#matthew's 'helping' him grade papers (read: being a bother)

[vullcanica]

@s4ints : ❛ vehicular arson is not the answer. ❜ / hob for matthew

"If you don't wanna get busted it is." Matthew intones from Hob's left shouder, peering down to watch him pick up the red pen again and annotate a paragraph. Well shucks. He'd liked that one. "You know, it used to work for those sicilian guys back in the day. Ever watched The Godfather?"

It isn't often that he gets time away from the Dreaming as of late. Dream's a hardass, rigid kind of boss who he can effortlessly convey the sentiment of immeasurable disappointment with a single look or word, so Matthew tries not to shirk his duties too much. And if he does, he makes sure its within vicinity of Mervyn who attracts Dream's displeasure like a magnet. Lately, though, he's made a habit of visiting Hob. He's a good, calm man, the Inn is a nice place for people watching and in the evenings Matthew can settle down on the counter, in the nest of an old scarf, and help him grade university papers. It feels like a morsel of his old life, but better, more mundane and less wrought with misfortunes. Besides, Dream isn't nearly as sullen whenever he comes to fetch him from Hob's doorstep.

Matthew watches him underline another paragraph in red. "Aw c'mon Hob, give the kid an A. It's got flair!"

[matthewbeilschmidts]

It’s been a long while since I’ve posted but I’m so glad that I am :’)

This is for Day 1: of @prucanweek - Ordinary

Apologies for spelling errors, it’s a little short but I hope you enjoy 😭💞

-

Matthew doesn’t mind that he’s living an ordinary life. Really.

He grows up near the coast, two parents, a fraternal twin brother, and their gangly hairless cat, Tony (picked curtesy of Alfred). Their parents take them everywhere they can during their childhood, the beach, museums, sports game. They focus on their interests, figuring out what the two like and dislike, as they encourage them both to be themselves and do what they love no matter what. Alfred debates between whether he likes wrestling or football more, while Matthew settles into hockey. In between family get togethers, community festivals, and endless sports training, they somehow have time for homework. (The two share answers a lot.)

He and Alfred each have their own rooms when they enter their teen years, a space to decorate and fill with their own mementos and awards. The sports continue, but later their parents find themselves a little bit busier than before. They do though, give them as much time as they can during the school year, never wanting them to go without someone by their side.

Matthew fades into the background a little bit as they get older, while Alfred puts himself front and center. Matthew watches once with a hand over his eyes as Alfred auditions for the school musical, and surprisingly he read and sings the lines well. “It’s always the rowdy ones!” their theater teachers says after he’s finished performing, a mix of anticipation from planning on putting Alfred on stage and dread at the thought of having to manage him.

Matthew silently supports him, after all he has his own things to do.

He’s the co-caption of the hockey team, the coach giving him the position to give him a little more of a voice, and his teammates verbally agree, considering on the ice Matthew has a lot more to show than he does in person. He accepts, albeit hesitantly.

By the time graduation comes by, Matthew can barely believe how the time has passed. His team even wins a championship under his watch. Some of his fellow classmates look so ready to go out and experience the world, and it’s scary to him because weren’t they all going at the same pace?

His parents talk him through picking his college of choice, and he decides to go. He needs to do what everyone does and experience the world.

And if he decides he wants to come home, that’s okay because at least he tries.

-

He’s in his first art class during his third year at university. The time has been going well, he’s got pretty decent grades and has managed to join a few clubs. But he’s not done yet. Extra curriculars, can’t finish without them. He prioritizes his general education first, and even slips himself into a few major classes early on, but humanities is on record now and has to be completed no matter what one’s studying.

He can get through one semester, he hopes.

Next to him, a student is snickering and the professor doesn’t look amused.

“Gilbert.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“If you’re done, I can introduce myself now.”

The professor goes in with complete, in-depth introductory slides with her name and credentials, and a briefing of all they will overcome this semester.

He’s never been an artist, at least not one that picks up a pencil and creates a realistic masterpiece with nothing but that and a pad of paper. Maybe some poetry contests in high school, if that counts. The written word has its own impact, its own set of colors to breathe out for the world to see.

There’s another snicker, interrupting his internal monologue.

He doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t know the student, and it’s not his place to control others. But, if it starts to hinder the class, maybe he’ll tell him something. He’s paying to be there, too.

The man catches him staring.

“Yes?” he asks Matthew without being spoken to in the first place.

“Oh,” Matthew flushes at being caught, not that he was trying to hide it anyway. “Well, she didn’t say anything funny?”

The guys waves a hand, making a “psssh” noise as he does.

“I’m just laughing because of how formal this all is. She won’t be this dignified later in the semester that’s for sure. She’ll be ripping her hair out.”

Matthew glances back, he doesn’t want to say anyone looks mean but, he would believe it if she was.

“You look scared,” the guy laughs, which is rude because isn’t he the one that just put the thought in Matthew’s mind? “She’s not too mean just a sticker to the rules. Will get real pissy if something doesn’t go right.”

“And you still set her off knowing that?”

The man laughs again, but this time around he’s actually trying to contain it behind the thin art easel. He’s not very hidden.

“She’s my cousin’s wife.”

Ah, that makes sense then? Messing with family is normal, but also he shouldn’t be bothering her at work.

“It’s no wonder you seemed casual.”

“She taught both of the lower division figure drawing classes, too. This is my third semester in her class. She’s the only one teaching this specific class I didn’t have too much of a choice.”

“Art major?”

“Yep! And you?”

“Psychology major. I have to get in some cultural classes.”

“Ever taken art?”

“Actually no, not even in high school. I got through that stuff by working backstage in the theater department.”

“Well not to worry my friend, because you picked the best one.”

“Is it easy to pass?”

“Nope. Well, maybe if she likes your work,” Matthew deflates at the blunt response, “but don’t worry because I’m here to be your guide.”

Matthew perks up, but it takes him a moment. This guy’s gonna help him?

“Are you any good?”

“Am I good?” He looks perplexed Matthew would even ask. Matthew has to cover his own amusement. “I may not look it but charcoal and I go way back. I’ll show you my work later as proof.”

“Deal.”

“Gilbert, since you’re adamant on talking, you can be the first to introduce yourself.”

Even if his name wasn’t said, Matthew feels just as guilty. Caught, for talking on the first day of all things.

“Gilbert Beilshcmidt. Fourth year. I’m an art major and my favorite breakfast food is pancakes.”

Matthew looks surprised that he was paying attention, even to the last addition of their introduction. Matthew’s not sure he would have known considering he was distracted.

-

And so their friendship starts.

-

Gilbert sits next to him again. And again.

Where ever Matthew sits in the art room, Gilbert follows not too long after.

Some days they take the sitting desks, some they stand and lean against the stools.

And despite not even talking much, Gilbert treats him like a friend.

-

“Do you have any plans this afternoon?”

“Nope, this was my last class.”

“Do you want to get some coffee and work on our sketch books.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

-

Matthew finds himself meeting Gilbert in his downtime. Every Thursday after drawing for three hours becomes the day they meet. At first, all they do is draw, little more.

Gilbert is animated in all moments, but he has short spurts where he focuses exceptionally on his work. Matthew is no art critic, but he thinks Gilbert expresses himself quite well on paper. Graphite, charcoal, and pastels, all the utensils glide easily without a single stroke missing its mark.

Watercolor though, could use some work, which actually happens to be Matthew’s favorite. Even if the intention is to guide the colors with a brush, it’s okay for them to take a life of their own spreading across the thick paper.

They share snacks, art supplies, and their time.

Gilbert proves himself very useful as he promised. Matthew though never planning to be the next Van Gogh, has to pass this class. And it would be nice to pass it with flying colors, but some concepts are harder to grasp than others.

It’s obvious to tell he’s a beginner, while Gilbert excels. Matthew finds out he only now needs the intro class since it’s the first semester it became a requirement.

Gilbert helps him find the shapes he’s comfortable with, explains the processing for hatching and how it relates to shading. And while he’s no expert, he sees a subtle improvement over the next few weeks that makes some pride swell within himself.

-

“Do you want to come with me and my friends to this cool bar for dinner on Friday?” Gilbert asks about a month into the semester.

It’s the first time Gilbert and him will have spent time off campus.

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

-

Gilbert’s friends are just as animated as he, it’s almost hard to keep up. Overwhelming as they are, they’re extremely welcoming. Matthew eases into the atmosphere, joining in when he can but mostly pleased to be out and doing something different.

He’s made friends during his time, but like him they’re a little more reserved and pick quieter places on the town.

It’s fun. And he wants to go out again.

Matthew invites Gilbert and his friends to watch his next hockey game.

After their shock in finding out he plays such a violent sport, they’re all agreeing and planning to find the best seats in the arena.

-

“Are you serious. Are you hiding muscles under that red sweater?”

Gilbert pokes at him, it tickles when he gets closer to his biceps, but he knows he’s only teasing.

“You think I’m playing but I’m serious! You should have been there, well you were there. On the stands, I mean. We all screamed after you sent that player flying against the wall.”

Gilbert recreates the motions, but only slams himself into the wall and whines after he bounces back. He then plays it off like it doesn’t hurt. Gilbert’s not a very good actor.

People tell him it’s so much different watching him on the ice, but it’s still him. He’s always wondered how much different, he feels like himself. He just knows he goes into the zone when he’s in his gear. He just wants to win. And he will.

“It’s like night day,” Gilbert continues. “You were ready to kill a man down there.”

“You’re not the first to say that. I guess maybe, I could be a little more out there in real life, huh?”

Gilbert stops walking.

“Nope.”

“Nope?”

“You’re perfectly fine the way you are. I like the way you are, so don’t go change. I don’t want to be at risk of dying during art class.”

And as silly as it sounds, he’s pleased. He likes Gilbert a whole lot, too. Just the way he is.

-

“Do you want to have dinner with me?” Matthew takes the initiative.

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, just you and me. I want to take you out.”

“Like you did to that guy on the court,” Gilbert laughs nervously.

“On a date. Gilbert, would you like go out with me?”

He says yes.

Later that evening when he’s heading home, Gilbert starts running through the courtyard cheering that “I have a date with the cutest guy I’ve ever met!”

Matthew’s window is open, he’s face is bright red and he slams head first into his pillow. He needs to plan the best first date ever.

-

Three months into dating, he’s finally heading home again for a school break. He wants to take Gilbert with him, who is waiting for the next major holiday to go back home. But isn’t it too soon? They haven’t been dating that long, after all.

But Gilbert surprises him, and jokingly says he wants to go with him because he’ll miss him too much while he’s gone. And then, Matthew asks if he seriously wants to go.

“I do.”

So they ride the 3 hours train down to Matthew’s childhood home. He’s a little bit nervous, because he’s had dates to school dances, and brought friends over, but this is entirely different. This is someone he wants to take a serious step with, even if the time hasn’t been that long. They’ll never get anywhere if they don’t, so they’ll both take the leap and pray it works out.

“Mom, dad, Alfred, this is Gilbert.”

It’s the most timid Matthew’s ever seen him.

“Nice to meet ya, I’m Matthew’s boyfriend.”

After he shakes all their hands, he takes his hand back to link pinkies with Matthew.

There’s not an once of regret in his mind as the long weekend passes.

-

Gilbert graduates the next year, and the year after it’s his turn. They’re going to move in with each other. Gilbert really has no irresistible urge to go back to his home town, satisfied with just visiting a few times a year. And Matthew thinks he would like to go back closer, just to figure out his next move. So, they go together.

It’s only a one bedroom, but is more than enough space for them both. Gilbert finds work as a docent while Matthew works for a second degree in education.

