#marvel will never deliver the queer goods

[naturestheway22]

Watching the new Loki series as a Lokius fan:

[luthordamnvers]

I still think I need to watch the entire show again, but I'm gonna try and collect some very scattered thoughts because the ~discourse is appalling, tbh.

Idk who needs to hear this, but every single marvel project has been about the widening of the marvel cinematic universe. And it's fucking insane, that people are reducing this show as "just a way to get Wiccan" when it was so much more, especially for a show that wasn't even supposed to exist. It was a show spearheaded by a showrunner who initially pitched it because she loved Agatha, and Kathryn's portrayal of Agatha. One that happens to be a woman, btw (one that happens to had been at the forefront of both Captain Marvel [Uncredited] and been responsible for the first past of Black Widow [Story by, credits]).

Don't get me wrong, the MCU certainly has misogynistic undertones, the fact that we had to wait to have a woman led movie, or a movie director, as long as we did is a travesty. That without even going into the intersectionality that we are still missing in the wider MCU. And one that's inherent in the comic book world, if we are being honest. But guess what, THIS is the type of show that changes that narrative.

The fact that wandavision is still regarded the best Marvel-Disney+ show. So good that got an spin off focused on "a nanny". Show that delivered on a show being about her, and yet not the entire story, with outstanding narrative, direction and storytelling. And some swats of fandom are diminishing it left and right. The dudebros because it was about a woman, about a middle-aged woman, about a queer middle-aged woman. And others in the fandom because it wasn't as queer as they wanted, or focused on what they wanted.

And let's be honest, I'm amazed the show was as unapologetically and canonically queer as it was. Thanks to the efforts of Jac, Kathryn and the team behind it.

Agatha is based on a character that's been around for 50 years, and has being nothing but a nanny/governess for superpowered kids because she happens to be a witch, until relatively recently. Even when we had had part of her back story for decades, she was never that important, and she isn't even evil. Dare I say, she hasn't been that relevant until her run with the Scarlet Witch, and Kathryn Hanh's interpretation of her.

Agatha All Along, is not only an spin off of Wandavision, but also part 2 of the whole story. OF COURSE, Billy would be a very important part of her story, something that was touched upon in WV, but was also part of her (and I'm using this word very loosely) redemption arc.

She shared a kinship with Billy in WV, because he was magick. She wanted to understand how he worked, because she knew what Wanda did, and she wanted Wanda's powers. The fact that she could identify Billy immediately, even when she hoped it was Nicky, was important, but people were to busy whining about Billy having an episode. One episode that was also relevant to the ending of the show. And the full arc of the saga's mythology.

Is the show perfect? Not at all. Did I enjoy the heck out of it and can appreciate what it actually did? Absolutely yes. Can I appreciate how GOOD it was at storytelling? Hell yes.

It was a show absolutely centered in women. Good women, bad women, women of color, old women, younger women. The one man was a queer, three-year old in the body of a 16 year old. And mind you, this character has been making queer history, since his very recent creation (2005). This show is unapologetically queer, we had a huge ass Trans flag that said Protect trans kid in huge black letters being very prominent in the shots. It's HUGE, and not even by marvel/disney standards. The show had nothing to do with coming out, or acceptance, or people dealing with phobia. It was about queer people existing and being queer. Hell, you could make a case that they were saying "being a witch" is an allegory of being queer.

Every single member of the coven could be queer. They hinted at it with Jen, at the very least.

Let's talk about the rest of the coven. Who for me were the absolute highlight of the show.

Alice, generational trauma, the protection witch. The most tragic to me. She saw her curse, as a lie. As something her mother made to neglect her. And yet she couldn't keep a job, she resented her mother, and she had to be reminded of her every moment because her mom was a famous Rockstar. She goes to the road, she comes to terms with her mom's love for her, how her mom's version of the ballad was a protection spell, as much as Alice hated it, and she manages to defeat her curse. She protects her coven. Only to immediately die. Her dialogue with Death was devastating:

Alice: That's it? That's all the... That's all the time I get? Death: If I had a nickel... Alice: This can't be the end. It has to be the beginning. I finally broke the curse. I mean, I can really do something with my life now. Death: You're a Protection Witch. Alice: Yeah. Death: You died protecting someone. You ready? Alice: No.

Heart wrenching, unjust, and beautiful.

Lilia, who was plagued by the gift/curse of seeing her and others destiny. Ignoring it for over half her life, staying stagnant, because she was reeling from the fact that she saw the death of her family, her entire coven, she told them and it changed nothing. She was chased out of villages because she could see the tragedies coming. Who refused to be with a coven, love a coven because the heartbreak of losing her first was too much. Who decided that cheap tricks, was better than seeing the tragedies coming, and refused her gifts. She hated the appropriation of her culture, but when the time came, she accepted it, and moved on. She goes to the road, and finds her coven. "I needed you, my coven." And she died, going back to the start, because she'd rather relieve it all again, the good, the bad and the ugly, that keep neglenting herself. "I loved being a witch".

That without going into the absolute masterpiece that was episode 7. Pulling a non-linear story, as solidly as they did, is certainly not easy. And they did it, beautifully.

Jennifer, who was magick-bound for over a century, to the point that she doubted her knowledge and herself. And yet she made a name for herself, she was a successful entrepreneur (she cheated a little, but you know capitalism is the true villain here). A black woman who was outstanding at her craft, healing and being a midwife, to the point that she became an inconvenience to the fragile, egomaniacal, white men in the medical field. Where they sought out a way to stop her indefinitely. And yet she kept going, and survived. Even at the end of the road. She looked at the person who bound her, and said: "I deny your power over me. You hold nothing." And she unbounded herself, and got out. Not because of Billy or even Agatha but in spite of her. Jennifer survived, just like she has been doing for however many centuries, and she flew towards the sunset. Because 'She's the path ahead'. The growth she had, from being selfish the first few episodes, because that's how she survived, to screaming for Lilia when she decided to stay behind. Jennifer clawed her way out of the road, the bound. And she deserved it.

As for Billy... he's so much like her mother. He accidentally created the road, because he's equally, if not more, unaware of his powers as Wanda. Wanda at least thought she got powers from Hydra's experimentation. Billy isn't even supposed to exist. Billy who was "10 years old" but, realistically like 2 weeks old. Who got thrown into the body of this guy, who he doesn't know, and who doesn't even knows himself, because he doesn't remembers, with powers he doesn't quite understands and then he starts piercing moments of his life together, because he feels this massive hole in his being. And finds his answers on Agatha. He truly believes the road is real, that can take him to someone who while not have the answers, might feel the same way as him. Who was his other half, he doesn't remembers it, but he feels it.

His magick, is like Wanda's, Chaos magick, it manifests without his real knowledge or intention, but by his feelings. He created the road, with all the knowledge he thought he had, the road follows the rules Agatha and Nicky created when they made the ballad. Even if he doesn't know it.

Is the show about Billy? Not necessarily. Billy is important to Agatha, because Billy is Agatha's son now. Not by blood, not even by magic, but by choice. As much as she denies it, her "calculated risk", had something to do in the way she saw Billy, and how she wanted to protect him, in a way she couldn't protect Nicky.

And finally, Agatha. Agatha who built a reputation of killing all her covens. Starting with her mother's. Because her mother sentenced her to death, because she was born evil. And she took that and ran with it. She connived, and betrayed, but she survived, something she's extremely proud of. Do I wish we had seen more of her past? 100%. I wanted to know how she got the Darkhold, how she actually met Rio, how they fell in love. Does not really knowing diminish her storyline? Not at all. Because what we got was really nuanced, and it's going down the hill with people focusing only in the romantic relationship aspect. If anything, I think this is being reductive of Agatha, not Billy. The fact that she needs the love interest for people to focus on her, regardless if that love interest is a man or a woman.

But even then, what did people think it would happen? Agatha Harkness had a romantic relationship with Death itself. It was never going to be a romance, it was always a tragedy. Death who took her son away, Death who gave her time with her son, but never specify how much time. Who then followed her around, torturing her with its presence, and we know Agatha is resentful and can hold a grudge.

Death who kindly stopped for her.

Rio knew Agatha would always resent her, even when she gave Nicky more time, because at the end of the day, she would always had to take him away. As much as it was a kindness to let him be born, to take him while he and Agatha were asleep. She had to take him anyways, and Agatha would never forgive her.

Agatha letting the witchfolk think that she exchanged her son for the Darkhold, or made a deal with Mephisto, and saying it was because "the truth was much worse" had nothing to do with *our* perception of worse. But hers. A powerful witch who couldn't save her son, a woman who couldn't keep her son alive. A witch who let her lover take her son away. Using her son to lure more witches. Then using the song, that her son lovingly created for themselves, to lure even more witches to their doom, just for her to be more powerful and keep living (and potentially still looking relatively young). A song that was special to them, corrupted, because she wanted more power and killing witches, something she knew Nicky didn't like. Witchfolk thinking Agatha got the Darkhold trading her son, was better than what she thought of herself.

She saw Nicky in Billy, how he didn't like killing witches (as accidentally as Billy did), how he mourned, how he somehow still believed in Agatha, even with his barbs at her.

She sacrificed herself, not necessarily because of Billy. But because of Nicky, her boy she couldn't save. And yet here is another boy she loved, not the same but very similarly, one she could save.

Billy didn't manipulate her, (and even if he were to, Agatha would probably be proud of him for that) he's been consistent in wanting to understand Agatha. He's curious. Hell, he didn't even need to come back for Agatha, he had gotten out (wherever out was for him) but he came back, because he cared about Agatha. And if some people can't see that, because he happens to be a he... well, no matter what had happened in the show, those people wouldn't see it any other way.

Agatha becoming a ghost, and immediately seeking Billy, because she loves him, and she likes the way he sees her, not good or innocent, but knowledgeable, and with the potential to do good. And she sees Nicky in him, and his potential too.

There is so much more analysis, and I might share more thoughts later, but for now, this is it. I still wanted more, Agatha's story with the Darkhold, the Salem seven, more of the coven, yet not necessarily for the show or the episodes to be longer, but I would love to see if they expand on this, on another spinoff.

[ennn]

Initial Agatha All Along Ep 7 Meta Thoughts + Reactions

This ep was a work of art and my brain is buzzing while my heart is in awe.

YELLING at how the show is just leaning into the gay now that we're in the endgame. This is the current star TV show product of Disney Marvel and I am stunned and delighted. Two of this show's lead characters flat out saying they're not straight / queer.

I can only hope this spills over to more open marketing and interviews. Yes, I'm still shook about it and will be for the time being.

"I'm your mom's ex [forever pause] best friend." Congratulations Wanda-Agatha shippers, I'm happy for you. Also Agatha's "oooh" at possible epic Maximoff drama? Nice.

