essentially like being in a long-distance relationship, which I've never had and subsequently wouldn't know how to handle.

Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school?  From kinder to high school, yes. That's why college felt so liberating the second I stepped into my university haha. I was wearing shorts by my first week.

Have you ever visited a sex shop?  I have.

How many cousins do you have? What are their names?  Only counting first cousins, 12. The list of cousins would technically never end, especially if you're Filipino.

Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal?  Kind of. I was in a mini safari once and this big bird that was freely walking around suddenly went for me when they saw me using my camera. My stance/form may have looked threatening so I fully blame myself here, but anyway I just tried to stay as calm as possible when they started pecking all over my feet until a guide noticed us and led the bird away.

Have you ever had sex in a kitchen?  Never went beyond making out.

Which part of your state/province do you live in?  The westernmost part, already bordering Metro Manila.

Who in your life can you count on the most?  My mom and sister.

Have you ever wanted to be the opposite gender?  I guess, when I had been an annoying teenager who thought girly things were annoying.

What’s a fictional being you would like to be? Like a vampire, an elf, etc.  Idk, maybe vampire. It'd be cool to be a Cullen just so I can also live in a nice big house and so that all I have to do is repeat high school over and over again lol.

Do you like frogs?  Well, not particularly. I don't dislike them, but you can say I'm scared of them. We have a lot of them in our neighborhood and we've even had a couple actually make it inside our home a few times.

What’s the creepiest thing someone has ever done to you?  So I was at a party with some friends, and it was like 3 AM when we decided to get out of the bar and get some air. To describe the setup, the bar we stayed at was part of a bigger complex of just bars and clubs, so at that point – 3 AM – everyone was naturally super drunk, vomiting all over the place, staggering, etc. We were just walking when all of a sudden this clearly intoxicated dude just started going for me with a super rapey look in his eyes and it was the single most unsettling thing I've ever experienced. I have never pulled away from a gaze and walked away quicker in my whole life.

Does being scared or nervous make you need to poop?  IT REALLY DOES. Holy shit this is my least favorite thing to go through at work. LOL I always feel like taking a shit moments before I enter a call or present a deck, even though I've been doing the same routine for three years already. I never get used to it.

Does it bother you when dogs lick you?  It has never bothered me and I don't think it ever will.

Have you ever lost a nail completely for any reason? What happened?  Yeah, my toenails. I used to play competitive table tennis in high school and my toes always took a beating from the games.

Have you ever had any experience with alcoholism?  Not me but I have seen it happen to a few family members which is a big reason why my childhood years are a part of my life that I do not look back fondly and proudly on. I hated the idea of alcohol and I judged everyone who drank for years because of all the trauma, until I got to try it for myself – it was then that I realized that those relatives were just stupidly unable to handle their alcohol.

How often do you see family members that you don’t live with?  It depends on who. My grandma and some of my cousins live in the village next to ours so we see each other, like, every Sunday lol; but I have family who live in other provinces or other countries altogether that I see much more infrequently.

What color eyes do your pet(s) have?  Black.

If you could have a car in any color, which color would you choose?  I have a white car now and have no other preference.

Do you plan to vote in the next election?  Yes.

Have you ever used anything unusual to masturbate with before? If so, what?  Nope.

Who is the last person that saw you naked?  I think it was just my ex.

Are you more likely to give a hickey to someone else or get one?  It can go either way tbh.

What is something you want but can’t afford to buy?  A condo unit.

Do you usually eat wheat bread or white bread, or are you gluten-free?  White.

What type of church do you like the most, if any?  I'm not interested in churches at all, not even the architectural aspect of it. Even if I found myself in a place known for their churches, like Italy or Spain, I will skip out on the churches. Just reminds me too much of religion.

Was anyone rude to you today?  No.

Do you think you would be happier if you had more money?  Yes.

What is something currently on your wishlist from Etsy?  I've never been on Etsy.

Have you or have you ever considered messing around with the same sex? I did.

What is your opinion on same sex marriage?  I support it, always have.

What are your opinions on stretched ears? Would you ever do it? Do you like it on other people?  I think they look horrendous but people can do what they want to their own bodies. It’s none of my business. < Same.

Your ex, do they still like you?  No.

Think back to your last relationship. Was it worth it? No, they turned out to be correct in that it should have ended 2-3 years earlier than it did. I was just too stubborn and idealistic to see past all the ugly parts of it.

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?  Yeah. I probably wouldn't be too thrilled about it LOL but I mean alcohol is easy to ignore at the end of the day.

Have you pretended to like someone?  No...never been stuck in that situation.

Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?  It did not.

Who did you last see in person?  My mom.

What is the last thing you said out loud? "You're fine with your ear like that?" to Cooper – he was sleeping with one ear dunked in his water bowl hahaha.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?  Yes. I usually prefer to be transparent, but if I need to be more reserved then I can do that as well.

Have you ever regretted kissing someone?  Uh, not really, no.

Have you ever been to New York?  Nope.

What is one thing you will never do again?  Hike.

What happened the last time you cried?  I was watching the Chris Candido episode of Dark Side of the Ring. I knew about his death, but I just never knew how his was all too similar to Eddie Guerrero's – harbored a drug addiction, decided to clean up, and having your life cut short just as you get your act together. Shitty situation altogether.

Also fuck Sunny.

What would your parents be surprised to learn about you?  I used to do voice memos in the few months following my breakup, which was my way of letting all my thoughts and anguish and sadness out. I had no money for a therapist and I didn't want to bother anybody whenever I cried – and this was in 2020 when the world froze – so I would just turn the mic on and let myself process my emotions out loud to my phone. I never listened to them and it was strictly a way for me to just have a venue to talk and talk and talk.

What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on?  Patch from the Hush, Hush series hahahah. Also Han Jipyeong from Start-Up :(

What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it?  Going to Wrestlemania 50. That's a childhood dream and a literal once-in-a-lifetime experience, so I would be very devastated if things didn't work out for me.

What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?  Give a considerable portion to my parents, and to also beg them not to tell anyone.

If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around?  MAYONNAISE.

What is your weirdest dealbreaker?  Not adventurous with food. Pickiness is fine, but if they like eating the same, like, 10 things and/or find street food gross then that's a gigantic pet peeve.

What was your favorite TV show as a kid?  Spongebob.

What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person?  Body hair, I guess? Not excessive though.

What is the scariest experience you have ever had?  Driving through Manila with 2% cellphone battery. NEVER AGAIN.

Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free wifi wherever you go, for the rest of your life?  This survey sounds like it was made in like 2010 when free wifi was actually a dream for us hahaha. Anyway, no I would not give up a finger – data is so easy to purchase these days lol.

[limeyfizz]

YAY @legendling

Ok basically this is Alpha!!!! (This is old design btw, i don't have any art yet of their new design but i will soon)

They are banana color :D

(I'm gonna put the rest of this under the cut because i started typing and then realized it was gonna be LOOOOONG)

Uh yeah so they're kind of a shapeshifterish species? I should explain that first before I actually talk about them lol sorry if it's hard to understand

Pretty much they are "spawned" in a random spot anywhere in the universe, usually on planets with a healthy population of any species on it.

They wander around for a bit after birth, and when they find a community of a species, they "shapeshift" into that species and integrate into the community. They do this because they survive off of the energy from platonic or romantic connection!!!

There's a teensy problem, though. They aren't perfect at shapeshifting, so there's always one or two inaccuracies (for Alpha it would be their eyes and technically their lack of an arm but who said we couldn't have one-armed algebraliens)

Sadly, if they're away from their community/don't find a community after too long, they may die since there isn't enough energy to keep them going.

After they've become completely integrated into their selected community and the species as a whole, they can start setting up a "lifeline," so to say. They can teleport to the nearest member of that species when they are low on energy, whether they're in the community or not.

Here's the thing. The shapeshifter species doesn't know that they're not the species they've chosen to hang around. It's hardwired into the shapeshifter species' brains to forget that they're different, to better fit in with the community.

