#many many thanks to sapphire for creating these gifs for me to use!!!!!

[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

Frostfire

Created two OCs who accidentally ended up being rather...into each other...the brainrot is real. I'll go about posting their profiles once I've fleshed them out, just needed to get the brainrot (and need to headpat them) out

Ren's fingertips brush over his staff tucked away beneath his cloak, reassuring him that his weapon is still there as he and Calix walk down the busy alleyway of Night Plaza. Even after having been here so many times, Ren doesn't feel the slightest bit relaxed walking through anywhere in the Night Plaza. Calix, on the other hand, looks as carefree as ever.

“Come on, come on, don't look so stiff! Take in the sights, the atmosphere, and if anyone tries anything well…we both know what will happen. We're the strongest after all!” Calix grins at him. The other half-Fey's hands are clasped behind his head as he turns backwards to look Ren in the eye.

Ren sighs, “we're on a mission that Dave deemed important enough to send the both of us. Shouldn't you be at least a little bit concerned?”

“Nah, he trusts us to get it done. Might as well enjoy ourselves while we're at it!” Calix laughs, grabbing Ren's wrist. “Come on! Let's check out that new store!”

Ren lets himself be dragged along by the younger half-Fey, remembering a time when Calix was the quietest member of Dave's Justiciars. The half-Fey's face had been clouded in anger, brilliant dark green eyes narrowed as he scowled, declaring he needed no friends when Ren had tried to talk to him and then stormed off to his room. To think that had been Calix only ten years ago, the mere thought brought a smile to Ren's face.

“What are ya smiling about? Share it!” Calix's face is suddenly far too close for Ren's comfort and he takes a step back.

“Come onnnnn! Tell me!” Who knew Calix was actually this energetic, no one could have guessed that the half-Fey who could always be seen heading to the training room by himself late at night was actually like this past his shell.

“Nothing.” Ren waves him off. “Didn't you want to check the new store?”

“Oh right, yes. The new store. This way!” Calix resumes his happy little detour and Ren quietly follows. Dave had given them more time than necessary to complete the mission anyways, a little detour wouldn't hurt anyone.

The new store turns out to be a new weapons store that had just set up shop today. After checking the owner's permit, Ren lets Calix browse to his heart's content while he observes the store owner, watching the way they carefully handle the knives as they explain to Calix how the knife was made.

Calix looks like a child when he fawns over the knife, Ren thinks. Nothing like the broody teenager facade he usually puts up. He's cute when he smiles like that, if only he smiled more often and around more people, then he wouldn't be scaring everyone off. He'd actually have more friends than just me, and it'd benefit him. I wish other people could see how adorable he is when he's —

" —en! Ren!"

"Huh?"

"Weren't ya listening? Ah asked which one ya prefer!" Calix pouts, holding out two knives. Ren looks them over, they're both pretty but the sapphire embedded into the hilt of the one on the right complements Calix's eyes, so he picks that knife.

"I'll take this one then!" He turns to the store owner who thanks him for his purchase and heads to the back of his store.

"Let's go then, Ren! Ah can't wait to try this new toy out!" Calix happily waves his new knife before sheathing it, patting its hilt. "We'll tear through everyone together!"

Together. If you had asked Calix to work with anyone back then, he'd have rejected the work right there and then, asking for another job instead where he could work alone. To think that Calix would casually agree to work with him, heck even ask him to join him for the job, Ren huffs in amusement and follows the overeager half-Fey to the house where their target lives.

Calix follows the map to a run-down house tucked away in the corner of a dark alleyway. Ren gives the perimeter a quick glance, ensuring that there are no threats in the area while Calix knocks on the door.

"Hello, anyone there?" Calix yells impatiently after a few seconds of silence. "Hello?"

"Calix —"

"Hmph, we come all the way here and yet get zero hospitality. Wha kinda client is this person anyways?" Calix pouts. "Why does Dave even need the both of us, can't he just send one of his lackeys? I'd rather be doing anything else!"

Ren's hand shifts to rest on his staff as a chill crawls up his spine. This isn't good in the slightest, his instincts are screaming at him to fight, but there's no enemy in sight. Calix is still angrily rambling at the closed door, seemingly oblivious to the bloodlust in the air but the little twitches of the fingers on his left hand say otherwise.

The signal for look up.

Ren's gaze flicks upwards discreetly, spotting a figure darting across the rooftop of the house next door and inclines his head. Calix scowls at the door and taps the hilt of his new knife three times.

Three enemies spotted.

"We're here on behalf of Mr Dave to discuss some terms with Mr Jakob. You see, Mr Dave would like to sell more drinks of the gods to Mr Jakob, but he is not running a charity. Debts must be paid in full and on time." Ren states calmly, tapping his pant leg another three times.

Six enemies total.

Six enemies are nothing for the duo, they've faced worse odds before and emerged victorious. Ren is confident in their skills, what he's worried about is ensuring Mr Jakob is alive at the end of the fight, especially when a Human answers the door.

The Human has grey mixed in with his dark brown hair, and Ren can see the slight bulges in his jacket pockets where guns most certainly lie. Well, if anything, this should be fun. He hasn't had a real challenge in years.

A quick glance to his right tells him that Calix is also rearing to go, but is waiting patiently for his signal. Ren feels a sense of pride surge through him, the younger half-Fey has come a long way in terms of self-restraint, speaking volumes of how much he has grown.

"Mr Jakob has stated that he will deliver the payment next week. Disturbing his rest for a matter that has already been laid to rest is nothing short of rude." The Human says. "My men will escort you out of the premise."

Calix snorts in response, "more like attempt to escort us tah the next life."

The Human raises an eyebrow, amused and turns to leave, closing the door behind him but one of Calix's knives slots itself into the gap between the door and its hinge, preventing the door from fully closing.

"Hey. We ain't done talking yet." He growls. "Ah have one more question to ask."

"Ask away." The Human doesn't even bother to turn around to face Calix, a fatal mistake.

"How do ya wanna die?" The words come out as a snarl and Ren readies himself for a fight.

"Die? Shouldn't I be —" The Human's words get lodged in his throat, pinned there by a knife with a sapphire embedded hilt and everyone springs into action.

The sound of a gun being fired sounds to Ren's left and he expertly diverts the bullet's trajectory with a simple sweep of his staff before swinging the bottom end outwards, striking the stomach on the enemy approaching him on the right. The goon stumbles back with a grunt of surprise but doesn't get a chance to recover before Calix's knife tears open their throat.

The half-Fey sends Ren a smirk, "two," and darts off to get his third kill. Ren feels the fire of competition roaring in his chest and his next strike splits open the skull of his opponent. He won't lose to Calix, he's the older one and needs to set an example.

Calix, meanwhile, grins as he dodges a bullet, sending a fireball forward before leaping towards the flames, slicing open the forearm of the grunt holding the fired gun with the dagger in his left hand while parrying the wild shortsword strike from the other grunt caught in the flames. The familiar thrill of combat floods through his veins as time begins to slow, allowing him to run his fingers along the flat length of the shortsword and set it alight before stabbing the shortsword's wielder in the ribs. The wielder cries out in pain, a sound that delights Calix's acute hearing and uses what's left of his strength to swing the now flaming shortsword in Calix's direction.

The half-Fey clicks his tongue and tries to move out of the way, but the wielder grabs the hand that is still holding onto the knife tightly and Calix nearly doesn't make it out unscathed, saved by a staff covered in ice.

"You really need to think about the consequences of each move." The staff's owner deadpans, sweeping his staff in an arc to shoot a row of icicles at the other grunt who has switched his gun hand to his uninjured side.

"Haven't died yet." Calix simply grins, ripping his knife out of the body. Ren rolls his eyes and Calix shoots a flameshot in his direction, the flames barely grazing silvery-white hair. It does, however, incinerate the enemy behind, killing him before a single shot can be fired.

"Yet," Ren reminds him as lightning crackles in the sky above.

"Bout time a Mage showed up." Calix twirls his knives. "I'll go get mah new toy back, kill the Mage and come back fast enough to steal ya remaining kill. See ya!"

With that, the far more reckless half-Fey disappears, leaving Ren alone with a spear-wielding Fey.

"How nice of him," Ren quips sarcastically, grip tightening on his staff. Still, it was nice of Calix to let him have the Fey not the Mage. Killing Fey was more his thing than Calix's since he constantly strove to prove that magic wasn't everything to a Fey. Most Fey, heck most half-Fey had more affinity for magic than he did, but as if he was going to let such a measly fact stop him from being the strongest. He'd rise up in the world with his staff wielding skills combined with the little ice magic he had. He'd been training, sparring with Calix, using the scuffles his jobs included as more practice, and now he was far stronger than when he left his tribe. They were the weaklings now, and he would show them all that.

"Come on then, or are you scared of a mere half-Fey?" Ren beckons the Fey forward with his index finger, a smirk decorating his face. The Fey's features twist into one filled with disgust, a look Ren is long used to, and the Fey spits at his feet.

"Your kind sullies our blood with the sickening filth that is Human blood, it's the very reason why our kind has been tainted!" The Fey charges forward, spear tip pointed at Ren who calmly smiles back, gaze as cold as ice.

"Tainted? How exactly, may I ask?" He sidesteps the thrust, feeling the cooling wind on his face and thrusts his own staff at the Fey, who barely manages to lean away from his strike.