We've hit Doctor Who levels of time shenanigans! And timey whimey storytelling is a sure-fire way to hit the feels. There's something so powerful and tragic about Fate.

I keep drawing parallels about how the show feels like such a spiritual successor to DW with the Agatha-Billy team up, and the incredible layers (and theatrics and cunning and drama) with Agatha. Now we're directly playing with time and it's glorious!

As much as Billy is giving Agatha a hard time now, it's probably a good thing and healthy this conflict is in the open. Billy's expressing his hurt and anger and making it super clear he doesn't trust Agatha – which of course, structurally means he will of course have to trust her by the end of this story.

Them snarking at each other attempting the trial? I enjoy these bitchy dumbasses.

What an incredible writing feat in how they did the time skips, with the focus centered on Lilia so we can experience her tragic journey. I can't wait to hear more about how Schaeffer and the writers plotted this out. A new masterclass in executing a series reveal, with stunning cinematography to match. (the colours! the framing!) This episode embodies how it's really the craft and execution that delivers, less of the idea or the plot point.

Patti LuPwn effortlessly grounding this episode with her performance. I'm glad a wider audience gets to experience this Broadway legend's talent. My only regret is we never got more of her singing.

Agatha's back in her active leader-y role in driving the trial to succeed (and of course saving her own skin): tackling Lilia so she doesn't get impaled, reminding them to hurry up, and ultimately saving them crucial seconds by putting down the Death card.

Congratulations to Agatha officially joining the monsterfucker club. The way everyone looked to her (look, everyone saw Rio's dumb scar confession) was gold.

Vindication for my Death's missing heart theory -- although now it looks like the wound is more likely self-inflicted? I wonder exactly when and how.

Vindication for my perception of Rio as not a liar (as I do love the contrast with Agatha's duplicitous nature and tendency to run). She literally told everyone she's The Green Witch. In a scary voice no less.

Excited to see how they tackle Rio being the original Green Witch. Death being a witch is certainly a new take? And I'm still not sure how human or not this makes Rio, which makes the last two eps rather unpredictable. Yes, she's got a skull face and can do weird shit with her body. But the Scarlet Witch was able to pull off some inhuman things in MoM.

[samd1o1]

Hey I don’t want to comment for real bc I’m sick of arguing with people on tumblr

I just wanted to say that in that post about deadpool and wolverine’s queerness, you are like 1000% in the right. Normally I don’t feel this strongly about stuff but anyone who thinks that Disney seriously and earnestly “delivered” on deadpool (and wolverine?) being queer is delusional

I mean, I love the movie. I’ve seen it twice and giggled my way through it both times. Obviously I enjoy the queer aspect of their relationship. But what you said about being able to be critical of your favorite media is important. The fact that people are arguing that there are no issues with the gay jokes in d&w but ACTUALLY it’s all indicative of a genuinely made film about two queer men is like actually SO crazy

Thank you, yes! The movie is absolutely amazing in the fact it's funny and well written. And yes I like the gay jokes, they're cheeky and enjoyable. But I think they'd be more enjoyable if any amount of Wade's (and also Logan's) queerness was taken seriously. Even just a little seriously.

I think the part that annoyed me about the movie most was Wade breaking up with Vanessa. Yeah it works for the movie and his character development. But at the same time I can't help but assume the reasoning for it was so queer people could go "hey they're both single, maybe just maybe Deadpool and Wolverine will get together?" No they won't this is Disney. He'll probably be back together with Vanessa eventually (even if it's not immediately).

Like I said on the comments of the post you're referring to; saying this is good queer rep is just an excuse so Disney (and Marvel) doesn't have to actually try to make good representation. The MCU has had many issues like this before. The single Loki bisexual conversation only for them to chicken out on the mlm ship they were hinting at in S2 promotions. Loki also being labeled as genderfluid in promo stuff just for him to be referred to as a male Loki and such. Characters who are canonically bisexual in the comics like Starlord showing absolutely zero hints to their queerness. Eternals is the only real representation I can think of, but it felt very one note and boring. Like that whole movie.

In conclusion Deadpool is a great movie but my biggest gripe is just that the queer aspect is not taking seriously. As much as I love the Honda Odyssey scene, it would be cool if it wasn't just a weird mix of coding/bait. Queer coding is still a great writing tool. Using metaphors for queerness in fantasy can be fun. But the reason queer coding existed in the first place is because you weren't allowed to show any queer people on screen. But times have changed! You can show it, but Disney are cowards. The movie is also queerbaity as they set up things like Vanessa's break up only to start them almost back up again with Logan himself telling Wade to go for the girl. Not to mention all the promotional posters like Deadpool and Wolverine as Beauty And The Beast. Disneyland Deadpool is also being VERY heavy on the gay jokes, which makes me feel like they KNOW who their main target audience was gonna be with this movie, but they still need to cater to the movie dudebros as well. Maybe one day guys, maybe.

It's important to be critical of even your favorite media. If you weren't then it could never improve. Let your voices be heard! And to the people who think movies don't deserve such debate; why do you think that? So many people say that so they don't have to discuss representation in media but then turn around and rant about the comic accuracy. Also what do you think happens in a writers room? Criticism is important in media even to professionals. A movie is a group effort, many people had different ideas that eventually came together and made Deadpool 3. They also probably had many ideas that were shut down and not put in Deadpool 3 for various reasons. Some most likely being criticisms.

Ok I'm done ranting now. Deadpool 3, great movie, one of my favorites. But it would have benefited not only itself by being true to Wade and Logan letting them be their authentic queer selves; But it also would have benefited the queer community.

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

because we all deserve an angsty snippet

Work in progress, 3/4 done!

TW: mention of past suicidal ideal

--------

A beat while Arthur listens.

Martin can’t imagine what that must be like - your person, inside your head. He wonders how things will change for these two if John does, indeed, get a body.

He wonders if Arthur really, truly realizes how much this John is his person.

It hardly has to be romantic. But Martin also has the language to express such things - queer, maybe platonic, etc. He doubts Arthur does, and without the words for it, it remains vague, unformed.

He thinks their friendship will survive separation.

His love survived Jon’s ability to read his mind, so surely, these two can manage when losing their shared space.

Arthur licks his lips. “Right. I don’t know how to - well, it’s not an easy question, is it? Oh, hush. Martin - your Jon. Is he… human? I’m sorry. I don’t know another way to ask that.”

Martin hesitates. “I honestly don’t know. He was. I’m not sure he is, now.”

“If he’s not, John says there’s something we can do if… damn it, John, he just cleaned up.” Arthur sighs. “If you have any of his blood. I’m sorry. There’s simply no way to deliver these requests without sounding macabre.”

Martin swallows.

A moment passes.

“I’m sorry,” says Arthur. “We shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, there… does it have to be fresh?”

Arthur listens. “No.”

“Then there is something.” Martin doesn’t move. 

Arthur may not be able to see his face, but he’s not stupid. “I’m sorry, forget we asked. John, there has to be something else.”

“No. No, I can get it.” Martin feels almost robotic as he heads to the kitchen and opens the trap door to the root cellar.

It’s startlingly cold down there, deep wooden stairs descending into a space so narrow that Martin must turn sideways. The cellar opens up a little past the stairs, but not by much.

It’s lined with shelves, laden with mostly canned goods, ready in neat glass jars for winter.

The candle he brings is the only light, and he’s fine with that. Down here is always, always filled with webs.

No, that isn’t true. It’s not filled with webs. It’s just rife where their stuff from Earth is kept.

Martin stares at the very back of the cellar - two backpacks, seemingly innocent but for being wound in white and wisp.

He’d stopped clearing the webs off after the first month. When Jon asked if he could see them, he… lied. 

There really wasn’t any point to it. He just did. Didn’t want to worry anyone.

I’m as bad as he is, Martin thinks, staring. 

His heart races.

For Jon, he tells himself, and walks toward them.

The smell hits him first, and it is so strange.

These bags carry an electrical smell for reasons unknown, a scent that just doesn’t exist here - an atmosphere of power lines and ozone, the odor of busy power stations, the strangely charged air of the apocalypse.

Martin has no idea if the bags look weird on some level, too. He never asked. 

He should have asked how they looked to Jon, but there’s no point in castigating himself now. He kneels and opens the bag on the left.

The thing he needs isn’t in there. He just wants to feel these clothes. To press the factory-made cloth between his fingers, to remember them draped on Jon’s too-thin body, to marvel at the uniformity of industrial stitches.

And to put off reaching behind the right-hand bag.

The one on the right holds his own clothes, and it’s harder to look at those. To remember them on his skin, remember them hiding his skin, remember how he thought it was normal to dislike his body so much.

He didn’t feel strong, like now. Just… accepted his mother’s caustic comments, and Elias’ paternal parallel. 

What a contrast to remember the first time he and Jon made love, and the way Jon made him feel. Feel manly and sexy and desired. Feel worthy and seen and strong. So weird, to touch these clothes, and remember. 

For Jon. Who didn't even like sex that much, but would make love for him.

Martin lifts his backpack and puts it aside.

Behind it lies a knife. It is a serious knife; a Ministry of Defense “survival” knife with a sheepsfoot blade, Jon had told him, and a thick, black grip perfect for Martin’s hand. He liked the way it had felt when they were traveling through the wastes, liked how it seemed to fit him, as if it had been designed for his palm.

Funny, that he cannot now recall where he got the thing.

Daisy’s place, probably. But he doesn’t remember packing it.

He just remembers having it, being comforted (pointlessly) by its existence - and also remembers the horror when he found it gone and knew where it had to be.

He’d known Jon was going to do something crazy. He had known; or had he?

He tells himself he did.

He’d certainly thrown that accusation at Jon like he did.

He’d gone to Melanie and Georgie, trying to hurry things along, on the claim that he did. But to what end? What, exactly had that been going to achieve?

Down here, in the quiet dark of the cellar, in another world, planning a rescue mission from a god, alongside a blind man with a piece of said god inside him, Martin can admit the truth.

He’d been afraid Jon was going to use the knife on himself, and thought that by somehow harming Jonah first, he could prevent it.

Why didn’t I say anything? he thinks, staring at it, unwilling to pick it up. If I really thought he had suicidal ideation, why did I act like everything was fine? Why did I even let him out of my sight for a moment?

Martin has no answer for that. The closest he can come is because I wanted to be wrong.

And he was. Jon hadn’t used it on himself at all. 

Though, in a way, he had.

“Okay, Blackwood, you’re done,” he mutters, flexing his hand a few times. “Sat in your head for a while, had your little cry, and now it’s time to get to work.” He swallows hard and reaches.

He’d never cleaned it off.

Drawing it from Jon’s side when they arrived here - the slight suction of Jon’s flesh when he pulled it free - had been the worst thing he’d ever felt, in his entire life, hands-down.

