#may kurt rest in peace

[p1ut0mars]

[adamshallperish]

i'm gonna say it. kurt cobain in a dress did far more for society as a whole than harry styles ever will.

[sirenjose]

Characters' Wishing Stars

(Updated to include every character's wish, then added more thoughts about more of the other wishes. Thoughts on Norton's/Fool's Gold's and Jose's are at the end)

Part 1 - Wishing Stars

Survivors

Lucky: I wish for good fortune for everyone! May the lucky star bless all!

Emily: May all be endowed with wellness and joy. May sickness be but a distant shadow in this world.

Freddy: I've made some mistakes, Martha, but I've never regretted loving you.

Kreacher: Set adrift toward the yonder, and let everyone know: Kreacher's ambitions shall be made manifest! Mark my words!

Emma: Father, Mother, are you well? Do you, too, gaze up at the stars this evening?

Servais: I wish to one day stand on the grandest stage of magic! That day will surely come.

Kurt: To live in this beautiful world is a blessing, and in the future, I hope to pursue adventures in higher, farther, and grander realms!

Naib: Will this lantern reach the rivers of my homeland? If so, I wish for it to tell her I'm doing well.

Martha: May each soul find sanctuary, never to lose oneself, never to drift astray.

Tracy: Changing the world might be too lofty an ideal, but I at least want to invent things that bring happiness to more people!

William: Someday, I will be acknowledged! Victory is the domain of the brave-those who defy adversity!

Helena: The night sky must be beautiful, just as it is in my imagination. If possible, I'd like to see this wonderful world with my own eyes someday.

Fiona: Mother, do you see? I've taken another step closer to the truth of this world.

Vera: Vera, I wish you well. It was all worth it.

Kevin: They say the departed become stars.. Even now, I still remain shamefully illuminated by your light.

Margaretha: In the not-too-distant future, there will surely be a stage as brilliant as this starry sky meant solely for me. This is my wish.

Eli: Stars, rivers, flowers. This is a beautiful dream I never anticipated, so please let this dream last a little longer.

Aesop: May this lantern find tranquil shores, as may I.

Norton: I want to live a better life.

Patricia: May fate judge all wrongdoing.

Murro: Well-being to all! I hope someone, somewhere, will remember Murro.

Mike: I wish to bring joy to more people and help everyone forget their troubles!

Jose: May all my loved ones embark on their own journeys, and may lighthouses guide them to safe harbors.

Demi: Brother, are you well? Are you admiring this starry sky too?

Victor: To whoever sees my letter and lantern, know that Victor wishes you eternal happiness.

Andrew: Though I cannot gaze directly upon the sun, this eve, I've beheld the most resplendent darkness. I am grateful for this night and for those who accompany me.

Luca: Those who march toward science and truth will not regret it. One day, I will prove everything.

Melly: What a beautiful night. I hope all those little lives be cherished, as they rest beneath the grass and leaves.

Edgar: The shifting starry sky hides endless beauty and mystery, and we mortals, mere chroniclers of this splendor, stand and gaze, as do I.

Ganji: I wish the people of my hometown healthy and prosperous. At least, tonight, I'm looking at the same sky as you.

Annie: May every child grow in peace and happiness. May every little toy cradle your grandest dreams.

Emil: I often forget the past, but from now on, every day shall brim with bliss. I wish that everyone could remember only happiness.

Ada: I wish for Emil's good health. May we all cherish the present and the love of others.

Orpheus: Fate pens the finest tales, so I hope everyone's story holds fewer regrets, twists, and at least, more favorable conclusions.

Memory: The stars are exceptionally beautiful tonight! I also wish to be a kind, loving person who brings happiness to everyone.

Weeping Clown: One day, when the audience watches Joker, they, too, will wear a genuine, satisfied smile.

Professor: I don't have any wishes, save for this lantern to journey far, far away.

Qi: May old companions fare well.

Frederick: The night always brings to mind fragments of the past and chaotic whispers, yet from such whispers, countless great inspirations arise.

Alice: Alice, follow the path you believe to be true, for earnest living begets serendipity.

Charles: Stars, please tell me - should I hold on a little longer?

Lily: I shall alter all through sheer endeavor, Simon.

Matthias: Will the moonlight shine on me… on Matthias?

Florian: The bright yet warmthless stars evoke memories of childhood Christmases.

Evelyn: Are you still searching for your destination.

Hunters

Leo: Lisa, may you grow up healthy and safe.

Joker: Come on! I wish for everyone to share in the madness and mirth with me!

Jack: Should I wish for clarity, or pray to forever bask in this enchanting night…

Bane: May no creature suffer harm. May the heart of humanity awaken to conscience.

Violetta: Oh, beautiful stars… I wish everyone well! I hope… I hope everyone can be loved.

Michiko: Love is bittersweet, and time ticks on without a care. Gazing at the moon always brings to mind those no longer with us.

Hastur: (There is no writing on the wishing star, but it shows signs of having been soaked in water.)

Wu Chang: May you be well, may the years be kind, and may lovers remain together in love.

Joseph: Does moonlight hold the power to turn back time? If such a thing were true, I'd wish to return to the time when you were still here.

Burke: It's too late for me to start making any wishes. But if everyone else is safe and happy, this old soul can rest easy.

Yidhra: (The wishing star is blank, but a fierce night wind blows upon beholding it.)

Robbie: I want a songbird that can fly to where my parents are and sing to them.

Luchino: Rather than making wishes, I believe humanity ought to strive for advancement through diligence.

Mary: The illusion of opulence has been shattered. Given another beginning, I'd choose to be the master of my destiny.

Bonbon: It's been a pleasure knowing you! Bonbon!

Ann: I'm lucky to have found a purpose in life. I hope everyone's kindness and faith will not be in vain.

Antonio: My violin bow, please play the most exquisite, unbound melodies.

Galatea: Stars above, please grant me more inspiration and opportunities to create beautiful works.

Percy: (The wishing star is unmarked, save for traces of motor oil, resembling a moon perhaps?)

Polun: We want money! Wealth! Fame! Of course, we want our dear father and mother too!

Grace: I wish for no one to be lonely. I wish that you could all be happy. As for me, I can't think of any wishes.

Philippe: If my sister and I could gaze at this starry sky together, my wish would be fulfilled.

Nightmare: Congratulations, you've glimpsed the writings of the "Nightmare" in this wondrous dream!

Keigan: I wish for this world to have more justice and rationality. That should be enough.

Alva: May more forsake the folly of human nature and choose to approach the truth.

Ithaqua: Mother, if possible, I wish to at least dream of those moments in the woods and snow at night.

Sangria: Burn once more, for I still seek to prove my worth.

Fool's Gold: I've already dug my way out of fate's mine. Haven't I?

