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Astarion pencil study. Traditional art
#may add things later idk#my art#astarion#bg3#I just like how he looks when he is drunk on tav's blood#astarion ancunin#astarion bg3#had a line caption planned for this but too tired#portrait study#traditional art#bg3 art
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i would like to draw him more i think..
#marvel mcu#xmen#xmen apocalypse#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#drawin him and i cant help but feel he looks like matt mercer i elakjleakjveal something i must work on in the future#a LOT to work on really but this was just a quick thing just to get basics and the sort#anyway and if i say his best outfits were in this movie. and ironically best hair#this is very closely followed by his psychedelic shirt and bell bottoms from dofp but ANYWAYS#again just wanted to do a quick doodle .. a quick study i spose#i dont have any major art plans . wait im lying yes i do but not with young charles and erik#ill have to practice those two another time ... for now i hope you may enjoy a humble professor#ps if im so tbh i just wanted to draw him cause i needed to color his eyes and lips#because i am forever mesmerized by how blue his eyes can be and how pigmented his lips can be#wait i have a text post to make. im sick ..
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Most important thing to know before writing: What is the point of your story?
There are two parts to that question.
-What are the main story elements you want to feature? A certain character? A setting? A moment of the plot? A particular theme? Which elements are essential to the story you're trying to tell?
-What type of ending are you aiming toward? It doesn't have to be super-detailed, but knowing something about where the story is going is how you know you have a story and not just an image. Is the main character going to change/grow somehow? Learn the answer to a question? Accomplish a certain goal? Make a friend?
Defining those things before you start lets you know that your idea is a story, not just an image or a concept that won't go anywhere. It also gives you a core to base the story around and keeps you from going off-track.
As long as you have defined the essentials to the story and the general direction that you need the story to go in, everything else is negotiable. You have freedom to adjust the non-essentials and explore different possibilities as you discovery-write, so long as none of those non-essentials interfere with the point of the story. If it distracts from the main point, or turns the plot in a way that'll make it impossible to reach main point of the story, it needs to be discarded. Anything else will most likely enrich your story.
#adventures in writing#i'm writing in the second person but i'm talking to me#i'm always trying to distill these realizations in ways that will stick#this is once again me trying to find out my particular balance between discovery and planning#i can't just free-write#i need to know the point of the story otherwise i just flail around in pointless details#i can't plan everything otherwise i'm constrained and frustrated#when i find that the plan that worked so well in my head doesn't translate at all to a sequential story#and this time travel story has been yet another case study in that#discovery writing brought out so many cool details and made the story richer than it could have been through pure outlining#however getting too caught up in those details veered me away from the story#it might be a good story but it's not the story i wanted#it makes the time travel and the narrative conceit superfluous#makes it impossible to focus on the relationship and the themes i wanted to feature#so i need to step back again and define what the essential elements of the story are#what is the main point of this story?#and then cut everything that interferes with that story shape#the beginning i was writing was the beginning to another story entirely#i may end up writing that second story#or i may need to adjust the beginning to get back to the story i wanted#but defining the essentials needs to be the first step
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Me and my brother casually discussing how we would survive in One Piece/what we would do first:
Me: I'll pull a classic isekai move; find a stable island (somehow), open up a small shop, and stay the hell out of the way. Maybe I'll open a betting ring based on the newspapers, but there's no way I'm getting involved.
Brother: Bitch you went to theatre school. You're joining the Buggy Pirates the first chance you get.
Me: ....
Brother: I've had to sit through your MULTIPLE rants on how the series treats clowns and the logistics of how they would run a pirate circus.
Me: okay but-
Brother: YOU WORK WITH CLOWNS!
#The day i realized i might be a buggy stan#Competent!buggy only though#one piece#buggy the clown#there's so much to unpack with his character and how they would run a pirate circus#How much of the pirate budget goes towards those effects (especially when you consider how expansive their big top was in the live-action)#What is the design and production value?!?#I may or may not be planning out a fic#I cannot be the only theatre obsessed person whose thought of this#theatre#buggy one piece#buggy pirates#competent buggy#isekai#I'd like to clarify that i am not an actor#i studied production
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been thinking about Trish a lot lately, and her connection to Eva
(Big ranty thing with some analysis into her character + my own headcanons about trish below)
She was created to be a carbon copy of Eva, right down to the most unimportant details. So much so that Dante recognized her immediately he didnt even do a double-take, as soon as those glasses were off he saw Eva standing infront of him instead of Trish. (I mean, blonde haired+blue eyed women arent uncommon and its not like Dante has never been into a public space before. Hes probably seen similar women to Eva many times throughout his life, but only Trish was so perfectly like Eva that he couldnt see anything else but his mother in her that first moment they met.)