Now that there's bg knowledge.... Alpha!!!!

Alpha, coincidentally, spawned near the equation playground we know in xfohv!!!! They just moseyed on in and became friends with everyone, and somehow, the other algebraliens accepted them! They're kind of like the kid in the group, due to personality and also the actual age of Alpha.

They don't know Two, but they know most of the others lol.

Uhhh here's the relationships Alpha has with everyone!!! (Im not gonna include their relationships w/ one or three, one bcs we don't rlly know abt them yet and three because they only made their maybe first canon debut in tpot 11)

X: they're good friends! Alpha and X hang out a lot, but Alpha and X aren't as good friends as X and Four are.

Four: Alpha tolerates Four. They don't dislike him, they just think he's a bit much sometimes.

Five: They enjoy Five's company, and Alpha will hang out with them if X or Nine aren't around. Five thinks privately that Alpha is a little loud.

Six: Alpha has a complicated relationship with Six. They think that they're really good friends, but on Six's side, they don't like Alpha all that much, but they'll still play cards with them.

Seven: They're joke buddies, but Alpha wishes that he would be kinder.

Eight: Alpha thinks Eight is really cool and wants to be better friends with them, but is worried that Eight will think they're a loser. Eight actually thinks that Alpha's pretty cool, but doesn't want to go out of his way to be friends with them.

Nine: ALPHA'S BESTEST FRIEND!! If anyone's the person to look after or hang out with Alpha, it'll be Nine. Their chaotic energies work really well together, and Alpha sees Nine as their best friend and cool older brother. Nine would play video games and ask Alpha to be on the mic just to make people think that a kid is destroying them.

Ten: Alpha feels uneasy around ten, and a little bitter. They don't know why, but in reality, they're envious that Ten could have so many friends.

Fourteen: Fourteen has constantly tried to scare Alpha, and they're definitely scared. They're just a kid, after all.

Fifteen: Alpha hasn't met Fifteen yet, but they've heard a lot about them, and they want to be friends! Just don't tell them the truth yet.

That's it for now!!!! If you couldn't tell this is probably one of the oc's I've spent the most amount of time on lol

do you want to hear about my oc that isn't an algebralien

[starsinmylatte]

i’m in a mass effect mood so how about a femshep + garrus with “under the skylight and starlight” :) take that any way you wish <3

So, this ended up being way longer than I had originally planned. I'm so sorry it took a while, but I hope you enjoy it!! I personally headcanon that Garrus and Shepard fell for each other back in ME 1 and are just being idiots (affectionately) in love.

Pairing: Garrus Vakarian x Fem!Shepard

Rating: M for a little bit of hurt/comfort. Please remember this is an 18+ blog, so minors DNI

Length: 1.3k

Death had always been inevitable, but now it was fairly certain. Archangel was prepared to go out in a blaze of glory and take as much of Omega’s gang problem with him as possible, but deep down, Garrus Vakarian was honestly just tired. Somehow, this heroic fate seemed kinder than a life alone; one spent without his team, and worst of all, one spent without her.

Shepard had crashed into his life with the sheer force of a falling star. She was beautiful, a fierce warrior unrelentingly dedicated to saving humanity, and the most capable commander he could’ve ever hoped to serve under. How could he not have fallen for her?

Garrus may as well have been found floating in the wreckage of the Normandy because a part of him died the day Shepard was lost. His cracked heart had begun to heal over time with the love and care from his team, but when they were killed, it shattered completely.

--------

The kickback from his sniper rifle shook Garrus out of his daze. His shoulder throbbed from the repeated force. Across the bridge, a Blue Suns officer crumpled to the ground while the others yelled and dove for any available cover. The ghost of a wry smile formed on his face.

Heh. Still got it.

Suddenly, the tone of the battlefield changed. Three more figures hopped over a barricade close to the entrance, and Garrus snapped his scope in their direction.

Shit.

He focused in on the smaller figure in the lead. They seemed to be one of the outside mercenaries from the look of their armor.

Inhale.

The scope was trained for a clean headshot.

Exhale.

His finger moved to the trigger.

Suddenly, the mercenary on the right stumbled, the unexpected fall catching his eye right before he pulled the trigger.

Before Garrus could even think, the mercenary in the middle -a woman- turned back to grab their arm and pull them aside. He would’ve normally chalked it up to some kind of uncommon honor among criminals, but the red and pearlescent white N7 sigil etched into their breastplate glinted in the light as they turned.

For the first time in years, Garrus felt a sharp pang in the heart he swore he no longer had.

His hands moved before he could even think. The concussive ammo was clipped in, and one round was fired into their shoulder. The woman barely even flinched. Instead, she turned, looked knowingly in his direction, and inclined her head.

It may be a cruel joke, but at least it’s a helpful one.

Garrus sighed. Hope was a funny thing; he’d seen the wreckage of the Normandy himself, and not even Shepard could’ve survived that. Now, he’d get to see the woman humanity chose to try and take her place.

Another bullet, lethal this time, left the chamber and a Blood Pack operative crumpled. The woman led her two friends through the doors and into the first floor of the building. Garrus could hear raucous cheers from the mercenaries and gang members on the other side of the bridge.

If I’m right about this, they won’t be cheering for much longer. If I’m wrong……. I won’t exactly have much time to regret it.

As if on cue, several pairs of footsteps could be heard running up the stairs behind him. They ran through the door behind Garrus as he fired another shot. Yet another gang member fell.

Time to see if my luck has run out.

As he lowered his weapon and turned around, the woman released the latches on her helmet. The sight of fiery red hair peeking out from underneath made his heart stop. Time seemed to slow as she lifted it completely off, and, before he knew it, the face Garrus saw every night in his dreams was looking back at him expectantly.

He nearly dropped the rifle. Garrus slowly reached up to remove his own helmet, afraid she’d somehow disappear if he moved too quickly.

“Shepard….. I thought you were dead.” His normally smooth, purring voice cracked with raw emotion; he couldn’t have kept it out if he’d tried.

---------------

Garrus found Shepard where she always was after a difficult mission, the observation deck. His heart jumped again at the sight of her, a feeling he’d have to get used to again. The starlight from the large viewport was the only source of light in the room; it shone on Shepard as she gazed out into the galaxy, brows furrowed in thought.

He made it all the way over to where she sat before she turned to acknowledge his presence.

“It’s good to see you back on the Normandy,” Shepard rewarded him with a small, relaxed smile, one he only saw given to close friends. She gestured to the spot beside her.

Garrus took the invitation and sat. He had recovered enough to be walking around, but the wounds he suffered were still fresh, and the weariness from the long fight hadn’t fully left him. Shepard noticed the slight wince he tried to hide and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“You know you can go rest if you need it.”

The look of genuine concern on her face was touching.

“Shepard, you came back from the dead; my rest can wait.” Garrus paused and gestured around. “The crew, your friends, missed you… I missed you.”

That last bit accidentally slipped out before he could think. Turians didn’t blush like humans, but Garrus was sure his face would be bright red if they did. He was far from shy around women; he was usually quite the charmer, but Shepard was a special case.

For the first time since he had been back on the Normandy, Garrus actually looked closely at her face. Her expression would seem peaceful for anyone who wasn’t close to her, but there was sadness and worry hidden in her eyes. There were new scars on her face still healing from the explosion, and she seemed just as weary as he felt.

“The world wouldn’t end if you got some rest too.” Garrus looked at her pointedly before mirroring Shapard and resting his hand on her shoulder.

They sat in comfortable silence, still in their partial embrace, before she finally responded with a new mischievous glint in her eye. “Since you’re back on the Normandy now, I have your first order. Take the rest of the night off to rest.”

Garrus opened his mouth to protest, but Shepard wagged a finger at him and poked him in the shoulder. “I wasn’t finished yet, but I’m serious. Your calibrations can wait until tomorrow.”

