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deanwritings · 6 months ago

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The Guest House - Chapter 10

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Series Summary: Dean Winchester is going through a nasty divorce. He doesn't have much left to his name, but what he does have is his house. Leave it to his soon-to-be ex wife to find a way to even ruin that for him. Enter Y/N, who is looking to get away from life for a bit, and stumbles right into the middle of it all.

The Guest House Master List

Word Count: 3,180

A/N: Know it's been a while and appreciate everyone's patience!

It takes a little over an hour for Dean to finish up the two cars. Having been taught your lesson, you handed Dean the correct tools he requested, though he did remember to say “please” each time he asked.

From time to time he would explain what he was working on, not that it meant much to you, but you were starting to pick up on a few things, which you were hoping to take home with you so you wouldn’t feel so helpless the next time you went to get an oil change.

“So how did you even meet Rick?” You lean against a pillar as Dean rolls out from the Stingray, shutting off his head lamp as he stands. He lets out a chuckle at your question.

“I’ve actually known him most of my life.” Dean gently rests against the hood, crossing his arms.

You just raise your eyebrows, hoping he’ll elaborate.

“My dad used to come here all the time growing up, and so did Rick.” He continues. “They were around the same age and they kept in touch as they got older. My dad used to bring us up here when we were kids. I loved it, but Sam and my mom would spend our visits up here swimming at the lake, but my dad and I would be sitting in those bleachers.” He points out the windowed garage door to the grand stands.

“It would be July and it could be 120 degrees between the heat and the cars, but there was nowhere else we’d rather be.” He reminisces with a smile but he keeps his eyes on his oil-stained boots.

“Rick is cut from the same cloth. He stopped coming around as I got older, got busy with his fancy life in the city, but when he ended up buying this place, he reached out to my dad and I, would get us in the ‘VIP’ suite, which were just his seats. He was excited when he found out I started working in Bobby’s shop, and then a couple years later he called me up to take a look at a vintage car he was going to buy. Said he had hired a guy but didn’t trust his report, so needed someone he could count on. I was just twenty-one, but he trusted every word I said, and I’ve been working for him ever since.”

You smile across at Dean, not that he sees it. Whether intentionally or not, Dean was opening up to you, more of him becoming unraveled. And there’s one question you’ve been wanting to ask him for weeks now, and you finally felt comfortable enough with him to post it.

“And what’s the deal with you and Nick?” You ask quietly, nervous that you may be overstepping, but hell, he brought you to a weekend away at his mom’s house. You were well past acquaintance status.

You think back to that night at Max’s, your first week here, when you had gotten cozy with the blonde-haired beau before Dean had stepped in. Before Dean gave a shit about you, he did that night. And you always wondered why.

Dean takes in a deep breath, keeping his eyes downcast.

“It started back in high school. It was just teenage stuff; he was the football star, I played basketball. We were both really competitive and it was just a lot of stupid ego stuff. But when Sammy started high school my senior year, Nick took an interest in him, and decided to make Sam’s life hell because of me. He bullied the poor kid almost every day. So I took it upon myself to make sure he never bothered Sam again.” A smirk slowly begins to rise. “Got suspended for a week because of it and almost wasn’t allowed to walk graduation, but it was worth it.”

“And what exactly did you do?” His eyes flash up to you, a devilish gleam in them.

“I may or may not have rigged his airbags to go off when he turned the radio on one day after school.”

You blanch.

“You can do that?” Dean nods.

“But how did they know that was you? Even if he suspected you, there would have been no way to prove it.”

“Because I was waiting for him in the parking lot and after they went off, I pulled him out of the car and told him if he ever bothered Sammy again I would cut his brakes and make it look like an accident.” Dean doesn’t flinch at the threat, and neither do you. You had two younger siblings, both brothers. You understood. Being the older sibling also meant being the protector, and you had stepped in from time to time when your brothers needed it.

Dean looks back to you.

“That was the end of it though. Never bothered me or Sam again.” He wipes his hands against each other before shoving them in the pockets of his coveralls.

“Well I guess I really do owe you for saving me from ‘the town’s biggest asshole’ then.” You smile at him, using his own words from that night. Words you had thrown back at him in rash rage.

“I would say so.” He agrees, pushing off the car and closing the gap between you. Your eyes stalk the movement, not missing a step until he stops an arm’s length from you. His eyes have that devilish sparkle that twists your stomach in the best way.

“And what exactly do you have in mind?” You challenge, standing up straighter even though your knees feel weak.

“How about dinner?” His voice is low, shared only between the two of you even though there’s no one else around.

Your eyes widen.

“You’re asking me out?” You gawk, practically breathless. His lips slowly curve up and he doesn’t break your gaze.

“I’m saying you can make it up to me by taking me out to dinner.” Your face and stomach drop, irritation rising like bile up your throat.

“Are you serious?” You cross your arm and drop your hip.

“Sure am, sweetheart.” He purrs. You respond with a heavy breath out of your nose.

“I literally just bought you lunch the other day.” You snap. “Explain to me why it’s my responsibility to keep feeding you?” You bite, ignoring the fact that you had bought him lunch the other day as a thank you for taking you hiking. But he didn’t need to be reminded of that.

Instead of waiting for an answer, you side step from him and walk towards the exit.

“Where are you going?” Dean calls from behind you. You turn on your heel and stare him down.

“Aren’t you done?” You huff, crossing your arms again. “I was headed back to the car.” You throw your thumb over your shoulder.

Dean just annoyingly smiles back at you.

“We’re not taking the truck.” You raise your eyebrows.

“What are we going to walk back?” You retort.

Dean turns on his heel in response and walks further into the garage.

You wait a second, then two, to see if he’s going to turn around, but he doesn’t. You tap your foot, but Dean still doesn’t turn back.

You drop your arms with a heavy breath and start after him, following him a few stalls down until you see him leaning into the open door of a shining black car, the body sleek and clearly not from this century.

“Is this another one of Rick’s?” You step up to the hood, tempted to reach out and run your fingers down the polished onyx.

“Nope,” Dean’s voice is muffled through the windshield as he rummages around inside.

“Can you answer a question that doesn’t require me to continue asking you questions?” You scowl, starting to have enough of this little game of his.

His laugh just echoes as he pushes out of the car and rests on the open door.

“Remember I told you about my baby?” You squint your eyes, the conversation ringing a vague bell.

You suck in a breath.

“Your car.” You snap your finger then point it at him and it comes back to you, remembering how absurd you thought it was when Dean shared he called his prized car “baby.”

Dean raises his eyebrows with a smile, opening his arms wide.

“Y/N, meet Baby. Baby, meet Y/N.” You frown at his exaggerated antics.

“Please don’t make me say “hi” to the car.” You groan, wondering exactly how much Dean loves this car.

Dean pats the hood and leans in.

“Don’t worry, Baby. She can be nice when she wants to be.” He coos. Your eyes bulge and mouth gapes.

“Should I be concerned about you? Is this what happens when you spend your life around car fumes?” You cross your arms, half kidding.

Dean just looks back at you with a grin.

“Get in the car will ya?” He orders before he dips down and plops into the driver’s seat and closes his car.

You stare at him for a moment through the windshield as he fiddles with something.

Aunt Rose, help me. You say up a silent prayer before you walk around the car and take a seat onto the white leather bench.

The inside is immaculate; conditioned, tan upholstery, a shining steering wheel, and a dashboard expertly restored to its former glory.

You run a hand along the felt ceiling, the fibers tickling your fingertips.

“You really built this car?” You ask in awe as you continue to take in the refurbished wonder.

Dean presses a button on a clicker attached to his visor, and the garage door in front of you begins to rise, sun chasing in through the windshield.

“Sure did,” Dean turns the key in the engine, the car roaring to life before Dean flicks down the gear shift into drive. “Got her in a scrap yard for a couple hundred bucks, then would use my paychecks from the shop to buy her new parts. Took me over three years. Which is why I keep her here.” Dean slowly pulls out of the garage, waiting for the car to clear before he hits the clicker again, shutting the door behind us.

You smile out the window as you slowly make your way down the empty race track towards the exit.

“If you love her that much why not just drive her all the time?” You play with the leather armrest that connects to the door. “Seems like a waste to just leave it in a garage all the time.” You muse.

You don't have many mantras in life, but one you strongly believed in not waiting to enjoy something. Your parents had saved an expensive bottle of champagne for you as a graduation present. They had won it in an auction years before and never had a good reason to open it and figured celebrating your matriculation would be the right time to finally pop it open. By the time they did, it had gone bad and your dad shook his head as he poured it down the drain.

“Cause I ain’t risking a dent or scratch in her after all the time I put into fixing her up.” Dean waves at the gate agent as you pass through the exit, and you give him a smile as well.

“I’m just saying. What’s the point of having a beautiful car like this if you’re just going to keep her hidden away? You’re like an overprotective father.” You chuckle as you look back out the window at the passing scenery of bare trees and dead grass. March truly was an ugly month.

You look over to Dean, catching his gaze for a moment before it returns to the road, a smirk his only answer.

Without a word, Dean leans his foot heavily onto the gas pedal, the needle on the speedometer quickly climbing as the outdoor world begins to blur by.

His heart jumps into his throat and his smile grows as the car continues to pick up speed. He wants to glance at Y/N, see her reaction, but he’s not reckless, not enough to take his eyes off the straightaway as the Impala ticks past 80 MPH.

He hears you take in a breath, but it’s not a gasp, doesn't sound scared or shocked, and he’s hoping you’re feeling the same excitement that he is as he shoots down the street, the engine rumbling through the front seat as he darts down his own personal racetrack that he’s driven down more times than he can count.

Which is why he takes his foot off the gas, letting the needle fall before they come up to the bend that takes them back into town.

It was only a few seconds, mere heartbeats, but it always makes Dean feel alive.

Once the car is at a manageable speed, he peeks over to you – your hand is braced against the door, but your smile is wide in a silent laugh. He swallows at the sight, a lump growing in his throat before he looks back to the road, taking the turn at an easy speed.

“I know it doesn’t quite compare after Rick took you through the racetrack today, but every time I take Baby out of the garage, I’ve gotta run her.” He beams, triumph heavy in his chest as he shows off his pride and joy, feeling a pure sense of excitement that he truly hasn’t felt in years.

Dean looks back over to you, your hair swishing as you shake your head.

“No,” you breathe out with a smile. “That was great.”

Dean releases a deep breath through his nose he didn’t realize he was holding. Almost like he was worried about your answer.

“Still think you should take her out more.”

Dean just smirks, revving the engine again and letting the car fly.

After Dean brings them to a roadside burger stand for lunch, they’re back at Mary’s house. Y/N had excused herself for a shower, and Mary and Dean lounge in the living room, the sun setting behind the windows, while Dean scrolls through social media on his phone.

“Nice day out?” Mary asks from the couch across from him, a book in her lap.

Dean takes a breath and puts his phone down, hearing her tone. The same tone she had in the kitchen this morning when she was inquiring more about the woman he brought home.

Not taking the bait, he simply replies, “Good. Managed to get all of Rick’s cars done in just about two hours. He’s all ready for tomorrow.” Mary just rolls her chartreuse eyes.

“And Y/N?” She asks bluntly. “How was your day with her?”

He knows what his mother is fishing for. Outside of the odd high school fling, Lisa was the only woman he had ever brought home. And here he was, with Y/N, some random girl he met only a few weeks ago, brought here by his ex, showering just upstairs.

The thought lights something in his eyes as his gaze leaves the living room, thinking of the blue and white bathroom he was so familiar with, the lengthy standup shower, enough room for two, where Y/N was probably lathering soap all over —-

“Dean.” Mary chirps, almost like she can see her son’s thoughts on his face.

“What?” He snaps, heat flushing his neck and cheeks, feeling like a caught child.

Mary just sighs and moves her book aside, leaning forward and resting her arms on her jean-clad knees.

“Don’t even start, mom.” He can see the conversation she wants to have.

“You’re the one who brought her here.” She counters. He rubs a hand down his face and leans back against the cushion.

“Look, I’m just trying to be friendly. She and I started off on a really bad foot, and I’m stuck with her for the month. Also, when I invited her, I never thought she’d actually say yes. I was more being polite.” Which was true, but doesn’t change the fact that when he got her text that she was going to join him for the weekend, his stomach flipped.

“She just quit her job and lost her aunt.” He continues on thoughtlessly. “She’s spending a month in a place where she knows no one. I’m just trying to be nice.” He sighs, crossing his arms across his chest.

A soft, but sad smile graces Mary’s lips, and she leans back.

“Well then, I’m very proud of you.” Dean starts to smile, but it doesn’t fully form. He looks across at his mother. “What?” She offers him back a similar smile.

“Just sounds like the two of you may have come together at the right time is all.” Dean frowns as he hears the telltale creak of pipes as the water upstairs shuts off.

“What does that mean?” He huffs.

“Well it sounds like she’s going through some big life changes, and so are you.” She offers gently.

“Oh here we go.” Dean rolls his eyes, his fists tightening.

“Huff and pout all you want, Dean.” Mary chastises her oldest son, who was always the most stubborn of her two boys. “But I think it’s nice that you two found each other when you're both going through a difficult time.” Dean fights the urge to roll his eyes again, knowing if he does, it will draw another chide from his mother.

“Fine,” he concedes. “It’s nice.” He placates his mother, hoping to end the conversation.

He’s not a charity case. He’s going through a divorce, just like 50% of married people. He’s not the first and he’s certainly not the last. He doesn’t need her pity. Or yours. Not that you’ve offered it.

Soft footsteps echo overhead, Y/N likely padding down the hallway back to her room. Probably in nothing but a towel.

“It’s just nice to see you happy again, Dean. Been a while since I’ve seen it.” Dean unfurls at her words, his body slumping with a sigh.

He’s being a dick. To his mother.

What an asshole.

He runs his hand down his face again.

Mary stands and steps around the coffee table, stopping in front of her sullen son. She rests a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t fight something nice just because you don’t think you deserve it.” She gives him a squeeze. After a moment, she steps away with a pat to his shoulder before she goes.

“I’m going to run to the store and pick up dinner. Any requests?” Dean opens his mouth. “Besides pie.” Mary beats him to it.

“All good.” Mary nods her head.

“I’ll be back in a little bit.” This time, Dean nods, quietly listening as Mary grabs her keys from the kitchen before stepping out the front door.

He hears Y/N move about upstairs again as Mary’s car comes to life in the driveway.

But Dean just relaxes on the couch, rests his head back, and closes his eyes.

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#dean x reader #dean winchester #dean imagine #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean x y/n #dean winchester fanfiction #the guest house

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charleslee-valentine · 6 months ago

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The Lost Boys name etymology:

As the leader of the group, we’ll start with David. The name David means ‘lover.’ His approach to vampirism is somewhat romantic. The ritual and the wine mixed with blood, takes on an erotic edge for example. Their lips touching the same bottle and the exchanging of fluids, and the haze that follows. His role as the leader could be violent given his power, or indifferent like Max’s way of running things- but he chooses to genuinely savor each member of his little pack. The tears he sheds for Marko are shed with love. The words he whispers to Michael, conscious or not, are endearing and soothing. Whether these bonds are more than platonic to him, or even approached in an acceptable way, he still has loving and sharing that love deeply in his nature, amplified by his powers.

Following him is Dwayne. Dwayne can mean ‘dark.’ Not just referring to his hair among the group obviously, his name could give a tiny glimpse into his character. Being less than a main character his screen time and thus his analytical depth is limited, but something about Dwayne is he can go from smiling with the group, to taking on a very stoic or cold expression fast. The ‘darkness’ inside Dwayne could be festering more than the other boys and making the whole -slightly irritating but mostly harmless teenager facade- a lot harder to keep up for him. Notable especially around Max is that stoniness. Part of his depth, it seems, is distrust for anyone outside of his boys, even his own sire. Dwayne’s edge (and weakness, actually) is his quickness to hold those dark and bitter feelings.

Marko involves some mythology to understand his meaning. The name itself stands for ‘dedicated to Mars,’ and Mars is the God of a few things, prominently war and feral nature. What this means for Marko is possibly strength and power. Of course, he is the smallest and that’s why he’s picked off first, but had the fight been between an awake Marko instead, his name hints at him possibly being the most brutal of the pack. It would make sense, that smaller stature equates to speed, in addition to the heightened vampire powers. Marko probably strikes like a feral animal. His tendency to drift to David and, in the words of Alex Winter himself, serve as something of a lap dog to him, is also possibly because of this nature. The idea being that he sacrificed some of his humanity to the brutality of vampirism and turns to David like a handler of sorts.

Finally is Paul. Maybe unexpectedly, the name means ‘humble.’ Where this personality trait can most prominently be seen is in Paul’s treatment of Star, Michael, and Laddie. He seems to be the only one to empathize with how unsettling vampirism can be and offers gentleness to each, at least in the novelization. There are also still distinctly human traits to him like his substance use, his more enthusiastic expressions, and turning on the radio, which he initiated out of the group. Even refraining from harassing (though affectionately, as we know from the deleted scene) Maria the video store worker. It seems that Paul uses being a vampire to intimidate humans and half vampires much less than the others. This makes him a branch towards humanity. Where he loses his humbleness is when he dies. He takes the time to brag about the stupidity of the Frogs and it costs him time. In his grief he gave up a trait that was so woven into him, and thus became reckless enough that he gets killed.

That’s the case with all of the boys really. Their rage and grief over Marko’s death meant letting those qualities either amplify or disappear to the point of losing themselves, and then losing the fight. In Dwayne’s case, he embraced the violence in himself and targeted Sam even when he knew it wasn’t safe because of Michael’s proximity. The ‘dark’ quality of him took over the common sense. As for David, he trusted in Michael so blindly that he was still trying to coerce him to their side. Even after Marko was gone and now the boys were dropping like flies, it was too hard for him to just stop loving someone. It only becomes clear too late, and then Michael has the upper hand and David’s the one dying.

#tlb 1987 #the lost boys #david tlb #dwayne tlb #marko tlb #paul tlb #analysis

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heartbreakgrill · 4 months ago

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Delicate: Vessel (Sleep Token); Part 8; "My reputation's never been worse."

“This is so fucking stupid.”

I shoved my hands into my hoodie pocket, eyes rolling at the sight of the boys, noise makers between their lips, some jank ass sign unraveling in the wind.

“Your mom’s fucking stupid,” Max fired back with his usual goofy smile, words muffled from the noise maker in his mouth. His knocked his fist against my elbow gently as he passed by, moving to help Cy hold up the poster board.

They’d bought it at a random Walgreens, after having forced the Uber driver to pull over, abruptly. Then, with bumpy hands and terrible penmanship, they wrote out some sarcastic for Sam about returning home from prison.

“Don’t be a sour puss, dude,” Adam replied. His brows were furrowed, chin dipping side to side in disagreement to my negative statement.

I looked to him, watching as he pulled a cone shaped hat down onto his hair, the rubber band snug against his chin. The meer humor of the too-small hat on his head made his words lose any meaning. I wanted to laugh, but instead I shot back, my brows skeptically, sarcasm quick as air, “Who? Me? No, never!”

Adam scoffed a laugh. His hat was finally adjusted now, hands falling to his sides exasperatedly. “Seriously. Just try to be nice, for once. Sam said Daisy’s, like, so sweet.” My skepticism only darkened my gaze, sarcasm sinking into genuine wonder, “So, what, we’re gonna be dancing around some child all summer?”

It was a valid question. When Sam asked us about Daisy joining the tour for the summer, everyone else just jumped on board. I, however, took a little convincing. What business did she even have here, 5,000 miles from home? It’s not like she had any professional connections to touch on, nor was London that interesting. Or, maybe I was just being a pessimist, again…

To say the least, I had trust issues. Or, in my therapist’s more light turn of phrase, I was cautious, careful to new people because I had a lot on the line with my career and had been through numerous situations with others that ended up with me, well…in therapy.

Max battled with the cardboard sign as the wind seemed to be winning the war. He struggled to get the words out as he scuffled to straighten its edges, which seemed to take more work than it needed to, “She’s literally only 5 years younger than you.”

“So, a child?”

“So, a 23 year old, grown woman. She’s really smart, Sam said. I’m sure you can have some fun conversations about the elements and shit.”

“Sam’s biased,” I murmured, focused now on the cigarette between my pointer and middle fingers. I dallied with lighting it, displaced energy in the act. It was early. I was tired.

“Sam’s one of your best mates,” Cy shot me a look. “Listen, just give her a chance. Stop moping just because you think some woman’s gonna take away from our guy time this summer.”

I straightened up, offense hitting my features like a stone wall, “When did I say that? I’m just worried we’re gonna have to cater to some child while we’re trying to literally do our jobs. She’s gonna be pursuing around like she’s in some Taylor Swift video while we’re going to be trying to earn our income. It’s just…weird.”

I’d never mention that fear to them- the fear I had of this trust. I think maybe if they all looked at me a little more closely, they’d see it. They’d see the fear in my eyes. But, I was really good at displacing my anxieties onto a separate, less pressing issue.

If I was ever terrified the sky was going to fall, then, suddenly, I was lashing out about the uncut grass in the front yard, randomly. Gotta love unhealthy coping mechanisms. Cy was still looking at me all judgmentally. I knew he wanted to lecture me further, but he simply reached over, patted my shoulder, and said, “Just…try not to be a dickhead, okay? Let the girl enjoy her summer.”

Max continued on, blabbering about something or the other. “I’m, like…Ollie, have you ever even seen a Taylor Swift video? I am pretty sure not a single fucking one takes place in Europe. They’re all super conceptual and abstract. Honestly, you might actually love some of ‘em. What’s that older one? With the trees and shit?”

“Out Of the Woods?” Adam was quick to fill in the blanks. I looked to him out of the corner of my vision, gaze narrowed. Of course he knew which one it was. He held his hands up, defensively, “What? My little cousin loves her.”

“Mhm,” I nodded, slow.

He trailed off, looking away, “And, maybe, you know, I do, too.”

“Oh, I’m sure.”

Max latched onto Adam’s help, continuing his rant about Taylor Swift, of all things. “Fuck! Out of the Woods! It reminds me a lot of the Fall for Me video! There’s, ya know, water…lots of running…self-deprecation. Fuck, a Sleep Token/Taylor Swift collab would go so hard!”

“Shit, could you imagine some real drums on one of her songs?” Cy perked up at the thought, fingers thrumming against the corner of the sign that he’d now laid his clutches on. “Sick!”

“Oh, God,” I rubbed my forehead, itching more and more to finally light up my cigarette, puff out a few smokey deep breaths. “I can feel the glitter and sparkles starting to fucking suffocate me! Can we please talk about something else?”

“Whatever, Ollie,” Adam flicked his hand towards me dismissively. He went to change the subject when his phone dinged from his pocket. He pulled it out, in one fluid motion, and read whatever text he’d gotten. “Shit! They just got their bags! Quick! Hold up the sign!”

Max shuffled around, all energetic, trying to make everything look perfect. He quickly tried to put a party hat on my head. I had to shove his entire body into Adam to stop him from getting the string down over my chin.

“Fuck off!” I cursed, brushing out the torso of my hoodie. He giggled, annoyingly, knowing he’d successfully gotten on my nerves. Again.

Max turned his attention away from me and to the two people who had just walked out of the airport, suitcases rolling behind them, backpacks looped around their shoulders. I noticed Sam, first, his head dipped down into his phone, curly blonde hair mopped up atop his head. He was dressed, head to toe, in all black. It was a welcome site, the fifth member of our posse back in our home country, our original stomping grounds, even if he wasn’t from here.

I let a smile overtake my features, excitement bubbling in my cheeks. It was actually really good to see him.

I wouldn’t have even paid any attention to the girl standing beside him if she didn’t stick out so much, like a sore thumb. Her bright pink sweater, gray sweatpants, the purples and greens swirled around her suitcase. Every single thing touching her was just…so colorful. Even the expression on her face, wide grin, cheery eyes- though they were circled by tireless bags- it was all so glaring.

I narrowed my eyes skeptically.

As Sam fumbled about on his phone, she stepped forward, excitedly taking an extra noise maker, my left over party hat, from Max. She barely got the hat on before Sam was looking up, our small crowd erupting into joyous ruckus that caused him to nearly drop his phone.

I don’t know why, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I watched her, carefully, as she went through the motions of greeting everyone. Adam was his shy, introverted self. Cy was charismatic, Max obnoxiously flirty.

And she was just…constant, through it all. Upbeat, grinning, encouraging to every single average word that my friends told her.

And then she was looking at me, offering her hand. My head shook slightly as if to unscramble my consciousness. I glanced between her hand, her own gaze, unsure of what to do or say. I had been too busy watching. I barely brought myself out of that entrapped stare before my name came fumbling out of my mouth.

“Oliver.”

She seemed a little put off, taken aback, after I blatantly ignored her outstretched hand. But, I didn’t want to shake it. I was afraid that, if I touched it, she might shock me, sting me, scorch me with that bleeding sunshine she seemed to have sticking to her skin.

Besides, I couldn’t trust her, right? Right.

I turned my head away, feeling somewhat ashamed for the way I brushed her off. There was a rejected twinkle in her eyes, one that I could not handle. Moving on from that interaction, or in an attempt to do so, I tilted my chin down, glazing my eyes to the concrete. I shrunk beneath the cover of my hood. I didn’t need to feel bad for anything. I didn’t even know her, nor did she know me.

As the others finished up with their exchange of greetings, the group itself began making its way back to the Uber, with Sam and Daisy now a part of the flow.

