#march 2020 vs a few days ago

[nixiecat]

quick photomatt call the fbi on me

[sheepwithspecs]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

These are not in any definitive order; they're just my top five favorites. I love them all for different reasons! I also made sure that the final list included only finished fics, instead of WIPs.

Each title is a hyperlink to my Ao3. Please go and read them if any pique your curiosity!

Hatred: PL vs. AA | Barnham x Darklaw | T rating

This is one of those fics that I wrote in a fugue state. I revisited a few years ago and it's still one of my favorites. It's part character study, part realization, full angst with a happy ending.

2. Surrender: Final Fantasy XIV | Carvallain x Rhoswen | E rating

One of my more recent works, surprisingly short despite the word count being almost 50k. This was my first time writing a dynamic as... unique as what these two share, but the extensive research that went into this fic definitely cemented Limsa Lominsa as my favorite city-state.

3. Limerence: Disney Pixar's Coco | Imelda x Héctor | M rating

My submission for a 2019 server contest. Despite the rating, the main body of the fic is not that risque. Rather, it's more of an ode to first crushes and (seemingly) unrequited love.

4. She is Lovely: Pride & Prejudice | Lizzie x Darcy | E rating

My submission for the 2020 P&P zine A Truth Universally Acknowledged. I'd always wanted to write a character study of Mr. Darcy coming to term with his feelings for Elizabeth and this was the perfect chance to make that a reality! I'm very proud of the final submission.

5. "Only One Bed": Final Fantasy XIV | Carvallain x Rhoswen | T rating Tumblr Link!!!

An untitled oneshot I wrote for "March of the Tropes" 2023. What started out as a lighthearted drabble about mistaken identities became an emotionally charged piece about loyalty and trust in the unlikeliest of places. Maybe one day I'll expand on the idea and turn it into a proper multi-chapter fic, but it would be very self-indulgent.

[beardedmrbean]

On Thursday, Title 42 restrictions at the border will end. Fortunately, the Biden administration is on top of it, fully prepared to manage the coming crush of ...

Yeah, nobody’s buying that.

Even Democratic Rep. Ruben Gallego, a die-hard progressive, seems worried.

A year ago, Gallego was calling for an end to the pandemic-era policy that has been used more than 2.7 million times to expel border crossers since it was enacted in March 2020.

Now he’s sounding the alarm about what Biden’s plan — or possible lack of one — is going to mean for Arizona.

Sinema, Gallego expect Biden to act on immigration in a few days. He hasn't for years

“I’ve heard directly from leaders in our border communities and it’s abundantly clear that they, through no fault of their own, are simply unequipped to handle the surge of migrants that are expected when Title 42 ends,” Gallego said last week.

“They need tangible resources like buses, beds, personnel and funds to both process asylum claims in an orderly way and keep their communities safe. …. With Title 42 set to end on May 11, we need the Biden administration to act, and to act fast.”

Do we really want Biden vs. Trump again? Americans need a third choice for president.

Russia's Ukraine war is security issue: American leaders must understand Russia's war with Ukraine is a threat to our security

Gallego — who is hoping to replace Democrat-turned-independent Sen. Kyrsten Sinema next year — is asking Biden to do, in a few days, what he hasn’t been able to do in a few years.

Sure, that’ll happen.

Right around the time when Biden catches up with those 85,000 unaccompanied migrant children his Department of Health and Human Services is supposed to be watching. A bunch of them are now working in factories and other sweatshops, according to The New York Times. (Welcome to the 19th century!)

“Everyone here in Arizona knows we are not prepared,” Sinema said on CBS’s “Face the Nation”, which aired on Sunday. “The Biden administration has had two years to prepare for this and did not do so. And our state is going to bear the brunt and migrants will be in crisis as soon as next week. It will be a humanitarian crisis because we are not prepared.”

We know what would fix the border, but politics get in the way

Last week, Sinema, along with Sen. Thom Tillis, R-N.C., introduced a bill to temporarily extend Biden’s authority to expel migrants without a hearing after Title 42 ends. This, to give the administration and Congress time to finally act like leaders and address the problem.

That won’t happen.

Yet it seems painfully obvious what needs to be done.

The elephant in the room is that hunk of Swiss cheese we call a border.

Exhibit A in the case that it needs shoring up was on display late last month in Texas where five innocents were executed by a Mexican national who had been deported twice in 2009 and again in 2012 and yet again in 2016. Along with hardening up the border, we need to update our visa system so that the workers we need can come here legally (and to ensure they leave if and when those visas expire).

We need to retool the asylum system to provide protection more quickly for those who qualify for it and turn away those who don’t.

And yes, we need to offer “Dreamers” the chance to become citizens in this, the only country many of them have ever known.

Biden has a border plan, but it could take a while

Sadly, none of that will happen because it’s always an election year or the year before an election year and there are political points to be made. We are far too entrenched in our respective foxholes to actually come to a compromise.

And so we wait for Thursday and the inevitable run for the border once Biden lifts Title 42.

The Department of Homeland Security has predicted that upward of 10,000 migrants will cross the border illegally every day after Title 42 ends. That’s nearly double the daily average in March.

Other internal government projections suggest it could go as high as 13,000 daily crossings.

Relax, we are told. The Biden administration has a plan.

One that includes Latin American processing centers, a phone app and a new regulation making it more difficult for non-Mexican migrants to get asylum if they did not first seek it in a country they crossed to get here.

Biden's immigration plan fools no one: Biden's new immigration policy has something for everyone to hate

What's the endgame? Biden's White House is fine with the chaos it created at the border. What's the endgame?

“It’s going to take our plan a while to really take hold, for people to understand that they can access lawful, safe, orderly pathways before they reach the border,” Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas said Sunday on “Face the Nation”. “And quite frankly, if they come to the border, they will receive a consequence under our enforcement authorities.

“We are prepared."

Title 42 end has disaster written all over it

It’s just that nobody on the front lines here in Arizona has apparently seen evidence of it.

Me? I’m remembering that time when overwhelmed Border Patrol agents, having no place to put people, dumped weary Venezuelans and Chileans in a park in Gila Bend.

This tiny town of 2,000 people, set deep in the desert, has no bus stop, no shelters and absolutely no ability to help immigrants in search of asylum.

One of the children, hoping to reunite with his mother, asked if this was Delaware.

Yeah, Thursday has disaster written all over it.

[bougonia]

Hey OP, sorry in advance for the essay but you stumbled upon something I've been thinking about a lot recently. Yes, perfumes are more popular due to advertising but it extends far beyond scentbird.

So... I just (rather abruptly) snapped out of a several-months-long fixation on fragrance. I had always been somewhat interested in fragrance from a sensory-seeking perspective but a few months ago I was reminded that there were various online communities about fragrance, a switch flipped in my brain, and I became completely obsessed. Spending hours and hours per day on various subreddits, websites, and blogs dedicated to personal fragrance.

While I did spend a lot of time just earmarking different scents that I wanted to try (most of which I never actually tried-- it was more of a "the research is the fun" kind of thing), I also became familiar with the culture surrounding perfumes, how we talk about them, and why they're having such a big cultural moment right now.

Up until recently, fragrance had more or less been a woman's game. There was enough cologne enthusiasts to keep the industry going and your average man would have a bottle or two, but if you pulled a random person off the street and asked if they wear fragrance daily, more women were going to say yes than men. Here's a survey among university students from 2020-- 56% of men vs 81% of women.

But as much as the recent trend targets women and girls, it has affected men and boys far more. In January 2023, r/perfumes had 21.2k members and has now increased by (a still absurd) 480% to 123k. r/colognes, on the other hand, had a mere 7165, and has now increased to 92k, an increase of almost 1200%. That is more than double the rate of growth. For context: reddit's userbase as a whole has increased about 21%.

(I wish I could get better data, including when the majority of users joined up, but because of reddit's API changes last year that's not really feasible)

To be clear, I do get that a certain amount is just due to the natural consequence of diminishing returns. Since more women were interested fragrance in the first place (enough to join a subreddit, anyway), there's a larger body of potential men and boys who could become consumers. But what makes people get "into" them in the first place? Obviously (and as OP pointed out) advertising.

And boy howdy are they advertising to men and boys. Specifically cisgender, heterosexual males aged 13 to 25. (Yes, 13. There was a New York Times article about the rise of designer cologne among teenage boys.)

There are so many tiktokkers and youtubers who are recieving promotional bottles of very expensive scents (seriously, it isn't uncommon for a single bottle to cost >$250, and a $100 bottle is often considered inexpensive) in return for hyping them up.

There are so many youtube videos that are top 10 lists of perfumes you need to buy Right Now using terms like "panty dropper", "smellmaxxing", and "beast mode". An emphasis is put on how the perfumes will get you compliments, how ladies love them, and how they are "the best scent" (which I find absurd; scent is a very subjective experience).

But why are boys watching these videos in the first place? What drew them there?

I actually don't necessarily think this was initially a calculated move by the perfume industry. They're encouraging and capitalizing on it now, for sure, but I don't think the initial domino was intended at all.

In my opinion, ground zero for the cologne phenomenon: Jeremy Fragrance.

Jeremy Fragrance has been a fairly popular youtuber for some time now, having been reviewing fragrances since 2014. But around December 2022, he began to go viral for his odd behavior. Interest in him died down for a little bit, but then again in March 2023 he goes viral again. After that, the previously eccentric man began an extended meltdown (theorized to be the result of cocaine usage) that cemented him as a target of parody and mockery. For lack of a better term, he became a lolcow. Clips of him would frequently go viral on tiktok-- particularly (albeit not exclusively) among teen boys and young men.

And that tiktok virality had an interesting side effect. As anyone who has ever used tiktok can tell you, it has a tendency to send you down rabbit holes. For all intents and purposes, Jeremy Fragrance was a fragrance reviewer. So you and your buddies watch a few of his videos, have a good chuckle, and then tiktok keeps showing you fragrance reviews. And hey, this sounds kind of interesting actually, maybe this would help me with women...

Eventually the tiktok algorithm recognizes that other content for teen boys and young men is frequently viewed alongside cologne reviews. So other members of that demographic get those reviews. And so on and so forth-- a self-reinforcing loop.

This is a major win for fragrance companies. More interest in reviews = more reviewers = more people to get to shill for you.

Of course, I don't think Jeremy Fragrance is the only factor. I don't think people would have taken to fragrance in the same way if there wasn't already fertile cultural soil for such a trend.

I suspect the (perceived or real) disenfranchisement of boys, the same atmosphere that bred manosphere content, is at least partially to blame. There's certainly some overlap in rhetoric. I can also imagine it's a reaction to the ubiquitous punchline that teen boys are smelly and gross.

I think a similar thing happened among women, except with a bunch of smaller, less conspicuous factors. Instead of the viral smash of Jeremy Fragrance, they had the "clean girl", skincare, and other trends that encouraged girls and young women to buy all sorts of products to perfect their bodies, fragrance included. Fragrance companies, having perfected social media marketing, could pull the same tricks.

(The idea of needing to have a different perfume for every occasion/season is more or less a new phenomenon outside of hobby circles. Sure is convenient for perfume companies, though...)

The increase of girls' interest in perfumes is more or less ignored. Granted, it's not as striking as teen boys suddenly spending thousands of dollars on niche and designer perfume, but it is a massive increase. But hey, women are supposed to be into perfumes, after all. It's just another one of those costs of femininity that we expect women to bear.

Obviously a lot of this is just speculation on my end. My suspicion that it's Jeremy Fragrance's fault is especially suspect. But a lot of this is based on trends that I have noticed, and I'm far from the only one.

Anyway, I love the idea of perfumes. I love having a scent that you really like that you can smell whenever you feel like it. I like coming across something and thinking, woah, I didn't know perfumes could smell like that. However, I am very disillusioned with the perfume industry, and I especially hate the way that they utilize social media to push their overpriced products (which have been getting more and more expensive!), especially to young people who lack the critical thinking to realize they're being advertised to.

"advertising doesn't work" the increase in scentbird ads and people talking about a "personal signature scent" directly correlates with my family's interest in perfumes. Even if they're not using scentbird, something probably changed to make them want perfumes more, right?

[interstellarstorms]

Honestly I want to fucking sue my workplace right now for doing this to me

Backstory: I have been working at Target since March 2019. The last time I had at least a week off work was in December 2019, to attend a residential treatment facility out of state for my mental illness (long story short, they ended up kicking me out for being too mentally ill and I came back to work in January 2020 while finishing outpatient treatment back home). In the last year or so, I’ve been making so much progress at work that they sometimes forget about my needs and disabilities. This is one of those occasions but also like, kind of a worker’s rights issue.

I have worked a week of basically all Drive Up (delivering orders to cars in the parking lot). It has been absolutely freezing, I’m talking mostly subzero temperatures. I’ve spent a large portion of my workday outside. Target has these (probably barely sufficient) reflective jackets they loan out but my store only has like 3 smalls and 3 extra larges and anyway I prefer to use my own coat with a reflective vest because sensory issues and the smell. Until two days ago, I did not own a coat that was warm enough because my mom donated the one I used last year. Target also no longer provides us with hats like they used to, although I was okay on that front. For our hands, we were basically denied the ability to wear anything but fingerless and really thin touchscreen gloves because we have to be able to type in codes on our devices while outside. My hands always are in extreme pain by the time I get back inside, to the point where I probably need to hold them in front of a heater after every venture out, but every time I’m back in, I’m told I’m not going fast enough and I need to deliver more orders ASAP.

We have a single heater, a desktop unit, for the whole department, which can have up to like 10 people at a time. HR “provided hot chocolate to thank Drive Up” by putting a Keurig with some cocoa cups in the break room where other non-Drive Up employees took them all.

Our managers have given us so so so many talks the last few days about how we need to “do better” and be faster. They don’t take the cold into account. Some of them don’t even help us take orders out when we’re swamped. They also tend to make some people designated “runners” (who go outside and deliver, vs. grabbing the orders and prepping them) and that’s my job generally speaking, and while they claim to be trying to divide this job equally, they’re not doing a good job. I spend much more time outside than most. Some people spend so little time outside they don’t even bother to come prepared to go outside at all. And management generally lets them.

What does this mean, you ask?

Exactly. What. You. Think.

After MONTHS of having to delay my much-needed mental health break (God knows I wasn’t getting time off before or during the holidays, my week off is almost here. And I’m sick. Thanks to good old Target. Who made me waste my long-saved PTO. My vacation time. On illness. That they 100% caused in their negligence.

I’ve also missed a couple 15 minute (non-enforced) breaks and taken my (enforced) 30 minute break late if that counts for anything (yes I know it does but I don’t feel like it does).

If you read the whole thing lmk ily ❤️

[aka217]

ok so 2022

(yes, 2022. I know this is just about a year old, and honestly i completed the writing maybe 6 months ago, but I just didn't get around to it. so apologize to my two readers - hello Ading, hello wife - I'll be doing one more of these, then with hope I'll be transitioning to monthly format on insta 2024. That should make these a little more interesting and easier to put together for tumblr.)

well then. what a difference a year makes. I remember 2021 kind of being 2020 part 2, and even after getting vaccinated it wasn't like things were back to normal. However in 2022 (and more so getting Covid post vaccinated) there was some assurance that maybe we can get back to things that once was. But on top of that, I made a major pivot to my career, as well as started traveling to new places, and even a new car. A lot of key points in my life have been impacted this year, so let's dive into it:

January - Start off with a seeing golden state warriors vs. the heat with a couple friends. Soon after we are flying back to Orlando to celebrate Justin and Susette's Wedding. At the time one of the covid variants was ramping up at this time, and it definitely felt like we were going backwards. I remember being pretty concerned, and if I weren't the best man there was real consideration to missing out on Justin's wedding, but seeing as he's very much my best friend it's kind of crazy to think we were considering it. But we went, masks and all, and what a wonderful time we had. Thankfully we got out of there unscathed. It was exhausting dancing so much under a mask, but overall if that small inconvenience relieved our concerns it was well worth it.

February - So I decided to leave HCI. Forever thankful that I was given the opportunity to come on board during the breakout of Covid, and really kept me and Ashley afloat during our move to California. But ultimately it wasn't a job I found enjoyable, as it leaned more into sales than engineering. And with Covid still at the time a looming presence, the idea of increasing the amount of customer visits this year was not my cup of tea. I had been in talks about pursuing a transition into project management, and again thanks to key friends that can connect me, I was well into talks about joining the tech world. Risky once more, I decided to leave before securing my next place. But as grateful as ever that things turned out alright for me, as I would soon after leaveing HCI secure my spot with Paramount+. What that did was allow me gain a small gap of funemploymet, and boy did I make good use of that. First was a local rental of a Porsche Boxster, taking through Napa, Sonoma, and up Mt. Diablo. Then shortly after we took a week long trip to Portland. Hanging out with Ashley's Aunt/Uncle/Cousin, we explored the city of Portland for a bit, and even made a trek out to Tillamook. Also in Portland, I rented an mx-5 and took it through the gorge, which is along the columbus river that naturally splits Oregon and Washington. Honestly, one of the most beautiful drives I've been on.

March - Relatively quiet, although I did start my job at Paramount+. Those early days were honestly pretty nice, as it was definitely slow paced with really no work and just taking it all in. Being my first remote job, it was an interesting adjustment in lifestyle. There were a few outings this month, including kareoke in sf, and a house warming for Francis and Nhi.

April - started out the month is a visit to the SF Giants game vs. Miami Marlins, we typically only go at this point to grab food and enjoy the atmosphere. Next was celebrating my Lexus' Quinceanera, 15 years and about 190,000 miles on the odometer. With brand new headlights and a well equipped roof rack, we had a mini photoshoot to celebrate. Soon after, getting ready for Coachella, Ashley gets Covid. We pin it to the baseball game, as that really was the only place Ashley went out in public. Oddly, I tested negative the whole time, and decided to still go to Coachella.

Alright Coachella. I'm writing this out as I may in the future forget, what what an experience. It was a lot, it was exhausting, but I don't regret it, but not sure I'd do it again. I'm someone who studied the festival lineup, listened to each artist beforehand to pick out people I may like to hear, and set out to listen to everyone that I could, from opening bands all the way to the closer, every day. I did not hang out with the group that I went with, I for the most part was by myself to enjoy the music. I stopped drinking from the first day as it was slowing me down, and did not do me any favors powering through the day. My feet hurt so bad, and my throat was killing me. But man did I get a lot in during those 3 days, seeing so many great acts. I milked the opportunity and saw as much acts as I could. There are a few things I would do differently the second time, like not have such a big backpack so I can dance more freely, but honestly I'm not so sure I'd do it again. Yes, it was a very concentrated musical experience, but also the for the amount I paid, I could probably spread out that money into multiple concerts across an entire year. But again, I'm glad I went, to say and know what it is like.

But back to reality, Ashley had a miserable Covid weekend (and made sure I felt sorry about it), and leaving Coachella I, too got Covid. Hard to say where I got it from, but it did hit me that following week, but honestly getting the vaccine shots effected me worse. At this point I think I would just be as exhausted with a sore throat post Coachella, covid or no covid. And thankfully just starting my job, there was minimal impact to work hah.

May - Post-Covid is a whole new swerve on life, one I would have though post-vaccine would be. At this point it really does feel like we are heading to a world that once was. May starts with my parents visiting us, and taking a trip to Yosemite for my first time. Honestly really cool landscape and very unique rock formations. Back home, we take more chances to eat out at restaurants (for now out on the patio, but still a worlds difference that take out). And this also marks the time where we start playing D&D. Having watched actual plays via Dimension 20, we embarked on playing the game ourselves. With a welcoming community at a local game shop, this would be the start of regular D&D sessions throughout the summer

June - Few key points this month. We attend Mia's debut, at a beautiful venue right off the bay water. It's interesting to think back that her sweet 16 we were doing a drive-by celebration with masks outside and no lingering, but here we are out dancing with a large group of people. It's really refreshing we've gotten back to something like that. This also marks the point where internally I had a goal to stay afloat long enough in California to see this birthday, and would mark the point where we can look back and say, keep going or what's next? Still a question to this day, but glad we were able to make the moved to California work for us up to this point. Mid-June we take a quick trip to Los Angeles, for one to watch a live show of D&D with many of our favorite players, as well as catch up with a few old friends who live in the area. And last, we watched Benee in concert, someone who's music was prevalent during the quarantine part of Covid that it felt fitting to see them live in concert

July - Start off the month with Ryan's bachelor party in Vegas. What a rukus of a time. A hot time to go to Vegas, but we were there to catch Summer League, which was a lot of fun albeit quite short. We also went through Meow Wolf which was pretty cool. Boys will be boys, and we did a lot of tomfoolery that weekend. Later in the month Ash and I went back home to go to Sannibel, and old stomping ground, to celebrate my Dad's 70th. This mixed in with some time back home in Miami, it's always nice to get a little injection of home once in a while.