She grinned before continuing, “Besides, I happen to be taking the rest of the night off to make sure you actually follow my order. I know how you are.”

Garrus tilted his head in mock disbelief. “I just got out of the med bay, and you’re already ordering me around?” He feigned a look of hurt, the familiar bantering purr returning to his voice. “Very well, Commander, since you insist.”

Shepard fired back, her tone still light and teasing, “Good to see that all your time as Archangel hasn’t overridden your military training yet.”

This woman is going to be the death of me.

The stars continued to shine through the viewport as they sat in comfortable, friendly silence. There was so much to talk about, so much to discuss, but, for now, there was this moment of peace carved out of a chaotic universe. There was only Garrus and Shepard, and that was more than enough.

Earlier today, life had seemed like a cruel joke, but now Garrus Vakarian would swear to anyone that he was the luckiest Turian in the entire universe. The fight was dicey, they had barely escaped, and he had a few new scars to show for it, but what was new? The most important thing was that Shepard was back in his life. Besides, some women find scars attractive…..

Join my taglist here!

Tagging some friends: @saradika @thefact0rygirl @rebelpitstop @kirsty-kiddo @hereforthesunrise @not-the-tie-youre-looking-for

[balkanradfem]

When we see a tree, we tend to think of it as a singular unit – just as we think of ourselves as individuals. But biologists have discovered that it’s not quite so simple. They have come to understand that trees depend on certain kinds of fungi in the soil: hair-thin structures called hyphae that interlace with cells in the roots of trees to form mycorrhiza. The fungi benefit by receiving someof the sugar that plants produce through photosynthesis (which it cannot otherwise make), while the trees benefit in turn by receiving elements like phosphorous and nitrogen that they cannot produce for themselves, and without which they cannot survive.

But this reciprocity is not confined to just two parties in this ancient relationship. Invisible fungal networks also connect the roots of different trees to one another, sometimes over great distances, forming an underground internet that allows them to communicate, and even to share energy, nutrients and medicine. The ecologist Robert Macfarlane explains how this works: A dying tree might divest itself of its resources to the benefit of the community, for example, or a young seedling in a heavily shaded understory might be supported with extra resources by its stronger neighbours. Even more remarkably, the network also allows plants to send one another warnings. A plant under attack from aphids can indicate to a nearby plant that it should raise its defensive response before the aphids reach it.

It has been known for some time that plants communicate above ground in comparable ways, by means of airborne hormones. But such warnings are more precise in terms of source and recipient when sent by means of the myco-net. 16 Trees co-operate. They communicate. They share. Not only among members of the same species, but across species barriers: Douglas firs and birches feed each other. And it’s not just trees; we now know that all plants – except for a handful of species – have this same relationship with mycorrhiza. Just as with our gut bacteria, these findings challenge how we think about the boundaries between species. Is a tree really an individual? Can it really be conceived as a separate unit? Or is it an aspect of a broader, multi-species organism?

There’s also something else going on here – something perhaps even more revolutionary. Dr Suzanne Simard, a professor in the department of forest & conservation at the University of British Columbia, has argued that mycorrhizal networks among plants operate like neural networks in humans and other animals; they function in remarkably similar ways, passing information between nodes. And just as the structure of neural networks enables cognition and intelligence in animals, mycorrhizal networks provide similar capacities to plants. Recent research shows that the network not only facilitates transmission, communication and co-operation – just like our neurons do – it also facilitates problem-solving, learning, memory and decision-making.

These words are not just metaphorical. The ecologist Monica Gagliano has published groundbreaking research on plant intelligence, showing that plants remember things that happen to them, and change their behaviour accordingly. In other words, they learn. In a recent interview with Forbes, she insisted: ‘My work is not about metaphors at all; when I talk about learning, I mean learning. When I talk about memory, I mean memory.’ Indeed, plants actively change their behaviour as they encounter new challenges and receive messages about the changing world around them. Plants sense: they see, hear, feel and smell, and they respond accordingly. If you’ve ever seen time-lapse footage of a vine growing up a tree, you’ll have an idea of what this looks like in action: that vine is no automaton – it’s sensing, moving, balancing, solving problems, trying to figure out how to navigate new terrain. The more we learn, the stranger (or perhaps more familiar?) it all becomes. Simard’s work shows that trees can recognise their own relatives through mycorrhizal networks. Older ‘mother’ trees can identify nearby saplings that came from their own seeds, and they use this information to decide how to allocate resources in times of stress. Simard also describes how trees seem to have ‘emotional’ responses to trauma in a way that’s not dissimilar to animals. After a machete whack or during an aphid attack, their serotonin levels change (yes, they have serotonin, along with a number of neurochemicals that are common in animal nervous systems), and they start pumping out emergency messages to their neighbours.

Of course, none of this is to say that plant intelligence is exactly like that of animals. In fact, scientists warn that our urge to constantly compare the intelligence of some species with that of others is exactly the problem: it ends up blinding us to how other kinds of intelligence might work. Set out in search of a brain and you’ll never even notice the mycorrhiza that have been pulsing through the earth, evolving right under our feet, for 450 million years. This research is just taking off, and we have no idea where it might lead. But Simard is careful to point out that it’s not exactly new: If you listen to some of the early teachings of the Coast Salish and the Indigenous people along the western coast of North America, they knew [about these insights] already. It’s in the writings and in the oral history.

The idea of the mother tree has long been there. The fungal networks, the below-ground networks that keep the whole forest healthy and alive, that’s also there. That these plants interact and communicate with each other, that’s all there. They used to call the trees the tree people … Western science shut that down for a while and now we’re getting back to it.

Trees aren’t only connected with each other. They are also connected with us. Over the past few years, research into human–tree relationships has yielded some truly striking findings. A team of scientists in Japan conducted an experiment with hundreds of people around the country. They asked half of the participants to walk for fifteen minutes through a forest, and the other half to walk through an urban setting, and then they tested their emotional states. In every case, the forest walkers experienced significant mood improvements when compared to the urban walkers, plus a decline in tension, anxiety, anger, hostility, depression and fatigue. The benefits were immediate and effective. Trees also have an impact on our behaviour. Researchers have found that spending time around trees makes people more co-operative, kinder and more generous. It increases our sense of awe and wonder at the world, which in turn changes how we interact with others. It reduces aggression and incivility. Studies in Chicago, Baltimore and Vancouver have all discovered that neighbourhoods with higher tree cover have significantly fewer crimes, including assault, robbery and drug use – even when controlling for socioeconomic status and other confounding factors.

It’s almost as though being with trees makes us more human. We don’t know quite why this happens. Is it just that green environments are somehow more pleasant and calming? A study in Poland suggests that doesn’t explain it. They had people spend fifteen minutes standing in a wintertime urban forest: no leaves, no green, no shrubbery; just straight, bare trees. One might think such an environment would have minimal if any positive impact on people’s mood, but not so: participants standing in the bare forest reported significant improvements in their psychological and emotional states when compared to a control group that spent those fifteen minutes hanging out in an urban landscape. And it’s not just mood and behaviour. It turns out that trees have an impact on our physical health too – in concrete, material terms. Living near trees has been found to reduce cardiovascular risk. Walking in forests has been found to lower blood pressure, cortisol levels, pulse rates and other indicators of stress and anxiety.

Even more intriguingly, a team of scientists in China found that elderly patients with chronic health conditions demonstrated significant improvements in immune function after spending time in forests. We don’t know for sure, but this may have something to do with the chemical compounds that trees exhale into the air. The aromatic vapours released by cypress, for example, have been found to enhance the activity of a number of human immune cells, while reducing stress hormone levels. In an attempt to quantify the overall benefit of trees, scientists in Canada found that trees have a more powerful impact on our health and well-being than even large sums of money. Having just ten more trees on a city block decreases cardio-metabolic conditions in ways comparable to earning an extra $20,000. And it improves one’s sense of well-being as much as earning an extra $10,000, moving to a neighbourhood with $10,000 higher median income, or being seven years younger. These results are astonishing. There’s a real mystery here, which scientists still do not yet understand. But perhaps we shouldn’t be so surprised. After all, we have co-evolved with trees for millions of years. We even share DNA with trees. After countless generations, we’ve come to depend on them for our health and happiness just as we depend on other humans. We are, in a very real sense, relatives.

