#marymjwatson

[spiderxling]

@marymjwatson

Holy crap, was he really going to do this?

Peter had made up his mind and then second-guessed himself about ten times in the past hour. It was kind of spur of the moment-- kind of. He had been trying to think of the right time to tell her, then would start to feel bad that he had waited so long, and then he would panic and tell himself to forget about it until he could think about it rationally. That time never really came, but tonight seemed like the best night possible.

May was working an extra shift tonight so Peter had the apartment to himself. His aunt was nice enough to leave him dinner in the fridge so he popped it in the microwave and then paced around the kitchen, staring at the screen of his phone. It wasn’t until the timer went off for his food that he realized he stopped moving as he typed, and in a moment of random adrenaline he press send:

{ hey! }

{ may isn’t home and i don’t have much homework tonight, you want to come over and hang out? }

{ also there’s something i want to show you }

After clicking the screen off, Peter flipped his phone over and set it down a little too hard on the counter so he wouldn’t stare at it until MJ answered. Instead, he grabbed his food and started shoveling it into his mouth like a heathen.

[spiider-dad]

@marymjwatson

If you were to ask 15 year old Peter Parker where he thought he would be in 22 years, he wouldn’t have much of an answer for you. Not a coherent one at least. As a kid he worried a lot ( not that he didn’t worry now ) and truthfully, he had no clue where he wanted to be when he was almost 40. Sure, he had goals and he had hopes but there were always so many doubts that cast their shadow over everything else.

He definitely hadn’t pictured himself divorced, a picture perfect stereotypical version of the ‘my life has fallen apart but here I am!’ kind of person. Even though his marriage with Mary Jane had cracked apart, Peter still loved her. He loved her like no one else, and the reason they split was because of his fear. Maybe he would never quite shake it, but he could work through it when it really mattered. And this really mattered.

Peter’s hands were practically shaking as he gathered stuff together in the kitchen. As he shoved everything into his biggest bag ( no, not a picnic basket because those things don’t stay closed and he wasn’t about to drop random food items on unsuspecting citizens ) he realized he probably bought too much, but he made it all fit. The zipper barely closed. But it did close.

After triple checking Peter swung the over-stuffed backpack over his shoulder and pulled out his phone to text MJ that he was on his way to their meeting spot in the park. He hadn’t told her where exactly they would end up but it definitely wasn’t the park-- there was no such thing as a normal picnic when there was a Spider-Man involved. 

He arrived a few minutes early and took a seat on a park bench, watching as people walked by and stared confusingly as the fully suited up chubby Spider-Man sitting in the park with a large backpack. He waved to a few of them. They ignored him. So Peter took out his phone and texted MJ again to let her know he got here early, then waited.

[spideyclone]

@marymjwatson​

Ben felt a bit bad dragging her around like he did. She kissed him and he kissed her and then he kinda freaked out a little and realized that this was messy.. even though it already was messy before. He dragged them out of the party and immediately headed to his room-- which, thankfully, was right in the same building. He had been aching to get out of the crowd anyway. At least here he wouldn’t have that to worry about.

Once they made their way down the quiet hallway, Ben pulled them into his room and quickly shut the door behind them, plastering his back to it and pausing there for a few moments.

“Uh, okay-- sorry about that. I just figured we should get out of there? This was the first place I thought of.” Ben moved away from the door, rubbing his neck with one hand and smiling awkwardly while his cheeks flushed. “Welcome to my room I guess? Not that, you know, we were gonna do anything. I mean, we can talk here, you know?”

[lord-imperial-blog]

“I’m terribly sorry for my ignorance, but who is gone?”

“Of course I care that they’re gone. I just – I can’t sit around and cry. We have to keep living, right?”

[emcraldoath]

[ text ] Wow, way too much information

[spiider-dad]

@marymjwatson

Peter always got so distracted while shopping. Today he had stopped on the way home to get stuff for dinner and ended up with dinner, brownies, flowers, and a random pack of Spider-Man stickers that were too cheesy to ignore. Yeah, he bought his own merch but he never did anything with it. That was just his thing.

