#matt's maybe you'll keep me company

[yashley]

no but if i think about the pure tragedy of the raven queen; a once revered/beloved powerful archmage at the height of her time hubrising* her way into the position of the god of death - one who had escaped terrified with their family and took upon a mantle of which would never realize itself inside them and they stare into her eyes as this mortal, this child of him and his family, seeking their throne, and the god of death realizes at last to know the final peace they brought to every living creature that ever walked their home, and yet this ambitious mortal took not only the throne but the weight of the crown, to know loss so much more intimately and eternally than even the eternal* god of death, to know grief deeper, to know true isolation. she took a seat at the table and can never escape the reality that those staring back at her will never be her family. loss and death and grief and loneliness are the only companions she will ever have. she knows. even what the gods themselves don’t. and that loneliness will never leave her. and that’s her sentence for her crime. and much like the finality of death, she can never take it back. it will never not be this. and the only mortal to ascend to godhood meets the depths of her limitations.

[endless-ineffabilities]

chemical override (9)

Ewan Mitchell x actress!reader

a/n: this was tricky to write I won't lie. I wanted it to be sweet but not unrealistic. Tension and angst filled but fair to our protagonists who have struggled through a lot. Oh well, you'll see. Enjoy!

series masterlist ▪︎ main masterlist

We find out what happened at the end of the reader's date with Matt. Can Ewan and his darling still mend their rift or will things be too far gone?

Matt sits next to you on your couch, as you enjoy one of his favourite films on the TV. He’s close – not too close that he’s flush against you – but enough that you can feel the warmth radiating from him. His arm is casually draped on the back of the seat, and his other hand often reaches up to run through his perfectly tousled hair.

As the film plays on, you can’t help but remember the intensity of last night’s kiss. Every time he turns to you, his disarming smile draws your gaze to his lips, lingering on the memory of their softness. 

The kiss had grown heated, leading him to press your back against your door. With a soft, frustrated growl, he had fished your forgotten key from your hand, unlocking your front door himself, while keeping a firm grip on your face, as if afraid the moment would fade if he let go. 

“Come here, love,” he had half-demanded, half-pleaded once you both entered the apartment. In a swift motion, he had picked you up in his arms and threw you down on the couch – the very same couch you two are lounging on right now. His touch had been intoxicating, his lips trailing hungry kisses down your neck while his hands roamed eagerly over your chest, your hips, and eventually, your backside. His muffled moans brought a heat to your core that almost made you let go and abandon all your inhibitions. Yet, as if on autopilot, or perhaps due to the image of a certain someone lingering in your mind, you pressed a hesitant hand to his chest and asked him to wait. 

His pupils were shot black, his lips swollen red, revealing the depth of his desire. He had reluctantly complied, burying his face in your neck and releasing a frustrated laugh that rumbled through his chest. You could see it - the figure of Ewan standing in the corner, arms crossed and lips curled in disappointment. Tsk tsk, he seemed to chide, leaning against the wall, judging you.

Oh sod off, you almost grumbled aloud, covering it up by running a hand down your face. This is my moment. 

And that moment came and went. The night had drifted away as you and Matt talked for hours, the connection deepening with each passing minute. He left early in the morning with a promise to return in the evening, bearing food and wine. “I just enjoy being in your company,” he had shared, and he was true to his word. 

Now, as he reaches for your bare knee, you thank your lucky stars that you chose to wear shorts.

“Where were you just then?” he asks, his smile playful.

“Hmm?” 

“You were lost to me for a moment there,” he says, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “Care to share what occupies your thoughts?”

Your phone buzzes on the side table, cutting through the tension. It’s a sudden lifeline – an excuse not to come up with some witty response that doesn’t reveal how fixated you had been on the kiss that nearly turned into something more carnal. Or how it had been the thought of Ewan that kept you from pulling him into your bedroom. 

You give Matt a look, silently telling him to hold on a moment, then you glance down at the screen which displays that all-too-familiar Ewan One-Eye, and you realise that you might need a longer while.

Matt raises an eyebrow. “Are you going to get that?” His tone is light and teasing, but something darker flashes across his gaze, something you haven’t seen in him before – it seemed like suspicion, or maybe even jealousy. 

You push it out of your mind, convinced you are just getting ahead of yourself.

You try to match the intensity of his gaze for a second before letting out a sigh. “Yeah, give me a minute.”

“A minute,” he echoes, index finger held up as if to confirm your time limit. 

With the phone pressed to your ear, you retreat into your bedroom, leaving the door open just an inch. Your hello barely stumbles from your lips before the familiar sound of Ewan’s voice greets you, rougher than usual.

“Darling,” he breathes, his voice low and raspy, “I think we need to talk.”

His tone is sombre, so unlike the usual cadence of your late-night calls, made for the usual purpose of making good on the arrangement. Those calls inevitably result in the two of you stumbling blind into the night, tangled in sheets and each other’s arms. 

“What is it?” you respond, unable to mask your nerves.

“About us,” he says, his voice slurring somewhat. Is he drunk? “We need to talk about us,” he repeats, as if he needs to convince himself just as much.

“What do you mean?” you ask quickly, getting defensive. You have a feeling that this isn’t going to end well. “What is there to talk about?”

“You know exactly what,” he snaps, unable to keep his emotions in check. “This… whatever we are.”

“Do we have to do this now?”

“Yes, now. Why not? You’re not busy, are you?”

“No… no, but – ”

“Okay then,” he presses on. “Let’s talk. I’ll start with… the fact that it didn’t sit right with me, seeing you on that date with Matt.”

“How did you see – ” The realisation dawns on you. “ – of course. Photogs.”

“Like I need their photos to know what’s happening. I know it was a date,” he spits, each word laced with frustration. 

You shut your eyes for a moment, trying not to let him get a rise out of you. “Yes, because I told you. I’m not hiding anything, Mitchell.”

“Is that supposed to make it better?” His voice rises, the bitterness sharper now. “You think honesty makes it hurt any less? You’re everywhere with him. It’s like... you don’t even care.”

The ache in his voice catches you off guard. You clench the phone, fighting back the surge of guilt threatening to overwhelm you, reminding yourself that you have nothing to feel guilty about. “What do you want me to do, Ewan? Push everyone away? Completely ignore this person who shows me genuine interest? Is that what you expect?”

“Stop,” he interrupts, his voice cracking slightly. “Just... stop.”

“You’re the one who made the rules, remember?” you snap, your own anger rising to meet his. “You were the one who said I wouldn’t be yours. That’s exactly what I’m doing. Not being yours.”

“Fuck,” he hisses under his breath, “I know that.”

“Then why are you acting like this? Like I’m betraying you?”

“Because,” he says finally, his voice raw, trembling. “Because I want you to be mine. Goddamn it, I want you to be.”

The air leaves your lungs in a single, sharp exhale, your heart pounding in your chest. You stand frozen, the words echoing in your mind, too much and too little all at once.

“What?” The word barely makes it past your lips, but it’s all you can manage.

A hollow laugh escapes him, strained and bitter. “It was stupid of me to say otherwise,” he murmurs. “I never stopped wanting you, not once. Not since you first smiled at me. I’ve always been yours.”

The confession hangs between you, finally out in the open. You let out a pained breath, and grip the phone tighter, needing to anchor yourself to something.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Ewan,” you whisper.

“Say you’ll let me fix this,” he breathes. “Say you want me too.”

Your mind reels, torn between the ache for him and the reality that Matt is waiting just outside the door. But in this moment, it’s Ewan’s voice that consumes you – the yearning in his voice, the raw confession of someone who’s done with pretending not to care. 

“I – ”

“Hey, love.” Matt’s voice cuts through your thoughts like a blade, and you see him casually leaning against the doorframe. His tone is light, but the look in his eyes says he knows something is off. “I thought we said one minute.”

“Who’s that?” Ewan’s sharp question cracked through the phone.

“It’s – ”

“Why don’t you kindly tell Ewan that it’s rude to keep you from company?” Matt approaches slowly, his voice growing more pointed with every step.

“Matt?” Ewan’s voice is icy, his frustration palpable even through the phone. “Matt’s there?”

“Hey there, mate!” Matt calls out, loud enough for Ewan to hear, his tone overly cheerful, completely at odds with the atmosphere thickening in the room.

Your stomach clenches. The situation is getting out of hand. Fast. 

“Your date was yesterday,” Ewan mutters, the pieces starting to fall into place. “Did he stay the night? Is that why he’s still there? Did you – ”

“Yes,” you blurt out, the truth tumbling from your lips before you can stop it. Panic flashes through you. “I mean, yes, he stayed the night, but it’s not what you think – ”

“I don’t think you owe him an explanation, love.” Matt’s voice drops into a low whisper, leaning into you as if staking his claim. 

Ewan’s voice darkens, the sarcasm biting. “Not what I think? Really? So... what? He didn’t touch you? He didn’t – ” His words falter, but you can feel the unspoken questions twisting the knife deeper. Did he fuck you? Did he lay in your bed, his arms around you? Did he touch what was mine?

You feel the heat rise to your face, the sting of his accusations sharper than you expected. “Listen, Ewan, we just went on a date, that’s all. He came back to mine, but we didn’t – ”

“I get it,” he cuts you off., the bitterness dripping from his words. “I understand, darling. Like you said, this is what I signed up for. Who am I to stop you?”

“That’s not fair,” you whisper. “You can’t make me feel wretched for simply going – ”

“For what? For living your life?” Ewan interrupts, his tone bitter but resigned. “I told you I wouldn’t stand in your way. So go on, enjoy it. I’ll leave you to it.”

“Ewan,” you sigh, blind to Matt’s disapproving look. “Just wait.”

Ewan’s voice is soft now, almost too soft, like he’s already slipping away. “It’s alright,” he murmurs, but the hollow sound of his reassurance feels like a knife twisting deeper. “We’ll talk another time.”

The line between you feels like it’s fraying, each second stretching longer, heavier, with neither of you able to say what you really mean.

“Okay,” you whisper, though it feels like a surrender.

“Okay,” he echoes, the finality settling in the silence that follows. 

For a few excruciating seconds, neither of you hangs up. You can hear his breathing – steady but strained – and in your mind, you see his face, that familiar frustrated pout tugging at his lips, the way his jaw clenches when he’s trying to hold something back.

But Matt is standing right there, his gaze piercing through the quiet moment you’re desperately clinging to. With a trembling hand, you lower the phone, ending the call. 

“Sorry, Smithy,” you weakly smile, in considerably lower spirits than before you entered your bedroom.

Matt studies you for a moment, his face unreadable, and the weight of everything you’ve left unsaid presses down on your shoulders. “No need to apologise, love,” he says, gently slinging an arm around you and pulling you to him. “Let’s go, you’re missing the best parts of the film.”

The next day, the events from the previous night still weighed down on you. Ewan’s words echo in your mind when you go about your routine. 

When you wake up and brush your teeth – “Darling, I think we need to talk.”

When you make your cup of morning joe and help yourself to some breakfast – “... I want you to be mine.”

When you try to focus on the scripts for season three, settling into the worn comfort of your couch. – “Say you’ll let me fix this. Say you want me too.”

By late afternoon, a call with Phia offers some reprieve. You confide in her about the recent happenings with Ewan and Matt. She alludes to being in contact with Ewan, and ‘making sure his head is screwed on straight’.

“He can’t be like this,” she passionately exclaims. “He can’t act all macho and possessive when he’s been treating you like a throwaway lay in the sack. I mean, no offence, I love you but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” you laugh despite yourself, already feeling lighter.

“You do you, my darling,” she reassures, before reminding you, “But listen, he told you his truth. More or less. I think it’s your turn to tell him what you really think, don’t you?”

“You’re right, Phi,” you admit quietly. “I guess I’ll have to start from the beginning.”

An hour after the call, you find yourself laying down on your bed. Sansa, curled up on Ewan’s side, is doing little to help. She nestles on top of his pillow, her paws digging into the soft fabric as if to anchor herself to his memory. Either it’s due to the events that transpired, or your mind is playing tricks on you, but she reminds you of Ewan with each passing day. 

Ewan, with whom she quickly decided to replace you as her favourite human the moment she got a good sniff of his hoodie. 

She meows softly, as if privy to your thoughts, as if to say that she misses him too. The little squishball of a traitor. 

Then she suddenly raises her head, in that feline manner of being alert to something that eludes you. She scrambles out of the bed, her small form darting out of the room with a purpose, her persistent meows filling the apartment. You’re about to tell her to shush, when the buzzer rings. Your heart skips a beat. Someone has been let up already – someone familiar enough to bypass the usual formalities. 

You pad to the door in your worn pyjamas, exchanging a knowing glance with Sansa, who waits by the entrance like a sentinel.

“Meow,” your turncoat companion looks at you briefly, then at the door. Open the door, you silly human, is what you’re certain she would demand if she could form the words. 

“I know, I know.” She follows close behind as you unlock your door to reveal your visitor. Sansa’s favourite person in the entire world. 

When the door swings open, there he is – Ewan One-Eye. Standing tall in his black leather jacket and worn jeans, his hair returned to his natural, darker shade you prefer on him. Your breath hitches, your gaze dropping to the delicate bouquet of white roses he holds in one hand.

“Hello, darling,” he murmurs, that familiar smile tugging at his lips. “I come bearing a white flag.”

Before you can respond, Sansa lets out an elated meow, bounding toward him like he’s a long-lost friend. Ewan snorts softly. “Hey, Sansa,” he greets her, crouching slightly to give her a small scratch behind the ears. Then, with a glance up at you, he adds, “Think you can convince your mum to let daddy inside?”

You roll your eyes, unable to fight the smile that’s already tugging at your lips. One smile from him and your resolve is at risk of unravelling completely. 

“A white flag, huh?” you ask, stepping aside to let him in. But you barely have time to close the door before he leans in, catching you by surprise with a firm kiss. It’s not rushed or desperate, but there’s a weight to it – a need that hums beneath the surface.

When he pulls back, you realise he’s slipped the bouquet into your hand. You stare down at the roses, his symbolic white flag.

“These are for you,” he says, his voice soft but insistent, his eyes searching yours. “I, uhhh, I wanted to apologise for being… you know.”

“A dick,” you tease, raising an eyebrow. “I know.”

He scoffs, shaking his head with a small grin. “Well, don’t hold back, darling. But yes, I shouldn’t have gotten on your case over… him.”

“Him?” you ask playfully. “Don’t worry about it, One-Eye. I always knew you and your uncle had bad blood.”

His eyes narrow, his smirk faltering for a second, and you watch as his gaze flickers down your body, slowly taking in the sight of you in your comfortable attire. It’s a familiar look – the way his eyes sweep over every patch of exposed skin with barely veiled hunger. Normally, he would’ve made a move by now, reached out to brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear, or run his thumb lightly across your bottom lip. But today, his gaze lingers longer than usual – right at your neck and exposed collarbones, like he’s searching for something. Or someone else's unwelcome mark.

You can practically see the gears turning in his head, the surge of jealousy he’s trying so hard to suppress. But the way his jaw tightens gives him away.

“Why aren’t you dressed?” he asks casually, breaking the silence.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh well, this is fine, I suppose.” He shrugs, eyes flashing with mischief. “You look beautiful in pyjamas… or a fucking ball gown.”

“Wait, what are you talking about?” 

“I’m taking you out. We’re going on a date, my darling.”

You openly gape at him, stunned by the sudden shift of events. “I’m sorry, did I miss your memo or – ”

“It’s a surprise,” he cheekily grins. “So, you know… surprise! And all that.” 

You cross your arms, trying to suppress the warmth blooming in your chest. “So you’re fine with taking me out on dates now?”

“Mhmm.” He takes another step, and his voice drops lower, the teasing edge in it sharp enough to make your breath catch. “I realised you deserve a little more than I’ve been giving. The bloody arrangement we have isn’t enough for me. It never has been. I’ve been too stupid to see it, and maybe I’ve got competition now, but you better believe that I’m not backing down easily.” 

He leans in slightly, adding in a sarcastic tone, “Especially not to Daemon Targaryen.”

“Took you this long to come to your senses, huh.” you say, biting back a smile. “It took another man successfully sweeping me off my feet – ”

“Okay, now,” he looks away, his lips curling. “No need to rub it in.” 

You can’t help but laugh softly at his wounded pride. “So what now?” you ask. 

“Why don’t you let me sweep you off your feet this time?” he offers. “With each and every single string attached.”

He offers something real, something more. Something resembling what you once shared, and perhaps even better this time. 

“Fine. I’ll get dressed,” you relent, backing toward your bedroom.

“Can I watch?” The boy has the audacity to call after you, his signature smirk in full display. 

“Ewan Robert Mitchell,” you click your tongue in mock disapproval, eyes narrowing at him, “why don’t you buy me dinner first?”

The cab rolls to a stop in front of a familiar modernised brownstone, and you turn to look at him suspiciously. “You brought me back to your place?”

Without a word, he slides out of the cab, quickly ambling to your side and opening the door for you. “My lady.” He offers his hand and you take it with an amused look in your eyes, still awaiting an explanation.

You ask again, “Mitchell, did you just lure me back to your apartment?”

“Yes, you’ve cracked it,” he smirks. “But don’t worry, I won’t just be seducing you into my bed. As tempting as that might be.”

He leads you inside, and when you step into the elevator, you notice he presses the button for the topmost floor – not his apartment. Your brow furrows. “What are you up to, Mitchell?”

“Patience is a virtue, darling,” he quips, his hand massaging the small of your back. 

The elevator dings to signal that you’ve reached your floor. He says, “Remember our first date? Up on that roof in LA?”

“How could I forget?”

“Well, I thought we could pay tribute to that memory.” The doors open and you’re met with the sight of a breathtaking rooftop pavilion, softly lit with hanging lights strung between metal beams, casting a golden glow that dances across the polished stone floor. It feels like an amplified echo of your first date, everything sharper and more vivid.

A small table for two sits in the centre, adorned with candles and more flowers, the atmosphere far more intimate. A bottle of wine sits in the centre, already uncorked, with two delicate crystal glasses waiting beside it. 

You blink, surprised and touched. “You did all this?”

He comes up behind you, his hands resting on your shoulders, his breath warm against your ear. “Did you really think I’d just settle for my couch and Netflix?”

“Honestly? I did,” you tease, leaning back slightly into him.

He chuckles, low and deep. “Well, I have to keep you on your toes, don’t I?” Then, more seriously, he adds, “I wanted to make up for weeks of mere stolen moments, you know?”

