#may or may not connect to previous doodle<3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mblue-art]

man's skull feels like the fkn sun <3

my artjuice is going into shitposting

[dandelionsresilience]

Dandelion News - October 1-7

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my Dandelion Doodles on Patreon!

1. Arctic ozone reaches record high in positive step for climate

“Above-average ozone levels continued to persist through September 2024. This is significant as, previously, spring has been associated with ozone depletion[….] The March 2024 ozone average peaked at 477 Dobson units (DU), which is 6 DU higher than the previous record in March 1979 and 60 DU higher than the average for the study period (1979 to 2023).”

2. Why Massachusetts loves Nibi the beaver and [won the fight] to keep her out of the wild

“Nibi, now 2 years old, is roughly the age when wild beavers embark on their journey to find a mate and build a home. [… But] if Nibi is released in October, she would be ill-prepared for the winter[…. The governor has] issued a permit for Nibi to remain at a wildlife rescue as an educational beaver and inspire folks to protect our natural world."”

3. In Madagascar, Taniala Regenerative Camp aims to heal deforestation scars

“Residents of the villages around Lambokely manage the nursery and market garden crops. “Local communities receive training in agroecology and agroforestry, benefit from improved soil fertility, and earn additional income from intercropping in the agroforestry plots. In addition, community members are incentivized to participate in tree-planting activities.””

4. Tunica-Biloxi Tribe of Louisiana Breaks Ground on $6.4 Million Affordable Housing Project

“The project’s first phase will create three-bedroom homes designed for multiple purposes, including elderly housing, emergency shelter, and support for displaced and low-income Tribal citizens. These homes will be built to meet Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) standards, ensuring accessibility for all.”

5. Scientists say painting roofs this colour could save lives: How does it keep cities cool?

“[Researchers] found that cool, light-coloured roofs installed across all of London’s roofs could have cooled the city by around 0.8C [in 2018]. [… Solar panels] could have cooled the city by around 0.3C, preventing the deaths of 96 people [… while generating] more than half the energy [used by] London during the entire year of 2018.”

6. Travis County [TX] opens center to help keep people experiencing a mental health crisis out of jail

“The walk-in urgent care facility is open 24/7 and provides immediate support for people experiencing mental health crises. From there, some patients may be referred to a residential facility[… where] patients will be able to stay for up to 90 days[….] Jailed individuals may also work with their legal teams to coordinate admission to the facility.”

7. Spain’s first transgender soccer team makes debut in regional men’s league

“A soccer team consisting entirely of transgender men has[…] become the first all-trans squad to achieve federated status in Europe. […] Spain passed a pioneering trans rights bill last year designed to make it easier to change a person’s legal gender identity. […] Players may also choose to use a name that’s different from their legal one[….]”

8. Green Status of Species: Pushing Conservation Ambitions Beyond Preventing Extinction

“[… T]he Green Status of Species [is] a new part of Red List assessments that helps tell “a species’ full conservation story.” […] In addition to quantifying species recovery, the Green Status of Species […] will help to better inform future conservation actions by shedding light on which past actions have contributed most to species recovery.”

9. Hell froze over in Texas – the state will connect to the US grid for the first time via a fed grant

“[The projects will] boost grid reliability, lower energy costs, and support the clean energy transition. […] They’ll also generate nearly 9,000 jobs, supporting local economies[…. In particular, the Texas portion is] designed to prevent outages like the ones during Winter Storm Uri that hit Texas hard in 2021.”

10. Pine martens released to be reintroduced to Devon

“Work to release 15 pine martens into woods across Dartmoor has been completed[….] The eight females and seven males have all been fitted with a radio collars to allow their movements to be tracked. […] They were kept in soft-release pens for three days to get them used to their surroundings before being allowed to run wild, staff said.”

September 22-28 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[chweverni]

my 3teen gang as songs from my playlist (except i barely use spotify)

ik i did one like this before BUT I SWEAR ITS DIFFERENT HERE! the previous one was my favorite songs and this is from my play..list? (i js realized how weird that sounds) BUT GUYS THIS IS ON THE OCCASSION THAT I DID SO WELL ON MY ENGLISH TEST OMFGG

@mellowdyverse (mai, my soulmate <3) - on and on (tyla) ahem. *sweats profusely* this song is literally so hot and cool at the same time, it screams mai in the sense that she's captivating as a person. her long, black, shiny hair; her deep (dark) brown eyes i could (literally) drown in; her addictive personality (bc i wait for her texts EVERY MOMENT) and the way she puts literally ALL her effort into showing you that your love infact is reciprocated by her. (i still hope this song choice isnt too weird for your liking ;-;) the way we connected so instantly makes me feel like there's a red thread of fate somewhere connecting us bc never have i ever clicked w someone this fast (not lying!). it takes me literal AGES to open up to someone so when i first started to talk to you, i was so nervous of losing you haha so i tried my best to keep the conversation going (dont regret it now)

@247yuyu / @leehanascent (yuyu, my mashu <3) - lucid dream (aespa) "no i cant stop love!" need i elaborate? ;) lucid dream by aespa literally has me on a chokehold just like yuyu's out here making me hold my breath with every thing she writes back because when i tell yall she THINKS about everything she writes, i mean it. she also really really matches my energy bc have yall seen our mattbin / haobin interactions? if not i suggest u check it out cuz those posts give me that extra dopamine i need to go about w my day happily :) yuyu's presence is like a happy pill which i dont think ill stop taking anytime soon :( (NOM NOM NOM)

@hyunhanie (lili, #bffsnextdoor) - nostalgia (crush) the day i stop assigning you crush's songs is the day i start lying. literally. crush is like my comfort artist just like how lili is my comfort person :) ill take the stage to appreciate her cat (murrp murrp meow) doodle of me bc 1) HOWD YOU KNOW I LIKE GINGER CATS //// 2) THW FUCKING HALO OVER MY HEAD IM- MISS MA'AM THATS SUPPOSED TO BE OVER YOUR HEAD

like livi.. thats your accessory :( since i like drawing too i will def stir up some doodles (on paper bc im broke js like that) bc that eye reveal was enough for me to come to the conclusion that you're as pretty as your personality!!!!! i love you so so so so so so much lili <333

and thats all! 3teen gang lives again!!!

[fangirl-of-way-too-many-fandoms]

Alright. So.

My today's agenda is:

bring some justice to Wen's actions.

I'm talking about the speculations abt him cheating on Alan that I see on my timeline/dashboard.

Let's goooooo.

Almost every post I see abt this topic mentions that Wen is actually-basically-as-it-turns-out cheating on Alan. And I'm here, at your service, to argue with that. I even have a few facts that will (hopefully) prove my point. Some are more solid, some are not so much, but anyhow.

Fact #1:

the overall feel of the condo/apartment when Wen comes back.

What I mean is that it feels empty, lonely and cold. Of course the colour palette chosen for this scene plays a huge, dare I say gigantic, role in our perception of this place and the vibe of Wen's "home". It highlights calm and cold tones of blue that are generally associated w/ loneliness and sadness.

Look at the tones and colors of that scene. They are pale, dark, kinda hostile and unwelcoming. It doesn't feel like "home", it doesn't have that signature warmth to it that every "Home" has.

And to highlight that feeling of emptiness, we're shown a few shots of a previous night. Which, despite all the 'no complications and deeper connections' thing, still feels warm and full of emotions and feelings. The contrast is literally palpable.

AND. If we can see it and feel it - all of those hints at the atmosphere at Wen's 'home' - than it was probably the intention of the creators. They purposefully created such an atmosphere so that we can get the gist of the state in which Wen's private life is at the moment. And this gist would be that he is lonely. His loneliness is actually appears to be so intense, like you can almost feel it yourself.

Side note: the more I think abt it, the more it seems like he didn't even want to come back. Like he was really reluctant to leave Jim and this little corner of comfort he unintentionally found

This leads us up to fact #2:

the feel of Wen's relationship with Alan.

It seem cold. Again. It seems to be void of affection that is usually more or less palpable in romantic relationships. The main tell-tale of that fact would be the note Alan left. It looked really office-ish. Like the note that you usually leave for your co-worker whom you're not really close with. It's 'strictly business', straight and plain.

When you leave a note for someone close to you, you usually draw some little cute doodles on it or maybe a smiley face or use a pet name/nickname of a person or write some small 'addition' to it like: "The leftovers from dinner are in the fridge. Microwave them and eat"/"I'll be back by 7. Lets have chinese takeout today"/etc. You get the idea. You do it to make the note more personal, to make a person smile, to give the note a warm feel and fill it with emotion. There was none of it.

So. Summarizing these two thoughts leads us to the conclusion that the relationship between Wen and Alan is at the VERY LEAST became cold and devoid of affection and any romantic feels. OR, maybe it even ended for good. And they live with each other for God knows for what reason, the main point of said reason being the lack of another/better option at the moment.

Now. With the speculations and ambiguous vibes of that scene - which everyone may interpret however they want - out of the way we can move on to more solid fact #3:

TAGS at MyDramaList

I'm talking about "Ex-boyfriend comes back" one specifically. Now, I know that we can't trust everything that's written and that we see on the Internet.. BUT mdl so far has been pretty accurate (at least in my experience of using it) with the info it provides. So I don't see why we can't trust this tag.

And by using some logic we can deduct that this mysterious 'ex-boyfriend' will probably be Wen's. And as such, it'll probably be Alan. Since it's mini-series that tend to be not really complicated, so we probably won't be getting any new characters who theoretically speaking can turn out to be someone's ex.

Summing this monstrosity of a post (which was supposed to be a short 3-point list of facts) up I'd like to justify my precious boy Wen's actions and state that he is not cheating per say. Like, personally I'm convinced that he and Alan broke up, so there is no cheating when there is no relationship. But if they haven't like 'officially' broke up - like haven't said it out loud that they are no longer in a relationship - but still there are no more feelings between them anymore, then I still don't really consider it cheating. 'Cus, like, you have no feelings anymore towards this person. Should you talk and break up? Yes. Are you a dummy for not addressing this issue first and jumping into some strangers' bed? Also yes. Can you be blamed and called 'cheater' if you have no feelings anymore? No. And I stand by it.

This turned out to be way longer than I anticipated lol. Sorry not sorry.

If someone will make it through all my ramblings and find them somewhat coherent - thank you. If you also have some thoughts on this, quite controversial, topic - I'm open to a discussion.

[uglypastels]

Slide In // Frat!Tom

(a/n) I’ve never written this au before, in like a full fic i think, so i have no idea if this is good, but i had this idea in the middle of the night and yeah. I hope you guys enjoy. this may or may not have been inspired by a certain post @duskholland made about Tom and his mirror selfies <3 how amazing that he literally just posted one today lol

word count: 16.7k

warning: drinking, mention of drug use (weed), school, social anxiety, some smexy innuendos. i made some big last minute changes, so i hope its all coherent. 

DEEPFAVE: Liking a photo (or any post) from over a year ago.

It was a cloudy morning, and it was early. Really really early. Not even the birds felt up to it, it felt like. The campus was slowly awakening or going to sleep (depending on if you had been to last night’s Delta Kappa party, of course). 

It was cold, and the leaves fell off the branches with each huff of the morning breeze. The grass was wet from the previous night’s rain, and it soaked your ankles as you ran through the small grass field, in hopes to cut a bit off the distance to your lecture hall. 

It had not been your fault that you overslept. You had gone to bed early; your backpack was already packed for the next morning. It was supposed to be a relaxing morning, perfect for easing back into it after a week of sleeping in and celebrating the holidays. How could you have expected that your roommate would barge into your dorm at 2 am, still whoo-ing her drunk ass in the corridor with other wasted idiots? 

And it wasn’t like you were against all that partying and drinking. You would have gone yourself to the frat party, but it just didn’t sit right with you. A giant house full of intoxicated strangers- the anxiety running through you just thinking about it was making you shake. 

So, instead of “living a little”, as your older brother called it, you preferred to stay in bed most evenings, either watching Netflix or reading a book. Yet, still, you had been kept awake for so long last night that you slept through your alarm. What was supposed to be a calm morning turned out to be ten minutes of rushed panic. Eventually, you had decided to skip most of your morning routine, including breakfast, brushing your hair or even putting on a decent outfit. You ran out of your dorm, clutching on to your bag, phone and keys.

Your hair was reasonably alright. It was still in the braid you had made before going to bed, but a lot of hair had fallen out during your slumber. When you looked in the mirror though, you saw that it looked decent so you let it be. Not so much could have been said for your outfit. You kept on the same shirt in which you slept in, which was a slightly oversized grey graphic tee from a random indie concert you had been to ages ago. Unfortunately, it was so cold that you couldn’t just go outside in your shorts, so had to spend a precious minute slipping into a pair of sweatpants that were actually not as bum-looking as you had feared.

Luckily, the walk (or in this situation, run) to the lecture hall was short. So, you survived with only a thick sweater over your arms. 

And so, just like that, you were running through campus. The cold air was piercing your lungs as you inhaled deeply. Each breath started with this whistling sound, as you tried to ignore that pain, and ended in an exhale of a cloud of condensation. Maybe you weren’t in the best shape, but even this horrible experience would not make you sign up for the campus gym. No way. 

You could see the lecture hall doors, the wide wooden panelling already towering over you, and you slowed down. You were trying to catch your breath and composure. As always, the doors were heavy and to add to it, the wood could not handle the temperature, so it was even harder to open them. 

“Oh, let me,” you suddenly heard behind you, almost making you jump. The voice sounded familiar, but it wouldn’t click to a particular face just yet. 

“Thanks,” you breathed out as an arm extended from behind you, clad in a leather jacket, and pushed the door open with ease. You followed the arm up with your eyes and saw how it connected to an actual person. Yes, you definitely recognised him. But what was his name again? 

T- something starting with a T. 

He smiled at you politely, nodding the gesture for you to go inside. 

“Thanks,” you said again, before finally moving. 

“No problem,” he was walking behind you but quickly caught up to your side. You saw in his hand a Starbucks coffee, which almost made your mouth water. 

“Professor Dowling’s lecture, right?” he asked, before taking a sip. Your eyes unconsciously followed the movement as the need for caffeine was growing. 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah,” you shook your head, focusing on anything but the delicious rich smell that you could sense coming from the cup—dark roast. 

“Well, good to know I won’t be the only one late,” he chuckled. Troy? Was that his name? No. He didn’t look like a Troy. 

“We’re not that late,” you checked your phone and cursed internally, “only… nine minutes.” 

“Dowling doesn’t care if it’s nine minutes or nine hours. Late is late.” He took another sip. You had to look away before your stomach realised how empty it really was. 

“True, I guess. Well, it was nice knowing you.” You sighed as you had reached the second door leading to the lecture room. Ty raised an eyebrow. No, his name was definitely not Ty. What was it?!

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, Dowling is gonna kill us, isn’t he?” You explained, and he nodded in agreement. 

He was again the one to slowly and quietly opened the door, giving you insight into the room. You almost yelled out in excitement when you saw that the lights had been somewhat dimmed for a slideshow that the professor was giving. You have Tim (nope, not Tim) a knowing look and smile. You had been saved. Then, the two of you slipped into the room, letting the doors close themself. You saw a few people turn their heads as you walked by together, searching for a seat, but you didn’t think much of it. You would have looked too if someone dared to be late for one of Dowling’s lectures. 

Finally, you found an empty seat. Two, actually. It was in the back of the class, so you hoped that once the lights would go back on, Dowling wouldn’t immediately notice the addition of two more faces. The mystery guy, as you were too tired to think of more names and decided to give up, sat down next to you. He pulled out his laptop and turned it on, quickly putting it on the lowest setting of brightness. Just before he had opened it up, you noticed a few stickers. Between a few references from tv shows and movies, you saw the logo of Delta Kappa. You only recognised it because you had been seeing the logo on almost every notice board the last few days together with the campus-wide invitation for last night’s party. 

So he was a frat boy. 

You looked up to the side at him as you pulled out your laptop and notebook. The notebook was more for doodling than anything. But also to write down some more of the essential or just entertaining parts of the lecture, since you had come to realise that writing things down by hand helped you remember better. 

Your heart stopped beating for a second as you opened your laptop, praying that no embarrassing tabs were open or, even worse, you still had Spotify playing on full blast. But you could let yourself relax when the laptop just showed you your desktop. 

Right then, you could hear your stomach growl of hunger. 

“Here,” suddenly T, as you decided to call him for the time being, slid over his coffee to your small desk. You looked up at him in confusion. He had a cap on, so there was not much you could see in the dark shadow, but you saw his sincere smile. 

You thanked him before grabbing the cup. Since it was Starbucks, you hoped to learn his name finally. But instead, in black marker, was written “Holland”. Last name. Well, that was something.

_________________________________

“Thank you,” y/n said before grabbing the drink, taking a look at the name written on it, and taking a big sip of it, although she quickly pulled it away from her lips, her face distorted in a sour expression. 

“Sorry,” Tom apologised, “my hand had slipped when I was pouring in the sugar.” 

“Yeah, I can tell,” she whispered, still a bit disgusted, but it didn’t stop her from taking another large sip. “How can you drink this stuff?” 

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” Tom grinned. 

Times weren’t exactly desperate, in his case. 

The party had been a massive success. Everyone seemed to have had a great time, and this time, not even at the cost of any of the frat house furniture. Sure, some people might have thrown up in the cooking pans, but that could be easily cleaned up by one of the pledges. 

It all ended around 2 am, which was fairly early, but it was, of course, a school night. Tom remembered to drink water before going to sleep and woke up with only a mild headache. A few painkillers solved that pretty quickly. He got up, stumbled a bit over the mess around the house and was on his way to class. 

He was sure he would have made it on time if it wasn’t for his usual appetite and need for coffee. Yes, he could have made it at home, but for some reason, the coffee from that machine always tasted like piss. And Tom did not want to find out why. So, it had almost become routine for him to stop by the Starbucks that was on the way from the house to the lecture halls. 

What he had not expected was the giant line of customers inside. More people had felt the need for coffee after a wild night of partying. He recognised some girls, still wearing the same dresses they wore to the party. A few guys who looked like they were on the verge of death were sipping their drinks in the corner of the room. The two baristas were running around behind the counter, trying to make the drinks as fast as possible. As fellow students, they knew that there were a lot of people rushing to get to class, at least. 

Tom had even looked at his phone, checking the time before he decided to step into the queue. He had majorly misjudged the time it would take the baristas to make the few drinks before it was his turn to order. In the meantime, people would walk up to him, also recognising him from the party, to tell Tom what a great time they had last night. 

Finally, he got his drink and made his way over to the second station and poured in some sugar. For that extra kick of energy, but also, secretly, because he could not stand the bitterness of coffee. Then, it was really time to leave the crowd. Tom never really minded people and was definitely what you call a “social butterfly”, but there was always a limit. And the limit on a Monday morning was minimal. Even smaller, if you are still trying to get rid of a hangover. 

He had just reached the main square of campus when he saw the big clock. He was already late, so it wouldn’t do much to run. Professor Dowling did not care for excuses or how late you were, even if it was a second. So he could as well just take his time. 

Others had different ideas apparently.

Tom watched as someone ran across the grass, clutching on to their backpack. She stopped at the same door that he was heading for, so he got to have a good look first. The first thing he saw was the back of her head. Hair made up in a braid that was falling apart. A large black sweater, probably her boyfriend’s, was covering most of her frame. 

She was trying to pull open the door that had the word PUSH on them, but Tom didn’t say anything. It was early, and by the looks of her, not that he was judging, she didn’t have a great morning. 

When they had made eye contact, he recognised her from the lectures but did not think he had ever heard her name being mentioned. Professor Dowling loved interacting with the class, no matter how large, and often called out people to answer his absurd questions. She had never put her hand up to answer. Tom was sure of it; he would have remembered her name. 

It interested him to see her pull out, not only a laptop but also a notebook. Did people even use those anymore? Even the dim light he could see the words scribbled on the cover. The decorative style did kind of make it hard to miss it. 

Property of y/f/n.

So that was her name. Tom couldn’t help but smile to himself. 

Having already missed the first ten minutes, he tried his best to focus on the words of the professor, but some things just couldn’t go unnoticed. 

By the look y/n was giving his coffee cup, he could tell that she had not had any herself and the sound of her empty stomach as they sat next to each other only confirmed his suspicion. So, it only felt like the right thing to do to give her some. And the smile he got in return definitely made it worth it. 

His attention was entirely gone by that point, as he watched her open her notebook. It was filled with little drawings. Some were more distinct than others. There were the classic five-petal flowers and the single mysterious eye with no other entity attached to it—also a few little scratchy tornadoes and random filigree. Patches of just lines and different patterns filled up the corners and extended out to the middle of the pages. Tom also definitely recognised a few attempts at bringing back the Super S in there. 

But what also filled up the page were little characters. She must have drawn them during the lectures around Halloween because he recognised a little witch, stylised to the perfect amount of cuteness. There was also a cauldron of bats flying off to the side. 

Tom could have looked at it for much longer and still find some more doodles in there, but unfortunately, she flipped the page. This one was blank. She took out a pen and started to doodle mindlessly.

First, a straight line, to which she attached little ovals. Lightly, but the lines got darker, the more she went over it. Then she made some more lighter lines across it. It made him chuckle when he recognised what it finally was—a piece of wheat. The way she stopped drawing for a second, Tom thought that she had not realised what she was drawing either. It was just a random coincidence where a few lines suddenly could make up an existing object. Then she continued. 

From time to time she’d stop to make a note somewhere in the middle of the page, something that professor Dowling said that made her giggle. It was adorable to hear. 

“Now, this,” Tom could hear the professor say from his little podium, the two little words shook everybody in the room awake because those they were code for IMPORTANT. As Dowling kept on talking, y/n closed her notebook and pulled her laptop closer to type. Tom had to pull himself together to focus on the actual lecture.

Then the sound of her stomach pulled him out of that. That was followed by the whisper of an angry “fuck”. Tom looked over to y/n again. She was trying to type something out, but her shaking fingers kept pressing the wrong buttons. She was crumbling apart from hunger. 

Crumbling… 

Suddenly, Tom remembered. He leaned down to look in his bag, hoping it was still there. It was.