He still plays hockey for a local league, Gilbert becoming their number one fan. They find their own rhythm, a pace that works for them both, where they can settle down or speed up when they agree with each other. Dewey mornings, warm summers, chilly evenings they spend them altogether.

They decide move up North closer to Gilbert’s hometown. Matthew’s more nervous meeting his grandparents than he was introducing Gilbert to his own family, but Gilbert assures him again and again they’re just a stuffy old family who actually really care about each other a lot more than they let off.

Gilbert’s grandfather towers over him, despite being a hair above 6 feet. He’s silent, eyes boring into Matthew as he introduces himself. And to end all of Matthew’s worries, the elder man pulls Matthew into a hug and tells him he’s glad him and Gilbert are home. Gilbert, just as perplexed as he, stares, but he melts into a pleased laugh.

Yeah, this is his and Gilbert’s home now.

-

They stay, for a long while, contemplate moving a few times, but they’re satisfied for now.

Gilbert and him always make time for each other, continue their own respective interests with complete support of the other. They’re never afraid to complain, because they always work through it rather then let it simmer.

Gilbert’s vivacious spirit keep them going, and Matthew’s heart keeps them grounded.

His life at first seem a little bit ordinary, but how can he complain when the pieces of the puzzle fit themselves in and stayed locked in tight.

[shesclearlya3]

Class Fight (p.1)

pairing: teen!dandy mott x teen!reader

word count: 3,303

warnings: language, jealous dandy, slightly au!dandy, all characters are 18

part 2 part 3

1.

It was the first semester of your Senior year. The first month of school had flown by, and the Fall dance was just a few weeks away. Your small group of girlfriends was anxiously awaiting for their crushes to ask them.

You weren’t particularly concerned with this. The dance fell on the one Saturday of the month where you had to accompany your mother to some stupid Tupperware party. It was the newest trend in American dining, and your mother needed you as her plus one. It wouldn’t hurt to miss one dance… right?

Your best friends Winter and Zoe were excited, but they were devastated you couldn’t come. You always went with them as a trio.

“Are you sure you couldn’t cancel?” Winter asked while you washed your hands in the bathroom sink. The school day was over, and you planned on accompanying her to the diner for greasy food and to catch up on homework.

“I already promised her weeks ago,” you said, drying your hands. “There’s still prom?”

Winter nodded in understanding, and you both knew it was the end of that discussion. Zoe came out of the stall, her face flushed and hair tied back. She looked clammy.

“You alright in there?” Winter asked her as Zoe took a disposable cup and drank some water.

“Kyle asked me to the dance!” Zoe replied breathlessly. You and Winter both congratulated her, and Winter asked why she looked so sick.

“I just got overwhelmed, you know? He came up and asked me right as I put my books away. I didn’t think he was going too, he never brought it up before-.”

You followed them out as Zoe recanted the story of how Kyle asked her. The halls were mostly cleared now as kids scrambled to leave as soon as possible.

“You’re riding with us, right?” Zoe then asked you, raising a neat eyebrow at you.

“Yes, Dandy probably left already.”

The girls both smirked to themselves, but you ignored it. You were used to it by now.

The thing was, Dandy Mott was the best looking guy in school, in your opinion. You had never attended a public school in your life, but you knew those boys could never compare. Dandy was from the wealthiest family in your private district, and with his looks, girls were all over him.

However, he was quite the character. 

Dandy didn’t necessarily associate with a particular group of kids. He was reticent and didn’t bother with any clubs, but he was quite attuned to the drama program. He was also known for his temper if things didn’t go his way, but age matured him, mostly. You were one of the few people who he actually gave a damn about in life. You attributed that to knowing him before school. Your grandfather was a business partner with the Mott family, where your family name found their wealth, and how you two were friends.

You weren’t bothered by the unwanted attention you got from girls attempting to weasel their way into your circle for the chance to talk to Dandy. Most of them gave up quickly, and that was that. Plus, you had Winter and Zoe as your protectors. They weren’t afraid to kick a bitch in the vagina if they overstepped the clear boundaries you had set for yourself. Dandy trusted you, and you weren’t about to fuck that up.

Plus, his mother, Gloria, was continually trying to set him up with girls in other parts of town. 

You climbed into Zoe’s new car, buckling your seatbelt and glancing across the almost deserted parking lot. You spotted him instantly, sitting in his car and staring right back. You slowly raised your hand, giving him a wave. Dandy slowly reciprocated the action, and you swore you saw him smile.

You spent the evening with the girls, eating dinner and trying to explain the symbolism in the required reading in English. The football team had finished their practice and were crowding what few booths and tables were left. You tried to block out their raucous laughter, loudly asking Zoe to read your theory to see if it were plausible. 

Winter had noticed the Quarterback, Jason, occasionally staring at you as he chewed his burger. Your back was to him, so you had no idea. She didn’t say anything, instead watching him from the corner of her eye, figuring he wouldn’t approach your table. 

“I just think it only makes sense to me,” you told Zoe, scratching your head. “I can’t concentrate with the boys screaming for no reason.”

“I think it makes perfect sense. You did misspell authority, though…”

You laughed to yourself, glancing around the diner as Zoe fixed your spelling. You were so distracted, you misspelled simple words. 

“We should get ready and go, it’s getting stuffy in here…” Winter commented, closing her English book. 

“Just a moment!” Zoe said excitedly, scribbling down in her own notebook now.

You had started gathering your things when both Zoe and Madison looked behind you, looking a mix of concern and amusement. You glanced behind you to see Jason Dean, smiling down at you. His dark hair covered his eyes, and he pushed it back.

You had no idea what to say. The last conversation you had with Jason was probably in fifth grade when he commented that women were weak while helping you carry boxes of school supplies, and you accidentally dropped a massive box of markers on his foot. He cried for an hour. 

“y/n,” he addressed you. You glanced at your friends who were eagerly watching you with their faces hidden behind their textbooks. Winter’s was upside down.

“Hi, Jason,” you responded, hearing the confusion in your voice. You listened to his friends giggling behind you, and you wondered if this was a joke. 

“I haven’t seen you in a minute,” he said cheekily, and you nodded. “You look good.”

You quickly looked him up and down. Jason was muscular but not bulky, and he was definitely a whole foot taller than you. He grew into his facial features, and he was a handsome guy. You assumed he was just talking to you on a dare, so you finished putting your things in your bag. Zoe and Winter didn’t budge, still pretending to read their books.

Jason realized you were dumbfounded at his statement. He quickly backtracked, “I just wanted to say hi. I’ll see you around.”

You bid him farewell, turning to your friends who were having a hard time concealing their laughter. You heard Jason’s best friend, Matthew, call him an idiot and what sounded like a smack on the back.

“y/n, you have a boyfriend?” Zoe asked, smirking at you.

You glared, standing up as they shouldered their bags and grabbed their books. “You know perfectly well I don’t speak to him.”

“I bet he wants to ask you to the dance.” Winter grinned at Zoe, who nodded in agreement as you stepped into the cold autumn air. 

“I’m not going either way.” you mumbled, and the girls dropped it until the next morning. 

2.

You didn’t think it was that big of a deal that the Quarterback tried to talk to you at the diner a few nights before. All the students who were present spread gossip like wildfire. You ignored it. You knew they were just children speculating what it could mean when it probably meant nothing. 

Zoe and Winter never brought it up again, and you were relieved that your friends didn’t dwell on it for too long. You loved that about them. 

It was after lunchtime when you sat in your History course, going over the notes for the test. You heard Jason and a few of his friends pile in, laughing and making comments under their breath. They took their designated seats in the back, and you felt eyes on the back of your head. 

A group of popular girls across the room started to giggle, and you glanced up to see Dandy walk in, his nose up and sauntering to the seat directly behind you. You wondered why he didn’t acknowledge you, but you didn’t dwell on it long. Dandy was often absent from any social interaction. 

Your teacher began the class the moment the bell rang. She decided to go over the notes an extra day and postponed the test. You were mildly disappointed but knew the material well, so you decided to doodle in your journal. One of the girls in the front occasionally popped her gum. 

Ms. Strode was talking about World War II when you felt something hit your elbow. You glanced over and saw a balled-up piece of paper. You glanced around to see most people were either frantically jotting down notes or not paying any attention. You picked it up, assuming it just needed to be passed ahead.

However, you read your name in neat cursive and opened it under the table.

Would you go to the dance with me? - Jason

You read the short invitation a good ten or so times before you could comprehend what he was asking. While the teacher wasn’t looking, you peeked over your shoulder to see him staring at you. His buddies were hiding their own smiles, but you didn’t see any malice behind it. Was he serious?

Of course, you’d have to decline. You already have an engagement. You promised your mother. You already declined the evening with your two best friends.

You didn’t send a note back, knowing it would be too distracting trying to pass it. Dandy would never try to give a stupid message.

However, Dandy had been paying attention and had managed to read the note over your shoulder when you laid it on your pencil case. He became green with envy, closing the book he hadn’t been paying attention too in the first place.

You hardly spoke a word to him this year. He wondered why that was. Dandy was very particular who he said too, and gave any sliver of his precious time. You were a comfort to him and probably didn’t realize that. Dandy knew he couldn’t seem desperate for your affection, or at the very least, your attention. He had hoped you’d be waiting for him in his car after school like the previous years before. Did he do something to upset you? Were you too good for him?

Dandy spent the rest of the class staring at the back of your head. He knew that wasn’t the case. Perhaps it was his behavior that steered you away. Of course, he liked being friends with you, but maybe it wasn’t enough. He was a loner who enjoyed his alone time. Dandy heard what people said about him. The general consensus was that he was doing everything right. 

When the class was dismissed, he hung back, watching as you quickly gathered your things and paced out the door. 

“Tough blow, man!” he heard Matthew say.

“She’ll come around.” Jason replied, his tone snarky. Dandy watched as they walked out of the room, his brows furrowing as he debated on taking the high road and asking you to the stupid dance himself. He wouldn’t go willingly. His mother, Gloria, needed him to be involved as much as possible. To keep up appearances, of course. Not for Dandy’s own goodwill. 

Dandy trailed out of the class, seeing you across the hall at your locker. Winter was beside you, somehow talking and applying lipstick at the same time. He stood off to the side, not minding all the bodies bumping into him and temporarily panicking that he’d yell at them.

This is it, Dandy thought. It’s a war, whether Jason Dean knew that or not. 

3.

Jason approached you the following day and asked if you’d mind talking to him at lunch. You hesitantly agreed, catching Zoe’s eye as she hugged Kyle before going into her class. She smiled at you, and you gave her a hesitant one in return. 

He definitely matured through the years. Jason was interested in you, and you felt comfortable talking to him through the entire lunch period, even catching yourself laughing at his sense of humor. Dandy played with the apple in his hands, glaring daggers at the back of Jason’s messy head. Winter noticed from her spot at your usual table and nudged Zoe, gesturing for her to look. 

“He looks pissed.” Zoe giggled, and Winter nodded in agreement. 

“I think Mott is going to kill him!” Winter said, stabbing at her steamed broccoli.

“Shouldn’t we let y/n know?” Zoe asked.

“I think she’s about to figure it out.” Winter said as Dandy stood up, heading directly to the table where you were sitting with Jason. Zoe and Winter fell into a hush, shoving food into their mouth and intently watching what was about to unfold. 

Jason saw him approaching first and paused, sizing the other guy up and down. Jason was bigger than Dandy in height and muscle tone from being an athlete, but Dandy wasn’t lanky either. You turned around, shocked to find Dandy staring down at you. 