But thats just physical features. It'd be too easy, too simple for Mundus to just create a look-alike to Eva. And i dont think that alone would've been enough to trick Dante either, Dante isnt an idiot no matter how dumb he acts sometimes. So, how deep into this "recreate Eva" thing did Mundus actually go?
Does Trish experience the same motherly instincts Eva had toward Dante (and Vergil)? Does she feel the need to protect them and cherish them like Eva did? Does she get urges to hold them, kiss and hug them and give them praise as Eva once did in their childhood? If so, does she ignore these feelings, pushing them down untill they're buried so deep within her mind that she's forgotten them entirely, or does she let them be and let them pass on their own, wether she acts on them or not. She's quite sassy with Dante in dmc4 and seems quite aloof in dmc5, so maybe thats how she copes with it instead - acting the total opposite to what Eva ever would.
Going even deeper into that, does Trish have any of Eva's memories? Even just vague snippets or imaginings of Eva's life, considering how well Mundus made Trish then that might not be an impossibility. If so, how much would she have the ability to recall? Could she even recall the fire, maybe? If she can, how would she feel about it. Would she grieve? Feel anger, regret, or nothing at all?
And how would she feel about all of this overall? Being a clone of Eva right down to the gritty details even Dante wouldn't know. Trish is so strongly contrasted to Eva in personality, style and tastes that i'd like to imagine she isnt that much of a fan, put simply. She's her own person, she wants to be her own person and she hates the person she represents. She hates how her existence causes pain to somebody she's wired to care so deeply for - sometimes against her will - and she hates seeing him cry or drink himself to death over that dusty old picture thats been sitting on his desk for decades, knowing that she'll only ever make it worse for him in the end, that his grief extends so far into the core of his being that nothing in existence will ever truly fix it.
She's conflicted.
She's Trish. But is she really? Or is that just who she says she is in an effort to push back and ignore the reality of her existence? Nothing more than a fake, a husk of a person who's time was cut short prematurely then taken advantage of by the very being that killed her in the first place.
She's Trish. Not Eva. She can't be Eva, and she never will be Eva. Nothing will change that. Not a dusty old picture, not an old man's delusions, not some dead demon king who breathed life into her form in the first place.
She's Trish. But who even is Trish? Her entire being has always been about Eva. She doesnt know anything else. So she overcompensates with acting sarcastic and sassy, looking hot and sexy and playing with guns and swords because those are things Eva wouldn't ever do herself. Eva. Again, it all comes back to Eva.
She's Trish. Devil hunter and the most 2000s representation of "hot blonde" one could get. Thats who she is. Or at least, that's who she's trying so desperately to be.