“Hey,” he nudged her side, making her look up at him once more, with caution. He grabbed the small pack of Oreos and slid them over to her desk. She looked perplexed. Then she pushed the, slightly flat-looking, cookies back to Tom. He frowned. 

“I thought I’m not supposed to be taking candy from strangers.” She whispered. Tom chuckled and pushed the pack of four cookies back to her. 

“Well, good it’s not candy then. Eat. I can tell you’re starving.”

Y/n looked at the Oreos, not sure whether to take them or not, but her stomach answered for her.  She opened her mouth, but then she closed it again and turned away. Tom understood it. It would have been the fourth time she would have said: “thank you”. By now, he got the message. As she opened the packet of cookies, Tom went back to listening to the lecture. 

_________________________________

You hesitated before taking the cookies. Were they some kind of prank? You knew how frat guys loved to pull jokes on everyone, even if they were no better than middle school hijinks or cheesy April fools clichés. But the silver packet, except that it looked a bit flat, seemed to be untouched. Most likely because of getting squashed by something in his backpack. 

You opened it and were immediately hit with the delicious whiff of chocolate. You took out one cookie and didn’t bother with the usual way of splitting it open to eat the filling first. You needed food. Now. Even if it were just four broken Oreo cookies. It was better than nothing.

Obviously, you were still hungry and in need of a proper breakfast, but the small snack helped you hold out for the rest of the lecture. 

But now that your stomach was sorted for, you had another problem concentrating. Your new, still unnamed, friend tended to type very loudly. At first, you looked over in a bit of annoyance, which made you actually notice his hands. There was nothing special about them. They were naturally just hands, but the way he moved his fingers across the keyboard… it made you look back in that general direction a few times more.

Probably because of all these distractions, the usual hour and 45 minutes felt much shorter. Before you knew it, professor Dowling was saying his goodbyes and everyone around you started packing up their things.

Needing to get some food ASAP, you packed up your things and practically ran out of the room. Only as you were nearing the cafeteria did you realise that you had never said goodbye to your snack provider. 

Shit.

_________________________________

“Hey, so I was thinking-” Tom was going to suggest grabbing a bite for breakfast together, being somewhat hungry himself, but when he looked up y/n had already packed her things and was on her way to the stairs, following the other students out the door. 

Tom sank back down into his seat. 

“Any problems, Mr Holland?” Tom’s head shot forward to see professor Dowling looking up at him. When he looked around, he saw he was the only one who had not started packing up. 

“No, everything’s alright, sir,” Tom said before getting up with his laptop. “Great lecture. Learned a lot... and stuff.” 

“Good, good,” Dowling said. His glasses were slipping off his nose slightly, so he pushed them back up with his middle finger. “I did not expect you to have heard anything, by the way you and miss y/n were chatting.”

The professor’s words made Tom’s cheek burn up as he pushed the laptop back into its place in his bag. That man saw everything.Suddenly he felt as if he was in middle school again.

“Try to not make it a habit.” 

“No, sir,” Tom said.

Dowling just nodded, meaning the conversation had ended and giving Tom permission to sprint out of the room. 

He wasn’t sure why he was in such a hurry. Maybe he was hoping to find y/n waiting outside the doors. He didn’t even know why he wanted to see her there. He just did. He had this urge just to watch her doodle in that notebook of hers. There was something so endearing about it. 

Alas, no one was waiting for him outside that door. Or even in the proximity of it. There was no one but groups of students making their way from and to class. 

Then, Tom realised that she must have run off to the cafeteria. Still, he decided against going there. As much as he wanted to talk to y/n again, he didn’t want to come off stalkerish. Besides, they’d have another class tomorrow. He could speak to her then. 

“Ayo! Holland!” Tom looked over to a group of people he recognised to be his friends. They were gathered around one of the large windows that was open in the hallway. He waved to them before making his way over. 

“What’s up, man? You looked like a lost puppy.” Jacob said. 

“No nothing, I just zoned out a little, I guess.” Tom shook his head, clearing it off thoughts of y/n. 

“Well, we were thinking,” his best friend and fellow Delta Kappa resident, Harrison joined in on the conversation, “There is this new bar opening next week. The… something- shit, what’s it called again?” He looked over at the rest of the group. 

“The Sterling,” it was Zendaya that answered. She was sitting on the window sill with both legs in front of her, not living much space for anyone else to sit. She had something between her fingers, and Tom could not make out if it were a regular cigarette or a joint. (The smell insinuated at nicotine, so that answered for itself.) The fact that they were on campus did not make much difference to them. She took a drag and blew the smoke out, before handing it to Harrison. 

“So, Holland, you’re in?” 

“Yeah of course.” There’s nothing like the hysteria of drinking yourself sick in some new dingy place across campus. A new one would open up every few months because its predecessor would get shut down after too many accounts of selling alcohol to minors. It had almost become a game for younger students to see how quickly they can destroy a business. Tom and Harrison had been record holders for a while. Five weeks. Tom wasn’t exactly sure how anyone could tell they were the reason for The Six-Ball to close, but it didn’t matter. (“With a name like that, they deserve to shut down,” Harrison had joked before ordering two Long Island Iced Teas.)

Now that they were of the legal drinking age, of course, maybe it wasn’t as fun to go to those shitty holes in the wall, but with the right people, they made it a party every time. 

“Nice! So-” Jacob started talking about how he thought the night had to go, but Tom was already zoned out again. Between Zendaya and Harrison, he had the perfect view of the small grass field. Some people had sat down there with their friends to enjoy the midday, but most people still considered it too cold to sit outside. But what Tom was looking at was behind the grass field. It was the cafeteria doors. He saw that large sweater again. y/n walked out, holding something that looked like a sandwich. Tom smiled to himself. 

“What are you smiling about?” He got nudged in the ribs by someone. 

“Oh, you know, the uhm-” he had no idea what the rest of his friends had been talking about to include in his lie.

“I know,” Harrison said, lounging his arm across Tom’s shoulder to point in the same direction that Tom had been looking at. Tom froze up when he pointed straight at y/n with his finger. 

“Angela Pikowski.” 

“What?” It took Tom a second, but indeed, right in front of y/n, stood Angela with her own group of friends. She laughed at something, whipping her bottle bleached blonde hair across her shoulder. He understood too, how Harrison had caught her so quickly in his vision, for she had her jacket open and her shirt was pretty tight and low cut. How did that girl not catch pneumonia or some shit? 

“You ain't slick, bro.” Harrison patted him on the back. Tom, not wanting to get into it more than he needed, just grinned awkwardly. When he looked out into the square, Angela still stood there, but y/n was gone. 

_________________________________

The campus food was never that good, but it didn’t matter. The feelings of having actual food in your body felt so good that it might as well have been a five-course meal from a three-star Michelin restaurant. While, in reality, it was just a little bacon, egg and salad sub on stale bread. 

It did not matter. 

You enjoyed your breakfast as you walked down the path, back to your dorm. After that horrendous morning, and the pretty… interesting lecture, you were ready to lock yourself up in a room and do nothing but watch Netflix. And thankfully, due to having only one morning class, you could actually do it too.  

You said your polite “Hi”s and “Hello”s as you passed some other people you recognised from other classes. A bit hopefully, you were on the lookout for your (still nameless!) friend from the lecture. You really had to figure out what his name was. 

By the time you had reached your dorm building, your sandwich was gone. A part of you was still hungry, but you ignored that. You were probably just bored anyway. 

The dorm hall was basic in every way, from the carpeted grey floor to the plainly painted walls. But the inhabitants, of course, did try to give it some life. They hung up posters and banners, flags and lights. You reached the door that was decorated with a collage of different 80s glam rock artists and walked into your room. That college had been a little bonding experience with your roommate, Marie, during the very first week of Freshman year.

When you walked in, your eyes were immediately drawn to the lump on one of the beds. A groan erupted from underneath it when you switched on the light. 

“Ruuuude,” Marie yelled out. She came out from beneath the sheets. Her hair was bigger than ever, and you could see the mascara and eyeshadow stains under her eyes, and there was still some glitter on her. 

“You know, you should take off your make-up before going to sleep,” You said as you took off your sweater. 

“You know, you should put some on before leaving the house,” she said before diving back underneath her sheets. 

“Ouch,” you both laughed. But you couldn’t help but take a look in the mirror as you passed it. Maybe you could have used some concealer under your eyes, but it wasn’t that bad. Right? 

The room the two of you lived in maybe wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small either. You were definitely one of the luckier people in the building. Your room, after all, had just enough space for the two beds, desks and closets to mirror each other on each side of the room. You also went the extra way to put up some extra shelving on your side above the bed, since one closet was not enough. 

“Didn’t you have class this morning as well?” you asked as you sat down on. You could hear something coming from Marie that resembled an “Mhm”. Not in the talking mood, got it. 

So, in quiet, you pulled out your laptop and searched for something that did not look mind-numbingly dumb to watch, eventually settling for a show you had probably watched five times out of pure overwhelming of choice. After a while of moving around in your bed, you found a comfortable position at last and turned the show on, ready for a day of uninterrupted laziness. 

_________________________________

Tom got home a bit later than he had hoped. After making plans for the next night, his friends were determined to go out for lunch as well. What he thought would be just a quick grab-and-go, turned out to be a full two-hour lunch where they talked about anything and nothing. 

He loved the company of people, but not on Mondays. Mondays were his day to do nothing except for going to class, and Tom felt like he had already done too much. 

When he did get back, people were still busy cleaning the aftermath of the party. It had gone a bit wilder than Tom remembered. Some jackass had decided to spray paint one of the upstairs hallways, and the colour was not easy to get off. Luckily, it had become almost a custom for all the house members to lock their doors during a party. For privacy sake firstly, but like anything at Delta Kappa, it turned a bit into a game. 

The first two unlock their door, either if the person was too tired to stay at the party or wanted to bring a guest into their room, was obliged to do something horrible. It was up to the rest of the house to decide what. Fortunately for Tom, he had not been the first to unlock his door that night. That luck fell on poor Billy.

Even if it came to be so, the rule didn’t make sense because no one could check who the first one was to open their door and even if- it was not an official Delta Kappa rule. That meant that, even if the person got caught to be the first, they could simply deny the dare. They would be known as Head Chicken, of course, but there were worse things in life. 

Tom moved up the stairs, saying hi to a few of his roommates, feeling very lucky as one of the senior members of the house, he did not have cleaning duty. Most of that was up to the pledges anyway. 

He remembered when he had to do all those tasks and shit to get into the house. It was so stupid; he didn’t even understand why he chose to be in a fraternity, in the first place. 

He did think the other guys had gone a bit softer on himself and Harrison since at the beginning of it all, they had been chosen by the sorority of Alpha Zeta Zeta as the favourites. Still, some unspeakable things had been done that year. 

But now that he lived in a giant house with some of his best friends, it all felt like it was a bit worth it. He had a great time at Delta Kappa. 

One of the best pros, by far, was that he had his own bedroom. Spacious for everything he needed plus a bit more. A large, unmade, bed waited for him when he opened the door. That, and the happy barks of Tessa. 

“Hello, darling,” he bent down to pet her as she jumped to his knees. Tessa was the official mascot of the fraternity, but she had very early on found a great liking to Tom. It only took her a few days to get settled in his room, and from then on, she wouldn’t sleep anywhere else. 

Tom moved up to his bed, and Tessa gladly joined him. She patted down a circle before lying down with her head on his chest, letting out a satisfied huff of air. Even if he wasn’t comfortable, Tom had no way out anymore. He was stuck. With nothing else to do, he took out his phone and went through his notifications.

Some texts from Harrison and Jacob, a missed call from that girl he made the mistake of giving her his number. People were getting Wi-fi again because he got at least twenty different Snapchat pictures and videos from the party. 

What else there was plenty of, were Instagram mentions and tags. He went through the photos, smiling. It really had been a great party. Then, something popped up in his mind. 

Property of: y/f/n 

y/f/n

Could it be that easy? He could just search for her and hope to find her account. He typed it in. Her first name was already enough to get plenty of results. As always the profile pictures were too small to really make out a true identity, so he made his way through the accounts. 

He only needed three tries, though. The picture already resembled her, so with hope, he clicked on the account. 

This account is private. Follow this account to see their photos and videos. 

Tom sighed. Not so easy after all. Then he saw the bio. It was a bit vague, just a few random emojis. But what interested him was the Followed by and the fifteen mutual followers that she had. It couldn’t be anyone else. 

For some unknown reason, his heart was beating in his throat as he clicked on the blue Follow button and watched it turn grey. Now it was just a matter of waiting until his request got accepted. Or maybe denied. Who knows. 

_________________________________

Watching a show for the fifth time got a bit boring. You could still laugh at the jokes, but at the same time, you could also almost flawlessly quote it as the scene went along. So, a few episodes in you took out your phone and started scrolling through various app feeds.

Marie had fallen back to sleep since you could hear her snore in her bed. And you were falling asleep slowly too. It was so warm in your room, and your bed was so soft and comfortable. Your eyes were getting heavier by the second. 

Then a notification popped up, brightening up the screen in your hand. Half-awake, you tried to read it. 

(your account): Tom Holland (@tomholland2013) has requested to follow you. 

Tom? Your mind took a moment to process. Then the face finally clicked to the name. Tom! His name was Tom! 

Without much further thought you accepted the request and before you even put your phone down, you fell asleep. 

_________________________________

Not to sound desperate, Tom waited for a good half hour before rechecking his phone. He clicked on the Instagram app and the search icon. Her account was still the last one from the recent searches he made. Tom clicked on the account and, to his unexplained surprise, he was greeted with a gallery of pictures. 

He had noticed earlier that the count on top of the page said 53 Posts. Interested, he clicked on the first one. It was a picture of a coffee cup. It wasn’t tagged, but Tom recognised it to be from that café Le Moulin. He saw the distinctive black windmill on the napkin that could not be missed. 

He scrolled down. 

It was a selfie from last summer. The filter slightly enhanced her bright smile on the picture, but Tom could tell it was more to show off the warm atmosphere of her holiday destination. The next photo was from the same holiday, he assumed, of her and a group of friends. He recognised the girls from campus. When he tapped the picture for the tags, he saw their names. @tiffani.btx @bonne_marie @lucywithnodiamonds 

He thought to have spotted that Marie chick at the party. She was French if he remembered correctly. She was definitely a wild one. Might have even grinded up against him during one of the better songs that were played. 

There were some more selfies, solo and with friends, sunsets and landscapes. The picture quality got worse as he scrolled down. It matched with the timeline. People should not be keeping up their pictures from seven years ago, especially not with all those fucked up filters they used back then. Tom was, of course, one of those people. 

He scrolled to the last picture; it was of a dog—one of the cutest little labrador puppies. 

Out of nowhere, Tessa barked in her sleep, making Tom jump up. This sudden movement, in its turn, woke the dog up completely. Tessa kept barking. 

“Right, I think it’s time for a walk, what do you think?” He patted Tessa on the head as she tried to lick his arm. Tom got up and was about to leave his room when he realised he almost forgot his phone. The screen hadn’t turned off yet, so he looked at the puppy again. But something was off this time. Something had changed. 

The little blank heart under the image- it was now pink. 

He accidentally liked her oldest picture. 

_________________________________

There were two types of naps. Those that made you feel amazing and refreshed by the time you got up. And those that made you feel like you had fallen asleep on a bed of rocks. You felt even worse than before when you woke up. Your head was throbbing, and your bra had pushed itself into every possible part of your chest, making it that much more uncomfortable. 

“What time is it?” you asked Marie, but she was still asleep. 

The light of your phone almost blinded you, so you quickly put down the brightness. It was around four o’clock. Meaning you had slept for a good three hours. 

Besides the time, you checked your notifications. There were not a lot of them. A few spam emails, a few texts in a group chat you never responded too and… a like on Instagram? 

tomholland2013 liked your photo. 1 h 

You had to think back to the moment before your nap to remember that he had in fact requested to follow you. And you had accepted it. 

You clicked on the notification, and it sent you to the liked picture. To your surprise, it was the picture of your family dog, Spot. Your family had picked the name even though he was a completely yellow labrador, loving the irony. 

It was your first-ever picture, from over seven years ago. Had he been stalking your account? Why the fuck would he do that? 

Well, you thought, it was only fair if I do it too. So, through the like, you made your way over to his account. 

First thing you noticed was the number of followers he had. 15.7k How the fuck do people even get those numbers? Well, it’s easier if you’re a hot frat guy, of course. 

His profile picture was a mirror selfie, and clearly, it was his favourite composition, for at least five out of the first nine pictures in the gallery were the same style. All full-body reflections, with him holding the phone in his right hand, leaning his head a bit to look at the screen as he took the picture. His lips weren’t exactly in a smirk, but there was that cockiness in there. He really was feeling it, that was obvious. 

The first picture was a classic mirror pose- A black jacket and a black hat: the same outfit he had been wearing in class. You looked at the timestamp and saw that he only posted it an hour ago. Already it had dozens of comments and a low thousand amount of likes.

You scrolled down. A denim jacket and beanie in the mirror; a grey t-shirt and sweats in the mirror; a black suit in the mirror, the list could go on. There were other pictures, mostly from the frat house parties and other events where alcohol played a significant role. There were also the occasional front camera selfies. 

You couldn’t help but look at those a little bit longer. There was something about that small tight smile that he made that was so cute. In one of the more saturated pictures, with a deeper shadow, you noticed that his nose actually had a little bump in it, most likely from breaking it in the past. 

But just from likes alone, you could tell that the mirror was a public favourite. 

There was something about the confidence that the pictures portrayed that spoke to you.. He knew he looked good, and no one could deny it. Except, he looked so much better than good. 

It was interesting to be scrolling down his posts because it was like a trip back in time. At first, it didn’t wasn’t that obvious, just maybe a change in temperature during the year that was referenced through his clothing. Then it showed a bit more as his hair started to get shorter by each picture taken. It got shorter and shorter until his hair was not much more than a buzz. The reason for the drastic hair change was explained in the next picture. 

You had already scrolled down four years worth of pictures, and this one was of him (taken by someone else). Tom was standing in a victory stance on a grass field, which you recognised to be the campus square. He was only wearing boxer shorts and on his chest was painted, in bright blue paint, 𝜟K. Underneath the post, read the caption: Delta Kappa babyyy! with a bunch of other hashtags. One that was included was #deltakappapledge #initiated. Of course, it was during his pledge period. 

You kind of hoped that he had to do more than just shave off his hair because he didn’t even look half that bad. It even suited him actually. Hoping to find some more evidence of that embarrassing period, you scrolled on. 

The sound that came out of your mouth as you scrolled to the next picture was inhumane. Keeping to tradition, it was a mirror selfie. Behind him seemed to be some workout equipment, possibly from the campus gym, but no one would look at that. Everyone would be too focused on what was in the foreground. 

It was Tom standing in front of a mirror, chest glistening with sweat as his hair draped in front of his eyes. Instead of the usual pose, he stood sideways, showing off not only his flexed bicep as he took the picture, but also the outline of all his other muscles.

Completely forgetting what you were doing, you double-tapped the post. How could you not? Only a second later, did your monkey brain realise what you had done. You had made that exact same mistake as Tom. Except while he had liked a picture of a cute dog, you had made your mark on a shirtless selfie.

As the pure humiliation flooded over you, you threw your phone to the other end of the bed with a squeak. 

What’s done was done. 

_________________________________

Tom came back from the walk with Tessa after an hour. They both enjoyed a long walk around the park neighbouring the campus, just to then pretend like they were too exhausted and lay in bed the rest of the day. Well, Tom pretended. Tessa seemed legitimately tired. 

They went back to their position on the bed. Not sure what else to do, Tom got back to Instagram. There was no reaction to his accidental like yet. Not even a follow back from y/n. A bit rude but okay, maybe she hadn’t seen it yet? 

He shook his head. He didn’t like this weird side of him. Where had it even come from? Since when did he wait for anyone to respond to him? And they weren’t even having a conversation! 

Having nothing else to do, he searched through his phone gallery for a good picture to post. He chose one he had taken during lunch, on his way from the bathroom. It was still crazy that his friends wanted to go to a place where you needed to take an elevator to go to the toilet. 

He didn’t care for editing, so he went through the usual Instagram process of making a post, thought of some dumb caption and send it out into the internet. Soon enough, as if they had a notification on for his activities, the likes streamed in.  For the first few minutes, he tried to look through them, again hoping that y/n would be one of the likes or the heart eyes emojis in the comments, but quickly it became too much, and Tom couldn’t keep up. He still enjoyed reading the comments.

Of course, it was all one big ego boost. The praise and compliments, even if it was for something as shallow as his looks, definitely gave him a good kick of dopamine and all those other happy chemicals during the day. 

Tessa was snoring and drooling on his belly as Tom went through his timeline and explore page. There was not much exciting happening in peoples’ lives, but it made the time flow by faster. An hour had gone by probably when he decided to recheck his activities. His new picture already had a few thousand likes and was close to reaching a hundred comments.  He went through some of them and either liked them or responded with a matching emoji. 

But as he scrolled through the activity, he saw a like that was to a different picture. A rather old one too, just from the beginning of college. And who might have liked this picture? y/n 

She liked a workout selfie, huh?

With the confidence that the like gave him, Tom clicked on her account and the message button. He thought about what to send for a moment but decided against overthinking it and went with a simple- 

_________________________________

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: Hi 

You looked at the notification for a while. He definitely saw you had liked his old picture. Was he going to make fun of you? Tease you how you had outed yourself for thirsting over him? 

But maybe he just wants to talk? You tried to sound optimistic to yourself. After all, he did like an old picture of yours too. You were kind of in the same boat.   

Putting all worries aside, you clicked on that damn nerve-wracking notification, and without much more thought send out the reply. 

(y/n)

Hey :) 

Before you could even send out the smiley, the message rose to reveal “SEEN” beneath it. Was this happening? Was it? You could see he was typing. 

(tomholland2013)

After stalking me you could have at least followed me back lol 

(y/n)

Right sorry just a lot of mirror selfies. Thought i’d seen everything there is to see 😂

(tomholland2013)

Rude Seen anything you like though? ;)

Uhhh, of course, you have. You liked it. A lot. But you weren’t going to give him that satisfaction. 

