#mao you better Not i want you to stay the same height

[knightzp]

they are the same height now!!!!!!!!

[lovely-ateez]

I’ll Be Home Soon~

ꕥPosted: 5/16/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Idol!Mingi

ꕥWord Count: 1.8k

ꕥWarnings: An overwhelming heaping of fluff

ꕥTag List: @nevieatiny @bobateastay

ꕥA/N: I know this is short but I wanted to write at least a little something for Mingi’s return. I’m just so proud of him and can’t wait to see him again ><

I sat on the couch as stiff as a board. At any minute my boyfriend would return home after being away for months. We kept in contact while he was gone, of course, but it wasn’t the same as seeing each other in person. Even after all this time, I still wasn’t accustomed to the cold bed or the lack of sticky notes he would leave me throughout the day, all saying some variation of I love you or good morning or you look beautiful today. It was always something simple, but they became so meaningful to me. Waking up without his warm smile never got easier, and every moment he was gone I thought of him. Our house wasn’t a home with only me.

I heard the faint jingling of keys and I scrambled to the door, about falling over in the process. The door opened to reveal my tall, lanky boyfriend. He was dressed casually, wearing a large white sweatshirt over black baggy pants. His brown hair was down, slightly covering his eyes. He wasn’t dressed up or wearing anything special, but in that moment he looked more handsome to me than he ever had before. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds since I laid my eyes upon him and my heart was already beating as rapidly as the first time I met him.

He smiled at me and opened his arms wide to embrace me in a tight hug. I jumped in his arms without thinking and felt tears beginning to run down my face.

“I can’t believe you’re home. I missed you so much.” I nuzzled into his warm chest.

His voice was deep and warm, enveloping me ten times over. “I’m home, baby. I’m home.”

We held each other tight, basking in the feeling of the other after being separated. It felt new, in some ways, but completely and totally familiar at the same time.

“I’m sorry I was gone for so long.” His voice was soft, as if he thought I might blame him.

I pulled back from his embrace, making eye contact. “Song Mingi don’t you dare apologize! Health always comes first and I’m so proud of you for recognizing that you needed a break.”

He gave a shy smile that I happily returned. Noticing the luggage that he was carrying, I picked up a few bags and ushered him in, setting the bags down once we were inside. He looked around our living room, smiling at its setup. On the main table I had placed his favorite snacks, a few presents, and an overwhelming number of envelopes.

Mingi quirked a brow and chuckled, obviously thankful but a bit confused, “What are the envelopes for and why are there so many?” 

I looked to the ground,feeling shy. “Every week that you were gone I wrote you a letter. I know we facetimed and everything but I thought it might be more personal through a letter. I tried to send them to you but your manager told me to keep them instead-”

Mingi set his luggage on the floor and once more hugged me, this time lifting me in the air and placing kisses all over my face. “You didn’t have to do this, babe.”

“Oh I know, but I wanted to. It’s the least you deserve.”

His eyes watered at my words and I gently cupped his face. “You deserve the world, my love.”

He set me back down and gave me a playful shove, “Stop that I’m gonna cry.”

I pouted, “I’m sorry I don’t mean to make you cry. I just love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby.”

I stood on my toes to press a kiss to his lips, which he returned. I felt him smile against my lips and the gesture made butterflies stir within me.

"So what do you wanna do, babe? We can stay here and watch a movie and relax if you want or-”

He laughed, “Honestly? I kinda want to go to the zoo. I don’t really know why, but I haven’t been in awhile and it just sounds fun.”

“Right now?”

“Hell yeah.”

I smiled at his childlike answer, expecting nothing less from my puppy-like boyfriend, “Alright, let’s go then! Oh-”

I felt a ball of fluff run past my ankles and up to Mingi. Both of us looked down to see our cat, Mao. Mingi smiled and picked her up, pleased to find her purring while he pet her.

“I missed you, too. Silly cat.”

“She’s been sleeping on your side of the bed since you left, so you’re probably gonna have to kick her out tonight.”

His eyes widened, “You replaced me?”

“No! I could never! She just decided to keep me company.”

A tight smile formed on Mingi’s face, “Sure, sure.”

I scoffed, “Are we going to the zoo or not?”

“Of course!” He set Mao down before moving his luggage into our bedroom. I picked up my purse and car keys as I saw him return to the living room and gave him another smile. We quickly said our goodbyes to Mao and locked the door, excited to spend more time with each other.

-

“So what’s your favorite zoo animal, Mingi?” I asked as we walked through the zoo with our fingers intertwined.

His eyebrows furrowed in thought, “I kinda like sun bears. Have you seen the memes about those things? How they look-”

“Like a person in a bear costume?” I finished his sentence and he giggled, nodding at me.

“I think they have those here, actually. We might have to find a map but I’m sure they’re around here somewhere.”

After asking around and wandering for half an hour, we finally found the sun bear enclosure...only to be met with empty land.

“Damn, are they really not here?” Mingi asked, looking dejected, “I thought they’d have at least one.”

Before I could reply a little girl ran up to the exhibit in front of us, her brown pigtails swaying with her quick movements. She pressed her small fingers to the glass, squinting to see any signs of the sun bears. Her bottom lip stuck out when all she saw was an empty exhibit and my heart lurched for the poor girl. Mingi and I watched as an attractive couple ran from the same direction as the little girl, their movements frantic until they saw her tiny figure.

“Migyung you can’t just run off like that, sweetheart.” The mother lightly scolded, sounding more concerned than angry.

The little girl turned around at the sound of her mom’s voice and frowned. “I’m sorry, mama. I just wanted to see the funny bears!”

The father crouched down to reach her height, “I know, just tell us next time, okay?”

Migyung nodded at her father’s words.

“And would you look at that?” The man smiled and pointed behind her, “Look who’s coming over to see you.”

The girl turned around and spotted a sun bear walking towards her. She let out a gasp, once more pressing her fingers to the glass. Her eyes filled with stars as she looked at the bear.

She laughed with excitement and bounced on her toes, “Daddy, mommy, look at him! He’s so fat!”

“We see him, sweetheart.” The father replied with a smile, even though the girl couldn’t see it. He looked over to his wife and placed an arm around her, kissing her cheek as they looked at their daughter fondly.

Mingi squeezed my hand, his attention no longer on the sun bear. He turned to me with love-filled eyes and whispered, “That’s gonna be us one day, you know?”

I bit my lip and felt warmth spread through my body. We’d talked about our future before, how we wanted kids and planned on getting married, but watching the scene before us and seeing the sincerity in his eyes, it made my heart feel like exploding.

“I’d really like that.”

We stood there for a bit longer before leaving to look at the other animals. The red pandas, in particular, caught Mingi’s attention, and I found myself quite fond of the baby rhinos, but we both agreed that the sun bear was our favorite.

-

Neither of us were entirely sure how we both ended up covered in flour on the floor of our kitchen, only that once the sun had began to set we left the zoo and came home with empty stomachs, then deciding to make breakfast food for dinner. Now we were both in fits of giggles as we struggled to sit upright, Mao’s strange looks at us somehow making the event even funnier.

“Maybe this wasn’t the best idea,” I laughed.

“I think this was a great idea,” Mingi said with a smile before grabbing a handful of flour and throwing it at me.

“Hey! You’re gonna pay for that!”

He stood and grabbed the bag of flour, raising a brow in challenge, “Oh yeah? Come and get me, babe.”

Against my better judgement I stood and ran towards him, throwing my body onto his and tackling him to the floor. As our bodies collided, the bag of flour flew out of his hands and I crawled over to the bag only to feel Mingi’s arms wrap around my legs and drag me back towards him.

“Noo! I’m so close!” I giggled, the bag barely a foot away.

“Not anymore, you aren’t.” He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me tight, preventing me from escape, “What are you gonna do now, huh?”

I tilted my head with a smile, “I’ll probably flirt with my captor until he falls for me and then I’ll run away with the flour.”

“Is that so?”

“It is.”

