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lori0018 · 1 year ago

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WIP Wednesday

It's Wednesday and also the mid-point in NaNo.

I've been working (very slowly 😅) on finishing some of my WIPs for this year's challenge (like I did last year). It is very slow going because real life is not cooperating with me but I'm hopeful that I will finish at least 1 story. It has been in my WIPs folder for so long that it's almost taken roots 😆 I have about 3 scenes (more if some of them get split due to length or shifting POV) left to write and then a lot of editing to do to make sure it all ties together more or less coherently.

Anyway, on to the WIP Wednesday teaser 😉 it is a direct follow up to this scene I posted on another WIP Wednesday (don't look at the post date on that 😅). It is also part of the same story as this little snippet and other scene I posted recently.

The thing is that Kim never set out to create any kind of alternate personalities or anything like that. The paperwork identifying him as Marwin Kitichotiwong—his mother's maiden name—had been a matter of safety when he’d enrolled in the music faculty at Ananthamekha while living close to the university rather than at home. That he’d been allowed to is thanks to both of his brothers backing him up in the endeavor and he will forever be grateful for it. He thinks one of the nearby houses had been occupied by bodyguards��there to keep an eye on him—but they had been unobtrusive enough that Kim had been able to ignore them. One of his father’s conditions had been a very limited budget. Kim is sure that the goal had been to have him run back home with his tail between his legs as soon as the money ran out. The old man hadn’t counted on Kim finding a roommate he could get along with. (Kim might be biased but he’s certain that there isn’t anyone who would find it hard to get along with Tops.) And Korn certainly hadn’t counted on a global pandemic forcing everyone to stay home. During the period of lockdown, Kim had found himself relaxing more and more in Tops’ presence, and "Win" had been "born". Win was all the soft parts of him, Win was the music, Win was who he could be when his father wasn’t watching. During those few months of isolation, with only Tops as witness, Kim had allowed himself to just…be. "Win" had only grown during the months he'd spent in the US. The split in his mind between Kim and Khimhant had come later. After he’d been back "home" and his father had used his need for freedom as a bargaining chip to make Kim do whatever he wanted. The bloodier the job, the more Kim felt detached from his own body. He’d labeled that violent part of him Khimhant as a way to hide from it. If Khimhant was separate then he couldn't leave bloody handprints on Kim's guitar every time he picked it up. When he’d had to create a public persona for "WIꞰ", it is the time spent as Win that he’d poured into it. He hadn’t lied to Porchay when he’d said that part of him was his favorite. He’d enjoyed sharing it with him and had let himself forget, for just a moment, that the world was no longer kept at bay by a pandemic and that Kim couldn’t be soft. The harsh reality had reasserted itself when Porchay had been kidnapped and Kim had shut down, hurting Porchay in the process. So he never set out to do it but it’s still what came to be. Win was the dream, free to be soft, free to make music, free to love. WIꞰ was the puppet, trying to be Win but too beholden to his father to ever be fully free. (There had been moments, when it was just him and Chay, that Win and WIꞰ had started to blur. Until the dream had shattered with the sound of Chay’s sobbing cries.) Khimhant was the mafia son, violent, ruthless, bloodthirsty. (The only time Kim was ever thankful for that part of him is the day of the coup when the violence came to be used in defense of Chay.) And Kim, well, Kim isn’t sure what he is, lost amongst all the others, fractured. (Kim only feels himself at the soft call of his name by a shy, melodious voice. The way Chay called him "P’Kim" had all of Kim blurring and feeling found, fractured parts mending.) (When he runs, it's with the hope that another pair of soft hands can help put him back together. Can help finish what Porchay had started putting together like puzzle pieces and Kim had carelessly broken again with a soft-spoken "I'm sorry".)

#kinnporche the series #ingredients the series #kim theerapanyakul #kimchaytops #is the endgame for this story #kimchay #marwintops #one universe theory #wip wednesday #lori writes

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dengswei · 2 years ago

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