#matues events

[bookwyrminspiration]

many people are mentioning the prevalence of "dying from shock" in victorian era novels and wondering about it, and now I've got 37 tabs open and might need to request a pdf from an author, but so far what I'm getting is that there was a correlation between guilt/atonement and shock at the time (with a focus on the perpetrator and not the victim), and "shock does not cause emotional disturbance but serves as the name for a variety of extreme emotional reactions" (Loesberg, 2011). Emotions are a form of shock, shock isn't an emotion itself, I think (I believe traumas and their lasting effects are also counted as shock). Which also means that guilt falls under the domain of those emotions, so it's possible in the case of Mr. Lanyon he is dying not from being shocked by something, but by the guilt of what he knows or has done (whatever that may be). To correct this situation, you would need to correct the guilt, but he has not.

Additionally, when speaking on Victorian literature, Matus said, "Literature imagines the aftermath of disaster for the victim and so helps to establish a discourse about the mind’s vulnerability to overwhelming experience" (2010), which combined with another source saying "Victorian intellectuals insisted on the reality of a spiritual life higher than that of the body" (Douglas, 1991) may indicate that a mental disturbance such as guilt, referred to as shock, could be powerful enough to affect the body based on Victorian understanding. As we're dealing with fiction, this could then be heightened to an extreme in literature that may not have been present in real life and lead to death. Which we've seen mention of several times. There did appear to be a fascination with death from Victorian literature, which this may be an extension of.

However, take all this with a grain of salt as I am not nearly an expert and this is only like one hour worth of research and potential understandings/conclusions. So keep that in mind as I'm absolutely positive there's more to it than this, but this may serve as a sort of introductory to some things going on with medicine and psychology (which didn't truly exist yet) during the events of the book. Hope that helps, because I find it interesting :)

[mariacallous]

Long subjected to harmful practices, including forced sterilisation, transgender people in Slovakia are still finding themselves a political target even in the aftermath of the terrorist attack on an LGBT bar in Bratislava.

The October 2022 terrorist attack against the LGBT community in Bratislava marked a new era for transgender people in the country, but not one many expect to be more positive.

Even though existing requirements to undergo transition were already challenging and included surgical sterilisation before a transgender person could change their documentation, the aftermath of the attack has contributed to even greater fears about the future inside the community, rights groups say.

On October 12, a 19-year-old man shot two people dead outside Teplaren, one of the few LGBT bars in Bratislava. A bisexual man and a non-binary person were killed, while a third person was injured but survived. After an investigation, the National Crime Agency concluded that the act constituted a terrorist attack – the first in the history of modern Slovakia.

The tragic event came at a time when the climate was already hostile for LGBT people. Diana Pruchnerovicova, an LGBT activist and ex-director of Rainbow Pride Bratislava, said in the aftermath of the attack that her community frequently bore the brunt of hostile statements by politicians from across the political divide in parliament. She referred to a 2013 comment from Slovak MP Stefan Kuffa in relation to LGBT rights, in which he said that, “it would be better to put a millstone around your neck and toss you in the water”.

“We are the target of many such statements, and we have no way to defend ourselves,” Pruchnerovicova said.

Zara Kromkova, a trans woman and community worker for Prizma, an LGBT support group in Kosice, pointed out that five legislative proposals aiming to ban legal or medical gender transition have come before the current parliament since it began in March 2020.

“All of them brought hate narratives against transgender people among the general public,” Kromkova said. “Politicians use transgender people to cover for their failures in other areas, such as fighting the pandemic, inflation or the energy crisis.”

Victim blaming

Igor Matovic, the former prime minister and finance minister, has been one of the most outspoken critics of transgenderism on his Facebook account. One of his comments in early January read: “Turning 12-year-old girls into men? That’s sick. Remade men competing in women’s sports? That’s sick,” he wrote.

Critics say Matovic’s attacks on the transgender community are part of his strategy to gain more support among conservative voters. “He is doing this as an attempt to save his political career,” wrote Matus Kostolny, editor-in-chief of the Slovak daily Dennik N.

Matovic is also notorious for publishing a controversial Facebook post only a few days after the terrorist attack on Teplaren. “I am hetero,” he wrote at the time. “I am a man and I feel like a man.”

In November, it came to light that the archbishop of Trnava, Jan Orosch, had written in an internal document sent to Slovakia’s priests that he did not consider the two queer victims of the terrorist attack to be innocent, and questioned whether the police had actually carried out a drug search of the bar.

Orosch later apologised, but his remarks exemplified a conflict between the Slovak Catholic Church and people with more liberal views that can be traced back to a 2013 pastoral letter read out in churches, in which the leadership compared the queer community to a “culture of death”.

Cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment

For years, Slovakia was one of those European countries that required mandatory sterilisation for transgender people involving the removal of internal reproductive organs – a practice that has been criticised by a wide range of international bodies, including the UN.

A 2013 UN report by the Special Rapporteur on torture and other cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment stated that there is “an abundance of accounts and testimonies of persons being denied medical treatment, subjected to verbal abuse and public humiliation, psychiatric evaluation, a variety of forced procedures such as sterilization, state-sponsored forcible anal examinations for the prosecution of suspected homosexual activities, and invasive virginity examinations conducted by health-care providers, hormone therapy and genital normalizing surgeries under the guise of so called ‘reparative therapies’, all of which can have serious impact on the persons’ wellbeing.”

The report further stated that, “the mandate has noted that members of sexual minorities are disproportionately subjected to torture and other forms of ill-treatment because they fail to conform to socially constructed gender expectations,” adding that 29 European states required forced sterilisations at the time.