With all the groceries in one hand being held together as he pressed it underneath his chin, Peter grabbed his keys from his pocket and managed to get himself inside without dropping anything. It was pretty quiet inside-- at first he wondered if MJ was even home yet but then he heard some shuffling in the bathroom and smiled, knowing full well she was treating herself with a bath practically overflowing with bubbles.

Peter set the groceries down on the kitchen counter and grabbed the flowers before heading down the hall. It was quiet, so he knocked lightly on the door a few times before opening it and peaking his head in. He tried to not move too far in just yet, as he was holding the bouquet behind him and it was huge and noisy ( with it being wrapped in newspaper, of course ).

“Hey babe, can I come in?”

[spiderxling]

@marymjwatson

Time couldn’t really be measured anymore. Not how Peter wanted to measure it, not how he remembered measuring it-- and definitely not with an eight year gap separating him from everyone around him. For most of his life, Peter believed that time was relatively easy to understand, even with the theories about how it could be bent or messed with. It was fun to imagine what it would be like to go back in time or jump ahead, to let your mind wander in hypotheticals. But hypotheticals became all too real when you were a superhero. And after barely a year of living with his abilities, Peter learned that lesson the hard way.

Suddenly there was a 15 year old kid mixed up in twisted realities, alien invasions, and end of the world scenarios. Peter was face to face with the things he dreamed up when he was a kid-- men flying around in suits of metal, giant green monsters, gods come to life, spies with all their secrets, century old super soldiers, and mutants who held reality in the palm of their hand. Anything was possible. And when they all reached the end of the world, Peter wasn’t ready to believe it. Not for real.

But he had to believe it. He had to believe that he aged 8 years overnight-- that he felt like mix matched pieces of a puzzle that had been glued together in the wrong order, and that he didn’t feel right in his own skin. The world didn’t feel real. Time didn’t feel real. He didn’t even feel real. But he remembered: anything was possible.

Everyday that Peter existed on Battleworld, he learned more about the life he had lived while the real him floated in stasis. At first it was all shock and awe at the people he found and the things that had changed-- bursts of emotion that caught him off guard every single time. But now he was trying to focus on the details in a desperate attempt to mature almost a decade in the span of a few days. What was inside his head didn’t match what people saw on the outside, and he didn’t want to let anyone down. Or freak anyone out. Or seem stupid or small or weak-- everything that 15 year old him was.

People were on to him-- which in one way, wasn’t the worst thing in the world. If they were going to get anywhere, they needed people to believe that they didn’t belong here. But Peter was still terrified that something would go horribly wrong along the way.

One thing that Peter couldn’t risk was losing Mary Jane. Fake reality or not, he knew he couldn’t screw that up. He would never forgive himself if he did. He could tell that she knew something was off with him-- which wasn’t surprising. You spend eight years with someone, get used to them and their little habits and routines only to have them suddenly regress back to their high school mentality-- you’re bound to notice. MJ had grown up and just gotten more beautiful and more wonderful, even with the virus she had been infected with. If Peter were to be honest, he really had no clue why she stayed with him for eight years. She could be with anyone she wanted, and she chose him. Damn right he was lucky.

And it appeared that 24 year old Peter still knew that as well. One day while he was snooping around their room ( yes, their room-- living together meant that they shared a room and a bed, which he was still getting used to on nights when he could actually sleep ) he found a small cardboard box tucked away between a pile of folded clothes in the corner of the closet. They looked to be older clothes-- stuff he wore when he was younger and still fit, but weren’t what he used as often. A pretty good hiding spot, all considered. Apparently he was still bad at that after all these years.

Upon his discovery, Peter traveled to the bed and sat himself down with the box in his lap. He lifted the lid off without hesitation and found two smaller boxes inside. Jewelry boxes, actually. But that small detail didn’t click right away, and when he flipped open the lid of one of them he was.. surprised.

