#marketable plushie dracula

[askvladdraculatepes]

To future dracula...

so dear lord Dracula

I HAVE YOU AS A PLUSHIE!!!

"I can't believe this, I... I've been turned into a marketable plushie! How could this have happened!? I demand to be restored to my old form this instant!"

[saintundying]

okay doxxing my room for @oldbutchdaniel

i...am too lazy to go through and see who has or hasnt done this so here: @appendectomy @fangsandthangs @saintllouis @black-market-wd4o if you want

[evilcokito]

COCCOOCOCCOCOCOCO HOW ARE YOU??? KEEPING HYDRATED??? LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF???

I SAW THIS LITTLE SIGN IN THE NEW YEAR BACKGROUND AND WHAT??? ITS ACTUALLY SO CUTE!!! THE LITTLE SKILL WITH A LITTLE HAT!!!! Sam make this into marketable merch please, I would buy the hell out of it-

IT CAN BE THOSE LITTLE PLUSHIE KEYCHAINS FOR BAGS!!! But I love love love how the hat dwarfs the skull. It’s so cute!!!

Also Urm ignore the person I have on my Home Screen yeah that’s nobody- don’t worry

*The earth cracks.Appears, relive from the hells, among the flames of what we call... the climate of my country*

CERU CERU CERU HOW ARE YOU???? I hope well, drink lots of water and take good care of yourself! also hope you had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. THE MESSAGE YOU TAG ME on New Year's! IT WAS A VERY FUN YEAR WITH YOU TOOO!!! THANK YOUUU sorry this is too late---

NNoOO i don't need to hydrate! All this holidays I was reading Dracula and my thoughts are on that magenta RED eyes... ok well some water at this moment it would be good thank you.

AAAH YYEESS, SAM STUDY MARKETING!!! Everything he makes... makes you want to buy it. It is a trap? oh well. That design has too much-high Faciler energy...

KEYCHAINS??? incredibly cool and cute, give me 500. It's part of Sam specialty to "force" to buy a product you don't necessarily need... OKKKKKK, probably we do need it now- but bargain, haggle for that thing. Don't let him win it's part of his plan.

THE PERSON IN CERU HOME SCREEN??! You have all my attention... HOW CAN I IGNORE IT NOW???!

Are you giving him kisses?

[endless-shelter]

You are not safe from marketable plushification.

* Taís and Abe not sold separately.

(ft mine and @plotek-the-first's fools)

[ashley-slashley]

horror would you rather 2

have nightmares in the same vein as david kessler, or have nightmares controlled by freddy krueger

die by falling down a flight of cement stairs (e.g. damien karras), or die by getting impaled by a metal pole (e.g. father brennan)

deal with david kessler while visiting england, or deal with brahms hillshire while visiting england

do jury duty in a trial where steve freeling is suing his job for building a neighborhood on a cemetery, or be in the audience of the dr. oz show where herbert west is presenting the re-agent

introduce damien karras to doom, or binge watch tales from the internet videos with ash williams

be in an episode of the monkees with patrick bateman, or watch head (1968) with the cenobites

take a painting class with carrie white, or play paintball with ellen ripley

play the sims with chop top sawyer, or play dress up games with baby firefly

babysit damien thorn, or babysit carol anne freeling

be roommates with seth brundle, or have a variety show (e.g. eric andre) with captain spaulding

go to disney world with crawford tillinghast, or go to universal studios with louis tully

reenact the music video of kate bush's wuthering heights with hannibal lecter, or go to a kate bush concert with david kessler and jack goodman

be neighbors with laurie strode, or be neighbors with damien karras

take regan macneil to build-a-bear, or go to legoland with patrick bateman

watch margaret white fight chris macneil, or watch robert thorn fight brock williams (ash williams' dad)

be adopted by the addams family, or be a distant relative of the munsters

cosplay as walter white and jesse eisenberg with stu macher, or do a group cosplay as walter white with ash williams and chet kaminski