Yet in April 2022, guidelines for gender recognition in Slovakia were changing. The health minister at the time, Vladimir Lengvarsky, signed a new gender reassignment protocol suspending surgical sterilisation, which activists openly welcomed. But in the months that followed, conservative politicians, such as Anna Zaborska from the Christian Union party as well as 20 conservative politicians from the coalition-leading Ordinary People and Independent Personalities (OĽaNO) opposed the document.

Lengvarsky was subjected to sustained political attack, which led him to suspend the protocol shortly after it was signed.

In December 22, a group of medical professionals signed a collective statement opposing any form of transition therapy for transgender people. The signatories, which now number over 400, referred to a medical definition of “transsexualism”, that “the origin of the disease remains unknown and does not have a biological origin”, and that medical or social transition are not therefore a solution.

The petition has been widely criticised by human rights organisations, including Amnesty International, which accuses the signatories of “misleading [their audience] and basing their demands on wrong interpretations of data and studies of dubious sources”.

As of today, the practice of sterilisation remains in place in Slovakia. A transgender man who wished to stay in anonymity for fear of reprisals told BIRN that a psychiatrist is currently “forcing him to undergo a hysterectomy”, causing great psychological distress.

“There is still an ‘F’ for female on my legal documents, impossible to change without the sterilisation. It has been like that for seven years,” he explained, adding that the doctor still uses his female name and tells him their “anatomy cannot be lied to”.

“I was also told that I was a ‘deviant’ by a urologist and a gynaecologist who saw my body,” he told BIRN.

Kromkova from Prizma told BIRN that similar cases are frequent and that many doctors “use obsolete methods that often include checking the underwear of the trans person.” She added that humiliation, doubting trans people’s true feelings and conditioning the transition by forcing a divorce on the person in cases they were married before, are also frequent.

Andrej Kuruc, a psychologist working for InPoradna helpline for LGBT people in Slovakia, told BIRN that many transgender people don’t even dare to go out on the streets.

“They go through distressing attacks at the hands of politicians and medical authorities – such as the comments of Igor Matovic. They hear that they are sick or deviant, and should undergo conversion therapies, which further worsens their psychological health,” Kuruc said.

He added that in the current climate, many transgender people consider leaving the country or even entertain ideas of suicide.

[thecountydiary]

Jordan Hospital Kitui to Host Free Medical Camp in Partnership with Maxi Vision Eye Clinic*

By TCD DIGITAL Jordan Hospital Ltd in Kitui, in collaboration with Maxi Vision Eye Clinic, is organizing a Free Medical Camp from November 21st to 23rd, 2024. The event will start at 8:00 am each day at Jordan Hospital Kitui (Level 5), led by Dr. Matu. This camp offers a great opportunity for community members to access free medical services. Bookings are open, so secure your spot and take…

[kaoarika]

Early this week I was able to watch Undelu's first episode and I still have the same complaints I had due to the first impressions I DID have when it aired WAY back last year :)

I don't think the first ep needed to be SO artistry or too symbolic in some parts. I mean, I know ex-SHAFT staff worked on this... but I still don't feel it needed it (the tilt heads meme that SHAFT is full well known is still rotting in my mind after all these years, it seems) and I feel it goes better with stuff like 3gatsu rather than... Undelu.

OH, the first sequence is NICE and it implies in some way or form that might be the anime adaptation of To You From Me, with all the context/parallels of the Loops, Victor, Juiz and the fact that I ALWAYS forget Undelu happens in some weird alternate world than ours... but it didn't have to go hard like THAT, lol (also some parallels with IRL Undelu's anime adaptation vs the manga... I have read reactions that are ALL over the place for the pacing of the anime's season, so, that might be fun :)) )

I miss the crowd from the first scene of Fuuko and Andy... it feels so strange and lonely... it works better that there was a crowd and not... just THEM???

My brother insisted to watch it with the LatAm dub, so I cannot really be against it. So far, it's good... but it feels a bit... weird because it's ALSO using other Spanish translation than what the manga uses (I always suspected that the manga is using Spain's manga TL and it's being "fixed" for it to be neutral) and there's also the biiiig familiarity of reading the manga in English. SO. WEIRD.

To put it briefly:

English -> Spanish (Manga) -> Spanish (Anime)

Unluck -> Desafortunada -> Infortunio

Soemthing about synonims and words and nouns that are rarely used in Spanish becase there are alternatives that are better well known and used in our dialect and some feel like REAL, REAL deep cuts that I have rarely seen other ppl use in prose context (ie unluck is basically mala suerte)

Andy is named like such in the LatAm anime's localization because "Anti-muerte" and Anti -> Andy sound similar I guess (we all know it's because Andy - Undead and it's pronounciation in Japanese as its a borrowed word from English... so)

I know that Tozuka never anticipated the series would get translated other than English (and I think he even mentions that his assistants may know a bit better English than him, regardless), so there's going to be nouns and such that would be weird in my language translation later on (Unjust and Unfair both mean "injusto" >.>, the manga opted for "Ilegal" for Unfair... and yet it still doesn't sound right when certain someone gives hints of what their real ability is >.>, it TECHNICALLY has the same meaning as "injusto" in certain situations -ie cheating-, i will be real, but other than THAT...)

The dub is okay, so far. I think Edson Matus is the highlight because he fits Andy's gruff voice a lot (yet I want to listen to Youkyan, because... Youkyan) and he is currently one of my bro's fave dub actors at the moment (he voices Charlie in Smili*ng Friends, and I concur, he sounds awesome there). look, I am SOOOO tempted that in any chance they get him here, I will bring either vol 1 or my figure to get it signed (below the figure base, sorry :V*)

STILL A FREAKING DAMN SHAME D*SNEY+ GOT THIS, THOUGH.