Trish needs more love from the developers, her character is so interesting. I have other analysis' of the other characters too if anybody would be interested in that but for now, ill leave you with my take on the iconic blonde from this wonderful series.<3
#devil may cry#dmc#dmc trish#trish devil may cry#character study#character analysis#headcanons#im planning to write a fic on this topic btw#something like trish having an identity crisis#and trying to find that identity through various means#might include some lady x trish in there as a guilty pleasure#ill reblog and link it when/if i do write it
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I think the moment Light's crush on L first smacked him in the manga (like when it finally rooted and started blooming in his guts) was when L was like "you're my first ever friend" whilst smirking into his teacup. And not because Light fully believed he was being sincere about being friends, but because he KNEW L was slyly teasing him and speaking to him on more than one level at once. Nothing more unexpected funny flattering and intriguing than that for him right then
#im thinking about this specifically because of that post about the girl getting a huge crush on her enemy that saved all her threats#bc that's basically that moment for light i think#light tries to squash all positive emotions towards others at all times when he's kira if they interfere with his plans after all#but if L does something like this to him then it forces him to think about his feelings in a strategic preparation sort of way#nay dare i say it basically is giving light permission to do so#he can now hold off on completely stamping out those feelings as soon as they arise#almost (he thinks) as a way to study his enemy and see how full of shit he may or may not actually be about such things#this moment probably starts a shift in light where he can allow himself to acknowledge that he maybe has a bit more than just#enemy feels for L you know#bc maybe L also is having other kinds of feels about him??#whether or not it's true it would impress him as a bold move#and kickstart him having to analyze what he actually does sincerely feel for L#and maybe start reframing and recontextualizing a lot of their tense ambiguous interactions up til that point secretly as well#heck we basically see him doing that when hes like lounging at his desk going HAH if it's friendship he wants then by god it's friendship#he will get#and this game of chicken with L about saying theyre friends keeps him from being able to completely avoid confronting#any complicated feels#like he otherwise probably would#because he legit cant back down from preparing for another battle of the wits with L#both because of his competitive pride and his genuine need to protect himself#would he call it a crush to himself yet#no probably not#i feel like that came later much later#he def would have acknowledged it as such by the end of the story tho#essentially L found a way to create a little wedge to ram in the door to Light's feels#and that is a smart enough move to probably have made Light start developing a crush on him even if he didn't have one already#l lawliet#light yagami#lawlight#p
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I miss old tumblr in the sense that i could complain about board exams and worrying about not getting enough to be eligible for my medical entrance test and i'd have summoned half the indian side of tumblr to sympathize
#im in sm stress#if i dont score above 75% im not eligible for my neet exam#which im planning to take a drop year for#and its gonne be both expensive and emotionally taxing#and i have to give THIS years neet exam too#for reasons#im not in the clear until may 20#adulthood is a scam#And that is well BEFORE i even start preparing for neet#well before i even have to consider the possibility that i might not get in#im pretty much using this post to vent in tags#its like 4 am#and im stressed. scared. everything#its really difficult just existing w adhd and mental illness#much less studying#and neet is like highly competetive#the cutoff goes so high#i want to get out of this city#and be safe and actually be alive for once#a big part of me will shrivel up and die if i stay#and this is the first time i've actually wanted smth for real#tentatively and doubtfully#but wanting still#and idk if i'll make a good doctor or if i'll fuck up and have it all blow up in my fsce#overthinking basically#im worried im not. capable of doing this#anyways desi tumblrinas where are you😭😭😭😭
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to the person who left critical feedback on my bob dylan study I love you . I do plan to mention that in the discussion following the results section because it was SUCH a blunder that I was kicking myself for midway through collecting results but I didn't want to change horses in midstream so I just left the survey as it was. But there were so many little gender-related caveats I forgot to consider to be honest so I'm just rolling with the punches
#the issue is so many lines are blurred when it comes to discussing identity so I didn't want to place too many specifications on what it#meant to be genderqueer. but at the same time it would have been SO helpful to have like a scale with masc and fem on either side to#sort of distinguish the standpoints of different people. which also would have solved the issue of butch cis women and stuff which#I couldn't figure out how to consider without overcomplicating things when I was making the survey#MAYBE IF I HAD PLANNED THIS BETTERRRRRR but it was supposed to be a silly project and I made the survey at like 1am one evening. oh well#maybe I will do it again and it will be amazing and way better. such is the way of studies#to be hoenst I didn't want to overcomplicate it BECAUSE it was a silly project but now that I'm in so deep I may as well go the whole way#but anyway. I'm 2.5k words into this report and I haven't even done the discussion so let's go. it's so gonna reach 4k I just know it#emi's meandering jotts
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Htttoh tae to htttoh jk
#htttoh#yes im rereading again#yes i plan to reread again right after im done#probably wont tho#need to study#but will for sure read rwcbmt instead before another reread of htttoh#drawingspaces i need to be a thought in your brain#not even kidding#im seriously so serious#anyways be as it may im stuck here#so i guess ill just#indulge in the products of her thoughts instead#need a physical copy of htttoh so i can highlight it and all#ao3#drawingspaces#Spotify
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forgive me origins da2 inquisition but every day feels like 🫠🥱😴🫠🥱😴 and im just gonna have to finish ya after veilguard
#work is kicking my ass HARD so far this year and i dont like it#so we're doin cozied up studying recap and lore videos instead#WHICH LET ME TELL YA may not've been my first choice of experiencing DA#but maaaan the more i learn the more and More excited i get abt veilguard#there's a veritable buffet of good Dragon Age food that i didnt fully realize#still a lot for me to catch up on but shoutout to u Lady for ur channel rec. (Ghil Dirthalen) to help me get better set up for veilguard#i do absolutely still plan to play the other games eventually but for now theyre gonna remain on the shelf#maybe during one of my holidays i'll get back around to em and give em the proper attention
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some basic language learning thoughts (based on some common questions i see on reddit forums). as usual, if you don't like the suggestion, feel free to ignore and throw it out! what works best for you will be what works best for you - everyone is different. at the end of the day, if you continue studying (hours add up), study some new stuff (expand your knowledge), and practice/review some stuff you've studied (improve comprehension of what you know), then you'll improve. You can achieve that in a ton of different ways, and any way which motivates you to keep doing it is great.