"You're the very product of a tainted marriage! I can't stand the sight of your kind!" A powerful gust of wind is shot at Ren but he quickly spins his staff in front of him, feeling the chilly hints of his ice magic crawling up his forearms before sprouting forth to create an ice wall that splits the gust in two, sending each part roaring past him.

Without hesitation, Ren darts forward, ducking beneath a wind slice and brings his staff upwards, aimed right at the Fey's chin. His blue and yellow heterochromatic eyes burn with a cold fury unlike the usual calm and stoic look as he slams his staff as hard as he can into the Fey, sending them stumbling backwards.

Ren had to give the Fey some credit, they still tried to squeeze in an attack with their spear despite being on the back foot but it's not enough. He jumps over the sweeping spear, bringing his staff downwards hard on his opponent's head with a sickening crack. The Fey snarls in pain and fury, blood dripping from the top of their head, dyeing their golden hair crimson but Ren doesn't give them any time to breathe.

His staff is a blur of brown, striking over and over again like a serpent while the Fey struggles to defend, made harder by the blood that drips occasionally into their eyes and when Ren remembers to breathe again, the Fey is lying dead on the floor. His own blood drips steadily onto the stones beneath his feet from a gash in his side.

Struggling to bring his breathing under control once more, Ren tries to blink the world back into focus, the corners of his eyes blurring from hot tears. Shit. He feels his body start to tip forward, his staff unable to support him anymore when a pair of bloody arms catch him.

"Dyin on me already?"

"Not. Yet." Ren pants, fingernails digging into the arm supporting him as he pushes himself upright.

"Sure sounds like it to me." Calix flashes him a cheeky grin, ignoring the throbbing pain in his arm.

"As. If. I'd die. Before you." Ren wipes his forehead, blinking away the remaining tears. "I said I'd outlive you."

"Keep on dreamin." Calix lets Ren lean on his shoulder anyways, guiding the older half-Fey back to The Last Drop. Ren lets his head rest against Calix's, inhaling the familiar scent of ash and blood that Calix exudes after every fight. It's comforting, Calix's warmth, and Ren feels his eyes start to close.

"You're dyin' alright."

"Just…resting…"

"Rest when we get back. Ya fought well." Calix grunts, somewhat reluctantly, but Ren appreciates it all the same.

"About time you recognised that." Ren can't help but laugh despite the pain it brings, his heart soaring when Calix joins in the laughter. His laugh is short and rough, a sweet melody that carries with it a genuineness rarely heard.

Calix quietly slips a hand into Ren's, a small blush forming on the tips of his ears when Ren squeezes his hand. No words need to be exchanged, everything that needs to be said has already been said in the simple gesture.

Now all that's left to do is go home. Together.

[zepskies]

Oh how interesting! Thanks for the tag @deanwinchesterswitch. 💜

I love researching the meanings of names for stories. And that's awesome how that first series spun off into a whole world of stories for you!

That happened with me as well on Break Me Down (Soldier Boy x Reader), now affectionately called the BMD-verse. 😂

A bit more trivia on BMD:

Many of the chapter titles are based off the song "All My Livin Time" by Radio Company. To me, that song encapsulates the vibe and initial story arc of BMD.

Lila, the name of their first child (revealed in Until Morning) is also the name of the heroine in the OFC version I adapted for Ao3, since Tumblr world tends to prefer reader inserts and OCs tend to do better on Ao3.

I didn't intend it at first, but the way the love story develops between Soldier Boy/Ben and the reader is very much Beauty & the Beast-esque. When someone pointed it out to me, I was like, "Oh my God, you're right. That's exactly it!" 😂

I did a fair bit of research into the comics without actually reading it (didn't want to psychologically scar myself lol). I used a particular plot point with Black Noir to "bring him back" in BMD, after his show!canon death in season 3.

I'm a big Smallville fan. I actually watched Jensen there first as a kid before I ever watched SPN much later on in high school. That said, I used a plot point I originally developed for a Clark Kent x OC story in order to create the twist around the use of Soldier Boy's blood as a kind of "antidote" in BMD.

For other non-canon supes I've thrown into BMD or other subsequent stories, I've drawn a lot from my love of DC and MCU shows and characters. Sapphire in the epilogue chapter, for example, was a play on Star Sapphire in the Justice League cartoon/DC world. Slingshot in Calculated Risks was a play off Elongated Man, also from Justice League/DC world.

I'm sure that's way more than you wanted, but there you go! 😆

💜 No pressure tags: @tofics @luci-in-trenchcoats @thoughtslikeaminefield @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @artyandink

@kazsrm67 @kayleighwinchester

Image courtesy of @scoundrels-in-love

Creators: give a “behind the scenes” look at one of your works. This could be things that got removed or changed, the origins of ideas/details, whatever you like!

Fans: share bits of trivia from canon and challenge others to create something based on that trivia - fic, art, or something else!

Alternatively: Share a random piece of trivia floating around in your brain. It doesn’t have to be fandom-related.

Here's a bit of trivia from Run to You.

The name Kasey means – vigilant, watchful, brave – and I think it’s very fitting for her. During the planning stage, Kasey was pregnant, as one of the prompts was, ‘someone is pregnant’.

Initially, the story concept closely followed the plot of the movie Labor Day. However, as things often go when writing, it has evolved into much more. It went from a three-part miniseries to a multi-chapter behemoth, incorporating ideas from The Fugitive and then morphing into what it is now.

So far, it’s been relatively calm for our two lovers. However, their cozy but gossamer bubble is about to be shattered in a way they never saw coming.

Who would like to share?

No pressure tags: @rizlowwritessortof @zepskies @thatonewriter15 @deanbrainrotwritings @kickingitwithkirk

[haesi-perpetuo-in-r2]

I posted 845 times in 2022

That's 845 more posts than 2021!

122 posts created (14%)

723 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fullmusicbard

@sapphire-reblogs-and-rambles

@aromanticduck

@marcylore

@codexcollector

I tagged 605 of my posts in 2022

Only 28% of my posts had no tags

#verba haesis - 90 posts

#aromantic - 53 posts

#aroace - 50 posts

#latin - 47 posts

#tagamemnon - 45 posts

#asexual - 39 posts

#marvel - 36 posts

#asks - 27 posts

#classics - 25 posts

#aos - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#trying to write an epic myself and i'll power through it no matter how long it takes but surely there's an easier way than brute forcing it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The best analogy for aros who like math

Consider ℝ², the real coordinate plane, and ℂ, the complex plane.

Every number in ℂ can be written in the form a + bi, where a and b are elements of ℝ², and i, the imaginary number, is an element of ℂ.

As you can see, elements in the complex plane consist of both real and imaginary parts. But elements in the real plane have only real parts and no complex/imaginary parts.

So, how does this relate to aromanticism?

Let's consider platonic vs romantic attraction. For me and many other aros, we don't experience romantic attraction. And for most allos, they experience both romantic and platonic attraction.

So what if platonic attraction was the real plane and romantic attraction was the complex plane. This would suggest that people in ℝ² experience only platonic attraction but have no grasp of what romantic attraction feels like. This also shows how allos in ℂ experience both platonic and romantic attraction, given how complex numbers contain both real and imaginary parts.

This is probably a massive oversimplification and I know this doesn't account for aplatonic and loveless aros but this analogy really helped me grasp why I don't get romantic attraction.

And so, my username is Latin: haesi perpetuo in ℝ².

Forever stuck in ℝ².

It's not like I'm unhappy about not feeling romantic attraction but I just want to know how most other people feel. It's hard being left in the dark because my brain decided that it didn't want to experience it. But, such is life and this is the start of me accepting who I am.

31 notes - Posted April 2, 2022

#4

TIL the emperor Julian wrote a fanfic satire about previous emperors + Alexander the Great competing in a contest during Saturnalia

It's called The Caesars and he really dunks on Constantine I for doing Christian stuff

31 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

#3

What does “ Amemus non amatorum sed amicorum fiendorum causa” mean

thanks for asking!

it's Latin for 'let us love not for the sake of love but for the sake of being friends'

my aroness is showing

45 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

#2

100% agree. I’ve been translating Taylor Swift lyrics for fun for months now, even writing certamen questions from them!

Nobody wants to learn Latin by reading about masters beating their slaves. Looking at you Cambridge Latin Course.

Students should be introduced to a concept, and then have the creativity to go write their own sentences about whatever appeals to them using said concept.

Creativity in school. What a revolutionary concept.

61 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

daily ‘fuck amatonormativity’ reminder

693 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[joozvoicemail]

Iced Coffee & The Beach | SOHN Hyunwoo

Gif credits to me heh

📌A/N: let’s look forward to the summer!!

Genre: fluff

Word count: ~1,000

====================

Hyunwoo’s frown made him seem like he was dealing with a national crisis; but you knew he was most likely just having troubles figuring out the GPS or the Bluetooth connection.

You knocked lightly on the car window. The knot between his brows was untied when he smiled at your presence. “You’re early,” he took a glance at your hair, “you said you’re doing your hair?”

“My arms hurt from the styling,” you sighed, “this looks good too, right?” you fit yourself into the seat and leaned in to check his phone.

“Yeah, this suits you.” You grinned at his casual yet genuine compliment about your messy wet-hair look. He went back to stare at the display screen, “do you know how this works?”

