#maq: ... anyway so.

[ninjasmudge]

alt fancy outfits for entanglement swk and maq in regular and uv (this ones swks real height, the guys part kaiju by this point)

if theyre sneaking into somewhere, they dont dress lowkey, they just dress swk up real pretty and nobody even sees maq walk in

[wu-kongs]

actually i lied, one more obligatory mitski song: First love / Late spring (but its Wukong pov)

the verses are all wukong but man if that chorus ain't maq → sun. the verses didn't even fall into sun until i heard the second one, so i jigged my brain a little bit on the first one and honestly—

Wild women don't get the blues But I find that lately, I've been crying like a tall child

—because who would suspect that the mighty monkey king, great sage equal to heaven, who does not know defeat, could ever experience sadness? no one wants to hear that. no one wants to see that. wukong is the strong arm, the tank, the heavy lifter, shield and sword all at once. he has tricked death, come back from death, defeated death, stared death in the eye and laughed. what could he possibly be so sad about? weapons don't have emotions.

And I was so young when I behaved twenty-five Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child

aside from the fact that this hits a liiittle too close to home for me, LMK wukong has clearly stated he's making this up as he goes. he has no idea what he's doing. he's doing what he thinks is right to do in the moment. but how everyone remembers him? this perfect, infallible, unfaltering, unerring, dauntless god. in-journey, mentioning his name had been enough to give pause to even the most heinous demons (sometimes it was not tho and had the opposite effect and that was very funny). you can even see the way he'd been depicted right after the fact, that direct source being tang himself and what an idealized version of him MK had living in his head.

anyway briefly about the machorus—

One word from you and I would Jump off of this ledge I'm on, baby Tell me, "Don't," so I can crawl back in

look i can go into detail and everything and why all the livelong day but i will only say. pre-journey shadowpeach and post-makeup shadowpeach. macaque willing to do anything his king asks. macaque down on himself about everything he'd done. macaque in love with wukong every which way—胸がはち切れそうで/my heart is about to burst—no matter what.

tell me he's not stupid in love.

[dear-indies]

hi cat!! for your celebs list and playlist, the alt rock band 'camp cope' are pro palestine!! i sent in the lead singer georgia maq before but i've since found out all members (georgia maq, sarah thompson and kelly dawn helmrich) are pro palestine <3 they're not together as a band anymore but their music is so so so good, so i thought i'd recommend them anyway!! <3 ty for everything you do! from the river to the sea 🇵🇸

their cover of seventeen going under already has me thank you so much i've added them! <3

[thundersworn]

prompts: quotes about despairs // accepting

@prophecyveined​ said, "i wish i could tell you how lonely i am."

     though they would be loath to say it, maqyaža knows a thing or two about loneliness.  as it happens, however, this is one of the first times in their ninety years that they have been on the receiving end of such a confession of raw emotionality. they are uncomfortable, out of their element, and it shows. never having been one to be able to mask their expressions before, especially in this shape, their brows furrow deeply. what is expected in a moment like this? if remilia had wanted a compassionate display, she may be sorely disappointed.  the most maqyaža can do is appear constipated, albeit trying their best.

    “what of your clan?” they ask, in lieu of having fuck-all else to say.  in the absence of protocol, they stick to what they know. “it is difficult to be lonely when you are one of multitudes.”

[lmk-monkey-madness]

how did maq get possessed anyway?

So hopefully this isn't going to be to confusing but basically possession is a form of magic and magic in most sense is tied to emotions in some way or another. Well when someone is possessed the person controlling them exploits one emotion and it typically varies between the victim which emotion gets exploited. At least that's what it is in my AU.

Macaque was jealous and Jiǔlíng yuánshèng added fuel to the fire so to speak so he would only get more and more jealous of Wukong until Yuánshèng finally had full control and then trapped Macaque in his own jealous rage.

[palms-upturned]

Potential hcs for adolescence Nanami?

🤔🤔🤔 I remember one time Maq and I talked abt how I would hypothetically include Nanami in the movie and I said smth like she would probably have to be a bg role unrelated to Touga like Saionji was, and that I would fit her in by having her be the one to discover the body and point the figure at Anthy rather than Shiori, since in the show she’s constantly trying to “expose” Anthy.

