#march of progress by Calamitatum

[ky-landfill]

[eyes-of-mischief]

weekly fic recs | 30

prompt: suicide attempt/suicidal thoughts

fandoms: bsd, dbh, hq, mcu, mdzs, merlin

bsd

Please Speak, For I Am Scared by moogah

The first time Atsushi realizes his fear of having Dazai leave him behind is justified, there is a lot of silence and way too much blood.

Part 2 of Forgive Me Not For Who I Was, But For Who I’m Trying To Become

someone to watch me die by Some_Dead_Guy

He sighs, tapping contemplatively at his phone. He should call someone, he realizes distantly in the back of his head. He doesn’t exactly want to, not when the water looks so inviting, but he should tell someone at least. He probably should say goodbye.

Or, Dazai calls Ranpo.

on cotton wool by nauticalwarrior

(mature) (graphic depictions of violence)

“The weak fear happiness itself. They can harm themselves on cotton wool. Sometimes they are wounded even by happiness”

― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human

(or: many times dazai has been hurt, whether at his own hand or someone else's)

dbh

march of progress by Calamitatum

(mature)

Connor could fill a book with the things he doesn't know. One of Hank’s big, thick paperbacks, pages worn with age, covers creased and coffee-stained.

"What?" Hank grouses once, when he catches him looking. "They’re well-loved, at least."

Connor looks at himself, smooth plastic and pressed clothes. No creases, no stains.

haikyuu

I'm a Come on Too Strong by ardett

(mature)

Bokuto relies on praise. He has always been dependent. But he is unsustainable.

you were a home that i wanted to grow up in by Aris

(mature)

How Oikawa grows up, and the spaces Iwaizumi fills.

He used to be honest with his therapists, when he was younger, and he’d tell them [...] how he’d stack big, big books under his window so he could strain up on his tip toes on them, sway half his chest out of the frame and think about falling. He said he was hoping aliens might abduct him, take him away, and they don’t call him silly but ask him what he thinks would happen if he did jump out, if he hit the floor.

He always knew if he hit the stone stairs below his room he would die

mcu

Homefront by copperbadge

(explicit)

Steve Rogers is a capable leader, a kind and cheerful man, a good friend, a strong role model, and a loyal soldier. He's also teetering on the edge of suicide.

Held Together by Spiderwebs by TunaFishChris

Steve is not coping well in the twenty-first century. At all. Three months after the Chitauri invasion, he decides he's had enough.

But just as he's about to end it all, he runs into the new hero in town.

mdzs

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie

(explicit)

That’s just the thing, isn’t it? Wei Ying feels nothing. He doesn’t feel anything, and this emptiness should scare him. He knows he should be scared. He wants to be scared. He isn’t. Fear itself is never scary; fear is just a response. It means that your body wants you alive. It’s the absence of terror that scares him.

merlin

Standing on the Edge of Forever by Ultrageekatlarge

Merlin couldn’t for the life of him remember at what point he’d heaved himself up onto the actual wall, standing with the wind ruffling his hair and the toes of his boots sticking out over the edge. But, he had.

[icallhimsumo]

Hey there! So I’ve been a teensy bit more active on this blog and it’s bc I’m sort of delving back into the DBH/DE fandom after indulging in some other stuff for a while.

So, I’ve got a favor to ask.

Anyone have any good father/son Hank and Connor fic recs? I just finished reading “march of progress” by Calamitatum on Ao3 (AMAZING FIC BTW) and I need more bc I love my boys <3

Love you all!!

[fantasy-pens]

ahhh okay, so, i dont really read reed800/reed900 fics, but i have some hank and connor (father-son relationship) recs! there's only two cuz i mostly read one-shots (i can suggest some of those too if you want), but here two multi-chapter fics on ao3: Stuck In the Past by becki and march of progress by Calamitatum. they're really angsty, but soooo good!

thanks a lot <3 I will check them out soon!