The car ride back was objectively short, though it felt longer than the time on Apple Maps said. I rode in the back with the guys, pressed up against the door due to the lack of space. My long knees jutted out awkwardly. The bone of my leg ached from knocking against the door with each bump in the road that the car hit.

I stared out of the window, hoping the painful time would pass quicker. The ugliness of London stared back at me. A small, curious part of me kept darting my eyes towards the front seat, where she sat. But I stilled my gaze on the city.

That was maybe part of the issue- I just didn't understand why Daisy was so interested in visiting this place anyways. It was boring, bland. I associated the cloudy gray skies and rainy summers with some of the worst times of my life. This city looked the way I felt for most of it, too. The people were shit, too. Rude, always in a rush, unforgiving and untrustworthy.

What adventure could one find in this wet, concrete maze of hell?

Bored, I moved my attention back to the interior of the car, still resisting that urge to look forward. Adam, Cy, Sam, and Max were a cacophony of lost conversation, catching up, rumbling laughter. I listened for a moment, intently awaiting her to throw in her two sense. She seemed like the type to talk somebody’s ear off. Perhaps I could read between her sentences, find out her motives, her intentions, find something to use against her, so I could easily hate her and put distance between us-

Oh.

She was sleeping.

Her body was slumped against the door, neck pillow twisted around to support her forehead from the glass of the window. She cradled her hands to her stomach, the blanket she had just up underneath her chest.

The curve of her face caught my eye the most, the simple stillness of the lines around her lips, the peaceful flutter that ruffled her lashes every so often. I wondered what she dreamt of- rainbows, sunshine, lollipops. I bet she was the type of person who would respond, "World peace," when asked what she would wish for if she had a genie.

God. I really was an asshole. Here was this stranger, this beautiful, seemingly kind stranger, trying to catch up on sleep after traveling nearly 20 hours…and here I was, creating an entire persona around the two facts I actually knew about her. Maybe I should give her a chance, like the guys said. Maybe I should let her in, even if it was barely past the surface, and try to be amicable.

Maybe she wouldn’t sell my name to the paparazzi. Maybe she wouldn’t leak photos of me online, or call news sites to gain traction on social media.

I nearly flinched as she shifted in her slumber, so lost in my thoughts that the disruption was a panic. Her lips parted, just so, as air deflated from her lungs. The hair that curled around her face ruffled from the gentle gust.

Though she looked like Sam, she really was beautiful. Sure, Sam was attractive, in his own way. But, uniquely, Daisy was…honestly, gorgeous, all doe-eyed, rose lips, freckled cheeks.

I kept staring at her, analyzing, accidentally memorizing.

As I felt myself sinking, into my seat, into myself, into this stare I had on her, I straightened up, shoved myself back in the door.

The poor girl wasn’t even awake.

And I was being far too open.

When we reached the hotel, everyone piled out of the Uber. I went to step out, myself, to begrudgingly helped with luggage. But after I cast a casual glance over my shoulder, I noticed Daisy was still asleep. As though she were his responsibility, I found Sam and went to vocalize the issue with him. But he was busy with their bags.

None of the others were really familiar enough with her to consider her.

No one but me, I guess, because I was reaching out my fingers, touching her shoulder, telling her, "We're here."

I swept myself away before she could wake up and look me in the eyes. - "Where's your sister?" Cy inquired, poking at his dish with the fork in his hold.

Sam shrugged as he continued shoveling french fries in his mouth. "Sleeping, I think. She was fucking exhausted. Could barely get herself to bed this morning.”

"Poor girl," Max pouted his bottom lip. "Has she ever traveled this far from home?"

"Nope."

"Damn. Good for her, then. It's hard to just leave everything behind, to leave your everyday life for this type of thing for this long," Max continued.

I listened intently, though I made it seem like I wasn't even conscious of the guys seated at the table with me. Where they thought I was mindlessly stirring my drink, I was reading between the lines of every vague fact Sam dropped about Daisy.

"Well," he held a hand before his mouth as he chewed, swallowed. He sat back as he began to unload more information about his sister, "No offense to her, but she doesn't have much of a life. She works, like, two-three jobs at any given time. She works at some clinic during the day, waits tables in the evening, then does some stuff on campus here and there."

"Shit. Hope she's taking care of herself," Adam commented, thoughtfully.

"She does. I think. I don't know. We don't really get much time together anymore. Ever since mom died...I don't know. It's been hard to stay connected."

"This summer's gonna be good, then, for you guys to get to see each other," Cy touched Sam’s wrist with his fist, encouraging our friend with his response.

"Yeah," Sam's eyes seemed a little distant then, like there were foggy memories, regrets clouding his consciousness, "Yeah, I hope so."

Max went to speak again when Sam's phone went off. He pulled it out, scrolling through the texts he'd received. "Speak of the devil."

Sure enough, Daisy came padding into the hotel bar. Her hair was damp, twisted up behind her head by some clip. Her features were more prominent this way, skin shining with the care she must have just put into it. As she approached us, her perfume breezed off her skin, off her stupid Taylor Swift hoodie, right past my nose.

It smelled so sweet that I had to look away, focus on something else.

Everyone else greeted her, asking about how she slept, how she felt. I was inattentive, attempting to make it seem like I hadn’t just been thrown off balance.

I needed to do something, say something to her, to be welcoming. To make it seem like I wasn’t such a dickhead, even though I pretty much was. So, I worked on some phrases in my head, hoping to catch her in a side conversation, so there wasn’t so much tension with the others listening in. But, she walked out of the bar as quickly as she'd come.

I found the air to be cooler without her occupying the space.

I shivered and turned my chin towards that freeze.

Later that evening, I found myself on the hotel roof.

It was one of my favorite spots, no matter which city we were passing through, which state I found myself to be stuck in. I could go up to the highest floor, even if it wasn’t too far off of the ground, tune out the stress that came with work, and relax into the peace and quiet.

It was one of the healthier coping mechanisms my therapist and I had been working on. I was an antisocial person, to say the least. And when I’d had to be around others for too long, working literal overtime to just function like a normal person, I’d become irritable, withdrawn.

So, stalking off in the late hours of the evening with a book in my hand and some lyrics in my head became a usual, practiced ritual that I was comforted by, especially on tours.

The breeze of London flew past my face, braising goosebumps on my neck. I tucked my chin into my hoodie more. There were these tiki lights, all around me and the intimate seating area I occupied, but the little bits of light did nothing to help me see the book in my hands.

I tucked it away after straining for a few moments and settled on just resonating with myself for a bit. I watched the flames of the fire pit before me, listened to it crackle and pop. I was so focused on the peacefulness, that I hadn’t even noticed the elevator ding, nor the person scuffling across the concrete of the roof.

In fact, I didn’t even notice her until she was sitting across from me, these little alcohol bottles in her hands. The movement of her sitting before me flitted my gaze up, edges of my vision blurred slightly from the intensity of the flames. My hearing focused after. There was music streaming from the speakers on her phone, some Taylor Swift song I didn't recognize. I withheld the urge to roll my eyes and studied her movements.

She read the label on the mini shot of Jack Daniels with squinted eyes. I'd never seen someone pay so much attention to a simple liquor Maybe she'd never drank it before. That would be a strange fact, considering she was 23. Every 23 year old I knew had gone through every liquor known to man. Then, she drank it and I realized why she was so observant. Her face turned up in this grimace, lips puckered, brows furrowed. She just couldn't handle her liquor. Her examination of the bottle was really just a hesitance to consume it in the first place.

I stifled a laugh and instead found my words, urged to tease her for this occurrence, "Gonna share?' Maybe I should have intruded her peace more gently, or maybe I should have said something sooner than I did. Either way, I had spooked her enough that she jumped.

Her once shocked grimace twisted into a deep frown, like she was annoyed I had disturbed her. "How long have you been sitting there?"

My grin widened, though it didn't seem like she found much humor in the situation. "Long enough to know you can't take a shot." I held out my hand, awaiting her to hand over one of the bottles. She didn't do that Instead, her face hardened a bit and she made another comment, “Sorry I’m not an alcoholic. If you want one, you have to come get it, by the way. I’m comfy now.”

I was taken back by her crudeness. Everyone said she was so kind, so sweet. I'd even overheard her niceties earlier, at the airport, at the bar. Had I done something?

Instead of setting the record straight, communicating, though, I became defensive to her jabs. As I reached for one of the bottles, I said, "Comfy with this trash music playing?"

Funnily enough, this made her face sink more, if at all possible. Her frown was deep as a river, and murky as one, too, "Real men listen to Taylor Swift."

I tried another joke, hoping it would salvage the wreckage we were feeding, "Hey, haven't you heard? I'm a vessel, not a man?"

I don't know if it did, but she at least continued speaking to me. "So, vessel, what are you doing up here? Can't sleep?"

I tossed my hand in her direction, speaking with my casual satire, "Obviously." I looked away from her, breathless. I was trying so hard, so incredibly hard to seem careless, chill. I didn’t know why I couldn’t just, actually, genuinely not give a fuck.

I reached for my cigarettes, too stressed out to handle a head that was some sober from nicotine. After a long drag, I felt that familiar buzz of a clear head, the temporary reduction of anxiety.

Cigarettes were always a killer ice breaker, helpful in even the toughest, most awkward conversations. So, when my eyes popped back open and met hers, I offered a hit.

If her face had been disgusted before, it was even more so now. "That's okay, thanks," she almost sneered.

I pursed my lips. Okay, I wasn't the only one killing this conversation. She acted like she was just too good for anything that I had to do with. Like if she were to take a drag from this cigarette, she'd be infected with my sickness.

I voiced the concern with my snide tone again. Her response nearly made me choke on my own spit, “More like my mom died of lung cancer because she smoked for thirty years.”

As quick as possible, I stomped the butt into the ground. "Sorry."

She hummed some sort of response, looking away so uncomfortably. I wanted to grovel, to beg for her forgiveness in the case of such a small moment of misunderstanding, but I settled on another painful jab at a nice conversation.

“I’d ask what you’re doing up, but I figured you wouldn’t be able to sleep after the day you had.” She responded in that same dry tone, "Yeah, no."

Annoyed, I began to wonder where all this sweetness had gone. Earlier, with the guys, she had spoken like she'd known them for forever. Here, with me- she acted like I'd spit in her coffee this morning, like I was holding her at gun point just to have this conversation.

I gave up on trying to be overly considerate and shot straight to the point. I wanted answers anyways, and now I had a good reason to search for them, "What's your deal, Daisy?"

"What the fuck does that mean?" She responded.

I shrugged as I crossed my arms over my chest. What did she want it to mean? "Why are you here?" Instead of just answering the question, she countered me, echoing the question. Good fucking game, Daisy Hallett. Good fucking game.

I stretched my body out as I thought, unsure of how to answer. What was I here for? To do my job, obviously. So, I told her that. But, I should have known she would pry deeper. That were her job, after all, to observe, analyze, pry.

“That’s not what you’re here for,” She rejected my words, shaking her head just slightly, “That’s what everyone else is here for. What about you, Oliver?”

I started making music for myself, not anyone else. In the darkest, most terrible parts of my life, it had gotten me through to the other side with ease. It was my biggest coping skill, sitting at a clear number one on the list my therapist and I had outlined.

Getting paid for it, getting to tour and travel cities…that was all a plus. Touring, performing itself, were two things I was still trying to get used to. It was awesome to get to play my music life for others, to help them through to the other side, but it was sometimes…overwhelming, a hard pill to swallow.

So, I answered honestly this time, “To…worship. To celebrate my music, myself…life.”

She was impressed by this answer, pleased, and I could tell this by the stretch of her lips. That sweet, enticing smile did something to me.

As she held up the shot bottle in a gesture to cheers, I returned the smirk. We danced on the edge of some invisible line.

"To life."

I wanted to hear more of her voice, more of...her, more about her. So, I scrambled and said, "Wait, what about you?"

“There’s no deeper meaning to anything I do,” she waved me off.

I understood her more in this moment than I sometimes understood the people closest to me. She was like- she was insecure, she was scared. She was a little kid with monsters under her bed and in her closet.

So, I affirmed her existence with words that seemed so simple, yet would have meant so much for me to hear, too. “Oh, Daisy, there’s always deeper meaning to everything humans do. Think. What’s yours?”

This threw her off balance, yet somehow kept her from falling off the edge. It made the gears in her head turn, made her question her own thoughts. "I guess…I guess…to find that deeper meaning. To find what I’m looking for, maybe.”

She still didn't seem too sure, but I knew that, once this summer ended, once the leaves turned brown, and she returned back to a place called home, she would know it in her bones.

And I think, maybe, I might know it, too.

Sooner, rather than the later that I hoped for, we were in the elevator. Hours of breathless conversation sat, stale in the air on the roof, abandoned as the steel doors trapped us in silence.

The more she told me, the more terrified I was of her very existence. She was smarter than me, and very good at returning snide comments. Her wit was so profoundly intelligent, that I found myself silenced on more than one occasion.

Above all this- she was a disruption- she was chaos. She made me think differently, harder. She made me laugh.

I was drawn in by all of this, by her eyes, by the way the corners of her pink lips curled up into her cheeks. It took me a second to realize that she was staring back up at me, that our shoulders were turning to face one another, that my fingers were grazing the sleeve of her hoodie.

"You're very pretty, Daisy," the words fell out in a dangerous whisper. I loved the way she blushed, the way the tip of her nose scrunched, and she fell back onto her heels a bit.

I would have kissed her, I knew that for sure, had the elevator doors not opened up, had we not parted ways there, in the barren hallways. And I would have sought her out, would have reached for a simple phone number, another moment on the roof, another conversation about life and college and her favorite fucking color...

had I not made it back to my room and looked myself in the eye, through the smudged reflection of the bathroom mirror. The painful eye contact brought me back down to Earth, reminded me of the ugliness swirled up inside my chest, the bitter desire of my own self interest, selfishness.

I was...I was the chaos. I was the disruption. Here was this beautiful, interesting, smart girl...and here was me, this man-giant, who could barely hold a conversation without feeling like he was going to have a panic attack. Besides all that, her brother was my fucking best friend. I was his boss.

This was territory that I could not enter, not without a guilty conscience and someone's broken heart. So, I would proceed with caution, although it ended up making me seem like the worst person in the world.

I knew I could no longer keep up the act only a few weeks in, all thanks to Whitney Houston and this stupid pink fucking dress.

I watched her parade herself all night, guzzling drinks like they were air, batting her stupidly prim and perfect eyelashes my way. She knew exactly how to get me going- how to lock me in, most of all. And I was playing right into the fucking game, weak signs and Achilles heels all exposed from the second that she stepped out of that hotel room.

When I saw that knowing, vivacious smirk- I knew tonight would be different.

It wasn't until she was passed out, in my bed, with my hoodie on, that I realized I was falling for her. I had been able to subside the hunger that I felt, the hunger I felt to speak to her, to consume her with my eyes, my teeth, my hands, my body- God. It was easy to push all these thoughts away when she wasn't there- but then, she'd show up at breakfast or dinner or in my dreams and thoughts and desperations and I'd spiral again.

It didn't help that I was letting it get to me so much- and she was literally trained in analyzing behavior. I exposed my curiosities with even the slightest dip in my gaze or lift in my shoulders. There was a moment, during breakfast, when she told us of her plans for the evening of one our first shows- that she wasn't coming to.

Max had to go and make a stupid joke when I just barly glanced up from my plate, "Even Ollie's hurt!" I stopped coming to so many social gatherings, at least where she was concerned. And, then, I got all the space I needed when we took off on the buses.

Everyone flocked to her side, wanting even a second of her attention, while I kept to myself on the other bus. Because I thought the guys might leave me alone about it, I could almost reside in absolute peace.

But, then, Ronnie came knocking on my bunk.

It was early morning. We were stopped for gas, somewhere in Northern Italy. The bus was deadly silent, with nothing but my own quiet breath and the hum of the outside world to keep e company. Ronnie came in, bounding, like she always did. She slammed the bus door shut, jarring me from the focus I'd had on the game of Mario Kart pulled up on my Switch. Next thing I knew, she was ripping open the curtain to my bunk.

"Why the fuck are you rotting in here like a mummy? I'm close to wrapping you up in toilet paper and shoving you in with the suitcases!"

I rolled my eyes as she spoke and slouched my shoulders away. The hood of my sweatshirt dipped enough that she was no longer in my view. "Sam needs to stop gassing up your jokes. It's getting to your head."

"You're literally just jealous because your jokes are only ever mean and borderline tone-deaf," Ronnie grabbed the lip of my hood and tugged it down over my face.

I wriggled away from her, Switch dropping towards the inside of the bunk. I shoved her hands away. "Says you, Miss Jimmy Carr."

Ronnie's jaw jutted open a bit, "Now that's fucked, Ollie."

I went to jab back again, but she held up a hand, head tilted like she was a tired, annoyed mother of a band of men babies. "Stop while you're ahead, dude. Back to what I came in to harass you about- you need to come join us! We're playing Mario Kart with peaches- Daisy, sorry. You guys would get along sooo great. I know you're, like, weird about new people, but she's so fucking funny. Please, please just come over, hang out, be chill for once in your life."

Peaches. They had given her a nickname. Peaches, as if she weren't already sweet enough to sour the cuts on my skin.

I huffed and puffed at the rant as I pulled my hood down the back of my head. "First of all, I don't play Mario Kart-"

"I literally hear the music coming from your Switch," Ronnie pointed with a dead stare at the device, muffled humming rumbling from beneath my blanket.

I met her eye, absent any shame of my white lie. I took a breath and dove back into my rejection, "Second of all, why the hell do you guys give out the cringiest, most ridiculous nicknames? Like, peaches?What even is that?"

"It's called joy, magic, and fun, you grinch," Ronnie pinched my elbow. I flinched away from her touch again and she snickered. "If you don't like Daisy, just say so. I won't tell anybody. I'll just resent and judge you in silence- silent words, not punches."

What did she mean, that I didn't like Daisy? I knew I'd been passive towards her, but I never made it so obvious-

The expression on my face must have read confusion or shock because Ronnie popped a hip and crossed her arms.

"Listen," she added, "I know that she probably irks you. I get it. You're the bad boy, dark soul type and she's this ray of fucking sunshine and, yes, peaches. Just- give her a chance before you rain all over her parade."

"I literally never said I had a fucking problem with her. Why does everyone think I hate her guts when I've literally only ever had one conversation with her?" I frustratedly spoke, words rushed together. Ronnie stood back a second, reading the scrunch of my brows, the way I pushed myself up onto my elbows. Then, her offended frown morphed into something knowing, as though bits of information clicked in her head.

"Oh," she rhythmed, grinning now, "I see what's going on here. Hey, she's gorgeous.” "Oh, my God, here we go," I stood from my bunk, now, unwilling to just lay there and listen to her try to evaluate my behavior.

Ronne didn't follow me as I made my way to the back room, "Ollie...just remember who you are. And who she is."

And this sentence alone threw me for the biggest loop.

I didn't even know what she meant by that, but as well I knew Ronnie...it was definitely more than met the eye, deeper than any surface level warning anybody else could give. Not only did I know Ronnie well, but she could read me like a book. She knew what to say to make my skin crawl. Who I am...who Daisy is.

Analyzing the statement from top to bottom, general to specific, it was simple. She was my best friend’s brother. And I was his boss.

It meant more than that, though.

Ronnie meant that Daisy…Daisy was delicate. Daisy was meat, fresh off a shattered bone, and I was a hound.

I was always the hound. The Albatross, even. A winged creature always coming in to swipe shiny things off of stormy shores.

Ronnie didn’t want to harm me with the statement, but she sure as hell wanted to humble me. And that she did.

Each time I found myself aching to find Daisy’s gaze, I’d shrink back into myself. Remember my place. Remember who I was.

And, then…that damn Whitney Houston song. That damn pink dress.

Ronnie knew I was slipping, when I first spotted Daisy, in the doorway of her hotel room, long legs on display. I caught my lips beginning to party, drool beginning to pool in my teeth. This appreciative smirk came upon my face until I met Ronnie’s frown.

And I moved on.

I kept trying to move on, to fly away, leave the gold necklace on the beach for some other lucky, hopeless idiot to clean the sand off of, treasure for the rest of their sorry days.

I paid for her meal, as some sort of reparation for the damage I must’ve done all evening, being the hungry being I was while she toyed with the lock on my cage.

But, I just couldn’t . Especially not when she was running from the bar, sickness visible on her face. I could’ve left it where it was- Max was shuffling after her, ready to help, ready to hold her hair up.

Before I knew it, my feet were racing me out of the door, my hand was on Max’s shoulder, a kind smile was reassuring him that I could handle it, that he could go back to having fun.

My hands were in her hair, my neck was cradling the crown of her head, she was reaching for my wallet, letting us into the hotel room, laying down on my bed. I was giving her my hoodie, placing a bandage on her leg, caressing her fruity skin.

And then…just like that, as quickly as the rain began, like when you can see it in sheets, pounding into the Earth, just there, off in the distance…then it’s splattering on your windshield, the sound jarring you from your tired drive, the blur harming your vision of the road.

It was raining in my hotel room.

I didn’t have an umbrella.

I spent the entire night, laying there on the bed beside her, faced away, tensed up. Every breath she took stopped my heart. Every wrinkle from the white sheets made my eyes blink.

I was spending so much of my thought process trying to remember the taste of her fleeting lips on my own, pressing my fingers to them as though they were stained from her, as though I could close my eyes and taste them, again and again and again.

Then, in the morning, she returned my hoodie. There was this…look…this distant, worried look. Had she remembered? Had she remembered the words I said? Was this going to change anything? Everything? At breakfast, I ignored her persistent eyes, the gaze burning into my soul for answers. When she told us she couldn’t remember anything, I was little relieved.

If she didn’t remember, I could put distance between us, try to forget it myself- try to forget the way her fingers buried themselves into my hair. Try to forget the feel of her nose, pressed into my cheek, her chest, warm against my own.

While I was able to put physical distance between us this week, being that work kept us busy. But, the mental, emotional yards were harder to climb.

Once we made it through the airport, to Italy, I began my practice of celibacy, against the thoughts of her, against us.

I think part of me knew it wouldn’t last. I think part of me didn’t want it to. I think that’s why I was there- in the elevator, headed for the roof, in hopes that I might find her there. I didn’t even know if it was a place she frequented, but my intuition told me it was a good place to look.

And I was right.

I acted shocked when I first saw her, like it didn’t help my blood pump, seeing her, feet in the water, hair curling around her forehead.

She looked so…tense. Stressed. There was this permanent furrow in her brow. Did she really not remember…anything? At all?

Though it was a relief, I wanted to jog her memory (I wanted to kiss her).

I asked Daisy, barely glancing over at her in the seat beside me. From the corner of my eye, I watched her chew upon on her bottom lip, “Not really.”

Why did it feel like a lie?

She must’ve remembered something. Sure, she had been drinking, but…she was smarter than that. “Okay,” I choked, snatching another look at her.

I noticed Daisy turn her chin to return the gaze and I looked back at the city. I couldn’t look into her eyes, look at her face. I’d crumble.

“Is there something I should be remembering?”

It was timid, shy. But bold.

Bolder than I could bring myself to be right now.

Unable to find my own words, unable to form my own lie, I echoed her.

“Okay,” she copied.

The moment swelled in my mind. I wanted- needed her to remember. I wanted her to feel the ache in my bones at the thought of our lips pressed together. Wanted her to feel the longing Maybe then, she’d be the one to break, and I could blame it on her. Make her out to be the bad guy, going after me.

What a fucked up thing to think about.

Before I could catch myself, I blurted, “You don’t remember-“

At the same time, she went to push further on the topic.

I excused myself, motioned for her to continue. But, of course, she let me go instead.

“You don’t remember coming back to the hotel?”

I knew I was confusing her.

“Not really. you’re sure there’s nothing you want to tell me? Something important I should be remembering?” her knuckles, clasped together, were turning white.

I shrugged and pretended to be unaware, “I don’t think so.”

“Why did you tell me to come sit with you?”

She really knew how to make a guy question his own thought patterns. It would make her a really great therapist- but it just made me want to run.

To hide. To slip away from this disruption in my damaged peace.

I sighed, thoughtful, though still unsure, “I don’t know. Thought it would be nice. Like when we were in London-“

“Like when we were in London and you proceeded to pretend like we never did this? Like when we were in London and you kept interrupting me, so I couldn’t tell everyone we had been up on the roof together?”

So, she was pissed.

I knew she would be. She acted like she didn’t care, but I saw through the disguise. It reminded me of me.

I shrugged, putting on the same play, “Like that.”

I guess that was the comment that sent her off the edge, though. She was too guarded, too respectful of herself to take the bullshit I pushed. “I’m gonna go to bed.”

That wasn’t it for me. I needed to know what she knew. She obviously remembered more than she was letting on.

I slid into the elevator behind her, “Daisy-“

I swear to God, the rhythm of her breathing palpitated when I said her name-

“I need you to be honest with me. What do you remember?”

“Oh, cause you’re such a conscientious person yourself?”

I pulled at my hair, stressfully, “I really don’t think we’re on the same page right now, Daisy. Please, if we could just talk about this, if you could just tell me what you remember-“

Gears seemed to click in her brain. Something I said, the way I moved, the flash of the stars in her eyes, something had triggered a memory in her head. Something suddenly made sense.

I tried to help, though I was probably just being an asshole. “I want to figure this out, okay?”

I wanted to figure her out.

Whatever clicked was- it fucked things up.

“Oliver,” she frowned, “I can’t play this game with you.”

Game?

What game?

I was only ever playing defense- keeping to myself, keeping her away from my heart, trying to maintain distance. She had kissed me- I was the one to turn her away.