- Jason Hickel,  Less is More

[llendrinall]

Hello, Endrina, I hope you are well!

I was recently introduced to a new ship: Snarry. Never though I could like it, but the fics I read were very well written, so I can see potential now.

What are your thoughts on this ship (if you have any), would you ever write Snarry?

Actually, I'm asking this bc I miss your Snape. So maybe, the question is more, can we have more Snape?

Sending love and inspiration, tai <3

Hello, Tea.

I’m well. Busier than I would like, so I don’t have the focus I need to write long-form, but I’m doing very well. I even got my vaccine!

So, Snarry. It’s not a pairing I see myself writing. It has too many issues and some of my biggest squicks, like teacher/student relationships (god, no) and age difference. The age difference I can get past, because it’s so prevalent that I’m inured to it. I think most, if not all, of Jane Austen’s heroines have +-10 years difference, for example, so one learns not to pay attention. Still, it’s not a pairing that calls to me.

That said, while I won’t write it and it’s not my first reading choice, I have read it occasionally and I agree that the fics were quite good. They managed to make a difficult and very unlikely couple believable, so kudos to the authors. I just hope none of them pursue a career in politics or public relations.

You ask about Snape. The thing about him (and most of HP characters) is that there is an incoherent element to them.

Snape stands on the edge between hero and villain, between human and monster. Snape is a survivor of childhood abuse and teenager bullying, the poor dear. Snape became a supremacist and joined a terrorist group, the bastard. Snape is a horrible, horrible, teacher. Snape is the only remotely competent actor in the Order of Phoenix.

I actually think this is the reason why the HP fandom is so popular, after so many years, and still produces so many fics. Almost all characters have this tension (I’m actually struggling to think of a character without internal strain. Fleur, maybe?), this internal conflict as two things that cannot be exist in the same person. A character cannot stand that internal contradiction for long, and yet it is never resolved in the books. Was Dumbledore well meaning, if inefficient? Or was he a manipulative bastard?

Because the characters are left in that state of incoherence, we write fic and meta to resolve that tension. To do that, we have to choose some aspects and bury or hand wave others because they simply can’t cohabit. This means that when people say Snape was a creepy bastard who doesn’t deserve our good opinion, they are right. It also means that when I choose to see him a kinder light, as a flawed man who is denied the chance to heal from his trauma, I am also right.

My Snape.

What I like best about him is that he is a very efficient and unapologetic jerk. Even in the most positive portrayals (like The Secret Language of Plants) Snape is the personification of drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth. He doesn’t play well with others.

Because he is very efficient, there is the danger of going the Sherlock route (or House route, or… you know, any other show) in which his genius is used to justify him being a cruel prick (sidenote: I want more Sherlock fics in which John gently points out that when Sherlock does X thing or says Y he is hurting people’s feelings, and Sherlock adapting his behaviour in hilariously wrong but well-meaning ways). I prefer to use Snape’s cantankerous attitude to bring up conflict and humour. Snape is the man who will stab Lockhart to shut him up. He is also the friend you hex in an attempt to re-educate him into being a tolerable member of society.

What else? I see Snape as a gay man. The foggy ficlet I’m writing right now might be the first time where I am unsure, he may be bisexual there. Mostly, I prefer if his relationship to Lily is one of friendship. I actually think it’s nicer, and speaks better of him, if his heel-face turn is born out of friendship rather than a desire to save the life of the girl who got away. It’s still love, just not sexual or romantic love.

Some other thoughts about him.

- He is a bad teacher. Not that there are good teachers, since no one goes through teacher training, but he is bad and doesn’t like the job.

- He is a brilliant researcher and experimenter. He would be much happier in a university-setting where you can get away with not seeing students and at least the ones you are forced to see will be slightly interested in the subject.

- Canon Snape went through a lot of trauma and wasn’t allowed to heal. Instead he was picked up by Voldemort and Dumbledore to be used as they wished. If he had gotten away, even if he didn’t go to therapy, just time and distance would have done wonders.

- Despite his acerbic personality, Snape is very good at managing teams. We know that all the other Hogwarts’ houses gang up against Slytherin, and yet until Harry arrived, Slytherin had won the House Cup six times in a row. Six times. This can’t be attributed to Snape giving a disproportionate amount of points to his students, because he only has so many occasions to do so and in any case it would only work one time before the rest of the teachers started to give points by the hundreds. Either the Slytherin students were so good that other teachers, despite their animosity, were forced to recognize their talent; or Snape provoked the other houses to fight between them and grabbed the cup from under them. Either way, Snape is wasted in that school.

- No, really, who gets a bunch of teenagers and turns them into such a well oiled machine?

I want him to fake his death and go live in the French-Speaking side of Canada and finally get a chance to figure out who he is. And when Percy Weasley inevitably stumbles across him, they will simply nod at each other, share a look of “I’m so tired of their bullshit” and carry on without a word.

[itsclydebitches]

ngl voyager gets a whole lot of very disproportional hate from the fandom and i'd hazard a guess that a lot of that is just garden-variety misogyny (and probably racism mixed in, considering how many of the most prominent characters are women, poc, or both). like, is voyager perfect? absolutely not. and no spoilers but there was a lot of executive meddling that wound up leading to the finale/conclusion being lacking and there's a lot of reasonable dissatisfaction with that--but again that was largely thanks to the execs fucking the show over and i recommend looking into that if you can once you've finished the show. but overall? voyager is trek right to its very core--it has heart, it's about family, and it never loses sight of that imo, even if some episodes are weaker or just duds (but, like, would it be a trek series without some episodes that just kinda suck but are still fun to watch???)

anyway, i absolutely love that you're getting into voyager, it is my all-time favorite trek series to this day for a lot of reasons, and i hope that ppl like that anon dont put you off bc i'd love to continue to see your thoughts as you watch the series!

Oh, it would take a whole lot more than some anons being salty that others enjoy things to turn me off :D 

Thus far (I lost internet last night so I’m still only on Episode 7 of Season 2), Voyager is the Trekiest Trek I’ve watched. Which is a weird sentence, but I mean it in the way you said it’s “trek right to its very core.” What is Star Trek, if we strip the intent of the story down to its basics? It’s about exploration, discovery, that “wagon train to the stars,” wrapped up in the argument that life is fundamentally good. We have problems, but we can work past them. We have differences, but they strengthen us. Diversity is the lifeblood of the universe and the future will continue to improve so long as we embrace that. 

Voyager is (again, from what I’ve seen so far!) basically a love song to that premise. I didn’t do too deep a dive because I’m trying to avoid spoilers, but I did look at a couple threads discussing why Voyager is so hated. Again and again I saw the same reason pop up: wasted potential. Now, a lot of fans left it at that (as if the answer to what potential Voyager apparently missed out on is self-evident. It’s not), but those who did expand on the idea consistently claimed that the show needed to be darker than it was, even if they rarely said it like that. Why aren’t the Federation and the Marquis at each other’s throats? Why isn’t the crew going crazy under these circumstances? Why aren’t characters getting killed off left and right in hostile space? “Anything could have happened out there and they played it safe!” but the “anything” here is always... awful. There’s this very pervasive idea that the world is inherently cruel, people are inherently divisive, that when pushed to the brink everything will fall apart... and that (while making for one kind of great story) is very much not Star Trek. 

See, Voyager created an unimaginable scenario--lost in space, 75 years from home, forced to live indefinitely with strangers--and their answer to the question of “What happens?” is “People make it work.” They learn to respect one another, they uphold their ideals, they maintain a love of life and discovery, and they create a family. And that’s fucking fantastic. That’s Star Trek! I’m not going to pretend there aren’t problems with the show, with plenty more to come, I’m sure, but I don’t think this is one of them. Why do so many viewers think that hatred, horror, death, and growing jaded is the only potential here? Why would they expect that in a Star Trek show whose premise is the very antithesis of those things? 