He’d thrown it down then, focused, just… desperate to keep Jon alive.

Jon, who had not been breathing.

Jon, who had hung in his arms, limp - 

But he’d been bleeding, heavily, and that got Martin moving because that mean a heartbeat, meant Jon was still alive.

He hadn’t recalled the knife for two solid days, and even then, had only gone outside, looked at it, walked a few feet away to throw up, and left it there in the dirt.

Two weeks passed before he had the courage to retrieve it from the neglected garden.

The blood had long since dried. No insects or animals had messed with it at all - an unnerving thing, but Martin, at that point, lacked the wherewithal to wrestle with that weirdness, and he’d just taken it inside and - on a whim - thrown it into the unused root cellar to get it out of his sight.

It still bore Jon’s blood. A lot of blood. All over the blade, all over the handle, all over the guard.

It doesn’t feel like anything as he carries it upstairs. Gritty, a little. Like old, slightly tacky dirt.

“No, that won’t work,” Arthur is saying as Martin returns. “I mean, you could do that, but it would be quite hard to take on clients if they were busy being spooked that you had so many arms.” 

What an image. 

John Doe, thinks Martin, might actually be cute. Endearing, at least, in spite of his origin.

He decides not to comment on that. “I have it.”

Arthur turns his face toward Martin. 

It’s a good face, Martin thinks - clearly worn and tired, but there’s a stubbornness in it he finds oddly refreshing. 

Oh, Arthur hides that stubbornness with smiles and a lovely, pleasant voice, but Martin knows what he sees. That stubbornness is something he could never miss.

“So?” Martin says. “Is this usable?” And he holds out the knife.

Arthur listens. “Calm down.”

“You’ve got to tell me what he’s saying.”

Arthur sighs. “John says it’s reactive. He says it’s responding to us both.”

Martin looks at it. “It’s not moving. What does he mean, responding?”

A pause. “Resonating to the Lonely in both of us, and to the Eye in you. And to something he calls the Web, as well. We haven’t discussed that one, John. What is it?”

So Jon’s blood, even old and dried, still resonated to the Fears. Great. Just great.

[zombeesknees]

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#i love the idea of their jaeger just looking like a giant one of them and the helmet has an led visor that delivers pithy bon mots in french

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hey, folks. I know we’re all currently consumed with Our Flag Means Death brainrot. But now that season one is done, and we’re impatiently awaiting a season two, we’ve got some downtime to fill.

Might I recommend the Sink or Swim duology, co-written by a pair of queer authors, yours truly and @stephanierabig?

What’s Sink or Swim? Well, it’s more queer pirate greatness, with a focus on romance, swashbuckling action, and supernatural sea creatures. We’ve got lesbians and nonbinary characters and canon throuples; we’ve got mermaids (and a particularly hunky merman) and sirens and magic and more! The heroes take on slavers and kill bad men. There’s love across class/racial/species divides, a heavy dose of Found Family, and badass women aplenty.

Click the read more for the synopses and order links!

SINK OR SWIM: THE SEARCH FOR AVELINE

Captain Harry Roberts and the crew of The Sappho are an unusual bunch. Bound by defiance, friendship, and a shared code of honor, these pirates took to the seas to escape marriage, cruelty, and prejudice. To find adventure, freedom, and those they’ve lost. The pirate’s life isn’t an easy one, but the ladies of The Sappho love to rise to a challenge. Whether it’s sailing through treacherous reefs or tangling with treacherous enemies, like Wrath Drew of The Charon… Navigating the cultural waters of merfolk and sirens, or the wild nightlife of lawless ports…. Pursuing romance or preparing for revenge…. Making impressive scientific discoveries or tending to the sick and injured…. Righting the wrongs of society or rescuing the victims of slavery…. Captain Harry and her wild women are ready for anything. Or so they think.

Click here to order Sink or Swim: The Search for Aveline.

———–

SINK OR SWIM: THE SANCTUARY OF NALANI

The bold crew of The Sappho return for more swashbuckling adventure and sizzling romance! Finally reunited with her long-lost sister Aveline, Captain Harry is happier than she’s ever been. But it will take time for Aveline to recover from her ordeals. The tales she has to tell will be hard for her sister to hear. And will the singer and Harry’s first mate, Jo, ever be able to reconcile after everything they’ve been through? Meanwhile, a chivalrous titan comes to Lady Deborah and Katherine’s aid. Harry takes steps to set the penny dreadful stories straight. Kai and Isabelle encounter a unique ghost, and the pirates witness two momentous births. Hope puts her mystical skills to good use to thwart mermaid collectors, Franky finally sees how Maddie got her nickname, the search is on for the Emerald of Tococo, and unexpected reunions expand the crew. Plus: Just how did a one-legged scientist become The Sappho’s cook? Is it true that only women can change into merfolk? And how many golden-hearted pirates does it take to liberate a plantation? The voyage is never a dull one aboard The Sappho!

Click here to order Sink or Swim: The Sanctuary of Nalani.

35 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

#4

Hi, I've never seen any Cary Grant movies. Do you have any recommendations on where to start? <3

OH BOY, DO I EVER!

So Cary is, at his core, a Very Handsome Clown.

That first bit is obvious right from the get go, while the second sometimes surprises people -- but the man came from a family of acrobats and vaudeville performers, and he was NEVER afraid to go Full Buffoon in something, thank God.

Which means most of his film career can be boiled down into two primary genres: Screwball Comedy and Handsome Asshole.

In the first, you’ve got (and here’s where my recommendations kick in)

Bringing Up Baby -- Cary is a paleontologist who JUST WANTS AN INTERCOSTAL CLAVICLE FOR HIS BRONTOSAURUS, GOT DAMMIT and yet has to deal with a ROGUE LEOPARD because of ditzy socialite Katharine Hepburn.

The Philadelphia Story -- Cary is a rich dude named C. K. Dexter Haven who’s trying to re-woo his ex-wife, Katharine Hepburn, on the eve of her second wedding, but then reporter Jimmy Stewart’s also there and romantic, drunken shenanigans ensue. (Note: Cary and Katharine did a TON of movies together, all of which were great, and his influence at the studio helped save her movie career when she was deemed “too much trouble/box office poison” by shitty men in Hollywood. For that reason alone he has my undying love and respect.)

Arsenic and Old Lace -- Cary just wants to go on his Halloween honeymoon with his new bride, but it turns out his sweet dear old aunties have been KILLING LONELY OLD MEN as a public service and he’s just found a body in the window seat. Awkward.

His Girl Friday -- Newspaperman Cary tries to convince hotshot reporter (and ex-wife) Rosalind Russell to cover the Execution Story of the Year -- and also to not marry her bland new beau. Things get wild when the condemned man escapes and the whole city goes wild. (Note: This film is extra notable because it’s arguably the first movie to have realistic dialogue where characters frequently speak over and interrupt each other. The patter is FANTASTIC.)

People Will Talk -- World’s Greatest Doctor Cary falls in love with a patient who’s in dire straits due to an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and also has to face down a committee seeking to destroy his career. (This one’s a bit more melodramatic than screwball, and isn’t talked about near as often as his other films, but it holds a special place in my heart.)

As for the second, you can largely thank Hitchcock because there’s

To Catch A Thief -- Retired Jewel Thief Cary is forced to get back into the game/clear his name when he’s suspected of making off with ladies’ necklaces again. This one co-stars the ever-goddessly Grace Kelly and a really cute red neckerchief.

Notorious -- Cold-as-Ice Spy Cary recruits innocent Ingrid Bergman, the daughter of a Nazi, to infiltrate a group of her father’s old friends who fled to Brazil (one of whom is The Invisible Man himself, Claude Rains). Things get rough in a hurry.

North By Northwest -- Ad Exec (think Mad Men) Cary is mistaken for a spy and goes on the lam. Featuring that infamous crop duster chase across the field, and a fight literally on the face of Mount Rushmore.

Charade -- Widow Audrey Hepburn is pursued by several mysterious men who’re after a fortune her thief husband stole just before he was murdered. Can she trust Cary, or is he just after the money?

Houseboat -- Stoic Widower Cary hires the vivacious Sophia Loren to nanny his three unruly children, and hijinks ensue when the family moves onto a rickety houseboat. (This one is more of a Screwball, but he DOES play a Handsome Asshole/Straight Man in this one.)

So yeah. Any one of these movies would be a good place to start, though I most recommend diving into his screwball comedies first. They’re just so fun and zany and silly, with really superb dialogue and goofy characters.

35 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#3

driving home from work tonight, coming around the corner of my cul-de-sac and about to turn into the driveway leading to the garage, i slammed on my brakes HARD.

there was a FOR SALE sign in front of a townhouse three buildings down from ours.

i immediately whipped out my phone, texted a photo to my realtor, called the number on the sign, left a voicemail for the seller’s realtor.

kirsten (my realtor) got back to me and set up a showing at 8 pm. the place had been active online for about two hours at this point.

we did the walk-through. it’s the exact SAME layout of my current place, except with new wood laminate flooring throughout.

told kirsten to put together an offer TONIGHT. just signed all the paperwork for said offer. the seller’s realtor wants the listing to be up for at least two days, so i won’t know until tomorrow night if i’ve been accepted. i offered significantly over the asking price, because that’s how the market is right now, but who knows -- someone could swoop in and offer an extra 1k and i could miss out.

but y’all.

if i actually manage to get this place

it’s less than a MINUTE walk from my current digs. i wouldn’t have to pay a DIME for moving expenses. twads and i could just walk everything over in the course of a day.

if there is ANY higher power out there, please, i am b e g g i n g you, do me this one solid. PLEASE.

37 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

#2

See the full post

58 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A Happy NaNoWriMo to all who observe it. May the odds be ever in our favor.

132 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hyperfixiation-of-the-week]

Just wanna say really quick that:

1) Thinking the MCU would give us good queer rep is naive. Its not something I ever believed would happen.

2) Many people DID think this would happen because....many MCU fans ARE naive due to.....being queer teenagers who are desperate for representation

3) it IS queerbaiting in one of the most literal senses. Disney allowed for 1 (one) line of dialogue pertaining to Loki being MLM, and 1 (one) quick flash of evidence that Lokis sex is fluid. These were both done to trick young naive queer fans into thinking they would expand upon this, when they never actually had any intention of doing so. They did this fot views and profit and media attention. Literal queerbaiting

4) uh personally? I dont think you can include Mobius in any of this....i am sorry my friends but.....the Loki/Mobius ship seems to be the kind of thing where a bunch of people see something that wasnt actually intended to be there. And then they go online and post abt how OBVIOUSLY IN LOVE these 2 characters are, which makes others go into the series with pre-conceived notions of what to expect. Which makes them see things that simply arent there.......i am really sorry my guys but..... The writing for loki and mobius never intended for them to be anything but friends.