My shoulders fell, “What game? Daisy…I’m confused!”

“So am I, Oliver!”

Fuck. The way she said my name-

“I’m- you’re fucking with my head!”

Like she wasn’t fucking with mine?!

I went back to my original question, hoping to continue digging there, instead of worrying about this new hole she was unburying, “What do you remember?”

“It doesn’t matter, Oliver! I just don’t want to do this with you. Max is right. I should listen to him.” What the fuck did Max say? Why was he involving himself in this? How did he even know about- us- when we didn’t even- what?

What was happening?

“I’m not doing this with you.”

The doors opened, and she was leaving me. In her dust. In the swell of her words.

I retreated back to my room, throat tight, chest contracting for any gulp breath I could get. I fell back against the door like there were bullet holes bleeding out of my chest. I wanted to just...be honest. To be honest with her. Tell her what I really thought, what really happened, how I felt about her.

It wasn't the boundaries holding me back now. All my senses of morality and respect for our situation were dead. It was me. I was the iceberg. I was the gun.

I found my way to the bed, lay there like an empty casket. Dead, hollow, shards of wood. Why was I so afraid of her?

Maybe she'd be good for me...better than the last relationship I had, that much I could already tell. But, maybe she didn't want me for that.

Maybe she wanted to scalp me for my money, for my fame, dish out the gossip to the tabloids. Maybe she wanted to love me.

Maybe I deserved something good. Maybe I deserved to take a risk on something. Maybe I needed to. I was outside her door, before I was really conscious to my own movements, knocking, waiting. For barely a second.

She was opening the door, standing there in this barren light like an angel.

"Daisy."

I was kissing her.

Whatever she wanted, whatever she needed, whatever cruel fate she may prophesize or goodness she may expose to my paled skin- I didn't care.

Because she was kissing me.

I hadn’t been with someone for over a year.

That was what was so jarring about the entire situation.

It made me cautious, held me back. I’d been on a dating ban since I switched to my new therapist, who wanted me to focus on myself more than I always did on another person.

And for a while, it was going well.

Until Daisy disrupted that.

I knew, for as long as she was alive, breathing my air, I just could never be alone.

Usually, when I dated someone, when I was with them…I still felt that loneliness because I would give so much. And that person never returned it.

Daisy did, by a tenfold. She was…present. She so easily showed up, made time for me, chased me down when I went into those bouts of self isolation.

It was difficult to let her in…to let her join me in the dark.

But she made it feel less lonely. She made me feel…whole.

I started going to breakfast more often, started including myself in the group activities. Not only did she make me feel less alone, but she made me feel like I needed human connection.

“It’s warm, isn’t it?”

I scoffed at my therapist’s words, so simple for something so complex. “Warm. It’s hot. I feel like I’m on fire.”

“Good. Burn,” she responded. “You’re in the light now, Oliver. How do you feel about it?”

“Wow, what a question,” I teased.

Dr. Grime sighed heavily, crossing her arms over her chest. The movement was delayed, due to the time zone different, the laggy wifi in the hotel room. “Seriously, Oliver. Is it…do you feel like you want to snuff it out?”

“Of course I do,” I shuffled on my bed, “you know me. Something good comes and I feel like I don’t deserve it. But…I think it might be okay if I hang around in this for a while.”

“I think so, too,” she smiled. “I like how your language has changed, too. You’d tell me, ‘I don’t deserve this.” Now you say, you feel like you don’t deserve it. You’re recognizing rational thoughts from emotional ones. That’s very important. I’m proud of you.”

I offered a strained smile in response, uncomfortable with her praise. It was appreciated, though, and gave me body a sense of accomplishment.

Maybe I was getting better.

“So, this Daisy,” she leaned forward, more intrigued with the personal aspect of my love life, like some maternal figure.

I chuckled, shaking my head approvingly, “Daisy.”

“Do you…love her?” Dr. Grime poked.

I blushed, deeply, but quickly shoved the thought away, “Oh, no. No way. I…I barely know her. That’s- that’s crazy. Definitely not. No.”

My phone dinged in rhythm with the end of my sentence. It was her.

Daisy: soon as sam goes to bed, i can be over

My eyes lingered on the text, more concerned with this situation now than the accusatory, knowing tone of my therapist’s words.

“Mm,” she paused, “no, of course. So, is this just…a casual summer fling for you? A way to get over everything this, figure out what it is you want out of a relationship? It’s important to have something like this, a stable ground to work up off of for the future, considering you don’t have a great idea as to what love should be like.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged, toying with my phone. I stared at the message, reading and rereading the message again and again.

What…was this.

What was this to me?

What was this…to her?

We’d established some boundaries, mostly that I couldn’t really commit to anything to serious. And she said that had been okay.

Was I still okay with that?

Was that still what I wanted?

I was so obviously falling in love with her, but I would never tell anybody that.

Especially not her.

But it didn’t matter if I loved her- did I want her that way? Did I want this to last past the summer?

I did.

And that’s what scared me the most.

Loving her beyond the swept up dream we were caught in, back home, domestically. Loving her casually, routinely, in the kitchen back in my apartment, through school, sharing plants and bath towels.

I wanted that.

I wanted her…her ends and odds.

I lied, “No. I don’t want that right now. Got tour going on, new album soon. You know. Busy.”

Long after therapy ended, I stared at the message. The sun had set, the day had died…and I just couldn’t think of anything to say.

I think if I were to be around her right now, I might blurt out some passionate, mindless thing that I couldn’t bring us back from.

I needed to do…what I always did. Be alone. Ruminate in my thoughts in the darkness of a foreign hotel room in a strange city. All alone.

This felt…easier. Comfortable. What I was good at.

Yeah…this was easier.

The next day, I couldn’t stay from her any longer.

I needed her and she was needed that, too- however we could get each other.

So I pushed aside the feelings I had for her- put up all my walls and boundaries, and took her into my arms-

We would have this summer, even if it killed us.

–

"Hiya, Ollie, dear!"

My mother's voice was a sweet symphonic sound to my tired ears. We were in near opposite time zones, hundreds of miles apart, and I missed her more than anything. Touring usually took everything out of me and she was the one, separate, stable person I could turn to.

We'd only called once or twice the past few months due to my obsessed perversions with a certain best friend's sibling who had been taking up all of my time- not that I was complaining about who.

It was only recently that my mom and I had established such good rapport. Since I was young, she'd struggled to wrap her head around my career choices. Now that I was fully devoted to the act, and quite successful, she pushed aside her disagreement with it and chose to just keep supporting me.

Though I couldn't always answer, her calls were welcome.

"Hi, mum," I sat up in the hotel bed, my back sighing in gratitude at the change in posiiton. i had been rotting in here for a few hours, a little bored since Daisy was out with her friend. I could've went and hung with the guys, but I honestly needed some time to myself. That time was starting to really feel like loneliness, though. I guess before I met Daisy, they were empty hours full of empty feelings. Now, I was waking up to the reality of my existence. I'd made it so dull.

"Are you in Paris yet? Or are you still travelling?"

"We made it a few days ago," I replied. “Show’s tomorrow."

"Oh, I love Paris," she remarked. I could hear her lovely grin through the tone of her words. "I remember when we went there on a school holiday. My favorite part was the Eiffel Tower. It's so big. Now, I hear that it sparkles. You'll have to take a photo for me."

"Sure, mum."

"Have you gotten out much or are you holing up in your hotel room?"

Sheepishly, I scratched my neck. My response was delayed a bit; we both knew the answer. “Uh...I’m getting out there. Ya know, hanging out.”

“Ugh, Ollie,” I could nearly hear the roll of her eyes through the phone. “You know need a lady friend. Someone to drag you out of your bed. I mean, how many times do you get to see Paris. And get paid for it!”

At the mention of a ‘lady friend,’ I blushed. I hadn’t gotten a chance to tell her about Daisy, and damn did I want to. Though we weren’t even officially together. I didn’t know how to explain that to my mom, so maybe I’d just shy away from the topic, talk about something else.

But I guess my lapse of silent thinking made her think that there already was a lady friend.

“Oh?” she questioned with a cheerful lace to her tone. I didn’t say anything, my brain was unable to come up with anything in response. Acting defensive always made people think the opposite of what I said. Should I just tell her? Get it out of the way? Let her lecture me about my poor choices.

“Well, I won’t badger you. When you're ready,” she was already responding.

I was surprised that she was going to leave it there, to say the least, which only furthered my sentence. She usually pushed until I gave her some semblance of the truth. As she was getting older, I’d realized she gotten more relaxed and didn’t push as much as she used to. I think it was partially due to the guilt she felt for everything between us growing up.

So, I just went to move the subject along when she jumped back on it, “Just- please don’t tell me it’s that Fiona girl. I’m so sorry if it is. I just can’t sit around and watch you be treated so poorly by someone so...so awful. Again. Her personality is just- wow. Though, I shouldn’t be surprised. I went to school with her mum, and she was awful towards me. Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree-”

I had to stop her while she was ahead. I guess some things never really, truly changed. "Mum, please! I’m not seeing Fiona again, I promise. I’m not...”

I wasn’t offended that she thought I was. It was just...more or so shocking. Shocking that she thought I’d put myself back in that. I had, a handful of times before. But...I was different now.

I guess she hadn't been around me these past few months, but I had truly changed. This past May’s Oliver very well could’ve let Fiona waltz back into his life. But July’s Oliver? He would’ve been hesitant.

And, even more so- Daisy’s Oliver...Daisy’s Oliver was a changing man. Daisy’s Oliver was a better man.

And I wanted to tell my mum that, I decided. She needed to know- it would ease her mind, along with my own. I know she was always worried for me. So, I told her-

“No, I’m seeing someone else. Her name...her name’s Daisy,” that felt good to admit, to put into the Universe, that I was seeing her, and she was seeing me, even if there were no labels attached.

“Daisy?” she perked up at the name. “That’s a pretty name. What’s she look like? You got any pictures you can text me?”

I realized quickly that I didn’t. In the near two months that we had been sleeping together, consuming one another’s souls, we hadn’t taken a single picture. It was probably for the best, just in case they somehow fell into the wrong hands. But- there were so many moments I could’ve- should’ve- captured. Moments of Daisy, hair whipping past her face on the roof, the lights of Italy glowing behind her like she had angelic wings. Daisy, in my hotel room, in the early morning before she had to sneak away. Tired eyes and an even more exhausted smile as she laughed at something stupid, I’d done in my sleep.

I wanted one. I wanted a picture of her, a picture of us, whatever I could get.

For now, all I had was my memories to help me describe her to my mum. It was easy to do so, considering she was etched into the very nerves in my mind.

“No, I don’t,” I breathed out, “but she’s beautiful. She’s got this-this- God, I can’t even describe her to you. Her hair’s darker, like yours. She’s got these brown eyes. Shorter than me, of course. You can always tell it’s her, though, just by the way she carries herself. She’s got this energy. You’d just have to see it to believe it.”

“She sounds amazing, Ollie,” she sighed distantly then giggled, “Well, if she’s so pretty, where are the pictures? I need to see her! Need to see what this talk is all about.”

I chuckled in response, “I know, I know. I suck.”

“It’s alright. I’m sure it’s difficult, with you on tour and her...what does she do, exactly? Where is she from? Would I know her?”

Here came the long winded, shameful explanation of everything between Daisy and me. The feelings that weren’t feelings, the girl who wasn’t mine, the upset sea tumultuous between us. Her brother. Sam.

I tried my best, “Well, she’s working towards her counseling license. So, she goes back to school in the fall. But right now, she’s on tour with us. Her brother works- um...Sam’s her brother. She just wanted to do some traveling before getting tied down for the next few years.”

“Sam? Sam Hatlett? She's his little sister?” There was a bit of shock in her tone now like I imagined there would be. Sam was like a brother to me, and mum knew that. In fact, she loved Sam. She always had.

When she first met him, she’d pulled him under her wing like a mother bird, like she could just feel that he needed her. So, to imagine that I might go after his little sister is rightfully shocking. It was close to home.

“I know, I know. Again, I suck,” I laughed, though I felt so tense. Rubbing my neck didn’t ease the tension in my skin.

“You don't suck, darling. It’s just a precarious situation, I’m sure. How does Sam feel about it all? Was he weird when you first started dating Daisy?”

When I first began to tell my mum about Daisy, I doubted whether or not I wanted to be completely honest. But I easily fell into the comfortability of her warm conversation and realized I could not bend the truth. Not only did she deserve to know it, but she needed to. I knew, too, that she wasn’t going to judge me, tell me I was making a bad decision. It took three times with Fiona for her to begin voicing her opinion.

Above all, I didn't need to jump through any hoops to win her approval. I didn’t have to play a role, fill a part. I was me. And she loved that man.

I realized, subconsciously, that this was how I felt about Daisy, too. Comfortable. Easy.

Loved.

I explained things to my mom, carefully, making sure she knew of the endless boundaries Daisy always ensured we had and the sweet, delicate moments that made everything worth it. I nearly fell into myself, swept up in the reminiscent beauty of it all. God, I missed her, even if it had been only two days since I’d seen her. Her friend Sasha was in town and took up all her time.

I didn’t know what I was expecting my mom to say, so I held my breath after I finished saying, “But, I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s just a summer thing or what. We’re both kinda in weird positions, so we’re not too worried about that, I guess. We’re just...having fun, ya know?”

As the insecurity rose up my throat and choked me out, I sighed out the rest of the air I had in me and added, “We’re not, like, in love or anything.”

I hadn’t expected her to laugh, that’s for sure.

But she laughed. My mum giggled, like things were well and truly hilarious, like I had just told her a joke. I waited there in silence, waiting for her to make fun of me for being so stupid as to let this situation occur. Laugh at me for being terrible at love and life. There goes Oliver again, breaking hearts, getting his heart broken. He can’t even be in a stable relationship! Laugh, laugh, laugh.

She said, “You are crazy, Ollie,” but it wasn’t meant in a harsh manner.

It wasn’t condescending, it wasn’t mean. She wasn’t making fun of me. She was...she was laughing because it was funny.

“You are usually so good at going after things. I mean, look at you with your music, darling. I said no, how many times? I insisted you do something, anything else. I never supported you financially. I never...I never supported you. I was the odds you were testing yourself against and looking at you now! I mean,” her voice cracked. A sniffle followed. My muscles eased from the discomfort I felt into something that wanted to reach for her through the phone, hug her.

“I know your father and I didn’t give you the best example for love. I know we weren’t some movie star-couple that everyone always knew would last forever. We fought. We weren’t there for you when we should have been. Your father left you. And then I held all these stupid expectations up to you, to try to make you better. And you! You’re successful!”

“And I give you all the credit for that. You are...my pride and joy, Ollie. My life. I am so proud of you, darling. But it breaks my heart, still, that you have not been able to find happiness. That you must spend so much time repairing what I broke. We cannot blame everybody else- you can...you can blame me, Ollie. I know I am to blame. And that is okay.”

“So, forgive me for laughing, forgive me for calling you crazy and stupid and wild, darling, but- it's right in front of your face, Ollie! She’s right there in front of you. Daisy. Darling, if you’re still questioning what love is, what it’s supposed to feel like...please let me knock some sense into you! You are wasting so much precious time on believing that it can only leave. It doesn’t have to stay for long for it to be important. If she leaves at the end of the summer, you will regret not telling her.”

I didn’t have to ask her what she meant; what she knew I’d regret not saying. I knew it, I knew it as well as I knew Daisy’s face, even more clear in my memory now.

“You can beat around the bush some more if you’d like, or you can carry on with this facade you’re so deeply transfixed by. Darling, I know it’s hard to let the chaos subside, to let the goodness in, but as I am getting older, I am realizing that it is bright. It is...comfortable. It is good. You deserve to have a lifetime of that. Don’t waste any more time, Ollie. Please tell her, please let her tell you. Please just...hold what you have.”

I had borne a hole into the wall, but snapped out of my still position when I felt a tear roll down the side of my nose. “H-how? How do I tell her?”

“However you need to,” she chuckled lightly. “Although, here’s a hint, Ollie: you are in the City of Love. Take advantage.”

I knew our call was ending and didn’t know when we’d get to speak again. So, like she had told, I took advantage of the moment and I held what I had; “Mum, just so you know,” my voice came out as a whisper, a gentle patter of rain on the roof.

“Yes, Ollie?” she whispered, too, like there was a gentle card deck stacked between us. I think maybe there was- I think there was always some sort of tension lingering from the harsh moments we’d beat into each other; the fighting, the leaving, the crying. I don’t think she ever felt like I’d forgiven her, as if I really needed to. She had been growing up, too, after all.

“I love you, you know that?”

“I know, baby,” I felt relieved that there was a smile in her tone, “now, go. You have some more dreams to chase down. And, Ollie?” “Yeah?”

“Get some pictures for me.”

I was lucky that, the next day, everyone was busy with their own plans on opposite sides of the city. So Daisy and I were able to spend some time together, outside of this drywall prison. I was a pretty good listener, too, and remembered all the spots Daisy had gushed about seeing in the little time we’d had together these past few weeks. I was being given the perfect setup to do what I needed to do: we were going to be alone, in the most romantic city on planet Earth. I could finally tell her how I felt.

Of course, so much of me shook with anxiety. What if- she didn’t feel the same way? She didn’t want to risk it? She didn’t want to commit to someone this close to school? Let alone someone who lived across the world from her? These weren't my only fears. There were so many revolving around my career that I could’ve drowned beneath their weight.

Yet, each time I looked at her, I was anchored to her shoes. I couldn’t drift out to sea. I was grounded. Though my fears about how she would react sank, it took another amount of effort to get the words out.

I could’ve done it right away, gotten it out there, cleared the air, so we could enjoy each other even more. That would’ve been the best way: I would've gotten answers, started the day out on the right foot. But, when we got out onto the streets, I was swept up in the busy buzz of the crowds. It was loud in the cafe we grabbed breakfast at, loud on the sidewalks, overly crowded by the river. We finally found a place to sit, breakfast sandwiches and drinks in hand. Though there were still throngs of people all around us. So what good was the City of Love when it was full of ignorant tourists?

The anxiety of what I wanted to do was making me feel grumpy. I shut down a little bit, unable to really engage in much conversation, let alone tell her how I felt. I think it just looked like exhaustion to Daisy, so she didn’t really notice. I did- I was hyperaware of every short sentence, every avoided gaze. All of these people are going to be standing here when I tell her. They’re going to watch her reject me and they’re going to know. They're going to know I’m not good enough. She’s going to walk away from me, leave me stranded in the park, alone with my own rejection and denial. I’m not good enough I’m not good enough.

I thought about what my therapist would tell me, ways to snap myself out of this maladaptive pattern of behavior. My brain lies, she always said. It makes things up, creates false realities based off things others have said to me, or moments of true insecurity rooted in no sense of truth.

Daisy would want me, even if I wasn’t good enough. That was the one assurance I could tell myself to shake off the weary thoughts.

And if she didn’t- well, I don’t think thinking about that was going to help me very much. So, when we got back into the hustle and bustle, shopping around the city, visiting the sights, I opened myself back up.

I didn't know if I’d ever find the confidence. I was on the precipice again, after lunch, when I began spewing cheesy pet names as a sublimation for the words I needed to say. It shocked her at first, hearing such sweet things coming from me. And that stung a little. Was I that monstrous towards her that simple affections made her brows shoot up? Was I that bad? I repeated them once, twice, just so she really knew I meant it.

The day went on and on and I cowered in on myself even more. There were plenty more ample moments, but I just kept letting the clock tick down. I knew we were running out of precious time. If I didn’t tell her now, we would go straight back to secret moments in a hotel room, balancing on a tightrope, pretending like the moment the leaves changed color, we wouldn't be losing each other. I just knew Daisy wanted that about as much as I did.

Just when I was giving up hope, I found my moment, finally. Just after we had stopped to view the Eiffel Tower, some street side scam artist grabbed some pictures of us and was trying to convince me to spend $200 on the copies. At first, I brushed it off, until I caught a small peak at the images on his camera. Before he could spout another line, I was giving him $100. He gave me three photos.

Where my words may fail, these pictures couldn’t. You wouldn’t have to know Daisy and I personally to well and truly and see how infatuated we were with each other. I wasn’t even worried anymore that she wouldn’t want me. I was worried she wouldn’t want the risk, the jump, the caution of a fall.

These would be to convince her to leap. These had to be.

I stopped us outside the hotel, knowing if once we stepped inside, our memories might as well be cleared of the day's events. We would be going back to normalcy, to the real world. Our friends would be waiting there, we would allow the gap between us to grow. I would swallow my words and choke on them.

“I love you,” I pictured myself saying. “I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you, I love you in London, you in Paris, you at home. I love you from the hotel rooms we’ve indented to the streets we’ve wandered. I love you in the plane, on the bus, in every inch of this world.”

But it just wouldn’t come out.

I tried to encourage myself by thinking of who I was just a year ago. By thinking of how I was a year ago, the person I was dating, the situation I was caught up in. Fiona, the endless hours of fighting, of begging. Crying, screaming, the blood sport we played. Hunter and prey, me the victim and yet the one wielding the sword. I thought of Daisy when I first met her. The scent of her in my nostrils, like a clue that I was to hunt for as long as I could run. Of her in my teeth, when I first caught up to her incessant running. The satisfaction I felt, how disgusting that was. How horrible it was that I loved the taste of her blood on my lips.

And how much better I could breathe knowing that I had let go, that I had put my claws away and instead threaded a needle to stitch her skin close. How beautful that was- the beast retracting, the mask falling away. A true creature coming to light, renewed and willing.

Tears welled in my eyes. The words were there, finally, waiting just atop my tongue. She was leaning closer, clutching my hand, clutching those photos like a rosary, like she would sacrifice herself for me. I would, too. I would I would I would I would.

I think I hesitated a moment too soon, or I think she could tell what was happening. I think tha- that, I think that she was running again.

I think she wanted me to chase her or to stop, or she was placing traps in the woods, waiting for the wolf with a bow in arrow.

Because she was pulling away. And our friends were calling our names.

I didn’t have time to think, wrapped up in the swell of the arrival of our friends.

But I felt the death of the moment. It was heavy. It was rotten.

Later, I sat alone in my dressing room before the show, the photo I had kept between my fingers. I swear I could hear her breath, echoing from inside the paper frame of us. Swear I could feel her hands on my arms, grasping as though the wind would take us away from each other. Her lips on my cold ones, warm and fueling like a kindled fire.

I wondered if she threw the photos away. If she stared at them, with resentment. If she wanted to burn them.

Yet, I could’ve lived and died in that moment if I had to. If I was never able to tell her how I really felt about her, I’d be content to waste away, hanging on her lips like a vine, rotting from indecision and cowardice.

Eventually, Sam poked his head in to let me know it was time to go on. I flinched when he first spoke. It drew me back to reality in harsh, cold lighting. I drew the photo from my face, met his eye, and nodded.

I was lucky he didn’t ask any questions about my reserved response, though I knew he was aware that I was getting into character as this vessel. Part of me wished he had asked, though, if only to have someone to share the darkness with again, if even for just a second. And maybe outing Daisy and I to Sam would force me to tell her everything. Force some sort of decision to fall from the loitering hammer that hung above us.

Sam left. I set the photo down on the counter, not even thinking straight enough to put it away somewhere. Then, I hung the mask on my face, edges of my eyes darkened, just like my mind.

Part of me wished I didn’t even have to perform tonight. Every time I put on this disguise, I was reminded of those dark parts of me, the parts of me that were too much like this creature the costume made into. When I’d first come up with the character, I felt so strongly that I was just like Vessel- nothing but a pit of black, music transporting through me like some god had planted it there. I hadn’t been aware of my very real feelings. I just sat there, in that emptiness.

Things were different now.

Maybe I just needed a break from it all, from the costumes and the concerts and Daisy. Well, not Daisy. Not her. Just...everything involving her.

But never her. I just wanted her always, everywhere.

I didn’t get to have that, though, the break nor Daisy.

In fact, all I got was a slap in the face. When I went on stage, I spotted Daisy in the audience. For a split second, there was a lift in my heart, a fire in my bones. She was here. She hadn’t pulled away- she wanted me. She wanted me.

Then, as the lights flickered, I noticed the look of guilt on her face and the hand around her waist, She was here...with someone else.

I felt myself retracting, cocooning, not for growth, not for birth into something good, something with fluttering wings...but into that moth. Into that darkness.

Into that vessel.

In my fury, I laid claim to Daisy in all the wrong ways. I held her by the throat and let her dangle from my lips, reminded her how desparate she was for me, reminded her just how much she relied on my game. It had never been and never would be our game. I was the villain. I was the hunter.

She was my prey.

I was losing hope for my own reconciliation, for my own change. Maybe I would just always be detached, dark, monstrous. Maybe I would never be able to commit, to give in, to be someone’s something.

Maybe I was just this vessel, and maybe this vessel was just me.

Maybe I was never good enough for Daisy, but just enough to satisfy her furious need for that bad. And that was enough for me.

Things got worse when Fiona started blowing up my phone.

I wasn’t sure how she had gotten my number. I had changed it back in March, when I’d ended- really ended- things with her. And, with my career, it wasn’t like I’d just handed my number out to any person on the street. I had, maybe, ten contacts on my phone.

Daisy was one of the few I responded to.

But, somehow, someway, Fiona had gotten hold of my number and began blowing my phone up with messages. I blocked her the minute I noticed, after a show when I had time to get on my phone. Then, a few days later, she started messaging from a different number.

