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teensoftware444 · 3 years ago

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Best Tinder Hookup Profile

Ever wonder who has the best Tinder profiles? What “best of Tinder” status actually looks like?

Best Hookup Bios For Tinder

Tinder Dating Site Hook Up

Best Tinder Hookup Profile Photos

Here are 3 of the top Tinderers (by likes):

Apart from The Chive, in choosing 5 best hookup Tinder strategies and statistics to get laid we used an interesting piece of advice given by successful male Tinder users on Bustle and official. The Best Tinder Bios to Get Laid. I’m going to come right out and say it; there are no best Tinder bios to get laid. Your Tinder bio is the least important facet of your profile to get laid. If you want to get laid on Tinder, you need good photos first. No matter how witty your profile description is, it won’t make up for unattractive photos.

When these 3 appeared on TV, many viewers were stunned by how ordinary they were.

I mean, they’re good-looking. BUT they’re not the hottest people you’ve ever seen. Instead, what sets them apart is they’ve mastered the art of making a killer Tinder profile. Like this one:

If you’re an average-looking guy who wants to clean up on Tinder like the best, these are the Tinder profile examples you need. Here are their secrets.

1. About Me Examples (Copy-Paste)

According to guys with the most high-performing Tinder profiles, your “about me” tagline needs to be light-hearted and short.

Avoid raising red flags with whining or complaints, sexual innuendo, or anything negative. Try one of these proven Tinder taglines:

“If you like water, you already like 72 percent of me.”

“I’ll treat you the way Kanye treats Kanye.”

It’s fair to say that our interracial dating community represents the enlightened majority in American society. A Gallup poll in 2013 found that 96% of black people and 84% of white people approve marriage between blacks and whites. This means that 87% of Americans overall see no problem with black-white marriage, up from a meager 4% in 1958 1. https://teensoftware444.tumblr.com/post/657489259390959616/elite-singles-interracial-dating. Questions about online dating? Enjoy our ultimate online dating guide; Interracial Dating. If there were previously stereotypes, preconceptions or presumptions about interracial dating, these outdated attitudes are transforming as more and more American singles are seeking partners from other ethnic groups, and couples’ relationships no longer being defined along racial lines.

“I know all the words to ‘Butterfly’ by ‘Crazy Town’.”

“I can make a better sandwich than you.”

(For more suggestions for your Tinder’s “about me” section, check out The Best Funny Tinder Bios for Guys: Clever, Geek, Jock (Copy-Paste).)

2. Tinder Profile Photos

a) Copy the best profiles— use all six slots.

The best Tinder profiles start with a clear shot of the person’s face.

For the rest, variety is key: a pic with friends, in a suit, travel pic, hobby candid, athletic candid.

b) Test your pics on Photofeeler to find your best.

The best of Tinder have great photos of themselves. They aren’t the most attractive people necessarily, but they know how to sell themselves with a picture.

Most guys COMPLETELY FAIL at using pictures that are even as attractive as they are in real life. Most guys choose pics that bring their number down.

Before you waste your Tinder matches on the wrong photos, be sure to run yours through Photofeeler to know exactly how women are responding to them.

Choosing profile pictures this way has been known to increase matches on Tinder by 200-400%.

Go to Photofeeler.com now and give it a try!

Free message dating app. Know all about tinder bio and right swipes here with our best list of suggestions for girls and boys.