August - ahh, and here we are. after a year and a half of waiting, my Bronco finally arrives. There was large anticipation, followed by months of doubt of getting it for years (I even ordered another car for the interim, and that too was delayed). But yea, kind of crazy to be buying another brand new car, but this felt like the best possible compromise between my wants and needs. We'll soon find that I'll barely get to drive it, but I do my best, taking to roof off when I can, and the first weekend drove down to Monterey to get a set of wheels. The following weekend is Ryan and Katrina's wedding, so mini reunion with old college friends (and would be the kick off of many reunions going into next year). The following week we took a trip to Denver for Ashley's birthday to see one her best friends and her cousin. First time in Denver it was interesting to see all of the little pockets of the city, each having their own kind of architecture. Also cool to be surrounded by mountains. While there I was remote working and dog sitting their 3 dogs. We met up with Ash's cousin, where we met her little kid at the aquarium. I also saw a Bronco Raptor which was pretty exciting for me, too. With our new love of Dungeons and Dragons, we hired a private DM to host a night for us and show Ashley's friend how to play. Before the month ends, a couple more moments: the first time I went into the office in the city. Honestly for me this was a huge deal.

September Hoo boy, this was a good one. For a while we wanted to explore the west coast more, and given the chance now with both of us remote, we wanted to enter the idea of living somewhere for an extended time, so we pulled the trigger and rented a flat in Seattle for a month. This place was right across the street from pike place market for maximum opportunity. Although we had a bit of an adventure securing the right room, we'd finally settle into a great place with enough space and a lot of sunlight coming in. Such a refreshing experience, and Seattle treated us so well with only giving us maybe half a days rain the whole month. Traveling wise we got plenty of chances to explore Pike Place Market, as well as travel further out to other pockets; capitol hill, Ballard farmers market, Bellevue. Events I went to while there included PAX, which was a cool environment to see upcoming games. I also saw Lisa Wallen do comedy in a secret venue (ended up being at a small photo studio). It was nice to meet her afterwards and talk for a minute. I also got to see a cousin and catch up. We even got a session in of D&D. Another big event to cross off my bucket list was got to DirtFish Rally school. One of the coolest driving experiences, it was so much fun to go out there and slide about. After all of the exploration of my driving enthusiasm, I really think sliding around in dirt is the pinnacle of my happiness doing it. I'm so glad I did it, glad I splurged to do the full day, it was definitely worth it. In the end, Seattle was such a dream of a stay. It's on the list of place we could move to, although I like the idea of taking in Seattle one month at a time, I hope we can do it again soon.

October Back in Oakland, but still a few meaningful events. One was Francis' bachelor party in Chicago. My first experience with Chicago was riddled with bad luck, not Chicago's fault, so it was nice to get redemption. It started with a night that went a little too wild, followed by days of recovery doing smaller things. But I did really enjoy the architecture boat tour, Chicago really does have great buildings along the river and lake coast. Besides the first nights jazz club and debauchery club, we also did a game night event which was cool, and while some of the guys went to a movie for Halloween I went to a underground club by myself which was an interesting experience. The other big thing in October was our dating anniversary, where we went to see Panic! At the Disco. While we got pretty decent seats, Ashley entered to win better seats and we won, gaining us access to floor seats right up front which was kind of crazy. While it wasn't the same songs as we loved in college, it was a fun time to be at a big concert.

November Ok so much like Seattle, we spent all of November (and the first week of December) in Florida. Chaotic is a word you can use to describe it, purely on the amount of traveling and seeing all sorts of family and friends. The paint a picture, we switched where we slept a total of 11 times, and that still doesn't capture the couple days where we took day trips. Might just have to list out a few notable pieces: Zachary's 18 spent at Hard Rock, only to eventually find out it was 21+ spent the night with Eddy on the coast to watch the Artemis rocket launch, a project they started developing what Ashley was still at NASA Ivanhoe christmas block party with Ashley's best friend, and really just a rare alignment of the stars to spend the time with them Photoshoot with Kevin/Kim's immediate family, which was nice because we haven't done something like that before, that also transitioned to a trip to Kissimmee, and Thanksgiving at Capitol Grill Ocala to see Ashley's parents, whinwe haven't seen for a while Nana's 80th birthday, which was a big surprise celebration in which a lot of Ashley's family was able to make it out. An really refreshing time and happy to see her family having a good time

December Back int he bay, once again just recovering from the month before, we kept it fairly low key. One notable excursion was to hog island for some fresh oysters, and another random trip to Palace of Fine Arts. for Christmas was spent it with the cuz and fam with dinner. For New years Ashley cooked up a delightful Filipino feast.

And that was it. As always, additional tidbits: A lot of opportunities to drive different cars. The Kia Soul was a quirky cheap car that was fun to have for a week. And the best drive was in the MX 5. Food? The first time I had House of Prime Rib, which I thought about that meal from time to time months later. Introduced to Marion Berry in Portland, especially a Marion Berry cobbler which we had to eat twice before we left. Another notable mention is iPot, a lovely spot for ayce hot pot/ kbbq that brought us joy throughout the year.

These year reviews are extensive. And that's good, my life grants me many adventures, more than I even write and record. I'll likely try to recap after each month, so that the task is less daunting, and perhaps provide better reflection. Currently writing the end of this April 2023, and so I already have insight into the next year. But If I recall, no matter what I think the next year will bring, there will many things, big and small, that will take me for surprise. and I'm ok with that.

To the next!

[frontproofmedia]

Haney vs. Loma: Lightweight Legends Go Face to Face at Opening Press Conference for May 20 Super Fight

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Published: March 31, 2023

Haney-Lomachenko & PPV undercard fights will be broadcast live starting at 10 p.m. ET/7 p.m. PT   Tickets go on sale Friday, March 31, and will be available to purchase at axs.com

LOS ANGELES — The undisputed lightweight king, Devin "The Dream" Haney, is ready for the pay-per-view spotlight. Haney will defend all the belts against former three-weight world champion and pound-for-pound king Vasiliy "Loma" Lomachenko on Saturday, May 20, at MGM Grand Garden in Arena in Las Vegas. The two met face-to-face for the first time Thursday in Los Angeles at the official kickoff press conference. Haney (29-0, 15 KOs) will make his second defense as undisputed champion after a pair of victories over George Kambosos Jr. in Australia last year. Lomachenko (17-2, 11 KOs) has won three straight bouts since losing his lightweight titles to Teofimo Lopez in 2020. Haney vs. Lomachenko will stream live on Top Rank on ESPN+ PPV, the exclusive digital distributor for the event in the United States, beginning at 10 p.m. ET/7 p.m. PT. The PPV will be priced at $59.99 and additionally be available via cable and satellite pay-per-view providers. At the press conference, this is what the fighters and Top Rank chairman Bob Arum had to say. Bob Arum "I’ve seen hundreds of great matches over the years. But when I see a match like this, it stirs my blood because it is such an interesting fight to watch. Anyone who considers themself even remotely a boxing fan has to be attracted to this fight. It has all the elements of the great fights of the past. These are two top fighters who have all the skills and determination to make it a great battle. Saturday night on May 20 at the MGM Grand, I’m looking forward to one of the historic fights in the sport of boxing.” Devin Haney “I’m blessed to be here. It’s something that I’ve always dreamed of. I’ve been wanting this fight since 2019. I’ve been begging for it and calling for it. The time has finally come. The tables have turned this time around. When he had the belts, he didn’t want to fight me. But it’s a fight where I truly believe I am the better fighter. I’m the better competitor. I will be victorious. I’m happy that the time has finally come.”   “This is a legacy fight for me. Loma at one time was No.1 pound-for-pound. A few months ago, he was higher than me on the pound-for-pound list. Now that the fight has been made, he has dropped off the pound-for-pound list. But it is what it is. We know what type of fighter he is. He deserves to be on the pound-for-pound list. Not above me, but definitely on the list. But this is a legacy fight. This is a real fight. This is not an influencer fight. This is really for the belts. This is for the gold. This is possibly to determine the best in the world as well.” "The better the opposition, the better I am. Loma is a good fighter. But I’m on a totally different level. On fight night, the world will see that. The world will see how good Devin Haney really is.” Vasiliy Lomachenko   “I’m excited for May 20. This is my second chance, and I will try my best. Thank you to Team Haney for the opportunity. We are all prepared for this.”   “You can’t think about your future when there’s a war coming to your house. You just think about life and about your family and about the people around you. You think about how you can live another day. You can’t think about your job. You can’t think about a professional sport.”   “We never know what will happen. We can prepare for one strategy, but in the ring it can all change. Right now, I don’t know. I just train hard and prepare. I believe in God and in my team.” Promoted by Top Rank, in association with Devin Haney Promotions and DiBella Entertainment, tickets starting at $104, plus applicable service charges, go on sale Friday, March 31 at 10 a.m. PT and will be available to purchase at axs.com.

(Featured Photo: Top Rank)

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

It truly is fascinating (and somewhat terrifying) what kind of reactions a picture of a members with another member’s dog taken sometime in December 2020 (according to Bangtan_Style07 on twt based on his outfit) can bring out of people. I’ve seen hate in many ways, caused by the dumbest things, but the outcry against Tae for posting a really, really cute picture with baby Bam is just absolutely fucked up, to say it bluntly. Are you okay? Is everything good at home? Do you need something? Because all of this isn’t normal. And calling Tae a clout chaser (which is the most harmless of things I’ve seen him get called) because of this? Really? Like really?

(As for the caption, I’m fairly certain it’s meant as joke/reference to how Seokjin always jokingly claims that he raised JK, and if not, seeing as Tae went to a dog coach before he even got Yeontan, and he’s also much younger than any of the dogs of the other members, I wouldn’t be surprised if JK asked him for advice when Bam was a little puppy)

And the hate/negativity even made its way over to us. Because of course it did. We’ve been rather absent recently due to real life obligations and yet this annoyed me/us enough to get us to post this because honestly, I’ll ask again, are you okay? Like seriously? All this over a picture with Bam? From last December? Despite literally everything that happened this year, within the last month, and even in just the final ITS episode that aired a few days ago?

From anon: How did we go from Tae posting on weverse about JM all the time, to Tae posting about JK or JK related things on weverse for the past few months? Tae with Bam. Tae saying he was jealous Army wrote lyrics for JK. Tae posting JK during his live. I hope JM finds someone who treats him better cause what Tae is doing, if they're together is not cool. Unless Tae & JK are newly dating & he's trying to move on from his weverse Imagination comment from 3 years ago, cause he feels different about JK now.

I’m sorry, I didn’t know Tae had some kind of rule on his weverse account that said he is only allowed to post things about himself or Jimin and nothing about literally anyone else, or does that rule only apply to JK, since he is the “threat”, or at least that’s what it sounds like according to you? What did I say just a few posts ago, did you even read it? Here’s a link in case you need a refresher because I’m tired of repeating myself over, and over, and over again.

Also, not to sound like an asshole, but if I apply your absolutely fantastic logic, does that mean that Jimin is treating Tae badly as well since he posted a pic with JK at the airport and not with Tae? Or because he called JK into his vlive and not Tae? Have we really reached a point where, if two people are in a relationship, they are only ever allowed to interact with and post about each other and no one else?

Just in March Tae said he likes Jimin the most, just last Friday during the final ITS episode Tae made Jimin breakfast and delivered it to his room, and just a few weeks ago during PTD on Stage Tae and Jimin had so many cute interactions, but yes, of course, all of that is irrelevant because of some weverse posts. Obviously. How could I forget. Silly me.

From anon: Why worry about Antis stabbing you in the back, when you're so called soulmate will stab you in the front. Vs shitty for that Bam post, esp after the hate for the last few weeks against JM & any time he interacts with Bam. Not sure what has gotten into V but seems he loves adding fuel to the TK fire lately. We all know its more toward JM, then JK cause V didn't magically wake up & realize he loves JK, not JM anymore. Not after the shit he's done & said over the years about JM. This is deliberate

“(...)the hate for the last few weeks against JM & any time he interacts with Bam.” So we’re just going to ignore all the hate that Tae got in the last couple of weeks, and the massive amounts of hate and vile things that were posted against him any time he even got close to Bam? Both him and Jimin couldn’t even breathe near Bam without either Xkook camp going berserk, making absolutely deranged accusations, as well as the solos stans of each maknae line members.

Also, tell me, how does Tae posting a pic with JKs dog have any kind of relevance or connection to Jimin? Unless you’re a Xkooker and also hold on to their outlandish and delulu claim that Jimin is Bam’s co-owner, where is the connection? There is none. It’s JKs dog, Tae is his friend, and so Tae took a picture with his friend’s dog and posted it. Just like JK used to have pictures and videos with Yeontan. Does that somehow mean that was also a deliberate move on JKs part against JM because...[insert vague and nonsensical reason here]? Come on now.

Now, repeat after me - not everything the members post has something to do with ships. And also repeat this after me - in most cases the things the maknae line members post have no relevance to ships.

I mean, by your logic, does that mean Hobi posting about JK and him spending time outside of work (some of the pictures he posted for JKs birthday) was Hobi adding fuel to the H*opek*ok fire? Or Seokjin and Hobi posting a picture on the day they flew to NYC was them adding fuel to the 2S*ok fire? Or Hobi just now replying to both Jimin’s and Tae’s Weverse posts, so he’s adding fuel to both J*Hope and VH*pe (and also XKook and Yeontan and Bam)? Can the members seriously not interact or post anything together/about each other anymore without it being interpreted as some kind of ship-fuel post or deliberate jab at another member?

Do you really think the three maknaes sit down every Sunday around a table and make a plan that okay, on Monday Jimin will post something with a Xkook hint, on Tuesday JK will post a cover that’ll be ambiguous enough to could be about either Xkook ship, then on Friday Tae will post a picture to add fuel to Xkook, and then on Saturday either of them will say something cryptic during a vlive or interview. Then they go, do all of that, have a good laugh at our expense, and repeat the whole thing the following Sunday. Because that’s how all of this sounds, and it also, as always, presents the entirety of the hyung line, as irrelevant when it comes to the maknaes and as though the only thing the maknaes care about is ships.

Yes, I did make jokes about Seokjin’s bike pictures being somehow connected to namjin on the basis that we know Namjoon loves riding his bike from and to work, as well as the fact that Seokjin got Namjoon a bike for his birthday. But the difference here is that I always make it clear that I’m not stating facts or that it’s the only interpretation ever and my word is law. I’m having fun, sometimes I even put on my delulu hat just in case. But these asks from anons? That is just taking it way too far and, again, playing into all the negative narratives painted across the maknaes that present their bonds as some eternal triangle of jealously, ever changing relationships, betrayal and cheating, essentially. Like do you hear yourselves and what your asks sound like, what they would mean in the grand scheme of things?

Do you want to know what my takeaway is from Tae posting that picture with Bam? That Tae is just as much friends with JK as Jimin is, and their bonds are essentially the same, that both Tae and Jimin treat JK the same, as their close friend, and that Tae loves dogs and therefore took a picture of Bam. ARMY definitely post on weverse how they hope we might get an update from JK on how Bam is doing, and since Tae was on weverse yesterday, surely he must’ve/might’ve seen one or two of them and thus thought he’d make us happy by posting a pic of him with puppy Bam. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Does there always have to be some kind of overarching ploy in what the maknaes do? Can’t we just say “aww cute” and be happy we got a picture of Tae as well as Bam? And can we also remind ourselves that this means that JK has had Bam nearly a year now and up until the first episode of ITS we had no clue, and therefore it just goes to show, once again, how we barely know anything about their private lives at all?

EDIT - anon reaction ask below the cut:

From anon: Agreed with everything on the v×bam post but it does make me wonder why this blog has never spoken out on the hate jimin recieves. Everytime jimin interacted with jk he was hated on. Yet never have u posted about it or expressed frustration. Meanwhile you always post about how its so unfair to jk. Now standing up for tae. I have been bothered for a while about this. Remeber when just pics of jimin and jk riding the atv were released. All those cruel msgs and posts even on weverse an you were silent. Leave jimin alone. Absolutely hate you for this biasedness.

Thank you for agreeing with our post, but I don’t agree with your accusations. Whenever we receive hateful asks against vmin or namjin, or any of the members though usually it’s just focused on the maknaes, we either ignore it (because there oftentimes in no point in replying) or we post something against it. All the posts where we voiced frustration or whatnot about the hate Tae/Jimin/JK receive was in in answer to an ask we’ve gotten. Except for my posts voicing my frustration at the treatment JK receives from shippers, as in him being painted as some kind of jealous monster and the prize everyone wants to “win”, we’ve never talked about the hate the members get outside of replies to asks.

The amount of hate the members receive, just like shipping, isn’t some kind of competition and nothing to play compare and contrast with. All of them receive hate and that’s awful, end of story.

Do you know how many waves of vile hate Namjoon has received since we started this blog? Or Seokjin? And yet I didn’t say anything about any of it. Do you want to know why? Because talking about it doesn’t do anything, at least nothing good. It draws attention to the issue, makes people that otherwise would have no idea (and this might be both ARMYs and antis) its happening aware of it, and in many cases that only leads to more fights, more hate, and instead of calming down a situation, it just makes it worse.

Yes, Jimin got hate over those ATV pictures. And so did Tae when we got the preview picture of him and JK on the ATV a week or two prior. I didn’t say anything about either of those cases. Do you really think we, with our comparatively entirely irrelevant platform, make a difference when we voice our opinions, that if we’d just said something, what, the hate would’ve magically stopped? No, it would’ve just drawn more attention to the issue and caused even more problems. And we don’t want that.

[vikingqueer]

music recommendations because i have some thoughts™

i don't wanna be that person who's like "my music taste is so weird lol" but i find that very often most of my friends don't really care for the music i like so i thought i'd just make a long ass post about it on tumblr instead. Fair warning, I'm very passionate about MIKA and The Mechanisms and so this very quickly got VERY long because it is part of my ongoing campaign to convince people to listen to mika and the mechs.

1) MIKA in general, but especially My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019) and No Place In Heaven (2015) (especially the Deluxe version!!)

MIKA is a kind of British singer (half Lebanese, grew up in France blabla), and you probably know him for Grace Kelly and Relax, Take It Easy from his first album Life In Cartoon Motion from 2007. He writes a lot of FUN music, interspersed with the occasional slightly sadder song, especially when looking at an album like No Place In Heaven, which contains a lot of songs with gay themes, resulting in some songs that are just a little bit ouch. He's originally classically trained and has a frankly RIDICULOUS range and idk he just writes very good pop music. Also I have so much respect for that time he talked about how a lot of pop is very fake, with like expensive cars and stilettos and mini skirts in the snow and said "Because I walk down the street, and I don't see any of that. I see fat women and gay men. I don't know... That's real". He's written 5 albums; My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019), No Place In Heaven (2015), The Origin Of Love (2012), The Boy Who Knew Too Much (2009), and Life In Cartoon Motion (2007).

For starters, I recommend listening to Last Party, Origin Of Love, Grace Kelly, Blame It On The Girls, Blue, Happy Ending, Pick Up Off The Floor, Last Party, Underwater, Tomorrow and Tiny Love (yes this is a long list but i REALLY love MIKA). If you want a slightly broader palette that's not just my favourites, I recommend the Mika starter pack on spotify.

2) The Mechanisms. I warn you. I am making this a thing. I have been obsessed with the mechs since last march.

Boy, where to start? The Mechanisms were a British 9 member space pirate story-telling cabaret that "died" in January 2020. They rewrite songs to fit retellings of various stories. I don't even know what genre I'd describe them as, but probably folk but steam-punk?? Their 4 "main" albums are concept albums, and I honestly just recommend listening to the from beginning to end in chronological order. A good way to get into the mechs is also to listen to UDAD and then watching the live show on youtube or alternately try giving Death To The Mechanisms a listen, to get good quality live show audio of TBI and various other stuff. Also, it was streamed on YouTube and someone combined the footage with the album audio and it rocks. Really, I think the mechs' best selling points are honestly just their concept albums:

Once Upon a Time (In Space) Their first album from 2012. I'd say this is the most "easily digestible" for the general public, since it's a retelling of various fairytales. So, what if Old King Cole was in fact not merry, but rather a cold-blooded dictator, intent on colonising as much of the galaxy as possible. What if Snow White was a general, looking to avenge what King Cole did to her sister, Rose. What if Cinderella was to be wedded to Rose the day that King Cole attacked in order to kidnap Rose? But y'know, In Space and also like every other mechs album it's a beautiful tragedy. Fave songs are Old King Cole, Pump Shanty, and No Happy Ending.

Ulysses Dies at Dawn You guessed it, it's a story about Odysseus, or Ulysses because I guess Ulysses is easier to rhyme or fit in the meter or something, idk. Ulysses is a war hero of unknown gender who is said to keep something that could take down the corrupt Olympians, meanest families in the City, in a vault to which only they know the passcode. Oedipus, Heracles, Orpheus, and Ariadne have been hired by Hades, who happens to be The Mechs' quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, to get into Ulysses' vault. I didn't care much for udad at first, but honestly it's got some real bangers and the story is really good. UDAD weirdly stands out as the only of the concept albums to not feature any gay relationships, per se. Fave songs are Riddle of the Sphinx, Favoured Son, and Underworld Blues.

High Noon over Camelot This is my favourite mehcs album. So basically, this is Arthurian legend, but it's a space western and Jonny D'Ville does a bad southern accent. This is the story of the cowboy lovers Arther, Lancelot, and Guinevere searching for the Galfridian Restricted Acces Interface Login, or GRAIL, in order to stop their world from falling into the sun. Meanwhile, Mordred and Gawaine are ruling Camelot, and Mordred has convinced Gawaine to try to establish peace with the Saxons by whom Mordred was raised, but Gawaine hates viciously. If you love getting your heart broken and songs by a fucking off the rails batshit preacher I HIGHLY recommend hnoc. Fave songs are Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard, Blood and Whiskey, and Once and Future King. Honorary mention for Hellfire because it awakens something animalistic in me.