They were innocent claims- she kept saying I had left things at her flat and needed to come pick them up. But I knew her better than that. She was trying to use this to weasel back into my head, my heart. She’d convince me to come pick everything up and then, when I was there, she’d start crying. Start saying how much she loved and needed me. She’d convince her into her bed, and we’d start spiraling down into that same old waltz we both knew too well.

After I blocked this contact, I guess she evolved. She started using an unknown number, so I couldn’t even block the contact. I called my manager immediately and told him I needed to get a new phone number. Apparently, all the stores around us were closed for a few days, which just so happened to be my fucking luck. But he promised to get something for as soon as possible.

In the meantime, I just had to ignore her.

So, I booked a last-minute therapy appointment.

I glossed over everything with my doctor, telling myself that things with Daisy were hopeless. She obviously thought me to be disposable. I mean, I had watched how quickly she’d pulled away, how quickly she found another empty face in the crowd.

I didn’t want to admit that shameful situation to my doctor. I didn’t want her to know I’d let myself fall again.

Instead, we talked about Fiona, about the temptress knocking on my door. My doctor kept reminding me to, “Stay strong. Know your worth.”

Easy words for someone in a healthy, happy marriage.

All it would take was one more wrong look from Daisy and one wrong text from Fiona, and I’d end up back off the cliff.

So, I clung to the guys. Daisy had been...not so distant but detached. Cautious. She was taking the lead, so I followed. We still hung out, still fucked like we had been doing. Still had these meaningful, deep conversations that made me wonder, over and over, what the fuck was going through her head. But honestly, I now spent some of that extra time with Max, Cy, Adam, or Sam. We were due to begin working on the next album and I had plenty of ideas floating around in my head.

It was peaceful, quaint. Something I’d missed. Maybe I wouldn’t be ready to start dating again if something like this caused me so much stress.

Adam was texting me now, wondering if I wanted to hang out sometime this morning, talk about the album. I told him I’d let him know what time, considering Daisy was in my bed. And Fiona was blowing my phone up like fucking crazy.

The whole situation threw me off. She wasn’t really concerned about it, but made numerous, passive jokes about me having a secret girlfriend. I don’t know if it was because she really, truly wanted me to be exclusive to her, or if it was just something to do with her pride.

Signals were still mixed, even after we’d had a conversation about how committed we were to each other. Part of me wondered if it had just been an act, her agreement to never see anybody else, her admittance that she was, “mine.” If it had just been something brewed from the heat of the moment. But, when I answered the phone, set it back on the nightstand, I swear to God I saw something in her eyes shift, like she had been bothered at the thought of me with someone else.

Or it would be shitty in general if I was seeing someone else.

I weighed telling her, every single, how I felt about her. I don’t know that if I told her I loved her it would change anything. I had all but done so, and she still was unmoving. She still had gone and found that faceless nobody in the crowd.

Today, I felt like maybe I should. Tell her.

As soon as she had left, someone knocked on my door. I didn’t think it was Daisy, considering Sam would be waking up soon and she needed to get back into bed. When I looked through the peephole, Adam was there, staring over his shoulder sort of strangely.

“Hey, dude,” I started as I opened the door, then turned to make my way over to the bed where my book bag was. I reached in for my notebook, continuing, “so, I’ve got a few good ideas rattling around-” probably a few too many about Daisy, “that I wanna show ya.”

He slowly entered the room, shutting the door softly behind him, “Yeah, uh...” he approached me sort of hesitantly, distant confusion in his pupils, “I think we...should talk about something first.” He didn’t seem too sure of himself and the words he was saying were cautious. So, my tone slowed, hardened “What-what’s up?”

He finally met my eye and I felt like a sword had been shoved down my throat, “I just talked to Daisy...out in the hallway.”

I set my book bag down, hands having been frozen around the straps like someone cursed me into the stoic, icy position. All I could think to say was, “Oh.”

Adam nodded half-heartedly, “Yeah. Oh. I... don’t know what to say, really. I knew you guys had been...like, it was obvious. To me and I think Max, at least. Sam is kinda clueless and, he and Ronnie are totally sleeping with each other.”

Well, that was obvious. So obvious that I could have snorted, but I was too focused on the wild realization that everyone basically knew. All of that sneaking around, trying to be secretive- well, it didn’t fucking matter. And it didn’t seem like it really mattered that much.

“Are you gonna, like, scold me or something?’ I sat on the edge of my bed, running a wary hand through my hair.

“No, I’m gonna tell you that you’re fucking stupid.”

“What?” I looked up from the ground, shock widening my eyes.

Adam finally softened his expression and chortled, though it was short before he was in on me again, “You’re stupid, Ollie. I don’t think you’re doing it on purpose. I think you’re just...Fiona fucked you up. And I’ve watched you slowly start to heal over these past few months. Daisy has everything to do with that. And...she fucking loves you, dude. She thinks the world of you. And you’ve both, I guess, been dancing this dance with each other, walking around the whole thing. I just told her, like- stop thinking less of yourselves. You both deserve something good. You’re both worthy of each other. So, stop being fucking stupid and just tell her.”

My face was hot. I clenched my hands together, knuckles turning white as all these rampant, loose feelings released in my chest, in my head. “She doesn’t love me.” Adam chuckled again, “That’s a bold fucking statement. She just told me herself how much she adores me.”

“Well, yeah, she likes me, that’s obvious,” I waved him off, “she wouldn’t be sleeping with me if she didn’t. But...I think I’ve made it clear so many times how much I want her. And she, just, doesn’t care. Or she turns away.”

“She’s scared!” Adam exclaimed, making me flinch just slightly. “Sorry,” he spoke quieter, like he had shocked himself with his tone of voice. “She’s scared, Ollie. She’s...she doesn’t know who she is. That’s why she came here. That’s why she pulls away, why she seems unsure.”

“Well, I know that,” I scoffed, “I know her better than anyone. You haven’t seen the way she...how she denies it. I know she denies it. She denies us- me.”

“Okay, tell me,” Adam nearly popped a hip at this, a sassy tone overtaking his authoritative one. “Tell me how she denies, what she says and does that makes you think she doesn’t want you. Tell me that she doesn’t love you.”

I thought, long and hard. I could've mentioned the very recent time when she had been dancing with another guy, at our concert, a prowling look in her eyes. Or, of the time when I was on the brink of telling her how I felt, then she pulled away. Or-

Wait.

Am I fucking stupid?

I’m so fucking stupid. I am the dumbest, stupidest idiotic idiot to have ever existed.

It was all right there, clearing up now like I was wearing new glasses. I had a new perspective- I had an unbiased, outsider’s view of the world I had been suffocating in. And Adam’s view was- a breath of fresh air.

I was so obviously the one turning away from her.

From the beginning, I’d been denying her, us, for fear that she wouldn’t want me that way. For fear that someone would find out, for fear that I might die if she ever looked away from me. And I’ve been covering it up with the excuse that I was broken, or hurting, or-or...worthless.

I knew differently. I’d known it differently for a while now but had been unable to act upon this rationality. I was too emotional, too, in my head. And that made me seem manipulative, and asshole-ish, and- fucking stupid.

Adam watched me carefully, watched me as I processed these past few months. My eyes were narrowed, confused, though they widened as the information unfolded in my mind, as the notches clicked together.

“You’re…right.”

Instead of worrying myself with the evidence that she, too, was afraid, I felt my head flood with memories, as tangent on my skin as the cool air of my hotel room. Memories of her devotion, her promise, her love. Memories of us in the stale morning, sharing stories of her mother and that little apartment back in America. Memories of us on the roof, atop the world, atop the feeling, a private sanctuary where even just the flash of her eyes should have told me everything that I needed to know. I was going to tell her I felt the same. I was going to pull her up to the roof, one of our most sacred secrets, and pour everything out onto the barren concrete between us. And I knew she would say that she loved me, too.

It was delicate and I would have to handle it as such. Any sudden movement, and we’d be falling apart, all over again.

But, then Max was bombarding my hotel room, spewing some nonsense about Daisy and Ronnie getting tattoos. He was dragging us to Sam’s hotel room. I was practicing the lines in my head, over and over, a prayer.

Daisy was looking at me with these doe-innocent eyes, like she, too, was praying to some old god. Altering herself for a breath that he may resurrect what was dying between us even now.

I found more words, new words- lyrics, pummeling my skull in wondrous discovery. It was right there- everything was- My phone wouldn’t fucking stop ringing and I thought that I might explode into atoms. I ignored the call, watching as Daisy’s face fell each and every time that it did. She well and truly thought that I was seeing someone else.

Enough was enough.

I took a step towards her, fully intent on putting a rest to the strangeness and awakening what was already there. But, then my phone rang again.

And Sam began making some joke about Fiona calling me, a knowing, devious smirk on his features. He didn’t know- how could he know? I couldn’t be upset with him, but I wanted to strangle him into the carpet.

But I couldn’t focus on that anger for too long-

Because Daisy was leaving like we both always left, one too many times, in one too many silent glares of this something that we just may never get right.

The delicate threads of us bent and snapped.

#sleep token #sleep token x reader #sleep token smut #vessel x reader #sleep token x you #vessel x you #vessel sleep token #sleep token fanfic #sleep token band #sleep token iii

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deepdisireslonging · 1 year ago

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No Cum November Part 6: Dripping

The Reader is used in a ritual to summon the ghost that’s been terrorizing campus.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader x Sam Winchester

Warnings/Promises: canon-level danger, ritualistic SMUT, bondage, wax play, double penetration (split-roast), bukkake (of a sort… just, the boys get messy, okay?)

Word Count: 670

Note: Really had fun with this one. Whew! Let me know how you guys are enjoying the series, I love hearing from you guys. Happy reading!

Part 5: 2 AM Quickie

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Dean paused in tying the next knot around your wrist.

“You guys are gonna be here, right?” You breathed a sigh of relief as Sam nodded.

“The whole time. You remember how to get out of the knots?” He waited for your affirmative hum. “Good girl.”

It may have been just another run as bait for you, but this ghost was going to be summoned with your actual arousal. At first, the ghost had been summoned by the group of horny freshman with a book from the archives. Having found it during your excursion with Sam in the library a few days ago, the possessions and deaths had stopped. But, through trial and error, you three found out that the spirit was tied to the campus, not the book. Nobody knew of a potential grave. The only way to end it permanently was to summon it.

The team was happy to oblige.

Which is why you were currently tied to a desk with candles fluttering all around. The boys had taken turns massaging protective oil into your skin. Dean tied the last slip knot and nodded at Sam, who picked up a candle dripping with wax. He started to chant the summons. Drip by hot drip, he guided the weeping candle over your body. You hissed and writhed under the sensation, and under the gaze of the Winchesters. They watched your chest heave. How your thighs quaked. They panted in time with your mouth falling open to moan. After a few minutes of chanting with no response, Dean took his position.

He filled you slowly, accidentally dripping wax on your lower stomach. You arched, spearing yourself on him faster than he anticipated. He fell forward, stumbling in his words. Sam took over with the chanting, leaving his brother to take care of you.

Maybe the summons was working. Or maybe the way you twisted under the candle max was doing something to Dean. Either way, he gripped your hips tighter, pulled you onto him harder, needed more than ever to hear every way you could scream. His nails scraping up your stomach worked loose some of the wax, leaving ridges in their wake. Sam’s chanting stumbled. The sight of the wax remnants of Dean’s act resembled a way to claw into your skin like never before. He touched himself while refocusing on the chanting.

This was taking too long. Not that you could complain. But the ghost wasn’t coming. When Sam said as much, Dean didn’t hesitate.

“Be a shame to let such a pretty sacrifice go to waste.”

He continued to thrust into you, letting more wax drip around your breasts. Sam’s chanting of the spell switched to chanting your name and whispering filthy things that made your skin flush. You opened your mouth wide for Sam’s cock, happy to relieve some of the pressure he’d built watching Dean ravage you. Filled from both ends and covered in wax, you were too floaty to want to cum. When they needed to spill, the Winchesters added their cum to the ritualistic drippings already covering your body.

They helped you out of the knots. And massaged your joints that had been tied down. Dean wrapped you in the fluffy robe they’d brought after Sam wiped down your sweaty brow. They would clean you the rest of the way at the hotel. While Sam gathered the candles, you removed the tablecloth you’d used to cover the desk. Not a speck of evidence of the failed ritual would remain in the room.

Still, Dean needed to adjust himself.

“Dude, we just fucked her ten ways past Sunday, and you’re still hard?”

With a shrug, Dean grabbed the books. He held them to his chest, looking very much like a guilty student. He caught your eye. “Can we- for the bunker, we can buy candles, right?

You pulled the collar of the robe over your smile. “We can definitely buy candles.”

***

Series Masterlist

Part 7: Double Possession

#dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #winchester x reader #winchester smut #reader insert #dean winchester smut #sam winchester smut

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autumnvine · 1 month ago

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Movie Marathon

Summary: Tom wanted to have a movie marathon with you, unbeknowing to him you are afraid of all things scary.

Fluff/ Comfort

Word Count: 2380

Halloween was the worst day of the year, your paranoia slowly building, it made you feel uneasy, perhaps it was the costumes, hiding people who could be anybody walking past you, but mostly it was the practical jokes, jump scares and horrible movies. Every part of you wanted to skip Halloween pretending it doesn't exist hiding safe upstairs in your bed away from the door being pounded upon by anyone in the vicinity. But you couldn't do that to Thomas, he loved it, for him, it was like accepting the inner child and eating so many sweets, he loved Halloween with you and he always insisted upon a movie marathon, of course, you never told him how you felt about it or he wouldn't continue with it.

"Have a good shift my love" Tom quickly kissed you handing you your bag as you left for work, kissing him back you turned and left, choosing not to participate in the annual office Halloween party, instead you wore your blue pinstripe suit and white shirt and black stilettos. Walking in coffee and bag in hand bumping the door open with your back, your stomach tightened as you walked along the halls observing women use Halloween as an excuse to wear little to nothing to impress other colleagues, shaking your head and lowering your gaze until reaching your office, spinning your desk chair around to find Skellington eyes popping out of its head, shrieking rather loudly making a fool of yourself, throwing coffee everywhere, "This isn't funny" shouting to your colleagues as you removed their practical joke from your chair. Opening the top drawer again shrieking as a red glowing-eyed spider stared through your soul, "Enough" picking it up and throwing it in the bin covering it with some crumpled paper so you weren't looking at it all day.

Hours had passed, and your day started a little rocky but seemed to have been very productive, you had almost finished each assignment, just some more hours it would all be done, "ma'am can I get you something for lunch, I'm on the deli run?" a sweet new intern asked, gently peeking her head around your door, ordering a cheese and pickle sandwich with a caramel iced latte you got back to work, the longer you stared at the screen, typing away, exhausting your fingers to the max lunch was practically inhaled, you didn't have time for a break just wanting to get finished and return home to Tom, the lucky charming man was off today.

Taking some books, some borrowed materials, files, and of course your finished assignments down to the main office, turning the light on you felt something cold touch your hand, screaming and shouting you flung the papers everywhere, making a huge mess. "Hey, hey, hey, Yn calm down it's just me, it's Sam" Sam was the planner of the office Halloween party, he was to blame for all of this. "I didn't mean to scare you that bad I'm sorry, let me help you" he offered but you refused, insisting he'd already done enough, to just leave the light on and go. Scrambling on your knees through the embarrassment and mounds of paperwork trying to reorganize the files, making sure each page went with the proper assignment. The light above your head once again turned off and hearing a slam behind you, turning to see the door closed shut, screaming at the top of your voice, for a full five minutes before the sweet little intern who picked you up lunch came in, opened the door and let you out. "I'm sorry I didn't realize someone was here," she said all startled and flustered. Abandoning your paperwork, and grabbing your bag you ran.

Running through everything, the party, the people, the horrible decorations, reaching your car nice and safe. Calling Tom to let him know you were on your way home, requesting he jump into his comfortable pajamas as you were going to do the same, cuddle up on the sofa and spend the night safely wrapped up in his arms.

Your house was in complete darkness, perhaps Tom was in the bedroom, it faced the back of the house, gathering your belongings and closing the car door, the orange flashing lights of your car were the only light to be seen. Hearing something snap behind you, spinning in your heels, but nothing there, brushing it off and continuing walking, Keys unlocking, door knob turning, looking over your shoulder once more to check on what you thought you heard. Finding nothing, you walked in shouting at your husband, no answer, "I'm home" calling out a little louder, closing the door behind you.

"Tom" questioning whether or not he was home, if he went out at night he usually left at least one light on for you. You felt like you were holding your breath the entire time, just going to flick the switch. No power. "Great" muttering to yourself, turning on your phone torch and leaving the house once again to check the outdoor breaker box, Tom was standing with a small torch in his mouth trying to hold open the paneling and fix the switches, you admired Tom's long brown curls resting just below his shoulders, he did look like Loki sometimes. Asking what had happened Tom turned to face you, "Hello darling I didn't hear you come in the drive I'm sorry, it just fused, don't worry with a few alterations we should be up and running again in no time." It was no time at all, Tom the genius he was managed to get the power back, the house lighting up like a Christmas tree.

Getting settled and ready for Halloween night Tom had proposed a movie marathon, Expecting to watch your usual Pretty Woman movie followed closely by Runaway Bride you agreed. Tom however had something else in mind. "The Conjuring" title appears on screen. Breathing deep and shifting your body closer to Tom, lifting your feet from the floor to the sofa, draping a blanket over you both being sure to wrap it around your feet. Tom put his arm over you pulling you close into his warmth, his chest smelling amazing amazing as always. Gently kissing your forehead, running his hand through your hair. In that moment his heart was at its fullest, the love of his life finding comfort in his embrace.

So far the movie was going well, with a few jump scares here and there, the scene with the woman in the wardrobe made you hold tighter onto Tom, as he did you. After the movie was over you felt relieved knowing it was just the one. The second movie Tom had lined up was far worse "Grave Encounters "

"I've never seen this before is it scary?" Worriedly asking your protector

"All movies are fake my darling, there made by actors just like me, with some CGI and Special Effects, nothing to be afraid of., However, I'd close your eyes to the ending if I were you"

He had a good point, it was all fake, just actors dressing up, wearing makeup, attached to ropes and cable lines for illusions, and everything would be fine.

The first half of the movie seems to be going well, a group of friends making a documentary in an old abandoned hotel, making jokes, fooling around, jumping some fences and climbing through a window to gain entrance to the hospital. The film crew made their base station, creating a code to signal for help should any problems arise, rolling out sleeping bags and having laptop stations managing static interference with the readings from the spirit monitors. Slowly the group took to the stairs, the main character whispering the readings from the spirit monitors, leading the film crew towards to hallways and lead nurses' station. SLAM the door at the far end of the corridor shut. Making you jump once again tightening your grip on Tom's t-shirt for protection. He rubbed your arm gently tracing his fingers up and down. "I got you" he whispered into your ear placing a kiss on the top of your head, helping you relax a little.

The cameramen changed direction to check out the slamming of the doors, "It's locked" whispering to one another as it wouldn't open. SLAM a door further up the hall closed tightly. You could hear your heart pounding throughout your ears, Tom had no idea how much you hated horror movies or Halloween.

"You're frightened aren't you?"

Shaking your head in response "I'm alright I promise"

The movie had calmed with its jump scares, leveling itself out, and your heart returning to its normal rhythm after a while. Your eyes growing heavy toward the end of the movie, you were fighting so hard to stay awake for Tom,

"Darling, would you like to finish this another night?"

"No, no it only has half an hour we can watch it"

"Okay, but if you change your mind it's alright"

Back to the movie you thought as the ghost catchers making the documentary had now been in the hospital for 48 hours, each one becoming more and more disoriented by the minute. "Alright guys let's head home, we got enough research, let's get out of here" The lead character had said to the others

"Which way?"

Walking endlessly through the halls, halls they had most certainly come through previously

"There, the green exit arrow!" the men began running, more slamming of the doors traveling up behind them, "RUN!" they shouted together, the green arrow leading to a chained-up door "CRAP!" he shouted as the man tried to pull off the chains, a pair of hands grabbed the ankles of the cameraman dragging him into a patient room, the other man holding the mic buffer was grabbed by a pair of arms through the wall as if getting swallowed from the paint.

"It's not real," you thought to yourself. Your breathing sped up as you watched the last remaining man run for his life through the halls that were becoming longer and longer, unable to find a way out. More banging chasing him up the hallway, SLAM, your whole body shifted into Tom, your eyes screwed shut against his chest, trying to bury yourself between him and the sofa,

"Darling" Tom whispered as he turned off the film

"You're alright my darling, it's gone now I'm sorry I never meant for it to frighten you." A few stray tears dripped onto his favorite blue t-shirt, trying to compose yourself from the film, Tom held you tight in his arms, rubbing your back gently shushing you, whispering sweet kind affirmations of love,

"I'm sorry, I'm okay, do you want to watch the ending?"

"Absolutely not darling, I'm so sorry I didn't realize how scary it was, would you like to go to bed and we can lay down?"

Agreeing you went upstairs into bed, Tom the poor soul felt horrible for frightening you, cuddling into him in bed the warmth rushed up through his body onto yours, your head laying softly upon his chest and your heavy eyes closing more and more with each blink.

Tom hadn't yet fell asleep instead stayed awake enjoying watching you sleep so peacefully, it had been hours before Tom finally fell asleep himself, holding onto you, not once thinking to move into a comfier position for his back. In the very early hours of the first November morning, Tom stirred from his sleep, disrupted from his peace by shaking and screaming coming from beside him. You were having a nightmare, softly sobbing, tears rolling down your cheeks, shouting NO over and over again. Sitting up Tom gently shook your shoulders whispering your name trying not to startle you too much, after a few attempts, he ended up raising his voice slightly, shaking your shoulder a little harder, saving you from your nightmare.

"Tom" you could barely put the three letters together, sobbing as the tears streamed uncontrollably down your face. Tom tried calming you down, but it was like a part of you was caught in a nightmare, awake but unaware of your surroundings, turning on the bedside lamp, revealing your tear-stained cheeks, hyperventilating on your shared bed was not how this was supposed to go.

"Darling listen to me" placing your hand to his chest. "You are safe, you are okay, you are in bed with me, nothing will hurt you, nothing is going to get to you, I'm right here, you are safe darling, take some deep breaths"

you did as he showed you, "That's it, love, you are alright, just deep breaths. You're doing so well my love."

Coming around you realized you had woken your love from his sleep, you mentioned to Tom to go back to sleep, and you would lay on the sofa for a while, he of course refused the offer politely, cuddling you instead. Holding you close and taking care of you.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

Taking a deep breath before staring "I was trapped in a room, I couldn't get out, there were no doors nor windows, the curtains were on fire, the walls were red hot, a thich dark void overhead, I couldn't get out of there." tears pricking your eyes once more.

"Darling that sounds horrific, you're safe now, everything is alright, there is nothing to be afraid of here, nothing to worry about that pretty little head of yours. Now, how about you go back to sleep, get some rest, I'll watch over you I promise" Shyly nodding you lay back down, tom wrapped the duvet over your shoulder and let you rest your head on his chest once again, listening to the gentle beat of his heart, closing your eyes, peacefully falling back asleep.

Taglist

@plutoispurplw @bowarrowz

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddelston x reader #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddelston imagine #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x yn #tom hiddelston loki #tom hiddleston x halloween

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admirationandromantics · 3 days ago

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Gettogether

Chris Hartley x reader!

An idea that came to mind. The day before the disappearance of Hannah and Beth. You and Chris have a thing for one another, and it escalates. The original idea was putting eyeliner on him, and I had so much fun writing it!!

PS! Involves drinking and sexual themes (18++)

Word count: 1,7 k (Unedited!)

Everyone is laughing while sitting in the uneven circle. Emily and Jess went to the kitchen a while ago and are still gone. Jess was the first to stand up, a mischievous look plastered on her face. Her excuse was mixing a new drink, and she forcibly dragged Emily with her while laughing. I don’t know what they’re planning, but it must be good since I occasionally hear loud snickers coming from them.

While the others talk I glance over at Chris. He’s sitting at the other side. Not on the sofa, but below it, using it only as back support. In his hand is his fifth beer. At least not less than that. He’s wearing a dark green sweater, which suits him perfectly, curving at the best angles. Suddenly he brings his eyes up, meeting mine. A bit of blush covers him, but I’m probably just seeing things. Shit. I look away quickly, not feeling the heat on my cheeks. I do know it's there though. Luckily, the dim light and alcohol makes it almost impossible to see, I hope. In the corner of my eyes I see Josh whisper something to him, and they both look at me. I need some air, or at least a reason to get out a little. The storm outside is not slowing down, and is said to be even stronger tomorrow, so I wouldn’t dare to actually go outside. For now, I’m keeping calm. I should just try to join the conversation.

Mike is talking about his latest occurrence at the gym. He was apparently hit on by a girl, and it was quite an ordeal. While he’s talking I notice long stares shifting between Sam and Josh. I automatically smile and signal to Ashley and Beth to look. They notice and then both look at each other. We have to do something. Before I get an idea, Hannah turns beside me, looking strongly at my face. I stiffen, and give her a look.

“Everything okay Hannah?”

She loosens up, laughs a little.

“Yeah yeah, sorry”.

She shifts before moving her hand up to her own face.

“Your mascara is a bit smudged, want me to fix it for you?”

Oh. I haven’t touched up my makeup since I put it on in the morning. I thank her, but tell her how it probably all needs to be fixed, so I would do it quickly in the bathroom.

“Let me know if you need anything”.

“Thanks Han!” I shout while walking up the stairs.

