#mark buxton

[moratoirenoir]

[odoroussavourssweet]

Comme des Garcons White

Comme does Garçons White

Nose: Mark Buxton

notes: cloves, cardamom, nutmeg, cinnamon, pomegranate, rose, coriander, marigold, cedar, Lily of the valley, styrax, vanilla, amber, vetiver

This is one of the classic 90’s CdG scents in the transparent spicy-woody style Mark Buxton pioneered.

Where CdG Original was pure spice and CdG 2 was a silvery rose, CdG White is a cross between them: a spicy rose.

it almost seems to find the single facet of intersection between the tenderness of rosewater and the poignancy of cloves. a pane of red stained glass.

there’s also a bit of a “soapy floral” sheer aura around the edges

beautiful, seamless, and easy to wear by anyone anywhere.

[regulushair]

Little bits of different brands:

106 damascena rose, davana, vanilla by Bon Parfumeur - was looking for an affordable rose and at first was a little disappointed because at the start it's just kind of generically sweet, but hen does get pleasantly rosy - still remains very sweet though. Might return to it.

402 vanilla, toffee, sandalwood by Bon Parfumeur - very basic sweetness, surprisingly not syrupy or too much, but I wouldn't say it's anything special.

902 armagnac, blond tobacco, cinnamon by Bon Parfumeur - I mostly feel here cognac and fruits and spices that are supposed to help emulate the smell of actually good alcohol. Tobacco is somewhere in the background and I'm not sure if it's ever lit - mostly just dried leaves. Very pleasant especially for its price, will return to it.

Black Angel by Mark Buxton - very very refreshing (especially at the start) spicy citruses. The specific (quite unusual) combination of spices makes it quite interesting. Doesn't last too long though, the base is quite light and nice. Might return to it as well.

Sleeping with Ghosts by Mark Buxton - didn't quite get this one... It's pretty light and I don't really feel leather, but I also can't call it generically fruity and/or flowery - it's odd but too faint to actually distinguish any notes. Still no idea what quince is supposed to smell like...

Le Male by Jean Paul Gaultier - tried this one more out of curiosity than actually thinking it'd be good, but was surprised. I almost don't feel any sweetness here, even though there's an abundance of sweet notes and vanilla is the top voted of them. I feel it as aromatic and even a little salty (sandalwood?) - maybe there's some sweetness to balance it out and not make it too bitter or spicy, but it's generally pretty pleasant. As much as male designer fragrances are usually hated - this definitely doesn't deserve hate. (Who am I to talk though, I like classical Boss.)

Freedomland by Mandarina Duck - I've tried this one forever ago and I didn't like it at all, but I've something good about it recently and decided to give it a second chance and I didn't regret it - it's like a good tropical fruits bubble gum - not regular one but like the Dirol with ice crystals - something that blows up in your mouth with a hundred of tiny refreshing explosions. Simple and very pleasant, total summer vibes.

Resort Lovers by Mandarina Duck - this one is also decent but I prefer different take on "smells of cleanliness" - it does give a bit of laundry detergent - but not enough to be The Muse, and a bit of floral cleanliness but not enough to be Pure Musc or Idylle. Okay, but not my thing.

Love Chopard by Chopard - returned to these roses and I'm telling you - they almost immediately went on the wishlist. It opens up with fresh and somewhat sour roses and then it gradually gets sweeter - almost to the point of rose jam (just how I like it). Very decent longevity (very much on the hair the next day), nice sillage and a very good spice for smaller bottles.

[skitskatdacat63]

DROP THE FOOTAGE, WILL!!!

"We saw Mark Webber this morning, who's his manager, and I haven't seen Mark bouncing through the podium-"

"Sprinting about!"

"Since he was winning grand prix for Red Bull Racing! We haven't seen him this happy in like, in like, a decade!"

[bebemoon]

look for the name: VINCENZA

vivienne westwood black leather corseted jacket and mini skirt suit, a/w 1997

tom ford for gucci buckle strap backless knit crop top in black, s/s 1998

gucci ebony beaded rosary necklace, a/w 2oo2

mark buxton perfumes "devil in disguise" eau de parfum

versace over-the-knee black leather high heel boots

[atimburtonfan]

[moviemosaics]

Stardust

directed by Matthew Vaughn, 2007

[starkwlkr]

begging on my knees for dilf jenson pls 😭 maybe his kids sneaking up on him when he’s on media duty and them trying to take his job lmaooo love your writings so much!

i didn’t do it | jenson button

dilf jenson dilf jenson dilf jenson also thanks for the request!!! yes ik jenson wasn’t in bahrain let’s ignore that 😍

The 2024 season had started and Jenson already had his hands full with two kids that had a little too much sugar. You had fallen sick so you couldn’t join your family to the season opener. Jenson thought it would be best to take both kids with him to let you rest and get better. Of course you trusted your husband to be alone with the kids, but he had a job to do and you didn’t want the kids to be alone while Jenson was working. Jenson assured you he would keep them close by and he meant it.

When you turned on the television to watch your husband, you didn’t think that your kids would also be making their television debut. You smiled as you saw your twin kids sneakily walking towards their dad, who was listening to Will Buxton talk.

