#many things can cause the same result and many causes can combine to have one result

[shmreduplication]

I should've expected this.... I've seen those posts about creator payments for streaming after a certain period of time but like that literally can't be the only reason especially because a lot of the big shows have a high rewatchability. There's never one answer to anything, especially because so much of business is based on pseudoscience. If they spend a lot on advertising then they're going to care more about early watches to justify the advertising budget, views after the ad campaign ends can't be used to justify buying more commercials. But word of mouth is the most critical factor in getting people to watch stuff, which is unbuyable because if you buy it then de facto that's an ad

Also it was a hypothetical question, the real point of the post was to complain about how the customer-company part of the company (the part I care about as a customer) is being negatively impacted by the company-company part of the company. The story I'm being sold is that I can watch whenever I want with no pressure, and the story being sold to other companies that Netflix works with is that their shows get lots of viewers immediately when a show is released

Just because you read one reason why something happens doesn't mean it's the only reason

[bouquetface]

Future Spouse Based on Nakshatra - Pt. One

Please read the following for accuracy:

Check for which nakshatra of your dakarkaka.

You may want to check the nakshatra of your Venus (for wife) and Jupiter (for husband) as well.

You may want to read for your moon & AatmaKaaraka nakshatra to see if the traits apply to you.

DISCLAIMER: Keep in mind accuracy is influenced by the ENTIRE natal chart.

SHRAVANA:

General Neutral traits:

Often tall & lean. Ofc not always.

Talkative. Often witty/clever & educated.

Wealthy - Can come from a family that has a known name within their community. Or they will build wealth and become known in their community.

Drawn to social & humanitarian causes. They can help change lives - in small ways or big. EX: Provide jobs, Provide help of some sort to people who need it.

Modest person - may express this as being mostly uninterested in materialistic things.

Quick learner. Good listeners Good teachers & counsellors.

Often marry partners who are helpful to them. Spouses can be open minded. Married life is generally said to be good.

Negative traits:

Open minded views BUT stubborn to change views once decided on.

Gossip often. Jealous people. This creates many enemies/haters. This will be a problem as they often care A LOT about their reputation. However, it is only a problem IF people find out. Often, they are generally well liked & well spoken upon meeting.

ASHLESHA:

General Neutral traits:

Responsible. Independent. Protective. Likely due to being the eldest sibling.

Analytical & Clever.

Good communication skills - writing or speaking.

Good humour. Entertaining personality. As a result a popular personality.

Leadership qualities. Likely to work their way up in their industry or company.

Adaptable & philosophical side to them.

Not conventionally attractive. Considered “lucky” as they often find a spouse who is more attractive than them.

Negative traits:

Intelligence can be used to manipulate.

Secretive. Keep true feelings to themselves.

Prone to depression, anxiety, and overall negative feelings. May be due to keeping a lot to themselves. Can feel burdened with too much responsibility.

VISHAKHA:

General Neutral traits:

Round face. Often Attractive. Cute & soft appearance. Simple modest style.

Attracts jealously - sometimes from family members of the same sex. EX: younger sister loves you but dislikes being in your shadow. Mother loves you but criticizes your life choices - career or romantic partner or other things.

Good communicators. Persuasive. May enjoy reading/writing poetry.

Success comes at their own efforts. If they desire it AND work for it, they can succeed in academics & career.

Leadership qualities combined with their communication makes it likely they have leadership roles in career - EX: Managing, teaching, someone to be respected/looked up to by newcomers in the field.

Negative traits:

Controlling. Prone to jealously. This can lead to difficult romantic relationships in their younger years.

Others may judge this person on their appearance. People will try to tear them down. Often, they have strong comebacks.

Others may try to take advantage of this person’s good nature. While they appear sweet & polite, they aren’t naive or stupid. They will catch on to people who are untruthful or fake.

SHATABHISHA:

General neutral traits:

Large forehead, attractive eyes. Prominent butt.

Honest - sometimes harsh. The type of person who may unintentionally hurt your feelings. Speak before thinking.

Good memory. Analytical. Likes to dig deeper - get to the root of the problem. This may make them good in fields of research like sciences.

Better writers than they are talkers. Clever people.

Able to defend themselves. & often it is said they will defeat their haters & conquer despite obstacles.

Likely to enjoy thinking type games - EX: Wordle, crosswords, puzzles, chess, checkers, etc.

Negative traits:

Argumentative. Fights with family. Likely misunderstood by the family. Results in anger for the family.

Being misunderstood makes them uncommunicative. Will struggle with periods of loneliness in life.

Wish to hide any signs of weakness. May appear emotionless/lacking compassion - however, they are compassionate, they just don’t like showing it.

Stubborn.

Feel restricted. Experience periods of deep isolation.

JYESTHA:

General Neutral traits:

Curly hair. Sharp features. Above average height. Muscular body. Generally, attractive. Eventually, become physically active.

Generally small social circle - few true close friends.

Gain wealth later in life. Often the most successful in their family.

Independent. Doesn’t like to rely on others. Good organizer.

Generally humble, chill/down to earth.

Negative traits:

Bad childhoods. Struggles in early life. Anger towards family. Ego is a problem with these people. Unlikely to fully resolve a conflict - will hold secret resentment.

Manipulative tendencies - Secretive about true feelings/intentions.

ROHINI:

General Neutral traits:

Often attractive. Broad shoulders. Lean body type.

Polite & Charismatic. Good listener. Helpful. Builds good karma. Often popular & social.

Generally truthful but will lie to appear nice.

Responsible. Strong devotion towards their family. Will go out of their way to help family and other loved ones.

Often has a good education. Good career. Financially does well.

Good moral compass. Strong sense of purpose - this can manifest as being career orientated.

Negative traits:

Can be quick to anger. Can seek revenge. Difficulty forgiving. Difficulty holding oneself accountable.

Indulgent side shown after marriage - EX: they may end up indulging too much in foods that are bad for their health. They may overspend/become overly materialistic.

MRIGASHIRA:

General Neutral traits:

Long faces. Large bodies - may be bulky or physically tall.

Friendly. Good social life - often well-liked/popular.

Intelligent. Curious, open to learning new things. Witty person. Flirty.

Good communicators. Good debaters. Enjoy learning more/exploring more.

Action orientated people. Hardworking people. Leadership roles in career.

Negative traits:

Short attention span. Many interests. Do not realize when they are being friendly or being flirty - may upset their marriage partner.

Experience bad relationships -could become suspicious of their partners.

Secretly desire being the center of attention. Insecure. Need for validation.

PURVA BHADRAPADA:

General Neutral traits:

Often tall. Expressive eyes. Often smiling. Can appear mischievous.

Unique people - unconventional behaviours &/or interests.

Logical. Witty. Success in academics is likely.

Self-reliant. Good communicators. Likely to obtain good to moderate wealth.

Imaginative. Future orientated. Dislikes injustice.

Negative traits:

Eccentric behaviour can make them unpredictable. Not the best person to depend on.

Not the most generous. Understanding to other’s issues but at the end of the day, they’re looking out for their own desires.

Later in life, must be cautious of financial or marriage problems. These problems are often a result of immature behaviours. They can be resolved if correct steps are taken.

UTTARA PHALGUNI:

Mix of sharp and soft features. Narrow, sharp eyes. Soft cheeks & face. Sharp jawline. Smaller forehead.

Friendly. Well liked. Benefits from connections. Mostly will experience a comfortable life.

Artistic interests. Ambitious. Like to create.

Compassionate. Generous. Reliable. Dependable. These traits make them popular. Their connections help them gain comfort & wealth.

Open minded to an extent. Certain beliefs are unchangeable with these individuals.

Negative traits:

Receive a lot of help and luck - they may not acknowledge this/be ungrateful. EX: Claiming to be self made when it is not true.

Can have a “my way or no way” mindset at times. Some will view them as arrogant and bossy/demanding.

REVATI:

General Neutral traits:

Moderately tall. Good complexion. Heart-shaped/pouty lip. Stick out in a crowd due to appearance.

Good hygiene. Sociable. Well-liked by most. This can help them advance in career.

May have a wealthy or well connected family. This can help them in career or education. EX: Parents will pay tuition or for transportation.

Lover of animals. Nurturing personality - however, often have children later in life or not at all.

Creative. Artistic interests or skill like drawing/painting as a hobby.

Negative traits:

Vicious when hurt. Can become angry when they feel their compassion & generosity is not being reciprocated.

Karmic relationship with people in the family.

Struggle with insecurities. Results in self doubt & low self esteem.

[michi-katsu]

~Kokushibo: Having sex headcanons.

Pairing: Kokushibo x Fem!reader.

Genre: Smut.

Word count: 768.

From fingering you so hard without any effort, making you faint and cum several times from that pleasant pain and painful pleasure his large fingers cause right deep into your spot.

To long, slow, gentle, passionate love making sessions where he cherishes you, it being loving and painful at the same time.

He wants to please you well, due to his demon strength, height and size, he knows he can easily make you feel a deep and penetrating pain, but, knowing you love this, it absolutely drives him wild.

Loves to have you sitting on him, moving you up and down his length with even just one hand, playing with how deep he gets inside of you.

He loves to watch you in silence, closely admiring your faces of pain and pleasure, occasionally whispering things into your ear, turning you on even more, demanding you as his while you're a trembling mess.

"Enjoying this, my love? Daddy knows you do".

"Want to feel me deeper, princess? Should I get completely inside of you, just like this?"

"Does it hurt? Yes? Still, you don't want me to stop? Good baby girl".

"Daddy's doing as you please, sweetheart".

Your moans, gasps and pleads, your voice broken by the combination of pain and pleasure he's causing you are the sweetests melody to his ears.

Loves the spoon position, since it allows him to play with an even deeper and more painful penetration, his large hand occasionally turning your face towards him to lovingly kiss your lips.

Actually loves every position where he can have your face close to his.

Will moan and exhale in pleasure as he watches his member pounding in and out of you, absolutely loves the sight.

His gesture stands serious and imperturbable, yet his eyes stare at you with extreme desire and lust most of the time.

Absolutely loves how you're unable to talk when he gets a little rough.

He really enjoys being in control of the situation, although, you trying to get the lead would just turn him on so much that he would roughly fuck you.

"You asked Daddy for this, huh? Should I fuck you harder now?"

Lowly moans and growls when your nails scratch his back, when you bury your fist into his hair or hold on to his arms tightly as a result of his deep, hard thrusts.

His grip on your skin will leave bruises, marks and scratches, loves giving you a few (more like a lot) hickeys as well.

Trust me, he knows the consequences of using all his strength, therefore, he tries to restrain himself, since he knows the damage he can cause you, he has fallen deeply in love with you and definitely does not want to lose you.

Be it slow, passionate sex or rough and hard, always expect a little pain after the act, most of the time you will end up with a little bleeding as if you were having your period, and lots of his own cum dripping down your inner thighs, of course.

Dizzy, upon noticing your blood, he goes wild to eat you out, he demands it, as an order to protect you from demons being attracted by the sweet aroma of your blood, but in reality he loves to taste you, not just your blood, your pussy is his favorite treat.

Loves to finish inside of you since his release feels so good deep inside your tight walls, also because this is one way to mark you as his.

Sometimes will release his cum inside you and without pulling out, will inmediately continue with the next round. For him, a single lovemaking session can last for hours, while you're laying exhausted and already came several times.

Kokushibo is the sweetest after sex, attentive and loving, loves when you act loving towards him too, he loves having you in his arms while he admires your beauty and the panting mess he has made of you, the bruises, hickeys and marks his mouth and hands have left on your body, he thinks you look cute and sexy, he feels proud to have you pleased (and overstimulated), proud of having so many of his traces on you, he will caress and kiss you romantically, constantly asking how you are, if you need anything and repeatedly telling you how beautiful you are, declaring you his at the same time.

If your response is to inmediately ask for the next round, he will just become so turned on that maybe your legs won't work for the next couple of days, be sure he won't let you go.

[dduane]

Rehoming Holmes

So here's the current interesting problem: You discover that you're in the process of writing a cozy mystery. And then you discover that the lead sleuth in this work is going to be Sherlock Holmes. (And of course Dr. John Watson is there too.)

The big question, therefore, becomes: when?? And secondarily, where?

(Inserting a break here, because this goes on a bit. Caution: contains World War I, railway lines, chronic illness, unrealistic attempts to be a hermit, and [what did you expect?] bees.)

Wedging the cozy mystery concept into Sherlock Holmes's schedule is inevitably going to be a dicey business. Because Holmes, in Canon—right up until after the events of "His Last Bow," in the collection of the same name—is a really busy man... too busy by far to be doing the cozy thing, be he ever so retired.

We don't know a whole lot about the details of that retirement except for what Watson tells us in the preface to the collection.

The friends of Mr. Sherlock Holmes will be glad to learn that he is still alive and well, though somewhat crippled by occasional attacks of rheumatism. He has, for many years, lived in a small farm upon the Downs five miles from Eastbourne, where his time is divided between philosophy and agriculture. During this period of rest he has refused the most princely offers to take up various cases, having determined that his retirement was a permanent one. The approach of the German war caused him, however, to lay his remarkable combination of intellectual and practical activity at the disposal of the Government, with historical results which are recounted in His Last Bow.

Now, when you start looking into some other details surrounding this retirement, there are some points that immediately start to be troublesome. ...Well, for me, anyway.

First of all: that picture up at the top is of the house to which he's supposed to have retired. Various Holmesians who've looked into the situation over the years seem to have settled on this spot, in East Dean in Sussex. And it has acquired a blue plaque stating that that's where Holmes wound up... which is all very well.

But for the purposes of my own storytelling, I've got concerns.

We know from various comments dropped by Watson in Canon that he and Holmes haven't seen each other for some years, and that Holmes has been living "the life of a hermit" on his farm with his bees.