Soon, you picked a playlist for your spontaneous ride to the beach. The sunlight landed on Hyunwoo’s face, creating more definitions on his profile beneath his black baseball cap. As much as you appreciated his beauty, you had to cover your upper face with your palms once in a while, without making too many movements that would distract him. Yet, as attentive as he was, when he noticed your hide-and-seek with the sunlight, he gave you his sunglasses from the glove compartment.

4pm on a weekday, plus, summer had not yet exactly arrived. The beach was uncrowded – with only a few families around and some people at the sapphire-painted coffee shop, giving some liveliness to the scene.

When Hyunwoo came back from the parking lot, he found you kneeling on the sand, close to the water. He bent down next to you, “What are you doing?”

Your eyes followed when you handed him the americano you got from the coffee shop while waiting for him, “Extra ice.”

Before he held the cup, his mouth reached for the straw and took a big sip. “Ooh, nice.” He relaxed his raised brows and gave you a smile his eyes lined. A drop of sweat streamed down his face from the edge of his cap.

You picked up an orange tulip shell and added it to the little seashell collection next to your heel. “Choose one, I’ll kindly gift it to you.” As you proudly presented your treasures, he lifted the cap brim to take a better look at them.

He always treated your words seriously, even when you were acting childish as your other friends might comment. You could be anything with him, and you could not like that more.

“They’re all pretty,” his index finger tapped on a shell, then flipped over the one next to it.

“Then they’re all yours.” Your hovered your hand over the shells and realized you could not even cover all them all. You used the pinky side of your palm to sweep them to one side; stretched your fingers as much as possible to try again. However, some shells just hate to stay in your fist.

He giggled at your little frustration. You widened your eyes when he grabbed all the shells singlehandedly. “You could’ve just used both hands,” he chuckled again as he locked eyes with you. A sense of numbness began to spread upwards from the back of your heels. You sent him a nose scrunch and stood up with a shell you snatched from his palms. The ice clinking sound from your drink reminded you to take a sip.

“Watch your speed,” he finished his coffee as he got up and reached out a bit so that he could stand by to hold your arm.

“I know I’m a grandma,” you took another sip to finish your drink, “so I have an eye on my blood pressure,” you smirked. Within a few seconds, you already had your empty cup stuffed into the side pocket of your backpack, which now laid next to your unfastened sandals.

The heat from the sand felt like it was not ready to let the sun set. “Watch my speed,” you poked Hyunwoo’s arm and started running in the opposite direction, escaping from the imagined, harmless monster behind you. The breeze brought your hair up behind you. It had been a long time since you had run so freely. You were simply enjoying the sensation of stepping onto the soft yet solid ground, and consciously drawing air into your lungs.

In less than a minute, the monster caught you. You laughed and eventually bent down with your hands on your thighs. As expected, while you were panting heavily, Hyunwoo at most had several short gasps. His grip on your arm was gentle yet firm. You tilted your head to have a sight of this ridiculous scene – a suspect caught by a casual-clothed police officer who was holding a cup of half melted ice. You glanced at him, and you both burst into laughter.

“Why…why do you still have the cup?”

“I didn’t think about that,” he shrugged his shoulders then put the cup on the ground, “are you okay?” You nodded, took a few deep breaths and stood upright. He pulled you close as the sunset covered your back. His palms landed softly on your wing bones; chin next to your ear. Your tiny gasp messed up your breathing pattern again. Your brain could not sense the warmth underneath your feet anymore. The simple reflex brought your arms around him carefully.

“…I wanted to hug you,” his voice sounded more breathy than usual, as if he put a small speaker in your head. His heart was beating against your upper chest. You wonder if he also felt how your hearts were dancing together.

“Have you asked for permission?” you teased. He pulled away, turned his cap backwards and gave you a sour look. Sunsets were beautiful but watching it through his nut-brown eyes was magnificent.

Arms crossed in front of your chest, you asked, “Do you want a one-day pass, or VIP card for unlimited access?”

"Anniversary events?” He raised a single eyebrow; hands on waist. His honeyed skin was glowing.

You nodded with confidence, “Included.”

“VIP it is!” He pecked on your forehead and put his arms around you again. This time, the hug was less careful, more passionate, as if he had found a treasure. Suddenly, without pulling away, he turned with you to change your facing.

You were a little surprised by the shine and this romantic side of him, “What are you doing?”

“Someone needs to watch the bags.”

====================

Thank you for reading. Have a good day, or goodnight🖤

[guigz1-coldwar]

'A better tomorrow' : the epilogue of "Fighting Spirit of a Once Innocent Girl" is out !

"A Better tomorrow"

Chapter Summary : Samantha is finally feeling free two days after the events at Solovetsky in her new home with the others.....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : ~2000

----------------------------------

We.....we did it ! After all these years, Monty was no more. I fullfilled my old promise to kill him after he slaugthered my father in front of me. I killed the monster that were trying to come back as a god and to envelop this world and maybe the Multiverse inside the Dark Aether dimension. We stopped him to use the Purplelight bombs to achieve his goals. By doing that, we have finished the work of Ultimis & Primis : getting rid of Monty once and for all. We won that battle, we did it.....but at what cost ?

Eddie decided to sacrifice himself to kill Monty's soul inside of his body by destroying the Agarthan Device, fatally wounding himself in the process. I did find Eddie back but I never wanted this to happen. I hoped that there were other choices but he.....he knew that this choice was the only one to do. It was so painful to think and to look Eddie leaving slowly his world for a better place as we couldn't do anything to save him even with our powers.

I lost too many friends : Lazar.....Ravenov....and now, I lost Eddie. He was the only friend I had in my childhood in my time in Monty's House. We were playing together, laughing together, thinking of an innocent life but with Monty, w lost our own innocence when my father send us away from the House. Primis...Ultimis, they put their lifes for us to give me & Eddie a better world, away from all of that but nothing worked as intended : I lost Eddie when I arrived in his world and the Dark Aether was infiltrating the world.

At this moment, I knew that I will have to be the one that will fight when I discovered the Dark Aether threat coming when I joined Requiem. Two months ago, the powers I thought to have lost came back, saving me that day in Turkey and it was the resuming of the old fight Primis & Ultimis was leading. Thanksfully, I wasn't alone : Helen...Greta....Yirina.....and Nikolai. They stood up by my side against the Dark Aether, against the Omega Group....against Requiem and we stayed strong on that fight even with everything that happened to us.

After we left Solovetsky behind thanks to Nikolai who created a portal just before the Requiem bombers took the place apart, we were back at Nikolai's House who became our new home to everyone since we had nothing holding us back to leave : Yirina was disawowed by the KGB, Greta was no longer a part of the BND and Requiem after what happened before Cuba as Helen lost her MI6 agent status when we were on our way to Solovetsky. Me.....they were the only people I can count on my life and having them on my side was keeping me well.

I took Eddie's body with us as I didn't want to left him on the island and Nikolai decided to hold a funeral for Eddie. We buried Eddie along with the others and I was holding back my tears during all the funeral, knowing that now, he will be maybe in a better place, probably laughing and talking at that fireplace with the two versions of Dempsey, Takeo and Richtofen and the Ultimis Nikolai. I wish....I wish things were differents but what was done can't be undone....Rest in peace, Eddie !

2 days after the funeral, we installed ourselves in Nikolai's House, ready to live a new life away from the CIA's grasp....from Requiem. I've got the same room we first woke up with Helen and today, Nikolai was able to found an old picture of me & Eddie in our young that I decided to put in the room.

"I wished that things would have been different, Eddie." I said in a low voice, holding the encadred picture in my hands before I put it back on the dresser as Helen was coming inside the room.

"Sammy." She started, slowly walking towards me

"Sapphire." I still looked at the picture as Helen wrapped her arms around me, trying to recomfort me after she saw my sad look.

"It's going to be okay." She whispered next to me, having her eyes on the picture.

"That picture is the only thing where I could see his face." I sniffed before getting my arms around "Where we were both innocent." I added with an little grin

"You will still have him in your heart." She put her hand above it, feeling her lovely touch on my skin "You know that he will watch you from the skies and saying that you're a good woman." She then put her hand on my face "And I'm with you until the end."

"I know you will." I exclaimed before I leaned to give her a kiss on the lips, getting my hands on her face and we started to lose ourselves in our moves until we withdrawed at the same time to catch our breath, still holding each other. "I love you, Helen."

"I love you too, Sam." She smiled before taking my hand in hers "You're coming ? Greta & Yirina is awaiting for us outside." I nodded as she know that I will always stay with her and then, she started to walk with me outside the room to join the others outside in the middle of the night at a fireplace created by Nikolai for us. We go down the stairs and ready to leave the house when Nikolai stepped in from the same room we first met him.

"Samantha." He called me out as Helen opened the door

"Nikolai." I said, surprised by his appearance

"I need to talk to you for just 2 minutes." He looked at Helen, giving her an good look "Don't worry, I will be fast." Helen nodded,

"We're waiting for you." She whispered before giving a quick kiss on the cheek before she fully opened the door and getting out, leaving me with Nikolai, wondering what he want with me.

"Something to talk about ?" I asked before he ordered me to follow him inside the room.

"Yes, about something you could be interested." He closed the door behind me before with his powers, he recreated the Multiverse map in front of me "Do you remember the woman you talked with in the other universe ?" He asked, looking at me

"Mmhm.." I started, thinking around "Yirina Grigoriev, right ?" I said not sure before he nodded.