He moves to stand in front of you, and he asks, “Do you think I could steal a kiss, darling?” he asks, still teasing, but with an undertone of vulnerability. Do you like it? Do you approve of everything? his eyes seemed to say.

Slowly, you close the gap, your lips brushing his in the softest of touches.

It’s tentative at first, as if testing the waters, but then his hand comes up to cradle the side of your face, deepening the kiss. There’s no more teasing now, just raw, unfiltered emotion in the way his lips move against yours.

“I guess I didn’t need to steal it after all,” he whispers, a hint of a smile in his voice.

“No,” you say, mirroring his expression, “that one was all yours, baby.”

After dinner, which was nothing short of extraordinary – Ewan had gone all out, employing the exclusive restaurant from the ground floor of the building to cater the night’s meal – the two of you settle into the rooftop’s plush seating area. 

The conversation shifts naturally, easing into shared memories and playful banter. You both laugh about that disastrous karaoke night during your first press tour together, and how he barely made it through his favourite ‘For Whom The Bell Tolls’ without collapsing into a fit of embarrassed and drunken giggles. Tom, of course, relentlessly made fun of him for it, stepping into his role like an actual older brother. 

You wish you could stay in these moments, ignoring all the things left unsaid. But the weight of those things hangs heavy, demanding to be addressed.

“Listen, I have to tell you something.” The words almost catch in your throat as you search for the right way to begin.

“What is it, darling?”

“When I… When I broke things off between us, I wasn’t entirely honest with you. I know I said I wanted you to take on the film, and I did, I really did. But when I mentioned that thing about Jacob, about wanting to see where things would go with him, about feeling something for him… none of that was true. I just needed to say something that would convince you. Something that would keep you away, and hopefully change your mind about taking on the film.”

His expression turns stony. “You lied to me.”

“I lied for you,” you say, trying to keep your voice firm. “I know how important acting is for you. It’s been your dream ever since you can remember, and I didn’t want you to jeopardise that dream for my sake.”

“That wasn’t your choice to make,” he snaps, his voice tight with frustration. “I gave that up for us.”

“I never asked you to!” you nearly shout, the weight of it all spilling over. “You did that for me, I know you did. And you didn’t even tell me.”

“I would do it all again. I would make that same choice again. For you.”

“You made that choice all about me, without even consulting me,” you shoot back, the hurt evident in your voice. “If something went wrong with your career, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Knowing that I caused it.”

“You wouldn’t have,” he says, shaking his head, “But you were wrong to lie to me.”

“And you were wrong in not including me in your decision,” you retort, the back and forth bickering reminding you of playground taunting.

“So? You did the exact same thing.”

“I guess we’re both fucking hypocrites, aren’t we? Anyway, things fell into place. You’re all set for that franchise. And soon you have to play at being in love with someone else.”

“I don’t want to – ” he starts, but you cut him off. 

“You’re not quitting,” you say in finality, “Not for me.”

“Look at you now making decisions for me. How bloody generous of you,” he says venomously, all traces of softness gone from his voice. 

You stand in a huff, unable to take the arrogance he is showing you. 

The silence that follows is heavy, almost unbearable. It’s a silence filled with the unspoken frustrations and regrets of two people who thought they had control over the situation, only to find themselves in a web that is already far too tangled.

“I’m sorry,” he says, now standing close behind you.

“I’m sorry too,” you echo his sentiment weakly, casting your gaze to the night sky to find some solace and finding none. The only comfort would be in his eyes, but they might be a bit too cold for your liking at the moment. 

“I have to be in LA in a week,” he says in a flat line. “Pre-production for the film.”

“Ewan… I can’t just stand by while you have to be someone’s pretend boyfriend. We both know that these things have a way of making things messy.”

“Hmm,” he says, blankly staring out into the distance. “It's too late for me to quit anyway. Already signed on the dotted line.”

“So I guess we both know where we stand.”

“I guess we do,” he responds, his tone almost resigned.

“Matt asked me to be his date to his friend’s film screening,” you reveal, “and I think I’ll go.”

“Do you really… you and him, is that… ?” His question hangs in the air, fraught with unspoken jealousy and hope.

“I do like him,” you admit, holding back from the expanded truth, the addition of ‘but I love you’. 

“And you’re not just lying again for my sake?” he presses, eyes locking onto yours.

You glare at him. “Really?”

“Right,” he mutters, his shoulders slumping. “My bad.”

“I wish I could say I’m sorry for proposing no strings attached between us,” he starts, turning to face you, his voice tinged with regret. “Maybe I am, because I see now how it hurt you. But the truth is, I needed you – desperately. I needed you, but I couldn’t let go of my pride. I don’t regret having you, feeling you, holding you... even if it was all wrapped in that fucking mess. It was all I could manage, darling, and I’m sorry.”

You don’t even notice the stray tear that slips down your cheek, but Ewan is quick to brush it off with his thumb. His eyes also well with tears, and he smiles ruefully. 

You keep his hand pressed to your face, shutting your eyes for a moment. He leans in until his forehead meets yours, and the two of you stay there, two hearts hanging on the line.

“So you’ll go,” you say.

“I’ll be back in a few weeks,” he replies.

“We’ll be okay, Mitchell,” you say, leaning back to look at him. No matter what, in whatever capacity, you want Ewan in your life. Even if circumstances dictate that you can’t be with him. 

“Hmm.” His gaze sharpens. “And Matt? What about him?”

You hesitate, grappling with the truth that you’re not even certain of. “I can’t just push him aside. I owe it to myself to see where things go.”

He sneers, his eyes narrowing. “You think a few weeks away will change how I feel? If you want to explore things with him, fine, but don’t expect me to just back down.”

You meet his gaze with equal intensity. “And don’t think that things will just magically fall right back into place between us.”

“No.” He nods just the once. “But remember something, darling.”

“What is that, Mitchell?”

“You were my Alyna first.”

💌 next chapter

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Some notes in the margins...

When I said sweet, I hope you know that this is what I meant. Sweet.. and bitter, essentially. Like a good cocktail. A balance is needed 🍸

Well, well, well... now that everything has been laid out on the line, it's open frickin season, babies!!! Anything can happen. Woohoo 🤍

PS. this doesn't show the true outcome of THE poll (which I have already made up my mind over). That's still to be written. Watch out :)

[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (14/?)

Part Summary: Leigh reconciles with Jules and then receives news from Danny that could potentially disrupt her new beginning with you.

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 5.200+ | Warnings: Spicy phone call | Author's note: The date will happen in the next one, and then after that, 1-2 chapters to wrap up this series :)

Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII

-

The date doesn't happen as quickly as Leigh expected. You don’t bring it up again for several days after your grand, against-all-odds declaration of love.

In the meantime, you text constantly. Sometimes you call, just to ask about her day. The first time, she’s so confused, waiting for the real reason behind your call. But there isn’t one—you simply wanted to talk, and texting wouldn’t do it.

She’s rarely on the phone with anyone these days. For her, phone calls are usually reserved for urgent requests from Drew or her mom, or from companies trying to sell her something. The last time she was on the phone just to talk was with Matt, during the stretches when work kept them apart for days. Before that, it was high school, chatting with friends and boyfriends about everything and nothing.

Talking to you on the phone feels like stepping back in time. There’s something intimate about it, something that modern-day texting can’t capture. She finds herself looking forward to your calls, the sound of your voice at the end of a long, tiring, or listless day.

Days stretch into a week before you finally ask her out, armed with the when and where. Leigh will never admit it to anyone, but the wait is excruciating.

The butterflies swarm in her stomach as she lies on her bed, fresh from a shower, in an oversized shirt and boy shorts, biting at her fingernails. She's already restless by the time her phone rings at the usual hour.

She picks up almost immediately, trying to keep her voice as blasé as she can manage. “Hey.”

“Hey, Leigh,” you reply breathily, not realizing how that tone makes Leigh press the phone harder against her ear, as if she wants to hear more of it. “How was your day?”

She rolls onto her back, stretching her hand out and drawing patterns in the air against the ceiling. 

“It was okay. Nothing too exciting. How about yours?” she says.

“Pretty good. Just busy with work stuff. I was thinking about you, though.”

The simple statement sends a new wave of warmth through her. “Is that so?”

“Very much so,” you whisper, and Leigh can almost see your smile, just like the one forming on her lips. “So, uh, I was thinking…”

“Yeah?” Leigh prompts, her heart picking up speed. She hears some shuffling on your end and waits with bated breath.

“Maybe we should finally go on that date,” you suggest,  hopeful and a bit nervous. 

Leigh’s heart leaps, and she tears the phone away from her ear, burying her face into her pillow as a squeal escapes before she can contain it. Catching herself, she quickly schools her expression, tosses the pillow aside, and sits up ramrod straight.

“We should,” Leigh blurts out, still feeling her heart thumping wildly against her ribs. “When were you thinking?”

“How about this Saturday?”

Leigh pauses, mentally counting—one, two, three—before replying, “Great. I’m free then.” 

Wanting to lock in the details, she asks, “What time?”

“Could I, um, have you for the whole day?” you ask hesitantly, and then quickly realizing how it sounded, you clarify, “I mean, could we make it a day-long date? I promise it’ll be worth your while.”

Leigh hums, pretending to mull it over, but inside, she's practically screaming yes.

“What do you have planned?”

“It's a surprise,” you reply, the playful secrecy in your tone drawing a grin from Leigh. 

Unable to contain her intrigue, Leigh tries to coax out some clues. “Anything you need from me? Dress code? Anything I can help you with?”

“No, just be yourself,” you say, your voice dropping to a softer, more intimate cadence. “Wear whatever makes you feel most like you. You're beautiful in anything.”

Leigh feels a warm blush spread across her cheeks. She's grateful you can't see her, can't see how your words reduce her to a pile of mush.

“In anything?” she asks coyly.

“Or nothing,” you whisper back, almost without thinking.

Leigh nearly chokes on her breath at that, biting her lip to stifle a moan that threatens to escape owing to the boldness of your flirtation. She doesn't immediately realize she's drifted into a stunned silence until you apologize, worrying that you might have crossed a line. 

“I'm sorry if that was too forward,” you say.

Leigh shakes herself, trying to clear the haze of memories—the soft moans, the way your body yielded to her touch that night. “No, it’s... I still think about that night,” she shares.

“O-Oh?” you stammer, your grip tightening around the phone. You're driving home with one hand, thinking it would be a short call. Suddenly feeling lightheaded, you quickly pull over to the side of an empty street, realizing you might not make it home safely if you don't.

“What do you... think about, specifically?” you venture, slowly unbuckling your seatbelt.

It’s as if a switch has been flipped in her. Her mind races back to that night—the way you touched yourself under her gaze, how she guided your movements, the feel of her finger inside you while she rode your thigh. 

“Leigh?”

Leigh's breath hitches, and she feels heat spreading through her body. She kicks off the covers, finding herself lying flat on the bed, her fingers inching teasingly at the hem of her shorts. She closes her eyes, letting the memory of that night trickle into the forefront of her mind.

“I think about the way you looked under me,” she says softly, “The flush of your skin, the sounds you made, how your lips felt against mine.”

Her words send a shiver down your spine. “Leigh,” you murmur, “I-I think about that night too. How you took control, how you made me feel like I was the only thing that mattered.”

Leigh's fingers slip beneath the waistband of her shorts, teasing herself as she remembers the feel of your skin against hers. “I remember guiding your hands,” she continues, her voice growing huskier. “Watching you touch yourself, seeing the pleasure in your eyes. It was intoxicating.”

You can hear the desire in her voice, and it sends a surge of arousal through you. “I remember the way you moved against me,” you reply, your voice low. “Your skin was so hot against mine, it felt like I was on fire.”

As Leigh's fingers dip lower, brushing against the wetness between her legs, she gasps. She tries to contain it but fails, letting out a guttural moan—a sound of pure want—right into your ear. The rawness of that sound snaps you out of your lust-filled reverie.

“Fuck, are you... are you touching yourself? I-I'm so—” you start, your voice shaking.

“Don't apologize. Just keep talking. It's okay,” Leigh cuts you off sharply, switches the phone to speaker mode, and swiftly removes her panties. For a brief second, she thinks she probably shouldn't be doing this, not before the date they'd just planned. But the overwhelming urge washes over her, making rational thoughts blur into the background. She can't control herself; she needs to come, needs you to make her come.

“Tell me what you'd do,” she chunters, no longer concerned about sounding needy. “Please.” 

“Shit,” you hiss, quickly connecting your phone to your car’s speakers and then tossing it onto the passenger seat. You then adjust the driver's seat to give yourself more legroom and hurriedly begin to unbutton your jeans. Though you're embarrassed to admit that you've never had phone sex before, you're not about to let inexperience stop you. Not when Leigh was practically purring in your ear, begging for it.

“Y/N?” Leigh’s voice rumbles through the confined space of your car and you hurriedly close your eyes as you formulate a response, your head buzzing with several things you want to do to Leigh at once.

“I'd start by kissing you,” you begin, your voice low and deliberate, though you feel a bit foolish at the tentative start. “Soft, teasing kisses, tracing a path down your body. I'd take my time, Leigh, tasting every inch of your skin.”

“Where would you kiss me first?” Leigh breathes.

“Your neck,” you reply, your fingers brushing against your own skin as if you’re tracing the path your lips would take on hers. “I’d kiss right behind your ears…then down your throat, lingering at your collarbone.”

Leigh’s breathing becomes more ragged, and you can almost feel her anticipation. “And then?”

“Then I’d kiss my way down to your breasts,” you say, your own arousal building. “I’d take each nipple in my mouth, sucking gently, then harder, feeling them harden against my tongue. I’d circle my tongue around them, flicking the tip, just like so.”

Leigh listens, her breaths becoming shallow, her body trembling with need. She closes her eyes, lost in the sensation, in the vividness of your description. She traps a rosy bud between her two fingers, mimicking the rhythm you describe, the tension in her belly coiling more tightly.

Meanwhile, your own hands are busy on your body. Despite the cramped space even with the car seat reclined, you manage to slide two fingers inside your pants, rubbing your clit, while your other hand tweaks your nipple.

A soft moan escapes Leigh’s lips, and you know she’s imagining your mouth on her. “I’d keep moving lower, kissing down your stomach, tracing the lines of your body with my tongue. When I finally reach your thighs, I’d spread them open and kiss the inside, so close to where you want me but not quite there yet.”

“I’d breathe you in,” you murmur, “taking a moment to just enjoy the scent of you. Then I’d lick, just once, a slow, teasing lick from the bottom of your slit to the top, tasting how wet you are for me.”

“Fuck,” Leigh groans wantonly, her fingers undoubtedly mirroring your words on her own skin. You can almost see her hand moving against her clitoris, fingers collecting her own wetness and spreading it all over until her inner thighs are glistening with it.

“I’d part you with my fingers,” you continue, your own breath coming faster now, “and then I’d dive in. I’d lap at you, my tongue moving in slow circles around your clit, feeling it swell under my tongue. I’d drink you in, Leigh, tasting every drop, getting lost in how sweet you are.”

“Don’t stop,” Leigh pants, and you can hear her movements quickening, the unmistakable sound of wetness and skin in frantic motion, as if she's placed her phone near the epicenter of her impending climax.

“I wouldn’t,” you promise. “I’d suck on your clit, gently at first, then harder, using my tongue to drive you crazy. I’d slide a finger inside you, curling it to find that perfect spot, the one that makes you see stars. I’d keep licking and sucking, adding another finger, thrusting them in and out, matching the rhythm of my tongue. I wouldn’t stop until I felt you trembling, until I heard you crying out my name as you came.”

Leigh’s moans grow louder, more desperate, and you can almost see her, writhing on her bed, lost in pleasure. “Y/N, I’m close,” she gasps.

“I’d be looking up at you, watching your face as you c-come for m-me,” you say, your voice faltering as you slide a finger inside yourself. “Fuck, Leigh, baby, come for me.”

It's the endearment and the mental image of your deep brown eyes, brimming with hunger and worship, that sends her spiraling into ecstasy.

“Oh god, Y/N!” Leigh moans, her back curving as an intense orgasm overtakes her.

You’re not there yet, but you close your eyes, letting the image of her climax burn into your mind.

Leigh lies there, basking in the afterglow, her body still trembling with the remnants of her orgasm. She’s about to check in on you, perhaps return the favor, when the front door opens and closes with a bang.

“Mom? Leigh?” Jules yells from the living room.

Panic surges through Leigh. She scrambles to her feet, hurriedly pulling on her underwear and shorts. The phone slips from her grasp, landing on the bed, the line still open.

Leigh reaches the top of the stairs, breathless and flushed, just as Jules appears at the bottom, looking up with a mix of worry and curiosity. 

“What's going on?” Leigh asks, wincing as she feels the stickiness between her thighs. She silently curses, wishing Jules could have shown up after she had a chance to shower.

“Where’s Mom?” Jules demands, her eyes scanning the hallway. “And Logan?”

“She took him with her for a grocery run,” Leigh replies, coming down the stairs. “Is something wrong?”

Jules sighs. “I was just worried. The door was unlocked, and I couldn’t find anyone. Thought something might’ve happened.”

Leigh relaxes a bit, though the adrenaline from moments before still courses through her veins. “It’s fine. I just didn’t realize you’d be coming home tonight,” she says.

“Yeah, about that…” Jules trails off, tilting her head toward the kitchen with a meaningful glance. 

Leigh follows, her bare feet whispering against the wooden floorboards. Striving for nonchalance, she asks, “You hungry?” Her hand hovers over the fridge handle, betraying none of her recent distractions.

Jules stops in her tracks and turns back to Leigh. “I’ve been thinking,” she starts, hesitating slightly. “I’d like to move back in.”

“That’s… great,” Leigh says flatly, unsuspecting of her sister’s announcement. She catches the sharp drop of Jules’ brows and hurries to cushion her words. “I mean, we never actually wanted you to go. You’re welcome back anytime, you know that.”

Jules' eyes sharpen, her lips pulling into a tight line. “But only if we talk first.”

Leigh nods, a hard lump forming in her throat. “Of course,” she says.

-

They end up ordering take-out when Leigh's nose wrinkles at the unmistakable stench wafting from the numerous boxes of leftovers crammed in the fridge. She can't recall how long they've been there, only that their rightful place is now the trash bin.

It's Jules who picks the restaurant, and Leigh bites her tongue over the choice of Vietnamese. The last time they'd ordered from there, Jules had barely picked at her food, pushing noodles around her plate more than eating them. Leigh tries not to think too much about it.