“Well, what if he’s already in love with you but won’t let you go?” Mingi shifted our bodies to where I was laying with my back on the floor, his own body hovering over mine but still very much keeping me in place, “What if he’s gonna keep you here with him? What do you think about that?”

My breath hitched as he looked down at me, his face slowly inching closer to mine. He had it too easy, really, with how quickly he could fluster me.

“I think you’re far too handsome for your own good.” I said barely louder than a whisper.

He let out a chuckle before kissing me, our lips moving in time with the other’s. My hands found his hair and I pulled him closer to me, my hunger long forgotten.

As I felt Mingi’s body against mine, I finally felt whole. It was hell, going without seeing him for so many months, but because of moments like these, I knew I’d gladly wait a hundred more if it meant I could just have one day with him.

[art-in-pure-heart-valley]

Life of Geraldine

I am Geraldine, sword of the legendary hero Mao Mao. Let me start from the beginning:

—————————-

I became aware of what I was a long time ago. I am a sword of everlasting light, a golden heirloom passed down the Mao family from generation to generation, every new son or daughter taking up my hilt in their emergence as new heroes.

In very much every case, they received me when they were ready, deserving of me, and that would involve them already having undergone years of training and discipline. As such, doing these things across the passage of time would cause them to change, get bigger, older, and more mature. That’s how it’s been for centuries now.

Yet there were times when no hero in a generation picked me up and I was left in storage, waiting many years at a time until I could awaken and be used once again. Until then, I waited patiently.

—————————-

“Well, that should be it for all the cool weapons!”

“But where’s mine?”

“Oh uh, Moo-Moo, I didn’t realize you were still here. Uh, let’s see. Oh, here!”

“Yay!”

—————————-

This is my new bearer? A child? He’s barely old enough, big enough to even manage holding me up! Who is he? “Moo-Moo”, I think is his name, according to the Mao family’s current master. And did he just call me “Geraldine”? Of all the nicknames he could have given me, why that? What a peculiar little boy! Whatever, this kitten is not ready to have me…but the master already gave me to him. What’s done is done. Besides, I’ve never been assigned to an untrained Mao before. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to see a Mao student train at all. This is going to be interesting…

…

The boy grew bigger, taller. He shed his clothes and donned new ones. His name turned out to be “Mao Mao”, as he kept insisting despite how ridiculous it sounded to have such a repetitive and redundant full name, “Mao Mao Mao”…but it made sense as the master kept calling him by a different name every time they met. He tried training with me, but struggled with weight, his own size, and he fell down more than he swung me around. Most other times, he was taking me out with him for the most mundane things: going on pretend-adventures, riding a flying cycle, being treated like a hospital patient, talked to like a doll, used as a measuring stick for his own height, and many more juvenile antics unbecoming of a hero-in-training. 

And yet, why wasn’t he being trained? Why won’t the master direct his instructions towards the child specifically? He already does so effectively for his other older daughters. Actually, his daughters received their weapons at a proper age and they were all already fully trained. Then…Why not him? Why not me? 

Every night, I lay in his room, watching him behave without the company of his family. Something stirred in me as I saw him drop his smile, his eyes looking down at the floor. Sometimes, I would catch him shedding a tear, maybe two or more. He looked so helpless, so alone. Was being alone bad? Every hero who ever had me stood on their own and they were regarded with great strength because of it. How could this child be hurt by it instead? It doesn’t seem like I will get an answer to my question, and I don’t know if I ever will.

I have seen this child hurt more than any Mao I have been with at this time. He has cried, he had called out to the master more than once, and I don’t know what his sisters are doing. I had reason to believe that the child has begun trying to train himself. It’s not right. Someone else must train him, someone who knows what to do. If the master will not, then perhaps…I have watched my previous wielders handle me with expert techniques and I have learned them all. Perhaps I could relay them to the child? But how? 

—————————-

Across the centuries since I gained my spirit, I cultivated my ability to change into a form useful in case my bearer was not with me or I had to communicate by other means. In my case, I chose one that would ease the comfort of mortals around me, and what better suited me than the image of the Mao family whom I serve? But I have also seen what fear does to a person, what it drives them to do. Entire peoples have thrashed each other because of their fears. Some have even lost their own reason and went mad. They retreat within, never to emerge again. My power is not of mortal nature. It may have been different when I fought alongside Mao heroes who held me close, but this boy, this poor little boy, still knows next to nothing. If I reveal my true self to him, will he stay? I feel more like he will fear me and forsake me the first moment I do. But if he does, he may never find another companion again. I don’t know if he could make a friend by himself. But I know I eventually must show him who and what I am, and I will. But not yet. He isn’t ready.

—————————-

The master, the hero who guides his children to their ascension…how ridiculous! What master…no, what father would force their youngest son to use me to cut apart a tin of cobbler, what he loves so much? I can still taste it even now…The boy…Mao Mao…he already had to recover from the fact that his father will never look at him, now he won’t even let his ignored son have just this one thing! I realize it now - being with Mao Mao is better when he is happy and smiling. He’s a child. Being happy should be a natural part of that stage of his life. It’s not right that he is enduring life’s hardships so soon. Oh Mao Mao, be brave. It will be better again soon. Let me see you smile.

…

Mao Mao is bigger now, taller and looking more like the grown heroes I have been familiar with for the past centuries. I will admit that I’ve grown find of our time together as members of a simple life and not warriors, but it feels so wonderful to finally see him stand as a true master of the blade, of me. In fact, he’s already setting out on an adventure. It will be just me, him, and his other friend, a dog named Bao Bao. At last, let us be heroes together.

…

What happened? Mao Mao tried to escape the monster in the cave while looking out for Bao Bao, but the dog didn’t even try to do the same for him. After everything he had done for him, why would he just up and leave? It brought me even more agony to see Mao Mao take me and use me against himself; I will never forget the desperation on his face, the same suffering fear I longed to never witness again. I can never get rid of the foul taste of when he had to deal with his crushed and entrapped tail. I could have done something. I should have helped him. Why did it matter how he would have reacted if I revealed myself to him at that time?…Would it matter if I revealed myself to him now? What would he think then? I don’t know if he would be scared to see me or if he would be angry at me for not acting sooner. Maybe it’d be both…I can’t do it. I just can’t. Not now. I’m sorry, Mao Mao. I am so, so sorry.

…

I am grateful for anyone who would reach out to Mao Mao, saving him the strife of trying to find a bond that will save him. I feared that since Mao Mao had been ignored his whole life while he tried to reach out, his efforts would continue to amount to nothing. But then along came a friendly ex-bandit named “Badgerclops”. Perhaps I see a future for Mao Mao with this guy. I hope in my heart that this Badgerclops will give Mao Mao what he so desperately needed.

…

Pure Heart Valley: the final stop for Badgerclops and Mao Mao’s adventuring days. I thought it might be inconvenient for Mao Mao if he had to settle down since he loved adventure, but perhaps it might be good for him. It’s been a while since he had actual rest and I’m sure he wouldn’t be any better at his family’s home. Mao Mao needs a home, so very much. Fortunately, he had the blessing of getting another new friend upon arriving. It was a child too. She reminds me so much of Mao Mao when he was a kitten. May he love you as much as you love him, “Adorabat”.

…

Mao Mao, Badgerclops, and Adorabat are on their way to fight a new monster, just another day in defending the valley from outside threats. During those days, I worry that they all may not return home unharmed, but they do what they feel they must and I ought to respect their choice. At the very least, I still get to fight by their side…even if they don’t know it. Even if every battle I am in is spent being swung around by Mao Mao, I am content with knowing that he remains safe and he can win without my intervention. You are so strong, Mao Mao. If only you could hear me say that to you…

Some days, I still wish I could get the chance to show him who I am, but…I don’t want to drive him away. Besides, he already has two close friends by his side giving him the life he always wanted, and I don’t want to drive them away either. I don’t want to surprise him if I don’t need to. But still…if I could…just once… even if he loses me, I will not lose him. 

—————————-

I am Geraldine, sword of the legendary hero Mao Mao…and his closest companion. My sworn duty: to remain as his until the very end.

