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vernonfielding · 5 years ago

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Life Writes Its Own Stories

Chapter 15 (of 16!). (Also on AO3.)

Amy squinted into the glittery sunlight that filtered through the trees across the street from where they sat. She could have lifted a hand and shielded her eyes, or turned her body away from the glare, but she was so comfortable for the moment and she didn’t want to move. She blinked lazily instead, letting her eyes water and her vision go slightly blurry.

Jake’s good arm was thrown over her shoulder and he’d pulled her close to his side, almost possessively. His thumb drew distracted circles on her upper arm, and the slow rise and fall of his chest was soothing, even if he hadn’t been the one to stop breathing. She was aware of Jake talking to Commissioner Wuntch, could feel the rumble of his voice from where she was pressed against him, and the journalist in her thought she should be paying attention to what they were saying, but the kidnap-slash-overdose victim really didn’t give a shit.

Waking up after the overdose had been bizarre and confusing but not painful, and there were surprisingly few side effects from either the Jazzy Pants or the Narcan. The narcotic effect had been instantly gone, replaced by a vague sort of panic, like something was wrong but she couldn’t bring herself to care. The paramedics had made her lie on the floor of the penthouse, breathing flat-tasting oxygen through a mask, until they felt confident that she wasn’t going to need another shot of the overdose antidote. Only then had they let her sit up, then stand, and finally walk out of the building with Jake.

She wasn’t sure how long they’d been outside now. Someone had led them to a bus-stop bench – Amy had distantly wondered if a bus driver might mistake them for actual riders – and blankets had been draped over their shoulders, because Jake was only wearing a T-shirt and Amy had forgotten her jacket at work and it was December, after all. When Amy had started shaking, from cold or emotion or both, Jake had reached for her without a word, pulling his blanket over both of them and tucking her head under his chin.

Now, she just wanted to stay right here on this bench, with Jake, forever. Or until she had to pee or something.

“Santiago!”

Amy looked up at the familiar voice, and saw Terry waving madly from across the street. He said something to a cop manning the perimeter that had been set up around the penthouse building, and to Amy’s surprise the cop lifted the yellow tape and let Terry duck under it. Amy felt a jolt of annoyance – cops never let reporters beyond the yellow tape at a crime scene. Or they never let her, anyway.

Terry jogged up to their bench, and right away her irritation was replaced by a flood of affection from the way he was looking at her, his brows turned down in concern. He crouched in front of her and peered into her face, and rested one large hand on her knee.

“How’re you doing?” he said, all gentle warmth. Amy’s eyes immediately filled with tears. “Hey, don’t do that, it’s okay.”

“I know,” Amy said, sniffling and trying desperately to keep herself together. Jake had stopped talking to Wuntch, who was yelling at someone in the distance, and he squeezed Amy’s shoulder. “I’m fine,” she said, to both of them. “I really am.”

Terry smiled kindly at her, then looked up at Jake and beamed. “Peralta! How are you doing, man?”

“Okay for being kidnapped and stabbed, Sarge.”

“Wait-” Amy sat up straight and looked between the two of them. “No. You two do not know each other too.”

“Sergeant Jeffords was one of my instructors in the academy,” Jake said.

“Oh no no no,” Amy said. “That is impossible. Terry’s a journalist. He’s a newspaper editor.”

“Oh! This is your editor Terry?” Jake’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Wow, I had no idea you ended up at the Bulletin.”

Amy was shaking her head slowly, her exhausted brain struggling to keep up. She said, “How did that even happen?”

“After my girls were born, there was an incident-” Terry paused, and Amy got the sense he was trying to figure out how to shorten a long, or possibly embarrassing, story. “Basically, I was too scared to do field work anymore. I tried riding the desk but it was too depressing, so I left and got into journalism instead. Terry always did love newspapers.”

“This is insane.” Amy pulled away from Jake a bit, just enough to look him in the face. “Do you literally know everyone I work with?”

Jake shook his head. “Just Gina, Charles and I guess Terry. That’s gotta be it.”

Amy spotted Holt just then, crossing the street. She looked quickly between the two of them as Holt approached, holding her breath until they were face to face. Their eyes met, and they seemed to appraise one another, and then Holt said, “Raymond Holt, editor in chief of the Bulletin. You must be Amy’s detective-friend.” And Amy let out all her breath at once.

“Holt!” Rosa appeared just beyond his shoulder. “I wasn’t expecting you here.”

“Wait, Rosa knows Holt?” Amy said to Jake.

“No, she called him last night, when she was looking for us,” Jake said.

“Yeah, and also, I’m dating his niece,” Rosa said.

Jake frowned and stared between them, and Amy was glad that apparently she wasn’t the only one feeling a little sideswiped. “Wait, so-”

“Rosa’s friend Melanie is my sister’s daughter,” Holt said. “An amusing sidenote: Rosa also dated my nephew, Marcus.”

Amy gave up then and sank into Jake’s chest, and he folded the blankets securely around her. She could feel the laughter in his chest as she smiled and closed her eyes. What a strange little family she suddenly had.

+++

Their friends dispersed once the paramedics returned from treating the more seriously injured – the Vulture and Mr. Tall, Amy thought to herself, with a slightly manic chuckle – to transport Amy and Jake to the hospital. Wuntch approached them too, Scully at her heels; he was eating chicken wings out of a bucket, which he was sharing with Hitchcock. Amy watched them dully for a moment before blinking and deciding she might still be high after all.

She looked back at the commissioner instead.

“You did good work, Peralta,” Wuntch said, arms crossed over her chest. “I knew I was right to leave you and Diaz in the Nine-Nine.”

Jake stared blankly at her, and then his eyes widened, almost comically. “Oh my god, it was you. You kept rejecting our transfer requests.”

“Someone had to keep an eye on that jerkwad.” Wuntch nodded at Amy. “Thank you for your help, Ms. Santiago. You’re not a nightmare of a person, for a journalist.”

“You’re welcome?” Amy said, but Wuntch was already stomping away.

The paramedics took them to the hospital in one ambulance, but they were separated as soon as they got to the emergency room. It happened so fast that Amy didn’t realize Jake had been taken away until she turned to ask him if she’d be getting her phone back eventually, and he was gone. Amy paused mid-step, blinking at the spot where she’d expected him to be, until the nurse escorting her to an exam room took her gently by the elbow to lead her on.

She was hooked up to a machine to monitor the oxygen in her blood and her heart rate and blood pressure – it was just a precaution, the nurse assured her – and then told to rest. She fell asleep so fast she didn’t remember the nurse leaving the room.

When she woke up, Charles was standing so close to her bed that she yelped and batted him away, which caused the oxygen clip to fly off her finger, which in turn caused an alarm to go off and a new nurse to come storming in, and it was so chaotic that Amy’s heart rate shot up and set off a different alarm. The nurse offered Amy a sedative to calm her down, but she definitely did not want any more drugs so she said no and worked on breathing deeply in between glaring at Charles.

“I’m sorry,” he said, when the nurse had finally decided Amy wasn’t about to have a heart attack and left them alone. “But Gina wanted me to check if you were awake yet.”

“Gina?” Amy said, vaguely.

“Yeah, she needs a quote.” Amy stared at him some more. “For her story. On the whole Vulture drug ring thing. And, you know, the kidnapping and-” He trailed off, and awkwardly turned his cell phone over in his hands.

“She wants a quote. From me,” Amy said. Charles nodded. “What time is it?”

Charles turned the phone up in his palm and checked the time. “About 15 minutes to deadline.”

“Wait, what? How long have I been asleep?”

“Almost six hours,” Charles said.

Amy flopped back in the bed and stared up at the ceiling. After a moment of Charles twitching in her peripheral vision she held out a hand to him. “Call Gina and give me your phone.”

+++

Not long after she talked to Gina – who told her her quotes were boring, and Amy didn’t disagree but also was too tired and foggy to care – a doctor came by and said she could go home. Charles announced that Jake had instructed him to look out for Amy and make sure she got to her apartment safely, and to stay with her overnight if she felt like she needed company. (Amy thought that Jake probably hadn’t counted on Charles telling her all of that.) She told Charles she’d be fine on her own, but she’d be happy for the ride.

First, though, she wanted to see Jake.

It was getting close to 7 by the time she left the ER and headed into the main hospital, where Jake had been admitted for the night. A uniformed cop stood across from his room on the second floor, and it was after visiting hours, so it looked like Amy wasn’t going to be allowed in. She was just gearing up for a tantrum or a panic attack – she hadn’t committed to either – when Rosa appeared with a cup of coffee in hand and told the cop that Amy would just need a few minutes. Either because Rosa was in charge or just scary, the uniform didn’t argue.

The lights were dim, and Jake’s face was mostly in shadow. He was out cold, and even in the darkness she could tell that he was still too pale, and his eyes were bruised with exhaustion. He’d changed into a hospital gown and his right arm was bound securely to his chest; he had an IV in his left forearm, but it wasn’t attached to anything at the moment.

She carefully picked up his hand and rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, then bent over and kissed him on the forehead, just above his eye. His eyelids fluttered and she was afraid, and also hopeful, that he was going to wake up, but he slept on. She stood and watched him for a while, until Rosa came in to tell her it was time to go home.

+++

Amy slept hard that night and woke at dawn. Charles was passed out on her couch when she shuffled into the kitchen; she’d conceded to him staying after she’d seen the police car parked across from her building and remembered there was still one more kidnapper on the loose. On her coffee table was a note in his familiar copy-editor print, instructing Amy to come to the 82nd precinct first thing in the morning to talk to the detectives handling the Pembroke case.

She tried calling Jake at the hospital before she left, but the phone in his room just rang and rang.

Amy figured the Eight-Two was handling the case because the Nine-Nine obviously couldn’t be trusted to investigate its own captain – so she was pleasantly surprised to find Rosa at the precinct when she showed up at 9. When she asked Rosa about it, Rosa just said, “Jake’s my partner,” and led her to a meeting room.