The dining table is overtaken by a clutter of takeout boxes, each one wafting a blend of lemongrass and ginger into the room—a scent so rich you could almost scoop it out of the air. Leigh watches her sister with that look—the one that's all walls and wariness, like she’s guarding the last piece of herself she can’t afford to lose.  Jules, on her part, looks a little restless, her fingers skirting the edges of a white takeout box like it might offer some kind of sanctuary.

“So, talk,” Leigh prompts,  twirling her chopsticks to pick up a fresh vegetable roll and dipping it into peanut sauce.

Jules takes a breath, a deep one. When she meets Leigh’s eyes, it’s with a resolve that seems to pull her upright. “Fine, since I’m the one who kicked this off, I’ll lead. I’m sorry. I know I tossed around some pretty nasty words last time I stormed out, and I meant them—then. But calling you a sociopath? That was me going off the deep end.”

Leigh’s face hardens, a quick, involuntary tightening of her features as she recalls the sting of that last confrontation. She pushes her noodles around her box, the chopsticks clattering softly. Jules waits, the steam from her own untouched meal rising and disappearing into the air.

“I appreciate your apology, Jules, really, I do. But you can't just throw words like that around, whether you mean them or not. Words stick. They fester,” Leigh says, meeting Jules’ gaze squarely. 

Jules looks down, tries to mask the hurt that flickers across her face, biting down on her lip. 

Leigh continues, “When I criticize you, it’s not meant as an attack. I’m not someone who likes to beat around the bush, especially not with family.”

The word ‘family’ hits differently this time—at least for Jules it does. Her heart aches at the mention, dragging up memories of a recent painful conversation where she had confessed to feeling like an outsider in her own family.

“Sometimes it's not about what you say but how you say it,” Jules mutters.

Leigh looks at her expectantly, clueless and curious at the same time.

“Not everyone can handle being talked to so bluntly. Not everyone’s as frank as you, okay? Sometimes it feels more like you're pushing me away instead of trying to help.”

Leigh goes quiet, letting the silence stretch just a bit before she nods. “You’re right,” she concedes, the words slipping out almost thoughtfully. It’s almost surprising, the lack of her usual quick-fire defense. “I think I got so wrapped up in the idea that being honest meant being harsh. I can work on that. I should work on that.”

Jules blinks, taken aback by the calm acceptance in Leigh’s tone, the ease with which she receives the criticism. It’s a side of Leigh she hasn’t seen much of—this reflective, almost gentle version. It's a welcome change, a sign of growth that feels both sudden and deeply necessary. 

“I didn’t expect... I mean, I’m glad you took that the way you did,” Jules says.

Leigh gives a small, almost sheepish smile, a rarity on her usually stoic face. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately. About how I say things, not just what I say. It’s been... a lot to unpack. But hearing this from you, it really helps. It does.”

She means it. Ever since you’ve stubbornly eased your way into her life, she’s done a lot of thinking. She’s done a lot of grieving too, realizing that if she had seen the changes that needed to be made earlier, things might have been different for her—for Matt. She’s learned to accept that life is always going to be filled with regrets, but she’s grateful now to recognize that she still has the chance to change, even if it came a little too late.

Better late than never, right?

She looks at Jules, her eyes earnest and a little bit haunted. “I’m sorry, Jules, for everything I said, everything I made you feel. I love you. You’re my sister, always. I know I can be too hard on the people who mean the most to me, but I’m going to try, really try, to balance that love, to understand how you need to be loved.”

Jules sits frozen, speechless for the first time. Their confrontations usually spiral into heated exchanges until one of them storms off. She hadn't expected this to be so... civil and mature. 

So unlike them. 

Finally, she manages a small, shaky smile. “Yeah, this... this went way better than I played it out in my head.”

Leigh’s laughter is a quick splash of reprieve, a burst of surprise at how well things have turned.  But it fades as quickly as it bloomed, her smile slipping into a frown as she catches the shadow creeping over Jules’s face. 

“What is it?”

Jules fidgets, nervously twisting a napkin between her fingers. “I... need to ask you something that’s been eating at me for months... well, almost a year now. And I need you to be brutally honest with me, Leigh. Can you promise that?”

Leigh feels a slight tremor of worry, but brushes it off and nods. “You’re scaring me, but sure. I promise.”

“Here we go,” Jules says, taking a deep, faltering breath. “Remember that night? When I was so drunk you had to come and get me? It was the last night Matt was... before he... you know. Do you ever resent me for it? I did such a horrible thing, robbing you of his last moments because I couldn't keep it together—”

“You know I’ve never blamed you for that. Not during our last fight, not when Matt died, just... never, basically,” Leigh says, leaning back on her chair.

“But some part of you must have hated me, because—”

“No—”

“—maybe he needed someone.”

Leigh just shrugs and denies it which only frustrates Jules even more. “No, Leigh,” she tries, “I need you to listen to me. I was very drunk that night—”

“You were really drunk a lot of nights and you’ve done a lot of crappy things,” Leigh states frankly. “But none of them had anything to do with Matt’s death.”

Jules swallows hard, her eyes stinging. “But what if it did, though?”

Leigh, clearly frustrated, responds, “You really think that?”

Jules looks down at the table and stays silent.

“Jules,” Leigh sighs, searching for the right words to reassure her sister. Eventually, she opts for honesty. “Look, I can’t tell you how to feel, but that’s not how I feel. Okay?”

It takes a second longer for Jules to say, “Okay.”

Leigh stares intently at her sister, noting the way Jules's eyes avoid contact. She knows the soft okay from Jules isn't a signal of acceptance or peace, but a white flag in a battle mostly with herself. Jules is grappling with her own guilt, a feeling that has little to do with Leigh but still consumes her. Leigh wishes, not for the first time, that her sister could see the truth as easily as she reads into misconceptions. It’s the same thing she wishes for herself.

Feeling slightly vindicated to have aired her feelings, Jules turns her attention back to the food spread between them. She reaches for her bánh mì, grips it firmly, and takes a hearty bite. As she chews thoughtfully, she manages a muffled, “Thanks, Leigh.”

Leigh just offers a small, understanding smile.

As they continue eating, Jules suddenly grins, crumbs dotting the corners of her mouth. “You're probably wondering why we're having Vietnamese tonight,” she says.

Leigh raises an eyebrow, curious despite herself. “I was wondering.”

Jules chews quickly, then, with her mouth still full, blurts out, “Well, I've got one more piece of news for you.”

-

It’s almost midnight when Leigh returns to her bedroom. 

As soon as her eyes land on her cellphone, carelessly tossed on the sheets, guilt floods her. She remembers she didn’t even say goodbye to you. Horrified, she realizes she left you hanging, high and dry.

She grabs her phone, her heart pounding in her chest, and checks for any messages from you. The screen lights up, but there are no new notifications, no missed calls.

“God, I’m such an idiot,” she mutters to herself, running a hand through her hair. She takes a deep breath and dials your number, her fingers trembling slightly as she presses the call button.

It rings once, twice, and then you answer. “Leigh?”

“Hey. Sorry, did I wake you?” Leigh asks, picking up on the sleepiness in your voice.

“No, not at all. What’s up?”

She lets out a relieved sigh before rushing into an apology. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you like that. Jules came home and then I—”

“It’s okay, Leigh,” you whisper soothingly, grateful that she called you back at all.

That doesn’t alleviate Leigh's guilt, though. She racks her brain for a way to make amends. 

“Can we… Can we pick up where we left off?” she suggests hesitantly.

You let out a kind chuckle. “I’d like that. But maybe we should save it for… later. Honestly, that was a bit reckless, Leigh.”

Leigh's brow furrows, even though you can't see it. “What do you mean?” she asks.

“I want to do this right,” you explain earnestly. “If taking things slow helps us build something real, then I’m willing to wait.”

“Well, clearly patience hasn’t been my strong suit either,” Leigh admits, her lips curving into a grin at your attempt to be chivalrous.

“I know,” you whisper, traces of a smile audible in your voice. “But I didn’t want you to think that’s all I’m after. And believe me, I want you—it’s driving me crazy.” 

Leigh runs her tongue along her teeth, feeling the familiar tug of desire low in her belly.

“I just don't want us to get so caught up in the physical stuff that we miss out on really getting to know each other,” you say.

“Me neither,” Leigh agrees, tucking the blankets up under her chin, pretending it's you keeping her warm.

“While I obviously enjoyed our…conversation earlier,” you say, pausing to maintain your composure. You can still hear the echo of Leigh's moans in your car, the memory likely to revisit you on sleepless nights in the coming days. “I'm really looking forward to diving deeper into things, like your favorite book, on Saturday.”

“Maybe I'll bring you a whole list,” she teases.

“Guess I’ll have to find that library card I signed up for then,” you joke.

“A library card, huh? Dork,” she retorts affectionately.

You feign a wounded tone, “Ouch.”

The laughter that follows is light and easy. You sigh contentedly and say, “I should probably call it a day. I’ve got an early start tomorrow.”

“Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Leigh.” I love you. “See you on Saturday.”

The call ends with both of you reluctantly hanging up, smiles fixed on your faces as you lie back. Leigh is an addictive rush, coursing through your veins like adrenaline. You've excused yourself out of habit for sleeping early, but you doubt you’re going to get much sleep tonight.

-

Leigh nudges open the door to the crowded bistro tucked near the Basically News office. It’s the thick of lunch hour, and the place pulses with the chatter of midday patrons. It’s exactly the sort of public, non-intimate setting you'd want for meeting an ex. She weaves through the crowded room, spotting Danny at a corner table, his focus tethered to his phone as he absently taps on the screen.

“Hey,” she greets, sliding into the chair opposite him.

Danny looks up, a hint of irritation flashing in his eyes. “You know, I could’ve just dropped by your house later.”

Leigh shakes her head. “It's better to meet somewhere public from now on.”

His expression darkens, and he scoffs. “Why? So Y/N doesn’t get jealous?”

Leigh leans back, crossing her arms. “Yes,” she says, deliberately blunt.

Danny's jaw sets, a muscle twitching slightly, but he doesn't press the issue. Instead, he reaches into his bag and retrieves a folder, sliding it across the table toward Leigh. “Matt’s publisher wants to release his comic posthumously,” he starts, “but there are strings attached.”

Interest sparks in Leigh's eyes as she opens the folder, her eyes quickly scanning the contract. 

“What kind of strings?” she asks.

“They want either you or me—or both of us—to join a group of artists to promote the comic—”

“That sounds fair and exciting,” Leigh interjects a bit too soon.

“—across the country,” Danny finishes, clicking his tongue in mild annoyance. “It’s a tour, Leigh.”

Leigh's fingers stall at the edge of the paper, the reality of the proposition sinking in. 

“A tour?” she echoes.

“Yeah,” Danny nods. He flags down a waiter and orders a beer. “Early next year. Matt’s comic is in the final stages of editing, and it should be finalized in about three weeks. They’re aiming for a release in February, and the tour will follow right after that.”

“That sounds soon,” Leigh remarks. “How long is the tour supposed to last?”

“About two months,” Danny replies. “We'll be traveling across different states, attending conventions, signing autographs, meeting fans. It’s a big commitment.”

“We?”

Danny shrugs, the hurt briefly flickering across his face before he can hide it. “Yeah, we. Though I'm not sure I can join because of the new job in Vegas. There's a good chance you might be doing this solo.” His attempt at nonchalance doesn't quite cover the sting of her reaction—how distant the concept of 'we' seems to her.

Leigh chews on her lip, her thoughts drifting to her own commitments—her column, her classes at the Beautiful Beast, and you. The idea of leaving all that behind, even for just a few months, feels like too great a sacrifice.

“It’s a lot to take in,” she says, pushing the folder back towards Danny. 

“He deserves this kind of recognition,” Danny implores, as if suggesting that Leigh thinks otherwise.

“I'm aware,” she snaps back, “I just need a bit of time to think it through, to sort out the schedules and everything.”

Danny raises his hands in mock surrender, indicating he doesn't want to escalate the argument. But Leigh knows him well enough to see through it—it’s a tactic. Danny has a way of guilting her into decisions without saying much, letting assumptions and insinuations simmer until Leigh finds herself making the choice he wants.

Leigh stands up, slipping the folder into her bag. “I’ll let you know as soon as I can.”

“Fine,” Danny says with a tight nod. “Just don’t drag your feet. The publishers are waiting on an answer soon.”

-

Saturday comes soon, but not soon enough.

All week, relentless rain showers have scattered across the days, and though the forecast promises sunshine today, Leigh wakes up to the soft splattering of rain against her window. The gentle patter seeps into her consciousness, easing her from sleep. The room is filled with a cool, damp scent, and is bathed in a soft, diffused light as the morning sun is muted behind thick clouds. 

Leigh gropes blindly beneath the pillow to her left, retrieving her phone and squinting at the time. It’s 9:30 AM. She blinks, trying to shake the sleep from her mind, and her heart drops slightly as she notices five missed calls from you, each one timestamped progressively: 7:45, 7:55, 8:15, 8:30, and finally 8:45.

Guilt twists in her chest. She sits up, brushing sleep from her eyes, and dials your number back, hoping she hasn’t missed something important. 

You answer on the first ring. “Hey. Everything okay?”

Leigh sighs, running a hand through her tousled hair. “Yeah, I'm sorry I missed your calls. I just woke up. What's going on?”

“It’s Saturday,” you say rather awkwardly. “We had plans to meet this morning, remember?”

Leigh sits up, suddenly fully awake. She’s been looking forward to Saturday all week, eagerly anticipating this date. The realization that she slept through most of the morning fills her with shame. She’s been so restless the past few days, and it was only the gloomy, sleepy weather last night that finally allowed her to get some decent rest.

“I’m sorry if I disturbed your sleep, but since it’s an all-day affair, I thought we could start with breakfast,” you continue, breaking the silence that had been filled only with Leigh’s soft breathing.

“Where are you now?” she asks.

You hesitate for a moment before replying, “I’m actually parked outside your house.”

Fuck. Shit. Damn it.

“Okay, okay. Sorry, uhm, can you give me five minutes?”

“Take all the time you need.”

Leigh ends the call and throws off the covers, scrambling to get dressed. She rushes to the bathroom, splashing water on her face and running a brush through her hair, muttering curses under her breath. Her hands tremble slightly as she picks out an outfit, the anticipation of the day ahead propelling her forward.

As she heads for the door, a small smile forms on her lips. This might not have been the flawless beginning she imagined, but just knowing you’re on the other side makes it perfect already.

[sturniololuv08]

That Feeling (Matt Sturniolo Smut)

Song: All We Ever Do Is Talk - Del Water Gap

Tumblr: @danifaithisme

Your stomach was in knots as you quietly tip-toed down the carpeted hallway. The boys finished their first show tonight, and everyone was crashed out. Except for Matt. He text you asking you to keep him company in his room. You went to knock on Matt's room door but it swung open before you could even make contact. He held his finger to his lips signalling for you to be quiet. You stepped inside the room and walked over to the bed.

"So what do you want to do?" You looked around the room that was identical to yours.

"I don't know. I just can't sleep after a tour show. I don't know how Nick and Chris do it." He sat on the bed next to you. The weight shifted you into his side. He didn't move away though.

"You are just lucky I was still awake." You joked. He chuckled and smiled down at his lap.

"Yeah." There was a weird silence looming in the air. Something that didn't happen often with the other boys.

"So is there anything specific you want to talk about or maybe we could watch TV." You proposed an idea to end the awkwardness.

"Let's watch TV." He rested his back on the headboard of the bed and started flipping through the hotel channels. You lay next to him and yawned. "You tired?" His voice was soft and sweet.

"Yeah." You nodded slightly.

"Oh." He sounded disappointed. "You can go back to your room if you want." He was being considerate.

"It's fine. I don't mind. I'll sleep tomorrow when we are traveling." You knew you could easily take a nap when they were doing their show so you weren't worried about staying awake for your friend. The silence ensued again. Matt sunk lower onto the mattress to be lying facing you. You were lying in the cliche sleep position staring directly into his awake blue eyes. He started to smile a little. "What?" You asked him.

"Nothing." He lightly moved his head in a 'no' motion.

"Tell me." You begged and shoved him a little. He moved backward from your push and moved back into position a little closer to you than before.

"I'll only tell you if you agree you'll do it before I tell you." Now you sunk backward unsure of what he could be talking about. You thought about it for a minute. What would be the worst possible thing he would want you to agree to? You settled on the idea of the two of you skinny dipping in the hotel pool.

"Okay. I agree, I'll do it." You figured you could at least talk him into letting you still wear a bra and panties. Matt wasn't very adventurous so talking him down from a crazy unthought-out plan wouldn't be too hard.

"Nah. You won't do it." Now your curiosity was peaking.

"Just tell me." He laughed and shook his head 'no'. "What's the worst that can happen? I say no?" You pressed on. He finally stopped moving and looked at you again. You saw his eyes flicker between your own.

"Kiss me." His voice was soft again.

"What?" You were caught off guard. Matt was one of your best friends. Along with Chris and Nick, he was off-limits in your mind.

"Kiss me." He leaned in. You lifted your head slightly and pecked him quickly. You dropped back down onto the mattress. He stayed propped up on his left forearm looking at you.

"What?" You challenged.

"Kiss me again." The corner of his lips curled into a half smile.

"Matt..." You sighed out. Instead of talking, he leaned down to hover over your lips. You turned your head and lifted it up again to touch your lips together. This time more than a peck. He suctioned your lips together by taking your breath away. Suddenly you weren't tired anymore. He hesitantly moved his hips to be right up against yours. You nodded your head not breaking the kiss that he was still engaged in. He used his right hand to push your hips down flat on the bed while moving his to be on top. The kiss finally broke apart. "Matt..." You slightly panted. Your lips were tingling.

"You said you would agree to do it." He said a little smug. You looked all over his face for any fake intentions, but there were none. You nodded nervous to speak. Matt was your best friend you shared everything. You shared food, laughs, opinions, and sometimes even fights. You never thought about sharing your body with him, until this very moment. "I'll go slow." He whispered ducking down to continue kissing you. He slowly ran his skinny fingers down your shirt until he reached the bottom where your skin was touchable. He traced little circles just below your belly button on your hip bone. He was teasing you. You decided there was no reason to be nervous about sharing yourself with your best friend and to his surprise you shimmied your pajama pants down. His eyes were a little wide at your actions.

"What are you waiting for?" You giggled a little feeling the same giddy sensation you felt sneaking through the hallway.

"Fuck." He whispered. You weren't sure if you were supposed to hear it or not, but you did. It made you excited. He held himself up on his forearm and with his free hand shoved his grey shorts down. You couldn't see anything because his shirt was hanging off his chest and blocking your view. You weren't sure what you were about to feel. He lowered himself down and you felt his tip start playing with your shallow depth. You couldn't explain how or why but you wanted him inside you desperately.