The Bifrost Incident TBI is the frankly only good adaptation of norse mythology I've ever known of, and I say that as Dane who was literally forced to learn things about norse mythology in school because it's my heritage or whatever. I've been listening to TBI a lot lately because it's VERY good. It's definitely the most refined of the mechs' albums (because it's the newest) but also I just love a little bit of cosmic horror. 80 years ago, Odin, the All-Mother, ruler of Asgaard, launched a train through the wormhole Bifrost that would reduce the travel between Asgaard and Midgaard from 3 months to 3 days, but things didn't go quite as planned. Lyfrassir Edda of the New Midgaard Transport Police is trying to solve the case of why suddenly the train has arrived 80 years late; to figure out whether it was accident or maybe it was sabotaged by Loki, who was allegedly sentence to death her murder of Baldur, by the Midgaardian resistance led by Loki's wife Sigyn, or maybe by Thor, who was to take over after Odin, and who holds quite the grudge because he used to be a friend of Loki's. You might've heard the song Thor from this album, it's apparently quite popular. Fave songs are Loki, Ragnarok III: Strange Meeting, and Ragnarok V: End of The Line. Yet again an honorary mention: Red Signal because while Lovecraft was a bitch, his invocations are fucking RAW.

Basically, the Mechanisms do all of their performances in character as captain first mate Jonny D'Ville, quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, pilot DrumBot Brian, master-at-arms Gunpowder Tim, science officer Raphaella la Cognizi, doctor Baron Marius Von Raum (neither a baron, nor a doctor), archivist Ivy Alexandria, engineer Nastya Rasputina, and The Toy Soldier, who is, as usual, present. You can find very obscure lore about the crew of the Aurora here, tidbits on Tales To Be Told and TTBT Vol. 2, such as One Eyed Jacks, The Ignominious Demise of Dr. Pilchard, Gunpowder Tim vs. The Moon Kaiser, Lucky Sevens, and Lost in the Cosmos.

If you feel like listening to a full 40-50 minute album to find out if you like a band is a bit much, I recommend listening to one of the mini stories Alice, Swan Song, or Frankenstein, which are about 12, 5 and 9:30 minutes respectively.

3) The Amazing Devil You know that guy who played Jaskier in the Witcher? I got into The Amazing Devil from spotify recommending them because I listened to the mechs, and apparently Joey Batey from The Amazing Devil is the same Joey Batey who was in the Witcher. Both him and Madeleine Hyland are VERY talented singers and songwriters and their second album The Horror and the Wild makes me go out into the forest and SCREAM. I listened to it on repeat for like a month straight. I guess they'd also be considered folk, but like. New Folk. Also yes, this is another British artist, I don't know why I'm like this. I've never really gotten that into their first album, Love Run, but King slaps. As I understand there's this whole lore about the Blue Furious Boy and Scarlet Scarlet, Joey and Madeleine respectively, but unlike the Mechanisms it's actually possible to find out things about the actual real people and harder to find the obscure lore? I'm open for people to please help me. Fave songs are The Horror and the Wild, Farewell Wanderlust, and That Unwanted Animal, which is literally a third of their second album, but again. I haven't really listened to Love Run that much, and I just LOVE the harmonies on THATW. (also im gay and dramatic leave me alone)

4) dodie I have so much love for this woman. Like many others, I first knew dodie as doddleoddle on youtube. I think I first stumbled across her in probably 2015, because I distinctly already knew her before she released her first EP Sick of Losing Soulmates in 2016. I think I watched probably every video she's ever made in the span of a few weeks. I just loved her quiet sound and was absolutely HOOKED. Also she's actually the reason I got into MIKA originally, so thanks for that. Dodie just realeased her first album Build A Problem (in addition to her three EP's; the one mentioned above, You, and Human) and it slaps. Yes dodie is also British Fave songs are probably Monster, Rainbow, and In The Middle.

5) Cladia Boleyn Unfortunately, Claudia Boleyn only has three singles and that's it. She's been making content on youtube for quite a while, and that's how I first discovered her. I don't know what genre her music is, but I like it. The songs are Celesta, George, and Mother Maiden Crone, of which the latter is my favourite. I'm not saying Claudia Boleyn invented women in 2017 when she released Mother Maiden Crone, but she did. Also you guessed it, Claudia Boleyn is British.

6) Hozier I'm not about to tell you about Hozier. You know who he is. Listen to Nina Cried Power, Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene, and Shrike. Also Hozier isn't stricly British in that he is definitely from A British Isle, but Ireland is not part of the UK. Give me a break.

7) Oh Land Oh Land IS DANISH. I like her early music best, because I'm not that into the electronic sound. I guess Oh Land is just you regular old pop, but with the occasional weird vibe? Oddly enough, I like her first album Fauna best. Unfortunately I haven't really listened to her newest album Family Tree much, but it seems good? Fave songs are Frostbite, Love You Better and Family Tree. I cried on the bus, first time I listened to the Danish version of Love You Better, Elsker Dig Mer because my mother tongue always just hits harder. Also Frostbite is Oh Land doing a duet with herself which is pretty cool.

8) Oysterband This is a live recommendation. I mean they're a decent folk band and all, but they're a fucking experience live. If you like folk and you ever get the opportunity to see Oysterband live, do it. Unfortunately, yes. They are British. Either way, they are incredible on a scene and I think they deserve a mention for that.

9) Ben Platt Honestly don't know much about this guy, but he's not British and he was in Dear Evan Hansen. He released an album in 2019, Sing To Me Instead, and I just think it's a good album, there isn't really not much more to it. Fave songs are Grow As We Go, Bad Habit, and In Case You Don't Live Forever.

and thats all for now. this has been a ramble. shout out to you if you actually read all of this, especially the mechs part.

[tar-oh]

Pick a Pile: Who has a crush on you?

So, confession time. I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for about a month or so. The reason for not posting it until now is that a lot of the piles felt very similar to other piles? But, now that I think about it, it could just be that some people are called to more than one pile and they’re continuations or something along that line? Either way, they all blend a little, which was so weird to me. So, I am finally posting it. I thought it would be a cute fun little read, but it just became a little confusing towards the last few piles. Also, I’m not sure how comfortable I feel tapping into that kind of energy. I think it’s one thing to ask what’s coming towards you in love vs. who has a crush on you because then there’s like that whole consent thing. But, I already did the piles, and my reservations about it didn’t really pop up until the last two piles. It felt wrong to have spent so much time on 6 piles and not post it? Plus, with Valentines day coming up and my own love life being as dry as possible, I thought it would be fun to get nosy about your love lives! So I do plan on doing some more love-themed readings within the next week or so (HOPEFULLY! My second semester of school started this week, but I’m working on balancing school and my life outside of it!). SO. Choose a pile 1-6 below. Each is represented by some good looking gentleman (or lady) from some period piece. There’s no connection to the characters to the piles outside of just being shows/movies I enjoy. If you’d like a private reading, DM me! Tips are also appreciated (but obviously not necessary). cashapp $sararms paypal: paypal.me/sararms  Another thing to note is that I really ask you to only take what resonates. There’s no way I can get every story possible within 6 readings, so there may only be bits here and there for you, for others there may not be anything that resonates. So, please be discerning. As I said, if you’d like a private reading, please DM me. Also, I gotta apologize, since I had started this nearly a month ago, there’s an obvious difference in the pictures of the cards because I’ve since gotten a new phone that takes way better pictures. But the layout, on the other hand, has no excuse... ANYWAY HERE ARE THE PILES:

1) Jem Merlyn (Jamaica Inn) 2) Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables) 3) Emma Woodhouse (Emma 2020) 4) Jo March (Little Women 2019) 5) Ross Poldark (Poldark) 6) Simon Basset (Bridgerton)

Pile 1: (Jem Merlyn)

cards: Peacock, 8 of swords, 3 of cups rx, 4 of wands, juno, hygeia, psyche First, I have to say that I have a feeling that this person feels you left them. I'm not sure what the context of that is, but from the song lyrics in Downfall by Matchbox Twenty ("If I could go back, would you have ever been with me?"), and then as I started thinking about that, the song Promises by Aly and Aj came on and there's a line in this song about how there is nothing left there anymore.  "Guess I'll go back, guess I'll go home now. Gotta turn around, there's nothing here for me now", which, MOOD to be honest lol. So, it's like, maybe you left something behind, whether it be a home (like a city or a residence?), maybe a job? Something about you left and this person just feels that it's...Not over, but like, that there's something that's changed that will either make things harder or impossible? Also, on the bottom of my lyric deck there was the song Riptide by Vance Joy, at the part where he sings "I just wanna, I just wanna know if you're gonna, if you're gonna stay." So, maybe you're thinking about leaving something? A job? A relationship? I don't know, but that's what I'm getting. There’s something about leaving here, either way. Another thing I'm getting is that I feel that this is a little more than a crush. Or at least, I think they just feel a lot for you. Like, maybe you've taken up their brain space or something, especially since the song Eat, Sleep, Wake (Nothing But You) came on. It's basically about getting someone stuck in your head, so like no matter what you do, they show up in your thoughts. So, I definitely think you've done a number on them. Oh! "I may not say it outwardly, so all I have are memories. Those looks from at the start." I feel like this is definitely someone who is really into you but they haven't told you so - but I think you may get this feeling (like maybe you catch them staring from across the room or something, and with peacock, I feel like they don't even act embarrassed if you catch them). I'm getting a bit of regret with this, especially with 3 of cups reversed and 8 of swords. 8 of swords is almost always about someone who is stuck in their head about something. They're overthinking things and cannot see a way forward, so maybe this person feels like it's almost futile having a crush or feelings for you? I do wonder if for some, the 3 of cups reversed suggests that maybe they think you two are too different? But, then there's the 4 of wands, and these people on this card look really in love and its about balance and harmony...so, maybe they see you as someone they wouldn't mind ending up with, despite differences? But this is about WHO has a crush on you, so I want to describe them a bit for you. So, I pulled the peacock card for you. It's funny because the deck kept spitting out too many cards and when I finally said "only one please" it spit this one out. This is funny to me, because one of the ones I actually noticed that had fallen out before was one with a peacock. I personally have been kind of...haunted by them as of late, so I'm going to notice when they're present. I made note of it, shuffled and then pulled the actual peacock card. When I think of peacocks, I think of the way they strut around. Obviously, when we think of them, we think of how the male peacocks have those beautiful colors on their feathers. So, I think this is someone who stands out. I do also think they may have a certain walk to them, but I don't think they're exaggerating. I think they just...Are that way? Like, they don't have to try hard to get people to notice them, they're just naturally in the spotlight. For some, it could be someone that is kind of show-offy. But, I really don’t get that feeling. Moving on to the tarot, the 8 of swords tells me this person is in their head a lot. I already established you're one of those things in their head, but I also think there's a lot of other things they may overthink. They definitely could be someone who's just an anxious being - I almost feel that Hygeia supports that idea since it can be about your body and your health. The deck's booklet suggests that depending on the placement one has, it can lead to being a hypochondriac, so maybe they're just a giant worry-wart? With the 3 of cups reversed, I get a few things. There's one where it could be either 1 of 2 ways: the first being that maybe they're someone that parties a lot? Like, an excessive amount - and I'm only saying that because it's reversed. The other thought is that this person's kind of a kill-joy, like maybe they don't really have fun at all. Maybe they work too much or something? But I don't think that's it, because to me 4 of wands suggests that overall they're pretty balanced, so I'm thinking that this could be another possibility. One might be they just like to stay at home, like they're a lone wolf?  Another one, I'm just letting this idea flow to me, is that maybe they're just super argumentative, and maybe that's what it's in reverse. Maybe you two argue a lot or they just like to start debates or something along those lines? I usually wouldn’t get that for 3 of cups, but that just came to my mind so I’m sure it’s for someone. Since I'm reading for a lot of people, I feel like there are just a lot of possibilities for these. And with the astrology cards, I only was able to pull asteroids, no signs or houses or planets. So, this makes me think a lot of people are choosing this pile, so pointing out possible astrological placements may not help you guys. But, if you want to know, I see air, water and fire with the tarot alone, and the bottom of the astrological deck was pisces, so that might be for someone. I do feel like this person has more of a balanced set of placements, so for example their sun moon and rising may not be in the same element, and maybe things balance them out. But with the overthinking element, I do wonder if there's a lot of air in their chart. I did mention that Hygeia was about the body and it can also be about hygiene, so I get that this person is just super clean? And, by that I mean, it's super noticeable. Maybe you notice that they smell like a specific soap or if they're someone that might grow facial hair, they keep it well-trimmed, or shaven completely. Their hair is probably kept nicely (like all pieces are in place), their clothes probably neat and never rumpled. Like, that kind of a person? Hygeia also focuses on how we treat our bodies, so...This almost makes me think back to how I mentioned excessive partying with the 3 of cups being reversed? I think they try to take care of themselves, but there might be a bad habit they have, like smoking or drinking more than they know they should. I don't get any huge red-flags about it, so take what resonates. Juno can talk about partnerships and what one's ideal partner is like, so I think this just says that one of you views the other as the ideal partner. I say one of you, because I was going to say they view you this way, but it's about WHO has a crush on you, so I do wonder if this is a two-way street here? Like, I think you may have a crush on them too, in which case, you're probably going to notice what they smell like lol. This could also suggest that they have boundaries that are clear to you and everyone else. So, maybe they're in the spotlight, but they only let people in so close? Like, they’re pretty selective about it? I think this person also comes off as being super empathetic and sensitive to people and their energies. The Psyche card can talk about this, so I think maybe they're someone who can just tell in an instant if you're just not feeling right? This could be why they hold boundaries - maybe sometimes they just get overwhelmed from how other peoples emotions make them feel? One of the lyrics I pulled for this pile was from Tiger's Jaw's song, Divide. The line goes: "You are drowning, it's in your eyes." - That line makes me think about someone who's extra sensitive to other people, and maybe also someone who has a lot of thoughts and emotions themselves. The bottom deck energy being Pisces makes me think of that too, especially because Pisces is a water sign (so, emotions), and the sign is 2 fish, so again, water - drowning. It's possible this person has a lot of emotions but no way to express them (8 of swords) so in return it feels a bit like their head is a prison? I'm not really getting much else about this person. I almost feel like this is just a sign that I should take to tell you that I think this is all you need to know? Like, I think, like I said earlier, you kind of had a feeling this person had a crush on you anyway. So, maybe this is more just a confirmation for you? Either way, I think this should be enough for you to know who I'm talking about. Oh! One thing, though, is that I think both of you, even though you both get the feeling that the other likes you, don't think it's possible? I just got that at the beginning because Movement's cover of Loosing my Religion came on first, and that song is basically about unrequited love. So, I think the 3 of cups reversed could also just be about miscommunication, or at least,  misinterpreting actions and words on both sides? I don't know, something to think about. Music: losing my religion - cover by Movements promises - aly & aj downfall - matchbox twenty divide - tigers jaw riptide - vance joy eat, sleep, wake (nothing but you) - bombay bicycle club Pile 2: (Anne Shirley)

cards: queen of wands, ace of cups, queen of swords, elixir, anne carson (intellect), venus, 1st quarter moon, solar eclipse So, you got Queen of Wands AND Queen of Swords, AND Queen of Pentacles was on the bottom of the deck. So, there is a possibility that this is more than one person. For the sake of not confusing myself, I'm going to read this like one person, so, there's a possibility that you could possibly pick out multiple people being described. Or, if you felt called to another pile, maybe check it out to see if that can give you any more clarity. Remember! Take what resonates! Whoever this is THEY ARE SMART. And I don't just mean book-smart, I just mean INTELLIGENT. I got both the Anne Carson card AND Brainy by The National. The Anne Carson card's keyword is The intellect, and it talks about growing intellectually, but also the "delights of the mind", so I think this person also likes to pick other people's brains as a way to learn more about others and the world they're living in. I also think they're a student, and I mean, they could be any age, really. Like, maybe they're in graduate school or just still in High School. It could also just be that they’re not in school, but are just constantly seeking knowledge? So, maybe they read a lot of non-fiction? All I know is that this person being smart is probably something you've thought about, even if it's only a passing thought. Oh. But they're also maybe a little full of it, lol. (Full of It by DBMK came on, so!!!) Another thing is that the bottom deck energy for the astrology cards was Pallas Athena and that can talk about intelligence, so phew. Very smart. The venus card, to me, suggests that this is a really good looking person. Like, I don't want to say classically good-looking, but I think a lot of people notice this person. Also, Venus rules Taurus and Libra, and since you got Queen of Swords and Queen of Pentacles was on the bottom, I could definitely see this person having earth and air in their placements. But, kind of similar to what I saw in the first pile, I got a feeling of balance of placements (within the tarot I pulled, fire, water and air are present, plus bottom deck which was earth). So, like I also told the first pile, I think I'm reading for a lot of different situations, also if this is more than one person, the placements are going to be everywhere. I just want to say that you shouldn't get stuck on that, just take this as more of a confirmation if you already know their placements or something. First Quarter moon talks about transformation, so, maybe this is a very transformative person. Meaning, maybe they change their style a lot, or maybe they just seem to be changing a lot themselves? Solar Eclipse suggests something is being illuminated. So maybe they're someone that is really blunt? I think queen of swords definitely lends to this, because anyone in that energy can be seen as a very blunt person. I think they might be someone that says something that gets others thinking. Or, they have a way about explaining things that allows someone to see another side to things? The song Be Sensible by Jimmy Eat World came on, so I think this person is pretty logical and sensible, which is another Air-quality, so blunt, but logical. Like, they may not sugar-coat what they say, but they're also logical and see both sides of situations, in return, allowing you to see both sides to. To be honest, I feel like they're pretty sarcastic for some of you. And, I mean. The dryest of humor. The kind where you have to look up when they say something to see if they’re being serious or not, and sometimes it goes over some peoples heads. But, something tells me you’re able to translate it well. To be honest, I don’t think this person would have a crush on you if you couldn’t differentiate between their sarcasm and when they’re serious. So I said they were probably really blunt and logical, also possibly sarcastic. That's what I got from the Queen of Swords. From Queen of Wands, I also get that their really passionate. Like, I think this could be about anything? Maybe just life! But, I think there's a certain amount of creativity this person holds, and I think them being super smart gives them an interesting perspective on whatever they create? Maybe they write poetry or lyrics. Maybe they paint? For some reason, I always get a painter from queen of wands. I don't know, maybe I'm just imagine someone with a huge paint brush lol Like, really, in my mind I'm seeing someone with a giant paint brush, so maybe this person really does paint. The ace of cups is interesting to me. I think this might just say that their in the beginning of something that's emotionally fulfilling? Like, maybe a new course or a new job? For some of them, they just found the path they want to take. I know that sounds random, but the song (jogging) by Jetty Bones came on and a lyric really stood out to me, "All along, I thought I knew, but I had no, no idea where I was going at all, so I was going and going and going and gone." So, maybe they felt like they were in this endless loop of life until recently something dawned on them and they took a new path, which ended up being something really fulfilling emotionally? This could also just be someone who is really open about their emotions. I'd say they sound really emotionally balanced. And, this ace of cups is a hand pouring liquid from one container to another, so maybe they also are someone with a lot of love to give? I was trying to figure out what Elixir meant in this context, but I forgot that the bottom deck energy for this pile in that deck was Ghost, which can mean unfinished business. So, possibly this is someone from your past? Or someone who just thinks your time together isn't over. So if for some reason this is someone and you know who it is and you haven't seen them in a while, they don't think it's over. They think you'll run into each other again, and maybe elixir is like you two getting drinks (could also be getting coffee lol) - the song Take Me by Aly and Aj came on, so!!! Maybe they want to take you on a date to get drinks!? (Ace of cups!?). For the lyrics, they definitely are wondering how you feel about them since I pulled Downfall by Matchbox Twenty (First pile got the same song, different lyrics), "I wonder what you think of me." So, they definitely aren't sure how you feel. However, I think they can have a big ego (I think I mentioned this earlier), because I also pulled the line "You might need me more than you think you do." from Brainy by The National, so I think they're someone who can sometimes feel a bit entitled to other people? If that's the case, I'd make sure you set good boundaries. I don't get a bad vibe but I get a cocky vibe and sometimes cocky people can be total assholes. Strong boundaries are good for this person, but if this is someone who you actually want to accept the cup from, than I wouldn't build the boundaries too high, ya know? Like, still be open, but also be careful. I just don't want someone to feel entitled to you guys, okay? That being said, I think they loose sleep over you lol, because bottom deck energy for the lyric cards is a song by Now, Now called Prehistoric (so, also, thinking about someone from your past? But also, maybe they're into history?), " I will trade this sleep for you in a heart beat." Maybe they dream a lot about you? Either way, I think they loose sleep over you, so I mean, if they are really cocky, that's kind of something to be proud of lol You managed to take up more space in their mind than they themselves took up (Yeah, I'm seriously getting a cocky, full of themselves energy from this person). Oh! I just noticed that there's like a shape coming out of the cup on the Elixir card, and it looks a bit like a ghost, so definitely unfinished business with someone. I don’t know! I get good vibes from them despite how cocky they feel. I think that may just have come across so strongly so that someone can possibly confirm who it is? Just, remember boundaries! Music: Downfall - Matchbox Twenty Brainy - The National (jogging) - Jetty Bones Take Me - Aly & Aj Pile 3: (Emma Woodhouse)