What I'm not sure about is how you live like a hermit in a house which is (and then was) sited directly on the East Dean village green, with the village pub right across the green from you. It seems like a spot poorly chosen, and maybe chosen in haste. (And how big can that "farm" be, with the village around it? Honestly.)

There's another problem, though, that it astounds me never occurred to Arthur Conan Doyle when he initially chose to retire Holmes to that neck of the woods. The whole area near Eastbourne, sited as it is really close to the south coast of England, is (relatively speaking) an exposed and frequently chilly, damp area routinely exposed to coastal gales. Having just retired Holmes there, that Doyle could then in the next sentence describe Holmes as suffering more or less chronically from rheumatoid arthritis gives me all kinds of trouble. Because I sure know what my arthritis does to me in cold damp weather! And the first thought I had on reading that line in the wake of wanting to tell a story realistically based further along in Holmes's retirement period was "Wow, I need to get him the hell out of there."

Yet here, as has happened at other happy writing moments, I find that a kindly Universe has put what I need right into my hands. Because I invite you to take a closer look at that blue plaque on the house in East Dean.

Some Holmesian who was a stickler for accuracy (or tight adherence to Canon) refused to date this retirement any further along than 1917, the date of "His Last Vow." The story itself implies that Holmes and Watson—now reunited in (covert) government service—have much more to do after '17. And then, after 1918, when WWI ends... then what?

Well, soon enough Holmes goes back into official retirement. But he does it somewhere else... because Watson's with him again.

First of all, the location changes because that little house above might have been all right for one "hermit". For two men, though? They'll need a bit more room... and maybe also a little more privacy.* ...It should be noted here in passing that as of LAST, Watson appears to have mislaid the wife mentioned in BLAN ("The Blanched Soldier"). Is it his first wife or his second...if there was a second? Who the hell even knows, at this point? (The jury's apparently still out on the subject, and some investigators suggest there might have been as many as six wives. ...But I digress.)

Anyway, the ensuing scene between Holmes and Watson, as Holmes's Doctor explains to him how things are going to be from now on since they're together again, is so easy to imagine that I'm not sure I need to do anything about it in the cozy mystery proper but allude to it in passing. The laying down of the law. The inevitable "I don't need to be coddled" bullshit. The suggestion that Holmes, for a comfortable retirement, needs a house that's sited in better-protected countryside.

Also, due to the inevitable fallout from Holmes's wartime exploits, they're going to need a house that's sited closer to a decent rail connection to London, with a telegraph office just a mile or two away if Holmes needs it... or if a client needs to come see him. (And there also needs to be a handy telephone exchange, annoying though it'll be that Lestrade's or Dimmock's successors can just ring him up and whinge at him.) Holmes will also need a place where he can at least get a decent wireless signal so he can listen to the concerts from the Continent, and closer. (Because if I wind up positioning the cozy in 1922, as seems likely, this newfangled thing called the BBC has just come online: and canonically speaking, Holmes has always been an early adopter.)

Most importantly, though—so Watson will claim—Holmes needs a rural home that will be better for the bees. The Eastbourne area isn't really great for them, being too exposed and right on the borderline of where bees can locally thrive. Fifteen or twenty miles north or so would be far better, putting less stress on the bees and therefore being less likely to skew Holmes's observational results. With this outcome particularly in mind, the two housemates-to-be can look around for a house sheltered by the Downs' low hills, with nearby fields of arable crops—very likely hops—where the bees can do their work untroubled by excessive salt air. And Holmes can tend to and study his charges in more clement conditions that won't periodically leave him immobile and in anguish due to a less forgiving climate's exacerbation of his arthritis.

Will Holmes buy into this hilariously misdirected argument without realizing (or admitting that he's realized) what Watson's trying to pull? Who can say. Holmes, as per usual, is going to put up every kind of resistance he can to avoid revealing that this outcome is absolutely what he wants more than anything. Watson, of course, will receive Holmes's fake-cranky temporizing with his usual patience... and start writing to estate agents in villages convenient to the main north-south rail line. And on the day Holmes cracks and formally agrees, Watson will telegraph the most likely agent and set up a viewing for a week or so later... of a house something like this.

The frontmost part with the peaked roof is an oast house—a structure originally built for drying hops. They're scattered all around the Surrey countryside, many having been converted over the decades into parts of homes. This one stands in the middle of a small farm where Holmes can rent out the farm's surrounding grazing to other local farmers, while attending to the only part of the farm that really interests him: the hives. And the upstairs windows, in good weather, give onto a view through the surrounding rolling countryside, downhill toward the distant haze-veiled blue of the Channel.

So now I've finally nailed down what was missing before I could really start work: a decent spot where a "a tall, gaunt man of sixty" (well, sixty-five, at this point) and his shorter, slightly stockier chronicler can settle in and get comfortable, and take on the occasional cozy case on which the fate of the free world doesn't depend. ...Insert here the sound of a writer sighing with relief.

And now back to plotting.

*But there could be all kinds of reasons for that. :)

[colleybri]

One of the greatest hugs in any film

Interview question: “Do you think Cassian and Jyn would have managed to connect even more due to their shared life experiences if they had even more time?”

Diego Luna: “Obviously! What a good question. I think that hug represents everything that could have been but was not and everything that was too, because that hug meant they were part of something together and I believe that union lasts forever”.

One of the single best story decisions that was made in Rogue One was this incredible hug between Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor, as they await death from the blast of the Death Star.

It’s sad enough just in the context of the film. After Season 1 of Andor, it’s even more moving. I think some of us will be emotional wrecks after Season 2. 

One thing I’m starting to realise only now is how Jyn’s story, as revealed in the film (and the novelisation), reflects Cassian’s so much. She was also a child of war, displaced and effectively orphaned, adopted before being forced to embark on a new life. She had it even worse than him, in many ways. But just like him she had an early zeal to fight, which she similarly went on to lose because of the bitter pain that commitment caused. She becomes disillusioned and cynical about the Rebellion. It takes a combination of hard knocks and a resulting realisation of the desperate NEED to fight the Empire - in order to preserve all that they hold dear - to radicalise both of them to the extent that they are willing to sacrifice their lives for the cause.

Cassian is already in that place - he reached it five years before. But in Season 2 I expect we will see further challenges, see the desperately awful things he might have to do and what else he will need to sacrifice ahead of his actual life. Sacrifices that wear down his soul, bit by bit. Luthen’s monologue hangs over everything. “ I burn my life for a sunrise I know I’ll never see.” It’s a bitter irony that Cassian is frequently placed in sun-rising imagery, culminating in the ‘sun’ of the explosion.

Jyn, in Rogue One, seems to be the spiritual shot in the arm that Cassian needs. In the same way that being inspired by his love for Clem, Maarva and Bix helps to spur him on in the Season 1 finale (when the chances of successfully rescuing Bix must seem non-existent)  Jyn seems to me to be the crucial reminder for Cassian of why he is doing all this in the first place. Her love for her father stops him from obeying the order to kill him. He just can’t do it. He can’t put someone he is growing to care about through the same agony he went through himself.

In the end, neither can live with themselves if they don’t fight. But both of them are fighting for the right reason: love.

The hug is platonic and therefore perfect because it’s universal, in a way: we can imagine - in their final seconds - that they can both see and feel the warmth and the arms of every single person in their lives who they ever loved in any form: parents, siblings, lovers, friends. And of course they also die feeling the arms of each other - bound together by their fight and sacrifice but also an embrace with someone they might have gone on to know, and to love, if the universe had been a kinder place. 

It’s one of the most perfect and beautiful death scenes in any film I’ve seen. 

But it’s also heart-crushingly sad. 

‘What could have been’. 

…..

Edit:

I think the earlier elevator scene is where they acknowledge the loss of what they could have had together. Cassian stares at Jyn with unblinking focus but he looks like he’s dying already from his injuries, and Jyn - not yet knowing for sure that she’s about to die too - looks completely devastated. By the time they reach the beach and see the blast approaching both of them look accepting of their fate… and I imagine that they can use their final moments to internally say their spiritual goodbyes to everyone they ever loved in their lives - and to each other. They are content to die together. They are at peace as they “become one with the Force”.

….

The sand is coarse on his fingers as he tightens the embrace and closes his eyes. Her face had been that of the last being he will see, and he is at peace with that. After all, she had already started to mend his broken soul and remind him of why he was doing all this in the first place. 

Love.

She is warm against him, her grip intensifying his physical pain, and intensifying whatever is going on now in his soul. They hug as if in the hope of keeping each other whole, the hope of somehow stopping the inevitable coming-apart. Almost as if to stop time and be forever in this state of in-between.

But there is no time at all. 

So he thinks he will imagine that the light is coming from her, her bright spirit - her hot molten core - soldering and melting them into one being. 

‘I don’t know where you end or where it is that I begin.’

Extract above from  ‘Dawn Chorus’ chapter 5:

Diego Luna interview:

’ I don’t know where you end or where it is that I begin’ - from the song ‘Vision’ by Peter Hammill.

[shittinggold]

Black Sails at its core is a tragedy, in that we know how the story will end. This is the nature of its existence as a prequel - we know the fates of many characters, as well as the fate of Nassau and the wider world because Treasure Island exists. We know Billy must end up on that beach, we know Flint must be long gone, we know John Silver must become Long, and we know the revolution fails. The events of the story are dictated by its ending, which we are told before the story starts.

And at the same time, because it is a historical show that uses real world elements and real people, it is also constrained by the bind of history. We know the pirate rebellion does not succeed; we know that slaves do not overthrow the British Empire in 1718. This is what's so brilliant about the way the show's cast is constructed. By using a combination of historical and fictional priates, the show locks itself into being a tragedy on multiple levels. The story of Treasure Island and the story of history both contain it.

Yet even within that, the hope it inspires is so real and powerful that it makes us believe that it can end some other way. We hear Flint or Madi talk about a world after England, and it is such a beautiful thought that we believe it might actually happen, despite knowing that that it can't.

Which is what's so brilliant about the climax, with Flint and Silver in the woods. Flint is raging, rattling the bars of narrative and history both, adamant that the world he envisions can be real. While Silver, the storyteller, knows the truth - that there is only one way the story ends, and the revolution's failure is inevitable.

...Or is it? Certainly, it doesn't succeed, but was it inevitable? So many characters talk about inevitability, but one of my favourite scenes is between Jack and Max in 4x07, where Max claims that war against civilisation is inherently doomed nd history proves that, and Jack points out that it's that belief that caused her to side against the pirates and cause the war's doom. The thing is that they're both right. History is fact, and also written in part because of what people believe will be written.

So the story ends with so many questions, and invites us to write the rest. We thought Flint's fate, drinking himself to death in Savannah, was sealed by Treasure Island, but now we have been told a new story. He instead finds his lost love and lives happily ever afer. Except, no, that itself was a story, and he's actually buried in the forest by Silver. The story's ending depends on the teller, and we are pushed into the role of teller.

And because of how the show is structured - fiction and history interwoven - we must consider how this fuidity in truth applies to history. We assume we know the story of history because we are at its end. It seems so inevitable in retrospect. Yet it never was, and isn't now, as it is being written. Maybe we know that Jack Rackham is arrested and killed soon after the series ends, because that's what happened in real life, but maybe we're wrong. Maybe there's something else. A story is true, a story is untrue.

Everything is built to make the awful ending an absolute certainty, locked tight in the dual cages of fiction and fact. But there is enough ambiguity and hope within to make us justifiably believe that it can end another way. Silver and Flint are both right. The ending was both inevitable and a direct result of the choices people made. It was always going to end this way. It didn't have to end this way.

[mandos-mind-trick]

The Wolf Pup

Summary: It’s no secret within the 104th that the stern Commander is soft for the Pack’s so-called Wolf Pup. After a close call on a combined mission with the 501st, Wolffe takes it upon himself to remind her they'll always be there for her, no matter what.

Pairing: Wolffe & Padawan!OC (entirely platonic)

Warnings: Substantial injuries, violence, blood, panic attacks, fluff, soft!Wolffe, whump cause I like torturing my characters.

A/N: So this was originally going to be part of a whump series that I was going to write and never got around to. I was actually going to post something else with these characters but then I was like...wait. Y'all have no clue who Lexa is so I'm posting this one first.

Some background:

Lexa is Plo Koon's padawan. She's a Twi'lek, around 16 years old when this happens in the timeline. She's a year or two older than Ahsoka, and of course they're like BFFs naturally. Lexa is a shortened version of her name cause she has a traditional Twi'leki name that's very hard for non-native speakers to pronounce so she goes by Lexa. She has light purple skin (Cause I can) with darker purple spots (like think Kit Fisto's spots in the CW show but all over her body) and our girl is tall. Like she almost be looking the clones in the eyes. (I swear I'm going to learn how to draw eventually so I can properly portray my OCs.)

MASTERLIST

Her body aches. 

It’s the first thing she notices when she wakes. 

She feels like she’s been hit by a speeder. Her head is throbbing, something trickling down the side of her face. Her arm is throbbing, a deep painful throb that only means one thing. It’s likely broken. She opens her eyes, fear beginning to well inside her. 

She can’t see. 

She presses her hand to her face, not feeling anything covering it. She still can’t see anything. She reaches for her hip, feeling along her side until she hits her belt. She trails her fingers along it until she hits metal. She breaths a short sigh of relief, wrapping her hand around her lightsaber. She ignites it, glad to see its familiar green glow in the light of the cave. 

It is a cave she’s in. She can’t see anything but darkness above her. No sign of daylight. The only other explanation could be that it’s nighttime, but she doesn’t think she’s been unconscious that long. 

It had been morning when they’d attacked. 

They were trying to prevent a droid battalion from setting up a base on this remote planet. If they got their communication tower online, it would cut off one half the Republic Army from the other. 