That was a really pretty ring. Like, really pretty. With a stone in the middle and everything. It kinda looked like a wedding ring. But why would he have a wedding ring tucked away----

Nope. Not a wedding ring. An engagement ring. Older-Peter had engagement rings tucked away-- and this one was MJ’s.

Holy shit.

Peter forgot how to breathe for a second. And he was panicking. And he was freaking out, and his hands were shaking and quickly he closed the ring box to stuff it back into the box he found it in, setting it off to the side. Older-Peter had planned on asking Mary Jane to marry him. 

To him, it had been only been months since they said “I love you” for the first time. Only a few months more since they kissed the first time. Yes, Peter loved her. But he was 15-- wait, 16 now? He was supposed to be a junior in high school and still hadn’t fully gotten through puberty. Marriage was about the last thing on his mind-- no, scratch that. Marriage wasn’t on his mind at all. But eight years is a long time to be with someone. He shouldn’t have been surprised that his older self wanted to marry her. But this was way too complicated.

So. Older Peter probably knew what he was doing. They were already living together, right? They talked about it already? Was MJ just sitting around waiting for him to ask? Maybe that was one more thing that made him seem off-- because he hadn’t proposed yet. Oh my god-- oh my god he needed to propose to her. Right? Right.

Peter figured he could plan it all in a day. Give himself a day, that seems fair right? Doing it right then, having just found the rings, would have been disastrous. They didn’t need that. And proposals aren’t supposed to be big, right? Well some end up on YouTube and get millions of views and draw big crowds so maybe they are supposed to be big.

No, no MJ wouldn’t want it to be big. Not like that. Not when it’s just supposed to be for the two of them. Peter could at least tell himself he was right about that-- he knew her well enough to figure that out. He hoped.

When Mary Jane got home that night Peter asked her if they could meet for lunch the next day-- there was a small park nearby that was usually not too busy, and was pretty enough. He asked if they could meet there, 1:00 pm he said, but he told her not to stress if she wasn’t feeling well enough to go ( maybe he wouldn’t even feel well enough to go ). That was step one. Was he even doing this right? Maybe he could ask May for some advice ( while simultaneously trying not to sound like a lost little boy talking about his crush ).

When he asked her for help he kept it vague, not really saying what he was up to or why he wanted to dress up a bit but now at least he knew he didn’t look like a hot mess on the outside when he felt like it on the inside. They had gone through his wardrobe ( which now consisted of more than just Uncle Ben’s nicer clothes that May hadn’t gotten rid of ) and Peter was now anxiously heading towards the meeting site sporting something that May called ‘classy’: black dress pants and shoes, a white dress shirt with the sleeves neatly rolled up to his elbows, and a navy blue skinny tie. He had to admire himself in the mirror for a few minutes before he left, but then he didn’t want to be late.

The rings were in the left pocket of his pants ( should he have brought both or just hers? if she said no then this was going to be really weird ) and had a large bouquet of flowers that he carried with both hands. Miraculously, he managed to arrive a few minutes early. There was a bench nearby that he could have relaxed on while he waited, but Peter wasn’t exactly relaxed. He was anxious. Panicking. Again. But what else was new?

It was a beautiful day for this. But he suddenly felt as if his entire body was going to cave in on itself as he waited and paced back and forth behind the bench. There was a huge chance he was going to screw this up royally-- he was only 16 for goodness sake. Well, he felt 16. And he was not prepared, but if this is where their relationship was supposed to go then it needed to happen. Can’t screw things up with them if this is really where they were going to live for the rest of their lives. And he did love her. 

Yeah, he needed to do this.

Deep breaths, Parker. Deep breaths.