“y/n,” Dandy nodded at you, ignoring Jason.

“Dandy, hi!” you said, genuinely happy to see him. “How are you?”

“I’m decent.” he said, smiling a little. “Could I have a word?” 

You glanced at Jason, who seemed timid, but he nodded. You stood up, promising Jason you’d be back as you followed Dandy out to the hallway. Multiple eyes followed you, and you heard the whispers starting as the door swung shut. 

“How are you?” Dandy asked now, looking down at you. His dark hair was neatly gelled and had a slight curl. 

“I’ve been good. I haven’t heard from you in a while…” you said.

Dandy nodded, “I could say the same. I assumed you’d come back around soon enough.”

You felt he was hurt by your absence. Dandy looked bothered, and you felt terrible. However, he was capable of approaching you as well. Which is what he thought he had to do. 

“Is everything okay?” you questioned, hoping his mother was doing well. You hadn’t seen her all Summer. 

“y/n, you know you’re one of the only people I care about in this stupid town,” Dandy said, glancing towards a teacher walking to the lounge. He gave you guys a questioning look but didn’t comment, disappearing into the next room. 

You weren’t sure how to respond to that, so Dandy continued, “Which is why I think you shouldn’t go to the formal with Jason.”

You frowned, “How do you know he asked me?”

“The whole school knows!” Dandy retorted, and you remembered. “I think it’s a bad idea.”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m not going either way.”

Dandy looked surprised, and you saw the relief in his eyes. He laughed a little, his fingers drumming against his leg. “Oh.”

“What, are you jealous?” you asked, laughing at him. Dandy tried to hide his laughter, but it didn’t work. The quiet hallway was filled with your giggles.

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out.” Dandy said, and you were saddened to hear the bell ring. Dandy straightened up, the smile leaving his face as kids filed out of the cafeteria and the surrounding classrooms. Kids stared at you and whispered, many laughing and wondering if you were now a couple. 

Jason slowly walked in your direction, but you didn’t want to say goodbye to Dandy. You were ashamed that you had avoided him for so long. You missed him. Dandy glanced behind you, his eyes sharpening as your new suitor waited patiently, his hands in his beige jacket. 

“Be careful around him.” Dandy whispered to you before he disappeared down the hall.

You approached Jason, who gave you a soft smile, “Am I missing something? Are you two together?”

You shook your head, a light smile on your lips, “No. We’re just friends.”

“Oh…” Jason nodded, “Look, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry if I freaked you out the other day. We don’t have to go to the dance together, but-.”

“Oh!” you gasped. Jason frowned, giving you a quizzical look. “The dance… I forgot,” you lied. “Uhm, I’m actually not going. I have other plans…” you said.

Jason looked defeated but took the rejection gracefully. You promised you’d sit with him again tomorrow, and he visibly cheered up at that. You ended up having to sprint to your locker for your books after saying goodbye, but you couldn’t stop thinking about Dandy’s warning. 

“Be careful around him.”

The Friday before the dance went to complete shit.

That morning you ate your breakfast slowly, listening to your parents argue in the kitchen over a business deal your mother thought was a bad idea. Your father was greedy and looked towards the top dollar than what was best for the business and the family. 

If that wasn’t bad enough, Winter fell sick and couldn’t go to school. You had to wait for your father to finish getting ready before he could drive you. You were ten minutes late and got a verbal warning; you never got in trouble at school. You had three tests in a row, and by lunch, you were about to rip your hair out.

Jason was nowhere to be found, so you sat with Zoe. She was worried that Winter would miss the dance but was happy that she’d at least have Kyle if Winter canceled. Kyle came and sat with you guys, his shaggy blond hair wet from the downpour outside. 

You were anxiously looking around the cafeteria for any sign of Dandy. He had missed a few days of school, citing a fever when you called his house and spoke to his maid, Dora. You wished him well and knew he’d pull through fast. Plus, you saw his car this morning when you got dropped off. 

“They’re going to cancel the dance if more kids fall ill,” Kyle said as he ate a burger. Zoe glared at him, telling him to look on the bright side of things. 

“What? I am!” Kyle replied, smirking at his new girlfriend.

“I’m sure they won’t cancel.” you placated Zoe, who beamed at you. “All the parents who gave money will be pissed.”

You ate most of your lunch when the principal walked in. The room immediately quieted as he observed the tables before landing on you. He walked to you briskly, and you felt your heart racing as he approached. 

Am I getting detention? I’ve only been late once!

“Ms. y/l/n, could you come with me?” he asked politely, smiling at you, Zoe, and Kyle.

You nodded slowly, bunching up your trash and placing it on the tray. Zoe told you to leave it, and they’d take care of it. You quietly thanked her and followed Principal Harmon out, struggling to keep pace with his long, thin legs.

“Is everything alright, sir?” you asked. Now wondering if your parents died in some fiery crash or if you failed a class. 

“There’s been a disturbance outside this afternoon,” Harmon replied, his voice grim. “With Mr. Mott and Mr. Dean.”

You were shocked to hear this. You were silent during the rest of the trek to his office. When he opened the door, you saw both boys sitting in chairs. They both had packs of ice on their faces and sheepish expressions.

“What were you thinking?” you hissed to them as Mr. Harmon gestured for you to take the empty seat next to Dandy.

“Well, now that y/n is here, I think you both owe her an explanation and an apology.” 

Jason and Dandy shared a look. Dandy now looked pissed, and you could only imagine what lead to this. 

Oh, I have a pretty good fucking idea.

[see-jess-write]

Parent-Teacher Night

Tagging: Matthew Davidson & Mercedes Jones ( @indiemercedesjones ) When: August 7, 2019 Where: Lewiston Middle School Notes: Matt’s late to his meeting to talk to James’ 1st grade teacher.

Mercy

Mercedes made her way up the three rows of chairs, placing the name plates down. She had just finished doing most of the meet and greets. She had one last meeting but they seemed to be running late.  Walking to her desk she knocked down a stack of papers and bent down to pick it up.  Someone knocked on the door. "Come in." She said grabbing the last of the papers before standing fully.

.Matt

Matt thought he’d get out of the station right at 6 but a call that came in at 5 kept in longer than expected and he rushed to the school to get to the whole teacher parent thing set up with James’ first grade teacher. Matt couldn’t get over his son being in first grade and as he hurriedly walked down the hall he felt a giant in there. Matt found the class and went in right when he was greeted by the backside of who he assumed was the teacher. “Hey. Are you Ms. Jones?” He asked as he stood and tried not to find this entertaining.

Mercy 

Mercedes nodded moving over to the taller man and extended her hand. "Hi yes I am Mercedes Jones. And you must be Mr. Davidson?" she said taking in his appearance. He was taller than her 5'3 height so it was an adjustment looking up to him when she usually looked down tot he kids. "Nice to meet you. Please have a seat."

Matt

“So...?” He asked asked after their handshake. “Do you prefer Mercedes Jones or am I supposed to call you Ms. Jones? Though I’ve got to admit it makes me want to sing that song.” He delivered this with one of his signature, dimpled smiles. Matt went to a chair and sat, feeling huge in the seat. “Sorry I’m late. Had a fire to put out. Literally.” He settled and leaned forward on this forearms. “Am I the last parent of the night?” 

Mercy 

"Mercedes is fine, and no thank you no need to sing." His smile wasn' lost on her.  "Its okay I was told you would be late. And yes you are. This is just to go over any questions you may have, any needs James might have. So you are a fire fighter?"

Matt

“You sure? I can’t sing with a damn but I do put on one hell of a show.” The thing with Matt was he felt right at home talking to people, even those he just met. “And, I don’t really know what to ask. I did read what you gave out on Monday and it felt pretty straight forward. He seems happy with things so far and likes the kids in his class.” Matt shared and nodded with a smile. “Yeah. Been slinging the ol’ hose for about nine years now.”

Mercy 

She looked at him and nodded. "Yeah I am sure. " She said picking up her folder for James. "Yeah well I like to be straight forwards. James is a very bright and fun child. I do see where he gets his sense of humor from though." She nodded. "Well you should come back for career day, I am sure the kids would love to get a look at you in your uniform." She placed her glasses on and smiled. "So I moved James to the Blue reading group. Which is good, he is very advanced for 6 years old, you should be proud."

Matt

What was with this woman? It was like talking to a brick wall that was all business and no joining along. Maybe with the fact she was around kids all day that it must’ve stifled her fun side...”I am proud of him. He’s a good kid and he’s taken over reading stories some time back. He prefers to read them to me but lets me join in whenever he gets too tired but doesn’t want it to end just yet.” Matt thought about the career day and it actually had him grinning. “Do you know when that career days happening? I want to make sure I give notice for it. Maybe see if I can get the guys and the truck over here.”

Mercy 

Mercedes nodded. "I can tell. He enjoys music class as well. I know its just the first week but I can pretty much tell when a kid really enjoys learning." She saw him light up and smiled. "Usually its in September. I can give you the date before you leave. We also have the camping trip you might want to participate in. Its just an overnight at the camp grounds but the kids really loved it last year."

Matt

“Has he tried to teach the other kids classic rock songs? I play a lot of that around the house. And awesome. That’s enough time to get the word out.” Matt then realized he had a question. “Have the kids shared what they’ve done for summer? We moved back from Amsterdam and I have pictures he can use to show our time there.” They spent a year and a half there and as much as he enjoyed it, this was home. “Camping, eh? Now that I can get behind.”

Mercy 

Mercedes smiled. "Yes, good to know he gets it honestly." She shook her head. "That is next weeks assignment. Pictures are always good. It allows the kids to feel like they were actually there.  Though Amsterdam is a very unique place to go too." She handed him the flyer for camp. "I give you enough time so you can take off. "

Matt

“I’ll get the pictures printed by then and let him have fun with picking out which ones he wants to share with the class. His mom moved to Amsterdam a couple years ago and he wanted to be close to her. Not that it did any good because she still hardly saw him.” Too much information? Doesn’t matter, he was still pissed about it. “Thanks, Mercy.” He read over the flyer and knew exactly where this place was. “I went to this camp when I was in 6th grade. I didn’t know it’s still around.”

Mercy 

Mercedes nodded and frowned as Matt spoke. "I am so sorry Mr. Davidson. I cant understand parents who dont wanna be around their kids. If I were a mom, nothing in the world would keep me from them." She didnt mean to speak up like that, but absent parents bugged her. "Mercy?" She raised an eyebrow then nodded. "Yeah the kids love it. And it's a great way for parents to bond with their kids."

Matt

He sighed and leaned back on the chair, stretching his leg out some. Damn that felt good, even when this chair felt ready to break under him. “Did I call you that?” He didn’t even realize it and chuckled. “I’ve got a thing of changing people’s names. Shortening them. Guess I did it without thinking.” He rolled his head to the side and looked more at her than he did before. Kind of checking her out but in a subtle way. “How long you’ve been doing this anyway? Can’t be more than a few years. I’d guess this is your first but you seem pretty on top of the show here.”

Mercy 

"You did, it's a first I mostly get Cedes." She closed her file, he seemed like he was tired and could use a break he did just come from a fire. "I've been teaching for five years, but I moved here last year. New change and all. And I mean I like to stay busy, it's just me and Chewy so I have more time than some of the other teachers." She stood. "I know you are tired and want to get home to James, so we can cut this short. If you have any questions here." She handed him a paper. "My email and phone number are there. And if I am called or emailed at night I try to answer by the next morning."