What's the easiest language to learn? My thought on this question is... it doesn't matter as much as it might feel like it does. If any language is going to take hundreds or thousands of hours of study, you will probably want to have goals that motivate you to study for THAT long, for years. If Danish 'takes less hours to learn' than Thai, but you watch Thai shows everyday and follow thai webnovel writers and twitter, and don't have much interest in anything Danish (and no friends that speak the language), then Thai is going to be 'easier' because you have more reasons to USE it. If Spanish and French seem to take a similar amount of hours to learn, but you're planning to go to school in a French speaking country and get a job there? Well you have a more pressing Need to learn French, that will hopefully help motivate you. The 'easiest' language to learn is the language you have REASONS to learn. The language you will use, and keep using. If you have no pressing reason to learn any language, but want to learn a language? Find reasons. Make goals that require the language.
(Here's one from me - I wanted to learn Japanese, in theory I can mostly do anything I want by just reading/watching/playing translations, however I am the kind of person that really enjoys reading originals in their original form... so that's motivating. My recent kick to study more? A show I want to watch is untranslated, so I better get to studying so I can still watch it.) Your goal can be anything from: I want to visit X, I want to talk to X friend/family better, I want to blog in multiple languages, I want to watch untranslated media, I want to sing my favorite musicians songs easier, I want to work in a country that speaks it, I want access to more recipes in X language, I am into history and want to read a history book from X time period in X language, I want to play a video game before localization, really the sky is the limit on goals you can set. Your goals, and how much you want them, and how often you do the sub-goals (so if reading untranslated cnovels by an author you love is your goal, maybe along the way you read easier webnovels to motivate you and find more writers you like), is going to push you to keep studying. Even if your goal is 'pass language B2 test' if it has a deadline, and it's a goal connected to other goals (like going to work in a country with the language, translating work, writing better), that will keep you motivated. Motivation is what will make a language 'easier.' If you can't find the motivation, even the languages which should take the 'least amount of time' will feel hard.
All that said, I am now about to contradict myself. While I really think motivation is the biggest factor in if you'll keep studying and keep learning... there are languages which due to their similarity to languages you already know, will take less Total Study Hours to make progress. As an English speaker, it only took me 6 months of very lazy unorganized studying (half hour most days) to be able to start reading non-fiction French with only a handful of word lookups per page. A lot of that was because French (especially science words and proper nouns like places) has so many cognates with English. I basically 'had' thousands of words of French I already knew, just because I knew English. It took about a year to read fiction books in French only looking up a handful of words per page, for 'general main idea' comprehension. When studying Chinese, it took me also about 12 months to read fiction, look up a handful of words, and understand the 'general main idea.' But I was studying 2 hours a day. So I studied around 182.5 hours to read French fiction with word lookups, and 730 hours to read Chinese fiction with word lookups. And the Chinese also took longer to learn to read with NO word lookups, since there was no english-cognate carryover to sound-out and over rely on like with French. (Although at a wonderful certain point, you know enough Chinese hanzi that new words are built of mostly hanzi you know, and you can use that to guess the gist of a LOT of new words when extensively reading with no word lookups - that happened for me at about 2 years). My point is: Chinese DOES take more hours of study to reach language skill milestones as an english speaker, compared to French! It took me the same amount of months, because I studied Chinese more hours per day (to make up the difference - and I had a better study plan with Chinese). But if you are a total beginner, and unmotivated and KNOW you will study maybe 1 hour per day and probably not more, then learning a language that is more similar to one you already know WILL take less study hours total to reach skill milestones. And that will hopefully be motivating.