Your son, Jack, gently placed a sticker on Jenson’s back. After placing more, Jack gave the sticker sheet to his sister, Ophelia, so she could do the same. It quickly turned into a ‘how many stickers can you stick on your dad’s jacket without him noticing?’ game and so far it was twenty.

“I think we have some guests here.” Will laughed as Jack and Ophelia placed the last sticker on Jenson’s back.

Jenson turned around and saw his kids laughing at him. “What are my babies doing?”

“Nothing!” Jack innocently said while laughing. He then whispered to his sister. “Don’t tell dad.”

But Jenson heard and got curious. “Tell dad what?”

“I didn’t do it! Ophelia did!”

“Jack!” Ophelia giggled and couldn’t resist spoiling their plan. “Look at your back! You have Olaf and Elsa and puppies!”

Jenson turned to his colleagues and saw them laughing. “Do I have something on my back?” He acted clueless.

“A few things, yeah.”

Jenson could care less. It was his kids’ artwork and he was going to wear it proudly even if it was a bunch of stickers on his jacket. So for the rest of the interviews, he kept the stickers.

Eventually, Mark Webber joined the crew and talked about their race predictions for the season. Jack grabbed his dad’s microphone and held it up to Mark even though he had his microphone.

“Oh thank you, Jack, you’re very kind.” Mark lowered his microphone so he could speak into Jack’s. “I actually have a question for the Button twins. Who do you think is going to win todays race?”

Jack lowered the microphone so he could speak in it. “I think Max is going to win because he goes very fast.”

Then Ophelia grabbed the microphone from Jack. “No, it’s Lewis.”

“Looks like we created another rivalry.” Mark joked.

“Dad? What about you?” Ophelia raised the microphone to her dad.

“I think it’s important that everyone has fun and no matter what, I hope everyone has a safe race.” Jenson explained to his kids.

“So Red Bull?” The kids wondered.

[race-week]

F1 Sources

I’ve been asked a few times about what F1 sources I deem as being reliable and here’s a mostly conclusive list

Some of these are particularly reliable for news about certain teams/drivers, and some are all rounders

Magazines/Media Outlets

- AMuS (Auto Motor und Sport), German Motorsport publication, personally my holy grail. Very good for reports on technical stuff.

- Canal+, reliable particularly for Alpine related stuff

- Sky Sports UK, typically don’t comment on rumours until they’re essentially confirmed but sometimes say the wildest shit with no real bearing

- Sky Italia, reliable about Ferrari

- Autosport

- Motorsport.com

People

- Chris Medland, honestly my favourite journalist, he won’t report on anything until it’s verified. Very handy during race weekends

- Giuliano Duchessa, great technical information and also really good for Ferrari news

- Tobi Grüner, AMuS journalist. Does tech stuff but also paddock news

- Albert Fabrega, credible Spanish journalist. Good technical source, especially for upgrades

- Craig Scarborough, excellent technical source

- Andrew Benson, BBC journalist pretty decent information

- Jolyon Palmer, very good technical information (but be aware he is employed by FOM so some things that he says may be influenced by that)

- Erik van Haren, this one is so-so in my opinion. Usually has very accurate news about Red Bull/Verstappen but also has occasionally been used in the past as a mouthpiece of sorts

Less reliable sources (imo)

- ESPN, a bit of a FOM mouthpiece (compared to other sources)

- Lawrence Barretto, FOM employee typically says/writes what they want

- Will Buxton, FOM employee typically says/writes what they want

- Joe Saward, used to be somewhat reliable but recently talks a lot of nonsense

- The Race, sometimes can have good information (particularly things written by Mark Hughes) but a lot is clickbait nonsense

[raatart]

a complete boycott list in alphabetical order

a complete list of companies / brands / franchises to boycott in support of palestine that i have been working on putting together for a while now.

remember to support your local businesses

stand with palestine against genocide

(Food & Beverages)