I don’t mind telling you- that for whatever reason you think you need to copy paste something about yourself from a web page, you are wrong. I hate beating around the bush so am going to cut right to chase. As gayish and as girlish as it may sound, folks…write what you are. Yeah and do sprinkle some necessary ingredients along with sarcasm, humor, wits, stay cute a bit, reflect you’re a man of words and most importantly for god sake’s don’t fake.Read along everything you need to know about tinder bios to flourish with a maximum number of swipes. I will let you know few best pointers to follow once you are on to write down about you on tinder, and you will see how the plus counting will follow once you build your bio according to your personality traits. Well, there has to be some chance of you knowing the fact that bios are written to let the other party know what you are like.Frankly, the statistics have been done. Yet, needless to say, a human brain works in peculiar ways my friend, mostly when it comes to online dating. Every individual listed are not looking for something special and you will come across that some time or the other. It’s really important to say that reflects your personality and your intentions as a whole. You don’t want yourself lying dead in some dark alley because you dated a criminal or worse scenario you attracted some psychotic to be your date.I am going to show you few of the best bios where you can understand and learn how amazingly you can frame out your words because as long as online dating and tinder is concerned, WORDS play to be a lethal weapon in grabbing attention and gaining a maximum number of swipes.Related article: 10 Best Hookup apps you’re searching for!

6 BEST TINDER BIO FOR BOYS

Boys are a different race altogether and the way their alternatively wired brains function are utterly praiseworthy. I mean come on, if you are a guy reading this, you probably have a smirk on your face because I know you feel me. See there isn’t anything terrific about writing a mind-blowing bio in tinder. It takes nothing more than some smoking words to set the girlish brains on fire with a first glance and BOOM! you’re a right swipe.

1. No Fuss Bio

There is an absolute requirement for being straightforward while you writing on tinder and being a guy its necessary for you lay down your intentions on the table like whiskey on the rocks. Let me just show you an example from a guy’s tinder bio I peeped into from my sister’s phone that sounded something like this-“Like living alone, Food, cold beer, dogs, sci-fi books, rock music, love to discuss and talk about everything related to being creepy, ask me for skating in Michigan lake, people my kind will be appreciated”Dude… even I would swipe back right for this guy for being so straight up. This is how you’ve got to nail the bio shit on Tinder. It’s all very straightforward and this guy seems to know what he wants to reflect to a girl.

2. Creative Stuff

Creativity is picking out your own flaws and selling them a hand on fist. Boys, if you have to rate to the top, you really have to dig out some creative stuff trending on tinder. I mean you won’t imagine the level of creativity guys put into their tinder bios. Don’t believe me yet? Check this out-

“Facts about me only on request.

I go six feet without heels and 6’6 with, got a six tuxedo wardrobe so don’t hesitate to ask me out for summer weddings. Friends call me outgoing but I don’t mind Netflix on my couch if you are comfortable doing me there”Now that’s humor and creativity blended into a nice morning smoothie to gulp down for chick’s on fleek. Creativity has always been sexy. Take an artist or a musician for an example… girls scream and sigh to be with one.

3. Laid Back Me

When I say ‘Be you’, take it seriously because there is absolutely no need to pretend about your laziness, if only I could add a LOL here I would. So what I mean to say is if you are laid back, PLEASE let it reflect in your bio. Girls aren’t much behind boys these days when it comes to craziness and some of them love petting guys. So if you are lazy and romantic so be that to the fullest. Take a look at this guy who totally nailed it when it came to reflecting his interests.“Love traveling, surfing, tech is my thing, long walks on the beach, spontaneous trips to Paris for freshly baked bread would be great for weekends, I am a guy to have espresso with, take your chances I might just get off the market soon”Aweee, as gayish as it may sound… this dude sounds unreal! But guys reading this please try to be romantic for F sake. It’s required sometimes. Girls would love a lazy weekend and awesome sunset walks along the beach and know it’s absolutely addicting when it comes to Paris and freshly baked bread.

4. Humor off Radar

Adding humor to tender bio is adding fuel to fire. You don’t agree? You will be surprised how easy it gets to have right swipes when you have a sprinkle of funny write up to showcase on tinder. It’s to build up that “want to know him more” thing in their forever working brains.