"Matt." His gaze shot in your direction. "Please..." You begged for him. His gaze softened realizing you didn't want him to stop. He didn't want to hurt you after all you were his best friend. He pressed a little inside you feeling how wet you were for him. He licked his lips as he slowly filled you up. Once he reached full capacity he rested on both of his forearms. He wasn't moving yet. Just lying there inside you so your body had time to adjust. You felt him pressing against your walls stretching you out. "Oh god." You now realize how big your best friend is. The pressure subsided but before you could tell him he must have felt it too because he slowly started pulling out. He didn't pull too far out because he still wanted to make sure you could handle him. You arched your back and looked up at the white ceiling. "Oh my god." You moaned from the pleasure he brought to your whole uterus. Your body was shaking for him. His pace sped up in a rhythm. He wasn't talking dirty or praising you. Matt was the quieter brother so it wasn't unlike him to be quiet now. Not that you ever thought about your best friend in bed with you. The only noises he was making were soft grunts every time he pressed himself back into your cervix. He was focused. You kept moaning louder and louder. The faster his rhythm got the harder it was for you to be quiet.

"Shhh." He didn't want anyone else to hear you. You figured it was because he wanted to keep this encounter a secret but it was actually because he wanted your sounds all to himself.

"Matt, I'm cumming." You grabbed the back of his neck and gripped him tight. The feeling of your canal tightening on his pulsating cock pushed him to climax inside of you. You mixed your juices together simultaneously without realizing how careless you both were until it was too late. Matt collapsed his body on yours and stayed inside of you until he was soft enough to slip out. He rolled next to you and the silence ensued. You just fucked your best friend.

"What time is it?" He asked ruining the moment a little. You grabbed his phone from the nightstand and clicked the button.

"It is 3:45." You yawned again realizing how late it was.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Matt looked over at you with his hair sticking to his forehead in little chunks. He looked so innocent it was hard to deny him.

"Yeah." You smiled. You weren't sure if he meant tomorrow as in during the day or tomorrow night for round two but you were kind of excited to find out. The next day was just like normal constant busy tour work and traveling with Chris and Nick oblivious to the special moment you shared with their brother. That night in your new hotel room you got a text. It was Matt asking for 'company.' You giggled to yourself as you snuck through the halls to his room. You both continued this cadence every new city, every new hotel, every night a new position with Matt. No one knew a thing.

And then the tour ended. Everything changed.

Every time you saw the boys Chris and Nick were normal but Matt was different. He would still talk to you but it was short. If you made a joke, even one he had previously laughed at in the past, he wouldn't laugh now. Nothing was the same. You never once thought your friendship would be ruined by the secret rendezvous you guys were having. If you had known you would have never committed to fucking him every night.

"Chris the Uber is here." Nick stood up looking at his phone.

"Where are you guys going?" Matt looked panicked they were leaving without him.

"Chris wants to go over to Brooklyn's." They were leaving Matt and I alone. Once the door was closed we made immediate eye contact.

"I'm going to my room," Matt said flat. He stood up and left you alone in their living room. You decided this was your chance to confront him. You barged into his room and he looked at you dumbfounded. "What are you -"

"What happened?" You asked not having full questions ready to go.

"What do you mean?" He played stupid which made you mad.

"You and me in the hotels every night... What happened?" You were fine just being friends. It just had to be stated that was all you were ever going to be. You were tired of getting the cold shoulder constantly.

"Oh, that..." He still didn't answer you.

"Yeah, that." You pressed. "We never talked about it after the tour and when we do talk you seem like you hate me."

"I don't hate you." His face softened. You were his best friend he could never hate you but you didn't feel that way. After some silence, he spoke more. "I guess I just didn't know what it meant. I didn't know if you still wanted to be friends." He shrugged.

"Are we ever going to feel that way again? Are we ever going to be best friends again?" You just wanted that feeling back. You wanted Matt back. After some more silence, you got the answer you so desperately craved. Matt looked up at you through his brown moppy fringe and flashed you a devilish smile. You couldn't help but beam knowing exactly what he was thinking.

[drysdaleknieslee]

Matthew gives off very much husband vibes.

Could you maybe do a fluffy one where it’s the reader first night with him in there new home as a married couple

-🦵🏻

My first fluff ☺️ I look forward to this as he's usually written in a smut setting. And you know I'm delusional so this is gonna be as sweet as I can make it.

Hope you like it 🩵

This day is the day some describe as the best day of your life. And it was. Family and friends gathering for the union of two people who swear to love each other forever. Today was your day. The weather suited well today on a lovely morning in France.

From the moment you saw yourself in your dress to the moment Matthew saw you and burst into tears as you walked down the isle with your father.

Your vows were sweet yet impactful. Neither one of you could keep it together. You tried so hard not to ruin your makeup but by then, you didn't care. This was the day you were marrying the love of your life and you didn't regret a single thing.

The reception was a party. Absolute riot. Of course Brady and Matt were the life of the party, other teammates cheering us on as we entered the venue. Safe to say everything went off with a hitch. The first dance, to the food, the cake, endless drinks (of course upon Brady's request), all the way to the honeymoon.

"It feels good to have some piece and quiet for the first time today." you tell Matty after bidding the goodbyes and finally getting into the limo.

We leave for our official honeymoon tomorrow. Tonight we wanted to enjoy each others company before the trip to Fiji.

"Your telling me. I'm glad we stopped Brady from requesting Gangnum Style for the fourth time in a row."

We pulled up to the hotel, all giddy and giggling with each other. Happy to be alone. With your husband. You, his wife. You let out a yelp as Matt picks you up bridal style after unlocking the door. He kisses your cheek softly before placing you gently on the bed. The yawn you let out afterwards displays the events of today finally hitting you hard with exhaustion.

"Ready for bed? Mrs. Tkachuk?" he asks undoing his tie. "Most definetly. You'll get my dress for me?"

You move your hair out of the way for him to unzip your dress and remove your necklace. Not before placing a gentle chaste kiss at the base of your neck. Nothing sexual, just tender affection.

He wraps his arms wrap around your waist as you look out along the France skyline, admiring the city and the sound of bustling people below.

"I love you Matthew Tkachuk," you say turning around in his arms, wrapping yours around his neck.

"And I you, Mrs. Y/N Tkachuck. Now and always."

[flower1622]

What the future can hold?

Chapter 43

Clarisse was starting to get worried. Percy and the kids didn't return. 

- I think I need to use the bathroom. I'll be back - Clarisse says.

- Alright! - Mary says and nods. Clarisse stands up and leaves. She goes to the bathroom and sees the same scene as Percy. She follows the drops of blood on the floor. She arrives in the forest and hears someone struggling. She runs to the sound direction and finds Percy under a monster. He was completely beaten up and his leg and arms were bleeding. Clarisse didn't think twice and jumps into the thing. They roll in the ground and stop next to a cliff. Clarisse starts punching "the thing" and continued fighting the monster, even when it cuts her leg pretty deep making it hurt a lot. The beast was on top of her now and Clarisse, while still fighting, looked at Percy. He was trying to get closer to them evenwounded. There was blood on his mouth. Clarisse smiled at him and right at that moment, Percy knew what Clarisse was about to do. She rolled the monster again pushing him out of the cliff, taking her with it. Clarisse tries to hold on to the cliff, but the thing still continues holding her leg and breaking it. Clarisse screams in pain. She moves her leg pretty hard, knocking the monster out of her body making it fall. Clarisse's hand was almost letting go, but Percy arrives on time and holds her hand.

- You have to let me go, Percy! - Clarisse says

- I can't - Percy says while he tries to hold on as much as he could. 

- You can. You have so much to live. Spend time with your mother, your sister and your friends. Maybe create a family in the future. Live a normal life as you always wanted - Clarisse says.

- Please, Clarisse. Stop saying all these things. Both of us are gonna leave out of here alive - Percy says desperate.

- We both know that is not the truth. You are weak, Percy. You can't hold on for too long....and I'm not Annabeth. If you fall, I'll never forgive you. Never. - Clarisse says angry.

- Please, don't say that, Clarisse - Percy says sad

- It's okay, Percy - Clarisse says trying to look optimist.

- No, don't be stupid Clarisse. You never ran away from a fight, so don't do it now - Percy says.

- I'm not running away. Sometimes there are things we can't win, Percy. Both of us are pretty bad hurt. We both lost many blood. We are out of strength here. If you don't let me go, we'll fall - Clarisse says.

- But I can't lose another friend - Percy says.

- But you'll have to...because life it's this...we are born, we grow up and die. You can't stay stuck in the past forever....I know it hurts. I lost Silena, remember? But I moved on...because that's what she would have wanted me to do....and right now, it's what I want you to do. You can't stop your life for a person...because maybe a future little girl is just waiting to be born....and you are the reason for it to happen.... Percy, if you wanna make me happy, just do it okay? Tell the people that I died fighting. Take care of yourself and your family. You may think you are alone in this world, but you are not...many people care about you and even admire you...trust me...when you were on missions, all the campers only talked about you and how you changed their lifes for better. They need you, Percy. Be their friend. Be their mentor. Be their ally. But the most important of all...just be yourself. Live the life you want now...because we never know the day of tomorrow - Clarisse says

- Clarisse... - Percy says.

- And please do me one last favor - Clarisse says

- What is it? - Percy asks.

- Take care of my mother and Matt. She will be so devastated with me gone...she is always alone by herself. She only has Matt as company...so could you visit her sometimes, please? - Clarisse says

- Of course I would visit her. I already consider her as my second mom. I'll try to keep her and Matt safe - Percy says

- Thanks. That means a lot to me - Clarisse says

- You don't need to thank me - Percy says.

- I know. But I wanted. You really are an awesome guy, did you know that? I'm grateful to meet you, Percy Jackson. But now you must go - Clarisse says.

- What? - Percy asks

- The kids are still in danger somewhere inside of this forest and they need you - Clarisse says.

- But I can't leave you - Percy says.

- Yes, you can. It"s too late for me anyways......Maybe, just maybe in other lifes....who knows right? - Clarisse says

- What? What are you talking about? - Percy asks.

- I love you, Jackson. Just continue being yourself, alright? - Clarisse says.

- What...? - Percy asks.

Clarisse shakes her hand, getting out of Percy's hold, and she falls.

- CLARISSE! - Percy screams and cries. He couldn't see Clarisse anymore because of the fog that was starting to form.

[lillunna]

-Maybe In Another Lifestream-

Biggs ONESHOT

TW: spoilers for ff7 remake and rebirth and ANGST mainly for the loveless scene in rebirth. uses lyrics from "no promises to keep"

note: most all my works are for AFAB since its what i know what to write but if requested ill try, also im not the greatest writer just thought biggs needs more love this is also just a test oneshot so short. im terrible at spelling and gammer expect the worst

songs listened to while writing:

lacy by olivia rogrigo

almost (sweet music) by hozier

no promises to keep

my star (pealeaf ver)

better off without me by Matt hansen

Fantasmas by Humbe

"I won't say that it was fate, I won't say that it was destiny."

I sit next to Tifa and hold her hand as we watch Aerith perform her song using the VR, both Tiffa and I teary eyed after watching jessies performance for the first time. As I listen to to her voice i think back to my time with jessie, wedge, and Biggs.

"Till the day that we meet again, Where or when I wish i could say but believe, know that you'll find me."

I remember how I first met Biggs back in sector 5 in the abandon church, I waited for Aerith as small child came in and kept me company till he came in I remember the relief that washed over his face when he saw the child safe. He even walked me to my home in sector 7 since he was headed in that direction, there was never a moment he wasn't a gentlemen. Already being acquainted with Tifa just made us closer.

Seventh heaven two months before the pillar fell

"You gonna make or are you gonna continue to make us all suffer through your puppy love crush on Biggs?" Jessie teases me as she watches me watch biggs I sigh at her teasing jokes knowing she means well "jess its not that simple I don't wanna ruin our friendship" I say quietly right as Biggs and wedge walk towards us. Oh how i wish i just told him the truth but how could I know what would happen.

Seventh Heaven one month before the pillar fell

Wedge had locked Biggs and I in the Seventh Heaven storage closet, Biggs stood over me trying to give me space but given the lack of room in the closet, close proximity was inevitable. "uh sorry I can't really move any further" biggs says as he places his hands against the door my back was to "no its fine I understand" i say as I avoid making eye contact. It had been 10 minutes since wedge left us in this awkward state "Hey I was wonderi-" right before Biggs could finish Wedge pushed the door open sending biggs and I forward falling to the ground when i open my eyes i see biggs face inches from my own and myself on top of biggs my face immediately flushing before I can say anything i here the click of a camera and I turn to see Jessie holding a camera "JESSIE!" both Biggs and I yelled. I still can't believe Jessie got Wedge in on her plan.

Biggs apartment one week before the pillar fell

After a rough run with some fiends I sit on Biggs bathroom counter as he cleans some scraps on my knees when he gets to a deep gash on my thigh he tried to get a shard of glass causing me to yelp in pain. "hold on a little longer pretty girl" Biggs says focused on the gash "pretty gir- FUCK BIGGS!" I try to question him but he pours a little alcohol on the wound causing me bite my lip hard as he finishes patching me up he looks at my now bleeding lip like he wanted to say something but stops himself. Why didn't I say something?

Topside two days before the plate fell

Jessie handed us parachutes one for cloud and wedge to share and one for Biggs and I to share saying that she feared I'd get lost and that Biggs would watch out for me, maybe this was her way of trying to make up for that awkward dinner with her mother and having Biggs act like her boyfriend. After we jumped down I can't help but admire the beautiful view "Its gorgeous" I quietly say and I hear Biggs agree not knowing we were talking about different views. After we finally land it was just our luck we were tangled in the parachute after a few minutes of struggling we lay there laughing at our predicament it was like an unspoken agreement to just enjoy the moment. What I would give to relive that night.

Sector 7 right before the plate would fall

It was chaos, Tifa had gone to wall market Cloud was still missing everyone was running all neighborhood watch members and Avalanche were either evacuating people or going to the plate control tower. Biggs sees me and grabs me and pulls me close "evacuate as many people as you can and get away from here." he says as he looks at me before grabbing the back of my neck and pull me into a kiss i immediately kiss back fearing the moment he pulls away. When he pulls away I look at him understanding he didn't think he was coming back to me "promise me you'll make it out safely?" I say to him as he looks at me with sorrow in his eyes but doesn't respond "Biggs please promise me!" I can't help but raise my voice in desperation he closes his eyes before silently nodding "I promise I'll make it back to you always" Biggs ran towards the control tower and I lost a piece of myself in that moment knowing the truth. I didn't see him again till I followed Cloud up the tower I fell to my knees next to him as Cloud left us be, tears welled in my eyes "hey pretty girl don't cry" Biggs says in a hushed tone as he brushes the tears away. "you promised Biggs you can't leave me alone, we can get you out of here please" I say as i place my hand on his he only gives me a sad face and shakes his head before kissing me one last time and he calls to one of the neighborhood watch men telling them to get me to safety I refuse and try to pull away from them as they try to take me away from Biggs. "Im not leaving you alone Biggs! please just a little longer" they comply with my request till they decide we can't stay any longer they forcibly remove me taking me to safety. I should have stayed with him.

"take my hand and believe we can be together evermore."

Once Aerith Finishes her song green mist appears and in the corner of my eyes I swear I see him, I look again and see Biggs standing there smiling at me. "still my pretty girl." as i take my glasses off I smile sadly as tears drip down my face "always and forever your pretty girl"

So Uh yeah my first ever oneshot mind you this is prob badly written because its almost 3 am and my laptop crashed while I was writing it so i got a little lazy about editing

[hgranger93493]

Content: Part 1.

Summary: You are getting ready to be married in a week. Everything will go smoothly, right?

Warnings: Angst, slight fluff, language.

Pairings: OC x reader; Sam x Jess; Dean x reader(eventually)

Wordcount: 5470

A/N: This will be a mini-series set in AU. Hopefully you'll like it.

------

You slide the door open to your balcony and stepped outside to get some fresh air. After today, you needed a couple of drinks with the fresh air. You sighed deeply and looked towards the dark sky as the clouds moved around the full moon. You kept playing with the pack of cigarettes in your hand and flicking the lighter off and on. You haven’t smoked since college. The last semester was stressful to you and picked up this habit for a few months. Not that it helped much, but you were on the verge of needing some relief today. You were startled when you heard a deep voice to your left.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

“Holy shit! You scared me.” You squeaked with your hand on your chest.

A deep chuckle left this person’s throat and the moonlight shined on their face at the same time.

“Dean? What are you doing here?”

Dean slowly got up from the patio chair and walked towards you. Dean visits his brother Sam once every month. You met him a few times since Sam moved next door a year ago. You, Sam, and Jess were friends from college. Although you all weren’t thick as thieves, you enjoyed their company from time to time. Having your both balconies side by side was fun. You hang out with them and have cookouts during summer and exchange dishes whenever possible. The main reason you didn’t hang out much with them was because of Matthew. Your fiancé. You met Matt during your freshman year and you both have been dating since sophomore year. Matt never liked Sam and Jess as they weren’t up to his “standards”, whatever that meant. So, all of you never ran in the same circles, but you hung out with Jess whenever possible.

Dean leaned on the short wall separating the balconies and smiled up at you.

“Just visiting Sam. Missed my little brother”

“Pssh! He ain’t little Dean.”

Dean laughed a little and eyed the cigarettes box in your hand as if asking the same question again.

“Yeah, I don’t smoke. Just needed something to relieve the stress.”

“Are you okay?”

It has been a while since someone asked that question. You really didn’t want to talk, but you didn’t want to be rude to Dean. He was always sweet and kind.

You sighed a little and replied “Just the stress of planning the wedding is getting to me.”

Dean cleared his throat and asked “Wanna talk about it?”

“Thanks Dean, but I don’t want to bother ya.”

“You are not a bother, sweetheart. I’m hear to listen if you need to vent.”

You put the cigarettes and the lighter aside and took a step towards him.

“Not sure where to start, but the ‘small’ wedding we were supposed to have turned out into a full-blown production.”

“Yessh, that does sound stressful. Anybody helping you with it?”

“Well, my fiancé was supposed to help me, but his mother took over the reigns for him and she wants nothing and everything in the wedding. Today we were at the cake tasting and she insisted on having a 5-tier cake and her favorite flavor. Who needs five tiers of cake? We went back and forth and she finally got her way like she always does.” You sighed a little after your vent. “Maybe it is something small, maybe I am over reacting”

“No, you are not, it is your wedding and you and your fiancé should have a final say. Not the monster-in-law to be.”