A

Activia

Acqua Panna

Akmina

Absolute Vodka

Algida

A&W

Aquafina

Alpro

Actimel

B

Burger King

Baskin Robbins

Ben & Jerry's

Bugles

Betty Crocker

Badoit

Becel

C

Coca Cola

Costa Coffee

Cadbury

Cheerios

Cheetos

Campbells

Calve

Cappy

Chiquita

D

Dominos

Dasani

Dunkin' Donuts

Doritos

Dr Pepper

Danone

Dolcela

Damla

Dogadan

E

Evian

Eden

F

Fanta

Frito-lay

Fruit by the Foot Roll Ups

Falim

Fresca

G

Gatorade

Greggs

H

Hardees

Haagen Dazs

Heinz Ketchup

Hershey's

Hard Rock Cafe

Heinz

I

Innocent

Israeli Fruits & Vegetables

J

Jacob's

Jaffa

K

KitKat

KFC

Kbueno

Kraft Mac & Cheese

Kellogg's

Kraft

L

Lipton

Lays

M

McDonald's

Mars

Marks & Spencers

Maggi

Marila

Monster

Mountain Dew

Mehadrin

Minute Maid

Milk Bar

M&M's

Magnum Ice Cream

Milka Chocolates

N

Nestle

Nestle Cereals

Nescafe

Nesquik

Nespresso

Nido

Nutella

Nature Valley

Nestle Milo

Nestle Carnation

Nestle Coffee Mate

Nestle Nestum

Nimbooz

Nestea

O

Orea

Original Shredded Wheat

P

Papa John's

Pepsi

Pringles

Pizza Hut

Perrier

Pillsbury

Popeyes

Pretty a Manager

Pure Life

Powerade

Popup Bagels

Q

Quality Street

Quaker

R

Redbull

Ruffles

S

Starbucks

Subway

Smartwater

Sweetgreen

Snickers

Sprite

Sabra

Sunkist

Strauss

Smarties

S.pellegrino

Schweppes

Sana

Sirma

Sara Lee

T

Toblerone

Tang

Twix

Tesco

Tropicana

U

V

Vittle

Volvic

W

Wall's

Walmart

Walkers

Wrigley's

X

Y

Z

7Up

(Clothing)

A

America Eagle

Adidas

Alo

Adina Eden Jewelry

B

C

Converse

Calvin Klein

Cat

Castro

D

Drew

Diesel

E

F

G

Good American

GAP

H

H&M

I

J

K

Kamili

L

Levi's

Lumberjack

M

Mango

N

Nike

O

Oasis

P

Puma

Q

R

River Island

S

Skims

Skinny Dip

St. Mark

Style Nadia

T

Timberland

U

V

Victoria's Secret

Vakko

W

We Wore That

Wyeth

X

Y

Z

Zara

(Beauty)

A

Aveda

Amika

Avon

Aussie

Aveeno

Always

Aesop

Ahava

B

Bobbi Brown

Blistex

Bath & Body Works

Britney Spears Fragrance

Becca

Biotherm

Beauty Blender

C

Clinique

Covergirl

Colgate

Calgon

Camay

CeraVe

Christina Aguilera Perfumes

Clean & Clear

Crest

CND

Cacharel

D

Dr. Jart+

Dove

Dettol

Darphin Paris

Dark & Lovely

E

Essie

Elidor

F

Fenty Beauty

Fair & Lovely

G

Garnier

Gillette

Glam Glow

H

Honest Beauty

Haci Sakir

Herbal Essences

Head & Shoulders

Hugo Boss

I

J

Jo Malone

Johnson & Johnsom

K

Kerastase

Kiehl's

Kylie Cosmetics

Kylie Skin

Kotex

L

L'Oreal

Lacome

La Roche-Posey

Lifebuoy

Lux

Lubiderm

M

Maybelline

MAC

Moroccan Oil

Maui

Matrix

Max Factor

N

Nyx

Neutrogena

Nivea

Nature's Beauty

Niely

O

Olay

Origins

Orkid

Oral-B

Oax

P

Pepsodent

Pantene

Q

R

Revlon

Rimmel

Rexona

Rhode

S

Summer Fridays

Schick

Smashbox

Sephora

Sensodyne

Skinceuticals

Skin Better Science

T

The Body Shop

Too Faced Cosmetics

The Ordinary

Tom Ford Beauty

Tampax

Takami

U

Urban Decay

Ulta Beauty

V

Vichy

Vaseline

Veet

W

X

Y

Yes to

Yuesai

Z

(Luxury)

A

B

C

Chanel

D

E

Estee Lauder

F

G

Georgio Armani

H

I

J

K

L

LVMH

Louis Vuitton

La Mer

Lavs

Le Labo

M

Mugler

Maison Margiela

N

O

P

Prada

Q

R

Raplh Lauren

S

T

Tiffany & Co.

Tom Ford

Tommy Hilfiger

U

V

Valentino

W

X

Y

Yves Saint Laurent

Z

(Tech & Entertainment)

A

Aol

Amazon

AirBnB

Apple

B

BBC

Buxton

Barbie

Booking.com

C

CNN

D

Disney+

Dell

E

Energizer

F

Ford

Fiverr

G

Galaxy

H

HP

Hyundai

Hulu

I

IBM

Intel

J

K

L

Lego

M

Motorola

Movenpick

Mattel

Microsoft

N

National Geographic

Nokia

Netflix

O

Oracle

Oxi

P

Philips

Q

R

Rolls Royce

S

Siemens

Sodastream

T

Toys R Us

U

V

Volvo

Valvoline

W

Wix

X

Y

Z

(Other)

A

Axa

Ariel

Aero

Ambi Pur

Airwick

Aroma

AVC

Amway

Ace Hardware

Andrex

American Express

B

Bounty

Black & Decker

Bonux

Bref

Braun

Benadryl

Band-aid

Barclays

Blue Cross Blue Shield

Better Help

C

Caltex

Chevron

Culligan

Citi Bank

Chicco

Cravola

Clearblue

Capital One

D

Dash

Drynites

Dosmestos

Doona

E

Expedia

F

Finish

Febreeze

Fixodent

Fairy

G

Goop

Gerber

Gys

H

HSBC

Huggies

Hayat

I

Imodium

J

JCB

K

Kimberly-Clark

Kleenex

L

Lion

Little Swimmers

Lenor

M

Mr Muscle

Minidou

Monsanto

N

Nicorette

O

Omo

P

Pampers

Purina Felix

Payoneer

Palmolive

Protex

Pull-ups

P&G

Prima

Pril

Paramount Pictures

Q

R

Rejoice

Rinso

Rogaine

S

Signal

Sensus

Sudafed

T

Tide

U

Unilever

Us Cellular

V

Vim

Vanish

Vicks

W

X

Y

Yumus

Z

(Places)