Master Plo and Master Skywalker had taken half the army one way, and she and Ahsoka had led the other half the other way. Things had looked like they were going well, until something had caused the ground to shake and it had opened practically under her and Ahsoka’s feet. 

Ahsoka. 

She pushes herself to stand, breathing through the pain. She does a quick scan with the force, feeling every bruise, nick, and cut. Her left arm is broken, likely from her landing. She disengages her lightsaber, engaging the com in her vambrace. 

“Master Plo?” Her voice is weak and shaky, her heart thrumming in her chest. 

Nothing but static. 

She tries again, getting the same result. 

Had their mission failed and the droids powered up the communication tower? Or had the fall damaged her comm? It was possible, as she had landed on her left side. 

Ahsoka was her only hope, that her comm was still working. 

“Ahsoka?” She calls into the darkness, hearing nothing but her own voice echoing. 

She reaches out with the force, feeling for Ahsoka as she shines her lightsaber along the ground. She shouldn’t be too far. They were close enough they both were swallowed up by the crack in the ground. 

She feels something, a weak pulse in the force a few feet ahead of her. She moves carefully, not wanting to trip over any rocks. That must be why she hurts. The ground is very uneven with many large rocks sticking out. 

The air leaves her lungs when she finds Ahsoka. 

She’s fallen on a small pile of rocks, her body bent over the beak. She’s still, having been knocked unconscious in the fall. For a moment Lexa thinks she’s dead, but she can feel the weak force signature still. She can heal her. Lexa was always good at using the Force to heal. 

First, she needs to get her down though. 

Lexa’s left arm is throbbing painfully. She’d need to fix that before she can help Ahsoka. She focuses the force, knitting the bone back together. She nearly passes out when she’s done, both from the pain and the exertion. She forces herself onward, though, knowing she needs to help Ahsoka. 

She uses the force, carefully lifting her body from the rocks, lowering her down to the small divot where she’s standing. She kneels next to Ahsoka, looking over her with the light of her saber. She doesn’t look hurt, but she knows she could be fatally wounded internally. 

She grabs Ahsoka’s comm, calling out to her master once more. 

Again, nothing but static. 

“Master Skywalker?” She tries, getting nothing but static again. “Wolffe?” She whimpers, panic beginning to settle in as realization dawns on her. “Captain Rex?” 

Nothing but static. 

Tears run down her cheeks as she begins to panic. She tugs at her lekku, a nervous habit she had yet to break. They’re entirely alone in this huge cavern with no discernable way out, and no way of contacting anyone. They at least knew they were missing above. Someone had to see them fall. This cave system could be huge. How were they going to find them? 

She’s hyperventilating, losing herself to her panic as she shines her lightsaber in both directions. The light disappears into darkness both ways. Which way would she even go? She can’t carry Ahsoka. 

She curses, slamming her fist against one of the rocks. 

She needs to get a hold of herself. 

First she needs to check Ahsoka, and try to heal as much as she can. Then she can worry about trying to find a way out. She’s not going to let Ahsoka die. Ahsoka is like a sister to her, and she’s not going to let anything happen to her. She had promised Master Plo. 

Lexa closes her eyes, taking deep breaths. She centers herself in the force, pushing down the fear and the panic threatening to take over. She can do this. She can be stronger than her fear. 

She puts a hand on Ahsoka’s stomach, focusing the force through her. She holds on as long as she can, healing as much as she can. 

She nearly blacks out, her body falling limp from exhaustion. There’s a headache thumping in her forehead, slowly getting stronger. She’s overdone it, but at least Ahsoka won’t die from her injuries. 

She wraps an arm around the young Togruta, pulling her close. She needs a nap. Just a short one. Maybe she’d wake up and they’d be rescued already. 

**

She wakes in the cave. It’s cold, her body already shivering. She curses, scooting closer to Ahsoka. She wraps her arms around the Togruta, holding her close to try and share any warmth they have left. She reaches for the comm, calling out again but once more, there’s nothing but static. 

She grabs her lightsaber, igniting it. The ground glitters with frost, her breath visible in the darkness, and so is Ahsoka’s. She’s shivering as well. It’s cold. Very cold. It must be night now, or at least close to it. She doesn’t want to think about it getting colder. Neither of them will make it. 

Lexa closes her eyes, reaching out in the force, trying to feel anything that might be close. She doesn’t get far, already feeling the exhaustion pulling at her once more. She can’t exhaust herself completely. Ahsoka needs her, and she couldn’t possibly get them out of here if she’s too exhausted to move. 

Lexa forces herself awake, trying to keep them from freezing to death, too. 

It’s a long and miserable night. 

Lexa is starting to feel the effects of her hunger and thirst by morning. She hasn’t eaten in almost a full day, and she’s beginning to feel it. Expending her energy using the force isn’t helping either, but she has to keep healing Ahsoka. Even if it’s foolish, she refuses to let her die when there is a chance. 

She also continues trying to reach someone on the comms, but she has no luck. 

Until that luck changes. 

It’s a garbled signal, barely audible but she hears it. 

“Master Plo?” She asks, listening to the static. 

More broken voices. It’s not her master. Those are clone voices. 

“Wolffe?” She asks. “Anyone? Can you hear me?” 

It’s quiet for a few moments and she rises to her feet. Maybe if she moved somewhere else in the cave, she’d get a better signal. 

She uses her lightsaber as she walks, pausing every time she hears a sound other than static from the comm. 

“Ahsoka, come in.” 

Master Skywalker. She’s never been so happy to hear another voice, pressing the button on the comm to reply when something swoops down out of the sky, hitting her. The comm link drops from her hand, her body falling back against the rocks. 

She gasps as the air is knocked from her lungs, the attack taking her by surprise. She pushes herself to her feet, shining her lightsaber to try and see what it was. Something swoops at her again, but she ducks just barely getting grazed by it. Whatever it is, it’s very big. 

She’s panicking again. What if there’s more than one? What if they find Ahsoka? Why were they now just attacking? 

She doesn't see it until it’s right on her, talons sinking into her chest as she’s lifted off her feet. She just manages to hold onto her lightsaber as she’s lifted into the air. She can feel skin tearing as the creature holds onto her, blood soaking her robes. She swings her lightsaber at it, catching one of its wings. It hisses out a horrible scream and she readjusts, slicing its feet with her saber. 

It’s a good move, until she’s falling. 

She braces herself for impact once more, only to hit water. It’s shockingly cold, almost stealing the breath from her lungs. She pushes herself to the surface, choking in a breath. Something glides along the water and she ducks down, holding herself under as the creature passes overhead. She keeps herself under until her lungs scream, pushing herself to the top. 

She takes in a big gulp of air, looking around. There’s no sign of the creature. She hopes it’s not because it’s found Ahsoka. 

She drags herself out of the water. She’s shivering, the water icy cold. She’s not going to survive another night with wet clothes. 

She also doesn’t know where Ahsoka is. 

“Help!” She screams, uncaring if it draws the creature, or more of them to her. She’s desperate. She’s lost Ahsoka, she’s soaking wet, and she's going to freeze to death. They both were, if she doesn’t get help. 

She continues screaming until her voice is hoarse, walking around the cavern in the direction she thinks Ahsoka is. She finally finds her again, dropping to her knees on the rocks. This is it. She’s going to die. They both are. She’s failed Ahsoka, and she’s failed her master. 

There’s a loud sound from somewhere above, rocks falling from the roof, clattering on the ground. Bright light suddenly fills the cavern, Lexa holding her arm up at the painful intrusion. 

“Help!” She screams again, putting everything she can into it. She falls back, nearly crying as clone troopers begin dropping into the hole using jetpacks. “We did it.” She breathes, huddling next to Ahsoka. “We’re saved.”

She does begin crying as Wolffe runs up to her, falling to his knees next to her. 

“Wolffe.” She whimpers, squeezing her eyes closed as his fingers prod at the wounds on her chest.

“Easy, ad’ika.” He says, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s get you two out of here.” 

****

Lexa can’t sleep. She’d been freed from the med bay a few hours ago. Ahsoka was alright, making a full recovery thanks to her. Master Skywalker had already expressed his gratitude for what Lexa had done. Master Plo was proud of her and her bravery, even if she didn’t quite feel like she deserved it. 

She wanders the halls, something she does when she can’t sleep. She’d tried meditating already, but her mind is loud with memories of the last couple days. She holds the ends of her lekku in her hands as she walks, tugging on them absentmindedly. It’s a bad habit, it really is, but she’s never been able to break it. 

She nearly walks into a body, a hand reaching out to steady her. She blinks up at Wolffe, meeting the Commander’s naturally stern stare. It softens just a bit as he looks at her, his hand falling from her shoulder. “Sorry, Wolffe.” She says, dropping her hands from her lekku. 

“Careful, ad’ika.” He says. “You just got out of the med bay. Hate to see you have to go back.” 

She makes a face, scrunching her nose. “I hate that place. It smells bad.” 

A small smile tugs at the corners of Wolffe’s mouth. “What are you doing up so late?” 

“Just walking.” She answers simply. 

“Just walking.” He repeats, raising his eyebrows. He’s known her long enough to know when she’s hiding something. She’s good at hiding her emotions from her voice and her words, but her body language gave everything away if you knew what to look for. The subtle shake of her lekku, the little frown pinched between her brows, the tenseness in her shoulders, the way her hands can’t stay still. Wolffe can read her like a holonovel. 

“Well, it’s been a long couple days...” She shrugs, avoiding his gaze. Another sign something’s up. “Lots to think about.” 

“It has been a long couple days.” He says. “You should be resting.”

“Easier said than done.” She murmurs. 

“Come on.” He puts a hand on her back, starting to walk her back towards the barracks. 

It’s no secret within the 104th that the stern Commander is soft for the Pack’s so-called Wolf Pup. She’d wormed her way into their ranks and their hearts not long after the General allowed her to accompany them on missions. She already knew some of their names, and the others she learned quickly. She’s just as kind and caring as her master, and was not afraid to jump in to save one of them on the battlefield if she could. 

The boys loved their little pup as much as they loved their General. The absolute fear they’d felt when they’d been helpless to watch both her and Ahsoka disappear during the earthquake. Boost had been smart to mark the area as they marched on, forced to leave the two padawans behind. They had to get to the base before it could begin broadcasting, and that meant leaving the two padawans and hope they survived long enough for them to return. 

Wolffe had been terrified of what they might find when they finally broke through the thick crust of the planet. It was a long drop into the cave, and he’d thought the worst until he’d heard her screaming. It had broken his heart, how scared she looked, how much blood she had been covered in. Both padawans had lived, thanks to his little pup’s bravery and determination. 

He steers her towards his own barracks, her mind so distracted she doesn’t even notice until the door opens. He’s glad the others are still mostly dressed, not having thought that through very well. He nudges her inside, the others greeting her. Boost and Sinker squish her between them in a hug, their normal greeting for her outside of more formal instances. 

Her muffled voice sounds from between them and they release her, letting her take a deep breath in. The others greet her, despite having seen her only a couple hours ago upon her release from the med bay. 

“Boys,” Wolffe addresses them, setting his helmet on someone’s bed. “I think our ad’ika needs a cuddle pile.” 

They share looks before they all begin moving, grabbing blankets and pillows. Wolffe steers Lexa to the open space against the far wall, sitting down on the floor. He catches a pillow tossed at him, setting it in his lap before tugging her down. She rests her head against the pillow, the others arranging blankets and pillows around them. They all settle in, surrounding their pup with warmth and comfort. 

Wolffe gently massages the space between her lekku, her body practically melting into the floor. He’s not good with comforting words, not like the General, but he can offer her this kind of comfort. Remind her she’s not alone, that they would always be there for her. They would never leave her behind, no matter the odds. He can imagine the kind of fear she had felt, and he hates he couldn’t be there to protect her from it. 

All he can do now is remind her that it’s over, that she’s tucked in safely with her pack.

Taglist: (I know more of you have asked to be on my everything taglist but I was dumb and forgot to mark people so if I have forgotten you please let me know 🫣)

@bobaprint, @star-trekker-0013, @rosechi

[undead-moth]

I have just discovered the existence of Jamie Lopez, a body-positive activist, because at the age of 37 she has died of heart complications.

Here are some of the results you’ll find if you Google her death:

Unsurprisingly, fatphobes are taking the tragic death of a young woman as an opportunity to shame fat people and spread hate. They lack both empathy and compassion for her. They find her death vindicating, and even comedic. She is not even a human being to them. 

But most importantly, they are using it as an opportunity to insist, as many fatphobes do, that this is the inevitable future all fat people face. They are once again arguing that all fat people are unhealthy and all fat people will die young because of this. In doing so, they are also accusing the fat acceptance movement of claiming that all fat people are healthy and all fat people will live long lives.

This completely ignores a few things:

1) If Jamie Lopez had been thin and died of the same health complications at the same age - which is the case for some thin people (remember, there is not a single health condition that exclusively fat people get or die of) - this would not therefore be indicative that their weight caused their death. Everyone would agree that it was the heart complications, not the weight that killed that person. Heart complications have been “linked” to fatness but never indisputably proven to be caused by it, and so it does not make sense to say that her weight, rather than heart complications killed her. And if someone wants to argue that it’s still her weight that killed her, because her weight put her at risk for heart problems, remember that being tall, being old, and/or being a man are risk factors for heart complications yet when a tall person, old person, or a man dies from heart complications we don’t insist they actually died of being tall or being old or being a man.

2) Had Jamie Lopez lived to be 100 this would have never proven to fatphobes that you can be fat and healthy. This is evident when other fat people live long healthy lives, even really fat people who live really long lives, and no one ever holds them up as “proof” that it’s possible to be fat and healthy. Even if millions of fat people, even very fat people, live to be very old - which millions do - it means nothing to these people. Statistically, “morbidly obese” people and underweight thin people have the same mortality rates, and people in the overweight and obese categories actually live the longest, longer even than their “healthy weight” counterparts. This has never changed the minds of fatphobes. But one single fat person dying young confirms their preconceived bias that all fat people are unhealthy and die young.

