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aboutmikasa · 9 years ago

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The Ice Queen and the Wimpy kid

Pairing: Mikonnie [platonic] | Words: 4567 | Rating: K | Canonverse Prompt: by @marcobodtschickennuggets (This took me forever but I really hope you like it.)

Thank you so much @minxiebutt for everything!

Summary: Connie is having a hard time dealing with his mother’s condition. He’s trying to act normal but he needs to talk with someone and Eren is his best option. He wants Eren but finds Mikasa, the stoic and cold soldier. He will find comfort, change his mind about her, and maybe make bad jokes in the process —nothing fatal. Inspired by this headcanon

AO3

The Ice Queen and the Wimpy kid

The day was ending and the coldness of the earlier winter nights made him shiver. He wished he hadn’t forgotten his coat and grimaced when his hand brushed away a sweat drop. The smell nauseated him and he guessed his body stung or worse; if there was something worse than that stench. The steam over his head indicated his deepest thoughts, and Sasha should know better because as soon as she kneeled to take the manure bucket, a disgusting and sweating armpit rubbed her face.

“Do I stink?” He asked almost peeing himself as she contorted her face and gagged, pushing him away.

“I can help you,” she stated with a wicked smile and Connie didn’t see her hand taking the bucket with water and purring the content over his head.

“Yeah, as I thought you needed to take a bath,” the evilness in her face showed as she talked. The girl grabbed her stomach and laughed —almost rolling on the floor as she watched his stunned reaction and the comical movements of disbelief in his mouth.

“This is war, Braus!”

“I’m game, Springer,” she replied opening her arms and waving her head to welcome his challenge, preparing her next move while guessing what her best friend would do to avenge his wounded pride.

“You better have a good explanation for this,” a voice at their backs resounded like thunder over a pine tree; at least they reacted as if. The man didn’t even raise his voice but the authority he used made Connie gasped. The boy prayed Sina for a merciful death; any titan had this effect on him. But then again, titans told ghost stories about Levi Heichou.

“I’m waiting,” the commanding voice claimed, and both turned to face Levi.

The man extended his hand and Connie shut his eyes; if Shadis didn’t kill him, Levi wouldn’t hesitate. When the pain never came and the blood remained in his veins, he ventured to squint. Levi took a strand of hay from Connie’s jacket and frowned in disgust.

“This is disgusting,” he said and Connie almost smiled at his rightful guess, but refrained from it. He didn’t have a death wish. Their Captain walked a few steps and, glancing over his shoulder, spoke again. “If you idiots have time and such a powerful wish of serving, you’ll clean the stables until I consider they’re spotless. No dinner before that.”

“But,” Sasha started, with the saddest face in her repertoire.

Captain Levi stopped his steps and she froze. “You’re saying, Sasha?”

“Nothing, Sir,” she answered, correcting her posture and saluting to her officer in command like the most disciplined soldier.

Levi rolled his eyes.

Connie left out his breath in relief and made a mental note, they had to avoid being caught. That morning’s ruckus had them cleaning manure and now he punished them again. Connie’s muscles ached and his Captain’s face told him to be prepared for training and the real chastise.

His relief ended as soon as Levi called his name, “Connie, when you finish, go to Hanji’s office.”

And just like that, Levi left.

Levi’s words made his chest tighten and he thanked they still had a lot of work to do, so he could postpone his visit to Hanji. But Connie knew better; he couldn’t avoid the inevitable, just delayed it.

That night Commander Zoe spoke with him.

His conversation with Hanji left bitterness on his tongue. What else could his Commander say to him, anyway? What else besides bad news?

When Hanji dismissed him he went to the barracks and fell in his bunk bed, wishing to stop acting like a crying baby. Heavy tears ran through his face and his runny nose didn’t allow him to breathe. He wanted nothing except sleep. At least his physical extenuation granted him some rest. That night, Connie dreamed about the sunny days of his childhood and the loving laugh of his mother. He told her jokes and bad puns, and the woman —tired and busy— made time for him, snorting with his clever and childish behavior. His sadness lightened as the morning came —thanks to his dream— and he woke up as his usual self.

