#mate - what are you doing on here

[ratatatastic]

maffhew who refuses to say runebergin torttu because he knows hes gonna butcher it so bad he might be kicked out of the country the second he tries and staunchly avoids that by going "the one dessert that barky is going to have to explain 😃"

sasha who gets faced with the most generic description of everything hes ever eaten in his life so far because of maffhew and going "???... oh you mean runebergin torttu!"

"he did good he liked the food and he likes the finland so far so its good" sasha says with so much pride now that all the anxiety has left his system that his husband teammate is enjoying his country and doesnt hate it

media availability | 10.29.24 (x)(x)

the smile of a man who knowlingly doomed his husband and said husband using all his brain power to context clues his way to whatever the fuck he just got asked that his brain is running hotter than a mid 2012 macbook air thats somehow still alive in the year of the lord 2024 but girl does she chug along shes louder than a fighter jet

[romanticatheartt]

So unhinged and horny😭💀

Feyre:

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

good night and sweet dreams to the best, sexiest, sluttiest, smartest, realest, most based, valid, relatable, girlipop, sympathetic, cunt, fun, cool, feminist, aspirational girlboss character in dead boy detectives: doll spider <3

good night to her and no one else. i hope the rest of y’all have a bad night and terrible dreams.

[reiverreturns]

after three seasons of her children being the most unhinged horndogs in all the ton, if violet bridgerton doesn't get some soon i may punch a hole through the wall

[gdn7-dollopole]

Arthur’s last wish was to comfort Merlin as he died

Arthur couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Merlin knowing that he would be sad.

Arthur cradled Merlin’s head in his hand, with a small smile on his chapped lips, trying to reassure Merlin, knowing what was to come, and aware that Merlin would have been destroyed by Arthur’s death.

So not only Arthur let himself be held, because he wanted to, because, finally, he could ask that of Merlin, but he gently caressed Merlin’s hair too, and we can see how much Merlin had longed for Arthur’s tender touch.

Merlin rolled his head back to feel Arthur’s palm on his scalp, although the hand was covered by the glove.

Merlin knew, in that moment, when he finally had Arthur in his arms like he had always wanted him, but couldn’t have him and only stared at him from afar, when he let himself be touched like he had craved for all those years, that Arthur wouldn’t have been able to caress him anymore.

So Merlin leaned in the touch like his life depended on it, and we can see him wavering by the tiny, yet enormous gesture.

And Merlin knew he wouldn’t have had the hand in his hair ever again.

It wasn’t only Arthur’s wish.

All Merlin had ever wanted of Arthur was to be held by him too.

[cuddlytogas]

there was some Twitter madness recently where someone left a comment on someone's art to the effect of, "Ed shouldn't wear a dress, he's a man!" which I do disagree with on principle, but unfortunately, it brought out one of my least favourite trends in the fandom

so, naturally, I had to write a twitter essay about it. and I already largely argued this in a post here, but the thread is clearer and better structured, so I thought I'd cross-post for those not on the Hellsite (derogatory). edited for formatting/structure's sake, since I no longer have to keep to tweet lengths, and incorporating a couple of points other people brought up in the replies

so

I want to point out that the wedding cake toppers in OFMD s2 aren't evidence that Ed wants to wear dresses. Gender is fake, men can wear skirts, play with these dolls how you like, but it's not canon, and that scene especially Doesn't Mean That.

People cite it often: 'He put himself in a dress by painting the bride as himself! It's what he wants!' But that fundamentally misunderstands the scene, and the series' framing of weddings as a whole. I'd argue that Ed paints the figure not from desire, but from self-hatred; it's not what he wants, but what he thinks he should, and has failed to, be.

(Yes, I am slightly biased by my rampant anti-marriage opinions, but bear with me here, because it is relevant to the interpretation of the scene, and season two as a whole.)

The show is not subtle. It keeps telling us that the institution of marriage is a prison that suffocates everyone involved. Ed's parents' cycle of abuse is passed to their son in both the violence he witnesses then enacts on his father, and the self-repression his mother teaches, despite her good intentions ("It's not up to us, is it? It's up to God. ... We're just not those kind of people. We never will be."). Stede and Mary are both oppressed by their arranged marriage, with 1x04 blunty titled Discomfort in a Married State. The Barbados widows revel in their freedom ("We're alive. They're dead. Now is your time").