(Another example: I spent 3 months of 1-2 hours a day studying Spanish, and can read Spanish nonfiction - thanks to the similarities to French and English. I can read fiction too but it requires word lookups. Japanese, due to kanji, also got 'easier' to read once I had learned more Chinese hanzi. So if your goals include learning languages with some similarities, then once you learn some of those similarities it will make future learning 'faster.')
I spent a month once studying Esperanto (a constructed language). Do I ever use Esperanto? No. Did I find the experience helpful? Yes. Because Esperanto is designed to be fairly easy for european language native speakers, has no exceptions, it had 1. a lot of similar-words to english so I could practice 'guessing similar words' (a skill I'd use a lot with French and Spanish later), 2. practice guessing what word endings mean grammatically (since Esperanto has no exceptions the grammar patterns are much more obvious than say grammar patterns in French). 3. Practice recognizing spelling to sound connections. Those 3 skills are useful in learning any language, but natural languages will have more exceptions to the patterns.
After spending a month on Esperanto, I saw HUGE progress after studying a few hundred words, noticed a huge amount of grammar patterns and how to notice them, and just generally got the experience of 'this is what skill milestones feel like.' Later, when studying French, I used that experience to recognize French word endings and what they tend to indicate, word functions, patterns in pronunciation, guessing with cognates/similar words, and I knew what the first 'milestones' I was aiming for would be. In a similar pattern: French milestones took me a few months each to hit, so when I studied Chinese later and it was taking 2-3 times as much study time... I knew which milestone to expect myself to 'work toward' and achieve next, and knew what making progress should feel like (even if it felt like it was moving slower) so I didn't give up. I was aware that Chinese language skill milestones might 'take more hours' so I didn't panic when it was taking me almost a year of reading graded readers in Chinese to move on to simple webnovels, whereas in French I'd only been reading graded readers for half a year before I felt ready to move on. I knew the general process, because I'd done it before in a shorter timespan with French, with Esperanto.
Is Esperanto useful to you? Only you know that. I personally did not find it useful in general for me, and didn't continue to study it. But it did teach me 'how' to study a language, what progress to monitor, and gave me the confidence that I was capable of learning.
If you really feel you're incapable of learning any skill in a new language, then spending some time on a language more similar to what you already know (if possible - a language you have motivating goals with), may help you see you are capable and can learn. An addition to this: spend a LOT of hours studying as a beginner, if lack of progress demotivates you. Once you push past the beginner stage, you'll be able to do goal-related things in the language you study and that will keep you motivated. But in the beginning, progress feels slow and you feel very confused. So the more upfront studying you do, the quicker you will push through that hard-to-motivate stage.
Is learning a language that is more similar to ones you know going to take less hours of study? Probably. But either way, motivation over hundreds or thousands of hours, for years, is going to be needed. So the goals you wish to achieve will be more important in your success, rather than how many 'hours' it will take.
What do you do if you get demotivated that it's taking SO LONG to hit the next language skill milestone? Fair concern. I got demotivated OFTEN by how much longer it took to reach milestones in Japanese compared to in French. First: try to keep perspective. It's normal for it to take more hours to understand certain things, if the language is not very similar to ones you know. You have to build a bigger foundation of understanding for lots of totally new stuff. Second: you're going to hate me but I'd suggest upping the study hours per day (or week). Studying Chinese RARELY demotivated me, despite it taking more actual hours of study to hit milestones compared to French, and why? Because I increased my study time for Chinese so I was still REACHING milestones in a reasonable amount of months (very similar to the months it took to hit French milestones). 2 hours a day of Chinese study was more than 1/2 an hour of French study, but 2 hours was doable. And it meant I still got to watch shows and read within a few months, and watch/read without looking many words up (depending on difficulty) by the end of year 1. Once you are doing the goals or sub-goals you have, it becomes so much easier to stay motivated. Once I could watch cdramas before they got translated, or read any novel I wanted using Pleco or Readibu to help? It was very easy to stay motivated and do things I WANTED to do in chinese. From there it was just practice/learn using activities I had the goal of doing.