You chuckled a little at his jab at Matt’s mom. You never said it out loud, but she was indeed a monster. She sat you down after the engagement and brought you up to speed on how women in their family must keep their husbands first and told you the literal “rules” about having some traditions at the wedding. Since Matt was their only son, she wanted an extravagant wedding. You told her that you didn’t believe in spending all your life savings on one party. You wanted to save money as much as you can so you can use it for down payment on your future home. But she put her foot down and told you as a bride, your family and you need to do everything to make the wedding the best day of her son’s life. She knows your parents passed away when you were sixteen and she tries to make me feel like an orphan when an opportunity strikes. I mean who does that?

You were lost in thoughts when you heard Dean call you again.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm”

“You, okay?”

“Yeah, sorry I have a lot on my mind. With the wedding planning and budgeting”

“You don’t have to apologize Y/N. Just wanted to make sure you are ok.”

“Thanks Dean. Maybe I need a hot shower and a good night’s sleep.”

“Yeah, you should get some rest.”

“Alright, thanks for talking me out of smoking. I really was debating.” You laughed a little.

“Well, I’m glad to be of help. Good night sweetheart.”

You smiled a little and waved Dean good night and walked back inside your apartment.

Dean took a deep breath and went back in to Sam’s apartment.

Sam was in the kitchen getting dinner ready. He looked up when he heard the door to his patio open and close.

“Were you talking to someone?”

“Yeah, Y/N.”

“Oh, how is she doing? I barely see her here since she got engaged to that douche.”

“Douche?” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, not sure what Y/N sees in Matt, but Jess and I never liked him. He was a total d-bag in college. He once asked what our dad was ‘worth’ to determine if we could be friends.”

“What? That is weird.”

“Yeah, he only wanted to be friends with guys who were loaded and could spend daddy’s money.”

“Oh boy, what is Y/N doing with an ass like that?”

“I don’t know Dean. She always kept to herself in freshman year. Jess and I met her in calculus class and never had many classes together since we were all in different majors. She is pretty smart, I tell you.”

Dean smiled and replied “Yeah, that she seems to be.” He kept thinking how beautiful she is too. She had a pretty smile.

Sam sensed something and said “She is engaged Dean. Don’t even think about it.”

“Seriously Sam? You think that low of me that I would hit on an engaged woman?”

“Just warning ya.”

“Yeah, whatever bitch.”

“Jerk.”

Jess walked in the front door at caught the end of their conversation.

“Don’t start you too. I want to have a nice and pleasant dinner.”

“He started it!” both said and the same time pointing to each other.

Jess rolled her eyes and walked over to Dean to give him a hug and went over to Sam and pecked his cheek as a greeting.

“So, what were you guys talking about?”

“Y/N” Sam replied.

“Oh, what about her? Is she ok?”

“Oh yeah. Just caught her on one of her bad days, I guess. She is stressed about the wedding planning.” Dean replied.

“Oh” Jess replied a little lost in thought.

“Everything okay babe?”

Jess jerked back from her thoughts and replied “Yeah…yeah” and she smiled at her boyfriend. Sam knew she was hiding something, but didn’t bring it up.

“So, are you guys invited to the wedding?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, Y/N sent us both the invite and unfortunately, we had to decline since the wedding falls during mom and dad’s anniversary weekend. With the planning and everything, it would be a tight squeeze to attend the wedding and drive to Lawrence.”

“Oh yeah, that reminds me. We need to finalize the seating tomorrow so I can let Ellen know.” Dean reminded Sam.

“We can take a look at it tomorrow morning after breakfast?” Sam asked.

“Sounds good to me.”

The three finished their dinner ended the night with some light laughs and heavy liquor.

That night Sam and Jess were getting ready for bed and Sam decided to bring up what Jess was thinking about when they were talking about Y/N.

“Hey babe, what were you thinking when we were talking about Y/N’s wedding”

“Oh, it is nothing. Maybe I didn’t see it correctly and imagining things.”

“You didn’t see what correctly?” Sam asked curiously.

Jess sighed a little and replied “The other day I think I saw Matt with someone else when I was hanging out with Melissa and getting drinks at the club.”

“What?” Sam asked bewildered.

“Yeah, maybe it wasn’t him.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, because this person was heavily making out with the woman who he was with.”

“It could have been Y/N.”

“I thought so too, but that night when I returned to the apartment I ran into Y/N while she was taking out trash and she was telling how she was stuck at home all day working on a deadline.”

“Oh” Sam said. “Maybe it wasn’t Matt. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was, but for Y/N’s sake let’s hope it was someone else.”

“Yeah, me too babe. It was a dark club and loud. Maybe I am wrong. But in all honesty, she deserves someone else. I never liked Matt.” Jess said scrunching up her nose.

“Yeah, me neither.”

“See that is why I like you.” Jess replied with a grin.

“Geez, I thought you like me for other things too” Sam wiggled his eyebrows and pounced on Jess making her giggle loudly.

Sam and Jess were interrupted when they heard three bangs from the adjacent room.

“Hey! The walls are pretty thin around here. You are scarring me for life” Dean yelled.

Sam and Jess giggle quietly and yelled “Sorry” at the same time.

Dean huffed a little and closed his eyes to try and sleep. For whatever reason his mind kept going back to Y/N and how he wanted to hug her and take her worries away after seeing her today. He cannot get the image of her face that was lit up with the soft moonlight earlier.

“Stop it, Dean. Stop it. She is getting married.” He murmured to himself and started counting backwards to fall asleep. Some how he fell asleep and let the darkness consume him soon.

------

Next morning you woke up well rested. You are lucky you worked from home. You had a few things to take care at work and then work on wedding stuff. Your manager was very understanding that you needed cut back a few hours everyday to go meet vendors and stuff during weekdays to finalize the stuff for the wedding.

You took a quick shower and made a small breakfast for yourself and texted Matt reminding him again about meeting the florist today at 11:30 and to come pick you up at 11:00. He didn’t reply, but you assumed he saw the message. After working for a few hours, you were about to take an early lunch. You put on some jeans and a simple t-shirt to get ready to go to the florist. It was 11:00 and your phone rang. It was Matt.

“Hey babe. You downstairs?”

He groggily replied “Hey. I just woke up and saw your message. I don’t think I can make it to the appointment. Can you go by yourself? I mean it is flowers, what would I do there anyways?”

To you say you were furious was an understatement. Who even wakes up at 11AM on a weekday? Especially when you are planning your wedding?

“Seriously Matt? We both were supposed to go to the florist and finalize the flowers and center pieces. It is not just my wedding it is our wedding.”

“You are making mountains out of mole hills Y/N. It is just stupid flowers, who cares?”

“Who cares? Are you kidding Matt? Don’t you care about this wedding? I mean I wanted a small wedding, but your mom insisted on making extravagant.”

“Don’t bring my mom into this Y/N.” He replied with a tone that was almost scary.

“Well, she chose the cake yesterday. Maybe she should just choose the flowers as well.” You replied snidely.

“You are lucky you have my mom helping you. You have no friends and no family. Be grateful”

That hurt. You were on the verge of tears and you cleared your throat.

“I didn’t mean to be ungrateful; I just would like you to participate in this wedding planning. This is how we make memories. We only have a week left.”

“Well now I am not in the mood to come anyways, I’ll ask mom to join you.”

“No, that’s okay. I’ll take care of it. You don’t have to bother her.”

“She’ll come. Drive yourself there.” Matt replied and cut the call.

Those tears finally spilled. You were always alone after you lost your mom and dad. They were the biggest support system in your life and loosing that was horrible. You always thought meeting Matt was a blessing. He kept you active socially basically dragging you to every party and event around college. Over the years his friends became your friends, his life became your life and now his family was going to be yours. You were skeptical towards him and his motives, but didn’t want to question too much about it. You were getting a family again, so you bent anyway Matt molded you.

You picked yourself up and drove to the florist. Matt’s mom Martha was already there and she had a sour face. You sighed deeply and walked towards her.

“Matt told me about the conversation you both had earlier.” No hi or hello.

“Umm, what do you mean?”

“You shouldn’t force Matt to do things he doesn’t like. That is not OK” she hissed.

“Martha, I didn’t say anything. I just wanted him to join us to choose flowers since this is our wedding.”

“Well, you got me. So, let’s get to it.” She replied and got to work.

Peonies. She picked peonies. I mean they are beautiful flowers, but you wanted to have sunflowers in your bouquet. They were your mom’s favorite. You wanted her to be with you in some way on your special day. It is not traditional, but you thought you could at least win this fight. But you had no strength left in you to argue, so you let Martha pick everything.

After the appointment you drove back to your apartment. Glad that you and Matt don’t share a place. Otherwise, you would have seen his mom all the time. You need a break this evening. Get your mind off the planning so you decided to call you maid of honor, Lisa. Matt introduced you to Lisa in college. Matt and her dated the freshman year, but they both didn’t “click”. They remained friends and hung out all the time. Lisa became your impromptu best friend.

You rang Lisa. After a few rings she picked up the phone. She almost sounded as if she ran half a mile.

“Hey Lisa. How is it going?”

“Hey Y/N. What’s up?”

“Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out this evening. Maybe grab a few drinks and get a bite?”

“Um no, I can’t. My sister is visiting. She just broke up with her boyfriend and is upset and she needs me.”

“I am so sorry to hear that. How is doing now?”

“Huh...yeah yeah..she is fine.” Lisa replied hastily.

“Okay, hope she feels better. Maybe we can get together later this week. Go over some details about the bridesmaid dresses and set an appointment for a final fitting?”

“Yeah..yeah that sounds fine. Listen Y/N, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.” She cut the call even before you could say bye.

You looked at the phone puzzled and got back to your work.

At 4, you promptly shut off the laptop to cook something. You didn’t eat lunch since you lost your appetite after meeting you mother-in-law to be. You decided to cook something and were in the kitchen ready to start your prep when you heard a knock at your door.

You were hoping Matt cooled down and stopped by. When you opened the door, you were met with Jess’s big smile. You always loved hanging out with Jess. She had such an infectious smile and attitude. She was a caring person in general.

“Hey Y/N! Is this a bad time?”

“No, no not at all. Come in.” You invited her in.

She gave you a tight hug and you wrapped your arms around here and squeezed her. You needed this after the whole florist fiasco. She broke the hug, and you both walked to your couch to sit down and have a chat. A few niceties were exchanged.

“Sam and I were wondering if you are free this evening?”

“Oh? Why?”

“We feel bad for not being able to attend your wedding and we were wondering if we can take you out for dinner and drinks this evening. Maybe your fiancé can join us too?”

What a relief. You need some company this evening and Jess is a literal angel at this point.

“Sure! Let me call Matt and check with him.”

“Okay, let’s say 7? We can get an early start on the drinks.” Jess laughed.

“You read my mind sister. 7 sounds good.”

Jess got up to leave the apartment and turned around. “Oh! Dean is also going to join us. Is that okay?”

You smiled a little wider hearing Dean’s name. Jess didn’t miss that.

“Of course! The more the merrier, right?”

“Yup! Alright, see you then.”

“See ya.” Your spirits were lifted. You called Matt to tell him about the plan. Praying that his mood is set after the call you had earlier today.

“Yeah?” He answered his call.

“Hey Matt, are you busy?”

“Not really, what’s up?”

“Um, you remember Sam and Jess, right? My neighbors. We went to college with them.”

“Yeah, what about them?”

“They wanted to hangout this evening. Get some drinks together. They feel bad that they can’t attend the wedding. They invited us both. They want to leave at 7. Want to come over to my place?”

Matt sighed “Listen Y/N. I never really liked that Sam guy. He is thinks he is above everyone because of his brains. I don’t want to hang out with them. You shouldn’t either.”

You were taken back a little. Sam was the most down to earth guy you ever met. Even in college. Not sure why Matt thinks that way.

“But Matt, they want to take us both out for drinks and dinner. They are nice people. You should give them a chance.”

“Y/N, I said what I said. I don’t want to go. Also, I made plans with my ma. I will let you hang out with them. Just this one time.”

Seriously? You never asked his permission.

“I don’t need your permission to hang out with them Matt. They are kind enough to invite us for dinner and this is how you talk?”

“Do I need to remind you of our talk from this morning?” He asked gruffly.

“Whatever.” You said and cut the call. You weren’t going to apologize when you have done nothing wrong. You were looking forward to this evening with Jess and Sam. And you were not going to lie that you were looking forward to spending some time with Dean as well. He always seemed nice and caring.

---

General POV:

Jess walked into their apartment and found Sam and Dean on the couch going over some details about their parent’s anniversary party.

“Y/N is free this evening. She will join us for drinks and dinner. I told her we will leave at 7.”

Dean perked up hearing this. And Jess didn’t miss that. She smirked a little walking to the fridge to get a drink.

“Matt is also going to join us.”

Sam groaned. “I hate that guy.” He muttered.

“Tough luck, you better behave this evening, Samuel.” Jess scolded him.

“Yeah yeah. I will if he will.”

“Sam, we invited them, so play nice. It is just one evening.”

“Yes ma’am” Sam replied.

Around 6:45, Y/N heard a knock at her door. She was expecting Jess, but when she opened the door, she saw Dean. He was wearing a simple flannel and jeans and boy, did he look good. She wiped those thoughts away and smiled at Dean.

“Hey Dean! I am almost ready. Need a few more minutes. Come in.”

“Hey. No rush. Just wanted to talk to you before we left.”

Y/N looked a little puzzled.

“Oh? What do you want to talk about?” Y/N was putting on her ear ring using the mirror in the foyer. Her back to Dean.

“Um, wanted to see if it was okay with you and Matt for me to join. I can drop if you guys feel uncomfortable.”

Y/N turned back to face him. She didn’t understand where this was coming from.

“Dean, that is totally fine. Thanks for checking with me. It will be fun. Also, Matt is not joining us this evening. He is otherwise occupied” Y/N said as she rolled her eyes and turned around to put on her other ear ring.

Dean was relived to know that Matt wouldn’t join. After what Sam told him, he didn’t really care much about that douchebag either. He didn’t ask her more about why Matt couldn’t join them.

“Ok, I am ready. Ready to head out?”

Dean took a few seconds to admire her. She dressed simple, but she made her outfit look amazing.

“Yeah, let’s go see if Sam and Jess and ready too.”

---

The evening started out great. All four of them hit a few bars and drank and danced their worries away. Especially Y/N. She let loose. Jess challenged Y/N to drink to every drink she had. And that turned into a friendly competition and both women were very tipsy by the time they hit their third or fourth bar. Sam and Dean soon realized that it was time to get some food to soak up the alcohol.

Jess and Y/N were giggling all night and just having fun. Dean was amused every time he looked at Y/N. He wished he met Y/N sooner because he would have asked her out. No doubt. But we can’t always get what we want, right?

They wanted to make their way to a restaurant to end their night and eat something. Y/N and Jess wanted to drink a little more and dance and kept calling the men party poopers.

“Ladies, you both need to eat. We had been drinking for 3 hours now.” Sam scolded.

“Booo!” Jess yelled.

Y/N parroted her and yelled “Yeah, Booooo!” towards Dean and broke into a fit of giggles.

Sam and Dean both sighed and somehow convinced them. Y/N understood and reasoned with Jess.

“Girl, we need food. I am hungry. I am sure they serve wine there.” She winked.

“Aww, I don’t want the night to end. I never get to hangout with you. Which is weird. We were friends in college and now we are neighbors and we never did this before.”

Y/n felt bad. Matt always made plans for her and never let her hangout with Sam and Jess. Sensing this Jess straightened up.

“Sorry, that was uncalled for.” Jess replied groggily.

“No no, don’t apologize. We will do this again. I promise” Y/N told Jess and gave her a hug.

This conversation warmed Sam and Dean. Dean especially. He knew it was Matt that held her back, but he was glad Y/N was letting some steam out and spending time with Jess. It looked like she needed this.

At the restaurant, they got a booth. Sam and Jess sat on one side and Y/N and Dean on the other. Y/N felt the warmth coming off Dean. They reminisced over the night’s events and were having fun. During the conversation Dean rested his arm behind Y/N. She could smell the cologne coming off Dean. Not thinking she turned a little to face Dean and smiled.

“You smell so good Dean.” She said almost giddily.

Dean had a smug look on his face and with a grin replied “Thank you, darling.”

Sam cleared his throat as if warning Dean again.

Dean immediately realized the closeness and took his arm off the seat and moved a little away from her.

Jess got up to go use the restroom while you three were finishing your food. She got back to the table a few minutes later very sober and a little flustered.

“We need to go home. Now” she said to the table.

“Babe, what is the hurry? We still haven’t gotten dessert” Sam replied confused. You and Dean were confused as well. Jess looked at Sam and subtly pointed at something behind her with her eyes. Sam followed her eyesight to where it was pointed. Sam tightened his jaw.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Sam replied.

Dean and Y/N were confused, but obliged. Sam and Dean went to the front desk to settle the check. Y/N felt the need to use the bathroom.

“Guys, I will be right back. I need to use the restroom.”

“No Y/N wait..” Jess stopped her, but it was too late.

Y/N turned around and immediately got a glimpse of Matt at one of the booths. Y/N was not sure, but she squinted her eyes and he wasn’t alone. He was with Lisa. Your maid of honor. They both were cozied up in the booth facing her and even before she could realize what was happening, they started making out heavily.

The air got knocked out of Y/N. The blood drained from her face. Jess immediately came to her side to hold her. Sam and Dean saw what was happening and walked over to the girls. Dean was worried to see Y/N in such state. He looked at what she was looking. He saw two people playing tonsil tennis with each other. He looked at Sam for an explanation.

“That’s Matt.” That was all he needed to hear. He went to Y/N’s side and tried to get her to talk. She was honestly scaring him. She was in shock.

“Sweetheart, hey! Look at me. Let’s get out of here. Okay?” He was trying to get to her.

-----

Y/N’s POV:

Your blood was boiling. Internally you were screaming and you wanted to pounce on Matt and Lisa. But you were unable to move. You weren’t blinking, trying to make sure you were seeing things right. Dean’s voice broke you out of your trance. You looked at Dean.

“You…you guys got my back?” She asked shakingly.

Sam and Jess looked at each other not understanding what you were asking. But Dean immediately understood.

“Absolutely” replied Dean. That is all you needed to hear.