"When you discover where Monty was, I was finally able to discover about her and the others individuals that are sharing that nickname....'Bell'."  He showed on his face an concerned look "It went bad for everyone of them."

"What do you mean ?" I said, worried

"Taking the example of Yirina Grigoriev, after her mission at Solovetsky...." He took a deep breath "She was disposed off by Adler." He showed me a picture of that exact scene : the two drawing their guns but Adler was more faster, killing her with an bullet in the head.

"No...." I whispered, she didn't deserve that at all....

"It's the same thing for everyone : Adler brought them to that cliff and left them for dead." He added, showing me the same scene but with differents people and still with Adler.

"They didn't deserve that." I exclaimed "They can't be killed like that, that woman, Grigoriev.....she wasn't looking as a monster. Those people too."

"I know." He said, raising an eyebrow

"But we can save them, becoming their hidden protector, help them maybe.....to find their way in." I suggested, causing Nikolai to start thinking, looking at the Multiverse. "As long as we're dealing with the Dark Aether's threat, we can also help those people."

"It could work." Nikolai told, nodding at me "Since we can go back in time and travelling in those universes, it will be possible." He started to check some universes in details "Of course, the events will be changed if those peoples stayed alive but since after Solovetsky, all the universes take a different direction."

"We have to give a chance to those peoples." I repeated, looking at him

"I will check how you and the girls can do it." He looked outside where the fireplace "You should join them, we have all the time in the world to save those peoples and the Dark Aether." He removed everything before walking to open the door back for me "Be with your friends, stay with them." He gave me a friendly tap on my shoulder as I walked out of the room, smiling before he closed the door behind him, leaving him alone.

I breathed a little before I stepped outside of the House to join the girls at the fireplace. All around me, it was getting dark, giving me the feeling like it was like in the Forest and I smiled about it all the way to get to that new fireplace. Greta & Yirina were usually sitting together, an arm behind each other's back.

"Guess who finally arrived !" Greta said, smirking at me as I arrived near Helen.

"Greta....good to see that you didn't lost your sense of humor." I exclaimed, sitting next to Helen, keeping my smile, thinking about the future.

"Thank me for that." Yirina told, getting Greta closer from her

"So, what Nikolai wanted to talk about to you ?" Helen asked to me

"Something that he will talk to all of us tomorrow." I replied before I put my left arm behind her back "A special mission for us, he will tell more but now, it's better that we all getting relaxed."

"After weeks of work, it's sure that relaxing is the only thing we can do now." Greta admitted, making Yirina rolling her eyes lovely to her "Isn't right, Yiri ?"

"Of course, you're right." Yirina said to her before she looked at me "I'm glad to be friends with you, Samantha."

"We all glad to be at your side, Sammy." Helen exclaimed...I was feeling so happy right now, knowing that I'm now surrounded by my very close friends.

"I was thinking..." Greta started "We should have a name for us now." Hearing this caused everyone to look at her with wide eyes, curious "You know....like Primis or Ultimis. What do you think ?"

"Not an bad idea." Helen said before she looked at me "Why not Maxis ?"

"That's my last name and I don't know if....." I stopped myself before looking at her with lovely eyes "We should talk about this to Nikolai tomorrow." I suggested

"Maybe that Maxis is your last name but it can be used as our new group name !" Yirina affirmed.

"We will think about it." I replied to her, taking a breath "Let's just enjoy the moment peacefully and....in calm." I then took Helen in my both arms "We will sure secure a better tomorrow...together !

We then started to enjoy ourselves at the moment, finally feeling a little bit of freedom inside each one of us. I was thinking to everything good that happened inside my life and I was hoping that these types of moments will happen frequently to us. I wanted just to forget the bad things and trying to moving on, working along my friends for the future of the Multiverse....for my future with Helen...

It's sure that our next work will be maybe complicated between preparing ourselves against the return of the Dark Aether at any occasions and saving all those peoples who were killed off by Adler but right now, it's just me...enjoying the place we are now calling Home, feeling more happy to no longer sleep in a safehouse and finally in Helen's arms without anyone to disturb us. I was finally happy to have some sort of a normal life, getting started. I'm sure that I have a fighting spirit inside of me and I will make sure to make it living on....

For an better tomorrow !

-----------------------

This was it ! The endgame !

After 30 chapters, it's time for me to close the book of the reinterpretation of the Cold War Campaign mixed with the Dark Aether story. During 30 chapters, you were able to see how Samantha will get along with the events, replacing 'Bell' as the main character of the story and giving a new view about the events of the Campaign....

I was so happy to share with you, this story with Samantha as the main character. She is so lovely to write on along with Helen Park, 'Bell' and countless of others characters (Greta Keller, Yirina Portnova, etc....). This is the end of this story and Samantha's adventures against Perseus/Monty.

Some surprises will come a day in a sort of one-shot....but I don't tell you more about it...it's a surprise !

Thanks you for all the support you gave me during the writing of the story and I'm impatient to find you again on the other story I'm making at the moment ! Thank you again !

GuiGZ1

[citrus-cactus]

I saw @vidramon do this meme and thought it would be interesting, so here goes!

Five games that shaped me as a gamer, in no particular order, and under the cut to spare your dash!

1. Final Fantasy VII (PlayStation)

I have spent SO many hours playing and replaying FFVII Original that I’m sure I would wince to know the exact amount. It is my gold standard for JRPGs against which all other JRPGs are judged (particularly those that come from SquareEnix). The plot, the characters, the mechanics, the graphics, the soundtrack, the translation flubs... I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH!!! FFIX is a close second in terms of a quality game that I have played multiple times and try to be as completionist as possible, but nothing, NOTHING can hold a candle to The Entire Reason I Wanted a PlayStation and Was Overjoyed the Day My Parents Said We Could Get One. My sister and I also have a LOT of in-jokes from playing it, and fun fact: we legit SCREAMED IN TERROR the first time we fought Jenova because there was a storm going on outside and some VERY well-timed thunder and lightning. You can’t make this stuff up. Everything about it was a formative gaming experience, 10/10 XD

2. Kirby’s Adventure (NES)

The first game I became OBSESSED with beating. I played a lot of Super Mario Bros. 1 & 3 and while I could get far in them, I was not as good as either of my friends who played them and thus never felt the need to beat them by myself (besides, once you’ve experienced the joy of Goomba’s Shoe in SMB3, what even is the point of playing any further? XD). But Kirby... MAN, it was just so fun and approachable and COLORFUL the whole way through. My parents rented it for us first and since the game has save states, I got to start on Stage 6 (out of 7), and it seemed like there were so many secrets and fun things to unlock, even though I don’t think we made it to that stage’s boss fight (MetaKnight, he’ll WRECK YA!) before we had to return it. But we did eventually buy it and play it to 100% several times, and it’s still one of my favorite platformers. The powers are all so fun. UFO IS THE BEST!!!!

3. Sly Cooper 2: Band of Thieves (PS2)

My then-boyfriend, now-husband and I bonded so hard over the whole Sly Cooper series, but SC2 was the best of the bunch: exploring the hub worlds, finding EVERY LAST BOTTLE, helping each other out on the more difficult(/frustrating) levels, picking pockets, earning all the money for upgrades, enjoying PARAGLIDE, loving the dialog (“Greasy-sweet!”), the characters, BENTLEY BEING THE BEST, etc. etc. It’s eight heist movies rolled into one, it improves on the original in every way, the characters are GREAT, it’s just... so great T^T

(image technically from Sly 3, but still IT’S THE GANG!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!)

4. King’s Quest VI (PC)

Another game my sister and I spent HOURS playing and replaying, even though we were never able to figure out the “short” ending :o Long or bust, baby! Technically we played KQ7 first (and I still really like it because WOMEN PROTAGONISTS), but KQ6 is SO!!!!! Good. It’s hilarious, the puzzles aren’t *too* frustrating (we did NOT call the Sierra Help Line for this one, unlike KQ7... aah, bless my mom for that several-dollar phone call), the fact that you GO TO THE UNDERWORLD AT ONE POINT (I felt SO SMART when I solved the Gate’s riddle, lol!). I love the backgrounds, Robby Benson’s voice, the narrator, the duuuuuuumb jokes when you die... even if you hate Sierra’s mentality of “kill the player at every turn and/or let them create unwinnable states for themselves”, KQ6 is still an INCREDIBLY GOOD adventure game that is 100% worth playing, especially if you are into 90′s power ballads (GIRL IN THE TOOOOOOOWER, I’M REEEEEACHING OUT, PLEASE TEEEEELL ME WHAT TO DOOOOO). Thank you, I’ll see myself out ^_^

5. Pokemon X (Nintendo 3DS)

The first Pokemon game I played, and still my favorite! Probably because everything was so NEW. I didn’t understand types! I didn’t understand... well, most of the mechanics that I’m sure everyone else internalized a long time ago and takes for granted. My friend Opallene was witnessing all of my n00bishness and I’m sure I was hilarious! :D But there were outfits! And haircuts! And Pokemon-Amie! AND CLEMONT AND BONNE. AND SKIDDO. It sent me around town getting various mythical Pokemon promo codes and down the path of buying Pokemon game several years in a row (Alpha Sapphire, Let’s Go Pikachu, Sun, Ultra Moon, and Sword, several of which I never finished, oops!). I think I am over it now, but man, playing that first Pokemon game was a POWERFUL experience. I finally understood what I had been missing out on since 1997! NOW I’M JUST LIKE ASH (I am not anything like Ash XD).