Finally, similar to the suggestions above, if you find yourself in a motivation rut what can you do? I personally try to do 'study sprints' when I'm getting demotivated and need to see significant progress. What I do is pick a small goal, then spend 1-2 months studying as much as I can to improve in that goal. Suggestions: A beginner may make the goal to study the alphabet, a pronunciation guide, and 300 common words and see how far they get by the end of the month. (If at the end of the month the pronunciation is easier to hear and alphabet is easier to read then they succeeded - and they likely will). Another beginner may make the goal to read graded readers 1 hour per day or more all month and see how much they can read. (If the first graded reader they read is easier to read at the conclusion of the month, such as less unknown words or faster reading speed, then they succeeded - and they likely will see progress). A beginner/intermediate learner into flashcards might try to study as many flashcards in Anki as they can for a month. An intermediate learner may pick an audiobook and try to listen to AS MANY chapters as they can in a month, or may pick a novel and look up every unknown word while reading for 1 hour per day or more, until the end of the month. The idea is to pick a goal where you KNOW you're current skill level, work HARD on studying to improve that skill for a month, and then try to do the skill again and see how much progress you've made. I find it very motivating. It can take months to broadly notice progress milestones like managing to improve in your overall reading skill to tackle more difficult novels. But it can take just A MONTH to learn a few hundred new words and make the current novel you're reading become much EASIER to read, or the current show you're watching to become much EASIER to follow, or for the listening skills you're struggling with to become much more instant and reliable.
Example: one of my most recent sprints was to improve my Chinese listening skills. So for a month, I listened to audio flashcards of chinese-english sentences audio, and audiobook chapters (re-listening to each chapter a few times). I saw progress in 1. The audiobook got easier to understand over time, and 2. I tried watching a cdrama I've watched before, only this time I watched it without any subtitles, and it is now much easier to quickly comprehend and follow the lines (even without chinese subs). A sprint I did after a 2 year funk with minimal japanese progress was to cram study 2000 words in memrise Nukemarine's LLJ decks (took 3 months) then try to play a japanese video game I'd tried playing before the sprint. Another japanese sprint I did was listen to japaneseaudiolessons.com free lessons for a month, to work on improving my listening comprehension and recognition of word-order faster, and it did really help with seeing an improvement in those things.
As a beginner, I think the sprints can help with staying focused on small achieveable goals and seeing your progress (like reading daily, watching a show daily, studying X new words daily, going through a chapter of a grammar book weekly, etc). And then as you get farther and can actually do some of your sub-goals, can help with pushing yourself to some significant improvement in a particular area. (Like if you reached a sub goal of reading easy webnovels, it might be a month where you read a webnovel with more unique words that's 'harder' and look all unknown words up, and by the end of the month you see that medium-difficulty webnovels now feel as easy as the 'easy' ones did at the start of the month).
And then... if you study like me, which tends to be periods of a LOT of study followed by lulls where I might watch/read/listen to the language but not do much active study, then the sprint goal months tend to help cram in 100 hours of study every so often. So that you'll still (on average through the year) have studied 1-2+ hours a day. I do not focus well, and sprint goal months along with more relaxed months where I just watch/read/listen to stuff when I feel like it, is the only way I can get myself to study regularly. If you can consistently study daily, then sprint goal months can help you make Significant progress in a very specific area if some slow-progress area has been demotivating you. (And you can turn the sprint goals into challenges with friends, or tests to see what study methods work great for you versus bore you).
#rant#study plan#study suggestions#i mentioned this before but#i really recommend studying at least 1-2 hours a day#if you're a beginner i even more strongly am insisting you try to get in the habit of 1-2 hours AS MUCH AS YOU CAN#beginners tend to waste more time not knowing WHAT to do#so you'll see slower progress than others#so the more hours you put in as a beginner the quicker you will LEARN what works best for you#and then your progress will become more aligned with other people's progress#if you study 15-30 minutes a day it will potentially take YEARS to see small milestones of progress and you may well get very demotivated#i really messed up by studying French only 30 minutes a day. if i could go back#i wouldve studied French at LEAST 1 hour a day like i did with spanish#also. as a busy adult with a lot of stuff to do: i really recommend AUDIO study resources if u cannot fit 1-2 hours of study-only time#into your schedule. with an audio resource you can fit at LEAST an hour#of study into commute to work/grocery shopping/doing chores time fairly doably.#and even fit audio study into something you do while browsing tumblr or reddit for hours...