Ivy: (The paper is scribbled with 2 little girls holding a wishing star lantern together.)

Part 2 - Thoughts

In general, all of them are pretty good and I definitely think helps paint a better picture of each character, who they are deep down, and what their priority/goal is.

Quite a few few of them though are fairly sad, including (to me) Freddy, Naib, Helena, Kevin, Murro, Ganji, Charles, Violetta, Joseph, Burke, Robbie, Philip, Ithaqua, Fool's Gold, and Ivy. I have to say, the ones that made me feel the worst were Kevin and Burke (especially the latter. Can you not make me feel like I wanna cry?).

Freddy's I quite like as I think it tells a lot about him. He admits he's not perfect, he admits even things he did weren't right, but for good or ill he still loves Martha Remington. To me, it's that admission of his mistakes I like the most.

Naib and Ganji both simply wishing to be home, with their families, but because they can't they just wish that their loved ones are happy and sufficiently taken care of. Despite how they may be depicted in their games, they both have a lot of sorrow in their heart and have been through quite the ordeals, all while being far from home and any chance to return is slim or difficult to acquire. Everything they do matters little compared to their longing to return home and move past all this.

Helena's wish I to see the world one day, for obvious reasons, is quite sad considering how she lost her eyesight when she was young. As a result, she can only imagine and dream of seeing the sky. The fact there's little chance she'll regain her sight somehow (unless something happens in the future) is what makes this line hurt the most.

Murro's wish is only for someone to remember him, which honestly is quite the implication of how he feels about himself and how he thinks others' feel about him. He's been through so much, losing his parents, then his ill treatment and abuse while he was kept by Bernard, to the point he simply wanted to get away from people and just be with his partner. It's that feeling he's given up hope, and the idea that this is all he thinks he's capable of hoping for... It's like he already thinks he has no future and nothing much to look forward to.

Wishes of people like Charles, Robbie, Joseph, Philip, Ithaqua, and Ivy are focused on the loss of those close to them, some of which are consumed by the guilt at their role in that loss or inability to prevent their death. Joseph especially has devoted the rest of his life to attempting to revive Claude, and has been incapable of ever having a single moment where he isn't thinking about his twin. It makes me think about what Michiko said regarding the bittersweetness of love, and how time marches on whether or not those we love are left behind. The important question being whether a person is capable of moving forward or will be stuck looking back, which is the whole theme with Orpheus.

Violetta's wish hurts me due to me reading into her line and feeling like she's referring to herself. And the idea that she's wishing there was someone out there who will love her, as her being abandoned by her parents, taken by Max who treated her like an object to attract attention to his freak show and earn him money, but once she no longer did, he disposed of her, leaving Violetta feeling unwanted. Despite what she's been through, she is still a kind and positive person, but even she has moments where she can't help but let slip hints about her true feelings.

Kevin of course has been and still is a very sad boy. He, like Joseph, has his thoughts forever stuck on the loved ones he lost. He is incapable of moving past Angelina's death, further compounded by his guilt regarding Angelina's father and the tribe. He is trapped by his guilt. It's the fact that Kevin refuses to forgive himself, blaming himself for everything that has happened, is why Kevin's wish hurts me so much.

Burke... I don't even know what to say. This was the 1 that I think hurt the most for a bunch of reasons that I don't quite know how to put to words. Netease, please stop trying to make me cry.

As for other wishes that caught my attention:

Mike's simple wish to bring joy to people and help them forget their troubles was curious, as I think it really helps give a better idea about him, considering he's someone I sometimes find tricky to figure out. His deductions depict him as pretty mischievious, especially with things like using rocks or nitrogen in his tricks. But then we get to the tragedy, and all we don't really get any more ... good descriptions from Mike himself as to how he is internally. Except for hints based on how he went to the morgue to confirm who was dead and who was missing. And then with his suspicion of (and disgust for) Margaretha, as well as Joker. His last deduction and backstory really emphasize that his singular goal is essentially revenge. Yet we learn in through the letters that he was unable to do so even when he's given the chance. This is why I at least personally appreciate this little detail about his interest in people's happiness and desire to fix all their problems. It helps put everything else in better perspective.

Vera's was mainly due to how she says it was "all worth it". This seems to confirm how she feels about her actions, despite the sorrow she describes in her 1st letter due to her own actions, and despite the reality of what she did. She continues to reason with herself that, despite the cost, it all worked out in the end. It could show just how broken she's become due to how she grew up due to her father and everyone looking down on her and treating her the way they did. It could show just how hard her heart has become as a result. But it's also possible to read this line as trying to convince herself to not regret. To not dwell on what she's done. To try to tell herself that it's ok, it's ok, it's ok. If this is true, whether or not she actually fully believes this attempt to reason with herself is a separate question.

Margaretha's further confirms the type of person she's in and the life she's interested in. She's still interested in luxury, she's still a bit vain, just like her personality info in-game states. However, what I was focused on was how she talks about having a stage "solely for me". This to me reads as she wants to be able to move forward and survive on her own without having to rely on others, like she did previously with Sergei, or how she's "exploiting" Joker. Which I think is a good development on her part, as I think it shows growth. It's something that may take time, but she's expressing determination to achieve this goal.

Martha was primarily of interest to me as, similar to Violetta, I read it as she was essentially referring to herself. It's a lament over the fact she has no place she sees as "home", and she doesn't even know who she is anymore. She's taken on too many identities, and gone through so much that she isn't sure who is the real her or if even if she does remember if it'll actually feel right to her anymore. She's lost and doesn't know how to find her way back on to the path. Her wish is a warning to others the way I see it, which is imporant considering what we learn happened with her in her game.

Sangria's I find curious as I never really thought about her like that, the idea that she wants to "prove [her] worth". It can make sense considering her backstory and deductions emphasize how badly she was treated by her father and the fact she was viewed as "less than a toy", as well as make sense based on whatever happened between her and the lady to cause Sangria to later ask to "get back on stage". I feel like this wish could potentially help understand some of what happens with her in her game...

Then there's Nightmare. Which to me feels... the strangest and almost out of place of any of the wishes. I'm still not quite sure about the real meaning behind it yet but it does make me think...

On that same tangent, I'll go to Orpheus next. Similarly, his line is quite interesting and will take me some time to really digest. The fact he speaks of wanting to reduce other people's regrets and give them "more favorable conclusions" to me is strange. Some of the stories he writes don't exactly feel like he's trying to give the people it's based on better "conclusions", nor does it feel like he's doing that with the participants of each of his games. Though looking at a different place, what he seems to be doing to Kevin in his 4th letter does feel like he's trying to manipulate Kevin's memories to make him think Angelina isn't dead. The entire truth of the goal of Orpheus' experiments and actions is still something I don't think we fully grasp yet. It's possible more is happening to the participants than we know (especially with how of them, or at least their bodies, are missing, and I still wonder about Yidhra's and Joseph's involvements, considering the Dreamlands or Joseph's photo world could potentially present Orpheus an opportunity to maybe give individuals a happier story if they are trapped there, especially with the memory drugs, but I'm still unsure about so much...).