(y/n) 

No not really 

Quickly change the subject. 

So what are you up to? 

Good enough subject? 

(tomholland2013) 

Just lying in bed with Tess

Tess? Who was Tess? Did he have a girlfriend? If he did, he would have posted something on his Instagram, right? That’s what couples did? Unless it was just a one time fling. You couldn’t even call it a one-night stand since it wasn’t even night. 

Wait, why did you even care about that? You had literally only said hello to each other and shared a coffee during class. 

But the curiosity was gnawing at you.

(y/n) 

Tess? 

(tomholland2013)

Yeah, she’s falling asleep on my chest. Kinda tired her out lol

You looked at the text, unsure how to respond, or even if to do it. Was he telling you about his hookup?  It didn’t sound like the nice guy you had met in front of the lecture hall, and that gave you his leftover coffee and Oreos. Your face wrenched into a grimace, not sure anymore what to make of this conversation or of what had happened during class.

He was typing again. 

Wanna see? 

Jesus Christ, this was a mistake. You didn’t respond, but he still sent you a picture anyway. It was a timer, unfortunately, meaning you had to click on it to see what he had sent. But he could see you got the message and that you were online. The longer you took, the more prominent you would make it that something was wrong, and you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He had given you his coffee. 

The curiosity got the better of you once again, though, and you clicked on the little bomb. What popped up was almost what you expected- but at the same time, so not. Before your brain properly processed what you were looking at, you were scared that he had sent you an unsolicited dick pic, but it was the furthest thing from that. 

What you saw was a POV shot of his chest and legs. He was indeed lying on his bed. On his chest, however, was the head of a grey silver dog. “Tess” had her eyes closed peacefully as she slept on. 

Of course, it was a dog. 

You decided to be honest. For the benefit of the conversation, if anything. 

(y/n) 

Omg 💀 

(tomholland2013)

We just came back from a long walk, so she’s pretty knackered  What?  Did you think I meant something else? 

Embarrassment kicked in anyway. 

(y/n) 

No... lol 

(tomholland2013)

You sooo did lmao Jealous much ;)

(y/n) 

Of the dog maybe

(tomholland2013) 

Cause she gets to be here with me? 

(y/n)

No I meant it like  She’s so cute  I want one

(tomholland2013)

Relax  I was just messing with you  But if you ever wanna come over

(y/n) 

Maybe another time 

The response came out in a panic. Had he invited you for what you thought he did? No, there was no way he did. Besides, you couldn’t go to his house. You barely knew the guy- your mind kept on whirring about it. But the conversation continued.

Soon the sun had gone down, and it got dark outside, but the messages kept coming in. At one point Marie finally woke up from her hangover slumber. Drowsily she got up and headed for the shower with a towel and toiletries bag in her hand. Before she left, though. She asked you if you could prepare something to eat for dinner since she was starving. You being you, agreed.

(y/n)

Hey, I think I gotta go for a bit. Gotta make dinner for my roommate

(tomholland2013) 

What’s on the menu? 

(y/n) 

Probably spicy ramen? 

(tomholland2013) 

Damn. sounds good But can’t she make it herself? 

_________________________________

A part of Tom wanted to send another message. I want to keep talking to you. But that felt like a bit much. She was typing again anyway. 

(y/n) 

Because she’s still hungover from your party lol Thank for that btw 

(tomholland2013) 

You make it sound like i am personally responsible 

(y/n) 

Well your the only guy from DK i know so  you’re**  💀fml. There go my chances of an english degree 

(tomholland2013) 

Nah babe YOU’RE good ;)

 _________________________________

Your heart fluttered at the little word, for no reason. It was just a text message. He probably called every girl he texted that. Still, the sentiment was there. Also that winky face of his. Could he stop? 

He started to type again. 

(tomholland2013) 

But if you ever wanna meet the other guys, you really are welcome to come over. 

(y/n) 

I’m good thanks. 

Going to a frat house alone? You felt like that could easily be the start of your personal horror movie. It would absolutely crash at the box office, but that didn’t matter. And it was the second time he invited you to come over. If it was a hint, it wasn’t a subtle one. It didn’t stop you from doubting it.

(tomholland2013)

No need to be scared. They’re pretty chill dudes. 

It was cute how he could read your mind because you were undoubtedly scared, but what he probably did not think was that you weren’t interested in meeting any other frat guy because there was only one on your mind at the moment. 

(y/n) 

Maybe another time  ttyl? 

You had sent the last message in the hopes that he had as much fun talking to you as you did with him. You watched eagerly as the three dots danced around on the screen while he typed out his answer. 

(tomholland2013)

 Absolutely

_________________________________

Tom turned his phone off with a smile covering his face. He had just spent talking a good two hours to y/n, and he had to admit, he hadn’t had that pleasant of a conversation with anyone in a long time. It was just so easy to talk to her. It might be partly because it was only texts. But still, she was funny, sweet, and so pretty...

Unbeknown to himself, he was falling a little bit for y/n. Although, maybe he did feel it coming. The idea of getting another text from her made his face heat up. The idea of seeing her in class the next day almost made him… giddy. And it’s only been a day. 

“Hey, man,” there came a knock on his door. “Better hide anything that would make it awkward between us cause I’m coming inside in 3-2-1-” 

“‘S all good,” Tom said right as Harrison walked through the door. 

“We’re gonna order pizza, what do you want?”

“Just the usual, I guess,’ Tom shrugged. Honestly, he didn’t really feel like eating pizza but to be the only one that wasn’t having any wasn’t a good strategy either. 

“Alright, then.” As quickly as he walked in, Harrison was also leaving the room. But he peeked his head through the door once more before actually walking away. 

“Hey, are you sure you’re good?” Harrison looked at him through narrow eyes.

“Yeah,” Tom answered as he prodded himself to sit up. “Why?” 

“I don’t know… Nevermind.” And with that, Harrison left to share Tom’s order. 

It was a rare occasion that all the house members would be at home on a night that wasn’t reserved for a party. That night, when it came to dinner, it was around 8 of them. Everyone was already sitting on the couches when Tom came downstairs to grab his pizza. He grabbed a chair and his box and sat down. A football game was playing on tv, and it made Tom roll his eyes. He still had no real idea of how football was supposed to work. He always preferred golf or basketball, or even baseball. 

The guys cheered at a touchdown or whatever but all Tom could focus on was his phone. He kept checking if there were any notifications from y/n. So far, there was nothing. She was probably busy, he told himself, not wanting to feel too disappointed. 

 _________________________________

“So who were you texting back then?” Marie said as she slurped on her noodles. You were playing around with your own portion a bit, not really in the eating mindset.

“Huh? No one.” you shook your head.  

“So it is someone. C’mon. Who is it?” She extended her leg to poke yours. She kept going until you finally gave in. 

“Just this guy from Dowling’s class.” you finally took a bite of ramen. 

“Aaand does this guy have a name?” Marie kept on asking. 

You looked up from your cup of noodles. “Tom… Holland.” 

Marie gasped, almost dropping her food onto her lap. “Tom Holland? As in Delta Kappa Tom Holland?’ you nodded your head yes. “No fucking way.” 

“What?” Not the most nuanced reaction, but it would do. 

“No way you have a crush on Tom fucking Holland.” You always noticed that when Marie cursed her French accent would show up again. Just the slightest bit. This time, however, what you stayed on was her statement. 

“I do not!” you said as your cheeks were heating up. 

“Ohhh, you do. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have said ‘nobody’. Everybody knows that ‘nobody’ is code for either crush, boyfriend, or drug dealer. And I think we can exclude the last option.” you were going to protest, but you would have only been fooling yourself. 

“So, hypothetically, let’s say I do have a crush on him. Why did you scream out ‘No way’?” You bit your lip, a bit scared for an answer. 

“No, no, no. I didn’t mean it like that.” Marie put down her ramen on her desk and came to sit down next to you on your bed. “I didn’t mean that you, like, don’t have a chance with him. Please, if anything, you’re too good for him.’ you both chuckled. “I just didn’t think he’d be your type.” 

“What, hot?” You raised an eyebrow to which she slapped your shoulder. 

“You’re being difficult. I mean, so… out there. You know, he’s basically the leader of that frat house, he always parties, always has stuff to go to. And you’re… well, pretty much the exact opposite. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Completely not. I just don’t want you to put yourself in any positions that you’re uncomfortable with to impress him or anything. Remember, you are too good for him.” 

“Thanks.” you hugged her from the side. “But don’t you think that it would be good for me to go out once in a while? Out of my comfort zone?”

“Sure, if you’re actually doing it for you. Not some guy.” 

“He is really nice, you know.” you smiled, remembering what had happened that morning. You went on telling Marie about it. 

“Oh, so he’s got a crush on you too, huh? That works out perfectly. ” She finally said when you were done telling your story. You looked at her with wide eyes. 

“What? Noooo,” you said, letting an awkward laugh escape through the no. 

“Fine, whatever,” Marie moved back to her own bed and grabbed her cup of ramen. “But I bet you that if you check your phone now, you’ll have at least one message from him.” 

You rolled your eyes again but grabbed your phone either way. And, fair enough, you had two notifications from ten minutes ago. 

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: Heyy

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: I hope the ramens good

Holding in your smile, and ignoring the smart ass comments of Marie, you replied quickly. 

(y/n)

It was :)

_________________________________ 

The speed at which Tom checked his phone when he felt the vibration in his pocket could have caused someone severe whiplash. He responded to the text and got up. Ultimately, he had hoped that he could slip out the room unnoticed, but he never got what he wanted, did he? 

“Where are you going?” It was Dave that saw him get up. Tom stopped in his tracks like a little kid that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

“Just up to my room. Feelin’ a bit tired.’ He explained. This answer received several strange and confused looks, but Tom ignored those and just walked upstairs without saying another word. He plopped down onto his bed. Tessa was still downstairs under the table chewing on some pizza crusts, so he was finally alone. 

The texting continued through the whole night, and Tom had wholly lost the sense of time. He didn’t even feel tired. If it wasn’t for y/n saying that she was about to fall asleep, he wouldn’t at least. Like that, the windshield crashed, and he felt the fatigue from the hours of messaging and staring at a screen overwhelm him. He just about managed to send out goodnight before his eyelids were too heavy to open up again. 

_________________________________

The next morning you woke up feeling much better than either time the day before. Fresh and energised, with plenty of time to get ready before class started. Not that you really put much effort into how you looked for the morning lectures. It was more mental preparation. With enough time to eat breakfast, shower and brush your teeth, you felt excellent walking out the door. Dressed in a sweater that was warmer than two jackets and some loose jeans. With your bag over your shoulder. 

You always thought the walk from your dorm to the lecture halls was delightful. The path leading toward it was enveloped in a tunnel of trees, and during the end of the year, when the leaves were turning into their auburn and golden shades, it almost felt warmer than in summer. Because the harsh wind still kept up with its schedule. It blew in your face as you walked, rubbing against your cheeks. 

When you got there, the lecture hall was still relatively empty. Only a few other people had taken their seats. This was the crucial moment of choosing your seat. Against all your own instincts, you walked down to the bottom of the auditorium, into the fourth row. You had never sat that closer to professor Dowling’s podium, too scared you would be too easy to notice and called to answer a question. But something in you told you to be brave. 

Besides, you had the idea that Tom wasn’t eager to sit there either.

As much as those butterflies in your stomach fluttered at his mention, you didn’t want to talk to him now, not during class. You needed to pass this class badly and to do that, you needed to focus. Something you could not do with him sitting next to you. 

That’s what you told yourself. It was, of course, true, but the bigger problem was that you were scared. Tom sounded like a nice guy, a very good looking nice guy, but Marie’s words played in your head. He was from a completely different world. And it was a scary one. Why not keep a bit of a safe distance at first?

So, you kept your head buried in your notebook as people started to stream into the room. One by one, the seats around you were getting occupied—none of them by Tom, for better or for worse. 

_________________________________

It had taken Tom a while to find y/n. He walked into the room, thinking he had come in with plenty of time to spare, but as he was making his way down the steps, the professor was already making his way to the podium. Tom tried to look around the room as quickly as he could, but he could not see her. Where was she? 

Professor Dowling coughed loudly, indicating for everyone to shut up and sit down, so he could start the lecture. Tom took the first empty seat he saw. An aisle seat somewhere around the 8th row. The course started, but Tom’s eyes stayed on the seats, looking for that braid. 

It wasn’t a brilliant plan, because he had no idea if she had actually kept that braid in for another day. And she had not, in fact. He noticed her, sitting somewhere at the bottom of the class, as she grabbed her hair and was pulling it up into a bun. She did it so quickly, so smoothly, without ever letting her attention get away from her. Focused on the class. He could really learn something from her. 

And he tried to take a page from her book as he finally looked ahead of him to see Dowling write an entire essay on the blackboard. He cursed himself and quickly started to type everything over. His fingers went in fully automatic mode, and he had no more idea what the words he was typing actually meant. 

His mind had wandered off once again. He couldn’t stop feeling that disappointing pull at his heartstrings. He had hoped they could have had a repeat of yesterday. She apparently thought differently. Or maybe she had hoped he would sit next to her, but he was just too slow? 

The lecture went on forever, felt like. Tom’s fingers were cramping up from typing so much, and he could feel his back beginning to hurt in the uncomfortable chair. He kept stealing quick glances at y/n, hoping to catch her in doing the same, but she had not moved once. 

He had to get a grip. They had known each other for one day, spoken maybe ten sentences to each other in person. The rest was all through text. And nothing was the same via messages. Maybe all his feelings were coming from the entirely wrong place? Perhaps she was just polite, and he had misinterpreted it for casual flirting? Besides, there was that sweater of hers yesterday- what if she had a boyfriend? 

But a part of him still wanted to ignore all those signs and go for it. So, when the bell rang, and professor Dowling finally dismissed the class, Tom made sure he was one of the first ones outside. The large hall had two exits, so he stood against a wall, somewhere in the middle between both doors, hoping to catch y/n as she was walking out. 

The loud rumbling of thunder caught his attention momentarily. 

It was just a second, he swore to himself. But the second was enough to miss her. Somehow she had escaped him, nowhere to be found.

_________________________________

You had seen Tom waiting out in front of the room, and you felt horrible for walking the exact opposite direction. For the sake of your own feelings, you didn’t look back at any point on your way to your second lecture. 

As Professor Phillips spoke, you felt your phone vibrate. 

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: where are you? :) 

The little smiley made heat up in the cheeks, but you tried to ignore that as you typed out a response. You didn’t even click the notification to go to the app, just responded through the shortcut. 

(y/n): had another class

Another notification popped up not long after. 

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: wanna meet up later? 

(y/n): ngl I don’t feel well, will probably head back home right after

(y/n): but i’d love to chat

You shut off your phone, too scared to see the reply. Maybe it wasn’t the best move since you could not think about anything else for the remainder of the class. When you checked your phone again on your way back to the dorms your heart was lifted. 

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: of course. hope you feel better <3

_________________________________

Tom tried to think that she wasn’t avoiding him. After all, they texted almost every possible second that they had the time for the past week

They had talked about pretty much anything and everything. And it felt great. The way they spoke to each other, or at least Tom to her, was as if they had known each other for ages. 

Tom only wished he could do that with her from across a table, or a on a bench. Where ever, he didn’t care. He wanted to be able to look into her eyes as they talked and see her smile. Hear that lol and not just imagine it. 

Unfortunately, y/n was kind of giving him the cold shoulder in the real life. She ignored him during classes, and was gone before he could get the chance to talk to her. Whenever he asked if they could meet, she’d give him some reason she couldn’t. If it wasn’t for the fact that they had actually already met in real life, he had vary valid reasons to think he was being catfished. 

Another reason could have been that she sounded too perfect.

It was the next Tuesday already, and Tom was waiting eagerly for the lecture to end. It had been a full week and he had decided, while copying some of Dowling’s notes, that he would talk to y/n today. After class. 

Tomorrow would be the opening of the Sterling and he wanted to ask her if she wanted to come.Or at least to know if she wanted to hang out ever. If the truth came to be no, he would be fine with that. He respected that. He just needed to know. It wouldn’t take away from the fact how great it was to have someone to talk to, even if it was only through text bubbles.

The bell rang and Tom sprinted out. He kept his eyes on both doors as best as possible and finally saw her. 

_________________________________

“Hey, y/n!” you heard your name being called from behind you. It was from Tom. He waved to you so would come over. Taking a deep breath, you decided to wave back, but your legs were frozen in place.

You felt absolutely terrible for ignoring him and denying his various invitations to hang out or to go anywhere, but it was just too terrifying. You were scared of fucking it up. Of it to turn out to be one big joke. You had heard of frat guys using dates and hookups as dares and shit. You didn’t want that. You couldn’t let that happen.

But when you saw Tom smile at you, those worries suddenly disappeared and your legs moved without connecting to your brain. Suddenly, you found your spot next to him.

He had been leaning against the wall with one foot, his arms crossed. You decided to lean against it with your shoulder. Even though you had your sweater, you could feel the grizzly texture of the bare red brick. He smiled and mirrored your movement, so you were only a few inches apart. ,

“Hey,” he said, still with the smile on his face. 

“Hey,” you replied. 

Tom uncrossed his arms to brush his fingers through his hair. As you watched him do so, you couldn’t help imagine how it would feel to play with his hair. It looked so soft. 

“I just wanted to say,” he licked his lips. You were so close to each other that you could see how pink and chapped they were. Focus. “How much fun I had the past week. It’s bee really great talking to you.” 

“I had fun too,” you said. It really was nice talking to Tom. Especially now, standing so close to him, you could smell the coffee he had consumed that morning. Was it pumpkin spice? You felt stupid for not letting it happen sooner.

“Great, that’s- that’s really great to hear. I said great already, didn’t I?” He laughed, shaking his head, “Anyway, I was thinking: a couple of friends of mine are going to the opening of this new bar, the Sterling, it’s probably going to be a bit boring, but I thought, maybe you’d like to come? With me?” He looked at you with those big brown eyes. Your mind started racing a million miles an hour at his words. The fuzzy warm feeling that you got from looking at his smile was dispersing and setting in for anxiety.

He wanted you to go to a bar with him and his friends? Would that be considered a date? For the sake of your dignity, you decided against asking for clarification. It didn’t matter. You couldn’t go to some dingy bar with strangers, even if one of them was Tom. You could already feel your body heating up in anxiety as all the horrible scenarios played out in your head. 

You realised you had been quiet for a while and Tom was still looking at you hopefully. 

“No,” you blurted out. “I mean, I can’t. Sorry.” 

“Oh, that’s fine. Totally. Maybe another time? Or if you don’t wanna go there, we could go somewhere else?” 

“Uhh,” you couldn’t breath. All his suggestions were so sweet, but it felt too overwhelming to answer. Thankfully, the clock tower at the other end of campus rang and indicated the quarter of an hour. Your next class would soon start, and it was about a five-minute walk to get to. 

“I have to go.” you pointed back and started walking, but Tom grabbed your hand gently, just enough by your fingertips. 

“Sorry, I just- if you don’t want to hang out with me, that’s totally fine. You don’t have to pretend to like me, no hurt feelings. I don’t want you to-” 

“I do, Tom,” you told him with a compassionate smile. Then you looked back at the clock. “But I really got to go.” 

“Right, sorry.” he let go of your hand, and you ran off to your next course. 

 _________________________________

“Who was that?” 

As soon as y/n ran off, Tom heard the voice coming from next to him. Zendaya popped up out of nowhere, an unlit cigarette hanging between her lips as she leaned in the same spot y/n had. 

“Just a friend,” Tom shrugged. That’s what they were, after all. If even. He hoped he could describe someone he had mainly only spoken through texts with as a friend. 

“You sure about that?” Zendaya smirked. “Cause by the looks of it, she’s got you pretty hooked. You were basically begging her to go out with you, bro.” 

“Yeah, well, forcefulness isn’t exactly an aphrodisiac, is it?” he sighed then almost turned pale at the words he had said. Zendaya didn’t say anything, just nodded and took out her glittery lighter. 

“Could you not?” Tom pulled the cigarette out of her mouth before she could light it and put it in his pocket. “We’re inside, for fucks sake.” 

“Fine, but tell me who this friend of yours is.” She nodded her head back into the direction that y/n ran in. 

“I don’t really know. I mean I do, but- Basically we met last week before class. Then I found her on Instagram and DM’d her-” 

“You slid into her DMs? Bro,” she laughed. 

“Call it what you want, it was the only way of reaching her I had.” 

“Fine, so you like her, yeah?” 

“I guess.” Tom didn’t like sharing his feelings. It put him in this vulnerable position that he was not used to. Zendaya knew that, yet still she pushed him to do it almost every time they talked. 

“For what it’s worth, I think she likes you too,” she said. 

“How so?” he questioned hesitantly. It wouldn’t have been the first time that Zendaya had pulled that trick on him to date someone. And it had not ended well. 

“Well, body language for one, she felt comfortable enough around you to stand close to you, facing you; she smiled at your rants which, props to her, is hard to do.” 

“How long had you been watching us, exactly?” Tom asked a bit freaked out. Zendaya ignored the question.

“Believe me, she likes you. She’s just scared.” she pulled out another cigarette from her pocket, “also, taking a girl to a shithole like the Sterling for your first date? I’m glad she said no. Set some standards, man.” And with that lovely comment, she walked away. She didn’t have to see Tom flipping her off, she knew he would do it, and she replied lovingly in the same way. 

That’s what you got for being friends with psychology majors. 

 _________________________________

The first thing you did after walking out of your second class was to check your phone if you had received any messages from Tom. There was nothing. So you decided to message him yourself. 

(your account) 

Hey  Sorry I ran away like that  And basically anytime after class and making those dumb excuses not to meet up Just so you know I do really wanna hang out with you I’m just not really great with crowds or with places like bars and stuff And ive also never really been asked to go anywhere with anyone, like personally  Idk why im telling you this. I’m definitely rambling Texting is definitely easier than talking huh Sorry for all this 

It took Tom two minutes to see your messages and to respond.