“I am an astronaut, appeared for the cover of GQ and later became a French spy. I am psychic and love time traveling, recently have been to 2025 and saw myself sailing across the Caribbean with a girl with red hair, shaken yet?Okay exaggerated a bit, but I did complete science as major and luckily can humor more than the regular once in my batch, gotta swipe right to know more about me”That was too cute to have been said he sounded futuristically unreal for a girl to fit her brains around, any which ways, do try out humor because girls love it. Humor is all that a smart girl looks for with some mix of right attitude and sexy along the side.

5. Short and Attractive

There is always space for you to be all sexy with the max effect. And that’s how few men do it with least minimum action words but with more depth.

“Dog lover, food is worshipHave been a drummer so love banging”

Cool bro, this guy is all set to get laid on his first date, mentioning about his musical skills and all. Not that I am jealous, just saying.

6. Lengthy yet Interesting

If you are planning to write a long list of details about you, make sure you sound interesting. No girl has time to really open up to a complete essay about you even before she knows you in person. Save them some time, and even if you do write, write some insanely sexy words to blow their mind off, then and there.

Best Hookup Bios For Tinder

“Precise EnglishAwesome cookRegular to gymFoodieDisney World returnOwner of three cars Love to ride Audi on Saturdays” Over 40 friends date. That is some really good stuff and it explains how writing lengthy can pay off in the end.

6 BEST TINDER BIO FOR GIRLS

I guess girls on tinder don’t really have to worry about getting right swipes because they already do. Yet I exactly know where their interest lies… girls face problems in getting the right swipe from the right person. But there isn’t a lot of hard work to get what you want on tinder.Best tinder bios for girls are the ones which are really witty and yet again straightforward. They always rank to gain the highest swipes on tinder. Check out our six best bios for girls after which you too can easily take some ideas and tweak around to build up your own flawless tinder bio.

1. The Perfect One

A perfect bio build up by a girl reflects how serious they are with tinder profile and that is actually a good thing for boys to handle. Girls, if you are a fan of building up a nice and perfect bio about yourself then please go ahead like this one

“I love dogs, and prefer men in shape because I find men out of shape to be overly sensitive somehow”

Tinder Dating Site Hook Up

It reflects what kind of men you like and a little glimpse of your liking as well. It really leaves something to the imagination of men, just don’t forget to add up a nice display picture.

2. The Realist

Realist girls would love bios like these and why not do something similar when it comes to building your own bio? I suggest you write something which really turns out to be an exact replica of your realist nature. It really does work. Guys love girls who are clear with their ideas and aren’t afraid to express that on tinder. Take a look at this bio for an instance“I like long walks on the beach, and i know why you are swiping along instead being surrounded by friends because somewhere your search is still on, know that i like to cuddle in baggy clothes while I watch Netflix happily all weekends, so don’t expect me to dress up and go out for a date night when am all cozy, and just so you know I am currently in an open relationship with 3 female roommates, text to let me know if that would be a problem with you?”

Wow, that’s just so inviting. I mean you read this and it’s like “let’s see if her roommates are out this weekend”.

3. The Cheesy One

This is my personal favorite because it’s amazing how guys react to a cheesy pickup line or bio. It’s like cheesy words just drills a deep impact on them and they are golden. Yet nothing can beat the kind of cheesy stuff girls write on tinder these days sure you can if you put in that effort but first check out these two which turns out to be gaining thousands on swipes overnight“I believe men have two emotions to the maximum, Hungry and Horny. If I don’t see with an erection I might get you your favorite sandwich”“Since I’m good with cooking I can make you some dessert but if you are hungry for oversweet dishes there is always me”It’s so cheesy that any guy would swipe right. Don’t just copy paste through built up your own because there is nothing like putting your own words into action and see the results.Related Article:=' color:=''>='color:>Best Flirting App for both iOS and Android=' color:=''>='color:>

4. The Pizza Lover

I personally categorize people into two different sects, one who likes pizza and the other one you know who. I know girls like 99.9% are in love with pizza and it’s utterly cute when that is reflected on your tinder bio. Get that extra sense of your pizza love into play and build up a tinder bio. Believe me, guys love girls when they talk about eating, I mean that intensity itself is mind-blowing to them. “Finally to have someone of the same taste, pizza lover if you are reading this grab your chance and rescue another pizza lover from these mundane”

“You might not know me yet but if pizzas are your thing only then bother texture”

My God, it’s hard to believe but trust me pizza lovers do take their obsession to next level. It’s almost like a religion to them. So girls if you have a certain obsession with food, please bring it up in your tinder bio because real is always attractive.