The interview itself was exhaustive and exhausting, and when Amy finally was set free at noon, she was tempted to go home and sleep again. She asked Rosa if Jake was coming in to be interviewed later in the week, and Rosa said he was scheduled for that afternoon.

“So he’s been released from the hospital?” Amy said.

“Yeah. This morning.”

He could have called, Amy thought. But then, she didn’t have her cell phone – the detectives on the case said they were keeping it for evidence. Maybe he already had called. Maybe he was wondering where she was too.

After that, she decided to go into work. She didn’t need to be alone.

+++

“Santiago! What are you doing here – go home!”

Terry’s yell cut through the din of the newsroom as Amy walked toward her desk. She gave him a little wave and sat down across from Gina, who leaned forward and said, in a conspiratorial whisper, “You’re such a nerd.”

“What? Gina, I literally shot a drug dealer in the kneecap yesterday and was given a nearly fatal overdose of a brand-new street drug – that is not nerd behavior.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty dope, but your FOMOW is not.”

“I do not have FOMOW,” Amy said. “What is FOMOW?”

“Whatever you say, nerd.” Gina sat back in her chair and clicked her pen. “Now c’mon, I’m writing the follow-up story today and you’ve got to give me all the deets.”

So Amy spent another hour describing the events of the day before. The detectives at the Eight-Two had asked her not to talk to any reporters, to which Rosa had actually laughed out loud, and Amy had made them no promises. She told Gina almost everything now, except for two or three details that the cops had insisted be kept out of the press, at least until they were further along in their investigation.

After she talked to Gina, Amy called Jake at home again (still no answer) then gave a couple of brief phone interviews to the Bulletin’s competitors – there was something deeply satisfying about telling the New York Times reporter that she had no further comment five minutes into their conversation – and scheduled another appearance on The Brian Lehrer Show for the next day. Her inbox was flooded by the time she found a minute to check her emails, and she clicked out of it after doing a quick search to see if Jake had sent anything.

Charles took her out for a late lunch – everyone else was on deadline, mostly writing about the Vulture takedown – and when they got back to the newsroom, Holt called for her to come to his office. Amy couldn’t resist calling Jake first; she hung up after three rings.

“Close the door,” Holt said, when Amy entered his office. Her gut did a slow roll. He only closed the door for very serious conversations.

When Amy was seated in front of his desk, he asked how she was doing, and Amy said she was tired but otherwise fine. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened,” she said, feeling somewhat shy.

“That’s understandable,” Holt said. He studied her for a moment. “You realize I have to take you off of the police beat now.”

Amy sighed, but strangely, his words actually eased some of her tension. She was disappointed, but she’d expected this, after all. “I do, sir.”

“Santiago.” Holt folded his hands on his desk, and his face softened gradually until he looked almost affectionate. “Amy. This reassignment is not a reflection on your work. You are a most promising reporter. Your attention to detail, your persistence, and your eye for a good story are all remarkable. But what makes you stand out is your commitment to telling the full story – to exploring the gray area between the black and white.”

Amy could feel herself blushing from her forehead to her toes. She was dizzy with pride, her head buzzing from it.

“Thank you, sir. That means-“ She paused and took a deep breath. “It means everything.”

Holt nodded sagely. Then he smiled a bit and said, “Not that it’s any of my business, but I think that is why you and this detective make a good team.”

“How so?” Amy truly had no idea what he was talking about – she wasn’t even sure if she and Jake were a team anymore, romantic or otherwise. Just because they had comforted one another through a terrible ordeal didn’t mean they were together, or back together, or whatever.

“Your pursuit of the truth, and your faith that you’ll get there,” Holt said. “I don’t know your friend Detective Peralta personally, of course. But that he risked his life and his career to take down his own captain shows impressive strength of character.”

“Well, in fairness, Jake really hated Pembroke,” Amy said with a smirk.

“As well he should have.”

But Amy understood what Holt was saying, and she didn’t disagree. She supposed that she and Jake did share more than one or two key values – values that defined them, even, and that they sought and cherished in one another.

She was repeating his words over in her mind (and still basking in his praise) when Holt began tapping a pencil on his desk, snapping her out of a haze.

“Though it’s unfortunate that you got caught up in this whole drug ring boondoggle, I have to admit, it’s given us quite the advantage on this story,” Holt said, as though he were thinking out loud. “Even Wuntch has been grudgingly giving us information. And she’s basically just a skin-suit stuffed with gremlins.”

Amy stared at him, completely at a loss at how to respond to any of that. Finally she said, somewhat faintly, “You know Commissioner Wuntch?”

“She was a source of mine back when I was a reporter,” he said. “Things didn’t end as well for us as they did for you and Detective Peralta.”

Amy nodded vaguely. “I see.”

“Dismissed, Santiago.”

+++

Unfortunately, even Holt’s accolades withered under Amy’s growing anxiety over Jake. As the afternoon faded to evening, she tried to keep herself busy and distracted. She went through all of her emails, and she read every word of news coverage she could find on the Vulture situation. (The Bulletin’s coverage was the best, by a longshot.) She made a list of potential follow-up stories, most of which she wouldn’t be able to do because she was too close to it all.

At the same time, she lost count of the calls to Jake’s home and the many messages left for him at work – at the Nine-Nine and the Eight-Two. She called Rosa enough times that she started sending Amy straight to voicemail. Jake’s cell phone voicemail was full by mid-afternoon, but she kept calling anyway. She sent him multiple emails, and even stole Charles’ phone to send a few texts.

She was trying not to think worst-case scenarios. But it had been a full day since she’d seen him, longer than that since they spoke. It was hard not to worry when she felt like she was crawling out of her skin with the need to hear from him (and see him and touch him, smell him even) and yet, he hadn’t reached out to her. Her desk phone had been ringing all afternoon, and in fairness, she hadn’t been able to pick up every time, but not once was it Jake’s voice on the other end. The rise and fall of hope each time she answered was making her physically ill.

By 7:30 it was starting to hit her that she was going to have to endure this stress at home, alone, when the new copy desk intern approached her desk, his face flushed and splotchy like he was incredibly nervous. She wanted to take pity on him but she couldn’t call up the energy, so she just looked up at him expectantly.

“Amy Santiago?” His voice cracked – on both names.

“That’s me,” Amy said with a sigh.

“Uh, hi.” Beads of sweat were pearling on the poor kid’s forehead. “I’m such a huge fan, your story on the jail recordings was awesome, and I just know you’re going to write something amazing about, you know, this drug stuff.”

“Well- thanks,” Amy said, genuinely touched.

“Anyway, I- I took down this message for you earlier, and then I forgot-” He held out a slip of paper torn from a reporter’s notebook, and Amy snatched it from his hand so quickly he jumped.

“A message? From today? Why are you just giving it to me now?” But Amy ignored his reply and read the note.

It said, “Meet at the park. 7 p.m.”

Amy grabbed her jacket and her purse and raced for the door. She heard the intern calling after her and thought she should have at least asked his name. But then again he’d sat on a message from Jake for who knew how long, so the kid was basically dead to her.

She ran outside and practically jumped in front of the first cab she saw, planting her hands on the hood and then pulling open the passenger door before even checking to see if it was available.

“The park!” Amy called through the glass partition. When the driver just raised an eyebrow at her in the rearview mirror she nearly growled. “Fort Greene. By the way, I shot a man yesterday. Make it fast.”

CHAPTER 16

#b99 fic #peraltiago #jake and amy au #newspaper au #life writes its own stories

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truthbeetoldmedia · 6 years ago

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Brooklyn Nine-Nine 6x11 “The Therapist” Review

Since Season 1, Jake’s refusal to go to therapy (and even outright dismissal of the validity of therapy), despite the obvious lingering issues he has from being abandoned by his father as a kid, has been a recurring theme. In “The Therapist”, all of this finally comes to a head, as Jake comes to terms with why he’s been so resistant to receiving help for some of his past trauma.

For the most part, this episode handles the topic of mental health well; both Terry and Charles talk about how they regularly go to therapy, and Terry is astounded that Jake has never sought out a therapist after everything he’s been through. (To recap: Terry brings up how Jake was shot by Amy, held at gunpoint and forced to write his own suicide note by his ex-girlfriend’s ex-boss, sent to prison for a crime he didn’t commit, and joined and gang and tried meth while at said prison. And that’s not even mentioning the time Jake spent in the mafia, or in witpro in Florida, or all the other traumatic stuff he’s exposed to just by being a cop.)

And although the episode does talk mental health — something EP Dan Goor promised they would do if the right opportunity presented itself — it’s not even the primary focus; the episode’s main plot revolves around a potential murder, after a therapist, Dr. William Tate calls in to say one of his patients, Susan Buckley has gone missing, and he’s worried her husband killed her after he received a worrying call from him.

Susan’s husband, James, mentioned doing something horrible to his wife in a park so that’s where Jake and Charles head, with Dr. Tate in tow. Jake’s hostility towards therapists is on display right from the start, as he compares the doctor to Hannibal and reacts angrily towards Dr. Tate’s mild questions. To Jake’s relief, Charles finds a body in the bushes, putting his conversation with the therapist on hold.

Now that they’ve found the victim, it’s time to track down her suspected killer. The search takes them to the couple’s apartment, which is unlocked, empty, and devoid of anything suspicious except for strange contemporary artwork featuring Jesus. Jake becomes suspicious of Dr. Tate when he’s able to immediately point out the location of a bathroom in an apartment he’s supposedly never been in before (in New York, the location of the bathroom is never obvious) but Charles just thinks Jake is letting his bias towards therapists get in the way of his detective instincts.

(Personally, I was fully on Jake’s side; I was suspicious of Dr. Tate ever since Jake mentioned that the only DNA found at the scene of the crime was of the three of them who discovered the body.)

After promising Charles he won’t go behind his back and break into the therapist’s office Jake...does exactly that. His misconduct (did he even stop to get a warrant?) pays off when he finds a notebook hidden in a filing cabinet filled with information about the dead woman and her currently missing husband.