“But they don’t do enough with those things, even if they have happy outcomes.” They do plenty, they just do it in an episodic rather than serialized nature. I can point to multiple episodes where the replicator rations or Maquis differences are driving the characters’ actions. “But without that horror there’s no conflict.” There’s plenty of conflict. Hostile aliens aside, I just watched an episode where Tuvok and Chakotay are pissed as hell at one another because they fundamentally disagree over how to handle problems, but--because they’re adults with a well-tested respect for one another--they apologize and work through it. “But the characters don’t develop at all.” You mean they don’t grow harder. That’s not the same thing as no development. Tuvok is figuring out how to be more flexible, Chakotay is becoming more willing to accept cultures he doesn’t agree with, Harry is growing more confident now that he’s far from home, the Doctor is learning to see himself as a person, Paris is grabbing his second chance with both hands by making strong ties, and Janeway is learning to command and care for her crew simultaneously. I honestly believe that a lot of people think of “character development” as the character becoming a fundamentally different person, unrecognizable from where they started out. But  characters can also grow into the people they wanted to be in the first place. “We’re far from home, in hostile territory, tempted to do horrific things to survive... but no. Right now at least, we’re holding onto who we are. We’re scientists, so we’re going to explore and learn. We’re peaceful, so we’re going to make friends with as many species as we can. We’re members of a society that teaches acceptance, so we’re going to form a family on this spaceship.” That’s incredible!! Did fans miss why Seska was an antagonist in the episode she was unmasked? Because she was trying to convince them to give up everything they believe in in the name of survival, an ends justify the means argument. And the crew said no, we will not give up what we believe in just to make it through. I legit saw a ton of fans saying some version of, “I can’t believe they were that far from home and actually followed Starfleet’s rulebook.” It’s because those rules don’t exist for the hell of it. Overlooking their practical function, they’re a philosophy that the characters believe in, and they’re figuring out how important that part of their identity is to them under these circumstances. Am I willing to steal a specie’s technology if it gets us home? Am I willing to die to help another uphold their own philosophy? (Chakotay in “Imitations”). What regulations should we bend or change to accommodate our new situation? The first two things Janeway does are a) giving the guy who just came out of a penal colony a rank and b) deciding that she needs to be more familiar with her crew than is normally encouraged for a captain because she’s essentially their mom now. Developing doesn’t have to mean characters do a 180 on their initial personality, or characters getting killed off when stuff gets “boring” so that others can do edgy things in response. 

Voyager upholds Trek’s premise and runs it to its logical conclusion: 

Voyager has the most literal trek--a trek back home. 

Voyager has the most diverse crew--a woman Captain, Native American First officer, black Vulcan, Asian-American communications officer, and a White Dude pilot that realizes he wants to be soft and kind towards those who took a chance on him because Toxic Masculinity who? 

Voyager has the most literal family--not just a 5+ year mission, but a crew who expects to raise the next generation. They have no choice but to work together, so they indeed come together rather than pulling apart

Except they do, of course, have a choice. In “The 37′s” the crew is allowed to stay on the Earth-like planet with a city of other humans and Janeway is convinced that a sizable number will choose that. After all, they may never get home and this is a safer, kinder future for them. In fact, the real question is whether so many will stay that they can no longer run the ship... but Janeway would never dictate her crew’s choices in that manner. So she swallows her worry down, opens the door... 

... and finds that not a single person decided to stay behind. And the show has ensured we understand that this is not just because they all have some unshakable belief that they’ll get home (many don’t), but because this is their family now. This is home. 

And fans want to toss that out for a generic, gritty, sci-fi adventure where hope is scarce, the universe is cruel, and people need to be pushed to the limit just to admit that they maybe, sort of, like each other?? Obviously like what you like, but that’s a hard pass for me. I’ll take the bridge crew comforting each other in “Twisted,” thanks. Besides, we already have shows like that. And we already have DS9 which grapples with many of those dark, pessimistic themes. Voyager feels like a breath of fresh air, even within the breath of fresh air that is Star Trek as a franchise. It’s a show that says, “Yes, when everything goes wrong people will come together. They will love each other. They will make it through.” 

What’s more Star Trek than that? 

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen Audiences

Words: 2.2K~

Summary: A series of shorts detailing what might’ve happened in the moments after I Am My Monster, told from six different points of view.

Greg apparently had a LOT on his mind, because this was supposed to be short and instead it’s over 2000 words, ahah. Final chapter!

If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3. Thank you! <3

Chapter warning: Allusions to past non-canon character suicide.

____

Chapter 6: Greg

Hours pass.

Bismuth makes quick and quiet work of replacing the cracked slider door in Steven’s room while he sleeps, and secures a thick tarp over the open front of the house to keep the coastal breeze somewhat at bay until she can finish her repairs to the windows and siding. She warns that might take a day or two. Garnet, meanwhile, busies herself the rest of the afternoon and evening fielding all of the Diamonds’ frazzled calls, and reassuring them of the boy’s current stability. Pooling their knowledge, Dr. Maheswaran and Peridot make sure to confirm that. Beyond some minor scarring, neither his organic or Gem half seems to exhibit any serious physical health conditions in consequence of what happened today, news which works to ever so slightly lift the air of the household. With no other concrete tasks to complete, Pearl, Amethyst, Lapis, Connie, and Greg all rotate between sweeping debris off the floor, wandering the beach to mentally recuperate, and dutifully sitting at Steven’s side as he rests. It may not sound like a lot, but alas the level of emotional labor demanded by such a situation is immense.

All in all, the sun’s long since dipped below the horizon by the time Greg finally collapses onto the mattress laid out in the back of his van, craving if but a moment of privacy and respite from all the chaos. It’s been... an insufferably long day, to put it lightly. Busy. Tons of cleaning, and intercepting nosy neighbors, and bedside monitoring...

He offered to take the first night shift watching Steven a few minutes ago, but Pearl must’ve noticed the dark circles creeping ever wider under his eyes, because she proceeded to gently overturn his offer and remind him of humanity’s daily sleep requirement. And she’s right, of course. He can’t stay up as long as he used to in his twenties anymore. Plus, he probably deserves some time to himself after everything that’s transpired. There’s plenty of Gems left in the house who can keep watch, after all. Steven will be fine for a few hours. Surely nothing else can happen when he’s asleep, right?

 Right??

Exhaustedly slumping against the side wall, Greg offers a glassy, vacant stare at the contacts list of his phone, roughly wiping the damp from his cheeks with his other hand as his thumb hovers over one of the numbers. Does he dare drag someone else into this whole situation? Surely the kinder solution would be to refrain from widening the circle any more, from letting anyone else learn about today’s harrowing events. And yet if he fails to find a proper outlet for the raw emotions all of this has violently hauled to the surface, he fears he just may suffer a mental break himself, repressed memories bursting like a vicious flood through the dam he desperately tried to seal them behind all those years back. Much of this is just... far too familiar.

His phone slips right through his trembling hands as the cruel reality of what he witnessed today finally begins to carve its indelible presence in his mind. A strained sob leaking from between his tightly pursed lips, he buries his head between his knees, clutching at the worn bottom hem of his jean shorts like an infant to a parent’s finger. Small. Vulnerable.

Helpless.

His son... oh stars, his only son, he—

He can’t talk about any of this to the Gems; they wouldn’t wholly grasp the uniquely human nature of his concerns. And he doesn’t feel comfortable discussing these matters with Dr. Maheswaran, especially not after the stern words she dealt to him back at the hospital. He’s burdened her enough already, by this point. No, there’s only one fellow human he feels close enough with to engage in this sort of conversation.