Matt

“Cedes, huh? I can see that but Mercy reminds me of Uncle Jesse and I can see myself going that route and possibly annoying with you with that line at some point in the future.” Was he hitting on her? Well.....she is pretty hot and Matt didn’t notice any ring on her finger. “I’m assuming Chewy is a dog or cat and that you’re not actually shacking up with a Wookie. But hey, I’m not one to judge.” His hands went up after he said this and chuckled, acting a damn idiot but still amused by his antics. “Yeah. I should get going. J likes to recap his day while we make dinner together. Thanks for the call. If I do reach out it’ll probably be more by text. It’s easier for me.” He got to his feet and felt wobbly and off balance for a second from being down so long. “Thanks for sticking around to talk.”

Mercy 

"Mercedes shook her head. "Uncle Jesse is still hot so I don't mind being called that." She wanted to keep things professional but the image of her dating Chewbacca was too funny.  "Chewy is my dog, he's my baby. And don't hate on Wookie love, I heard they give the best cuddles. And text is fine, I don't mind." She stood and when she saw him wobble she went to him holding his shoulders. "You okay?" She looked up to him. "Are you sure the fire didn't mess you up? Do you need to go to the doctors?"

Matt

Matt wanted to get into everything she just said but the reaction she gave, getting on her feet and everything, caused all his focus to land on that instead. “I’m good. That chair wasn’t exactly Matt sized and I hadn’t been down off my feet like that in awhile. But no, no need to rush me to the doctors.” He assured her. “Just seeing you react like that tells me J is in good hands while he’s in your class.”

Mercy 

Mercedes nodded. "Yeah, sorry about that. They chairs are pretty much kid friendly and not adult friend, if that makes sense." She smiled, letting him go. "I promise your son will be in great hands! Don't worry.  And you are free to come help out anytime you want."

Matt

“You just want me to come babysit the kids while you watch Star Wars.” He said as he laughed. “And I’m still not sure about this Wookie love, but whatever floats your boat there, Mercy.” Matt didn’t bother changing it back to Mercedes. Why should he? “Okay. I think I’ve taken up enough of time tonight. And that’s only because I can hear the floor waxer machine whirring down the hallway.”

Mercy 

"Excuse you I will have you know that the kids can watch themselves, I am just a glorified babysitter myself. And don't hate the wookie love boo!" she said with a smile. Looking out the door she nodded. "Yeah he hates it when I stay late. But yeah enjoy your night and say hi to James for me."

Matt

“Then you should put a cardboard cutout of you at the desk and hang out under the actual desk like George Castanza did on Seinfeld.  They’ll never know until one of them comes and asks a question. Then they’ll think you’re ignoring them and that’ll create years worth of therapy for that kid.” His damn imagination got ahead of him and he knew it was past time to leave. “Don’t tell me you’re the last one in here? I can at least walk you to your car since you stayed late waiting for my ass.”

Mercy 

"Lord I do not want to traumatize the kids." she packed u her bag and slipped it on her shoulder. "Its nothing new I am always late around here." She smiled at him. "Well if you are gonna try and be a gentleman the least I can do is let you."

Matt

“If I was trying to be one I’d have a suit and top hat. Fancy the shit out of it and look like someone straight out of a Jane Austen story. This is just me, doing my Matt thing. And why do you leave so late? I thought teachers usually called it quits around 6.” Matt went to the doorway and walked out to the hall where he looked over the artwork on a bulletin board.

Mercy

Mercedes covered her mouth as a snort came out. "Wow. I can't even believe you said that." She shrugged. "I know they do but most teachers have families to go home too. I like being here, it feels less lonely." She shrugged it off.  "Ignore I said that."

Matt

“See. Now you’ve gone and hurt your dog’s feelings. He probably thinks you like being home with him but you’re here instead.” It felt surreal to be in a school after hours. As if he was about to disrupt some ritual the teachers do at night. “But I get it. The nights my parents have James its me and my beer and Netflix. Or Hulu. I like variety.”

Mercy 

"He is with the dog walker until I get home, I am not that mean." She locked her door and walked out the building. "Oh so you get your "netflix and chill" on huh? But I use Amazon too."

Matt

“Dog walkers hang out with the dog after they walk them?” Matt’s Silverado was parked on the other side of the building but he’d just hoof it after she left. “Netflix and chill’s when you’ve got someone over.” Matt grinned, winking at her. He needs to stop. “Ah. Prime. I let that go but I heard some shows are worth checking out.”

Mercy 

"My neighbor always wanted a dog but her mom won't let her so we worked it out to where she takes care of chewy when I am not there and she gets a dog and gets paid." Did he just wink at her? Was he flirting? No he wasn't she was definitely tired. "I mean I supposed." She reached her car and smiled. "Well thank you, I appreciate you walking me."

Matt

“Almost like you’re co-parenting a dog. That was a real nice thing you did for them. We weren’t allowed pets growing up so I feel that.” He stopped next to a car and did one of those bows and pretending to lift a hat off his head at the same time. “I bid thee a goodnight, fair Ms. Mercedes Jones.”

Mercy 

"Yeah well I wanted to make her happy and I did. I love Chewy and this way he gets the best of both worlds." Mat bowed and she smirked. "Why kind sir I do thank thee and wish thee a goodnight as well." She said unlocking her door.

Matt

He laughed, glad she went along with this. Matt walked back a few paces and stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets and waved her off after she backed up and pulled away. Matt knew he skirted a fine line there but it wasn’t his fault his son’s teacher smoking hot. “Not a bad parent teacher conference.” He said to himself as he started the trek to his car. “Wonder what she’ll say if I send a meme as my first text...”

[kimmiherself]

CHAPTER TWO: THE BEGINNING

It was almost the end of the first half of the school year. Examinations were coming up. Projects piling up. As the editor-in-chief, I still hadn't finished working on our school paper, which was almost due for release. School activities were also lining up, waiting to be planned. To my friends' distaste, I also became the president of our student organization. We all knew I wasn't the best candidate for the position, but I won anyway. My small group of friends at school thought I was kind of immature and way too emotional—definitely a cry-baby—to handle a responsibility as big as that, considering I had to lead the entire high school. Well, I didn't believe I was immature but I had to agree I was a little sensitive, but the points to my grades mattered so much to me that I couldn't care less.

It was barely noon and my morning classes weren't finished yet, but there I was, lying uncomfortably in one of the beds in the school clinic, bothered by both the warm compress the nurse laid over my lower abdomen and the pain it was trying to relieve. I loathed the cramps that came with the monthly visits. When your stomach felt like it was being twisted into knots and being squeezed out of its life, it could do more than dampen one's day. But if I were to look at more tasks left unticked in my notepad, I'd rather embrace the physical pain and thank the heavens for the blessing in disguise. I badly needed the break.

The pain had been coming and going for the last hour but it sure was becoming more and more bearable each passing minute. And I was starting to get bored too. I tried sleeping but it wasn't working at all so I settled with fiddling with the mobile device in my hands. It wasn't the hottest cellphone in the market but it was a gift from my father and was better than most of my classmates'. It had a built-in camera that I barely used. I tried taking photos of myself in private a couple of times but I never learned to like any of them. In fact, I cringed at those horrible selfies. I filled my gallery with girlish wallpapers and cute GIFs instead. It also didn't have an MP3 player like the very high-end ones but it had ringtones of some of my favorite love songs, enough to entertain me.

But that day it seemed like nothing was working for me. I went to check my inbox for unread messages. There was none. I scanned through them and found Matthew's long list of sweet messages that I'd like to read over and over again, along with some inspirational quotes from my friends. One text caught my attention, though. It simply said hello but it lacked the appropriate punctuation mark and the first letter wasn't even capitalized. Coming from an unknown number, it was weird that I hadn't deleted it yet. I knew texts needed not to have proper structure and grammar but I still preferred it that way. Matthew didn't have a problem with that since he was also as particular as me in that department.

I'd barely respond to unknown numbers, especially if their texts looked stupid and offensive to my eyes—grammar-wise, that was why I was so surprised with myself when I typed, "I don't usually talk to strangers, but who are you?" and sent it back to that unknown number.

I really wasn't expecting anything from that number and started sending Matthew some messages next. I missed talking to him. He mostly never responded to my messages and I couldn't even call him. I'd hate to take so much of his time that I hardly ever called and I especially hated it when the calls got rejected. Aside from having a hectic schedule, Matthew needed money and he couldn't always afford to buy prepaid load for his phone. And I understood that. I just really missed him. When I bought him prepaid load one time, it just didn't end well for me. I probably even offended him. So I learned to wait...and wait.

My phone suddenly chimed.

1 new message received flashed on my screen.

I readjusted my back so I could settle comfortably and quickly pressed the ok button, hoping to see Matthew's reply.

It wasn't his.

"Not a stranger, just Raven Maude," I read the text from the unknown number. Scrunching my nose, I typed, "I'll decide on that," and paused, thinking where I heard that name. "Well, I know one Maude. Her name's Cathy." We didn't go to the same high school but Cathy's from my village and everyone around there seemed to just know each other. One of my friends from the village had a crush on her too so whenever we met, she was almost always part of our conversations.

I barely waited when my phone chimed again. Surely, it was from the stranger. It said, "She's actually my little sister. Jeje..."

I cringed at the last part of his text. Emojis weren't a thing yet in 2007 so you really had to spell out your laughs in texts, but I preferred h for haha or hehe over their j counterparts. The latter bothered me a lot. Wait...did he just say she was his sister? "Huh," I puffed out. He just pointed out two things. One, he couldn't be a total stranger when I knew one of his kin. Two, I was a moron thinking I knew everyone in my village.

I tried to picture him out in my head. Although petite, Cathy was pretty good-looking so he couldn't have deviated that far if they were truly siblings. Then I remembered there was one time, a few years ago, some of those kids in the village talked about Cathy's brother, whose name I didn't even care to know, and they giggled as they did so. I was curious for like five seconds and went on with my life. I never even got to see his face. It's weird how we never bumped into each other in the village until now.

"Really? Small world," I started typing my reply. "By the way, where did you get my number?" I asked, not at all amused that someone shared my personal information without my permission.

He said it was Marie, another common friend of ours from the village. "I saw you with her and your other friends in the plaza a few weeks ago. I asked her for your number. I hope you don't mind...with your aversion to strangers and all."

I rolled my eyes but decided to let go of that comment. Indeed, there was a recent community event in the village square and I was invited by Marie and her group to perform one dance with them. I hadn't caught on the steps yet and I was lucky the lights went out and didn't get to perform in the end. It sure would be embarrassing especially now that I learned there was someone behind those throng of expectators whose eyes were on me for at least a moment.

"It's fine. You're only half a stranger after all," I said, without fully meaning it. I looked at his first message once again and realized it had been sitting there on my phone for a few weeks now. I wondered if he thought I was a snob. Not that it mattered. I knew this was just a hi-and-bye encounter, just two people who belonged to the same community nodding at each other's way to acknowledge their existence.

My phone chimed yet again. "Good. Now we're friends."

********************************************

Raven didn't warn me how clingy he was for a friend. We sent each other messages more than friends usually did—at least, more than I texted my friends. We easily got past awkward introductions and dove right into casual conversations that had started to become a routine. Mornings started with greetings and ended with, "Have you had your lunch yet?" Nights were filled with a cannonade of questions about each other and always ended with either a good-night or a sleep-well.

I knew it was unfair of me to compare Matthew with Raven but I couldn't help but wonder how amazing it would be if my boyfriend showed me as much attention as Raven did. I sighed, reminding myself that Matthew was not just a college student but also a part-time employee of a fastfood chain, which implied he had way more important things to do than waste time on his phone. Besides, he asked me to give him time and wait for us to be together; I shouldn't be feeling resentful. But talking to Raven had been a pleasant experience and, though I still missed my boyfriend, my nights had started to become less lonely than they used to be.