[spiderxling]

@marymjwatson

Turns out the best option they had was stowing away in the room Tony kept for him at the Facility. [ May would get a lame excuse over text sometime during the night before she woke up. ]

Peter let MJ in the room and then quickly shut the door behind them, pausing with his hands still flat against the door for a few moments. He was still riding the slight adrenaline and anger from the party, but now he was equally as anxious that they were alone in a bedroom again. God, that sounded so lame.

“The room’s kinda boring--- actually this is only like, the second time I’ve used it.” He shrugged, pulling away from the small talk. “Are you okay, MJ?”

[spiderxling]

@marymjwatson​

How had he been so stupid? She had been right there, right behind him, an arms reach away--- If he had just reacted her faster or found her sooner---

Gwen would still be alive. That was a fact. If Peter had been better, Gwen would be sleeping in bed at home right now, not dead. She had a future, a family, a life, friends-- she was supposed to live past the age of 16. She was supposed to go to college and be her brilliant self. But Peter had taken that away from her. All of it. Because he hadn’t done enough.

After getting Gwen out of the school, Peter left. Not right away, but he left alone and without warning. He could barely see out of his mask because he was crying so much, but he couldn’t stand to be there anymore. That was selfish, and he knew it. 

He went straight home, climbing his way up their apartment building and opening the window from outside before collapsing on the top bunk of his bed. The mask came off and he threw it to the floor, eyes puffy from crying and staring unfocused at the ceiling. The room was dark and completely silent, which is exactly what Peter had been craving the entire way home, but now it was terrifying. 

The minutes ticked by and Peter stayed there, not really thinking and not really feeling, choosing instead to feel numb. Numb was better than guilt, than everything else that threatened to take over. But after a while he slowly sat up, ducking slight to not hit the ceiling and curling up tightly into the corner. One hand reached out and shot a web towards the light switch and turned it on with a faint flick of his wrist.

And then Peter sat there, hidden away in the corner of his top bunk, still in his suit and tears streaming silently but steadily down his face. Loose curls sat messily over his forehead and blocked his eyes, while his chin lay on top of his knees that were pulled tightly together with both arms. 

[spiderxling]

@marymjwatson​

The Guardians of the Galaxy did exactly what they needed to. It surprised Peter just a bit-- even with the name of their team, the group seemed a bit.. weird. Maybe it was just because most of them were aliens with different colored skin and a talking furry thing with a twig son. It was cool, really it was, but part of him cringed at the thought that they were the ones doing the saving this time around.

Peter waited anxiously-- he wasn’t called in, he wasn’t able to do much of anything (surprise surprise), and when they all finally came back it seemed too surreal. Immediately he ran to Tony, asking about MJ amongst the group that had been saved from the Skrull ship. Tony told him to calm down, take a beat and maybe sit for a second-- MJ was back and going to be okay, but he couldn’t see her just yet.

The wait was almost excruciating, but eventually he was given the green light to visit her. He felt light headed, almost dizzy, and completely overwhelmed but it all came together the moment he reached her door. 

Peter cracked open the door to her room and peeked in, not wanting to startle her. “Hey, MJ?”

[spiderxling]

@marymjwatson​

Peter didn’t want to go home. For a few hours he sat with Tony in his office-- were they talking? Had he just sat there? He couldn’t quite remember, but eventually he saw Tony pick up the phone and say he was going to call Aunt May, make up some explanation as to why Peter wouldn’t be coming home tonight. Instinctually he had leapt up and snatched to phone from Tony’s hands before he had the chance to dial-- that wouldn’t help anything. After a moment he pulled out his own phone and texted her that he would be stayed at a friend’s house tonight-- chem project or something. Whatever.

It was clear that Tony was also pretty upset about MJ. He rambled quietly about how he should have known, but Peter was kicking himself ten times harder. Sure, Tony was around her often enough but dammit, Peter was the one that should have noticed. It grew quiet in the office, Peter mindlessly fiddling with the zipper on his hoodie when suddenly Tony offered for him to go visit MJ’s alien lookalike. ‘If you’re that quiet, it means you’ve got too much on your mind, kid. Maybe you can get some of it out by talking to that.. thing. But only if you want to.’

