#massive work rant

[gemmasdeadwife]

Pre-post disclaimer that I’m absolutely not someone who ships either markgemma or markhelly to the exclusion of the other, or wants one out of the way. I hate that shit and both relationships are extremely important. I do like to speculate about them without that burden of being pressured to pick one and shit on the other.

A lot of people are talking about how Mark and Gemma are now too different for their marriage to ever work again. Which is totally valid and makes sense, and something I’ve thought about a lot myself. It’s such a normal, everyday tragedy for relationships to be broken by trauma, distance, change. But… what if it’s actually the opposite…?

Which I know is a mega fucked thing to say about endless torture! But idk… I think for Mark it could put their struggles with infertility into perspective. Obviously that was huge and traumatic, but maybe there was no need for it to eclipse their marriage- there was so much more to it than that. And I think he’s learning (VERY SLOWLY) to confront his obstacles head-on instead of running away and lashing out at his loved ones. I think it would be hard for him to ever take her for granted again, and if he started to slip that way, it wouldn’t take a lot of reminding for him to shape up.

Gemma of course didn’t really need to change- that’s the bigger part of the problem here to me. Maybe she was a little naïve for getting into the Lumon stuff that she did, but how could she have possibly known? She was just analyzing interesting little puzzles, a welcome distraction from feeling so hopeless. If she did display any naïveté, I think there’s pretty much zero chance of that ever cropping up again after what she’s been through.

The biggest issues still are the trauma and how much they’ve each changed. Is their trauma around each other, and their pedestalization of each other while they were apart, too great for them to have a relationship again? I think it could go either way. For one thing, the trauma is going to be difficult with all of their relationships going forward, including Mark and Helly too. I don’t believe that the deeply traumatized can’t love properly- it just takes a fuckton of work.

Changing over time is also a problem in any long term relationship, though it’s harder when you’re not together through the change, and this is more unusual and fucked up than being apart during a deployment or something. I think they will have to get to know each other all over again very carefully, gently and gradually. It’s natural if there are some missteps along the way. They aren’t the same people they were before the “death,” and they aren’t the idolized versions of each other they pined over through separation, either. And that will either result in falling in love in a whole new way, or else realizing romance doesn’t make sense between them anymore, but remaining family- I think that bond between them is too strong to become nothing, but it could transform.

[destinationtoast]

I stumbled upon this... Thing by what looks like an actual journalism outfit, or at least their infographics wing. Thoughts?

https://pudding.cool/2024/10/fanfic/

Sighhhhh. Thanks for sharing this link (and then waiting three months for a reply, lol). I happened to have seen this one near to when it came out, but I am always glad to have people share such things with me!

So I have complicated, but partly "ARGH," thoughts about this article. And I ranted about it in some detail in Slack when I first read it. I initially didn't reply to this ask because I was trying to go back through the logs to find some of my specific past complaints, but they were lost to the mists of the Slack paywall. But here is my main complaint, roughly approximating the way that I probably ranted in Slack, for your enjoyment/excess punctuation needs:

There's so much data visualization here! And ship artwork, and interactivity, and more -- so much time clearly went into this!! But it's over-extrapolating!! from one data set!! of the top ships on onLY ONE FANDOM PLATFORM!!!! About which they gave no caveats or historical context when extrapolating to "what fans ship and why"!!!!!! When a bunch of fans have written about what fans ship and why, and in some cases gathered data about how platforms differ, and some other fandom journalists have cited that work!!!!!!! Why did these folks not do more research first before diving into all that data visualization, especially if they're journalists???????? ARGH.

But also...

At the same time, this is it's so close to just being really cool! There is some nifty analysis in here, including about things like canonicity and changes over time! I want more of this kind of deep dive out there, and more analysis, and more visualization! And there are some cool links to both scholarly and journalistic writing about fandom, in addition to citing/making use of Lulu's demographically detailed AO3 ship stats. So it's an interesting meaty read, if you keep in mind the limitations.