----

I dont have enough words to this...is precious ;w; thank you for sent it❤️

[ultraclops]

Semi-Live Blogging: Finale Time!

With reaction images this time!

Adoradad

TRAINING EXERCIIISE

Adorabat's practicing her screaming! Bet that's gonna come in handy later.

"Fneh!" Wow what an introduction Eugene

His design is like? Really cool?? He looks practically nothing like Adorabat tho. And why does he have a spade on his stomach instead of a heart??

Badgerclops drew him with a giant ass mustache lol.

Adorabat takes banjo lessons? More importantly, Eugene thought she was at a banjo lesson FOR 8 MONTHS?!

"She scares me" lol

Adorabat ran away from home? Why?

"I thought you were a ward of the state!" Remember when everyone thought Adorabat was an orphan? Yea.

"I thought you were my conscience!" Badgerclops...you've lived with Adorabat for a year...went to her school...AND YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A PIECE OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS?!

...why did Badgerclops use Adorabat as monster bait...

I expected to hate Eugene but he's actually really cute and interesting?? Aside from the fact he thinks Mao Mao & Badgerclops are criminals. Love to see him again sometime!

Wow her dad has a whole badass mansion!! Why doesn't she just stay there...

Oh...her mom died...that's why he's so protective of her and was so upset when she left. Also her mom looks amazing & I wanna see a flashback episode with her. For some reason I can imagine her sounding like a deeper version of Scoops?

Aww Adorabat's room is super cool! Also Eugene cracking the door for her asfgjkl

"Do you think that monsters attacking the city are gonna - wait, does that have peanut butter in it? " (Cuts to MM & BC eating ice cream while crying) That's a perfectly rational reaction to losing your adoptive daughter

"I can keep it together!" (Cut to Mao Mao trying and failing to shovel ice cream in his mouth with his helmet on) NSADGEDHAMADH

Wait a second. Mao's eating mint chocolate chip ice cream. ISN'T CHOCOLATE TOXIC TO CATS?!

"But you said I was part of the team!!" "Then you're...off the team."

Adorabat crying while showing Eugene the picture OUCH MY HEART...

"I used to go exploring in those caves with Mom all the time..." I'm guessing those are the caves from the promo?

"She wasn't afraid of anything!" " Well Adorabat definitely takes after her mother...

"And then one day, Sonara didn't come back with you." Ooh her name's Sonara!! Pretty!! I can't tell if they chose it cuz it sounds like Sonar or because it means "pleasant sounding"

Glad to see Adorabat's still a die-hard metal fan, even with Eugene

Oof Mao isn't taking this well at ALL if he's pretending Adorabat's molt is her...

OOH SHIT ADORABAT RAN OFF TO THE CAVES - wait a minute no she didn't. OH NO EUGENE WENT TO THE CAVES

Ooh there's Sonara's looking glass, bet that's gonna be important

Yay Adorabat saved her dad!

Damn Adorabat must be super traumatized after basically watching her mother die. No wonder she tried to murder Boba-Chan!

Oh the only way to stop the monster is by screaming!

(Mao Mao hears Adorabat scream) "ADORABAT?!" ADOPTIVE DAD POWERS ACTIVATE

Ooh her mother's figure appears over her when she says she's not afraid of anyone...maybe her spirit's inside of her or something?

REVENGE TIME BAYBEY

HOLY SHIT ADORABAT FUCKING MURDERED THAT THING

Eugene & Adorabat both apologized to each other I...

"You can't just leave without the most fearless member of the group!" YAAY ADORABAT'S BACK (Also how are we gonna explain to Eugene Adorabat's scared of the dark?)

"I'll mess 'em up real good! So good, their mommies and daddies won't be able to recognize them when I'm done..." Daaammmnnn...

"She scares me :)"

I wonder...is Sonara really dead? Or are they gonna pull a Kipo & have her still be alive but in a different form?

Badge-A-Fire explosion

Uhh...where is Badgerclops? And why is Mao Mao on the top bunk?!

Of course Badgerclops is petty enough to install a fake monster alarm on his laptop to wake Mao Mao and Adorabat up.

"This is a super-serious work meeting, as you can see by the fact that I haven't provided any snacks!" No snacks?! This must be a serious issue!! /s

"As you know, I am a creative genius. Sometimes there's so much natural creative genius that my brain overloads, and I enter a heightened state that I call 'Ultra Focus'..." Oh so basically like hyperfixation?

"...where I break into a creative sprint, inventing super-advanced technology at supernatural speeds, unparalleled by anyone in the entire field of science." Okay maybe only a LITTLE bit like hyperfixation...wait a second, IS THAT WHY BADGERCLOPS IS SO TIRED ALL THE TIME?!

Uhh did he get his arm stuck in the front door? HE TOOK THE AEROCYCLE?!

"...I forget everything the next morning." Remember my headcanon that Badgerclops represses his memories? Yea...

"Which is why it's not my fault and I don't think I should be criticized :D" TBH I screamed with laughter at this scene solely because of the expression he made

...HE GAVE THE SKY PIRATES THE GEM CELL?! I mean he clearly wasn't thinking right when he did it BUT STILL?!

"Oh hey, I told you I'd use that weird elevator thing!" Dude you LITERALLY used it in Ultraclops. What are you talking about.

"If the Sky Pirates had the Gem Cell, they would've used it already!" That is a fair point ngl.

Umm...did Badgerclops give Adorabat a BOMB?!

Tbh if my friend woke me up in the middle of the night with weird-looking eyes and handed me a timer while saying something about an explosion I would DEFINITELY not go back to sleep afterwards...

I'm sorry, IS THE WHOLE VALLEY GONNA BLOW UP?! WHAT THE HELL DID HE MAKE?!

Mao wiping Badgerclops' tears I'm

A paper towel dispenser? Well that's not that bad - IS THAT A GIANT PAIR OF PANTS?!

Ooh it's not a shock collar it's a translator!! That makes a bit more sense... "I HAVE NO REMORSE OR CONCEPT OF EMPATHY!" ...if the monster doesn't have remorse or empathy how does it know what those words mean...

Badgerclops keeps telling Mao Mao & Adorabat not to criticize him...hmm...I wonder who criticized his inventions that made him that way...*cough* HIS MOM *cough*

"Are all your inventions this weird?!" "YOU'RE WEIRD!!"

IM SORRY DID BADGERCLOPS BUILD A DANCING MACHINE INTO MAO MAO'S BONES?! HIS BONES?! AND HE MADE ADORABAT A SECOND MEGAPEG?!

What in the absolute hell is going on dgaadhdagdadga

Okay but when Badgerclops clutched his head and started shaking when Mao Mao asked why he made those things...I FELT THAT IN MY HEART I FELT THAT IN MY SOUL

Ngl this scene really hit home for me cuz that's how I act when I have a breakdown...

The timer went off but nothing blew up - WAIT, IS THAT A REPLICA OF MECHA HOSSORAFFASNAKEARANG?!

"Initializing Totally Humane Knockout Procedure." (Proceeds to slam the Sheriff's Dept. into the ground) ajdajdgdad

Ooh...ohh they're on some sort of water park...ride...thing??

"And if I didn't want us to get out, then I made sure we couldn't...with super-strong shoe things." But there isn't any on Adorabat, can't she just squeeze herself out?

Ooh I'm getting Pirates of the Caribbean vibes

There's the Gem Cell, it must be powering the ride! Also the robotic arm slaps Mao's hand the same way Mao slaps Badgerclops' hand in Flyaway skkkk

"My amazing creativity is finally gonna destroy us all..." "Hey, at least we'll be destroyed together!" Fair point, fair point

The shoosh returneth

"I always loved inventing." So he was an inventor ever since he was little? Daww.

YOUNG BC IS SO ADORABLE!! He has a lil medical patch instead of an eyepatch which is def more accurate to real life...but what's the vest for? Protection in case he falls? A pressure stim?

That figure's def his mom since they rejected his ideas & he mentions she was mean to him. Also the theory that his mom's a villain seems a bit stronger since they straight-up hand him a tool kid + a set of blueprints with no regard to his safety...