But that’s just fitting her into the movie as it was. If Nanami had her own adolescence storyline, then… 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 well, Touga would have to be an entirely different character, really. And Nanami would have to be in Utena’s role. I think her story would be about coming to grips with that pain of not knowing what was going on in her household behind closed doors, but also with the realization that Touga was taking out his anger on her and setting himself up to repeat the cycle of abuse with her, and that she’s now repeating it with Anthy by trying to tear her down. So rather than Utena making peace with Touga by reaffirming that she still loves him after hearing his story, and then letting that love propel her to go meet Anthy, it would be more like Nanami letting go of that image of the perfect prince that she constructed to make sense of her grief, and breaking free from the patterns that she tried to emulate. And she lets that resolve propel her to make amends with Anthy and help both of them escape these abusive cycles. That’s what I would imagine for her, anyway. 🤔

[stolaz-the-artist]

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING I HADE A COOL ASS DREAM! (Pt 1, Lmk)

(If i misspel any names, i apologise in advance.)

So! Mk and Macaque are training, like, they try out like a fusion spells. But Macaque isn’t evil, and Wukong and him are like, still married or sum shit idk.

Wukong isn't there in the first half, but back to the bonding moment. MK finally does the spell right and goes into like a fusion mode, and then Macaque join him and they make like this cool fusion.

don’t remember what happend after that, but i know it took part somewhere thats a part of my childhood (the place where i got my scar)

so they go down to the dock and there they meet Wukong and he then fuses with the two, or maybe he switched place with Wukong, can’t remember.

Anyway, the travel back home to this really cool place in like this cool forest, where Mk starts practicing more spells.

And then Mk was like invited to . . My house and like, we had like a classic Swedish midsummer dinner in . . November, and it was summer!?

yeah idk bout that part but why I’m still mentioning that was because: Mk wasnt allowed to text his parents (Maq and Wukong) for some reason. and then he jumped into some water and Red was there and was trying to heat up a tub or something like that.

i know this seems really weird, but i just thought it was like a cool dream so like . . Yeah! idk maybe I’ll like, make it less confusing and turn it into a fanfiction or something, idk.

but i had another cool dream the day before, and I’ll post about that right after this one.

but tell me what you think, does this have potential or should i just scrap it?

[ao3feed-utena]

We Hear Different Sounds than the Heartless Do

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2ZaqeFO

by dearfriendicanfly

“What is that book, anyway?” Wakaba asks curiously.

“Oh, just… something I picked up at the first train station I went to.” Anthy’s expression shifts, and Wakaba isn’t sure if it becomes more or less difficult to read. “I’m not usually much of a romance fan, but I thought I’d try something new.”

“How is it?”

Anthy smiles. “I’ll let you know when I get to the ending.”

Wakaba and Anthy are both searching for Utena, so they decide to search together. But there's something else that they're searching for, too. Something within themselves.

Words: 5953, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, Multi

Characters: Shinohara Wakaba, Himemiya Anthy, Tenjou Utena, Chu-Chu (Utena)

Relationships: Himemiya Anthy/Shinohara Wakaba/Tenjou Utena, Himemiya Anthy/Shinohara Wakaba, Shinohara Wakaba/Tenjou Utena, Himemiya Anthy/Tenjou Utena

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, OT3, Fix-It, honestly idk what to tag this im so bad at tags, ANYWAY THANK U MAQ FOR THIS PROMPT, i love these girls....

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2ZaqeFO

[ninjasmudge]

Is there any au of yours where Wukong is shorter than Macaque??

at the VERY start of the fandom i used to think itd be really funny if they were both exactly the same height but that height was like 3'8" so whenever they fought over it, to everyone else it was just BABY FIGHTS

now i like to look at swk and see big handsome tiger vibes so he will remain large i love him, very beautiful, very powerful

[wu-kongs]

Before the eye thing happens in the AU,(like before the fallout and Macaque’s death) did Macaque just bite Wukong whenever he wanted blood and Wukong didn’t noticed his blood was being taken? Did Wukong just thought that Macaque was giving him love bites (or was he like oh yeah that’s how Macaque shows his affection, just biting me?) like bro your blood is being drunk but a weirdo

it was something they mutually indulged in, something wukong let happen. i mean they were both really into it. i promise i'll write a ditty of the First Time at some point

it wasn't necessarily whenever maq wanted, though he would get grumpy if sun continuously rejected him. sun was fully aware of what was happening and it was so attractive and endearing to him that he just never said no. it was a huge intimacy thing for them, a way of them joining and being close. for maq it was also him being codependent and tryna tuck himself into wukong and never let go because that's his king, his liege, he never wants to be apart from, never wants to let go, wants to meld together and be permanently there

anyway. yeah.