A

B

C

D

Disney

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

(People)

A

Ashley Tisdale

Amy Schumer

Andy Beshear

B

Bono

Ben Savage

Bella Thorne

Beyonce

C

Chris Evans

Claire Holt

Ciara

Chris Rock

Chris Pine

D

Demi Lovato

Dwayne Johnson

DJ Khaled

E

Eva Longoria

F

G

Gal Gadot

H

I

Ian Somerhalder

J

Jamie Lee Curtis

James Maslow

Justin Bieber

Jennifer Aniston

Jaclyn Hill

Jack Harlow

Jordan Peele

Joseph Quinn

Jack Black

K

Kylie Jenner

Kim Kardashian

Kris Jenner

Kerry Washington

Katie Perry

Karlie Kloss

Khloe Kardashian

Kat Graham

Kendall Jenner

Kourtney Kardashian

L

Lebron James

Lana Condor

Lana Del Rey

M

Millie Bobby Brown

Malala

Mindy Kaling

Mark Hamill

Madonna

N

NFL

Nina Dobrev

Natalie Portman

Nabela

Nicole Richie

Noah Schnapp

O

Octovia Spencer

P

Perez Hilton

Paul Wesley

Phoebe Tonkin

Pia Mia

P!nk

Q

R

Ronaldinho

Rihanna

S

Sofia Richie

Shaquir O'neal

Selena Gomez

T

Tara Strong

Taika Waititi

Taylor Swift

Tyler Perry

U

Usher

U2

V

Vanessa Hudgens

Viola Davis

W

X

Y

Z

[miloformula123fan]

I was wondering if you could possibly do Mark Webber as a girl dad I just finished reading Oscar as a dad and it got me thinking about Mark as a dad

i am so sorry for dropping off the face of the earth - rediscovered how much homework i had to do and cricket carnivals, but do not worry - regular updates are resuming now :)

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better

alright here we go

mark webber as a girl dad

---

Okay Mark webber as a girl dad

Let’s just say he would be amazing when you’re pregnant

Absolute angel

He would just tell Oscar to not do anything stupid and spend the entire time with you

When he finds out your pregnant with a girl he is so excited

Like when the pink cake was revealed, you looked at him and thought he was pissed

And then he burst into tears and you’re really worried

He reassures you that they are happy tears and then the party really begins

Already looking at karts for her

He would make an amazing nursery for her

He would barely let you do anything without him

To protect his girls

The second she can crawl, he makes her pick her favourite colour

And then repaints her whole room that colour

Oscar is godfather

It would’ve been seb, but multi 21 (i’m aussie and wasn’t even following f1 at the time and im pissed about it)

She makes her paddock debut at like 6 months

Besties with Will Buxton’s kid (i think her name is Isla, and she is adorable)

Someone says something sexist asking where her mother is and Mark just loses it

Spends the next 10 minutes criticising them

She is in a kart asap

She’ll make it to f1, no doubt

She’ll be better than her dad because she will actually get a championship

Maybe with red bull just to annoy her dad

She plays other sport too

Netball and some cricket

She stops netball when her friend tears her acl

But is always playing grade cricket during f1 off season

[moratoirenoir]

[odoroussavourssweet]

Comme des Garcons Ouarzazate

Comme des Garcons Ouarzazate

Nose: Mark Buxton

notes: incense, green tea, black pepper, guaiac, sage, nutmeg, labdanum, anise, red berries, cashmere, jasmine, musk, vanilla

Ouarzazate is a dry, ISO E Super-heavy modern smoky incense. This is a crowded genre today and it’s easy to blow off as boring —but back in 2002 Mark Buxton was pioneering this austere minimalist style, so I should probably give it more credit.

it’s very peppery — almost all black pepper for a period in the opening — with a smoky synthetic backdrop, and occasional hints of something bright and lemony.

The whole thing is sheer and lightweight, and honestly interchangeable with a lot of other dry incenses, but it’s not a bad example, if not really my thing.

[tavolgisvist]

Temporary Secretary (September 1980)

Not a lot of people today know or remember who Alfred Marks was, but there used to be agencies around London called Alfred Marks Bureaus – not to be confused with Alfred Marks the old-time comedian, of course. The bureaus would be advertised in newspapers and various directories. And I thought, ‘Well, I’ll just address it to Mr Marks.’ People often say, ‘Oh, you work so hard,’ and I say, ‘We don’t work; we play.’ I try to keep that in the front of my brain when things are getting tiresome. ‘Jesus, we’ve worked too hard. No, we’ve played too hard.’ The idea of needing a secretary, but only a temporary one, just made me smile. … A good thing with this song, though, is that there’s nothing overtly sexual; it’s just very tongue-in-cheek. Any inference that the protagonist is keeping the secretary late at night to do other things would be in the mind of the listener.