"Also there was a bunch of other kids at school and some other people throughout my life who mocked me relentlessly." THEN WHY'D YOU TELL ADORABAT YOU COULDN'T RELATE TO HER WHEN SHE SAID NO ONE WANTED TO BE HER FRIEND?! (Also I noticed literally all the kids are other badgers, so I'm assuming Badgerclops grew up sheltered like Mao Mao did.)

So the Ultra Focus is basically a really weird coping mechanism to deal with all the abuse and bullying he went through? Holy fuckkk

"They only made fun of you because they were jealous. Happened to me my whole life!" Umm...

"Even the dance chip I surgically implanted in your brain?" Excuse me the dance chip that you WHAT

"I love you-" HE SAID IT 💗💓💗💓

"I'm finally around people who love and understand me..."

Wait did the cannon misfire? DID IT BLOW A HOLE IN THE GROUND?!

OH HE ACTUALLY DID CREATE AN ANIMATRONIC BAND?! I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE!!

"Take it away, Boss Hosstritch!" (Distorted garbling)

Oof Mao caught all the water

"We hope you all enjoyed being Badgerclops' friend." 💞💕💞💕

Not that anyone cares but I noticed there's a picture of some of the Sweetypies on the monitors, meaning 1. Badgerclops tested it out using them first, or 2. Badgerclops just likes those Sweetypies for whatever reason. Tho that makes me wonder why he'd choose Pinky of all people...

THE SKY PIRATES WERE INSIDE THE ANIMATRONICS THE WHOLE TIME?! THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTE

Zing Your Heart Out

Why are they giving out rotten sushi??

"HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME EATING SOMETHING GROSSLY?!"

Ooh god Chester's gonna be super freaking annoying in this episode, I can feel it.

"What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!" BAYBEY

Jesus what a prick. GET HIM MAO MAO

Ngl that background's really pretty...

Oooh no the Ruby Pure Heart's being weird again. Ooh no.

FUCK YEA ROAST HIM BABY - Did Adorabat's eyes turn purple because the Ruby Pure Heart gave her powers?

Oh so the siren in Badgerclops' robo-arm is a backup monster alarm?

More Sky Pirates - and the Pure Heart's being weird again...

"I'd tell you but despite your height it'd go right over your HEAD!" Asdfgghjjk

"For someone with two brains, you're not very BRIGHT!" EVEN BETTER

Kevin said he was raising money for a school trip, then for a trip to the hospital...which one is he raising money for?!

"SILENCE PANCAKE, LEST YE BE BUTTERED"

OOH NO SHE ATTACKED MAO AND BC

"IT FEELS LIKE THE WEIGHT OF ONE THOUSAND PLANETS!!"

"One second, I'm getting mad, and the next thing you know-" Is she freaking possessed??

Wait, is the Pure Heart TALKING to Adorabat?! How?!

Cluckins you don't ask people what's wrong with their eyeballs...even if there is something wrong with their eyeballs

"I CAN'T FEEL MY SELF-RESPECT!!"

The pure 'oh shit' on Marion's face when Adorabat turns to her

Half of the people she insulted showed up to her party! Didn't that mean she loved them?!

Oh god not this bitch again - nvm, thanks Adorabat

"Taking over the castle and ruling Pure Heart Valley forever does sound nice..." This is starting to remind me of that one AU where Adorabat turns evil, becomes the ruler of the Sky Pirates, then convinces them to kill Snugglemagne and becomes the queen of Pure Heart...she isn't gonna kill Snugglemagne, is she?

What did Adorabat tell Snugglemagne?! I WANNA KNO

Why is Pinky stealing teeth...reminds me of this

NO BC DON'T EAT THE TEETH

"I...hate myself! Therefore, I'm invincible!" So the trick to not getting your ego destroyed...is to not have an ego. Sounds reasonable.

"Your bug platter, my king?" Genderfluid Adorabat rights

"Mao Mao, your head looks like a CROW!" (Mao Mao caws) IT WAS A LIE HE ISN'T A CAT HE WAS A CROW THIS WHOLE TIME-

"It looks like a half-melted ice cream cone!!" That is...a strange way to describe your own neck...

"Well, I'm...bad (◡‿◡)" Kinda weird that the canonically depressed character can't even cleverly insult himself

...why does Adorabat's skin smell like old cantaloupe

OH SHE IS POSSESSED!!

HOLY SHIT MAO WAS GONNA FUCKING MURDER ADORABAT TO SAVE THE KINGDOM?! THANK GOD HE SAW HER JOKE BOOK, HOLY SHIT

Positivity outweighs negativity!

"WHERE DOES A 800 POUND GORILLA SIT?!" "Where ever it wants!◝(⁰▿⁰)◜" Curse you for making me laugh...

OOH NO THE JOKEBOOK! - Wait nvm Mao remembers Adorabat's jokes!

I think the reason they used that joke is because it represents Mao Mao and Adorabat - Adorabat is blue, and she wants to be like Mao Mao, who wears red. What is BLUE, and smells like (is similar to) RED paint?

YAAAY HE BROKE HER FREE FROM MIND CONTROL!! And did BC get Thanos snapped in the background?

"Thank goodness you're alright! We almost..." Fucking murdered you? Yea

"Might we have our crown and kingdom back, yes?"

"Sorry for being such a monster today." "You're a monster everyday." Is that a joke because she was today's villain, a reference to Sleeper Sofa or foreshadowing?

I hope Mao Mao and Badgerclops decide to investigate what's up with the Heart in Season Two, cause I highly doubt they'll let Adorabat getting fucking possessed go under the radar.

The visual gag of Mao trying to stomp out his ice cream cone like a cigarette is perfect. This is peak comedy everyone else go home

WHOOP CHESTER'S ASS GUYS

Strange Bedfellows

"So, your name is Boss Hosstrich, but you're not actually the boss?" How long did it take him to realize that

JFC Mao & Orangusnake are REALLY hellbent on killing each other huh...at least the deputies and the other Sky Pirates have common sense.

Hahaha nice Dragon Ball Z reference - and they both got crushed by the monster! Lovely.

...did Mao seriously think he died and went to heaven?

So does Orangusnake breathe through Tanner or do they both breathe independently & Coby can feel when Tanner can't?

Dang those skeletons remind me of the Steven Universe Future episode Growing Pains. And why is Lucky inside of Orangusnake? "THAT WAS MY LUNCH, JERK!" Ooh that's why.

"They're full of these tiny, little cracks or, as they're known in the medical field, 'whoopsie-boo-boos'." AGSADGASGADGDASG

Damn their skeletons are just gonna freaking evaporate huh...

"The doctor said I was very brave :D"

Ooh shit the Deputies and the other Sky Pirates met at the same elevator, are they gonna fight - nevermind, they're still calling time.

JESUS CHRIST ARE MAO & ORANGUSNAKE EVER GONNA STOP?!

"You don't have the guts!" "I have a million guts." That is...mildly concerning

"Yeah, I wanted to be a baker, before I realized I liked hurting people so much." Then why doesn't she just like, help Muffins or something?

Tbh I thought Ratarang was holding a gun and I'm glad it was just a weirdly wrapped banana

CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME.

"Aww, y'all shouldn't have - this is empty." "Just like my heart when you injure yourself!!" He loves him sm...💓💓

"Why didn't you bring me weapons?!" "Because this is a hospital, and I'm a good boy (◡‿◡ )"

"I really feel like this could be a turning point in their relationship." (Mao and Orangusnake proceed to try and kill each other again) *sigh*

Ngl Mao & Orangusnake constantly repeating themselves is getting super annoying.

That hospital bed beeping is giving me flashbacks to all the times I went to the hospital for seizures...

"You know y'all could live like this, like, all the time if you didn't go around hurting people, right?" "Pssh! Tsk-tsk, boy. You know I gots to hurt people." Uhh you guys should really listen to Badgerclops he knows what tf he's talking about

UUhh, whose egg is that? "MAMA" ASGagddahDh

Of course they had to land in freaking CEMENT to realize that maybe they shouldn't kill each other

Did Mao just deflate like a ballo- oh nvm there he go.