[chibicrow]

maq-ygofan replied to your post “ANYWAY IF VRAINS COULD BRING BACK MY SON TAKERU AND FLAME SO I DON’T...”

And bring Fire Astral back too!! 😡

ok I had a moment of panic b/c I was like “SHIT!! DID I FORGET TO PUT FLAME IN THE POST SHIT SHIT SHIT,” but then I saw Flame after “MY SON TAKERU” and I never felt so relieved today LMAO. 

BUT YES. BRING BACK MY SON TAKERU AND HIS ROASTMASTER IGNIS FLAME AKA FIRE ASTRAL PLS AND THANK!!!!!!!!!

[crookedrussiancam]

Maq Serenades - Episode 4 - Roar (Katy Perry)

Watch on Youtube

One of our patreon tiers is Maq will serenade you with any song you want her to do. So here we have Roar, a song by Katy Perry, for Saturn.

Literally 10 minutes of effort, max, was put into this. I coughed a few times! I lowered the octaves! Fight me!

I think EdKara is fine so long as they have credit, based on the evidence on their page, but I'm not 100% sure so if it's no bueno let me know and I will take this down ASAP!

Anyway: "Roar" by Katy Perry and look I love her music videos so enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CevxZ...

EdKara's Karaoke Version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXlRm...

Please consider supporting our Patreon or buying us a Ko-Fi!

[ashwinkumar1989]

After a rather enjoyable trip of Chennai of a week, during which I met my maternal grandparents, relatives and friends; it was time for me to return to Mumbai – again by train! Oh, and for my account of my train journey from Mumbai; please refer https://ashwinkumar1989.online/2017/11/22/a-two-night-sojourn-to-chennai-part-1/ and https://ashwinkumar1989.online/2017/11/23/a-two-night-sojourn-to-chennai-part-2/ . This time, I took 11042 MAS CSMT express on Nov 25; which departs from MAS at 12 20 and reaches CSMT at 13 35 (I would get down at Thane) – this would enable me to rest for more than half a day at home before the usual Monday morning blues (heightened after a one-week holiday!) . As always, please refer to the legend at the bottom for all technical terms and station codes (not all, mind you!) . Non-railfans and purist railfans, I warn you in advance that this blog will contain a LOT of loco numbers and other technical stuff! Also everyone, this is so long that I have to split it into 3 PARTS so that it doesn’t get boring! 😛

After brunch, I left home by 11am and took an Ola auto to reach MAS by 11 30 without much ado. One look at the giant digital display board told me that 11042 was berthed on Platform 9. On PF 6, 22602 SNSI MAS superfast was resting with APU-fitted TNP WDM3As 16084R and 16853R; while on PF 8 a shining LGD WAP4 22322 was resting – according to railfan Jyothish K it had brought in 12696 TVC MAS superfast.

My coach S8 was a very old 1996 old make, but surprisingly had mobile charging sockets in all bays and even bio-toilets at one end! :O It was 5th from the loco – AJJ WAP1 22011, and I had a trackside window seat LB 😉 .

From PF 3, 22637 MAS MAQ West Coast express departed at 12 05. On PF 8, 12608 SBC MAS Lalbagh express arrived at 12 19 (4 mins late) behind RPM WAP7 30332. One of its 2 AC Chair Cars was a 2015 make, and it had 3 Deen Dayalu coaches (1 2017 made). We departed at 12 25 (5 mins late) after sounding 2 LT horns. For a while, there was parallel action with the rake of 22602 which was being shunted – its front SLR had broken shutters despite being 2015 made 😦 . Near BBQ Coaching Depot, I saw a 20 lever Cabin; and a Train Care Centre in the distant right. On a siding was TNP WDM2 16885 in GOC livery (maybe to be transferred to GOC?). As always, the BBQ ETS was home to a variety of locos – RPM WAP7s 30367 and 30413, ED WAP7 30573 (First time I had ever seen an ED P7! ), LGD WAP4s 22663 and 22515; and AJJ WAP1 22021. Not a single ED/RPM WAP4 though – times have indeed changed! :O