Norton's wish is such a great but simple enough summary for his character. He's not asking to be rich. He's not asking for gold despite that's what he searched for in Golden Cave. He's not asking for anything in particular. All Norton cares about is having a "better" life. Something more than being trapped in poverty, with a job that could kill him at any time, and especially over time the longer he has it. He wants to not have to worry about starving all the time, or worry if he'll have a place to shelter for the night, or worry about cruel coworkers or employers, any other necessities he needs. We've seen that he isn't asking for anything fancy. He eats simple bread, and spends what little spare money he has on books and knowledge. He just wants enough so he'll never have to worry about going back to that life again.

Which is interesting when considering Fool's Gold's wish: "I've already dug my way out of fate's mine. Haven't I?". This to me sounds like he's trying to convince himself. He's desperately hoping he's finally escaped the mine, which he describes as "fate's" mine. This referencing his "fate" as a miner due to his father also being a miner. The fact he describes it as how he "dug my way out" is a way of showing how he's done everything himself. He was the one who's fought tooth and nail to get out of his situation, who's spent all his blood, sweat, and tears to originally just work hard enough to earn what he can, and then when that didnt work find another way, and when he was trapped in Golden Cave, how he literally dug his way out (which shows how badly he wants to live). "Fate" being a "mine" also has the symbolism of Norton originally seeing his fate as somethin dark, made by someone else who forced him into it, a place with little room to move full of many dangers, surrounded by many people who either treated him badly or only cared for themselves, and the only path forward led further and further down. This was why Norton wants to escape his fate, and why he's been so desperate to do anything he can if it means a way out. He wants a brighter fate, one not trapped underground, but a fate out in the open world where the sky is the limit. Unfortunately though, as we can see from the ending of Fool's Gold's wish, Norton isn't entirely convinced he's completely escaped his fate. Which is curious and I wish I could see the reasoning behind his thoughts. Is it because he's afraid he'll be caught for what he did? Is it because he's afraid he'll have to go back to the mine if he is unable to find any other way of making a living? Is it because of whatever happened while he was trapped in the mind that he's continuously referenced but never explained, that's lead to him being so deathly afraid of the place? Or does it have something to do with his current situation with Orpheus and whatever the order was in his 2nd letter? Considering this is the 2nd time we've seen Norton trying to convince himself but failing to do so completely by the end (the 1st time being in Norton's 2nd letter where he tries to convince himself to go through with the assassination order), I wonder if it's possible these 2 things could be related. Maybe he feels like or is starting to feel like his current situation is not any better than it was before when he was still a miner, or when he was trapped in Golden Cave. Which is curious as that seems to reinforce how we can't be completely sure what Norton will do in the final game, or what the full truth of his relationship with Orpheus, Alice, and the others is. It's also interesting this line comes from Fool's Gold, who also appeared in Norton's backstory trailer, before he causes Golden Cave to collapse. He's holding his head, and seemingly fighting with himself over whether he should do it or not. Hunter Norton seems to be a way of showing Norton's internal dilemma, his war with himself, with how Hunter Norton is likely symbolized in Norton's 2nd letter, and now again here when Norton's trying to convince himself that he's escaped his fate. But unlike the 1st time in the mine when Hunter Norton managed to win out and cause the mine collapse, these other 2 times haven't ended with a certain winner, which could show how Norton's changed or how he may not be willing to do the same thing again. But maybe I'm thinking too hard.

As for Jose, I wish I could understand him better. Despite how his father treated him, despite how he only cared about fame and fortune, despite how he was only ever concerned about looking good for the Queen and everyone he deemed important, Jose still wishes his "loved ones" to stay safe essentially. Who that would be besides his family I'm not sure. We never learn about his mother, and there's really no one else that could be outside of maybe some people he was friends with, though he specifically says "loved ones". We don't know if he was friendly with those on his crew, though we know at least some were of the same type of person as Jose's father based on Jose's deduction 7, while others died either when Jose's father vanished or during deduction 4. We now know he's tied in some way to Sam Bourbon but not the specifics of that relationship (how friendly were they?). Therefore, it's most likely he's referring to his father here. I wish I knew more about Jose's feelings and relationship with his father, considering deduction 7 and 8, as well as other bits don't exactly make Joaquin out to be a good person or see his son as anything but an object. But it's possible it was because Jose's father was the only family he ever had, and he simply wished he could've stopped him from doing what Jose didn't agree with and/or helped change him for the better.

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮?

summary: y/n didn't fell well in the last year... and she probably never will feel herself well again. word count: 2.832k trigger warning: SUICIDE, SELF-HARM (really, don't read it if it trigger you please please please), psych ward, signs of mental illnesses, heartbreak, hallucinating, screaming, farewell letter

count your fingers. breathe in, breathe out.

"are you doing this again?"

y/n sat on her bed, smoking a cigarette as she read the newest tabloids. others were watching tv in the lodge, but she preferred to out out some titles and interesting articles. the date stated 1995, may 3rd.

"you are no longer in the newspaper. they're dumb, never writing anything in these papers, fuckers."

scratching her neck, her nail broke at the end. it was weak ever since she got here, sleeping and eating was difficult also.

"but they were true about me."

she looked at him, pulling her knees to herself.

"fuck you, they weren't."

kurt sat at the leg of the bed, now the closest ever. he always stood at the door, sat by the window, or sat on the ground, facing her.

just keep counting. six, seven, eight...

"you look like you need a rest, love. dark circles doesn't fit you."

something constantly buzzed in her mind, like a radio band is always on, even if there's no music and no jokes. or the tv in the lodge at 2am, no shows were playing, she always talked with kurt at night, until the nurses didn't guide her back to her room. she was alone here, at peace, doing what she liked to do --writing her diary, reading books, painting her nails. he wanted to paint kurt's too, but he never came close to her, never let her touch him. he was distant, but in a comforting way.

"who do i need to look beauty for?" y/n asked, exhaling the smoke. kurt smiled, pointing at himself.

"for me."

"yeah, of course."

take your medicine. place a pill on your tongue, then swallow it down with a gulp of water.

the next dose of pills were laying on the plate, waiting for her to take them with a cup of water. they trusted her enough to take it alone, since she almost scratched her wrists from freaking out too many times. the clock on her nightstand ringed, it was time.

"you know i'll never disappear, even if you take those?" kurt laid back on her bed, reaching his hand to the ceiling.

brushing her hair, y/n turned away her head from him. she didn't want to hear this, and to turn to her sane sense.