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, he reaches for the phone he dropped on the mattress. Turns it on. Nervously clamps down on his bottom lip as he selects his cousin’s contact and dials.

The passing heartbeats slamming against his ribs are almost nauseating in their needy clamor as he waits, his calloused fingers tapping against the thick rubber of his phone case. Andy’s never been a particularly tech savvy guy, so honestly, it’s well within reason he might not even carry his phone on his person to answer. And that’d be fine, really. In fact, he might even prefer it, since he’s still not confident he’s emotionally prepared to discuss any of this at this precise moment, anyways. But just as he’s beginning to undergo mental preparations for what on Earth he might leave as a voicemail message, his older family member finally picks up.

“Greg?” Andy’s gravelly voice rings through, sounding somewhat tinny through their connection. “Hey, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? How’s the ol’ Universe family unit doin’?”

“Not great, honestly,” he narrowly manages in response, his throat constricting tight. “That’s kinda why I’m calling, if you have the time to listen?”

“Heh. I’m a drifter, you know I ain’t got no schedule. Carry on.”

“Well... geeze, how do I put this. There was, uh... a bit of an incident today. With Steven.”

“An incident?” his cousin questions, marked worry immediately painting his tone. “The kid okay??”

He falls silent for a few seconds upon this question, threading his hyperactive digits through the split ends in his hair on automatic, a stress-induced habit. “Unclear,” he says, a slight quiver making itself intimately known in his words. “I mean, physically, at the moment, yes, but—“

He cuts off once more. It suddenly occurs to him that little of today’s events would make sense to Andy without providing the appropriate context. Or, at least, what little context he’s capable of giving as a father. It’s still terrifying to admit the truth to himself— that he doesn’t possess the full story. That he hasn’t been paying close enough attention. That, in many ways, he willfully blinded himself to all the troubling events transpiring around his son throughout the years, foolishly believing that if he didn’t involve himself... that if he simply stayed out of the Gems’ hair... everything would go to plan, and Steven would finally receive the training he needed. He didn’t expect things would grow so complicated.

He didn’t expect that his teenage son would have to march into battle carrying nothing but his wits and a shield time and time again.

With a weary sigh and a quick apology, to which Andy brushes off, Greg begins to weave a verbal picture of everything that’s transpired across the last few days. First, the hospital call. Rushing home from tour, only to find his son giant and flushed pink, literally filling an entire room with the sheer volume of his trauma. The shattered x-ray in his chart, hinting towards hidden hurts that— before all this— even Steven seemingly hadn’t processed or quantified. Then, the road trip. The unwanted reminders of his childhood. That blasted CD. His expression sobers as he describes the fateful argument they had on the road home, one which lead to his son accidentally breaking the steering wheel and flipping the van. Next... his disappearance. No texts for four whole days, which is so unlike him. He was worried sick. And the next time he saw him, he was eight feet tall, glowing, and painfully manic in behavior, with each new sentence spilling from his mouth revealing an even more heartbreaking picture of the sort of poor mental state he’d spiraled into. It was nothing short of a father’s worst nightmare, propelled into horrifying, vivid reality.

Nothing in this corner of the galaxy could’ve prepared him for the primal surge of terror and anguish he was engulfed within when that nightmare distorted and transformed even further.  

His only son... colossal and coated in thick scales and spines, sclera black as night... roughly clawing at this unfamiliar form, smashing his skull against the cliffside, roaring with an inner pain so primal that the sound now haunts the depths of his very soul—

“I- you remember what happened with cousin Jo, back when we were young?” Greg says softly once he’s caught Andy up with the details of situation, his voice frail and unsteady, the tone of a man helplessly marooned amidst his anxieties. “Before she was sent to that mental rehab place? Well, I’m... with the addition of Gem magic, it almost felt like that. I mean, h-he’s fine for now, we have him resting, but... but I’m just so scared he won’t come out of this, like her, a-a-and that one day he’ll—“

A mewling sob bubbles up in his throat, swiftly severing that train of thought. N-no. No, he refuses to even utter that horrible idea out loud! After all, a world without Steven in it isn’t worth envisioning.

Andy’s eventual response— albeit tinged with a justified shade of awkwardness, given the emotionally charged nature of this conversation— is filled with genuine compassion, and for that he’s dearly thankful.

“Aw, hell... Greg, I’m- I’m so sorry. I, uh- I could fly over, if any of ya’ need me? For emotional support, or whatever?”

Upon this kind offer, he inhales deep to steady his breath, and wipes away dewy beads of moisture from the corner of his eyes, desperately hoping that he can mitigate the pitiful wavering of his voice over the phone. He’s gotta fight to reliably keep some form of composure in front of other people, damnit. His kid can’t have his dad breaking down around him too, of course.

“No, you’ve got places to be,” he replies evenly, pressing his thumb and pointer against one of his aching temples. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You ain’t asking,” he retorts, the eye-roll evident in his tone. “I’m offering. Listen- family takes care of family, y’hear? And I’m only about a day’s flight away, anyways. It’s really the least I could do.”

He sighs. Absentmindedly tugs at a thick strand of his hair. Offers a long, contemplative stare at the rickety age-worn handle affixed to the inside of the van’s back doors. Truth be told— ignoring his deep-seated guilt at dragging Andy into all this to begin with— he’d love having another family member around to embrace, especially a human one who can more deeply understand the crux of his anxieties about this delicate situation. But in the end, he shouldn’t be prioritizing his own feelings and comfort. He’s not the one in crisis, his son is.

Desperately hoping he’s making the right choice, Greg flexes his fingers, and acquiesces to the offer, on one condition: only if Steven consents to having visitors, once he’s awake.

Andy hums in approval. “Understood. Don’t wanna overload the poor guy with any surprise visits, or whatever.”

“Yeah. The last thing I want to do is push him too hard, too fast.”

He pauses, braving waves of parental grief to spend a moment to reflect on Steven’s emotional progression over the past few months... a stray negative comment here, an unusually forlorn mannerism there... All of them events that, in isolation, wouldn’t point to anything more than your standard ‘teenage angst,’ but when observed in strong, unceasing patterns, begin to reveal deeply harrowing truths about the state of an individual’s self-image. How did he never notice? Why wasn’t he there to catch him in his fall?

“I think he hates himself,” he says quietly, his voice hitching up at the end. “He didn’t say so directly, but- but I can sense it. And I don’t know how to help him, I-I... I don’t know if I can.”

“Nonsense,” his cousin scoffs, “‘course ya’ know what to do! What does any good father worth their salt give their sons?”

Unable to evade the momentary temptation of feeling miserable and sorry for himself, he slumps back against the wall, giving a weak shrug that his current audience would never see.

“I dunno, maybe a stable, safe childhood? Not growing up poor as dirt in a van?”

“No, you numbskull,” Andy immediately cuts back, “you love on ‘em and support ‘em just as much as you always have! Y’ show him that you’re always gonna be there for him, and that he can trust you with anything.”

“But I haven’t always been there for him,” he exclaims petulantly. “That’s the whole problem! That’s one of the reasons he ended up like this.”

“Greg,” he says, his voice softer this time. “Listen to me, ain’t nobody perfect, okay? We’ve all made our mistakes with people. Me? More than most. But what we can’t do is let those mistakes cloud what’s happening right now. Y’know, that’s one of the hard lessons I’ve had to learn over the past two years, that you can’t always make things about you. Because right now, it’s about him. He’s dealin’ with some hard feelings, and he needs all of our help. So, let’s help him. Together. We’ll start with one foot in front of us, and we can take it from there. All right?”

Closing his weary, exhausted eyes and pressing his thumb firm against his still-aching temple, Greg Universe gives a long sigh and finally concedes to the reality that— just as he’s not solely responsible for the decline of his son’s mental state— no man should be an island when it comes to the task of supporting one’s journey towards recovery. As with everything, the extended Universe family unit will face the future together, hand-in-hand. Step-by-step.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “Yeah, I think that’s do-able.”