There was a PSR of 30 kmph before BBQ. I also saw Don Bosco Higher Secondary school before VPY. There was a TSR of 30 kmph before Villivakkam – there I saw a road with name “Loco Scheme Ist Street”! :O I guess it is a railway colony! Near Korattur there was a lake full of moss. By now we were galloping and the continuous honking (the two LT horns and a rarely used HT whine) was a treat to the ears, accompanied by mild flat wheel sounds coming from the rear of the coach :P. There was another dirty moss-filled lake near Ambattur. As we crawled through Avadi, I could see the Tube Products of India factory in the right. I also saw the Madras College of Pharmacy and 2 Kalyana Mandapams before a WAG9 hauled BOXN rake crossed us (a cue to the freight action to follow). After the line to PTMS branched off to the distant right, a Tigerface WAG7 hauled express crossed us – probably 16054 TPTY MAS express.

The surroundings became more rural from hereon. I observed Jaya College and Vivekananda Vidyalaya, and a Tigerface WAG7 hauled BOXN freight at Veppampattu. There was a lot of stagnant dirty water for a while, and quite a few temples before the crawl through Tiruvallur. There was a container freight hauled by GMO WAG9H 31822 standing in the opposite direction. Then an express crossed on the left before the Egattur forests. There were a lot of sheep, goats, cows and calves grazing. There was a stagnant patch of water in the dry Kushasthalai river. My ticket was then checked – the TTE asked only for the ID proof – I showed him my PAN Card, but he told me that it’s a photocopy and asked me to keep Aadhaar card for safety! Aaah…just underlines the obsession of our government with Aadhaar for anything and everything! Anyway, I have the original Driving License as well just in case!

There was a BCNA rake led by Ajni WAG9 31259 standing at Tiruvalangadu. We crawled and changed tracks – now we were on the leftmost track! On the right most track there was a TSR of 100 kmph! I then saw a stagnant pond and a long line of palm trees, as well as a Splendor bike parked in the midst of this wilderness before Mosur! After Puliyamangalam, 12610 SBC MAS Intercity exp crossed us with RPM WAP7 30427. Then there was again a TSR of 100 kmph on the right most track! :O Then there was a lake before a PSR of 15 kmph (which would continue till we took the line to RU from AJJ). In the AJJ yard, there was a Car Carrier AutoLinx rake and a BCNA freight with LGD WAG9 31556. An EMU departed towards MAS on the distant right as we pulled into the station (PF 3) at 13 44, 22 mins late. 3 families got in our coach. There was an EMU waiting on PF 4, ready for departure towards MAS.  22638 MAQ MAS West Coast express arrived on PF 2 as we departed after a two-minute halt.

An LHB rake crossed us on the left (12551 YPR KYQ AC superfast ?)while we changed tracks to move to the RU line. There were people hanging from the doors of our front 2 coaches! :O On the line to RU, there was a TSR of 80 kmph for passengers and 50 kmph for goods. Soon there was a teaser of the scenery to follow later in this section, in the form of a forest, corn fields, palm trees and irrigated fields before we passed the ghost station of Ichiputtur. Then there was a stagnant pond and some coconut trees before an express crossed with a P1 – probably our counterpart 11041 CSMT MAS express. Then there was a small pond with water lilies and a lot of houses and an LC before we pulled into Tiruttani, where a few people got down and a family got in. 12245 HWH YPR Duronto (apparently running about 3 hours late) passed the station without stopping, hauled by TATA WAP7 30549.

There was a small river called Nandhi, before a highway gave us company on the right. Then came the scenic Ponpadi station (last station in TN on this route) which was full of trees, following which there was that famous 90 degrees curve.