Boneless Mao. Boneless Mao.

And Mao saved Orangusnake!! By...breaking every bone in his body somehow.

"I'm the kind of hero who wants to save you so I can fight you later...at the right time and place." Just gonna file this along with the credit score scene from Perfect Couple in the 'Orangumao' folder.

Is Badgerclops duct taping Mao to the stretcher? I mean, at least he won't move & hurt himself again but geez

Tbh Zing would’ve made a better finale than this ep. At least it had a sequel hook

[merryfortune]

Cold Moon Rising

Fandom: Star Twinkle PreCure

Ship: Madoka/Mao

Word Count: 2.6k

Author’s Note: set before episode 19

Synopsis: Once upon a midnight dreary, Madoka pondered weak and weary, nearly napping there came a tapping... a midnight thief hailing from the cosmos, tis a visitor, and nothing more, Madoka thought as she confronted Blue Cat.

  Madoka’s room was cold. It was too early in the winter season for her to justify turning on a heater, she felt. This was more a personal rule than a family rule. After all, they had more than enough money to cover the cost of keeping her room sufficiently heated but it was barely December, after all but Madoka thought it would be good practice of self-restraint and discipline if she kept such a personal rule close to her heart even though she was currently suffering for it. Her room was frigid and no matter how she tried to sleep, she felt as though ice permeated her bed. No matter how she clung to her soft blankets and how she pulled her knees up to her chin to solidify her core, Madoka was unable to warm herself.

  Thus, with a little bit of defeat, she drew herself from her bed. She took a breath and she swore, if she exhaled, she would see a mist in the darkness just before her eyes. Though, such a thing did not occur when she finally did exhale.

  Madoka felt that her room was lonely feeling as she made the grand pilgrimage to the other side of it, where her heater was located. She passed her window and she felt a crescent moon’s grace upon her from just beyond her silken curtains. She listened to the tap and scratch of a tree reaching out and touching the glass of her window.

  Madoka knelt and she began fiddling with the knobs on her heater. It was located beside her desk and even with the poor light, she was able to understand how it all worked. Most of it, she felt was committed memory but through tactile touches, she was able to estimate on and off. She flicked a switch and gave a hard twist. The machine groaned and she smiled. She realised it had been quite a few months since it had last been in use so she made a mental note of asking her parents to bring in a maintenance man to check that it hadn’t accumulated dust or anything else which might be hazardous. But, for tonight, for a few hours, Madoka felt like the heater would be safe enough to use.

  She stood up to her full height and stretched. She yawned. She wondered what the time was. Perhaps just after midnight as she had been tossing and turning quite a bit, bristling with strenuous nervous energy and her mind racing with all sorts of things. Everything from items that she wanted to add to her to-do list to even just reliving exciting memories from earlier today. No matter how many times she transformed into Cure Selene, it gave her a rush. It was a lot like the first time she had shot an arrow and it had landed on the bullseye: it was satisfying and gave her a release from the humdrum, got her blood racing and her heart pounding. It was as wonderful as it was distracting.

  Still, with her room slowly begin to heat up, Madoka felt that she might be able to put such feelings to rest and get some sleep. After all, she had school in the morning, she needed some rest. Madoka yawned again and she listened to the tap and scratch of twigs scraping against glass. It was funny, she thought, how one gets used to a type of white noise and then never notices it until a third factor came along. Or, at least that was what she thought before she had a striking resurgence of memories.

  Day in, day out, she would leave from the adorned porch of her house in a limousine and she would go to school. Before that, they would circle back around the garden and then leave via the front gate. The grounds in which her house stood did not possess any trees; at least not this close to the house. Only some low shrubbery and some flowers all encased in sprawling green lawns. Therefore, the ambience emanating from her window now existed in a state of possibility.

  Madoka’s room may have grown warm but her body grew cold. Some sort of terror struck her as she walked towards the window. The curtain did not rustle or flutter nor did it seem particularly unusual. There was not a nary shadow cross its wrinkles and folds which did not seem out of place but as phosphenes spiralled, Madoka gave such a thought no stock.

  She pulled it across, and the vision of the moon dazzled her. Madoka closed her eyes against the light until it dulled. She heard laughter.

  “I thought you’d never come.” A voice said.

  Madoka sputtered as she opened her eyes. Blue Cat. It was Blue Cat. She was gawking directly unto the image and figure of the infamous thief. She couldn’t believe her eyes. It was physically impossible, and all Mao could do was laugh as she so easily incurred such distraught from Madoka.

  “H-How?” stuttered Madoka.

  Mao shot up. Her plaited pigtails bounced as she did so. She stood and she still provided no illumination for Madoka until she drew in nearer.

  Madoka placed her hands on the cold windowpane. She looked over and saw that Mao had with her some sort of device which allowed her to hover at eye level with Madoka who resided on the second floor of the mansion. The device took the form of a broomstick but rather than end in straw, it ended in a rocket booster-like adornment festooned with ribbons and bows.

  With a huffy breath, Madoka decided to open her windows. They swung out quietly, which she was thankful for. Cold air assailed her room in the form of a frigid zephyr, but Mao remained unperturbed. She preened before Madoka who held onto herself with freezing hands. They crossed in front of her and she bore her most responsibly stern look with a pouty, lower lip.

  “So, what do you want?” Madoka asked. “You really shouldn’t be here.”

  “You can say that again, huh, tuts?” Mao joked. “I know all about your Daddy’s little game. Though, I have to admit, he’s barely a player.”

  “Blue Cat.” Madoka warned with a glare.

  “I’ve stolen anything you; you haven’t got anything of value to me. Well, not in the physical sense. Information, yes, I may have fossicked through a few things here and there.” Mao replied.

  She sat back down on the rod of her broomstick-like hoverboard. Sparks and embers jetted out of the end, not yet setting fire to the flammable decorations but close enough. Mao smiled. She looked so natural, sitting here in the midst of impossibility; bathed in the blue light of the moon and the wider cosmos. She was all too proud and dignified. Beautiful, too, from just behind those sunglasses she wore even now in the thick of the freezing night. Madoka shivered. Wasn’t she cold?

  Mao smiled. “I really should be going, wouldn’t want to attract unsavoury attention from those who would profit to see me behind bars or worse but… I couldn’t help myself. I thought I better say goodbye rather than leave without saying anything. I couldn’t do that to one of my dear comrades from a previous heist. I’m not that cruel…”

  “Well, I’m glad that you at least understand the severity of punishments in store for us both if my Father were to find out about you.” Madoka said.

  “It’s a tough life being a part-time Defender of the Universe, a small-time thief, and all-round good girl for your parents.” Mao teased.

  “Goodbye, Blue Cat.” Madoka said.

  “Yeah, that’s true. You’re not a small-time thief. You helped me! That puts you in the big leagues.” Mao teased.

  “Blue Cat.” Madoka warned again.

  “I know, I know. You bought that Princess Pen fair and square with your Earthling donuts. Promise to treat me to them sometime?” Mao asked.

  “Perhaps…” Madoka relented. “I just don’t want you getting in trouble, is all. Be it with my Father or with other authorities.”

  Mao laughed. “D’aw, you’re so cute, Selene. Worried about me before yourself.”

  “Some has to worry for you.” Madoka said. “It may as well be me. You haven’t anyone else, yes? Your fans as the starlet Mao but no one except us knows that you and Mao are one in the same. I doubt most your fans would take the news as well as Prunce did.”

  “Hm, yes, that is true.” Mao mused and she smiled.

  Her smile fell in between the shadows yet was starlit, nonetheless. Her glasses glinted and she took them off her face. She patted them down so that they sat, just jutting out of from behind the peak of her shirt and let them rest there. Her eyes looked so different without them, and in the dim as well. Madoka was awed by cranberry-like hue of them.

  Both girls shivered slightly as a breeze whistled past. Madoka’s heart ached. She really didn’t want to stay up any later and she didn’t think she had it in her to house an inter-galactic fugitive, even if it was the dead of night. After all, the dead of night always gave birth to the life of dawn. She couldn’t risk it. She couldn’t risk her friends like that, even if it meant giving the cold shoulder to another one of them.