Dr. Tate returns to the office as Jake is trying to sneak out and he finds himself taking refuge in a different therapist’s office to avoid being seen. Once there, he ends up pretending to be a man with multiple personality disorder (or dissociative identity disorder, as it’s more properly known) while he waits for Dr. Tate to leave.

This was the only part of the episode I felt weird about; while I feel like this bit was a chance to showcase Andy Samberg’s notoriously bad skill at accents, it came across as...disrespectful towards an actual mental illness, when this show usually has such nuance navigating around these topics. Since I don’t know much about dissociative identity disorder I’ll leave it at that but I feel like it could have been handled better.

Jake finally makes it back to his car, where he’s surprised by Dr. Tate, who’s been hiding in his backseat with a gun. The therapist admits to not only killing Susan but her husband as well, along with another couple several years back; in order to stall him, Jake ends up opening up about his problems with therapy: he’d gone to family counselling with his parents when he was a kid because he was acting up in class, but the sessions only brought attention to his parents’ problems, which eventually led to their divorce.

Jake blaming himself for his dad leaving makes a ton of sense not just in the context of this episode but in the context of the entire series, making it one of those well-earned reveals that’s less of a surprise to the audience than it is to Jake himself. I’m glad he had a breakthrough, and if he does choose to go forward with therapy sessions in the future I hope that’s something the show continues to address.

Before Dr. Tate can kill Jake, Charles shows up — Jake had managed to text him his location without looking at his phone. Kind of. (Actually he texted Amy a string of random characters, who forwarded the message onto Charles, who used “find my phone” to figure out Jake’s location.) So Jake got a free therapy session from a murderer who they have now successfully apprehended, win-win!

Back at the precinct, Captain Holt finds out the rest of the squad has already met Jocelyn, Rosa’s girlfriend — albeit unintentionally — and invites Rosa to bring her to dinner with him and Kevin on the weekend.

Can we talk for a moment about how far the relationship between these two has come? Going all the way back to Season 2 when Kevin wanted to have Rosa and her then-boyfriend, Marcus, over for dinner and Holt and Rosa conspired to stop their lives from becoming too entangled. Since then, the two have become a lot closer: Holt was one of the first people Rosa allowed herself to become vulnerable with when she went to him for advice during her breakup with Marcus; he convinced Rosa of her place within the Nine-Nine family when she tried to run away to Argentina; and he provides her with support, love, and understanding as the only other (out) LGBTQ+ cop in the precinct.

Rosa turns down Captain Holt’s request to have her and Jocelyn over for dinner, but not because she’s worried such an event will bring them uncomfortably close, as she was in Season 2. Now it’s because they are close, and her captain’s opinion matters so much that she’s afraid he won’t like her new girlfriend.

Rosa’s so worried about this that she goes to lengths to introduce Captain Holt to an actress she hired to play Jocelyn, so that she can gauge his reaction; when Holt realizes what’s going on, he’s understandably upset. While he thinks the reason Rosa won’t introduce him to Jocelyn is because she’s not as close to him as she is to the rest of the squad, it’s the opposite that’s actually true.

Captain Holt — and the audience — get a chance to meet Jocelyn for real, when she appears in the precinct break room and introduces herself to Holt through a bad joke that instantly endeared me to her. I don’t know if Jocelyn is Rosa’s forever-girl, but I hope she sticks around for a while.

Footnotes:

Two episodes in a row now that Charles has mentioned doing couples activities with his dad. I realize his dad is going through a breakup, but what happened to Genevieve?! I miss her.

“It’s just that sometimes you can be...judgemental.” “What a stupid thing to say.” Never change, Captain Holt.

Holt’s conversation with Kevin about rice is adorable, when can Marc Evan Jackson guest star on the show again?

“Mentally ill people are much more likely to be the victims than the perpetrators” was a really nice line for them to just throw in there.

Charles’ tendency to be unconsciously sexual is one of my favourite things about him, please don’t take that away.

It was nice to get confirmation that Scully and Cindy Shatz are still going strong.

The brief kiss between Rosa and Jocelyn was the first kiss between a same-sex couple on this show (still waiting on Holt and Kevin); not only that, but it was a kiss between two LGBTQ+ characters portrayed by two LGBTQ+ actresses, which I think is pretty cool.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine airs Thursdays at 9/8c on NBC.

Sam’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #The Therapist #Mental Health #LGBTQ+ Characters

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alwaysforyouscully · 7 years ago

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Dream Forgery: MSR Fic

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Scully’s POV. She thinks about the loss of her dreams. MSR angst.

@today-in-fic

Scully had long since forgotten what her own dreams were. Mulder had essentially committed dream forgery in the first degree.

“A nice trip to the forest” he claimed. Her dreams of chirping birds and starry skies turned into dayglow bugs and a near death experience.

Quick trips “just to check” on sewer dwellers and fat sucking mutants turned into nightmares of days and days of autopsying poor souls until she was too tired to stand.

Dream forgery.

Scully had once dreamt of candlelit dinners with someone that listened to her wants and needs but ended up with a weary eyed Mulder scarfing pancakes, burgers and sweet potato pie at any number of roadside diners, while he rambled on about the Yeti and Mothmen.

She tries not to sulk about her waking life but she wasn’t prepared for what started happening at night, in her most intimate moments.

Dana Scully was a sexual being or at least she used to be. She loved being loved and being made love to. She longed for that breathless moment just before she came, her lover’s name on her lips but Mulder had now stolen that as well.

Working all hours, day and night left no time for that particular luxury.

So she had resorted to being the master of her own pleasure, no longer having the time to find someone that could fulfill her needs. She spent her nights, eyes closed, mind drifting to the feelings and sounds from her past, creating a tingling in her abdomen and a moisture between her legs. She would work herself into a frenzy, fingers on her clit breathing Marcus’ or Ethan’s name until the night Mulder’s name escaped her lips.

Dream forgery.

Scully bolted up in bed, sweat on her brow, heart pounding, mortified as her wet fingers slipped from her body.

“Damn him” she yelled into the dark of her hotel room.

White picket fences had long drifted from her mind but children still held a special place in her dreams.

Yet Mulder had somehow seeped in here too, not his fault, not his theft but there he stood telling her he found a vial of her ova. That he’d known for years but couldn’t bear to crush her dreams.

Dream forgery.

Scully somehow got past his thievery, saw past his all consuming presence in her life and one night she crossed the invisible line between them.

For once in seven long years her dreams aligned with her heart. Her dreams of his lips on hers, his hands skimming her body. Stroking, teasing and igniting a fire, burnt out for so long.

Scully woke after that first night and watched the midnight moon play across Mulder’s face. His eyes jerking beneath their lids, mouth slack and breathing slow as he dreamed.

She wonders if she ever stole one of his dreams, took his desires in a different direction, claimed it as her own.

She dressed quietly unwilling to disturb his slumber, wanting his fantasy and reality to merge for the time being, to allow him to dream before she had the chance to be the one to commit dream forgery.

She slips out wondering if she will ever be able to create dreams of her own again or if she is forever destined to combine her longings with his.

As the door latches behind her, she hopes for the latter.

#msr fic #angst

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bloodlnthemoonlight · 8 years ago

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I got tagged by @marcuskanc @abbykomskaikru and @abbygkane thank you, my loves! ❤

rules: list ten of your favorite people from ten different fandoms and then tag ten people!

(Now, watch me rant...)

1) Marcus Kane - Yes, hello, I'd like to make a formal complaint: Marcus Kane has ruined my life. His development from the beginning has been a thing of beauty. He learns from his mistakes, comes to terms with his flaws and works to change them. He lets other people change him and lets himself learn from them. He's open minded, he's always thinking of the bigger picture, and of doing the right thing for his people. And he has such a huge capacity for love, understanding and forgiveness that I just want to wrap him up and protect him FOREVER. Basically he's my beautiful, selfless, adorkable puppy.

2) Carol Peletier - MY QUEEN. She has suffered so much and come so far and gives so much of herself to others that the thought of losing them, of not being able to fight for them, is tearing her apart. I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I'LL DEFEND HER TILL THE END OF TIME.

3) Dana Scully - On the surface, TXF makes you think that this is Mulder's journey, Mulder's life, but it is absolutely Scully's. Mulder is essentially the same guy we met all those years ago; it is Scully who we see undergo this incredible journey where all her beliefs are challenged, where she questions who she is and her place in the universe. We see her control of her own body taken away from her, the abduction, the cancer, her ability to conceive, the chip in her neck, but she retains her unyielding strength and dazzling intellect.

4) Remus Lupin - Oh, my son, how you have suffered. But you are still so good, so kind, so patient. You're the kind of self-sacrificing idiot I adore, denying yourself happiness out of some misguided notion that it'll protect your wife and child from the same persecution you've had to endure your whole life, until you come to your senses. You're loyal, wise, and incredibly skilled. (And even though I'm still unsure of who I'd mentally cast as Remus, David Thewlis did a good job.)

5) Desmond Hume - Oh, Des. You made some mistakes, you ran away from commitment more than once, but God knows I understand that. You more than paid for it. And you realised that none of the crap you were afraid of mattered. Only Penny mattered. I love him because he's a good man, who's sacrificed his own happiness more than once to do the right thing, to save others. And he loves with his entire being.

6) Brienne of Tarth - My Lady knight. Braver and stronger and purer and more honourable than any man who would call himself "Ser". She has to fight everyday to be taken seriously. She made Jaime Lannister remember how he wanted to be better than the man he'd become.

7) Princess Leia Organa - My original screen inspiration, at 7 years old. The princess who had a couple of guys, with no clue what they were doing, turn up to save her, and proved smarter and more competent than either of them put together. A rebel leader. A girl who could hold her own in a fight, with words or with a gun or with her bare hands.

8) Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace - I saw, and still see, a lot of myself in Kara. Whether it's her self-destructive side, her thrill seeking, or her artistic side that feels everything deeply. She's deeply flawed, and incredibly human, and she buries her pain under sarcasm and bravado. I don't have much of the latter, but I have a ton of the former.