(tomholland2013)

It’s totally okay. I get it And sorry if i made you uncomfortable with all that.  Can i come to your place tonight? Or how about we go to Le Moulin?

Le Moulin. You had been there before. You could do that. With trembling fingers of excitement, you replied

(your account) 

Deal. Around 7?

(tomholland2013)

Sounds perfect. See u then 

 _________________________________

Tommo: Hey guys, sorry but im gonna have to skip on tonight 

This short message was seen and very much not appreciated by his friends. None of the replies could be seen as appropriate for day-time television. Except for the one Zendaya had sent him through their personal chat. It was simple, 

Z: 👍

With the entire afternoon off, Tom made sure he looked somewhat decent for the night. He took a shower. Washed his hair and made sure it was extra soft. He wasn’t sure what y/n thought of it, but from past experiences, he knew that usually, girls loved his hair. Thinking about other girls was probably not the best mindset, though. Still, his hair did look really good. He brushed his fingers through it. 

It had not yet stopped raining, which was a bit of a problem, but he hoped she wouldn’t mind getting a bit wet. For the sake of it, he took an umbrella with him. Luckily it wasn’t very windy, so it actually came to good use. The walk from the frat house to the dorm that y/n said she lived in wasn’t too far away, and fortunately on the way to the place he had in mind to take her to. 

On his way over, he thought about what Zendaya had told him. 

Was y/n scared? Of what? 

They had talked about that kind of stuff briefly, during the weekend, and she and said that she suffered from anxiety. Tom just thought it was stuff like giving a presentation in class. He hadn’t even thought about the more social aspect of it. And here he was pushing all those things at her like going to some bar with strangers. Jesus, why did he have to be such a dumbass? 

The dorm complex had a buzzer system like a regular apartment complex, so he searched for her name on the long list, and pressed the button next to it. 

“Hello?” It was her roommate, Marie, that answered. 

“Hey, it’s Tom. I’m here to pick up y/n.” He could hear some indistinct giggling coming from the other side of the line. 

“Of course, c’mon up. But I’m afraid you’ll have to wait a bit.” Next followed the buzzer, and the doors opened for him. The number on the button said 54, so he assumed it had to be on the fifth floor. When he walked up to the door with that number, he was greeted with a colourful collage of rock bands whose hair was probably more impressive than their vocal range, which said a lot considering Queen was on it. 

He knocked and waited for someone to open. y/n was the one to do it. She stood frozen in the door, only a towel wrapped around her body. 

“I thought we said seven?” she said, her voice a bit higher than usual.

“It’s quarter past seven!” Marie shouted out from inside the dorm. y/n cursed. 

“Shit, sorry, I lost complete track of time. Give me ten minutes, okay?” she held up a finger so he would wait here. Tom nodded and let her close the door again. He could still hear her yell at Marie as to why she had not told her she was running late, to which Marie only responded with hysterical laughter. 

“Holland?” someone in the hallway asked a few minutes later. Tom turned in the direction to see a guy with a head full of bed hair poke out of his doorway (which was covered in pictures of death metal posters and my little ponies). He stepped out in the hallway to reveal he was wearing nothing but a pair of tiny and tight briefs, leaving little to the imagination. 

“Oh hey… Crocker,” he called the guy by his preferred nickname. 

“Hey man, what are you doing here?” Crocker asked. The way his eyes were almost ruby red and the stench coming from his room, Tom presumed that the guy was higher than a kite. 

“Oh you know, waiting for a date, heh.” He said a bit awkwardly, pointing back to door 54. 

“Ah, getting some of that French jay nehsuh gwaa.” 

Tom looked confused. He wasn’t sure he had ever heard someone butcher a language that badly. Well, probably, but he didn’t remember it. He kind of understood what Crocker meant, though.

“No, I’m here for y/n. Not Marie.”

“Damn? Really.” Crocker started to giggle, which might as well just have been a side effect from whatever he had smoked up in his room. 

“Yeah?” He wasn’t sure how else to react. Crocker just shrugged and walked back into his room, smashing the door closed. Tom turned slowly, not sure what exactly had happened just then. And he turned right on time too, because the door of dorm 54 opened and y/n walked out. Wearing a raincoat over a sweater and jeans. She also had a pair of black ankle boots on. Tom could not help but smile at the sight of her. 

“Sorry about that,” she said, the nervousness in her voice was unmistakable. 

“First,” Tom spoke, remembering one of his earlier worries from days ago, “you don’t have a boyfriend, do you?” The question made her laugh.

“I very much do not. Why did you think that?” 

“The sweater you wore when we met. It had that whole stole-it-from-my-boyfriend vibe.” 

“No, I haven’t had anyone to steal clothes from in a long time.” she shook her head. Tom extended his hand for her to take, which she gladly did. It felt amazing.

“So what will you be ordering?” 

“Ice cream,” Tom answered, almost matter-of-factly. 

 _________________________________

“Ice cream?” you asked to make sure you had heard him correctly. He nodded in agreement. “Don’t you think it’s a bit cold for that?” 

“No.” He said bluntly, which really sold the case for you. You were on your way again.

You could hear the rain pound against the main door before you even reached the ground floor, and it only got harder and louder the nearer you got. Tom, being a true gentleman, opened the door for you, but you were a bit hesitant to walk outside. 

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” he let you hold the door so he could step through the threshold and push open the umbrella. You noticed it was a Delta Kappa umbrella. They really made merch of everything. As he put the umbrella up, he extended his arm for you to intertwine yours through. Then, you walked. 

Though it was relatively early, the sky was pitch black because of how early the sun set those days and the dark clouds that had been pestering the sky that entire day. Not a star was to be seen. The rain tapped heavily against the umbrella, and you tried to stay as close to Tom as possible. The excuse, of course, was to not get wet but really you wanted to enjoy the warmth that he was giving off. At one point you had changed position from just having your arm over his, to him wrapping his arm over your shoulder. 

You walked down a brightly lit path, so you could see everything around you. The trees, the cars passing by, the building. So, when you saw the little café at the end of the street, you squealed. 

While there were plenty of bars, pubs and clubs to go to around town, so there were restaurants and cafés. And while restaurants really weren’t your thing, you loved to sit in one of the cosy coffee shops with a cup of tea or coffee and read a good book. Another fun thing about all those places was that they were very internationally orientated, speaking to the wide variety of students that the university had. Le Moulin was of course based on a Parisian café. You had actually found it together with Marie, in hopes she could have something that felt a bit closer to home. Though it didn’t come close to the real magic of the French capital, it still had plenty of its charm in it. Not to mention, the pain du chocolats were to die for! 

Yet, you had never actually had ice cream from their menu. 

You still weren’t sure if today would be the day for it. By the time you wear under the little entrance roof, you were freezing, and so was Tom, visibly. 

“Are you still sure about the ice cream?” you asked him as he closed the umbrella.

“Hot chocolate?” he suggested, suddenly fluent in your love language: chocolate and hot drinks (it was a very simplified version of said love language). 

This time Tom got to be the real gentleman as he let you walk inside first. He dropped the umbrella in the stand, together with a few others. When you looked around the café, you saw that a few more couples were enjoying the cosiness. A sweet melody was playing from the speakers. The rain had also softened outside, and together with the vintage sounds of guitar and vocals, it gave the perfect atmosphere for the night.

You had barely stepped inside when one of the waiters walked up. He smiled and said: “Your table is ready,” which surprised you, but Tom took you by the hand, and you both followed the waiter to one of the tables next to the wall, where one side had a couch instead of the usual chairs. You sat down first, taking off your jacket. Tom was going to sit opposite you, but now it was your turn to grab his hand. 

“Slide in.”

He smiled and sat down. He probably didn’t need any convincing and just wanted to hear you say that you wanted him to sit next to you. You didn’t mind that. 

“Should I prepare the order?” the waiter asked as you made yourself comfortable, again confusing the hell out of you. 

“Actually, scrap that. We’ll have two large hot chocolates.” Tom said. 

“With cinnamon!” you added. 

“One with cinnamon.” Tom corrected. The waiter nodded and walked off. 

“Don’t like cinnamon?” you quizzed, to which Tom shrugged. 

“It’s alright, just not a big fan.” Both of you looked around the room. You had never been in the café at night, so you hadn’t even realised that the walls were covered in soft gold lights, giving it all that much more the feeling as if you had stepped into a fairytale. 

“I didn’t know this place took reservations.” 

“I’m not sure either,” Tom replied, you noticed he had his arm draped around you again, “I just called to be sure.”  

“Really?” That split you up into two. Your heart skipped a beat at the thought that he had made a special call to the café to get, probably, the best seat in the house. On the other side, you were freaking out for a few reasons. He had put in quite the effort in an almost last minute notice of plans, while you were fifteen minutes late. That was embarrassing enough. And this reservation basically put you in a spotlight for the entire business, which was really not ideal. You didn’t want to be noticed. 

“Hey,” he whispered and squeezed his grip around you lightly, “everything okay?” 

“Huh? Mhm,” you nodded your head and smiled, trying not to think about how the waiters might be judging you. 

“I saw you had posted a picture from this place on your Instagram, and I used to come here a while back, so I thought it would be cool, but if you don’t like it-” 

“It’s perfect,” you made up your mind. In the end, it didn’t matter what anyone else thought. You felt safe, sitting on the little couch, next to Tom. 

Soon after, the waiter came back with two mugs of hot chocolate. When Tom ordered large ones, they delivered. The mugs might as well have been cereal bowls, topped with a peak of whipped cream and cocoa powder, and a cinnamon stick in your cup to distinguish the two drinks. 

“Et voila!” the waiter put the cups down. You thanked him, and he was gone again.

There were spoons, but you decided to stir your chocolate with the cinnamon stick. 

Still with his arm around you, Tom took his mug up to his lips. With the feeling of having him so close to you, you wondered what this really was. What if he just wanted to be friends and spend some time with you? Had he noticed how sad and lonely you were, and did he want to take his pity out on you? Were you a charity act for him? God, you hoped not. You really really hoped not.

“Tom?” You looked at him, to see his eyes dart in your direction. His top lip was covered in whipped cream. You gestured it to him, slightly giggling, and he wiped it off with the back of his hand. How was someone that hot, so adorable? 

“You were saying?” he said, putting the mug down on the table in front of you.

“I was just wondering,” Be quick, get it over with, you’ll feel better when you say it. “is this a date?” 

“Do you want it to be? It doesn’t have to.” He added the second part quickly after.

“I- I think I do,” I smiled. Though he had just put his mug down, he picked it right back up, you did the same.

“Then a date it is.” You clinked cups. Still, something felt off. You were holding the cup up to your lips, but just far enough not to be able to drink from it. Your eyes glazed over as you focused them on the mural in front of you. It was of the Paris skyline. With the Eiffel tower in the middle, the Arc de Triomphe a bit to the left, on the other side stood the two symmetrical towers of the Notre Dame cathedral. It was probably geographically inaccurate, just good enough to keep everyone who had never been to the City of Love satisfied. 

“Okay, something’s up.” Tom brought you back to the date. “What’s wrong? And, please, be honest.” 

“I don’t know,” you huffed out a laugh. “But before you start to freak out, it’s nothing to do with you, I swear.”

“So, you kind of know what it is about.” he raised an eyebrow. He had a point. If you knew what it was not, it meant you knew what it was, indeed. 

“I, uhm,” suddenly you felt very much aware of everything and everyone around you. Were they listening? “Well, I really want to apologise for being so distant outside of Instagram.” 

“There’s really no need for that, darling,” he said. “I understand it, and should have been a bit more considerate. I should have realised sooner that bars and shit aren’t your cup of tea.. or hot chocolate.” 

You both laughed. 

“Yeah,” you were smiling, but the word came out a bit as a sigh, conveying your all the troubling thoughts that were going on in your brain.

“There’s more, isn’t there?” Tom saw through it. You bit your lip, not sure how to say it. You didn’t want to say it. He would probably think you were a joke. Besides, all those people around. Some of them from your school. They could probably hear every word you were saying.

“Do you maybe want to text it to me?” he suggested with a kind smile. You hadn’t realised when he had moved, but he had let go of your shoulders, and his hand was now on top of yours. His thumb moved slowly over your skin, reassuring you that, whatever it was, it was okay. 

How you hoped it was. 

You grabbed your phone and started to type out your message, taking a deep breath before sending it to him. You heard the vibration in his pocket, and with it, your heart skipped with anxiety. Tom kept holding on to your hand as he took out his phone and read the text. His eyes shot wide open. 

“Wait, really?” 

 _________________________________

“Never?” he asked, to which she bit her lip and shook her head. 

No, it wasn’t possible. 

“How has no one- nooo,” 

“It just… never got far enough- No, I mean, ugh,” she finally took a sip of her hot chocolate. Tom had to admit that it was cute how that was her go-to frustration action. She wiped off the whipped cream from her lip. Tom couldn’t stop looking at them, they were just so perfect. He wanted to feel her, to taste her. He wouldn’t even mind the taste of cinnamon that would have remained on them. 

“There was just never a guy that made me think, oh yeah, I want to kiss him,” she said after another sip of the hot chocolate. 

“So, you’d want to kiss me?” 

“Shut up,” she said glaring, but just to hide the big smile on her face. 

“Sorry, I just can’t believe you’ve never been kissed.” She flinched a bit at his words. “I don’t mean it in that way. You shouldn’t be ashamed of never being kissed. Sometimes it happens early on, sometimes it doesn’t. If it wasn’t for my pledge, I don’t think I would have had my first kiss till last year.” He confessed. y/n looked at him with eyebrows that had a twist of disbelief in them. 

“Yeah, right.”

“I swear,” Tom laughed, putting his hands up. “So really, no judgement here.” Then he leaned in to whisper into her ear, “and I definitely won’t mind breaking you in,” He couldn’t keep a straight face saying it, and neither could she. He had thought it would make her nervous or flushed, but she just slapped him on his arms teasingly. 

“In your dreams, Holland.” 

“Fuck, I hope so.” That made her freeze, just for a second though. “Shit, too much?” He asked, afraid he had finally taken it too far with his inappropriate humour. 

“No, you’re good.” She took another sip of her hot chocolate, allowing Tom to do so as well. 

“See, just because I’ve never been kissed, it immediately puts me under this label of being a prude or something, but I’m really not. I’ve just- had a really shitty love life.” Or just a complete lack of it.

“Well, I hope to change that.” He leaned in again and pecked her cheek. That finally got him the flushed reaction he had hoped for. 

“You already did.” 

 _________________________________

Your hand moved up to your cheek, hovering above the area that he had kissed. You felt like an idiot, but with Tom, it didn’t even feel like a bad thing. 

“We’ve known each other for less than two days, and I can already tell you, you’re way up there in the list of good dates.” 

“Way up there? Give me stats.” He nudged on. You thought for a second. 

“At least… top ten.” 

“Top five? Oh C’mon, babe, I think I’m a bit better than that. Not to toot my own horn, of course.” 

“Top five.” You said, ignoring the butterflies that had escaped in your stomach. He glared at you. You glared back, keeping your eyes on each other for another moment until he had dipped his finger in his hot chocolate and pressed it against your nose. You blinked in confusion. 

“That just moved you down to number six.” 

“Well, shit.” Tom leaned in and licked the whipped cream off your nose. As disgusting as it should have been, you burst into a fit of giggles, hiding your face in his chest to not disturb the rest of the restaurant. While you were trying to calm down, you felt Tom kiss the top of your head a few times. 

Finally, you sat up again. 

“Top three,” you stated. It was good enough for Tom. For now. 

You drank the rest of your drinks in the best silence possible that could be kept as both of you kept laughing at each other. Finally, the mugs were empty. Tom paid for everything and let you take the lead to walk outside with the umbrella. When you opened the door, however, you saw that the storm had now passed over into a light drizzle. You kept the umbrella closed. 

You were already letting yourself get taken up by the rain when Tom was outside. You thought he would come to join you, but he stayed under the little roof, watching you with a big smile. 

“Not afraid of the rain, are you?” you asked. “Or are you made of sugar?” 

“All I can say is, come and find out for yourself.” You were already a few steps away, so you hopped over to him, took his hand and took the final step, so you were touching chest to chest. His other hand found its way on your hip. You saw his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips. You smiled and pulled him in closer, making you take a step back and exposing him to the weather. 

“Mutherfucker!” He gasped, not having expected that. “Ohh, you’re good.” 

Before you knew what was happening, he had picked you up by the waist and spun you around. You squealed from surprise before the both of you started laughing again. Eventually, he had to put you back down again, and your eyes widened in horror when you saw him walk to a large puddle. 

“No, Tom! No, no, no.!” He put you down right next to it. Probably an inch from the water edge. 

“C’mon, I’m not that mean.” he pouted. 

“Nah, you’re a softy,” you poked his cheek. He grabbed your hand. 

“Oi, I wouldn’t go that far.” then kissed the tip of your index finger, which you had poked him with a second before.

“Too late, I guess.” 

“You sure about that? You’re still really close to that puddle babe. We wouldn’t want any… accidents!” He gripped you by the waist again, and the sudden movement made you feel like he was gonna throw you down into the puddle. You shrieked but soon felt his arms still around you and no parts of your body were soaked (only moderately wet from the light rain) or on the ground. He was still holding you. 

“You never answered me,” he said, his sweet laughter was gone, and his eyes were on your lips again. 

“Answer what?” you kept looking at his face as a whole, taking in every detail. The way his nose scrunched when droplets of rain well on it. How one of his eyebrows was more bushy and irregular than the other. The dimple in his chin, his freckles- everything. 

“If you wanted to kiss me.” 

His golden-brown eyes were so warm, even in the dim street lights at night. His wet hair was sticking to his face, but framing it so nicely. His jaw was sharp, it didn’t seem like it should be real. 

“I do.”

His lips. Though thin and a bit chapped, they still felt so soft. The sweet taste of chocolate, mixed in with the rain that had fallen in the few moments that you stood outside. His hands cupped your cheeks, pulling you in closer to him. It felt so good. So right. 

You pulled away but with no idea how much time had gone by. His stands stayed in their position, his eyes searched yours for a reaction. Nothing came from it since you were still in an emotional daze. 

Tom chuckled. 

“Fuck, I should have slid into your DMs sooner.” 

“Way to ruin the mood, Holland.”

“Oh, you love it.” He said before pulling you into another kiss. 

The END

> song played in Le Moulin: Rendez-vous sous la pluie (Jean Sablon)

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed

> please leave a comment or ask with your thoughts. i love reading them and let me know if you want to see more of this au cause i really enjoyed writing it :)

> if anyone has a comment about how it had only been a day since they met etc. i wrote this 15k story in the span of 24 hours. i wish i could have added more to it but at this point, i am physically and emotionally exhausted and do not want to make it even longer. 

>masterlist and link to taglist in bio

tagging:

@definitely-not-black-cat @artemisiaarm @nerdyhockeygirl @miraclesoflove @justasmisunderstoodasloki @thefridgeismybestie @m19friend @creative-happenings @parker-holland-osterfield @fanficparker @fanficscuziranout @peterparkoure @xxtomxo @happywolves81 @captainbuckyy @tra-gicx @qxeen-of-hearts @varshavisuu @kangaroobunny @petersunderoos96  @the-lost-fairy-tale @nerd-domland @sleepybesson @rissa067 @the-queen-procrastinator @scarletteclipze @screeching-student-unknown  @spiderrrling​ @captainpeggy40 @tomhollanders2013 @miraclesoflove @playinonaloop @queenoflostspirits @roses-hxlland @hereiamhereigo @sunnydays0803 @averyfosterthoughts @moorehollandplz @beiroviski @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @peterparkerbabyyy @multifandomlover21 @lmaotshollandd @badbitchydecisions @tikapollak @awesomehritz​ @madzleigh01​ @oh-what a beautiful-parker @taciturnspidey​ @quaksonhehe​ @mountainsforwords​ @harryfobter @peepeeparkerr @viagracex​ @ethereal-beauty-p​ @slytherin-chaser​ @worldoftom​ @moonysoftt​ @peeterparkr​ @wazzupmrstark​ @saintlavrents​ @peachybloomss​ @blissfulparker​ @chloecreatesfictions-archive​  @fallinfortom​ @bitchydecisions​ @okokimfreakingoutahh @cicicantblog​ @musicalkeys​ @joyleenl​ @multifandomdoodles121 @awkwardfangirl2014​ @marvelouspeterparker​

[my-spiritualweapon-is-a-lollipop]

Family Portraits

For @fjoresterweek Day 3: Family

Read it on ao3

The walls of the Lavorre Estate are full of art of many varieties. It is a veritable explosion of colour and decor on nearly every wall. One wall however, is the favoured place of both of the owners, as it is the wall where family portraits are hung. Above a comfortable, plush couch with cushions worn in from many nights of use, this particular series of works hangs. They are all clearly done by the same artist, though the expertise improves through the newer pieces. It is a veritable art gallery display, a life's work of the history of their family.  

The first such portrait is small, set in a wooden frame, with a scratch or dent here or there. It seems as if it would be just about the right size to fit into a pocket of a well known, pink haversack. This piece features Marion Lavorre in a simple and beautiful purple gown. Her hair is down, as it often was when she was taking the evening off to spend time with her daughter and she is smiling brightly whilst leaning over the shoulder of a young Jester Lavorre. Jester smiles proudly alongside her mama. You would place the blue tiefling at about age 16, though the anatomy is not quite right in a few places and, if you look closely, you might get the sense that the artist may have faced the challenge of having to paint herself, which meant her model was ever moving. The pigments are slightly faded from time and wear, as it seems likely that this portrait was taken as a momento through a long journey, but the love in the portrait remains eternal nevertheless.