On the DOWN line, there was a TSR of 50 kmph for passengers and 30 kmph for goods before Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta – the station with the record for having the longest name in IR (or has it been broken?), and the first station in A.P in this route. There was a Grand World Water Park (a really scenic location for a water park, I must say! 😀 ) . Then there were some stagnant water patches and the dry Nagari river. There was a tractor on a thin road next to the DOWN line bridge! Now the DOWN line was really down – as it was below us! 😛

Then there was a beautiful lake near Ekambarakuppam, in which there was a grass island. I saw cows and calves grazing. There was also a uniquely shaped mountain peak christened “Dadar express” by railfans – since it resembles a train being pulled by a diesel loco – 12163/64 MS-DR superfast (earlier 11063/64 MAS-DR express) has always been associated with diesels; in fact, for a brief period from 2003 to 2006 it was hauled by a diesel loco (usually a GTL WDM2) between Pune and MAS!

Check this video of us blasting through the scenery – rock cuttings, greenery, trees and mountains; skipping Vepagunta on the way – all the way our P1 honking melodiously https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M6P4-2EBOc&t=9s . Then there was the lovely sight of boys playing hockey at a school, while a lot of girls and boys watched. This school was, again; in a very scenic setting – with a beautiful lake nearby and a lot of coconut trees. A lot of buildings signalled the arrival of Puttur, where some people got down. We overtook a freight led by twin WAG7s (leading – ED 27481). The separation between the DOWN and UP tracks made for some good photography! 😉

There was another beautiful lake and some spectacular scenery (yet again!) in the form of forests and surrounded by a line of coconut trees and of course the Sapthagiri Hills in the distant right!

There was a TSR of 80 kmph before Pudi, where we overtook a TNP ALCO with  a few freight bogies. There was the dry Swarnamukhi river, before we crossed an almost 1 hour late running 66048 TPTY MAS Fast MEMU. At RU yard, there was an LGD WAP4 22717 coupled to a now rare Rajdhani liveried AJJ WAP1 22058. There were Humsafar coaches (have seen them here since March end this year!), few BCNA rakes, an accident relief train as well as a WDP4D in the distant right; as we pulled into the station (PF 1) at 14 57, 7 mins late. Near us lay GTL WDM3D 11118 with 2 Accident Relief Medical Vans. On PF 5, 22603 KGP VM superfast pulled in behind RPM WAP4 22872. On the distant right, a BCNA rake led by BZA WAG7 28464 (in WAP4 shell) left (in our direction) after continuous LT horn blowing. On PF3, 16381 CSMT CAPE Jayanthi Janata express arrived behind ED WAP4 22526.

I had an Egg Biryani for lunch (which was strictly ok) as we left at 15 10. I spotted twin ED WAG7 twins 27653 and 27497 in the distant right. I will be continuing my account in Part 2. Hope you have enjoyed so far!

Technical terms

APU – Auxiliary Power Unit (specifically for charging the loco batteries when it is idle)

LT – Low Tone

HT – High Tone

SLR – Second Class (Unreserved) cum Luggage rake

ETS – Electric Loco Trip Shed

PSR – Permanent Speed Restriction

TSR – Temporary Speed Restriction

LC – Level Crossing

EMU – Electric Multiple Unit (or just local train :D)

ALCO – American Locomotive Company (and a class of diesel engines of the 1960s)

MEMU – Mainline Electric Multiple Unit (or just non-suburban electric train :P)

LHB – Linke-Hoffman-Busch (German company whose technology is used to produce modern coaches – mostly seen in Rajdhanis, Shatabdis and Durontos)

Station Codes

MAS – Chennai Central

CSMT – Chatrapathi Shivaji Maharaj Terminus (Mumbai CST with the ‘Maharaj’ in it! :P)

SNSI – Sainagar Shirdi

TNP – Tondiarpet

GOC – Golden Rock (Ponmalai)

RPM – Royapuram

ED – Erode

AJJ – Arakkonam

LGD – Lallaguda

TVC – Trivandrum Central

BBQ – Basin Bridge

VPY – Vyasarpadi Jeeva

PTMS – Pattabiram Military Siding

TPTY – Tirupati

GMO – Gomoh

SBC – Krantiveera Sangolli Rayanna Bengaluru (or just Bangalore City! :P)

MAQ – Mangalore Central

YPR – Yeshwantpur

KYQ – Kamakhya

HWH – Howrah

TATA – Tatanagar

MS – Chennai Egmore

DR – Dadar (Central)

GTL – Guntakal

KGP – Kharagpur

VM – Villupuram

BZA – Vijaywada

CAPE – Kanniyakumari

A Return Journey To Remember – Part 1 After a rather enjoyable trip of Chennai of a week, during which I met my maternal grandparents, relatives and friends; it was time for me to return to Mumbai - again by train!