  Madoka was sadly enamoured with that smile Mao bore, even as her bare shoulders prickled in the cold night.

  “I’ll bid thee farewell soon enough, Madoka, don’t you worry about that.” Mao said. “I’m nearly done bothering you. Thanks for realising I was here.”

  “I’m glad I did as well. In future, perhaps, you could, um… you could just call my name. I’ll hear you. I promise. No matter how cold the night or how deep the sleep. If you called for me, I would hear you.” Madoka told Mao with a sincere passion limited by that which she could and could not afford. “Promise you won’t catch a cold?”

  “Promise.” Mao replied.

  A lukewarm smile embedded itself upon Madoka’s lips and now, it was Mao’s turn to be dazzled by such a demure smile.

  “But,” Mao added, “there is one last thing I would like to steal from Earth before I leave.”

  Madoka blinked. “Oh? What might that be?”

  “Just a little souvenir.” Mao replied.

  She leaned in and, like the thief she was, she stole a kiss from Madoka. Madoka stiffened. Her eyes widened. Mao smiled into the kiss. It was sloppy and there was a sense that it was ill-practiced. All instinct, going full steam ahead with no thought to technique or anything else which may have made it more pleasant. Yet, Madoka relaxed into the kiss, nonetheless. She closed her eyes and she kissed back.

  Mao was rather dashing in her impulsivity and her own quirky strain of how she demonstrated the suave element of her phantom thief persona. Mao tasted of things that Madoka couldn’t begin to identify. Perfumes from distant places and sweets using ingredients that Madoka couldn’t begin to imagine the possibility of. Her hand reached across and caressed Madoka’s face. Madoka crooned into the kiss, kissing back as chastely as she could but this thief incited something a little less than ladylike within her.

  The kiss ended all too abruptly. Mao’s hand fell away and she laughed to herself. A small, almost forlorn chuckle before she fidgeted with her sunglasses again. Madoka blushed.

  “I’ll be seeing you.” Madoka said.

  “Hopefully not.” Mao replied. “After all, we might be amiable, but our goals are the crosshairs, remember? I don’t want to trample your little heart, is all.”

  “But those crosshairs meet somewhere. I still have some of the Princess Pens that you are after…” Madoka replied.

  “That you do… That you do. For now, anyway. Who knows? Maybe I’ll send you a postcard.” Mao teased.

  Madoka shook her head. “Mm, no, you’re too honourable for that. Surely you would duel for them, fair and square.”

  Mao’s lips quirked. She wasn’t so certain of that. Her expression, and therefore her thoughts, were unreadable to Madoka as she wore her sunglasses, even in the loom of such nightly darkness. Madoka’s heart wretched as she placed her hands on the windowsill once more. The distance between them was so little yet so great.

  “Farewell, Mao, stay safe.” Madoka bade her with a tender voice.

  “Bye, bye, Madoka.” Mao murmured.

  She took a breath and a gust stirred up. Her broomstick rocked upwards in almost hiccup-like motions. She waved her hand nonchalantly at Madoka then jetted off. Madoka’s hair fluttered back in the wake. Sparks, orange and yellow and maybe pink as well, danced in Mao’s trail before she became an inky blue blip like all the other stars of the sky.

  Madoka closed the window and she closed her heart, as well. Blue Cat was not her enemy, but she wasn’t her friend either. Even if her heart did yearn otherwise and the tingling sensation on her kissed lips begged otherwise. Regardless, Madoka did wish Mao nothing but the best. She knew the girl’s goal to be true of heart, even if it put them in unfavourable positions juxtaposed against one another. At the very least, with a clear conscious, Madoka could say that she wanted the phantom thief to be safe.

  She took a breath. Her room was cold once more. She could hear the low, rumbling whirr of her heater regardless. Her mood became crestfallen. It had been strangely warm with Mao, she thought, even though she had endured gust of cold wind after gust of cold wind whilst talking with her. Her heart heavied. She had barely left and Madoka missed her sorely already.

  But, unfortunately, she could not spend her whole night pining; she chastised herself. After all, she had archery practice in the morning, followed by school, followed by studying. And that is assuming that she doesn’t get cajoled into having fun with the other girls or tasked with defending the peace of not only the town of Mihoshi, but the whole planet or other planets too from the Notraiders and their devious forces as well. It was a lot of work for a fourteen-year-old girl, but it was work that Madoka adored, nonetheless.

  She just wished that she could simplify it. Just like how Hikaru and the others had simplified her life by giving her space to breathe and have fun, she wanted to do the same for Mao. She wanted to invite her along and let her have some fun as well as it was more than evident to Madoka that there was something very harsh in her past and it was that pain which compelled her forward, no matter to what trickery or thievery that it took her; she deserved relief from that, Madoka felt.

  Madoka sighed as she climbed back into her bed. Her sheets felt alien around her as she wrapped herself up and dearly wished that she could do the same for Mao despite the reservations her mind put forth, but the heart wanted the heart wanted. No matter how silly, it seemed. Madoka sighed and closed her eyes. She tried to will herself to sleep but still, she was ailed but now, with new thoughts which were all hued an electric blue and in feline shape. Worse still, she was still cold.

[16-233]

I have a million asks in my inbox so I’m going to answer it in FAQ format here.

What exactly happened to Fan Yilin/What did coach Wang do?

AFAIK basically what Valeri did to Katelyn. It has a lot to do with training technique and weight control. The Chinese coaches never quite figured out how to coach bars to power gymnasts, so whenever the gymnast gets heavy, they are unable to get the height they need for release moves or hit their pirouettes. From what I heard, Fan is particularly bad at controlling her weight (not that, in the best case scenario, she needs to) and whenever her weight goes up, her routine pretty much becomes a mess and the more it happened the more extreme the punishment got. (For example, more than one person has told me that coach wang slapped Fan in the face when she got weighed. Also once, she "ran away” and when they found her, she was hiding in the kitchen crying while eating a bowl of cup noodles)

The younger coaches are a lot better at coaching with heavier weights, and the Shanghai team coaches included (they are a “younger” team in general in terms of staff), so when Fan Yilin went back to the Shanghai team after Rio, she thrived under their coaching.

When the initial roaster of coaching teams came out, Fan Yilin broke into tears during a live chat, saying she doesn’t want to go back. (But she didn’t really say anything else.)

AFAIK Shanghai team and sports bureau fought really hard for her (and Mao Yi, who was pretty much Mattie Larsoned at that point) and got them under the coaching team with Coach Zhou on it (the Shanghai team coach).

Is coach Wang going to get fired/punished?

Well, here’s the thing. Keep in mind I’m not making excuses or anything because physical abuse from an adult is not acceptable at all. I’m just trying to explain the cultural aspects and put things in context.

Both my parents beat me up when i fked up as a kid, I remember refusing to practice piano and my mom chasing me around the apartment with a feather duster. It’s just what parents did when they didn’t know better. All of my peers got spanked or at least a slap on the head, save for one kid who was like the typical mild-tempered well-behaved kid who had really mild-tempered parents. The teachers, even during the time I grew up, were expected, by the parents, to strike the students if they were ill-behaved because the parents believed that if the kids are not punished right away they won’t learn their lesson.

In immigrant communities, we often joke about not spanking kids as “white bullshit”, so it’s not that Wang is an anomaly, the whole culture has to change, and I would say that it is slowly changing.

Nowadays Chinese people are more conscious about the right parenting techniques and for the most part, refrain from giving out spanking willy-nilly (but kids still got one if they really fked up and it’s not against the law for parents to spank their kids if they are not otherwise abusive). There used to be very prevalent cultural belief that if there’s no pain, the kid will just forget not to do it or something. (which behavioral psychology has proven wrong) Furthermore, teachers are no longer expected and allowed to give out physical punishment, but coaches in the Chinese system kind of straddle this area between a teacher and a parent/guardian, so they give themselves more liberty and also the court of public opinion used to give them more liberty.