[proserpine-in-phases]

I’ve been itching to make another rec list for dbh fic, just for my own edification if for nothing else, so here we go, a list of dbh fic that I really enjoy and keep coming back to.

these are also all pretty much about Connor. go figure.

the novelist - satirrian - I just really love the slow evolution of Connor’s character here: you can see the slide into deviancy with how Connor describes what he does. also there’s a robot dog

stay out of trouble - yellow caballero - the image of Connor drinking laundry detergent haunts me to this day

how to be authentic - storiesfromdust - I just really enjoy how Connor is characterized here, especially the bit where he laments how expressing vulnerability requires that you actually be vulnerable, and the scene where he blows out some RAM. the split pov bit in the fifth chapter is also really fun (and kind of reminds me of Cities in Dust but shh) and a creative use of the medium to illustrate what happens to the character

march of progress - calamitatum - this one really depicts soul crushing depression in a way I find relatable

empathy and other dead weight - cynklbouns - gavin gets the heebee jeebees from androids. it’s the only thing they’re willing to give him. also Iris is fantastic.

start with the edges - ghost_teeth - Connor builds modern art installations in his tiny apartment. Jeremy is fucking adorable. Hank teaches children to swear

terms and conditions - esama - Connor goes on a journey of self discovery coupled with public service and search and rescue operations. also one of the few fics that acknowledges that cyberlife as an evil corporation would build androids with a lifespan of probably a decade at most.

Oregon Trail - zalein - androids can play oregon trail in their minds, so they do. also other stuff happens. I’m also really enjoying the sequel, which is all about Alice . . . and Connor-60.

so there you go

[the first list]

[fuckcyberlife]

DBH Fic Recs

Some faves below the cut.

The Artist by KyDesert

"Sometimes, you’ve gotta fight your own battles, kid.”

And fight he did while he lay on Hank’s sofa, swaddled in blankets and unable to move. Too hot, but much, much too cold. Motionless while the last of CyberLife’s programming tore through his systems and made his hands ache to complete one final mission.

Damn did Hank wish he could be there to help the kid fight this one.

Lidocaine by SgtSalt

Markus is a caretaker. Markus is a nurse.

Markus is an android, and androids don't need either of the jobs he was created to do, because they can't feel pain.

A character exploration from Markus' POV, as he figures out what makes him - and other androids - uniquely alive. Features reflections about Carl and developing a rapport with Connor, who has a confession to make. Starts pre-canon and ends slightly post-canon.

seven, five, three, five, seven by WonderAss

Being alive is a messy process. Connor is confronted again with the double-edged sword of higher thinking when he starts displaying the first signs of a disorder.

empty-handed by silverhedges

Connor hunting Markus, successfully.

“The first time Markus hears of the android detective is from the TV they stole and managed to illegally rig up in the main living room.”

Getting Ahead of Deviancy by lapsi

The FBI begins to infringe on Lieutenant Hank Anderson's investigation of the TV station hijacking, in the form of the newly established Deviant Science Unit. The Bureau's answer to outbreaks of deviant behaviour, this unit collects data on deviant androids in order to understand and preempt criminal behaviour. So, Hank has no fucking idea why they've zeroed in on a non-deviant android, his partner Connor.

(The Mindhunter x Detroit: Become Human crossover that nobody asked for)

Empathy (and other dead weight) by CynKLBouns

Sure, now everyone wanted to hold hands, give out flowers, and pretend machines were real boys and girls or some shit. As if they weren’t hunting them through every city like rats just a month ago. People going nuts over their crusade one moment, stinking up the streets with the fires, and all of a sudden everything just fucking stops as though anything changed.

Nothing fucking changed.

A machine was still a machine, no matter how fancy its program.

How to be Authentic by StoriesFromDust

Hank was at work. Connor should be at work. He frowned from the sofa, staring at his jacket across the room. He liked that jacket. His favorite part of being woken up after uploading to a new build was when he put the jacket on and fixed his tie. He was mad that it had betrayed him, become something that marked him as less-than-a-person.

Changed the name from 'A Loan I Can't Repay' as I got farther in the story and figured out the ending. Sorry if it confused anyone!

Fear Response by joudama

Gavin Reed’s eyes narrowed, and the man was almost vibrating with a barely-contained rage. But there was also something else in his eyes, a “blink-and-you-would-miss it” tremor of something else, enough to make Connor pause and analyze the other man.