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics: 1956 to the Present, 2021)

I did have temporary secretaries. After I left Apple I still had business stuff coming up, so in trying to figure out how I could cope with that there were a couple of times I just grabbed someone to just put my letters in order and help. But that track isn’t about a specific person. What it’s about is, there was a guy called Alfred Marks, he had the Alfred Marks Bureau – he had the same name as a comedian on the radio when I was growing up. So it was just the funny paradox of seeing adverts for the Alfred Marks Bureau, the idea of some comedian having a bureau was just funny. It said ‘Temporary Secretary’, and I thought, that’s a kind of funky thought. Then there was the secretary thing: take a letter Miss Smith, sit on my lap… all that kind of stuff.

(Paul McCartney, The Quietus, 2011)

It was Alfred Marks Secretarial Bureau. And he was a comedian. When I was growing up, he was a famous comedian. But he sort of gave it up and got into this business. It was always a fun thing. When I thought of Alfred Marks Bureau, it was a bit like having the Ken Dodd Office Bureau, you know, just like, mildly amusing.

(Paul McCartney, interview with Adam Buxton, 2020)

RM: Do you use a computer? PM: Pencil and paper. I’m not a typist. Funnily enough, John became a red-hot typist towards the end of his life. He had always had this “Arts Correspondent in Kowloon” kind of dream. But for me it’s pencil and paper by the bed . . . those moments between falling asleep and just before waking are good. I’ve got this little book that Stelly [his daughter, Stella] gave me and it’s full of scribbles and drawings.

(Paul McCartney, interview with Roger McGough, March 10th, 2001)

JOHN: He makes a lot up, like a novelist, you know. SHEFF: Uh— JOHN: You hear lots of McCartney-influenced songs going on, now on the radio. These stories about boring people doing – being postmen, and secretaries, and writing old – I – you know. I’m not interested in writing third[-person], but I like to write about me. ‘Cause I know about me. I don’t know anything about secretaries, and postmen, and – [laughs] whatever.

(John Lennon, August, 1980, interview with David Sheff)

And, of course, the b-side of Temporary Secretary was Secret Friend:

Here we are Where are we Cast adrift on some uncharted sea I know we'll find our way I know we'll reach the end If you will say you'll be my secret friend I need ya

For our joy The Beatles and Ken Dodd (the one Paul was thinking about while writing Temporary Secretary)

[leclsrc]

Broooo your last Drabble was so good

If you don’t mind can I request a part 2 🥲

fin de siècle – cl16

genre: drabble, angst

auds here... a part 2 to this as multiple requests came through for it! listened to a lot of mid-air by paul buchanan for this one. hope u enjoy! :)

“Sorry. It’s bad luck for you to see the bride on her wedding day.”

Charles nods once, lips pursed in poorly hidden disappointment, flexing his fingers in the pockets of his slacks. The huge door to your room closes with a click that’s as soft as it is damning, leaving him alone in the hallway of this obsolete Sicilian property you’re getting married in later tonight. Outside, the Ionian sea crashes softly against the cliffs near the gardens, sun unrelenting and humid on the staff setting up outside. 

Maybe your friend doesn’t know this, but she should: Charles has always been afflicted with bad luck.

If being stuck with a slow car and slippery roads during vital races isn’t proof enough, Charles has much more to share. A stubbed toe occurs thrice a week, a hit head twice. He’s half-sure he should sue the universe for damages. He constantly runs into black cats, has looked up to find he’s underneath a ladder multiple times, and accidentally opened five umbrellas indoors. Call him superstitious, but to him, that’s quintessential bad luck.

His dress shoes click against the tile. He gazes down at them, remembers he needs to change them out for the ceremony later. He’s busy comparing the black of his shoes to the color of the tile, the contrast between light and dark. He hears slurried, anxious Italian and looks up. He’s under a ladder.

“Che sfortuna,” the staffer says apologetically, fixing the lights. Charles waves him off. He’s used to this.

Often, though, he remembers that being so riddled with bad luck means his moments of fortune are rare. Precious, like the gemstone on your finger. They’re individual, plucked out like shrines, orbs of love and overflowing happiness. Wins, successes, health. He pauses in front of the lobby, where there’s an assortment of hors d’oeuvres tables and signs pointing to the massive library where the main event will be held.

The main event for Charles has always been you. And he’s positive he was at his luckiest when you met.

You’d met at a race in Monza, back when Charles was just getting started in Formula 1. You’d never touched a mic, or conversed with a driver; both of you were getting used to growing up. Your clumsy French matched his clumsy English until you were both barely clumsy, sliding in and out of the two languages with natural skill.

Charles said he loved you just six months later. Distressed and a bit psyched out, it’d taken you a month to ease back into it and admit you loved him, too.

A year marked moving into Monaco, and infiltrating each others’ friend groups. You’d play poker with Max and Pierre, and Charles would play trivia nights with your friends, despite not understanding some of the references. (He confidently answered Lionel Messi when prompted: who discovered Facebook. He refuses to elaborate, to this day.)

There may have been fights and squabbles, but Charles always circled back to loving you. He stares now at the library from afar, still being tidied and rearranged. He debates entering, but figures he’ll surprise himself. He’s never doubted your insane organizational planning skills, and is sure this event is no exception.

He turns to explore the gardens and bumps into Will Buxton, of all people. “Charles?” Sharl, it sounds like, in the guy’s signature English cadence. 