9) Malcolm Reynolds - The space cowboy/pirate/soldier with a heart of gold and the best ship in the 'verse! (Except maybe the Millennium Falcon lol.) I love the entire crew of Serenity with all my heart, but their captain has always been my fave. He can be an asshole, a badass, a bit clueless in navigating certain emotions... But he loves his crew, and he'll always fight for the little guy.

10) Abby Griffin - Yeah, I know, but @abbykomskaikru cheated too, and I quite honestly couldn't bear to not have her on this list, especially now! She is passionate and fierce and stubborn and brave, and she *feels* everything so much. She's also hella smart and she's gonna save the whole fucking human race, okay?!

I tag @beautiful-rebellious-sunflower @catalan1 @shefollowedfires @thematic-kane and @griffinskane

#tag games #ALL MY BABES

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stedelasso · 8 years ago

Text

Things I Love

tagged by @knightinironarmor

One song: Lately I’ve been obsessed with two songs and can’t pick one so they are One of Us is Dead - The Earlies and Me - The 1975

Two movies: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang forever. Such a brilliant film I love it so. The Wedding Singer. A classic

Three shows: Friends. Always friends. House. My favorite show I actually kept up with as it aired through almost its whole duration. The X-Files. I’m a perfect combination of Mulder and Scully but more with Mulders readiness to believe.

Four people: Robert Downey Jr. My fave and bae number one always. Marcus Mumford the love of my life. My BFF you know who you are. All my sisters.

Five foods: Sunflower seeds. The garden burger from my cafeteria. String cheese. Coffee counts. Twix bars.

Six people to tag: @starkanthonys @downeylove @downeyfied-nourwhal @yungmatzoball @oscarextrada @kayytx

#things #about

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atths--twice · 5 years ago

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Chapter 10

Seventeen Again

Seventeen years after the night on the pier, the kids Mulder and Scully met, reminisce about the past, what they are up to now, and how much that night meant to them.

April 2017

Meredith sat at her work desk typing, when she was interrupted by Roxanne, the floor receptionist, carrying a box and smiling.

“Mrs. Northern, a package arrived for you,” she said, setting the box down on Meredith’s desk. “There are some flowers too, but I couldn’t carry both. Be right back, hon.” She walked away and Meredith stared at the box.

“What is he up to now?” she whispered with a smile, reaching for her letter opener and the box. Popping it open, she found raffia in a rainbow of colors. Shaking her head, she moved it aside carefully, finding quarters, prize tickets, and then at the bottom, a large stuffed, squishy, swirled ice cream cone. “Jeremy …” she said with a smile.

Her phone rang and she knew it was him before she answered it. “Yes, dear?” she said staring at the ice cream cone.

“Did you get your surprise?” he asked, and she could tell he was smiling.

“I did. Where in the world did you find this?” she asked with another shake of her head.

“A magician never reveals his secrets. Did you find the note?” His excitement was palpable even through the phone.

“The note? No, I didn’t find a note. Just quarters, tickets, and the ice cream cone,” she said as she looked in the box again. “No note here, honey.”

“Psssh, look inside the ice cream. Double Dare style, my love,” he said as if it were obvious. She laughed and began to feel for an opening of some kind in the squishy ice cream cone.

Finding a hidden zipper, she opened it and found a small scroll of paper inside, tied with a rainbow ribbon. Good God, she loved this weird amazing man. Untying and unrolling the scroll, she discovered an invitation.

“Hello? Did you find it?” she heard him say.

“You are cordially invited to attend the annual Double F festivities. This year, however, there is a twist. The arcade has been rented for the evening and there will be a private screening of the truly horrendous movie, “The Lazarus Bowl,” at the end of the evening. Replica bowls, popcorn, and beverages will be provided. Bring this invitation to the door and remember the password,” she read, a huge smile on her face. “Jeremy, really?”

“Oh yes, I got some of the group together, some of the original gang of twelve, and we will be there tonight,” he said, and she could hear the happiness in his voice. She shook her head as she looked at the stuffed ice cream cone, excited for tonight.

“So that’s why your mom is taking the kids tonight,” she said, as Roxanne walked back, and set the flowers on her desk. Meredith smiled at the priceless look on her face shaking her head at the bouquet, confused as to why Meredith was laughing. “The flowers, Jeremy,” she giggled and he laughed too.

They were not exactly flowers, but a bouquet of the main movie characters heads on floral sticks. There were zombies and a few different ones of Garry Shandling, Téa Leoni, and Richard Gere. The faces he chose were hilarious and she laughed as she looked at them closer.

“You are too much,” she said, so happy with this man who loved her and celebrated days like this and in the ways he did. “So tonight, huh? I can’t believe it’s been seventeen years since that night.”

“Me either, Babe,” he said quietly with a sigh. “It was a great night.” She smiled and nodded although she knew he could not see her.

“So, we’ll head home, change and meet the others at what time? Oh yes, I see now, 7:30. Okay, let me get back to work, you big weirdo, and I’ll see you at home later. I love you,” she said, moving the bouquet back and setting the ice cream cone back in the box.

“I know,” he said.

“Stop Solo-ing me,” she said and they both laughed. Hanging up, she looked at the things again and got back to work.

The day dragged on, but finally at 5:00, she grabbed her things and left. Setting her items from Jeremy in the back inside Anna’s car seat, she shut the door before getting in and heading home.

Traffic, as usual, was awful at this hour, but it could not stop her smile or the happy excitement inside her. Today was Double F Day and as always, her mind drifted back to when it was not a celebratory day, but an ordinary night …

________________

April 2000

Seventeen years old, she stood in front of her bedroom mirror, ready for the evening, and sighed. Sometimes she hated the way she looked. All the other girls she was going out with tonight were so different than her.

Karine and Kelly were both so beautiful and sure of themselves. Tiffany and Jessica were like peas in a pod and they did everything together. Both of them were the life of the group and made everyone laugh. At least her best friend Laia was coming.

They had known each other since grade school and Laia was the only one who knew the extent of her crush on Jeremy. How she had fallen for him in third grade when Marcus Tolan took her show-and-tell stuffed animal and Jeremy demanded he give it back. He stood between them and pushed Marcus when he did not listen the first time. That was all it took and he dropped the animal. Jeremy picked it up and handed it to her, saying he was sorry. Only Laia knew Meredith then renamed that stuffed bear after Jeremy. She still had that ragged “Jer-Bear” in a box somewhere, unable to throw it out.

Over the past couple of years her crush on him ramped up, but remained unspoken. He was always kind to her: offering to help carry her science project into the gym, giving her a ride home when she missed the bus, dropping off notes and homework the week she was sick with the flu. Even though he did all that, she knew it was only as a friend. He would never consider dating her when the other girls he dated were so different than her.

But, God, she wanted to be with him.

Laia arrived a few minutes before seven and they headed to Karine’s house. All the girls got along well, though there were times of strife. Meredith tended to clam up when they were all together, still slightly unsure and insecure in her own skin, but loved being with them, this random group of girls.

After hanging out for a bit, they all double checked their makeup, hair, and clothes, before piling in Karine’s mom's van which she was borrowing for the night. Laughing and singing along to the radio turned up loudly, they drove to In-n-Out to meet the boys and get burgers and fries. Laia nudged Meredith and slyly gestured toward Jeremy, as if she had not noticed him the second they pulled up. He smiled at her and her heart raced, try as she might to stop it.

Food eaten between fits of laughter and screaming jovially at one another, they went to the beach before heading to their final destination, the arcade on the pier. The boys were all ridiculous: seeing who could run the fastest, the furthest, or jump the highest. They found rocks and saw who could throw them the furthest into the water, or try to skip them in between waves.

Kevin picked up Kelly and pretended he was going to throw her in the water. She screamed and laughed before he put her back down. Karine sighed beside her and Meredith knew that she had a crush on Kevin. She empathized with her as she knew Kevin only saw Kelly when they were all together. Catching her eye, Meredith smiled at her and Karine sighed again.

Continuing on down the beach, the boys were still being a bit silly, but Meredith was not paying attention to them. She was watching Jessica, who radiated beauty without even trying. A star athlete, she always looked like she was walking into a modeling job. Tall, poised, and self confident, she had everything Meredith wished she possessed. Sighing, she shook her head knowing she could try forever and never be like Jessica.

“OWWWW!!” She heard and looked up to see what the scream was for and who did it. Kevin and Derek had been the culprits, if the shoving and laughing had anything to do with it. A couple was apparently mid-embrace and the boys felt the need to interrupt them. Everyone was laughing and then they heard the man yell back “Thanks!”

Kevin laughed harder and yelled back, “She’s hot,” much to the other boys amusement. Meredith felt secondhand embarrassment at their actions and glanced at the couple as they walked closer. The woman seemed embarrassed, but the man was smiling and quite handsome. Meredith smiled and continued walking down the beach toward the pier.

Of course, before they actually made it, the boys began pushing at each other again, and wrestling around. Even Jeremy was acting up and she sighed. Boys were so ridiculous at times. She glanced up and saw the couple from earlier again. She watched them, fascinated by their interactions. Seeing her wearing his coat made her smile, it was so romantic.

“I thought you said we were going to the arcade? Going to play some games?” Tiffany said, and Meredith looked away from the couple to see Tiffany rolling her eyes at the boys.

Meredith smiled and the boys actually started to settle down and walk toward the pier. They did not get far when they heard a voice call out to them. “Hey! Did one of you say something about an arcade?”

Meredith turned and saw the man and woman coming toward them. She did not pay attention to his words, but watched him as he came up to them. He was handsome indeed, with a very nice smile. The boys started chattering away, and Meredith watched the woman. She was stunning and seemed embarrassed to be standing with a bunch of teenagers.

She wore a different expression as she looked over at her boyfriend, open and seemed to be having an intense silent conversation. Walking to the stairs and waiting at the top, Meredith watched them again, how he took the time to clean her feet of the sand they had been walking in and it made her feel butterflies in her stomach.

The other girls clamored around the woman as she got to the top of the stairs, but Meredith simply watched her and how she behaved. She seemed to feel the way Meredith did at times, unsure and a bit uncomfortable. She was even more stunning up close and Meredith had to stop herself from openly gaping at her.