Captain Levi reserved extra laps for his squad and his ribcage held his heart and lungs as hostages. Connie swore to never play a prank in his life if the pain in his legs stopped. Then, Levi asked them to spar and as usual, he paired with Sasha. As usual too, their teammates avoided Mikasa. The girl defeated any opponent in minutes, but those minutes were a living and excruciating hell. Jean tricked poor and naive rookies, and a boy with a bowl cut took the bait. Connie watched an evil and scary grin in Levi’s face.

“I will. She’s just a girl,” were the poor bastard’s last words.

Mikasa didn’t defeat him in seconds; no, she didn’t spare him pain, giving him a long lesson of how to fight like a girl. Then, the guy landed on his back begging for mercy.

“Why don’t you spar with Mikasa, Jean?” Sasha asked, teasing him. “Are you afraid of her?”

“He’s scared of making a fool of himself,” Connie added.

“That shouldn’t be a problem; he’s always making a fool of himself,” Eren approached and was picking a fight, like any other day.

The raven-haired girl stood a few steps away from them, correcting Armin’s stance and offering him personalized training. She heard every word they said, or could hear, but said nothing. For years, they talked about Mikasa as if she wasn’t there, and she didn’t care, too focused on her own business.

“Stop slacking off!” Levi demanded and they moved as a reflex, searching for a partner. “I didn’t give you permission to organize a fucking tea party, did I?”

Captain Levi glared at them and the sadistic grin found a way to his face, again.

“Jean, spar with Mikasa. You can learn something more than messing with the rookies.”

After becoming an acquaintance with the floor, Jean surrendered to her dominance. The girl offered him her hand, before she went back to Armin, ignoring everyone else. Connie, with a sudden curiosity, stared at them. Mikasa worked hard and endured any training and demand, too cold and scary; though, observing her with Armin and her softness around him was kind of nice. Under her watch, Armin had improved his physical performance. After she finished explaining some technique to Armin, Levi sparred with her, as the only one capable of making her sweat. She lost. However, Levi explained to her and took time correcting her mistakes. She listened and nodded, her concentration was praiseworthy.

One day she would conquer. One day she would surpass Levi, and Levi was preparing her for said day.

Jean caught Connie off balance and taking advantage of his distraction, kicked his ass. For one second, while he tasted the unsavory flavor of dirt, Connie felt Mikasa’s eyes on him.

***

They were cleaning when the conversation he had the previous night with Commander Hanji hit him again. The most stupid reason triggered it.

Through the window, they saw Moblit grooming a horse. The possibilities were too good to let go.

“Awe, Moblit tries to make Jean pretty!” He mocked.

“Connie, don’t,” Sasha said, moving to his side. “That poor horse isn’t that ugly.”

“You’re hilarious, potato girl,” Jean rolled his eyes in a very offended way.

“Mama’s little boy is upset?”

Connie followed her led, teasing Jean as a habit; yet, the only thought in his head was his mother’s voice telling him being little was perfectly fine, every time kids made fun of his height.

You’re mama’s little boy. I couldn’t hug you if you were too big or tall, don’t you think?

A kiss on his forehead always followed, fading his worries.

The food had had a funny taste and he didn’t fight Sasha when she grabbed his bread; instead, he told jokes and made his friends laugh. The sound of laughing always lightened his heart, and he learned since he was a kid that nothing compared with a genuine smile. In their company, his anguish decreased; nonetheless, the weight in his heart demanded more. He didn’t know what “more” was. The only thing Connie figured out was that maybe, and just maybe, talking with someone would be a good idea. But who was that person who would offer him an ear? Who would understand something he didn’t quite understand?