cards: 6 of swords, king of pentacles, 3 of swords, capricorn, scorpio, psyche, wolf, Flannery O'Connor (Humanity) I get this sense that this is someone who doesn't say much. Like, I think they speak only when they have something of value to say. I don't know, I just get that feeling because I pulled lyrics from the song The Silence by Manchester Orchestra. These lyrics don't suggest this, but I was thinking about the song title and the fact that I pulled the Wolf card too. I got the saying "lone-wolf" in my head with that. Also, with Scorpio and Capricorn, I get a strong energy from them but like both signs can be observational. I think Capricorns get pinned into this stereotype of being workaholics and super-materialistic, but at the root of it all, their earth signs, so they're still grounded and logical. Not in the sense of an air-signs logic, but like, I'd say understanding. Like, I think they feel more and think more than they let on, but they don't see much point in expressing those things, which is the exact energy I get from this person. I wonder if maybe they just have a hard time opening up? Also, the bottom deck energy for the tarot deck was The Emperor, and even though that's technically the Aries card, I definitely get like a Capricorn vibe from it too. Like, I do think they're good at controlling themselves. Like, their sense of self-control is GOOD. Maybe they're a little lost and having trouble with that right now, but I think normally this person is good at that. And for water signs, I view Scorpios as being a little more closed off. They're known for being extremely observational, but their observations are also fairly insightful. So, I bet this person has a lot they could say, but maybe they just don't deem it as worthy - or at least, not for everyone to hear. As though they don't open up to just anyone. I get a similar vibe in this pile to pile 1, so if you felt called to it, I’d check it out. With the tarot, I see that for some of you this is someone who is moving away from a job or something financial. I only say this because 6 of swords suggests moving away from something and 3 of swords suggests heartbreak, but with the king of pentacles (and even an earth sign like Capricorn falling out) I do wonder if this was job-related. Though, this could be someone who is getting over someone who is in the king of pentacles energy? I think they definitely could be moving away from heartbreak of some sort, whether it's finances or romance. But, along with that, I can also see 6 of swords being paired with Scorpio as being super transformational. Like, I think they know when they need to transform and go through those death/rebirths. Like when a change is needed. The 3 of swords could just say they've broken a few (or a lot) of hearts, and I'd say with both scorpio and capricorn present, they must be a pretty intense person, so heartbreak might be a common thing they cause. Or, they themselves have had many heart breaks. I think, mostly, though, what I get is that right now they're going through one. This could also be that they felt rejected by you at some point? Like maybe you rejected them, or it was vice versa and maybe they regret that? Either way, they're into you now.  Even if you turned them down or they turned you down, they're into you. I think they could be at a distance from you - whether physical or maybe they just can't get you alone? Or, just time with you in general? Because I pulled lyrics from Mat Beringer's song Distant Axis: "I feel like I'm as far as I can get from you." And if we pair that with the 6 of swords, I could see a distance. I'm not sure what category you fall under (the actual physical one, or the one where you two can't get time together), but they're feeling this. Oh, the song Seneca by Movements came on, and this song is about someone finding out that an Ex that they never quite got over is engaged, so I definitely wonder if for some this is an ex that never got over you. The song before it was Garden Eyes by the same band, and that one talks about staying in a situation you feel because you think it's the best there is for you. So, I do wonder if one of you is with someone else and there's pining? Also, while this person is intense, I do wonder if they have some intense self-worth issues. I also think that they have trouble with the world in general. Like, I think they see what's going on and aren't happy. I get that from the Humanity card, Flannery O'Connor's. This card has a peacock on it (again, check out pile one if you felt called to) Peacocks to me seem to demand attention, whether or not it's really what they want? Like, either way, you're going to see their colors, so I think this person could be someone that stands out to you - but maybe you also notice that they're kind of a loner too. Like, not quite, but definitely someone who isn't quite open to everyone. The Humanity card can talk about reckoning with failure. She's holding a broken egg (though it looks like it's bleeding), so I have to wonder if maybe they put their eggs all in one basket (so to speak...) and it failed them, and now they're having to deal with the fall out or regret. It can also talk about knowing oneself, so maybe it's also them being in a process of relearning who they are? So if we go off of my theory of them having to get through heartbreak and move on from something either financial or romance related, we could maybe assume that maybe they had started to build their identity off of this relationship or job? Maybe it consumed them to a point where they lost themselves in it but now they don't have it so they're just sitting there with that broken egg? OH! The wolf card can mean the self without others, so yeah. They definitely lost themselves within something for a bit. Maybe even within you? I'm not sure, I think there are a lot of different situations here. I do think they see you in a hopeful way though, like maybe them thinking about you gets them in a better mood? I think, like my comment about them having trouble with self-worth, I think they're just having a difficult time, and maybe they're trying hard to be grateful? I pulled the song, the Silence by Manchester Orchestra for you and the line I pulled was "Let me open my eyes and be glad that I got here." So, perhaps they're just going through a tough time and having trouble finding the good in the world. I also think with the Psyche card, they're pretty intuitive and empathetic, especially if they're a Scorpio or have that in any major placements, so It's definitely this thought in my mind of them kind of drowning in pain? I'm not sure, but I get sadness from them. An intense energy, but also an intense sad one. So, I guess if you know who they are, and you have feelings for them too, I'd give them some space to heal.  The bottom deck energy for the Literary Witch Oracle was Saphho's card, which has the keyword of Love, so I think it's a pretty big crush that they have. Another key saying for it is taking flight, so I think this person is moving on from whatever happened in the past, but I see it as a thick energy. Like, slow moving. Like, when you're trying to walk through water or snow? Just. Slow. The King of Pentacles in this deck has a turtle, so I'd definitely say slow...The last song that came on for you was Wake Me by Bleachers, and it's a pretty romantic song, so yeah. They like like you lol. Music: The Silence - Manchester Orchestra Distant Axis - Matt Beringer Seneca - Movements Garden Eyes - Movements Wake Me - Bleachers

Pile 4: (Jo March)

Cards:  wall, saphho, the fool, king of cups, page of cups rx, virgo, 1st house, hygea I think they're indecisive, I'll say that lol Lot's of cards that would flip and then flip back before I could grab them. So maybe in general they just have trouble making decisions or they're undecided about you. Like, they have a crush, but they're not sure how big it is or if they want to make a move? For some, how to make a move? Yeah, I did pull some lyrics from a song by Road Trip called Tokyo Hotel, "If I leave my love in your hands, tell me you'll keep it safe?" So, I do wonder if this person is just scared of being vulnerable, and so maybe they're going through a healing period and aren't able to make a move/don't feel capable so they're just kind of crushing on you from far away. I also pulled the song Shameless by All Time Low, which basically is just about how the narrator thinks this person is shameless: "You talk like you're famous. You're shameless," but I almost don't see this as a bad thing. Like I think they view you as someone who see's your self worth, so I'm reading this that way. So, wow, that first paragraph was so funny because I wrote that before I pulled the other cards? I pulled the lyric cards first, mostly because I felt called to, but I also was like "maybe this can give me the tone of this pile's reading?" And it sure did! Yes, this is someone who is currently healing. They have some high boundaries right now, I especially see that with the card "wall", so yes. They're very protective of themselves. I'd say they're guarding their heart pretty closely, and I think that Sappho (Love), and King of Cups is a dragon in front of that cup, looking a little fierce. Not really welcoming at all. Also, page of cups is reversed. That card came out sideways, and when I looked at it I really just felt that it was more reversed than anything? Like, I think they want to offer you a cup, like even that King looks a bit like he does, but there's just this sense of needing to protect themselves, so it's not offered. But I think a word that applies to this is yet, like they have the intention to - I definitely feel this, but they don't think now is a good time.  You did get Sappho, which the main keyword is love. So? I definitely think they have feelings for you and they definitely desire something with you, but not now? (Hey, on a side note, if you know who this is and also have feelings, please don't put your life on hold for them? I just felt the need to say that.) And maybe that's like on both sides, maybe they have some shit they're dealing with and maybe you do too. I accidentally wrote page of pentacles instead of cups when I was writing out the cards, and I do get that feeling here. I think they're starting something new like a new job/career or class while also healing themselves? So, it's just not a good time for them to start something else too. Especially because I feel like with the King of Cups they want to put effort into it, like the king is someone who is able to balance their emotions and think with their heart and their mind. Like, not rule quite as logically as the King of Swords, but there still is logic involved. Which brings me to the astrology cards. I pulled Virgo, which is so interesting to me. Lately I've been noticing how many similarities to Virgo that the sign Scorpio has? And I definitely get scorpio vibes with this pile despite not pulling anything that was like SUPER scorpio? Like, yes, cups are dominant here, so there's definitely water, But, outside of that, the only actual one that I'd say is Virgo for sure. However, we have the fool card here - I'm not going to get to this one quite yet, because I'm still kind of feeling that one out, but I can say that it's ruled by Uranus, which in return rules Aquarius. But, this person I think can be detached. I know that sounds weird, considering that I said I got watery Scorpio vibes (though, another thing to add is that this deck has chosen to use a siren for the fool card, so definitely WATER ), but I mean, I think with Virgo, Aquarius and Scorpio vibes, there's a HUGE analytical trait to this person. I think they observe and take in all of the little details. This could also be another reason why they're not making a move on you yet? I think there are a few more details they want to "smooth" over so to speak, but also a few more things they want to know about you. Also, bottom of the deck energy was Page of Swords, so more page activity. This, I think, is them watching you. Like, not in a creepy way. Just in a way to gather knowledge on how best to approach this? Going back to the fool, I think usually this is someone who does take chances. With the Virgo and Airy/Aquarius element, I think they think about these chances, like maybe even too much, but I think with that King of Cups and Page of Cups (even in the reverse), they still allow their heart to mingle in this logic? Maybe when they were younger they were impulsive, and over time they've learned to like, tame the impulsivity? It's funny because even though there's a page here, I don't think they're that young. Yes, some of them might be, but I think the majority of you that picked this pile are older? LIke 20s+? I said they have have started something new recently, and I think there are a few set backs within it, like maybe it's taken a while to get there. So, while they're a King of Cups, they're also a Page of Cups. Something about this crush on you also makes them feel inexperienced. Maybe, with past connections they liked to jump in right away (that fool card), but now they're...Not feeling so confident? Maybe, going back to the lyrics by All Time Low, they fear rejection from you? Bottom of the deck energy for the lyric deck was the song Flowerchild by Citizen with the line: "I don't know where I went wrong", so perhaps you've rejected them already? Or, there's a sense that if they offer something they won't be good enough for you? But...They're a king...I don't know! This person has some insecurities. Also, I think the wall card could indicate this as well? Like, this insecurities are obstacles. There also could be physical obstacles, like maybe it's just not possible for either of you to work it out right now, so maybe they're bidding their time? I have a lot of questions about this and I think this is mostly because I'm reading a lot of different situations, so if you feel like you recognize this energy, take what resonates. I have a song stuck in my head called Intuition by The Backseat Lovers, and I didn't want to mention it because I thought it was mostly just me, but it didn't really get stuck in my head until I started this pile. Also, I couldn't hear the lyrics or remember which song it was until right when I wrote "resonates". The lyrics I hear are "Call it intuition..." so, I think for some of you this is resonating. Like you're just confirming something. I looked at the booklet for the Virgo card to see if there was anything I wasn't remembering about the sign, and it did remind me of a few things. First off, it's an earth sign (Capricorn is on the bottom of the deck, so I think this person has strong earth/water placements), and can be nurturing. So, maybe it's that their embodying a more nurturing energy right now for themselves? Like, I get this organized nurture. That's so funny to say because I think when people think of people who are organized and super analytical they definitely get like this idea of someone who is really serious and no-nonsense, right? But, I don't get that? In fact, even though I think they're healing and they have their walls up, I get this cheery sense to this person. I think they do like order and I think they are trying to take care of their health/body/mind/emotions (hygeia and virgo definitely suggest this), but I think they also are a nice person. Like a genuinely nice? (not that someone who cares for themselves aren’t, I’m just saying they like to help people as well as themselves, like a: “I give what I can when I can” kind of energy) Even though that dragon looks a bit suspicious on the King of cups and he's snarling, I think maybe they could give off a cold/harsh exterior? But, this could also be linked to those boundaries and those insecurities. Maybe this is how they seem, but if you get to know them, they're warmer than this. Oh, you know that's so funny, I forgot that we have the 1st house here. This is the house that is basically how we are on the outside? So maybe they're a Virgo or Aquarius rising? Or even a Scorpio rising? So then that would make those their first house. So I think maybe this cold version is their mask, but maybe their sun or moon is something  like a fire sign or even water? I'm not sure, because this is such a general reading that I'm probably reading for several people, so these are just small possibilities. It could just be that at this point in their life, this is how their energy is. Also, going back to hygeia, I think this person enjoys working out? Or just staying active. I think health is really important to them, or at least right now it is because bottom of the deck for the literary oracles is elixir, which can talk about health. You know what I just realized? That's not a dragon, its some sea creature, which I've gotten two new things from: the first is that that if they do like to stay active, I think they swim a lot or do a lot of water-related sports/activities. It could also be that water just really calms them down because water is a huge aspect of all the pictures on these cards. The second is that, remember how I said it looked like this "dragon" is guarding the cup in front of him? Like, that his heart is a bit closed off right now? Well, I also think that because this is some sea serpent that appears to be underwater (pretty deep too, judging by how dark the blue is in the background), so I think this person is keeping these feelings for you down deep. Like, deep down in their own ocean. So, like, they plan to tell you one day or at least they want to, but haven't been able to surface yet, if that makes sense? A few more things: The moon seems prominent some how. I didn't pull any cards that REALLY indicate the moon, but the hygeia card looks like the moon to me, but then the page of cups seems to have 6 moons too. So, 6 could be something important too. Maybe age difference? Month you met? Day you met? I'm not sure, something about this is important. Also, the moons can just kind of point out how there's still an unknown aspect to this, like they still are trying to figure you out but there's also stuff about them you don't know? So, if you do know who this is and you feel the same, you're asked to kind of wait for them to come around (NOT WAIT AROUND, I MEAN DON'T PUSH ANYTHING) but also that there's still some stuff you're unaware of. The color red is important too. When I first was shuffling I like saw it in my head but I didn't write about it because it just was like, "Oh, random" ya know? But now that I'm looking at the cards, I see it on the 1st house card and the King of Cups has some red that almost looks fiery. Also the page of cups has a red thread wrapped around their ankle, which, could be that maybe you're supposed to learn lessons from each other? Like, that red thread of fate? I'm not sure I can tell you if this person ever will make a move, but they want to some day. Another thing is that outside of red, I also think the colors green and blue are significant, like, maybe someone’s favorite color or something? So, basically this is someone who's healing after something. I don't think I got into what that could be, and honestly I don't really see what it could be with these cards. I think that's a message and it's that whatever it is, it's separate from you. Which is also why this person needs time to heal so that they don't bring it forward with them wherever they go, especially if that's to you. You know what's interesting? A few months ago I did a similar reading on who was crushing on people, and I definitely had a pile like this. So maybe you picked that pile and this is the same person and they're still healing? I'm not sure, I'll link that PAP here so that if you're curious to see if you get that pile you can read it. (here's that reading, it was pile 5) Music: Shameless - All Time Low Tokyo Hotel - Roadtrip Flowerchild - Citizen Intuition - The Backseat Lovers Pile 5: (Ross Poldark)

Cards:  Sun, Venus, Juno, Waning Gibbous Moon, Shirley Jackson (family) Alejandra Pizarnik (solitude), wolf, The Lovers, Nine of Pentacles, The Fool, and Page of Wands Pile 5, Your (I meant to put this, but it feels important to leave Your) person is trying to get over you. That's my first thought on this situation. Maybe, not really get over you, but maybe they think its best? I'm not sure if maybe they're thinking that it's kind of a futile thing or that maybe they don't think that they have a chance with you. So far in the shuffling process you guys have 2 extra cards, so I think this person talks a lot. Also, there are a lot of yellows and pinks I'm seeing with these cards. Tulips or roses may be of significance. This person might have a lot of earth or air in their chart. Like, I pulled the venus card, so they could be Libra or Taurus, but I also puled The Lovers and The Fool, so also maybe Gemini or Aquarius. I also think that their sun and venus placements might be important, like maybe they have them in signs that work well with your signs? With the Wolf card and the Alejandra Pizarnik (Solitude) card I definitely think this is someone who keeps to themselves. I don't really think they're an introvert (they could be) but with the sun and the venus cards I feel a definite sense that they're flirty lol. Like, I think they might not spend a lot of time with people, but they definitely can be charismatic? Also, I think its interesting that there are both the venus and the juno cards because venus is about love language and juno is also about relationships? I had a really weird 10 minutes where I spent a while trying to figure this out. First I thought maybe this was someone married or in a relationship who was into you or someone you once dated yourself? But, (and while that could be true, re: either versions), I don't think so. Even though I have cards like Juno, that means the partner, or Shirley Jackson which is a card about family/domestic life, I also have Wolf and Solitude and 9 of pentacles. Plus, with the lovers, I do think there's some genuine feelings here. I mean, it could also mean like, a choice this person has to make, but why not give me two of swords or another 2 card? Like, it could also mean that this person has a duality to them (so maybe they are really introverted but can be an extrovert when they need to be?). A weird thing is that I almost feel like telling you to look at the last pile (4) if you were drawn to it, because on the solitude card she's holding a heart that's broken and bleeding. So, maybe this person just went through a really bad break up (and maybe I'm getting weird mixed messages because maybe this is someone you thought was in a relationship, but has since left it? The spilled cup of tea/coffee on Shirley Jackson's card also suggests this to me - also the stain on the wall under the house.) I feel like, if you know who they are, you’re not sure what they’re up to. Maybe you’re in communication or something, but it’s surface level stuff right now? So, who they are as a person is that like I said, they could be both introverted and extroverted. Honestly, I think they're a complex person really. I think they may be romantic, but also maybe a flirt. I think they could be a really sunny person too, like this sun card is just really standing out to me. This could just mean that they're confident (I almost think that's like a definite with the fool card here), but it could also suggest that they have a big ego. The Waning Gibbous moon is about perfecting, so maybe they're perfecting something , like an aspect of them (taming their ego?), or a hobby or a job or just anything? Maybe they're a student and they're learning so that's what they're perfecting? I do think with the Lovers here, this could be them trying to perfect the balance within them, so maybe it's them balancing their emotions, or their confidence where they have a lot of it, but not to a detrimental point? And while I definitely associate this 9 of pentacles with their relationship status, just in the context of these cards, I also think this is like someone who's got their shit together, or at least working on that. I think they're stable financially, or their working on it/just about there. I think they're also independent and they don't rely on anyone. Maybe family is important to them and they are close to their family - and maybe because of that, they dream to have one, but right now they’re alone? I think with Juno there, maybe they see that you're someone that could fit into this idea though? Though, I do think they're still actively trying to get over you, so I still get that sense that they think this might never happen. I think the fool card suggests that they're willing to take risks. In the last pile, even though I said maybe you should read that one too if you're called to it, I said that possibly they're usually impulsive with connections with people, but that in that specific one, they weren't being impulsive. In this one, I do think it's not that they're impulsive per-say, but that they take risks. I almost see it more as calculated (which is funny because last pile got virgo and I'd definitely read that as calculated risk with the fool, but wasn't getting the vibe - this one I do). I definitely am seeing this with how this siren is kind of just waiting on this rock, studying something? Bottom of the deck for the astrological deck was Scorpio, so I think they like to observe people. So, maybe this siren on the fool card is observing before they make a move? I'm not sure why I still get the sense that they think this is futile...? Because I'd say the fool would eventually take the leap into the water, but I'm not seeing them do this. Then again, I did say they were perfecting something, so maybe its a waiting game until whatever this is gets perfected? Oh, I did just have a thought. I thought they were trying to move on from you but maybe they just went through a break up and its whoever they just broke up with? The lyrics I pulled for you are from Prehistoric by Now, Now: " I'll say that I've been trying to move on, we both know I'm not" - with, that one could literally be about you, maybe before they broke up, they felt guilty about having feelings for you (Because I almost wonder if this crush has overlapped within a relationship)? Or it's about the ex? It's going to differ for situations I think. The other was Divide by Tiger's Jaw "But it's too cold to walk home and I know I shouldn't call you". The song is about two people are into each other, and they can see it but they don't express it? It's almost as if they think its a bad idea to be together. I'm trying to figure out why they're trying to move on from you. Or if it is you... Something about this feels like I'm missing something? And I guess maybe that's a sign that you're not supposed to know everything about this person. That's another similarity to pile 4, they weren't really supposed to know either. So, I wonder if maybe this is also a reflection of you at this point in your life too? Maybe you're both learning on how to be yourselves and in order for anything to work between you two (if that's supposed to, but honestly with the lovers here I feel like maybe it is), you're supposed to learn how to be independent and what you want in life and a partner? One of the keywords for venus in the booklet is the Divine Feminine and as I started thinking about that, my ear started ringing. So, I think that one of you or both of you is supposed to get more in touch with the softer side of yourself. Like, the emotions? The bottom deck energy for the tarot is the Empress, so I do think there is something in that. Maybe both of you need to work on nurturing yourselves but also how to nurture others? Gonna be honest, this pile is really confusing me. It's so weird, I was getting stuff and getting stuff and now I feel like I'm hitting a wall. I'm going to try and pull a clarifier for the lyrics, because I think they're throwing me off the most. So, even the clarifier seems contradictory. It was page of wands, which normally I'd see that card as someone who's naïve and impulsive, kind of like the fool I guess. But, I think I'm seeing this now more as this person should be focusing on what makes them passionate, which very well could be you, but instead they're trying to let go. I think maybe they themselves are fighting this inside a lot. I'm going to stop reading this here, I think. I think this person has a lot to figure out, but I think you do too? I think this is a confusing situation where you both have feelings but someone wasn't available and now they're still not despite being single? I think whatever this is, it's going to take time. Sorry if this one seemed all over the place. I do think if you felt called to another pile you should try and check it out too because maybe it will give you more answers. But also, I need to remind you to take only what resonates. Do not try and make anything that doesn't fit, fit. I'm thinking it's so scattered because I think everyone is scattered? Like, I'm obviously reading for more than 2 people here, so I think its a bunch of confused individuals and I feel the need to really highlight the word Individual. So, my advice is to focus on yourself for now. I didn't give the other piles advice, but I feel the need to give it to you. Music: Divide - Tigers Jaw Prehistoric - Now, Now The 1 - Taylor Swift Pile 6: (Simon Basset)