The next piece is a series of sketches that have been set together in one glass frame. The bold charcoal and ink lines on the pale parchment offer a stark contrast to the muted and worn colours of the previous portrait. There is a variety of sketches and styles that were chosen to be featured, some more formal and others more like doodles. You see Mollymauk Tealeaf in a detailed side profile, looking up to the sky. Caleb Widogast with Frumpkin wrapped around his neck, a serious expression colouring his features - likely drawn while he was identifying some item or another. A sketch of Nott and a sketch of Veth wearing similar expressions, artfully placed side by side creating a mirror effect. Next is Fjord, wearing an utterly ridiculous captain's hat with an earnest and serious expression that emphasizes the comedic effect; this one featuring a small sketched heart in the corner. There is a detailed drawing  of Yasha wreathed in beautiful flowers, it has the slightest wrinkle and smudge where a grateful tear had been shed over it. Next Caduceus, drawn with a soft smile and little doodles of mushrooms and tea bags surrounding him cheerfully. Several versions of Beau drawn with action lines and body shapes sketched through, showing the artistry of her motion as Jester had tried to capture one of her favourite martial arts sequences. Then there's Jester’s first draft design for her high priestess gown at Traveller con. Finally, Essek smiling shyly over a bowl full of soup. The pages overlap in places but if you looked close enough, one might just be able to see the inky scrawl through the page above that reads “Hot Boi likes hot soup!”. These pieces had been lovingly chosen from Jester’s sketchbook at the time, and though the works were made using simple materials, they weave together and flow to form a larger picture of the quiet acts of kindness and attention that had forged these travelling companions into a family.

Next is a large canvas that is bursting with bright colours. The Mighty Nein are wearing their highest quality clothes, once purchased for an upscale party, and posed amongst the blooming grove. The landscape itself is a masterpiece in it’s own right, but Jester has taken great care and attention to paint each of the member of their little family in all of their colourful glory to match. Every detail of the painting has been meticulously filled in with the kind of care and attention that came from at last having leisure time and wanting to commemorate a great victory.

Essek floats under the shade of a tree with a parasol still artfully posed as much for fashion as for function. He is subtly holding the hand of Caleb who appears next to him in a stark contrast to the grubby and bearded man with a thousand burdens depicted in the first sketch. This Caleb wears a beautiful set of robes, his chest is raised in pride as he poses amongst his family, and his clean shaven appearance compounded with the removal of some of his looming worries, makes it appear almost as if he had aged in reverse. Caleb has a hand placed on Veth’s shoulder who poses with her crossbow out, a hand on her hip, and a gleaming smile that displays all of her “normal amount of teeth”. Yeza is standing beside her with a shy smile, Luc raised on his shoulders with a gleaming grin that matches his mother’s. He is showing off his own crossbow as well. Next to the Brenatto family is Beau who has a snarky grin, and is holding her tie, clearly still loving her formal suit. Yasha has an arm around her and is looking down at Beau with eyes that convey just how much she cherishes the opportunity to hold her at all. Her long hair has been lovingly woven with flowers from the garden and they stand out in a bright contrast to her otherwise monochrome appearance. Jester appears gleefully next to her, surrounded by her large family and utterly glowing with joy. Fjord has an arm around her waist and appears to be posed rather comically like most captains one might see on the cover of a romance novel. It is easy to believe the artist may have taken some creative license in how he was portrayed. Filling out the entire rest of the canvas is the Clay family. Caduceus stands in the centre, looking perfectly at home with the large family around him. As they Clays didn’t own much in the way of formal clothes, Caduceus is starkly contrasted by their somewhat humble appearances but there is no denying the beautiful familial connection amongst them is more beautiful to see than any formal attire. Then at last, down in the front, lying languidly across the grass in a rather suggestive pose, is Kingsley. It seems that he was not one to miss an opportunity to be portrayed beautifully and he is posing rather dramatically with a flower between his teeth. All told this portrait is clearly the centrepiece of the space with it’s boisterous colours and even more boisterous personalities.

Next on the wall, there is a small piece of Fjord and Jester in a suit and wedding gown. It is surprisingly simple. The pair are touching their foreheads together and looking utterly content. The love is the real feature of this piece and it doesn't require much else. There is however, a rumor that there is a small dick hidden in the embroidery of her wedding gown if you look close enough, but so far only Caduceus has discovered it’s location and he and Jester have been very tightlipped about it, so the hidden dick remains a mystery to most.

The portrait after this is Jester and Fjord holding two tiefling babies and one half orc toddler of varying colours and slightly different ages. The new parents are showing off their freshly adopted children with all the pride they can muster. The next section of the wall features a mix of solo paintings or drawings of the children as they have aged, interspersed with art projects that had clearly been done by the children themselves that had earned a place on the wall.

There is another group portrait of the Lavorre family that features Babadon and Marion, Fjord and Jester, and all 3 children who now appeared to be just coming into their teenage years. Though some years have passed, the pride with which Jester and Fjord display their children has not lessened.

Next there is a tall painting of a day at the beach. This painting would have taken hours of meticulous care to put together but it was clearly a masterwork. Each figure is in action, having a lovely day on the beach. It was painted to commemorate a favourite family reunion and has been captured with near perfect accuracy.

Caduceus is featured standing by the ocean’s edge with two small children climbing over him that anyone who knew Beau and Yasha would recognize as their children. He is dangling a third, that is recognizable as the youngest Brenatto, by an ankle over the water, doomed to be dunked below but laughing gleefully about it.

Fjord is nearby, playfully controlling water to splash a group of teenagers that include Luc and one of his younger sister’s Caley as well as all of Fjord and Jester’s children (Artie, Ruby and Vandran) who are laughing and raising their hands in defense. Ruby is beginning to manipulate a wave of her own, likely to return the favour. Fjord’s beard and hair are getting to be mostly grey at this point, his body taking on a little more sag than it used to, but the playful glint in his eye remains the same.

Beau and Yasha are nearby, playing a game of chicken against Kingsley and Marius (on again off again lovers) in the shallows. Beau and Kingsley are nearly nose to nose as they grit their teeth in an attempt to knock one another off.

On the sand, they had set up a large canvas tent to block the sun and in it there were various towels and chairs and snacks. A hammock is hung next to it and Caleb, long grey hair up in topknot, with his still reddish vacation beard, has fallen asleep in a patch of sunlight with a book across his chest. The many cats that he and Essek foster appear to have agreed with his idea as he has four cat’s lounging lazily on and around him, soaking up the warmth of the perfect sun patch.

Jester, much longer in the horns, and Essek, who looks much the same as he always has, are painting one another's nails in the shade and Essek is laughing while Jester appears to whisper some secret story to him.

Finally, Yeza can be seen holding Veth’s hand as she delicately dips a singular toe in the water from the relative safety of some large boulders.

It is a work of art that is destined to become a family heirloom.

Betwixt the paintings on this wall, hang other artful details. There is a cross stitch piece made by Yasha that is covered in embroidered flowers and reads “Open your heart to chaos”. There is a small, ceramic unicorn perched on it’s own tiny shelf. There is a scarf that Caleb had knit for Jester, several years prior when Essek had convinced him that knitting would be good for his anxiety, hung with care between two paintings. There is a crayon drawing of the traveller’s symbol, drawn by a child who was unwittingly inventing a whole religion on the spot. There is the green bow, once tied around the neck of a weasel who has finally been begrudgingly allowed to return to the fey wild as he is no longer needed.

Inevitably, Jester will get the itch to add another piece, and then it will be a week-long process of arranging and rearranging the wall again until it is just so. As it stands now, however, with many old friends piled onto their comfortable couch, sharing tea from a grave once more, catching up on one another’s lives, what the kids are up to, etc. this wall is indeed the perfect background for their small family reunions that are becoming more and more regular as a few of their members age.

Jester glances through their history and smiles a small smile just for herself.

“So Luc goes up to Ludines and says-”

“Jester, what are you staring at?” Yasha cuts in.

“Oh just looking at the art.”

“I still haven’t found that damned dick!” Caleb shouts standing to inspect their wedding portrait once more and the room bursts into amicable laughter and they zoom off on yet another tangent.

Yes... it is perfect.

[janewatson]

Helluva Boss Trailer Analysis!

Yes, I watch this.  Yes, I like it.  No, I won’t argue with you about it.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s just say that I was up when the trailer dropped, and was still up for a bit after.  I’ve watched it so many times now, just absorbing everything, and now it’s time to break it down.

I’ve seen a few breakdowns already, but I noticed that there were a few things people hadn’t mentioned.  So I’m tossing my hat in the ring, let’s see if we can figure out what Vivziepop has in store for us!

I’ll be breaking down by scene, as well as go over voiceovers and predictions real quick, so prepare for a read after the cut!

Ok, first, had to laugh at Millie’s Peppermint Vodka Molotov Cocktail.  Creative, but what a waste of vodka :(  The background is of a beach, but she’s not in beach clothes (let’s face it, a bikini would probably kill Moxxie)

Moxxie is shooting at something while he’s swinging from a rope in a deserted theater.  Piano on the floor, and a sun pattern on the back wall

Blitzø (thanks for the copy/paste, Google) cleaving a blonde in half with a baseball bat.  Damn, he stronk!

Diss Summar’, with the little doodles!  So cute :3

Drunk/drugged/in shock Moxxie, poor Millie, and something big bursting out from the water behind.  Tied to first scene?

Stolas’ ‘Special Access’ bit from the Sneak Peeks, talking about the Harvest Moon festival in Wrath

Moxxie and Blitzø in a green lit room, looks like a two-way mirror on the wall.  Interrogation?

Correction to ‘Diss Season’ XD  Hopefully that means we’ll get an episode before spring, but if they need more time, that’s understandable

Glammed up Stolas at some kind of burlesque, owned by Asmodeus ‘Ozzie’, Prince of Hell’s Lust circle.  Wonder why he’s there...

CHERUBS!!!  Also from the Sneak Peeks, we know that this is a commercial, and that the TV showing said commercial gets blown up a few seconds later

Angry Blitzø, probably yelling at Moxxie, being scared shitless by a hellhound behind him.  I think this is a repo/impound/chop-shop guy who took IMP’s van, as in a later scene, they’re shown in a fence with other cars, especially because Blitzø yells ‘RUN’ at the end of the scene

Loona and Blitzø filming someone’s misery (again, probably Moxxie).  They’re in western outfits, but they’re probably still in Hell

Tentacle wrapping around drugged Moxxie and taking him, too fast for Millie to react and stop it.  Again, looks like it’s tied to the first and fifth scenes

Sassy Blitzø, probably talking to the repo-hellhound or punching-bag Moxxie.  Same setting as scene 11

Blitzø running to the window of what looks like a recording studio, with ‘VM’ spray painted on the doors next to him.  He looks distraught, but it’s not clear why

Recently choked-out Moxxie recovering, while being frame by a spiny-tailed Imp wearing what I assume is a serape, since it looks like they’re on the ranch Loona and Blitzø cheered a poor soul, scene 12

DEPRESSED BIRD DADDY.  WHY ARE YOU SAD???  IS IT GONNA MAKE ME SAD??? OH NO I’M NOT READY unless its a flashback, but stilllll

Perturbed Blitzø holding his special flintlock in a western-themed room.  Looks like he has his outfit from scene 12 on, probably the same episode, but whatever happened/is going to happen, it’s not good

Dressed-up Moxxie, who probably jumped bombed a performance, is upstaged by Robo Fizz and most likely a Robo Ozzie, given the designs on its’ head(s).  He looked uneasy even before the Robos popped up, so something else was going on first.

Scaley eye blinking and getting MAD, attached to the tentacle that kidnapped Moxxie?

50% off add for Spring Break victims, complete with coffee stain, and Blitzø‘s horse doodles.  I got a mental image of Moxxie scolding Blitzø for drawing at work, so he BS’d it into an ad.

Either Blitzø is a terrible driver, or they’re trying to speed away from someone.  Repo-hound, maybe?

HUMAN!!!  Almost definitely a human pop-star singing on a Coachella-esque stage!  I tried to fill in her name, but could only get ideas of what some letters were.  Her initials are most likely VM, from the recording studio scene, but the bottoms of some letters could be an E or L, K or R, so we’re left with V~(L/E)(K/R)OSI(K/R)A MA~~.  It also looks like she’s wearing heels, so she may be the person who threw Blitzø in a later scene

Moxxie about to be trampled by what can only be a horse, given his outfit.  Loona and Blitzø are probably filming XD

Shocked Stolas, standing up at table.  Same outfit as the burlesque, but he doesn’t looked surprised enough that it’s the part where Moxxie is upstaged, more something emotionally jarring.  Blitzø kissing someone else, maybe?

Blitzø pushing Moxxie out of the way and pinning him just outside a Hell portal in an alley, most likely Earth.  Blitzø looks mad, and rightly so, as he’s looking a little beat up himself.  Connected to the interrogation scene?

Happy Blitzø turns horrified outside some elevators with Moxxie.  Judging by the water cooler in the back, I think he’s about to slam into the recording studio.  Behind him, Moxxie gives no shits

Blitzø looking miffed, maybe at something Moxxie said.  Looks like the same scene with the repo-hound, as the setting itself looks like an impound lot, with the IMP van smack-dab in the middle of it.  I love that the license plate is IMP-666 though

Unhappy Blitzø (ok, let’s be honest, when IS he happy?)

Moxxie swinging Millie around in the deserted theater, passionately frenching each other

Blitzø getting pushed down by a horned, high-heeled... someone.  Again, might be the pop star from earlier, but there’s horns...  Maybe the pop star is human-passing, and has an alternate demonic form, like the Hazbin Hotel cast?

Western-clad Blitzø pulling his flintlock on someone, most likely before scene 18.  Most definitely Hell, judging by the poster and previous scenes, but I’m digging the décor

Blitzø not getting a break at all during this trailer and being yeeted into a dumpster, which closes on him.  Gonna take a stab and say it’s outside the burlesque Stolas and Moxxie were in, from the colors and posters of Lust Ring, Personal Companion Robo-Fizz, and Angel Dust.

The next scene is of him climbing out of a dumpster to fall into another pile of trash.  He just doesn’t get a break, does he?  It doesn’t look like the dumpster outside the burlesque, but it is similar to the alley with the hell portal, where Blitzø pinned Moxxie.  Maybe not the same scene, but most likely same episode.

Editor being absolutely plastered, teasing all the fun stuff to come in 2021, since 2020 can go f*ck itself.

And that’s a really in-depth breakdown of all the scenes in the trailer!  Now, for the voiceovers.

First, Loona’s asking if anyone ‘Can feel that?’.  Interesting thing to ask, so we’ll have to wait and see what catastrophe happens

Millie gently yelling at Moxxie to ‘DON’T PANIC’

A calm voice announcing an elevator’s departure to the Lust circle of Hell, which is most likely where the burlesque and Robo scenes are.  As to who is going, it’s either Stolas or the IMP crew, or maybe both?

Horny Stolas cooing ‘Oh, Blitzy!’, followed by Loona’s ‘SHUT THE F*CK UP’ from the Loo Loo Land episode.  Finally, I have a high-res clip I can set as my ringtone!

Blitzø yelling  ‘Dammit, Moxxie, this is all your fault!’, which may or may not be true since he scapegoats Moxxie, who replies ‘How is this my fault???’

Pop star asking, ‘Y’all ready to get f*cked up and make some b*tchin’ bad choices?’.  It’s most likely her talking, since the her lips synch up with her scene, and it’s a new voice we haven’t heard before.

Moxxie’s cut off ‘M*THERF*CKER!!!’.  So happy I get to hear Invader Zim go off, poor boy needs it XD

Blitzø being Blitzø and trying to tone down a big deal, stating again that he doesn’t pry into their personal lives, even though he obvious does (see Helluva Boss Pilot for more)

Robo Fizz’s line from Loo Loo Land asking if anybody loved Blitzø.  I’m gonna be honest and say that line choked me up in Loo Loo Land, and so did Blitzø’s response, until ‘But I’m really good with guns now.  DANCE, B*TCH!’

Moxxie ending with ‘That is deeply unsettling’, again from Loo Loo Land.  Throwing shade on Helluva Boss haters, maybe? :3

All right, now, predictions!

Chaos in a theater, with focus maybe on Millie and Moxxie’s relationship, maybe an origin story?  It won’t be the only one, with the tentacle beach monster and drugged Moxxie bits, so we can expect a lot of story and character development from the two of them.

Farm episode!  Blitzø either drags them onto a farm, or there’s a client who invites them, but sh*t will happen.

Really excited to see what happens in the Lust ring, and for the return of Robo Fizz!  Baby boy only got a few minutes of screen time, but is currently my favorite character.

Repo episode of rescuing the IMP van, probably resulting in overall team building and character development.  I really want to see Loona tear a new one into that *sshole-looking hellhound, though.

Pop star episode!  Really excited to meet this new character, I wonder what her name is and how close I was XD  Either Blitzø and Moxxie break into her recording studio to meet her, or she’s a client, but we’ll see!

Trapped on Earth/Run in with Earth authorities episode?  That interrogation room didn’t exactly look Hellish, and they obvious meet some kind of resistance while on Earth that looked like it was gonna get messy...

Stolas episode!  Please please please be flashback and story, I loved Loo Loo Land but really want some more lore and development on his character and maybe relationship with Blitzø.  Bird obviously needs to work through some things, and I really want to watch him grow, ever since I saw him struggle to tell Octavia why he was cheating.  Him stuttering and ultimately being unable to find a reason why really hit home, and I’m glad it was something they included since in media, it’s always ‘Well, she’s really ugly’ or ‘I don’t love him anymore’.  He still has feelings for his wife, but wanted to f*ck Blitzø too.

Even without the trailer, we do know that we’re getting episodes focusing on CHERUB and a Harvest Moon festival, but still.  There’s so much content Vivzie and Co have been working hard to make, and I can’t wait to see what they have in store for us.  Dark comedy aside, there’s so much story they can make just around these four characters, following their growth and happenings around Hell.  It’s such a cool premise and one that hasn’t been washed and worn so many times, like cop or murder shows, and I can see this going on for quite a bit.

Well, here’s to an exciting 2021!  Thank you for all your hard work, Vivizepop, keep it up!

[partnersatfazbear]

More sketches! I actually have a lot to talk about with these lol First off, for anyone wondering about my back problems--those did finally clear up. I even fixed my sleep schedule, which only took a month. However, now my nightmares are coming back and that could mess up my sleep again... Sigh. I can’t win.

The first page is a series of completed, shaded illustrations I’m planning (based on the first 6 games and for each of the Fazbear Frights stories). I thumbnailed some ideas first. These could change, but I’m happy with most of them. I started on FNAF 1 already (see the second page where I added my current WIP of it). The only thing I love more than line art is composing a picture! I was suprised to hear that most artists (well, from what I’ve seen on YT) actually hate the line art phase. The coloring phase is actually the most boring for me. The tiny doodles are of Mike and Charlie. I really want to ship them, but I think because of my main ship I won’t. Although it would be an interesting thing to see them go through all this chick flick nonsense only to realize it never really mattered, but they could either turn out to be good friends or enemies... and I’m really intrigued by the concept. If I ever get back to my Sammy AU, maybe I’ll even have something for him to say about it =:V

The second page! I’ve gotten to a point where I can sort of draw Springtrap from memory, so that makes me happy. SMH I don’t know why he looks so annoyed in the large drawing... The other is a cute uh, is it still technically Willry at this point? Hentrap? SpringHen? lol SpringHen sounds hillarious. I may use that. Whatever, the drawing is sad, there’s no time for jokes!

The little square on page 2 are random doodles from own novel series, which at some point you’ll hear more about, but... This is the last story in the timeline, a science fiction universe where 80% of the cast are anthros. I may actually add a rabbit character now. Arzma is a bird girl, the heroine. Mark is an astronaut who has a connection to what I’m calling the furry-planet because I can’t remember the complicated names I gave everything. He’s the unofficial kid to a character from a previous drama story. He also makes a brief appearance in WispHer, my paranormal story... WHICH. (omg I’m rambling) Well, as a side story or maybe even one of the new focuses of WispHer, I’ve added my William OC. He’s the easter bunny suit you’ll see more of in upcoming pages and I’m proud of his design. I don’t know 100% what I’m doing with him yet. I’ve got like 4 pages of game ideas, but it may just end up being a super choicy VN, since I’m best at making those over any other kind of game.

For reference, my novel series spans about 12 or 13 books including spin offs, last time I checked... I really would like to get back to writing them...

As always, would love to hear any opinions / questions from you guys =:3 Feel free to send asks!

I may post some more sketches later, if I have time to doodle before my wife wakes up. lol

No sketches, but I did make some pixel art Henry and William [based on my designs]. DO NOT use these, as I may be using them for a personal project. Share, but only if you link back to this blog post:

PS

My brand new tablet has a defect pen / stylus (doesn’t hold the nibs anymore) and so I’ve ordered an expensive replacement. It should be here Monday, but expect a LOT of sketchbook drawings until I can get this situation fixed. Worried my next one will break just as easily... so I may have to find another pen altogether.

[eyebeastposts]

Fan Fiction Road: The Altar of EyeBeast

SUGGESTION PHASE CLOSED

   Driving down Fan Fiction Road in the dark of night, your car suddenly  breaks down as you pass through a thickly wooded area. Devoid of phone  service, you find yourself drawn to a strange light in the tree line.  Pushing through the bushes you find yourself standing in front of an old  church. The pictures and strange runes along the walls do not appear to  come from any known religion. Peeking up at the stained glass window,  you see a glimmer of the light that first drew you in. Steeling your  nerves, you push open the imposing set of doors and step inside.

    Your nose is assaulted with the scent of heavy incense. You find  yourself in in the center chamber where dozens of hooded figures dressed  in black robes are gathered. They don’t appear to pay much attention to  you, even as the door shuts loudly behind you. The reason becomes  evident as you look at the thing atop the grey, stone altar.

    Its shape mimics that of a singular, human eye blown up to the size of a  hot air balloon. Its grey sclera counteracts the void of black making  up its glowing pupil and iris. The eye shifts gradually, to both observe  its followers and maintain a glimmering cloud in the center. Mesmerized  by the thing’s strange aura, you take another step forward to look into  the anomaly.  

    Upon a closer look, you see dozens of images pass through the cloud.  The images depict characters from various, popular franchises going  through strange and unusual sequences. As off-putting as some of the  scenes are, you can’t help watching out of either curiosity or genuine  enjoyment. A tap on your shoulder brings you back to reality.