"if you live only in my head, why can't i just make you go away?" she whispered, her eyes lingering on the lace of the curtain, forming an angel and a bunny.

"because you don't want to let me go."

looking at him again, the buzzing was so intense and it wasn't pleasuring. the voice wanted to tell her something, but it never could. it was a void. she was a void.

am i telling this to myself too? y/n felt tired, picking a pill, popping into her mouth. she ate more pills than actual meals, in the first two months, it was strange to even eat after only living on little pieces of medicine for so long. she looked at kurt, he was still here. ten more minutes and he'll be gone, but the pills only made her tired, they never sent him truly away. or, maybe it was easy to crawl into her mind. laying down, she used her boney arm as an extra pillow, dragging the comforter up on her body.

"when i wake up, piss off."

"can't promise, princess." kurt said, leaning on his elbow as he saw her closing her eyes.

days went like this --waking up before 10am, taking pills, skipping breakfast because the pills always caused her nausea, playing and talking with the others in the psych ward, talking with her own psychiatrist, eating lunch, taking pills, resting in the afternoon, reading the tabloids every wednesday, watching the telly or reading a book before dinner, and then, taking the day's last pills, and then sleeping all night, but she often woke up, sometimes two or three times even.

a knock woke her up from her deep slumber, making her shake. looking around, kurt was not around anymore --at least he kept his poor promise. a nurse, dorothy was standing in the door.

"good afternoon, y/n. you have a visitor."

it was strange. she broke her connections with most people, only dave and christ knew that y/n was still in here.

"who?" she asked, getting up to put on her shoes.

"his name is dave grohl. do you know him?" dorothy asked, making her nod. standing up, y/n went out on the door, seeing dave. walking up to him, dave smiled at her, but it was something uncertain in his eyes. y/n gave up for caring about other's feelings a couple months ago, since she couldn't even deal with hers.

"hello, angel! how are you?" he asked in the sound like you ask from a child, hugging her lightly.

"totally fine." really, she was in a psych ward almost a year from now on, what could she say?

"can we go for a walk? that girl... maybe dorothy? said that we can go for a little walk, i want to know what's going on with you."

stepping outside, y/n breathed fresh air only when she opened her window, and went for a short trip with the others once in three months. the air was calming, and the sun didn't shine too bright, flowers grow on the edge of the sidewalk. dave was so strange, like he also lived in her mind. but he doesn't have to know about that.

"so, what's up? hanging around, uhm..." he wanted to continue, but y/n looked at him.

"chill, dave. i know this place is a horror house. i'm pretty fine, dealing with my things and stuff... and you?"

"i'm fine also. me and jennifer talked about having kids, but i'm not feeling the time yet."

"i felt that." she and kurt had frances, y/n loved her as her own daughter, even if that crazy woman courtney fretted her for being in the baby's presence.

"i have some pictures about bean, do you wanna see them? courtney was against it, but... i thought you'd like."

"that's really nice from you, dave."

seeing the pictures, she felt like the whole universe laughed at her. the buzzing started again, she tried to smile. "how big she is!"

"yeah, well, she is just like her fath-"

dave suddenly silenced. because everybody knew. everybody knew that y/n got in here because kurt died, her mind couldn't comprehend the fact, and she began to see him. she began to hallucinate, and most of the time, she just laid on her bed and looked at the ceiling, not eating, not drinking. if she wasn't crying or screaming, she was sleeping or just being like a sack of potato. the most miserable sack of potato. almost a year, and she didn't even made the smallest progress. she clearly, medically went crazy because of her lover's death.

"look, y/n... me, jen, chris and his wife is going on a trip... you should come too. it's much warmer there in california, you could loose up a little bit, don't you?"

y/n scratched her arms, looking at the stop sign at the end of the road.

"it's a really nice idea, dave. thank you. it's just... what if kurt-"

"what? what about kurt?" dave asked, getting angry. "sorry, but what fucking about him?"

"nothing, just... nothing, really, i just don't want to go."

"because of him? y/n, i don't want to be mean, but did you look at yourself? his death caused all of us pain, but you literally got sick from it."

"what about me? what about me, what about me?" she yelled. "don't say that he's dead, because i fucking see him everyday, and i'm not gonna let it slip!"

"do you see him right now, huh? do you see him? because if yes, then you are just the same as those girls who get shocked to be normal just a little bit!"

"and what if i saw him? what if i saw him and he just could see that how big of a cock your are, fuck you, dave!"

he laughed like he doesn't believed what he just heard.

"here we fucking are again, y/n! because i'm a good friend of yours, i'm gonna tell you that nobody fucking sees him, nobody who's normal! i thought that it's just some aftermath of your depression, but..."

"but what? i am crazy? i am compulsive? i am fucking hopeless? because you know, every fucking day was a menace since things got fucked up!"

"no, you are fucking worse than you were when he died!" dave screamed, trying to reach for her arm to get her back to the psych ward, but y/n clawed at him like a cat, while from the tip of her throat, an enormous shriek came from her, and then y/n just snapped.

"HE MAY BE DEAD! AND EVEN IF HE IS, I WISH I COULD DIE EVERY DAY JUST TO FREE MYSELF FROM ALL OF THIS VOID!" her vocal cords almost teared up as she screamed, crouching on the ground, holding her head. this was the end, the waves crashed above her head, the endless sea of her depression caged her in.

like a switch finally turned down, y/n tried to collect her breath, but it didn't helped. she went too deep, and the last breath of hope was sucked out from her.

"are you okay? y/n, fuck, are you alright?" dave asked her. y/n stood up, brushing her hair from her face.

"yes, i think everything's okay." she felt her own voice static, but it didn't matter.

"okay, then... shall we go back? you must be tired."

"yeah. let's go back."

dave didn't even know that he saw her the last time alive.

"i hope you get a little rest. i think it wasn't a good idea to come, but... i care about you. we all do." he said inside, y/n pulled up the muscles of her lips.

"it's okay. it was good to see you, dave." giving him a hug, it lasted a little bit too long, but he wanted too, so it wasn't a problem. she just wanted to feel loved after so long.

"see you later, y/n."

"yeah, see you too, dave!" she waved to him from the window, dave got out his camera from his car.

"do this again! wave and say, 'hi everybody!'"

"hi, goodbye, good morning, good afternoon everybody!" she sang while faning with her hand, smiling. dave waved to her the last time, then he got in his car, riding away.

do kurt miss christ and dave just as she?

1am. 1995, may 4th.

not a soul walked on the hallways of the ward. it was peaceful, only the small droplets from the fountain harmed the silence. only one bathtub, filled with water, a hand hanging on the side of the white porcelain. little curls of steam floating in the air.