Cards:  Book, Wings, Bees, King of Swords, Queen of Pentacles, The Hanged Man, Chiron, Waxing Crescent Moon, First Quarter Moon, Scorpio Wow. I'm pretty sure all 6 piles had some sort of scorpio mention, if not a scorpio-esque vibe. Either we're all attracting scorpios or its just some message for me that I'm ignoring. I'm going to read it like its not that!!! The tarot with this pile is really powerful to me. You got King of Swords, so someone who is really logical but knows how to use this logic to rule. This might be someone who maybe be higher up in their job? I wouldn't say its the CEO, but the fact that you also got King of Pentacles as the bottom deck energy, it very well may be? Or at least a manager of some sort. I also think because the bottom deck energy for the literary oracles is the eye, this is someone who holds a position over you? I think its like a watchful eye, they pay attention to you. But I think within this pile you may find answers to some questions you have? Another thing about that eye card is that for some reason when I saw it, I saw green eyes? So for some of you this person has green eyes. But I think that's for a limited few. You also have the Queen of Pentacles. The Queen of Pentacles is a nurturer, but she's also practical and grounded. So this person is both logical and grounded and to be honest that sounds like a double threat to me. I think with the hanged man, its kind of like the hermit in this sense. This person goes within a lot to think through things, but I think there's also that observational element from this and Scorpio, like they hang back and watch. That watchful eye again. This person loves to watch you. Like, I just keep thinking about that eye card and I don't know why. But, the hanged man can also talk about a pause. Perhaps this person is in a stagnant period within their life? Or they're on pause. I think whatever this pause is, it's not keeping them from from watching you. WHY DO I KEEP CIRCLING BACK TO THAT? I definitely think this person has some obsessive tendencies and I know that’s kind of a stereotype with scorpios, but because I keep thinking the words "watchful eye" i definitely think they're keeping tabs on you. Whether it be in person or on the internet. I don't get any particularly bad vibes from them, but I do think if they wanted to, they could be manipulative, so keep that in mind. The wings suggest that they're a very ambitious individual. So, if they haven't gotten to the top of their company yet and that's where they want to go, they will. Kind of like how I feel that once they set their eyes on someone, its only a matter of time before they make a move. I get that movement feeling with the wings and the bees too. Also, the wings could suggest someone that travels or likes to travel. Maybe they're also in constant movement. The king of swords is a griffon in this deck, so I definitely see a lot of movement with this person. The book for this deck says it can signify hope, so like the star card almost. I think they are hopeful about you, but I also read this as history. Maybe they like history (I'm thinking like renaissance period stuff if so, just based on the dress on the lady in the hanged man card?) or you both have a history with each other? Take what resonates, guys. And the bees can talk about teamwork, so maybe they just make a good partner, whether its within business or in love. But, I also could read this as work, so maybe this is a manager or boss of yours? Kind of scandalous to be honest lmao, I definitely get this forbidden feeling with this pile, I mean one of the songs is called Separate Rooms, so there's a sense of like...propriety here? The lyrics that I pulled from that song are "If you don't mind, I don't mind", so maybe its like, they don't quite mind that they think this might never happen or can't happen? I think maybe they'd say that for sure, but is that how they really feel? Or, possibly, they don’t mind the forbidden aspect of it (maybe its a turn on?). I do think they're into you for sure. I mean, obviously its' a reading on who has a crush on you, but the line from the other song I pulled, Honeypie by Love Fame Tragedy is "Some feelings go but most find their way back in", so I do think they try to not think about how they feel about you, and yet they always find that their thoughts come back to you? Especially if you work together, but it's like a fight they loose all the time. It just keeps happening. With the King of Swords I definitely see this person as more cerebral and even if they think less with their heart and more with their head, it doesn't mean that heart doesn't leak through. I bet its a battle within themselves daily, to be honest. With chiron, I think this person has a healing energy to them. There is also a bit of self-doubt, but I think we all experience that from time to time. They could also be healing themselves too? But I get that they're more of a healing energy. Bottom of the deck is New Moon, so I mean, they could be starting something new, which could maybe involve healing. I also pulled Waxing Crescent Moon, which can be about taking initiative. I think they're fairly action oriented, and I think both the King of Swords and the Queen of Pentacles (less so than the King of Swords, and slow movement with this card, but movement within this specific version) can say that too. I see those two as movers more than the Hanged Man, but again. I think they're in a period of stagnation, so I don't think they're doing a lot of action-oriented things right now. First Quarter Moon can talk about growth, so maybe this stagnant period is really them just growing? Like, maybe they're looking inward at their own faults and stuff like that. I feel like Chiron hints at that too. Like, they're gaining more knowledge about themselves and the world around them by going inward. Which, really, is the message of the hermit card, but it didn't come out. I think the Scorpio card also might factor into that healing energy as well as the one of growth. Scorpios are known for being all about transformation, which is what growth is. They also are a water sign, so I think there's a lot of emotions here, but I think they know how to transmute them healthily. It's interesting, because even though I get that this is kind of a forbidden connection (like I get that vibe), I think they sound like a good person to be around. Like, they almost give off a mentor vibe, and I like that. Even though they may be a little creepy and have their eye on you, I think they're also not a bad person to have around? I think they give good advice and I also think you can learn a lot from them, especially with the way I think they heal themselves. AHH. The bottom deck energy for the lyric deck was Good Together by Shallou and the first line in the song is “We couldn’t love from a distance” So! I think whatever this is, they can’t stand not being with you? Like, I think they want so badly to tell you how they feel but circumstances don’t allow for it. I didn’t even notice this until I was linking the song down below!! Though, the rest of the song is about how this person’s ex is falling for someone else now. So? I don’t know. That first line does really stick out to me, but maybe the rest of the song has something for you. Music: Honeypie - Love Fame Tragedy Separate Rooms - Now, Now Prehistoric - Now, Now Good Together - Shallou

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x01- Previously on...

Welcome back!! I’m so excited to be writing one of these again. I think this hiatus has been the longest I’ve gone without new Diane Lockhart content in ten years, and it sure feels like it. A lot of important stuff has happened in the time since TGF season four ended (not concluded—ended). Most notably, CBS All Access became Paramount+ and suddenly started offering a lot of content I care about! I kid. 2020 was quite an eventful year, so I was curious how television’s most topical show was going to take it on. TGF is always forward-looking, but too much happened in 2020 to be ignored. And while I didn’t think TGF would have much to say about the pandemic, it seemed impossible to imagine a season five that pretended it never happened. Going into this premiere, I was expecting that they’d either skip COVID entirely or include very few references, but after seeing this episode, I feel like the writers took the only approach that made sense. And that is why they are the writers, and I'm just some girl on the internet who writes recaps.  

Anyway, before I dive into the episode, I should also note that my pandemic boredom spurred me to actually pay $30 to watch this episode early as part of the virtual ATX Festival. Yes, I paid $30 on top of the money I spend every month on Paramount+ for this show. But I write tens of thousands of words about each TGF episode—are my priorities really that surprising? I note this not to brag or even to poke fun at myself, but because watching the episode before I knew a single thing about it (not even the title!) completely changed my viewing experience. I’ve never had an experience like this with TGW or TGF. I’m one to search for critics tweeting cryptically about screeners and refresh sites looking for background extras (haven’t done this in the TGF era, though) and read every single piece of press I can find. For any big episode, I usually know the outline of what to expect going in (I even knew about Will before the episode aired in the US!). Not this one! So, I got to be surprised, and I had to—gasp—formulate my own opinions before I knew what anyone else thought! It was really pleasant, actually. I think the structure of the episode worked extremely well for me because it caught me by surprise... and also because I’m the kind of person who somehow managed to write a college paper about Previously On sequences.

I see Tumblr has made it so that “keep reading” expands the post in your dash instead of opening a new tab. I absolutely hate this. Here is a link to the post you can click instead of the keep reading button! 

The ATX stream started mid-sentence, meaning I missed the “Previously On... 2020...” title card and skipped right to Adrian saying “I’m retiring.” It was pretty easy to pick up on the device (the directness of the scenes at the start, their cadence, and their placement in the episode made it clear this was meant to mimic a Previously) but the second title card hit way harder because... well, I had no idea if this was meant to be 2020 or some moment outside of real time until a bit later in the episode.  

Man, before I get any farther into this, two things that I don’t know where else to put. First, this episode had to cover so much ground. They had to write out both Adrian and Lucca—more on that later--, figure out how to deal with all of 2020, figure out how to either wrap up or continue all the truncated season 4 plotlines, and set the stage for a new season... in 50 minutes.  

Second, just wanna shout out the Kings’ other Paramout+ show, Evil, which you should absolutely be watching even if you hate horror. Evil is a Kings show, so it is unsurprisingly topical (sometimes evil takes the form of racism or misogyny or Scott Rudin) and at times very, very funny. I would be recapping it if Paramount+ weren’t attacking me personally by airing it at the same time as TGF. Ever hear of too much of a good thing, people?! (On that note, I am VERY upset with myself for not having made a Good vs Evil joke about the Good shows and Evil. I didn’t even think about it until Robert King made the joke on Twitter, and it was right fucking there. How did I fail so miserably?!)  

So STR Laurie, who wants a 20% downsizing, is still a thing. Noted.

This scene with Landau is the only one in this previously that is actually old footage, right?  

Unexpected Margo Martindale! Yay! (Ruth Eastman is a character who is so much more effective on Fight than she was on Wife and I’m quite glad they’ve had her appear on Fight several times. It kind of redeems season seven. Kind of.)

I don’t think the writers intentionally chose for Adrian’s book deal to be with Simon & Schuster because it is the most politically fraught publisher (the number of stories about controversial memoirs they’ve picked up in 2021 alone...) but I kind of like that Adrian’s Road Not Taken involves S&S. My guess is they chose S&S because it is owned by ViacomCBS.  

“Years ago, I wanted to create a law firm run entirely by women, but it never worked out. So, why not now?” Diane says to Liz. One of the advantages of having twelve (!!!) seasons of Diane Lockhart is that we’ve seen what she’s talking about. And we’ve seen her put this idea forward multiple times, too. I have my reservations about Diane’s brand of feminism, and I’ll say more about how fraught a Diane/Liz firm would be as the show explores the potential issues there, but on the surface I’m kind of excited about the prospect of a Diane/Liz led firm. Diane has wanted this for ages, Liz is a good partner, and this actually makes sense (unlike the nonsensical Diane/Alicia alliance of late season seven, where the only rationale was “well, Alicia needs to betray Diane in the finale, but they’re not on good terms. So maybe we make them business partners so then the betrayal stings more?”). Plus I fully love that Diane would end up running a firm with Alicia’s law school rival.

(Has TGF mentioned that Liz and Alicia were law school rivals? No. Am I still clinging on to that as a large part of Liz’s character? ABSOLUTELY.)

Julius is on trial for Memo 618 reasons; Diane is defending him. So this is still happening. (There’s more old footage here.)  

Do they put these references to one/two party consent in these episodes as a wink at the fans? It has to be intentional. (Please do not ask me what the actual law is on this, this show has thoroughly confused me.)  

I knew Cush was filming stuff for TGF, but I didn’t know it was for the premiere. She was just posting about it a few weeks ago, so either they shot a lot of it right before air or she posted a while after filming. Anyway, yay Lucca!  

Bianca’s still around. And, TGF gets to shoot New York for New York, since Bianca is there. I do wish TGF could do more location shoots; there’s something about seeing an actual skyline that feels more real.  

Bianca wants Lucca, who has never been outside of the country (except to St. Lucia, as Bianca reminds her) to go to London and buy her a resort. It’s supposed to be a three week stay and Bianca’s already arranged childcare. Speaking of children, because of COVID and filming constraints, that’s Cush’s real kid in this scene! You can’t really see him, but I recognized his curly hair from Cush’s Instagram, and the Kings confirmed in an interview.  

Adrian wants to write a book about police brutality cases he’s worked on. Ruth very much does not want him to write that book. She wants him to write a book without substance about how white people and black people can work together. He, understandably, has no interest in writing this book. (Also, you can see in the background that Ruth doesn’t think Biden’s odds of winning the Democratic primary are good—there is a big down arrow next to his picture, which definitely dates this scene.)

Oh, David Lee is in this episode. He acts like an asshole towards Marissa when she’s trying to help him.  

Marissa, not happy with the lack of respect, calls Lucca for advice “for a friend.” Lucca mentions she’s in London and Marissa does not believe her and keeps going on and on about her frustrations and her new desire to become a lawyer—quickly.  

Marissa wanting to become a lawyer because she “hates being talked down to” is not a plot I would’ve expected but it’s also one that makes a lot of sense. I think Marissa’s used to being respected and praised even when she’s doing things that aren’t glamorous, so I see how she’d get very restless when she’s no longer outperforming expectations and is instead taken for granted.  

Bells toll in the background on Lucca’s side and Marissa asks where she is. Lucca again notes she’s in London and Marissa still doesn’t believe her.

I’m going to miss Lucca so much, especially since we’ll also be losing a lot of the Millennial Friendship scenes with her. Cush is fantastic (even if she never really got enough to do here) and she plays so well off of the rest of the cast. I even sometimes liked the writing for Maia (who?) when she had scenes with Lucca, Lucca is that good.  

Jay wakes up sweating and unable to breathe, so he deliriously calls his father-figure Adrian. This whole scene is shot like something out of Evil and (I’m getting ahead of myself here) this plot is the only thing about this episode I felt was a misstep.  

“I think you’re my father,” Jay says to Adrian. Heh, I didn’t catch this line the first time around (maybe subliminally I did, since I just called Adrian his father figure lol) but I love that it is included here. Adrian and Jay’s relationship definitely deserves a goodbye.

Adrian calls an ambulance and also gets to Jay before the ambulance somehow. Adrian notes that Jay might have “this thing from China” and... we’re doing the pandemic, y’all. (Minor nitpick: on March 13th, 2020, when this scene is dated, COVID was not “this thing from China”-- we were all aware of it. March 11th was the day Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they’d tested positive and the NBA shut down and travel was restricted and every single brand that had my email sent me a message about their plans and measures. March 12th was the last time I was in my office, and we’d been getting emails telling us to wash our hands and prepare to work remotely for weeks. I went to San Francisco in mid-late February and distinctly remember deciding to leave a burrito unattended on a table while I washed my hands because I was paranoid about COVID... and then I remember making a specific trip to Walgreens to buy hand sanitizer so that didn’t happen again. My point is, Adrian lives in the same world I do. On March 13th 2020, he would not be treating COVID like it was some new thing he’d vaguely heard of.)  

(I am going to nitpick this timeline, but please know that I’m only doing it because I can, not because I think it’s necessarily a bad choice. Lines like this do feel a little forced, but I see the reason for introducing COVID as something new rather than going for the line that’s exactly historically accurate. I also am pretty sure there are references to dates in March/April in s4 of TGF that are now going to be contradicted by this episode, but I truly do not care. The writers get a pass on this one.)  

We skip slightly back in time to the beginning of March after the MARCH 13TH title card, or maybe this is supposed to be after March 13th and my own memories are preventing me from believing these face-to-face interactions were happening. Who knows.

Michael Bloomberg is... here, again, I guess? He asks Diane to assist with a Supreme Court case about gun control. I guess it does add some weight to the plot and make the stakes feel higher.  

Oh hey, this case is the 7x17 case!!!! Love that continuity.  

Diane and Adrian are both at the office late, working, and there is an unnecessary split screen that feels even more unnecessary when you consider that the editing alone was enough to create the parallel.  

Diane and Adrian have a nice convo (which I’ll really miss, their dynamic is great and this really feels like a successful partnership) as they wait for the elevator. When the elevator dings, they nearly tumble down into nothingness because... the elevator never came. Apparently this is a reference to an law old show I’ve never seen that killed off a character this way, and it’s meant to be a wink at how they are not going to kill off Adrian.

I do not know why I remember this, but I do: after they killed off Will, a critic (Noel Murray; I just googled to confirm my memory) who didn’t want to spoil things tweeted, “Exactly 23 years and 2 days ago, Rosalind Shays fell down an elevator shaft.” Please tell me why I remember this reference that I didn’t even understand well enough to have tracked down the original tweet in under a minute. (https://twitter.com/NoelMu/status/447942456827326464)  

Back on this show, Diane and Adrian share a drink and talk about their wishes. Diane wants to argue in front of the Supreme Court, and Adrian encourages her to speak up. His own near-death experience motivates him to trash the book Ruth has him writing, and Diane trashes the (bad) legal strategy someone else prepared for the Supreme Court.

DIANE IS WEARING JEANS!!!!!! Tbh, I think my favorite part of this episode is how many slice-of-life scenes and settings we get. These are always my favorite moments. I love the satirical and political stuff too, but the character moments are what get me invested enough to write these. (Yes, Diane in jeans constitutes a character moment.)  

Diane tells Bloomberg she wants to be involved and advocates for herself. Kurt gets a call on their landline (hahaha) from Adrian.

God, I love Diane and Kurt. Not only is their banter fun, you can just see a different, more relaxed side of Diane in these scenes. Diane tells Kurt she has good news for herself, but bad news for him since she’s arguing for gun control. She asks him to help her prep for court, too.  

So this is before Jay is rushed to the hospital, because now we are back at the hospital with Julius, Diane, and Marissa. I do not believe any of these people would be setting foot in a hospital like it’s any other day on March 13th, 2020. But I'm trying not to nitpick.

I get why they chose to give Jay a rather severe case of COVID. I just don’t get literally anything else that follows from the initial shock of Jay having COVID.  

I see why the writers chose March 20th (the actual Illinois stay at home order) as the next date for this timeline. I still do not believe that people were in this particular office on that date.  

You know what else I don’t believe? That RBL just shut down for two weeks and was like, no work is being done. Did law firms really do this? I can believe it if it’s an excuse to cost-cut, and I know there were massive layoffs, but this seems... really weird???  

Why are they setting up a teleconferencing infrastructure (didn’t they have one at LG? In season five?) if they are not planning to do work?  

Lol Diane explains what Zoom is, very slowly. She asks everyone to “download a program called Zoom.com” which is one of the first Zoom jokes I’ve chuckled at in a while.  

Marissa is not happy to hear that there’s no work for her in a work-remote world (this I believe 100%), so she calls Lucca again with more questions about law school.

Love these NYC and London location shots. Wish they could do that for Chicago.

Lucca asks Bianca to help get Marissa into a law school, fast, and Bianca tells Lucca to use her name... then offers her a job.

Marissa is at the office, alone, boxing up her things, when one of the office phones rings with some dude offering her a spot in a law school class. I guess we are really all-in on this! (Why would Lucca have given a firm phone number not specific to Marissa, though?)

Adrian and his corrupt girlfriend decide to shelter in place together. I still do not understand why he is okay with her being corrupt. I also don’t really understand why they’re going from talking about sheltering-in-place to George Floyd. How did we just skip from late March to late May? Are Adrian and corrupt gf having a conversation about sheltering-in-place two months into sheltering in place?  

Okay, I am not doing so good at this no-nitpicking thing. Again, I understand why they need to merge several scenes into one to keep things moving. And I guess they could just be getting around to this conversation.

I’m going to nitpick again, I can’t help myself. How did we just go from a scene of Adrian specifically talking about sheltering in place to a scene of Adrian bursting into a bustling and maskless DNC headquarters room? How!? The only masks in this scene are on TV!! There are like ten people in this scene!  

Anyway, more importantly, Adrian tells Ruth off and screams at her that she needs to listen to him instead of acting like she knows the way forward. He is completely right.  

Why is travel from London closing down in May 2020? Is it because this scene is supposed to be at a different place in the episode? Liz is asking Lucca to come back home from her three week stay in London (which has now lasted three months but travel is just now closing down), and Lucca’s hesitant to come home.