[aztara]

RETREAT

(day 2)

Hello Maq!!!

I hope that you slept well. How are you?

I don’t know kung anong oras mo to binabasa pero I want you to know na sobrang miss na miss na kita. (Ayoko lang pakita masyado kasi alam kong one-sided lang and baka magmukha akong tanga and mapahiya, pero honestly it doesn’t matter 🤷🏿‍♀️)

Anyways, I hope marami kang nagawang pagrereflect kahapon. Actually wala pa namang pagrereflect na magagawa kahapon masyado since puro pahinga, kain, siesta, tulog. Pero ngayon ka magrereflect. And I hope makakuha ka ng peace of mind at pahinga dito. I hope marealize mo yung mga dapat mong marealize 👀 I hope hindi ka na masyadong magalit at mainis sakin sa t’wing nagpaparamdam ako :(( Medyo nasasaktan na kasi ako pero magiging immune rin siguro ako pag nasanay na ako 😢

Sana magtino ka na Maq, baby q, baby ko, bebeq, bbq, babe ko, asawa ko. Malamang magagalit nanaman yan kasi sasampalin mo nanaman ako na “Di na tayo, Jai.” Oo puta alam ko!!!! Eh bakit ba!!! Hahaha joke. Alam kong annoyed ka na sobra pero there’s something sakin na naghohold on pa. Naniniwala kasi ako na mahal mo pa ako, eh. Alam kong hindi joke lang yung sinabi mo for the past few months, alam kong hindi yun pangcomfort lang sakin, alam ko. Ramdam ko yung kung ano yung totoo o hindi. Alam ko rin na magulo, alam ko. Pero handa naman ako magstay hanggang maklaro na lahat.

Ang dami kong gustong sabihin pero ramdam ko na hindi ngayon yung right time. Alam ko na marami ka ring pinagdadaanan, sobra. Alam ko yun. Ayoko na sumabay; Ayoko lang munang magtanong; pero sana ishare mo sakin kasi handa naman ako laging makinig. Ilang beses ko ba yun sinabi sa’yo? Maski naman may dinadala ako Maq, hindi ka naman nagiging pabigat sakin eh. Kesa naman yung iba yung maging trato mo sakin just because naiinis ka sa mga bagay na hindi ko alam, at madalas pagbuntunan mo ko ng galit.

Gusto ko lang yun itapat sayo. Kasi sobrang hirap na wala akong alam sa nangyayari sa buhay mo tapos bigla kang nagkakaganun.

(Sinusulat ko ‘to habang nasa itchyworms concert ako at ikaw ay nasa debut. HAHAHAHA)

I hope na in time you’ll be comfortable enough to open your problems, issues, and feelings sakin. I hope you’ll become more honest kasi honesty would really be your way out 😆

I love you, Maq, always.

Until now!

(Try to read ‘See you in Cosmos’ during Siesta if hindi ka makatulog! Or Aristotle & Dante discovers the secrets of the Universe) 💝

Read the next second day letter during night time. I hope you won’t get tired in reading my lengthy letters. I love you; maski one-sided na lang.

—-

(night time)

3:40am, 9 December 2018

Adriel, I dreamt of you. At this point, hindi ko alam if nakauwi ka na sa debut na inattendan mo pero nahihiya ako. Pagkakita ko naman sa messenger active 48m ago ka, ang laki ng possibility na, “Hindi pa siguro” HAHAHA.

Namimiss na kita. Halos buong araw kita hindi nakausap. Pinipigilan ko rin sarili ko kasi ayaw kitang maging annoyed sa existence ko masyado :< Gusto kita i-ask kung kamusta ka na without trying too hard, pero hindi ko alam. Hanggang sa napanaginipan kita; nakakawala ng longingness. How I wish you’re here. Atsaka, malamang namimiss na kita! Especially at this very point. The truth is, I always miss you. Always. Sometimes it just makes my heart hurt. Kapag tinatanong kita kung “Asan ka?” or “Sino kasama mo?” It’s just me being worried or paranoid :<.