[seijuurouxryuu]

zombies ate my neighbour (and turned into mince meat)

Title: zombies ate my neighbour (and turned into mince meat) Author: Shiro (TeitoxAkashi [AO3]/ seijuurouxryuu [tumblr]) Rating: T Pairing: Hibari Kyouya/Sawada Tsunayoshi/Yamamoto Takeshi Event: @khrrarepairweek Prompts: Zombie Apocalypse AU | Accidental Kidnapping Tags/Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warning, Major Character Death, No Archive Warning

Day 2: Sky Day

06/05/2943

It was his birthday yesterday, the skylark who took over control of Namimori. He was interesting. His first reaction was not to hoard food, but to start a one-sided slaughter with the undead. He then ordered his men to put up fences around Namimori boarder, closing off the small town. He cleaned up the remains and burnt the undead.

Some, though, he kept caged in his compound.

AO3

13/04/2943

 The sky suddenly turned red. It was not a gradual change, no, the redness came all of the sudden when the sun was still shining brightly. News was all about dooms day and judgement day and blah. Annoying.

 18/04/2943

 The sky remained red. Even when the sun sets, the sky was still red. No one knows why, all the scientists were scrambling to find the reasons and consequences of no night but they failed to discover something huge.

 There were more rotting corpses on the street.

 25/04/2943

 They finally noticed; it wasn't dooms day but close. It was a zombie apocalypse, like those in the movies and fictions. Food and clean water ran low, none of the grass or trees or plants can be eaten because they had mutated. Even the animals were starting to mutate.

 People were dying faster than zombies could kill them.

 How ironic.

 06/05/2943

 It was his birthday yesterday, the skylark who took over control of Namimori. He was interesting. His first reaction was not to hoard food, but to start a one-sided slaughter with the undead. He then ordered his men to put up fences around Namimori boarder, closing off the small town. He cleaned up the remains and burnt the undead.

 Some, though, he kept caged in his compound.

 07/07/2943

 Hibari Kyouya. He finally cleared Namimori of zombies after almost two months. He organized food rationing, set up teams of guards for the boarder and people in charge of raiding food from nearby town. Some outsiders would find their way to the boarders and pled for entry, but Hibari accepted only those who were once from Namimori and young children or old people. The rest that are well and able were barred from entry.

 It wasn't a surprise, honestly. Hibari owned and loved Namimori. He wouldn't let anyone who is not Namimori in and sabotage the peace. He was kind enough still to accept those who cannot sustain themselves in such trying times. "Those herbivores could not even fight against a tiny zombie animal, much less a zombie. I'd rather they not add to the number." He had said.

 I think he was kinder than he let on.

 28/07/2943

 I got accepted into the youth team for zombie virus research. Hibari had established a team of researchers from a group of doctors. Their main task was to make use of the captured zombies Hibari had in his compound to find a cure--either to completely vaccinate everyone from the virus that spreads by bites or scratches from a zombie, or to reverse engineer and turn those zombies back to human. Honestly, the latter sound absurd. Even the adults said so, but Hibari was adamant that they figure out a way.

 A week into the research, none of the doctors or scientists managed to find something; all these old fogies were too scared to approach the zombies even with Hibari watching close, even with them held down. Hibari almost killed them in annoyance instead if not for the fact he still needed their brains. That was why the Youth team was established. Because apparently the younger generations were braver.

 More like they couldn't send those around them as cannon fodders, so they decided to push for kids being the cannon fodders. Cowards, all of them. Fucking cowards.

 Hibari, of course, knew their plan but he allowed the setup of a Youth team anyway. He had said: "Whoever takes the sample can use it on their own or with their team--no sharing of samples outside of the team. You old herbivores may be smart, but if you don't suck it up anytime soon I will deal with your old bones faster than a zombie can."

 In my opinion, that was the hottest shit I've ever heard in my whole life.

 16/08/2943

 The main researchers were all scared shitless by Hibari's threat so they finally took the samples themselves. The Youth team did too. We both use the samples separately, but every day we would gather together with the adults to discuss our findings. I honestly didn't know why Hibari allowed the Youth to participate separately because honestly, the oldest of us is only 24 and had not even graduated from university. None of us were anymore knowledgeable than one another, much less the main team researchers.

 But Irie-senpai said it was because those old fogies were too stuck up in their old ideas that Hibari wanted more innovative brains to speed up the process. He also said with just those old bones, the world would have been annihilated way before they can figure out the cure.

 I guess there were some truths in that.

 Still, there were not much progress. Outside of Namimori, the zombie virus was still spreading. Hunters would go out and capture one or two back for us to check and to our horror, the zombie virus mutates from one person to another. It was practically impossible to find a permanent vaccine.

 But we had to do it.

 Otherwise Hibari would have our heads before the zombies did. That who-shall-not-be-named was an example.

 31/08/2943

 It was my turn to get another sample from Hibari's compound. There were around 20 that was kept, but out of the 20, 4 was permanent, and one of them was separately kept inside the house--the one no one has seen before. Even if the other 3 were rarely used to provide samples, that one particular zombie was never used.

 I was curious and asked Kusakabe, Hibari's right hand, and gotten an answer that confuses me.

 "That's Kyou-san's. No one else can touch."

 I mean, don't all of these zombies technically belong to Hibari?

 I didn't pry further though.

 18/09/2943

 I was collecting samples again when Hibari came back from his trip out of the boarders. He was as usual uninjured despite the blood and gore that stuck to his jacket. What surprised me was that he was carrying an unconscious boy in his arms when he walked into the compound. He was holding him tightly, yet the gentleness in his grip was not unseen. There was a clean blanket around the boy too, bundling him up into a burrito until only his head was seen--brown and fluffy.

 Without even blinking, he gestured at his followers and tilted his head at yet another group of new zombies. "Take those samples today." He said lowly, as though to not wake up the unconscious boy.

 I could only nod mutely as he swiftly turned and walked into the house.

 ... Did Hibari just kidnapped a boy from outside?

 21/09/2943

 We might have a new lead with the new group of zombies Hibari brought back. I can't write much though. Not because of anything but I just don't want to jinx it.

 Still, who was that boy?

 27/09/2943

 As it turned out, the boy--or young man--was not kidnapped. He was originally from Namimori as well and was out of boarders when the apocalypse happened. He had only just managed to find a way to contact Hibari and Hibari went to fetch him. Simple as that.

 Was what he said.

 It didn't look simple to me. Sawada--that guy--told me that he and Hibari used to be from the same school and Hibari had helped him a lot of times. They were friends, he said. I think their relationship is more than that, but with how convinced Sawada was, I didn't tell him my conjecture. Not that I could anyway with how Hibari stared daggers at me when I chatted with Sawada.

 How did I meet him?

 Well, as it turned out, the breakthrough we had the other day was a success, so Irie-senpai brought me and a few others to Hibari. Oh, Irie-senpai was their friends too, apparently, so he wasn't surprised seeing Sawada.

After the discussion and greenlight from Hibari to proceed with the rest of the research, Sawada and Irie-senpai started chatting. Somehow, Irie-senpai introduced me and the other Youth members to him, and somehow, Sawada started chatting with me more.

 I think he was bored with Hibari's constant silence.

 I merely listened though as he and Irie-senpai recounted their past.

 "Look, I didn't plan to go out of Namimori at that time. If it weren't for my uncle's insistence that I go visit him I'd rather stay here and possibly get bitten to death by a zombie." Sawada said. I don't think he was bored with Hibari's silence at all now.

 Irie-senpai laughed. "By a zombie, or him?"

 Sawada flushed red. How interesting...

 "Shut up, Shoichi."

 Hibari looked smug at the back.

 10/10/2944

 It took us more than a year, but we succeeded in creating the cure, much to the main research team's anger. We did share the findings with them, but those stuck-up old cows were adamant that what we did and the direction we were looking at was wrong. Now that we created the solution, they couldn't speak anymore.