By the end of the week, I learned that Raven was a freshman in college in the same city as Matt's. He wanted to become either a civil engineer or a seafarer but, by his mother's persuasion, ended up taking a two-year course in Hotel and Restaurant Management. He said his mother thought his aim was too high. He didn't graduate at the top of his class in high school but he wasn't dumb either. It's a shame he didn't even get to try it out.

I learned that Raven didn't have a favorite color and that was weird. Who didn't have a favorite color? Like even the slightest bias to one or two? Raven just didn't think it mattered. He liked playing the guitar, though. In fact, he just bought one, out of his savings from his school allowance and other sidelines. He didn't mention he worked part-time so I wondered what those were.

Raven also talked about basketball, saying it's that one thing he really was passionate about. I knew nothing about it and thought it was crazy to go home almost every weekend for a game or two. Basketball leagues, according to him, topped the sports activities in our district. Leagues were hosted everywhere and Raven and his team wouldn't dare miss one. He even mentioned he would've been in the seminary already instead of his current school if that one big game didn't fall on the same day as his departure. It appalled me how he could just easily make big decisions and outright change plans just to suit his schedule. It was so not my cup of tea.

"It's funny, you know," Raven said once over the phone.

"What?"

"That you say you've never seen me when we've had several encounters already."

That piqued my curiosity. "Really? I don't recall ever meeting you."

"No, you haven't," he said. "But when you were little—we were little, I used to see you with your uncle all the time in their farm. I'm friends with his nephews, you know."

"Really?" I gasped. I hoped he didn't catch me in those moments when I was stuffing my mouth with so much fruit that I could barely chew them, because the food was all the reason why I stuck around my uncle and their family's farm. But who could resist fruits, right, especially my favorites, Durian and Rambutan?

"And we also used to play basketball in front of your house. There's like a makeshift basketball ring there, if you haven't noticed. Whenever you came home from your school, you would just walk right in front of us—with that gigantic luggage you call your school bag, your head always down, never looking at anyone."

That made me chuckle. "I'm sorry I'm such a snob," I replied, feigning remorse. "I'm just not comfortable walking through a crowd." A crowd of boys, especially. I just tried to be as invisible as I could be. I knew I would just embarrass myself like tripping over or something if I knew someone was looking at me. I just knew it. Yes, I was a dancer and I performed on stage with enough confidence and grace, but as soon as the performance ended, I quickly went back to being shy, awkward, and clumsy.

"It's funny how you squirmed whenever the ball rolled towards your feet," he said with a laugh.

"It's called a reflex, Raven!" I exclaimed, shuddering at the recollection. I didn't have any phobia with balls but I couldn't help but picture my impending demise whenever it came near me, considering my rather inept ability of handling surprises. I just knew that a time would come when I'd finally trip over that evil orb and fall down on my knees, my white skirt uniform flying over my head and showing my bum, and everyone would just laugh at me. I shuddered at the thought. "Everything would be fine as long as the ball and I kept our distance from each other," I whispered to myself.

Raven didn't seem to hear that. "You never noticed how the world would seem to stop whenever you walked past us, do you?"

I snorted, but I felt the heat creep up my cheeks. "Now you're just being silly, Mr. Raven Maude!"

"Seriously, Kier..." My name just sounded a little strange coming from him. But not in a creepy way. It just sounded a little soft and sweet and it made me feel a little warm and fuzzy. Great! I rolled my eyes at the thought. "A lot of boys like you, Kiera." He paused then added, "But we all know you're like the stars...twinkling at us from up the sky but impossible to reach."

"Yeah, right..." I chuckled nervously, pushing away the thoughts that came flooding with the we and us from his last statement. "You're just exagerrating things, Raven, because that's not probable. They don't even know me and, mind you, no one has ever asked me out." Even at school, no one really shows interest in me...well, except for Aaron, but he's already moved on to the next girl.

"That's the thing, Kier. You're different from the rest of the girls. Everyone knows you're that pretty, smart, and talented girl—who barely comes down from her castle to mingle with us, commoners," he paused to chuckle. "But no one really knows you. You're like a mystery waiting to be solved," he continued, causing tiny drums to start playing inside my chest. "But everyone's scared of the unknown, so..."

"So everyone's scared of me?" I said, laughing.

He laughed too, then paused for a while before saying, "I'm not."

I didn't know when or how but those tiny drums were now accompanied by other instruments that my chest had morphed into a grand venue for an elaborate orchestra. And it was overwhelming. Too overwhelming that I started to feel nauseated. What am I doing? I didn't know if it could be called flirting but Raven and I were becoming more than casual friends. And this most definitely wasn't a hi-and-bye encounter! I realized I had been responding to his messages all too eagerly and began looking forward to those everytime my phone beeped. I also didn't have a problem answering to his phone calls even at school. I knew Matthew wouldn't be too thrilled about this new friend of mine, especially if he knew he never really surfaced in our conversations. I was a terrible liar and I wouldn't deliberately lie. It's just that Raven never asked me about having a boyfriend. And I never did ask him too. A girlfriend, I meant. I didn't ask him if he had a girlfriend. We were just being friendly to each other and there was no harm in that. And I thought it was probably just me and my obsession with love stories that I had started thinking about a budding romance between the two of us. I was probably just reading too much into things.

********************************************

Semestral break was now days ahead, just the breather that I needed. Examinations were almost done and there I was with the group of dancers at my school, practicing for our presentation to be showcased during the opening of the week-long inter-school sports competition for next month. Dancing was what I loved, next to reading books and sketching portraits. I'd easily get lost to music and beautiful movements. It made me feel free. And nothing was more freeing than dancing contemporary under a new choreographer for the event, which was a challenge that my group and I accepted wholeheartedly. Plus, I couldn't play sports. I was clumsy that I'd either miss serving a volleyball or get hit in the face with a basketball. The only way I could get those points from sports events was through cheering and dancing.

When we had had enough pirouettes and toe touch jumps, my friends and I slumped into the floor to rest. "I can't wait for the semestral break," most of them murmured. I also looked forward to creeping into my bed without body aches and waking up without a worry in the world. Just as my heartbeat started slowing down from racing and my sweats stopped pouring, my cellphone rang.

I turned rigid. I didn't have many people calling me. There's just my mom, actually. Matthew barely even texted. And there's...Raven.

My heart raced once again as I rummaged through my bag to look for my phone. When I finally found it, he really didn't disappoint. I ran outside the room to answer his call, my friends' curious eyes on me.

"Hi," I said through ragged breaths. When I realized Raven and I had been constantly on the phone to text each other, I tried to pull back and refocused my attention to school and Matthew. I hadn't heard from him for a while and this was so unexpected it kind of made me all flushed. I tried to sound a little less excited but I couldn't help my lips from twitching into a full-blown smile.

"Hello, Kiera..." he answered, his voice just as rasped and as sweet as I remembered it. It was weird that I could imagine him smiling behind that voice. And I hadn't even seen him yet. "Where are you?"

"School," I answered shortly.

"Isn't it your semestral break already?" he asked, his voice still making me feel all the fuzzy feelings I first had with Matthew.

I shook my head but felt stupid for doing it over the phone. "Not yet. I still have a couple of days or so. Why do you ask?"

I heard him chuckle. "I'm going home, Kier."

"Y-Yeah?" I murmured, my heart now beating erratically. I didn't know why but the thought of this person, whom I had shared a lot of conversations with over the phone for the last few weeks, coming home and probably wanting to see me felt like a really bad idea but one I still wanted to succumb to. "So you're done with your first semester in college?"

"Absolutely, maam," he said in a more playful tone. "And I can't wait to go home..."

He dragged his last word that I thought he still had something else to say, but there was nothing. I was glad our conversations still remained completely platonic and innocent. "That's great, Rave. Congratulations!"

"Thanks!" I imagined him grinning as he said that.

"So when is this great homecoming?"

He chuckled. "Soon," he said. "I'll see you when I see you."

I laughed too. "Sure," I answered. "I'll see you when I see you too."

The call didn't last long. He only wanted to say he was coming home and it left me feeling weak on the knees. I was scared of seeing him, of fully realizing that he was a real person and not just a figment of my imagination...and that I had been entertaining someone else, even if it was hardly romantic, behind Matthew's back. My excitement died down a little.

I went back to the room, my head still wrapped up around Raven's impending homecoming. I didn't realize what my face looked like until André, my gay best friend, shot me a curious look and asked, "What's with that grinning face? It's annoying!" I went to him and slumped giddily beside him. "Who was that?"

"Matthew..." I answered with a slight shrug of my shoulders.

"Uh-huh? If you say so," he said, his eyes still pierced on mine, telling me what a terrible liar I was.

Nobody knew about Raven because I didn't want my friends telling me that what I was doing was wrong especially when there was really nothing between Raven and I. I knew they wouldn't believe that. Even I have my doubts too. But Raven and I never crossed a line, which was what really mattered, and his presence in my life was a breath of fresh air I didn't realize I was craving so much. And again, I might have been just imagining things that weren't really there. Raven was a college student who probably had a lot of beautiful college girls flocking around him. He might even have a girlfriend waiting for him too. I just knew him through our text messages and calls but I didn't really know him that much. I was stupid to think of anything other than a platonic relationship between us but it also somehow felt disappointing, which scared me a lot because that would be validating I somehow felt something for him. Even just a little. And it would crush Matthew.

Oh, Matthew...

I had never been more guilty in my life.

[lewigm-blog]

Newsletter 3.5: With just a few loaves and some fish we can all do the Magis

Published August 22, 2019

 “Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, who in turn gave them to the crowds. They all ate and were satisfied…”

-        Matthew 14: 13-21

 This one goes out to all those who have fed me when they thought they didn’t have much to give. It is because you give, that I am where I am today. Surely those efforts have helped others out as now it is me who is sharing more loaves of bread and fish than I thought I had.

 During our misa a few weeks ago, Matthew’s gospel passage had me reflecting on the magis, which for those who don’t know is a Jesuit/Latin comparative adjective meaning “the more.” This is something that Saint Ignatius constantly reflected on and challenged others in. At any time, it is to be and give more of yourself to others, yourself and, by nature, God as well. I have had countless opportunities to live out this magis during my time as a JV. I could always give my students and community more attention, a project more of my energy, and be more present during mass or during “Peruvian” meetings. While these are just a few situations in which the litany and struggles of life have tempted me from performing at 100%, I recognize that it is a completely normal thing to experience from time to time.

In the world of a volunteer and, I imagine, a professional, the temptation to be and do “enough” will happen more than once and can affect other areas of our lives. It can sneak into our routines subtly and casually (as sin usually does), but it can also happen all at once through traumatic events such as the death of a loved one, an accident or any other unexpected tragedy. You may very well be experiencing this difficulty in your lives now as Jesus did upon hearing the news of the death of John the Baptist during this past week’s reading. Like Jesus, we may want to retreat from the world to recover from a difficult moment but sometimes God has other plans for us and puts people in our lives that call for us to be more. In this Gospel reading we see that Jesus still tends to the needs of the people, performing miracles and constantly giving more of himself for others even when he may not be at his best emotionally. It is during these experiences that we are tested and pushed to the limit as people. Sometimes it is the people we give all of ourselves to that are the ones goading us, pushing us closer to the brink of giving up.

The children of Israel lamented, “Would that we had meat for food! We remember the fish we used to eat without cost in Egypt…But now we are famished; we see nothing before us but this manna.”