Alam kong ayaw mong magtulungan tayo, o magkita tayo, o kumain tayo together. Alam kong ang selfish pero... :(ayoko.

Nagbabackread ako ng mga convo natin :((( tas hindi na ko makatulog bc my heart hurts so bad :((( nasaktan ako pero at the same time namimiss parin kita. Tinatanong mo sakin kung “Bakit gugustuhin mo bumalik yung taong makakapatay sa’yo?”

Maq, hindi ka naman nakakapatay sakin if you’re trying your best not to be that way eh. 😢. Sana you’ll know how to assess the situation. Pero I realized na feeling ko ‘jan ka na sasaya eh... The only thing that kills me naman is seeing you with Mary eh. Others only think of you as something na “nakakasama” Kasi you kept on hanging around with her... 🤷🏿‍♀️ It’s not my position to tell this pero naalala ko yung sinabi na “Babae ‘yan, Maq, sa tingin mo magstestay yan sa situation niyo if hindi siya sincere?” blabla hindi ko na tanda; pero try to assess the situation. Babae rin ako, umamin siya sa’yo na nagkagusto siya sayo simula ng taon ng grade 11 and dun palang, hindi sa sinisiraan ko siya pero diretso kasi ako magisip; na kinukuha niya loob mo through words na ganun. She stayed; hindi sa minamasama ko yung pagstestay niya pero kasi she had no other choice. And you’re staying siguro because of guilt - and that’s fucked up. Siguro nagstestay kayo as friends just to remove the fact na nangyari yung situation and para hindi kayo magmukhang bad person. You know, naisip ko na yung ugali ni Mary for such a long time - and hindi sa pagiging judgmental ako pero babae ako Maq. Hindi mo masasabing hindi umaasa yung tao, she’s just saying that para lang makalabas pa kayo ng makalabas until na makuha niya loob mo/mafall ka sakanya. Kinocomfort ka niya with the same thought as well - nastrestress ako Maq kasi babae ako pero alam niyang mali ginagawa niya pero bakit mo tinotolerate?! Para kasing nabubulag ka sa sitwasyon niyong dalawa! It’s like hindi niyo kayang i-assess! Hindi mo ba nakikita? Matagal na kasi sanang tapos yung issue if you guys stopped communicating na. Tbh. Ayun lang yung way kung pano i-assess yung situation. Hindi na kailangan ng mga summary summary kasi gets ko naman yung mga nangyayari eh.

Alam mo, maski isampal mo sa mga tao na “Friends lang kami ni Mary” they wouldn’t understand. Ako iniintindi ko nalang pero ibang tao? After all na nangyari, Maq? Of course they would think na binubullshit mo lang sila that’s why pumasok na at nakisawsaw yung mga kaibigan natin. Kasi yung gumugulo lang naman talaga sa sitwasyon nating dalawa is yung babaeng yun eh. Kasi ang lala ng ugali niya. Ang lala ng pagkapit niya.

The reason why she lost her friends is because wala siyang delicadeza, Maq. Kasi nagsira siya ng relasyon. It’s not because of you - It’s because she planned it firsthand. Hindi mo ba narerealize? A real friend would not tolerate your mistakes - sa tingin mo yung ginawa nung babaeng yun forgivable? No, maq. Hindi sa mabilis siya talikuran ng friends niya or ng ibang tao, it’s because she has placed it upon herself too. Alam niyang mangyayari to. May ulterior motive siya. Hindi ka naman siguro stupid para hindi mo makita yun? I understand na kayo yung nagkikita pero based sa mga kwento mo and knowing na observant kang tao, how come you couldn’t assess?

Ngayon lang ako natakot na paano kaya if hindi ko ‘to nalaman, ‘no? :)

Nagstestay siya sayo para ipamukha yung guilt na ginawa mo. Nagstestay siya sayo as friends para lang mapanagutan mo yung ginawa mo dahil nawalan siya ng kaibigan - No maq, it doesn’t work that way kasi. You don’t have to stay with her knowing na she planned it in the first place. Hindi mo kailangan maging trapped sakanya at panagutan siya. Kasi she’s accountable with her decisions, not you. Eh kung pinlano niya to in the first place does it involves you? I don’t think so. Hindi nga dapat siya yung pinanagutan mo because based sa mga kwento mo sakanya, kumakapit lang siya sayo because kailangan niya ng kasama pero ang toxic na kasi she’s using you, so much, just because she lost someone based on her decisions. Hindi eh, Maq. Hindi ‘to yung tipong ‘sakripisyo’. No, it’s being selfish. There’s a thin line between sacrifice and selfishness. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ako nagpaparealize sa’yo neto. Kasi it’s been so long, and you’ve been lost for so long, and walang nagpapagising sayo. You kept on summarizing me the whole situation.