Peter agreed, and Tony had walked him down, holding the door open for him and nodding in reassurance. Slowly Peter made his way over and felt that same cold creep up his limbs. He couldn’t make himself get any closer and stopped dead in his tracks about ten feet away from the cell without saying a word.

[spiderxling]

@marymjwatson​

Peter’s night hadn’t exactly gone the way he anticipated. It started out fine, he got the job done eventually, but there was a snag somewhere in the middle that ended up with him walking away with a nice slash to his abdomen. At first he didn’t think much of it-- it didn’t hurt much and the blood didn’t make much of an impact visually (the cons of having a red colored suit). It wasn’t until he was about halfway home that the pain hit, so he took a moment’s pause on the roof of some building to check out what was going on. 

That was-- a nice amount of blood.

He panicked maybe just a bit.

In his slightly-panicked haze, something directed him away from home and towards MJ’s, but once he landed outside her window it became clear that it wasn’t exactly normal for your brightly costumed wall-climbing friend to randomly show up out of the blue. He hadn’t thought of that.

Peter hesitated outside her window, taking a seat on the balcony/fire escape railing while keeping one hand pressed against the still bleeding cut on his left. He took the opportunity to breathe and hastily comb the hair from his forehead as he sat, but after a few moments he shot one last look behind him and pulled out his phone to send her a text:

Hey look out your bedroom window, I have a surprise for you

[spiderxling]

@marymjwatson​

Alright, Peter-- you better figure out where you wanna eat today or your stomach will eat you from the inside out.

His stomach sounded like an earthquake ( or at least it did to him ). These powers were cool and all but being a teenager and having a faster metabolism was a lethal combination. Peter was hungry like, all the time. So when he was able, he liked to bring food with him whenever he went out in the suit. One time he almost last track of his sandwich bag when he was about ten floors high-- he saw his life flash before his eyes, gasped out loud as he caught it and imagined smooshed bread and pickles raining down on the innocent people below. But like the hero he was, he saved it. And then ate it. Not a bad day.

Today wasn’t too bad either. He found a spot with a nice view, not too high and not too close to the ground. It was starting to get later, the sun dying down but not gone just yet, which made the city really pretty. Peter Parker wasn’t so good around people but Spider-Man was an expert people watcher-- and not just because he needed to keep an eye out for future crimes. People were funny. They did silly things when they assumed no one was really paying attention. But people also smiled when they thought no one could see them, they did little things like pick up the trash someone dropped or pet a dog that passed them on the way home. People weren’t so bad when you were either saving them or watching from a distance.

Finally he was able to dig into his sandwich, stuffing his mouth a bit too full with the first bite. And the next bite. And maybe all of the bites after that too, but dang was it worth it. With a satisfied sigh, Peter pulled his mask back over his mouth and stood up, stretching his arms and bending his back and balancing on his toes before relaxing again. 

“Hey, Karen-- you there?”

‘Of course, Peter. I’m always here. You finished your sandwich already?’

“Uh.. yeah. I mean, I was hungry.”

‘That is your most common response.’

“Whatever, Karen, what do you know about sandwiches? Anyway, did Mr. Stark give you any upgrades yet? He said I should expect some this week and you would download ‘em for me.”

‘No, not yet. Sorry, Peter. But isn’t that your friend down there? The one you think is pretty?’

“Wait-- what?”

Peter took a glance down and sure enough, there was MJ. He felt his cheeks flush underneath the red fabric of his suit and he crouched down as if he needed to hide from her. “Sheesh, you remember everything don’t you? I-I only said that to you, like, once!”

‘No, you’ve said it on six separate occasions.’

“You’re keeping count? Oh my god, alright that’s-- that’s just great!”

‘I can stop counting if you wish. But aren’t you going to say hello?’