5) i still like Lokius as a ship but....cmon guys i mean......Mobius is just not involved in the queerbaiting debate. The Lokius relationship was not obvious enough to be considered queerbait.

6) Its not the fault of the viewers if they were queerbaited. This is maybe the biggest media corporation in the world, and blaming young queer kids for feeling let down is ......shitty.

7) especially because in the comic books, Loki IS canonically queer! And he has been for a LONG TIME! so when young queer kids see that Loki has prior canonical evidence of being queer, its only natural for them to HOPE that MAYBE marvel will give a shit about that. And it feels cruel and shitty to.....yknow....make fun of them for it.....

8) the MCU is not the only media corporation that is guilty of this. Supernatural comes to mind but thats a whole different can of worms entirely.

TL;DR:

The Loki show queerbaited its young naive queer audience by promising genderfluid MLM loki, and then never delivered on it. Mobius isnt involved in the queerbaiting bc his relationship with loki is obviously meant to be platonic, sorry guys.

Dont make fun of young kids for being let down by this. Im SURE that all of you felt heartbroken when you realized at the age of 17 that Sherlock or whatever was queerbaiting you.

These kids are at that age now and going through the exact same thing, so to say "its your own fault for being queerbaited lol!" Is kinda shitty.

[lucianalight]

Sooo queer and POC character have to be “soft, wholesome beans who are good with no flaws or bad tributes” in your opinion? Isn’t that dehumanizing?

Sigh. Anon, I literally never said that or implied that and you’re confusing two different issues.

It is not right to say that all POC/queer people are completely good and flawless and they shouldn’t be criticized. Because we are all human and humans are flawed. This is about irl people. What we should pay attention to in this case, is not saying things or treating them the way that reinforces racism and queerphobic ideas.

It’s the same in the stories but it gets more complicated than that.

There is nothing wrong with having flawed queer/POC characters. And there is nothing wrong with having queer/POC villains.

But there is a problem if all the queer/POC characters in your story are immoral or flat characters with no depth that their only purpose is to prop up the main cis white characters.

There is a problem when the narrative’s framing and treatment of all of your queer/POC characters reinforces the same racist and queerphobic beliefs or stereotypes that were used to oppress them through history.

Representation matters. And Disney doesn’t have a good record specially when it comes to queer representation.

Black Panther and Aladdin were good movies in case of representation. One of the reasons was exactly because POC people were shown in different ways; good, bad, flawed, and you know, human.

Lucifer tv show also did a wonderful job in case of representation. The cast and characters are diverse. And it’s treated as sth normal. Because it is normal. Unlike Marvel that hypes up people for diversity and doesn't deliver.

What Disney/Marvel did in Loki show was not right or good representation since many POC/queer people are offended by it. And we would like to be heard when we’re voicing our concerns.

[bigpeepee]

im gonna be ill people keep saying that the lokius situation is our own fault for seeing something that isnt there and that were queerbaiting ourselves but some of these parallels and interactions HAVE to be intentional right?? Love is a dagger?? Im going insane

the thing is, does it really matter?

option 1, it was intentional queerbaiting. some things were intentional from them, other we "made up" ourselves, which is what generally happens with queerbaiting. they won't make it canon because it's Disney, they'll just keep baiting us a bit and then send mobius back to his wife or something like that.

option 2, they weren't intentional, they just accidentally wrote a beautiful dynamic and accidentally made some beautiful symbolisms, but they never planned on it, and they never planned on making it canon so they won't.

option 3, they weren't intentional but seeing the reaction they might change plans, if not for a canon relationship at least for some good old queerbaiting in season 2.

option 4, it was intentional and it wasn't queerbaiting, and we're gonna get canon lokius in season 2.

which one do I believe? I have no idea and honestly I don't really care. personally, as much as I love them and I love the fandom part of this, I don't intend on trusting the show when it comes to this. thing is, I was one of those people really really into bbc sherlock. and the theories for that show were impeccable. there was no way that this is not true right? and I believed that, and I trusted that, and then the final season aired and it was such a disappointment and it hurt me so much that to this day, 4 years later, I have Sherlock blacklisted here. that shitshow made me way too cynical about queer representation in TV (and if BBC did not deliver, how can I expect Disney to do it?) to have the emotional strength to believe our own theories. I love them, I love making them, and I love seeing that they make sense but that's where I stop.

but going back to the point, does it matter? wether they're queerbaiting us or were queerbaiting ourselves or nobody is queerbaiting anyone... there is no way to tell, they all look the same until you see how it ends.

my advice would be to just enjoy the ride. enjoy the theories for what they are. if we get canon lokius even better, if not we can burn marvel hq to the ground still have our little bubble of headcanons, fanfictions, fanart etc. but should you take the advice of an old, bitter, cynical bitch? idk dude

tl;dr: trust is for children and dogs

[mundungs]

ϟ.  → robert sheehan : genderfluid : he/they/she : dealer of illicit objects and substances : the raven by the alan parsons project ϟ  did you see mundungus fletcher ? you know ,  31 year old halfblood who was formally in ravenclaw. some say dung can be quite furtive but are known to be unreliable. they are aligned with the order .  maybe that’s why they remind me of naming stray cats, flicking a lighter over and over again, falling asleep on the subway. ϟ 

some links for food

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ciannán o’donnell is a flighty man, one of many relationships and flings and little loyalty, and so his affair with maeve fletcher does not last long. when she tells him she is pregnant, he moves on to a different woman, and maeve has her son alone, with her sister on her side. and thus, mundungus is born (and giving an arguably atrocious name).

he grows up with his mum – a halfblooded witch and by far his favourite person in the world – in limerick, attending muggle school there. he knew who his dad was, but wasn’t quite sure how to feel about — his father is a criminal, a prominent member of the irish mob. 

he meets his dad for the first time at age seven, and was nothing but impressed. his dad showered him with gifts, his mum watching with a furious look on her face but biting her tongue. that moment was a switch for mundungus; he felt the need to impress his dad. he stole some sweets from a store on his way home from school a week later, fished some pennies out of the pockets of his classmates a few months later. when he phoned his dad to tell him, his laugh was warm and filled with life. his relationship with his dad got better as his behaviour got worse. the thrill of stealing, of doing stuff he wasn’t supposed to, lit him not only on fire because it was exciting, but also because he knew his dad would adore it. 

but ciannan, a flighty man, pushes and pulls. and so mundungus was fed disappointment by his father, liking love off a shiny knife rather than a spoon ( silver or plastic, what the fuck does it matter ). details omitted, long story made short: his dad sucks and his mother tries, but mundungus is pulled towards that what smells of danger.

DRUGS MENT. at hogwarts, dung is sorted into ravenclaw. not at all the booksmart type, he falls more into the chaotic-creativity, random-bursts-of-wanting-to-learn-everything-about-something type of ravenclaw. there’s two worlds, then: the muggle world, where he slowly dips his water further in criminal waters, and the wizarding one, where he’s chaotic and messy but a student. when he grows older, these overlap: dung starts selling some of his dad’s weed at hogwarts, and soon gains a reputation of being able to get people less-than-legal shit. 

not getting high off your own supply is not a sentiment he agrees with. not then, not later, not now. dung is fun, always in for a party and willing to supply the goods to throw it. if some rich purebloods lose a few galleons at said party, well, it sure isn’t him! END OF TW

he graduates with two newts, in herbology and potions, failing his dada and charms exams. he’s not an academic.

falling into the family business after graduation is easy. mundungus is attracted by the criminal underworld, both that of muggle ireland and that of the wizarding world. knockturn alley was a place frequented in teenage years, but now becomes more his place. he makes connections, exchanges strange potion recipes for other things. makes an odd wager on a bunch of stolen brass scales and turns a profit. 

a career is not something that interests him; he is more interested in bending rules and making quick money. thievery, selling illegal shit, heists, fraud, fuck-all. mundungus is not limited by one descriptor, one kind of criminality. he just does what he wants and hopes to make a good penny.

but then he almost gets sent to azkaban over some, in his frank opinion, bullshit. it’s dumbledore who talks the wizengamot out of it, saddling dung up with some community service and persuading him towards the order. he’s twenty three. the war is still fresh. he has no interest in it, but he owes the old man. fine.

mundungus does vehemently oppose blood purity and any kind of discriminatory ideals, an anarchist in his very bones, but he is also cowardly. to side with self-proclaimed rebels is not in his blood and yet it’s where he ends up, bringing shady ties to the underworld to the table and a sheer ability to sneak around and fuck the law. and maybe, amidst the ranks of the order, dung finds something he’s not very familiar with: a large family. and dung? well, he’s the stoner, gay, super-fucking-chaotic cousin.

personality

if jesper fahey and kaz brekker had a child, it would be dung. 

other character parallels: fezco ( euphoria ), boris ( the goldfinch ), doug judy ( b99 ), jason mendoza ( the good place ), chris miles ( skins ),  nick miller ( new girl ), creed bratton ( the office ), scott lang ( marvel ), lillian ( unbreakable kimmy schmidt )

technically he’s homeless. he’s got a bedroom at his ma’s place, has a ton of squatter connects in the muggle scene and couch surfes aplenty, but dung doesn’t rent a place. why? landlords are evil. he could afford a place, just doesn’t see the point. life’s better with some adventure.

appears very neutral in public as it’s beneficial to his role in the order??? 

.... tortured artist. writes poetry and loves to draw and paint. 

tattooed the fuck up. some are his own designs.

can usually be spotted wearing The Coat, a rly expensive, vintage long coat that he once stole of a pureblood. he’s enlarged the pockets with some handy spellwork and pretty much carries everything he owes in there, like his produce and his money and his second pair of shoes and his art supplies and probably some random trash. 

loves animals. he loves stray cats especially <3 they are his kin. 

an anarchist. a bit of a punk. a deep idealist with a cowardly heart so constantly betraying himself (and sometimes others?)

queer! enby! genderfluid! i used he/him pronouns throughout this intro but dung truly doesn’t give a damn what u use. loves to dress up in feminine clothes. 

has a ton of aliases, lol, the most important one being marigold fincher. 

cusses too fuckin much to be healthy :/

oh no he is a big sad insecure kid deep inside :/ dont tell anyone how embarrassing!!!! shhhh!! it’s a secret.

quick connection ideas

victim. wow please. if your character is rich. let me steal from u. pick ur pockets. break into ur house. get some of ur stuff and drop it on the black market. 

customer. dung sells. whatever u need. drugs. weird magical things. ask and ye shall receive. his prices are whack but he does deliver <3

pal. party friends! order friends! random encounter friends! dung has a trashmouth and loves to talk pls let him chat u up and u will never be rid of him <3

couch. he couch surfs. a lot. if ur character trusts dung enough to let him into their home (which they shouldnt) then pls let him sleep over for a night. he will leave a strangely expensive necklace on ur kitchen table as a thank u. or wilted flowers. no in between.

skeptic. ur char is in the order and thinks dung is a liability and maybe they have a point. a point mundungus would rather not face :)

dmle bitches. dung hates anyone authoritative but esp the coppers at the ministry (hit wix & aurors) (yea he calls them coppers sorry he doesnt respect them enough to call them aurors <3). give me that doug judy/jake peralta dynamic. or just someone in the dmle who is like ... sigh this guy again??? 

fwb/one night stand/fling/etc. he’s a bit slutty <333 give him some ppl he’s hooked up with / will hook up with.