I hear whispers behind me, but can’t make out what they’re saying. Instead of trying, I quickly get my make-up bag from my room and go to the bathroom. My mascara is not a bit smudged. It’s very smudged. How didn’t I notice before? I clean it up before deciding to redo both my eyeliner and mascara. The highlighter is still going strong and I have a hint of the eyeshadow present. I will only take three minutes max.

Right before completion, Chris burst into the room. I give a screech before covering my mouth.

“Gosh I’m incredibly sorry” he says with hands covering his eyes. My heart rate slows and I give a giggle before walking over to him and pulling his hands down.

“I was just wondering if you wanted some company?”

“No other reason for coming here?” I ask while walking back to the mirror.

“Well, I don’t know, maybe” he mumbles. I can’t make out the rest as he sits down on the chair beside me. I complete the last part of my makeup before looking down at him.

“You’re really good at that” he says while pointing up at the mascara wand.

“Do you know what this is?”

A long silence falls, and before I can tease him, he says it’s for the eyes. I smile at him while he’s sitting there, very proud.

“Do you want some?” I ask, taking out my eyeliner pencil from the bag.

“Me? Absolutely not, I’m not putting that junk on my face”

My eyes narrow a bit, and he quickly follows up.

“But you look great though, beautiful, hot, sexy everything you know, just…”

As I get closer, he gets up from the stool and backs away.

“Hey hey, I told you I didn’t want any of that”

I get in front of the door, locking it.

“You didn’t just do that”

“I believe I did”

“You’re gonna pay if you put that thing on me”

“Oh please” I plead. “Just a little on the undereye, you would look dazzling”.

“Nope, not a chance”. I think about the rest of the night, trying to remember something that I can use. I know.

“Think of it as a form of payback for scaring the shit out of me when you walked in.”

He smirks. “Payback?”

“And you thought I was naked for a second as well” I hurriedly add.

“Damn you, fine. But only this time”.

Chris is a funny and smart man, but thank goodness he also has integrity. I take his arm and lead him down to the floor. I have to release him as soon as he gets where he’s meant to be. I can’t help thinking about what’s under his clothing. He’s strong, I know he is.

With his back against the bathtub, I carefully sit down on his lap. His breath stops for a moment, and I quickly lift myself up from him again. My own breath holds, and I look away. Boundaries, I seem to forget sometimes that we’re just friends.

“Sorry, it’s just easier this way, we can do it some other way if you want.” As I turn around I feel his hand grabbing mine, dragging me down on him again. Both his hands are placed on either side of my hips.

“No it’s fine, really. I was just surprised.” His grip is firm, and I can feel my face heat up once again. He takes my expression as a sign to drag me closer to him. Chest to chest. My breath is uneven, and I notice a faint blush on his cheeks.

“So, are we gonna do it?” he asks. I’m stumped.

“Wait what?”

“With that scary sharp thing you’re going to put in my eye”. His comment takes me out of my trance, and I give a genuine smile.

“It’s not going inside your eye, just under it” I laugh, and he looks down. He shares my laugh before quickly taking hold of my waist, getting my face closer to his. His breath is on my chin. I’ve never felt as hot as I do now, like I’m steaming. He looks down at my lips before returning to my eyes. Then, in a swift motion, I meet his lips. My arms automatically go over his shoulders and in his hair, whilst his take all over my back, pressing me even closer if that’s possible. The kiss is warm and wet, and it doesn’t stop. I barely get any small breaks for breathing, making my head go a bit dizzy. I feel euphoric, and I can’t believe it’s actually happening. In the small breaks, he manages to make out a few words.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this”. I mumble a little ‘me too’ back, as I feel his fingers on my skin, under my shirt.

“Fuck” I mumble, getting even hotter. How am I suppose to take this? And on the bathroom floor?

“Chris?”

“Mhmm?”

“Where is all this confidence coming from?”

“Pent up energy”

He starts kissing my neck, moving down to my collarbone.

“And some drinks of bravery”

“Got it”

He finds my spot, making me moan out his name. As we’re going on, I suddenly hear faint voices.

“I told you it would work”

“I’m the perfect matchmaker”

I pull away. Chris looks confused, breathless, and needy, looking up at me with pleading eyes.

“Wha-” I stop him with my hand. I know who it is. Tucking down my shirt, I quickly open the door and catch Josh and Hannah with their ears against the wall. I cough. Loudly. They both turn at the same time with completely different reactions. Hannah slowly backs away before running down the stairs, while Josh faces me with a smirk.

“I told you he liked you, but you didn’t believe me,” he says. I give him a confused glare in return.

“You know, I’m the reason this happened, I’m the perfect matchmaker.” he looks through the door, winking at Chris, who rolls his eyes.

“I just had to make sure something happened, and knowing how skittish you are made it a perfect bonding moment”

“Josh, what the h-”

He interrupts, “But at the same time, if something were to happen, it can’t happen in there. We got people who want to use the bathroom tonight”.

I can’t do anything but nod. The mood is ruined anyway. Chris appears behind me, one hand used for leaning against the door.

“Dude, we had like, a moment”

“Yeah bro, and I’m sorry about that, but just do it somewhere else” he winks before walking away, joining the others. I then feel a hand going up my side, turning me around. I look up at him, and his perfect sweet face.

“We should probably talk about this before we do anything.” he whispers. I nod in agreement.

“Though, we’ve both been drinking, so this isn’t the time” I add. He smiles down at me, taking my face in his palms before lifting my chin.

“What about tomorrow?”

“That sounds good” I turn around to join the others while taking his hand with me. I’m stopped by him and dragged into his embrace.

“But, we could also just go to my room” he whispers against my ear. I think about it. I truly want to, but Josh kind of ruined it.

“Isn’t the mood kinda low right now?”

“Let me show you how good I am at picking up the mood then” he says, tracing a finger down my neck. Fuck he’s good. I grab ahold of his hand, dragging him with me.

“Wait wait, that’s all it took?” he asks, clearly confused.

“Yep” I reply. “Especially when you look like that and talk in such a manner”

“I had a whole thing planned, like, you know, stuff and things like that”.

“Use them next time”

“Will that be later tonight?”

“Of course”. As we’ve agreed he locks the door and turns around. Before I know it, I’m slammed against the bed, him immediately going on top and kissing me.

“I could do this all night” I say between kisses.

“Good, cause we’re gonna”

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hearthouses · 2 months ago

Note

🔪💄

🔪 - Sam and Dean Cope With Their Hell Trauma Through Kinkplay

Sam pulls out a knife; shiny, glinting off the overhead light, sharpened edge dangerous in his hand. Dean likes the way his fingers wraps around it, how it fits in his hand, like it was forged for him—that's a dark thought, a more fucked up thought than usual, going down a rabbit hole Dean isn't ready to travel to the end. He pushes it down, drowning the way his guts twist and turn, squirming as he tries to put away the visceral memories of guts and sinew and bone. When he settles, all that's left is Sam has a knife and how much that turns him on.

"Do you want to use this on me?" Sam asks. His voice is deceptively soft, but there's no uncertainty in it. He turns the blade over, passes it between his hands, before letting it come to rest on the table.

Dean blinks, looking between his brother and the knife, as all the thoughts that flooded his head start to fade, an unease settling over his skin. "Come again?"

"You can use this on me," Sam says, pushing the knife across the table. “If you want.”

Sam holds his gaze, unflinching, his fingers tracing over the scar on the palm of his hand, rubbing back and forth; Dean remembers pressing in, tearing the stitches he put there himself, Sam’s blood pooling out under the bandage, staining Dean’s skin.

"Sam, what?" he asks, though he is catching up now, his mind following Sam’s wavelength, shuddering when he looks down at the knife.

His brother's mouth curves into a smirk. "When you fuck me," he says, blunt, as if that's a sentence that should be strung together. "You can cut me with the knife.”

💄- Slow Exploration into Dean’s gender identity via kink with Sam helping him and encouraging him

The lingerie is pure. virginal white with creamy undertones, the material soft and buttery to the touch, etched in lace and set in crystalline beading that catches the light, sparkling. Dean bites back a whimper when he strokes it, running his hand over the seams with his fingertips. It’s too nice—too pretty—for someone like him, with his calloused edges of his hands catching on the lace. Dean isn’t sure he’s ever handled such expensive material—he knows Sam must have maxed out a card to get this, a ridiculous expense, but Dean can’t bring himself to scold him. Dean shivers, trembling all over, tensing his muscles as he tries not to show how frayed his nerves are.

He can't think of anything to say.

"I want you to wear it," Sam says, eyes on Dean as he looks into the box at the delicate pieces laying on top of the tissue paper it was wrapped in. Sam’s voice is rough, low and rumbling, deep in the back of his throw. It sounds filthier than usual, crawling over Dean’s skin. "For me,” he finishes, softer, more pleading, sounding younger for a flash—please Dean, for me, Sam eleven, twelve, echoing in his head, asking Dean, please, just this once.

It fucks with his head, pingponging back and forth through time, so he settles his gaze on the Sam in front of him: grown, broad, and bigger than Dean. His eyes betray him, Sam looking across at Dean with careful hope and gentle encouragement.

Dean picks up the box, proud of himself for holding it steady. “Do you want me to get changed here? Or can I go into the bathroom?”

Send me an emoji and I'll write five lines of any of the following WIPs and share them

#alaynestone #replies!#sam x dean #wincest #samdean #wip meme #words on screen

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imawreck · 3 months ago

Text

Consequences

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x Original Character

Summary: Bucky regains consciousness and has to deal with the aftermath of his choices.

Author’s Note: Sorry for the late chapter! Had to finish editing.

Warnings: self hatred, lots of angst, drama

Word Count: 5,236

Max-

Sam had taken a seat farthest away from Winter on the sofa, trying hard not to look intimidated by the soldier. I sighed, nodding to Tony before I made my way over and sat beside Winter to separate him from Sam.

Winter glared at the man over my head as I picked up the remote and flicked through the TV settings. Sam had this shit eating grin on his face, "So, Grumpy is even grumpier huh? That's really too bad. I was looking forward to making fun of him today."

Winter's metal arm whirred from its spot against the back of the couch just behind my head. He was tense beside me, but he had averted his attention to the screen display in front of us as the movie started up.

I sighed in frustration along with him, "Don't tease him, Sam. I might not stop him if he decides to try and strangle you."

My statement elicited a glare from Steve and a nervous chuckle from the man seated besides me. Winter's arm brushed against the back of my neck and I could feel the heat of his body rolling off of him from where I sat a foot away from him on the couch.

Sam gave a nervous chuckle, "Come on Snowflake, lighten up a bit." He shot me a wink which I rolled my eyes to in return.

Winter's arm whirred again, and subtle clicks echoed through the room as he shifted closer to me, reaching his arm around my back and slipping his cool fingers over my hip before he pulled me flush against his side. I widened my eyes in surprise as my gaze shot up to stare at his face. Winter wore a blank mask, but his eyes stormed with restrained anger. His arm was comfortably secured at my hip and I was practically folded into his side as far away from Sam as possible.

Winter's eyes pierced into Sam from where he sat, and Sam practically melted into the couch under the heat of his gaze. I flicked my eyes between the two before reaching for Winter's hand at my waist as subtly as I could, "Winter." His eyes dropped to mine and his lips pulled into a thin line. "It's okay, he's just playing around."

Winter's chest rose and he let out a huff of dismissal, turning his attention back to the movie playing. The sound was turned low, so we all went quiet to listen to it. None of us moved to reach for the remote. I could feel Steve's eyes on me as I shifted my hand back into my lap. Winter's fingers sent heat pulsing from where he touched, his warmth seeping into my bones where our bodies pressed against each other. He held me with a soft firmness, one I wasn't used to from Bucky or the Winter I knew in the past.

I've had a complicated relationship with Winter ever since I met him. Neither of us had ever confessed feelings or even spoke about them at all. It was something unsaid, something mutual that both of us simultaneously understood. He came to me when he felt like he was losing it, and I was there to put him back together. We had never been super into physical contact though, not until years into knowing each other. Even then, I was lucky to even be able to sit next to him without making him uncomfortable. Anything physical reminded him of the abuse Hydra would inflict on him. Which was why, now that he had pulled me against him like it was instinctual, I was reeling with the sudden change in him.

I could feel the heat crawling up my neck as my mind wandered, my thoughts racing with the possible reasons for his actions. It was almost unbearable when his thumb began to track slowly across the small of my back, back and forth in slow soothing motions. A shiver swept through me and I found myself relaxing into him despite the circumstances. Winter kept his eyes trained on the television as we all watched the scenes play out, but I had a feeling none of us were really paying attention.

After about an hour of sitting in silence, I spoke up. "I think you all have seen enough, there's obviously no danger here. I think it's time you give us some space so I can do my part."

Tony looked up from his spot he had taken on one of the side sofas and nodded, slipping his phone into his pocket as he stood. Steve stared me down as he rose from his spot too, his eyes narrowing between Winter and I as he made his way towards the elevator. Sam followed close behind them, shooting me a smile as a goodbye. Then it was just the two of us left. All alone.

I could feel Winter relax besides me as the stress of the room died with their absence. He still kept his gaze on the TV and his thumb continued to sooth my back. We both eased into the silence and watched as the movie continued to roll. The cowboys danced across the screen and shot their guns at cattle wranglers as they raced across a field. I felt Winter's shoulders rise and fall in a sigh besides me and I took a glance at him.

His eyes were already on me, bright and blue. I raised an eyebrow at him, "What?"

His brows pulled together a bit as he continued to look over me, "I remember things."

Now I was really intrigued, "What kind of things?"

"I remember this," His hand swept over mine, rough and calloused. His fingers laced with mine in a soft embrace. "Lots of lights, but I don't remember how we got there or why. I just remember feelings I don't... I can't describe it." Winter looked away for a moment in frustration, but quickly returned his attention to me, "Can you tell me what I can't remember?"

I nodded, startled by his sudden forwardness. "You and I... We went out to town together. We went to a carnival and played some games just to get away from everything. I don't know how much you will remember or understand. It's complicated." I was suddenly riddled with guilt. I couldn't tell him we went on a date, I wasn't sure how much would get back to Bucky when he woke up.

Winter nodded, seemingly a little more at ease but still confused, "I see." He glanced at the elevator behind us. "That man, the blonde one, he wanted to hurt you. Why?"

I took a breath, running my fingers through my hair before picking a piece and twirling it between my fingers at the base of my neck. "That's Steve, he's your best friend but you won't remember him I don't think. You two had a disagreement but you wouldn't tell me why, and Steve isn't a big fan of me. He thinks I'm bad for you."

Winter turned his body just enough for him to see my face a little better, "You aren't bad for me."

It was my turn to frown, staring into his stormy blue eyes. I knew he didn't remember a whole lot, he was more than likely making judgements on emotions and whatever scraps of memories he could collect. Still, I wanted to know why he sounded so confident when he said that. "How do you know?"

He stared at me for a moment longer, "I just feel it." His hand wrapped around mine gently and his warmth swept over me once more. He raised his hand and my own, planting it against his chest. Right over his pounding heart. "I know you aren't bad for me."

My face was alight with fire, and I couldn't help the smile that fought onto my face. I met his eyes, "Thank you, Winter."

He nodded, letting my hand go and turning back to the TV. I watched him out of the corner of my eye for a long while, waiting until his eyes drooped a little more and he fought to keep them open. It was late by now, but I couldn't gauge how late. I still sat right next to him, cocooned in his warmth and safety. I whispered just above the sound of the movie, "I'll take first watch tonight. You need to rest."

He shot me a look that told me he wanted to argue but thought better of it, nodding his head and shifting on the couch. He let his head drop against the back cushions and I frowned. "You'll hurt your neck if you sleep like that. Lay down, I'll move."

Winter didn't argue, shifting to lay down on the couch. His hair splayed out against the pillow as he looked up at me from where he lay. I felt the heat threaten to creep up my neck so I looked away, finding the rug quite interesting, "Get some rest Winter, I'll be right over here-"

Softer than anything, he whispered, "Stay with me.”

I stared at him with wide eyes, frozen in place by his statement. "Are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable…"

"You won't." He shifted himself to the edge of the couch, motioning for me to take the inside. I did so hesitantly, glancing at him once I had gotten comfortable. Winter eased himself onto the couch besides me, our arms brushing before he laid with his back to me. "Thank you."

I wasn't sure what he was thanking me for but I nodded to myself, deciding to just go with it. "You're welcome. Get some sleep, I have your back."

His shoulders rose and fell evenly after that, clearly slipping easier into sleep than he used to. Today must have warn him out. I sure felt fatigued. I let my mind rewind the day and play it over in my head. The fight, Steve's words, what Bucky would have to deal with mentally after he came back.

A lick of anger writhed in my stomach.

He had Banner activate the Winter Soldier without telling me. Wasn't I supposed to help him? I felt lied to, and a little betrayed he didn't let me in on his plans. Whatever he wanted from the Soldier, I could help him with. I knew I could. So why didn't he come to me first? Why take such a risk? I shook my head, throwing the thoughts out. It wasn't worth losing sleep over just yet. I'd have words with him later.

Just then, Winter shifted next to me. His body twisted uncomfortably before he wound up facing me, his heavy arm tossed over me. I stiffened, staring at his face mere inches from my own. His scruff had grown out some, and his features seemed abnormally smooth. He was always so serious, I nearly forgot how tender he really was. I gently maneuvered myself onto my own side, facing him on the single pillow decorating the couch. His shoulders were much wider than my own and blocked nearly all of my vision. Brown hair splayed across the pillow and framing his face gently in a way that accented his sharp jaw and dark lashes. He was beautiful.

I brushed a strand of hair away from his nose and tucked it gently out of his face. He didn't stir, calm as could be. I breathed in his scent, shutting my eyes and easing into the feeling of relief he brought with him. Winter's arm tightened around me, slipping behind my back and tugging me closer until my forehead was flush to his chest. I stared at the shirt he wore, the same as this morning, and struggled to breathe. Winter had never been this physical and it startled me how easily it came to him and myself to return it so quickly. This had to have something to do with Bucky knowing about me, maybe there was a connection stronger than we thought between his conscious and his subconscious mind.

I decided that I wouldn't move, he looked too peaceful to disturb. I forced myself to breathe, to relax against him. It wasn't as hard as it should have been and I took note not to let this go to my head. I shut my eyes once more, and let myself drift off to sleep caged in his arms.

_____

Bucky-

Everything felt fuzzy. My mind felt like there was a blanket of fog over everything, like I was looking through a sheet in my own head. I tried to move, but something was holding me down. For a split second, I felt the sick hot panic that came just before I woke up, but when my eyes opened my breath caught in my throat. The panic went away as quick as it came. White hair tangled with mine, and dark lashes brushed against rosy cheeks. Her breath was soft as it rushed out of her pink lips. Max laid just centimeters from me, her body pressed against mine as we lay on the couch. Her legs tangled between my own and her fingers were curled into my shirt. She looked so peaceful as she slept.

The sun was nowhere to be seen even though the room was practically made of windows. I took a moment to glance around only to be met with cold steel lining all visible walls. I figured it was due to triggering the Winter Soldier. I turned my attention back to the girl in my arms.

I did my best not to wake her, moving slowly to shift a her hair away from her face to get a better view of her features. Her head rested on my arm which had long since gone numb. I couldn't help but smile, she truly was stunning.

As I lay there with her, the memories of the night before began to resurface. The fight with the Avengers flashed in my mind first, the way Natasha had tried to knock me out. A subtle ache in my neck cemented the memory as a reality. Max had come then, taking them out one by one. Her strained voice echoed in my thoughts as it played out. I could hear the fear laced within it as she called out for them to stop. I frowned at my recollection, feeling the guilt begin to seep into my bones. I remember her trying to get my attention, to make me just stop a moment to realize what was happening. But she couldn't, not until she physically forced me to. I had hit her. That was enough to make me flinch.

My movements caused Max to stir, her eyes fluttering open and focusing in on my face. Her pupils dilated, and she smiled a smile so small I nearly missed it. "Bucky?"

It took me a moment to pull my jumbled thoughts together enough to respond, "Yeah, it's me."

There was a moment of relief that flashed across her face. Her eyes shined and her smile brightened just a little bit more before it all dropped in a flash. Her hands that were still tangled in my shirt shoved at my chest in a split second, replaced with a furrowed brow and pursed lips. Just like that, she had tossed me to the floor.

"James Buchanan Barnes, you sorry sucker!" Her white hair was dangling in my face not a moment later, and her eyes pinned me in place with a fierceness I hadn't seen in a while. "How could you do something like that and not tell me?"

I sighed, forcing my eyes shut. "I just didn't want you to be worried."

"Seriously? I could have helped you, stupid! It's more worrisome when I get a call from Friday saying you've gone berserk on the team!" She scoffed, disappearing back over the side of the couch. "Friday?"

The A.I. system answered swiftly, "Yes, Max?"

"Notify Tony that Barnes is back. Tell him to open the door." I knew I was in deep shit, she never used my full name and her tone was anything but happy.

"Right away."

I could hear her sigh from where I lay staring up at the ceiling. The guilt began to grow.

"You didn't even tell Steve! What were you thinking?"

I rose from the rug, leaning up on my elbows to peer up at her. She sat with her head laid back against the couch with it tilted towards the ceiling, her arm draped limply over her eyes. Max was dressed in the same thing she wore yesterday, minus my sweater. The dark colors made her hair a stark contrast against them.

"I wasn't. Steve and I aren't really talking right now. I figured he would just turn me down anyways."

Her arm dropped from her eyes but she didn't look at me. "Whether you and Steve are fighting or not, it shouldn't matter. If you don't want me involved in whatever you're doing, that's fine, but Steve should be there to protect you and the others. He's the only other one strong enough that can do it without hurting you." Max pushed off the couch. "I thought you and I were closer than this, Bucky."

I didn't know how to respond to her. I couldn't. I didn't know what I was thinking when I decided not to let her in on it. Maybe I was embarrassed that I wanted to remember her so badly. Of course I was, I risked everyone's life just to try to get even the smallest memory of her back. "I-"

"Save it." Max stopped right before the elevator doors. "I really can't hear it right now." Her voice was broken and soft. Barely above a whisper.

I watched her as the doors opened and she stepped inside. Her back was still facing me when the doors shut behind her.

_____

I had retired to my rooms for most of the morning after Max left. I didn't come out for breakfast and nearly skipped lunch if it hadn't been for Natasha who had shown up pounding on my door yelling about self pity. She told me to come out or she'd break my door down and I believed her. So, I ended up hauling myself up out of the corner of my room where I had spent the majority of my morning running though last night's events and contemplating what I should do to fix the mess I had made to return to the commons room and face the team.

All of them stared at me when I walked in. Well, all of them except for Sam and his ugly grinning mug. "Well I'll be damned. If it isn't Sergeant Grumpy come to join us once again. Can't say I didn't miss you."

I rolled my eyes, shooting him a silent look of irritation. Tony, who leaned against the bar next to the coffee maker, gave me a curt nod. I dipped my head in return and scanned the rest of the room. A wary Doctor Banner sat on the far couch like he did every morning with Natasha, both of which were watching me with varying expressions of caution. I didn't care to look at them too long.

Steve made a point not to look me in the eyes. He avoided even acknowledging my entrance at all. I sighed, the absence of his friendship was like an open wound. I made my way to the food all set out on the counter and made myself a plate, piling it all on and gunning for the fridge. I snagged a random bottled drink from the door and shut it with my heel, b-lining for my room once more. I shot a quick thank you over my shoulder as I left them all behind.

Lunch wasn't anything special today and I could tell by the plainness of it that Max hadn't bothered to come out of her rooms to cook for everyone this morning. I shoveled a spoonful of green beans into my mouth, thinking once more over all that had happened. I felt like shit. Max hadn't been in the commons room with the others and I knew she was still angry with me. No, she hadn't seemed angry. Well, not all angry when I had seen her this morning. She was sad too. I hated myself for making her feel that way.

I groaned, shoving my empty plate aside onto the side table and slumping down on the edge of the bed. What was I going to do? I had to apologize. To both her and Steve. It was pathetic that he and I were arguing over something like this. I was sure we could get past it if we both talked it out. Steve had a level head on his shoulders, and even if what I wanted wasn't what he thought was right, he would understand eventually. I just knew it. That's was just how Steve was.

I turned my head to check the time. Two sharp. He would probably be in his rooms if there wasn't a mission. Steve liked to have the afternoons mostly to himself to review files alone. I decided to head over to his room.

The hall was quiet enough that I could hear the pages turning from behind the door to his room. Strangely enough, my palms began to sweat and my heart beat a little quicker. I shouldn't have been nervous to talk to him. I raised my hand and gently knocked on the hard metal. A moment later, I was facing Steve. Staring right back into his hard eyes.

"What is it, Buck?"

I grimaced at his tone, "Could we talk?"

He stared at me a minute before blowing out a breath and opening the door completely. Once we were both inside and the door shut heavily behind us. I turned to him. "Look, I'm sorry for the way I acted. It's just, I don't understand why you're so against Max and I."

Steve raised an eyebrow, "You don't understand. You haven't ever seen her in action the way the rest of us have. She's dangerous, Bucky."

I frowned, "I'm dangerous too. I attacked all of you just last night, but you still keep me around."

Steve sighed, talking a slow seat on the side of his bed to look up at me with crossed arms. "She's different. None of us know her. We know only what she's told us and all of that could be a complete lie for all we know. I know you Bucky, I know what you're like and your agenda. I don't know hers or if she cares enough about anyone to have one. She's a loose cannon."

A flash of heat rippled in my stomach. "She isn't a loose cannon Steve, she cares about everyone on the team including you."