3) Neither the fat acceptance movement nor HAES advocates claim that all fat people are healthy. In fact, HAES advocates only argue that it’s possible to be healthy or unhealthy at any size, meaning that it’s possible to be fat and healthy, just as it’s possible to be thin and unhealthy, or vice versa. They are not insisting on a black-and-white dichotomy that puts one group in Always Unhealthy or Always Healthy. That’s what fatphobes are doing. They’re the ones making blanket statements about the combined health of entire communities, placing one in “Always unhealthy” (fat people) and one in “Always healthy” (thin people).

And the fat acceptance movement is not even about health. Fat acceptance advocates for the acceptance of fat people REGARDLESS OF health, meaning that fat people have the right to baseline human respect even if every single one of them is horribly unhealthy. Yet Fatphobes continue to debate fat acceptance activists by attempting to prove that all fat people are unhealthy. This is because they think that this gives them the right to hate and ridicule fat people. That is why it is so important that fat people be unhealthy to them, and why they never acknowledge that fat acceptance isn’t about health anyway. They need their excuse.

But it isn’t an excuse. It doesn’t matter if every single fat person is fat because they eat too much and exercise too little. It doesn’t matter if every single one of them could lose weight and maintain that weight loss if they simply worked hard enough. And it doesn’t matter if every single fat person is unhealthy and going to die at the age of 37 of a heart attack.

Fat people are people and people deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. That is what fat acceptance is about.

Jamie Lopez died young which is already unfortunate. And now she will be mocked for who knows how long by people who despise her for, essentially, being imperfect in a way they personally don’t like. Whether it be because she was fat, or because she was unhealthy, that’s the reason people will use to justify the inhumane ridicule of a human being who never harmed them, never wronged them, never even spoke to them - and now, isn’t even alive to defend herself against them. 

I can’t describe the grief I feel for this person who, until a couple of hours ago, I didn’t even know existed, who was dead before I’d ever even heard her name.

I hope she rests in peace while the people who shame her rot in hell.

[shu-bullshit]

Chinese names are crazy cool cause you can put/combine any meanings or sounds you like, there are no rules or name lists or things like that and it's very unlikely to meet someone with your exact first name, there are also no clear lines between genders and there's a broad space to be neutral. I used to know someone whose name means like "writing the universe" and that's just one cool example.

However when written in English it's reduced to only sounds... So despite my name having very unique characters now I'm using "Maiyashu" for work instead, cause there are many people online have names that are pronounced same as mine (although all different characters) and I need Google search reach. But I'm hoping one day when my website raises up in the results more I'll reclaim my name.

[alexiavettel]

Fear is made of ice

there’s a thin layer of ice between love and hate

pairing: lance stroll x fem!reader (au) 

word count: 8.3k+

summary: Montreal is basically the hockey capital, but for you? An ice figure skater? That’s your city, not the hockey’s guys. That has been a thing for years and years, which is more important, cool and remarkable? Most of the time hockey is the people's favourite but not for you, who spend too many years of your childhood training to be the best. Let’s say that money was never a problem, your family is one of the richest in the country and you were fortunate to receive so much support from them. But there’s the thing, you grew up with the Stroll family, basically the same conditions, same picture-perfect family but you and Lance have never been eye to eye. A stupid rivalry that kept up to today’s days, an ice skater and a hockey player, what a cliché. But these were until your skiing accident, when everything seemed too real…

warnings: explicit language, frenemies to lovers, near-death experience, near-death description, no use of y/n, cheating ex, from Lukov with love reference, poor use of hockey slangs, Claire-Anne Stroll being a distant mother (pls i know she isn’t but it’s part of the plot), Montreal Canadiens is the best one here okay (leave them alone), childish rivalry (they love each other), bit of anger issues resulting in a panic attack, Chloe and Scotty (cause i'm a sucker for them and they deserve a warning of their own), you are Scotty’s sister in this imagine (but it’s not really important and here he's canadian), alcoholic beverages, driving after drinking (pls don’t do it).

January- 2021

There was a day at the end of last year when you had a huge fight with your (now) ex-boyfriend ‘cause you found out that he was cheating on you with his own cousin, and decided to go skiing by yourself to let some anger out and think about the situation more freely. And let’s say that too much alcohol and skiing isn’t such a good combination, which resulted in a terrible accident.

You still remember trying to dig out but your fingers wouldn’t move at all, the suffocating and hyperventilating, the snow feeling like concrete, you remember feeling panicked, but also incredibly helpless. What a humiliating way to die huh? There was absolutely nothing you could do. The last thing in your mind, before it all went black, was the excruciating pain in your ankle.

When you woke up in the hospital your brother Scott was by your side, sleeping, but at least you weren’t alone right? He told you that he got a call from the hospital and they told him that an unknown skier had found and saved you. He asked you what happened and well… your ex got a restraining order on your brother.

The hardest part to hear was that you broke your ankle… one month before the winter tournament, you would lose this opportunity but you can handle yourself, you can handle the pain and the hard trainings you’ll have to do after all this, the problem is: Lukov, your skating partner and your childhood best friend.

Lukov is going to be alone this season and even tho he says everything is fine, you know it isn’t. He doesn’t have a partner, so you promised him that you would find someone. But you could never find someone with the same connection as you guys have, but with the same experience… Yeah, there was someone. The problem is that the only girl that can be a good partner for your best friend, is your enemy’s sister.

Chloe is the kindest human you ever met and one of the best ice skaters too. But she’s glued to the hip with her not-so-kind brother, Lance. And there’s where your desire to help Lukov die a little bit, to convince one Stroll you have to convince the other. And that will be painful, but since you were the inconsequent one and got yourself hurt you kinda owe your dear partner that. 

•

“Oh my god, yes! I was dying to participate in this tournament but since they only accept pairs and y’know that after Elliott had gone back to Europe I haven’t got time to get a new partner. That would be actually perfect- like- I mean- I’m so sorry for your accident and I hope you get well soon” she simply blurted all out and smiled nervously in the end

“Yeah I got the cake you sent me and by the way thank you but I’m already good. And thank you so much for accepting the offer, I know that me and Lu always had this rivalry with you and Elliott in the competitions but you know how much I admire you”

“Don’t worry babes. But I’m going to be honest with you, even tho this is good for both of us I promised my brother that I would train with him since I didn’t plan on competing this season…” Oh great “I know you guys are not besties. Still, I need you two to give it a try, ‘cause I don’t want to disappoint either of you so I’m sure he’s going to understand me. But are you capable of it?”

“Pff for sure, I don’t like him but we can tolerate each other just for some training sessions…”

No, we can’t.

•

“Your posture is terrible, is actually impressive that you can skate with that awful balance” how is this man a hockey player?

“Ow shut-”

“About it girl, forgot to tell you how he is the “all muscles no brain” type” Chloe said smiling

“What muscles?”

“Hey I have much more than you” he flexed his arm clearly offended 

“That’s what you said last night” you said smirking at his angry expression

“So I’m gonna let you two alone, love you both and don’t kill each other!”

Was always like this, you and Lance bickering over everything, Chloe trying to stop you both (until she got tired and started ignoring) and your brother saying that you two should just admit the unsaid love.

After Chloe left the silence was weird. Had been quite some time since you two spoke last, it was probably a discussion but it was at Christmas two years ago. Your families have this tradition, one year Christmas is on yours and the other on Stroll’s, it’s almost cool if it wasn’t for the talks about hockey and figure skating.

“You know you don’t actually have to “help” me, right?” 

“I don’t want to but first: I’m not gonna disappoint your sister ‘cause she’s helping me so fucking much and second: you kinda need it, your posture is really terrifying I’m surprised you didn’t already hurt yourself”

“You still a bitch-”

“What do you thought would change that?”

“Since you were soo busy “out studying” last years’ Christmas”

“Did you missed me, pretty boy?” you said finally putting on your ice skates and giving him some pats on his hair

“Fuck you” he laughed

“I was actually out studying asshole, was in Germany preparing for the Winter Olympics”

“Do you really got to participate for Canada?” he asked while you were crossing through the ice rink

“Yeah, me and Lukov”

“Wow that’s incredible”

“Don’t be so surprised, Lance. I’m the best and Lu is the best, we obviously got it” you said pretending to be unbothered and attempting to do a single axel, but the landing was poor.

“Well, I’m sure you're not at your best right now…Are you even sure you can skate? You should be more careful”

“You are the one telling me this? Really? The boy who hurt himself karting and two days after is in a hockey game and being a total bender?” 

“At least I could compete- Ouch” he couldn't finish ‘cause you got his lumber and slapped him with it to shut him down.

“Fix your damn back, Quasimodo! And those ankles!” you started hitting in the right places until he fix it.

•

You had come to the rink quite early to have some time for yourself, your physio is giving you a hard time in this recovery. Even with your overworked muscles and stabbing pain, the only thing in your mind is dance. This is your coping method, always has been. Angry? Dance. Happy? Dance. Sad? Dance.

You were in the middle of a spiral when you almost had a heart attack after seeing Lance seated on the bench, watching you intensely. 

“Shit! You scared the shit out of me Stroll!” you recomposed yourself and started crossing to get to him 

“It’s not my fault you are too deaf to not hear me coming in, ring rat”

“Rink rat? Me? You are the one who used to expel the little kids when you wanted to train in public!”

“This was years ago!”

“Still”

An uncomfortable silence settled before he said calmly:

“Your problem was in your ankle but your knees aren’t straight enough when you do your spiral…”

“I know. Thanks for confirming I’m not crazy tho, I was on the verge of filming to see my form”

“If you need help I can do it y’know?” Did you hear that right?

“You can do a spiral?”

“No dumbass, I can help you with it!”

“Do you plan on breaking my leg while doing it? Why are you offering help?”

“Because you clearly need… And ‘cause you’re helping me with my posture…”

“Seems suspicious…”

“First: That’s what you said last night. Second: let’s make a deal! We can train together since I need to practise my attack and you need to come back being good”

“That’s your attempt to convince me?” You deadpanned 

“You know what I mean! And could you please go to my next game? I can help you with your routine since you don't have Lukov at the moment!”

“Why would I go to your game?”

“It’s a bet! Since your last discussion with Chris, they bet that you wouldn’t come back this year” Chris is funny but he’s the type of guy that thinks only about hockey and sex.

“And let me guess! You were the only one to bet on me, ‘cause you thought that you could convince me-”

“Yeah!”

“What would you win?”

“Beer, your favourite one by the way!” How does he know your favourite type of beer? Maybe from all the dinners? You don’t know.

“Okay then”

“For real?”

“Yeah, even if it hurts to admit I could use some help…”

•

“You gonna play as a goalie eh?”

“I swear to god that if you hit that fucking rubber in me I’m gonna kill you!”

“Calm down, sweetheart. Just got to practise some breakaways for tomorrow’s game” he giggled while helping you put the protections on

“You gonna pay all my food tomorrow if I hurt myself with this”

You did quite well actually, were able to stop some of it with your arms and legs, even if it got you a purple bruise near your shoulder. In the end, you both were too tired to talk while taking off your protections. 

“I have to be honest, I underestimated your little game”

“That’s what you said last night! But I knew you always had done that! I told Scott but he didn’t believed me!”

“Looks like an easy sport, what can I do? Why would I care about it?”

“Your dancing looks very much easy, little one”

“Let’s see that after tomorrow”

•

“You are trying to kill yourself? You dumb bitch!” you said while putting a cotton pad in his nose because this idiot got himself hurt fighting another player.

“He insulted me!” he whined

“And what are you? A kid? You’re so fucking immature, that could’ve cost your team the game!”

“Y’know… for someone that says about “not caring” about hockey you’ve got pretty heated in the grandstand”

“You make me want to break your nose” you whispered while picking up another pad.

“I’m pretty much sure I saw you screaming at the referee” he was looking up into your eyes with a smirk on his lips.

“He almost gave your mate a penalty for nothing. What did you expected me to do?”

“You are something else, you know that?” he did not contain his laugh this time and you just hummed.

“I want a juice” you thought out loud after the talk has quieted down and finished cleaning his nose with a wet tissue.

“Let’s get one then” he jumped and picked up your hand on the way walking to the convenience store.

You went completely silent, by his action but went with it.

“Orange or strawberry?” you chose and he paid.

“You didn’t had to pay for it-” you started saying, going back to your usual ice rink.

“I promised”

“That didn’t hurt”

“You have a purple spot” he contested you while opening the front door for you.

“That’s what you said last night! And it’s nothing compared to your nose”

“He got the worse, honey” he joked sitting in the grandstand near your stuff.

“You are something else, Stroll”

“Wanna play something?” he uttered suddenly.

“Like what?” you asked, sipping your juice, desiring for only a second that would be something stronger. 

“Truth or drink!”

“We have literally juices, Lance”

“So I’m gonna get us some beers, wait a second” What the actual fuck is happening was your thought while he was away.

“You want to ask me something boy?”

“No! I swear!”

“Hmm looks sus for me”

“Then you can go first”

“Why did you put so much faith in your team at the beginning if they were shit?”

“I felt it, I think. Why is Lukov your partner?”

“I felt it, I think” he gave you a death glare after you laughed at his question “He always had been there you know? We met on his first day here, the poor boy didn’t know how to properly speak in Russian let alone English or French so I helped with it-”

“Do you speak Russian?!” he was astonished

“No, but I helped him learn English and defended him from some dumb kids. When I think of me I think of Lukov. My childhood, adolescence, and every moment of my life he was there with me and for me. We always had this crazy connection and I am so fucking lucky to have found him…”

“When I was younger I thought you guys were a thing…” he silently gulped his beer

“WHAT-”

“I know! But don’t blame me you used to look like a couple, still do actually”

“It’s for the act! We need to have chemistry!”