 Our next stage was testing; Irie-senpai said we have to try on the old zombies Hibari has, but unfortunately most of them disintegrated a few months before. Those that are still 'alive' were the 4 that Hibari kept properly.

 Hibari did not approve the testing on them and argued a long time with Irie-senpai.

 While they were having a sort of 'shouting' contest in the courtyard--honestly, I think Hibari did not bite Irie-senpai to death solely because he was the leading the research--I was having tea with Sawada.

 Sawada didn't even look exasperated by their argument. Curious, I couldn't help but ask: "Why wouldn't Hibari-san allow us to test on those zombies?"

Sawada was dazed by the question. He suddenly looked down and smiled sadly. "Well.... Those four are our... Friends. Family. We... Well, the thing is, Hibari and I all hope for a cure to return them back to normal. They didn't exactly die, you know? They were bitten while alive, which suggest that they are still alive. We can feel that they're alive too, in fact, which is why... Hibari and I are waiting for the day to see them come back. Especially..." His eyes dimmed as he peered over to one particular zombie--the one Hibari kept carefully the most.

 He quickly shook his head and continued, "I think Shoichi don't even want to test on them, but he had no choice because the newest batch of zombies might have yet another mutation that renders the whole thing useless. Only with the old batch he could tell whether we're all on the exact right track... But none of us wanted to test on them when everything is so uncertain now, especially during the preliminary testing where we don't even know the side effects..."

 I seemed to have pieced something together.

 I said nothing and quietly nodded.

 23/02/2945

 As it turned out, mutation rendered the whole thing unsuccessful, yes. But from the old zombies--not Hibari's four--we somehow managed to find, we were all on the right track. But now, we have to tackle the mutation and make a protein that can target the unchanging amino acids of made from the virus. It's all complicated stuff; I'd probably write a whole book about it if I do so I'll spare you, and my hands, from the details.

 Interestingly, Sawada liked to chat with me whenever I go to Hibari's place for either more samples or discussion with Irie-senpai. I don't know why, maybe because I looked approachable? Who knows? Anyways, from him, I finally got to know who exactly the four zombies were.

 The smallest zombie was Chrome Dokuro, Sawada's adopted sister when she was abandoned by her parents from a car accident. She died in the hospital when the zombie outbreak happened, and Sawada was actually relieved that she turned into a zombie at that time because she was going to die soon from multiple organ failures. He said that once she was cured from the virus, he was going to transplant all the organs he found for her--that was the reason why he left Namimori back then to find his uncle. I suspected that he has connection with the Yakuza or black market, but that was beside the point.

 The next one was Sasagawa Ryohei. I knew him too--the brother of Sasagawa Kyouko. She is alive of course, just working in the food rationing team (She and Miura Haru were very scary if you jump queue during food distribution). Apparently, she was Sawada's schoolmate as well, and friend. The more you know. Anyways, Sasagawa Ryohei was Hibari's classmate at one point, and he had taught Sawada boxing once. They became friends after even though Sawada failed terribly at boxing--what he said.

 The third one was Gokudera Hayato. He was actually not from Namimori, but he was Sawada's childhood friend. He was a half-Italian who lived in Italy. He had transferred to Namimori Middle School years back because he was fed up with his family (TMI much, Sawada?) and wanted to be closer to Sawada, so he came with Sawada's uncle, who was by the name of Reborn. (I've met him ONE (1) time and I would NOT want to again.) He was bitten by a zombie when he was trying to protect Sawada's adoptive brother and sister (just how many siblings does Sawada have?) and got turned. Hibari brought him back before he bit anyone else and locked him up along with Sasagawa and Chrome.

 The last one, and probably the most cherished by Hibari (Sawada cherished all four of them but even I could tell he was saddest when facing this one), was Yamamoto Takeshi. I was surprised, because he was our resident baseball star. Before the apocalypse happened, he was the talk of the town because he was offered into the national baseball team. Sawada said Yamamoto was his childhood friend as well--and apparently Hibari's too--and he was bitten by his father Yamamoto Tsuyoshi, who changed while trying to protect him. Tsuyoshi-san unfortunately was killed and burned by a stranger who tried to help Yamamoto, who did not want to attack his father.

 Hibari had almost killed that stranger for burning Tsuyoshi-san if it were not for the fact the stranger had tried to save Yamamoto. But still, Yamamoto was bitten and had turned into a zombie. All Hibari could do was bring him back and cage him up just like how he did with the other three.

 Sawada looked very sorrowful when he retold everything.

 All I could do is pat his shoulders and console him that the research teams are trying our very best to help.

 And I am, trying my very best. I want to see them smile, honestly.

 16/01/2947

 Sorry, I hadn't had any time to write. It has been... 2 years, huh, since my last entry. I was far too busy--everyone was.

 The sky had darkened further in red, the rain started coming down red, even the sun and moon turned red. Everyone could tell that the zombie apocalypse is worsening. Us research teams were even more aware.

 After we found the cure, we immediately started tackling all and every mutation. We finally pinpointed a particular protein made by the virus RNA that is present in every mutation; it was the protein that changed the structure of a human's cells into 'undead' dead cells. It's like, some microorganisms can't survive in very cold temperature and would lay dormant but once the temperature rises it would wake up and start working.

 Those 'undead' dead cells are the same. In this zombie stage, they are like those frozen microorganisms. Irie-senpai said if we can kill or render the protein unusable, we might be able to revert those cells back to living cells. The zombies can then be reverted back to humans.

 First ten testing did not work. The eleventh test, the zombie's cells turned to normal cells but it remained in coma. The twentieth test, the zombie woke up as human once again.

 After two hundred tests and a year of observation, we finally confirmed that it is successful.

 The first person who received the cure serum was Yamamoto Takeshi.

 He woke up 10 days after the jab and I saw Hibari cry silently at the side while Sawada grabbed Yamamoto sobbing.

 They both smiled.

 05/05/2950

 We spread our findings and information worldwide--now no one is killing zombies but capturing them to be taken back to the lab for revival. In another 2 years’ time, I doubt there'll be anymore two legged zombies.

 The sky was still red, everything was still red, but the progression of the redness seemed to have stopped three years ago. It was good news. Now, everyone is targeting how to reverse engineer the mutations of nature. It was the hardest part, but it was alright, I believe that we can manage it.

 After all, did we not succeeded in bringing back humanity?

 Cough. Let's not talk about this.

 It's Hibari's birthday. He had wanted a quiet birthday with Yamamoto and Sawada, apparently, but both of them wouldn't let him have it and organized a party with everyone they know. They even invited me under the reason that I've helped them so much all these years. I wonder if they truly thought so, and not because they wanted someone sane to watch over them?

 So, it was a party. A wild one. One that would end with Hibari biting everyone to death, but he didn't. I guess he missed the chaos during the silence he lived in when the apocalypse started. He tolerated all of us.

 The highlight of the party was probably this:

 Yamamoto actually proposed to the both of them. Sawada broke down crying while Hibari.exe actually broke. Hibari had frozen in spot for so long everyone suspected his soul had ran away. Until, of course, Yamamoto pulled him into a long kiss that ended up being a three way make-out with everyone whistling and jeering.

 "Get a room!" I seconded that notion, Gokudera.

 They didn't actually get a room of course; the party must go on with the protagonists. But it was a great party. Everyone was so happy.

 I feel so happy for them.

 Well, I'm very tired now after hauling all the drunks back home, so I'm going to pen off. I'm not sure when I'll write again, but yeah, see you soon.

 Signing off,

S.

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A/N:  A SPECIAL THANKS TO KHR RAREPAIR DISCORD PEEPS FOR THE TITLE thenkew morcai senpai :3 <3

Hehehehhehehhe I loved writing this day entry the most. Maybe because its easier for me to write??

I'm finally free from the clutches of studying!!!!!!!!!!! Can finally post and write stuffs hngh.

Hope yall had fun with reading this!

[I apologize for any grammar, spelling, etc. etc. mistakes]