Will continues. “What’re you doing here? And roaming around? You should be”—he pushes him toward the rooms area—“resting. Nobody’s allowed around here, let alone you.”

“Needed to talk to her,” Charles explains, his voice low and rough with unuse.

The elder laughs. He’s holding a big pile of organza, no doubt a decoration for somewhere or other. “I’ll bet my spleen you weren’t allowed to. That’s bad luck.”

He throws his hands up in defeat and walks outside, opting to take the long route. This way he’ll have scenery before retreating to his room. It’s quiet, but he suspects much of the bustle is inside each room, where everybody’s getting dressed and preparing.

He’s glad is isn’t overcast, is all—that’s the one thing you emphasized you would hate today.

Sometime in your third year of being together, you and Charles finally talked marriage, together drafting a list of yes-and-no’s. He remembers the night as clearly as he can, like he’s just staring passively at the back of his hand. You’d been fixing the apartment, because according to you, the sofas needed to be rearranged. 

Once they were, you claimed it didn’t match the coffee table. So the coffee table was moved to the balcony, the balcony table moved inside. Then a problem with the wall art, then the TV, then the curtains, then the decorations on your dining table. Spent and sweaty, you collapsed on the rearranged couch.

Equally tired from heeding your orders, he’d cranked the window open and flopped down beside you. Monaco was descending into a deep blue, after dusk had turned the room orange, set it on fire. You’d leaned into him. “I love it, but I think we just need a place together.”

That’d birthed the conversation of marriage. Neither of you were opposed to it. On a supermarket receipt and old prescription notice, you’d both jotted down what you wanted out of your wedding. He’d put: need a nice, tiered cake, with flowers on it. You’d put: bouquet of just lilies, baby’s breath, and two sprigs of basil, so it’d smell good when you pressed your nose to it. 

He’d put: no bachelor/ette parties. You laughed out loud and nodded. It’d be a trivia night for all your friends, you decided together. You’d put, then: ceremony in a library. “The one thing I’ve always wanted,” you swooned. 

He’d give it to you, he told himself then. He would. One of your big no-no’s was a rainy wedding day, which meant your previous dream location (somewhere in coastal England) was immediately out. You mulled over Greece, maybe even within Monaco, or France.

“We have time to decide,” he said. “Haven’t even proposed.”

“I expect the precious gemstone on my finger next year,” you said. “And no big proposals, please.”

“Oh, God. Must cancel the London Orchestra, Queen’s guards, and Coldplay’s special appearance as early as now, then?” You rolled your eyes, laughing before you kissed him. The list-making and subsequent reviewing had taken so long, your kiss was illuminated only by the full moon.

“Any other misgivings?” He’d chuckled, a kiss pressed to your jaw.

“We need to stay all night,” you croaked. “Leaving early is bad luck.”

Charles is by no means religious, nor is he superstitious, but he well and truly thinks luck and God might have been on his side when it came to being yours. 

He hasn’t seen you yet tonight, stationed beside Carlos and narrowing his eyes to predict when the big doors will open and let you through. Right then, the violin beats to life and everyone around him turns, faces blotched with tears and frozen with awe. Like always, you’re beautiful. Charles doesn’t need to see you in a veil and dress to realize this.

Your hair is pinned into a loose bun, your bouquet of lilies and basil green and lush. The big windows tint you a rosy orange in the Ionian sunset. You walk gracefully, slowly, swaying to the violin music. Your dress, like many of the ones you’d dreamed of then, is satin and simple. A high neckline, ending above your heels that click on the tile. You’re a brilliant force of nature, he thinks. 

You gaze up, smiling. Forget Sicily. You’re the prettiest here.  

Charles looks down, to remember if he’s changed his shoes, to remember the contrast of the tile. He needs to channel his emotions somewhere. Maybe if he looks down, gravity will just let his tears of overwhelm fall silently. His gaze is rooted to the floor, to occupy himself so he doesn’t feel his heart rip out of his chest when you pass him by. 

He takes a seat, with Carlos, watching you laugh and tear up yourself, your gaze stuck on your groom. The officiant announces the exchange of vows, and Charles can’t help but let his mind wander all over again, plant itself into memories long gone—like the day you’d mocked up your supposed wedding vows.

You had let him read yours, which willed him into a steadfast spot of never letting you read his, ever. He’d folded up the yellow pad paper he’d written it on and stashed it somewhere secret. It was the first thing he sought out when he sold the apartment after he cheated on you.

Later, at the reception, he loses his appetite but maintains a generally cheerful demeanor despite himself.

The small talk is stuffy, and Carlos is off dancing with Isa, so he’s alone. Halfway through a glass of Scotch, he turns and is met by your hand almost tapping his shoulder.

“Oh, my G—sorry!” He says profusely, downing the rest of it.

“All good,” you say with a laugh. “Lissie told me you wanted to talk earlier?”

“Oh, that,” he quips with faux nonchalance. Suddenly his whole plan, to give you a letter that had some of his old vows written into it, seems like a stupid, immature idea. “Well, I… was just going to wish you a great day. Considering everything, I’m just glad to be invited.”

“Don’t say that,” you insist softly. “Everything’s okay between us.”

“Yeah,” he says. It’s more of an attempt to convince himself than you. “Yeah.”