(I'm just looking at the next new anime adaptation releases of Blue Box and Sak*amoto Days in Ne*tflix and... FRICK, you know?)

*Reminder that I don't go to anime cons since 2017 because going on my own is not fun and it's basically "rinse and repeat" with merch stands and the expensive tickets for all that and a conventions monopoly and open secrets about the whole organizing event thing????

[rottenappleusach]

Results: Second Writing Contest

The Rotten Apple

We held our second essay writing contest by the end of November, 2021. This time we had the contribution from our Dean Cristina Moyano who supported us with the wonderful prizes for our winners. Our contest jurors were our professors Gabriel Romero and Miguel Farías and Francsico Matus and Ricardo Luna, alumni from The University of Santiago de Chile.

We, as The Rotten Apple, would like to extend our thanks to everyone involved, both organizers and participants; this event would not have had the success it had without all of you.

So, from our mushy peel and dried-up stem to the centre of our rotten core, we thank you.

The Rotten Apple USACH’s Literary Magazine

First Prize Valeria Alejandra Inostroza/ “A Country Called Green” (Universidad Diego Portales) Second Prize Roberto Arenas/“Chile the Oasis that never was” (Universidad de Santiago de Chile) Third Prize Sebastián Madariaga Disegni/ "The Symbolism of Words: From being unable to being able” (Universidad Central)

Honorary Mentions: 

Marina Vargas González/“Chile, Where do we go now?” (Universidad Adventista de Chile) Paula Lisset Agüero/“Allow me to Dream” (Universidad de los Lagos) Constanza Nicole Fernández Bahamonde/“Let Chile start being Chile” (Universidad San Sebastián, Sede de la Patagonia, Puerto Montt)

[theprovinggrounds-blog]

Proving Grounds Social XXVI Promo: Beach Special!

Good people of Eorzea! You beloved Promo Writer Extraordinaire, Pressed Ham returns to service in the Proving Grounds writing offices after overseeing the wildest tourney in the history of the games! Though we could all bask in the glory of the Golden Dagger championship for another moon easily, time marches forward and so does the well tended schedule of the ‘Grounds! And that can only mean we are closing in on the next bloody bout of carnage for the whole family! And as such, we’re right on the doorstep of our next Proving Ground’s Social!

In a special celebration for the final days of the Moonfire Faire, we’ll be hosting our Social and the next series of fights on the festival island just off the coast of Costa del Sol! So come out to the beautiful shores of La Noscea, grab yourself a fried fish and popoto basket and enjoy the Fighter Selection Ceremony live! Gather at the rear pavillion (( 36.5 , 25.5 )) in Eastern La Noscea on ((Saturday, August 24th)) at ((8 PM EST, 5 PM PST))! Don’t forget to come in your best beachwear!

[worldwidewagsstyle1]

Maria Teresa Matus (Arturo Vidal | FC Bayern Munich) wore:

Edelweiss Munchem Dirndl

Louis Vuitton Rockabily Ankle Boots -£1,190.00

Thank you so much anon ♡

[kelemengabi]

Transhumanism in the light of theology, philosophy and science – critical perspective and Christian metaphysical implications,

Faculty of Letters, Theology and History of the West University Timisoara will organizes the International Conference with the topic “Transhumanism in the light of theology, philosophy and science – critical perspective and Christian metaphysical implications” (Timișoara, November 4-7, 2021). In this academic event we will bring the transhumanist ideal into conversation with modern philosophy and Christian theology. We are inviting you to participate in this conference to examine, from the perspective of philosophy and theology, the recent cultural movement calling itself transhumanism, that combines biology with technology, enhancing our bodies and brains with scientific innovation, seeking to overcome the limitations of our flesh.

The dialogue between science, theology and philosophy lately has managed a notable move in a fresh creative direction. This is owed largely to his principal aim of juxtaposing the conventional modern philosophical and cosmological concerns with the theological ideas and methods of the early Church Fathers. Therefore, the main objective of this conference is to advance the science and theology discourse along an existential route, employing Patristic ideas toward a new synthesis with modern philosophy and science and, thus, to locate scientific knowledge and faith as twin activities of the contemporary shared human subjectivity.

Technology has become constitutive of the identity of modern human being. The incorporation of technology into human self-understanding has alarmed both theologians and secular humanists – technology applied to the inner life dehumanizes us. No amount of increased intelligence will redeem us from what the theologians call sin. Human nature is not capable of changing through the augmentation of intelligence. There is here a confusion of sociological evolution with spiritual progress.

The theologian looks forward to the divine transformation or deification, and not to enhance human intelligence through technological augmentation. A full answer to the problems inherent within the dream of transhumanism would have to include a revaluation of personhood. There is a theological response that will be shared by all Christians: the human person is made in the image of God.As the debate grows in urgency, how should theology respond? The scholars that have joined for this conference are voices that together want to bring fresh insight into the technologies that are already reshaping the future of Christian life and hope. Technological dehumanization versus God’s promise for ultimate transformation (theosis) – this is the debate about. 

What will Christian theology to the transhuman ideal, as a kind of alternative story of salvation? Transhumanism can mean overcoming our garment of flesh, and the reformation of human knowledge through the sciences also means to fight against the Fall of man, resembling a nature rivaling its creator.

This calls on Christians to understand and engage with some of the deep issues facing the church in a technological, transhumanist future and to considers how technology can help or harm genuine spiritual transformation. Are there theological insights and spiritual practices that can help Christians face the challenge of living in a technological world without being dangerously conformed to its values? This calls on the Christians to understand and engage with the deep issues facing the church in a technological, transhumanist future.