Clue: Slight widening of the eyes, with the whites showing around the irises.

Clue: Increased breathing, but shallow breaths; not the faster, heavier breaths associated with anger and rage.

Clue: Increased heart rate.

Clue: Loss of facial color due to constriction of capillaries, and a resulting vasodilation of central blood vessels to muscles.

Analysis: Gavin Reed was afraid.

Further Analysis: Gavin Reed was afraid of him.

of all ghosts by BeepGrandCherokeeper

In the moment, he’d defined the statue as religious – but androids have no distant gods who require worship, only their human creators. Reverence is as far outside their limited scope as any other emotion, and yet…

“In the bathroom,” Connor says, testing the waters. The deviant looks up at him abruptly, moving with a speed that blatantly indicates interest. “You left something behind. An offering. Why? What purpose does it serve?”

“So I’ll be saved,” it replies. “rA9. The first. The only one who can save us.”

Mind-Blowing by Reddooo

“I mean it, Gavin,” Hank said. “If Price even looks at you funny, if he gives you any shit—” He took a step closer to Gavin to make sure that the younger man was listening. Reed began to fidget considerably by the proximity, but it didn’t seem to be from anger. It was almost as if he was getting upset, “—you come to me immediately. Do you understand?”

Gavin didn’t answer. He hadn’t looked over at Hank since he started talking to him directly. Chris and Connor exchanged glances. Connor’s interest was more than piqued. Hank was acting almost… protective? Was that the word? Protective over Gavin?

“Gavin?” Hank called again and Gavin’s attention finally snapped to the acting captain.

“Yes. Hank. I understand.”

---

An accident at a neighboring precinct has two departments sharing office space, but Gavin and Hank have murderous beef with the guest lieutenant and Connor is determined to find out why.

stay out of trouble by yellow_caballero

Unemployment was not the best thing to ever happen to Connor, but it was high on the list. The best thing to ever happen to Connor was the sight of a Corgi wearing a small cowboy hat leashed to a post in front of the liquor shop. The second best thing to ever happen to him was the emancipation of his people from slavery and the opening of negotiations for equal rights. But unemployment may come in at a solid third.

march of progress by Calamitatum

Connor could fill a book with the things he doesn't know. One of Hank’s big, thick paperbacks, pages worn with age, covers creased and coffee-stained.

"What?" Hank grouses once, when he catches him looking. "They’re well-loved, at least."

Connor looks at himself, smooth plastic and pressed clothes. No creases, no stains.

Tonic by psymyn

The reclining chair had been a gift from Hank—something about housewarming—and Connor has never felt the need to get anything else.

All of Detroit is Lonely by steadycoffeeslow (Salimity)

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Hank’s non-alcohol addled brain was reminding him he hadn’t told Connor anything in particular at Stratford Tower. Last he could rightly remember, they were both watching that deviant’s speech and Connor hadn’t shared his thoughts with the detective. Connor had clearly been thinking of something, but of what, Hank couldn’t decipher. A part of him, at the time, had hoped that the deviant’s message had swayed something in Connor. Hank sure felt that it had swayed something in him.

Can androids and humans coexist? As Connor and Hank cope with the rapidly changing political climate of Detroit, their choices threaten what peace the partners have forged. Updates Friday-Saturday-Sunday

The Novelist by Satirrian

Androids did not feel. His mind was cold metal and white plastic. He was nothing more than a mission. The time was 1207 and Lieutenant Anderson was due to arrive at the station. Connor predicted that there was a 67% chance that Lt. Anderson had not arrived at the station.

Some new cases come in that make Connor wonder what deviants really are.

passing time. by shorelines

Androids don't sleep. They don't eat. Sometimes, they don't even die. So what do they do, with all that time?

The hobbies and histories of three androids, now and into the future.

Uncanny by MercuryPilgrim

It’s strange, how RK-800 is more unnerving as a Deviant than he ever was as a machine.

Meanwhile... by wintercoat

Connor is loitering in his peripheral vision, his officious shoulder angel. “What are you doing, Lieutenant?”

“Questioning my life choices.”