"are you sure about that?"

he was here again, with her. kurt leaned on the brim of the tub, looking at y/n as she collected the pills. she's gonna swallow all of it, with two gulps of water, and then... she didn't know what's going after this, but she couldn't handle it any longer. life was too heavy, she felt it on her shoulders, her spine, her head, it crawled it's weight into her guts from day to day, a new day, a new weight.

looking at him, she stopped in her movements.

"did it hurt?"

kurt only smiled at that, saccharine in his smile.

"did life hurt?"

"only when you weren't there." she replied, then, placing the first dose of pills into her hand. "i wrote a letter. i hope they find it. and i hope i'll find you."

because she hoped, really. she had hope, not for life, but for him. she felt dumb every time she saw lame romance movies about people can't live without each other, but it turned out that it was true. she literally died without him, and air got much more suffocating.

looking at the pills, she looked up to the cross on the wall in front of her. so this is the end.

"i'll look for you, kurt. i love you." she said, not even paying attention to the fact if he was there or not, even if he just lived in her head. downing the pills, chug, another doze of pills, chug. just a couple of minutes, and no days will be spent with agony and crying, screaming, watching shitty movies, trying to live.

somehow, it was comforting to her.

laying back in the warm water, she saw kurt coming closer to her. her vision began to get blurry, and she felt stomach churn, her heart and liver exploding, but it was only a little pain. her lover bend over her, and maybe he touched her, kissing her forehead, but she didn't felt it. there was no movie in front of her eyes, playing her whole life, there weren't any so special things from books the writers always talked about. it was just laying down and resting for awhile.

in her last moments, she felt nothing else but warmth.

dear everybody, or anybody who finds this,

i never wasted too much words about anything. maybe i should have done, but i'm not gonna change this, so please, don't judge me. it's rude to judge dead people anyway.

everyone who thinks that my actions is in connection with kurt, they're right. i don't want to brag about my mental state, let's just say, i didn't feel well in the last couple of months. people around you change you, taking you to a ride, and i guess that i wasn't ready for the end of the ride. in the end, i only want you to remember that how wonderful and gentle, unique and perfect creatures we are. i loved myself, always, i just didn't love the way i felt.

some words to the people, because i was too much of a scaredy-cat to talk with them in the last rounds: dave and chris. you two are truly wonderful, the best guys i could ever imagine. i'm sorry that you have to get to know about this in a letter, but please, never let kurt's memory die, and maybe, don't even let mine. i didn't do a lot of good things in my life, but i loved. i loved and cared, and maybe that can be valuable even for you. courtney, i know we've never been good friends, but maybe, we never could be. i just want to wish you strength and courage for the rest of your life, i've never invalidated your feelings. maybe i felt just like you, excluding the fact that i don't have a lovely supergirl. frances bean, you little star; you won't remember me, but i'll remember you. you are the most fantastic girl i've ever known, and you'll gonna rock the world, just like your father did.

i don't want you to be sad. i wasn't sad, just a little crazy. living our lives without our loved ones claims us to be strong and brave, but i'm not enough brave for it. you're gonna do it instead of me, and my gratitude will chase you forever.

never forget to love and care! i did the same.

y/n y/l/n

she opened her eyes, sun shining through her eyelids. where the hell she was? feeling something soft under her touch; she laid on sand. little rocks pressed into her palms as she sat up. she didn't know where she was, and she wasn't even certain if she did what she did. coming to her senses, the waves crashed in the ocean only a few foot apart from her. washing the shore, it almost get wet her too. it was peaceful and unusual.

but she was not the only one sitting on the beach.

a figure, 60 feet from her sat just like her in silence, looking at the ocean and the dawning sun. could it be...

standing up, she was unsure in her steps, but somehow, she managed to go closer. it was him. instead of screaming and jumping, she simply crouched beside kurt, looking at him, so she was sure that it's really him. the wind blew his hair, his lips surely were salty from the air. brushing through his hair at the back of his neck, the blonde curls felt like silk. he was an angel.

without saying a word, y/n leaned her head on his shoulder. she could touch him now, watching as the sun bleed through the sky. she felt something warm in her chest–

–sure it wasn't reality. but it didn't even needed to be.

a/n: this is my first oneshot in this genre, and to be honest... i don't want to write more. i just had a very depressed couple of weeks, and this just came into my mind. i won't write fics like this, it turned out that i like domestic comfort and fluff more. if you liked it, or want to request, write in the comments, dm me or write here

stay safe, love yourself girliez,

louisa

[cryscendo]

Kurtbastian + a kiss to prove you don’t have feelings for them 👀

(except we all know it's a lie there's totally feelings there)

i saw this prompt and my mind starting thinking about the potential of dalton era kurtbastian……. i MAY have gotten a little carried away with it, but i hope you love it <3

Pairing: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe (+ platonic Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson)

Word Count: 1599

Rating: T

if you would like to send me a prompt, check out the prompt list here!

fic can be read under the cut <3

“God, he’s the worst, isn’t he?” Kurt muttered in mild irritation. He and Blaine were sitting in one of Dalton’s many study rooms, going over their… English homework? Or was it History? Well, considering they were discussing The Grapes of Wrath, he supposed it could be either. But it didn’t matter, because he could hardly focus on the assignment in front of him anyway.

“Oh, c’mon Kurt, he’s not that bad,” Blaine argued and it was in one of those moments that Kurt greatly questioned his friend’s sanity.

“Are you kidding? We’re talking about the same guy here, right?”

Blaine laughed, nodding. “Yes, we’re both talking about Sebastian,” he replied and even the guy’s name alone put Kurt on edge. Kurt’s transfer to Dalton had been generally pretty breezy. For the most part, the guys here were kind and accepting. Apparently Dalton Academy was serious about their ‘zero tolerance policy’.

But then there was Sebastian, who stood to be an outlier in terms of Kurt maintaining his peace. He was insufferable, to say the least. And it’s made so much worse given that he has chosen to target Kurt specifically. Kurt wasn’t sure if it was because he was the new kid or what, but Sebastian seemed to go out of his way to irritate Kurt. It wasn’t like he felt threatened by Sebastian, — this was hardly a Dave Karofsky situation — but he could most definitely attest that Sebastian was a consistent annoyance.

“I just don’t get how you can tolerate him,” Kurt went on, and Blaine rested his chin in his hand, listening patiently to Kurt’s rant with an amused grin. “Ever since I transferred here, he’s been antagonizing me. Like doesn’t he have anything better to do than exist like a gnat in my ear?”

Kurt could see it clear as day in Blaine’s poorly suppressed grin; he had something that he clearly wanted to say, but just wasn’t. Well, Kurt wasn’t really all too fond of being out of the loop, so to speak.

Kurt gave Blaine a look of suspicion. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Blaine replied, attempting to disguise his expression by taking a sip of his coffee.