“Yes, please stop counting! And no! She doesn’t know it’s me, I can’t just waltz up to MJ and be like ‘hey, what’s up!’ she’d think I’m like, stalking her or something!”

‘You have been following her as you and I have talked.’

“Shh! I-- It’s-- just go away Karen! I’m making sure she gets home safe, okay!”

[spiderxling]

@marymjwatson​

Well, school was out. Peter couldn’t lie and tell you that he wasn’t one of the kids running out of the building with a smile on the last day, mostly because Ned was running ahead of him while letting out a victorious yell with his hands in the air. School kinda sucked-- sometimes. He liked it but he sometimes didn’t. A 16 year old kid with anxiety and a superhero secret identity was bound to come across speed bumps along the way, but the truth was that school at least gave him something to do. Whenever summer popped up, he always felt a bit of dread. Sure, he was Spider-Man now, and that helped. He loved it. But being a superhero didn’t fix all of his problems, even though he had the ability to help fix others’.

May was still working, of course, so during the day he had a lot of time to himself. It was hard to find something each day to keep his hands busy, because if his hands were busy his brain was busy too, which meant less dwelling on all that stupid stuff floating around in his head. Putting on the suit helped sometimes, but again, it wasn’t the magical fix to everything the teen was feeling. Eating lunch on the quiet rooftops of the city was a favorite habit of his but some days he didn’t want to move from his bed.

Today was one of those days.

It was a nice day. Peter had glanced out the window of his room a few times when he got up to go the bathroom after he heard May leave, and then when he made himself a sandwich a few hours later. An exciting day, right? There was a specification he wanted to check on the left web shooter on his suit, but that could wait. It wasn’t dire, and right now all he felt like doing was staring at the bottom of the top bunk of his bed, because what else was there to do? Eventually he plugged his headphones in and slipped them on and now at least he wasn’t sitting in silence, even if he was staring up at nothing with a half eaten sandwich on his chest.

Then his phone vibrated. He didn’t bother to check it at first, figuring it was just May asking how he was doing, and he didn’t know how to answer that. But he sighed, figuring she would just ask again if he didn’t send something back, and then he saw that it wasn’t May, it was MJ.

[ SOS MEET ME ITS AN EMERGENCY ! ]

Well, that wasn’t good.

Peter shot up from his position on the bed, his sandwich breaking apart and flinging off his chest and onto the floor in pieces. He smacked his head against that same bunk bed he had been staring at for two hours and then scrambled to his feet as he began peeling off his pajamas. There was mayonnaise on the floor and he was tripping over the cord to his headphones but he managed to slip both legs into the bottom half of his suit, trying not to panic. He didn’t even know where the hell Mary Jane was but he would find her-- he would---

Then his phone buzzed again. Probably her again, and with one arm wiggling it’s way into the red material he reached down and looked at the screen to see:

[ ( not a suit kind of emergency pls leave it at home ) ]

Oh.

Not a suit emergency.

Okay then.

Peter couldn’t help but stand defeated in the middle of his room for a few moments, the soft background noise of muffled music blaring from his headphones on the ground and sandwich remnants scattered around him like they had rained down from the ceiling. 

Way to panic, Peter. Way to panic.

There was no way he was telling MJ about that. No way.

Through his shame, Peter took off his suit and placed it under his bed before rummaging around for normal people clothes, eventually settling on a simple t-shirt and some shorts. After that it was smooth sailing-- he picked up the mess of food, grabbed his earbuds from his desk to slip into his pocket, grabbed some extra cash he had stashed, and then headed out. He texted May that he was going out and he would keep in touch. All his bases were covered.

Once he got to Times Square, which is where Mary Jane had requested to meet him, he weaved through the small crowd and took a spot about half way up on the red stairway people seemed to love. His foot tapped against the step-- he was still a bit anxious, but he knew that it would be better once she got there. He kept his earbuds in but kept an eye out for her, texting her:

[ alright i made it! you almost here?? ]