*This one does hit home with me literally as the frequency and access to meat was much more readily available back in the states than here in Peru, but I digress…

Oh, how ungrateful the Israelites were! Oftentimes, our service or jobs have us encountering and accompanying people who complain and fail to recognize the love in our labor as Moses experienced. Our children, students or anyone else who depends on us might be crying out for something that we aren’t exactly offering or feel obliged to offer. The hope is that they are seeking the magis, but it usually isn’t phrased or perceived this way. It can present itself as moaning and groaning after the students’ “reward” for finishing their work early is yet another worksheet. It could also be in the form of blank stares of silence and indifference after showing them what you initially thought was interesting or profound. God forbid you try to get your students to think a bit more critically! Maybe it’s just an off day for you and them and they’re not ready to understand why you teach this way. They might not even know what their words or actions are doing to our spirit, but it can be tough to keep moving forward from this. I haven’t had a formal education in teaching so why am I here anyway? All these thoughts have raced through my mind while I’m in school teaching.

“Why do you treat your servant so badly?” Moses asked the LORD. “Why are you so displeased with me that you burden me with all this people?... Where can I get [meat] (insert whatever applies in your vocation) to give to all this people? For they are crying to me, ‘Give us [meat] for our food.’ …If this is the way you will deal with me, then please do me the favor of killing me at once, so that I need no longer face this distress.”

Well we certainly don’t want to push Mr. Moses, cause he’s close to the edge (for the song reference click here). In the book of Numbers (11: 4b-15), we see an image of a frustrated, on-the-edge Moses (and at times Luis during 6th grade Catechism classes) going through a difficult experience. I remember feeling this way several times after the initial “new teacher” grace period was over. Some of my students wanted to test me and push me and see what would happen. Thankfully, I didn’t let it bother me too much initially, but after some time and external responsibilities piling up, I began to show my inner Moses.

Curiously enough, my session on the Ten Commandments for my 6th graders in June had me wanting to pull my hairs out. We were about about a month away from the mid-year break and the kids were starting to show their readiness for the vacation. This session was supposed to take only one class, but it spanned two, hour and a half sessions across two weeks. The session seemed simple as I asked the students to find the scripture passage on the Commandments, read it as a group (popcorn style) and then identify 10 or so commandments. A few of the commandments weren’t explicitly written out and this threw them for a loop. Once the 30-minute ordeal was over, I grouped them by table and they were to write on papelón, or big paper, their assigned commandment and provide an illustration of one situation in which people followed the commandment and then one example of people disobeying the commandment. The activity dragged on and the students did not want to cooperate. I was growing frustrated as I struggled to maintain order in class, so I asked them to present their illustrations. The results were sad, but hilarious.

The “Best” of the presentations on the Ten Commandments

           Perhaps not the most kind and loving way to teach, but I am still learning and feel that I have a sense of humor to uphold. After this episode, there were constant breaks in our lessons week to week as events would come up that would leave several weeks between religion classes. It is important to note that we teach religion once a week, which only made matters worse. This lack of organization at Fe y Alegria, my waning patience, and an overall lack of commitment to much of anything brought me into a low and apathetic state. I eventually fell into a trap of copy-and-paste lesson planning. I would provide relatively simple lessons that summarized the celebration, origin of a Saint or an image of Mary that was conveniently packaged into a video that I found the night before, or morning of class. The unoriginal and unengaging sessions could be likened to that of a substitute teacher plan that I had always dreamed and hoped for as a middle schooler myself; It was a shortcut way of “teaching” if one could call it that. In hindsight, this period was when my flame and passion for JVC and teaching flickered and grew dim. Utterly disheartened, inexplicably exhausted and seemingly drained of creativity, I found myself in a power save mode of myself.

This change didn’t happen overnight, and I still struggle to pinpoint its origins, but I realized that it wasn’t healthy place to be. It led to a lack of enthusiasm in many aspects of my life, namely with my JVC community, local relationships with coworkers, and then to family and friends from home. The JVC values of simple living, social justice, spirituality and community were also reduced greatly and often neglected. I was, as some of my Spaniard friends say, in la ubi or a critical point in my life. Thankfully I just had to make it until the mid-year break in order to see my girlfriend and lifegiving force Cat. But even with these brief feelings of excitement, I would wakeup exhausted and knew that I just needed a break. When the opportunity to sign up for the Spiritual Exercises came up, I took them seriously in the hope that it would restore me to the gung-ho, high energy JV I knew I was. I was hoping to encounter God and myself, and thankfully I did.

The 3-day experience of the Spiritual Exercises was a refreshing dive into the deep end of spirituality that came at the right time. I had always been in the pool, but I think I wasn’t doing myself any favors by staying in the shallow end for so long. It helped me reset and reassess what was important to me and let go of anything that wasn’t conducive to my growth and wellbeing. I used Dean Brackley’s The Call to Discernment in Troubled Times as a guide through the exercises and what moved me the most was his chapter on forgiveness. I was having a hard time accepting the fact that we are all sinners and have to ask God for the grace to accept ourselves.

“From a gospel point of view, appreciating God’s healing mercy is more important than fixating on our defects. For what frees us is knowing that we are acceptable and accepted, not as a prize for being good, but in spite of being not so good.” (29)

This quote, among others in the book, helped me to understand the way that God sees us as people in need of constant forgiveness. It might be the reason why Jesus helped out those folks who followed Him even when He wanted to be off by Himself. We are certainly imperfect creatures and it isn’t easy to admit that we are flawed and are in need of forgiveness. This self-forgiveness leads into other areas of our lives and helps us to recognize that those we serve also need forgiveness and patience. It works by both offering it whenever possible, but also accepting it whenever we need it. If you think about your own professions, the same might be said about you! I understand and appreciate this now especially as a teacher myself. Along with my own classes in primary school I also assist with the preschool in the mornings. I am more than aware of the amount of energy and patience is necessary to manage 30 children for several hours at a time! Something that the exercises that helped me reflect the goodness in the day was to review one’s day, week or year in this way:

Where was God in my day today? Where was it easy to find Him? Where was it difficult? How have I helped another? How was my energy or mood in that moment? Where do I draw my energy to continue forward when I begin to grow tired? Is this sustainable? Why or why not? This is simply a way of focusing less on the errors in our ways of teaching and more on the goodness of our service and labor. I am all too aware that I have a hyper-sensitivity and criticalness to how I live out my day and this can bog me down easily.

Something that helped me slowdown and be more was being assigned the chore of taking out the garbage. The unfortunate part about having the garbage chore is that the truck comes on Saturdays and you must unload your garbage whenever the truck arrives (between 6:30-8:00am) or else the company doesn’t pick it up. I took the morning and chore silently as I walked through the main plaza of Andahuaylillas and appreciated the stillness and beauty of the surrounding mountains. While I waited for the truck to arrive, I saw a short elderly woman that I had never seen before getting her garbage out onto the street. She came closer to me and advised me through hand gestures that the truck was on the other side of the street. I realized that she was deaf and tried her best to communicate with me. One of the reflection readings for the Exercises and this moment had me thinking about how Jesus healed the deaf man in (Mark 7:31-37). I also thought about how Jesus was reaching out to the poor and marginalized and gave them the opportunity to feel heard and listened to. I decided to sit down with this woman and let her feel heard, even though I couldn’t understand most of what she was saying.

I began to see and appreciate the way God works through people. It was as if He was telling me to stop and listen to others. It didn’t take much effort, it only took some time, patience and presence for me to be fulfilled in that moment. It might not seem like much, but the magis that I speak of is much like this. The magis isn’t only the great moments that transform the world noticeably, but a simple outpouring of self when you don’t have to. I used to think about how people sometimes seem to be “slowing me down” with a hello or how are you, when in reality these are the opportunities to be more for others. It is an opportunity to lean into someone’s life and be there to ask them the same. It is a habit that builds with time and mindful reflection. The Exercises have taught me to pray for God’s grace to be able to encounter Him more whenever the time or opportunity arises. It seemed foreign to me when I first truly heard about praying for grace, but it has improved my ability to find God in all things, large and small.

An example of how kindness imprints on the heart. Ben, a former JV, being embraced with one of his old students from his time here four years ago

This has changed my outlook and attitude on the kind of teacher I want to be. I feel more capable of giving myself over to the lives of the students and other teachers. I have a newfound source of patience with the kids, and it has already made a world of a difference. That isn’t to say that I haven’t slipped here and there, but I am much more mindful of the moments that we do have a productive session or activity. Even looking back before the Exercises, I realized that I did have fantastic moments of learning and discussion. It has happened less than I would like since working with primary school aged students is (roughly) 75% classroom management and whatever is left over is for learning material. I use learning loosely as it isn’t only about knowing concepts, but also the development of the whole person. Although we can build a tolerance for workloads and social obligations, we need these hiatuses from time to time to turn our low battery mode selves into a high-performance version of ourselves as well. When we are able to reach the 110% range and beyond, we can work and function more creatively and spectacularly for and with others.

The preschoolers are learning to cut hair and take on some adult responsibilities such as reading magazines

Ordering the mass by events! I learned a lot myself by planning this activity.

 It takes constant reflection and humility to be able to discern what our hearts are craving, but we must also ask for God’s grace to develop this skill. We may at times feel that we know what we need to be our full selves, and to an extent we do, but this knowledge is slowly revealed to us by God through people and experiences. We might believe that we crave one thing (type of food or drink), but in reality, what we needed was another (appetizer) that reminds us to stop and savor the moment (food) we are chewing now. I want to thank those who have given me exactly what I needed even when I didn’t know I needed it. These folks are the educators in my life who taught me the invaluable lessons of hard work, reflection, and self-empowerment that have kept me going. This is for all those in the counseling/ after school programs, coaches, family, friends and all my mentors in between. A number of you are on this list and know who you are. Keep on with the magis attitude but also give time for yourselves to rediscover or reignite that flame if you are ever feeling exhausted or overwhelmed with work. Even Jesus needed lunch breaks from time to time, so once again thanks for sharing yours.

“Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, who in turn gave them to the crowds. They all ate and were satisfied…”

  Matthew 14: 13-21

Peace,

Luis

P.S.

I would like to hear you tales and moments of feelings of burnout and being overwhelmed with life, and how you have moved past this. Teachers of mine! I ask that (if possible) to please share your stories, because I am sure that I have likely been the culprit or source of some of that grief at some point or another. (Whether that be sleeping in the front row of class or something from my time as an angsty teenager!) I look forward to hearing from you!

  For more pics click here! https://photos.app.goo.gl/Ay3FwhQEGCoRQ3oj9

(Full reading here)

[ddproductionsw77]

The Electronic Configuration of Hate and Love (Pt. 3)

Fandom: Girl Meets World

Pairing(s): Riarkle

Story Description: "The only thing the two seemed able to agree upon was that Abigail Adams was definitely not big enough for the both of them." Riley Matthews and Farkle Minkus have hated each other from the first day of Freshmen year, but now they have to spend the rest of their Senior year chemistry partners.

Author’s Note: So, I’m debating… This story is currently rated T in most posted locations but in working on my plan for the story, I realized that I wanted to bring more adult subject matter, like sex, drinking, partying into it. So my question is, keep the story T and warn about the more M chapter (it’ll still never be graphic or like smut cuz I can’t) or bump the rating up to M?

She liked him.

Riley wasn't too such of too many things in that moment, frozen in time with Farkle on the steps leading to Topanga’s.