Is this transhumanist belief (their faith and trust in a combination of biological evolution and technological progress) acceptable to contemporary science? Perhaps not. But, we can do here a theological and philosophical critique of it. Christianity is the real challenge to transhumanism, not the other way around.

KEYNOTE SPEAKERS:

RONALD COLE-TURNER (H. Parker Sharp Professor of Theology and Ethics, Pittsburgh Theological Seminary)

GEORGE KHUSHF (Professor of Philosophy, Director of the Center for Bioethics, University of South Carolina)

ANDREW NEWBERG (Director of Marcus Institute of Integrative Health, Thomas Jefferson University, Philadelphia, PA)

PHILIPPE GAGNON (Chaire Sciences, technosciences et foi à l’heure de l’écologie intégrale, Université Catholique de Lille)

WILLIAM GRASSIE (Director of Metanexus Institute, Philadelphia)

JAMES LAWRENCE (Faculty of Theology and Religion, University of Oxford)

YANNICK IMBERT (Doyen, Professeur d’apologétique, Faculté Jean Calvin, Aix-en-Provence)

CHRISTOPHER KNIGHT (Institute for Orthodox Christian Studies, IOCS Cambridge)

MIRCEA DUMITRU (Romanian Academy & Faculty of Philosophy, University of Bucharest)

ȘTEFAN CÂRSTEA (National Institute of Physics and Nuclear Engineering IFIN-HH)

ADRIAN SORIN MIHALACHE (Director of the Center for Interdisciplinary Research on Religion and Science, University of Iași)

COSTEA MUNTEANU (Faculty of International Business and Economics, Bucharest University of Economic Studies)

NICU GAVRILUȚĂ (Faculty of Philosophy and Social-Political Sciences, University ”Alexandru Ioan Cuza” Iași)

ȘTEFAN TRĂUȘAN-MATU (Computer Science, University Politehnica of Bucharest)

ADRIAN LEMENI (Faculty of Orthodox Theology, University of Bucharest)

CLAUDIU MESAROȘ (Faculty of Political Sciences, Philosophy and Communication, West University of Timisoara)

ALIN GAVRELIUC (Faculty of Sociology and Psychology, West University of Timisoara)

SORIN MUȘUROI (Politehnica University of Timisoara)

NICHIFOR TĂNASE (Faculty of Letters, Theology and History, West University of Timișoara)

GABRIEL KELEMEN (Faculty of Arts and Design, West University of Timişoara)

https://www.uvt.ro/en/blog/transhumanism-in-the-light-of-theology-philosophy-and-science-critical-perspective-and-christian-metaphysical-implications/

[morkmywords]

Not Really a Cinderella Story | Royalty au | Exo | Sehun | Part 12

Masterlist | Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 8.5 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12  Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 [FINAL]

Royalty!AU

Length: 3.2k

Note: uhhhhhh hi, so school ate my life and i have no time anymore but this is finally finished even if its a shorter part also its not edited but when is it ever

I also want to that @haveanotherkpopblog and @theonethatcompletesyou  you have supported me since i first started this fanfic and blog in  general and you guys are my main motivation most of the time and i’m so sorry i can’t update more regularly but I hope you like this

Warnings: nothing really

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Genre: Fluff/angst

Summary: When a strange string of not so great events somehow and you with a job at the palace punching the wrong people can be not so great.

The tapping of your slippers against the old marble floors was the only sound aside from your breathing as you once again stepped into the ballroom. The murals which decorated the domed ceiling of the cavernous room seemed to be covered with a grey filter, blurring the once bright colours which were now peeling away. You had been in Oclaria’s palace for almost two months now but the image of the forgotten ballroom haunted you as if the spirits of the people who once danced within it were buried in your heart. Ever since you had crossed the border between the two countries it felt as if a thin sheet had been thrown over your eyes, everything felt so familiar yet the sheer fabric only let you see shapes, hiding the details from your eyes.

Soon after entering the palace you quickly learned about the king who had passed, Sehun’s uncle. Long before you or Sehun were born the Queen, whom the King loves dearly, finally was pregnant with a child to the joy of the entire kingdom. Parties were held at every street corner, that is, until the baby was born still and took the Queen’s life with it. Heartbroken, the King locked himself away, sending every courtier back to their own territories and dismissing all the staff, keeping only those necessary to make sure the palace didn’t crumble around them. Nobody heard or saw from the King aside from those few servants, no parties or meeting were held and thus the palace was forgotten. Instead, being taken over by years upon years of dust and cobwebs.

The staff you arrived with easily outnumbered the current ones left by the King five to one, they were given the option to leave or stay when Sehun arrived and much to everyone’s surprise many chose to stay. With that, slowly the palace began to fill up again, more staff were hired, the stables and gardens were restored, and slowly the lords and ladies once again took up their places at court. The palace quickly transformed from the desolate and erie place you arrived to, when the grime was scrubbed away and a new coat of paint was slathered on the walls the palace was beautiful, more so than even the ice palace of Matus. But the ballroom was left untouched along with most of the east wing, which made it your favourite place to spend the long days. Though more often than not, you found yourself spending most of your time alone, the days were never predictable. For a man who was supposed to be preoccupied with learning how to govern a country Sehun sure managed to find a lot of free time. Almost every morning you would wake up to find a gift addressed to you waiting in front of your door from none other than the soon to be king. The gifts ranged from anything as simple as a bouquet of your favourite flowers which as the note explained, he grew in the gardens himself, or a new book for you to read. Sometimes he would to to such extremes as leaving a huge arm chair so plush and cushioned you had no idea how it would fit through your door, and gifting you an entirely new wardrobe full of hand crafted gowns, all with sleeves that would cover to your wrists. When there weren’t gifts there was always a letter left, your name scrawled on the envelope in familiar hand writing asking you to meet later in the day or apologizing and promising to make it up to you if he’s too tied up with work.