[bombshellsandbluebells]

hey friend, i mean this genuinely, but what's overtly romantic about Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship? maybe I'm not remembering a scene, but what does the show do that shows them being obviously romantic with each other? to me, the soundtrack including a "romantic" song while they eat lunch isn't really enough, as a lot of mid-2000s queerbaiting shows did similar things to wink at queer audiences in a way that cishets wouldn't notice.

Hi friend. Thank you for asking. I’ll try to explain my thoughts best as I can.

Here’s why I don't read Aziraphale and Crowley as queerbaiting: usually when queerbaiting happens, there's something used to suggest a queer relationship (a line, a scene, certain framing, marketing decisions - a wink and you'll miss it moment like you said) to entice queer audiences to watch and consume the media, and then afterwards a moment that explicitly goes back on that and denies it.

My understanding is that the point of queerbaiting is literally to bait audiences to watch. It's an unfulfilled promise of delivering content that people want to see that the media has no true desire to follow through with. It's to pretend to cater to an audience in order to gain that audience without actually delivering what they want.

Ex. Riverdale specifically cutting a trailer to include a scene of the two main girls kissing so that people would see the trailer, assume it means the show is going to explore a queer relationship with those characters, only for it to be revealed when the show actually airs that that scene truly meant nothing and was just a one-off moment to entice a certain audience. (I might be wrong on this, I don't actually watch Riverdale but this is what I gathered from Tumblr.)

Ex. Supernatural having moments between Dean and Cas that read as incredibly romantic, only to then follow up with a million moments that directly contradict that reading. Dean directly saying, "You're our brother, Cas" after a scene that got read as romantic. Etc. etc.

Ex. Marvel including blink-and-you’ll-miss-it representation to keep a certain audience loyal and tuning into their media under the guise that they’re supportive allies without ever actually focusing on queer stories.

To me, Good Omens never did that. It never had that moment that went "oh no, you're reading this wrong." It never denied or contradicted or went back on anything that suggested romantic feelings between Crowley and Aziraphale.

I feel like their relationship is treated with respect in the show. It's treated as important. It is the center of the show and arguably the most important relationship in the entire narrative, even though, importantly to note, Good Omens is NOT a romance. It is a story about stopping the apocalypse first and foremost, not just about Crowley and Aziraphale and their relationship. The main themes are about choosing your own fate and the relationships in the show directly relate to that (Adam choosing the Them, Newt/Anathema getting together initially because of a prophecy and Anathema then making the decision to stay with him after a book is no longer telling her what to do, and Crowley and Aziraphale choosing each other when their nature tells them they shouldn't.)

But Az/Crowley's relationship is still framed romantically. Think of the way moments between them are shot and edited. The music choices not just at the end but throughout the whole piece. The scene where Crowley saves the books and significant time is spent focusing on Aziraphale's reaction. The scene between them in the car. Them choosing each other in the end over everything. The way they look at each other and the way the editing handles that.

If Az/Crowley were a man and a woman, no one would think twice about labeling their relationship as romantic even without explicit "I love yous" or a kiss or sex. And granted, yes that happens with other media that is used as queerbaiting. BUT again, the most significant thing to me is that nothing in the text ever goes against the idea that they are in love. There's not one moment where they go "no, no I don't feel that way, he's just a friend" or anything else to contradict a romantic reading. The editing, the writing, the music choices, the way scenes are framed, the filmmaking in general is all very deliberate and at no point does it ever suggest that you SHOULDN'T interpret it romantically. (And frankly, I am a huge supporter of the idea that media is getting too lazy with it's visual storytelling and that MORE things should be shown purely through the filmmaking rather than dialogue. I think that framing their relationship the way they do is stronger than an "i love you" in dialogue without doing the work in the filmmaking, but that's a topic for another time.)

And those filmmaking choices were used deliberately from start to finish, all the way to the ending scene of them at lunch together.

I do want to say that I absolutely understand the reason why people felt let down. People want desperately to see themselves and their experiences represented in media, and there has been too long of a history of media promising something that people desperately latch onto only for it to not be sincere. And because of that, people want things to be expressed in media so explicitly that it can't be denied. I absolutely understand that. I just don't think that that always means that things have to be directly spoken in dialogue or confirmed with the things we think they need to be confirmed with (sex/kissing). I think film and tv can include things sincerely just using film language and filmmaking choices and for it to still be real and sincere and intended.

Ultimately I guess what I'm saying is I think queerbaiting is a very specific marketing tactic that happens with the end goal of getting viewers to tune in without actually delivering on what you know they're looking for, and I just don't feel that Good Omens falls into that. I felt like I was watching a story about an important relationship that was portrayed as the Ultimate Most Important relationship in these characters life in a genuine way, not being sold a false promise that the show later explicitly denied and contradicted. I never felt like the show said "gotcha" to me or "no you were wrong for reading it that way" or "of course that's not what that meant" which always happens with queerbaiting.

I was just watching a story about the apocalypse and one important relationship in that story. And I personally felt incredibly seen and represented by how Aziraphale and Crowley's story was told. Maybe not everyone did, but I did.

[listentotheshityousay]

Opening Line Tag Game

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

I was tagged by the wonderful @actualbird​, so I’ve compiled my first lines from the latest completed fics on ao3:

1. Two months after the team relocates to Portland, Eliot receives a phone call from a number he doesn’t recognize just as he’s loading the dishwasher. (a bite of my heart, Leverage)

2. There are three things that Eliot has begrudgingly, painfully, wholeheartedly accepted and made his peace with: (getting me through the night, Leverage)

3. Quinn is nineteen when he meets Eliot Spencer. (stuck in the dark, Leverage)

4. Eliot’s been to a lot of places around the world. (down like new york city (wild like los angeles), Leverage

5. Eliot doesn’t realize it until he’s already knocked the other guy out. (like you touch nobody, Leverage)

6. Quinn is peering down the scope of his sniper rifle when somebody steps in front of his target, blocking her off from view. (what’s left of my right mind, Leverage)

7. This is probably the worst idea they’ve ever had. (fun in a minute (when we could push all the limits), Leverage)

8. It’s twenty minutes after midnight when Quinn gets a call from an unknown number. (never been the best (at letting go), Leverage)

9. When Tony wakes up, it’s in the middle of his funeral. (some I had to leave behind, MCU)

10. After everybody pays their respects at Mr. Sta—Tony’s funeral, after watching the arc reactor float away until Peter can barely see it, Happy and Pepper herd the guests back into the cabin. (The Iron Inheritance, MCU)

11. There is no true beginning to fear. (all resistance wearing thin, The Magnus Archives)

12. It starts like this: it’s the night of Jeremy’s birthday and they’ve gotten themselves marvelously drunk to celebrate the fact that they can now both be legally wasted. (a little bit of tender, Be More Chill)

13. The morning the audition results are posted, Michael drags Jeremy by the wrist to the bulletin board outside the auditorium and doesn’t let go while Jeremy reads the cast list. (Endgame, Be More Chill)

14. It's a regular Saturday afternoon at the mall when it all goes to hell. (for your eyes only, Be More Chill)

15. Michael is seventeen when the monster takes Jeremy. (across the river, into the sea, Be More Chill)

16. It’s three minutes to seven when Brooke feels a weight press onto her stomach, specifically right over her bladder. (Restoration, Reparation, Be More Chill)

17. “So,” Jenna says at lunch, “what’s up with you and Ashley Parker?” (Protector, Be More Chill)

18. There are days when Michael misses music. (you say you're okay (I'm gonna heal you anyway), Be More Chill)

19. Aaron Davis doesn’t see the news until hours later, after his ice cream melted into goo and the webbing that trapped his hand finally dissolved enough for him to unstick himself from his car. (a little gray area (where I can keep you safe), MCU)

20. Shamelessly Queer Up In Prospect, more widely known as SQUIP, is a popular LGBT nightclub at the northern edge of Prospect Heights. (your song’s got me feeling like, Be More Chill)

So, generally speaking, I’m not great with openings! I put in a lot more effort into sticking my landings with the perfect ending lines, but openings? I try to make them as painless (for both me and the reader) as possible. And by painless, I mean that it should be an immediately smooth entry into the fic.

My most common method of accomplishing that: start in media res. Just get the action rolling by jumping into the middle of s scene. Start with maybe when or where the scene is taking place, or what the hell the character is doing. Just open the scene up so that the reader falls in step with you to follow where the story takes them. It’s easy, and maybe nothing special, but hey, I’m trying to make it easy for me, too. Writing impressive first lines are hard!

Another way I like to open my fics: a good short hook. Something that either delivers the premise in one go, or is just interesting/funny/mysterious enough for the reader to want to read what comes next. I like writing hooks, because they’re cooler, but also they’re harder to come up with. 

My current favorite line is #3 up there, because the fic ends with a perfect parallel and it is so deliciously satisfying to me. A close runner up is #9, because c’mon, it’s a good line.

Thank you for tagging me, zak! As per my usual modus operandi, I won’t really be tagging anybody specifically, but feel free to give this a go and tag me as your starter! 

[deliciousscaloppine]

Hot takes galore 2: A brief overview of fandom backlashes that influenced fanfiction writing traditions as I have personally experienced them.

In this segment we examine...THE INDOMITABLE MARY SUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, as I was entering fandom in 2008 (Bleach, a manga by Kubo Tite), the hottest, sweattiest discourse pertained perhaps to Mary Sues. I thought the hatred of Mary Sues had completed its cycle and it was dead and gone in our days, BUT I happened upon a post that said that we are all stanning Moxiang Tongxiu’s OCs (original characters), in a sort of admonishing tone, and I couldn’t help but smile.

For back in the day, OCs, were termed self-inserts at best, and if they were a female protagonist that would sideline the canonical cast of characters then they were Mary Sues. And there were as many people hating original characters, and Mary Sues in particular that I remember sitting up all night thinking on whether I should post or not this fic that had some OCs in it that were there to just deliver some messages.