Hanji was beyond nice the night before, explaining his mother’s situation in simple yet truthful words, but duties demanded her attention and their conversation ended too soon. Captain Levi intimidated him and Connie didn’t want to importune him, not when he had had a tiresome day. Even worse, it was a week on which Sasha and he annoyed Levi with their games and pranks; he owed his superior a moment of solace and a peaceful-ish time. There was Sasha, his best friend and the person who cared the most for him, but the brunette was beyond death, agonizing over an extenuating day and she said she wanted to sleep for two years in a row.

He missed Reiner.

His guts twisted at the inopportune and inappropriate thought. People shouldn’t miss traitors. His heart fought the idea and Connie remembered that Jean had scolded him over the same topic before. That was the reason he didn’t look for his friend; Jean had strong and quite harsh opinions about delicate matters. They shared too many things, but sentimentalism wasn’t his friend’s forte. And Jean’s mother was alive and fine; as fine as the mother of hardheaded Jean could be.

Connie needed someone able to understand what troubled him.

His first attempt was after lunch.

Eren experienced things Connie would never understand about titans, and the kid —irascible and reckless— had more heart than people conceded. When they had a moment, the three friends went to the garden behind the main building and he searched for the titan shifter there. When Connie arrived, the only person in the garden was Mikasa; the girl tended the flowers and Connie felt as if he was interrupting something personal and private. She asked him if she could help him and he only stared at her. Mikasa squinted, trying to understand his silence before he finally said he was looking for Eren and excused himself.

The second time, Sasha said Levi asked for Eren and Connie went to their Captain’s office. The only person in the place was, once again, Mikasa Ackerman. Mikasa explained to him that Eren was in a meeting with Hanji, Erwin, and Levi. Observing his weirdness, she asked him if he was okay and just like hours ago, Connie noticed her eyes on his —and the subtle frown on her face— when he said he was fine.

“Commander Smith is in the meeting?” Connie asked to distract her.

“Yes.”

“I think we can say he’s shouldering on.”

Mikasa tilted her head almost disapproving him, but said nothing. The scarf covered her mouth but Connie saw the glint of a smile in her eyes. He remembered the little he knew about her past, losing two sets of parents, becoming so strong and surviving despite everything. Connie wondered if she would listen to him and wanted to ask her if she had time to talk, but she seemed busy and he left.

The third time was the charm… kind of.

For the third time that day, Connie looked for Eren and for the third time he went to a place titan-shifter-less. For the third time that day he crossed his path with the stoic prodigy.

It was late in the afternoon, almost at sunset and for once Captain Levi didn’t punish him; so, without having to create mirrors from dirty floors, Connie found his way to the refectory where Eren should be cleaning the tables with his two other halves. Can someone have three halves? A regular person, no, yet the Shiganshina Trio is anything but regular; besides, shifters regenerate; so… Connie got lost in the train wreck of his wild thoughts about halves, smart blondes, and beautiful elite soldiers when entering the room, finding her.

The place seemed spotless and he assumed their Captain would be happy.

Mikasa was reading, sitting next to the window and the second before she fixed her inquisitive gaze on him, Connie saw something so close to sadness in her face. Something he could relate.

“Is Eren here?” His head moved, searching for the two other boys and craning out as much as his neck allowed him; as if the result would be different.

“No, he’s with Hanji,” Mikasa replied and stared at him, trying to understand the awkward behavior he had had the whole day. “Do you need something?”

“No,” was the simple answer he gave.

Mikasa abandoned the book in her lap and kept looking at him, waiting for a thorough response. Connie wanted to talk, but they had never really talked and he didn’t know what to say or how to initiate a conversation. Even so, he walked to where she was sitting but watched through the window.

“Connie? Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“He should be back soon if you want to wait for him,” Mikasa said and resumed her lecture. She didn’t ask him to stay, but she didn’t ask him to leave.

Connie realized his own silence and the awkwardness filling the room; he should go to the barracks and talk to Eren after dinner.