     Turning your head, you are met with the soft gaze of a woman with a  shaved head. The eye creature is drawn on her forehead in ink,  surrounded by the same symbols from outside. “Hello traveler,” she says  in a low voice. “I see you’ve stumbled upon our little gathering.”

     Without a word, she leads you deeper into the crowd. “We are the  followers of the All Seeing One, the deity you see before you. Their  power is immense, able to alter space, time, and various realities to  create pocket dimensions for its own amusement. From time to time, it  gives us certain request. In return for providing a list of acceptable  candidates, it demonstrates its powers to us by recreating the scene  using the choices agreed upon by its followers.”

     As soon as she stops talking the image at the altar disappears, making  the rest of the hooded figures turn towards you. “If your mind is open  and your desires forthcoming, feel free to join our group of worship  under the eye of the All Seeing One. However, if you reject our offer we  will have no choice…but to politely ask you to leave.”

     Someone in the crowd purposefully clears their throat. “After you’ve  helped yourself to the food table of course,” she adds. “Especially  Stephen’s snicker-doodles, they are just divine.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    For the past few years now, I’ve made it a tradition to have people  vote on what kind of fan fiction story I write next. Typically, I would  pick a subject (weight gain, transformations, etc.) and have people  suggest various characters and scenarios that fit the subject. While I  have enjoyed the previous sessions, I want to shake things up a bit in  terms of how things are done and what kind of stories I get to write.

  If you’ve read the above story, it sets the stage for what I want to do.  I’m going to provide five different scenarios, each of which is a  different request from the All Seeing One. For two weeks, your task will  be to suggest offerings (characters) that will fit the criteria for  each scenario. Once the suggestions are in, there will be a survey that  will determine which stories you want me to write and with which  characters. And yes, I said stories.

  My plan with this session is to suggest ideas that can be told in  relatively short stories. Using this method, I should be able to do  multiple stories going in order of popularity. I can’t promise that I’ll  do every single one, but I’ll try to do most of them. If you want to  get involved and become a member of the Church of EyeBeast, take a look  below at the guidelines and scenarios. Please read carefully.  

Guidelines:  

To suggest a character/characters, send the name of the character,  what franchise they’re from, and which scenario you want them in. You  can either use my ask box or message me directly

Regardless of method you use to suggest a character, no names will be  attached to the candidates.

You can submit as many suggestions as you wish until I close the submission phase.

You are free to suggest any characters you want, but if you want to   suggest one from something I know, you can refer to my media sheet: https://www.deviantart.com/eyebeast.....heet-819010665  

NO CHILDREN  

I will be looking just for characters, not scenarios.  

The same character can be suggested for difference scenarios as long as they fit the criteria.  

During the suggestion phase there will be no cap on how many  characters can be suggested for a scenario. However, once the polls are  made I will be narrowing down the character pools to no more than 10  entries each.  

The suggestion phase will last for two weeks, ending on JULY 15TH.  At that time, I will open up the survey for people to vote. After   another week, I will close the survey and announce the results.  

Scenarios:  

A) Couple’s Feast- We have an issue of too many leftovers from our last  meeting. The All Seeing One wishes to give them to one lucky couple. For  this one in particular, they will be looking for one male and one  female.

-General Idea: Male and female mutual weight gain.  

-Criteria: Any male and female couple.  

1. Joker (Persona 5) and one of the girls based on a poll

2. Breath of the Wild Link and Zelda  

3. Andy and Mai (KOF)

4. Hiro and 02 (Darling in the Franxxx)

5. Chris and Jill (Resident Evil)

6. Tharja and Male Robin (Fire Emblem)

7. Shuichi and Kaede (Danganronpa)

8. Mulan and Shang (Disney)

9. Vincent (Catherine) and either Catherine or Katherine based on a poll

10. Kimihito (Monster Musume) and a Monster girl based on a poll

11. Ryu and Chun-li (Street Fighter)

12. Izuku and Ochako (My Hero Academia)

13. Ed and Winry (Fullmetal Alchemist)

14. Makise Kurisu and Houoin Kyouma (Steins;Gate)

15. Male Reader and Doki Doki Literature Club Girl based on a poll

16. Male Reader and Huniepop Girl based on a poll

17. Hisao Nakai and Katawa Shoujo Girl based on a poll

18. Joey and Mai (Yu-Gi-Oh)

19. Inuyasha and Kagome (Inuyasha)

B) Princess Makeover-The All Seeing One wishes to gift someone who is of  lower class or rough around the edges a taste of the high life,  specifically what it’s like to be a princess. They will be given an  extreme makeover, giving them the curves, bountiful hair, and regality  befitting someone of royalty. Gender of tribute does not matter.  

-General Idea: Extreme hourglass expansion, hair growth, princessification, and, if applicable, gender swap.  

-Criteria: Any character that could be described as being against  traditionally girly things. Things like a tomboy, a warrior, etc.  

1. Samus (Metroid)  

2. Ryuko (Kill La Kill)  

3. Sakura (Street Fighter)

4. Chie (Persona)

5. Korra (Avatar)

6. Aladdin (Disney)

7.  Lady (Devil May Cry)

8. Tracer (Overwatch)

9. Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) poll to decide between classic and reboot

10. Kazuma (Konosuba)

11. R. Mika (Street Fighter)

12. Rotty Tops (Shantae)

13. Ganondorf (Zelda)

14. Amara (Borderlands)

15. Asuka (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

16. Shinobu Jacobs (No More Heroes)

C) Royal Reversal- The All Seeing One wishes to teach humility to the  upper class. The offering shall be given a complete reversal for their  life. Skinny to fat, clean to dirty, intelligent to idiotic, male to  female and vice versa. Obviously the offerings we are looking for must  come from royalty or are suitably upper class.  

-General Ideas: Weight gain, IQ loss, slob, and gender swap.  

-Criteria: Royalty or upper class. Things like kings, queens, princes, princesses, and the fabulously wealthy.  

1. Karin (Street Fighter)  

2. Wonder Woman (DC)  

3. Satsuki (Kill La Kill)  

4. Sonia (Danganronpa)

5.  Lucina (Fire Emblem)

6. Midna (Zelda) poll to decide which version

7. Hilde (Soulcalibur)

8. Peach (Mario)

9. Parasoul (Skullgirls)

10. Mary Saotome (Kakegurui)

11. Malty Melromarc (Rising of the Shield Hero)

12. Catarina Claes (My Next Life as a Villainess)

13. Emelia (Re:Zero)

14. Risky Boots (Shantae)

15. Starfire (Teen Titans)

16. Jasmine (Disney)

D) Pig Deity-The All Seeing One wishes for an ego boost. Provide to them  the name of a god or holy person to wallow in the mud and become the  patron saint of hogs.  

-General Ideas: Weight gain and anthro pig transformation.  

-Criteria: A holy person, either a deity or someone very religious.  

1. Palutena (Kid Icarus)  

2. Aqua (Konosuba)  

3. Crim (Interspecies Reviewers)  

4.  Tiki (Fire Emblem)

5. Panty (Panty and Stocking)

6. Rosalina (Mario)

7. Azazel (Helltaker)

8. Venus (Huniepop)

9. Sophitia (Soulcalibur)

10. Haruhi Suzumiya (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya)

11. Hestia (Is it Wrong to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?)

12. Holo (Spice and Wolf)

E) Pokemon Fusion- The All Seeing One has become aware of a world  inhabited by creatures called Pokémon. Its interest has piqued  concerning the everlasting bond made between the creatures and their  trainers. A test must be performed to see if we can further this  connection by combining the two beings.  

-General Ideas: Transformation and other effects based on the Pokémon chosen.  

-Criteria: A trainer and a Pokémon, preferably one that they have some kind of connection with.  

1. Roxie/Koffing  

2. Whitney/Miltank  

3. Bea/Hariyama

4. Flannery/Magcargo

5. Melony/Lapras

6. Sabrina/Slowbro

7. Nurse Joy/Chansey

8. Pokemon Breeder/Ditto

9. Fantina/Driftblim

10. Hilda/Scolipede

11. May/Slaking

12. Cynthia/Garchomp

13. Dawn/Spiritomb

14. Kiawe/Salazzle

15. Jessie/Arbok

16. Hex Maniac/Gourgeist

17. Officer Jenny/Arcanine

18. Lusamine/Buzzwole

19. Iris/Zekrom

[screamingatanemptyroom]

I Can’t Eat Love pt 5

Here is part 5 everyone. This one is bit longer, trying to make some story progress! A few new characters introduced!

I’ve been so excited about this one guys, I’m having a lot of fun! I even was doodling my own fan art earlier today of Lenora! Thanks everyone for the support of the series. I’m going to try to keep up the momentum for this one for now!

Part 1, Part 2 Part 3 and Part 4 linked here. 

_______________________________________

Despite my wishes, the morning of etiquette training with the Queen arrived all too quickly. I departed in a carriage just shortly after sunrise, arriving at the palace without too much delay. As I followed a footman deeper into the building I had once known so well, I felt a cold wave of a memory swell over me. 

_______________________________________

“Just lift your feet, miss!” The dancing instructor clapped his hands, looking frustrated. “You act as if your shoes are weighted down!”

I stumbled, tripping on my shoes, wincing as I felt the skin tear on my elbow as it hit the floor.

The instructor chuckled, the Queen looked concerned, but my mother… she simply stared at me with a look of weary contempt.

A look I knew all too well.

_______________________________________

I gripped my elbow, almost feeling the sting of the scrape that had not happened yet in this lifetime. That fall had occurred six months before Ronan broke off the engagement, as I had been taught a newer dance, with a more intricate and delicate step, to celebrate his birthday. 

I had mastered it, after many brutal hours of training, and countless more falls. I was so determined to live up to the Queen’s expectations, to impress my future husband… to earn my mother’s love.  But I had never gotten to dance the steps. The Prince hadn’t even waited for the first dance to be start before he broke off the engagement.

But that had been the theme of my previous lifetime. Working so hard, striving with all my might, all for someone else’s sake… only to be thrown away in the end.

I couldn’t help but feel bitter and angry for a few moments, over the suffering I had been forced to bear.

It will not happen in this life… not this time. I promised myself, smiling grimly. Never again would I be used for another’s sake. 

No matter what.

 “Lenora?!” A voice called out, breaking me from my increasingly dark thoughts. I looked up, smiling as I caught sight of Queen Amerande, running towards me while waving her arms. 

“Your Majesty.” I started to curtsy, only to be picked up and squeezed tightly, barely able to breathe as she swung me around with a laugh.

“I’ve told you: No ‘Your Majesties’ until we’re in class!” She admonished me, setting me down and tucking my hair behind an ear with a bright grin. “I’ll be your mother one day, so why can’t you just call me that?!”

I tried to catch my breath. It had been so long since I had seen her last, I had forgotten what it was like to be caught up in her presence. Everything about her carried an energy, from her curly untamed hair to her bright green eyes that always seemed to be planning something, usually a surprise for someone else.  Even her steps were graceful and light, almost as if she danced instead of simply walked. Being by her side, the time was always filled with smiles and laughter. She was so bright, so caring, everything I had always imagined a real mother to be like.

But was that really the case?

In my last lifetime… once her son had broken our engagement, I had never heard of her protesting, not once, even though she had known better than anyone else that it would ruin me. Despite the years we had spent together, she had never reached out a hand to help me while I was struggling on the streets. Not even the day I had tried to break into the palace… right before…

A hand touched my face, startling me. “Dearest, you went to a very dark place just then.” Queen Amerande leaned forward, concerned. “Do you need to talk? We can skip lessons today.”

I forced a smile. “I’m fine. Just tired.” Which was the truth. I hadn’t had a full night’s rest since I was reborn, I was too scared to sleep deeply.

I was terrified I would wake up on the streets again, starving to death. And this second chance, this new life… all of it would be the dream.

The Queen did not look convinced at my answer. “Well… we’ll give it a shot, but don’t overdo it! These lessons are important to your future, but not nearly as important as you are. You know I love you as my own, I don’t want you working yourself to death!”

She hugged me again, and after a brief hesitation, I returned the gesture. She seemed so sincere, as if she really loved me. But how could that be true with what I knew from the previous life? I couldn’t trust in her.

I followed after her towards the etiquette room, making sure my steps were measured and graceful, and my smile perfect.

I may not have love, but I didn’t have that in my last lifetime either. This time I wouldn’t expect it. This time, I would have the resources I needed to protect myself, and my family. I wouldn’t have to depend on such a flimsy connection ever again.

_______________________________________

 I was worried that the two years I had spent away from the palace would make all my skills rusty. The night before I had spent part of the night devising excuses for the sudden drop in my skill levels, dreading the work I knew it might take to bring them up to an acceptable level.

Turns out, I was worried about the wrong thing.

“Miss, you’re like a completely different person!” Mrs. Rendler, the Etiquette teacher, applauded, obviously very impressed. “How have you managed to improve so much since your last lesson?”

I was stunned. I had nearly forgotten, as it had ended up being useless, how hard I had worked. Even if I was slightly rusty, there were still 3 years of practice I had gained. 3 years of working late into the night, practicing each movement and gesture until it was committed to muscle memory. Every greeting, every dance, every slight change in custom depending on rank… it was all still in my head, learned through my blood, sweat and tears.

 But to them… it was as if I had gained all this experience in the space of the week between lessons. An almost miraculous improvement.

“I- I…” Lost for words, I could only stutter. I had been prepared for the exact opposite scenario! How could I explain how I already knew everything they had planned to teach me? Fortunately before I could flounder too long, I was rescued by the Queen, who swooped in, grinning from ear to ear.

“Lenora’s so amazing!” She crowed, throwing an arm around my shoulders and puffing out her chest with pride. “She’s been working so hard and it’s definitely showing.”

“Why are you so proud?” Mrs. Rendler looked amused. “It was HER hard work.”

Queen Amerande was undeterred. “Yes, but she’s MY daughter!”

“Future daughter-in-law, Your Majesty.” The teacher corrected.

“Small difference.”

“This is ETTIQUETTE class, Your Majesty.” Her smile was slightly forced. “These differences mean everything here.”

The Queen pouted. “Fine. Have it your way. But even you have to admit, that my future daughter-in-law was amazing today!”

“Yes. Given your progress, we’ll definitely be able to move much faster through the lesson plan.” Mrs. Rendler laughed, a slightly ominous sound. “I’ll make a perfect lady of you, yet, Miss.”

I looked back and forth between the two of them, only now realizing the fate I had brought upon myself. “You mean the lessons are going to be…harder?”

“Oh yes!” She rubbed her hands together. “Much, much harder.”

“Don’t scare her!” Queen Amerande scolded.

“She can take it. The girl is a prodigy!”

I wanted to cry. I wasn’t a prodigy… I just had three extra years to practice in the week since they last saw “me.” Why didn’t I pretend to not know anything?!

But before I could think of any more excuses, the lessons were over, and I was escorted to the Royal Treasury, to meet Hallers’ brother.

_______________________________________

“Ah, you must be the young girl with wild dreams of performing miracles!” 

When I entered the treasury, I was immediately greeted by a large, muscular man with a broad smile. His clothing was slightly askew, a small stain along one sleeve. His hair was starting to grey at the temples, but was disheveled, as if he ran his finger through it frequently. He was the opposite of Hallers, who was always very proper and put together, if a little thin and reedy.

“Pardon?” I was taken aback at his words. Performing miracles? “Are you Mr. Hallers?” 

“Jim is fine.” He shook my hand heartily, shaking it back and forth, fortunately with a light grip. “I’m Tommy’s brother.”

“T-tommy?” It was too much, to try to imagine poor Hallers, who seemed to be born in a perfectly ironed suit, as being called anything as casual as ‘Tommy.”

Jim laughed at my confusion. “He hated me calling him that even then. Insisting that we came from a ‘proper butler family’ and should behave as such.” He rolled his eyes. “Such a waste of time and energy.”

“I assume you have more important things to worry about?” I grinned, liking the casual atmosphere. “That’s why you work in the Royal Treasury?”

“Not really. But I’m a genius with numbers and it’s easy to tuck me away from sight here so I don’t embarrass anyone.” He shrugged good naturedly. “And I don’t have to worry about using the wrong title on the wrong lord and getting hung.”

“A win-win situation.”

“Exactly.” He paused, looking me over with a critical eye. “No offense, young miss, but you seem… easier to talk to than I imagined you would be.”

I thought briefly of the life I had led for the last two years. “I’m... adaptable.”

THAT caught his attention. “Adaptable? That’s… unusual for someone in the nobility.”  Frowning, he stepped slightly closer, towering above me. The atmosphere grew tense. “Don’t bluff, dear. I’d rather you just be honest.”

_______________________________________

“I’m Lenora, the daughter of the Duke of Armeny.” I curtseyed as I introduced myself.

The shopkeeper glared. “If you’re nobility than why are you here, begging for work? Acting like you’re still high and mighty when you’ve got nothing. What nerve you lot have! ”

My shoulders slumped, my perfect posture breaking under the strain. “Please, we’re out on the street, and we’re starving.”

“Plenty of people used those same with tax collectors. Didn’t save them.”

“Please!” My nails broke as I tried to hold onto the doorframe, only to be pushed out.

The door slammed in my face. “And it won’t save you.”

_______________________________________

I looked him in the eye, refusing to back down,  to give even an inch. I wasn’t a sheltered young girl. I had changed. I had learned the hard way how. 

“Sometimes, I wish I WAS bluffing. I’ve learned to be whatever I have to be, to get the job done.”

I don’t know what he saw in my gaze. Whatever it was caused a look of deep sadness to pass over his features, a moment of shared anguish between us to terrible for words. He sat down at a desk, waving me to sit across from him.

“Tommy told me you are attempting to get the Duchy of Armeny to a place of financial stability?”

I sat down. “That’s correct.”

“And that you’ve been looking over the numbers for the past few days.”

“I have.”

He grinned humorlessly. “Then you know what kind of impossible task you have set for yourself.”

The statement hung in the air between us for a few moments, before I laughed, a bitter sound.

“Impossible? No. Extremely difficult, and I might have to play dirty before it’s done? Yes.”

I leaned forward keeping my eyes on his own, refusing to show any weakness.

 “I will do whatever it takes to get my family, and the people who depend on us, where we need to be. I WILL save us.” Sighing softly, I forced myself to relax and sit back in my chair.  “What I need to know is if YOU can help me learn what I need to know to get that done.”

There was silence.

Clap. Clap. Clap. He slowly applauded, seeming to truly lose the tension he had held since the moment I walked in.

“Very good. At least I know I won’t be wasting my time.” He stood up, rummaging through a bookshelf on the corner. “You want to know how to save your Duchy? Well, you’re going to have to understand how its SUPPOSED to be run. 

BAM! BAM!

Piles of thick books landed on the desk, a small coating of dust flying in the air at the impact. I gingerly picked one up, it was heavier than it looked.

“What are these?”

He grinned. “What you need. History. Government. Economics. Tax law.” He paused. “You know mathematics already right?”

“Yes.” I nodded, glad that I had learned years ago that to be able to oversee household expenses.

“Well that’s something.” He wrote furiously on a piece of paper, handing it to me. “Read the chapters I’ve written here, and come back in a week, we’ll discuss concepts and real world applications.”

I looked at the sheer amount of reading I had been assigned, would it even be possible?!

Likely reading the doubt on my face, Jim shrugged, “You don’t have to. But if you want to do it right, and be able to do it in the future without my help. This is what you need.” He held out his hand. “You work hard, and I promise you I’ll give you the knowledge you need to save your family. Deal?”

I reached out, shaking his hand. “Deal.”

He chuckled. “I have a bad feeling I might regret this.”

I shook my head. “That makes two of us.”

We arranged for the books to be taken to my carriage and set up the next week’s appointment to follow my etiquette lesson. 

As I prepared to leave, Jim hesitated, holding me back.

“Just so you know, I’m also teaching someone else. A young man from Tilendra.”

The neighboring country to our North? “Why is he here.”

Jim shrugged. “No idea, didn’t ask. He’s learning about taxation reform, so there might be some crossover between your lessons. Just warning you.  But don’t worry, he doesn’t seem like a terrible fellow.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Ah yes, what a glowing recommendation from such a trustworthy source.”

He laughed at that. “It’s not like I’m saying you have to marry him. Just sit in the same room as him while I talk about taxes.”

“Fine then.” 

Waving goodbye, I left for home, already overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work I had to do.

[leviathiane]

SHOW US YOUR WROR RAW UNPROCESSED WHOLE GRAIN ORGANIC NOTES

this is going to be a long-ass post i am so sorry to Everyone! i take a lot of notes.