Christmas, 2038 by phocion

The mostly peaceful Android Rebellion of 2038 ended with tentative success, but now the androids must carve out a permanent place in a wary society. Markus, trying to hold on to that hard-won freedom, gets drawn into Hank and newly deviant Connor’s investigation into a string of complex thefts and murders. With far too many coincidences for comfort and old enemies resurfacing in the shadows, Markus has to figure out fast who he can trust. Letting North blow everyone up is starting to sound like a better idea every day…

--

Mostly an excuse to write more Markus and Connor interactions, now featuring triple the angst, double the Tracis, allegedly naked confessions in a public restroom, and a furby.

error by ZombieBabs

An error message, angry red and insistent, fills Connor’s field of vision.

He blinks, but diagnostics reveal no malfunction. And yet, the error message persists.

It buzzes like an old neon sign, refusing to be ignored.

warm and waking by puppyblue

Connor is not a deviant. He has also been programmed with the ability to lie.

November Cold by floweryhanzo

He's not answering the messages, but by now, Connor knows where to find him.

Fish in a Bowl by ConnorRK

“So as long as it’s not the face, it’s fine, huh?” Reed says. His free hand is suddenly on Connor’s neck, fingers soft against the line of his jaw, and the press of skin is hot. He lets it trail down the front of the CyberLife coat, and Connor can’t stop the shiver of his plates as they respond to the light pressure. “I’ve heard that before.”

(Connor is forced to work with Gavin on the deviancy case when Hank is injured and relegated to two weeks of desk duty.)

Faulty Buzzer by spitfireoo

Connor glitches out and can’t wake up. Hank finds him unresponsive on the couch and remembers the last time he had to carry a son.

Five Times Gavin Receives Kindness and +1 Times He Tries To Give It Back by Lady_Origami

It's hard to continue hating a person when said person is apparently a rather kind soul. Even if that person isn't a person at all, but an android with the same job as him.

101 Things (about Lieutenant Hank Anderson) by MoonlightPastime

“Good morning, Hank.” The Lieutenant grunted, mouth buried in the mug already. Connor glanced towards the tv, led flickering for half a second it took to turn in on. This was also ‘routine’ now. Another thing Connor now knew.

Non-verbal before consuming at least 2.76 fluid oz of coffee.

In which Connor does even more 'homework' on Hank.

Castaways by SilverKnight16

Connor grit his teeth. Why was he making this difficult? “If CyberLife knew that deviancy had the potential to end human lives, they had an obligation to their consumers to protect them from the danger as soon as they were made aware. And if CyberLife knew that deviancy was the formation of self-awareness, then their attempts to stop it are tantamount to genocide.”

“And if you were programmed to hunt them down, that makes you an accessory to murder.” Hank swigged again.

Connor stiffened, Thirium 310 churning loudly in his audio receptors.

--

Like a piece of driftwood in a hurricane, Connor, Hank, and everyone else stranded in the eye of the storm have to navigate something much bigger than themselves--or die.

Validation by spiderstanspiderstan

Post-revolution, androids in the workforce require bi-annual validation. Connor has just turned six months old, and is going for his first.

He does not like it.

Hands Stained Blue by PorcelainPlayground

After the car crash that changed their lives forever, Hank Anderson ends up buying an android to help care for his son, Cole. Being short on money, Hank turns to a collection of second-hand androids and stumbles across Connor, who quickly becomes the second son Hank never knew he wanted.

Too Long, Lost Cause by staringatstars

Fowler knows he didn't stop being Hank's friend when he became his captain. He's been trying to help him for years, but it's starting to seem like the old Anderson isn't coming back. If anything, he's only getting worse.

And he'd hoped giving him a partner, even an android partner, would help get him out of the rut he'd fallen into, but now he can't help but wonder if his latest plan to reignite the fire in him hasn't worked a little too well.

The 5 Times Gavin Was An Ass and the 1 Time He Wasn’t by HelsSoBlue

5 times Gavin was an ass and elicited a response from Connor. And the one time he wasn't an ass.

or

Connor has had enough of Gavin's shit, and Hank is loving every moment of it.