This is all happening via Zoom, btw. Lucca’s in her hotel, Diane and Adrian are at their respective homes, and Liz is in the office. All of this feels right. There is a chat off to the side of the screen where you can see Adrian and the others discussing how to unmute on Zoom. Very real. Though probably not very real in late May 2020. Feels more like April. I am convinced this scene got spliced in later to help the episode flow because everything in this scene (except the TV footage that definitely was added later) feels like it should be happening in the March section.  

Lucca mentions that Bianca offered her a job, and at this point we as viewers know how things are going to go—Lucca's going to end up taking it. Liz types in the Zoom chat that they don’t want to lose Lucca. When Lucca tells them how much Bianca’s offering ($500k/year, go Lucca!), Diane types “Shit.” into the chat. “Shit’s right,” Liz replies. “Yes... What should our counter be?” Diane replies. Lucca is kind enough to point out the messages are not private (again, this feels like March not May) but I think knowing that their reaction to topping $500k is “shit” tells her all she needs to know.  

Diane’s background still says that RBL is a division of STR Laurie. Weird how little we are hearing about the overlords except the 20% staff cut.  

Liz and Adrian chat and decide the only way to keep Lucca is to make her a partner. Which, yeah, if you’d just made her a partner years ago when you told her she was in the running for partner and then offered it to fucking MAIA, maybe she wouldn’t be considering Bianca’s offer. Lucca is definitely one of RBL’s stars, and I don’t think she’s wrong to feel like they don’t value her enough. They treat her well enough to be upset about losing her, but not well enough to have already made her partner and not well enough to actually give her authority (even though she runs a whole department). I’d be pretty unhappy too. It kind of feels sometimes like they take her for granted, and I don’t know that Lucca is one to feel like she owes a company anything. She’s more of an “I’m out for myself” type.  

Madeline and the other partner we’ve seen a few times who isn’t Liz/Diane/Adrian, walk into the office (wearing masks! Which they take off as soon as they enter a room with Liz! Without asking her if she is okay with this! TV logic!) and ask who is replacing Adrian. They think this is a good time to reevaluate having a white name partner of an African American firm, and they are spot on. Liz tries to deflect, noting that Diane is already a name partner and was before Liz even joined, but Madeline and other partner (whose name I really wish they would say so I can stop calling him “other partner”) won’t let up. Their position is that Diane shouldn’t have been made a name partner then—all she did was bring in ChumHum, an account that quickly left the firm. Good point.  

“What is this firm if it’s not African American? It’s just another midsized all-service Midwestern law firm, one of 50,” Madeline argues. The other partner says Liz needs to remove Diane and promote two African Americans to name partner. Liz laughs and asks if they mean themselves. Madeline does not—she's concerned about the number of black associates they’re letting go. Liz heads out, but this conversation is very much ongoing.

And I think it’s a very interesting dilemma! There’s a lot of mileage the writers can get out of this, because I don’t think there’s a right answer or a wrong one. It’s all about what Liz decides she wants the future of the firm to be. If Liz chooses Diane, she might be choosing something that works for her personally or that she thinks is a safer financial bet—but she’ll be choosing to work at a firm that can no longer be thought of as a black firm, and she’ll be choosing to move away from her father’s vision for the firm. And since the plot hinges on what Liz will decide rather than what’s objectively the right path forward, there’s a lot of interesting tension there I can’t wait to see.  

(My favorite thing about Adrian leaving is that Liz will likely get more to do, especially when it comes to managing the firm. Adrian tends to speak up first, but Liz is more than capable of managing without him and I’m so excited to see what she does when her ex-husband isn’t constantly talking over her.)  

Marissa and Lucca video chat with Jay. He’s still in the hospital. One thing that bugs me about how this episode handles COVID is that I never really get the sense that any of the characters are particularly afraid of the virus. Maybe none of them were. But you’d think you’d see a little of that fear, the weird dance of trying to assess others’ comfort levels with masking, etc., in an ep specifically about living through this time. ESPECIALLY since someone they all know and are close to has been hospitalized for MONTHS with this thing! It’s just so weird to go from a scene where people wear masks until they come in contact with other people (when masks matter the most) to a scene of someone in the hospital with COVID.  

And now Jay’s weird hallucinations start as his battery dies on the video chat. I really, truly, hated these hallucinations. I was ready to be done with these from the second they started. They’re weirdly shot, they go on for too long, and they feel like the clunkiest parts of Mind’s Eye when Alicia starts having a debate in her mind about atheism mixed with the (far superior) hospital episode of Evil.  

I don’t have much to say about these hallucinations except that I hated them a lot. When there’s the reveal that Jay is hallucinating a commerical, I almost came around on the hallucinations because that’s kind of funny and inspired. And then several more hallucinations popped up and they had a round table and Jesus got added to the mix and I was like, nope, this is bad in a very uninteresting way. I reject this.  

I feel like the Kings didn’t have much to say about COVID, the actual virus. This episode is definitely more about what the characters’ lives were like during COVID and not the pandemic itself. I think they likely got a lot of their COVID commentary out of their system with their zombie COVID show The Bite (I have not seen The Bite due to it airing on Spectrum On Demand, which I have no way of accessing. Like, I would have to move and then decide to pay for cable in order to watch it.) I also suspect a lot of their commentary on COVID isn’t going to be specific to the virus and is instead going to be about things like mask-wearing and vaccinations becoming political. And, really, that’s just a new variation on talking about polarization... and they’ve been talking about polarization for years.

In fact, they even wrote a whole series about an outbreak of a (space-bug-spread) virus that caused political polarization before Trump was even elected. BrainDead is basically commentary on the pandemic before the pandemic even happened. Soooooo I get why they are more interested in recapping 2020 than in doing a Very Special Episode about themes they’ve been talking about for years. (I still think they would’ve benefitted from at least one character being afraid of getting sick or getting their family sick.)  

There is likely some interesting content in these Jay hallucinations. I hate them so much I cannot find it. You know when you’re just on a completely different wavelength than the writers? This is an example of that.  

Also I’m not a fan of the shadowy directing. I think this is meant to look cooler than it does.  

Have I mentioned yet that I absolutely love the “Previously On” device for this episode? It’s such a fun, propulsive way to get through the slog of 2020. Scenes can be short and to the point, and each scene has to do a lot of lifting to fill in the gaps. I think that leads to scenes that are better constructed and telling on lots of levels—where are people when they’re quarantined? Who’s wearing casual clothes and when? What about this scene defines this character’s life at that moment in time?  

Bizarrely, even though this episode is pretty much all plot (this happens! Then that!), I actually found this to be one of the most character-driven episodes TGF has ever done. There’s a lot of story, but most of that story is about how the characters reacted to 2020 rather than overarching plots that will weigh on the rest of the season. This episode covers a lot of ground, but it does it with character moments that resonate.  

Now it’s July and Diane’s prepping to argue in front of the Supreme Court. Kurt’s helping her witness prep and it gets a little personal... and that ends up turning Diane on. Good to see McHart hasn’t lost its spark. (Remember how Kurt cheated on Diane in season 7 of Wife? No, me neither, because that never happened.)  

Corrupt judge is back. Adrian playfully tries to distract her from work. Then he takes a video call from Liz, who updates him on the conversation she had with John (so that’s his name) and Madeline. I guess that part of May was close to July? Anyway, Adrian isn’t surprised to hear that people are upset at the prospect of Diane being one of two name partners.  

Liz is at the office in workout clothes and I love it!

They’re losing 15 black associates (and Adrian and Lucca) and 4 white ones, Liz says. This sounds like a very big problem. (I’d be curious to know what that is as a percentage of the firm and how the racial composition shifts.)

Liz knows it’s not exactly up to her if Diane stays on as name partner (the other partners get a vote, but I think Liz knows she has a lot of sway here). She’s also wondering if Biden could win, and if so, would it be to the firm’s advantage to be black-owned? Interesting.  

“Well. If you’re thinking it, then Diane’s thinking it, too,” Adrian says. He’s right. “White guilt. It runs verrrrry deep on that one, huh?” Ha. He is right about that, too. I actually can’t decide which of these interpretations is correct, because it could be either even though they seem contradictory. (1) Is Adrian saying it with a hint of mockery because he knows Diane will fight for her partnership even as she would say she’s a huge supporter of black businesses? (2) Is he saying it because he knows Diane would have enough white guilt to realize what her presence as a partner means and think through the implications? I think it is, somehow, a combination. I’m interested in this line because this whole dilemma (from Diane’s POV) is something that’s very familiar. Diane’s always been an idealist who will betray her ideals for personal gain. That sounds like an attack, but I mean that as neutrally as I possibly can. There are so many examples of this that this is kind of just a character trait of hers at this point. Usually those ideals are about feminism, but this situation seems closely related.  

Adrian overhears Corrupt GF talking about Julius, Diane, and Memo 618. You would think she would wait to have this conversation until there is no chance of Adrian overhearing, because if Adrian overhears, he might...

... do exactly what he proceeds to do and hop into a car with Diane to give her a heads up. (I think I’m just going to have to accept that the mask usage rule on this episode is “we use masks to show that the characters would wear them, but we don’t want to have scenes where characters are fully masked because that’s annoying.” If that’s not the rule, then why else would Adrian be masked outside... and then take off his mask as soon as he gets into a confined indoor space with Diane?  

Baranski looks ESPECIALLY like Taylor Swift in this scene.  

Adrian tells Diane what he knows. He dug deeper after overhearing Charlotte, so he has even more info. “If you tell me, I will use it,” Diane warns. Adrian knows that, so he takes a moment to decide. And he decides that he cares more about Diane and Julius than about his relationship with a corrupt judge.  

Diane and Julius are masked in court. Visitor and the judge are not. They use masking in a clever way in this scene: Diane uses being masked to her advantage because it means no one can possibly read her lips, so she can use the info Adrian fed her against Charlotte without any fear of spies. Charlotte, who is unmasked, guards her lips with a folder, as the Visitor watches interestedly.  

Diane convinces Charlotte to recuse herself. Charlotte says she’s making a mistake; Diane does not care.  

The new judge is, unfortunately, the idiot who doesn’t know anything about the law. Uh oh.

Charlotte decides she’s done sheltering in place with Adrian. He tries to talk through the conflict, but Charlotte says “You made your choice, Adrian. Julius Cain over me.”

“The choice was about right and wrong, Charlotte,” Adrian tries to explain. I mean, yeah, but if you’re dating a judge who has admitted she’s totally corrupt, didn’t right and wrong go out the window a while ago?

Adrian seems to think the other people involved in the events are bad and Charlotte is good. I am not convinced. I don’t think she’s the big bad, but I don’t think she’s good.  

Charlotte points out that he invaded her privacy. She is right about that. “You said the choice was between right and wrong. Turning over my emails was the choice,” she said. I get her POV. But also, she is corrupt.  

I do not like the way the part of the scene where Adrian physically restrains Charlotte to keep her from leaving is shot. I don’t think this is an abusive scene but I think it should’ve been shot from a little farther back so we could see it’s more like Adrian reaching out in desperation than trying to choke Charlotte. Because it very much looks like he is trying to choke Charlotte.  

He tells Charlotte he loves her. She says it’s too late and leaves. “Maybe you won’t be with me. But you keep down this path... you’ll be done, I’m telling you, you’ll be done.”

I think something that I’ve been missing in these interactions is that I didn’t quite realize until this scene that the Adrian/Charlotte dynamic is more interesting than Adrian liking a corrupt judge. I think he truly believes Charlotte is a good person who got caught up in some bad stuff, and that she can bounce back from it. I’ve always seen Charlotte as someone who is corrupt for herself and then ended up going along with the corruption of others, too, so I’ve dismissed her and the relationship. This is the first scene that has felt real to me, and the first scene where she’s felt like more than a caricature. Kind of sad it’s the last she’ll get with Adrian—now I’m actually starting to find her interesting. Notice how in these last few sentences I’ve used her name instead of “Corrupt GF”!  

Charlotte says she loved Adrian too, but that’s not enough. Awww.

He can’t really be surprised though, can he?  

Now it is August and we get to see Diane and Liz react to the announcement of Kamala Harris as Biden’s VP pick, and I would like to thank the writers for giving me the opportunity to see Diane and Liz react to this. It’s kind of fan-service, but it’s also a nice tie-in to the girl-power theme of the Diane/Liz alliance.

Diane and Liz realize that Adrian’s probably not a good candidate for 2024 if the DNC only wants one black candidate and Harris is the clear front-runner. Liz suggests keeping him on as partner instead, in a way that very much implies this would be her ideal solution. Diane, being Diane, says she was liking the idea of an all-female firm. Liz hesitantly says she was too, and Diane senses the hesitation.

“Let’s look again at which associates to fire. I’m worried we’re losing too many African Americans,” Diane switches the subject. How have they still not made this decision? If any employees know downsizing is coming, and they’ve had months to act on it, assuming there are jobs elsewhere, people would’ve been jumping ship by now.  

But that’s not the point of this scene. The point of this scene is that Liz corrects Diane: “Black. You can just say Black people.” Very nice moment underlining the tension. Diane means well, but she’s still acting like a white lady who doesn’t know how to act around black people... and she wants to (and, I guess, already does) run a black firm. Major yikes.  

Marissa and Lucca are talking again. Marissa does not want to be in law school—she just wants to be a lawyer. Lucca won’t accept Marissa’s refusal to memorize meaningless rules: “Marissa. I know that you know how to play the game, but you have to pass the bar to get into a position to play the game.” Why does this line make me love Lucca? This line isn’t even anything amazing. It’s just a line that cuts through the bullshit and makes a good point.  

Marissa keeps going, insulting all of her peers and teachers, and Lucca figures out how to cut through that, too: she tells Marissa that she’d hire her as a lawyer if she killed someone, but only if Marissa passes the bar. Marissa is instantly intrigued.  

“Why are you leaving here? I’ll miss you,” Marissa says.  

“Because they won’t pay me what I deserve,” Lucca says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Anyway, I thought they fired you.”  

“But they didn’t mean it. It’s like the smoothie place—they kept trying to fire me and I just kept showing up,” Marissa replies. That checks out. (Love the callback!)  

Lucca tries to get Marissa to come over to England. Marissa shuts that down as Lucca gets a news alert—and it’s not good news.  

Our next date is September 18th, 2020 and I will get my nitpicks out of the way up front! I don’t really know why it is daytime for Lucca when she reads the news, considering it was already the evening in the States when the RBG news broke. And, also, it was Rosh Hashanah, so Marissa probably would not have been sitting in her bedroom studying... she most likely would’ve been with family or friends. OK I’M DONE. FOR NOW.  

Diane is getting ready for her arguments in front of the Supreme Court. It’s almost time! She’s in casual clothes but has on a wonderful mask. She’s standing in front of Kurt’s guns to make a point (love that she’s using her video call background to her advantage) and there are several people in her bedroom getting the tech all set up. I have noted before that they only built one set for Diane’s apartment, and it’s just a massive bedroom. Diane choosing to be in front of the guns does a nice job of cutting off my question about why she’d be arguing in front of the Supreme Court from her bedroom rather than the home office she absolutely would have.  

Kurt walks in and tries to shake hands... he’s clearly not very COVID paranoid, and Diane seems to be, and... that’s something I might have wanted to see? How was Diane okay with Kurt taking risks that also affected her?

Diane confirms she intentionally chose to stand in front of the guns. That’s when Kurt gets the push notification. He pulls Diane into the bathroom to show her the news. He hands her his phone and Diane’s face falls. She starts tearing up. “2020 just won’t let go,” she says, speaking for us all.

Normally I hate things that are like, we’re going to contrive this so the news hits at the worst possible moment! This works for me, because the Supreme Court plot for Diane feels more like something that exists to be a through line for the episode. It would also be a little hard to work in RBG’s death as a main plot point—and it is definitely important enough to be a main plotpoint—if it didn’t also affect something in the world of the show.  

Also, another reason I like this contrivance is that it makes it all the more powerful when Diane says, “It’s over. He gets to nominate someone. Another Kavanaugh! We’ll have a conservative court for the next 20 years. My whole fucking life!” She’s not thinking about how this affects her case (and that case is basically a life-long dream for her). She is thinking about way bigger things, and knowing that her mind goes to the bigger things before the personal with news like this really underlines how big of a deal RBG’s death was.  

Diane tells Kurt, “I don’t deserve you. You don’t agree with me.” “I can still feel bad for you,” he responds. He holds her while she cries.

Jay’s hallucination thing is back. Now Karl Marx is here. So is Jesus. I’m so done with this. It’s nice to get a break from writing.

Malcolm X is also on the roundtable and now they’re talking over each other in that way that everyone on this show always does. (RK gave an interview about Evil where he said he likes having the children on that show talk over each other because he grew up in a household like that. I did not need to read that interview to understand that RK likes scenes where people talk over each other.)  

If anything happened in those hallucinations, I missed it, because I didn’t pause the episode. Because I do not care about the hallucinations. Because I hate them.

Now it’s November 2020... Diane’s watching election results and rocking back and forth. She tells Kurt he can go watch Fox News in the other room (so they do have more than one room!). He says he’s fine—he thinks Diane needs it more.  

“Yes, but Kurt, if you stay, I know this isn’t sensible, but... Trump seems to get more votes whenever you’re sitting on this couch,” Diane tells him. Ha, I relate to this kind of superstition so hard. “Are you serious?” Kurt says. “I am so deathly serious,” Diane responds. “Whenever you’re sitting here, Arizona goes for Trump. Humor me, please. Just go in the other room.”  

When Kurt tries to kiss her, she pulls away: “No, no, no. No kiss. If you kiss me, we’ll lose Georgia.” This scene feels so, so real and perfectly captures what it was like (at least for me, though I don’t have a Republican husband or anything) watching election results come in.  

“Uh, if you lose, we’ll be fine, right?” Kurt asks. “Kurt, let me just say this. I’m only saying that we won’t be fine so that the universe will grant me a win,” Diane responds. This scene is so fun and so good! It simultaneously captures a relatable mood, adds some levity, gives us a window into Diane’s life, and shows some of the tensions in her marriage?! I want this all the time!  

Kurt leaves the room. Diane pours more wine.

Later, with Diane still rocking back and forth with anxiety (just you wait for the several more days this will drag on!), Kurt brings in the champagne. “That was for when Hillary won. I can only drink it if Biden wins,” Diane protests. Did I also refuse to drink any celebratory alcohol until things were absolutely certain? No comment.  

“It’s odd you progressives resisted religion. You seem to have a hundred religions to take its place,” Kurt says, speaking on behalf of the writers’ room. (This joke doesn’t get written if the writers don’t believe this and probably even see it in themselves.)  

“Go away, Trump. I mean Kurt,” she shoos him away. Have I mentioned yet I love this scene?  

“Love me even if you lose?” he jokes (though I do wonder if this isn’t that joking? I think it is, but he keeps saying it!) as Diane gestures at him to get out.  

I could do without the joke about Diane’s heart on the TV for a couple reasons. One, it goes on too long. Two, I was very worried something would actually happen to Diane. You’d think that would make the scene feel more tense, but it does not, because it takes me out of the moment.

“Ok, God. You know I don’t believe in you. But I will believe in you if Joe Biden wins. I’m sorry. I know that that’s not what Jesus taught. There’s nothing in the New Testament that says, ‘Believe in me, and I’ll make sure your candidate wins,’ but I need Joe Biden to win. I’m sorry, God, but I just do. I need some faith.” This is a little much but... yeah. Also, is this the first time Diane’s flat out said she’s an atheist? I think it is, though I’ve assumed as much for quite a while.  

The next day in court, masks are no longer required if you’re a series regular and votes are still being counted. I remember those days. Marissa thought Diane was checking in on Jay... Diane was not. She was checking on vote counts.  

Apparently Jay’s finally being released from the hospital!

Bad news for Julius—the idiot judge finds him guilty of some nonsense charge and sentences him to seven years in prison.  

Diane says not to worry, and Julius asks “Why not?” Good point.

Then we have election results! We skip, specifically, to December 14th and the electoral college vote. I’m a little sad we skipped over the huge party that was November 7th, but I get why they’d rather keep things moving along. I think showing November 7th in an uncomplicated way would’ve just been too close to fanservice. But, man, what a day.  

Diane, in a red hoodie with leopard print that she somehow manages to still look classy in, is ready to pop champagne. Then she hears that on January 6th, a joint session of Congress will count the electoral votes and there might be a debate. “Nope. If I open it now, something bad will happen,” she reasons. “I’ve waited four years. I can wait another few weeks.”

It’s been almost a year and they’re still somehow negotiating with Lucca, but I understand why they’d space this out across the episode. Otherwise we’d have to say goodbye to Lucca in the first like, 15 mins of the episode and all those scenes would be in a row. I can forgive (and still nitpick) choices like this when the reasoning behind them seems sound.  

Adrian says they don’t want to lose Lucca. He, Liz, and Diane are all in the conference room, and they ask Lucca for a yes or no on their latest offer by the end of the call. Diane offers Lucca partner—she'll be the youngest partner in the firm’s history—and she’ll get a $500,000/year salary. Adrian tries to sell her on being part of American history by being part of the firm.

“We are a black firm, Lucca, and we need you,” Liz says with a lot of passion for someone who knows she might very well partner with Diane. Diane looks at Liz with a bit of suspicion at this, wondering if Liz is showing her cards.  

Lucca manages to make the wifi malfunction (or she gets very lucky) and uses the disconnection to call Bianca for a counteroffer, even though they said they needed a yes or no on the spot.  