5. The Dark Side

Once you decide to type your tinder bio by explaining something about your dark side, don’t step back, guys love reading something different out of the ordinary and it’s so cool. To be honest, don’t start planning a murder in your bio or discuss about a long lost crime you did as a child. But be that girl if you are little nasty, that is like 10/10 for boys to swipe right for.

“Can you meet me in the dark alley beside barneys in 20 min? Lol”

“I love star wars, watching saw after midnight, a game of thrones is a religion for me and I breathe and eat Vikings, oh! Also, I can’t sleep before I repeat watching an episode of my favorite psychological thriller Hannibal. Text if you match my taste”

Wow, that’s like sex with words, I would love to know about this girl more and more and you just know what I mean.

6. The Captivating One

I know most of you would think this one is probably the best one of them all. I guess it has to be because being captivating is something that not all girls can carry. Truth must be told it’s really important to understand the mentality of a guy when he has been swiping more than hundred profiles daily.Making your profile captivating and getting them hooked to your don’t really take much effort yet it does require a little tweaking of words to get to frame that perfect sentence that can really blow their mind off the radar.

“I wonder why would you be on tinder if you’re already.Taken?”

That is exactly what you want your guys to know about you- Nothing. In that way, they will swipe right and your work starts there… to sort the best among the rest.

How Can Tinder Bios Reflect You As A Person??

I am literally writing an answer to this question because it has been asked on our website for like a zillion times. Tinder bio reflects a great deal of a persona and it’s not just about how witty, pretty, funny or awesome you can sound but what you really are as a person. I know it sounds bookish as few words can’t reflect a person’s nature but you really can make a difference. If you are looking for something to match your taste then know that the other person writing about themselves are looking for the exact same things as you are.You’ve been through the entire article and I know what is going round in your mind. You just want to switch to another tab or pick up your other device to get this thing into place. Knowing what a tinder bio should look like calls for an action.I hope this article helps you chalk out a great bio on tinder and get you that right swipe that you deserve. Also when you read your section make sure you read it carefully because putting some of those suggestions into your writing can really help you build a bio that you become an irresistibly interesting person one can’t wait to know about.

Best Tinder Hookup Profile Photos

Also Check: Bored of Tinder? Here’s=' color:=''>='color:>Best Tinder Alternatives=' color:=''>

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easyfoodnetwork · 4 years ago

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I’m Through Being Silent About the Restaurant Industry’s Racism

Alexandra Bowman

As a Black server and diner, I’ve seen how racism in the restaurant industry plays out on both sides of the table

This is Eater Voices, where chefs, restaurateurs, writers, and industry insiders share their perspectives about the food world, tackling a range of topics through the lens of personal experience. First-time writer? Don’t worry, we’ll pair you with an editor to make sure your piece hits the mark. If you want to write an Eater Voices essay, please send us a couple paragraphs explaining what you want to write about and why you are the person to write it to [email protected].

A few weeks ago, I watched my tattoo artist, Doreen Garner, post an Instagram video about the racism in her industry, and saw Brianna Noble get up on her horse and demand change in the equestrian world. They inspired me to go on Facebook to address the racism where I work: the restaurant industry.