Kurt wasn’t buying it, though. “No, what’s so funny? Is there some joke I’m not in on?”

Blaine paused for a moment, contemplating speaking up again. Finally, though, he sets his coffee cup back down on the table and holds his hands out in front of himself defensively. As if Kurt is some kind of threat. “Okay, if I say this, you can’t bite my head off about it. That fair?”

Well, Kurt didn’t exactly love the implications of that. But he liked being in the dark about things even less, so with some reservations, he released a sigh and shrugged. “Fine. What’s such a big deal that you don’t wanna say it? I promise I’ll be nice.”

“Well, I just noticed that any time you like a guy, you start talking about him a lot. I mean, that’s how you were with that Sam guy from your old school.” Kurt felt heat rise to his cheeks at Blaine’s accusation. He wanted to protest because he didn’t really think he had talked about Sam that much, but he decided to keep his mouth shut as Blaine continued. “And, y’know, you do talk about Sebastian an awful lot so could it be possible that you maybe have a bit of a… crush on him?”

That… truly stunned Kurt. What was Blaine thinking? Sure, he talked about Sebastian a lot but it wasn’t like that. His friend has really, truly gone off the deep end. “Are you serious?”

“Hey, I’m just thinking aloud here! I could be completely wrong, I get that. But you have to admit that he does stay on your mind a lot.”

“I can’t believe you would even suggest something like that,” Kurt responded in disbelief. “I have not, nor would I ever, have a crush on him.”

“A crush oh who, Kurt?” A voice that Kurt is unfortunately painfully familiar with cut in. Kurt and Blaine both turned towards the doorway to find Sebastian standing there, snarky expression and all. Then, with complete and utter audacity, he came in and sat down in one of the empty seats at Kurt and Blaine’s table.

“Nobody,” Kurt said immediately. He really did not need Sebastian to be here right now. Of all the examples of the worst possible timing, this has got to be a top contender in the ranking. “Nobody worth mentioning, anyway.”

“Oh c’mon, Hummel, I don’t believe that. Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Don’t you have a line of grown men on Facebook offering to be your sugar daddy for the low, low price of one sad handjob a week and no less than five weekly texts offering them ‘the boyfriend experience’? You must be far too busy to be spending your time here with us.”

“Ah, unfortunately, they couldn’t meet my rates,” Sebastian countered Kurt’s insult easily, letting the words roll off him without care. “But hey, no worries, I gave them your information. I know you could use the money. DaddyDom69 seemed particularly interested.”

“What are you doing here, Sebastian?” Kurt questioned, unimpressed.

“Well, I was here to visit with my old pal, Blaine, but then I heard that the great Kurt Hummel has a crush and realized I had to get more details on that! So, who is he?”

It was then that Kurt looked over at Blaine, shooting him a look that was a mixture of apprehension and frustration. Because this was Blaine’s fault. This entire discussion wouldn’t be happening if Blaine hadn’t insinuated that Kurt had a crush.

Apparently, the look that they shared was enough to tip Sebastian off. Either that, or he’s just such a narcissist that he believed that everything revolved around him. Regardless, he lets out a mocking gasp, bringing his hand to his chest as if pretending to be shocked. “Oh my, is it me? Kurt, I’m flattered, you could’ve just said that!”

“Never, not even in your wildest dreams, would I ever have a crush on you. Trust and believe.” Kurt spoke in such a way that he hoped left no room for argument. However, it seems like with Sebastian, there’s always room for argument.

“Yeah? Then prove it,” Sebastian challenged.

“How would I even do that?”

Sebastian’s smirk turned conspiratorial. “Kiss me. If it’s not a crush then nothing would happen, right?”

Immediately, Kurt could sense Blaine’s tension beside him. Blaine knew about Kurt’s history of being kissed in ways that nobody else did. It was sweet that he cared so much, but this was pretty much his fault to begin with.

“You must be joking,” Kurt said after some time.

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

Well he looked like a joke, that’s for sure. But that also wasn’t the question. And sure, he could end this. He could just say that he’s done entertaining this, but wouldn’t that be just the same as admitting guilt?

“Sure, fine, let’s do it.”

“Uh, Kurt,” Blaine began to cut in, “you don’t have to do that. Don’t feel pressured.”

“I don’t.” Well, he does a little bit. But he’s not going to say that. “Like Sebastian said, if it’s not a crush, it’s not like anything would happen anyway.” He scooted his chair closer to Sebastian and briefly caught a glimpse of a guilty looking Blaine out of the corner of his eye. Blaine didn’t need to feel guilty, at the end of the day, this was Kurt’s choice. “So… let’s do it.”

Sebastian readjusted in his chair. “I’m ready when you are, Hummel.”

So the ball was in his court. That’s fine. He could do this. It’s just Sebastian. No big deal. He’s never willingly kissed another man before, but it was fine.

Kurt leaned in, and before he could possibly talk himself out of it, he pressed his mouth to Sebastian’s. He didn’t know what he was doing really, but Sebastian didn’t seem to complain. In fact, he all but leaned into the kiss, carding a hand through Kurt’s hair in an act of unusual tenderness from the boy. It lingered for a bit longer than anticipated and—

Oh shit.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Kurt pulled away from Sebastian, trying not to come off as alarmed. He stood abruptly, and had two pairs of eyes locked on him. Wide, concerned ones from Blaine, and inquisitive, searching ones from Sebastian. God, Kurt hoped he didn’t find whatever he was looking for.

He knew his face must be hot from nerves. That, and the fact that he just found the kiss with Sebastian to be… pleasant? That was not supposed to happen.

Kurt cleared his throat anxiously. “See. Nothing. Just like I said.” He haphazardly picked up his belongings as he continued. “Well, I’d hate to leave so soon, but it’s getting late and my dad’s going to be expecting me for dinner. Bye.”

And with that, he rushed out of the room, not willing to be under the scrutiny of his best friend and his rival any longer.

It wasn’t until later that night when he received a few texts. One of them made his heart skip a beat. The one from Blaine was expected. It was an apology and it read Kurt, I am so sorry that happened. I shouldn’t have said anything, please don’t be mad at me.

But the other text; that one, Kurt could never have anticipated.

From Sebastian: Hey, Kurt. You wouldn’t happen to be doing anything this weekend, are you?

[storiesofteyvat]

My Idiot

Pairing: Wanderer/Scaramouche x Gn! Reader

Warning(s): Version 3.3 Spoilers

A/N; Guess who’s back! The Sumeru updates brought me so much inspiration and the Scara content was absolutely wonderful. I’m just whipped over that guy, and I kinda started paying more attention to Tighnari as well 👀 so you may expect some content for him too. I’m gonna call him Scara in this because it’ll be too complicated by putting *your name for him*, his nickname’ll just be Kuni - Mod Xiao

A gentle breeze flew past the puppet as he laid underneath the shade of a tree with his head resting on his beloved’s thigh. Everything was so.. calm and peaceful, he was so unused to the feelings that he couldn’t even relax. He laid there with his eyes open, mind full of too many thoughts and memories, he could barely even feel his partner’s hands gently stroking his hair.