His favourite place to go with you was the palace gardens, a maze of paths twisting in between rows of flowers and plants that stretched almost as far as the palace itself. The first time you visited it with him he told you that the previous queen had loved to garden too, so much in fact, that as a wedding gift his uncle had ordered the expansion of the garden to add six different expansions, spring, summer, autumn, winter, day, and night. Over the course of her life the gardens were constructed one by one. Spring which bloomed every year with a myriad of colours in the warm rain, summer which was filled with ponds, a large oak tree with a swing hanging off one of the large branches in the center. Autumn was lined with orchards and other crops, providing endless produce that will last throughout the season and into the winter, speaking of which, winter was a forest of pine and spruce trees, pond in the middle freezing over and creating a skating rink. Day and night were the last two gardens going to be created but as soon as day’s glittering greenhouses and sparkling fountains were completed, the Queen died along with the baby girl they were going to name Luna after the moon which she admired. Overwhelmed by grief, the king had ordered the construction of the Night garden to be stopped and over the years it never resumed and thus fell into disrepair.

One of his other favourite things to do was to steal you away to the palace kitchen under the rouse of cooking a meal together when in reality you usually ended up doing all the work as Sehun played around with whatever weird vegetables he could find. Sometimes you two would wander around the city together, or you two would just sit in each other's company reading in the library. As much as spending time with Sehun made you bubble over with joy and your heart soar it didn’t.

And it all started when he first asked.

“Will you marry me?”

The chuckle in his voice and smile on his face would suggest there was a light heartedness around his question but with one look in his eyes you could see how it was weighing on him. With a seriousness you had never seen before. Jokingly you brushed it off, making some excuse about him snoring to loud but he kept asking. And with each time he asked the seriousness grew no matter how much you turned him down. There was always a nagging at the back of your mind, making your stomach churn with nerves so you kept turning him down.

The fact that most of the palace residents knew of your infatuation wasn't doing much good either. Many of the staff members fawned after your relationship, telling you their endless dreams of finding a significant other that was as sweet as Sehun was to you but as much as the mention of your relationship to the prince made you squirm they weren't the problem. The real problem was the court officials, it was no secret that they were pushing Sehun who had only just been crowned king to get married and for good reason too. He had to solidify his standing as king and the best way to do that was to find and marry a queen so there was always a seemingly endless stream of eligible women in the palace and yet through all their finery he turned them all down. And it was no secret to anyone that you were the reason why. The glares weighed heavy on you like a clock made out of led, and even if you were with Sehun, whether he noticed and chose to ignore it or was simply oblivious to the watching eyes their gazes still found their way deep inside of you. As the little worms of doubt and anxiety buried themselves in the lining of your stomach, arms, legs, and even through your spine and up the back of your neck you firmed your decision. As the seriousness in Sehun’s proposals grew so did the seriousness in your answers, there was no way you could marry him and become queen, he couldn't forgot marrying some rich young lady from a family of power and marry you, some lowborn commoner, it wouldn't be fair to him or the people of his country.

Fortunately the people of Oclaria are much kinder than those of the court. Lord Cha had grown to be much more of a father figure in your life over the past while. Whenever you weren't occupied, which was more often than it may seem, he took you to see the wonder of Oclaria. It was the second largest kingdom on the continent after the freezing plains of Lokya which were bathed in eternal winter that it said to have been cursed by a with centuries ago when the continent had no kingdoms, or kings, or queens. And after so many trips through the large cities with bustling markets and the quiet countryside with hills covered in flowers you had barely even seen a third of it.

----

Moonlight filtering through the stained glass windows which lined the walls and creating colourful patterns on the floor was the only thing illuminating the hallway aside from the quickly melting candle you clutched in your hand as you scurried through the hallway. You found yourself in quite similar situations for longer than you can remember at this point, nerves wriggling inside you and refusing you sleep until the early hours of the morning. Books had been the solution to quelling the pent up writhing of your emotions and you had taken refuge in Lord Cha’s private library as he too, was often a stranger to sleep due to reasons unknown. Earlier in the month you had borrowed a book titled ‘Greatest Composers of the Five Continents’ and as interesting as it was, it was incredibly long and you had finally finished it. Feeling ever so enlightened about the history of music in your great world you pushed open the door and stepped into the library. Without looking up from the diary on his lap Lord Cha offered you a wave a greeting which you quickly returned before diving into the shelves of books.

A few moments later after having successfully shelving your borrowed book and grabbing a new one you were settled in the generously stuffed armchair across from him.

“Y/n I wanted to ask you about something,” Lord Cha said as he put the cap back on his pen. He cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses before placing whatever he was writing about on the table side him. “In two days I'm heading back to the territory I'm from, Iyle. It's the largest territory in Oclaria, covering the border to Edesea and all of Oclaria’s southern coast and islands. It's been without a lord for many years since the line died out and I've been put in charge of governing it and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope you'll come with me.”

You stared at him blankly for a few moments before clearing your throat. You shifted in your seat as your mind raced, to what you didn't know, but it was flying so fast you couldn't even form a coherent sentence.

“Lord Cha, It sounds amazing- I'd really love to go- but the thing is-” you sputtered out.