So, as You specifically know (as well as all of my lovely Soggers) I take a LOT of notes. Obsessively. I write fucking everything bc i have very little memory and very much paranoia. This results in literal Piles of notes. Raw planning, on paper, on my phone– doodles of scenes im brainstorming, bulletpoints, entire SCRIPTS– it’s all there but scattered (I’ve got scenes planned in the margins of my goddamn anthropology notes and deciphering it was a NIGHTMARE) 

I won’t even upload all the photos of my writing notebook, because itd be like 50 pages of illegible nonesense. but heres a couple of planning phase pages. (may be hard to read, I dropped this notebook both into some tidepools, into a creek on campus, and accidentally leaked my waterbottle onto it in my backpack :/) 

if you can’t tell already, yes they all look exactly like this. Some are even more illegible, because I wrote them with the notebook half under my actual class notes. Because i wrote most of them in class. During lectures. And pretending very badly that i was not doing exactly that. (pay attention in class please i got away with this bc i was filling up elective units) 

I’m also flat out MISSING a large portion of my notes bc some of it? isnt even in the damn notebook. its on a sheet of binder paper, or on the empty back of an assignment. I’ve now lost most of those notes, but the ones i do still have are just as (even more, actually) indecipherable chicken scratch: 

Wow, how clean and tidy and easy to follow! i am in hell. 

and this doesnt mention the PAGES and PAGES of outlines that are on my laptop, and the pages of outlined scenes that are on the notes app of my phone. if i put them all, you would have entire chapter spoilers up to the very end of the story so i cant post a lot of them– and also theres just a goddamn lot of them. currently i have 16 pages of outlining. There are no spacing breaks. It is a solid 16 page block of text. Looking at it gives me a migraine. 

some assorted notes which i have dredged up from the deleted parts of the main draft google doc go all the way back to when i started Wror in June and they are Barely more readable than my handwriting on sheer account of: articulation is not my strength. These include: 

“Ch 8 plan: sabo gets trained specially, awakens his armament haki, beats ace in a bunch of spars and proves himself to be anything but vulnerable. The boys are like “we fucking recognize that technique ryu taught you before us!!” and goad ryu into finally starting them both on basic haki training, just to awaken it, since sabo already has. Also this is the chapter that ace finally confronts ryu for his devil fruit after ryu confirms that some devil fruit users can’t be hurt without haki and ace immediately catches onto that and tries to slam his pipe through ryus head. It doesn’t work, ryu catches the weapon with a haki covered hand, to avoid turning to flame with hit and ace just gets frustrated and accuses ryu of hiding his devil fruit, because he remembers what he saw in grey terminal and that now that he has seen haki he can distinguish it from what he saw and he’s sure no one could do what ryu did. He calls ryu a hypocrite for coddling them even after telling them to stop coddling sabo and ryu has to sit them down and explain that yes he does have powers and he has been hdiing it and explains his reasoning. However instead of understanding th eboys just get fired up and say they don’t wnt to be scared of fire, especially not when it means ryu isn’t taking them seriously in a spar. Ryu finally agrees to start them on desensitization training for fire trauma. Fire desensitization training happens on the beach, so that they have water nearby in case things get out of hand. At some point ace gives ryu a considering look and is just like “if you have a devil fruit that means you can’t swim either right?” and ryu is basically just like “lmao yeah” and then ace immediately attempts to drown him. Lots of murder attempts in ace’s department toget his older brother to be less of an idiot with little success lol(extra: ace tried to attack ryu earlier both to confirm that ryu has a devil fruit that would force him to use haki to hide it, and because he now knows that he CAN’T hurt ryu without haki and as thus can’t beat him and make him admit he’s awake without being good at haki.)” [chapter 8] 

“Small sabo lost his hat and goggles in the incident and while he doesn’t remember having them future sabo notices he looks uncomfortable and keeps touching his hair and head. Ace yells at him for it thinking he bandaging are bothering him and that he can’t touch them but little sabo just comments that something about it feels wrong. Luffy blurts our that he had a hat, like luffy does, But he doesn’t now ace begrudgingly mentions that they can’t get a new one in town. Future sabo doesn’t even hesitate and just plops his own hat onto his younger selves head. It clearly too big for him, and almost falls over his eyes but he grins up at future sabo and is like “wow!! Thank you! I’ll take care of it till I have one of my own” and creates a paradox like Luffys own hat. The footsteps younger sabo has yet to fill. This HAS to happen AFTER the talk where they explain that future and past sabo are both the same person, to give little sabo that pressure.” [chapter 9]

“(Right after this older sabo takes them down to the ocean so that they can play a little and desensitize themselves and immediately fucks himself over when he goes weak in the water bc he somehow fucking forgot his own devil fruit again and now even younger sabo is on his case about not letting him near the fucking ocean that little goddamn HYPOCRITE—) )” [for chapter 9]

“Ch 9 plan: they finally leave dawn island. Starts with the boys getting a haircut after training and luffy mentions how long it’s been since they’ve last needed a haircut, giving sabo and ace time to point out that it’s been 2 months now since ryu joined them, and that sabo was completely healed by now. The boys are now aware of the basics of haki, and while luffy hasnt awakened either yet ace and sabo both have a little bit of weak armament haki. (sabo won’t awaken observational haki until he gets his memories back) ryu tries to sneak off into the city to steal a boat but his brothers refuse to leave him behind and keep sneaking out after him, not wanting him to go alone and saying that since he’s been training them they’re clearly stronger and he needs to let them do this. Ryu eventually just lets it go because why the fuck not it’s a dream and they make him feel better. They get the boat out on open ocean and finally fucking sail out, cheering loudly, ryu struggling to make them all calm down but also not really trying. He’s happy as shit, and they’re all so excited and happy and sabo dips a hand into the waves and then smiles so fucking wide and tackles ryu so violently they both nearly tip into the water and it’s just very very good. “ [also for ch 9] 

** I flat out dont Have any outlining from before chapter 6, because i only started actually outling chapters after that. i tend to just sit down and Write up until i hit a plot point or writers block and then am forced to actually think it through and plan rather than letting it come naturally. thats also why the quality and editing is better in later chapters despite everything being written within the same time frame. 

besides entire chapter outlines, there are the scene specific phone notes like:

“(ADDED) Right after they leave dawn, when sabo is sure they’ve gotten enough of a head start, he calls Garp. He doesn’t say who he is, but that all of the boys are safe and happy with him and has them all talk into the phone to assure him that they’re fine. Garp is honestly just pissed off he doesn’t know who’s calling and when he asks sabo just laughs and says a disobedient brat before hanging up. “

“(ADDED) TO EXPAND ON CH 3: sabo gets offered the chance to go with dragon, and he hesitates on the offer to go through with his previous life with the family he’s made in the revolutionary again. He almost agrees, because the bought of losing them in this lifetime is near excruciating but reminds himself swiftly that it’s no place for his brothers and not what they’d really want, and he wants selfishly to be with them as long as he Can until he “inevitably” wakes up. The boys are visibly relieved by this, especially ace. (Sabo gets asked who he is by dragon, who wants to know more about the stranger with his son, but dragon has always been quicker to make connections no one guessed and he just smiled knowingly at sabo and tells him he’s sure the other will have no trouble finding them if he’s in need. Sabo in turn warns him to keep Kuma close, and to look for a slave girl named koala.)”

I have…. many of these. I have Many of Everything. 

finally, i have scene doodles. if i hit a bad writers block it usually helps me to sketch scenes or the character designs to regain my grip on what the hell is happening in the plot– Breach of Intention has character design sketches, pakcbond has MANY scene sketches, even some of my nsfw has some sketches. my wror skecthes arent Good of course, I am an art teacher for children and that means i am more often explaining the color wheel and brush techniques over drawing perfect human replicas– and i just dont really make a lot of fanart? ive never drawn sabo before but i sure have a bunch now. i wont include close ups because they genuinely suck but heres an example pic 

So… yeah thats about everything. this is a VERY long post and yet i only included like maybe ¼ or 1/5 of all the notes i have dbskhjgfkjadns lmk if anyone wants more (or notes for my Other stories, which contain NO WHERE the same absurd amount of shit that wror does.)

[takingcourage]

Additions: Part 3

Pairing: Jaime x MC

Word Count: 5,050

Summary: As the school year begins and tensions mount, Jaime and Arden start to wonder if they might be out of their depth.

Note: This chapter has been fighting me for the past two weeks, probably because it represents the true low point of the story and I hate making these characters suffer. While it’s not going to be completely smooth sailing from here on out, I can assure you that things will be better in Part 4. 

Warning: This section contains references to childhood depression and self-harm. There’s nothing graphic or gratuitous, but the mentions may still be upsetting. Please read at your own discretion.

August, 2027

“You keep spacing out over there. Should I be concerned?”

Smiling coyly, Arden glanced up from her carton of stir fry. Jaime sat across their dining room table, a half-eaten spring roll held between his fingers. It was the first time in days that she’d actually taken a proper look at him, and she was a little disappointed that she couldn’t do more than just look.

In seven years of marriage, his appearance had remained relatively unchanged. His eyes were still thoughtful and kind, his hair thick and just unruly enough to be perfect without him having to try. Maybe it was just his glorious golden tan skewing her perceptions, but she could swear that becoming a father had made him infinitely more attractive.  

Probably just wishful thinking since I don’t have him to myself anymore, she mused, meeting his inquiring eyes with decision. “Can’t I enjoy having a lunch date with my husband?”

His demeanor warmed. “I’ve kind of missed having time for just the two of us.”

“Me too. If these monthly meetings mean getting some of that time back, I’m all for them.”

She knew neither one of them would choose to change their circumstances. Having time together with the kids meant the world to both of them, but it also meant that things were different.

“These days, I feel like I’m lucky to get ten minutes alone with you before we go to bed.” Jaime chewed his last bite of spring roll contemplatively. “And even then, we’re usually talking about the kids.”  

“I know. By the time we make it to our room, we’re so exhausted that there’s usually just enough time to exchange a few sentences before we pass out. It’s not like we have time for a lot of conversation…or anything else.” Arden stretched a leg toward him, gently toeing his bare shin.

His eyebrows raised at the contact, but there was a sparkle of humor in his deep brown eyes. “Maybe we should start having these meetings more often?”

“I’d love to, but with all the projects you have slated for the rest of the year, I don’t think it’s very feasible. But we’ll keep finding ways to spend time together, I’m sure.” With a wink, she straightened back into her seat. “Besides, that’s not what we’re here for now anyway. We’re supposed to be comparing notes and making sure we’re still on the same page about parenting.”

“So we are.” In spite of his jocular tone, she knew he hadn’t forgotten. “All right, getting down to business.” He pulled a notecard from his pocket, unfolded it, and laid it between them on the wooden surface. “Question 1: What are your highs and lows of the first full week of school?”

Arden took a long sip from her glass of water. They’d prepared the questions beforehand, so she’d known exactly what was coming, but it was still difficult to separate the events of the past five days into those two extremes.

The week had been filled with so many little triumphs, from Sophia making band to Alex finally waking up on his own without needing a full half-hour of reminders. But in the end, one stood out.

“I think my high was getting that email from Will’s teacher. He’s a social guy at home, but I was afraid that he might struggle to connect with with kids in class. Hearing that he’s been making friends was really heartening.” Jaime’s lips parted, and she paused to let him speak.

“I especially liked what she said about him seeking out the shy kids during recess. He reminds me a lot of someone I knew when I was about his age…” Jaime’s voice trailed, but he ended the sentiment with a meaningful nod. 

Arden smirked at his suggestion. “Maybe we should pack some ice-cream bars in his lunch?”

“That might not be such a bad idea,” he said with a low laugh. 

Eyes crinkling affectionately, she shook her head and fished out another bite of vegetables. Despite the momentary diversion, she knew they needed to get back to the other half of his question. “Now for the hard part. My low was…Alex’s attitude about school and his refusal to talk about it. I keep hearing his thoughts about how stupid it is, but I can’t ask him anything pointed unless he actually tells me out loud.”

Jaime pinched his entree open with a sigh. “I think that’s probably mine too. He keeps shutting down whenever I try to talk to him about it. I keep hoping it’s just the adjustment period and he’ll find a new routine, but…”

But they both knew his history was discouraging. Though they’d decided long before the kids ever came to live with them that their case files weren’t going to define their expectations, it was impossible not to see the similarities between their own experience and what had come before. 

All three of Alex’s previous foster families had reported problems with managing anger, along with some variety of troubles in school – missing assignments, incomplete tests, refusing to speak in class. Though this year was off to a rough start, they still hoped to finally break the mold. 

“So what do we do moving forward?”

It was hardly the first time they’d posed the question to one another, but brilliant solutions were few and far between. For several seconds, Jaime stared at the wall behind her head, his thoughts indiscernible. “I think we just keep doing what we’ve been doing -- we deescalate when he’s upset and encourage him to talk about what’s bothering him. We have to get through to him eventually.” 

“I just wonder if there’s more going on,” Arden ventured. The half-formed thought had been stewing in her mind for a while. “I think he’s more scared than he is angry.”

“I’ve been getting that sense too. Starting in a new school is tough -- I remember. Maybe I’ll get a chance to talk to him about it soon.”

“It might help,” Arden encouraged. “He might share more if he knew what you’ve been through.”

"I hope so.” His smile returned, clearing the worries from his face. “Anyway, my high was Sophia asking me to help with that question on her homework last night. You were right there, so it’s not like we were alone or anything, but it’s one of the only times she’s initiated conversation with me.”

Arden still remembered the sound of Jaime’s jubilant thoughts as he’d read the problem over Sophia’s shoulder. Even just recalling it to memory sent a fresh wave of shivers over her shoulders. “You’re bonding with our daughter over math homework, Jaime. Who would have thought we’d be saying that a year ago?”

He shook his head with a half smile. “It’s finally starting to feel kind of normal. Not quite there yet, but I feel like we’re really close in a lot of ways.”

“I think so too.”

“And I have to say, I think we’ve been doing a pretty amazing job with them so far.” 

So far. Behind her smile, those two words lingered like a bitter aftertaste. As much as he’d intended them as an encouragement, Arden longed for the day when such compliments no longer came with conditions. 

_____

September, 2027

Arden tossed in a dishwasher tablet, sealed the door, and pressed start. For a moment, she stood in front of the noisy appliance, giving her mind a rest before she could start questioning why the other end of the house was so quiet.

Twenty minutes ago, all three kids had assured her that they were working hard at their studies. For her oldest and youngest, it wasn’t difficult to believe that they were still on task. For Alex, it was a completely different story.

Much as he hated being told what to do, he needed frequent reminders to continue working. The number of times she’d walked in to find him doodling in the margins when he was supposed to be reading was alarming. Thankfully, between the thoughts she overheard and her ability to read his body language, she could typically walk the fine line between motivation and bringing him to the point of anger. 

She’d never seen a child so hostile to any kind of instruction. They were only a month into the school year, but she was already convinced that the child’s teacher must be a literal angel to put up with his stubbornness for so much of the day.

He’s probably drawing again, she determined as her husband’s sure step broke through the after-dinner lull. Coming from the garage, Jaime met her in the hallway, a pair of lightbulbs in his hand.

“Are those for the upstairs bathroom?”

“They are.” He kissed her cheek before poking his head into the empty dining room. “The kids?”

“Alex is in his room. Will’s upstairs with Sophia, working on some vocab. She finished her homework before we ate.”

“Even exponents?”

“She’s got the hang of them now.”

Their daughter’s light tread came tripping down the stairs at that moment, her body a blur as she flew through the hall.

“Looks like she’s keeping both of them on top of their work,” Jaime commented when Sophia disappeared into the boys’ room.

“I should probably check in,” Arden suggested. “Make sure she’s not bossing him around too much.” She caught her husband’s attention once more before he mounted the stairs. “While you’re up there, could you tell Will that I’m ready to work on social studies whenever he is?”

With a nod, he continued his climb. As the sound of his steps faded, her ears detected a far different noise coming from Alex’s room -- a noise that sounded very much like ripping paper. 

That can’t be good.

Picking up speed, she crossed the threshold just a few seconds later. A pile of roughly torn half-sheets from a notebook lay on the floor before her. Examining the scene, Arden was vaguely conscious of Sophia’s feeble attempts to retrieve them, but what stood out to her more than anything was the florid coloring of her son’s face.

“I told you to leave me alone!” he shouted, pushing a stack of school books from his desk to the floor.

Sophia sidestepped in time to avoid the collision, but Arden still winced when they hit the floor. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Let’s take a deep breath and calm things down in here,” she began, determining that it was probably best to insert herself into the confrontation before the things went any further.

“He needs to finish his homework so he can pass and not get held back another grade,” Sophia summarized. “He can’t keep doing this!” 

The hint of piety in her tone grated the entire length of Arden’s spine. Even though she found herself agreeing with her daughter’s assessment, it was all-too evident that the accusation wasn’t going to do Alex any good.

That child was still seated, his heaving chest and white knuckles providing a glimpse of just how much frustration he’d been bottling up. If the objects on the floor were any indication, his anger had started to spill over. 

“You’re not my boss!”

Arden swallowed hard. She knew these moments were important – that she needed to make it clear that she was the parent and that they couldn’t just make rules for themselves. But the emotional tension was almost paralyzing. She could hardly think, much less find a solution to the conflict brewing in front of her. 

Still, she had to do something.

“Okay,” she started, still trying to gauge the situation. “It’s obvious that you’re both upset right now. I think it’s best for us to all take a few minutes to calm down before we try to work through this. Sophia, you can come with me to the living room. Alex, we’ll let you have some space and be back in a little bit to sort things out.”

…to the docks…

Arden raised a quizzical brow at her son’s arbitrary thought, but pressed on. “We’ll come back in a few minutes,” she reiterated, hoping that the reminder would get him help to calm him. 

Passing through the hallway, she checked the lock on the front door. As far as she knew, he had no history of running away, but his thought about the docks had left her unsettled. She wasn’t taking any chances.

_____

Jaime sauntered down to the main level of the house a few minutes later, expired lightbulbs in hand. By the time he located the proper recycling box and returned from the garage, his wife was waiting in the doorway.

In hushed tones, she filled him in on what had passed while he’d been upstairs. Feeling almost guilty for the time he’d spent joking around with Will, he was determined to pick up the slack in handling the aftermath.

“I’ll go and talk to Alex,” he volunteered, rubbing his palm over the line of his jaw. “I’d like to figure things out with him before we bring Sophia back into it.”

“Thanks. Good luck.” 

Making his way to the open bedroom door, he rapped a finger on the wood before pushing it the rest of the way. As the door swung wide, the first thing he noticed was that the room was empty. The second was that the window was wide open.  

"Alex?” His heart sank even before the word had left his mouth. This can’t be happening. 

Both girls came running at his elevated voice, quickly coming to the same conclusion that he had on seeing the scene.

Jaime didn’t waste time searching the room, instinct telling him that the boy had run from the house. All that mattered was finding him as soon as possible.

Arden’s small wave attracted his attention. When he looked to her, she mouthed a single word: docks.

“I’ll help!” Sophia offered, voice cracking under the pressure of tears. “He gets this way when he’s really upset, but I can usually calm him down.”

With a hand to his daughter’s trembling shoulder, Jaime inclined his head to look her in the eyes. The glistening pools flicked up to his for less than a second before falling back to the papers on the floor.

“Sophia, I know where to find him, and I’ll do everything I can to calm him down myself. For now, I think it’s best for you to stay here with Arden and Will,” he proposed, squeezing her shoulder gently.

“Okay,” she relented, though he could tell from her sigh that she was skeptical about his plan.

Can you explain it to her? he asked his wife as he slipped through the door.

At her nod, he started for the lake.

It seemed unlikely that the boy was in any real danger, but that didn’t stop Jaime’s heart from hammering harder with every step he took through the deepening twilight. Threat or no threat, he needed Alex to know that he wasn’t going to face anything alone.

He relaxed his pace on seeing the small figure at the end of the dock, but he was still breathing hard by the time he made it to the boy’s side.

His son was seated at the corner of the deck, eyes shining with a defiance that Jaime had seen more times than he could count. This particular display of anger would have worried him far more if his son wasn’t sitting with his chin tucked into his knees, curled smaller than he’d ever seen him.

Every part of his consciousness was screaming for him to bundle the boy up in his arms, hold him tightly, and promise that he was never going to let him go. Better judgement was all that held him back.  

“Hey,” he started simply, making sure the child was aware of his presence.

Alex ignored him, teeth ground in frustration.

With a deep breath, Jaime lowered himself beside the boy, careful to maintain several inches of distance between them. He looked him over again, catching a glimpse of the sunset on a series of haphazard lines along his forearm. 

Leaning closer, he could see that they were scratches. No blood had been drawn, but there was no mistaking that they’d been made by a set of fingernails.

Instinctively, his eyes jumped to the boy’s hands. Jaime’s stomach churned. No explanation was good, and he knew with absolute certainty that the marks hadn’t been there during dinner. 

He found himself wishing for Arden’s abilities -- for any advantage that could help him in the conversation that lay ahead. 

“Alex, we need to talk, bud,” he started gently, almost relieved that his son still hadn’t worked up the courage to look him in the eyes. Staring out at the water was easier for both of them. 

The boy’s only reply was a noncommittal, “Hmph.”

When Jaime looked at his face again, he couldn’t help noting the deep set of his brow. Arden was right. There was something more to this than just being angry. 

Whatever it was that plagued his son, this was probably the best opportunity he’d get to help sort it out. Adrenaline pumping, he launched in. “Alex, I know that sometimes running away from problems seems like the best way to solve them, but it usually just makes things worse.”

The child’s hands shifted, the fingers of one hand trailing up and down the series of angry red lines on his arm.

Jaime counted through several long breaths, hoping that Alex would take initiative to break the awkward silence. “Could you tell me what upset you tonight? If I have to try to guess, we’re going to be out here a long time.” 

“I hate school.”

“Did something happen today?” he pressed further. They’d known that the transition to a new school would be challenging, but nothing they’d seen in the first three-and-a-half weeks had given any particular cause for alarm.

“It’s just stupid and I hate it.”

Trying another tactic, Jaime delved into his own past. “I hated school too when I first moved in with Paula. I came to live with her toward the end of the school year, so I didn’t know a single person in my class. I spent the whole first month arguing with her every morning before I got on the bus.”

Alex didn’t say anything, though his grip on his knees loosened almost imperceptibly.  

“She always made me go, so one morning, I hid under the bed so she couldn’t find me.”

“Did she?” His voice was soft, but curious.

“She did.” Jaime shifted to straighten his legs, propping both arms behind him. His stomach was almost sick with the desire to keep his son talking. “And you know what she said?”

“Huh?”

“She told me that I was a superhero.”

Confused, Alex lowered his knees and crossed them, head inclining away from the water for the first time since Jaime had arrived. 

From the corner of his eye, He could see that the boy’s eyes were on him. “She told me that feeling upset could be a superpower, but that I wasted all of its potential when I let it control me instead of being the one to take control. Then she drove me to school and told me to try using my frustration to be the best second-grader I could be.”

Jaime monitored his response, catching the sneer that came over Alex’s features. He didn’t need Arden’s powers to know that the boy was unimpressed.

“I know, I know. It was cheesy. I realized that at the time too, but I wanted to prove to her that I was stronger than those angry feelings. In the end, her advice actually helped.”

Alex rolled his eyes, but said nothing.

“Look, I don’t want to make assumptions, but it seems like some of your feelings have been getting control of you too. Can you tell me what’s been happening?”

“I got angry. Couldn’t help it.”

“What couldn’t you help?”

“I don’t know.”