You straightened your stance pulled the engagement ring from your left hand and marched over to their table like a woman on a mission. Dean, Jess and Sam followed you. You made eye contact with Matt and Lisa.

“You two. Outside. Now!” You said in a calm voice and slammed the ring on the table and turned to walk away.

Dean was right beside you and opened the door for you. You didn’t want to make a scene inside the restaurant. A lot of people were having a good time and it wasn’t fair to them.

Once the cool air hit your face, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. Sam and Jess immediately came to your side and Dean never leaving your side.

“Are you ok Y/N?” Jess asked. Honestly your calmness was scaring her.

You smiled at her and shook your head yes.

Matt and Lisa showed up a few minutes later walking towards you. Lisa cowering behind Matt. When they were close enough. You looked at Matt.

“How long?” was all you asked calmly.

“Y/N…” Matt started to say.

“HOW LONG?!” you yelled at this point.

Matt flinched at your tone. Honestly everyone around you flinched, but you didn’t care.

Matt put his head down and mumbled something.

“What?” you asked as you couldn’t hear.

“Over a year” Matt said a little louder. You felt like someone slapped you. You were mad at him for doing this, but you were even more mad at him for how he manipulated you and gaslighted you even after he started the affair. The nerve on this guy. He was fucking someone else behind your back. Your maid of honor no less.

“Then why did you propose to me?” You yelled.

Matt put his head down unable to answer. And that answered your question.

“Oh god, it was proposal out of guilt isn’t it?” you questioned. When he didn’t answer you yelled “Isn’t it?”

Matt shook his head and lifted his head to look at you.

You took a deep breath and pointed at him.

“I want you to come get your shit from my apartment tomorrow. They might be in the hallway, or near the dumpster. I don’t know yet.” You told him. Spitting venom.

“And you” you pointed to Lisa. “I trusted you. You could have done the right thing and told me. But you didn’t. And you even lied to me. You volunteered to be my maid of honor. I never want to see your face ever again. Understood?”

Lisa nodded her head and cowered even further behind Matt.

“Heh, I should have realized what a manipulative bastard you are Matt. But I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. Ignored all the red flags. But that one is on me, isn’t it?” Your voice waivered at the end.

Dean got beside you and placed a hand on your lower back. Telling you silently he got you. Jess placed he hand on your shoulder and Sam was right behind you and Dean. They got your back and you didn’t want to spill any more tears for this son of a bitch! Literally.

You turned to Dean.

“I want to go home Dean.” You said quietly.

“Of course, sweetheart.” Dean gave Matt a dirty look and guided you out of there. Jess and Sam silently followed.

You were walking slowly and started to shiver a little. Dean put his arm around your shoulder. You were glad he was there. You slowly brought your hand around Dean’s torso from the behind and snuggled into him. For warmth, for comfort, for support. And it felt good. Dean did not complain one bit.

“I got you Y/N. I got you.” Dean reassured and kissed your temple.

How you got home was a mystery. You got into your apartment and sat on the couch silently. Dean sat beside you holding you. Sam went to get some water for you. Jess crouched to your eye level. A sad smile on her face.

“How are you feeling?” Jess asked you.

“I want to be alone.” You replied. Jess looked at Dean and then Sam. Sam shook his head a no, not comfortable leaving you alone in this mental state.

“Y/N I don’t think it is good for you to be alone at this time.” Jess tried to assure you.

You shook your head no and said “Please I just want to be alone. With my thoughts. Please” you pleaded with her.

“But…” she was about to put her foot down when Dean stepped in.

“How about I stay with you Y/N?”

You turned your head to him “You don’t have to Dean. It’s ok. I won’t do anything irrational, if that is what you all are worried about.”

Dean felt bad. “We don’t want you to be alone in case Matt comes back. Doesn’t he have a key?”

You nodded your head yes. “See, just for your safety I’ll stay here. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

For some reason you felt better knowing someone will be close by. “Okay” you replied silently.

Jess smiled and said “Good.” She squeezed your knee as an assurance. “That’s settled. When you wake up tomorrow come straight to our place for breakfast.” That was an order. You nodded your head yes.

“Heads up, this guy snores like a bear.” Jess said pointing her thumb at Dean.

“Hey! I don’t snore.” Dean defended.

You chuckled a little. Thankful for them trying to cheer you up. You took Dean’s hand in your hand and looked up and Jess and Sam. “Thanks for having my back today. That wasn’t a pleasant situation to be around.”

“We always got your back Y/N.” Sam assured you with a smile. Dean squeezed your hand and said “I got you. Always.” Silently.

[gutsfics]

Starting the New Year Right

Fandom: Red Carpet Diaries Pairing: Thomas Hunt x Avalon (M!OC) Length: 618 words Rating: Teen Warnings: Mentions of sex (nothing explicit) and smoking

Prompt: "I'm not ready for the new year." "Don't be silly. New year, new you." "I don't want a new me, I want the same me and the same you." @choicesrcd2022 @promptnonny Summary: Thomas and Avalon get ready for the new year together and discuss what comes next

"Are you ready to go?" Avalon asks, checking his outfit in the mirror one last time.

Thomas heaves a sigh, slipping his wallet and a pack of cigarettes into his pocket. "I suppose."

"Oh, now what's that supposed to mean? Do you not want to go to the party? We could always stay home... ring in the new year by ourselves..." To emphasis what he's saying, Avalon pulls Thomas into his arms, his chest to Thomas' back and his hands at his waist.

"That does sound nice..." Thomas leans into Avalon's arms with another sigh, this one softer and more content. "But it's not the part I'm unhappy with."

"It's not? Did something happen?"

"No, it's just..." Thomas frowns and shakes his head.

"What?"

"I'm not ready for the new year."

Avalon hums quietly, amused. "Don't be silly. New year, new you."

"I don't want a new me," Thomas grumbles. "I want the same me and the same you."

Avalon can't help but let out a laugh.

Thomas turns slightly to look at him, frowning.

"Sorry, sorry! But what "same you" and "same me" are you wanting? You and I have changed so much since we first met, and, honestly, I'm hoping that so long as we keep pushing each other to be better, we won't ever stay the same for too long."

"I suppose that makes sense..." Thomas relaxes back into Avalon's arms again.

"I love you, Darlin, and I love the person you've become, and I love watching you grow into the person you'll be next. No matter what this next year holds for us, I'll always love you."

"I love you, too..." Thomas takes one of Avalon's hands into his own and brings it to his lips, gently kissing his knuckles. "And what do you think the new year will bring?"

Avalon considers this for a moment. "Sex. Plenty of it."

It's Thomas' turn to let out a chuckle, and he turns in place, draping his arms over Avalon's shoulders. "Oh? What makes you say that?"

"Well, I know us, baby, and I know how... excitable you get on T days. And given our track record, it wouldn't take a genius to figure out how much suckin' and fuckin' happens under this roof alone." He pauses, brushing his thumb against Thomas' lower lip. "Plus your immediate response to me saying that was to press your thigh against my dick. So there's that too."

"You've got me there." Thomas adjusts his stance so he's not rubbing up against Avalon so hard. "...What else do you think will happen?"

"Oh... Maybe we'll both stop smoking so much." He lets out a small laugh. "Honestly though I say that I'll stop every year and it never happens."

"If that's what you think, then maybe we should stay home tonight."

"And why is that?"

"You and I both know that once we get to Matt and Macy's house, I will stand in a corner for all of ten minutes before going outside to chainsmoke for the rest of the party, and you'll join me shortly after when you get overwhelmed."

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

"If we stay here and..." Thomas unbuttons the top few button's on Avalon's shirt. "Enjoy each other's company, we'll share a single cigarette afterwards before going to sleep, as opposed to smoking a whole pack in one night."

"Mmm... that does sound nice..."

"Doesn't it?" Thomas slides a hand onto Avalon's chest, under his shirt, and leans up to kiss his jaw. "What do you say? Start the new year off right with me?"

Avalon puts his hand on the back of Thomas' head and pulls him in for a kiss. "I'd love that."

---

TAGS

RCD Appreciation Week: @alj4890 @hopelessromantic1352

Fic of the Week: @choicesficwriterscreations

[lulupen2023]

My very first BellDom Fic 14/23

If you're reading, I hope you're laughing

Summary:

Do you want to meet a Matthew who sees conspiracy everywhere (oh wait, this is not big news!) and is so fond of his trolley that he treat it like a sort of puppy? Do you want to meet a Dominic in love with… himself (and with Matt, too, of course!)? And do you want to meet a Chris who wants to prove to the world he's the most masculine guy ever… but is unavoidably attracted by every… female hobby? This is what you'll find in this story, among lots of BellDom and… craziness!

Summary of the chapter: None. It's just way too crazy to sum it up!!

Well, this chapter surely doesn't help develop the plot... supposing that there is a plot!

It's the most stupid, demented chapter I've written so far, that's why I hope you'll find it as funny as possible!

But mostly, among all the stories I've written so far, I think that this is the best title I have ever found for a chapter and I'm kinda proud of that, lol!

Chapter XIV: Huey, Dewey and... Goofy.

As punctual as a Swiss watch, even more than that, Muse arrives to the airport, ready to take the flight to Chicago.

In order to will the time away, Chris has sneaked in a bookstore and after wandering for a quarter of an hour he seems to have found what he was looking for.

As a matter of fact, with a lot of interest, he flips though a book named '101 ways to understand a woman. And yet they won't be enough!'

Obviously, he still has to make his Kelly forgive him after their last phone call and he still keeps ignoring why, of course.

Dominic has taken company to him, but just due to the simple reason that the store has plenty of mirrors, too.

After trying unsuccessfully to mirror himself in the windowpane with the schedule of all the flights, he has just given in, searching for an easier and more comfortable way.

Matthew hasn't followed them, in order to look after their suitcases, mostly because a certain one of them needs extreme surveillance.

Yeah, because if on the one hand he's happy due to the fact that Dominic this time hasn't mistreated his trolley running madly with it everyway, on the other hand it seems that now the blond's utter indifference towards it is even more damaging.

As a matter of fact, he has seen him forsake the trolley in an undefined point of the airport in order to follow Chris.

Instinctively, the frontman has rushed over the eccentric object, with the same mental alertness of a Baywatch lifeguard rushing over a beautiful woman who is about to drawn.

And after that so heroic 'rescue', Matthew has kept his protégé safe with the other baggage.

Plus, the temporary absence of his friends lets Matt have the privacy he needs.

Taking advantage of that, Matthew sits on the floor, next to his trolley, almost staring into his eyes... if only trolley had eyes!

"Oh, my poor Pinkie, you seem to be so frustrated. I bet Dom isn't taking good care of you, is he? He doesn't feed you, right? He doesn't take you out for your daily walk. He doesn't play with you anymore and he never sings a song to you... well, on second thought, you should be glad for the last point!" Matthew comments in what is supposed to be just and only a monologue, but not for him, evidently.

Confirming that, he also pats affectionately his trolley, almost as if he wanted to comfort it.

"C'mon, Pinkie, hold on. It's just three more journeys to go, and then you'll come back to me. We're going to celebrate pwoperly. I'll buy you a new set of wheels, golden ones! Plus, I'll cover you with glitter, you'll look so wonderful with that! I'm already thinking about covering also one of my guitars with glitter, maybe the one who will behave in the best way. And, to be honest, I'm thinking about covering even myself with glitter. It sounds so tempting!" Matthew confesses.

"Yep. I agree. Glitter sounds so damn exciting!" Dom states, behind his back, lowering his sunglasses in order to look better at him.

Matthew jolts and gets up abruptly as he tries to deny the obvious, but he knows that there's nothing left to deny.

"Gee, Dom, how long have you been listening?" he asks him awkwardly.

"Long enough to establish that you're even crazier than I thought!" the blond chuckles.

"Hello? Words coming from the guy who always talks with mirrors!" the brunette strikes back.

"I don't talk with mirrors. I talk with my reflection and my reflection happens to be a wonderful listener!" the other justifies.

"By the way, you were in a store, in front of a mirror. Since when are *only fifteen minutes* enough for you?" Matt questions him, amazed.

"You're right, it's not enough. But since the shopper gave me this, I'm ok with it!" the other replies as he shows to him the film pack silver bookmark that has an inestimable mirror effect.

"What about Chris?" the singer changes topic.

"When I left him there, he was all engrossed flipping through the pages of a book named something like '101 ways to...'"

"To do what?'" Matt cuts him off, with a mischievous look.

"No, my dear, it's not what you think. It's just to understand a woman." Dominic informs him.

"Well, I should have expected that form a guy whose main priority whenever he comes back to his wife is play scrabble!" Matt comments as he rolls his eyes, before being enlightened by a naughty thought.

"Hey, Dommeh, maybe is there in that store also a book about 101 ways to do *that* kind of stuff?" he wonders as his eyes sparkle with lust.

"Oh, C'mon, Mattie, how can you think about such things?" the drummer replies as he pretends to be annoyed. "You have me. We don't need any stupid book!" he adds fiercely.

"So, you really know 101 way to..." Matthew peers at him as he gets closer to the blonde, longing as a predator.

"Maybe even more!" Dom declares, before his mate flings himself to him for a kiss that he breaks immediately.

"No, wait. We can't do that here. Not in front of Pinkie!" he grumbles as he parts from him.

"What?! Fucking news release, Matt: trolleys *don't have* fucking eyes!" Dom snaps.

"But..." it's all the other manages to say, staring at Dom, as upset as a child who has just been told that Santa Claus doesn't exist, and looking at his trolley with something that is very similar to ... guilty sense.

"I can't believe I'm doing this for real!" Dom hisses as he takes off his coat and places it on the trolley, in order to cover it.

"Pinkie can't see us anymore. Is it better now?" the blond rolls his eyes.

"Very much better!" the brunet smiles.

"There's only a problem now..." the other warns him. "You gotta warm me up!" he ends the sentence as he embraces himself, shivering due to the cold.

"Mm. I guess I can do that." the frontman murmurs as he hugs him from behind, before opening his coat and wrapping him inside that.

The blond moans content as he glances up in order to give him a kiss that this time he breaks first.

"Just tell me, Matt, what exactly does a trolley eat?" he asks him, amused.

"Oh, shut up!" Matt pushes him away.

"Make me!" Dom teases him as he gets closer to him again, in order to kiss him.

"Hey! You're not allowed to steal my sentences!" the brunette warns him, backing off, indignant.

"And you're not allowed to reject my kisses!" the blond summons him as he drags him to himself and smashes his lips against his, whatever he agrees or not.

And there's no need to say that Matthew does agree, a lot!

They get lost in their kiss, but not so much not to hear Chris coming from afar.

Luckily for them, he's still engrossed reading that book that by then has become a definitive purchase.

That gives Matthew and Dominic the time to part from each other and appear as nonchalant as possible, or at least try, since the best of their inventiveness makes them look at the wall, with a thoughtful attitude.

"Guys, I need your help. I don't know which to choose between 'Way number 9' and 'Way number 12', so far, and..." he exclaims , but he stops as soon as he lifts his gaze from the book and sees, but mostly listens to them.

"Yes, Matt, you're right. This wall is really ochre!" Dominic comments, as he pretends to ignore that his friend is there.

"Told you so. And it's such a horrible colour!" the other replies with the same nonchalance, as the blonde nods.

"Excuse me, what exactly are you supposed to be doing?" the bassist wonders, kind of puzzled.

"It looks obvious to me. We are just staring at the walls and commenting them!" the frontman explains calmly.

"It's a very normal daily activity!" the drummer adds.

"And why the hell did you even take off your coat?" their friend goes on with his inquisition.

"It looks obvious to me. I did it in order to concentrate better on the walls!" the blonde justifies promptly as he shrugs and put his coat back.

"You two have a very curious way to make things obvious!" Chris grumbles, more and more confused.

"Anyway guys, don't think I haven't noticed that. There's something seriously wrong with you..." he adds, immediately after, as he glares deplorably at them.

Dominic and Matthew gulp as they wait for the final verdict, since they're sure that their excuse was just too lame to be believable, so Chris must have found out everything.

"I mean, c'mon, how can you say that ochre is a horrible colour? Everyone knows that it will be the main protagonist of next Summer!" he scolds them and, hidden from Chris, they both sigh with relief.

And then they all walk towards their plane.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

They spend the rest of the day kinda serenely, among the take off, landing, hotel rooms and a little trip around that town but without overdoing, not to tire them too much since they have a gig the day after.

Although they have two different rooms plenty of every kind of comfort, for some strange reasons Matt and Dom have decided to share one together. Dom's one, for the record.

Since they had the flight on late afternoon, Chris hasn't taken his usual nap and they didn't get the chance to spend some time together in the proper way, so they want to make up for lost time.

They just have to never let Chris know about that, but by now they're more than expert in that field.

Plus, to share Dom's room for Matt means to get the chance to be closer to his Pinkie.

-----------------------------------------------------------

A few hours before the show begins, Muse are already at the Allstate Arena to rehearse, without caring about the fact that outside the crowd keeps inciting the My Chemical Romance to get out, calling every members' name out.

Matthew unashamedly ignores those people... or maybe he doesn't, since he has *casually* decided to perform a certain song from their new album that seems to invite them to burn in hell, over and over again... for their sins.

"Hey, Chris, speaking of Hell, you haven't set up another dinner with the My Terrible Lost Chance, have you?" Matt wonders at the end of that song.

"Hey! Their name is * My Chemical Romance* and you know that!" Dom corrects him, kinda rudely.

"Phew, I know, but the name I picked up is nicer and suits them better!" Matthew protests as he shrugs.

"Anyway, Bells, don't worry, there's no dinner and you're more than free to leave after our performance!" Chris informs him.

"Good to know. " Matthew rejoices and he pours his enthusiasm into the next song they play.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ok, mister, what do you think you're doing?" Dominic exclaims, putting his hands on his hips with an annoyed look, as soon as he sees Matthew come in his dressing room.

"No, what do * you* think you're doing?" Matthew strikes back, mirroring both of his actions and words.

"Go change yourself!" Dom summons him.

"No, *you* go change yourself!" the other retorts.

"Fucking stop repeating my words!" the blond snaps.

"I'm not repeating them utterly. I place a 'No' at the beginning and I also emphasize the 'you' part!" the brunette points out.

"It's irritating anyway!" the other protests.

"Why didn't you ask me before?" Matt wonders.

"Since when the bloody hell am I supposed to ask you permission to dress myself?"

"From now on, since we ended up wearing the same outfit!" Matt answers back, pointing first at his Christian Dior red blouse with white borderlines and then at Dominic's one which is identical, but silver with black borderlines.