Going into the arcade, the couple introduced themselves as Mulder and Scully, no first names, as they paid everyone’s way to play for the next hour. It was very kind and completely unexpected. Meredith took her quarters and she and Laia went to play some games. They joined in with the “Fuck Federman” rally cry and it was fun to watch the others win or lose the game before they yelled it out.

Not earning enough tickets to get the prize she wanted at the end of the evening, Meredith stepped back flustered and ready to leave. Suddenly, Jeremy was there and handing over his tickets without a word, making her blush as he smiled at her. She stepped back up and got the rainbow colored flower pillow she had wanted.

________________

Meredith grinned as she pulled up in front of the house, her memories cut short for the time being. Turning off the car, she sat there for a minute wondering where that pillow was now. She never got rid of it, so it had to be somewhere in the garage. Tomorrow she was going to look for it.

Leaving the car, she went into the house and found Jeremy eating chips at the counter, a bottle of beer open beside him. He raised his eyebrows at her and she walked over and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him rapidly and repeatedly on his cheek.

“Happy Double F Day,” she said with a grin. He swallowed his mouthful of chips and kissed her on the lips before slapping her ass and laughing.

“And Happy Double F Day to you as well. We need to hurry and get changed. I laid out our outfits on the bed, let’s get a move on,” he said, kissing her once more.

“Wait, what do you mean outfits?” she asked, highly suspicious. He had a tendency to go bigger than big at times. “I didn’t see outfits on the invite.”

“No? Hmm that’s odd,” he said with a shrug and wide eyes. She narrowed hers at him and he shrugged again, pushing her toward the stairs.

Walking into their room and seeing the clothes he laid out, she burst out laughing. Wide legged jeans, a baby doll t-shirt, and flip flops. She shook her head at him and then looked at his outfit. Oh dear God. Athletic pants, a white undershirt, and a button shirt- his Eminem phase. Rolling her eyes, he laughed and she shook her head again.

“Tonight, we’re seventeen again,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist. “We have to look the part.” She laughed again and went to take a quick shower while he changed his clothes.

Clothes on, hair and makeup done similar to that night, she slipped on her shoes, and presented herself to him. He looked her up and down and shook his head. “There’s something missing,” he said and took out a pair of lens free black glasses and put them on her. She scoffed, but he smiled. “There. Now it’s perfect.” Kissing her quickly, he grabbed her hand and pulled her downstairs.

Arriving at the pier, he paid for parking and they walked hand-in-hand to the arcade. She grinned as the memories of the night came back. The ice cream cone Jeremy brought to her before any other friends had been served, his shy smile as he did, and how she felt when he walked away. She squeezed his hand and smiled at him.

He opened the door to the arcade and a chorus of “Surprise!” rang out and she gasped. Everyone was there, all the friends from that night seventeen years ago, and dressed similarly to her in the fashions of the millennium. Karine, Kelly, Tiffany, Jessica, and …

“LAIA!!!” Meredith shouted as she grabbed her in a crushing hug. “How are you here?! I’m so happy to see you!”

“Hey, seventeen years is a big deal. We are all double the age as that night. It’s like a Double Double F Anniversary,” Laia said hugging her back tightly. Meredith pulled back and held her friend's face in her hands, grinning like a fool while Laia did the same.

She had been in Spain for the past three years, and while FaceTime and emails were wonderful, face-to-face was even better. Hugging her again, they moved to talk to the other people at the party.

Jessica and Tiffany, married to each other now and expecting their first child in a couple of months, had driven down from San Francisco. Jessica was as beautiful as ever, pregnancy agreeing with her. After graduation, the two had gone to college together, and come to realize they were in love with each other. Their wedding and reception was the most fun one Meredith ever attended. Maybe a bit too much fun, as nine months later Anna was born.

Karine and Kevin were also married, him having admitted he went for Kelly because he thought Karine would never like him. Kelly was upset at first, but understood, and eventually married a super rich, super down-to-earth divorced father and they were happy together. They only had his daughter part time, and Karine and Kevin had two boys. Rambunctious, sweet, and smart boys who kept their parents on their toes.

Derek and Mike were still bachelor’s and in no hurry to settle down. Derek traveled a lot for work and felt it unfair to ask a family to be a part of that life. Mike had been hurt in the past by a woman he loved dearly, and now had a sour taste in his mouth from it. He still dated, but kept it casual and loose.

Ryan and Isaac, the two guys Jeremy considered his closest friends, were now married to amazing women. They all often got together for barbecues or to watch a football game. Ryan was the coach at their old high school and Isaac owned a consulting firm in Beverly Hills.

Meredith looked around at the people gathered together tonight to celebrate this day, people coming from far flung places around the globe and she smiled. These eleven other people shared a memorable evening that lasted seventeen years, and she was immensely grateful to know each and every one of them.

“All right!” Jeremy yelled above the noise of laughter and catching up. “We all know what today is and why we’re here, but it’s also special for a couple of reasons. First of all, we are, as Laia said, double the age we were on that night. How different life was then, right?” They all cheered and groaned in equal parts. “Also, it’s mine and Meredith’s anniversary of sorts, but that’s just for us, so keep your groans to yourselves.” Everyone laughed and Meredith smiled at him as he winked. “Lastly, a bit of sad news. The reason we’re here tonight instead of a restaurant or some place else, is for the anniversary yes, but also because the arcade is going to be closing. This will be our last chance to be here, all together before it does.” It was quiet among them as his words sunk in, but then Derek spoke up as he shook his head.

“Fuck Federman! You know this is somehow that asshole’s fault.” They all laughed and the sadness was broken. He nodded and they all walked to the counter to grab their cups of quarters.

“We all know what we’re doing here,” Derek said, shaking the quarters in his cup. “Every game will be a challenge, loser moves on, winner stays for the next challenger, if desired. The winner of Skeeball or any other ticket giving game will be determined by the amount of tickets at the end. You know what to do, good luck and …”

“FUCK FEDERMAN!” they all yelled in unison. Laughter rang out and challenges were issued immediately.

Jessica and Tiffany went to play air hockey, Karine and Kevin went to play a zombie killing game, Derek and Kelly began a game of vintage Donkey Kong, Ryan and Mike ran for the pinball machine, Jeremy and Isaac went for the table Asteroid game, and Meredith looked at Laia with a grin and they ran for Rampage.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Meredith said, putting a quarter in and starting the game. “It’s just so weird to be here, doing this at all, and you’re here.”

“Wanna hear something crazier?” Laia said, glancing at her with a smile. “I’m moving back. I’m not just here for a visit. And also.” She turned and held out her left hand, showing off a beautiful engagement ring.

“What?!” Meredith said, completely forgetting about the game. “When? And who?” She held Laia’s hand and exclaimed over the beauty of it. Looking in her eyes, Laia smiled and looked over toward Kelly and Derek.

“Derek? What?” Meredith said, her eyes huge. “How in the world?”

“Well, he came over to Spain for work for a few weeks and I thought I’d show him around and we could hang out. It was fun and we had good chemistry, but then he left. He called every day and then he was back for a couple of more weeks and we …” Laia said, her cheeks reddening. “Anyway, we started hanging out more. I traveled for work and met him in Italy and Greece, and it was amazing. Mer, I love him so much.” Meredith grinned as she wiped her eyes and then hugged Laia. The woman who felt she would never find the love she deserved, was going to marry the man who thought he would never settle down, it was perfect.

“FUCK FEDERMAN!” someone yelled and they broke apart. They all answered in kind and Laia and Meredith laughed.

“I’m so happy for you Laia, but it won’t stop me from kicking your ass at this game,” Meredith said, putting in another quarter as the last game had ended.

“Oh, it’s on,” Laia said, grabbing the joysticks and getting ready to rampage the city.

Two hours later, after numerous FUCK FEDERMAN’s were shouted, everyone was out of quarters and heading to the prize counter. Meredith’s pockets were bulging and she was feeling emotional about her last prize pick as she again remembered her first.

Jeremy sidled up next to her and slid his arm around her waist, kissing her temple. She put her head on his shoulder and sighed. “This has been a great night, honey. Thank you for arranging all of this and getting everyone here.” She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. “Happy anniversary.”

“Mmmm,” he said, with a smile, gesturing with his chin. “It’s your turn.” She smiled and turned around, stepping up to empty her pockets and see what she could get.

“You have eighty tickets,” the bored worker said with a sigh.

“Okay, let’s see what I can get,” Meredith said with a look around.

“Add these to it,” Jeremy said, putting his tickets down and looking at her with a small smile.

“One hundred and thirty,” the guy sighed again.

“I’ll take the rainbow heart spinny thing,” she said, pointing to the prize hanging from the ceiling.

“Nah,” Jeremy said, stopping the guy. “The photo box would be better. Get that one.” He pointed at it. Pink and fuzzy, she shook her head, but he was insistent. The worker took it down and handed it to her.

It was a four sided photo holder that spun around and was very pink and fuzzy. She shook her head and he nodded. “Open it,” he said, smiling at her. She looked at him and he nodded again.

Opening it, she found an envelope and underneath it, a triple scoop rainbow colored ice cream cone shaped jewelry box. She smiled as she picked it up and took it out of the box. Lifting it open, she found a single diamond necklace on a silver chain. She gasped as she looked at him.

“Happy anniversary,” he said quietly, taking it from her and putting it around her neck. “You make it look beautiful.” He kissed her and she smiled as he pulled back, thanking him before looking down at the envelope. She picked it up and opened it.

“Tickets to see Cher in Vegas?! Jeremy!” She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He laughed and spun her around, before humming Walking in Memphis in her ear. She laughed and he set her down, kissing her again.

“I love you, Mer. So much,” he said, cupping her cheek and staring in her eyes.

“I know,” she said cheekily, her eyes full of laughter and love. He laughed and grabbed her hand, scooping up the items and putting them back in the photo box, before walking to the room where they would watch the movie.