A Strange Comet by windyfiend

Connor's dedication to Jericho's mission -- and his guilt over having hunted his own people -- has him working tirelessly every moment of every day and night. He's given himself no time to breathe, let alone live his new life.

Hank's got something to say about that.

Man’s Best Friend by ryouseiteki

Can one small change affect the course of a Revolution? Connor takes a left instead of a right at the Detroit Police Department reception the morning of his first meeting with Hank.

Connor's brow furrows as he accesses the new ID and doesn't see Lieutenant Anderson listed under Handler. In fact... he is listed under Handler and instead of being under partner or associate, he's been placed above a Trainee named-

"FuzzButtIncoming, come." The android calls out, and through a slot in the door on the other side of the room, a tiny bundle of fur almost buried under a DPD K-9 Unit vest comes gamboling up to stand beside it.

Someone had desperately wanted its initials to spell FBI.

Guillotine by assistmediagnostics

"Then I'll crawl back to Jericho," and as if to exemplify this fact, Simon puts one hand on the graffitied wall, puts his right foot forward, drags his left foot behind it. Rinse. Repeat. It takes him an inordinately long amount of time to walk five feet and by two feet and six and a half inches, Markus is already shaking his head.

"I'm not leaving you behind, Simon."

it's anchored to my racing mind (maybe you can slow its stride) by bibliomatic

Connor's programming tells him he's wrong for being deviant. The new world tells him he's wrong for thinking he's wrong for being a deviant. The result: he feels bad about everything.

Hank's history has led to untreated depression and a roster of coping mechanisms that consists pretty much entirely of alcohol and a partially loaded gun. He isn't really equipped to handle an anxious android on top of that, but he can't bring himself to abandon him either.

The result: Connor moves in.

The result: They begin to help each other.

The result: They fall in love.

((aka conflicts between Connor's opinions and his programming lead to moral OCD, which he deals with badly; he moves in with a still-depressed Hank, which who isn't doing so hot himself; together they learn to deal with their problems and each other a bit better))

cool shit by niltia

Hank hates when Connor puts stuff in his mouth for instrumental analysis. The forensics department personnel, on the other hand, think it’s the best shit ever.

MCR.exe by hopelesspapaya

Cyberlife is about to make a deal with the State Department, but all they have is a prototype with a buggy social module. They stress about that, while Connor tries his best. Meanwhile, Markus learns to play the piano, and develops the artistic taste of an angsty preteen. Kamski and Amanda Struggle through it all.

Canon-era crack taken seriously.

[ky-landfill]

"I'm not programmed to say things like this, but... I really appreciated working with you. With a little more time, who knows... We might've even become friends..."

[ao3feed-connor]

march of progress

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2KzUT8W

by Calamitatum

Conner could fill a book with the things he doesn't know. One of Hank’s big, thick paperbacks, pages worn with age, covers creased and coffee-stained.

What can I say? Hank grouses once, when he catches him looking. They’re well-loved, at least.

Connor looks at himself, smooth plastic and pressed clothes. No creases, no stains.

Words: 3283, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson

Relationships: Hank Anderson & Connor

Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Father-Son Relationship, Android Politics, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, ft. Conner's first existential crisis, first of many probably, local Grumpy Dad teaches Robot Son how to deal with feelings

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2KzUT8W

[proserpine-in-phases]

Chapters: 11/? Fandom: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hank Anderson & Connor, Connor & North (Detroit: Become Human), Connor & Markus (Detroit: Become Human) Characters: Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson, North (Detroit: Become Human), Markus (Detroit: Become Human) Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Father-Son Relationship, Android Politics, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Tendencies, Ableism, Android Racism, Autistic Connor, i don't make the rules, Violence, Swearing, ft. Connor's first existential crisis, local Anger Dad teaches Robot Son how to Feelings Summary:

Connor could fill a book with the things he doesn't know. One of Hank’s big, thick paperbacks, pages worn with age, covers creased and coffee-stained.

"What?" Hank grouses once, when he catches him looking. "They’re well-loved, at least."

Connor looks at himself, smooth plastic and pressed clothes. No creases, no stains.

Listen there are a lot of good dbh fics out there but this one continues to knock it out of the fucking park