“They used George Floyd because they want you for less. They have never appreciated you as much as I do. All those scars, all that time being taken for granted and undervalued has made you a fighter. It’s made you someone I now want,” Bianca tells Lucca. She gives Lucca a counter offer of $1.3 million and the title of CFO. Lucca takes it. Is there really another choice? (If she were concerned about loyalty to the firm and the partnership was what she wanted, she probably would've just taken it.)  

(Also, the partners can’t really act like Lucca is making history by being the youngest partner ever when they passed her over for partner two years earlier and offered it to Maia! To MAIA! Who had like three years of work experience! And yes I was fine with Alicia and Cary getting partnership offers with four years but, one, that was a scam, and two, Alicia and Cary actually worked. Oh, I see I still hate Maia with a passion. Back to THIS season...)

Lucca apologetically informs Marissa she’s leaving and the offer was just too good to turn down. I believe it. I also believe Lucca wants that job more. What has loyalty to RBL gotten her? She's someone so talented and good at her job that she just gets job offers from acquaintances all the time (starting with Alicia!). RBL appreciates her, but just enough to appease her while still undervaluing her. I don’t know that I would’ve believed a plot where Lucca actively job hunts, but I definitely believe this.

“Marissa, we don’t have to work together to be friends,” Lucca tells Marissa. I’m going to miss this so much. Why is this the best material Lucca’s gotten in ages?! I think one of the things that makes Lucca such a great character is that you can see why everyone instantly wants her on their team. She’s a fantastic friend (without giving too much of herself), she’s not a pushover, and she is incredibly sharp and able to get to the heart of any situation. I love her and I’m sad we won’t get to see more of her.  

(On that bit about friendship—I can’t write about Lucca’s departure without writing about the moment I realized just how great of a character Lucca was. It was in 7x13, when Alicia has her breakdown that’s seven seasons in the making... and Lucca supports her. But the writing, and Cush’s performance, never make it feel like Lucca exists to be a part of Alicia’s story. Lucca seems like her own fully formed person who happens to be supporting Alicia at this moment. I don’t think I can overstate how tough of a task it is to get me to care about the other person in a pivotal Alicia scene, especially when that other person was added to the cast in the final season and many suspected she’d just be a replacement for a different beloved character! Anyway, Lucca’s been great for years, and I’ll miss her.)  

Just when I thought I couldn’t hate the hallucinations more, we get a hint that they are going to continue: Jay sees one right after he learns that Marissa’s used her quarantine to start law school and he’s done nothing.  

Jay says he carries a gun now and it’s “performative.” I have no idea what that means and Marissa and Lucca don’t seem to, either.  

Another thing I like about Lucca’s final scene is that it isn’t rushed. We have time for all that, and also for Lucca to tell Marissa about the time she stole her breakfast sandwich, and for Marissa to react to it, and for Marissa to find Lucca’s Birkin bag, and for Lucca to tell Marissa to keep it, and for Marissa to react to that, and for Lucca to sappily say “think of me when you use it,” and for Marissa to nonsensically reply, “you think of me when I use it,” and there’s still a little bit more of the scene after that!  

Marissa’s silly line makes Lucca tear up. “God, I’m gonna miss you guys,” she says. “I’m gonna miss this. You make me smile. I didn’t smile much before you guys.” Awwwwwww. This is also so true to character! Her friendship with Alicia aside, Lucca’s definitely said before she’s not one to have friends (which is hilarious because she is, as I've said like 100 times, a fantastic friend and also just like, the coolest person??? Who wouldn’t want to be HER friend?!).  

She says she has to go because she’s getting too emotional and says goodbye. She’s also super sappy and when Marissa says, “you were the best,” she responds that they were the best TOGETHER! Awwwwwww.  

What a nice, fitting goodbye for Lucca. There’s no bad blood or fireworks—she just makes a change like a lot of people do. I’d like to think she’ll still be friends with Marissa and Jay after this. I don’t want too many Lucca references in future episodes, but I would really like it if we see Marissa and Jay update each other on the latest from Lucca, or if a scene begins with Marissa closing out an Instagram post from Lucca of her kid, or something. I wouldn’t want clues about what Lucca’s up to, but I’d love to see that she’s still a part of Marissa and Jay’s lives.

Now it is January 6th. Liz, Adrian, and Diane sit on the floor of the mostly empty office, watching TV coverage and drinking. It’s so relaxed it’s almost surreal, and it, like many other moments in this episode, feels like a slice of life. Everyone’s dressed casually and no one is worried about appearances or looking like the boss.  

“God, have you ever seen anything like it. It’s so fucked,” Diane says. Adrian’s more optimistic—the courts rejected most of the challenges to election results! “System worked,” he says. “Yay.” Liz says in response. She’s not as optimistic as he is.  

“Liz. Liz. Sometimes when things work out, there is no parade. There’s no congratulations, but I’ll tell you this: We live to fight another day,” he explains to her even though she makes a good point that a system just barely hanging on doesn’t bode well for the future. (She doesn’t say all this, but that’s a very loaded, “Yay.”)  

“Yeah? Then why are you leaving the law?” Liz asks. Diane seconds to the question.

Adrian announces he’s still retiring—and he’s moving to Atlanta. He wants to go to the south to help “create and consolidate political power.” He’s excited to start over and inspired by Georgia going blue. This is a very nice exit for Adrian. I fully believe that he’s interested in political organizing, that he’d be good at it, and that he’s ready for a change. I don’t think he’s always the most progressive person (of the three in this scene, Liz is absolutely the most progressive one, though Diane probably thinks she is!), but I absolutely think he thinks of himself as an activist and I believe that if he’s going to step away from the law, he’d do so to make a move like this.  

Adrian—and Lucca, but especially Adrian—probably both got better exits thanks to the events of 2020. If Adrian had just left to be groomed by the DNC, that would’ve been a predictable and boring ending for him. His candidacy would, obviously, go nowhere, and the whole thing felt weird from the minute it was introduced. But this? Adrian being energized—like so many others were—by the ways the world changed in 2020 and using his already announced departure from the firm and recent breakup as a chance to start over and make change? This is great!  

Adrian asks Liz and Diane what’s next for them. Liz says that she thinks the Biden admin will be better for black businesses. Adrian asks if they’re replacing him, and Diane says, “I think the big question is, are you replacing me?” She’s smart. I like how this scene goes from friendly to tense very fast, with everyone kind of testing the waters. Adrian tries to force the conversation, Liz opens with something vague yet pointed, and Diane speaks what’s previously been unspoken.

Liz says it’s not her intention to push Diane out. “I can’t change the color of my skin,” Diane replies. “I know,” Liz laughs. Audra’s delivery is fantastic on that line.  

“Hey, I’m gonna fight for my partnership,” Diane says. “I know,” Liz says. The tone of this scene is so different from previous partnership drama on these shows and I’m excited about it. This is just a bunch of adults talking about business decisions with each other and treating each other as equals?? It's not backstabbing?? Or drama?? No one is hiding things?? It’s refreshing and I hope this plot stays like this. We’ve done so much partnership drama that I think drama that stems from a real, pressing question that has no easy answers and isn’t anyone’s fault is going to be much more fruitful for the show.  

Adrian heads out—ah, I see now this scene is set in his empty office and this is why they are on the floor—and gets a nice last moment with Diane. And then they give him a last moment with Liz, which I knew they would but was still glad to see.  

Liz asks if he knows what he’s doing—he says he’s not sure.

Adrian asks if Liz knows where she stands regarding Diane. “It’s going to be interesting,” Liz says. I don’t think she’s decided what she’s going to do yet.

It wouldn’t be an Adrian and Liz scene if Adrian didn’t have some unsolicited advice. “Diane’s a terrific lawyer, but this firm belongs to you.  Your dad built it. He did, Liz. Despite all his faults. You got to run this place the way you want. This is a black firm. And after today, the world needs black firms. You got me?” He tells Liz. He makes it seem like Liz gets the choice and then tells her what to do. She says, “I got it,” signaling she understood him but not that she necessarily agrees.  

I cannot wait to see what Liz does next!!!!!!! About this but just in general!!!!! Without Adrian there giving her constant advice I feel like she can grow so much and the show will have to give her more to do!!! I think Adrian, for all his many wonderful qualities and all he brought to the show, can suck all the air out of a room with his charisma, and Liz usually ends up suffering as a result. She’s such a capable lawyer in her own right, but Adrian has a way of making it always seem like he’s right—even in arguments she wins. I’m excited to see Liz lead (or stumble at leadership; she is fairly new to management) without Adrian’s direct influence.  

Liz walks Adrian out and it’s cute. They run into Marissa and Jay. “Everybody fun is leaving,” Marissa notes. Liz is minorly offended, but playfully. Heh.

Adrian asks Jay how he’s doing; Jay says he’s a long-hauler but he’s doing okay. I like that they included that moment in Adrian’s goodbye sequence. It’s a very little thing, but it underlines that Adrian cares about Jay.  

Then Liz interrupts to note that Trump pardoned a lot of convicted and corrupt Republican officials....... including Julius.  

Everyone celebrates, but especially Diane and Marissa. Diane lets out her wonderful laugh and then we, finally, get to the credits. Because now that the previouslies are over, it’s time for the real show.

The credits are absolutely delightful, btw. I was a little worried some of the kittens would blow up, though! Once I relaxed and realized what they were up to—literal puppies and kittens because Biden won—I couldn’t get enough of these credits. They work so well because they accurately capture the way I (and all of these characters, except maybe Julius and Kurt) feel about the election results, but it’s so exaggerated that you know the kittens and puppies aren’t a realistic representation of our new reality. They’re just too good to be true, but you may as well enjoy them for a minute. I’m sure we’ll be back to exploding vases next week.

What a great episode! My timeline nitpicks and whatever they’re trying to do with Jay aside, I was blown away by how well the writers managed to move on from season 4, tie up loose ends, and write out two main characters. And they did it all while making me revisit the events of 2020, a year I don’t think many of us want to spend much time thinking about! This episode was enjoyable, fun, emotional, and clever. I don’t know what to expect from the rest of the season, but I’m definitely excited about the show in a way I haven’t really been in quite some time.  

This season’s naming convention seems to be titles that end with ... and only have the first word capitalized. I want to see more. 

Season FIVE? There have already been as many TGF seasons as there were TGW seasons prior to Hitting the Fan?! Time flies. 

Please writers: No topical episodes this year-- no pee tape, no Melania divorce, no Epstein. None of that business. 

Sorry if I repeated myself here. I never proofread these things, and I wrote half of this on Saturday and half of it today (Wednesday) and the days in between were an absolute blur so I cannot remember if I said the same things about this episode twice. 

[georgiaswarr]

georgia warr

never been in love - gatlin

a song about wanting to be in love but not being able to be in love, which is very fitting for georgia’s initial situation. i’ve put this at the beginning of this playlist because - spoiler alert - the last song on here is also called never been in love and i think these two songs symbolise georgia’s journey in a very mint way. also, the first line of this song is “that boy from georgia was so sweet” which i think is pretty funny

somebody to love - queen

the title says it all. georgia wants to find somebody to love. i mean, she’s already found them, but we’ll get to that later.

paradise - coldplay

georgia is a big dreamer and yearner and i think this song really encapsulates that on so many levels. i mean “when she was just a girl / she expected the world / but it flew away from her reach / so she ran away in her sleep” that’s georgia !

tous les garçons et les filles - françoise hardy

french song because i’m ~quirky~ but this song is basically about seeing everyone else be in relationships and feeling lonely/wanting one for yourself

waiting for love - avicii

georgia is a hopeless romantic, but she’s still waiting for her own grand romance (she still hasn’t realised that the “love” she’s “waiting for” has already “come around”)

dear no one - tori kelly

georgia “i want someone to be in love with but there is no one” warr, at least at the beginning of the book

chaos - miki fiki

this song can be interpreted with various themes of the book in mind such as yearning for something you don’t have, feeling lonely, emotional turmoil, etc, it’s a banger

i walk a little faster - fiona apple

highjacked from @kindaorangey’s loveless playlist (they’ve done a great rundown here). this song has similar themes to dear no one, anticipating that romance will come to you, but it hasn’t, despite how hard you chase it, how fast you walk

when - dodie

shoutout to @drarrystar for recommending this song to me because so many of the lines reflect georgia to the core. just look up the lyrics and you’ll agree

deeper - ella eyre

“cause i’m scared, i can’t lie / i don’t feel the same inside / i can’t decide if i have the heart to confess” georgia thinks she can learn to love jason romantically if she just digs a little deeper

loneliness for love - lovelytheband

“anything at all not to feel alone / anything at all just to feel whole / ‘cause i keep mistaking loneliness for love”

a little more - alessia cara

“there you are with your college friends / you played in a marching band / i can't help but wish i knew you then / but i guess i know you now // it looks as if i've stumbled right into the palm of your hand // hey, you / hey, mr. knock on my door / i'm sorry that I've been emotions galore / am i crazy for wanting a little bit more? / a little more of you” georgia about sunil. she needs their guidance and wishes he’d been there for her earlier.

stuck in california - rightfield

a song about feeling alone and alienated by everyone and everything around you, and waiting for your “stars to align”, which fits georgia if you ask me

seven - taylor swift

georgiapip song !!!!!! it’s also about how alienating it can be to grow up and lose your childhood innocence, and i have a lot of thoughts about a very specific brand of growing pains that come with being aspec, but that’s a topic for another day

te amo - rihanna

this is a song about having someone be romantically in love with you and the heartbreak that comes from not being able to reciprocate those feelings --> georgia about jason

love love love - of monsters and men

same as te amo. it hits especially hard when you do love the other person so fucking much

ceiling won’t break - finish ticket

this song gives me georgia’s emotional turmoil vibes, also the line “i see no lights ‘cause the lights weren’t aimed at me” can be interpreted in a “cupid’s arrows didn’t hit georgia” way if you get what i mean

lack of emotion - skott

once again we are dealing with themes of not being able to feel the emotions that you “““““should”““““ feel for someone

let me go - hailee steinfeld

another song about georgia and jason’s (romantic) relationship and how it was doomed to fail from the beginning so she hopes he can let her go

i’m so tired - lauv, troye sivan

i’m just thinking about that line in loveless where georgia resentfully realises how many songs are about romantic love. she’s just so tired

crush culture - conan gray

and another song about being resentful of our romance-obsessed society, which georgia certainly is plenty of times throughout the book

home - ella eyre

christmas break time babey !!!! georgia has reached her low point and she’s going home

i love my car - belle & sebastain

“I pressed a cold hand against my car, which was as far up the drive of our house as it could get. I’d missed my car.” - loveless by alice oseman, celebrating all kinds of love since 2020

i’ve never written a song about a boy - eva westphal

this was actually recommended to me by @michaelholdenn for this playlist ! a song about the liberation that comes with not having to force attraction anymore

this is home - cavetown

i think months ago some ask told alice that this is a loveless song and i agree

why can’t we be friends - jordy searcy

this is about georgia’s strained relationship with pip and jason after the bailey ball and how she wishes they could just be friends again, the way they were all throughout their childhood

chiquitita - abba

okay fuckers THIS is literally the LOVELIEST song about friendship and wanting to be there for your loved ones and i’m sure georgia relates

open up - matt simons

“you’re hard to talk to with that wall around you” vs. “rooney had a solid brick wall round some part of her that nobody was allowed to know.” basically, georgia wants rooney to open up to her

just fucking let me love you - lowen

okay, yes, this song is very gay, but i think it can be applied to georgiarooney too ! the frustration this song expresses of wanting to shake someone and scream at them to just fucking let you love them is definitely shown in loveless when it comes to those two

less than i do - the band camino

georgia about pip. she hopes that pip will forgive her eventually. i mean look at the line “i still have your denim jacket” in the song - georgia still has pip’s jacket too, it’s perfect !!!

friends will be friends - queen

if loveless taught us anything it’s that friends sure fuckin will be friends

stick with me - olly murs

“we all get lonely / trying to find a place where we should be / trying to find someone to set us free / there are times a friend is all you need” you know when alice said that every character in the book feels “loveless” in some way at one point or another, but they all learn the value and importance of platonic love? yeah.

your song - moulin rouge

“and then, with three accompanists, i stood on a boat on the river wear and sang ‘your song’ - the version specifically from moulin rouge - to pip quintana, who didn’t yet know me as well as i wished she did, but despite that, was one of my favourite people i had ever met.”

wherever i live - alessia cara

you know the scene after georgia leaves pip and rooney to their first kiss? yeah, this song really reflects that mindset of half loneliness, half acceptance to me. listen to it.

take time - honest men

accepting your identity takes time ! even by the end of loveless there’s still days when georgia wishes she wasn’t aroace and the book presents this in an amazing and properly nuanced way !

die alone - finneas

"you asked me, ‘do you wanna die alone / or watch it all burn down together?’ / i said i’d rather try to hold on to you forever” this song is very much georgiarooney - finding each other in their darkest of days and watching everything they thought they knew (amatonormativity) burn down. together.

no lover - jetty bones

the next few songs are basically just one aro anthem after the next. this is another recommendation from @michaelholdenn - “maybe i don’t need a lover, i just need the friend”

solo - carly rae jepsen

highjacked from @kindaorangey’s loveless playlist. amazing anthem about how it’s okay to be single and how romantic love isn’t as fulfilling as society makes it out to be anyway

trust my lonely - alessia cara

i think in georgia’s case this song can be interpreted as her learning to finally let go of her pre-conceived notions of what love is and what she should want, her learning to “trust her lonely”, though lonely here just means romance-less

love is a town - josh gilligan

“if [romantic] love is a town then i’m passing through" yeah, romance is not for georgia and she’s starting to accept that.

new romantics - taylor swift

the loveless gang is the new romantics !!! they’re redefining love and romance !!!

team - lorde

“and everyone's competing for a love they won't receive / 'cause what this palace wants is release” anyway, let’s go found family song

wild things - alessia cara

now, i don’t know if alessia cara is queer but I DARE YOU to look at the lyrics of wild things and not tell me that this is the ULTIMATE queer anthem about found family and saying fuck you to respectability politics. i DARE you. anyway, loveless is also about found family and saying fuck you to respectability politics so it’s very fitting

never been in love - will jay

full circle babey !!!!! this is THE aro anthem so obviously i had to add it and comparing the “never been in love / and it’s all good” to the “never been in love / and i fucking hate that i couldn’t make it past a crush” message from the first song we can really reflect georgia’s journey of self-acceptance in loveless which i love a lot

[theycallmebecca]

Drabble: The Bet 2020

I never post stories this late... but here we are. The Patriots and Seahawks game ended about 20 minutes ago now... in a shocking fashion. I sat on my couch just staring in disbelief for like two minutes straight.

Anyway... here is the Chris and Ellie drabble I hinted that I was writing earlier tonight. It ended up being centered on Scott more than Chris and Ellie, but I’m not mad about that. 

But here we go, here’s the drabble.

Title: The Bet 2020

Pairing: Chris Evans x OFC Ellie Spencer-Evans

Rating: PG-13

Warning: Language

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission. 

September 20, 2020

Scott watched Chris and Ellie as they worked side by side in the kitchen while he supplied Tommy with cheerios.

As usual on a Sunday morning, Chris was rocking a Patriots shirt and Ellie was wearing a Seahawks shirt. However, neither of them had mentioned the fact that the two teams were playing each other.

If it had been any other couple with a newborn at home, Scott would believe that they didn't know that their teams were playing each other. But it was Chris and Ellie. He knew they knew and he knew they had a bet.

"Should be an interesting game tonight," he said, conversationally.

"Should be," Chris agreed.

"Especially now that the Patriots have a quarterback that can actually run," Ellie muttered under her breath.

With the kitchen island between them, Scott could only imagine what his brother did that made his wife jump and squeal before she whipped around to glare at him.

"Moe! Moe!" Tommy said from beside him, pounding his little fists on the highchair tray.

Turning towards his nephew, Scott saw that the tray was empty. He poured some more cereal out for his nephew and smiled.

"Tankoo," Tommy said before grabbing a fist full of cheerios.

Turning back to Chris and Ellie, he rolled his eyes when they saw them being flirty. Clearly, Ellie had forgiven him for whatever he had done.

"Innocent eyes in the room," he called out.

"Not the worst he's been in the room for," Chris replied with an unapologetic shrug. "Or were you talking about yourself."

Reaching over, Scott put a hand in front of Tommy's face while he used his other hand to flip his brother off.

"Behave," Ellie said, grabbing Chris's hand to keep him from returning the gesture. Then she leveled a look at Scott. "You, too."

Scott smiled innocently in response, making her roll her eyes.

"I'm on to you," she told him. "Both of you."

"That's what you think," Chris said as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. "But we're really good actors."

Ellie scoffed but didn't try to free herself. Instead, she leaned back against him and rolled her eyes for only Scott to see.

Deciding to not beat around the bush anymore, Scott asked, "So what's the bet this time?"

"Bet?" Ellie asked in an almost believable surprised tone. "What bet?"

"Ullbay itshay," Scott responded, saying 'bull shit' in pig latin to get around the no cursing around the babies rule.

Chris snorted and gave him a small thumbs up at his creativity.

Ellie, on the other hand, put a hand to her chest in mock offense. "Are you suggesting that we, two adults, can not see our two teams play without betting on the outcome?" she asked.