@olderthannetfic and I co-presented at GeekGirlCon 2019 about differences among some popular fandom platforms (among other things). Here is one of the most relevant graphs for caveating the Pudding article about shipping and "what fandom ships":

Franzi has also gathered a bunch of other data on differences between AO3 and FFN, and her earlier work on platform differences inspired some of my cross-platform comparisons about shipping, genres, languages. (@olderthannetfic please chime in with other relevant links if you want to, especially if you have more recent data!)

One of the things the Pudding shared that I found interesting was their comparison between the most common tags in M/M, F/M, and F/F:

[x] Nice to see more than just the top 10 tags, and interesting to see them categorized. I have gathered some related data about common AO3 tags in each of these categories, but I have to finish writing that up and sharing it. (That's one of my WIP resolutions for this year.) But I did share some data about the differences in the relative amount of use of smutty and kinky tags on AO3 between the three shipping categories:

(A commenter recently reminded me of one of my conclusions: "Everyone has butts, but only pairs of dudes seem very likely to touch or lick or fuck them." XD )

I find it interesting that F/M fic is most likely to tag Rough Sex and D/s! But of course, tagging behavior is not the same as what's being written about. And this is just AO3 data, and sometimes relatively low numbers of it, so definitely not representative of fandom at large. :)

(...this all this reminds me how much I want to get back to this work and look more at other differences between the shipping categories!)

ANYWAY. That was possibly a longer answer than you wanted, and several months later than you were probably expecting. XD But I appreciate you sharing the link and asking!

[deoidesign]

Wait wait wait, I saw in your tags that's Time and Time Again is ending soon? But I've only just found it! (through the animation you did, it and your comic are so well done)

Ah, yeah.

So by "soon" I really mean "sooner than I think I would like" and it feels much sooner to me as the writer than I think it will to you all as the readers.

But, Time and Time Again is pretty much exactly 2/3 of the way through right now. Webtoon gave me the end date before I even finished my first season, and I've been trying to fit in all the things I wanted to get into the story before it ends...

It's why my hiatus has been taking so long, I'm trying to write to get as many moments and as much development as I possibly can, with really limited time! And... also admittedly to prolong how much longer it's sort of "around" in my life.

Because I know once it is over, I'll move on to the next comic! and 3 years just doesn't feel long enough to have Adam and Steve in my life haha

But, yeah. it's getting "close" in a way that it's starting to make me sad. like this time next year it'll probably be over.

It's okay of course, it's the nature of stories that they will end. I'm working really hard to make it satisfying despite Everything, and I'm really proud of everything I've done so far.

And my next comic will be even better for what I've learned here!

So, sorry to everyone, but I promise I'm gonna make it worth it.

[regulationhottie7905]

Another example: Nico apologizing to piper at the end of tsats was SUCH bullshit. Piper is an amazing character, but her and Leo were both very cruel to Nico- there’s even a seen in thoh where Jason scolds them a bit for making fun of him behind his back. Iirc, Piper and Nico never even have a friendly conversation- they only talk about battle/strategy stuff. They were never friends. Nico was struggling with PTSD, depression, an (implied) ed, etc etc… of course it didn’t cross his mind to reach out to his older-brother-figure’s ex girlfriend to comfort her. (Also if he has to apologize to Piper, why didn’t he apologize to Leo? Leo was one of Jason’s best friends and Nico never reached out to him.) It was a completely unnecessary and nonsensical scene and it seemed to imply that Piper’s grief was somehow more valid than Nico’s or even Leo’s. If it ended with Piper and Nico connecting over their grief- THAT would have been interesting. But that ending was a slap in the face

(I recently lost my dad and I’ve been in similar situations. It was like a punch in the gut to read. I’m very disappointed in the ways that rick took tsats. It definitely feels like he only knows how to write in Percy’s voice and completely rewrote aspects of Nico’s character, voice, and timeline for convenience)

[hayconrisa]

ummmm post-canon grace x bam? can anybody hear me? i know it's a crackship but they actually have so much potential if you think about it.