I don’t particularly like coach Wang because I think something is wrong with his coaching technique/pacing that he can’t make a gymnast peak at the right time to save his life (or maybe he’s got his priorities all fucked up that he peaks them at the internal meets) and he’s got a mouth that people wanna rip off (like calling Luo Huang a cripple when she kept getting injured), but he doesn’t exist in a vacuum.

For example, coach bao xianqin and coach sun haiou all have gym fans saying that they’ve slapped or spanked their gymnasts, and coach xiong famously dumped ice cold water on a gymnast who overslept in the morning during winter. Yet, whenever the gymnasts talk about coach xiong they always call him papa bear and are very close with him, and coach Sun famously stood up and fought tooth and nail for Bai Yawen when it’s proposed that she give her BB EF spot to Shang Chunsong during the Nanning worlds: Bai was really inconsistent in training, so much so that they swapped her out and put the more consistent Huang Huidan up during TF (if she was consistent during training, the order would have been Shang, Yao, Bai during TF I think).

Basically, culturally, the Chinese society needs to move away from considering physical punishment from a parental figure as something that’s “for your own good” and part of being a good parent is being strict and making them perform.

I don’t think it’s a particularly “Chinese” problem as we hear similar things from Romania too, but I think there’s a real, observable generation and attitude shift when it comes to physical punishment, and you see me talking about coaches that “mellowed out in their old age” because 1. It is no longer as widely accepted a method of dealing with children and 2. They’ve learned better ways of teaching/coaching.

In a wider societal context, I feel like my generation talks about being spanked by our parents as a child but the current generation are no longer punished in the same way (they have their phones/laptops taken away as punishment now lol) and that it’s really seen as something that the “last generation” did. I think it does speak volumes that the coaches rumored to punish physically are my parent’s age.

Most of the younger coaches I hear doesn’t even control weight as strictly as the older ones and the national team has been making gradual changes like hiring counselors/psychologists for example. I think the hiring of Chow Liang means they are going to increase conditioning etc and move away from the old school way of keeping the gymnasts super lithe and controlling diet to do so.

What I think the chinese national team should improve upon:

I think the coaches need behavioral psychology training and parenting seminars regularly because I can say my parents didn’t know any better when they raised me, but it’s 20-fucking-18 and if they are going to be guardians of young kids they need to learn how to parent. In the Chinese system, they pretty much are the surrogate parents and they should learn how to be a good one.

In the same vein, the national team should help relocate the spouses and children of national team coaches to Beijing so that the coaches themselves know how to be an actual fucking parent. Right now, because the coaches come from all over China, their spouses and children stay in their hometown while they work in Beijing (because of Hukou) and you hear the older coaches talk about how they haven't went home to see their children in a thousand years. I don’t think it’s acceptable and I think if they haven’t even learned to be a parent to their own children, how can we expect them to be good surrogate parents to others?

More exchanges training camps with the UK or US or other countries that knows what to do with power gymnasts instead of shoehorning into a very narrow technique and then blaming the gymnasts when it doesn’t go well.

Not just the national team but an awareness effort nation-wide about physical punishment being not an effective parenting technique. When it’s no longer acceptable in society to punish children this way, it will no longer be acceptable in the national team or any other sort of sports teams or schools or establishments.

[iguana012]

The Lord of the Wedding Rings: The Return of the King - iguana’s 2017 HELLsinki Worlds recap

This is it guys, the last big competition before the Olympics. So much potential for great skates, great disasters and great distress; this competition did not fail to deliver. Nor did the announcers, who were screaming out names and scores as if it were a wrestling match. And it was, in one way or another. Albeit a sparklier one. For a brief couple of days, we thought Javier Fernandez was gonna win his 3rd consecutive World title and I almost had those memes ready but at the same time I knew coming from behind like a wrecking ball was Yuzuru Hanyu’s specialty. To nobody’s surprise Evgenia Medvedeva broke a record; to everyone’s surprise, she only broke it in the long program. Meanwhile, Wenjing Sui and Cong Han’s blues for koolk brought the pairs crown back to China and Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir purple rained on Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron’s parade. Let’s start the recap!

It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Technical Panel, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Nine to the Judges, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And the rest of the rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. Deep in the land of Eden, in the Fires of Mount Timshel, the Philosopher Lord Machida forged a master ring in secret, and into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate Hanyu’s all life. One ring to rule them all.

But on April 1st 2017, the world had changed. Yuzuru Hanyu could feel it in the ice. The stars were veiled. Something stirred in the East of Eden. A sleepless malice. The ring was THERE.

Ok seriously now, this guy had been waiting for this gold for 3 years. The first time he got it there were HOLY SHITS and OH MY GODS and CONTROVERSIES because 2014 Worlds is still remembered as that one competition where the difference between gold and silver was 

None of that shit here. Yuzuru Hanyu’s long program performance should be framed and taken into the church. Because no one else comes close to his ability to make those quads look like spinning on a fucking chair, all the while hearing music in the background and interpreting it. He really needed this gold medal and I’m glad he got it. 

World Silver Medalist Shoma Uno has been skating to Fantasy for Violin and Orchestra (aka Ladies in Lavender) all season and that’s a song I will personally forever associate with Tatsuki Machida’s retirement (ahahahah) but that program gave Shoma a new personal best, a medal, and a 2nd place in the World standings. Not too shabby going into the Olympic season. 

Boyang Jin has successfully defended his bronze medal with two great programs. I just can’t believe it was only 2 years ago when he and Shoma were battling for the JUNIOR Worlds gold and now here they are giving some uncles a run for their money. His quad lutz is a masterpiece. It can probably belong in the Sistine Chapel. 

Javier Fernandez’ Elvis wasn’t successful enough for the long program. While he dominated the short with his Matrix Malaguena, Hanyu skating a flawless program before him proved to be too much pressure for the two-time World Champion (how the fuck). tl;dr it was a mess. Probably a ~hot~ mess for some ladies and gents. 

Patrick Chan has successfully defended his 5th place from last year but this time he got a small bronze medal and joined the 100 club in the short! He also landed a quad salchow and not so Canadian axels. His programs this season were great and his skating is great. 

Nathan Chen had boot issues huh? Well honestly, after US Nationals and 4CC I would have been very surprised to see him skate another clean competition because: it’s his first senior year, he is pressured af, he will be even more pressured going into the Olympic season but hey - at least he got a nice, cold bottle of Coca-Cola to make him feel better. 

THE LADIES

And here’s the most disastrous event of the whole shebang. Well at least it was disastrous enough for Evgenia Medvedeva to refrain herself from smiling during a 9/11 program?? I guess??

Heavy silver medal favorite Anna Pogorilaya reverted to the old Pogofalls in the long program. It was almost like she’s been under a spell since Boston and it broke near its 1 year anniversary. That was certainly not what the Russian federation wanted to see, but Maria Sotskova wasn’t much better either. All in all Ilia Averbukh proved his point; his programs can save the world and Russia’s 3 spots at the Olympics. 

Speaking of spots, the Canadian ladies managed to get 3 spots for the first time in a millennium and they did it in high fashion; both Kaetlyn Osmond and Gabby Daleman made the podium. Who would have guessed? Figure skating is full of surprises after all. And it looks to me like the judges are more ready to reward Osmond than Pogorilaya. She’s going with a good reputation in the Olympic season and she has the support she needs to follow the footsteps of Joannie Rochette. All she has to do is deliver. 

Delivering is not always the best solution for other girls though. Wakaba Higuchi was criminally underscored in the short program. And by criminally I mean she can sue those judges for boycotting Japan getting 3 spots. With a 3Lz-3T and a 3F in the second half of the program she was 9th after the short. Really bitch? Really? They suddenly decided they were gonna punish the lack of steps into the solo jump? The fuck? Mai Mihara was great but that mistake in the short program was very costly Veeery costly. And lastly Rika Hongo was very brave. She was tired, she was injured, she wasn’t supposed to be there. But she was brave and I applaud her. 

The American ladies were lucky. And they did enough to keep 3 spots. The judges also did enough there I said it. Karen Chen did great, I love her short program. 