"So? Let's wear them both!" Dom suggests.

"Sure, alright, why not? And maybe we also should make Chris wear another one in a different colour and then change the name of our band from 'Muse' to 'Huey, Dewey and Louie'!" Matt snaps and then he notices that the blonde has become thoughtful.

"What? I was too harsh, wasn't I?" he gets concerned.

"No, it's just that 'Huey, Dewey and Louie' doesn't sound good. It's much better 'Huey, Dewey and... Goofy'!" the drummer suggests, thrilled.

"I can't still believe that we managed to turn all this stupid stuff into a real conversation. Anyway, why just 'Huey, Dewey and...Goofy'?" the singer gets curious.

"Well, to begin with, Chris is taller than us, just like Goofy is taller than Huey and Dewey. Plus, if he hasn't figured out yet what's going on between you and me... well, he is a little dupe as Goofy is!" Dom explains and they both chuckle, but Matt becomes serious almost immediately.

"Why? What's going on between you and me?" he wonders rhetorically as he steps closer to the blond, moving like a cat, before making him back off, until he gets him pinned against the wall.

"Why don't you tell me?" the blond teases him, as he has already trouble bearing that closeness without betraying himself.

"I can do much better. I'm gonna show you!" Matthew announces, before taking possession of his lips, kissing him with burning passion as their hands wander everywhere, eager to get a more satisfying contact.

It's just a matter of a bunch of seconds, before they both lower each other's zipper of their blouses.

"Hey! You don't wear anything under that!" Matt exclaims. Instead, he wears a white t-shirt, so tight-fitting that he seems to have bought it ... not exactly in the 'Man' department of that store.

"Yeah. So, see? This is a more reason why I can wear it and you can't!" Dominic states. "Unless you want me to go outside half-naked, letting the whole crowd free to stare at my exposed chest. I guess that it would please tons of girls... and maybe some guys, too!" Dominic winks at him.

"Never! Your chest belongs to me, just like the rest of your body!" Matt protests, almost growling, before covering that exposed skin with kisses, caresses, and some bites, too.

"Mm. You're kinda possessive, aren't you? I like that!" the blond stares at him suggestively as he licks his own lips.

"Don't tempt me, otherwise I could end up chaining you up!" Matt warns him as he draws little circles with his fingers around his so sensitive nipples.

"Uh! I'm liking that more and more and you should even..." the blond groans, but the brunette makes him shut up with another kiss, an almost violent one.

"Anyway, I can't get out without my blouse. It's fucking cold!" Matt complains as they both lift their zipper up.

"Wait. I have the solution!" he exclaims after a while, enlightened, before leaving the room

He comes back after a minute as he holds in his hands a black blouse with blue squares printed on it which make it futuristic and three-dimensional.

"You can wear this!" he comments as he throws it to him.

"Do you often bring with you extra blouses? " Dom wonders as he analyzes that garment.

"Just in case, but now it's turning very useful!" the other replies.

"Anyway, I can't wear it. See? It doesn't match at all!" the drummer makes him notice, pointing at his orange pants. "Instead, it looks just perfect on you. So * you* are gonna wear it!" he goes on, as he throws it back to its owner.

And as he looks at his black jeans, Matt has to admit that Dom is right.

"Fine. I'll wear it and you can keep on the bloody blouse!" the singer gives in, taking off his red blouse and putting on the black and blue one. "Why the bloody hell do you always win?" he snaps a second after.

"Because you love me and would do anything for me, wouldn't you?" the other strikes back, making him smile.

"That's true!" he whispers as he gets closer to him.

"So, do you really think that Huey and Dewey love each other?" he wonders as he plays with his blond hair.

"Of course they do. Do you have the slightest idea of how many times they have their fun during every camp meeting of the Junior Woodchucks? And Louie knows that and helps them hide that secret from everyone, although Donald Duck starts getting suspicious." Dom informs him, before they both burst out laughing madly.

"Gee, I hope that every kid will never ever hear about this very twisted, immoral and incestuous version of the Disney World!" Matt comments between laughs.

"Yeah. This is even worse than what we did to Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson!" Dominic adds, amused as well.

In that exact moment Chris bursts into the room as he raises up the famous book he bought at the airport, with a victory smile.

"I succeeded! Kelly and I made it up and now she is in love with me more than ever! Way Number 85 was bloody perfect!" the bassist cheers.

"Hey, why are you so amused?" he asks them immediately after.

"For no specific reasons. You know us, don't you? We were just mucking around and acting stupid, as always!" Matt shrugs.

"Yeah. Stupid me for asking. C'mon guy, let's just go, it's about time to make the show start!" the youngest guy states.

"As you wish... *Goofy*!" Dominic answers back as both he and Matt burst out laughing again, before leaving the room.

< Goofy?! > Chris repeats in his mind, dumbfound, as he scratches his head in confusion.

Deep down, maybe Matthew and Dominic have a point.

TBC

Notes:

Yes, I know, I know, poor Chris, I'm so terrible with him.

Well, on second thought, it's not that I treat Dom and Matt any better... lol!

As always, I hope you had fun reading this delirium.

[bisexual-book-worm]

2022 Reading Wrapped

Keeping track of everything I read this year was a daunting but rewarding task! I jump from all types of media when I read, from library books, to physical copies, audiobooks, fanfics, comics, and graphic novels, and there just isn't a great place to keep track of all of that! So I kept a reading log on my iPad all year and here are some of my highlights!

I want to shoutout to all the amazing fics I read this year! So if you'd like to read any of these too, have at it! They were all amazing 😊

You Have Nothing to be Sorry For by hopeofnyan Fandom: atla Pairing: Zutara Word count: 2680 Summary: Katara does not deal well with being repeatedly abandoned and Zuko is the first person she talks to about several buried emotional burdens.

If There Was A Place I Could Call Home ( It'd Be in Your Arms Tonight) by tarotea_ji Fandom: atla Pairing: Zutara Word count: 1545 Summary: Sometimes winter nights are cold and lonely. Katara seeks out Zuko for company and they spend some quality time cuddling and talking. i.e. where two people are utterly in love with each other and just aren't ready to accept the extent of their feelings get a little bit closer to realizing. they are so soft for each other.

Also the title is based off of lyrics from Soren by beabadoobee. maybe that could be a song to listen to while reading this!!

Hopeless by tullyblue12 Fandom: atla Pairing: Zutara Word count: 56558 Chapters: 23/23 Summary: Kids grow up fast when a cruel world awaits them. In times of hopelessness, Katara and Zuko grow together. In times of separation, they hope to see each other again. ^This one does come with a content warning but the subject matter is very fade to black/you only see snippets in flashbacks, it's enough to know what's happening but not graphically depicted at all. But do be warned if you can't read any content that even mentions the R word. Also note that everything that happens between Zuko and Katara IS consensual

i want your company, i need your company. by xolaris_12 Fandom: The Owl House Pairing: Huntlow Word count: 2962 Summary: hunter coming over to willow's house late at night seemed to be turning into a weekly routine for them, but willow wasn't sure how long she could keep overlooking the root of it.

The one where she fell first (not really) by AnotherAttempt Fandom: The Owl House Pairing: Huntlow Word count: 2463 Summary: "Thank you, Hunter," she whispers, forehead touching his chest, very close to where his heart is.

"W-What for...?"

She grins, hug getting just a little tighter. As if on reflex, he does the same.

How endearing.

"For being here with me."

His arms double down in the hug, again. Hers doesn't.

"Anytime, anywhere," he says. "For as long as you'll have me, Willow."

She closes her eyes, lips trembling, heart on fire.

She loves him. If only he felt the same way...

Cotton Candy Kind Of Love by This_Is_My_Guest_Name Fandom: The Owl House Pairing: Gustholomule Word count: 2669 Summary: Gus and Matt are at the amusement park, and things might not go exactly the way they planned

I had a ton of others I also loved this year so it was really so hard to choose which ones to highlight! But I think these were so great and really really stood out to me.

[delos-mio]

Out of the Woods - College!AU - PART 1

A/N: Welp, here it is! Part 1 of my silly little AU for my favorite silly little king. I really hope I can do him justice and I greatly appreciate any comments and questions you may have! No major triggers- only implied drug use, drinking, allusion to sexy stuff. So, without further ado..

If you had to gaze into a crystal ball at the beginning of the year, this would not have been the future you expected to see. You didn’t plan on being unhoused, stuck in an idle relationship, and debating dropping out of school all together. But here you were, trying your very best to pick up the pieces, salvage what little motivation to carry on that you had left. It could have been worse. It could have been much worse, at least that’s what you kept telling yourself to keep from crumbling entirely. You were never one to back down though, and these few hurdles sure as hell weren’t going to be the thing to break you. At least one of your problems was solved.

You had just emptied the last of the boxes left from moving and were hanging up the rest of your clothes when there was a soft knock on your door. Genya popped her head in, smiling brightly.

“Hey. I was just making sure you were getting settled ok,” she said.

“Yeah, I’m just about done unpacking I think.” You sat down next to her on the edge of your bed. “Thanks again for letting me live here. You have no idea how much you saved his ass,” you laughed.

“Don’t mention it! I’m happy to have someone else here, honestly.” She seemed to mean it, so you decided not to keep groveling. “Anyways, I just had a friend text me about a party tonight if you wanted to go?”

Your party days were almost entirely behind you. Freshman and Sophomore year were a haze of booze and recreational drugs, leading to you almost flunking out of school on more than one occasion. You’d since cleaned up your act, for the most part, and found you way back on the Dean’s list. But...it was a Friday afterall. And you’d just spent all day moving and contemplating your entire life- did that not earn a beer or two?

“Yeah, ok. Ok. That sounds good,” you said with a nod.

“Awesome! I think we’re meeting there around 10ish, so I’ll come grab you to get ready in a little bit.”

“Get ready? Are we 18 and going to our first frat party?” you joked, making Genya laugh.

“I was thinking about it more so as a roomie bonding activity, but if you wanna be a brat…” she drawled, trying to keep the smile off her face.

“Come back in an hour,” you finally sighed. Genya looked simply delighted as she exited, very clearly planning out looks for you both in her head.

As you went to finish up organizing your closet, you felt the familiar buzz of your phone in your pocket.

Matt: u coming over tonight?

You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling back in your skull. That probably shouldn’t happen when you get a text from your boyfriend.

Y: can’t, sorry. Going out with Genya M: ok- have fun. Make good choices. Y: wtf does that mean M: just to make good choices? Jesus does everything have to be a fight? Y: i’m not trying to fight omg Y: i’ll just talk to you later M: k

K. He had some fucking nerve.

---

Across campus, Nikolai wasn’t having much better of an evening.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes." Aleks's tone was final; Nikolai knew there was no point in trying to bargain with him at this point.

"Jesus, fine." Nikolai’s fate had been decided and it was now mandatory that he go to the Delta Chi party that night. And here he had been looking forward to a quiet evening alone with his guitar and journal...

"It'll be fun, you sad sack. And I really want you to meet Alina," Aleks chastised.

"I didn’t know you missed my irreplaceable company quite this much."

Aleks gently threw a pencil across the table at his head. "Maybe you'll even catch a new fish of your own, huh?" he said with an obnoxious smirk. Nikolai just chuckled, nodding noncommittally before heading off to his bedroom.

It's not that he didn’t want to go. Well, he didn’t, really. But normally, he would. It’d been about a month since he called it off with the girl he met in Statistics. And it's not like he even missed her all that much- he knew she wouldn’t be around long from the start. But he was still stuck in the “mope in his room, write songs about heartbreak” phase of his healing. Because of such, he hadn't felt like partying much lately, but he’d blown off Aleks the last 3 weekends...he wasn't going to let Nikolai say no again.

Nikolai figured the least he could do is try and look presentable. It was unlike him to spend as much time in sweats as he had; his sense of style had always been impeccable. He was a man who knew he was handsome and knew the best way to broadcast just that. He pulled out tight black jeans and paired them with a powder blue button down with the sleeves rolled up, maybe a couple of the top buttons left undone. He pushed his golden hair back out of his hazel eyes and scrutinized himself in the mirror. To his horror, he looked like he hadn't had a good night of sleep in a week, which was true. Overall, it could have been better, but it could be worse. With a sigh, he grabbed his phone and keys before going out to find Aleks.

They got to the Delta Chi house, and there were already a few guys passed out on the lawn. Nikolai wasn’t surprised, but it was only 10:30. They must have been freshmen. Aleks lead the way to the porch where a petite dark haired girl turned around and beamed at them.

"You're late!" she says with a clearly fake pout. Aleks leaned in to kiss it away and Nikolai looked everywhere but at them.

"Sorry, sorry, I know. Miss Princess here had to be dragged out of his cave," he laughed at his expense. "Alina, this is Nikolai. Nikolai, Alina."

"Nice to finally meet you," Alina smiled. She's cute, he can give Aleks that.

"I’ll have you know I was not in a cave. I was waxing poetic about love lost, heartbreak and what have you,” Nikolai smirked as Alina laughed.

"Genya and her new roommate are already inside," Alina said, grabbing Aleks's hand.

Thank god. Not that he didn't want to spend time with them or get to know Alina, but he didn't really want to watch them suck face and play third wheel all night. Genya had been a friend of theirs since Freshman year- she smoked them down at a random dorm party and she'd been part of the gang ever since. Nikolai pushed through the crowd and made it along with Aleks and Alina to the kitchen. There were fewer people back here and Nikolai felt like he could breathe again.

"Nik," Genya chirped and threw her hands up excitement. "He lives!"

"You saw me Wednesday," Nikolai laughed. “But, I understand. Aleks was desperate for his company too. It must have been unbearable without me.”

"I really didn't think Aleks would get you to come," she said with an easy grin. Genya handed him a cup of what he assumed was beer. "Doesn't matter. You're here now."

They all circled up and chatted for a minute. For once in his life, Nikolai felt like he was noticeably quiet, but he found he didn’t have much to add. They didn’t want to hear about how he managed to cook a meal TWICE last week. Or how he’d written probably a dozen songs, all of them dogshit. Genya was grinning at a story their friend William was telling when she looked over his shoulder and motioned for someone to join them.

"Guys! Guys! This is my new roommate," Genya said. Ah yes, the new roommate. How could Nikolai forget?

New Roommate had wedged themselves into the circle two people away from Nikolai. He looked up from his cup and immediately locked eyes with you. Honestly, the name should have tipped him off. He never, ever thought he’d see you again. There's no way you possibly remember him, right? God, you were still so beautiful.

"Nikolai?" you asked with a tight voice, eyes jumping all around his face. And it's right about then that Nikolai wished he got a little more beauty sleep. Here you were, practically glowing, while he looked like the walking dead.

"Hey," he breathed out. It sounded a lot more desperate than he meant it to, but you always have had that effect on him.

"You guys know each other?" Aleks interjected.

"It's uh, it's been a few years, but yeah," you said with a blush, looking down into your cup. Aleks and Genya both looked at Nikolai with a raised eyebrow. He could feel the sweat pricking along his brow. Fuck, now all eyes were on him...

"Maybe there's a spot open for beer pong. Let's go check it out." Thank you. Subtle, Genya. "You guys can catch up," Genya said walking past you and patting Nikolai on the shoulder. The rest of his friends followed suit and Nikolai was left alone with you, staring not so subtly.

You hadn’t grown an inch. You’d lost the bright red glasses too. But, god, you were still the most gorgeous creature Nikolai had ever laid his eyes on. Really, he couldn't have lost his virginity to a hotter person.

It's your typical boy-meets-girl story. Nikolai first saw you at the rink where he played hockey in high school. Your parents owned the building and seeing as such, you were employed as the kid behind the concession stand. Nikolai remembered the first time he saw you, he thought you looked like a dork. A very hot dork, but a dork all the same. Nikolai began to notice you watching him in particular during practice, which just further flustered his raging teen hormones.

One night, after everyone else had left practice, Nikolai stayed behind and introduced himself to you. He’d never seen such a beautiful mouth and he had to resist the urge to kiss you right then and there. It became habit that he stay after practice and lean against the counter to shamelessly flirt with you. You often had the rink to yourselves by that time, so Nikolai felt like he could really be himself during those hours. He was still figuring out his place in the world and had stuck-up parents who would never approve of him taking you home. But in the lowlights of the concourse, he was allowed to have a crush on you.

Flirting led to making out behind the counter. Making out behind the counter led to hand stuff in your beat up purple van once you locked up for the night. Hand stuff led to him fucking you in the locker room shower. It was both of your first time and it could have been much less hurried. But you were young and inexperienced and horny as fuck and still exploring sexuality. You kept that arrangement up for the next few months until the season ended and Nikolai left that fall for school. He felt like a dick for not saying goodbye to you. It's not in his nature to ghost. It just isn't. He thinks maybe he was still scared of what it all "meant" and how much he really liked you. Maybe this was the universe telling him to make things right with you and make things right for himself.

"Hey, stranger," you said with a lopsided grin. Fuck. Nikolai was so done for if you kept looking at him like that.

"Hey yourself." And Nikolai couldn't help himself when he reached out to you to pull you in a tight embrace. Lucky him, you didn’t push him away and call him a fucking asshole; he thought he would have deserved that. You buried your face into his neck and the hot little puffs of air were doing way more to him than they should. You parted just enough to get a good look at each other.

"You look good," you said with a dark edge to your voice, bottom lip trapped between your teeth. He knew very well what he looked like that night, but you seemed to mean the compliment.

"You look better," he replied earnestly, because it was true. It shouldn't have been this easy to fall right back into things. But it was always different with you. Sometimes, he still thought you were the only one that really understood him without him having to say a word.

"Nikolai Lantsov, you always were a little flirt," you laughed. Your eyes crinkled at the corner and Nikolai thought to himself how beautiful you are when you’re playful. You’re always beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to whisk you away and have you alone. This time, he wouldn’t fuck it up. He wouldn’t let you go. You must have noticed his brain going into overdrive because you say "What's going on up there? What ya thinking?" You pushed a rogue lock of golden hair away from his face.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"I'm thinking about how much I wish we weren't at a frat party right now. I'm thinking about how I want to be selfish and have you all to myself," Nikolai said low so only you could hear. You laughed a little to yourself and looked at him with sparkling eyes.

"I'm not stopping you," you drawled. Fuck. Fuck, ok. This was really happening.

"Let me tell the guys we're leaving and then do you maybe want to get some food?" Nikolai asked hopefully. You just nodded coyly with a small smirk.

"I'll meet you out front." You squeezed his hand once and started pushing your way through the sea of bodies.