“You mean throwing your books and running away?” He didn’t even want to give voice to his other suspicion. “Hurting yourself?”

“I don’t know. I just couldn’t help it.”

“Can you tell me what upset you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you sure? Did something happen at school? Was it something Sophia said?” He asked the questions at measured intervals, allowing the boy ample time to respond. When his answer finally, came, the harsh edge in his voice left no doubt in his mind that the conversation was over. 

“I said I don’t know.”

Drawing a ragged breath through his nose, Jaime stared out across the water. There was only so much he could do. It was eminently clear that his son wasn’t interested in sharing any more with him at this point, and pushing him further wouldn’t end well for either one of them.  

Conscious that the rest of his family had been left in a state of upheaval, Jaime determined that it was in everyone’s best interest for them to return home. The matter hadn’t been resolved, but there was still one final reminder he could offer the boy.

“Alex, I’m not sure how to help you right now, but I want you to know that you’re not going to have to deal with this on your own. We’re going to figure this out together, okay?”

The child gave no verbal response, but he joined Jaime in standing and returning to the house.

_____

Two hours later, Arden opened their bedroom door to find Jaime sitting motionless on the bed. They’d parted ways shortly after saying their goodnights to all three kids in the boys’ room.  

With the teary reunion that had occurred when Jaime returned with their runaway, it was little wonder that Sophia had insisted on sleeping on the floor between her brothers. The three of them shared a bond that was unlike anything Arden had ever known as an only child. For her own selfish reasons, she was grateful for the arrangement. Knowing Sophia would keep an eye on things made it all the more likely that she and Jaime could find some rest during the night. 

“I just got off the phone with the caseworker again.” She joined him at the end of the bed, legs close enough feel his presence even without actually touching. “She said we did everything we could.” The words felt as hollow as the sentiment behind them. 

Jaime’s hand slipped into hers, and she gave the clammy fingers a reassuring squeeze. 

“Anyway, I was hoping we could talk for a minute. I wrote up most of the incident report while I was talking with her, but there’s still time to add more details before I send it until tomorrow. Is there anything I should put in based on what happened at the docks? Did he tell you anything?”

“No, I just made things worse.” 

Unaccustomed to the defeat in her husband’s tone, Arden pulled up a leg to angle toward him. His face was a mask, though his thoughts were easy to read. 

I can’t believe I let this happen. 

“Jaime, this isn’t just you,” she implored, “I’m the one who left him alone in there. It never occurred to me that he would climb through the window.” Her strength waning, she dropped fully to the mattress. 

They’d known that parenting would come with its share of struggles, but she hadn’t anticipated that it would leave them feeling so helpless. She was used to problems that could be solved with the right combination of research and discussion. Their children’s hardships were far too ambiguous for such treatment -- especially when it came to their middle child. 

She’d thought that they could head off all of his anger and frustration – prevent it from factoring into this school year to any large degree. But instead, it seemed that he’d been bottling everything up and making it worse. Whatever it was that had set him off this evening was just the indication of a larger worry bubbling below the surface.

“What did we do wrong?”

Arden regarded him solemnly, forehead leaning against her palm as she propped an elbow on the bed. She allowed his question to soak over her mind, flirting with the temptation to take blame for something that she knew had been beyond their control. “I don’t know what else we could have done, honestly. Short of nailing his window shut, I’m not sure how we could have made things any better.”

Jaime fell to his back, emitting a long sigh before he attempted an answer. “I failed, Arden. I went out there thinking I’d be able to talk him through this and we’d be okay. I always figured that my past would give me an edge in dealing with these kinds of things, but I’m at a loss. I don’t know what else to do for him.”

Arden scooted next to him, her ankle hooking his as she drew close enough for contact. “Maybe there isn’t anything else we can do. Especially if there’s more to this than anger.”

“I know he’s been upset before, but this was a new low. If what the caseworker’s told us is right, he’s never run away or hurt himself like this. Why now?”

Shaking her head, she considered the flurry of thoughts that had been in the boy’s mind after they’d returned inside. “I think resentment and fear have been building for a long time. I don’t know who’s responsible for putting them there, but it breaks my heart.” Her throat clogged as she fought over her next words. “I hate that I’m even having to say this, but I think there’s something else going on too. He’s internalizing everything except his anger, and that really worries me.”

Jaime tensed. “I thought he was just having trouble adjusting. New house, new family, new school – I get how difficult that is. But I never wanted to hurt myself because of it.”

“I know.” She buried her face in the mattress as she gathered her thoughts. When she surfaced, it was with a question. “Do you remember that new mental-health initiative Ellen and I covered a couple of years ago? I remember thinking at the time that rates of childhood depression were way higher than I would have expected. I don’t think it’s totally off base to find a therapist for Alex to talk to. Even if that’s not what it is, he clearly needs someone more qualified to help him work through this.”

The more she thought about it, the more determined she was to pursue that course of action. She began drafting a conversation in her head, already making plans to call a therapist the next morning. It wasn’t until some minutes later that she realized Jaime still hadn’t spoken.

When she turned back to him, his face was furrowed with an agonizing thought.

Why am I not enough?

Arden’s blood ran cold. It had been so long since he’d doubted himself like this that she’d vainly hoped they’d moved beyond it. Her husband’s sensitivity was one of the things she loved about him most, but it had a tendency to make him vulnerable at the worst moments.

“Jaime, whatever’s going on with him has nothing to do with you.”

“But I’m his dad. Fixing things is part of my job.” He rubbed his temple, expression still strained.

Rolling closer to him, she splayed a hand over his chest. The hard muscles eased under her touch. “It’s impossible to fix everything,” she murmured, needing to hear the words every bit as much as he did. “And don’t you dare sell yourself short. As far as I’m concerned, all three of them are the luckiest kids in the world because they get to have you as their dad.” 

“You’d never know it from what happened tonight.” 

She hushed him with a tap of her finger. “Humor me for a second.” When he remained silent, she continued. “What were you doing outside with Will yesterday after they got home from school?”

His face softened, though it wasn’t quite a smile. “Kicking around a soccer ball.”

“Exactly. Babe, you’ve seen me play soccer. I fell over once because I wasn’t coordinated enough to kick with one foot at a time. Do you think Will would have had nearly as much fun if I’d been out there instead?”

“No,” he agreed grudgingly.

“And do you realize that you might be the first man in Sophia’s life that actually deserves to earn her trust? You can’t put a value on how important that is.”

“Then why can’t I get my own son to talk to me?”

Arden stopped short at the pitiful question. “It’s not just you. Sometimes I feel like ninety percent of what I know about that child comes from Sophia. He still isn’t ready to come out of his shell around the two of us, and I guess we’re going to have to be okay with that for now. It’s easier with the other two, sure. We keep seeing progress with them. Sooner or later, we’ll see it with Alex too.”

He turned toward her, capturing her in his embrace. She held fast, sighing with relief at the security in his arms. “I can probably count on one hand the number of times you’ve been the one telling me to be patient.”  

Arden’s laugh came out in hot breaths against his shoulder. “See? That’s just another reason why I need you in my life. Can you imagine all of the trouble I’d get into without you?” For long moments, he held her tight, strength coursing through every inch of skin that touched. “We’re going to make it through this.”

“We’re not quitters,” he added, combing a hand through her hair. 

“Especially not when the prize is worth it in the end. Those kids downstairs are so worth it. Our family is worth it.” 

I love you. 

The corners of her mouth tipped up at his thought. “I love you too, babe. So, so much.” 

Three months into parenting, they felt so far from where they wanted to be. Yet, as they clung to one another that night, both dared to believe that it was still within their reach.

[traincat]

Hello encyclopedia red-and-blue! Do you know the comics/date/etc when Johnny and Peter transitioned to being friends rather than not?

This is a difficult question to answer, because there’s not like, one moment when it happened, and I’m gonna argue for a second that they’ve actually always been friends -- not as close as in modern day canon, but there’s clearly something about these characters that draws them towards each other. I’d blanket label the 70s as when they actually admitted it to themselves and each other, with the note that Peter’s kind of antisocial and doesn’t like admitting he has actual friends if they’re not right in front of his face all the time and would spend the next twenty years going “the Torch and I may not be the best of friends” while Johnny’s busy writing “Mr. Johnny Hyphen Man” in a binder with doodles of hearts and racecars.

An example, from Fantastic Four #372. I mean, previous to this, Peter went completely out of his way to cheer Johnny up after his divorce, and he’s one of the only people Johnny told the full circumstances behind his Skrull marriage to, and Peter attempted to defend Johnny’s reputation to J Jonah Jameson, and now he’s swinging around in the rain looking for him after Johnny panicked seeing his Skrull ex-wife who wants to kill him in the crowd and flew off, but sure, they’re not close friends or anything. Whatever, Peter. A lot of their friendship is predicated on them saying they’re not friends while simultaneously acting like… well, friends. As early as Strange Tales Annual 2, Peter’s reaching out to work with Johnny, which is really rare behavior for him at this point in time:

Trapping him a giant spider web is a form of reaching out. A lot of Peter’s early antagonistic behavior towards Johnny, like when he crashes the party Johnny’s at in Amazing Spider-Man #8, comes off to me as him wanting Johnny’s attention. I mean, there’s no reason for him to crash that party. There’s no villain. He sends a web bat in and attacks Johnny with it just because he wants to annoy him, but why does he want to get a reaction from him so bad? It’s pretty classic pigtail pulling behavior. Peter’s young and aggressive and doesn’t really have friends at this stage in his life and he’s in this new masked identity that’s given him a lot of confidence, and something about Johnny makes him want to get his attention, so he’s doing it the only way that occurs to him. And the speech Johnny gives at Midtown High in Amazing Spider-Man #3 made such an impression on Peter that it’s what he credits his “never give up” attitude to.

Marvel Team Up #147. They’ve always had a really strong emotional connection to each other. In Amazing Spider-Man #17, Johnny’s the one who realizes there’s something wrong with Spider-Man and that he’s not just putting on a show for the crowd while everyone is still caught up in the spectacle.

He’d also be the one who, when everyone else (save for Flash Thompson, notably Spider-Man’s biggest fan ever) declared Spider-Man a coward for running out on this fight, maintained that Spider-Man had to have had a reason, going so far as to wait for him at their traditional meeting spot for a whole night in Amazing Spider-Man #18.

So from almost the very start, they’re clearly very important to each other. On some instinctual level, the characters want to be around each other, however you view that bond. And I think it’s important to note that they both like riling the other up; they’re having fun with each other when they argue and banter. 

“Bite your tongue, hothead!” Peter doesn’t really want Johnny not to acknowledge that they make a good team, it’s just not him not to make a smart remark, just like Johnny doesn’t really hate to say it. They’re having fun with each other. (ASM #19) So short of Peter initially breaking into Johnny’s house to show off, I think right off the bat, they really like each other, whether or not they’re willing to acknowledge that out loud. 

But if you wanted to track important developments in the friendship -- I think Marvel Team Up is a very important series. Though it would later go on to feature Peter’s adventures with other popular Marvel characters, the first three issues are devoted to them and Johnny remains in heavy rotation throughout the title. A lot of the issues focus on their relationship and how they work together, so it’s good for getting a handle on their friendship. I also think the Spider-Mobile played a big part in how close they’d ultimately become -- shortly after Gwen’s death, a motor company wants to use Spider-Man in an ad campaign, but Peter goes to Johnny to actually get the car built in Amazing Spider-Man #126-130. It’s a very emotionally raw time in Peter’s life, obviously, with Gwen having just died, and he doesn’t have a lot of emotional support -- Harry’s about to go Green Goblin on him, Flash is suffering from his grief as well. He has Mary Jane, but Gwen was her friend too, and she’s suffering from her warring desire to be there for Peter and her desire to protect herself emotionally. But Johnny doesn’t know any of that; Johnny only knows Spider-Man, and as much of Peter’s life as Peter will reveal to him. (The only time Johnny has ever really pushed about Peter’s identity is when it became very clear that Johnny used to know who he was, and that his memories had somehow been altered, post Brand New Day in Amazing Spider-Man 590&591.) This point in time is later given even greater importance in Spider-Man/Human Torch #3, when Peter tells Gwen’s spirit that he feels like he’s the best version of himself -- the person he was with her -- when he’s with Johnny, and when he confides in Johnny about Gwen’s death. It’s a really good issue about them.

Their friendship was further strengthened by Peter’s unmasking (in Spider-Man/Human Torch #5), which happens during a moment where Peter has to trust in his and Johnny’s ability to communicate without words, and I think the unmasking has led to their current place of friendships, where they’re apparently regularly having lunch and movie dates now. (You can’t just tell me this has been happening, canon!! I demand the flashbacks!!!) But by this point in canon they’d already been meeting up early Christmas morning to spend some time with each other for years. (Spider-Man Christmas Special 1995)

I love them so much.

[embroidery123]

Easy embroidery: how to stitch stars

#embroiderypatterns Today's tutorial is VERY beginners-friendly! So if you are still a little nervous to take up stitching, this little project would be a great start :) It is also not tied up to a pattern. On the contrary, you can build this starry sky yourself in a way that you like the most. Or use any of these stars as a doodley motif in another project. And if you are a beginner and want to know the basics first, you can start with the following posts: how to start thread, how to end thread and others in the “Guide to embroidery” tag! And without further ado, let's start. There will be lots of pictures ahead! So, the first star is this easy 5-point star. I quickly doodled it up on the fabric with a chalk pencil. And to work it you just need to make straight stitches for all of the edges. As easy as it can be. And it looks kind of cute, doesn't it? :) Now, if you want to fill it in, you can do that with parallel stitches slanted in the same angle as one of the edges. You can place these stitches as densely as you want. In my case, I decided to take it easy and leave some space between them. If you want to add an extra “tail” to the star to show that it is moving, you can use one of the line stitches to do that. I used split back stitch here when you come up through the fabric a step down the line and then insert the needle in the previous stitch. Alternative stitches that you can use for these lines: stem stitch, back stitch and regular split stitch. At the end of the tail, the lines interrupt so you can leave some space between these tiny stitches. I'm actually still moving in a “back stitch” way here, moving backward, but you can work it as a running stitch. Falling stars, falling stars everywhere. And we have a rising star! :) Another easy way to stitch a pentagonal star is to make longer stitches connecting the five points. The finished one! There are also 4-pointed stars with soft, bending sides. They are easy to work too, we just need to use fly stitch technique. Make a stitch at one of the peaks and end it in another peak, then come up through the fabric in between these two points while tucking the working end of the thread under the needle tip. Pull the needle through and anchor the stitch. Repeat for the other sides to get a star like this :) Now, a criss-cross star! Make a vertical stitch, cross it with a horizontal one, and then add two diagonal stitches. Doesn't it remind you of the northern star? In fact, you don't have to make the first two stitches so long, If you make all of the stitches approximately the same length, it will look very cute too! Lastly, you may want to add just little dot-like stars, which are also a very pretty way to work starry skies. For that, you can use french knots. For a very small dot use 1 strand of thread and 1 wrap around the needle. For bigger knots, you can make 2 wraps (3 wraps is usually too much), and the more strands you use, the more dimensional will be the knots. And if you want to create a scattering of little stars, use seed stitch. You can grab even just 1 fiber of fabric with your thread if you want to make these little guys extra tiny. And that's about that! Now you can make your own starry sky using these tutorials. Isn't that one of the easiest ways to make a decorative hoop for your home? :)

[slottrust]

Google speed test

Google speed test download#

Step 5: A new window will appear which will show you results of your internet speed.

Google speed test download#

For the fixed broadband internet speeds, after witnessing a small dip in May, overall fixed download speeds during June are the highest for India on the Global Index, the report showed. India also fared well in the fixed broadband internet speeds with the average download speed of 58.17Mbps in June last year as compared to 55.65Mbps in May. Meanwhile, the Internet speeds in India continue to witness an upward trend, taking the country to 70th (+3) and 122nd (+6) position in the global internet speed ranking based on fixed broadband and mobile download speeds in June last year, respectively, said US-based broadband speed tester Ookla. M-Lab is the company that Google has partnered with to. If you want to test the internet speed again then select the button ‘test again’. To perform the test, the IP address is shared with M-Lab, but no other personal information is shared. We recommend a download speed of at least 10 Mbps to stream games on Stadia, and faster speeds for resolutions greater than 720p. To test your mobile page speed, choose the screen size and. Step 5: A new window will open where you will get all the details about your internet speed. Mobile Internet users outnumber desktop users, so Google uses your mobile speed to rank your page.Step 4: Select ‘Run Speed Test’ button in the box.The speed test usually transfers less than 40 MB of data, but may transfer more data on fast connections,” a message from the dialogue box read. “Check your Internet speed in under 30 seconds. Step 3: A new dialogue box will appear and you will see this option ‘Internet speed test’.Step 2: Type ‘Run Speed Test’ in the search bar.Step 1: First type on any internet browser on your computer, smartphone or tablet Next time youre wondering if your connection sucks or if its your imagination, heres an easy way to check - just open Google and search speed test - if.Published information includes your IP address and test results, but doesn’t include any other information about you as an Internet user,” Google said.ĥ-step guide to check internet speed from Google homepage M-Lab conducts the test and publicly publishes all test results to promote Internet research. “To run the test, you will be connected to Measurement Lab (M-Lab) and your IP address will be shared with them and processed by them in accordance with their privacy policy. Also Read - Google Doodle Celebrates 200th Birth Anniversary of French Painter Rosa Bonheur Test Website Performance with Google Page Speed Browse to the page to be tested Open Developer Tools pane (press CTRL + SHIFT + I) Now go to PageSpeed tab. Google partnered with Measurement Lab (M-Lab) to run the internet connection speed test in five simple steps. Even though there are several websites and apps to check your internet speed, one of the most easiest way is to simply check on Google homepage. One easy and quick way to check your internet speed is simply on Google homepage. M-Lab makes this information publicly available to enhance internet search, so presumably with good reason.New Delhi: Is your internet service provider (ISP) delivering the data speed you were promised? Is your internet fluctuating from time to time? If you answered yes to both the questions then there is only one way to find out – check your internet speed. M-Lab is the company that Google has partnered with to provide these results, and Google is integrating the test results (including the IP address) into its collection of global Internet performance data. To perform the test, the IP address is shared with M-Lab, but no other personal information is shared. Repeating the test again, three minutes later, Google tells me I have a download speed of 315Mbps, twice the previous speed, while keeps its number unchanged. I ran the tests 10 seconds apart, with nothing else on the same network consuming data. Latency values ​​also change slightly from solution to solution. The result using shows 340Mbps speed in my case, I have 600Mbps fiber optic nodes, upload is 91Mbps.Īccording to Google, the download is much lower, “only” 219 Mbps, while the upload is maintained. Is this speed test reliable?Ĭuriously enough, the result of both pages is not the same: The result is similar to what we see upon arrival the speed test page created by Netflix that we talked about earlier. In the image above it is possible to see what appears when doing this search, which is a box with a button that we can press to start testing the speed of our Internet connection. There are some special statements that Google reacts to differently, and this is proven by Google’s “speed test”.

[kiki202201]

New highlights of office 2019

1. Tab switching animation Office 2019 has added a lot of interface special effects animations, among which the label animation is the most attractive one. Whenever we click on a Ribbon panel, Office will automatically pop up an animation effect. The overall feeling is very similar to the Windows 10-specific window fading in and out. Judging from the actual usage, the newly added transition effects not only do not drag down the performance, but also give people a feeling of smooth interface switching, which is refreshing. 2. New functions such as built-in IFS Excel 2019 has built-in several new functions, such as "IFS" multi-conditional judgment, "CONCAT" multi-column merge, "TEXTJOIN" multi-region merge and so on. Taking "IFS" as an example, we generally choose IF for conditional judgment. When there are more than two conditions, multiple sets of IF functions are required to be nested. If there are too many levels of nesting, not only will it be troublesome to write, but it will also be quite cumbersome to troubleshoot later. In contrast, IFS displays multiple conditions side by side, with a grammatical structure similar to "IFS(condition 1, result, condition 2, result, condition 3, result, ...)", which can support up to 127 different conditions. It can be regarded as a hang for the IF function. In fact, these functions have appeared in Office 365 before, but Office 2016 has not been able to enjoy them. With these functions, your office efficiency will be multiplied with half the effort. 3. Insert icon online We often use some icons when making PPT. Most of the icons are simple in structure and strong in communication, but they are not easy to find. The latest version of Office 2019 adds the online icon insertion function, allowing us to insert icons with one click like inserting pictures. Judging from the trial situation, the online icon library of Office 2019 is quite rich, divided into "character", "technology and electronics", "communication", "business", "analysis", "commerce", "education"...etc. Dozens of categories. The most important thing is that all icons can be directly changed with the help of the PowerPoint coloring function, and even divided and filled in items! 4. Immersive learning mode Word 2019 adds an "immersive learning mode" under the "View" panel, which can make the file more readable by adjusting page color, text spacing, page width, etc. At the same time, this function also integrates the voice conversion technology of Win10, and the content of the file is directly read aloud by Microsoft "Narrator", which greatly improves the efficiency of learning and reading. 5. "Horizontal" page turning like a book Similar to the previous "Reading View", Office 2019 has added a "landscape" page turning mode this time. After ticking the "turn page" button, the Word page will automatically turn into a left-right page-turning similar to a book. This is obviously an improvement made to improve the tablet user experience. 6. Dual-screen display compatibility improvements In the options panel of Office 2019, you will see a newly added "multi-monitor display optimization" feature. Many people now have two monitors on their desktops, or connect their laptops to one desktop monitor. Normally, when we move an Office window from a high-resolution monitor to a low-resolution monitor, Microsoft automatically uses a technology called "Dynamic Scaling DPI" to ensure that the window remains the right size across monitors. . But if you have some old controls embedded in your document, it may be too large or too small anomalies when moving. With this option, this feature can be turned off by switching to "Optimize for Compatibility". 8. Increase ink writing PowerPoint 2019 has added inking capabilities, you can freely use pens, color blocks, etc., to doodle on the slides. The software has built-in various brushes, and also allows users to adjust the color and thickness of the brushes. In addition to scribbling on existing images, users can even convert ink directly into shapes for later editing.