“No, I’ll go now. It’s not a big deal.” Despite his affirmation, he seated himself next to Mikasa. The girl seemed confused and her piercing eyes fixed on Connie again. For some reason —even if he noticed her expression— the guy didn’t realize what he did.

They remained in silence a few minutes before Connie sighed and realized he needed to speak. So he did.

“I miss my mom,” Connie muttered.

As soon as he spoke, Mikasa’s eyes softened with sympathy, and she nodded as a cue for him to keep talking. Perhaps it was all he needed to open up his heart; perhaps he wasn’t aware of his own actions.

“I know there’s like a million things I must think or do because we don’t have time, but I miss her. More than usual and I don’t know, Sasha and Jean tried their best but they don’t really understand. I don’t understand either. She’s very kind… my mom, I mean; she has a contagious laugh. When I was little she made me laugh all the time, not with dumb jokes as I do, she tickled me and laughed with me.”

Mikasa was speechless, and he looked at her, waiting for something —without asking; as if he just wanted to talk. Still, she had a little panic attack when tears came to his eyes.

“If you want I can call Eren or Armin,” she said, afraid of being unable to help him, or scare him as she usually did with her teammates.

They always said she was cold and obsessive and detached to anyone but Armin and Eren; to top it all off, her inability to express worsened their impressions. Right there, though, Connie observed her undeniable concern and smiled shyly.

“Yes, thank you,” Connie replied and she stood and almost walked away when he spoke again. “Hanji said it’s not a lost cause, you know, but I remember what Ymir said and the hollow in my chest gets worse.”

She sat back with the abrupt realization that maybe he wanted to talk to her.

The more Connie said, the more attention he got from her; the book she read, forgotten in her lap. And he told her about his family, town and treasured memories. He told her about Hanji’s explanations regarding his mother’s condition too. Connie was at ease conversing with her; Mikasa encouraged him and he opened to her, confessing his deepest fears.

“It’s okay to be sad,” she spoke with a gentle care, the one she had around Armin. “I miss my mom too, every day. Eren’s mom was sweet with me and she cared and told the same to me. It’s okay to be sad.”

“And you lost her too.” In Connie’s defense, he said that as a spoken thought.

“And I lost her too,” Mikasa whispered and closed her eyes, containing her emotions.

“Shit! I didn’t mean it,” the boy hurried his words and his hands fanned at Mikasa, doubting between stand up and bring her friends, slam his head over the door or hug her. Hugging her was out of the table, and Armin and Eren would kill him for making her sad.

Connie did the only thing he could.

“Death makes you think, don’t you? It sure happens to me.”

Mikasa looked at him puzzled and Connie waited for her reply. It wasn’t a new topic; the 104 trainees had a long history talking about death, fears and things like that. After Trost, whilst the Military Policy took Eren under surveillance, and with a vast number of friends engrossing the killed in action lists, no one spoke about anything else. He read in her expression she didn’t want to talk about death, but Mikasa seemed the kind of person who would endure an unwanted conversation if that helped the other one.

After a moment, she nodded and he resumed his words.

“What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?” She raised her eyebrow and frowned, discerning what he was saying. “I’m serious, Mikasa. Last week Captain Levi gave me one of those. I’m running low in halves.”

She opened her eyes in disbelief.

“Oh my goodness!” Her hands covered half of her face and she stared at him.

“Think about it, we know everyone dies. Not a big deal, and I'm starting to get used to the idea. I’m over the fear and I don’t care if I die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

“Connie!” Her face showed nothing close to sadness and he knew he could make her laugh a bit more.

“When someone close to you dies, you should be sad all the time, right? But, I’m not a mourning person. Does it mean I’m the worst friend ever?”

The muffled laugh coming from her provided him an incentive.

“Don’t laugh, Mikasa. I’m truly concerned.”

The girl looked at him, smiling. “I’m not laughing!”

“This is a serious issue. If something happens to me, you can’t cremate me, I’m lactose intolerant.”