Nikolai ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath before nearly running down to the basement, eager to say goodbye and make his way back to you. Genya, Aleks, Alina, and William were playing each other, a beer pong table stretching between their pairs.

"Where's your old friend?" Genya asked with a shit eating grin.

"We're um. We're actually gonna head out. So, I guess I'll—" but he was immediately cut off by Aleks.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nik, are you leaving with a girl?" he teased.

"Yes. I am." Nikolai looked at him defiantly.

"How do you guys know each other anyways?" Bill asked before launching a shot.

"Just from growing up. High school or whatever," Nikolai mumbled.

"Cmon..." Genya begged.

"Wouldn’t you love to know," he said, voice laced with snark. "I just came down here to say we're fucking leaving!"

"Well then you better not keep your girl waiting," Genya said with a silent kiss in his direction. Nikolai just flipped her off and took his leave.

When he got outside, you were waiting with your hands in your pockets at the bottom of the porch steps. He smiled wide at you and offered a hand, which you seemed happy to take.

"So, are they gonna give me a bunch of shit next time I see them?" you asked as you walked hand in hand to the little strip of 24 hour restaurants on the outskirts of campus.

"Probably. Nothing you can't handle," Nikolai winked. You laughed then a little giggle. It's such a familiar sound and just like that, Nikolai was transported back to the ice rink and you giggling between kisses behind the snack bar.

You made it to one of his favorite delis in town and he offers to buy you a sandwich, which of course you tried to refuse his offer. Nikolai simply won't hear it. He had 5 years of douche baggery to make up for and insisted. You finally conceded and thanked him with the sweetest smile Nikolai had ever seen. You found a table in the corner, away from the door and prying eyes.

"So, how'd you meet Genya?" Nikolai asked.

"We have a writing class together. And we got to talking and became friends. I needed to find a new place cause my old roommate had to drop out and move home. I couldn't afford the place on my own. And I mean, you know how Genya is," you laughed, "I told her all about it one day in class and she offered me a room at her place without batting an eye."

"That does sound like Genya," Nikolai nodded.

"I've only been there like, two hours. But it's been good so far. Genya's been super cool," you said with a smile.

"I can't believe that we've been at the same school this whole time and it's taken this long to find each other," Nikolai said, mostly to himself, but you heard him and reached across the table to grab one of his hands.

"But we did find each other eventually, yeah?" You ran your thumb over his knuckle.

"Yeah," he said, suddenly bashful. Nikolai was seldom flustered. He had nerves of steel and had confidence to spare on his worst days. But you. You cut through him, all the way down to the core, and that made him nervous.

"So," you started, "Tell me about everything Nikolai Lantsov. Surely you've been up to something the last few years."

"Not much interesting to tell," he shrugged. "Been studying history. Writing music here and there to keep myself occupied."

"Girlfriend?"

"Who wants to know?" he asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Shut up," you mumbled into your soda. He doesn't miss the blush that's spreading over your cheeks.

"No. No girlfriend." he paused, considering how honest to be. But fuck it, he owed you candor. "I actually broke up with a girl a little over a month ago." You looked back up at him then, your eyes searching presumably for whether or not Nikolai was still torn up about it. "She wasn’t...she wasn’t right for mw and I guess I was just done. I feel like I should still be sad about it or whatever, but I'm not. I don't miss her. The wallowing and self reflection has been great writing fodder though," he said with a laugh.

"I'm sorry, Nik. You don't deserve that."

"Don't I?" Nikolai looked at you and suddenly felt torn open. "I...I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you." You bit down on your lip and looked out the window. "I regretted leaving you, god, and like a fucking asshole. I regretted leaving you so much. I know saying I'm sorry isn't even close to enough. But god, I'm so fucking sorry." He knew there were tears threatening to fall from his eyes, but he swallowed them down best he could.

"I'm not going to act like it didn't hurt me. Because it really, really did. But I accept your apology, Nik. You know I could never stay mad at you." You paused for a minute before looking at Nikolai with a tiny fire in your eyes. "You know, I'm pretty sure I was in love with you back then."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I don’t think I ever stopped loving you," He said confidently. Your jaw dropped just for a moment before you're giving him that sexy grin that apparently still drives him absolutely crazy.

"Still?” Nikolai just smirked. "What if you don't know me anymore?" you asked and sucked at the straw in your soda.

"I'd like to." There's a shift in the air between you. Nikolai was sure you could both feel it. It was suddenly too warm in the restaurant and there's too much table separating you. He decided to take his chance. “How do you feel about going back to my place?”

You suddenly seemed very interested in your nail beds, picking anxiously at the skin. “You didn’t ask me if I was seeing anyone.”

Nikolai stalled. He didn’t. You asked about his relationship status and he was so absorbed with letting you know that he was, in fact, single, that he didn’t bother to ask if you were even available. Hadn't you been flirting all night? He'd certainly been flirting. But like you said, maybe he didn't know you anymore. Maybe this was just how you were these days. “Are you...are you seeing someone?”

“Yeah,” you sighed. Maybe it was his own wishful thinking, him hearing the resignation in your voice. Not that he wanted you to be unhappy. No, you deserved the world and he wanted nothing more than for you to have the sun and the moon and the stars. But, maybe there was still a chance for him yet. “His name is Matt. We’ve been together for like, a year or so.”

“Matt.” He let the name burn his tongue. “You love him?”

“Nik…” you warned.

“Just a question.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“Just my two cents here,” Nikolai started, leaning back into the booth, “But you deserve to be with someone you can gush about. Someone who when you get asked if you love them, you don’t think twice and say ‘they’re the love of my life!’”

“And you don’t think that’s him?” you said, huffing. “You think that’s you?”

“There’s a chance,” he smirked. “All that aside, I’m very glad fate has brought us together again.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you laughed. “I missed you too.” You looked at your phone quickly. “Shit, I should get going. I have a shift at 9 tomorrow.”

“Let me walk you home,” Nikolai insisted, standing from the booth and helping you into your jacket.

“Always such a gentleman,” you smiled, tapping him gently on the nose before walking ahead of him.

The walk to your and Genya’s place felt too short. Nikolai had made this trek, both intoxicated and sober, and it always seemed much longer. But now he was at your front door, hands shoved in his pockets as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. “If you don’t want to hang out again, I understand, but I need you to tell me now if you think it’s a bad idea,” he rushed out.

“Of course I want to see you again,” you said, rolling your eyes. “So dramatic. We can still be friends, right?”

“We can be best friends,” he smiled.

“I’m glad I ran into you tonight.”

“Likewise.”

You were both clearly just trying to prolong the evening at this point. Nikolai took it upon himself to put you both out of your misery and pulled you into his arms again. You gripped his torso tightly, melting your body against his. He held you close, both strong arms wrapped around your shoulder while he tucked your head under his chin. After a moment, he pulled back enough to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Get some sleep,” he whispered, his breathing a little hard.

“Ok,” you croaked, nodding. Nikolai stepped out of your space then, squeezing your hand one last time before walking back out to the sidewalk, waiting and watching to make sure you got inside safely.

[livelovelaug-h]

Private eyes -

Getting the job

Matt shade x reader

“When are you going to meet up with her? Angie asked Matt.

“Soon she asked if we go could grab something for lunch.”

“so what she just randomly hit you up?”

“Well yeah, but she lost her job and is moving back up here so You know.”

“oh she wanted to you know me. meet. up” she winks.

“No no not like that.”

“Whatever you say. Have fun”

~~~~~~~

Shade walks into the restaurant you guys chose, and starts looking around for you. You walked in and he seen you.

“Oh hey! Wow you look,.. great.”

“Oh thank you. So do you.” He looks so surprised so you laughed “ready to eat?”

“Uh yeah yeah.” You chose of booth to sit at.

“So how has life been treating you?” you ask him.

“Pretty good exactly.”

“That's great. How old is your daughter now 15?”

“yep almost all grown up.”

“Wow I remember when she was just 9. Time is just flying by”

“It really see. Look at us in our late 30’s.”

“Hell yeah I still feel 20.” you both laugh and order something small.

“What about you? Any kids?”

“Oh no not yet. Can't find the right guy”

“Really well anyone would be lucky to have someone like you.” You blushed.

“Thank you.”

“Well you never know maybe soon. what about you dating anyone special.” You held your breath.

“Not at the moment.”

“Really the shadow hockey player not seeing anyone?”

“you know you date and then life has different plans.“

“that is true, but we still have time.”

“yeah. So you never told me how did you get fired?”

“ I thought my one co-worker was part of the investigation and hiding things. so I snooped around.”

“Well was she?”

You smiled “Yeah.”

“why would you think almost working there for 6 years they would be proud of you”

“I know right that's what I said. but I get it was wrong.”

“They could have just suspended you then.”

“That would have been nice. But now I get to start somewhere different.”

“so what are you going to do now?”

“I'm not sure. I seen some companies up here that I could apply for.” you tried to give him a hint so you leaned closer.

He narrowed his eyebrows “am I thinking what your think-.”

“I want your consent in this. I won't do it if you don't want me to.”

“I don't- I don't mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why would I mind?”

“I don't know because I just randomly came back into your life, when started something new.”

“No I swear I don't mind.”

“Thank you so much. Your the best.”

His phone rang. “excuse me. sorry” he answered “Hey Angie what's up?”

After a couple of mins he said “okay I'm on my way.”

“Ouu Who's Angie?”

“My partner.”

“Ohhh okay.” You smiled. “It's not like that.” He says.

Still smiling you say “I believe you.”

“I have to go but he was really nice seeing you. We should do this again some other time. And keep me updated on the job.”

“Will do thanks for everything.” You stood up and gave him a hug goodbye.

“See you later.” He says and walks away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You filled out an application online and did some paperwork to try and get a job where works.

You and matt texted here and there for the next week.

For the second following week you got a call back for an interview.

you were sitting in an office waiting for someone to come in for the interview when you heard shade.

“Hey y/n, did you do the interview yet”

“hey, and Not yet.”

“You'll do fine. Uh” he looked at Angie.

“Angie this is why y/n, y/n my partner Angie.”

You guys shook hands “nice to meet you Angie.”

“Nice to meet you too. How do you guys know each other?”

“We used to go to school together.”

“Oh wow how was he in school? Always this well-behaved?” You laughed.  

“no definitely not.”

“Hey I was.. . Sometimes.”

“Hey guys. Mrs. (Y/l/n). Do you guys know each other?”

“me and her went to school together.”

“Oh sweet. That always helps out when you know someone.”

“Yeah. See you around y/n.”

“Bye guys.”

~~~~~~~

“So you do have to take a test but you should pass, and if you do then you can Shadow Angie and matt.”

“Sounds good.”

“Follow me I'll take you to the test.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After two long hours you finally finished the test.

Well get back to you in a day or so.”

“Thank you. Have a great day.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

You texted Matt about getting the letter back from his job so he called you.

“So did you get the job?”

“I…. did. I start on Monday”

“That's Great! Why don't you swing by the office and meet everyone before you start. And then we can grab drinks after?”.

“Sounds good to me, I'll be there in a little.”

You walked into the building and everyone was talking it was Friday and they just finished a case.

“Hello everyone this is y/n she is now apart of our team.” the boss says.

Everyone claps. “Welcome to the team.” Angie says “thank you.”

“Hello I'm Kurtis.”.

“y/n, Nice to meet you.”

“Hey, I'm zoe.”

“Nice to meet  you Zoe.”

after meeting everyone for about 15 minutes Shade asked if they wanted to join us for some drinks.

They all agreed so off you guys went to the bar. They left after an hour, leaving just you and shade. you were slightly tipsy.

“remember when we used to sneak out and drink sometimes.”

“Yeah those were the times. Even after I won a game sometimes they would let us drink”

“That was crazy.” you guys laugh, followed by a moment of silence.

“I really missed this place. And you” he widened his eyes.

“ I mean we were like a package.”

“We were. I'm glad you're back though we'll make new memories.”

“I'll Drink to that.” you guys raised your glasses, clicking them together. “To new memories.”

~~~~~~~~~

The next part will be way better.  

[soraenun-archive]

knock knock! guess who's here? me, the infamous 🐘 anon. i'm trying to think of new ways to say hi to you, to keep on your toes hihi i hope you've been doing okay and that you're having a super great day today :D

i'm trying not to talk about my disbanded faves because it's always sad to think about :( but, the one thing i can say is that a lot of my 'old' faves have chosen the acting path. it's nice to see them in a new setting because they can display a larger range of character. thinking about this whole acting thing made me wonder why so many idols have chosen that as soon as they were free from their ex-companies? it also makes me wonder if they've ever wanted to become a singer at all because, as you know, kpop companies don't only hire singers/dancers, they also hire actors/actresses. so, some idols might have entered the company to become an actor/actress but then the company might have thought they suited the idol image more. i'm saying this as one of my faves, ahn sohee (wonder girls), has spoken about this and it opened my eyes when she said she never really wanted to be a singer. sorry for the rant, i just wanted to share that with you shannon 💕 if you have any thoughts, i'd love to hear them. also, that's such a smart move 🧠 it's true that the new of groups that i was a casual listener of disbanded didn't have as much of an impact on me as my faves' did. i'll keep that in mind if i ever get into new groups hehe

i was kind of hoping you'd have a better taste in movies than me because i, like you, don't watch a lot of movies. my favourite genre of movies is animated movies. i think 80% of the movies i like are animated movies. i think anyone would roll their eyes while reading this (if they ever do) but my favourites are any ghibli movie. i mean i've never watched any ghibli movie that disappointed me and that says a lot! if you like chill movies, i'd suggest little forest by yim soon rye. there's a lot of scenes with food in it so if you have an ed, i don't think it's for you. other than that, i don't watch a lot of movies so i don't think i'll ever be able to talk more on this topic, unfortunately :( oh, and i used to have a matt damon phase too. it's our secret now. don't worry, i understand the shame and embarrassment of it all lmao

btw, i didn't forget the elo section. i'm just waiting to listen to his whole discography to talk about him more with you in the future.

i think that, by the time you'll read this, rv would have had their cb. i'd love to read your thoughts and discuss them with you.

as always, wishing the loveliest day/night. take care 💖

from 🐘 anon

hiii bestie <3 i love the different intros even though i’m usually certain it’s always you since i don’t usually get many messages or at least i hope they are from you when i see i have a new message! sorry for my late reply i actually had a bit of rough day today! and i didn’t wanna reply to your message until i was feeling better because i didn’t wanna sound negative or off in my reply and wanted to give you the long and thought out response you deserve! 💞

yeah i totally get that :( if i think about madtown for even a second i wanna cry! ohh that’s really interesting? i’m not that familiar with wonder girls so i didn’t know about that! i think it’s definitely a possibility for a lot of idols that it wasn’t their original goal or passion and maybe they see it as a stepping stone to becoming an actor and just want to be in the industry in any way! but i also feel like being an actor is more sustainable as a long term career as being an idol is so dependant on your group being successful and eventually the group will disband so it seems like quite a natural change to go from idol to actor if they want to maintain a career in the entertainment industry. ohhh no please don’t apologise for the rant i love discussing interesting topics like this!!

ooo yeah i have seen a few studio ghibli movies!! the animation is so beautiful in them! i’ve seen spirited away which is probably my favourite and kiki’s delivery service which i also really enjoyed! do you have a favourite studio ghibli movie? or do you like them all too much to pick a favourite? i have seen some gifs from little forest and it does look really like calming ?? (i’m not sure how to describe it hajsdajdh) so i have been meaning to watch it! hopefully one of these days i will get round to it! asdajkdh so glad i wasn’t the only one with a matt damon phase he looked so pretty in his earlier movies i was deeply in love :/ im glad you can understand lmaooo

of course no pressure!!! i will look forward to hearing your thoughts once you have chance to listen to his music! i really hope you will like it <3

yess i absolutely loved the rv comeback! my favourite songs are probably bamboleo and beg for me but i really enjoyed all of the songs!! the music video was stunning which i expected from seeing the teasers and they all looked so beautiful too i’m absolutely obsessed with the styling! have you had time to listen to the album yet? i’d love to know which songs are your favourites!

thank you so much for the well wishes! i hope you have been well too! and hopefully had a better day than mine!💗💕

[flower1622]

Spoilers (Fanfic)

"You have to let me go, Percy"

"I can't"

"You can. You have so much to live. Spend time with your mother, your sister and your friends. Maybe create a family in the future. Live a normal life as you always wanted"

"Please, Clarisse. Stop saying all these things. Both of us are gonna leave out of here alive"

"We both know that is not the truth. You are weak, Percy. You can't hold on for too long....and I'm not Annabeth. If you fall, I'll never forgive you. Never."

"Please, don't say that, Clarisse"

"It's okay, Percy"

"No, don't be stupid Clarisse. You never ran away from a fight, so don't do it now."

"I'm not running away. Sometimes there are things we can't win, Percy. Both of us are pretty bad hurt. We both lost many blood. We are out of strength here. If you don't let me go, we'll fall."

"But I can't lose another friend."

"But you'll have to...because life it's this...we are born, we grow up and die. You can't stay stuck in the past forever....I know it hurts. I lost Silena, remember? But I moved on...because that's what she would have wanted me to do....and right now, it's what I want you to do. You can't stop your life for a person...because maybe a future little girl is just waiting to be born....and you are the reason for it to happen.... Percy, if you wanna make me happy, just do it okay? Tell the people that I died fighting. Take care of yourself and your family. You may think you are alone in this world, but you are not...many people care about you and even admire you...trust me...when you were on missions, all the campers only talked about you and how you changed their lifes for better. They need you, Percy. Be their friend. Be their mentor. Be their ally. But the most important of all...just be yourself. Live the life you want now...because we never know the day of tomorrow."

"Clarisse..."

"And please do me one last favor"

"What is it?"

"Take care of my mother and Matt. She will be so devastated with me gone...she is always alone by herself. She only has Matt as company...so could you visit her sometimes, please?"

"Of course I would visit her. I already consider her as my second mom. I'll try to keep her and Matt safe."

"Thanks. That means a lot to me."

"You don't need to thank me"

"I know. But I wanted. You really are an awesome guy, did you know that? I'm grateful to meet you, Percy Jackson. But now you must go."

"What?"

"The kids are still in danger somewhere inside of this forest and they need you."

"But I can't leave you."

"Yes, you can. It"s too late for me anyways......Maybe, just maybe in other lifes....who knows right?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I love you, Jackson. Just continue being yourself, alright?"

"What...?"

"I'm sorry"

*Clarisse shakes her hand, making it getting out of Percy's hold, and she falls*

"CLARISSE"

[breakingmllc]

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