And of course this bled into accusations of writing canonical characters as basically “original characters” or “self-inserts”, by use of the term “ooc” (out of character). Personally, I thought this was over, but recently Riri accused me of disregarding the existing characterization and turning the CQL characters into my own original characters...for KINKY HAVOC IN VOLCANO PALACE!

An unjust accusation, I feel, Riri, because I do my damnedest to maintain characterization even under the wildest circumstances. 

People were looking to extend their enjoyment of the existing characters and story, and for some reason fanfic authors could come under fire for not catering to that, and writing for their personal self-fulfillment. 

And there were as many people writing oc’s and Mary Sues as there were people hating them, and the writers for it. It was chaos, there were journals (i was in livejournal) devoted to roasting mary sues, laughing at authors etc. If you came in fandom after me, you live in much much gentler times, and perhaps you have the Mary Sue to thank for that, because the Mary Sue kickstarted a lot of fandom feminist discourse.

Back in the day they usually determined “Mary Sue” as an overpowered, female character, whom everyone loved even though she might not be particularly charming (by whose standards?), who was adept at everything, knew everything, felt everything etc. 

The thing is that Mary Sues did not seem to exist only in fanfiction, but everywhere around us, whenever there would be a project film/show/comic/book that had a strong female protagonist.

And that was because fandom and male nerd culture were intertwined. Anime, games, comic books were heavily “invaded” by swaths of girls who were not quite fulfilled by corny pop stars, or saccharine rom coms, and seeing that there were no female power fantasies available in these media, they created their own.

It was a very interesting time because if you remember, Marvel Movies started getting made around that time, riding on that convention power, which was dominated by male nerd culture - and that is why they gave so little screen time to female characters, because the demographic was pretty thoroughly examined and they were found to dislike any and every female character that was not there to validate the male character’s cishetero sexuality (YEAH BABY)

I mean women, actresses, female characters had a good portion in media, and the marvel cinematic universe and its imitators pretty much sidelined all these people very aggressively. Male stories started exploding and taking over during this time, exploiting that very vocal male nerd demographic. 

But where is the backlash you ask, because so far we’ve only seen the oppression. 

I saw a lot of writers struggle with the validity of the female character, and then the validity of female writing. They conflated writing female characters, as writing without examining themselves, or attaining a neutral voice and a role of representing accurately reality (lol). Writing Mary Sues was bad writing, and at some point all women were Mary Sues.

...So can you guess what happened?

A lot of these people turned to male slash in order to cope. Before the Mary Sue hate, male slash was a considerable but not dominant piece on the fanfic pie, which was mostly dominated by main het ships. Male slash was already enjoyed by female heterosexual audiences, but it started gaining more and more traction until a term was coined (shipping goggles), and accusations were once more flung: that fangirls will ship any two white dudes - not untrue. 

This audience was not very friendly to actual gay people. There were all sorts of strange views passing before my bespectacled eyes at the time. People proclaiming that they loved yaoi (i was in manga, so this was the term used), but would not watch gay porn, and thought gay people were gross. And in the case where gay people were in fandom these people often complained of not being included/invited in fandom activities, or having minimal readership from groups that promoted male slash, but not gay writers.

This is why I often say fandom is not a friendly place for lgbtq people, because this type of audience still exists, even if it had to suppress their discomfort and assimilate the rhetoric of allyship at some point. And sadly a lot of people who dominated these early discussions about fandom becoming more lgbtq friendly since it consumed such relationships in media, managed to set this climate of dishonesty where everyone is pro-lgbtq in theory, but not in action.

Meaning a lot of stereotyping that is not endemic to actual lgbtq communities. Like top-bottom (most people are verses), whiny bottom, subby bottom, violent top, aggressive sex, hypersexual gay characters, almost complete erasure of bisexuality, lesbians what are they?, a complete and absolute fear in portraying trans characters, suppression of genderfluidity, accusing people of writing male gay characters as female characters as a form of wish-fulfillment or supposed homophobia.

A while ago I saw this article asking why lgbtq people are so mean to each other that confused me thoroughly, until I remembered this call out phase that happened a while ago and still goes on, where everyone blames everyone else of abusing and gaslighting them, friendships falling out etc, which is not at all the reality of older lgbtq scenes, because these were not formed online under this climate. 

And because fandom is a vehicle for self-exploration a lot of people to this day conflate consuming lgbtq relationships through media as being lgbtq themselves, or these “actual” relationships being set as these other fictional “idealized” relationships. Whereas in older lgbtq scenes a lot of people come into them by realizing their attraction to actual, real, live people and not characters, or hot celebrities.

I am not saying that current lgbtq people who discovered that about themselves online are lying, or lying to themselves, but they definitely came out in an environment of fake acceptance, and have a hard time reconciling reality with that lie of acceptance through no fault of their own, of course, because they never developed the language and the understanding that language brings in order to communicate amongst them. The characteristics were set by a group outside of them that might be pro gay marriage, and having a cool gay friend, and the inherent tragedy of homosexuality or something, but are not really for it - as a very wise queer eye contestant once said. 

And so every trespass by their own people, becomes a proof of this generalized rejection with tremendous consequences for young people’s mental health. YOU ARE BEING GASLIT IT’S TRUE - but not by your own people, it’s just a miscommunication going on there.    

BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MARY SUE. She changed. She stopped seeking love, sex, and power, or at least pretended that she did not want any of these things, or did not understand them, she stopped speaking, and became more stoic so people wouldn’t judge her opinions, and finally one day she went on to accomplish great things, because women seeking representation was also a pretty set demographic, and somebody could and would exploit that!

The Twilight Saga, Fifty Shades of Grey, even Hunger Games, are the media progeny of the Mary Sue powering through the entirely of male nerd culture. In a whole decade where people wanted Marvel to release a Black Widow movie, there have been three major spy/action girl movies that did very well in the box office, and since producing and releasing a movie usually takes three years, i’d say the audience was heard loud and clear - even though not by Marvel. 

And the side girls in these Marvel movies, or other action movies, became more and more badass - they all went from damsel in distress, to saving the hero, and of course the male characters were subsequently “queer-ified” until everyone was finally happy, and nerd culture was exposed as having been infiltrated by neonazis and that’s why it was making those unreasonable demands for no women ever in the first place.

And everything was right in the world, except that it was not. Because...girls had also been infiltrated by “neonazis”. A lot of these media, and a lot of these “white” Mary Sues, fall under many conservative criteria. Conservatism being a nice word for fascism. 

A few examples is the person of color always dies, or is brutalized, or is admonished constantly even as they shadow the protagonist in order to reinforce their inherent radiance. Characters who might be poc in books or in the anime (hur hur), are whitewashed in the visual media. The women are almost never comfortable with sex or romance, always thinking about the future and amassing power, not for themselves, but for the benefit of the resistance, or the family, or any other entity they belong to. And of course they are forever incredibly flawed - as opposed to idealized versions of male heroes always on the side of good for the right reasons! Also a minimal cast of women, with one woman being the protagonist, and the rest functioning as side characters or mostly antagonists.

So every time you feel a slight trepidation for not being the right type of lgbtq for writing something that is not strictly anal, or fear to include feminine characters, every time you erase yourself from the narrative it is it, the spectre of the Mary Sue coming to haunt you with a “We won, what more do you want?”  

[howlsmovinglibrary]

End of the Decade Favorite Book Tag

I was tagged by @bookcub to do this a while back and hadn’t had a chance to complete it, however I think it’s a pretty awesome tag so I’m doing it now. Here is a shout out to my 2010 bookish faves.

1. High fantasy books that are obsession worthy 

Anything by N.K. Jemisin, who I think might genuinely be one of the Authors Of The Decade: the Broken Earth trilogy if you’re up for something heavy, the Inheritance trilogy if not (although it still has its dark moments).

 Other good high fantasies that made my decade: Uprooted by Naomi Novik, The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie, The Young Elites by Marie Lu, The Lady Trent quartet by Marie Brennan.

 2. Urban fantasy books filled with people you want as friends 

The Demon’s Lexicon books by Sarah Rees Brennan, I genuinely would want these people as my friends which, given the group, is saying something.

Other urban fantasies I’ve enjoyed: The Immortals by Jordanna Max Brodsky, The Dark Days Club by Alison Goodman, and, because this is a decade meme and I have to be honest: Shadowhunters by Cassandra Clare, my OG fictional obsession.

 3. Portal fantasy you fall in love with multiple times 

Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire – I’m not a huge fan of the other books in this series but this one is very good.

Also The Thursday Next books by Jasper Fforde, Kingdom of Copper by S.A. Chakraborty, and all of Holly Black’s faerie books from Tithe to Queen of Nothing (I’m counting them as portal because there are kind of two worlds)

4. Novella that just makes you sigh cause it’s so lovely 

My second-to-last book of the decade, This Is How You Lose the Time War.

Also Martha Wells Murderbot series, because it is wonderful.

5. Historically inaccurate but laugh out loud 

The Falconer trilogy by Elizabeth May. It’s historical Edinburgh! But with fairies! And flying machines! And an apocalypse!

6. Satire that makes you reconsider your whole world view 

Not really satire but Uglies by Scott Westerfeld was the introduction little 2010 me needed for feminism, and Tiger Lily by Jodi Lynn Anderson was my introduction to notions of colonialism and literary critique.

7. Happy, happy, happy and sad, sad, sad

Howl’s Moving Castle and In Other Lands are both my go-to happy reads. And I’m pretty sure my soul still has scars from where it was ripped out by a) The Book of Lost Things by John Connelly and b) A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness.

8. No, I’m not to old for kids’ books, what are you talking about???

The Varjak Paw books are woefully underappreciated. Warrior Cats walked so Varjak Paw could run and do Mesopotamian martial art magic.

9. I’m also not too old for picture books either and never will be 

I’m going to take this as a graphic novel question and renew my daily plea for everyone, ever, to read the amazing queer urban fantasy splendour that is The Wicked and the Divine.

10. Whoa, never expected that ending and to have that much fun!!!

The answer to this question is just. Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir.

11. Like I’m scared, but I’m happy about it

I very rarely read actual horror but all the creepy shit that Frances Hardinge includes in her (children’s) books is quality, in particular The Lie Tree and Cuckoo’s Song.

12. Classically favorite 

Ugh, I have dedicated too much of this decade to classics. The ones I don’t resent are: Beowulf, As You Like It by Shakespeare, Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, Lud-in-the-Mist by Hope Mirelees and The Tomb of Atuan by Ursula Le Guin.

13. Party in your ears 

The Adventure Zone podcast. It got me into podcasts, and D&D.

14. Boom!!! Pow!!! Wham!!! 

Ms. Marvel and The Epic Crush of Genie Lo - both wonderfully written, badass teenager superheroines.