As I wrote in my Facebook post, the restaurant industry is extremely racist: Its racism is inseparable from the history of dining out in this country. Restaurants here flourished after the Civil War, a period when Black people in the hospitality sector were still technically working for free due to the widespread adoption of tipping, which allowed employers to avoid paying their workers. Racism literally shaped the restaurant landscape, too: Here on Long Island, where I live, the racist practice of redlining prevented Black restaurateurs from obtaining business loans or leasing buildings in particular towns — and thus denied them the same opportunities as their white counterparts.

The effects of such discrimination have been everlasting — something that I have learned firsthand as both a Black server and diner. In the six years I worked in restaurants, I never saw BIPOC (Black, indigenous, and people of color) in management, or even a Black bartender; most people of color were forced to remain in the back of house, or as bussers and runners in the front of house. And as a diner, I’ve seen how the industry’s culture of discrimination plays out from the other side of the table, too.

I began working in restaurants in 2009, while attending grad school. The first place I served was a corporate Southern-themed steakhouse on Long Island; not long after I started there, a coworker was fired for using racial slurs about a Black family who was dining with us. The restaurant’s owner individually apologized to every Black employee, and the swiftness of his actions assured me that racism would not be tolerated. The following year, I began my career in fine dining at a popular seafood restaurant on Manhasset Bay. The staff was mostly BIPOC, and included several Black females. This restaurant had its issues, but during the two years I worked there, diversity was not one of them.

But when I returned to the industry in 2018, after a six-year hiatus, I discovered that my previous experiences were anomalies. One evening, while I was training as a server at a farm-to-table restaurant, I asked the trainer how she made recommendations. “Well, they’re Asian, so I recommended the octopus because Asians eat weird food,” she said of the table we’d just served. “Excuse me?” I replied sternly. She tried to backpedal, saying something about how “Italian guys�� also loved octopus.

Months later, I caught one of the managers and two servers discussing the treatment of Black people as it relates to our work ethic: The manager implied that there were times we were treated better than we deserved because of our skin color. The two servers looked shocked, but neither corrected her. Being the only Black employee and server of color, I quit immediately. But that evening, the restaurant’s owner and I had an honest conversation. She advised me to not let ignorant people affect my wallet, and she had a point: I was broke and living in my mom’s guest room. So I stayed. But, in hindsight, I should’ve demanded that this manager be fired. Although she was eventually let go, it was for her inferior management skills, not her continued racist antics.

Although the guests at that restaurant usually treated me with respect, I was degraded on several occasions. One evening, while I was recommending wine to a table, one of the diners, a white man, winked at me and said, “the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. Am I right?” There was so much I wanted to say, especially to his wife, who just laughed nervously. Instead, I recommended the tempranillo and walked away. Who could I tell? If a manager wouldn’t be checked, how would a guest?

I stayed at the restaurant for a year and a half. Shortly before my departure, one of my customers, a senior citizen, grabbed me. “You know what they say about Black women?” he whispered in my ear. “You taste like chocolate.” He then attempted to kiss me. I pulled away, but I didn’t want to hurt him — I could already imagine the headline: “Black Server Abused Elderly White Man at Long Island Restaurant.” So again, I walked away. But this time, I cried in the hallway while my coworker consoled me. Others seemed to think I was overreacting, as if the customer had complimented me. I didn’t have the energy to point out that Black women are neither a fetish nor a fantasy, and that the sexual harassment we often experience is linked to the ways we’ve been hypersexualized throughout history.

Most recently, until the pandemic began, I was working as a server and marketing consultant at a new Long Island steakhouse. Three of my coworkers were equal-opportunity racists who made derogatory comments about everybody: from the Latinx staff members to a table of Black people, no one was off limits. Almost everyone who worked there was aware of it, but the attitude was one of “You know how this industry is.” One time, when I defended some guests whom one of these coworkers presumed were Jewish, he asked if I was a “Black Jew.” In response, I referenced “First they came...” and expressed that I stand up for everyone, and then politely told him to shut the hell up. He did, but continued to be openly racist towards me — the restaurant’s lone Black employee — and the Latinx bartender.