[mysteryampharos]

Tell us about your favorite character?

i really love dusknoir and ampharos from the pokemon mystery dungeon series, but after playing Rainworld, i can wholeheardtedly say that the base game + downpour made five pebbles into one of my all-time favorite characters! i was gonna avoid spoilers, but ill inevitably speak about it, so ill just do two spoiler-free paragraphs first! and then go insane

for half of the campaigns in the game, i was his BIGGEST hater. i think the order you play certain campaigns in probably affects how you feel about certain characters, and boy, my choice of sequence was NOT doing him any favors. he was like a catalyst to speed up the decay of the dying world, both when it came to the enviroment itself, and other characters. he had without fail harmed all but one character he interacted with by that point.

and then. . i played the last two campaigns. with a few pearl reading sessions prior to going through them, the closer i got to finishing the game, the more my thoughts on him changed. granted, the game DID give me enough clues, but it wasnt until getting to see what happened in these campaigns that his character clicked for me. five pebbles is a surprisingly tragic character, and the dlc makes an excellent use of him to weave a beautiful narrative together with Looks to the Moon. words cannot describe how incredible and life-changing playing this game felt. (spoilers below the cut! dont read if you haven't finished rivulet and saint's campaign)

five pebbles is a rat in a cage. he tried everything he thought of to try and find an escape to the eternal life the ancients condemned the iterators to, and he did succeed in killing an iterator.

it just wasn't him.

so moon dies and is left in a worser state than ever before after being 'revived' by hunter, and now he has a ticking time bomb in the form of The Rot spreading through his superstructure and the garbage wastes like a cancerous plague. he keeps himself cut off from all and any means of contact and with the exception of artificer, is somewhat hostile to the slugcats.

it takes rivulet's campaign, where the rot has almost entirely overtaken most of the can, that his attitude changes. he is still the same as before, but much more. . sorrowful, regretful. at this point in the game, he and moon switch places: he falls deeper and deeper to disrepair while moon starts restoring her functions and communications. he's forced to sit still during rivu's campaign, but otherwise, five pebbles is largely fine when it comes to his neurons or mind.

so when i told you i cried during saint's campaign.

it was already customary. every single campaign after monk, i'd beeline for five pebbles, seeing as he was always involved somehow. so, i climb up chimney canopy as i always do to get to him through the wall, and: there it is. the infamous room

the entire right section connecting to his superstructure is gone. not even damaged or anything: it's completely vanished. and the game makes sure you feel dread the moment you see this. already, not a good sing: but hey! maybe that just fell like the underhang did. theres still another path to go through.

i hate shaded citadel, but its the only other way i know how to get there. still, i took a detour to moon first before going there, since i knew shoreline had a gate! i visited her, and was on my merry way. . until i get to the gate. something is off right away.

the path is different. sure, that's normal in this campaign, but it wasnt like the overgrowth or other snowy areas: the entire structure of the area. . was very different. its like something crushed in. the deeper i go toward the gate, the more confused and conflicted i get. i cross the gate, and the name shows up on the screen..

Silent Construct.

its like things clicked for me a second time, and it was at that point i paused the game just to think about it for a few seconds. Five Pebbles' superstructure collapsed and crushed the ENTIRETY of Shaded Citadel. the only sign of life left was a weird combination of wildlife from the exterior and shaded citadel itself, with barely any rot left. this was both one of the highlights of the whole game to me, and one of the most emotional. theres 100% gonna be echoes here, so im gonna go ahead and look for that: but five pebbles is priority.

this is one of the most interesting regions in the game to me. maybe not the most fun (I HATE THIS GAME'S SPIDER ENEMIES SO MUCH) but thematically and symbolically? second best region. i dedicated half of the time i had that sunday just to find him, and sure enough..

he is in a state even worser than how moon was when she fell to disrepair. a supercomputer degraded to a barely sentient puppet who can't remember much of anything. the only thing that remains is the music pearl hes playing, and if the player wants to,

you can take that away from him too.