Sitting down, she looked at the tickets again and smiled. She touched her necklace and shook her head; such a sweet man she had married. He was setting up the movie, in discussion with Mike. Meredith looked around and her heart was happy. Seeing all the couples and friends ready to watch a movie they all loved to hate, she had to laugh.

A bowl of popcorn and a beer was handed to her and the lights went down. Everyone cheered and clapped as the credits began. Groans, boos, and popcorn was thrown when they saw Wayne Federman’s name on the screen. For the next hour and a half they said the lines with the characters, laughed at the ridiculousness, questioned the story line, and groaned at the kissing in the coffin.

“No way she was in love with Skinner,” Tiffany yelled out. “Not our Scully. That woman only had eyes for Mulder.”

“Hell yes! And who could blame her, he was hot hot hot.” Kelly answered and everyone laughed.

“She was hot too, damn hot,” Mike said. “But yeah, no way any other man stood a chance. They got it so wrong.” Everyone nodded and soon the movie was over, popcorn thrown and boo’s heard again when Federman’s name was shown.

They cleaned up the mess they had made and then walked back into the main arcade room. Derek asked the worker if he could take a picture of them. He sighed and agreed, waiting for them to arrange themselves. A few different poses, and Derek was taking his phone back, sending everyone the photos. They laughed when they looked at them and with sighs of their own, they said goodbye to the arcade.

Walking out the doors, Meredith took a few pictures of the arcade sign and the building itself before putting her phone away. “Ice cream!” someone shouted and they all laughed, heading for the ice cream stand.

Mike ordered swirl cones for everyone and soon they were at two tables, laughing and eating their treats together. Jessica was rubbing her belly and exclaiming how much the baby girl was kicking. That started a conversation about pregnancy and the guys tuned them out, instead discussing football and then Game of Thrones.

Jeremy stood up as they were finishing and cleared his throat. “I just wanted to say again how much I appreciate everyone taking the time to be here tonight. Having the past, but especially the night we all spent here be what kept us together, well, I don’t think we could have asked for a better time.” Wolf whistles and cheers erupted as he sat down.

A few minutes later, they all stood and tossed their dirty napkins before standing in a huddle, smiling at one another. They all nodded and shouted one last time “Fuck Federman!” and then began to say their goodbyes. Hugs and kisses were given and plans were made to get together soon. Meredith watched everyone walking away, especially Derek and Laia. She saw the way he looked at her and she was so happy they reconnected and were now engaged. Life truly worked in interesting ways.

Jeremy took her hand and laced their fingers together. Smiling at her, they began to walk down the pier toward the car, the photo box held in his other hand. She sighed and stopped him, taking her phone from her pocket. Finding what she was looking for, she turned on their Cher song, and Jeremy smiled at her. He set the photo box down and she put her phone in her pocket.

Pulling her close, they held each other as they swayed slowly to the song they first danced to so long ago. “Thank you for tonight, it was a wonderful Double F Day,” she said quietly.

“Hmm, it was,” he said, kissing her forehead.

“Do you ever wonder about them?” Meredith asked him, thinking of her past conversation with Scully and the way she and Mulder looked at one another.

“I have in the past, but they’ve definitely been on my mind more tonight. I wonder if they still work for the FBI, or are still together. I hope so. They were definitely very much in love, and no way was Skinner on her mind.” Jeremy said with a chuckle. Meredith laughed too and then sighed, an idea forming in her mind.

The song ended and he pulled back from her, smiling before kissing her. They both looked at the arcade one last time before he picked up the photo box and they headed for home.

______________________

The next morning, Meredith stood in the kitchen staring at the phone, wondering if this was an absolutely crazy idea. She felt nervous and sure this would be a waste of time, but also knew she would never have the courage to do it again if she did not do it right now. Taking a breath, she picked up the phone and dialed the number she had written down.

“Federal Bureau of Investigation,” a woman’s voice said.

“Uh … hello,” Meredith said, her mouth suddenly dry. “I uh … I was looking to locate an agent there, but uh … I’m not sure she, or he, is there anymore …” she trailed off now, convinced this was indeed a stupid idea.

“I can connect you, I just need a name, ma’am,” the woman said kindly.

“Um, Agent Scully? Or Agent Mulder? I don’t know if they still work there …”

“Hold please,” the woman interrupted.

Meredith’s heart was pounding as the phone rang in her ear. She had no idea what exactly she was going to say and she was very nervous. She began to pace the kitchen.

“This is Agent Mulder,” came a voice she had not heard in seventeen years. She smiled and inexplicably felt tears in her eyes. “Hello? Is anyone there?”

“Yes, hello. Agent Mulder. Sorry,” she said, wiping her eyes.

“Hello. Can I help you?” he asked her, his voice lowering a bit.

“Well, I was … I … you probably won’t remember me, but I met you a few years ago. It was in California, um … I was with a bunch of friends and we met you on the beach?” she said, hearing her voice go up and hating the way it sounded.

“We went to an arcade,” he said after a few seconds. “Yeah, I remember that, but I’m sorry I don’t remember your name.”

“Meredith,” she said, feeling sweaty all of a sudden.

“Meredith, right. and … it was Jeremy? The boy who was watching you as we got the ice creams?” he asked, amusement in his voice. She flushed even though it was silly to do so.

“Yes, Jeremy. We’re actually married now.”

“No shit?” he said with a laugh.

“Yeah. We’ve been together since that night, but married for the past nine years, and we have two little girls, Molly and Anna.” She knew she was rambling, but did not know how to stop it.

“That’s wonderful,” he said and then paused. “Is there something … did something happen to someone you know?”

“Oh no! No, nothing like that, Agent Mulder,” she said, feeling more flustered. “I just … this was a silly idea.”

“Nonsense. What’s going on, Meredith? And please, just Mulder is fine,” he said kindly.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Last night was our annual celebration of that night on the pier.”

“Annual celebration?”

“Yeah. So … all those years ago, we obviously didn’t know who you two were other than Mulder and Scully. We had no idea you were FBI agents. We knew your names and Federman’s, of course …”

“That fuckin’ guy …” he muttered, making Meredith laugh.

“Yes. Well, that was all we knew and about a month after that night, we went to see a movie called The Lazarus Bowl …”

“Nooooo, please tell me you didn’t,” he groaned and Meredith laughed again.

“We did and imagine our surprise when it was you, well not you, but … “ she said, remembering their collective faces of surprise. “We were stunned and ended up staying to see it again, to be sure of what we saw. We all shook our heads at the ridiculous plot, the love interest, and how you both were portrayed. It was a truly awful movie.”

“Tell me about it,” he grumbled. “I didn’t even stay for the whole thing. Please don’t tell me how it ends. I’ve lived without finding out all this time, I can continue on with not knowing.” Meredith laughed and she heard him do the same.

“That movie, and the night we shared with you and Agent Scully became something we celebrated every year. Jeremy started it for just him and I, but it quickly became a group activity. We got together to watch the movie, complain about it, drink, and have fun. Some of our friends still live close by, and others have moved away, but we remain close. We were good friends before, but that night on the pier, cemented us together. Eight of the twelve of us have found love within our little group. The three remaining ones have married others and one seems to be set on being a forever bachelor,” she said, once again feeling she was rambling.

“That’s great,” he said and was quiet again.

“I … like I said, last night was our celebration night, but this time it was a bit different. We went back to the arcade, all of us, for the first time since that night with you two. We met, caught up, and shouted Fuck Federman many times. He is definitely our villain,” Meredith said and she heard Mulder laugh again. “We also watched the movie for probably the hundredth time and … well the whole story is so ludicrous, and not the people we met that night, that we all just shook our heads at how wrong they got it.” She heard Mulder sigh as she stopped talking. A heavy sigh, that she knew carried a lot of weight.

“Yeah,” She heard him say quietly. “They got it very wrong.”

“I hope … I … my plan wasn’t to call and bother you, I hope I haven’t,” she said, feeling like she did exactly that with her words.

“No, you haven’t,” he said, his voice low. Both were quiet for a few seconds and then he spoke again. “That movie … it was not an accurate portrayal of the work Scully and I did while working for the FBI. It was mocked and made to seem schtick-y. I kind of expected it to be silly, but … it was embarrassing and not something I would have agreed to if I knew how it would be presented. Not just the … love story side of it, but the actual case that was investigated. I was … properly horrified by it and like I said, the ending will continue to be a mystery to me.” She laughed and heard him exhale, both of them quiet for a few moments.

“The arcade on the pier is being shut down,” she said quietly. “That’s why we met there last night, a final hurrah of sorts. It feels like we’re all losing a piece of us in a way, but last night helped to alleviate it a bit. We played games, had ice cream, danced, and it was like the past night, but … different. Time doesn’t stop, as much as we may want it to at times,” Meredith said wistfully.

“No. No it doesn’t,” he said with another sigh.

“My mother-in-law will be here soon with my daughters, but I just wanted … is Agent Scully there by any chance? I wanted to tell her something,” Meredith asked.

“No, I’m sorry,” Mulder said. “She isn’t here right now, but she should be back soon. She had to check on some lab work. I could have her return your call.”

“No, no. That’s okay. I … don’t want to be a bother.”

“Meredith, you wouldn’t be, trust me.”

“Thank you. I just … I was thinking last night as we were eating our ice creams, about the conversation Agent Scully and I had so long ago,” Meredith said with a smile. “Jeremy brought her her cone and then he brought me mine. Agent Scully seemed to think it meant he liked me and I was shocked, sure it was not the case.” She laughed and then sighed, remembering how her chest pounded in her ears.

“She’s very good at reading people,” Mulder said, and she could hear a smile in his voice.

“Yeah, she is,” Meredith agreed. “But it was how she knew, what she told me about her own experiences, that got to me and made me think differently than I had been. She said you both worked together, that you were partners, but above anything else, you were friends. You were the one person she wanted to see and speak to every day and even if you fought, you were still friends, still close. She said the things Jeremy had done that evening were his little ways to show me what he couldn’t say just yet. I was seeing it as him just doing what he’d always done, but she saw past it and made me think differently. I would’ve dismissed and denied it if she hadn’t spoken to me. I just wanted to thank her for her words and taking the time to speak to me.”