“Well, have fun. I hear the dessert bar is amazing.”

He watches you walk away again, and takes a tiramisu from the dessert bar.

Three bites later, retrieves his jacket from the coat check room, and ducks quietly out of the party when the third slow song of the night just starts to play, illuminated only by the full moon.

—

Being here To be able to I’ve been As nervous as 

If I told you and everyone here that I wasn’t poetic, I’d be lying. (People will laugh at this, honey.) Because although I’m not a wordsmith, in both my native tongues let alone my English, I seem to always find the best things to say about you and about our love. A dream that’s rivaled those of racing is my dream of growing old with you, and this is finally it. It’s finally happening. I wouldn’t trade anything for it.

Vows are about promises. I only have one. I promise to love you forever. Whatever it takes to keep it, I will. If it means letting you sleep in, I’m up by 5. If it means losing a race, consider the car unfinished. (Will Mattia like this joke?) If it means paving a walkway or building a library, I have the tools I need. It might get difficult, but in these moments of hardship, I promise everyday to make it easy for the both of us. 

(I think these vows are just me raving about you, bug…)

Call it luck, call it fate. I’ll call it my moves. (Yet another great joke babe!) How could I ever have gotten a woman so beautiful, so unlike any other? The idea that we are so small compared to the universe makes no sense to me, because the fact that you and I are both here, existing, now, is proof enough that the cosmos granted my wishes.

I love you— 

Even in my moments of bad luck,

Even when you’re giving me the cold shoulder,

Even when we’re 3,000 miles apart, and

Even if one day, you might no longer be mine.

[blueiscoool]

Lost and Found: Bottle Hunter Digs Extraordinary Farmland Treasures

Tom Askjem is a time traveler. Every May to November, he disappears into the bowels of the earth, descends to depths of 13’-plus, and returns to the surface with treasure—bottles and glassware from farming’s past.

After 1,800 pits and hundreds of thousands of relics, Askjem is equal parts archeologist, thrill seeker, and mole. Muscle on dirt, the North Dakota farm boy has turned an addiction into a career, multiple books, and a captivating YouTube channel with millions of views. However, Askjem seeks more than glass.

“I’m digging for adventure, history, and love,” he says. The past is in these holes and there are countless numbers of them across farmland.”

Time to hunt with a master.

The Infection

On the flats of extreme eastern North Dakota’s Traill County, Askjem, 32, prepares for a dig trip. “No mountains and no hills in the Red River Valley,” he describes. “You can see your dog run away for days. The land is mostly featureless, other than a few big cottonwoods and shelter belts where farms used to be.”

A mop of blonde hair sits atop a 6’-tall, lanky frame as Askjem saddles his pony—a Honda Civic. At the current mileage rate, the Civic will be junkyard fodder before it has a scratch: 60,000 backroad miles added to the odometer in the past six months.

Askjem piles layers of gear into the trunk, including three of each tool for insurance: shovels, pronged garden forks, trampoline pads, probe rods, buckets, plastic scoopers, trowels, tents, sleeping bags, blankets, pillows, air mattresses, clothes, and waterproof, Redwing leather work boots.

“It never gets old,” he says, wearing a wide grin. “I caught the infection when I was a kid.”

Digging Bodies

Pushed from the Grand Forks area by the historic Red River flood of 1997, Askjem moved to a farm outside Buxton at six years young. The main property was an 1878 homestead—a progression from sod house to log cabin to the present standing 1898 farmhouse decked in Victorian-era woodwork and hardware.

Surrounded by history, including the skeletons of old wagons and rusting machinery, Askjem explored a 5-acre patch of woods on the property, and chanced on a garbage dump: pop bottles and trash.

Askjem dug.

“I went deep and found stuff going back to 1898. When you’re a kid living in the country, there’s no going down the street and there’s no hanging with friends to play video games—you make your own adventure. I started hitting up all the farmers I could find for leads.”

Behind the wheel of a rattling go-cart, Askjem sought Buxton old-timers and collected tips on abandoned houses. “They all helped me,” he says. “Nobody cared where I hunted because I was just a little kid exploring for all the right reasons.”

“I’ve still got an elementary school journal with an assignment describing my weekend,” he adds. “I wrote, ‘Me and Mom dug up old bodies.’ The teacher marked my paper out of concern,” Askjem describes, with an easy, deep chuckle. “I meant to spell bottles, not bodies. But it shows I was truly hooked.”

Indeed. Wonderfully hooked.

Soft Landing

Why are bottles buried under farmland and old house sites?

Prior to plastic and synthetics, glassware held everything: medicine, hygiene products, alcohol, soda, and beyond. Glass was it.

Additionally, prior to waste disposal services, homeowners discarded trash on-site—in back yard outhouses, trash depressions, burn pits, and wells or cisterns. In short time, the various ground receptacle spots were filled and forgotten.

“Let’s say, for example, a family moved in around 1880,” Askjem explains. “That site likely has two or three outhouse locations prior to World War l. The outhouse spots filled up at a rate according to family size. I dug one farmhouse site that had six outhouses in a 10-year span. Folks went into the outhouses and threw away bottles: medicine, opiates, beer, whiskey. It was convenient and private, and had a soft landing, and got covered quickly. Even now, the bottles often are still preserved.”