The end! Don’t want to tag right now, but feel free to do it if y’wanna!

[noys-boise]

I posted 9 844 times in 2021

1481 posts created (15%)

8363 posts reblogged (85%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.6 posts.

I added 533 tags in 2021

#falsettos my beloved - 211 posts

#mood - 56 posts

#/j - 50 posts

#felix's gender - 49 posts

#felix reblogs cats - 42 posts

#felix the nd relates - 37 posts

#i'm sorry - 25 posts

#ask game - 22 posts

#important - 21 posts

#lams - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#look at me talking about normal people subjects like school and marvel because that's my only socially acceptable interest other than cats

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Guys

...

I might have a crush on hamilton

I'm sorry.

192 notes • Posted 2021-10-20 19:37:10 GMT

#4

I don't know who needs to hear this but if you're a closeted trans man you AREN'T a predator for being in women's spaces, it's not your choice, and you're not invading any space. Don't force yourself to come out in an unsafe environment for feeling guilty. You're valid. I love you. It's okay.

250 notes • Posted 2021-11-03 12:08:27 GMT

#3

Neurodivergent people should always have the right to make a hyperfixation/special interest their "whole personality" as the neurotypicals would say. If a middle aged white man can make football his whole personality than we can do that stuff too.

It's not something we control.

Let us live.

259 notes • Posted 2021-08-28 18:53:04 GMT

#2

Reminder that people can be aro but not ace and it doesn't make us predatory or dangerous, thank you for your time

1425 notes • Posted 2021-09-12 13:56:56 GMT

#1

You are allowed to dislike Steven Universe and She-ra, He owl house, etc. Hell, you're even allowed to dislike Rebecca Sugar, Dana Terrace and Noelle Stevenson.

But there's one thing you're not allowed to take away. That there was a little girl, who was constantly told she'll have to marry a man one day, and she always hated the thought of marriage until she watched Ruby and Sapphire, two girls get married o tv, when she suddenly realized she has a future. And there was a girl who went home crying because her classmates told her only boys can kiss girls when she tried to kiss her female crush, and then saw Catra and Adora kiss onscreen and suddenly felt like her feelings might not be wrong after all. And the little boy who never knew why he didn't want to date girls until he saw Benson tell Kipo he's gay, and altough this little boy wouldn't learn what that means for years, he knew there's this word Benson used and he knew it meant he didn't want to be with Kipo because she's a girl and he wanted to be with Troy because he's a boy and he loved him. And there must have been a girl who never wanted a boyfriend but didn't know girls can have girlfriends until she saw Amity and Luz call each other girlfriends. And don't get me started on the enby kids who didn't exactly understand why Raine Whispers was called they and them but realized they'd love to be called that.

There were so many of these kids. And maybe their parents turned off the tv and yelled at them saying they're being brainwashed by modern cartoons. But it was too late. These kids already saw themselves, and already saw it's not wrong to be themselves.

You can dislike these cartoons but you CANNOT deny that what they did to these kids changed their lives for the better.

Oh and one more thing. These shows aren't being made by cishet creators. There could have been a cishet creator who wanted to create a gay character in a cartoon but it didn't happen because they were told no they just took it. But these creators did not take no for an answer, and the reason they didn't, is because they were those kids, who needed to see these cartoons but did not. And this is another reminder not to compare these cartoons because they aren't enemies, they're helping each other, giving more opportunities to do even more.

Anyways. I was that kid. Steven Universe changed my life and helped me accept who I am.

Embrace queer representation in cartoons-even the ones you don't like- for these kids.

7213 notes • Posted 2021-10-17 10:18:35 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[primroseprime2019]

I posted 3,098 times in 2021

292 posts created (9%)

2806 posts reblogged (91%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 9.6 posts.

I added 349 tags in 2021

#fanfiction - 73 posts

#my ocs - 56 posts

#sky: children of the light - 39 posts

#asks - 37 posts

#self insert - 33 posts

#transformers prime - 27 posts

#how to train your dragon - 27 posts

#my words - 23 posts

#vents - 18 posts

#save the wolves - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 54 characters

#i’ve never tasted beer so i don’t know what it’s like.

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Smaug's Little Sapphire

Val was in a world of darkness. She didn't know how long she was out. Val shifted a bit and felt something tingling on her skin. She opened her eyes to see gold coins. Sitting up, Val rubbed her eyes and looked around. She gasped in shock to see a golden chamber. There was gold everywhere. Val couldn't help but gawk in amazement but then realizes something. Her eyes grew wide when she remembered this chamber in the movie. It was Smaug's Kingdom!

Panicked, Val tried to get up but failed because she was still not fully rested. Then she heard a deep dark chuckle that echoed through the chamber. Val gulped in fear as she looked around the shadowy areas.

"Well, well, well, what do I have here?" Val heard the deep voice of Smaug, "An innocent little girl I have captured."

Val gulped as she tried to calm herself, "I can hear you heartbeat." Smaug said. Val could hear his giant footsteps circling her. "Your breathing is quick. I can sense your fear as well as taste it."

Scared, Val made a run for it before ducking under a stone overhang and stood behind a pillar, "Oh, come now, little girl. I can smell where you are and there is no use of hiding from me." Val could hear him walking past her with a deep chuckle, "You can't hide forever, little girl."

As his footsteps left, Val peeked out from under the pillar to see the cost is clear. She got out and was about to make a run for it but.

SMASH!

Val screamed a little when a giant tail blocks her path, making her fall on her bottom. She heard a deep dark amused chuckle behind her, and she turned around and her sapphire blue eyes widened in fear. Standing tall and mighty was none other than Smaug the Dragon. Backing up against the pillar, Val's eyes grew even wider when Smaug lowered his head so he could see Val's frightened blue eyes.

"Found you." He said with an amused smirk.

Val shivered in fear. She knew that Smaug was a very dangerous and powerful dragon. He could crush her like an insect. Val gulped when Smaug sniffed at her.

"Hmmm," Smaug hummed, "It appears this little girl has a sweet scent." He looked at Val's little form, "Tell me little girl, who are you and where do you come from?"

Gulping, Val took a deep breath. She had to answer Smaug’s questions because if she didn’t, she’d be in a lot of trouble. Val had to thank Quinn for that.

"I…I come from an island called Nublar." Val answered truthfully, even though that was from her world but it was her home.

Smaug hummed in interest, "I've never flown there before." He said, "What is it like?"

"I-it's a very beautiful island, oh great one." Val said respectfully, "There are many tropical trees, warm beaches, and many wild animals."

"I see your island sounds like paradise."

Val nodded, "It is, oh great dragon."

Smaug looked at her again, "Tell me, how did you get here?"

Val looked at him nervously, "Well…I was in a hiding in a cave and then I saw a butterfly and it led me to a colorful glowing stone and when I touched it, the stone send me here." She said. Val could only tell him the few details on how she got here. Otherwise he thought that she was crazy.

"Interesting…" Smaug purred as he laid down on his gold, keeping an eye on Val, "you're a very interesting little girl."

Nodding, Val looked at him. “What is your name, oh great and powerful dragon?" She asked, even though she knew his name, she had to respect the dragon.

"I am Smaug!" he said proudly, "Conqueror of Dale! Taker of Gold! Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities!" he looks down at Val, "And what is your name, child of Nublar?"

Val gulp dand said, "My name is Valentina Rosalina Grady, oh Great Smaug."

"Strange name," Smaug commented.

"I am a very strange girl." Val said, earning an amused dark chuckle from Smaug, "what are you going to do to me, oh great Smaug?"

"For now… nothing," Smaug looked at her on the corner of his eyes, "but we will discuss this tomorrow. You must be tired on your journey after you burn all those Orcs."

‘It's already night?’ Val thought, surprised. She had been out cold that long and she couldn’t help but wonder of Smaug saved her life.

Smaug laid on his gold, keeping one golden eye open, and said, "At the top of the stairs case beside you is a tunnel. There, lies the former King's Chamber. That will be your room whilst you remain here."

Val felt a wave of relief on her and she bowed politely at the great dragon. She always listened to Quinn's advice. Always respect a powerful being. Otherwise, she’d be dead by Smaug's fire and jaws.

"Thank you…oh Smaug the Great Dragon King of the Mountain." She said before going to the tunnels.

Smaug hummed in interest, "Such a title you have bestowed upon me." He purred silently. He watched as Val got to the top of the chamber easily. He felt greedy upon his new treasure. He liked it when Val spoke to him respectfully. He wanted more. More words, more flattery and more of Val's innocence. He had found a perfect gem in his collection and he will do anything to keep her.

Val was laying on a king size bed. It was soft yet hard. She hugged the one big pillow and looked at her raptor claw necklace. Her blue eyes began to water when she remembered her uncle and friends.

She missed them a lot and wish to come home but she remembered Hoskins wanting her to be trained at a military base away from everyone. She wiped her tears away as she sat up before getting out from the big bed. She put on her boots before leaving the room quietly.

She could tell it was still dark because she could barely see but using her sensing powers, she could sense the objects in front of her without touching them. She saw the golden light of the gold and saw Smaug, with his head out, was buried on the pile of gold, sleeping peacefully as he snored quietly. Val tilted her head in curiosity. She never knew that Smaug was a gentle sleeper.