“What’s on your mind?” y/n murmured, dragging him out of his thoughts with a small grumble. “You seem on edge, love.”

He still wasn’t used to being called that, he couldn’t help but feel something race inside his chest whenever he heard their sweet voice call him such things. “Nothing that concerns you.” Was all he could reply with, turning his head away from them as his cheeks were dusted with a soft pink.

y/n laughed to themselves softly at the sight, rolling their eyes as they poked his cheeks and squished them together. “Oh? Well from the way you’re acting, either you’re about to throw a temper tantrum, or you’re thinking of moi.” They teased, earning a long groan from the wanderer under them.

“Will you quit that out?” Scaramouche grumbled, swatting their hands away from his face. He began to sit up, but they brought him back down with their hands on his shoulders to keep him in place as they laughed. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry, Kuni.” They said, rolling their eyes at his behavior. “Seems like someone’s a bit of a grumpypants today.”

Instead of commenting, Scaramouche simply laid there quietly. Everything was so.. playful. Remembering his past life as a Harbinger, he couldn’t even remember the last time he had been held with such care- much less be in a playful environment. The scowl on his face couldn’t help but soften as he thought to himself just how lucky was to be in this position. After every betrayal, every hurtful comment that’s been thrown his way, he never thought he’d see the day where someone could actually make him feel.. human.

“You’re such an idiot.” He sighed, reaching a hand up to cup their cheek. “You hardly know anything about me yet you’re treating me like you’ve known me your whole life.”

y/n let out a small hum before looking down at him with a warm smile. “Well, I don’t have to know everything about you to love you, do I?” They asked, leaning their head slightly into his hand. “I guess I’m just your big ‘ol idiot.”

Though he blinked for a moment, the puppet let out a kurt laugh as a small smile graced his lips. His grip on their cheek tightened slightly, turning into more of a pinch than caressing, and all he could feel was his smile widening as y/n playfully whined.

“Yeah, my idiot.”

[whooolaanmo]

Happy Birthday in Heaven Kurty 🤍🤍🤍

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen. 🙏🏻

2 years ka na dyan pakita ka sa panaginip kahit man lang naglalaro tayo ng badminton miss na miss na kita Kurt love ka ni Ate ❤️.

Aug. 02, 2023 09:51 am

[p1ut0mars]

MEEEEEE!!!!!

(Not my meme)

[everlasting-evocation]

"Heaven and Free Will" Stone Ocean and the role of Fate in a Predetermined Reality

Stone Ocean (and Slaughterhouse Five) SPOILERS below the cut.

When it comes to Pucci's "Heaven Plan" I've found that it resembles, to some degree, the way in which the Tralfamadorians of Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse Five" view the world. In the minds of these beings, everything is predetermined and they have come to accept this fate, as any attempts to change the course that the universe has set for them would be futile. Life, for the Tralfmadorians, is not a matter of memory, but rather a map of existence, allowing them to view every point throughout their lives, past, present and future, at once. Death doesn't scare them for this reason, as in their minds death only occupies a small sliver of time compared to the rest of life, despite the fact that after death there is nothing. The human experience is viewed through a linear lens, each step towards death existing for a moment before quickly becoming the past, through this limiting world view death is seen as the absolute end rather than a single step in the process of life.

To view ones memory in their entirety offers the opportunity to accept events as they are and to make peace with what is to come. Every Tralfamadorian knows exactly how and when the world is destined to end, but none of them have any desire to make an attempt to prevent it, because that is what has been decided.

Dio's idea of heaven is much the same.

This mindset is balanced upon the belief that after humanity becomes aware of their fate, they will come to terms with and accept the circumstances of their lives as they are without the desire to change their future. One widely accepted phenomena of the human experience is our assumption of free will, which encapsulates the faith that we choose our own destiny through our actions. Our thoughts guide us, but we are offered the choice to either act upon them, or change the course of our reality. To be stripped of our free will is to lose a piece of our humanity and, as a result, to bring about a hopeless resignation. As Vonnegut states in his novel, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference" (Vonnegut, 77.) People may come to terms with their fate, but would this truly be a peaceful shift, or would people only accept their realty because they have no choice? There is a difference between accepting that death is inevitable and realizing that your death, down to the specific date and time has already been decided and there is nothing you can do to change this. It is so painfully human to try and to fail, knowing that your efforts are futile and pushing forward anyway because to accept a seemingly unfair fate means to give in to the will of the universe.

Enrico Pucci himself offers an interesting insight into why his heaven plan would not work nearly as well as he believes. Throughout the series, his hypocrisy becomes evident in his refusal to accept defeat and, in turn, come to terms with the potential idea that his fate is not the same as the plan he has in mind. Coming to terms with death is not easy, even though the process of dying is one of very few shared human experiences. There is certainty in death, and while the time of death may be uncertain, it is unavoidable.

A similar situation plays out in Slaughterhouse Five as Billy Pilgrim relives the events of his life through brief vignettes. There is no true sense of emotion throughout his retelling, only resignation to his fate. He has grown desensitized to the pain and suffering experienced during the war, regarding even the most brutal and violent events with the detached response of "so it goes" completely shrugging off the weight of the world around him. He knows how his story ends and this has no reason to attempt to change or care deeply for the events that unfold around him, knowing that they are all a means to an end.

Of course, in reality there are no aliens or time travel, but these delusions are still a means to escape fate and to rationalize the pain of human suffering. Billy Pilgrim's difficulties with coming to terms with his memories are a direct result of him feeling as though he has been stripped of his free will, trapped in a life where no matter what he does or where he ends up, everything has already been decided and there is nothing he can do to change the course of his life.

So the true question is, what does it mean to be at peace with fate? Is it as simple as numb acceptance or to accept ones destiny would a person need to truly embrace and find happiness in their current life, even with the knowledge of exactly when and how it will come to an end?

As much as I want to answer this question, a part of me genuinely thinks it would be impossible. There are too many factors to consider, alongside personal differences and the question of individuality. There is no true answer to the meaning of life, a question which has been debated for centuries within the field of philosophy. From the mindset of an existentialist, life is what you make of it; however, this viewpoint would completely fall apart without free will.

Maybe fate is as simple as embodying whatever you believe it to be. Some may believe that fate can be changed, while others think that it is predetermined. There's no right or wrong answer and no way to prove one over the other. The truth of existence is as simple or existence as you want it to be, and maybe there is some comfort to be found in that.