But even without this context, the particular wedding crashed in 2x01 is COMICALLY evil. The scene is introduced with this speech from the priest:

"The natural condition of humanity is base and vile. It is the obligation of people of standing ... to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony."

It's upper class, all-white, and religiously sanctioned. "Vile natural conditions" include queerness, sexual freedom, and family structures outside the cisheteropatriarchal capitalist unit. "The obligation of people of standing" invokes ideas like the white man's burden, innate class hierarchy, religious missions, and conversion therapy. Matrimony is presented as both "sacred" (endorsed by the ruling religious body), and a "transaction" (business performed to transfer property and people-as-property, regardless of their desires), a tool of the oppressive society that pirates escape and destroy. That is where the figurines come from.

When Ed, in a drunk, depressive spiral, paints himself onto the bride, he's not yearning for a pretty dress. He's sort of yearning for a wedding, but that's not framed as positive. What he's doing is projecting himself into an 'ideal' image of marriage because he believes that: a) that's what Stede (and everyone) wants; b) he can never live up to that ideal because he's unlovable and broken (brown, queer, lower-class, violent, abused, etc); c) that's why Stede left. He tries to make himself fit into the social ideal by painting himself onto the closest match - long-haired, partner to Stede/groom, but a demure, white woman, a frozen, porcelain miniature - because, if he could just shrink himself down and squeeze into that box, maybe Stede would love him and he'd live happily ever after. But he can't. So he won't.

The fantasy fails: Ed is morose, turns away from the figurines, then tips them into the sea, a lost cause. He knows he won't ever fulfil that bride's role, but he sees that as a failure in himself, not the role. It's not just that "Stede left, so Ed will never have a dream wedding and might as well die." Stede left when Ed was honest and vulnerable, "proving" what his trauma and depression tell him: there's one image of love (of personhood), and he'll never live up to it because he's fundamentally deficient. So he might as well die.

This hit me from my very first viewing. The scene is devastating, because Ed is wrong, and we know it! He doesn't need to change or reduce himself to fit an image and be accepted (as, eg, Izzy demanded). Stede knows and loves him exactly as he is; it's the main thread and theme of season two!

(@/everyonegetcake suggested that Ed's yearning in these scenes includes his broader desire for the vulnerability and safety Stede offered, literalised through unattainable "fine" things like the status of gentleman in s1, or the figurine's blue dress. I'd argue, though, that these scenes don't incorporate this beyond a general knowledge of Ed's character. Ed is always pining for both literal and emotional softness, but the significance of the figurines specifically, to both Ed and the audience, is poisoned by their origin and context: there is no positive fantasy in the bride figure, only Ed's perceived deficiency.

Further, assuming that a desire for vulnerability necessarily corresponds with an explicit desire for femininity, dresses, etc, kind of contradicts the major themes of the show. OFMD asserts that there is nothing wrong with men assuming femininity (through drag, self-care, nurturing, emotional vulnerability, etc), but also that many of these traits are, in fact, genderless, and should be available to men without affecting their perceived or actual masculinity. It thematically invokes the potential for cross-gender expression in Ed's desires, especially through the transgender echoes in his relieved disposal, then comfortable reincorporation, of the Blackbeard leathers/identity. It's a rich, valuable area of analysis and exploration. But it remains a suggestion, not a canon or on-screen trait.)

Importantly, the groom figure doesn't fit Stede, either. Not just in dress: it's stiff and formal, and marriage nearly killed him. He's shabbier now, yes, but also shedding his privilege and property, embracing his queerness, and trying to take responsibility for his community. In a s1 flashback, Stede hesitantly says, "I thought that, when I did marry, it could be for love," but he would never find love in marriage. Not just because he's gay, but because marriage in OFMD is an oppressive, transactional institution that precludes love altogether. All formal marriages in OFMD are loveless.