Steve scoffed and the sound grated against my ears, "She cares about you. That's it. She says it in the way she fights. Snow will do anything to make sure you live. It doesn't matter who stands in her way. She broke my nose to prove a point, cracked some ribs too. She tore Stark's suit apart like it was wrapping paper. That was how she was raised, her whole life's mission is to ensure you live."

I shook my head, "She was just trying to help me."

"That's the thing! She helps you. If you weren't a part of this team and you were still with Hydra, she would be too. If Hydra captured you, where do you think she would go?"

The silence was deafening.

knew where she would go, and so did he. Max had been watching me for longer than I knew. The memories that I had indicated that we were more than what meets the eye, and what she had told me over the time we had spent together had cemented my suspicions. "That doesn't mean she doesn't care about the team, Steve. Max has done so much to help us take down Hydra already, why do you keep focusing on her past? You never did that with me."

"That's because I know you, Bucky. I don't know her, nobody does! That's what I'm tryin to get you to see! Snow makes you lie. You didn't tell me about wanting to try to experiment with the Winter Soldier."

"That didn't have anything to do with her," I ground out. "You can't see how she makes me feel, Steve. You can't get over the fact she worked for the enemy just like me, and now she wants to get out of it. Max is not an enemy."

For a long moment, we both just stared at each other. There was a broken look in Steve's eyes as his lips pursed and the grip he held on his arms tightened. My hands hung limp at my sides and I scrubbed one over my eyes to wipe away the moisture collecting there. "I just wanted to apologize for what happened." I took one last look at him before I turned around and left, shutting the door behind me.

A wave of exhaustion swept through me after I had left. My emotions were a jumbled up mess and all I could think about was how guilty all of this was making me feel. Steve and I had hardly ever had arguments and if we did, they were never this serious. I didn't even want to think about how angry Max was with me. She had sounded so hurt when she left the commons room this morning. A pang shot through my chest at the image of her face that had branded itself in my head. I should have told her.

"Friday?"

"Yes, Sergeant Barnes?" Friday always sounded so calm.

I stared at the floor, "Where is Max?"

"Max is training in the gym," she replied.

I nodded, "Thank you, Friday."

I could almost hear a smile on the A.I.'s voice, "Of course."

I trudged to the elevator, riding it down to where she was in complete silence. My mind sputtered the closer I got to her. I didn't want to mess this up.

When the door opened, I could hear the faint sound of metal on metal. I peered through the glass windows that lined the training area and was surprised to find Max there, all dressed in black, throwing knife after knife directly into a target yards from her. There had to be a dozen blades sticking out of every target, and all of them were dead centered. Head and heart of every one of them.

Max's melodic voice trickled from inside. "It's brave of you to show up when I'm armed." I could tell by the chill of her tone that she was still upset.

I shook my head, opening the door and carefully shutting it behind me. She didn't turn to face me and instead continued to throw her knives at the targets. Each one hit with a resonating clang. Max had requested to use metal targets for a more challenging training, she had told Tony that the wooden ones fell apart too quickly.

“I'm sorry." I stopped just beside her as she drew her arm back, "I should have told you what I planned on doing, and I'm sorry that I didn't."

Max launched the knife through the air and it thunked into the head of the target. She spun on her heel without missing a beat, her white hair pinned up in a small ponytail at the back of her head, and her striking eyes met mine. They were steely and hard, almost as reserved as they had been the day we first met. "Why did you do it?"

There was the big question. "I..." I stared at her, feeling the way my heart lurched at the coldness in her gaze. "I wanted to remember you… like before."

After the words fell from me it was like they had physically melted the ice that had frozen in her. "You what?" I had never heard her voice so quiet, so vulnerable before.

"I wanted to remember you from before. The memories I have, they're only fragments. There's more to them than I can grasp and I want to know what it was like to know you before."

Max went quiet, her stormy blue eyes glossing over and her fingers tremble just slightly at her sides. I watched her with a heaviness settling in my chest, the feelings living inside of me that were both my own and something else pounded against my ribs to escape.

When she spoke, her voice was soft and soothing. Gone was the ice that had been laced through it just moments before. "Why didn't you just tell me? I could have tried to help you more."

I dropped my head, "I was embarrassed to tell you. I was afraid it would scare you away, that the fact that I was so messed up inside I couldn't even remember much about you. I mean, we just went on a date last night and…" I chuckled dryly.

Soft fingers delicately lifted my chin to meet her eyes. A hurricane of pain raged behind them and for an instant I felt like I would drown, dragged down into the depths of them. But then I was pulled back.

"You don't have to feel embarrassed about your feelings. Ever." Her hand dropped from my face back down to her side. "I am not so easily deterred. I know what you've been through." Max ran her hand through the end of her short ponytail, "I wouldn't ever judge you for that."

Looking at her and hearing her words, I suddenly realized how much of an idiot I had been in the last twenty four hours. Here was this woman standing before me, baring nearly the same scars as my own, and I was afraid to tell her how I felt. I fisted my hands at my sides and closed the distance between us, wrapping her in a hug. "I'm sorry, Max. It won't happen again, I swear it."

Max was stiff under my hold for a moment, but the longer I held onto her the more she relaxed, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and gripping my shirt. She buried her head against my neck and I felt her warm breath there as we held each other.

"I forgive you." The words were barely a whisper against my skin. I pulled away, admiring the way her lip quirked upwards in a small half smile. "I have quite a bit of time left to train if you want to join me." The teasing lure in her voice was back, and I knew we would be alright.

I smiled down at her, nudging her shoulder with my own as I passed. "I don't know if you can take me now. I've been trying some new moves."

A brow was quirked in my direction, "Is that a challenge, Tin Man?"

I squinted at her in disdain, "You've been spending too much time with Tony."

Max's laugh rang through the training room like bells and I found myself smiling all throughout the time we trained.

She won, of course.

Tags<3

@cjand10 / @imdoingathingmom / @blackbirdwitch22

#angst #bucky barnes #drama #fluff #marvel #winter soldier #mcu #original character #the avengers #fanfic

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sunnyie-eve · 10 months ago

Text

22 | Backfired

Series: Significant

Paring: Colby Brock x Original female character

Warnings: Accident that could have been death

Word Count: 2.2k

| MASTERLIST |

"What's up everybody the prank wars are still continuing. I've finally decided to get Penelope. She's been up in her room all day because she had a long shoot yesterday. So today I have a rodent glue with me and I'm going to put on the two steps on our staircase. I'm hoping when I call her down she's come running and get stuck on one then the second one." Elton sets up cameras to film her getting stuck.

"I'm gonna call her real quick." He FaceTimes her.

"You never call me what?" She asks confused.

"I need you downstairs it's Circa and something is wrong and she's not letting me near her. Help me please." He panics.

"Okay, okay." She hangs up rushing out of her room and as soon as she takes one step down, her foot gets stuck but since she was running full speed she takes a tumble down the stairs.

"Shit! Penelope!" Elton rushes over as she lays on the floor. "Penelope." He tapped her but she was knocked out and could see her head was bleeding a bit. "Guys! Help!" Elton calls out for the rest of the house.

"What?" Corey sticks his head out of his room.

"It's Penelope, she fell down the stairs. My prank backfired!" He shouts panicking.

"This isn't funny Elton." Aaron comes out as well.

"I'm not joking! Help me. Watch where you step!" He tells them know as a tiny pool of blood starts. "Fuck!" He stares at her as everyone comes downstairs.

"What the hell?" Sam rushes to her side, "This isn't a prank?"

"Penelope, come on. Wake up." Colby carefully touches her. "Someone call 911!" He panics not wanting to move her.

"I'm on it." Corey runs upstairs carefully to get his phone.

"What was the original fucking prank?" Colby looks over at Elton.

"Human glue trap. She was just supposed to get stuck not tumble down the stairs. That's what the cameras are set up at certain angles." Elton explains.

"Turn them off now!" Sam shouts going to do it himself.

When the ambulance arrives taking Penelope to the hospital, Colby goes with her while everyone changes to go to the hospital as well.

In the ambulance, Penelope opens her eyes finally looking at Colby, "You're gonna be okay. I'm not leaving your side. I promise." He tells her before her eyes shut again.

At the hospital, they ask Colby questions about what happened and if she had any family they could contact but he tells them that they still live in Kansas, so he'll call them but she lives with him and their other roommates. So at the moment if any choices would need to be made Colby had a say.

"Is she okay?" Sam finds Colby in the waiting room.

"They rushed her into surgery. Something about internal bleeding as well. As soon as we got here her heart rate dropped. I said all call her family but I want to wait till after surgery." Colby lets him know things.

The others show up and wait as well after Colby keeps them up to date. Colby sees the doctor finally walk towards him so he gets up and walks to him.

"Is she okay? Did everything go well?" Colby tries to stay calm.

"The surgery went well..."

"But?" Colby could tell that's what he was going to say.

"She still hasn't woke up yet. We gave her some time after the surgery but she still hasn't woke up like normally. We gave her, her own room to stay in. For this situation, I advise max of three guests in the room with her but when family comes it's okay if they are all in there."

"What room is she? I'm staying with her till her family can get a flight here. We grow up together so I'm not leaving her side." Colby tells the doctor so the doctor tells him the floor, room, and hall.

"Is she okay?" Devyn asks as Colby walks back to them.

"Surgery went fine but she's not waking up yet. They have her a room. Max guests in the room is three right now. I plan on staying here with her." He tells the group.

"I'll go home and pack you a bag for a few days." Sam sighs trying not to cry.

"I'll help you." Katrina takes Sam's hand into hers.

"I have to call her mom or Harper to let them know. So who wants to wait in the room for a bit?" Colby asks.

"I want to." Devyn raises her hand quickly.

"Okay, so you three stay here. Aaron, Sam, Kat, and I will go home. Just keep us updated." Elton messes with his hands.

"I will." Colby leaves with Corey and Devyn following him to Penelope's room.

Getting to the room the two let Colby go in by himself first to see her. Her IVs were in her arm, she had oxygen on her, and a broken arm as well. The sight just caused Colby to break down in tears. He tries his best to get himself together before letting Devyn and Corey in.

"I'm gonna call her mom." Colby goes out into the hall.

"Colby? It's odd hearing from you sweetheart, what's going on?" Victoria asks him.

"A prank at the house failed and Penelope's in the hospital. Her surgery went fine but she still hasn't woken up. Sam is packing me a bag to stay here with her till you guys can get here." He lets her know.

"Colby... Me and the guys are in Canada at the moment for Turner's competition but Harper is in Vegas with some friends so she can get there before me. I'll call her for you. I know you'll be with Penelope in the meantime. Thank you for letting me know." She ends the call so he goes back to the room.

"Her mom is in Canada and her sister is in Vegas so Vic is gonna call Harper to let her know." Colby tells the two.

"I need to go home. I can't see her like that." Devyn leaves the room crying.

"You gonna be okay?" Corey eyes Colby.

"I'll be fine, Corey. Like I said, I'll keep you guys updated." He tells him so he leaves while Colby sits on the sofa looking at Penelope.

When Sam brings Colby his bag he stays for a bit with Colby before heading home alone. Since there wasn't much to do Colby just made himself comfortable on the sofa watching TV, while keeping an eye on Penelope.

"Just in here to get her vitals." A nurse comes in.

"You guys probably have no idea but do you know when she'll wake up?" Colby asks her.

"Sadly we don't. We hope for not too long." She tells him then leaves the room.

"Please wake up soon, Penelope. I can't see you like this. I don't want to see you like this. I need you to wake up." Colby goes to hold her hand kissing the top of her head.

A few days passed and Penelope still wasn't awake yet. Harper hadn't been able to leave Vegas yet before she broke her leg and her girlfriend was in jail. Victoria was still stuck in Canada for Turner so Colby was still by himself with Penelope.

"Normally when you're in a not-so-good mood you listen to One Direction." Colby takes to Penelope putting on her playlist since Sam brought her phone as well.

Colby plays the music next to her and dances around the room singing along as Penelope just laid there.

There is no other place that I would rather be

Than right here with you tonight

As we lay on the ground I put my arms around you

And we can stay here tonight

'Cause there's so much that I wanna say, I wanna say

Colby gives up taking a seat in the chair he put next to her bed, "You know even when your family shows up I'm not leaving. Remember you're stuck with me so you actually have to wake up." He pokes her arm tearing up.

A knock at the door makes Colby wipe his eyes before Sam comes in alone, "Still nothing?"

"Nothing." Colby holds Penelope's hand.

"She's going to be okay, Colby. I believe in her." Sam takes a seat.

"I need her here Sam." Colby snaps.

"I know, we all do." Sam tries to calm him down.

"You don't get it! I think I love her... And you get what type I mean." Colby leans back in his chair.

"You think you love her?"

"Yes..."

A few days turned into two weeks till Penelope's mom finally made it with Turner and her husband Richard.

"She's still not woken up?" Victoria enters the room.

"I would have let you known if she woke up." Colby tells her.

"Since we're here now you can go home. Het some good rest in your bed." Richard tells Colby.

"Thanks but no thank you. I'm not leaving her." Colby tells him.

Richard was Harper and Penelope's stepdad while he was Turner's bio dad. Colby and the girls didn't care for him much since he talked shit about Matthew, the girl's dad, who passed away when they were 14 and 12 years old.

"Her family is here now and you're just her friend, Colby." He adds.

"Richard, Colby is fine staying here." Victoria gives him a look. "But Colby, please actually eat some good food. Go to the nearest McDonald's or whatever."

"Can I go with him?" Turner asks his mother.

"That's fine, honey."

Both boys leave quietly going to Colby's car that Sam brought and having Kat pick him up. "Is Penny going to wake up soon?" Turner asks Colby.

"I don't know. I'm hoping that she does, Turner."

"Has she shown any signs of waking up?" He asks making Colby hit his steering wheel.

"I'm sorry... No, she hasn't. I just don't wanna talk about it, Turner. I've just been in that room since she got here and every day I beg her to wake up." Colby apologizes to the sixteen-year-old.

Turner looks at Colby as they drive off, "Are you just worried as her best friend or? You can tell me. I can tell when a guy has feelings."

"Yes, I do but she doesn't know that." They go to eat.

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Richard and Victoria were slightly fighting about Colby being at the hospital when he could go home.

"Mom!" Harper shows up coming into the room with her crutches.

"Babe." They hug each other, "Colby went out for food with your brother."

"Colby actually left the room?" Harper takes a seat, "He said he refuses to leave her."

Richard went out for a walk around the hospital while Vic and Harper stayed in the room watching TV. Slowly Penelope's eyes start to flutter open looking around the room, "Da-daddy?" She sees her dad sitting in the chair next to her holding her hand.

The sound of Penelope's voice causes the two to look over at her, "Babygirl!" Victoria rushes over to her side, "You're awake." She smiles before rushing to get a nurse while Harper goes to her sister.

"Colby... Where's Colby?" She starts to tear up remembering what he said in the ambulance.

"He went out to eat with Turner. He'll be back." She said as the doctor came in to check her out and run tests.

Once the door opens Penelope looks over to see Colby with her brother, Colby puts the food on the counter before rushing over to her.

"You weren't here when I woke up." She cries to him.

"I'm sorry." He hugs her, "I know I promised you." He kisses her forehead before letting her go.

"Glad you woke up." Turner smiles so Penelope motions for him to hug her.

For the night, Colby stays with her while her family gets a hotel room to stay in for a while. Both watch TV while eating McDonald's since Harper brought them some.

"So you've been sleeping there for two weeks?" Penelope looks at Colby's setup.

"Yes, I have. Sam, Devyn, and Corey volunteered to stay a night each but I said no. As I promised, I stayed by your side. I talked to you every day. We had a little One Direction concert. I finally watched Titanic from beginning to end." He makes her laugh as they finish eating.

"Colby, can you lay with me for a few minutes, please?" She asks as he gets ready for bed.

Colby smiles walking over and gets in the bed with her since they gave her a big bed. She cuddles into him carefully tearing up, "What's wrong?"

"I thought... I thought I was dead for a minute when I woke up. I saw my dad sitting next to me holding my hand. I could feel him holding my hand, Colby." She cries.

Colby didn't know exactly what to say so he just held her close to him, "Maybe he just wanted to make sure you were okay." He holds her tighter.

"Thank you for staying with me, Colby. It really means a lot to me. When I woke up I asked where you were." She whispers to him.

"Ah, you wanted me?" He chuckles.

"I always want you." She giggles talking about when she's scared, nervous, or in any serious situation.

Colby's heart starts to beat super fast as he makes the decision that was going to change their relationship from that moment on. She could hear he was having trouble saying something so she leaned back to look at him just for him to lean in ever so slightly till she felt the soft brush of his lips before he gently pressed his lips to hers.

#sam and colby #colby brock #sam golbach #katrina stuart #jake webber #corey scherer #elton castee #tara yummy #colby brock imagine #colby brock ff #colby brock fanfic #best friend #friends to lovers #tfil

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buckysgrace · 5 months ago

Text

Sixty Six

Dancing in the Dark Masterlist

His legs were stiff by the time they returned, his eyelids feeling heavy from how much busier the traffic seemed to be this time around. He stared off towards the short distance to the beach, wondering if they should just drop the bags off and head over there now. He missed the water already.

“How was your trip?” Rosemary greeted them first, smiling brightly as she gently took a hold of Kim’s biceps. She looked her over, narrowing her eyes like she was checking for any injuries.

“Fun,” He responded as he dragged Kim’s bags inside for her, “The traffic is a lot busier there.” He huffed as he dropped the bags, excited to get them unpacked and washed and dried. He preferred to get it all put away first thing so he didn’t have to worry about it later.

“It really is,” Sam confirmed as he nodded his head, “And look. No sunburn. Congrats.” He grinned as he kissed the top of Kim’s head. She leaned against him for a moment, giving him a soft hug before she pulled away.

“Just a little,” She grinned as she pulled her sleeve down a bit, “Just a bit on my shoulders.” She showed off her slightly burnt skin, which was more pink than anything now. He was glad it wasn’t too painful.

“That’s not bad at all,” Rosemary commented as she looked at it, “It’ll heal quickly.” She smiled before she moved towards Billy. He paused for a moment before he opened his arms, letting her wiggle herself into his arms. She hugged him tightly, giving him a tight squeeze as if she might try to pick him up. He touched her back gently, before she pulled away.

“What did you get?” Russell asked as he peeked his head towards the bags. His face lit up like it was Christmas all over again. Kim grinned as he tried to wiggle his way closer to her.

“Some things,” She grinned as she held her bags to her chest playfully, “I’m teasing. Let me get it situated.” She brushed him off, trying to separate through everything as he kept poking his head in and asking if each item was his. Billy was quite certain he was a spoiled brat.

“Was everything safe there?” Rosemary asked, “Any issues?” She asked him softly as she raised her eyebrows, looking worried once again. He rubbed at his chin, wondering how ridiculous he must’ve acted in the months prior.

“No issues,” He said with a shrug of his shoulders, “It was nice.” Pearl bounced forward, her feet moving quickly before she hopped up on the edge of the couch. She mewled, making him sigh as he began to pet her. She arched her back, wiggling her butt into the air before she flopped over on his lap.

“She missed you,” Sam spoke up as he examined his rock, “She slept in your room the whole time.” He commented thoughtfully, his mind clearly far away as Billy continued to brush his fingers through Pearl’s fur. She shut her eyes as she angled her face in his direction, purring in appreciation.

“She watched me,” Russell replied as he narrowed his eyes at where Pearl was purring, “From across the hall while I was sleeping. I think she wanted to suffocate me.” He mumbled as he looked through his items that he’d received. Kim scoffed.

“She did not,” Rosemary laughed, “She’s just a little cat. Don’t be silly.” She shook her head as she moved forward to give Pearl a little pet. Kim leaned over next, smiling as she pressed her nose down against Pearl’s.

“Max called,” Sam spoke up slowly, making Kim’s head snap up in attention, “She wanted to come out for her spring break. We’re going to figure out how to do it.” He told them with a smile. Billy turned, looking at the way Kim’s expression lit up. He gave her knee a little squeeze, knowing how much she had missed Max. It was different without her being here, but he understood why she had decided to go back.

“Are you going to pick her up?” Kim asked as her eyes continued to glow, looking like she was planning a hundred different things to do with Max already. She hadn’t said much about it, but he knew that she was still saddened about her missing presence.

“We were talking about a plane ticket,” Rosemary hummed thoughtfully as she nodded her head along with whatever Sam was showing her about his rock, “That way it wouldn’t be quite as long. She said she wouldn’t mind, but what do you think?”

“She’s not afraid of heights,” Kim observed for a moment, “I think if that’s what she wants, she’d be fine.” She nodded her head at last as a smile pulled onto her lips. He pulled her close, giving her shoulders a squeeze before she scooped Pearl up.

“I bet she’d be fine,” Billy nodded his head in agreement, watching the way Pearl meowed against Kim’s cheek, “She’d be the only one coming out, right?” He asked as he raised an eyebrow, uncomfortable with the thought of Susan coming out again. He kept his features relaxed however, not wanting Kim to catch on to his thoughts.

“I think so far,” Sam shrugged his shoulders, “But perhaps she wants to bring a friend. That’s fine too.” He smiled as he settled back in his chair, tugging Rosemary back before she could hop up once again.

“Did anything happen while we were gone?” Kim asked as she continued to brush her cheek against Pearl’s, smiling brightly at the way she began to dig her paws into her chest.

“No,” Rosemary thought for a moment, “Not really. I got some orders for early Easter cupcakes. That’ll be cute.”

“Oh that will be,” Kim grinned, “Are you doing more carrot cake?”

“I thought about it,” She smiled, “When you’re ready you should let me know, I can make some samples for the two of you.”

“For what?” Billy asked curiously

“Your wedding cake,” She said with a laugh, then stopped for a moment, “Unless you want someone else to do it.”

“Oh no,” Kim flushed as she spoke up, “We want you to do it. I guess I just hadn’t thought about it.”

“I hadn’t either,” He admitted, “But that would be nice. It really would be.”

“Okay,” Rosemary smiled as she looked at them in relief, “If you want to go with someone else that’s fine too.”

“We’d prefer it to be you,” He reassured her softly, “Whenever we figure that out.”

//////////////////////////////////////

“Which egg looks better?” Kim asked as she held up two with various different patterns and colors. The one in her left hand was a mixture of soft greens and blues. The one in her right hand was a mix of yellow and pink. It reminded him of the sun setting.

“No dark colors?” He teased her as he joined her on the ground. She was sitting out, her legs stretched out in front of her as she continuously tapped her bare feet together. Russell was nearby, cursing as he continually got food dye on his fingers.

“Easter is for soft colors.” She explained as Pearl walked up towards them, sniffing at the eggs curiously. They’d taken to letting her outside occasionally, just as long as they were around her. Kim had even crocheted her a little vest, with what he assumed was her take on a leash. Although Pearl never went too far, he was fairly certain she was afraid of the birds that flew nearby.

“The green and blue,” He said finally, “I like the designs.” She smiled as she held it out towards him, offering it as a gift. He took it, gently rotating it in his hands as he looked at the different designs she’d tried to make into them. He thought that they looked like little wave ripples.

“This is really fun,” She told him, “I haven’t done this in a long time.” She commented as she looked over at the other eggs, picking another one up before she examined which colors she wanted to use this time.

“Did you paint eggs a lot?” He asked her curiously, biting back a grin at how Russell scoffed once again. He kept dropping the egg this time, like he had put too much dye on the eggs and it was now too slippery.

“On Easter, yeah,” She replied softly, “Then we’d eat them afterwards.” She teased as she watched him, like she was waiting for him to crinkle his nose up at the thought of it. It was gross, but eggs were pretty cheap. He supposed it made sense.

“Sounds like a delicious meal,” He chuckled as he moved his arm against his knee, “We always went to church. Usually we’d go out to eat after.” He explained as he thought about it, feeling like there was something heavy pressing onto his chest.

“Where at?” She asked curious as she began to dip the egg into the yellow dye. She held it carefully, only the tips of her fingers stained from the paint. He paused as he tried to recall. It was always different.

“Depended,” He shrugged, “Dad really likes burgers. Usually something like that.” He sat the egg down gently, watching as Pearl began to nuzzle her face against the side of the egg. He thought it would be fairly funny if it made her white fur colorful.

He thought about asking her if she had celebrated the Easter bunny, but then supposed it would’ve been something else that was too expensive for them. He didn’t want to put her on the spot, especially not with Russell lingering so close by. He assumed that if he believed in Santa, that he believed in the silly bunny too.

“Mom likes to make ham,” He spoke up, almost rubbing his fingers across his face before he stopped, “And sweet potatoes with little marshmallows. It’s good.” He said, whispering out a thanks as Kim moved his hair from his face.

“That does sound good,” Billy said in agreement as he nodded his head. He brushed his thumb across his bottom lip, sighing softly, “Maybe she’ll make it again this year.” He hummed along, trying to act like he didn’t feel sad that he had missed out on so much with his own mother.

“Are you going somewhere?” Kim asked him softly, speaking up like she knew he needed a distraction. He pulled a smile onto his lips as he looked at her again, his eyes tracing over the concern on her features.

“I have another urine test,” He shrugged his shoulders, hoping that this would be one of the last ones, “Then I was just going to go and say hi for a bit.” He muttered softly, wanting to keep it more between him and her. He didn’t want Rosemary to know, to get worried once again. It would just be a quick visit. He had to finalize some things anyway.

“I can go with,” She offered quickly as she dropped her egg onto one of the dirty towels that Rosemary no longer wanted, “I don’t mind.” She told him, looking like she was ready to scoop Pearl up and leave with him. He shook his head softly.