“Still, every time you two are competing looks like you are about to kiss each other in the middle of everyone”

“Are you jealous, Stroll?” you lean over him smirking before laughing.

“Fuck you is your time!”

“‘M out of creativity, you go again”

“Okay… What were you actually doing in the last two years?”

“Germany I told you”

“If you not gonna actually tell me then drink-”

“I’m telling you! I was practising”

“But Lukov only had gone after you last year” You stop to think if you should actually tell him the truth 

“I was thinking about competing alone… But after two weeks I gave up!’

“Why did you thought that was a good idea?” He sipped his beer and you noticed yours had ended.

“Was afraid if I was keeping Lu in the sport against his will… We haven’t got first place in quite some time so I got paranoid. I always thought that he stayed because of me since I kind of depended on him and the other way around. But then we had a discussion and we understood each other. Now everything’s good!”

“Okay… It’s your turn”

"Have you always wanted to be a hockey player?"

"No... I’ve always wanted to try being a Formula 1 driver, I really love the sport"

"And you don't love hockey?..." 

"I learned to"

He passes you one of the bottles, ice cold and sweating, and as weird as it can sound the silence was painful but reassuring at the same time.

You opened your mouth then shut it again before saying "I hated skating at first... Thought it was boring, preferred volleyball in high school"

"Why did you stayed?"

"Why did you?"

"I asked it first" he smirks

"Even if skating is boring, dancing is amazing, I always loved it. It's art, it's a wonderful way to express yourself... And that's what I do. Oh and obviously if it wasn't my dad convincing me, I would be on a really different path right now"

"Pfft if it wasn't for my mother I would've never put my feet in an ice rink. But seeing her around at least for my games made it all the effort worthy, every time I see my dad smiling when I or Chloe win something it feels better than winning the prize actually"

"I think if it weren't for our families we would never even meet"

"And you would love that, right?"

"I don't think so, to be honest. Let's say that you changed a lot of things about me, things that I like now"

"Are you okay? Have you been cloned?" he touched your forehead to feel your temperature

"Don't be a dick now, for once please" you doe-eyed him

"Even saying please... I need to take you out drinking more times, huh?"

"Asshole-"

"That's it! That's my girl!" He laughs loudly.

“That’s what you said last night” You couldn’t contain yourself.

"But since you are being honest for once. You changed things in me too. I think I'm one of the best players in the world because of you..."

"Wow! Are you drunk already? Didn't think it would only take one beer to do that!" He gave you a playful punch in your arm.

"No, but honestly, you made me competitive. At the end of last season, like in the last game, the pressure was all up and I couldn't think straight but I saw you with Scott and Chloe in the audience and I clearly remember thinking how much you would roast me if I lose in the end"

“See I’m the best and I don’t even need to try” You laughed while he began to run after you threatening to pour his beer out in your hair.

•

“Nooo I’m hungover” he mourned when you pushed him inside.

“You were the one that made us drink yesterday plus you promised me” You started stretching.

“Okay, what do I do?”

“Well, since you barely can stand in a blade you’ll just gonna help giving me the impulse”

“Hey! I’ve watched your routines I can keep up with it” dear god

“Just do what I say, Stroll. Do you at least know the names?” the way he smiled gave you the answer.

“I know what an axel is. I’ve seen you doing it before”

You proceeded to explain to him the basic stuff, like the six main jumps (axel, salchow, toe loop, loop, flip and lutz) and your long program, which is the one you’re having more trouble with since the step sequence is harder.

“Oh my god are you okay?” he came running to you after you’ve done a perfect hydroblade 

“Yes? It’s part of the program Lance” This is going to be harder than you thought…

“Okay, so you don’t need help with the loop jump but need it with the triple salchow?”

“Yes, you’ll need to swirl my waist and support me with the landing eh?”

He tried to do what you said but it took a few times until he got right. He was so scared of dropping or even touching you that he forgot to help you land. On the 12th try probably, he almost got perfect. The rotation in the air, slightly less than 360 degrees was just on point.

“You did this on instinct, right?” you say after doing a spiral, that doesn’t hurt your ankle anymore.

“Yes?...” Lance said as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Then try to synchronise with me”

“What? No! Have you gone mad? It’s too dangerous!”

“I know what I am doing, just trust yourself. My type of dance is based on trust and connection. I trust you enough to know that you’ll not let me fall and you have to trust me that I’m not trying something crazy. That’s already a type of connection, so follow my lead”

You showed him your and Lukov's most basic program but that included a lot of sync so it would be good to practice. He almost knocked you two down the ice twice before he got in the way and let’s say he wouldn't be a bad figure skater.

When the fourth try ended, it was perfect. He followed your steps gracefully, your feet in complete sync, he gave you the perfect amount of impulse when needed and the warmth provided from your bodies proximity was incredible. It was different than with Lukov, obviously. Your teammate is one of the best skaters in the world alongside you but the way your bodies connected as they were made for each other was weird but not a bad weird… A good one.

“Lukov and Chloe’s first round is tomorrow,” you blurted all out when you noticed how close your faces are, noses almost touching and his eyes burning into yours “we can’t lose it!” you finally were able to pull away from his firm grip on your waist, as you feel your cheeks burning. 

“Uh, s-sure. They would kill us if we don’t go” he said, going to his stuff to drink something.

“You are great, y’know?! I mean, apart from looking constipated in the beginning like you have never touched a woman. You did an incredible job!” You stated in a low voice trying to regain your composure and got out of the rink with a hockey stop making him get ice in all his clothes.

“You look like you are about to fall anytime, what did you want me to do?” he says, taking away the ice while rolling his eyes.

“No, but for real. You did great. Your instinct is gonna take you really far…” you praise him while taking your skates off.

“You’re more flexible now, have you been practising outside of here?”

“Yeah, my coach is making me work harder than when I prepare for competitions”

“Don’t overwork yourself” he advises you before you coincidently almost trip over his bag “Careful there, girl” you hiss “Can I take a look at your ankle?”

“Sure” You sit down next to the bench where he is and Lance picks up your leg and starts to undress it near your foot.

“Your coach saw how swollen it is?” he started massaging delicately.

“F-Fuck” you hiss again “No, she hasn’t! It gets like this after a hard training session. It's okay, really. In less than two hours is going to be new” you tried to get your leg off his lap but he just scooted over even more.

“So you’re telling me your ankle gets this swollen every time you train?” His suspicious eyes got you right away, years of convivence and growing up together unfortunately get you to know each other better. Too much better, sometimes.

“No-“

“Don’t lie! You are overworking your ankle!” His eyes were always this piercing?

“Your words, not mine!- Ouch!” He squeezed one nerve harder making you wish for death.

“We are going to stop training if you keep up with that! You got me?” he was damn serious about it.

“What are you? My dad?” 

“Wrong answer” he squeezed that damn nerve again “You understand me?”

“Yeah, Lance. Can you let me go now?”

“Not this early, darling. We gotta wrap it up” he gave your leg a weak tap before getting up and getting an elastic bandage. “You need to be more careful, for real. It’s too fucking dangerous, you plan to be back at competing no? What if it gets worse?” you could notice the genuine concern in his eyes, it almost made you feel bad for not taking enough care of yourself.

“I didn’t mean to… I just want to be at my best again. I finally got a place in the Olympics and now what? I mess up my entire fucking life because of-”

“Why were you there? Why were you skiing alone on Thanksgiving?”

“Jeremy cheated on me. I came back early to make him a surprise and he was fucking his own cousin in my house, in my room, in my fucking bed” You could feel the tears threatening to fall “How disgusting this can be? Oh, and I found out later that he was trying to get in my dad’s company. He always tried to pull me away from the family’s business, just so he could get near my place?” your blood started to boil again.

“H-Hey-” he tried to get your attention but it was all in the rage, all the pain from being such an idiot.

“I was fucking mad! I was furious, Lance! I was such a fucking idiot! A little son of a bitch can cost me my career because I let him! I let him see all the versions of me, all my sides, my emotions, my scars, my traumas, everything! I let myself be vulnerable and he took advantage of it ‘cause I let him! And I am so fucking stupid to let my rage and pain take hold of me and I almost died for it!-” he hugged you.

You didn’t felt when he moved your leg from the way and got closer to you. You could feel his breath on your neck and his shirt getting wet from the warm tears that had escaped your eyes. The comfort is weird. You never expected comfort from Lance Stroll’s embrace. It feels like he understands you, maybe he is not that bad.

“I am here” he flattened your shirt while patting your hair gently “I always have- Always will…” he indeed was always there, even if in the wrong circumstances. You two stayed like that for much longer than you could count properly. 

It feels good, it feels right, it feels like home. But it shouldn’t. You try to remember all the reasons why you should hate him, all fights and discussions the multiple times he made you crazy, but nothing comes to mind.. Nothing, nothing but a pure childish rivalry. 

“Thank you, Lance…” You sniffed trying to hide your face from him, but he pulled it up with his finger in your chin.

“You don’t need to thank me. And you’re not the wrong one. You just thought you could trust someone you loved, that’s perfectly normal. He’s the motherfucker here. And honestly? He’s such a fucking idiot for losing you.” he cleans away your tears with his thumbs. 

“You don’t have to compliment me just ‘cause I’m crying”  you chuckled.

“I’m not complimenting you, just saying the truth. He is the biggest asshole I know, and such a dumb one for letting you go. Considering how picky you are with relationships, he was lucky you even gave him a chance.”

“I’m not picky” you pout.

“You literally rejected everyone who asked you to proms in school, and that includes basically all the football team” he deadpanned. 

“I used to want someone in particular who didn’t try his luck with me…” Stupid little you to think that he would ask you in high school like he would choose you when you two fought all the time, you thought to yourself while gathering your stuff and ready to go now.

“Who was it?” he asked, following with big curious-puppy eyes. 

“Good night, Lance. See you tomorrow! We meet there” You ignored him and started strolling to your car.

“I can pick you up at nine?!” he yells.

“Nope! See you there!” Okay, maybe you started running.

•

“Oh dear, you look terrible” Yes, that’s your best friend’s first words when he sees you after weeks without each other.

“I told you” Stroll whispered behind you, holding both of your coffees and fighting his laugh. 

“My god, what is my brother doing to you, honey?” Chloe arrived also looking concerned.

“I really hate you all” you flipped them off before hugging them.

“Really babes, what were you doing?” Lukov took you by your arm and dragged you to the rink’s background. “Interesting late night, huh?”

“Not the one you’re imagining, unfortunately. Spend all night thinking”

“Thinking about?…”

“So- Hm, the program we planned is still the same?”

“Don’t change the subject, lady!”

“Just answer” 

“Yes, it is. But I had to change a bit since Chloe had gone almost one year without competing. Not gonna be easy, but at least, we will be at the podium”

“That’s what matters”

“What about you and Stroll-”

“Chloe!” You ran to her when you saw her passing with Lance. 

“I’ll extract the truth from you or him!-”

“How are things going with Scotty, honey?” You started talking and planning her bachelor party. In the end, we plan to meet the next day to properly talk. While Lukov tried to “extract the truth” from Lance. 

•

Lukov and Chloe were the last pair to perform and got the best score. The program we planned it’s perfect, even with the adaptations still an amazing choreography. Was an… experience to watch your teammate from outside the rink, imagining it was you with him. A bit distracting tho with Lance holding your hand every time his sister takes her feet off the ground.

“Have you ever watched your sister competing?” you said when he took your hand for the 5th time probably.

“I-I had but- I was young. Never thought about the risks- Like, she could actually die if he let her fall!”

“You are talking like a kid, Lance” you mourned.

“Already told you today how much I love when you call me by my first name?” he smirked leaning closer “Prefer when I talk to you like an adult, darling?”

“So what do you think?” Chloe asked euphorically, hugging you and her brother.

“Impressive!” “Great!” you and Lance said in unison.

“Just great?” She pouts.

“Great is wonderful in her translation!” Lukov nudges you with his elbow.

“You’re really tough,” Lance added.

“That’s what you said last night” damn your mouth, you thought to yourself as you watched Chloe and Lukov getting extremely wide-eyed.

“Really good timing,” Stroll said, holding his laugh and blushing slightly.

“That’s why you looked so tired, huh?!” “Spend the night ‘thinking’, right?” Chloe and Lukov said smiling to both of you.

“Are you teaming up against me?!” You whine while drinking your umpteenth cup of coffee.

“Just wishing you the best, honey” Lance’s sister gives you two taps on your back.

“And a hockey player is good enough eh?” Lukov agrees with her.

“I really fucking hate you both. See you next round!” You declared before going to the parking lot.

“So… My next game, the season’s final is in three days, right after their second round” You heard quick steps following you but didn’t need to turn back to know who it was.

“On the same day?” You leaned against the car, waiting for his response.

“Yep. Can you still train with me, then?”

“That was always the plan, no?”

“But I can help you more with your stuff-“

“Lance, I’m not following. That’s the whole point of our deal, is there something you would like to change?”

“No, just want to chat a bit, to be honest”

“Wow, how cute. But I need to go, my physio is waiting for me” you said entering the car, about to close the door.

“Can I go with you?” He quickly asked.

“Ah- I mean- If you promise not to tell her about the ankle thing, you can”

“I promise! When and where?”

“I’m gonna tell her and I’ll send you the info” You finally could close the car’s door.

On the way home you thought about his proposal and you don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. Letting him see you more vulnerable than he has already seen, that would break down another wall between you two. Building an intimate one in the place.

•

“Hey-“

“Remember! Don’t talk about my ankle, don’t be too polite and most importantly, don’t talk about my dad!” You blurted out nervously.

“Can I ask you why all this? Do I really need to worry?” His face turns to the side like a confused puppy.