So, he becomes a pirate, where they reject society altogether and have matelotages instead. Lucius and Pete's "mateys" ceremony is shot and framed not like a wedding, but as an honest, personal bond, willingly conducted in community (in a circle; no presiding authority, procession, or transaction).

That is how Stede and Ed can find love, companionship, and happiness: by rejecting those figurines and their oppressive exchange of property, overseen by a church that enables colonialism and abuse. Ed is loved, and deserves happiness, as he is, no paint or projection required.

ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY: draw Ed in dresses! Write him getting gender euphoria in skirts! Write trans/nb Ed, draw men being feminine! Gender is fake, the show invites exploration, that's what 'transformative works' means! But please, stop citing the cake toppers as evidence it's canon. Stop citing a scene where a depressed Māori man gets drunk and projects himself onto a rich, white, silent bride because he thinks he's innately unlovable and only people like her can find happiness, shortly before deciding to kill himself, as canon evidence it's what he wants.

(Also, please don't come in here with "lmao we're just having fun," I know, I get it. Unfortunately, I'm an academiapilled researchmaxxer, and some of youse need to remember that the word "canon" has meaning. NOW GO HAVE FUN PUTTING THAT MAN IN A PRETTY DRESS!! 💖💖)

[slythereen]

lestappen playing padel publicly… rbr and christian posting lestappen content… openly supporting their friendship all of a sudden… do you think christian horner sent max on an extraction mission

[feralglitch]

Martyn's Watcher lore is extra funny if you assume that he's the only one person in the server at unease with the circumstances.

Think about it. The man is having a full on existencial breakdown, the foundations of his very core split open and all, whilst everybody else is totally on board with repeatedly murdering their friends for sport.

[iguessitsjustme]

This is off the top of my head of shows that should have had some sort of poly but instead were cowards. (im kidding i love these shows pls don’t shoot me)

[hella1975]

born to write fanfiction forced to go to pilates

[neonfretra]

baseball art truly making me feel like a snail being given an entire cucumber… i shall survive the winter

GOOD LUCK WITH THE OFF SEASON... SURVIVE...

you know whats really funny is that i up and ran a hockey blog when i have had more IRL run ins with baseball than hockey. this isnt saying much about either sport. between all these run ins is a physical object that i think of as a religious effigy. just as dusty as one too! ill let you guess which sport that is LOL

[ratatatastic]

local man haunts (me) open practise yet again more news at 11

[typosandtea]

OC SPEECH MANNERISMS

Thanks for the tag @bokatan ^_^

I tag @charliesvarietyhour @fablewritesnonsense @sirmanmister @secondhand-lions @wasteland-wrecker (so many people have already been tagged lol)

-> Not including Nathan since he barely speaks now he’s mutated

Tango

NO. OF SPOKEN LANGUAGES: 1 / 2* / 3 (two if robot/binary counts)

TONE OF VOICE: high / average / deep (power armour modulated phill Coulson basically)

ACCENT: Yes* (notably electronic/robotic sounding, even with a massive range of tone etc)/ No

DEMEANOR: confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other

POSTURE: slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed

HABITS: head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing (anyone who hangs out with them for any length of time quickly learns to be out of accidental slapping distance.. power armour accidental backhand hurts!) / arm crossing / strokes chin / er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at a distance

COMPLEXITY

VOCABULARY: ⬤⬤⬤〇〇

EMOTION: ⬤⬤⬤〇〇

SENTENCE STRUCTURE: ⬤〇〇〇〇

PROFANITY

FREQUENCY: ⬤⬤⬤〇〇

CREATIVITY (in regards to profanity): ⬤〇〇〇〇

BOLD ALL THAT APPLY: arse. ass. asshole. bastard. (Don’t be a little)bitch. bloody. bugger. bollocks. chicken shit. crap. cunt. dick. frick. fuck. horseshit. motherfucker. piss. prick. screw. shit. shitass. son of a bitch. twat. wanker. pussy.

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

DO PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING OR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHARACTER? - almost always / frequently / rarely / never

DOES YOUR CHARACTER'S INTENDED POINT COME ACROSS EASILY WHEN THEY SPEAK? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER INITIATE CONVERSATIONS? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / never.