Val walked around and saw some stairs that led to big, glass-less windows. She quietly went up and went over to the windows to see the city. Few were in one piece while others were destroyed. She sat on the sill of the window and looked at the stars.

The stars and moon were shinning down and it made Val safe, even though a very dangerous and powerful fire drake was keeping her here alive, which was confusing to her. Val then wished that her best friend Quinn was here.

Even though she was seven years older than her, Val admired her and followed her like a duckling. Val made a small smile remembering when they were in a gift shop buying a chew toy for Ingrid, a lady mistook them as sisters because Val always followed Quinn a lot. Val and Quinn would laugh at that and would eat ice cream together. She missed that and didn't want to spend the rest of her childhood at military.

She then noticed her pouch. She almost forgot about it. She opened it to reveal her ocarina and small canteen. She took out her ocarina and played a gentle song that echoed through the kingdom and the chamber. Fireflies came over to her and flew around her. Few bats came and hung themselves at the windows ceilings and listened to Val's music.

A gentle breeze came and made the trees shake a bit and the huge lake, where Lake Town was, shined brightly at the moon. Even the chamber full of gold shined brightly. As she finished, she put her ocarina down and looked at it.

‘I wish mommy and daddy were here,’ she thought sadly, wiping her tears away.

Then she felt hot breath on her. That scared the bats away along with the fireflies. Val turned around to meet Smaug who was looking down at her.

"Great Smaug," Val greeted with a respectful nod before getting off the window.

Smaug looked at her, "why are you up this late at night, Valentina?"

Val looked at the floor, "I couldn't sleep, so I decided to play some music." She looked at him, "did it bother you?"

"A little," Smaug said.

Val looked at her ocarina, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll stop playing so you won't be disturbed.”

Smaug shook his head. No, child, I enjoy your peaceful music." He said.

Val looks at him brightly, "you do?"

"Of course," Smaug looked at her, "From now on, you play your flute for me when I say so, understand?"

Val nodded respectfully, "Of course, oh great Smaug." She bowed to him.

Smaug felt a sense of flattery in him and he enjoyed it. He turned around, "Come, Valentina." He walked back to his treasure.

Val followed him downstairs and went to the chamber. As she got there, Smaug buried himself on the gold with his head above the gold. She sat a few feet away from him and lies on the pile of cold gold. She was about to fall asleep until she heard Smaug ask, "why did you run away from your home?"

Val looked at him before sitting up and said, "Because, a man wanted to send me to a faraway place where I could train my powers." She didn't say Hoskins’ name because Smaug might find him and kill him. “If I don't then my powers will hurt someone. I didn't want to because I won't see my friends or family again. I will be all alone and scared. I will be ripped away from the rest of my childhood because of these powers." Val looked at her hands sadly, "I didn't want to carry this burden so I ran away."

Smaug stared at Val. He knew humans care for only power and riches but this girl, Valentina, was different from the rest. She didn't care for his gold, she didn't care for power and she didn't care if he was a dangerous being. All she cared for was being free from fear and anger.

Smaug made a deep rumble on his chest before bringing his tail to Val. Val was surprise when Smaug's tail brought her close to him. Val looked at Smaug, her sapphire eyes meeting his golden eyes.

"You won't be afraid here, Valentina." He purred, "They won't come here to take you away. You won't have to worry about them bringing you to your prison." He brought his head close to Val, "I never want to see you sad, do I make myself clear?"

Val smiled cutely and nodded, "Of course, oh great and powerful Smaug." She said respectfully.

Smaug hummed at her, she knew how to stroke his ego, "Say my name again, child."

"Oh, Smaug the Great and Powerful," Val said with a smile.

"Good," he purred, wrapping his tail around him and Val. He looked at her and ordered, "Sleep."

Nodding, Val let out a cute yawn before sleeping close to Smaug's massive head. Smaug looks at Val's sleeping form. She was so pure and full of innocence. He couldn't believe that someone wanted her to be a weapon at such a young age. He felt his blood boil in anger. That surprise him since he only cared about himself and his treasure but…Valentina was his treasure and will do anything to protect her.

Yawning loudly, Smaug used his tail to pull Val close to him. He wanted to learn more about Val but he will know tomorrow.

"Sleep well…my child." He whispered before going to sleep.

13 notes • Posted 2021-09-30 02:08:05 GMT

#4

Not Easy Being An Omega

I walked out of the den and closed my eyes, loving the feeling of the wind. I looked around and walked over to a large opening. I never really knew where this went but my curiosity got the better of me.

It made me feel better, even as an Omega. I climbed up the slope and looked past the rocks. It was very pretty out there. I smiled, my tail wagging.

Crows flew in the sky and I looked up at them. I flicked my ear and looked over my shoulder just as a grey and white wolf leapt at me.

"Haha! Pinned ya, Paige!" Demetrius said with a grin. I smiled at him. Demetrius was an Omega, like me. There were a few more Omegas than Betas. And I wouldn't say it out loud but I was glad I wasn't alone.

A white and grey wolf came over to us. "You two!" He barked, "get back to the pack's camp. We don't have all day."

Demetrius and I quickly hurried back to camp. I could feel the other wolf's gaze bore into the back of my head but I ignored it.

S

Demetrius and I walked over to the other Omegas. Natalia looked at me and smiled. Natalia was a light brown wolf with black paws.

"Hey, you two," Natalia said. "Hey," I said with a small smile as I sat down beside her and Harry.

"What do you think will happen today?" Omari asked curiously. "Guess we'll just find out," Charlotte said as the Alpha, Peter, hopped up onto the rock. "Today, there will be an annual hunt," Peter said, "some Betas and Omegas will be with me." I felt excitement rush through me. The first annual hunt. Hopefully I could join. Peter looked at Amarys and Destiny, “Destiny, Amarys, you will join.”

The two sisters exchanged grins. Peter looked at me and smiled. I folded my ears back, my tail curling up against my hip. "Paige, Kaitlin, Shiloh, Marley, you will join the hunt," he said.

I smiled happily, my tail beginning to wag. Kaitlin smiled at me. She was the best Beta beside the Alpha. She was the first to take care of me and I did my best to take care of her.

For me, today was going to be a good day.

14 notes • Posted 2021-09-20 20:49:18 GMT

#3

People aren't the understanding type. At least the ones I've encountered. Tracers don't understand that we're not bad kids. Not bad enough to be put in concentration camps anyway. But they don't care. They never have.

These are the thoughts that wander through my mind as I lie awake in the van. Chubby gentle snoring is the only thing I can hear besides my own thoughts. Everyone is asleep except me. I look to my left and see Liam in the driver's seat.

I've always wondered how he got swept into this scary life on the run. He doesn't seem like the type who is running for his life. He's too caring and kind to lose as much as he has. He's too loving and gentle for this horrific life. But he never loses who he is. He doesn't let his pain effect him too much, which is what I like about him. He's the only one who sees me as an angel instead of a horrible teenager with powers. He loves me for who I am and I can't help but love him back.

I reach over and run my hair through his hair lovingly. Liam's beautiful blue eyes are closed- probably dreaming about something nice. I'm about to pull my hand away when I hear a loud snap. The snap of a twig.

My head swivels towards the van window. A beam of light flashes over my passenger side window. I duck, narrowly avoiding the beam. Loud footsteps sound outside the window. I grab Liam's shoulders and shake him violently. His beautiful blue eyes fly open in surprise.

"There's someone outside." I whisper frantically. I prepare my self mentally for a fight. A fight is always the most likely scenario.

Liam nods silently. His eyes look startled, but his body language is calm. He reaches over the drivers seat and grabs his coat.

"Stay here." he whispers to me.

"No way. I'm coming with you." I say annoyed.

Liam shakes his head. "I'm not risking you getting hurt." he says firmly. He opens his door quietly, hands at the ready to use his powers.

I open my door and step out into the cool night air. The beam of light is no where to be seen. I turn in a full circle, my eyes scanning the night. I could have sworn there was someone here. Then a foot collides with mine.

My side throbs as I hit the hard earthy ground. A pained gasp exsacapes my lips. Hands grab my hair and haul me up. My back is to the person, their hands holding me firmly in place. I hate being caught off guard. It makes you vulnerable.

"You'll fetch a fine price." a voice hisses, just as Liam comes into view. He tenses, ready to attack whoever is holding me. Liam flicks his wrist and my attacker goes flying.

I whip around and spot the person getting up with a grunt. I focus on him and his mind. I close my eyes and feel myself enter his mind. It's dark in here. Someone didn't have a good childhood.

"You never saw us. You don't work as a tracer. Now walk away." I command him. My attacker turns around and walks away calmly. I breathe out a sigh of relief.

Liam rushes over to me. He takes my face in between his hands. "Are you okay darlin?" he asks frantically, looking into my eyes.

"I'm okay." I say. Liam pushes me against the van gently.

"Good." he says. He kisses me slowly and I practically melt in his arms. He leans his forehead against mine.

I sigh contently, but I tense. Liam can tell.

"What's wrong?" he says, pulling his gaze from mine and looking around.

I look down. "When will we stop running Liam? When can we just relax without worrying whether people will hunt us like animals?" I ask.

Liam looks thoughtful for a moment. "I don't know the answer to that darlin. But I think we can find a way to change that. I think we can stop running for a little and catch our breath. We can find a way to do it. Together."