Basically everyone got back home having fulfilled their main goal, except for Japan, who has the deepest field in the World after Russia. For the first time in over 10 years, only two ladies will represent Japan at the Olympics. Figure skating fans are speculating who JSF will favor which ladies are more likely to get it. Will Mao Asada get her triple axel back? Will Satoko Miyahara manage to get back to her top form after injury? Will Marin Honda make a splash in her first year as a senior? Will Mai Mihara continue to stay consistent? This topic probably needs a separate post of its own. 

PAIRS AND ICE DANCE

Aliona Savchenko is a badass. The height she gets on the triple twist is probably the equivalent of two, two and half quad lutzes of Boyang Jin. Also throw triple axel!! Wtf bro my ankles hurt just looking at it!!

But Wenjing Sui and Cong Han were no doubt the class of the field. Two A-M-A-Z-I-N-G programs. You can see how connected they are. Not a single movement is wasted. Truly a gift in the field and I’m so grateful Wenjing recovered so well. 

Shoutout to Xiaoyu Yu for her potato finish! She’s done so well this season considering circumstances. And she’s so beautiful to watch!

Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron had pretty uninspiring programs this season but the free dance they put together was perfection. Yeah it’s nothing we haven’t already seen but everything about that performance was top stuff. 

Scott Moir had to fuck up to showcase Tessa Virtue’s flawlessness. But their Prince SD is great stuff. So great it broke some nice records. Including most of the free dance event (seriously what the fuck was that mess).

This is probably all I have to say about Worlds? This review sucks big time but I’m so tired I feel like I've been competing myself. Well that and the fact that Japan losing one spot really put me off. And I’m constantly worried about Satoko Miyahara so my snark wasn’t as sharp as it usually is during other competitions. This one was too much of a Real Deal y’know what I mean. 

Meanwhile the GP competitions next season look something like this

10/20-22 Cup of Russia 

10/27-29 Skate Canada 

11/3-5 Cup of China 

11/10- 12 NHK Trophy 

11/17- 19 Trophee de France 

11/24- 26 Skate America 

To be more exact 

Ah it smells like Olympics already. 

Just like last season and the season before last season I’m gonna make a top 10 programs of 2016-2017 sometime soon. But first I gotta get your requests done lmao sorry for the delay /o\ 

But since it’s (almost) the end of this season I want to thank you all for following me, sending me nice messages and being interested in my childish ramblings. You’re the bestest. 

[mandakatt]

1-100. You did ask for asks honhonhon

*blinks slowly* Feck. You’re serious, aren’t you....

Ok, Ok ok, One: I did not think someone would take me LITERALLY in my tags. XD  Two: Whew. This took a bit. =P But I aim to please!

Imma put all these under a cut, cause.. holy ballz. XD 

Nosy asks 1-100 [*flexes fingers*]

1. Last kiss: Kissed the boy goodbye before flying home couple months ago.

2. Last phone: call Answered here! =D

3. Last text message:   Answered here! =D

4. Last song you listened to:   Answered here! =D

5. Last time you cried: Few days ago to be perfectly honest. Sometimes just a good cry is cleansing.

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice: Yes, in Highschool I did. *shrug* Didn’t work the second time either. =p 

7. Been cheated on: .....yes.

8. Self harmed: Not in the physical sense - but I have done it where I’ve just stopped taking care of myself.

9. Lost someone special: Yes. Couple times.

10. Been depressed: Regularly.

11. Been drunk and threw up: Twice - the second time I forced myself cause, good lord is the room spinning a bad feeling.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: 

12. had sex:  ..... With myself, sure.

13. How many people have you had sex with this year?: ...One. Meaning. Me. XD

15. Made a new friend: Yes! Hi! @xcaroldanversx​ =3

17. Laughed until you cried: Once! Comedy shows are amazing for that. 

18. Met someone who changed you: Yes, New outlooks are always awesome.

19. Found out who your true friends were: Feck, this happens yearly. Sometimes, you have to purge what you thought was good, but it’s toxic instead.

20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yep. In both good and bad ways.

26. What did you do for your last Birthday:   Answered here! =D

27. What time did you wake up today: about 3 am, then fully at 7. 

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for:   Answered here! =D

30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time: I am an only child. A spoiled brat. PFFF! 

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: That I would have done a few things different when I was younger to learn how to manage money better than I have.

32. What are you listening to right now: Stone Sour - Bother

33. When is the last time you had sex?: .....*blinks* .....*thinks* .... Hmm. Feck. Some 8 years ago?

34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: Co-worker that keeps looking down on someone in my office that is on FMLA [Family Medical Leave] I give him the mom stare ™ every time he does it, and tell him how dare he judge someone like that.

35. Most visited webpage: Tumbr ... ugh. XD

36. Favorite colour: Greens and Oranges. 

37. Nicknames: Manda, Katt, Mao, Dude - are the prominent ones I get called. But you could call me anything you wanted really, and I’d probably answer. XD

38. Relationship Status: Not Single

39. Zodiac sign: Cancer

40. Male or female: Female

41. Primary school: Wyoming Elementary

42. Secondary School: Southwest Junior High

43. High school/college: Forest Lake Senior High - No college.

44. Eye color:   Answered here! =D

46. Height: SHORT AF. *huff* 5 foot 2 inches.

47. Do you have a crush on someone: .... do fictional men and women count?

48. What do you like about yourself: My smile I suppose

49. Piercings:  Just the earlobes

50. Tattoos: Winged lion on the back of my left shoulder

51. Righty or lefty: Righty!

FIRSTS:

53. First piercing:   Answered here! =D

54. First best friend: A girl that I had met in Elementary.

55. First hookup: ...good lord I’m too old to remember. o_O

56. First Best friend: ... Hey! REPEAT QUESTION!

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating: Snyders Cheddar Pretzel bites. 

60. Drinking: Grape Kickstart - I need to lay off these things!

61. I'm about to: Continue working, and taking calls.. ughh

62. Listening to: The current playlist I use for writing, cause I’m trying so hard to finish up a few things between phone calls at work.

63. Waiting for:   Answered here! =D

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids?: Now that I’m older, part of me does, but it’s still an 70% no.

65. Get married?: Would be nice. [Will I marry the current boyfriend? No.]

66. Career: Currently in IT, probably will stay there.

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.

68. Hugs or kisses: BOTH!

69. Shorter or taller: Answered here! =D

70. Older or Younger: Than me? Doesn’t matter. Age is a frame of mind, and I plan on being that weird 90 year old lady that gives out really nummy cookies to everyone.

71. Romantic or spontaneous: Both - Depends on the situation to be honest! [Mostly Romantic cause I’m hopeless XD]

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice arms. Cause plushy tummies are awesome too!

73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship!

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger:   Answered here! =D

77. Drank hard liquor: ...does Daily count?

78. Lost glasses/contacts: Yep, to both to be honest. XD

79. Had sex: Once upon a time... XD

80. Broken someone's heart: Yeah, pretty sure I did.

82. Been arrested: Yes. >_>

83. Turned someone down: Yes. 

84. Cried when someone died: Yes. 

85. Fallen for a friend: YEP!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: Sometimes, not all the time. But this, makes me human.

87. Miracles:   Answered here! =D

88. Love at first sight: Yes. 

89. Heaven: Kinda.

90. Santa Clause: Hell yes. 

91. Kiss on the first date: Yes.

92. Angels: Kinda

93. How would you label yourself?: WEIRDO!

94. Someone You Pray Everyday For: I don’t really ‘pray’ per se, but I will send all the positive energies and thoughts to a bunch of people daily.

95. Did you sing today: Yes. Couple times already XD I suck at it though! 

96. Who From All Your Ex's have You Cared The Most About: The one I was in a bad relationship with. That.... was such a mind fuck. =/ 

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: to my Teens. To hopefully do things differently a little.

98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For: For people that need assistance in the country I live in, to be able to get it without worrying about what kind of bill they’re going to get in the mail later.

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Not at all.

100. Do you like the way you look?: ......yes and no. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.