She fell silent remembering how she felt when Jeremy asked her to dance, how he looked in her eyes, and the way he quietly said her name as he pulled her closer, was enough to prove what Scully said to be true. Maybe it would have happened regardless, but Meredith was sure her words had been a catalyst, the push she needed to have what she wanted for so long.

“Thank you, Meredith,” Mulder said quietly. “Thank you for telling me. I appreciate the phone call and for the news from the past. I’m sorry to hear about the arcade, that was a fun night. You take care of yourself and your family. If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to call. I’ll pass your message along to Agent Scully, she will be happy to hear it. And Meredith, fuck Federman.” She could hear the smile in his voice again.

“Fuck Federman,” she echoed with a chuckle and he laughed with her.

“Goodbye, Meredith. Thank you for calling,” he said once more and hung up.

She stood with the phone to her ear for a few seconds longer before she heard the dial tone and placed the phone back on its base. She felt happy and also sad. Things did not remain the same and she wondered if the tone she heard in his sighs meant anything. Were they still together? Still befriending teenagers and dancing on piers? She hoped so, everyone deserved to have that kind of happiness in their lives.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts and she glanced at it. Her girls had their faces pressed the window next to the door, grinning at her. She smiled back, walking toward the door, but her mind was on a pier, the smell of the ocean in the air, and Jeremy’s arms around her.

________________

Almost 3,000 away, Mulder sat at his desk, his hand on the phone, but his mind elsewhere. He was remembering the feel of the sand between his toes, Scully’s hand in his, her smiles before she kissed him, and dancing on a pier. Even the thought of that goddamn rainbow haired troll doll brought up good memories. They had been so happy, no idea of what the future would hold in a short amount of time.

Abduction, pregnancy, his miraculous return in all sense of the word, the birth of their son, being forced away from them and in hiding, finding out about William’s adoption, their time on the run with danger lurking everywhere, and then their semblance of a normal life, settling down at the house. So much abnormalcy happened to them, while others lived regular lives: finding a mate, getting married, and adding to the population of the earth. All while he and Scully tried to fight the darkness and keep it from seeping in every corner. He sighed, knowing he had failed in that regard.

“Mulder. Did you hear me?” Scully’s voice cut into his thoughts.

“Scully? When did you get here?” he asked, realizing his hand was still on the phone. He moved it and locked his fingers together on the desk. How long had he been sitting there lost in his head?

“Well that answers my question,” she muttered as she set down the bags of food she had in her hands. “I decided to get lunch on my way back. I figured you hadn’t eaten yet, so I stopped at El Sol and got you a burrito and rice and beans. I was going to go for fajitas, but wasn’t sure how well those traveled.” She handed a container to him from the bag and he made no move to take them. “Mulder, are you okay?” She looked at him and he shook his head. “You’re not okay?” She set the food container down and stared at him.

“Mexican food,” he said, shaking his head again.

“Yeah,” she said, drawing out the word and staring at him. “You like El Sol, right?”

“It’s … I just had a phone call. It was Meredith, one of the teen girls we met on the beach after the movie premiere,” he said looking up at her. She furrowed her brow at him and then raised her eyebrows. “You remember her?”

“I do remember her. She was a cute girl and that boy ...”

“Jeremy.”

“Right, Jeremy. Whoa,” she sat down and stared at him. “Is she okay? How … how did she even know how to find you? We never said we were FBI agents. How did she know yo … no, please don’t tell me …” she groaned.

“Oh yeah, they saw it,” he said with a nod.

“It’s so embarrassing,” she whined, closing her eyes and making a face.

“Apparently, it’s like a cult classic with them, although, she said they like it for the terribleness of it, not because it’s good,” he explained, smiling slightly.

“Well, no shit. That movie was god awful. At least they have good taste,” she huffed and he laughed softly. “So, just out of the blue she called to chat? That seems kinda odd.”

He nodded, looking down at the food container on the desk. The aroma of it made him think of that night. Margaritas, shots of tequila, fajitas, and the taste of all of them mixing with the taste of Scully when she kissed him. He ached for the past, the ease at which he was able to love and touch her.

We’re here though, he thought, raising his eyes to look at her, the blue of her eyes pulling him in and steadying him, as they always did. We’re here together again. Friends and partners before all else.

“She said that the arcade is closing, the one we all went to,” he said and she sighed, sticking out her lip. “Yeah. And she said every year at this time they celebrate the day we were there, usually just watching the movie again and hanging out, but this year they went to the arcade. She said it was a fun night, but different than the past and that time doesn’t stop, even if we want it to.” He stared at her and she nodded, her eyes thoughtful.

“She wanted me to pass along a message to you, one of thanks. You told her that we worked together and were friends and partners above everything else,” he said, trying to stop his smile and failing. “She also said you told her, I was the one person you wanted to speak to and see every day.” He watched her swallow hard, look down, and then back at him.

“Still true,” she said softly, a small smile on her face. He smiled back and nodded.

“Well, she wanted to thank you for speaking to her and helping her to see that Jeremy, whom she’s been with since that night, and now married to for nine years with two daughters, was trying to get her attention,” he smiled and she grinned.

“Seventeen years? Married and two daughters? That’s wonderful. Good for them,” she said, her grin slowly fading as she looked down. He knew where her mind wandered and wanted to bring her back to happier thoughts.

“You had it so bad for me,” he said and her head snapped up. He winked at her and she shook her head.

“And you didn’t?” she asked, her eyebrow arching up. He shrugged and lifted his hands in the air, then opened his food container.

She reached for the bag of food and took out her salad, placing it on the desk. Taking out the utensils, she handed a set to him and half the stack of napkins. As he reached for them, she held tight, forcing him to look at her.

“I wouldn’t describe how I feel in the past tense,” she said quietly, holding his gaze. He tilted his head and slowly grinned. Her cheeks reddened and she let go of the items in her hand.

She kept her head down as she opened her container and stabbed hard at her salad. He cut his burrito in half, putting one portion on the lid of the container, and reached for her salad. Lifting it up and away from her, he scraped some of it onto his plate and then put half the burrito on her plate. Handing it back to her, he grinned as he began to stab at the salad.

She stared at him, but then picked up the burrito and took a bite. Chewing it, she smiled back at him, a bit of sour cream on the side of her lip. He was about to reach out and wipe it off, when she stuck out her tongue and slowly licked it away, her eyes on his the whole time. His breath caught and he remembered feeling the same way seventeen years ago, eating a meal similar to this one. She smiled at him, a small knowing smile, and took another bite.

He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath, and heard her humming. He opened his eyes and found her looking at a magazine on her lap, burrito in hand, and humming Walking in Memphis. She glanced at him briefly and then looked back down at the magazine.

The past was great, hell, it was amazing, but she was right, he would not continue thinking of them in the past tense. They were moving forward, at their own pace, and while the past was a part of it, the future was where he was looking.

Humming along with her, he took another bite of salad, grinning when she caught his eye, as the scent of the ocean, and all the memories it held, seemed to inexplicably and suddenly invade both their senses.

___________________

Notes:

Oh, this was fun to write. I love the thought of the kids being so affected by a specific night spent with our favorite agents, they would celebrate every year. How cool would that be? 😊

So as I mentioned, I wrote this as a continuation of the story for my fanfic anniversary date. I adore this story and I hope you enjoyed reading it. it just makes me feel happy and a bit weepy all at the same time.

#reunions #getting back together #fun and good times #friends #xf fanfic #the xfiles #msr fanfic #friends and partners always #cant live in the past have to keep moving forward

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atths--twice · 4 years ago

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Chapter twenty... here we go! I hope you all are enjoying this story!

Chapter Twenty

Christmas Calling

Another Christmas has come and is about to pass. Scully has decided it’s time to reach out to Mulder with more than a simple text or email.

December 2015

Scully sat on the couch at her mother’s house on Christmas evening listening to the laughter and music coming from every corner of the room. Dinner had been eaten and everyone was enjoying another beverage of their choice. Scully held a near empty glass of wine and smiled as she looked at the people gathered together that evening.

Bill and Tara were unable to make it again that year. Not wanting it to be a sad or quiet affair with it being Louise’s first Christmas alone, Maggie invited Louise, her two children, their spouses and children, and her brother Jack to share Christmas with them, to ensure that she was taken care of.

Louise’s children, Marcus and Annie, had been friends of Scully’s since high school. In fact, she was very much in love with Marcus when she was a senior. They dated briefly, and attended prom together senior year. The story she told the faux Mulder about that night, was still something the real one teased her about.

Annie and her now husband, Paul, had been there that night. Annie still harbored anger toward Sylvia and her stupid prom date for building such a huge campfire and embarrassing them all by the need to ride back on that pumper truck.

Marcus married a wonderful woman and their kids were adorable, especially the new baby. Scully held him many times during the day, staring into his big brown eyes. He smiled and cooed and she sighed behind her own happy smile. He was a good baby and she could not help but feel the sadness of missing William. She thought of him every day, but the holidays were the hardest.

Scully looked up to see Annie coming over and joining her on the couch. She looked at her and Scully smiled. “You doing all right, Dana?” she asked.

“I’m okay, yeah,” Scully replied, smiling still.

Annie was always the coolest person she knew. She never backed down from a problem. She always stood up for herself and was not afraid to speak her mind. Scully was tough and she would scrap with the best of them, but there was something about Annie that was different. She was simply Annie and no other description was needed.

She and Scully would sneak out at night when they were in high school, a bottle of Annie’s dad’s alcohol in the backseat of her car. It never mattered what kind of alcohol it was. It was sneaking out and sharing it that made it so memorable. Annie smoked sometimes on those sneak out nights, but Scully never did after that one time she snuck the cigarettes from her mother's purse. The taste had put her off of them forever.

One night, when they were both back from college for the holidays, Annie picked her up and they went driving around, free of the burden of school for a little while. Pulling into the deserted parking lot of a state park, Annie took out a joint and for the first time, Scully tried smoking pot.