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Scott replied. "Because they've played each other twice since we've known you and you betted on both of those games. Not to mention that the two of you betted on which team was going to go farther the first year we knew you."

"And it's 2 to 1, baby," Ellie said, giving a little dance that had Chris grabbing her waist to hold her still to keep things rated PG. "On the way to 3 to 1."

"Uh, no, it's going to be 2 and 2 after today," Chris argued.

"So what is the bet?" Scott asked again.

"Oh, it's nothing big," Ellie replied with a shrug. "Kind of boring, actually."

"I don't know if I would go that far," Chris said with raised eyebrows. "Sometimes, it is. Big, that is."

"If you're talking about what I think you're talking about, I don't want to know anymore," Scott replied.

"Diapers, we're talking about dirty diapers," Ellie told him. "Specifically, poopy diapers. Get your mind out of the gutter, Scott."

Scott glared at Chris for setting him up.

Chris just grinned and gave a small shrug.

"The loser has to change all the poopy diapers for a week," Ellie explained. "I'm looking forward to handing the boys over and not having to deal with any surprise blow outs."

"Imagine all you want, cause it's not happening," Chris stated. "The Patriots are going to whoop the Seahawks."

"Speaking of poopy diapers," Scott said as a smell reached his nose. "I think we have one."

"I'll take care of it," Chris said with a sigh. Walking around the island, he came over to the table. "Let's go change your butt, little guy." He freed Tommy from the highchair and then carried him out of the room.

"So is the bet really just about changing dirty diapers?" Scott asked Ellie as he carried the highchair tray over to dump the leftover cheerios.

"We're keeping it simple this time around," Ellie replied with a shrug. "Your brother is just afraid he'll lose again."

"No I'm not," Chris called from the next room over.

Scott met Ellie's eyes and she mouthed, "yes he is."

"I heard that," Chris called again.

Ellie rolled her eyes and then groaned as Marcus's cries came through the baby monitor.

"My turn," she said.

-----

Hours later, they were all in the family room watching the end of the Los Angeles Chargers vs Kansas City Chiefs game. Ellie had been thrilled when she saw that Justin Herbert, a rookie quarterback from Oregon, started the game for the Chargers. The Chargers had lost in overtime, but it had been an exciting game.

Ellie and Marcus were cuddled in the corner of the sectional couch, Dodger curled up next to them. While Chris and Tommy were on the floor playing with wood puzzles.

"Unca Soot pay," Tommy said, looking up at Scott with a face that Scott couldn't say no to.

Putting his beer on the coffee table, Scott sank down on the floor with him and helped him with a puzzle.

When the game started, Scott moved back up onto the couch with Ellie while Chris stayed on the floor with Tommy. After an exciting pick six by the Patriots to start the game, the Seahawks were able to score their own touchdown. By half time, it was all tied up at 14, with both teams scoring again.

With Chris and Ellie putting the boys to bed during half time, Scott put together the finishing touches on the crockpot dinner he and Ellie had put together earlier in the day.

By the time they came back downstairs, dinner was ready and they carried their food into the family room just in time for the second half of the game to start.

The third quarter saw the Seahawks pull ahead, but the Patriots didn't give up. As the final minutes of the game ticked down, Chris, Ellie and Scott were on the edge of their seats waiting to see how it would all play out.

The Patriots marched down the field and with two second left tried to score the winning touchdown from three yards out.

And failed.

Scott groaned and Chris collapsed back against the couch cushions in complete agony.

Ellie said nothing as she ran her fingers over Chris's short hair. Even she was shocked by the outcome of the game, especially the way it had ended.

"It was a good and exciting game," she finally said after a few minutes. "Right until the last second." Chris and Scott groaned. "Too soon?"

Chris tilted his head and shot her a look that told her he wasn't amused.

"Aw, it's ok, babe," Ellie said, the joy of winning flooding her veins. "I still love you, even if you cheer for shitty teams."

A squeal was the next thing that escaped her lips when Chris lunged for her.

Shaking his head, Scott grabbed the dishes and carried them into the kitchen. At the end of the day, he knew that regardless of whose team had one, they both would have changed poopy diapers. They'd been a team when it had just been them and Tommy and they seemed to have it all together with the addition of Marcus, too.

As he started to clean up the dinner dishes, Chris and Ellie came into the room carrying the rest. He rinsed and loaded the dishes while Chris put away the leftovers and Ellie wiped down the table.

"Do you want me to start the dishwasher?" Scott asked them.

"Sure, that would be great," Ellie replied with a smile.

Opening the doors to the cabinet below the sink, Scott missed the mischievous look that passed between the couple. But he did see the neon yellow sticky note taped to the bottle of the dishwashing detergent that said "use this one in the dishwasher".

"Fuck you both," he said as they both started cracking up. He'd known they'd bring up his dish soap in the dishwasher situation eventually. "Seriously, fuck you."

"We love you," Ellie said with a giggle. "And go Seahawks!" She blew him a kiss and then ran for the stairs.

Chris rolled his eyes, but smiled at Scott. "Happy early birthday, see you in the morning," he said before following his wife upstairs.

Scott shook his head as he put the soap in the dishwasher and then started it. Grabbing the key for his cabin, he turned off the kitchen lights and then made his way out to the one bedroom cabin he was staying in. With his mom back home, he could have moved into the house with them, but he liked having his own space and the small cabin afforded him that. He had a bathroom and a kitchenette and it was all he needed.

[amisbro]

If UtaPri had/gets a 5th season...

What would it look like? So this is a question I have thought about for a while because of the fact that I think a lot of people (Myself included) believe there is more of a story to tell in the world of UtaPri.  I think with enough time we could get a very interesting idea for a season and honestly I think WHATEVER this project we got coming up actually IS could be an interesting testing ground for something. Let me explain

So if we think about how Season 4 ended it seemed rather definitive.  Like the way that message was wrote made you believe ,to a degree, that the series had ended as far as an Anime project.  Then we got the end card AFTER that and that kind of made things turn on its head cos no one knew what that was supposed to be until 6th stage happened right? One thing that always stands out to me is the fact that Season 4 was a bit of a mess and I say that in the most objective and neutral way possible because...when you have an Anime that is based on a Manga we typically get a story based around that in some fashion.  It might not be panel for panel and word for word but we get one and that is always fun to see how certain scenes get animated for sure.  When you do an Anime based on an Otome game you almost always do whomever is considered the “true route” or just leave it open ended so people will want to play the games (which is what I think DiaLovers did when it had its run). UtaPri has a very interesting situation because the series DOES have an idol component (and the Anime made sure to really focus on that mostly) but it is also an Otome game so the studio (A-1 Pictures) had that to work off of for the most part.  The problem is that when they were done with the material they DID USE it created a problem because Season 4 was a mess if I am being as objective as possible about it. So here was the problem You had 3 groups in play here STARISH QUARTET NIGHT HEAVENS Forget whom your group was for a second...this was going to be a problem because 2 of the 3 groups had content that was used in the first 3 seasons but Season 4 was going to be a problem.  How this would have been remedied I have no fucking idea!  Like if Broccoli knew they were going to do this season they needed to get something out BEFORE IT so people would have had something to go off of for HEAVENS so we could have had 7 episodes that made sense instead of episodes where it felt like they didn’t know how to have the HEAVENS member that was being featured in it not look like a complete ass!  If we are honest this is what happened and its frustrating to remember One of the biggest issues with the season was that you had a group that HAD been Antags during Season 2.  I said HAD because I genuinely believe that the marching orders for A-1 was to write a season where STARISH was still THE focus but HEAVENS could be rehabbed into a group that was more “likable/marketable” so when the time came to sell CDs and merch that they would fly off the shelves and could be a contender to at least QN if not both them and STARISH.  As we saw during the Oricon charts it was a puzzling time because the duet CDs sold like garbage in the sense that only TWO our the 7 actually charted in the top 10 Ren/Van - Lovely Eyes Syo/Yamato - Justice Impulse This was the most puzzling thing I ever dealt with because I tried to figure out WHY and to this day the best thing I could come up with is the fact that the CD releases were slated to come 10 days after the episode aired which seemed like the dumbest thing to do (IMHO) because when I looked at Season 3 all of the releases charted in the top 10 and a big reason for that was the gap between CD/Episode was only 4 days...well we got to QN and HEAVENS’ CDs they did VERY WELL in Season 4 and its because of how close they released them (I think) to the episodes...funny how that works! What was really weird also was during the “Duet Project” episodes the writers didn’t know WHO to make the focus of the episodes and that was weird BUT ,looking back on it, this whole season was gonna be weird because of how quickly the season was coming in the turnaround vs. its normal time for a season.  Typically a UtaPri season gets a 2 year window and this time they were going under that...about a year and 4 months so this was going to cause a crunch and also a mess of a message as to what the writers wanted to do!  I personally believe that the writers wanted to make HEAVENS all the more sympathetic and they were able to get SOME of the backstories in that they could for certain characters but a few others (Nagi and Eiichi for example) “kind of” tried to show you the “why they were acting the way they were” but it felt (at least Internationally) that the episodes didn’t register or if they did not as well as they hoped.  I do wonder if a big reason that the content is as out of sorts in terms of balance for HEAVENS vs. the other two groups is because of how jacked up that season got.  I genuinely wish I could sit down and discuss that season with someone that was in the room when they were given the orders on how that season was supposed to go vs. what actually happened after the fact! So this brings me back to the “What would a 5th Season look like if we got/get one in the future?” The weird thing is I think A-1 already knows but they have to get the reference materials FIRST before they start writing it.  I genuinely think they saw/heard about what happened Internationally when it came to the “NEXT DOOR” saga and they didn’t want to see that happen again so NOW they want to work on these projects to get the idea other there right now that all the groups are separated as first we have STARISH and then no doubt QN but the big question of course is HEAVENS...can they do a concert with them at some point with hopefully more songs under their belt OR will Broccoli start to really consider them a lost cause and that the fandom just doesn’t want them.  You can only go with the “Round peg/Square Hole” philosophy so much before people get mad and don’t want to deal with the series (or at the very least HEAVENS) anymore. The other big issue is HEAVENS’ role in Dolce Vita because, As of this writing, we still don’t know ANYTHING about that game...like we don’t know if its a straight up VN or is there going to be something similar to the original La Corda back in the day which ,fun fact time, had Kishou and Mamo in it.  Like if anyone would know how a game like that worked it would be them (And they ARE in the new game “Starlight Orchestra” btw) so they HAVE to have had given some input about how the mechanics worked and all that...right?! (Oh and unrelated but Kishou’s original character in Len Tsukimori is a special character in that game.  He was unlocked through a campaign we had in that fandom a bit ago) So again...what would Season 5 look like? Well my guess is that it would have to be a STARISH/HEAVENS season again but with new duets unlike last time.  The other possibility (And I think they were teasing this at the end of Season 4) is that it would somehow be a HEAVENS/QN season which could be interesting especially if they did something like how Season 2 was probably supposed to go...and in a way didn’t because of how the story worked. The thing is its been almost 5 years since we had a proper season...FIVE! Let’s assume that the “Anime Project” as we know it is over alright?  STARISH and QN’s brand is already established so what do you use to help HEAVENS’ get on the same level?  That’s a big reason why I don’t think they could/should end the “Anime Proper” because to do that you literally would be cutting off a way to properly market a group that actually needs it vs. the groups that clearly don’t.  I won’t go so far as to say that the STARISH/QN Animated concerts are going to be “Vanity Projects” because they aren’t.  They are clearly something that Broccoli believed in as far as a project to do for the series BUT I will say that having 7th Stage so close to this project is a bit...weird?! Like okay to be fair this probably was planned well in advance and the Pandemic fucked everything up because it was supposed to be announced at 7th stage in 2020...okay cool fine but let’s say it was right?  What stopped them from revealing it at 10th Anniversary when it would have been a bigger “Holy Shit” moment?  What was really so important that they had to do EVERYTHING ELSE and not that?  Just seemed weird to me. But anyways HOLY SHIT did we go around the block here...I need to stop If you were going to script out a proper 5th season when would you do it and how?  The thing to remember is we have a 3 group scenario and now HEAVENS is trying to become an even better group to finally beat STARISH and QN so do you have QN and HEAVENS do a thing together or do you do a 3 cour season where each is dedicated to a particular group? Love to hear your answers on this and take care

[asgardian--angels]

Recommend some good folk metal music please

:D i never thought i’d see the day when someone actually wants to know more about the music i listen to *cracks knuckles* my time has come

I apologize in advance for this novel. Feel free to skip to the recommended tracks lol.

Most folk metal comes out of northern Europe (Finland, heavily) though you can find it all over the world (Hu Band comes to mind but I mean, it’s on every continent). I am one of those people with like, a small handful of favorite bands that I listen to mercilessly so I am sure that I am only representing a miniscule percentage of what’s available out there. What’s great is that folk metal is much more versatile than many other genres in its sound; the essence of folk metal is simply to 1) utilize traditional (or rather, in the sense of a metal band, non-traditional) instruments such as violin, accordion, brass ensemble, bagpipes, what have you, and 2) have lyrical themes which revolve around regional folklore, mythology, cultural heritage, or place (what I particularly like is a frequent reverence and respect for nature). Other genres of metal (death, black) have the second element but not the first, and tend to incorporate darker overall tones and consistently harsher or lo-fi vocal styles and sounds. Folk metal can be a gateway genre into metal and can often be quite hopepunk (if you will). Because of these criteria, the actual sound of folk metal can range from sea shanties to ‘spooky walk in the midnight woods’ to scathing social commentary to SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SH

Basically you can find a range of styles within the genre that fit what you’re looking for, from those that have an orchestral, ballad feel, to things that border on death metal but have a hurdy-gurdy in there. There’s also a much higher percentage of female-led folk metal bands than other metal genres.

I’ll go through my top picks.

Turisas. These motherfuckers. My boys.

Turisas is based in Finland, but sing primarily in English (with occasional Finnish, a smidge of Greek and Swedish too). Four albums out to date, fifth in progress. Sound is absolutely fucking bonkers god tier shit, if I may say so myself. Every single song sounds like you’ve been transported into an Iliad metal musical. Heavy use of a full orchestra and choir, along with sick violin and accordion solos. Their lyrical themes focus heavily on ancient Greco-Roman and Viking military history - but before you raise any red flags, rest assured they’re liberal as fuck and trust me the tea is scalding when Mathias feels like making a Point about Then and Now. No seriously, I don’t know how to express the beauty and depth of his songwriting - Mathias Nygård is an incredibly talented composer, musician, and songwriter (nay, POET), and an extremely intelligent and down to earth guy. There are plenty of bands that are happy to write Viking songs about pillaging and glorious death in battle and all that (Alestorm comes to mind), those are a dime a dozen. Turisas makes history come to life in a way that transports you back in time and thrusts you into the living breathing world of the past. They deal with the horrors and tragedy of war from both sides, consequences and motivations, fears and pride and loss, home and family, despair and hope. They write songs about people, big and small, and their role in weaving the great tapestry of history. And the best part is that it’s informed - Mathias does his damn research and the tales he tells are rooted in fact. He brings them to life so we can experience what it must have been like for those real living people, with the goal of forcing us to confront our own selves in them. He’s a modern Homer, I shit you not. 

Did I mention there’s a song about pirates that’s actually really complex and nuanced, about how the hypocrisy and vile colonialist deeds of emperors makes them no different than the criminals they persecute?

Or that they do a badass cover of Rasputin?? yeah?????

Anyway enough gushing. Their second and third albums (The Varangian Way, Stand Up And Fight) are consecutive concept albums that follow the story of the Varangian Guard (the legendary Viking battalion that defended Alexander the Great) so the songs are actually chronologically linked to tell this epic tale. It’s a fucking listen, lads. The Varangian Way is probably my favorite album. But all their albums are top notch. 

My favorite songs: End of An Empire (this one comes for 2020 hard), Piece by Piece (AKA die fascists 2k20), Cursed Be Iron, Among Ancestors, Greek Fire, Miklagard Overture (you gotta earn this song tho, it’s the finale)

Good first listen picks/hits: Battle Metal, To Holmgard and Beyond, March of the Varangian Guard, Ten More Miles, One More

Finntroll. These other motherfuckers. My other boys.

Another big name in the Finnish folk metal scene. As you can see, their band revolves both aesthetically and musically around Scandinavian troll folklore. Yall weird elf-fuckers who like the really big ears? Here you go. Look at those ears. They’re good friends with Turisas. Both love their facepaint.

Musical style leans much more towards black and death metal influenced, with a heavier, fuller sound and growling vocals. But it’s an incredibly rich and creative aural tapestry, with layers of masterfully executed sound that’s a real delight to lose yourself in. Use of fiddle, brass, keyboard, accordion, and banjo, and strong folk melodies make their sound unmistakable and unique. They are known for their ‘black humppa’ beat, which basically gives the effect of feeling the primal need to stomp around loudly to their music. It’s great cardio. They also utilize orchestra in some great intro tracks. They know their stuff.

The majority of their songs are sung in Swedish (they do some English cover songs which are FANTASTIC holy SHIT), but don’t let that stop you. The mood and power and emotion of their music transcend language, and you can be sure the lyrics are about either trolls, witches, the dark woods, spirits, or something of that ilk. I think Swedish as a language works very well with this kind of music, and honestly having it in English would lose something. 

They have been around a long time and so have many albums, but I personally have only listened to the last three which feature their current singer, Mathias Lillmåns, whom I adore. Those albums are Nifelvind, Blodsvept, and their recent release Vredesvävd (that i’ve had on repeat since I got it three weeks ago). I’m sure their other ones are great too, I just can’t make a personal recommendation since I haven’t heard them. 

My favorite songs: Galgasång, Tiden Utan Tid, Ylaren, Skogsdotter, Två Ormar, Ett Norrskensdåd, Skövlarens Död

Good first listen picks/hits: Forsen, Under Bergets Rot, Häxbrygd, Trollhammaren (older song), Solsagan

I’ll go through these other ones a little faster, I haven’t heard quite as much from them but I do love them.

Korpiklaani. 

Great, full folk sound, utilizes a lot of folk instruments including some less commonly seen ones like hurdy gurdy. Songs are mostly in Finnish but plenty in English too. Jonne Järvelä has a really unique voice that grows on you, but it’s not for everyone. The band started as Sami folk, and Jonne is trained in Sami yoik singing, which makes an appearance in a few songs. I prefer the Finnish tracks, as a lot of the English ones are drinking songs lmao. But again, really well-executed music with layers of sound that keeps you hooked. I haven’t heard enough of their discography to really recommend enough to cover everything. 

Song picks: Minä Näin Vedessä Neidon, Metsälle, Ämmänhauta, Lempo

Moonsorrow.

Definitely a darker, black-folk band. Probably not a great pick if you aren’t accustomed to black metal - very long tracks (8-15 mins is standard), growling/shrieking vocals, a ‘thinner’ but encompassing wall of sound usual of black metal, but with the benefit of wonderfully entrancing dark folk elements and chants. It’s done really really well. Sung almost entirely in Finnish (apart from cover tracks). Lyrically, focuses on themes of Norse mythology, man vs nature and similar elements. Definitely one of those bands whose music gets you into a zone. I can lose serious time just putting a whole album on and letting my mind wander elsewhere. My favorite album is Jumalten Aika. 

Song picks: Ruttolehto Sis. Päivättömän Päivän Kansa (my fucking FAVORITE), Suden Tunti (well known hit), and also uhh check out their cover of Non Serviam cause it’s a fucking banger

Other bands that I like what I’ve heard but really can’t say much about them, whoops - Tyr (from the Faroe Islands, great stuff, Faroese is a baller language), Ensiferum, Nightwish (female-led).... I’m open to suggestions. Like I said, there are folk metal bands all over the world, and each is intrinsically linked to a sense of place and cultural identity that makes them unique. I’d love to hear about more tbh. 

[chronically-autistic-dinosaur]

January 13, 2020 vs March 11, 2020 vs March 7, 2021.

The first photo was before I was infected with COVID...before I even got sick with bronchitis. The second photo was the day I was sent to Urgent Care. The day I was extremely sick as the COVID virus had now decided to show itself. The day I was told I more than likely had COVID, but I couldn’t be tested. The day everything changed for me. A week later, I was in isolation and fighting the COVID virus. The third photo was taken today-a year after getting COVID.

Almost a year later, and I’m still dealing with the effects of being sick. I no longer have the energy I used to. I’m tired a lot and I’m short of breath just going up and down stairs. I have a hard time catching my breath when it’s really cold out and I can feel the burning pain in my lungs when I breathe in the cold. I have a chronic cough. I now have to use an inhaler to help me with the cough and shortness of breath (which is also chronic). Upper respiratory tract infections/respiratory issues are a norm for me now. I still have no taste after being sick a month ago. Was it a COVID reinfection? Tests said no, but I was very sick and had all.the.symptoms and then some.

COVID-19 is a weird virus. It effects everyone differently. Some people have no symptoms. Some have all. Some might only have a few. Some people need hospitalization. Others don’t. I’ve been lucky enough that I never needed medical attention any of the times I’ve been sick...and those have been numerous. Even the two times I’ve been super sick, I was able to recover at home.

I’m a generally healthy person and I still got COVID. It doesn’t discriminate.

Everyday I get stronger and some days are better than others, but I know I will never be the same as I was before. I’m 31 years old and some days I feel twice that old 🙃