But she was sure of one and that was that she really liked him. Like, the couldn’t-think-straight, couldn’t-talk-right, couldn’t-look-away-from-him kind of liked him. It was a flame in her chest, flickering in time to the beat of her heart. A burning desire, as Robert Frost had said, to feel more, touch more.

When the hell had that even happened?

She hadn’t a clue but it was as undeniable to her now as the sky being blue or grass being green.

Riley Matthews liked Farkle Minkus and as much, much more than a potential friend, or a real friend, or even a possible best friend. Not as any kind of just-friend.

Laying in bed that night, she stared up at the ceiling and let her mind wonder as far as the stars outside of her bay window. It was completely ridiculous, totally unfounded, and one-hundred percent useless to think about, but she couldn’t help but imagine a world where maybe Farkle didn’t despise her.

A world where they were maybe real friends. He could listen to her without feeling the need to make some dumb quip and she could finally relax around him. They wouldn’t always seem to be walking on eggshells, dancing around something that was probably really nothing.

But that was the question that really kept Riley awake.

If there was nothing, if all the attraction and tension was in her head, then why on Earth had Farkle Minkus come to her in a moment of need? And why had he looked at her standing over him like she was some saving grace?

Riley didn’t fall asleep until the sun had already started to come up.

The next day, Riley stepped into Abigail Adams High School filled to the brim with nervous, giddy energy. Her cheeks felt rosy and warm as she trailed alongside Maya, a smile in her brown eyes but a little reluctance in her pace.

The pair made their way across the hall to their neighboring lockers.

"Maya?"

"Yeah, Riles?"

Riley glanced down at the books in her arms and then back up at her blonde friend who was still shifting through her messier locker. "Have you ever liked someone when you know you shouldn't?"

Maya smirked and slammed her locker closed, winking at the brunette, "Uncle Boing, remember? God, sometimes it's like you don't know me at all!"

"Well, if you know you shouldn't like him than why do you keep chasing him?"

"I am not chasing him!"

"Maya! Just answer me!"

"Why?"

"Because-" Riley faltered, sputtering, "Because I'm, um, just curious."

Maya narrowed her eyes on her friend before something seemed to catch her eye from over the girl's shoulder. She did a double take, making Riley snap around in curiosity.

Farkle Minkus was making his way down the hall, hands in his pockets, and talking to Lucas Friar. He didn't seem to notice the girls watching him, not even glancing their way as he continued his joking and found his own locker.

That was the time when Riley would usually grumble some complaint but she didn’t. Instead, she found herself frozen to the ground beneath her feet, the school hallway fading to a grayscale against the contrast of electric blue eyes and warm, pale skin.

A corner of Riley’s lips upturned as she observed Farkle break into that oh-so-rare grin that actually illuminated the room whenever he broke it out. In her chest, that burning fire seemed to flare to life once again. The fire that only Farkle could spark, boiling her blood and smoking out her coherent thoughts.

Lucas slapped his friend on the back before both turned in sync to an approaching Zay Babineaux.

A smack to her own shoulder made Riley jump as she whirled back around to a gaping Maya, “What?!”

Maya covered her mouth, a laugh still escaping from her fingers, “Farkle?”

Riley’s eyes widened and she coughed, hammering on her own chest, “I, I have no idea what you’re talking about, Peaches! Honestly-“

“Thunder.” The blonde exclaimed, holding out her ringed finger with a pointed look.

The brunette groaned, running her hand down her face before dropping to link her finger with Maya’s. “Lightening,”

The two girls’ gazes met and Riley swallowed, glancing over her shoulder where Farkle was still joking with his friends. Turning back to Maya, she pleadingly hissed, “You can’t tell anyone!”

“Like I ever would? Seriously, Honey,” Maya rolled her eyes before a crease formed in her forehead, “Wait, he’s why you asked about liking someone you know you shouldn’t?” When Riley didn’t answer and instead started off towards homeroom, Maya simply kept going, “Why shouldn’t you like him? He’s smart, tall, some would say ‘cute’…”

The blonde trailed off, noticing her friend’s forlorn expression, “Okay, what am I missing? Why do you look like someone just kicked your puppy?”

“Who would ever do should a thing!?”

“Riley.”

The brunette sighed, finding her usual seat in their shared homeroom before turning to Maya beside her. She glanced around like she was discussing a covert operation and not just some guy before speaking. Her voice held something powerful, emotional, that Maya hadn’t been prepared for.

“I shouldn’t like him because he’s never going to see me that way.” Riley shrugged, looking down at her shaky hands, “He hates me and even if he didn’t, what would be the point in starting anything? He’s going to Princeton next year and I have Columbia so…”

Maya broke in, “So, you’re not even going to try?”


Riley gave her a look from the corner of her eye, “He hates me, Maya.”

The blonde rolled her eyes as the teacher came in. The bell rang but she still leaned over to Riley to whisper, “Trust me, I really don’t think he does.”

Yeah, well, Maya had no fucking clue what she was talking about. Riley thought darkly about halfway through Chemistry. By that time she was just watching the hands on the clock crawl closer and closer to the bell.

Whatever moment Farkle and she had had was most definitely over.

He'd made that incredibly clear the second he'd arrived, completely ignoring her meek 'hello' along with the rest of her existence. Since then, the class had crawled by as Riley tried to keep herself from doing something stupid, like screaming at the boy or crying in frustration.

Or snap over something that normally didn’t bother her.

But the nonstop tapping of Farkle’s pencil against his notebook was grinding on her very last nerve. It was all she could hear, making it impossible to focus on the lecture Mr. Hudson was attempting to give.

Groaning in frustration, Riley reached over and placed her hand over Farkle’s. She closed her eyes and sighed in the relief of silence before turning her head to face the inevitable music.

Farkle was glaring at her, glancing between her profile and their linked hands. At least he had finally acknowledged her?

The girl flushed, feeling electricity surge up her arm from the cells in contact with the ill-tempered genius, and tried to remain steady as she hissed, “What is your problem?”

“Currently,” Farkle started, narrowing his eyes, “You are.”

Riley stared at him, offended and dumbfounded for a moment before she also glared, “Too damn bad, partner.”

The boy scoffed and jerked his hand back in a completely unnecessary display of dramatics. Riley was just thinking about how shocking it was that Mr. Hudson hadn’t noticed their quarrel yet when something thin and bright red caught her eye.

It was a letter, written on a paper under Farkle’s notebook, previously tucked carefully out of sight and brought to light when he’d gone full diva.

It was a D.

Riley’s eyebrows furrowed and she looked back up at Farkle, who hadn’t yet noticed the paper was visible. How on Earth had Farkle fucking Minkus gotten anything but an A+ on an assignment? He was impeccable, exceptional, Princeton-bound, and everyone knew it.

Well, no wonder he’s throwing a bitch fit. A small voice reasoned in Riley’s head as she tried to appear casual, nibbling with her own pen. Weighing her options, she figured she didn’t have much to lose and spoke up.

“Final drafts are due tomorrow, right?”

Farkle stiffened beside her and she watched as his eyes darted to the paper on the desktop, face instantly draining of color. His knuckles turned white around his pencil but he remained silent.

Riley, true to her altruistic spirit, tried again, “Maybe I could take a look? You know, I took W131 last year and I am Ms. Pace’s student aid.”

Silence.

“You can still fix the grade, Farkle,” Slowly, hesitantly, Riley reached back out and brought her hand back over Farkle’s, gentle and loose this time, giving him all the power to pull away. He didn’t though, just eyed her polished fingertips with an unreadable expression.

“I don’t want your help.” Riley heard his words but also the lack of bite behind them. She knew him well enough at this point to know he was just being prideful.

Rolling her eyes, she took her hand back and picked up the paper between them. She began scanning and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “Stop being an ass for once and just let me read the damn paper. Topanga’s at-“

“-5. Fine, have it your way, Matthews.”

Riley could swear that she heard the smallest hint of relief in Farkle’s voice before the bell rang overhead.

“So?”

“Would you give a minute?”


“It’s a two-page paper, Matthews. Not A Brief History of Time.”

“Do you want me to tell you how to fix it or not?”

“I want to fix it, but goddamn, you are a slow reader.”

“Farkle?”

“What?”

“Shut up.”

The boy dropped his head into his hands, groaning in frustration. Across the table, Riley had pinned her hair up in a messy bun with curls cascading down haphazardly here and there, a pen popping out of her mouth and a highlighter in hand.

She really took the whole ‘peer editing’ thing to a new level. Then again, Farkle knew he should probably be thankful; he might be the scientific genius of Abigail Adams but everyone knew Riley Matthews was going to make Bestseller’s lists one day if she wasn’t too busy getting a Pulitzer. Writing was one thing that Farkle would fully admit Riley bested him in; so as annoying as they were, he tried not to question her methods.

Finally, Riley capped the highlighter and set down the pen, keeping her eyes on his now fully annotated, D-quality paper. He waited but the brunette stayed quiet 

“Matthews!”

An amused smile flickered over Riley’s features, as if she was completely aware of how insane she was driving him, and she looked up with an arched brow, “Hmm?”

“You know ‘hmm’.” He scoffed, sitting up to cross his arms over his chest.

Riley bit her lip to keep back another smile before shrugging, “It’s an accurate paper, basically textbook perfect. You varied sentence structure, used vivid diction, answered the prompt. It’s just…”

Farkle sat up straighter as she trailed off, “Just what?”

She sighed and rested her chin on the palm of her hand and looking up at him with those melting, chocolate eyes. “You’re not gonna like it.”

“Matthews,” He pressed, giving her exasperated look.

“Okay,” She raised her hands in surrender before leaning back in her booth, keeping their eyes level. “When I read your paper, I see what you’re trying to describe but I don’t feel it. I’m not connected; it doesn’t draw me in.”

“Feel it? What the hell does that even mean?” Farkle snapped, his defenses coming up.

For fuck’s sake, the boy was going to give her whiplash! Maybe she didn’t actually like him, maybe it was a temporary episode of insanity? Riley wondered, rolling her eyes before trying to explain, “It’s a descriptive narrative, Farkle.”

“And I described.”

“Your desk?” Riley asked, a tiny giggle of endearment bubbling up from her lips, “No one is going to connect to measuring the exact dimensions of your laptop.”

“It’s an empirical observation!” The genius countered, looking confused himself.

Riley gave him the look of exasperation this time, rubbing at her forehead, ”Yeah, well, people don’t connect to an empirical observation.”

The boy looked more confused than ever, sliding the paper back across the table. He looked over Riley’s notes, painstakingly taken in every section and crammed into the margins. She’d even used words like ‘please’ and had added little praises throughout just to soften the blow. How Riley Matthews of her…

“So, what do I do? I have to turn in something actually worth a decent grade by tomorrow.”

Farkle watched as Riley shifted in her seat, looking down into her lap, “Emotion can be pretty compelling,” She reached up and began doodling on the table top, “Write with emotion, Farkle.”

Write with emotion?

Farkle didn’t know how to do that.

He spent most of his time trying to not pay attention to his emotions. As a scientist, he had to think clinically and analytically. Pathos, feelings, and bleeding hearts; they didn’t have a place in a laboratory. Facts and figures didn’t lie, like his mother’s words, or change, like his father’s promises. It was why he’d always loved science; he’d realized pretty young that the whole ‘love’ and ‘passion’ thing wasn’t his cup of tea.

Reluctantly, he shifted his gaze to the window, “How exactly do you do that?”

From the corner of his eye, he could see Riley slowly look up at him. There was something in her eyes, something hot and terrifying and enticing. He didn’t let himself dwell on it. He just kept his eyes on the passing bodies of New Yorkers as she answered. 