[arandombuddhist]

Thoughts : 12th July 2023

I just realized that I never really have written much about STEVE VAI . His PASSION for the craft is exceeded by absolutely NOONE else.

I have no clue how he reached his level of virtuosity. Or rather i do. Steve says he used to PRACTICE for 15 hours a day. What I DONT KNOW is how he had the endurance and discipline for it. And it's insane how he CONTINUES to push the barriers of guitar even at the age of 60.

KURT COBAIN (may he rest in peace) made me wanna play guitar and be a ROCKER . STEVE made me wanna be the BEST.Quite an unlikely duo of sorts I admit. But they're my GODS.

ALWAYS BE COMPASSIONATE

-KRISHNAN

[forabeatofadrum]

aap noot mies (15/15)

Notes: Thank you!

AO3 | S&C

–

EPILOGUE

A few months later

Kurt, Blaine, Burt and Carole land on Schiphol Airport. Kurt’s gripping Blaine’s hand.

“Ik ben nerveus,” he says, “Is it bad that I am this nervous? I’ve talked to them a lot, but now we’ll meet them face to face.”

Burt puts his hand on Kurt’s shoulder.

“We’ll be fine, kid, they’re also looking forward to seeing us,” he says with a reassuring voice.

“Ik ben er voor je,” Blaine also says in support. When Kurt first asked Blaine if he wanted to come along to their trip to the Netherlands, Blaine almost refused. He didn’t want to impose on such a big moment.

But Kurt argued that Blaine had to be there.

“You’re the one who taught me Dutch for this moment. You made part of it possible,” he had said, “Ik wil dat je erbij bent.”

And Blaine cannot say no to this man. He’s basically moved across the universe for him, so of course he’d follow him across the world.

The four of them get their luggage and they walk towards the Arrival hall. Many people are waiting for their loved ones to arrive, and Kurt’s family isn’t an exception.

Kurt’s cousins, Gwen, Anne and Jeroen, are holding a huge cardboard sign that says “WELKOM IN NEDERLAND, HUMMEL-HUDSONS en Blaine!”.

The letters are in red, white, blue and orange. Blaine lets out a laugh when he sees that they scribbled his name to the side. The sign is also decorated with stereotypically Dutch things, like wooden clogs, windmills and tulips. They put some effort into it.

Burt tearfully hugs his long lost sisters. Carole talks to Ellen and Paul, the in-laws, about the flight. Kurt talks to his cousins in basic Dutch. The sentences are still very simple, but it has the desired effect. The cousins are very surprised and delighted.

“Mam, mama!” Gwen yells to the adults, “Kurt spreekt Nederlands!”

“Echt?” Barbara, who is still hugging Burt, sounds bewildered.

Burt and Carole also picked up some very, very basic sentences from Kurt and Blaine and Kurt’s extended family is delighted.

“Wat een verassing!” Janine says and she claps her hand in delight.

Kurt then talks to everyone in his Dutch family, showing off his skill. Blaine’s standing at the side and he’s beaming with pride. Then Kurt looks over his shoulder and motions towards Blaine to come over.

“En dit is Blaine, mijn vriend, in every sense,” Kurt says and Blaine shakes hands with everyone, “Hij heeft mij Nederlands geleerd. Hij is een goede leraar.”

“Bedankt,” Blaine blushes. He properly introduces himself in Dutch, using the cover story about his life. Only Kurt knows that he’s an alien. (Okay, and Rachel, and Santana, since Brittany told her. It’s fine.)

“Shall we?” Janine asks, “Time to show you our beautiful little country.”

“Ah, yes, Holland here we come!” Burt says happily, which makes all the Dutch people gasp.

“Uncle Burt, it is the Netherlands, not Holland!” Anne says.

“Holland isn’t the same. It’s only a part of the Netherlands!” Gwen shakes her head.

“It’s like calling all of the USA Florida!” Jeroen adds.

Kurt turns to Blaine. He didn’t know that.

“You never said!” Kurt says.

Blaine shrugs.

“You never asked.”

“Well, I suppose I have a lot to learn,” Kurt pouts, “Luckily I have my Dutch family. And you.”

Kurt gives Blaine a peck on the lips and together they follow Kurt’s family out of the airport.

–

End notes: Thank you for reading and thank you @klaine-word-scramble for hosting. I got a total of 144 points, which is great. I am going on a small tangent here, but I loved this challenge a lot because we always played Scrabble with my uncle and it was always a lot of fun. May he rest in peace.

I hoped you enjoyed me using this fic as free real estate to moan about my language. If you don’t know Dutch (and Chinese, at one point), I put all the translations of the text here. 

Thanks again. See you for the Advent (hopefully).

[sofmg]

Enough.

Joe Heller, according to Kurt Vonnegut, originally published in The New Yorker on May 16th, 2005.

True story, Word of Honor: Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer now dead, and I were at a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island. I said, "Joe, how does it make you feel to know that our host only yesterday may have made more money than your novel 'Catch-22' has earned in its entire history?" And Joe said, "I've got something he can never have." And I said, "What on earth could that be, Joe?" And Joe said, "The knowledge that I've got enough." Not bad! Rest in peace!

[nachtsoklein]

What did dying feel like?

❛ there is no mystery ; the answer is as obvious as my tail : hurt !! aah, but which time, mein freund ?? death is not so cut & dried a thing for us x - men ; there tend to be encores.

❛ ach, it is strange — i've been on the steps of death many, many times in my life, but i was often held back from approaching the threshold by a faith, & stubbornness, that i would be alright. after all, there is always the x - men, or luck. i have always been very lucky. ... na ja, mostly after joining the x - men.

❛ but, when i did die ... the proper time ... it was downright pleasant. ❜ he laughs at his own words, acknowledging the bizarre contradiction of matter & adjective. oh, kurt is in no rush to seek out such sensations again ( though fate may have otherwise in store for him ) , but ... his smile remains befuddledly amused at his own recollection. ❛ there was pain, like nothing i had ever experienced — i had an arm fused through my chest, an elbow where my heart should be, klar, — but it was ... peaceful, really. i felt quite calm about the whole thing, i found. ❜

❛ the lord granted me strength enough to get hope to utopia, & i knew i could trust my friends & allies to handle the rest. i left behind no regrets. ❜ not to say he didn't feel a few halfhearted ones coming on whilst gazing over the edge of heaven, but, that's an entirely different matter. ❛ so ja — not too bad. ❜

[awesomewonderland]

Rest in peace Kurt! ❤️

You were such a great and kind person! I’ll never forget you and your lovely wife Renate! You were full of life and it was so much fun to be around you. May you rest in peace 🤍🤍🤍

[p1ut0mars]

may kurt rest in peace

But seriously the preppy nirvana kids are so annoying

[sunlezz]

ok but fr tho, kurt knew what was up