When you’re the only Black employee at a business, you realize that you’re an exception to its discriminatory hiring practices.

While the restaurant’s clientele was generally kind, there were still the middle-aged white men thinking they were Tupac, telling me I was the prettiest Black girl they’d ever seen. And the white women who felt the need to be “down” when I approached the table. “Hey girl!” one of them told me. “Your makeup is on fleek. We’re trying to get lit.” Know that I am laughing at you, I thought. You sound like Len from 30 Rock. You are 45 years old in a Talbot’s pant suit. Please stop.

When you’re the only Black employee at a business, you realize that you’re an exception to its discriminatory hiring practices. It is debilitating to constantly defend yourself while remaining professional, and exhausting to become a representative for the entire community. One elevated pitch in your tone may verify a stereotype. And so for your own self-preservation, you learn to ignore it and not react. No matter the profession, we’re conditioned to be silent.

But as a patron, I do not have the same restraint. I always inform the manager. When I do, I’m sometimes offered a discount or a free round of drinks. I appreciate that, but still wonder: Did they hear me or were they just trying to appease me?

Because ignorant servers have tells. The finger across the neck, signaling that you do not want me in your section. The “couldn’t care less” attitude when greeting my table after making me wait for 10 minutes. The interactions with me in comparison to the white people next to me. We all have bad days as servers. But I am one of you, and I know the difference between a bad day and bad behavior. And so I’d ask you to recognize that your low tip is not a derivative of a guest’s skin color, but often, the result of your behavior toward them because of their skin color.

And to my fellow Black female servers, especially those in fine dining, remember you are worthy and your integrity is priceless. I am broke and tired too, but change is no longer a request — it is an ultimatum. Many servers are currently in a position of power; as restaurants try to reopen, employers are struggling to staff up. So before you literally risk your life by returning to work, make sure your professional environment is safe from health risks and racism.

To non-Black restaurant owners, I’d ask you to be introspective. Acknowledge that you benefit from a problematic system, and that your restaurant isn’t immune to racism. And if you still haven’t developed and posted a Black Lives Matter action plan of solidarity, do so. I am empathetic to the fact that you recently took a hit from COVID-19, but racism is also a deadly virus. You cannot plead for pandemic support by posting “We’re all in this together,” but choose to remain silent now. Diversify your staff. Schedule a mandatory team meeting to discuss racism and how to personally combat it — and explicitly state that it is immediate grounds for dismissal. If you have BIPOC staff, reassure them that they are protected and supported; keep in mind that you are legally liable when employees, and guests, engage in discriminatory practices. And remember: The Black dollar is strong. It is imperative that we are appreciated and welcomed at every place of business.

I gave similar recommendations to my most recent employer. As his marketing consultant, I urged him to write a statement of solidarity; as one of his servers, I demanded that my racist coworkers be fired, and a meeting be held to discuss racism at the restaurant. Yet again, my concerns were dismissed and overlooked. But this time, I am through being silent.

Lauren Allen is an experienced marketing specialist in the live entertainment and food hospitality sectors.

from Eater - All https://ift.tt/2ZLs4vY https://ift.tt/3eeV7NA

Alexandra Bowman

As a Black server and diner, I’ve seen how racism in the restaurant industry plays out on both sides of the table

When you’re the only Black employee at a business, you realize that you’re an exception to its discriminatory hiring practices.