“One word about the ankle, I kill you. If you’re too polite she will just make fun of you, and if she does don’t talk back. If you talk about my dad, she kills you. Simple”

“Care to explain what happened with your dad?”

“Long story short they had a drunk fuck, turned into a fling and she fell for him and-“

“It wasn’t reciprocated, I assume” 

“You’re absolutely right, handsome! Now please don’t be an asshole and in case she asks you to help me, refuse.”

“Okay-“ You yanked his arm and went inside the building walking fast.

“Good morning sweetheart, how’re you feeling?” Monica said hugging you and ignoring the boy behind you.

“Lance, this is Monica and Mo this is Lance”

“Just call me Dr.” She said rudely, clearly testing him.

“Okay, Dr. It's a pleasure to meet the woman who is taking care of her,” he pointed at you and offered his hand.

“Yeah it’s a pleasure to finally meet the boy who’s helping her stubborn ass to train even more” She smiled ironically and shook his hand “But anyway I need to get some things before we start, you arrived early so wait up” and then she’s gone.

“She’s a bit moody, isn't she?” He asked while you attempt to remove your boot.

“Just a bit and she doesn’t know you…” Lance watching your clumsy way to take your shoes off he seats by your side, gets your leg in his lap as he had done some days ago and does it for you “You didn’t need to, I could’ve done it”

“Stop being fucking stubborn, if I want to help I will!”

“And she technically works for your dad too” You ignored his last comment and the heat in your cheeks as he also removed your sock. Too simple, too intimate.

“My dad isn’t a bad boss!”

“But he is an absent one. He bought her family company and put one of your distant cousins to be the CEO, let’s say she is just not your dad’s biggest fan” 

“You should have warned me that too-“

“It was way too funny to see you getting all riled up, not knowing how to act and shit” You giggle ignoring him leaning on your legs.

“Get your ass off my patient” Monica called him out loud while you laugh at his scared reaction.

“S-Sorry”

“Let’s get started!”

•

“Boy, can you be useful once?” Your physio asks loudly at an almost sleeping Lance.

“Y-Yeah, sure!”

“Push her lower back in the ground’s direction” you tensed under his gaze. You were with your dominant leg up, like a spiral position. 

“D-Don’t-“ you tried to say.

“Shut up girl, do you want to skate or not?” Even if it hurts to admit, Monica is right. 

His hands lay on your waist gently and go down to your lower back. He tried to push it down carefully but after a hard stare of your physio, he did as asked. You felt like your skin was burning, not from the pain of the stretch but from the man’s contact. His hands send shivers down your whole body, you felt like your heart was beating in your throat.

This isn’t intimate, you two have been much closer before but right now? It’s different. No one ever made you feel like that, maybe in different circumstances but not like this, no. 

Being in such a vulnerable position makes you feel sick, especially him seeing you like this. But after that drunk talk some days ago there’s not much to hide. He opened up to you and you cried in him. Call it quits.

“Hold her like that for a sec, ‘gonna get a rope” 

“What was the third rule, Lance?!” you grunt.

“What? I’m not listening you!” He pushes you down even more while you feel a stare on your back. 

“If you stop staring at my ass for a sec you would listen to me, jackass! I know it looks good but not now, man” you joke feeling his hold faltering “Would’ve hurt you to say no to her? She has worked alone with me for years. She can do it, you don’t need to help. I told you, but you never listen to me, do you?-”

“Okay, lovebirds, I’m back”

•

We didn’t talk much after the physiotherapy, both of us were too focused in our own heads. We went out to eat after, but the lunch was just as silent as the way there. After quite some hours Chloe called you asking what time would you arrive and you just got in your car and went to her house.

“Hi girl! You got us wine? You know I’m competing but I’m not gonna refuse a glass” She smirked and let you in.

“10 things I hate about you?” You suggested, sitting in the couch.

(yes that was a link to my Daniel Ricciardo one-shot, check out in my masterlist)

“Oh my God, yes!” She sits down beside you and puts the film on. “So, how was your day? Heard Lance had gone with to physio, everything’s right?”

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t actually know why he insisted on going with me, but it was quite good ‘cause he helped my doctor so it was faster.”

“‘Noticed you two are not fighting too much anymore…”

“Yeah, I think we just like to tease each other, y’know?! We have some good talks sometimes, actually” you start fidgeting your fingers anxiously. 

“You guys have always been like this, you’re just noticing because you’re spending more time together” she smirks into her glass.

“And you and Lukov, how is it going? You two have great sync”

“He’s an amazing partner. I can see why you two always outdone me, you guys are incredible!” She answers you, getting some snacks.

“You’re awesome too, if you weren’t you wouldn't be with him honestly. You were the only one that came to mind when I needed to find another partner for him” you smile to yourself when she blushes to your compliment.

“How’s your skating? I know you have been practising more but how do you feel? Does it still hurts too much?” 

“A bit, yeah. But only when I overwork myself and at hardest jumps”

“It must be hard, sorry girl-” she burped as the wine quietly got the best of her, she had always been weak for drinks “Especially when all we do is overwork ourselves, isn’t it? And you and Lukov are best known for the quad throw salchow, you think you can come to that?” She caresses your arm affectionately.

“For sure, I’m working hard for it. Lance is even helping me train the hard jumps. Even with that bad posture of his, it’s actually helping a lot.”

“That’s s-soo good to hear, sweetie” She says finishing her second glass and you take the wine bottle clearly away from her.

“Well, it could be worse, you know?! I felt like I was dying…-”

“I m-mean you could have, if it wasn’t for Lance founding you that day. H-He was so in shock when he came back from the hospital where he let you, the poor b-boy couldn't even speak p-properly” the blonde confesses between quiet burps. 

“What are you talking about, Chloe?” You ask nervously. The movie, the wine, and the snacks are all long forgotten as you stop to think about the probabilities. It’s impossible, right?! What are the chances that he was the one that saved you? Why would he be there? How would he find you? Why didn’t he told you?

“S-Shit, I feel like I shouldn't have said that” she admits looking down at herself.

“It’s true? You swear?”

“Cross my heart, baby” she drunkenly says.

“I need to go, Chloe. Let’s get you to bed.” You sit up and start to organize the stuff, while she sits on the couch pouting because-

“You already going?” She pouts even harder.

“I need to” You really do need time for yourself right now. How are you going to look at him tomorrow?

“Did I did s-something wrong? No! Did I said something wrong?!”

“No, sweetheart, you didn’t. Now, come with me,” at the moment you set her in her bed she falls sleeps. You look for an aspirin and set on her bedside table, asking yourself how someone can get wasted so quickly.

•

You just got to sleep a few hours. You attempted to write him a few messages just to delete it before sending, rereading the last text he send. A simple “Tomorrow at 8 am, right? See you <3”, that makes your heart shudder with confusion. The way to the rink was weird. That’s exactly the word. All the questions that filled your head makes you a bit dizzy, you don’t even know if you will be able to practise today, since he’s gonna be soo near you.

“Good morning sweetheart!” he shouts from the bench excitedly.

“Why are you happy? It’s morning” you reply roughly.

“I watched a few programs on the internet yesterday and I’m feeling really inspired!” He got up twirling and following me from inside the ice.

“Good” you couldn’t contain yourself to not be short with him.

“Are you okay?” His worried expression got in your low point of view while you were lacing your skates.

“Yeah, yeah” ignoring is probably the best way to deal with it.

He was much more confident this session. The grip of his hands much more strong, the sync is good and his skating more balanced. But the connection you two found in the last practice seemed lost. It felt like he was searching for you while you were skimming away, every time he helped you in the jumps it felt like you didn’t want to be held, like his touch burned you. 

It was an unspoken tension. His eyes asking you what happened during each break, and you ignoring him. The silence was uncomfortable, but thinking about yesterday’s revelation during the whole practice made you decide to postpone the confrontation. He needs to be focused on the season’s end game. 

“Soo… you gonna tell me what happened? Did I do something wrong?” He seated beside you pouting.

“Sorry to mess up our session” you avoided through your teeth.

“Want to talk about it?” He puts an arm around your shoulder. It would feel comforting if you didn’t know he has been lying all this time.

“How would you feel if I didn’t tell you something really important about yourself?” You considered refusing his proposal but you couldn’t hold yourself.

“I don’t know… If it’s something really important to me I would be mad as fuck with you, but it depends” How can he act so clueless? Or Chloe was lying, which didn’t seem like it, or he’s just a liar. Both of them don’t have a reason to lie, but it’s just so confusing to you it hurts your brain.

“Huhum…”

“Want to tell me? You seem shaken. Does it have anything to do with Jeremy?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. And no, it was not him. It was just another asshole, but I gotta go” You got up, gathering your stuff and going home ignoring his thoughtful goodbye. 

The air in your car in the way back home was cold with confusion and loneliness. Tomorrow is the hockey training and the next day is his last game. Then you can finally press him to tell you the truth. When you arrived home you noticed almost a hundred texts from Chloe and Lukov, but decided to ignore both of them.

•

Lance Stroll POV

I spend more time in the rink practising to loose my mind from her attitude, forgot to eat and it’s past midnight when I get home. She was so distant, like all the progress we achieved in this meantime got lost. It’s confusing because even tho she says she’s fine she avoided the question when I asked if I did something wrong.

I can’t think of anything that I could’ve done recently. She seems disappointed and confused, it’s making me crazy. We’re not best friends but we’re not enemies either. I don’t know what to think and this might be a very anxious reaction but I need to see her. I feel like she is slipping through my fingers.

“What the hell are you doing in my house at 3 in the morning, Lance?!” She opened her front door with nothing but a large T-shirt and short shorts.

“I know I’ve hurt you somehow, but please, only for today try to understand me, I’m not asking for your forgiveness… well, kinda, but-”

“What are you doing here, Lance?” She opens the door more and asks me again huffing. 

“I don’t know what I have done to upset you or make you mad, but I am sorry” I enter her house without even noticing my leg moves “I’m really sorry, doesn’t matter why or what I’ve done I’m sorry. It’ll sound really crazy but I realised I miss you. And now this sound really weird! I don’t know what I’m saying anymore-”

I can’t finish the initial sentence that I don’t even know where it was going. I am interrupted by… lips? Her lips. Her lips pressing against mine in a gentle yet desperate way, pushing me harshly to the wall and making me whimper in a low tone, giving her the chance of sliding her tongue inside my mouth. When I finally have the opportunity to reciprocate the kiss she pushes away suddenly. 

“Shut. Up.” 

“That’s the first thing you say after kissing me?”

“I kissed you to shut you up. But you kissed me back.” She points at me cynically.

“That’s-”

“You saved me, didn’t you?! You took me out of the snow?!” The girl asked me with wide eyes. I don’t know which emotions her eyes are transmitting right now but maybe something between anger and something that I can’t put a finger on.

“W-What do you want me to say?” I absolutely don’t know how she knows that.

“The truth!” It had been quite a while since she last looked at me with that much annoyance. 

“It was me, I took you out of the snow” I lean into the wall tiredly.

“Why were you there?” She asked indignantly, walking to her couch.

“I was trying to clean my head-”

“The truth!”

“Someone I was expecting to be there didn’t show up… The ice rink was closed and thought about skiing” Two years without you showing up made me worried and jealous, that was the other truth.

“Why did you take me off?” She sits on her couch, looking at her feet.

“What- It’s not like I hate you, I’m not heartless!”

“Yeah, sure” She huffs not believing my words.

“I can’t lie, I know we’ve been hating each other all these years, but I don’t think I hate you anymore, ‘cause every single good memory I have, you’re there!” I feel a single tear streaming down my right cheek as I scream at her “I was in the snow that night 'cause I was jealous of Jeremy, that fucking bastard that never deserved you! I was worried that he hurt you because you know what happened when he started living with his ex! You always show up at family Christmas and then two years in a row?!”

“I-I-I don’t know what to s-say. You were there because of me?!”

“And thank god I was!” I sit next to her exasperated.

“I wanted to wait until your last game, after tomorrow… That was why I didn't told you before, I was scared!” She finally looks into my eyes and god, this is so fucking weird. It’s different from the anger she showed before. Her eyes are probably the most beautiful thing I ever saw, I could spend hours looking at her in complete silence. 

“I don’t know when it changed, to be honest. Probably when you started dating that asshole… Then I was too scared to tell you”

“Ownt you love me? I knew it, always did” The woman in front of me, the prettiest one and wittiest one too, mess with me even after all this situation.

“Fine, continue acting like you hate me” I sit back looking at her pretending I don’t care but if she really just makes fun of me I don’t know what I’m gonna do.

“Don’t you dare look at me that way! Not now, after every vile thing we’ve done to each other” She smiles scooting closer to my stretched arm.

“Why can’t we just let whatever this pointless rivalry is go?” I look down at her almost shining eyes.

“You lied-” She tried to reason with me but her eyes couldn’t lie.

“And… We should talk about what just happened…” I sneak my hand to her waist confidently. 

“I refuse to talk about how I just lost control and kissed you” She wraps her legs around my hip smiling an inch away from my mouth.

“That's what you said last night-” I couldn’t stop looking at her lips.

“Shut up, Lance!” She laughs before smacking her lips in mine. 

@honeyric3 hope you enjoy <3

[ariadne-mouse]

For the combination of two prompts:

"headache relief" and "a truly abysmal cup of tea"

Shadowgast, rated G, hurt/comfort, 833 words

-

Essek's visits to Caleb's cottage in Rexxentrum were brief, and precious; despite their shared expertise in dunamancy, there never seemed to be enough time. And so when Essek arrived one windy spring morning, but could not concentrate on their shared research, and shied away with a wince from the meager light filtering through the shuttered windows, Caleb felt even more urgency to remedy whatever ailed him. Not just so that Essek would be well, but because these narrow hours were all they had to express the full spectrum of anything and everything they might have to say to each other.