“Generally, these houses also had a burn pit and/or dump pit. In the early days, they burned all trash in the stove for heat. Also, homestead bucket wells were filled up with trash and bottles once they were replaced by pump wells. Cisterns also were eventually filled up, but most of those are associated with houses in town.”

And the sites remain, he emphasizes, hiding intact relics beyond the reach of farm machinery or tillage equipment.

X Marks the Spot

Location. Location. Location. Other than a tip or invitation, how does Askjem find dig sites?

X marks the spot, at least in the county courthouse or public library. He spends winters poring over early property transaction documents. “I look at lot sales. If several lots sold for $100 each in 1880, but one sold for $1,000 in 1885, the price climb tells the story and likely represents a building location.”

“I also read old newspaper archives, looking for hotel or business advertisements,” Askjem continues. “Then I can look up the proprietor’s name and keep tightening the scope, narrowing down the exact building location.”

“Every single house is different, but generally, in the countryside, outhouses were 30 paces out the back door. In the city, where most lots were 140’ long, outhouses could be as close as 5-10 paces.”

Confident of a site’s potential, Askjem first asks for permission to dig from the landowner. “Property owners are always so kind to me and I don’t hide anything I find. They’re curious about what is in the ground, just like anybody else.”

Second, he grids out the site. “I put down markers 2 paces apart, maybe 20 paces long. I push probe rods into ground and feel for compaction differences. Depending on the location, I’ll call in and have utility lines marked out for power and gas.”

Decked in Levi’s and a tank-top, it’s time to tunnel.

Claustrophobic Comfort

Shovel in hand, Askjem descends into a layer cake of dirt: black topsoil to brown-colored clay to telltale ash to a use layer containing treasure.

“Generally, I go deep to find old items in quantity. The earliest bottles were used to the last drop by farmers and thrown out empty. Therefore, when they froze in brutal Dakota winters, the glass didn’t break from liquid expansion.”

As Askjem extracts glass vessels from the dirt and grime, his encyclopedic knowledge registers with each find. He recognizes the type, manufacturer, and age. Ink bottles, hygiene bottles, medicine bottles, beer bottles, soda bottles—and far more spill from the holes.

“I find patented medicine bottles across the country, but my favorite are soda bottles because they are unique to their locale and have character. The old soda bottles are usually marked with the bottler and town name because they were returnable.”

The outhouse pits are typically 6’-deep at home sites, with an average size of 6’-by-4’-by-3’. “I’ve dug ghost towns, dug saloons, train depots, and pool halls that were 12’ long, 4’ wide, and 8’ deep. I remember a hotel pit that was 20’-by-20’ and 8’ deep. There was a military fort with pits behind the barracks that was 12’ long, 4’ wide, and 13.5’ deep: That was a week’s worth of digging.”

Askjem’s subterranean realm provides no comfort to the claustrophobic. At 8’-9’, he braces the holes with woodwork. “I’m in a solid clay base that doesn’t cave, but I have a healthy respect for the ground’s limitation. Sometimes, it looks like I’m digging a rabbit hole.”

Preserved in nature’s freezer, the artifacts unearthed by Askjem often are in phenomenal condition.

“Pieces of newspaper can still be read; bottle labels are legible; white lime used in decomposition is visible; and undigested seeds are everywhere. Even 120-year-old human waste sometimes is perfectly preserved and still smells like hell. I wear a hydrogen sulfide respirator in those cases.”

“It’s all there; almost like it was dropped yesterday.”

Ghosts in the Ground

In 2022, Askjem began chronicling his digs via a YouTube channel, Below the Plains, and soon captured millions of views. At two posts per week, he gins footage at a steady rate to feed the algorithm, a tough task considering the ground in his geography is frozen from mid-November to mid-May.

Additionally, Askjem has written two in-depth books (Nebraska Soda Bottles 1865-1930 and A History of North Dakota Bottling Operations 1879-1930) and has more on the way. “I put the bottle prices in the books because they can sell for a whole lot and I always tell the landowners. Listing prices draw criticism, but that’s important to me because it helps preserve the item, and preservation of history is what drives me.”

Covered in dust or mud at the end of each day in digging season, Askjem is highly respectful of what he finds—almost reverent after 1,800 digs. “I appreciate everything I uncover because it represents a part of someone’s daily life and existence. There’s nothing wrong with coveting bottles, but I’m really in those holes for the moment of discovery.”

Even when not digging, Askjem is on the move, surfing on the coasts or river diving for lost cargo. In the decades to come, will he continue burrowing into the past? “Twenty years from now, I hope I’m still digging and there’s nothing I’d rather be doing right now.”

“There’s not an infinite amount of lost bottle sites, but there’s certainly an incredibly high number,” he continues. “There were 300,000 homestead farms in North Dakota with a minimum of one well, one outhouse, and one trash dump. And that doesn’t include towns where most of the population lived. There are millions of these sites in North Dakota and far more in other states.”

Respect to a freewheeling hunter like no other. Bottles draw the eye, but ghosts draw the heart: “The moment never gets old when you uncover a bottle and find that history,” Askjem adds. “Never.”

By CHRIS BENNETT.