“It's okay darling,” he cut you off with a chuckle as he reached over to pour you a cup of tea.

“I really would love to go-”

“I know, it's hard to decide in this moment. You have a lot to consider seeing as you've only just arrived in Oclaria and you'd be leaving the man who you loved enough to follow here for who knows how long as I don't know yet when we will return to the capital,” He smiled at you, “It's a hard decision to make and I don't expect you to make it now,” he straightened his tie and stood up, “We’re leaving at Sunset in two days time, meet us at the southern gate if you wish to come.”

With that he bid you goodnight and returned to his chambers and you returned to yours.

----

The darkness of your room didn’t seem dark. You stared at the ceiling, then rolled onto your side and looked out the window, before rolling onto your stomach and burying your face in the pillow. The soft glow of the sunrise was making your room brighter and brighter and with the light came the realization that you hadn’t slept at all the night before. You tossed and turned endlessly because of the nightmare that was your reality at this point in time. Lord Cha had invited you to go with him and you almost agreed on the spot but you hesitated. As much as you wished to escape the empty palace that seemed to be closing farther  in on you every day, trapping you within the confines of the gilded walls and luxury, you couldn’t make the call. A small nagging in your heart which you had been feverishly trying to burry over the past weeks had unearthed itself and halted you from making a decision because if you left, would you ever be able to come back?

The sun had risen when you finally pushed yourself from under the quilt and got dressed, it felt almost mechanical as you went about your daily routine.  You felt empty, why were there no tears? No frustration and indecision? Why were you nothing but a shell?

When the realization finally dawned on you it walls you had created came crashing down all at once and dread filled the pit of your stomach.

No letter came that day, nor did any gifts and you were thankful. A decision hadn’t been reached by the time you drifted into sleep in the late morning and slept the rest of the day away.

The nagging invaded your dreams and filled them with all your unanswered questions.

Should you leave Sehun alone?

Should you leave without telling him?

What if while you’re gone he gives in to the court and marries some noble lady?

Why do you care if he marries a noble woman? He’s a king after all…

Why do you care so much about him?

----

You had to make the decision today, your bag was packed and shoved under your bed but would you take it or not?

You were pacing back and forth in your room trying to decide what to do when a knock on your door interrupted you.

“You’re needed in the garden,” the guard said, “please follow me.”

Nodding you trailed behind him as he offered up no more information. The two of you snaked through the familiar halls to the garden, a path you had gotten very familiar with very quickly. Time seemed to slow as you stepped through the glass door and around the rose garden to be met with a beautiful sight. Sehun waiting for you, sun dancing on his face like rays of pure delight as a smile lit up his entire face when he spotted you. The guard who escorted you hung back as he rushed to meet you, grabbing your hand in his own and kissing your cheek lightly. Today something seemed different about him, maybe it was the changing seasons but he seemed lighter than before, like the world wasn’t resting on his shoulders anymore.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he whispered and instinctively you smiled brightly back at him.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long,” you said.

He chuckles and clutched your hand tighter, “You’re right on time, we have to go somewhere but first promise me you won’t ask any questions, okay?”

You raised an eyebrow, “Should I be worried?”

“I don’t think so,” he answered pretending to scratch his head which made you laugh, “just trust me.”

You eyed him up and down. Pretending was hard especially since his joy was so infectious, so you nodded and stuck out you pinky which he gratefully took before pulling you after him. You walked for what seemed like only seconds when his hand clutched yours like it was the only thing that mattered. Another twinge was felt in you heart as you spotted a small gazebo which is where he seemed to be headed.

He dropped your hand and stood across from you, you shivered from the loss of the warmth and comfort against your palm, “Sehun, wha-”

“You promised not to ask questions, right?” he said. There was a different tone in his voice now, something between excitement and nervousness, but why? “Just let me talk first.”

You nodded as the atmosphere suddenly changed into something more serious.

“You know I love you right?”

You nodded again.

He took a deep breath, “I know I’ve been asking you this over and over for the past few weeks, and I know you needed time to think but I think a month is enough time to make a decision. Y/n, will you marry me?”

You felt you heart shift, “Sehun…….. No.”

HIs demeanour changed. He was dripping with something you couldn’t place and towering over you even if he was only a few inches taller than you in reality.

“Y/n I’ll give you one more chance, this is the last time I’m going to ask, so what’s your answer!” he asked.

It was as if the whole world had stilled, “No.”

“WHY?!” he exclaimed, latching onto your wrists in desperation, “Tell me why you have to keep turning me down when I love you so much!?”

“No Sehun,” you cried out trying halfheartedly to wrench yourself free from his grasp, “I can’t-I can’t be a queen!”

“WHY?!”

“Because I don’t love you!”

You could see his heart shatter in that very moment as his arms fell to his sides and his eyes went blank, focusing on something in the distance.

“Sehun-”

“LEAVE!” he bellowed, “I don’t want you in my sight!”

No tears fell as he spun away from you and you could do nothing but back away in horror at what you had just done. As you sprinted back into the palace your tears fell freely even if his didn’t because in that moment when the words tumbled from your lips you knew they weren’t true. Even if you had never been sure enough before to say it out loud you always knew deep down. And as soon as you opened your mouth you knew that you did love him, possibly more than he loved you. But now you had broken him beyond repair so you pulled your bag from under your bed and raced out to where Lord Cha said he would be waiting, hoping desperately they hadn’t left yet as the sun was beginning to set.

He didn’t question the tears which were still streaming down your face bus helped you onto a horse before setting off.

When the palace walls disappeared into the darkness behind you, you also felt the last shreds of something inside you snap.