“Finish working on your eggs,” He told her playfully, pinching her cheek softly before he leaned forward to peck her lips, “I won’t be gone that long. I swear. Maybe I’ll get some candy for everyone.” He added with a smirk, watching the way her eyes flashed.

“I like going with you.” She said at last, pressing her lips together as she awaited his answer. He chuckled as he twisted her wavy strands around his fingers. He tilted his head to the side, observing her for a moment before he nodded his head along. She could go. There was nothing wrong with her going.

“Okay,” He smiled, watching the way her lips mirrored his as he pulled away, “But clean up your mess first.” He told her seriously, then pointed to Russell in agreement before he scooped Pearl up into his arms. She dangled, holding her head up high and sniffing again like she enjoyed the breeze that raced through her fur.

“Sure, dad,” Russell mocked once Billy pulled the screen door open, “I’ll wash my hands after too!” He shouted after him, making Billy snort once he heard Kim beginning to lecture on how to get the food dye from his fingers.

He set Pearl down on the small bookshelf next to the glass doors, humming as he slowly removed her little outfit to give her some breathing room. She purred in appreciation before he hung her clothes up, knowing Kim would want it back on her later.

“I’m ready,” She replied quickly as she held the door open for Russell, letting him rush inside with the messy eggs in his hands before she shut it, “Is there anything you need to grab?” She asked before she paused, stopping to pet Pearl once again.

“Just you,” He smiled breezily as he leaned against the wall, completely taken with the easy way she moved, “C’mon, Red. Let’s get this over with.” He teased as he held his palm out, his fingers tingling at the way her skin molded against his.

“Do you think Max would want an Easter gift?” She asked once they were out the door and strapped into his car. She turned towards him curiously, looking at him genuinely concerned before she pulled her book from his backseat. He noticed that her things were winding up mingled everywhere with his own.

“I think you’ve gotten her enough gifts,” He pointed out, knowing that she gave people gifts out of love and not anything else, “She’s going to be spoiled.” He said with a laugh, even though he already knew that she spoiled Max.

“She is not,” She laughed as she shook her head, smiling as she turned towards him, “Don’t be silly.” She teased as they laced their fingers together once again. He enjoyed the comforting feeling before he backed out of the driveway, heading towards his dreaded appointment.

“You know who will be spoiled?” He questioned, catching her curious gaze before he spoke again, “Jennifer.” He pointed out, fairly certain that she was already in that category. Kim giggled in response.

“Yeah,” She nodded her head softly, “But she’s a cutie. And she was born so early. I feel like that’s a good reason.” She replied in determination, pointing her chin up towards him. He didn’t deny her, but he also knew that she would’ve been spoiled regardless.

“You’re going to spoil her,” He pointed out, thinking of the little gifts she’d already made for her, “By a lot.” He smirked at the way she shrugged her shoulders sheepishly, like she already knew the answer.

“I was thinking about her being our flower girl,” She said softly as she shifted in her seat, “You know, just depending on when we decide to get married.” She added quickly, like he’d be offended by her suggestion.

“Not this year,” He told her with a laugh, “I guess we’ll see how long it takes to save up and get your dream dress.” He teased as he reached down to squeeze at her knee, earning a giggle from her. Speaking about the wedding felt odd, made it that much more real. It was exciting.

His final urine test went well, freeing him from the tiring hassle of having to go back and forth. He could finally let that all go thankfully. It was like that chip was finally off of his shoulder.

“You’re sure you’re okay in here?” He asked once again, bending down to the open windows as Kim crossed her legs and pulled her book open. She nodded as she tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear, trying to keep it from catching in the wind.

“Of course,” She smiled softly, though he didn’t miss the worrying look in her eyes, “If you need anything let me know. I’m not that far away.” She reminded him, furrowing her eyebrows together. He nodded as he leaned down to peck her lips.

“I know,” He hummed as he tapped his fingers against the inside of her car, “I’ll see you soon.” He told her seriously, knowing that he wouldn’t let Neil get to him this time. It was just a quick check in, more out of curiosity than anything else.

He walked inside, feeling like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with his hands as he went through the same process as last time. He felt odd inside of the building as they directed him along, taking him to the familiar meeting station.

“Hey,” Billy felt odd as he sat back down into the chair, “How are you?” He asked first thing, unsure of what to start with. His father looked older, far different from the way Billy remembered him. He was smaller, more frail and pale with thick bags underneath his eyes. But no bruises or fresh injuries. He supposed that was well.

“Your hair is long.” Neil pointed out instead of greeting him or answering his question. He furrowed his eyebrows together, narrowing his eyes like he wasn’t sure about the look. Billy already knew what he thought about it.

“Yeah.”

“Hm,” Neil paused for a moment, “I’m well I suppose. It gets lonely here.” He admitted. Billy reached out to touch the end of his hair in surprise, wondering if he should have tried to hide it better before he came in.

“I’m sure,” Billy said as he nodded his head, “I brought you some root beer hard candies. And those cherry chocolates.” He recounted the small list off of the top of his head, hoping that Neil would at least enjoy some of it.

“What for?” He asked in confusion, touching at his temple. He sounded more strict this time, a little harsher. Just like Billy remembered him to be. It wasn’t as reassuring as what he thought it would be.

“Easter,” He said softly, “It’s tomorrow.” He reminded him gently, unsure if Neil knew that or not. He wondered if he even knew what the date was, or where he was at. Billy didn’t ask. He was too afraid to know what the answer was.

“That’s right,” Neil nodded his head in agreement, “I’d almost forgotten.” He shook his head a second later, scoffing like he couldn’t believe himself. Billy remained calm, stoic as he let Neil relax once again.

“I thought you might like them,” He hummed softly as he rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip, “Has everything been alright?” He clarified, hoping that his answer might give him some sort of clarity. He truly was curious.

“Not too shabby,” Neil commented, “Been visiting the doctor quite a bit. How about yourself?” He kept his answers short and simple, like he didn’t want to go into many more details. Billy didn’t press either. He didn’t want Neil to be angry once again.

“Good,” He replied, feeling a smile burst free and onto his lips as he thought of Kim, “Really good actually. I proposed.” He spit out before he could help himself, deciding that this would be the best part of the visit.

“You did?” Neil asked with a smile, “To that Katherine girl?” He tilted his head and Billy got the brief hint that he might be excited as well. Just briefly.

“Kim,” He confirmed with a nod of his head, “Her name is Kim.” He added softly again, trying to decide if Neil had purposely slipped up or not.

“Kimberly,” Neil sighed as he rubbed at his temple, “That’s right. You’ve had many girlfriends.” He shook his head like it was all confusing. Billy kept his lips pressed tightly together, keeping his tongue in place before he could defend himself. He reminded himself that it didn’t matter.

“Do you remember her?” He asked softly, curious if he remembered being married to Susan at all. If he remembered beating on him and Kim when he found out the truth. It put a sour taste in his mouth as he recalled the memory. He suddenly didn’t want to be here any longer.

“Have I met her?” Neil asked as he rubbed the top of his short hair, furrowing his eyebrows together even tighter. He clearly didn’t. Billy supposed it wasn’t a bad thing.

“Do you remember Susan?” He asked softly, “Or Maxine?” He dug a little deeper, watching as Neil exhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a moment.

“I don’t suppose so.”

“Do you remember Stacey?” He questioned quietly, unsure of why she popped into his thoughts. At least that would give him some clarity on where his mind had fogged over.

“My memory is fading, boy. I’m not a complete loss yet,” Neil chuckled as he watched him, “Though I do suppose it’s been a few years since I’ve been with her, has it not?” He questioned as he raised one of his eyebrows.

“Many years.” Billy said softly, recognizing that Neil’s memory problems were just recent. It was odd to process, to think that something so recently could be forgotten.

“Is Susan someone of importance?” He asked as he furrowed his eyebrows together, “There was a woman with that name in my report.” He drifted off for a moment, making Billy wonder if he even knew what he did. He doubted it and Billy wouldn’t be the one to remind him. Not when Neil could freak out in the way he had with Rosemary.

“How’s the food here?” Billy questioned instead, changing the subject completely as he tapped his free hand against the desk in front of him. He was glad for the glass in between them, knowing that Neil would hate it if he saw what he was doing.

“Never been one to complain about a free meal.” Neil replied with a small laugh, making Billy nod in agreement. Nothing could be as bad as Susan's cooking. It was awful.

“I’m looking for places for you to go,” He said finally, “Once you’re released.” He clarified a second later, thinking that it might make things a little easier for him.

“Your home isn’t good enough for me?” Neil tilted his head, an offended expression on his features as he curled his eyebrows up towards his forehead. Billy stalled for a second, just for a split moment before he recovered once again.

“I don’t really have one,” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the lie, “I’m in college. At a dorm.” He added, hoping that Neil wouldn’t remember this conversation. He probably wouldn’t. Hopefully.

“Oh,” Neil grinned from ear to ear, “What are you studying?” He asked, although Billy knew that if he had actually gone to college that Neil would’ve judged him for it. Nothing ever made him happy. He was dumb for not going, but if he had gone he would’ve been too good. It didn’t make sense.

“Cooking.” He spit out, saying the first thing that came to his mind. He did his best to keep from cowering, knowing that Neil would hate that answer. His expression said it all too, even in his confusion.

“Ah,” He pressed his lips together, “It was hard to keep you out of the kitchen. I think you got your love of cooking from my mother.” No, he was wrong. Billy got it from his own mother.

///////////////////////////////////////////////

“Happy Easter,” Kim grinned as she approached him, a pair of bunny ears placed neatly on her head, “How do I look?” She asked as she placed her hands on her hips, showing off the soft yellow dress she was wearing.

“Cute,” He grinned as he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, “Are you wearing that to church?” He asked her with a laugh, looking at the splash of freckles that were on her cheeks and nose.

“No,” She said with a giggle, wrinkling up her nose in a cute manner, “I’m not sure if they would like that.” She replied as she slowly pulled it off of her head. She set it down before she began to straighten her hair out again, looking deep in thought again for a moment.

Going to church had been a surprise to him, but Rosemary had suggested it all for them last night. Russell had groaned and moaned about it, but Billy was sort of excited. It had been a while since he had been to a service.

“You look cute though,” He observed as he kissed her cheek, “We really don’t have to go.” He reminded her, noticing that she looked more displaced than anything. She hadn’t said anything about being uncomfortable, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t.

“Everyone else is going,” She said as she nodded her head, “It’s fine. It’ll be a new experience I suppose.” She smiled once again, looking like she might be excited. He snorted, knowing that there wasn’t much excitement inside of the building.

“Alright,” He hummed as he kissed her forehead, “I’m excited.” He told her gently, watching as she leaned into him.

“Me too,” She smiled as she hugged onto his side, “I think Gina and them are going too.” She told him as she breathed in deeply against the side of his neck, making him smile at the feeling of her cool nose against his skin.

“Are they?” He asked her curiously, wrinkling his eyebrows together. He hadn’t spoken to Tommy since they’d gotten back. He had plans to do so, but preferred to meet in person rather than to speak on the phone.

“I think they agreed it would be good for Jennifer,” She smiled as she held up a little basket, “Look. I made her some Easter treats.” She smiled brightly as she held it against her hip, looking proud of her creation.

“She can’t eat it.” He chuckled softly as he reminded her, not at all surprised that Kim would get a head start on giving someone else a sweet tooth.

“There’s no food in it,” She giggled as she moved the basket away, “It has some cute baby socks that I did again, a little stuffed carrot and a headband scarf.” She proclaimed, showing off the little items.

“Cute,” He grinned as he kissed her cheek, “You’re very sweet.” He told her seriously, suddenly content with the idea of staying in and stripping her out of her cute dress. He wondered if she had any idea of how she affected him.

“I’m going to make her like me,” She declared, “I’m determined to make her love me.” She furrowed her eyebrows tightly together, looking like she wouldn’t give up until it was completed. He smiled softly.

“She’d be silly not to,” He chuckled as he adjusted the bow that was holding the top sections of her hair back, “You’re easy to love.” He told her seriously, taking his time as he drifted his fingers down through her soft hair.

“You’re very sweet,” She grinned as she held his hand and walked out with him, “I’m nervous to be in church.” She told him softly, speaking her fears out loud for the first time. He nodded his head at what he already knew.

“They won’t have any idea,” He reassured her, “There will be a ton of people today anyways.” He told her seriously, knowing that there would be so many visitors at the service that they wouldn’t even be noticed.

They walked towards the kitchen, Kim shuffling off for a moment to grab one of the muffins Rosemary had baked this morning. Billy had already had one, but quickly decided that he wouldn’t have any other sweets. Knowing his mother, she’d make many more sweets for this meal.

“Why?” Russell was whining as he struggled to get the buttons on his shirt adjusted, “We didn’t go for Christmas.” He pouted out his lips, clearly not happy to be awake on his last free morning from school.

“Because I said so,” Rosemary replied as she pulled his hair out of his face, tying it back neatly, “And because it’s good for you.” She smiled as she stood on the tips of her toes, tilting her head so she could face him.

“I’d rather play my video games.” He mumbled as he shrugged his shoulders, giving up on the fight that he wouldn't be able to win.

“Maybe this will give you good inspiration to jot down in your journal.” Sam suggested, looking fairly well put together himself. He was scrubbing furiously at his glasses, apparently trying to make the glass crystal clear.

“Yeah, like what?” Russell continued to grumble on, looking like he was seconds away from pleading to stay at the house. Billy shook his head, knowing that the service wouldn’t last that long.

“It was a suggestion,” Sam said as he fixed his glasses, “You know, J.R.R. Tolkien had some Christian influences in his stories.” He pointed out, nodding his head like it was some big deal. Billy paused.

“Whose that?” Billy mumbled towards Kim, bending towards her ear so only she could hear him. She grinned as she held onto his bicep, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

“He wrote The Hobbit,” Kim whispered back to him, “And Lord of the Rings. Oh, Billy. You should read them. They’re incredible.” She had a giddy look in her eye, like she thought that he might accept her offer. Not today.

“Uh huh,” He said with a nod of his head, sure that he would not be interested in it, “Are we riding together?” He asked everyone else, having a feeling they would be late if they didn’t start moving.

“It would be easier,” Rosemary replied as she finished fussing over the last bits of Russell’s hair, “Okay, okay I’m finished.” She quickly said as he continued to whine.

“You can’t go,” Kim cooed as she bent down to Pearl, who had begun to rub her body against Kim’s ankles, “You have to watch the house.” She smiled as she gave Pearl’s nose a little poke, like she could somehow understand.

“And eat the bread.” Russell added with a shake of his head, like it was ridiculous. Billy was fairly certain that Kim would bring her if she could.

“I have the bread put away,” Rosemary said, “Come on before we’re late.” She replied as she began to swat everyone out the door, grabbing the keys on her way out.

Kim ended up being shuffled in the middle, between him and Russell on the drive there. Billy had no idea which church they were going to and whether it would be a good one or not. Kim rested her cheek on his shoulder, linking their fingers together tightly.

By the time they arrived he could tell that he was right about there being many people. Kim attached herself tightly to his side, like a second skin as they slowly wiggled themselves inside. She seemed taken aback by the loud piano, about the many people that greeted them and held out hands to shake.

“Where do we go?” Kim asked, apparently distracted as she bumped into his back. She seemed overwhelmed as she began to move her eyes through the crowd once again, her tone coming off a little short.

“Over here,” He chuckled as he glanced back at her, “We just need to find a spot.” He reassured her, hoping that she would be calm once they got settled in.

“Not in the front,” Sam replied as he wrinkled his nose, “But not all the way in the back. We’ll have to get a booster seat for mom if we do that.” He teased as he playfully elbows Rosemary, making her scoff in response.

“Hilarious,” Rosemary commented as Russell kept a tight grip on her, “Your father should be a comedian.” She shook her head as she followed behind, smiling despite her sarcastic tone.

“I think he’s funny.” Russell defended Sam, nodding his head quickly as Billy snorted in response. He wasn't surprised that Russell would think that.

“Over here,” She said as she motioned them over, walking in first. She pulled Russell towards her, plopping him down in between her and Sam. It was probably the best spot for him, “I’ll scoot down, we can save the inside of the row for your friends?”

“Which friends?” Sam asked as he furrowed his eyebrows together, looking like he had missed out on the whole conversation in the car about how they’d manage to find their friends.

“Tommy, Steve and Gina.” Kim replied cheerily, smiling brightly as she recounted the names once again. Sam parted his lips, still looking baffled.

“Is that the blonde girl?” He asked curiously as he thought to himself. Billy laughed for a second before he realized that Sam was serious. He blinked in surprise.

“No, daddy,” Kim responded with a shake of her head, “The one with the baby. You’ve met them a few times now.” She explained patiently, watching the way Sam continued to try and figure out who that was.

“I have?” He questioned out loud, “Huh. Oh right. I remember now.” He nodded his head stiffly, looking like he truly did not remember at all.

“He’s as bad as my dad.” Billy mumbled to her, keeping his voice low as Kim’s eyes widened. She linked their fingers together once again, making him smile at how her skin melted against his.

“He’s always been like that,” Kim giggled softly, “He never could remember any of my friends' names.” She told him honestly, nodding her head as she glanced back at her father. He chuckled as he swapped his hands so he could wrap his arm around her shoulder.

“Probably a good thing,” He hummed as he leaned against her, “I hope you’ll like the service.” he pressed a kiss against the side of her temple, breathing in her sweet scent. She tapped her fingers against his knuckles softly.

“I’m sure it’ll be interesting.” She replied gently, her hazel eyes flashing in reassurance. He wondered if this would be good enough to convince her to have their ceremony in a similar place like this. He hoped so. The building was pretty.

Steve, Gina and Tommy waltzed in late; making the five of them squeeze their legs to their chest so they could squeeze into the empty side of the aisle. Well, Rosemary didn’t have to. And she was the first one to pick Jennifer up to hold her.

Billy was sort of fascinated with the way she seemed to be growing so fast. Her hair was still wild and unruly, despite the rather large blue bow on the top of her head. It matched her blue frilly dress. She sat up a little bit easier on her own, moved her hands a little more freely. Although she still bore the same bored expression, like she wanted to be anywhere else.

He stole her away a few minutes later, grinning at the way she rested in her arms. She was certainly chubbier than she had been, definitely from all the milk she got whenever she wanted. Kim peered over his arm, holding her finger out as Jennifer quickly took it.

She grinned as Jennifer squeezed it, some drool sliding from her lips as she kicked her little feet around. Kim tickled at her sides, accidentally earning a loud squeak from Jennifer’s lips that drew far too many eyes in their direction. Kim flushed in response.

She stuck out like a sore thumb, even worse than Sam as she tripped and stumbled in her spot. He could tell right away that she wasn’t lying, that she really hadn’t ever been to church before. She never knew when to stand, missed the cues from the priest and he was fairly certain she was daydreaming more than she was listening. But he didn’t truly mind. At least she came for him.

Sam sat with his elbows on his knees, his fingers laced as he stared down at his shoes. He kept tapping them, not loud enough to hear but enough to keep himself distracted. Billy could easily tell that he wasn’t a fan of anything the priest was saying. It was odd.

Kim kept her eyes plastered towards the glass stained windows, her fingers brushing shapes into his leg. It took him a while before he recognized that she was tracing out the image and shape from the glass onto his thigh. It was soft, reassuring.

“What do you think?” He asked once it was over and they were standing, waiting as Steve and Gina argued over the best way to get Jennifer into their carseat. Tommy watched in irritation, like he was growing tired of listening to them.

“Sounds like a typical service, I think.” Kim said softly as she wiggled out of the way, letting an elderly couple pass by them. She grinned towards him, but he was still curious about her thoughts.

“Did you like it?” He asked what he really wanted to know. He hoped that she wouldn’t think he was suggesting going to church all of the time, but he thought it might be nice to occasionally go.

“It wasn’t bad, if that’s what you’re acting,” She responded as she took his hand, “Just different than what I’m used to.” She said with a nod of her head, saying it softly like she was afraid that she might offend him.

“Were things not scientifically correct?” He teased her as he tilted his head towards her, wrapping his arm around her slender waist once again. He hated to admit that much of the service had consisted of unholy thoughts about her and those bunny ears she had worn earlier.

“I never said that,” She replied with a laugh, resting her head against him as Tommy began to move his way down the aisle, “You look handsome.” She told him softly, nodding at the tux that he was wearing.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been to church,” He admitted as he brushed a hand over his chest, “I see now that I’m very overdressed.” He stuck his cheeks out before he exhaled roughly, shaking his head as his cheeks grew red.

“You are,” Billy laughed for the first time, no longer able to keep it together, “You look great though.” He nodded his head, giving his shoulder a rough pat. Tommy snorted as he rolled his eyes.

“You could’ve warned me.” He added as he pointed an accusing finger towards him. He glanced over his shoulder at the way Gina scoffed audibly before she picked up the carseat and left in the opposite direction. Steve’s shoulders sagged before he slowly turned and made his way towards them.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Billy answered honestly as Kim squeezed at his side, “You look well.” He commented once Steve was in front of him, his hair messy and his own bags still underneath his eyes.

“Did you have fun on your romantic getaway?” Steve asked instead, pulling a stiff smile onto his lips before he began to mess with his hair. Kim perked up against him.

“We did,” She answered as she leaned against him, squeezing at his waist again, “We tried a lot of new things, didn’t we?” She tilted her head as she looked towards him, her lips pulling into a soft smirk. He felt his eyes widen, his cheeks burning as his mouth suddenly turned dry.

“I think I’m missing something.” Tommy narrowed his eyes as he looked between them, trying to read between Billy’s reaction. He coughed, covering up his delay as Kim bit back her own laughter.

“Nothing,” He answered sharply, “You’re missing nothing.” He replied sternly, giving her backside a quick swat. She yelped and he supposed church wasn’t the best place to smack her butt, but it was well deserved.

“Right,” Steve replied as he watched them closely, “I’ll take your word for it.” He leaned against the pew, making a face for a moment as he continued to look at where Gina had left.

“You and Gina seem better.” Billy answered, doing his best to keep from sounding sarcastic. They did seem better earlier, but he had a feeling Gina was still stressed. Tommy mumbled something towards Kim before she nodded her head, giving Billy a smile before they headed out towards the doors.

“Usually. I have taken my head out of my ass,” He commented, making Billy wince at the mention of penetration, “Better, I think. I’ve been paying attention to her more, I understand that things were really difficult for her.” He explained as he rubbed the back of his neck, looking like he felt guilty. That was good. A step in the right direction.

“Yeah,” Billy nodded along with him, “Good for you. Gina’s nice.” He told Steve seriously as they made their way towards the exit this time. Steve paused for a moment before he glanced towards him.

“What’s that mean?” He asked seriously, almost demanding an answer. Billy cocked an eyebrow in confusion.

“She’s nice?” He repeated, unsure of what Steve was looking for. Billy didn’t have a lot of things to say about Gina. She was just nice. She had good music taste too.

“So you still have a thing for her or something?” Steve asked as he planted his feet on the ground, resting his hands on his waist as his expression turned serious. Billy laughed.

“I’m engaged to Kim.” He said as he held up his own ring, making a point. His relationship with Gina had been far different, not even a relationship in his opinion. Steve was silly if he thought that his suggestion was serious.

“I know how you were.” Steve nodded his head slowly as he kept his hands on his hips, looking like he was waiting for Billy to deny it.

“Like you were any different.” Billy snorted as he walked past him, briefly hitting his arm against Steve’s elbow before he stepped outside. He listened as Steve scurried out after him.

“That’s-,” He paused for a moment as he pressed his tongue against his cheek, “Okay that’s fair.” He furrowed his eyebrows as he winced, looking like he was regretting bringing up his worries entirely.

“She’s just a good friend,” He replied with a shake of his head, “And I love Kim.” He said sternly, knowing that he’d never do anything to risk losing her. Not again. But the thought of being with someone else made him sick. He only wanted her.

“Just making sure,” Steve nodded as he looked at where Kim was approaching, dragging her feet along with her, “Why so blue?” He asked as he rested against the side of the building. She did look fairly sad, her lips pulled into a frown and her shoulders sagging as she walked forward.

“I’m too old to hunt for candy,” She replied as she pouted her lips out and leaned against Billy, “I recruited Russell to do it.” She mumbled as she rested her cheek against his, sighing deeply like it was a great loss.

“You could’ve just said you were helping Jennifer.” Steve spoke up as he laughed, looking like that was the most obvious answer. It certainly wasn’t a bad one.

“Tommy beat me to it.” She replied as she inhaled deeply, looking gloomy as she held onto Billy. He laughed as he kissed her softly, hoping that Steve was watching. He chuckled as he pulled away, amused with her pouting.

“Very rude of him.” He added as she fell against him, laughing softly as she held onto his waist. Steve wrinkled his nose, like he was suddenly uncomfortable. Billy figured it had to do with his odd statement from earlier. Perhaps his issues in his own relationship had him picking apart others.

“Very,” Kim agreed softly, “Russell said we could split it as long as I buy him ice cream.” She said with a nod of her head, looking like it was completely fair to her.

“You just got him all of that stuff from our trip.” He told her in disbelief, shaking his head at Russell’s antics. He was a good negotiator, he supposed.

“I still can’t believe there’s a mini version of you running around,” Steve spoke up as he thought out loud, tilting his head to the side, “I guess there’ll be more when you guys- uh. Yeah.” He nodded his head slowly, speaking his words smoothly.