hide in the airducts with xenomorph, or live in a treehouse with yautja

watch classic ytps with ash williams, or browse 4chan with chucky

go to an alice cooper concert with jason voorhees, or go to a led zeppelin concert with ash williams

fight dr. loomis, or fight mrs. baylock (nanny from the omen)

be friends with christopher lee dracula, or be friends with jack goodman

be stuck in a room with norman bates, or be stuck in a room with kurt kunkle (dude from spree)

wake up in racoon city (resident evil for a self note), or wake up in silent hill

have hannibal lecter be your psychiatrist, or have damien karras be your psychiatrist

be haunted by jack goodman, or be stuck on an island with herbert west

throw dog biscuits at david kessler, or watch freddy krueger fight vince mcmahon

turn seth brundle into a marketable plushie, or turn dr. pretorius (from beyond (1986)) into a funko pop

be stuck at the bus stop in rock bottom with ash williams, or send billy lenz to brazil

go to the zoo on the same day as damien thorn and his mother, or break into a whale tank with beetlejuice

fuck around at a power plant with nosferatu, or violate osha regulations with harry warden

go to the slaughtered lamb (aawil), or go to the double r diner (twin peaks)

watch a tales from the internet video about stu macher, or watch an absolute mad lads video about david kessler

go on a date with jack goodman, or set up egon spengler with janine melnitz

be on whose line is it anyway with david powers and the lost boys, or watch captain spaulding's museum be featured in an episode of american pickers

watch the chris chan documentary with crawford tillinghast, watch any of wendigoon's iceberg videos with herbert west

take ballroom dancing classes with ash williams, or have chop top sawyer be your freestyle dance teacher

fight andrew tate with jennifer check, or fight dr. oz with herbert west

watch frank cotton be a guest on the dick cavett show, or watch margaret white be a guest on the view

celebrate the holidays with david kessler and jack goodman, or celebrate the holidays with billy loomis and stu macher

attend a seminar where fake doctors (e.g. dr. phil, dr. oz) are speaking with dr. loomis, or protest the seminar with herbert west and frederick frankenstein (young frankenstein)

go on a date with david kessler, or sleep with jack goodman

go to spencer's with dr. frank-n-furter, or go to hot topic with shorty the klown

take all the halloween candy from "TAKE ONE" bowls on candy on halloween with michael myers, or leave just one piece of candy from a bowl on someone's porch with freddy krueger

diy your halloween costumes with carrie white, or buy a shit quality costume from spirit halloween with stu macher

[thenightling]

Optimism for the horror genre

The early 2000s brought about what I felt was a dark ages of horror films.  Sure, we had the occasional gem like Let the Right One In, The Woman in Black, and Trick ‘r Treat  and the occasional TV show like Penny Dreadful, and the Frankenstein mini-series starring Luke Goss (from Hellboy 2) but for the most part it was a dry wasteland of remakes and “reboots” and torture porn.  

The new Halloween 2018 film is a blessing.  Much like the 2017 Stephen King’s it film I feel that these films have had a positive influence on the horror genre.

First Stephen King’s It did something unprecedented with a remake.  It had the confidence and integrity to stand alongside the 1990 TV mini-series version starring Tim Curry and it didn’t belittle or mock the original.  It never once claimed to be the superior version.  Instead it strived for co-existence and this was virtually unheard of with remakes until now.   For over ten-years remakes went out of their way to bash the original version of things, call them problematic or out-dated, and try to present the new version as a superior entity.   There were even cases of production companies removing products tied to the original versions to try to sell merchandise specific to the remake. The excuse given for this was to “prevent Market confusion.”   This was most infamously attempted with Star Trek toys and figures.

But with Stephen King’s It you saw NECA release figures and even plushies of both versions of Pennywise of equal detail and quality.  For the first time ever a remake unashamedly showed appreciation for the original iteration without turning it into a pissing contest.  I feel this was the start of the change, the positive change in the horror genre.