“Write about something that makes you feel everything.”

The next day, something horrifying happened.

At lunch, Maya Hart plopped herself down right next to Lucas Friar. This sandwiched the Texan between her and Zay, leaving Farkle and the only other empty seats across the table.

All three boys watched the girl in confusion as Riley fumbled her way into the seat beside Farkle, setting her tray down with shaking hands. Being with him alone in the dark, cozy corner booth at Topanga’s? That felt as natural to her as breathing. But being inches from brushing his shoulder in the crowded cafeteria? She couldn’t think straight.

Farkle seemed unfazed, if a little confused. He gave her a questioning look as Lucas spoke up across from them, “Uh, well, hello? I’m-“

“We know who ya are, Ranger Rick. And I’m sure you know that I’m Maya and that’s my good influence, Riley.” The blonde nonchalantly flicked her fork in her best friend’s direction.

Zay jumped in, “Yeah, we do but, my question is, why are you sitting with us?”

Maya sighed, as if just talking to the two boys was exhausting her, and gestured to the pair across the table, “Because Dr. Farklestein and my girl are-“

“Chemistry partners!” Riley yelped.

“Friends?” Farkle wondered aloud at the same time.

The brunette’s heart skipped a beat in her chest, her cheeks instantly flushing a bright, strawberry red. 

Friends? Farkle had said ‘friends’! So, logically, even though he was still an ass from time to time, he couldn’t hate her anymore, right.

All eyes seemed to be on her. She found Farkle’s electric blue and relaxed, seeing only a mildly curiosity there and no offense. Nodding jerkily, Riley picked at the food on her tray, “We’re friends.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Zay threw up his hands, “I thought ya’ll hated each other?”

Farkle glared at his friend before shrugging, “I got valedictorian… And she’s alright.”

Riley focused herself to stay calm and collected, even if her heart hammering in her chest, “Oh, wow, thanks, Minkus! I think that’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

He threw her a smirk, “Don’t get use to it, Matthews.”

“So, Farkle,” Lucas broke in, eyeing the pair with suspicious eyes, “Have you talked to Smackle lately? She told me it’s been awhile and I think she misses you.”

Zay sighed, wistfully, “Man, I miss her! She was the only person who could deflate Farkle’s ego.”

Maya, catching Riley’s furrowed brow, spoke up, “Isadora Smackle, right? We went to elementary school with her.”

“Yeah, she hung out with us in Freshman and Sophomore year but then she moved to Sweden on this advanced college program.” Zay explained before turning to Farkle with an overdramatic pout, “Took poor Farkle’s heart with her!”

“Shut up, Zay. It wasn’t like that.” Farkle snapped, gripping his tray and bouncing his leg under the table.

Riley’s mind began to whirl. She knew about Smackle, the girl had been mentioned over various study sessions and, as Maya had said, they had gone to the same school so long ago. She knew Farkle had been best friends with the other girl through middle school and some of high school, but she’d always thought that was it. She always thought that Smackle and Farkle had been friends.

Before she could stop herself, Riley asked, “So, what was it like?”

Farkle turned to her, eyes narrowed. She kept her gaze wide-eyed and innocent, chanting over and over to herself that she was not jealous and that she had no right to be jealous.

After a second, the young genius shrugged, “We dated, she moved, we’re friends. It’s not a big deal.” He glared the last few words to Zay, who just laughed.

Even though Farkle seemed a little irritated, Riley couldn’t help but feel relieved. She didn’t really know why, it wasn’t like him not being with someone else meant he wanted to be with her, but still…

It sort of left a door open, didn’t it?

Farkle Minkus sat on his bed a few nights later, eyeing the cell phone in his hands with trepidation. It really had been too long since he’d last talked to Isadora… Yet, it still felt too soon to call.

They’d broken up two years ago, been apart as long with only the rare visit home here and there otherwise. And it wasn’t that he was still gutted over what had happened. Honestly, he hadn’t been all that gutted when it actually happened.

Isadora had invited him to the library to study. She’d been wearing a red sweater and a black skirt. He’d just finished summarizing the theory of motion that they’d been discussing when she’d set down her pen, looked him right in the eye and said Farkle, I feel it would be most prudent to end our romantic relationship.

He’d been confused, but then she’d explained her opportunity to go to Sweden and he’d understood that. He’d choose Princeton over her; he couldn’t be shocked that she’d do the same in her own way.

Besides, it was nice to be with Isadora but he knew life wouldn’t be much different in her absence. So they had parted ways and that was okay because they stayed friends.

And then, out of nowhere, on the last call Smackle had gotten giggly (she didn’t giggle) and said Zay was calling. She ignored the call but Farkle had pressed, asking what about Zay got her all flustered. Smackle had blurted out that she had a crush on their shared friend.

It shouldn’t have bothered Farkle.

In their relationship, Smackle had always been the one to care more, love more, want more. Farkle wasn’t in love with her, wasn’t planning on marrying her or even getting back together with her. Smackle was easy for him to communicate with and he cared about her but he’d always known that that wasn’t enough. He just hadn’t expected her to be the one to move on first.

So he’d made some excuse to hang up and they hadn’t talked since.

Time for that to change, Farkle sighed and opened his phone to dial the familiar number.

The phone opened up to his already open contacts, Riley Matthews newly added information staring up at him. He had her number now, had texted with her back and forth after school. The word ‘friends’ had kind of just tumbled out of his mouth the other day in the cafeteria but now it appeared that she actually was just that.

And something about Riley Matthews was what had motivated him to finally call Isadora. He couldn’t understand how she could move on when he still hadn’t cared for anyone like her. But Riley Matthews, she understood everyone, sympathized with everything, and she seemed pretty damn happy.

Maybe he should give her ways a shot?

The understand part, obviously. Not the whole moving on to a new romantic relationship part…

Deciding to contemplate that whole situation later, Farkle selected ‘Isadora Smackle’ and held the phone to his ear.

“Hello, Isadora Smackle speaking.”

It was Friday and Riley was feeling pretty depressed.

Auggie had a school performance and both Cory and Topanga had promised to be in attendance. Maya’s art was being displayed in a gallery downtown as well, so Riley had traded shifts at Topanga’s with Katy so that the mother could go praise her daughter. Riley would make it up to Maya the next day by helping to pack her exhibit up.

At that moment, however, she was stuck on clean-up duty, waiting for the ten minutes left until close to pass so she could go home and curl up in her pajamas. No one liked working Friday night, yet they left her to do it alone.

Riley gathered a cup and saucer, stacking her tray carefully to compensate for her incurable clumsiness. The cafe was finally empty, the lights dimmed to help lessen Riley’s growing migraine. She flipped the lock on the glass door, not caring if it was technically too early.

Her back was to the door, rinsing dishes, when a knock sounded to indicate someone’s presence. The knock was loud and an insistent, enough to make the girl sigh and turn round to see who was beyond the glass.

Farkle fucking Minkus.

“What the hell…?“ She muttered, wiping her hands on the apron tied around her waist as she quickly crossed the dining room to the door. Spinning the lock, she ducked out into the small courtyard, leaning back against the door. “What’s your problem, now, Minkus?”

To her utter shock, the boy actually smiled, “No problem at all, actually. Matthews, you are a genius!” He held up a paper, a bright A+ inked on the front, “This is my first A+ from Pace and it’s all thanks to you.”

“That’s great, Farkle!” Feeling giddy and maybe just a little lightheaded, Riley laughed as her cheeks flushed, “Well, I’m not surprised. I am the best writer in Abigail Adams, after all.”

Farkle laughed, like really laughed, and it made him so beautiful Riley lost her breathe for a moment, “And so modest, too!”

“Hey, this ego is well deserved.” She jokingly defended, playing with her hands.

Farkle nodded, “Yeah, but now that I know how to write, I have to take you down a few pegs. As your friend, of course.”

Riley rolled her eyes in exasperation, “Don’t be mean to me! I got you an A+, you should be thanking me right now.”

Farkle bit the inside of his cheek, dimming his smile somewhat, as he eyed the accusing finger Riley had aimed at his chest. Nodding, he leaned in. His voice was quiet and soft against her ears, his breath and scent sweeping over her like a tidal wave she didn’t mind drowning in.

“Thank you, Riley.”

Electric blue eyes filled with galaxies met chocolate brown eyes filled with humility and all of time and space seemed to freeze. Riley couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, could only register the fact that he had just called her ‘Riley’ for the first time ever and had whispered it so gently. Farkle didn’t know what the feeling was in his chest, just that Riley Matthews caused it and he was completely okay with being burned away by it in that frozen moment.

Her hands flew up, grabbing his face, and pulling his lips to hers in a collision that put the Big Bang to shame.

The pressure in her chest finally eased as her hands slipped, arms coiling around his neck, pulling him closer, bring him in. He was so much taller that she could barely manage the reach on her tiptoes, kissing him as fiercely as the flame igniting her cells, but she didn’t care. Not right then, at least.

Farkle remained frozen, his always-fiddling hands still in his pockets, before he seemed to realize that this was Riley Matthews and she was kissing him. 

Reanimating, he kissed her back with more emotion than he’d previously thought he was capable and would later deny feeling. Those same hands came up, leaving a trail of goosebumps down the girl’s arms until they stopped to grip her hips. He pressed her flush against him until there was no space, just clothing, between them.

A moan escaped Riley’s lips, bring Farkle crashing back to reality. And he was kissing Riley Matthews.

Still gripping the brunette’s hips, Farkle gently pushed her back and broke the kiss, the spell of it all fading away. He stared down at Riley as she kept her eyes closed for a moment, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. Once the pads of her fingers touched her lips, her eyes flew open and she stared at Farkle in utter horror.

Opening his mouth, Farkle tried to speak but Riley cut him off, “I- That was- I just-“

As she sputtered, a hand came down to push against his chest, her eyes following his own arm to where his fingers still dug into the skin showing between her jeans and t-shirt. Farkle’s gazed followed her’s and his ears turned pink as he jumped away from the girl, dropping his hands to his side and pacing a few strides away.

Tugging at his hair, he spun around, “Look, Matthews-“

But Riley was already spinning towards the door, squeaking a “Night” over her shoulder before closing and locking the cafe behind her.

Farkle stood alone in the small courtyard, trying to think, trying to comprehend the fact that Riley Matthews had just kissed him like her life depended on it and he’d kissed her back and it had felt so damn right.

And then it hit him, hard.

…He liked her.

AHHHHH! THEY KISSED! IT KINDA HAPPENED! THEY BOTH KNOW THEY LIKE EACH OTHER, JUST NOT THAT THE OTHER FEELS THE SAME!!! Did you guys like it? I really hope so! Because this chapter kind of marks the beginning of the real craziness I have planned. I hope you guys approve, tell me, I LOVE feedback!

Current Coming Soon List:

Summer Plans (A Riarkle Future Snapshot): Riley and Farkle announcing their engagement to their families There’s a Farkle Under Your Bed (A Riarkle Future Snapshot): Farkle and Riley have been keeping their newfound relationship under wraps... until Cory finds Farkle under Riley’s bed that is Fighting With The Freaking Sun! (A Riarkle Future Snapshot): Even people who are perfect for each other fight and fighting with Riley Matthews is a little like fighting the sun The Lucky Ones (A Riarkle Socialite AU): Farkle Minkus, the young and newly appointed Head of Minkus International, has just married middle-class, all-American Riley Matthews and she’s quite a packaged deal... Can Riley play her new role of perfect, wealthy housewife? The Electronic Configuration of Hate and Love (Part 4): THEY KISSED! What the hell happens now?

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