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My mum's side of the family: Learn Greek so you can talk to us!
My high school Spanish teacher: You scored really high on the test, I hope you continue to take this class.
My high school French teacher: You're good at French, you should keep studying it.
Personal interests: You should study Japanese so you can learn more about me!
Me, nervously sweating, staring at my Duolingo realizing I might have to learn 4 languages.
#polyglot#languages#linguistics#language memes#i do genuinely want to learn these languages though#before anyone gets concerned about me succumbing to peer pressure and suffering for it#may as well study linguistics at this point tho if I gotta know so many languages#language#multilingual#bilingual#learning languages#prioritise french and spanish for now because they're part of school#then after I do those#learn Greek#then Japanese#that's the plan for now
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Anxiety over year abroad vs excitement over year abroad FIGHT
#i have a meeting w the head of french this week to discuss my options cus they're a bit different since i'm registered disabled at my uni#so while in theory everything is open to me it's going to be more difficult to prove my level of spoken french given i sound Like This#technically the british council can't deny my application for english language assistant based on disability because that's illegal#but it would be harder for me to get support if i needed it#same for unis - while all options are open for me some provide way better pastoral/disability support than others#i'm lucky in that the unis that are good for linguistics are also known for having good support#but study abroad is not my first option for my year abroad - i really want to work!#so yeah i have to discuss my options this week#but i'm also SO EXCITED thinking of the possibilities - if i get a job as an ELA i'll have a salary and i can put some money away each month#the theoretical plan is to go interrailing at the end of my year abroad cus ELA contracts end in May#and i'd only be working 12 hours a week (plus some prep time) so i'd love to get involved in whatever local community i'm in#i can romanticise my year abroad to get rid of the anxiety as a treat!!#also my friends are planning to visit me at some point in that year so it'll be fun to take the language barrier stress off their shoulders#ellis exclaims
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this time around, i'm not going to hide from reality. i'm going to do something-- although it may not be much. i'm going to look and observe, and react accordingly rather than putting my head in the sand like before January 6 shocked me into knowing that if I do nothing, i'm partially responsible. doing nothing... really does nothing. at least if you do something, you have a chance it'll make a difference.
#election#democracy#i hope we get good candidates next time and not as vlad vexler says 'populist buffoons#well according to him they may be more dangerous...#hopefully we get some good stuff going on too tho#not just this relentless trend#of authoritarians#there is always a push and pull#rises and falls-- smaller waves parallel to the other#sometimes opposite#i'm going to study and learn#get expertise in some things#knowledge is power#or the beginning of it#now we know so we can begin to formulate a plan#WOrds#my calling#i must use words...#ie writing#for me
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okkk whatever. early to bed early to rise guy tries to refresh 100 years of history in two hours before going to school and dies <- my plans for tonight/tomorrow btw
#wizardspeak#lowkey my ideal study plan for the next week may feature reading 200 pages in a single day. ummmm#like i can DO IT but i don't want to 😐
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People are like "university is going to be the best years of your life! :D" and then you're on third year, in the field of study you gave no shits about, but you didn't have a choice, because your parents pressured you to go to uni and also you're a damn people pleaser and your opinion doesn't exist. You come back home from the classes, emotionally exhausted. Then suddenly you realize that you made one tiny mistake that day. You fall on your bed and cry for about 10 minutes. And then you calm down and go play Team Fortress 2-
#message to everyone who's planning to go to uni#if you don't get to the field you want to study but you get into other fields you're not interested in#screw that shit and take a gap year#don't give a flip about what your parents say#don't give a flip about anything#because this is your life#and you may really regret that choice if you'll choose something anyway just to 'get that paper'#i'm on the third year on the field i didn't want (social science) and im miserable#nothing is worth it#get into something that interests you at least a little
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