 A few months later the “Supernatural romance” The Shape of Water was released and this would win four major Oscars.   Though not marketed as horror The Shape of Water was a thinly disguised remake of Revenge of The Creature (sequel to The Creature from The Black Lagoon) but with the twist that his love was returned and he was truly a river God all along. The Shape of Water with Silence if the Lambs became only the second horror film to win the Best Picture Oscar though both movies seemed ashamed of being classified as horror as The Shape of Water was marketed as Supernatural (or Scifi) Romance while Silence of the Lambs was labeled Suspense Thriller. 

I could easily argue that there’s more horror in The Shape of Water than half the films actually released as horror in the least year.  It had a supernatural creature.  It had atmosphere.  It had murder.  It had mutilation.  It had suspense.  It even had a scene of a man ripping off his own rotting fingers.  It’s horror. It’s romantic horror but it’s horror.

The assumption that horror means low-brow or low-quality has tainted a lot of film and literature.  I even, relatively recently, saw the works of Edgar Allan Poe, H. P. Lovecraft, and a collection of Ghost Stories for sale at Barnes and Noble with “Gothic fantasy” as a banner across the covers.   No.  These are horror.  We need to accept that there are different types of horror and sometimes other genres can fit under the Horror umbrella.  Horror should not be a genre regarded with shame.  I knew someone who even insisted Dracula was “action adventure” simply because they, themselves, didn’t consider Dracula scary.   But I digress...

Despite the fear of being labeled horror, it is a horror film that won Best Picture last year.

Another positive step in the world of horror came with the Netflix TV show Stranger Things.  Stranger things was the first series I had seen (in a long while) set in the relatively recent past that wasn’t a parody of the era.  Ever since the “hilarious” 1990s Brady Bunch movies people in Hollywood tended to look at the past and things set in that recent past as only fodder to be made fun of.  This is how we ended up with the spoofish 2012 Dark Shadows.   But Stranger Things broke this annoyingly long trend.  Stranger Things was (and is) a loving and respectful and loving homage to 1980s science fiction and horror.  

Even vampires are starting to improve.  The Twilight trend created an obnoxious polarization of either broody and whiny teen vampires or near mindless predators.  Vampires were even denied the power to transform into animals or summon storms.   It was only after the Twilight fad began to die that I got to see vampires that were both predatory and also sympathetic.  The best example of this being the version of Count Dracula as seen in Netflix’s Castlevania.  And now Steven Moffat wants to attempt his own version of Dracula.  

And now we come to the Halloween 2018 film.   This film ignores the reboots and only acknowledges the first Halloween movie.   And it seems to be doing well.  Now there is talk of Robert Englund returning to the role of Freddy Krueger (Even though he said he was done with the role), and Tom Holland (Director of the original Fright Night, not the Spider-man actor) has officially licensed a new Peter Vincent comic book set in the original Fright Night continuity and ignoring the remake and remake’s sequel.  Even Elvira has made a return with two new comic book series (the next one starts in January).

And even though Child’s Play is getting a remake that looks like a shameless cash grab trying to rip off Stranger Things, there is also going to be a Child’s Play TV series continuing the original franchise’s continuity.   

Torture Porn and Found Footage have finally fizzled out.  The cynical deconstruction like what you saw in Tom Cruise’s The Mummy has passed.   Remakes and reboots are being replaced with franchise restorations.   Vampires are both terrifying yet sympathetic again ala Castlevania’s Dracula.  And they’re no longer being perpetually compared to Edward Cullen.   (Honestly I was sick of the phrase “At least he doesn’t sparkle.”)   Castlevania’s Dracula is tragic and human yet also fierce and terrifying all at once.  His humanness actually only increases the viciousness of his quest for revenge.  It’s really well done.  

This is a great time to be a horror fan and not just because it’s the Halloween season.   The dark flower of the Gothic horror genre has bloomed once more after years of trampling by those who just didn’t understand or appreciate it.