Lauren Allen is an experienced marketing specialist in the live entertainment and food hospitality sectors.

from Eater - All https://ift.tt/2ZLs4vY via Blogger https://ift.tt/2ZcBvFu

#Blogger #cooking #Eater #food #recipes

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easyfoodnetwork · 4 years ago

Quote

Alexandra Bowman As a Black server and diner, I’ve seen how racism in the restaurant industry plays out on both sides of the table This is Eater Voices, where chefs, restaurateurs, writers, and industry insiders share their perspectives about the food world, tackling a range of topics through the lens of personal experience. First-time writer? Don’t worry, we’ll pair you with an editor to make sure your piece hits the mark. If you want to write an Eater Voices essay, please send us a couple paragraphs explaining what you want to write about and why you are the person to write it to [email protected]. A few weeks ago, I watched my tattoo artist, Doreen Garner, post an Instagram video about the racism in her industry, and saw Brianna Noble get up on her horse and demand change in the equestrian world. They inspired me to go on Facebook to address the racism where I work: the restaurant industry. As I wrote in my Facebook post, the restaurant industry is extremely racist: Its racism is inseparable from the history of dining out in this country. Restaurants here flourished after the Civil War, a period when Black people in the hospitality sector were still technically working for free due to the widespread adoption of tipping, which allowed employers to avoid paying their workers. Racism literally shaped the restaurant landscape, too: Here on Long Island, where I live, the racist practice of redlining prevented Black restaurateurs from obtaining business loans or leasing buildings in particular towns — and thus denied them the same opportunities as their white counterparts. The effects of such discrimination have been everlasting — something that I have learned firsthand as both a Black server and diner. In the six years I worked in restaurants, I never saw BIPOC (Black, indigenous, and people of color) in management, or even a Black bartender; most people of color were forced to remain in the back of house, or as bussers and runners in the front of house. And as a diner, I’ve seen how the industry’s culture of discrimination plays out from the other side of the table, too. I began working in restaurants in 2009, while attending grad school. The first place I served was a corporate Southern-themed steakhouse on Long Island; not long after I started there, a coworker was fired for using racial slurs about a Black family who was dining with us. The restaurant’s owner individually apologized to every Black employee, and the swiftness of his actions assured me that racism would not be tolerated. The following year, I began my career in fine dining at a popular seafood restaurant on Manhasset Bay. The staff was mostly BIPOC, and included several Black females. This restaurant had its issues, but during the two years I worked there, diversity was not one of them. But when I returned to the industry in 2018, after a six-year hiatus, I discovered that my previous experiences were anomalies. One evening, while I was training as a server at a farm-to-table restaurant, I asked the trainer how she made recommendations. “Well, they’re Asian, so I recommended the octopus because Asians eat weird food,” she said of the table we’d just served. “Excuse me?” I replied sternly. She tried to backpedal, saying something about how “Italian guys” also loved octopus. Months later, I caught one of the managers and two servers discussing the treatment of Black people as it relates to our work ethic: The manager implied that there were times we were treated better than we deserved because of our skin color. The two servers looked shocked, but neither corrected her. Being the only Black employee and server of color, I quit immediately. But that evening, the restaurant’s owner and I had an honest conversation. She advised me to not let ignorant people affect my wallet, and she had a point: I was broke and living in my mom’s guest room. So I stayed. But, in hindsight, I should’ve demanded that this manager be fired. Although she was eventually let go, it was for her inferior management skills, not her continued racist antics. Although the guests at that restaurant usually treated me with respect, I was degraded on several occasions. One evening, while I was recommending wine to a table, one of the diners, a white man, winked at me and said, “the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. Am I right?” There was so much I wanted to say, especially to his wife, who just laughed nervously. Instead, I recommended the tempranillo and walked away. Who could I tell? If a manager wouldn’t be checked, how would a guest? I stayed at the restaurant for a year and a half. Shortly before my departure, one of my customers, a senior citizen, grabbed me. “You know what they say about Black women?” he whispered in my ear. “You taste like chocolate.” He then attempted to kiss me. I pulled away, but I didn’t want to hurt him — I could already imagine the headline: “Black Server Abused Elderly White Man at Long Island Restaurant.” So again, I walked away. But this time, I cried in the hallway while my coworker consoled me. Others seemed to think I was overreacting, as if the customer had complimented me. I didn’t have the energy to point out that Black women are neither a fetish nor a fantasy, and that the sexual harassment we often experience is linked to the ways we’ve been hypersexualized throughout history. Most recently, until the pandemic began, I was working as a server and marketing consultant at a new Long Island steakhouse. Three of my coworkers were equal-opportunity racists who made derogatory comments about everybody: from the Latinx staff members to a table of Black people, no one was off limits. Almost everyone who worked there was aware of it, but the attitude was one of “You know how this industry is.” One time, when I defended some guests whom one of these coworkers presumed were Jewish, he asked if I was a “Black Jew.” In response, I referenced “First they came...” and expressed that I stand up for everyone, and then politely told him to shut the hell up. He did, but continued to be openly racist towards me — the restaurant’s lone Black employee — and the Latinx bartender. When you’re the only Black employee at a business, you realize that you’re an exception to its discriminatory hiring practices. While the restaurant’s clientele was generally kind, there were still the middle-aged white men thinking they were Tupac, telling me I was the prettiest Black girl they’d ever seen. And the white women who felt the need to be “down” when I approached the table. “Hey girl!” one of them told me. “Your makeup is on fleek. We’re trying to get lit.” Know that I am laughing at you, I thought. You sound like Len from 30 Rock. You are 45 years old in a Talbot’s pant suit. Please stop. When you’re the only Black employee at a business, you realize that you’re an exception to its discriminatory hiring practices. It is debilitating to constantly defend yourself while remaining professional, and exhausting to become a representative for the entire community. One elevated pitch in your tone may verify a stereotype. And so for your own self-preservation, you learn to ignore it and not react. No matter the profession, we’re conditioned to be silent. But as a patron, I do not have the same restraint. I always inform the manager. When I do, I’m sometimes offered a discount or a free round of drinks. I appreciate that, but still wonder: Did they hear me or were they just trying to appease me? Because ignorant servers have tells. The finger across the neck, signaling that you do not want me in your section. The “couldn’t care less” attitude when greeting my table after making me wait for 10 minutes. The interactions with me in comparison to the white people next to me. We all have bad days as servers. But I am one of you, and I know the difference between a bad day and bad behavior. And so I’d ask you to recognize that your low tip is not a derivative of a guest’s skin color, but often, the result of your behavior toward them because of their skin color. And to my fellow Black female servers, especially those in fine dining, remember you are worthy and your integrity is priceless. I am broke and tired too, but change is no longer a request — it is an ultimatum. Many servers are currently in a position of power; as restaurants try to reopen, employers are struggling to staff up. So before you literally risk your life by returning to work, make sure your professional environment is safe from health risks and racism. To non-Black restaurant owners, I’d ask you to be introspective. Acknowledge that you benefit from a problematic system, and that your restaurant isn’t immune to racism. And if you still haven’t developed and posted a Black Lives Matter action plan of solidarity, do so. I am empathetic to the fact that you recently took a hit from COVID-19, but racism is also a deadly virus. You cannot plead for pandemic support by posting “We’re all in this together,” but choose to remain silent now. Diversify your staff. Schedule a mandatory team meeting to discuss racism and how to personally combat it — and explicitly state that it is immediate grounds for dismissal. If you have BIPOC staff, reassure them that they are protected and supported; keep in mind that you are legally liable when employees, and guests, engage in discriminatory practices. And remember: The Black dollar is strong. It is imperative that we are appreciated and welcomed at every place of business. I gave similar recommendations to my most recent employer. As his marketing consultant, I urged him to write a statement of solidarity; as one of his servers, I demanded that my racist coworkers be fired, and a meeting be held to discuss racism at the restaurant. Yet again, my concerns were dismissed and overlooked. But this time, I am through being silent. Lauren Allen is an experienced marketing specialist in the live entertainment and food hospitality sectors. from Eater - All https://ift.tt/2ZLs4vY

http://easyfoodnetwork.blogspot.com/2020/07/im-through-being-silent-about.html

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