is downpour canon? i don't know nor remember! will i consider it canon regardless because this was one of the greatest gaming and life experiences ive ever had? you fucking BET. i love you five pebbles im sorry for calling you a littlebitch when we first met

[14dayswithyou]

Bro i was listening to Taylor swift and ‘don’t blame me’ song reminded me of Rin deadass

✦゜ANSWERED: YEAHHHHH!! IT TOTALLY FITS HIM!! @yourunhingedgirlfriend once made a Ren mood board(?) including that song as well, and it hasn't left my mind since ^^ <3

But yeah!! I still stand by the headcanon that [REDACTED] is in his Reputation era and Ren is in his Lover era ;v; Also, in this 391,490,009 page essay I will be talking about how "Mastermind" and "Hey Stephen (Taylor's Version)" are such Ren/[REDACTED] coded songs, and that the entire Evermore and Folklore albums were the inspiration behind Elanor's charac-

[corporalkiheart]

A relatively new problem in paediatrics is that as technology improves, as we have better early detection and better therapies, more of our patients are surviving to adulthood (which is fantastic!!!) but the adult medical world is woefully underprepared to support these people.

I’ve known so many colleagues with so many stories about how they transitioned someone to adult care who had been doing really well, who then died within a couple months. We care for children until age 16, but many of our kids with chronic and complex conditions we keep until 18/19 in the hospital - and for those with life-limiting conditions some people will continue to see them in clinic until they die.

I don’t think this is individual adult physicians’ fault, but it does show an inability of the system to support adults with disabilities compared to children - it’s harder to get, for example, daily chest physio, good multidisciplinary care, carers at home to the true extent that they are needed. It’s also related to a lack of knowledge, which to some degree is fair - many adult physicians didn’t learn about cerebral palsy, or many of the epilepsy or genetic syndromes, because those people just didn’t live to see an adult neurologist in the past.

However, this is no excuse. The world has changed for the better, people who used to die at 5 are reaching adulthood! But the medical world needs to adapt and improve and make room so that these gains can continue well into adulthood.

The world isn’t kind to anyone with disabilities, but particularly to adults. The lack of support is egregious but, in my opinion, fixable.

[bluevaractyl]

It's a good thing I've got decent spelling and grammar skills, because the spellcheckers on Word and Docs have both become worse than useless, at least for any sort of creative writing. Suggested changes include:

"he thrashed" to "he was thrashed"

"he sort of wished" to "he sorts of wished"

"the light felt blinding" to "the light felt blind"

"[heavy noun] lightened" to "[heavy noun] lit up"

"heading to the room with the table" to "heading to the table"

"they must have planned for this" to "they must have planned this"

"memories were seeping in" to "memories were sleeping in"

"as they were tying a tourniquet" to "as they were trying another tourniquet"

"an annoyed noise" to "an annoying noise"

"spoonfuls" to "spoonful's"

"angle" to "angel"

"leaned in" to "learned in"

all of which entirely change the meaning of the sentence. The only suggestion from about 300 that I accepted was "he" to "the."

[noirtek]

the fact that the iz fanbase is still at each other’s necks over ZADR is so. to me

[sandsucks]

god please take all my suffering and give it to jiraiya

[anonygowose]

heeheeheee so normal about my bugsnax fixation coming back after 4 years omg my brain is so them <33

[panicbones]

i think one of the biggest most egregiously contradicting shit religion wise ive seen is big ass (christrian esque) churches actively putting up wards against homeless people. bro i thought your whole thing was helping the needy what the hell is this

[sniffanimal]

being an underpaid, broke, worker in a thankless job hits different when you're a public servant. id love to slack off and do the bare minimum and waste my employers time but unfortunately that just results in ableism against children and not epic pwnage on capitalism. [thunks my head against the desk]

[dwellsinthebog]

switched art programs without backing up my wips. now they are all lost to the void </3