There was Sending, yes, and Essek was talented in layering many things into few words.  But Caleb found he yearned to make and share space, and to see the gallery of Essek’s expressions play across his sharp-toothed mouth, his elegant brows, his clever eyes.

This pained, stubborn expression was a new one on his dear friend, and Caleb cataloged it feverishly in his memory even as he sought its antidote.

"It's nothing," Essek demurred, when Caleb pressed. "A slight headache." 

"Do you need to rest? You are very welcome to--" 

"I did not come here to sleep," Essek cut him off, then shook his head at the suggestive implication, waving it away as if it was a bothersome fly, then winced at both sudden motions. "I am here so we can revise the second runic config-" he broke off with a hiss and rubbed his temple. 

"Essek," Caleb half-chided, half-pleaded. "What can I do? I have healing potions. Or do you need Jester?" 

"Oh, no — please, no."

In fairness, he was probably right.  Despite her capacity for healing, Jester might very well simultaneously increase the headache in some other way, bright and loud and well-intentioned. 

Essek reached for a quill and a spare parchment from their research and jotted down a list, and a set of notes, his eyes squinting, his shoulders a scrunched line of weary tension. He offered this to Caleb, ink still wet, letters running rudely together. "If you can procure these herbs and prepare them as written, that would be a great help. This... issue... has a particular root cause, and a particular solution." 

Caleb burned two teleportations and ten minutes in the city, and another ten minutes in his small kitchen fussing with hot water and dead plants. While he'd been gone, Essek had curled up in an armchair with his feet tucked childishly under himself and his forehead resting on the upholstered arm, eyes closed, breathing slowly and deliberately, flinching when the metal pot clanged on the stove. 

The resulting brew was enough to fill one of his homely porcelain teacups, and dark enough to look like it might leave a stain. The smell was cloying, bitter. Essek looked at it with a combination of relief and revulsion. After cooling the steam off it with a curtly-gestured prestidigitation, he lifted it to his lips — markedly hesitated — then downed the whole thing in a few rapid gulps. 

"Water, please." He thrust the cup back at Caleb, his face an open snarl of disgust. 

The water, quickly procured, vanished with the same hurry and lack of decorum as the tea. Essek slouched back into the overstuffed armchair like he’d just fought a battle. His expression twitched a few more times, nose wrinkling and lips smacking, aftershocks of the taste of the tea. 

"And now?" Caleb pitched his voice low.  Essek sighed, eyes closing once more. "I wait for it to kick in. Always slower than I would like." 

Caleb said nothing, only waited there, his continued presence itself the question. 

One of Essek's eyes cracked open, a sliver of violet picking up the dim light. After regarding Caleb blearily, he extended his arm off the edge of the armchair, palm-up and limp, like it was not attached to him. "Press your thumbs to the heel of my hand, if you like." 

A simple task for a clever man. Caleb sat leaned forward in his chair with his elbows on his knees, Essek's hand in his, making gentle pressure points and soothing circles, over and over. Over the next quarter hour, the tension in Essek's shoulders and neck eased, and his breathing slowed, and the wrinkle between his brows ebbed away like a ripple of cloud erased by the wind. At some point Caleb moved his ministrations to Essek's other hand, as gentle as the first.  It was quiet in the cottage.

"Stop," Essek finally said. "That's enough." 

Caleb stopped. "Better?" 

"Yes. A bit." Essek sat up, very disheveled still.  He did not untuck his feet.  He was a cozy lump on the armchair, like a cat woken from a nap.

"Gut,” Caleb smiled.  There was a faint imprint of the upholstery on Essek’s cheekbone.  “Now, how would you like a cup of tea that doesn't smell like an alchemical mistake?  I have many offerings, courtesy of our friend Caduceus." 

"Yes," Essek replied, with a ghost of humor returning. "Please."

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

I mean, by "writers" you mean George Lucas himself because Palpatine is primarily a character created by Lucas.

The short answer is no, I don't, I think Palpatine is exactly what he needs to be.

The long answer is that I don't tend to see Palpatine as a CHARACTER very often and more as a symbolic representation of a lot of the themes in this story. One of the major themes in Star Wars is the choice between selfishness and selflessness and we see this through Anakin's story, Luke's story, and the story of the Republic as a whole. Temptation towards selfishness IS powerful, that's sort-of the whole point in many ways. It's powerful because it's easy, it's instant gratification, it feels good right up until it doesn't. So Palpatine is powerful more because of what he represents than anything more practical.

But if I'm going to TAKE a more practical look at it, then I'd say that the reason the Jedi beat the Sith Empire back in the day is because the Sith are all selfish people who don't know how to work together even against a common enemy and they constantly undermined and betrayed each other in a way the Jedi just did not. So there's just never enough of them combined to truly hold back the Jedi's forces. But Palpatine doesn't ever face them head on, he is the result of a thousand years of planning and laying low and so instead of trying to use real force to take out the Jedi, he uses a more poisonous method that removes a lot of their support from the inside. He learns politics, he gets himself into a position of power, he gets himself all the right allies, he starts corrupting the galaxy itself by encouraging the selfishness in the Senate (which causes most of the "clouding" of the Force, it is never Sidious alone, it's the galaxy becoming darker AS A WHOLE because of his machinations but also because of the choices people are making everywhere), and he is able to then start a war that he can use his power to shove the Jedi in the front of which starts causing a lot of them to die and scatters them across the galaxy inside the trap that is the clone army. Palpatine sees the mistakes made by his predecessors and very intentionally DOESN'T MAKE THE SAME ONES. He gets smarter and uses different methods to take the Jedi out from within the system they created to FIX the galaxy.

So if we go back to the thematic thing, Palpatine is powerful because the choices of a lot of people around him BOLSTER him enough to make him powerful. He is powerful because a lot of people are choosing to be selfish and cruel and greedy. He's not powerful all on his own, we see that when he goes up against Mace. He CAN be beaten by the Jedi, and fairly easily, if he has to rely on force alone. But he knows better than to rely on that and so he never does. Palpatine is a poison in the galaxy just by EXISTING, that's what causes the Force to be more clouded and unbalanced, and it's why Mace recognizes that he's too dangerous to be left alive. This is what the Sith ARE, by their very nature. It's why the Jedi dedicate themselves to eradicating the Sith and everything the Sith represent. There can be no fixing the galaxy or finding balance so long as the Sith remain.

Now, if we look at what the SEQUELS did with Palpatine, then yeah, sure, Palpatine is too powerful because now he's surviving getting thrown down a reactor hatch in a space station that got blown up somehow (which isn't like... UNUSUAL in Star Wars, Maul does something very similar and I hate it just as much as I do this variety of it) and then manages to like suck Force energy out of a Force dyad in order to make himself more... corporeal? I have no idea. But he also then makes the big "I am all the Sith" claim which was HILARIOUS to me when I rewatched the film recently because this might be the first time in galactic history that the Sith have all collectively worked together like that at all. Like HOW is he "all the Sith", what does that MEAN, how does it give him more power, and why does he even NEED IT? It's weird, it's stupid, he should be dead and we all know it, so by the time of the Sequels yes, he's too powerful, but in the Prequels and Original trilogies? No, he's fine, he's exactly as powerful as he needs to be to get across the narrative themes he helps represent.

[22ayla19]

Can I ask for a request for Muras (eleceed)

With a vampire reader that like him and wants to taste his blood cause it smells good, but she avoids him because of her urges, so he thinks she hated him instead

Note: I apologize if this is not quite similar to your request. It’s just that before that I had a couple more requests with Muras and the Vampire! Reader that I decided to combine everything into one Fic. I hope you don't mind 🙏

As a vampire, you and your clan to which you belonged lived far from people. The people themselves considered you demonic creatures, capable only of killing people, but the truth is that although you feed on blood, you can also live without it. You feed on blood only in order not to lose your abilities, because your abilities completely depend on the amount of blood that you consumed, but taking into account that even with a small amount of blood consumed, a vampire is stronger than an ordinary person, vampires are not particularly they tried to harm people, unless they, in a fit of fear, wanted to kill vampires, then they would go against people.

Of course you're still young for your clan, but you have more than enough curiosity. Your clan stayed away from ordinary human life, but on the contrary, you wanted to see the human world. As soon as you came of age, you left the clan and began to travel around the world. While traveling, you met a lot of new things, including people with superpowers. It was quite a shocking discovery for you, because you believed that only vampires had super powers. Considering this fact both dangerous and very interesting, you decided to join one such organization, posing as a very capable newcomer among the awakened. That’s how you ended up in the organization run by Astra.

Thanks to Gah-In, you were able to quickly adapt to the organization and learn more about the world of the awakened and their goals, which did not particularly please you, but you looked at this whole situation from the other side, the awakened considered you vampires to be just a myth, a fairy tale for children, so that scare them, therefore they would not attack you even if they knew. The awakened ones considered themselves to be something above ordinary people, although they themselves were no different from them, and the presence of super beings like vampires would simply amuse them, because they would consider them insignificant.

As a result, you simply decided not to tell anyone about your essence, because this does not promise anything good or anything bad.

But there was still one moment that forced you to put yourself at risk of revealing your identity. You were interested in one awakened one named Muras. Many people thought he was boring, but despite this, you felt that something was wrong with him, as if he was hiding his cunning personality behind the facade of boredom. For some time you tried to talk to him, but his silence alone hinted that he did not want to start a conversation, so you had to postpone a direct attempt to get closer to him. Whenever possible, you watched his manners and actions. To be honest, I didn’t find out anything new, just as he seemed to you at the first meeting with a boring façade, he always remained that way.

However, you would never have thought that your interest in this man would increase after you smelled his blood. A rather rare type of blood, but at the same time very useful for you as a vampire. The rarer the blood type, the more powerful the abilities of the vampire who sucked that blood. Of course, you wanted to take a bite of the pie to become stronger, but the problem is that Muras is quite cautious and vigilant. Since you wanted to taste this blood, that means you were taking a more serious step. Take control of Muras's mind. This ability was found in all vampires and also thanks to it you could erase the memory of the victim so that she would not remember anything. You didn’t like to use this ability, but your thirst made itself felt and you decided on this method.

As soon as the opportunity arose, you took control of Muras’s mind and dragged him away from prying eyes to take a couple of sips of his blood.

You were about to pierce him with your fangs when you felt him put his hand on your back and say:

- You could have just asked, and not taken control of your mind, - realizing that you were in a not very pleasant situation, you immediately jumped to the side, forgetting to hide your fangs, - Why were you so scared? Are you shocked that I know you're a vampire?

- I won’t hide it, I’m really shocked by this, - you answered the man with suspicion.

- This is not surprising, most of the awakened people know about your existence and many are even members of the same organizations. Apparently, you belong to a clan that did not want to interfere in the activities of people and the awakened, since you do not know about this fact, - a smile appeared on Muras’s face. He became amused by your reaction, which made his interest in you increase.

You didn't even know what to answer. Your parents didn’t tell you about this, and apparently, no one in the clan was eager to talk about the outside world; everyone maintained confidentiality.

- What's happened? Don't want to try my blood? - Muras asked with mockery.

-Are you sure you want to become my blood donor for the rest of your life? - Lie. There is no such thing that after a vampire bite, the victim becomes his donor forever. This was an attempt to take on the weak Muras and, perhaps, find out more about other vampires among the awakened.

- It’s not a pity to give to such a beautiful vampire. Only on the condition that you tell me why you joined our organization?

- Curiosity. As you said, I belong to a clan that maintains confidentiality and does not have contact with the outside world, honestly, I don’t even have much contact with other clans, so I wanted to know about the outside world, and so I came across you awakened ones and it became interesting that you. What kind of person are you, - you answered honestly, although understanding Muras’ suspicions, you didn’t think that he would believe your words.

- That's how... I noticed before that you are quite curious about everything that is ordinary for us people, but I didn’t think that you were a vampire. Now I am sure that you are not harming our organization. Well, since you started your business, then finish it. I will not resist. And to be honest, I’m even wondering if it hurts if you bite and how will I feel during this process?

- I can’t answer you, because I’ve never asked anyone. However, I have a counter question for you. How were you able to bypass the mind control? - You asked, more relaxed after Muras’ words.

- All awakened ones have a certain level of immunity against vampire mind control. We learned this a couple of decades ago. The more awakened one is, the stronger his immunity to mind control. Are you satisfied? - A mischievous grin appeared on Muras’s face. He loved seeing you so serious in a situation like this.

- More than. Well, since you are so interested in knowing whether I bite painfully, then let’s get down to business,- without looking into Murasu’s eyes, thanks to her hyper speed, she approached the man and instantly bit him on the neck.

"How shy she is. She didn’t even look me in the eye, she went straight to the point so as not to be embarrassed. She’s cute.” Muras thought as you carefully sucked the blood out of him.

As you expected, his blood gave you much more strength due to its rarity. You already felt the power seething inside you. No matter how greedy you were at the moment, you had to stop, because despite the fact that a man is awakened, he is still a creature that cannot exist without blood in his body. When you pulled away from him, you didn’t notice that a drop of blood had leaked out on your lip. Muras, of course, noticed this and wiped the blood from your lip with his thumb.

He expected the bite to be much more painful, but all he felt during the bite, and even after that, was an indescribable euphoria that grew into uncontrollable excitement. He definitely enjoyed the experience. Still, you are quite an interesting person, which will relieve his boredom, so why not try to become a bag of blood for a vampire like you?

He will definitely not regret his choice.

[realredbanana]

Idk if anyone’s already written about how much I’m Your Man by Mitski fits RanWan (Mo Ran’s pov), but it hasn’t left my brain in a while so.

(Purple bold = lyric quote, blue italics = book quote)

Lyrics/Explanations:

You’re an angel,

I’m a dog.

Or you’re a dog,

And I’m your man.