Maq, jusko, alam ko na yung buong nangyari sating dalawa! Manunulat ako, Maq! Observant akong tao, Maq! I’ve written all that has happened and tinry ko tignan kung saan nagkamali, I’ve reflected and pondered about it already, ikaw? Hindi ko lang alam sa’yo!

(It’s already 4:58AM, hindi ako makatulog sa sobrang stress ko kasi sa totoo lang gusto na kita magising. Other people already assessed the situation sating dalawa and puno’t dulo nun it involves the girl kasi. It’s not an act of ‘leaving her behind, Maq, it’s an act of decency and a person with the right amount of conscience! )

Hindi yan utang na loob, Maq eh. Maski sabihin mo saking ‘kinomfort niya ko’; No maq. It’s not going to be utang na loob if hindi bukal sa loob niya. With that kind of motive, sa tingin mo sincere yun? The act of staying itself is not sincere. When are you going to wake up!

I know na sasabihin mo biased ako kasi ex girlfriend ako pero trust me, I’m not. A real friend would advice you to do the right thing. Hindi sa kinocontrol ka pero kasi nasasaiyo parin naman yung desisyon if you’ll take my advice. I think ito na yung tamang panahon para malaman mo yung totoong nangyayari kasi masyado ka nang nabubulag. And you don’t have to be trapped. You don’t have to make your life more miserable. You don’t have to carry that guilt forever.

Ako rin, nabubulag na eh. Kasi ilang beses

mo na akong tinataboy, pinupush away, and yet umuuwi parin ako sa’yo. Maski nakikita ko kayong magkasama, maski lagi saking sinasampal ng mga kaibigan mo na hindi ako pinili - lagi parin ako umuuwi sayo.

Hindi sa wala akong mauuwian Maq. Hindi sa wala akong choice; pero kasi dahil mahal kita. Sobrang gasgas na pero hindi ako maghehesitate piliin ka Maq eh. Never.

[yehmereliyehai]

I did absolutely no work yesterday. I wore a new kameez (green with roses) and got ready for Jummah but said it at home. Luckily thora sa Q bhi parliya. The whole day sped past me. I fixed my watch strap for my hulyah watch. I drank chai and ate biscuits. And cheese on toast. Aur phir woh khabar ke bad me thori down ho Gaye (Florida main jo huwa). It was like ah no not again. Anyways phir naam sunke I felt a little better but not much. I had baked fish and some chicken, then made lacha paratha for H. K and I went to buy As gift at the mall, and threw paper in recycling. Then we came home and cleaned for Mamu. NN watched Mughal e Azam and it was so nice seeing N eat the chocolates and then hug Mamu and ask him how things were. I will miss them both. I buried my head in nanis goddi and she said we should all make dua for each other. There was a little bit of snow and it glittered as we walked outside yesterday and it's supposedly going to snow again but it won't stick. Yesterday's wasn't enough to be satisfying either. Also as some old paper was being shredded it was so nice seeing old documents of people no longer here. One of Ns colleagues wrote a letter giving condolences about uncle Maq. Like we would just send a text now. Things were so formal! Fajr miss hogayi. I couldn't get out if bed. Okay. Phir baat hogi.

[ninjasmudge]

so anyway i think that in s4 maq shows up with a tuk tuk truck thats ever so slightly bigger and faster than the one mk has, and its got flame decals.

mk is outraged about this, so mei mods his to be slightly better than macaques. even bigger flame decals, and a nitro boost

macaque asks red son to make his even bigger and cooler. theres a disco ball on it now. lights. a hot tub.

this is basically a modding war between mei and red son until they figure out they can team up and obliterate everyone else with a monster truck big enough for mk’s mech to sit in