“Yep,” Kim squeaked out, cheeks burning as she stiffened up, “It would be cute if our kids looked like him. Especially his nose.” She commented, relaxing a bit as she pressed a finger down against his nose. He scoffed.

“Nothing is wrong with yours,” He told her seriously, liking how dainty and cute hers was as well, “Kids are too expensive right now.” He said as he dropped the topic, knowing that it made Kim uncomfortable. He wondered if it had more to do with the fact that she realized that people knew they had sex, or if she was just worried about not giving him children yet.

“Tell me about it,” Steve mumbled underneath his breath, then grinning as Tommy and Gina came in tow with Jennifer and her little basket, “Hey, it’s your little twin.” He pointed out as Russell followed behind, grumbling as Steve’s words landed on his ears.

“Did you beat all those little kids?” Kim asked quickly as she looked down at the basket of candy, clearly excited as little pieces fell out of the side.

“Kim.” Billy stated as he shook his head, shocked by her words. She grinned sheepishly at him before she bent down to pick the pieces that had fallen out.

“What?” She asked innocently, “Chocolate is important.” She laughed as she cradled it in her arms, like it was truly something delicate. He shook his head.

“Do you see this bag?” Russell asked proudly, “Do you think anyone else got to this?” He grinned as he looked down at the basket, holding it similarly to the way Gina was carrying Jennifer.

“He tripped me!” Tommy protested from across the way, shaking his head as Russell began to mumble something about how it wasn’t his fault. Billy shushed him before height got brought up, remembering how sensitive Tommy was about that.

“I’ve never been so proud before.” Kim patted Russell’s face gently, earning a strong nod from him as he gave her a little hug. He shook his head as he watched the two of them.

“Your teeth are going to rot out,” Billy said simply, “Both of you.” He pointed at the two of them, wondering if the candy was really worth stealing it from a bunch of little kids.

“Cool,” Russell grinned, “I wonder if I can still gum on candy with no teeth. You have tiny teeth.” He observed as he glanced towards Kim. Her smile dropped as she looked at him in confusion, her eyes widening just a smidge.

“Cute teeth,” Billy clarified as she furrowed her eyebrows together and held her fingers up to her mouth, “They’re very cute. Like you.” He added as he touched her cheek softly, hoping that Russell didn’t hurt her feelings. It wasn’t a bad thing. They fit her well.

“Oh nasty,” He scoffed, “See you in the car.” He grumbled as he walked away, leaving a little trail of candy in his wake that Billy was sure that Kim would chase after. He turned back towards their friends, deciding that he didn’t want to stay very long after all.

“You should come by later in the week,” Gina suggested as she looked at them, smiling as she gave Jennifer a little kiss on the top of her head, “I could use the company.” She said honestly as she glanced towards the boys.

“That would be fun,” Kim smiled, “And you can come over whenever you want.” She added quickly, looking like she was still determined to have Gina finish school with her. Billy figured it was too late for this year, but he said nothing as he gave the other two a wave.

Sam was oddly silent on the ride home, which Billy was fairly certain it had to do with the service. Even if he didn’t admit to it. It was odd sometimes, to think about how different his childhood had been in comparison to Kim’s.

Pearl greeted them at the door, sitting on the top of the shoe rack as she meowed loudly. Kim quickly picked her up, nuzzling their cheeks together as he brushed his fingers through her white fur.

“Somebody missed us.” Kim cooed as she brushed her nose against Pearl’s. She stood up straighter a second later, brushing her fingers through her fur as everyone began to remove their shoes.

“I’m going to get lunch finished up,” Rosemary spoke up as she began to pull her hair on top of her head, “Don’t eat too much candy. You too, Sam.” She said as she gave him a warning look, like she wanted him to remember on his own.

“I got it,” He mumbled as he unwrapped his second candy bar of the day, “This is my last one.” He promised with a gleeful smile, following her towards the kitchen. Billy waited until they were gone before he scooped Kim up, earning a squeal from her as he planted a fat kiss against her cheek.

“You two are so disgusting.” Russell huffed out once Billy dropped her onto the floor softly. She laughed, smiling as she balanced herself out once again. He squeezed at her waist, watching as she walked forward.

“One day,” Kim began playfully as she poked Russell’s nose, “You’ll have your own girlfriend to bring home.” Russell’s features fell, his blue eyes turning devastated as he took in her words. Kim straightened up a bit, parting her lips as her features turned to worry. Billy paused for a moment, forgetting that she was in the dark about this.

“Or just a friend,” Billy clarified, “Someone. A partner. Right, Kim?” He nudged her along, hoping that she would catch on without him having to spell it out clearly. She looked at him curiously for a moment before her lips parted.

“Oh,” She straightened up her shoulders, “A partner. Of course. One day you’ll have your own partner to bring home. And then you can be as disgusting with them as you want.” She said as she hugged at Russell’s side again, making his eyes go wide in embarrassment.

“Gross.” Billy responded, wrinkling his nose as Russell’s features burned a bright red. He didn’t think that Russell needed to be thinking about anyone like that. He was too young.

“It’s romantic,” She clarified as she took another piece of candy, “I think it’s cute.” She shrugged her shoulders before she popped it into her mouth, beginning to chew it down happily.

“I’m going anywhere else,” Russell replied as he quickly turned on his feet, only to be attacked by Pearl who had been waiting for him to walk by. She curled her little body around his ankle, digging her front paws into his sock then began to kick with her back paws at his ankle, “Fucker!”

“I didn’t know that-,” She trailed off for a second, a thoughtful look crossing her features, “Well, I suspected it a little bit. Especially when you said that thing about Steve the other day.” She replied as she continued to speak her thoughts out loud.

“I found out accidentally,” He said softly, feeling a bit guilty for keeping it from her, “I didn’t think it was my place to say.” He admitted a second later, hoping that she wouldn’t be upset.

“Oh, absolutely not,” She told him softly as she offered him a piece of candy this time. He shook his head, not really hungry for that at the moment, “It was his own secret to tell. Though, I suppose he didn’t really share it.” She replied as she puckered her lips out, then shrugged her shoulders.

He watched her for a second, a little amazed at how welcoming and open she was with everyone. He loved her kind heart, how she never complained about the way Max behaved or dressed, how she had never thought of Billy as being less than for his past. She was incredible in his eyes.

Dinner was nice, as good as Russell had described it to be. Billy thought that it was the best Easter dinner that he’d ever had. Certainly beat greasy cheeseburgers in a crowded restaurant while Neil watched the sports game. It was nice to feel like he had a home.

Kim surprised him that night, dressing in her smallest nightgown with the pair of bunny ears that she had worn earlier. He continued to trace his fingers up her thighs, across her sides and up to her ribs. He watched the way goosebumps formed on her skin, how her cheeks flushed.

She leaned in for a kiss but he paused, resting his head against hers as he inhaled deeply through his nose. She dragged her fingers across his skin, making sparks form from the sensation.

“What are you doing?” She asked softly as she leaned in again, only for him to pull away. He sat up quickly, feeling like he couldn’t kiss her just yet. He’d smoked one too many cigarettes earlier and could taste the bitter sensation on his tongue. He didn’t want her to suffer from that.

“Don’t go anywhere,” He told her quickly, nodding his head as he held a finger up, “I’ll be right back.” He told her seriously before he turned, walking fast towards the bathroom. He flipped on the light, then shut the door quietly behind him.

He raced once he was inside, beginning to scrub at his teeth and get his breath fresh and clean. He washed his face after that, getting his skin refreshed before he used a towel to dry his skin off.

He took the same motions back down the hall, being careful to keep from waking anyone as he slowly made his way back to their room. Pearl hobbled along beside him, making him groan at the thought of kicking her out.

By the time he returned, Kim was laying on her stomach with an arm underneath her pillow and a leg kicking up towards her hips. He sighed deeply, looking at the way her bunny ears had fallen off onto the floor.

He slowly bent down to pick them up before he rested them on the dresser. He pulled the blankets over her next, getting her comfortable before Pearl jumped up and nestled her body against the back of Kim’s knee.

He bent over, pushing her hair from her forehead before he gave her a soft kiss. He wouldn’t wake her, not when she was sleeping so peacefully. He’d have plenty of time in the future to see her in her little bunny ears once again.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove x oc #billy hargrove stepcest #tw stepcest #tw pseudocest #Dancing in the Dark #Billy Hargrove fluff #Billy Hargrove x original character #Billy Hargrove x Fem!oc #Billy Hargrove x Female!Original character #Original Character #Kim Mayfield #Billy x Kim

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writinginthesecrettrees · 8 months ago

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Currently thinking about Sam getting turned into a woman, and it really doesn't matter how...

Because I'm thinking about Sam waking up tangled in the sheets with Dean as always, and he can tell something is different but he's in that fuzzy place where he can wake up slowly and all he wants to do is snuggle in closer to Dean and doze for a bit longer. He's just drifting off to sleep when Dean grunts. Stirs. Tightens his arm around Sam, pulling Sam closer and that always makes Sam smile.

Then Dean jerks upright, fully awake, and he's staring at Sam and Sam is shaking the sleep out of his head as he says "what?" and his voice doesn't sound right.

There's worry and upset and frantic research and even more frantic calls to Rowena, to Max Banes, to Castiel and anyone they can think of, but soon enough they conclude that it's harmless and temporary and Sam just needs to ride it out for a day or so.

It really doesn't matter; what matters is this:

The worry is gone, the fear is gone, and Dean has time to look at Sammy in his new ladyform. Same eyes, same nose, same hair and height but his already pretty face has a new delicate cast to the features. His slender muscles translate well to femininity, with some extra softness from his new curves.

Ample curves, because Sammy is stacked. It makes sense; he's always had heaving bosoms so it makes sense that ladySammy has tits that make Sam's shirts strain and Dean's mouth water. And reignite an old fantasy, one he hasn't even thought of since he started fucking his brother because damn Sam is everything he wants and needs...

But this is a chance to try something new with Sam...

"Whatever you're thinking, stop."

"Aw, c'mon..."

"No!" Sam looks at him, then looks away. "It's just for a day or so, you can go a couple days without sex."

"But Sammy..."

"Dean, I... look, it's just too weird, okay? I know it's just me, it's still me and you and us, but." Sam sighs. "But it's not my body. It's got the wrong parts and the thought of you touching me in this body is... I mean, I know you like pussy and all, and I know that it's mine but it doesn't feel like mine. It feels wrong!!! I can barely handle peeing right now, I can't... I don't want you to touch it. It makes me sick." Sam looks up at him, somehow always manages to look up even though he's been the taller for half their lives now. "D'you get it?"

And he does. So... "Yeah, I get it. But, Sammy... what if I don't want to touch your pussy?"

"I don't understand."

"I mean, yeah. Pussy's great and all, but your ass is better," he smirks at the way Sam's ears turn red, "and I really wasn't thinking about your pussy. Although if you change your mind and wanna get eaten out I'm down. But I was thinking of something else."

"Something else."

"Uh-huh. Something new. Something I've never done, and since you've never been a real lady before I'm pretty sure you haven't either..."

"... so what were you thinking of?"

Dean leans in close, so close his lips brush against Sam's as he says, "I wanna fuck your tits."

---

Currently thinking of Sam, flat on his back looking down towards his chest and he's using both hands to push his tits together. Dean's dick slides through his cleavage, slick with lube and precum and it's weird but hot and close enough he can lick the tip as Dean thrusts against him. And when Dean's hands join his, holding his tits, massaging the soft flesh and teasing at his nipples he feels a jolt of pleasure in his clit and a surge of wetness in his pussy and he thinks maybe, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let Dean eat him out.

#wincest #late season wincest #tiddyfcking #im in a mood #🍋#ns*w

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tragedytells-tales · 1 year ago

Text

Obey Me Incorrect quotes

Notes - quotes from poker nights + Sam and max, Feat. Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor + the rare Luke, Solomon, Simeon, and Barbatos appearance

Summary - A bunch of stupid incorrect quotes and sometimes they're out of character on purpose!

Warnings - Slight game spoilers, Chaotic and traumatized MC, Forth wall breaking

Tw - Gambling, Strong language, Guns, Violence ( nongraphic )

MC: Well of course you won with THOSE cards! Even Luci could'a won with those cards, and all he can do is talk about alcohol and how much of a poor single widowed mother he is!

Lucifer: Where in the three realms did you lot hide my demoneus now?

MC: shut the FUCK UP LUCI‼️ and people say I'M annoying??

( Telltales games : poker nights )

MC: Hey asmo, what do you think I should do?

Asmodeus: Tell her how you really feel before she runs off with Blaine!

MC: About the hand, chucklehead.

Asmodeus: Oh. Check.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Demon student: I gotta ask, what's it like living on a different plain of existence?

MC: It's great! As long as you ignore the constant firefights, random explosions, human eating plants, the fact that everyone I know and love has killed me, attempted to kill me, assisted in almost getting me killed, worsened my trust issues, or that every demon could try to eat my soul at any time- The devildom really is a home away from home!

Everyone (aside from Solomon, Simeon, and Luke): *whistles*

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: This decks gone colder than my ex. Zombie not demon, they were actually kinda hot!

MC: Sometimes I regret being brought down here. this isn't one of em though, tell me more!

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, talking about Michael: I've only become aware of your existence for 1 minute and I already unapologetically hate you AND everything that you stand for!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Hey! how much property damage do you think I can get away with in the span of, let's sayy, 2 minutes?

Belphegor: considering your last record, I'd say the entirety of RAD plus half of the forest.

Lucifer: yOU WHAT??

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, watching the brothers fight: I believe I need to get in touch with my anger, Satan.

Satan: I can help with that!

( Sam & Max S1 E15 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I believe our persuasive charm could have him seeing things our way!

MC: Or not seeing anything at all.

( Sam & Max S1 E15 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: And what in the 7 rings happened here?

Barbatos: I'll tell you what just happened here, they just drove a man insane.

Mammon and Asmo: all in a days work!

( Sam and Max S1 E15 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Solomon: STOP THEIVES!

MC: Y'know that never works, right?

Solomon: Oh, I know. But it's such a wonderful prelude to the impending mayhem!

( Sam and Max S1 E16 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo, squeezing MC: I will pet you, and love you, and subjugate you to my every will!

( Sam and Max S1 E16 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I think that poor human has been forever scared, Barbatos.

Barbatos: Then our work here is done, my liege.

( Sam and Max S1 E16 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Beelzebub: Not to be skeptical or anything, but what makes this little human a potential weapon of doom?

MC: :]

( Sam and Max S1 E17 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Oh I think I understand, you want me to feel like any other person with freakishly destructive powers! You guys are so sweet!

( Sam and Max S1 E17 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Well this is an unlikely turn of events.

Mammon: Foiled by some oversized rubber baby buggy bumper. ( He's talking about Belphie. )

( Sam and Max S1 E18 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: Hey MC, what am I?

MC: Dumb question, you're a doof.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo, playing UNO: Is that a good idea? Cause honestly, I don't really know what I'm doing!

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Solomon: I want one, but it's not for me. It's for my friend, Luke!

Luke: Don't go dragging me into your slighty malevolent and silly schemes, Solomon.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Simeon: 25th anniversary huh?

Beel: yup.

Simeon: But didn't you guys get together in the same year as the exchange program?

Beel: yes, I guess so.

Simeon: then that was 26 years ago?

MC *from afar*: MATH NEEEEEEEEEERD!!

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I think this has taught us all a very important lesson. But I'll be damned if I can figure out what.

Luke: I'm unsure how much more damned you can get and I'm afraid to find out.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmodeus: Move freely he says. In these heels?!

( Sam and Max S1 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: So that's why I always feel an overbearing presence just out of my field of vision, watching and judging my every move! *stares at the forth wall*

In-game MC, at his side: That's me dude.

( Sam and Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Demon student, looking at Luke: How far would you go if I punt you?

MC: HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING. He's my lil angel.

( Sam and Max devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Simeon: Do you two know what happened?

Luke: I can't lie to Simeon!

MC: I can, kid! No, no we do not.

( Sam and Max the devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: MC, where do you put all your school supplies?

MC: In my backpack of course!

Lucifer: But you're a sheep. Where do you put your backpack?

MC: Now that is none of your damn business, Luci.

( Sam and Max the devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: Magnatism? Don't tell me you're one of those kooks!

Satan: You don't believe in Magnatism?

Mammon: It's an interesting theory, but I'm not convinced.

Satan: This is almost as bad as Beel believing curry is a concept.

( Sam & Max beyond space and time )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: What in Diavolos name is going on in here?!

MC: My tomfoolery is none of your concern.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: MC, I believe I have developed feelings for you over the time we've known eachother.

MC: Huh, feelings of anger?? You wanna fight?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: MC, I didn't study for this test?! What do I write?!

MC: That's our marriage certificate, Mammon.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Belphi, wake up!

Belphegor: Huhh, what is it MC?

MC: You fucked up big time.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: I'm going to commit mass arson, and no one can stop me!

Lucifer: Why.

MC: ...Good question. Chaos.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: A blackout in a room full of violent creatures? Ah, don't be such a fussypants!

Mammon: A FUSSYPANTS??

( Sam & Max S1 E12 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Beelzebub: I'm Beel! And this is my huggable family!

Everyone in the room: Please don't hug us.

( Sam and Max this time it's virtual! )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmodeus: and here's the house of lamination! A colorful and full of life home that came to be under mysterious circumstances!

MC: By "colorful" He means decaying, filled with demonic forces, and smells like certain damnation with a hint of mildew. And by "mysterious" he means a psychologically scarring murder house turned horror movie that was dragged down here by Lucifer himself.

( Sam and Max this time it's virtual! )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: I thought we needed one of those mermaid candies to breath down here.

MC: It's fiction, jarhead. We have ridiculous lung capacity.

( Sam & Max s1 E2 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

*During the angels event*

MC: Kindness? Charity? Understanding!? When will this hellish nightmare end?!

( Sam and Max )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Beelzebub: You aren't scared of me?

MC: Me? Scared of you? Why should I be, you're a big blubber of man.

( Life of Melody )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: You're looking hale and hearty today Lucifer!

Lucifer: I had five years worth of coffee in five minutes Diavolo.

( Sam and Max hit the road )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: MC, you have as much of a say in this as anyone else does.

MC: You mean like how I had a say in my technical kidnapping and all of my many near death experiences?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, walks into the room with a gigantic lint roller covered in dog fur: So I lint rolled the puppy.

Mammon: Okay.

* five minutes later *

Mammon: Wait MC did what?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: This is your first and final warning! Pull over or die!

( Sam and Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, looks at the dislike portion of the student ID: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Simeon: Can I drive?

MC: Jumping vehicular homicide, no!

( Sam & Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: What do you have?

Solomon: A microwave!

MC: Somehow that's worse than you having a knife.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: They say an idle mind is the devils playhouse

MC: How curiously insulting.

( Sam & Max the devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: Are you sensing my desire to turn you into a QUIET LIL HANDBAG.

Luke: Satan.

Satan: Sorry.

( Sam and Max S1 E10 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Daivolo: Hey MC, can I-

MC: No.

(Sam and Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Question, when was panda express constructed?

Beelzebub: Uhhhh 1776??

MC: Ah yes, during the American revolution!

( sunny side skies )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: What're ya gonna do? Gimme the silent treatment?

MC: .....

Mammon: Nooo, stop, pleeeease!!!

MC: Never underestimate the power of passive aggression, mams.

( Sam & Max beyond space and time )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: By the name of the moon I will kick thy ass!

( colors of my canvas )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: MC, can I ask why you're parkouring over furniture and nearly breaking every vase in sight?

MC: Lilith keeps trying to touch me with her icy hands!

Lilith: they're not that cold MC! I promise!

MC: YOU'RE DEAD! THEY'RE FREEZING.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: Where is your "can-do" attitude?

MC: She left, long ago!

( heartstopper show s1 e1 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke *with the most serious face he can muster*: MC, I don't want to be friends anymore!

MC: Yeah, okay, that's cool lil buddy-

Luke: MC? MC are you crying?

MC: No, no, it's okay, this is fine-

Luke: MC, you're sobbing.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: Cerberus is ment to discouraged you from coming into the unground tomb.

MC, currently cuddling with a sleeping cerberus and peting his heads: And?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: It's so sad frisk died of ligma

Belphegor: who's frisk?

MC: ligma balls

Belphegor: AHHH-

( Saying alot of things as Kris )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Are there British people here in the devildom?

Diavolo: What?

Soloman: Of course not MC, British people aren't real.

Diavolo: What???

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lilith: why are you the size of a shrimp?

Belphegor: Why are you nonexistent in a physical form?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: If I gave Diavolo a lemon, he would disintegrate and I would become the ruler of the devildom, and that's the way the world turns.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: -to make them think they've come here willing and have them be more submissive."

Solomon: *cough*andbreedable*cough*

Mammon: MC, you've been drugged- Solomon????????

Lucifer: I can't have a moment of peace.

( The Day Out by @/beels-burger-babe )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: It's just sitting there, menacingly...

MC: It's literally just eating grass.

Diavolo: It's looking at me with cold, dead, eyes...

MC: It is entirely focused on the grass.

Diavolo: It's unnatural.... how can something be so, complacent?! So, unbothered?? So... So uncaring about what may happen should it let it's guard down for even a second?!

MC: That's because not everything runs on caffeine, procrastination, and daddy issues, Diavolo.

Diavolo: It's scary! 🥺

MC: It's a Capybara.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Plural for platypus, go.

Platipy- Mammon , Daivolo , Luke , Beelzebub

Platypuses- Satan , Lucifer , Barbatos

*windows shut down* - Levi , Simeon

Platypuss(e)s - Asmo , Belphi , Solomon

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: You good?

MC: No.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Player: AYO!

MC: huh?!

Player * dragging MC *: let's go bud, we're off to therapy!

MC: WAIT-

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmo: Asdsgvdfdzkga!!@^$$"'

MC: ....Pardon?

Asmo: You don't know keysmash?

MC: This is an audible conversation.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke: Please let this be a normal day...

MC: With these several idiots? No way!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Hold on- how was I able to hear him from my room, which is by the kitchen down the hall from the stairs, from the attic?

Beelzebub: Big attic.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

* C R A S H *

Teen!MC: are you okay dude?

Teen!Demon: yeah I'm fine *scurrys away*

Beelzebub: they were flirting with you btw.

Teen!MC: what?

Beelzebub: Yeah, they were showing off their magic for a few minutes now. Kinda a shame you only noticed when they crashed.

Teen!MC: Damn, that's rough.

MC: All dirt is grime but not all grime is dirt.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: Huh?

MC: All poultry is meat but not all meat is poultry.

Beelzebub: Correct.

MC: All math is calculated but not everything that is calculated is math.

Satan: Alright now you're just going off the rails.

MC: All pails are buckets but not all buckets are pale.

Asmo: MC, dear, I think you're sleep deprived.

MC: You can read all books but not all books have been read.

Lucifer: context, Also it is 2 am. Why are you up?

MC: Osmosis is always diffusion. But diffusion is not always Osmosis.

Belphegor: Very true.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

* Loud explosion *

Mammon * from across the castle *: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT MC??

MC: that, was the sound- * peeks into the kitchen * OF THE KITCHEN BEING BURNED DOWN?!?!

Solomon: * cackling *

(Helluva boss )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke: I am not a child and I don't need to be treated like one!

MC: You're literally 10. I don't know who traumatized you or how but it is fine to be a 10 year old with 10 year old feelings.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: All is forgiven-

Someone far away: BABY, C'MON GET DRESSED, YOU'RE MY DATE TO THE PEP RALLY TONIGHT!!

Solomon: Oh no.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Teen!MC: Fuck it, let's go to hell!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: They be like "I'm good and fine!" Sir, you are mentally ill and have suppressed half of your lifetime, nothing about you is "fine".

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC & Barbatos: YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY, RIGHT ROUND, LIKE A RECORD BABY, RIGHT ROUND ROUND ROUND

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Have you no free will friend?!

Asmodeus: Excuse you, I'll have you know I did that morally injust thing on purpose.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I have a task for you-

MC: No.

Diavolo: wait what?

MC: No.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: * crying over Liliths body, reeling from war, daddy issues sky high, extraordinarily traumatized *

Diavolo: I can fix him!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke: Ah, shit.

Simeon: Sir?

* later *

Simeon: Goddammit.

Michael: Excuse me?

* even later *

Michael: Son of a bitch.

MC: I didn't even say anything.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: So if I take off the ring I could potentially collapse all the realms, ending the worlds as we know it?

Solomon: yes.

MC: So the ring is the only thing stopping me being consumed by own magic and essentially killing me?

Solomon: yes.

MC: And the ring should be kept on at all times?

Solomon: Not really, but yes.

MC: You mean... the ring that's laying on the floor right next you?

Solomon: Pardon?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC after getting 6 hours of sleep over the span of three days because Belphegor doesn't stop whining: Can the DEMONIC BEINGS that go THUMP in the ATTIC, SHUT UP?!

Belphie: *stomping his feet* IF I HAVE TO SUFFER SO DO YOU

MC: WELL I DIDN'T LOCK YOU IN THERE, NOW DID MR ELDER BROTHER ISSUES?!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: You're an irritable sheep today, aren't you?

MC: Yeah, well, why don't try sitting in this smelly booth while I beat the hell outta helpless fish?

( Sam and Max hit the road )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmodeus: He hasn't stopped balling, or spewing, or having violent fits of rage since we brought him home! I wonder what's vexing him so...

Bb Satan: * Screaming bloody murder *

( Sam and Max S1 E10 )

AN - I needed a break from writing a long chapter and refound this. I don't know what it is either.

#obey me shall we date #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me crack

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