For the first time, he heard her laugh, it wasn’t loud and she reminded him a kitten, but the prodigy dropped her stoicism for a moment.

“Of course, it doesn’t bother you. You’re already drop-dead gorgeous,” he finally said and this time, she gave him a playful punch in his arm.

He really had a soft spot for genuine smiles.

***

“How do you do that?”

A genuine curiosity popped up in her face but Connie didn’t understand.

“What?” The boy asked.

“You’re always laughing and making people feel better,” Mikasa said, staring at him. “You’ve made Eren smile after harsh missions, and…” she breathed loud, making a pause. “I don't’ know how you do that. In this world of us, in this cage, you and Sasha have a resilience I admire and envy.”

“No way!” He exclaimed a bit astonished with her words and giving her a playful and embarrassed punch in her arm. “You’re Mikasa Ackerman, the Mikasa Ackerman. You’re a prodigy, the girl who took down Annie Leonhardt; the unique soldier who excelled in everything. Dude, don’t joke with me.”

He kept saying with an increasing grin and she rolled her eyes at the long list of qualities he described. Mikasa kept silence and Connie kept talking, but it amused her.

“Get out of here! I’m nothing special,” Connie claimed. “I always got my ass in trouble and every mission scares me to death. You’ve seen me crying like a baby and I’m not a strong soldier. Sometimes, I swear to you, Captain Levi can make me pee myself. But, you! Man, you’re awesome.”

Mikasa grabbed his hand as the boy didn’t catch when she tried to speak.

“Connie,” the subtle way she asked for his attention shut his mouth. “Don’t talk little about yourself. If I’ve learned something, it is that muscles, speed and precision don’t make you strong. You’re dealing with your losses and your mom’s situation in a way I won’t ever be able.”

“But you’re dealing with your own issues.” He stared at her, worried to say more than he should.

“I shouldn’t be an example. You can tell, I’m no good with people and I know what you think of me. I’ve heard you,” she whispered the last part and guilty nested in his body.

“Do you know about the Ice Queen thingy?” She nodded; a wistful smile on her face. “I’m so sorry, Mikasa,” Connie apologized and bowed his head, ashamed.

“It’s okay. We know it’s not exactly a lie.”

Maybe she wasn’t ice, but with the elegance she moved and the way she dismissed the topic, forgiving him, the girl was a queen.

When he was a child, his mother told him to be careful with words as they can hurt more than kicks and punches, but at that time, he didn’t catch her full meaning. Connie wanted to make amends and he shared with Mikasa that story, too. Her mother told her something along those lines and they agreed it would be nice if his mother and hers would have met. Then, she told him about her childhood in the mountain, the dolls she played with, and her father’s soft smile. Listening to her stories, Connie realized she had nothing but sweet memories of her parents. They made everything to protect their daughter and she lived to honor their memory and protect her best friends.

Too much care for the detached and boring Mikasa he had guessed. How wrong of him and, somehow, Jean Kirschtein figured it out a long time ago.

***

“I’m so dumb,” Connie claimed.

“You’re not dumb.”

“I’m not you.”

“That’s good,” Mikasa paused as trying to conceal her thoughts and after seeing something that wasn’t in the room, she resumed her talking. “Also, neither I am I.”

Connie fixed his eyes on her and his mind echoed her words. Since the day he met her, under Shadis’ scrutiny, Mikasa Ackerman was nothing but an impressive soldier, a killing machine, unapproachable and focused only on her goals. For years, Connie believed —beyond doubts— this girl wouldn't ever care for whatever he would do or say. He thought about her as an Ice Queen, nicknaming her.

At night, in their training days, after curfew and with no lights, he and the boys chatted about girls. Jean talked about her as if he described the sun and the stars; his eyes and voice showing a profound fondness, but his bias was undeniable. Something similar happened with Armin and Eren. Eren hated when they talked about Mikasa, but remained in their circle; Armin smiled with the deepest care and asked to change the topic, telling them that they didn’t know her. They choose daily evidence and ignored him. All of them pointed her beauty and strength and made fun of her devotion towards Eren. She was something, not someone, not a person; let alone Mikasa.