I nod. I press my lips to Liam's. He always knows how to make things work. I believe him.

He pulls me to his chest and I let him. I look up at the stars behind Liam's back. The world hasn't been fair to us, but I won't let it get me down. I'll make my own future safe if the world won't give it to us.

18 notes • Posted 2021-07-10 06:05:54 GMT

#2

Today, writers are scorned because of those too unversed to know.

Disdained, because of the those too ignorant to believe.

Despised, because of the realists who are too afraid to dream.

Misunderstood, because others are too unsure to try.

But we, as writers, know them to be wrong.

A writer is a person who dreams.

A writer is a person who wishes.

A writer is a person who escapes.

A writer is a person who lives.

A writer is a person who is not afraid.

A writer is a person who strives.

A person who expresses.

A person who believes.

A person who understands.

A person who knows.

I am a writer.

I dream of a world where anything is possible.

I wish for a world where war is just a myth.

I escape into a world where I can predict the future.

I live in a world of joy and mystery.

I am not afraid of the world I create.

I strive in the world where others give up.

I express myself in ways others dare not try.

I believe in things others are too afraid to trust.

I understand things others cannot, in a way that others cannot.

I know, in ways that others deny.

69 notes • Posted 2021-07-10 05:57:56 GMT

#1

I WANT IT TO BE HALLOWEEN ALREADY!!!

117 notes • Posted 2021-09-01 23:45:28 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[thewriterwithnoplan]

A Diamonds Court (Part 1)

Summary: Y/N L/N is just like Steven Universe. A girl who’s mother gave up her form to create her - a half gem abomination. There’s a small difference between her and Steven though. She and her ragtag team of miscellaneous gems are quite accustom to hurtling through space. Pairing: Steven Universe x Gem!Reader  Word Count: 1654 Warnings: None

First Person

My name is Y/N L/N, and right now my ship is inbound for home-world. Why you may ask? Because at o' eight hundred this morning the diamonds sent out a galactic message. Pink is alive. So before the clock had made its next chime the ship was hurtling for home. Myself and the group of gems I'd befriended sat expectantly inside said ship.

"Where are we Pearl?" I turned to the gem in question with a smile. She was my oldest friend, having served my mother long before she gave up her form to give birth to me.

"Unnervingly close." She shifted her hands in the central control, looking over with unblinking eyes. "We'll be there within the hour."

Sighing I stood from my seat in the captain's pit. On a ship hurtling through space, there's not exactly much one can do besides wait and think. The expressions on the gems faces showed their thoughts clearly enough; everyone was on edge about the impending visit. If I was being honest I wasn't completely sure this was a good idea either. A group of off colours and outlaws going toward home-world? Yeah, not my brightest idea. But there was no turning away from it now. So instead of stewing in my thoughts, I shuffled over to the other gems.

"Anyone want to spar?" I grinned at them. "Tourmaline?"

The fusion snorted and slumped in her chair, "Funny Y/N, let's pick on Paraiba Tourmaline because she's not a warrior. The Peridot and the Sapphire, fusion. Oh haha."

"Oh don't be like that Paraiba!" With a small huff, I turned to Black Opal. "Come on Opal!"

"Reading." She murmured without looking up from her book. Her gem was just visible from above the thick volume.

"Moonstone?" The woman - who's gem sat snuggly over her eyes - opened a hand, a glimmering eye rolled on her palm. "Fine, Rose and I will spar then."

"Oh, you wish." She shook her head, curls bouncing wildly. "In case you haven't noticed, unlike you, my weapon doesn't have a pointy edge."

"Someone dance with me then!" That had Opal placing down her book, Moonstone raised her hand to blink in confusion.

"Y/N we're going to home-world to attend a ball." Rose gave an amused smirk. "Just be patient."

I threw my hands up in exasperation, "A diamond ball! It'll be all, Oh my diamond it's wonderful to be in your presence! Wow so radiant!"

Tourmaline choked out a laugh and stumbled to her feet. Moonstone again rolled her eye but stood, followed by Opal who slammed her book closed with an audible thud. Rose sprung up and out of her seat, floating elegantly down to the ground. I gave a broad toothy smile, joining them on the dance floor.

(Play song)

"Familiar," I sang. "Why is this so familiar? Familiar, like something I used to know. Familiar, staring up at the ceiling. Familiar, I swear that I know this feeling."

We began to spin softly and sway. Tourmaline giving a content smile and hugging herself.

"Familiar, why is this so familiar? Familiar, like something I used to do."

They echoed sweetly, "Used to do."

The ship gave a soft whirling as it clicked into autopilot, Pearl standing to join in. Lights shimmered in various colours as they caught in the different gems. It was indeed oddly familiar.

"I bet she drove them crazy all the time," I hummed. Why was it familiar?

"Crazy all the time," they harmonised.

I surveyed them in thought, "They love her but they're leaving her behind. With more important places they should be. Than hanging out with someone just like me!"

My mother. "Familiar! That's why it's so familiar." We did share the same gem.

"That's why it's so familiar." Pearl warbled.

"Familiar," My mother had given up her form to give birth to me. "Like someone, I used to be!"

Had she danced with the gems before? "Used to be."

"Familiar." It must have been a long, long time ago. Before she'd met my father on earth. Maybe when she lived on home-world? When she and the diamonds had been close. "And once we're all together face to face. I'll show them all the error of their ways!"

"And stop their spread of terror across space!" The gems chorused.

(End Song)

***

"Ready Y/N?" Opal asked, tugging the sleeve of my dress into place. The others had already entered the ballroom. Tourmaline had - much to her displeasure - unfused, entering as peridot and sapphire. Rose had to shapeshift into a simple Quartz to pass under the diamonds' radar. Moonstone had strategically styled her hair to cover the fact her gem was so unfortunately placed.

"Just stay calm," Pearl advised. She would enter with Opal and I. "Your mother was nervous too, you know."

"I doubt it," I toyed with the ends of my hair. "I've heard the stories about her. She was the perfect diplomat. I'm the disgrace half breed warrior."

"Perfect diplomat?" Pearl cracked a smile and gave an un-pearl-like chuckle. She ran a brush carefully through my hair. "Your mother met Tourmaline and encouraged her, she adored Moonstone and saved Rose from the fate of her kind. She didn't shun gems like Opal and I, off colour."

"But you're not off colour." I frowned. "Just a black pearl and a black opal."

"That is why you are like your mother," Opal laid her hand over my chest. "You are like her right here."

"And here," Pearl flattened her hand against my back, just below my gem.

Then they retracted their hands and left the ship with a promise to meet me at the ball. I examined myself in the mirror, a ball gown of darkest black clung to my shoulders, falling down to cover my feet. The dress had a low back, displaying the gem tucked snuggly between my shoulder blades.

I just had to go in there and have a good time.

***

Third Person

Steven sat uncomfortably on his pink throne. Pearl sent him a brief thumbs-up as he continued to greet the many guests. It was completely and utterly, boring. He was regretting the ball already, but if white diamond did indeed show... He could survive a boring party. If only so the corrupt gems might stand a chance.

"Everyone behold!" Yellow Pearl crowed, catching the rooms attention. "The daunting beauty and elegance that is... Yellow Diamond!"

Yellow entered flourishing her arms and sending out a spray of yellow stars across the room. Steven sat up straighter in anticipation. This was it, it had to go perfectly from now on. Yellow diamond took her time walking down the aisle. Surveying the crowd which stood at attention. Their hands crossed in the diamond salute.

"Not a bad turn out pink." Yellow nodded her head in appreciation.

Steven closed his eyes as if he could hide his excitement and nerves with the simple action. He none the less smiled, "I appreciate your attendance, Yellow."

"Ahem," Blue Pearl murmured emotionlessly. "Everyone, prepare yourselves emotionally for the overpowering elegance that is Blue diamond.

"You're doing great," Blue whispered. Steven said his thanks and Blue took the third diamond throne.

"To those in attendance of the era three ball, White Diamond..." White Pearl held that sickening smile. "Has more important things to attend to. Therefore-"

"For the first time in gem history," A black pearl interrupted white, drawing a gasp from the crowd. Nobody attacked, instead they waited with bated breath as the Pearl continued, "A new charming and stylish diamond is here to grace you with her presence."

Another gem stepped to the Pearl's side and smiled as she said, "May we present to you, Black Diamond!"

A gasp rippled across the crowd, Steven himself making a confused noise. He looked to Pearl but her gaze was stuck on the door. He turned his gaze back as the aquamarine gems pulled back the giant curtains. And... the woman was human-sized. No, not a woman but a girl. His age in fact and human, if only in part. If she hadn't been facing away - so that her gem was visible - he might he mistake her for just a simple girl.

The diamonds had gone rigid, even as the room erupted into excited whispers. The girl - Black diamond - began a lazy pace down the carpet toward the thrones. Once she was at the base of Steven's own throne she stopped completely.

Then in a voice, loud enough for everyone to hear she announced, "My name is Y/N L/N, I'm the half-human daughter of Black Diamond. I'm here to introduce my court. This is Black Pearl."

Steven leant forward curiously. He'd never seen a black gem, well, one that wasn't corrupt. By the Pearl's side appeared another black gem, who Y/N pointed to and announced, "This is my good friend Black Opal."

The room stayed silent though, even the whispers had died down as if Y/n's talking had sucked their voices away. Steven wouldn't be surprised if it actually had. From the crowd emerged a glimmering white-blue gem, "Meet Moonstone."