15. Oh wow, that’s me!!

I very rarely see myself in books – I don’t know if that’s part of why I read? Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia is the closest I’ve ever gotten.

16. I can’t stop thinking about this book

Honestly, no one book is this for me. But Cloud Atlas for better or worse was the book that got me into literary studies so I’ll pick that!

17. A book you got from Tumblr that made it to your fave

Ancillary Mercy by Ann Leckie, Peter Darling by Austin Chant, and the basic bitch nomination, Six of Crows.

18. A book you had high expectations for and then the author OVER delivered

Warcross by Marie Lu. The second book is a little more lacklustre but this first book is just fantastic. Also The Cruel Prince – I already loved all of Holly Black’s fairy books but I wasn’t expecting this to be so beautifully ruthless.

I tag: literally anyone. I’ve been out of the booklr loop for about six months. Be brave! Do the tag! Tag me so I can follow ya! 

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: July 2019

I’ve really stepped up my comics reading having fully embraced my local libraries. You can just borrow them whenever you want! Also saw lots of movies and watched a lot of the Bachelorette. It’s been a good summer. 

……….FILM……….

Midsommer (2019) Oh wow. I’m not one for scary movies but this never felt like a scary movie. Sure it was definitely “horror” in the sense that so much of it is horrific, but it never relied on the typical “scary movie” tactics. For this, I am grateful.

Paddington 2 (2017) The perfect counterpoint and emotional reset after our matinee screening of Midsommer. This video does a better job of explaining why I love these movies, but if you haven’t got the time then know that the Paddington movies are a masterclass in efficient storytelling, visual comedy, and good natured entertainment for all ages. It’s not quite the same as Pixar sneaking in jokes that only adults will get, it’s more that it tells a universal story with familiar characters that land at any age. Just beautiful.

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) Okay so I get that illustrating a tie-in book for this movie means I likely can’t be objective, but I really dug the film. Solid themes that carried through to most of the characters and their arcs, as well as some of the most comic-book accurate visuals I could have hoped for. And I really dig the Parker/MJ dynamic here. Ugh it’s just all so good.

Alien (1979) I don’t need to tell you how well this holds up. Still as subversive and terrifying as it was 40 years ago. Still not sure what the alien was doing in the escape pod before Ripley shows up.

The Dead Don’t Die (2019) This was a weird one. Meta zombie movies already exist. Zombies as social commentary already exist. Zombie comedies already exist. I suppose I was just hoping for something...new? It was all of these things, but it didn’t seem to push any individual element into unexplored territory. The cast seemed like they were having a good time, but I don’t think it quite translated to the screen. I’d recommend Shaun of the Dead, Fido, or Zombieland instead.

……….TELEVISION……….

Instant Hotel (Episode 2.01 to 2.06) A 6-episode season of Australian reality tv judging Airbnbs? A cast that includes an 80 year old trying to look 20 and perfect couple who find each other hilarious? Sign me up. It’s available on (Canadian) Netflix but if you can find it, check it out.

Stranger Things (Episode 3.01 to 3.08) Without spoiling too much, I’ll say that this season was on par with the first, and felt better than the second. It’s not as moody and contained, but it really embraces what I take to be the spirit of 80s media. I feel like the early eps were setting up more of a zombie/body-snatchers plot but I don’t think the series likes to stray too far from the core of that first season. Super fun, wildly silly, and once I embraced the lighter tone it really delivered.

Queer Eye (Episode 4.01 to 4.08) This season really seemed to focus on philanthropic and independent businesses and I’m here for it. There was a Wayfair product placement towards the end which...felt out of place given the politics of the show, but dang if this series isn’t a light in the darkness!

Neon Genesis Evangelion (Episode 1.01 to 1.03) What a mood. It’s a slow burn but I’m really digging that the world feels established and that we’ve come into something well after all the big revelations happened. Now that the crazy has settled, we get to spend more time seeing how the crazy affects the day-to-day. Or what the day-to-day looks like in a new, wild world. Digging it.

The Bachelorette (Episode 15.08 to 15.13) Just wild. Watching that rollercoaster with Luke P was excellent television and terrible dating but that finale was *chef’s kiss* perfect.

……….READING……….

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett (Page 230 of 406) Fun so far! There’s far less of the angel/demon relationship than I expected, but that’s only because I’m going off of what the Amazon show has been promoting. I need to do more research into how they shared the writing because the humour and meandering chapters really feel like Pratchett. I’m keen to see where it all goes!

Mr. Splitfoot by Samantha Hunt (Abandoned) I read half the novel before deciding this one wasn’t for me and it’s not because it wasn’t well-written or an engaging story. I found this on a list of good reads for those who like Wonderland and Alice’s adventures, but I’d say the links between the two were...thin...at best. When you’re expecting fanciful worlds and exaggerated characters, but get far more human (and all too real) trauma then it’s a jarring experience. I read a synopsis of the last 100ish pages that I missed and admit that I think I would’ve been satisfied with the conclusion, but it’s a bummer that the first 60% of the book felt like a holding pattern to get to the good stuff.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 5 by Ryoko Kui (Complete) Still one of my favourite fantasy comics. The characters are nuanced and are continuing to get developed, as is the setting and supporting cast! Every so often it’ll break format, but I appreciate that the gimmick (including a monster-based recipe in each chapter) isn’t getting in the way of good storytelling. I love everything about this and you should be reading it.

Superior Spider-Man Vol. 1 & 2 by Dan Slott, Ryan Stegman, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Humbero Ramos, and so many more (Complete) I wasn’t sure about this before picking it up but it’s a fascinating study of Spider-Man. It feels like an answer to all those that focus on plot holes and logic. Doc Ock has taken over Spider-Man’s body and he, as the epitome of troll, is just going through and “fixing” what Peter Parker gets wrong. It’s an interesting study in learning more about someone with opposing views. It even keeps Parker’s spirit around to dramatically and comedically respond to his life being taken over by a villain. It’s good! Not the first Spider-Book you should pick up, but worth reading if you want a spider-change. 

Saga of the Swamp Thing Vol. 1 by Alan Moore, John Totleben, & Steve Bissette (Complete) After hearing good things about the TV series based on this character (still haven’t watched it) I figured I’d check this out. Knowing very little about the character going in, I loved every second of it! It’s a little bit horror, a little bit classic superheroics, and just a touch philosophical. Can’t recommend this enough.

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Vol. 2: Squirrel You Know It's True by Ryan North, Erica Henderson,  (Complete) I can’t (and won’t) stop praising this book. It’s fun, creative, and funny! Pitting Squirrel Girl against an evil Squirrel just makes sense and is a fun break from the classic Marvel villains. Hopefully we get back to more of the classics, as that’s what I enjoyed most about volume 1, but it’s good to see that the book doesn’t shy away from variety.

Delilah Dirk and the Turkish Lieutenant by Tony Cliff (Complete) Such a great adventure comic! Set in the early 1800s, it’s like a Female Indiana Jones adventure with all the swashbuckling and plundering that you’d want out of a treasure hunter. Mature in its handling of a number of topics, but done in a light tone and without heavy violence. I think it was sorted as a young adult graphic novel in my library, and that feels fitting. Stellar art and charming characters.

The Undertaking of Lily Chen by Danica Novgorodoff (Complete) Very character driven and an interesting foundation for the story (set in northern China when tradition demanded men be married even after they’ve died). There are really inspiring moments with the watercolour artwork and while it didn’t always resonate with me, it really served the story.

……….GAMING……….

Maze of the Blue Medusa  (Satyr Press) We very nearly had our first character death! Almost multiple! But they’re playing with level 9ish characters and with quick wits it’s proving difficult to defeat them. They’re still kinda wandering around this maze, but I think it’ll all start to come together soon!

And that’s it! As always, feel free to send me anything you recommend to see, read, hear, play, and so on.

Happy Wednesday!

[phdna]

*arriving a month late with Starbucks and an uninteresting Endgame review*

This took me forever to write because work has been very intense lately, but I have thoughts I want to write down, for my own future reference when I’m an old woman looking back on my life, if for nothing else.

SPOILERS AHEAD, of course!

From whatever little I’ve been online since Endgame came out, it seems like the internet has been on fire swearing undying love, eternal hate and everything in between. I’m used to that because the MCU fandom has a tendency to be like that, but it feels like this time is more intense, which puzzled me a little bit, as it mostly adheres to the Marvel rules of storytelling, and people tend to not fuss over movies that do that as much as they do over movies that break the established MCU patterns. And then I did some reading and watching and talking and it just hit me that people aren’t reacting to Endgame itself, they’re reacting to the MCU. Both people who think it’s the best movie ever and people who think it’s absolute trash aren’t talking a lot about the movie, they’re talking about how the movie handled the end of this long journey that was the MCU. (Exception: time travel. I’ll get back to it in a moment!) I know I’m having a Captain Obvious moment here, but bear with me for a moment, I’m going somewhere with this.

Here’s the thing: as long as there are more movies coming, we can all overlook things we dislike about the MCU really well – “they’ll just fix it later,” right? Or we can fix it ourselves, even if we don’t write/read fics – the endless theories about what the next movies are gonna be about are in large part wish-fulfillment. Maybe next time Marvel will have more representation of all kinds, maybe next time Marvel will develop their female characters as much as their male counterparts, maybe next time Marvel will focus on this particular relationship that is either underdeveloped or so developed that it should get more attention, maybe next time Marvel will direct a character arc towards where I think it should go. But when the end arrives, we have to face that we aren’t in charge of the MCU and have sometimes wildly different expectations that what the Powers That Be have in mind. We have been emotionally invested in this universe for a long time – we bring the MCU with us in our lives even away from screens – and it sucks a little to realize that, ultimately, we are powerless to impact it. If Endgame was 100% everything you’ve always wanted for every single character and for the universe as whole, great! You’re still gonna mourn the end a little bit, but it’s cool! But if you feel like even one character of the dozens in the cast got the short end of the stick, you’re gonna be upset because don’t we all wish we could sit down with Marvel and teach them Why They Are Wrong About This Character?

I hope I’m not sounding holier-than-thou, like I’m being absolutely cool and adult about the whole thing. Hell no. I’d fight Kevin Feige in a parking lot any time, and have been ready to do that since huh… the MCU started. (Especially because the MCU has taken over the comics and I like 616 more than I like the MCU, so I’ve got beef with Marvel for that.)

So yeah, I have plenty of “What? No! Whose idea was that, that’s terrible!” moments, but I always try to focus on what I enjoyed more than on what I hated. Sometimes it doesn’t work and I get forever bitter, but most of the time, I make an active effort to 1) be grateful that WE EVEN HAVE GOOD SUPERHERO MOVIES AT ALL and 2) watch the movies I’m actually watching instead of watching the movies I think I should watch. For instance, I want to set myself on fire whenever I think about how un-family-like the Avengers are in the MCU, but since being a family isn’t a story the MCU is trying to tell, I consciously try to find something I enjoy about the constant conflicts, such as what they tell us about what each character believes, and how they keep coming back together to do the right thing despite their differences.