Perhaps they never saw her.

She never let people became closer and Connie believed her coldness was just that. But since they worked as a team and belonged to Levi’s Squad, he had witnessed her caring. Her unapproachable aura stayed, though. So, as she kept silence after the “neither I am I” and he saw the pensive sadness in her eyes, Connie wondered what else he ignored about Mikasa Ackerman. She wasn’t a killing machine or an Ice Queen. She was a girl standing on her feet in a world that wanted to take her down and destroy the little she had. The Mikasa Ackerman they talked about wasn’t the girl at his side —that was an idea— and he understood he didn’t try to be her friend before. In spite of his comments, she listened to him and comforted him.

Sasha was Mikasa’s friend and they couldn’t be more different. Maybe, and just maybe, he could be her friend too.

“Yeah,” Connie said as the only thing his mind articulated. Nothing else made sense to him. She turned her face and her eyes read him before nodding.

The shy smile on her lips made a funny thing in his stomach. Connie didn’t have a word to describe her in that moment, neither he was sure if he understood her. What Connie knew was the growing empathy he had, and the remarkable improvement in his mood after conversing with her.

He smiled back at her.

“You didn’t say I’m not weak,” he winked as he spoke and Mikasa laughed. “I’m gonna give ya a second chance.”

“You’re not weak. The 8th ranked trainee can’t be a wimpy kid.”

“I didn’t say wimpy,” he retorted, pouting.

“Neither, you said, baldie,” she winked and those big eyes of hers brightened with a new teasing grin.

“Not everyone can have shiny and perfect black hair.”

“Do you want it?” Mikasa took a lock between her fingers and squinted in concentration.

“I’ll look gorgeous but Jean would drool all over me; so, I'm gonna to have to pass.”

“You’re evil for a shorty.”

“Have you met Captain Levi?”

Her chuckle made him smile and damn, his tummy kept making funny things.

“And you’re growing, right?”

“Damn, right!” Who would tell him, talking with Mikasa Ackerman and laughing with her would be so easy? “Keep talking, Ice Queen.”

***

The morning training was a living nightmare as some of them arrived late. The only person fresh and calm was her.

Mikasa followed Levi’s instructions at ease while the others were dying a painful death. With the sun at her back, her silky hair glowed and Jean stared at her, losing his concentration. His distraction allowed Connie to make a move, taking his taller friend down and claiming victory as if an audience clapped his bravery. Levi rolled his eyes but didn’t reprimand him. Connie bowed to his cheering friends and imaginary spectators when a soft chuckle claimed his entire attention.

Mikasa laughed and half brigade stood, dropping their jaws at her actions.

She even congratulated him in half voice, “Good job, Connie”.

“Thank you,” he muttered with pride.

Eren and Jean looked at him, then at Mikasa, then at him… repeating their synchronized movement several times. Disbelief filled their eyes and before they demanded an explanation, Levi sent them to take a shower.

“Connie?” A voice behind him asked. “Are you feeling better?”

He turned to see the face of the stoic, calm, and taller girl, answering her question, “Yes, much better now.”

“I’m glad. If you need to talk anytime, just, you know.” The soft, beautiful and uncommon smile in her face dumbfounded their friends. “I enjoyed our conversations.”

“Me too,” he scratched the back of his head and she waved a goodbye. “Thank you, Mikasa.”

Mikasa left, and he listened when a girl asked her why she was talking with him.

“Why wouldn’t I? He’s my friend,” was her reply and a new wave of pride flooded him.

#mikasa ackerman #connie springer #mikonnie #marcobodtschickennuggets #ttgsama fics #mikonnie fanfic #f: the ice queen and the wimpy kid #friendship fics #bonus points if you find the easter eggs

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