They sat in Annie’s car and talked about everything and nothing, sharing the joint between them. They sat for hours giggling and then sitting on the hood of the car, staring at the stars and wondering about the universe. When Scully could be trusted to not dissolve into loud giggles, they headed back home.

Annie and Paul got married when she and Mulder had been working together for almost a year. It was a crazy wedding, with a story poor Paul never lived down, worse even than the dreaded pumper truck story. He passed out and needed a few minutes to recover before the wedding could proceed. Someone also brought a dog that bit the drummer. Scully helped see to his bite, which was superficial, and Annie walked up and handed her the bouquet, much to the abject horror of the other bridesmaids. Everyone still teased Paul mercilessly about that story and he just shrugged and smiled.

Annie was now a caterer, and she loved it. She offered to make the Christmas meal as a thank you to Maggie for hosting the day, and Maggie had eventually agreed, but with the firm knowledge that she would clean it all up. Scully knew that was not going to happen, and she had been right, not with all the younger hands available and willing to help.

“So you’re still enjoying your work at the hospital?” Annie asked and Scully nodded.

“It’s hard at times, but seeing a patient recover and flourish when they may not have without the help, is truly amazing,” Scully said quietly.

“That’s great. I always knew you would do amazing things with your life, Dana,” she smiled and Scully smiled back. “I heard about you and Mulder.” Annie said quietly.

“Ah, well that’s not surprising,” Scully sighed.

“I’m sorry you aren’t together anymore. Have you … been seeing anyone else?” Annie inquired and Scully laughed.

“Annie,” Scully said, shaking her head. “It’s … I … saying it’s complicated does not come close to describing our relationship. He’s … no. I’m not seeing anyone else. I honestly don’t think I could.” She sighed again and rubbed at her forehead.

“Are you two talking then? Trying to work things out?” Annie asked kindly.

“We text and email, but haven’t spoken in a while,” Scully said, and she decided tonight would be the night that ended. She would call him and extend the olive branch and see what happened.

“I’m really sorry, Dana. I wish there was something I could do to help you,” Annie said, squeezing her hand. “You wanna get stoned?” They both laughed loudly, and Scully squeezed her hand.

“Thank you for the offer, but not this time. I haven’t done that in many years, maybe since we did it last time,” Scully said, remembering when they had, in Annie’s first apartment, laughing and de-stressing from finals. “You know, you’re the only person I’ve ever done that with, to this day, both times. God, what a wild life I’ve lived huh?” She shook her head and laughed at herself.

“Well,” Annie laughed as she stood up and Scully joined her, walking into the kitchen to put her wine glass on the counter. “If you change your mind, make sure you let me know.” Scully smiled and nodded, pulling Annie in for a hug. She held her tightly and then stepped back. “I hope you and Mulder find your way back to each other. I really like him.”

“Me too,” Scully said quietly and Annie smiled, squeezing Scully’s hands. She sighed and they left the kitchen.

“I’m gonna get going, but it was wonderful to see you again, Annie. Your family is, as always, beautiful. Your food is delicious and you have done great things with your life as well,” Scully said with a smile.

“Stop, you’re gonna make me blush,” she said with a roll of her eyes and Scully snorted with laughter. “Go on, get out of here and call that handsome man and talk to him.” She gave Scully a look and she nodded.

“See you later, Annie.”

“Bye, Dana.”

Scully made the rounds and said goodbye to everyone, gathered up her gifts, and headed to her car. She put her bags in the backseat and got in, starting the car and letting it warm up. Taking out her phone and being sure the Bluetooth was connected, she set it in the holder. Her stomach turned nervously as she thought of actually speaking to him. It had been so long since she had and she missed the sound of his voice.

Driving away, she had a sudden crazy idea to drive over to the house and see him face-to-face. As fast as it came, the idea left her. She felt nervous enough with just a phone call, seeing him now …

She drove for a few minutes before getting the nerve to press the talk button on the steering wheel.

“Say a command.”

“Call Mulder,” she said, and took a deep breath.

“Calling Mulder, cell.” The phone began to ring and butterflies took up residence in her stomach. One, two, three, four rings and the voicemail recording came through the speakers.

“This is Fox Mulder, leave a message.”

She heard the beep and the words she was going to say got stuck in her throat. “Uhh … it’s me. I’m … leaving my mother’s and … I wanted to tell you Merry Christmas. Maybe you’re out ... I don’t … umm. Merry Christmas, Mulder,” she stammered and hung up. God, that was embarrassing.

“Jesus Christ,” she murmured to herself. “First time calling after so long and you garbled your way through like that? You fucked that up so badly.” She shook her head and felt like calling Annie and taking her up on her offer to get stoned, hopefully forgetting that phone call ever happened.

Silence filled the car as she drove the rest of the way home. What a stupid idea to call in the car anyway, she thought, shaking her head again. She should have waited until she got home, she only had about fifteen minutes to go. The rest of the drive home, she chastised herself for her stupidity.

Pulling into her parking space, she turned off the car and put her head on the steering wheel, still so embarrassed. She leaned back, put her head on the headrest, and her phone began to ring. Jumping at the sound, she looked down to find Mulder’s name on the screen. Her heart flipped as she reached to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Scully? It’s me,” he said quietly and tears sprang to her eyes.

“Yeah, hi. Did you … hear my message?” she asked, praying to all the saints that he had not heard it.

“Message? No, I uh, just saw that you called and …” He trailed off and she let out the breath she was holding, and sent up a prayer of thanks.

“Well, do me a favor and just … erase it when you get a chance. It’s … just erase it, okay?” she asked and heard his low laugh.

“That bad, huh?” He laughed, and she groaned.

They were both silent for a few seconds that felt much longer. She could hear him breathing, and she closed her eyes, missing him so much.

“So, you coming back from your mom’s?” he asked. “Your brother in town?” She smiled despite the tears in her eyes.

“Yes and no. Bill isn’t in the country this year, again. My mother invited her friend Louise and her family over instead,” she said as she wiped her eyes and leaned against the headrest again. “It was good to see them again.”

“Louise? It sounds familiar, have I met her?”

“Yeah, her children, Annie and Marcus, we went to high school together-”

“Oh, do you mean the Marcus? Pumper truck, Marcus?” he teased her, and she laughed softly, tears still in her eyes. “Did he wear his cummerbund?”

“Yes, and I’m wearing my moire taffeta dress. His wife really appreciated the walk down memory lane,” she said sarcastically causing him to laugh. “I regret ever telling you that story.”

“I think you mean re-telling me the story." Came his standard reply. “You know, since the first time you did, I didn’t hear it.” She sighed and waited, knowing there was one last thing he always said. “Because it wasn’t me you were talking to that night.”

“I never should have told you that was what we discussed,” she sighed again, but with a smile on her face. She heard him chuckle softly and she closed her eyes.

They were quiet again and though not uncomfortable, there was so much that remained unsaid. She knew what she wanted to ask him, but did not want him to think she was calling just to nag him.

“You there, Scully?” he asked quietly.

“I’m here,” she answered just as quietly. “How are you, Mulder?” She held her breath and waited, finally asking him what she really wanted to know.

“How am I?” he asked, his voice remaining low. “I’m … I’m okay, Scully. No reason to worry about me.”

“I do, though,” she said, barely above a whisper. He took a breath and she waited again.

“I’m doing all right, Scully. Better than … before. My therapy sessions have ended and … I’m doing well,” he told her. “I wouldn’t have believed at this time last year that I would have said any of those words, but it goes to show how much it has helped.” He laughed softly and she exhaled a short breath.

“Did she … are you still taking your medication?” Her apology for not worrying about the sexual side effects running through her mind. It was on the tip of her tongue to say it, but felt it was not the right time.

“Still taking my meds, Doc. Told you, no need to worry,” he said, and she could hear his smile.

“I’m glad to hear it, Mulder,” she said quietly and he hummed his response. Quiet again and this time she broke it. “Well, I just wanted to … check in, wish you a merry Christmas …”

“Yeah. Merry Christmas to you too, Scully,” he said quietly and she knew she needed to hang up before she burst into tears.

“I’m on the early shift tomorrow, so I should be calling it a night. I’ll talk to you soon?” she said, waiting anxiously for his answer.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “We’ll talk soon. Thanks for calling, Scully. Good night.” And he hung up, without waiting for her answering good night. She sighed and opened her eyes. Putting her phone in her bag, she took the keys from the ignition and began to gather up her things.

Her arms loaded with gifts, she headed to her door. She dropped everything in the entryway, took off her coat, and put her keys in the bowl. She picked up the bags and put them in her room to deal with tomorrow. Changing into her coziest pajamas, she brushed her teeth, washed her face, and got into bed.

Replaying their conversation in her mind, she tried to find any signs of anger or annoyance. Finding none, she thought of it from a different side and found nothing but acceptance and the possibility of moving forward. She would call again on New Year’s and maybe they could watch the ball drop together, like old times. Yet different, as they would not be together. Sighing with a smile at the possible thought, she turned over and fell asleep.

That New Year’s call never happened. She tried, repeatedly, but he did not answer, nor did he return her calls. She tried the next couple of days too, and still no response. Texts went unanswered, as did emails. Finally, a few lines were sent her way.

Doing okay, Doc. Don’t worry. Just needed some time to think about some things.

She tried not to worry, tried not to be furious with him and go back to her life and doing what she loved, but he set up his claim, as he had always done, and she sighed. She did that a lot in the next couple of days, until a nurse walked in and stopped her heart with a few simple words.

You have a phone call … He says his name is Walter Skinner. Assistant Director, FBI.

________________________________________

So... here we are at the beginnings of season ten. I am excited to finally be here, although I have enjoyed the journey to get where we are now. I truly hope you all are also enjoying the journey. Them broken up is not right and I did not like seeing them that way. This... this was my way to fix that.

#The X Files #XF Fanfic #X Files Novel #Angst #Worry #Holidays #Making contact #Beginning again

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