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE THE ONE TO END CONVERSATIONS? - almost always (if Tangos not vibing time to hit da bricks)/ frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE 'WHOM' IN A SENTENCE? - yes / no / only ironically

YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO MAKE A COUNTERPOINT. WHAT WORD DO THEY USE? - but / though / although / however / perhaps / mayhaps.

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER END CONVERSATIONS? - walk away / ask if that's everything / say that's everything / give a proper goodbye (reserved for the few people Tango considered a friend) / tell their company they're done here / remain quiet / they don't.

WHAT SOCIAL CLASS WOULD OTHERS ASSUME YOUR CHARACTER BELONGS TO, HEARING THEM SPEAK? - upper / middle / lower. (Average tech-scavenging wastelander by voice alone)

IN WHAT WAYS DOES THE WAY YOUR CHARACTER SPEAK STAND OUT TO OTHERS? - accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / it doesn't.

Murphy

NO. OF SPOKEN LANGUAGES: 1 / 2 / 3

TONE OF VOICE: high / average / deep (deeper than you expect for how short she is though)

ACCENT: Yes / No (strong Aussie)

DEMEANOR: confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other

POSTURE: slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed

HABITS: head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing / arm crossing / strokes chin / er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at a distance

COMPLEXITY

VOCABULARY: ⬤⬤⬤⬤〇

EMOTION: ⬤⬤⬤⬤⬤

SENTENCE STRUCTURE: ⬤⬤⬤〇〇

PROFANITY

FREQUENCY: ⬤⬤〇〇〇

CREATIVITY (in regards to profanity): ⬤⬤⬤⬤〇

BOLD ALL THAT APPLY: arse(move ur arse, well that bit me in arse). ass. asshole. bastard. bitch. bloody. bugger. bollocks. chicken shit. crap. cunt. dick. frick. fuck(fuckin, for fucks sake, fuckin hell). horseshit. motherfucker. piss(piss off). prick. screw. shit(shit a brick). shitass. son of a bitch. twat. wanker. pussy. (heck, oh heck)

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

DO PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING OR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHARACTER? - almost always / frequently / rarely / never (strong foreign accent + lots of slang + fast talker)

DOES YOUR CHARACTER'S INTENDED POINT COME ACROSS EASILY WHEN THEY SPEAK? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never. (3 int 10 charisma)

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER INITIATE CONVERSATIONS? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / never.

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE THE ONE TO END CONVERSATIONS? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE 'WHOM' IN A SENTENCE? - yes / no / only ironically

YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO MAKE A COUNTERPOINT. WHAT WORD DO THEY USE? - but / though / although / however / perhaps / mayhaps.

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER END CONVERSATIONS? - walk away(or fly away, rude) / ask if that's everything / say that's everything / give a proper goodbye / tell their company they're done here(being rude) / remain quiet / they don't.

WHAT SOCIAL CLASS WOULD OTHERS ASSUME YOUR CHARACTER BELONGS TO, HEARING THEM SPEAK? - upper / middle / lower.

IN WHAT WAYS DOES THE WAY YOUR CHARACTER SPEAK STAND OUT TO OTHERS? - accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / it doesn't.

[7yearsofdele]

I will never be an advocate of team orders.

If you’re faster, then overtake. We are here to race after all.

[springtrappd]

I wish you tagged Vanessa separately from Vanny. I don’t care about the rabbit just the white woman inside her

if you can't handle her at her worst (trauma-induced forcefursona representing both the worst parts of her life and freest parts of herself) then you don't deserve her at her best (slouched in an armchair rocking the sluttiest butch fit possible and knocking back a can of chuhai while affectionately heckling gregory from across the room)

[tenitchyfingers]

ok i found this on the beatles subreddit and i really hate men atm (because you know this is straight white men saying this shit)

BITCH MCLENNON HAS A LONG AND ANCIENT HISTORY AND MCLENNON SHIPPERS ARE THE WHOLE BACKBONE OF THE BEATLES' WORLDWIDE SUCCESS FUCK YOUUUU