#mars has already mastered rbf

[shawsimmer]

🏡🫶🏽

[sysig]

AGE Gods Horoscopes

Aries: Xoslivae - The goddess of luck, monetary value, and storytelling. Rather masterful are you at weaving a tale or a distraction to make your own way. You've rarely got the extra to spare but when you do, you lavish it on those you hold close. You've also got a knack for getting into and out of situations with the only thing lost being time and a few hairs.

Taurus: Pan - The god(M) of life, growth, rebirth, and evolution. Boy aren't plants cool? Planting yourself and just existing like that sounds way preferable tbh to literally anything else. Well, even if that never comes to pass, at least you can pretend by getting up to your armpits in gardening. Want some zucchini?

Gemini: Zi - The goddess of twins, family, love, and the mind. You're so charming and people want to get to know you so bad, like damn. Your RBF keeps the gross people away, and everyone else who manages to make it past your exterior is rewarded 1000 fold. Your companionship is like a hearth decked out with a rocking chair already impressed into a comfortable sitting position. Also books and reading, those are there too.

Cancer: Koa - The goddess of joy, celebration, hope, and endurance. Well don't you just light up the heckin' room? Soft is an understatement, you're like an eighty layer cake of feathers, cotton, brushed silk, wool, and like five other squishy things. If the sun wasn't the sun, you'd be the sun, but like a sun you could hug.

Leo: Tempest - The goddess of weather, harvest, food, and anger. Just because fertilizer makes crops grow doesn't make it not nasty - everything has its pros and cons and you're more than happy to lay out that chart. 'Cause of that, you're all ready when it's time to start making decisions on what's best, and you've got an impressive enough attitude that most people are gonna agree with you.

Virgo: Swara - The (god) of morality, numbers, and organization. Yeah you're a bit of a straight-laced goody-two-shoes, but like, it's efficient! Nobody can question your methods because you always show your work and get like, three +'s on your A so everyone else can sit down. Nerdiness has come back into vogue anyway, and bowties were always cool.

Libra: Kopanya - The god(dess) of unity, fairness, and peace. Sibling complex isn't really the right word here but let's just go with it. The bonds that make us are so much more important than all the rest of the stupid shit happening, let's hang out with friends and be jovial for once in this mess of an existence. Soft hugs > hard drugs.

Scorpio: Entropy - The (god) of chaos, clutter, disorder, and inevitability. You know that things'll all work out and take a rather breezy approach because of that. You have a bit of a tendency to depend on anyone you view as more level-headed, which ends up working out as long as you pull your weight, which you're pretty good at when push comes to shove. Tired, but in like a horny way.

Sagittarius: Sky - The god(dess) of the pulse of life, of magic, and of sentience. You're incredibly inspiring to others but tend to make long-winded speeches about the miracle of existence(s), which doesn't go over great since everything that has ears to hear you is already kinda over it. You don't care - it's cool.

Capricorn:  Dusm - The god(dess) of celestial harmony, physics, and balance. You're a smart cookie who knows what's up (and where's up) and likes to keep things moving smoothly. A problem-solver who enjoys a watchful eye from waaaay outside the problem itself, but willing to get your hands dirty when the need arises. Invents a word for micro managing on a large scale. 

Aquarius:  Mar - The god of mischief, trickery, games, and mental prowess. You 100% know what's going on pretty much all the time, but that doesn't stop you from pretending otherwise. When someone actually successfully pulls one over on your, you're a little envious you didn't think of it first, but it was a good job.

Pisces: Hiraeth - The god of longing, absence, emptiness, and grief. So, you keep a lot to yourself. That's fine, that well runs deep and chilled, and you've got plenty to spare to the people who need it, and plenty do. It's not often that you need to pour your heart out, but it's always a relief to those who need it most. Kindness, and compassion, are things you have in spades.