[whileiamdying]

Argentinian folk singer revered as a voice of South American political protest

Garth Cartwright Mon 5 Oct 2009 08.23 EDT

Mercedes Sosa, the celebrated Argentinian folk singer and political activist, has died aged 74. Sosa possessed a deep, alto voice and a strong sense of conviction, and had a warm, engaging personality. These qualities helped to make her one of the few Latin American musicians who could, over five decades, command a wide international audience. Described as "the voice of Latin America", she was revered as a commentator on the political and social turmoil that afflicted the region.

Born in San Miguel de Tucumán, the capital of one of Argentina's smallest provinces, to a working-class family of mixed French and Amerindian (Quechuan) ancestry, she began singing and folk dancing as a child. Aged 15, Sosa won a singing concert sponsored by a local radio station. The prize was a two-month contract to perform for the station, and this allowed her to turn professional.

Initially singing a wide variety of popular songs, Sosa gained a local reputation as a rising talent. After she married the musician Manuel Oscar Matus, the couple began looking to new developments in Latin American music. In the early 1960s, this led them to embrace the nueva canción (new song) movement, which unconsciously mirrored the US folk movement as Chile's Victor Jara and Cuba's Silvio Rodríguez reshaped Latin America's troubadour tradition to reflect the struggles under way across the South American continent.

Sosa and Matus chose nueva canción songs that suited her voice, such as Violeta Parra's Gracias a la Vida (Thanks to Life) and Horacio Guarany's Si Se Calla el Cantor (If the Singer Is Silenced), and her success helped to popularise the movement. Sosa's ability to convey a wide emotional range meant that listeners connected strongly with both songs and singer, and by the mid-1960s she was very popular in Argentina. Nicknamed "La Negra" because of her long, jet-black hair and Amerindian heritage, Sosa issued a series of albums, including Romance de la Muerte de Juan Lavalle (Ballad of the Death of Juan Lavalle) and Mujeres Argentinas (Argentinian Women), that established her as a distinctive artist. By the late 60s, she was drawing material from across the region (including Amerindian communities) and this made her a pan-Latin American star. When Sosa and Matus's marriage ended, Matus forged a respected solo career in Argentina.

In the early 70s Sosa acted in the film El Santo de la Espada (The Saint of the Sword), a biopic of the Argentinian independence hero José de San Martín. Sosa's popularity found her touring internationally, her leftist political sympathies – a 1972 album Hasta la Victoria (Until Victory) celebrated workers' struggles – making her especially welcome in the Soviet bloc. As a champion of the rights of the poor, Sosa became known as "the voice of the voiceless ones". These political leanings caused Sosa trouble when the Argentinian military, under Jorge Videla, staged a coup in March 1976. Initially, only some of Sosa's songs were censored, but as she became seen internationally as a voice of freedom, the harassment increased.

In early 1979, Sosa was performing in the Argentinian university city of La Plata when the military stopped the concert. Humiliating Sosa by searching her on stage, they then arrested her and 350 members of the audience. Sosa was detained for 18 hours until international pressure forced her release (she had to pay a large fine) but this event – alongside increasing numbers of death threats – forced her to flee to Europe, where she lived in Madrid and Paris.

Sosa found exile difficult and returned to Argentina in early 1982. The military junta remained in power, but Sosa's fame excluded her from punishment, and a series of concerts she gave at the Teatro Colón in Buenos Aires, with guest appearances from celebrated Argentinian singers, found her truly welcomed home. A live recording of these concerts was issued after the junta fell. Sosa continued to tour (performing in the UK several times) and to record, her fame growing on an international scale – she shared stages or studios with artists including Luciano Pavarotti, Sting and Shakira. In a career spanning almost six decades, she released 70 albums. She won three Latin Grammy awards and received a huge number of honorary titles including the UN Voluntary Fund for Women (Unifem) prize from the United Nations, in recognition of her defence of women's rights. She remained politically active and vocally opposed Carlos Menem when he was Argentinian president.

"I didn't choose to sing for people," Sosa said in a recent interview on Argentinian television. "Life chose me to sing." Overweight for many years, Sosa had begun suffering serious health problems. She was admitted to hospital two weeks ago suffering from liver problems. Progressive kidney failure and cardiac arrest followed.

She is survived by her son, Fabián.

• Haydée Mercedes Sosa, singer, born 9 July 1935; died 4 October 2009

[thecountydiary]

Jordan Hospital's Successful Free Urological and Prostate Cancer Screening Camp

In a commendable initiative towards community health, Jordan Hospital hosted a free urological and prostate cancer screening camp today. The event, led by renowned Surgeon Dr. Joshua Matu from Kenyatta National Hospital, aimed at providing crucial medical services to those in need. Patients suffering from prostate-related illnesses received free treatment, underscoring the hospital’s commitment…

[spainmozsombi]

Oh okay, Erasmus is actually cool!(10.21)

Last thursday was probably one of the most important days since I have been here. I had class at 1 pm, nothing extraordinary happened, it was actually pretty boring with some groupwork that we did not have enough time for...(I also should have had the magreb course in the evening but I skipped it).