　‘You’re an angel, I’m a dog’, reads to me as almost like saying ‘you’re kind/gentle, I’m vicious/violent’, relating the bad things that can be related to dogs to themself, meanwhile ‘or you’re a dog, and I’m your man’ reads to me as them calling the other senselessly loyal, to the point that the person sees them as, almost, foolish. The first bit really reminds me of the way that Mo Ran sometimes compares himself to an aggressive stray dog who almost can’t help but bite anything that gets too close, and the second bit reminds me of when Mo Ran said “Chu Wanning, you truly are a fool. You’re the greatest person in the world, and me? My hands are stained with blood, even death wasn’t merciful”. Mo Ran thinks himself to be a terrible person who’s undeserving of love, yet Chu Wanning loves him anyway.

You believe me like a god,

I destroy you like I am.

　‘You believe me like a god’, Chu Wanning consistently loved and believed in the goodness within Mo Ran almost ‘like a god’ would: unconditionally. ‘I destroy you like I am’, first of all, makes me assume ‘like I am’ means ‘like I am a god’, which reminds me of the fact that Mo Ran gave himself the title of ‘Taxian-jun’, with ‘Taxian’ meaning ‘trampling on immortals’ (iirc) Also, as Taxian-jun he ‘destroys’ (read: humiliates, tortures and, eventually, kills) Chu Fei in his misguided desire to humiliate him to “avenge Shi Mei’s death”. He, like “a god”, destroyed the one who loved and believed in him ‘like a god’.

I’m sorry I’m the one you love,

No one will ever love me like you again.

　As I mentioned earlier, Mo Ran seems to see himself as fundamentally unlovable, and at times thinks Chu Wanning a fool for loving him, so while I don’t necessarily relate this to any specific scene or another, I do think it fits Mo Ran’s mental state. Although, I could possibly see it fitting Mo Ran as the flower’s starting to really take hold, almost preemptively apologising for what he knows will come?

So, when you leave me, I should die.

I deserve it, don’t I?

　Honestly, this kind of reminds me of that scene during the time that Chu Wanning is dead, when Mo Ran is sick and he’s hallucinating that Chu Wanning is there to bring light for him, and he basically begs Chu Wanning not to abandon him, and then eventually says “Shizun, if someday you don’t want me anymore, please just kill me; don’t throw me away. It hurts too much to be discarded again and again. I’d rather die…” (that scene destroyed me). Alternatively, Taxian-jun killing himself because he couldn’t deal with Chu Fei’s death.

I can feel it getting near,

Like flashlights comin’ down the way.

One day, you’ll figure me out,

I’ll meet judgement by the hounds.

　‘One day, you’ll figure me out’, makes me think of Mo Ran realising that, some day, Chu Wanning will have to know about the almost unspeakably horrific things Mo Ran did to him as Taxian-jun in their past lifetime, and ‘I’ll meet judgement by the hounds’ reminds me of Mo Ran admitting to his crimes at the Tianyin Pavilion.

People always gave me love,

Others were never to blame, after all.

　These lines don’t really fit, given the fact that it genuinely wasn’t Mo Ran’s fault that he ended up as Taxian-jun and hurt so many people as a result of that, however, they could potentially fit with Mo Ran’s guilt (even then I’m iffy about it fitting, because Mo Ran acknowledges that it was at least partially the people around him who caused him to end up the way he did).

You believe me like a god,

I betray you like a man.

　Same kind of thing applies from the previous ‘You believe me like a god, I destroy you like I am’. Maybe combined with some ~ Mo Ran-typical self-hatred issues ~

[comicaurora]

So far, has there been any sort of art technique or process you've tried that made you go "that was surprisingly easier/harder than I expected"?

Oh man, yea. So many things. Doing this comic has been a learning experience and a half because of all the textures and effects I have to do, most of which I figure out on the fly because I've either never done them before or I've never done them that many times before.

The first "surprisingly easy" effect I'd never succeeded at before was the scales on the Storm Drake in the interlude after chapter 6:

It's a Droplet particle brush used on two layers, one set to Multiply and the other to Screen. It produces a very easy texturing effect that works on everything from scales to sand to rock, making the surface look like it's catching the light in complicated ways. I used it again in Dainix's desert flashback in chapter 19 to make the sand look like it was catching the light.

I actually used a similar method to draw the background in the arena fight in chapter 12 - using a rounder particle brush, but the same combo of Multiply and Screen to produce a chaotic pattern that gave the illusion of a massive background crowd without making me hand-draw ten thousand tiny people.

This one was an effect that didn't surprise me and that I sadly had very little cause to replicate, but I LOVED the multicolored highlighting effect in Erin's chapter 6 flashback in the heart of the Storm. It ended up being very simple to do and it just looked SO pretty.

Changing the highlighting colors to just the cool-tones for this page just made me like it more.

When we hit Falst's intro arc and I had to draw about a million forested backgrounds, I decided to refine the process I'd used in the first few chapters, because I wasn't happy with those results:

Starting in chapter 8 I tried a lineless style for forested backgrounds, and it worked out better than I'd hoped. Not only did it produce a feeling of depth and shadow, I didn't even need to plug in my drawing tablet to do it - I could literally do these backgrounds with my trackpad and mouse, which was a huge timesave. Combined with a little experimental sunbeam stuff and these forest backgrounds ended up both shockingly simple to make and VERY nice to look at.

I used a similar technique for the soulcrystal in The Collector's lair - stacked Multiply and Add layers with nested rough shading patterns similar to the ones I used for foliage, but with more overlap to produce the effect of chaotically scattering light.

This was another no-drawing-tablet one, and I liked this texture so much that I willingly redrew it for the stinger in chapter 18 rather than copying the texture from the earlier chapter.

In terms of effects that took longer than I anticipated, Dainix's fully-realized Crucible form has been giving me trouble for literally as long as I've conceived of the comic. Drawing fire is already hard enough, but giving that fire a semi-solid, tangible form that was clearly readable as a humanoid figure was a HUGE pain in the ass. The head and arms were easy to design, but what to do with the bottom half was always a struggle, and beyond that I wasn't always sure how opaque to make him - real fire is a semi-translucent light source in constant motion with no clearly delineated edges, and if you draw it in a way that deviates from that too much it can make it feel less like fire. It took a while before I was happy with the color balance on him to make him suitably glowy without losing the internal detailing that made his expression readable.

Similarly time-consuming, working out how to do Vash's "nova mode" took some trial and error. I wanted to make it clearly visually distinct from Paladin light magic and regular fire magic, so I focused on trying to replicate the texture of the surface of a star, with sunspots and flares rather than licks of fire or sharp-edged lightsaber vibes. I'm happy with how it ended up, but if I recall correctly it took upwards of two days just getting all those glowy effects sorted out.

Then drawing the actual starfire blast was an even bigger pain, because again I didn't want it so glowy that it was completely unreadable. To be honest I'm still not sure if it worked.

This is a very recent one, but it took me a while to figure out an effect I was happy for to communicate "this place is really, really dark." I didn't settle on a blanket dusty purple desaturation layer until quite late, to sort of replicate what night vision supposedly looks like for animals that can see decently well in the dark. Lights and darks are preserved, but color isn't so much, and this way I wasn't way-overshadowing everything and making it impossible for US to see. And conveniently the actual effect is quite simple to do - it's just a universally gray layer at 50% opacity set to the "Saturation" combine mode, stacked with a universally dusty purple layer at 70% set to the "Color" combine mode. Very easy to add quickly and copy/paste across different pages.

There's probably more, but yea. Almost all of the "that was surprisingly difficult" effects either get easier with time or I figure out ways to simplify them and make them work in fewer layers. This is the really fun thing about a longform project like this - I keep finding new ways to challenge myself I'd never even thought of before.

[playertwotails]

Okay so I just read the new Sonic IDW issue #56 and there's so much about this issue I love but there are some particular panels I wanna talk about.

Putting it under the cut for spoilers. Also cause it's a long post cause I have thoughts.

SO first off Sonic is just having a bad time this whole arc, dude cannot catch a break lately I swear.

Like poor guy is having the worst week. Stating the obvious, but like he's in so much pain here and idk how many volts Surge just pumped into him but I'm gonna assume it was probably enough to kill anyone who's not Sonic. (Yay for plot armor lol). But seriously he should probably be dead but he's also got like basically over maxed stats in constitution so he can take hits that'd kill others but that doesn't mean it's not gonna hurt like hell.

Also look at Tails he's so worried and tries to dive after him but just wasn't quite fast enough. Plus look how Sonic landed...facing Tails when he first started falling he was face down. Meaning he had turned around mid fall and tried to reach out to grab hold of Tails' hand. The last thing he saw then before getting hit with fuck you levels of volts was Tails' terrified face just above him.

Which also means that Tails just saw all that up close. He was probably hovering just over Sonic based on the panel where he tried to catch him but couldn't do anything to help without also getting hit with Surges electricity too. So Tails more than likely just had to hover there and watch all that happen.

Side note: I also find it very interesting that it was a combination of his biggest fear and Tails' that resulted in this. Like yeah that was the whole point of Surge and Kit, they were made to prey on each of their biggest fears. But the fact that it was only Sonic that took the worst of the hits from the both I feel like says something. And the fact that Tails kept being able to talk down Kit (water) from attacking while Sonic couldn't do the same with Surge (lightning). Idk what but there's something there to look into and think about.

Moving back to the panels though:

When Tails can finally reach Sonic after the bath from hell he is freaking out and concerned. He's scared for Sonic to the point he can't even form a complete sentence just pure panic mode is on. And Sonic, who's in all kinds of pain right now, sees Tails freaking out and being worried about him and immediately makes a joke to try and calm Tails down.

Sonic just ignores how awful he feels to try and reassure his little brother. Cause he knows what Tails just saw and wants/needs him to calm down and Sonic does that the only way he knows how, joking around with Tails.

Now these next panels make me go absolutely feral

Sonic sees Tails get hit on the head from a huge rock and knocked out and his panic protective big brother mode instincts get kicked into overdrive. Sonic is clearly freaking out I mean he's even stuttering with the stress and panic of it all. Aka he is in 'no thoughts just panic and run' mode.

(I'm guessing too that the wisps are way too drained to do anything at all after all that, heck some of them aren't even floating)

Also he's repeating to himself over and over "I've got this". He's just trying so hard to get them all out of there and with Tails, seemingly down for the count, Sonic only has himself to save his little brother, the wisps, and himself. He has to "got this" or they're all done for. So he has to keep reassuring himself that he can save them cause there is no other option and no one else there to help.

To top it all off he's not at 100%, he just had a fight with Metal, then Surge, then some spicy bath water, then about to be Metal again and now he's fighting a collapsing building cause of Kit. He hasn't had a breather in like days now in this arc.

But then the next panels happen:

Look at Sonic's grip in that first panel, he's only got two fingers still griping when he's first grabbed it, barely, with his whole hand. He's about to slip but he's trying to hard to hold on with just those two fingers he's shaking cause he refuses to let anything bad happen to Tails on his watch. (Plus you know also his own life and the wisps, but he would 100% sacrifice himself in a heartbeat if that would do anything to save the rest of them)

Which makes me love Tails' iron grip shooting up and grabbing hold right next to his shaking hand so much. Just like the symbolism of it all just to begin with, Sonic can do a lot of things but when he literally, and figuratively, is losing his grip of the situation Tails has got them. Tails just once again swooping in last second to save Sonic is such a little badass moment, these last few issues have just been feeding Tails fans with good content I swear. They really let Tails keep being the one to save Sonic and show off how much Sonic needs him just as much as Tails need Sonic.

Just that quote from Ian Flynn again "sonic needs tails and that’s a cosmic truth"

Tails reassuring Sonic that "we've got this" is such a sweet moment. After all that panic Sonic just went through trying to save them he gets the reassurance that Tails has his back just as much as he has Tails'.

Also look at Sonic's face when he's looking at Tails he loves his little brother so much.

That little "yeah" he says too really just feels like a loaded statement other than just agreeing with Tails. I think he has that split moment of "what ifs" going through his head when he says that. Like yeah they're safe thanks to the fact Tails woke up. But what if he didn't, Sonic knows he wasn't gonna be able to save them on his own in this situation.

Now Sonic trusts and relies on Tails but in moments of panic when Tails in danger and protective older brother instincts kick in I think Sonic does also forget just how capable Tails is. Not that Sonic thinks less of Tails in any way, that's not what I mean at all, just that he gets to focused on keeping Tails safe he forgets Tails is very capable in pretty much every situation.

These last panels though are so good too:

I think that a combination of everything with this whole situation is why Sonic looks beyond pissed in this panel.

Eggman's old ally tortured, experimented on, and brainwashed a bunch of kids. The same guy that tried to kidnap Tails.

Surge had a mental breakdown and might be dead for all Sonic knows thanks in part to Eggman's machine which gave her a power high and basically overloaded her.

Eggman attacked them the second she was no longer a threat even with a truce that was supposed to last till they were out of there.

Because of that Kit destroys the building with all of them inside and Tails gets knocked out and almost killed right along side Sonic all cause Eggman couldn't keep his end of the bargain.

I think next time Sonic see's Eggman he's not gonna play so nice and quipy like he normally does. This may have been the straw that breaks the camels back with his attitude towards Eggman. Sonic won't kill him but he's not gonna pull punches either from now on.

And Tails looks so concerned after that glare Sonic gave. He knows Sonic better than anyone else and knows how mad he actually is. Even though Sonic is down playing his anger with is words afterwards a bit, seemingly letting it go, Tails knows him well enough to pick up on the fact that Sonic's still angry. And yeah Sonic backs off and leaves but even walking away he looks pissed off. (Tails just looks tired walking away and the wisps look traumatized, bless them they need a nap after being trapped and used like that)

Any way that's just my thoughts on the new issue. Let me know what ya'll think.