Arguably, that’s too much effort, and I get why some people want to be entertained and get upset if the MCU doesn’t deliver that entertainment – I mean, movies are supposed to be fun. But since I was a kid, I’ve always been a fan of imperfect things I have no control over, and I muddle through what I don’t enjoy to get to the shiny bits that give me goosebumps and keep me up at night feeling giddy over how good something was. It’s part of how I react to stuff I like by now. I don’t know, maybe it’s my History degree talking, but I don’t see what the big deal is with saying “Some of it sucks, some of it is brilliant, some of it has to be challenged on the ground of human rights, but overall I’m interested in learning more about it.”

Why the essay on how to engage with the MCU?

Because no matter how I think about it, my primary opinion about Endgame isn’t “I think it’s good” or “I think it’s bad” but just “I’m thankful.” That’s it. I can’t look at Endgame and see it as an isolated movie. I look at it and think “God, I was just out of school when Tony said I am Iron Man and now I’m a teacher and the MCU has always been there helping me keep track of the passage of time all these years.” Here, have a bad analogy: Endgame is when you finish a long travel and there’s nothing home to eat and you have to unpack and you’re exhausted and normal life is depressing and you have a headache and you’re frustrated that holidays are over and you didn’t do everything you wanted…. but that doesn’t make the entire travel a waste of time, does it? It’s actually the opposite. If the travel sucks, getting home is great. And very, very, very few people walk out of Endgame saying “Thank god this MCU saga is over, ugh, I was following it just out of obligation and I’m glad I’m free now” – I mean, there are people like that, and I can see why, but I also never finish things just out of obligation so I can’t relate. Anyway, mostly, people either expected more because the MCU is good enough to do better or thought this was the perfect ending. I’m both. Some things I loved, some things I really wish would be different, but mostly, I’m, like I said, grateful that the journey was so good that no ending would’ve fully satisfied me.

My biggest problem is with time travel. I’ve never liked the trope (not huge on alternate universes, either!), so I knew this would be a pet peeve even before I watched Endgame. I’m also surprised that apparently nobody involved in the movie can agree on how aforementioned time travel works. Fans certainly can’t. And I don’t think it’s a good thing if your audience is confused by a major part of your movie, even if there is a perfectly good explanation and the audience just didn’t get it. (Which isn’t the case, as apparently there isn’t a perfect explanation.) But you know what? I’m hand-waving it. It’s a convoluted plot device but it made a good movie, so like, whatever. Let it work in ABC way unless XYZ needs to happen, in which case, XYZ is how it’s always worked regardless of how ABC was used before. I don’t care. I’m taking what they say happened and saying “Okay, that’s how it happened” and ignoring the hows and the whys. It’s just bad comic book logic on the big screen, I’ve been rolling with this kind of thing since I was a literal child. Having said that, I don’t know what year it is in the MCU, I don’t know how Spider-Man will work, I’m not touching Cap’s time paradox with a ten-foot pole, and I’m not even gonna try to understand any of the timeline charts going around online.

My other major problems have to do with real life more than with the movie. The only original female Avenger dies in the same way the only original female Guardian of the Galaxy died, and neither of them get funerals but we do get the men in their lives suffering over it (which switches the focus from mourning the women to the men’s journeys.) Not sure if the joke was that Thor was clinically depressed or if the joke was that Thor was fat, but haha hilarious. The first openly queer character is omg a nameless cameo talking about someone we never see, isn’t the MCU so progressive? (The bar was so low that Marvel had to dig a ditch so they could somehow get lower than that.) Not loving the idea of “Thanos treated Gamora like shit but the Soul Stone recognizes he loved her” and “Tony’s dad was awful but Tony can Forgive Him” being presented as touching – it’s creepy af and makes me wonder if the MCU will end up saying Alexander Pierce actually cared about Bucky somewhat or something of that sort. Female hero team up: unironically loved it and want it projected on my tombstone (it was one of my favorite part), but it’s a little disturbing that almost none of them had much of a storyline in the movie because they don’t have much of a storyline in the MCU – it really highlights that Marvel has a boy’s club problem still. Now, none of these things make for a bad movie, it just reminds me that Marvel has a long way to go with they want to become inclusive.

Okay, now on to storylines…

Tony. Loved it. I love how the Russos direct Tony (I do have a problem with how M&M write Tony, sometimes, though, and always have) because they love to highlight how soft Tony’s heart is. Part of what makes the character interesting in any universe is that he’s willing to do morally shady stuff when he thinks he’s justified and he tends to think he’s justified because he knows exactly how smart he is, but if you explore this borderline antihero behavior without a deep commitment to reminding the audience that Tony is emotional and gentle, you end up with Reed Richards. 616!Tony will always be sweeter than MCU!Tony (even though 616!Tony’s dad literally tried to beat emotions out of him, while MCU!Tony’s dad more ignored him than actively tried to make him colder, but that’s besides the point) but Tony was so openly loving in this movie, and it helps make his death hit home, why so many people will miss Iron Man and Tony I pity Morgan a lot because she won’t remember her dad, but the only way to feel like the torch has truly been passed to other heroes was to kill Tony – keep him alive in any way and characters are gonna want his advice even if he stops fighting. I want to see how other heroes will protect a world without Iron Man. It’s exciting and brand new and feels a bit like when Fury said in 2008 that Tony isn’t the only superhero.

Steve. Let’s take the time paradox at face value and say everything goes well in every possible timeline and nobody suffers more than they would if he hadn’t done his time-heist thing, because I think that’s what the movie wanted to imply. I’m actually happy he got to be with Peggy. It’s not how I’d write him, mind you, but I always knew MCU Steve was being written as someone who is inherently out of place in the modern world. In the comics, Steve has a culture shock and he mourns people, but he finds a new family in the Avengers and truly becomes part of this century. MCU Steve was never that guy. And that’s okay, it’s a valid take! Not what I’d do, but given his storyline throughout the other movies, I think it’s a very satisfying ending that feels very organic. Saying “screw everything, I’ll do what I think it’s important” has been Steve’s constant in all movies, and it’s nice that he learned that he is important too, not just everybody else. Handing the shield was also very important – no “I think he’d want you to have it” to fuel conspiracy theories in the future: Steve made a good decision and that’s fine. (And I’ll cut a bitch if y’all keep saying “maybe Bucky had the shield before” because Sam can be a first choice fgs!!!)

Professor Hulk is a thing and I liked it more than I thought I would. Hopefully we’ll see more of him. I liked Bruce and I liked the Hulk, but somehow this version of him made me go from “Yeah, they’re nice” to “PLEASE TELL ME HE’LL HAVE A SOLO MOVIE” so good job in redeeming the Hulk franchise, Marvel! It only took you 10 years to get the right tone, but hey, what matters is that you did it!

Thor…….. Um. Hard. I liked his character arc but hated how it was handled. I’m not even a huge fan of Ragnarok because comedy isn’t my thing, but watching Ragnarok, I could see why the movie worked and the humor didn’t come at the expense of being fair to the character. Endgame felt more like the movie itself was bullying him. They’re laughing at his pain, basically, and it’s just not funny. It bothers me for the same reason it bothers me when people say pre-serum Steve should never leave home – just… no. But then, we got Thor and Frigga and I’d sell a kidney for more Frigga, so, it wasn’t completely awful. Just like, 90%?

Natasha!!! I hope everybody who said Scarjo can’t act paid attention to this movie, because she gave Nat a depth that we haven’t seen since CATWS, and even then, because it was Steve’s story, she was sidelined. That’s the Nat I’ve always wanted in the MCU. …and of course, she’s dead. Luckily, we don’t know anything about MCU!Nat, so we can still get prequels even if they don’t want to bring her back to life. It’s a little shady that she dies (why is it that the randomly decided death always seem to be randomly assigned to whatever the minority in a team is, huh?) but I love that she sacrificed herself for the greater good. It’s a heroic end to a woman who thought she was gonna be a villain her entire life. Oh, oh, oh, I have to say this: Natasha leading the remaining Avengers? Godtier. I’m not much of a fic person but I desperately want fics of that off-screen period where she’s being a boss.

Clint. MCU!Clint never did much for me, so I was impressed that I was rooting so much for him during the movie. I don’t know if he’ll just retire completely, but I’m hoping he doesn’t so we can see more of him in the MCU.

Okay, that’s the original Avengers and I’ve already written……. Too much. So I’ll stop – sort of – here.

But first, other random comments.

Fight choreography? On point, 10/10, would let Marvel beat me up to experience these sequences myself

“I am inevitable.” “I am Iron Man.” I cried so much the screen got blurry and I almost missed the snap. Thank you for this exchange.

I love and support Morgan, but I’m dreading the idea that in a near future, the MCU will get Riri’s entire story and give it to Morgan. Please, MCU, I’m counting on you, have Morgan grow up to befriend Riri, not to steal her role.

Nebula needs a solo movie. Nebula needs a whole cinematic universe, actually. What a character.

Speaking of which, GotG 3 is shaping up to be very cool

Sam being the one to say “On your left” in the movie where he becomes Captain America? Poetic cinema. Also! Sam Wilson is Captain America and both the human being who wants children to grow up in a better world and the geek who wants to see flying Cap in me are equally over the moon with joy

Bucky, my darling, the MCU hasn’t known what to make of you since 2011. It’s okay, Sebastian Stan will always do his magic and make you be Bucky even when Marvel doesn’t fully understand anything about your character

Pepper’s character development in 10 years is protagonist-worthy, I can’t believe how she always only has a couple of scenes every movie

Tom Holland should not be allowed to have crying scenes, they make my heart hurt

The movie feels a lot shorter than it is

There’s a lot more I could say, but I’m writing it on Word (tumblr sometimes eat my text posts as I’m writing them) and the wordcount is nearing 3k, so I better shut up. If you’ve read all of this, please treat yourself to a milkshake, you’re awesome. If there’s anything you want to talk about that I didn’t address (or just… you know, about Marvel in general), my ask and my direct messages are always open. I’ll probably take forever to get back to you (I NEED A VACATION ASAP) but I will eventually answer you and I don’t bite, so please go ahead if you’re curious about my not-so-very-interesting thoughts :)

TL;DR: Endgame isn’t my favorite movie (IM, IM3, CATFA, CATWS and BP all come first, sorry) but it’s up there in the “I can watch this movie a thousand times and I won’t get tired of it” list, and I think it does a fairly good job in ending the Infinity Saga, so I’m basically pleased!