In the evening there was a music session with the whatsapp group “erasmusicians”, we basically rented a rehearsal room for three hours and played some cool tunes (if somebody’s reading this who knows matus’ place it’s kinda the same, it’s just better and doesn’t smell like 40 years of smoking). It was interesting to experience how music can bring people together even if nobody plays the songs perfectly. On the other hand I really noticed the difference between this and how we used to play with my band, when everybody knows his part, when it’s all like a well oiled machine. Both are good in a different way. Ivan (local spanish guy who organizes these musical events) brought his electric guitar, an italian dude (David) brought his acoustic guitar, Celia (local spanish girl, also organizer) brought here electric piano, there was a drumkit, somebody had a bass guitar, and countless microphones. We played songs from Beatles, Nirvana, Gorillaz, Marilyn Manson, Foo Fighters, Arctic Monkeys and a bunch of more, the list goes on aand on. After this it was planned that we were gonna practice with Óscar separately (for the next Open Mic) but he had to cancel it so I went to get a beer with the rest of the group instead. We found a really cool tapas place that also had pool in the basement! We had a few drinks, played pool, I even played some Paramore songs with a spanish girl (a waiter was kind enough to turn down their music just so we could play). We had a good time and actually got kicked out at midnight cause the place was closing. I thought the night was gonna end here but no, we went to another place that’s basically a pool bar (if that’s even a thing)..We rented a table and played till about 2 am or so, it was proper fun! We played 2 vs 2, I was in a time with a british guy called Joe who’s from Birmingham, he’s a really nice guy! This italian dude talked me into helping to him with a course where he has to amplify instruments/somebody singing, so I will play him some songs (on his guitar) this thursday. I got home around 3 am...

On friday I was still so pumped cause of the previous night that I jumped right into learning some more spanish, started looking up how conjugation works, and thank God it doesn’t seem that ugly. In the evening I had the Magreb course. So, this course is twice a week (as all of them) on thursday there’s the lecture and on friday we should focus on the groupwork, the ted talk and essay that we gotta present in early november. For some reason we never really take the friday class very seriously, so we were mostly laughing about stupid sh1t. After that we went to get a beer and tapas, we (my groupmates, Adel, Óscar, Filip and his girl friend who came to visit him) went to a place called “Grifo y Tapas” (somebody recommanded this place to me, thanks for that!). Had some good times, laughs and whatnot. Filip had a really hard time learning my first name (I use Zsombor here, not many people knows about ‘Balint’ haha). After ordaring the first beer I noticed that Óscar and Adel are drinking something else, which looked much better than my beer (which I still don’t like, but fröccs is not a thing around here), Óscar gave me a sip and it was amazing, some syrup with wine. Or the other way. Wine with some syrup. Sweat! And the name of it is ‘Tinto de Verano’. It felt weird to be out for drinks two nights straight, but I think I’m starting to get the hang of this Erasmus vibe. 

//Intermezzo\\

I feel more and more that I have people to talk to, we are getting to know each other, I experienced a change in my attitude (from generally negative to generally positive). I had a traning back in May that was supposed to prepare me for the erasmus thing and there was a graph about how people’s mood go from “ohmygod im here, it’s so cool” to a huge drop when everything is bad and it goes back up again as one gets used to things and starts to enjoy the whole thing. Cause of previous experience abroad I was 110% sure that I was gonna experience the same thing. Well either I only had the first high point for only a few hours after landing or I didn’t have it at all, I just had a bad mood most of the time when I was alone, and now it feels like I rather see things much more positively.

On saturday I had to make a hard decision between going bouldering or going for a ride, eventually I got out for a ride, which turned out to be a great decision (on sunday the weather got much colder). Ride was good, I spent most of the time making short videos of me riding. This meant finding a good section, practicing it for a bit and then putting down my phone on a safe place and doing it again on camera. I didn’t ride that much but I really enjoyed looking for good angles and places to have the best shots (you can see the video on facebook, but I think whoever’s reading this blog you probably have already seen it). For lunch/dinner I improvised and fried some potato in a pan alongside with some broccoli and zucchini, shredded some cheese on the top...I know what you think..It felt way too healthy..But I ate it! (just finished the leftovers today).

On sunday in the morning I went bouldering again. On saturday I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt for riding, on sunday morning I had to put on actual pants, a hoodie and a jacket!...Bouldering was great, bought an pass for 8 sessions, felt much better than on wednesday, climed some new routes, did some exercises for core muscles, and, before I forget, I ran into Filip and his friend, so I had some company. I keep trying to make my sentences shorter but I just love these “barokkosmagyarkörmondatok”...In the evening there was another erasmusician session, but in a pub this time ( actually same place where we were on thursday), It was great, a killer guitar player named Jeremy from the US and a girl (I think also from the US) with a beautiful voice, who’s name I totally forgot, joined us. Oh yeah, and a british dude with a violin! He played the main riff of Sweet child O’ Mine, it was mindblowing...After playing together for an hour or so we split up into smaller groups, each with a different musical style. I ended up with Matteo and Elena from Italy and a german girl who’s name I also forgot..Oops. We were playing Oasis songs, it was so much fun! (Matteo likes to speed things up a bit so I really had to try to keep the tempo..) At the evening we played some pool again, with Joe, and David.

Today (monday) I had my economic course. The faculty of economics is up on Campus Cartuja, which is on the mountain, and I always walk up there. Even though the weather was also colder today (14-15 degrees?) but sunny, I still ended up sweaty buy the time I got up there...Course was about oligopolies and monopolies, not very interesting but the teacher still managed to make it a bit less boring! (Hats off!). We got lunch with Oliver after the class, at the canteen close to this faculty. See the pic (probably) above. We analyzed how inefficient the whole service is, they just use way too much manpower..In the afternoon I did some maintenance on the bike, managed to the evening I joined Oliver on his run. I wasn’t running, no need to worry, I still hate it, I was riding my bike. He’s prepping for a half marathon this weekend and a full marathon in early december...He’s a fanatic let me tell you that...

That’s all folks!

[deaftomywords-blog]

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[takatukatak-blog]

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[deletethislater86-blog]

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[fatsuga]

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