Steven nearly fell out of his seat. The gem was defective. And now that he looked closer Black Opal was off-colour, a rainbow of colours swirling in the black. What sort of diamond court was this? All it was missing was- "And this is Sapphire and Peridot but they prefer Tourmaline."

The two gems advanced and then fused. A defective, an off-colour and a fusion. Then finally she turned to point at Steven, "And finally, this my fellow gems is the last of Pink Diamonds Gems, may I present; Rose Quartz!"

Steven really did fall out of his chair then. And barely caught himself to float down toward the Black Diamond court. Pearl was right behind him, taking two steps at a time.

[kiddoryder]

Tomorrow is the big day. The big day is this the series finale of this show ending.

When I first saw it, this show change my life. I fell in love with the characters like Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Connie etc. They all taught me that you should accepted yourself for who you are and we all have flaws that we should accpet. It also taught me that people can actually change for the better if you give them that chance.

The characters amaze me with all the character development like how Pearl learn to be her own person. Garnet learn to be more opening with her feelings, Amethyst learn to accpet her flaws and Steven learn to take things serisouly and other ways to help people. Even Ruby and Sapphire it’s not so bad being separated and try new things. Heck the Diamonds especially White learn that there’s no such things as perfections and let people be who they are.

The things I love in Steven universe is not only the characters, but the design, the plot, the fusions

And most of all the songs like this one: Independent Together. These songs are so beautiful and it each thought us to be ourself and proud of who we are.

Here Come Thought: Teach me that mediations can help us clear our mind. Also instead of running away from our problems, we should talk about it. It’s okay to feel bad for something you did but you need to be honest on how you feel about it.

We should thank this woman:

Rebecca Sugar, thank you so much for creating an wonderful show that been with us all our life. It help us out with many problems with our life. I’m so proud of you and your team for creating an amazing show and thank you much for everything. Thank you guys for everything. It gonna be a painful goodbye but good things must come to an end because if the show keep on going, it would have gotten boring and stale. Or like Greg Universe said: “If every porkchops were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.”

Thank you for being an amazing and being part of our life: Steven Universe.

[binkysteebnpewter]

Wonderland

A/N: I don’t know if this has been done yet, but yeah. I recently found the song ‘Welcome to Wonderland’ by Anson Seabra because a group came into the hospital singing to us in the Cancer sector, really made my day and so I thought I’d write some fluff while I was feeling good. I’m so sorry for not having wrote anything or posted much in so long, I haven’t had the inspiration to really write because I’ve felt so bad. But here’s this short drabble, and I really hope you like it! Enjoy!☺️💛

Pietro x Reader (We are planning to ignore his death because I know we all know he should’ve survived. Thanks for tuning to my mini ted talk 😗)

Note: His POV

Snickering as Y/N joked with me and Wanda, my eyes never left them as we walked mostly behind the rest of the group. Everyone was walking in a Children’s hospital, visiting to brighten up kids day. Wanda and Y/N wanted to make this trip, and no one had any objections— everyone was pretty happy to do it.

“And the poor little girl screamed when Pietro popped in!” Wanda teases, making me roll my eyes.

Y/N laughed, their smile so beautiful and full of light— making my heart my flutter. Loving them was like loving the moon, beautifully bright yet still soft— wrapped in a cloak of velvety darkness that represented the privacy they loved to bask in. Loving them was all I wanted, all I needed. I loved that they always looked to me just as I looked to them.

I smiled a bit more as I watched them looking over the team, eyes fixated into a room down the hall a ways— their bright smile dropping slowly. I hadn’t spotted what they seen when they rushed past everyone and went into the room to talk with a young boy whose had was shaved. On the plaque on the wall by his room door was his name and right under his name held a poisonous word: Cancer.

As everyone got into the room, the boy seemed a bit happier as Y/N sat on the bed carefully with him— receiving a nod and a please from the boy. Y/N smiled and wriggled their fingers, making the boy look quickly between their hands and face.

“Welcome to Wonderland, we've got it all

Potions and pastries that make you grow tall

Forests and cottages, castles and cards that can talk..” Y/N sings, bursts of glittery light coming from their hands— exciting the little boy as they even made shapes like potion bottles and castles.

Y/N’s ability to use light always amazed a lot of people. While it could be painful and bright, it was always more graceful and pretty to me. It was warm and welcoming to me and many of the team, and especially to the public.

“Welcome to Wonderland, look where you're at

Maddest of hatters, the Cheshire Cat

Magical cabins and lovely white rabbits with clocks..” They made a man with a tall hat of glitter chase a cat with a wide grin— a rabbit with a click bouncing around as well towards a dancing cabin. The little boy poked a few larger specks of light, smiling and giggling as they burst into multiple more flecks— like a dance of glitter and rainbow flecks.

“Dancing through a dream underneath the stars

Laughing 'til the morning comes

Everyone that leaves has a heavy heart, oh, Wonderland I love..

Welcome to Wonderland, I'll be your guide

Holding your hand under sapphire skies

Let's go exploring or we could just go for a walk..” they sing, making a sapphire expanse of light flecks dance around them both.

“ Welcome to Wonderland, where should we go

There's a tea party along down the road

Make an appearance and maybe they'll sing us a song

Dancing through a dream underneath the stars

Laughing 'til the morning comes

Everyone that leaves has a heavy heart oh, Wonderland I love..” They smiled as they watched the boy play and poke the flecks of light they created for him— enjoying the little happy space they’d created for him.

“Nothing around here is quite as it seems

Not sure if anything's real or a dream

And the only thing sure from the start

Is the song that's inside of your heart

Don't let it leave

If this was a dream, then at least I've got

Memories for when morning comes

Now that I must leave with a heavy heart oh, Won-derland

I love..” they finish, creating one more little burst of light specks in a rainbow of colors. The boy smiled and hugged them tightly, and they hugged back— closing their eyes as they smiled. The sight was so otherworldly as the specks of rainbow light fluttered around and down slowly, highlighting the scene for us all.

Oh, Y/N...

I love

[imagine-fanfics]

Prompt: Imagine coming out to Jim Kirk (AOS) as Genderqueer (using both she and they pronouns). Word Count: 843 Warnings:  Author’s Note: @spaceyhufflepuff​ has been requesting so many imagines and I love it! I love the fact that I can drop some knowledge and get out some unknown things to my readers. Some may not know about other gender identities, so I am happy to do these! If you want to know more about being Genderqueer (GQ), go to this link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-sexuality-and-romance/201807/guide-genderqueer-non-binary-and-genderfluid-identity

"Captain, may I speak with you?" The worry in your tone should have been the dead giveaway that the subject matter was sensitive and important. But this was Jim you were talking to. "Sure, no problem, Y/N. Let's talk." He spoke in a hurried manner, walking as he was finishing up his workload. You probably could have picked a different time to talk to him, but the massive amounts of individuals, including Jim, who were referring to you as a certain gender was... unsettling.

He walked with a quickness to his step, and it took everything in you to keep up. Jim usually made time for you, because the two of you were great friends, yet sometimes it felt as though he was blowing you off. As of recently, you made the decision to trust Jim with your identity. You knew, he of all people, would accept you for who you were, not what you identified as. He was the first step onto telling everyone what you truly felt. However, that would come later, when you were ready. More comfortable.

"Jim!" You voice raised, the assertiveness provoked Jim to stop in his tracks and turn to face you. He was now giving you his full attention. "What is it, Y/N?" Worry was present in his tone. You never really raised your voice with him unless it was important, he knew that. Your eyes pierced his sapphire hues, extending your hand and pulling him along with you. He followed, forgetting all about the duties he was trying to get done before his shift was over.

Stepping into the rather secluded area of the agricultural bay on the ship, you halted, swiveling your body so that you were now facing him head on. "There is something that has been bugging me for some time now, and I wanted to talk to you about it." You began, he stood up straight, crossing his arms as he peered at you. "You can tell me anything, Y/N. You know that." He responded, creating a smile that formed on your face.

"I know, which is why I wanted to tell you." You paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath before you just came out and said it. "I'm genderqueer." There was momentary silence as you both just stared at each other. You would have lied if you said it didn't make you a little uncomfortable. "Okay, I got a question for you." Jim finally spoke, allowing you to release the breath you had no idea you were holding in. "What?" You were almost afraid of the question.

"I don't want to come off as rude, but, what is genderqueer?" The question alone made you feel like a weight was lifted off of you. He wasn't disappointed, or mad, that you were what you were; he was curious. "Historically, without giving it a second thought, we assumed that everyone is simply biologically male or female—though we’ve become increasingly aware that not all individuals feel that they are the gender that matches their birth sex." You began to explain to him, the best way that you could.

He had a hand on his chin, and leaned in moreso, signalling that he was actually listening and wanting to know what it meant. "Genderqueers have a gender which is neither male nor female and may identify as both male and female at one time, as different genders at different times, as no gender at all, or dispute the very idea of only two genders." You further explained in a way that he would understand, and hoped he would be satisfied with the answer you provided.

"So, what gender do you identify with?" He wondered, placing a hand over his mouth, his curiosity featured all over his face. A small chuckle escaped your mouth as you shook your head softly. "I identify as she, or they, on some occasions." You admitted, watching his head bump up and down in understanding. "Does everyone know?" He questioned, noting when you shook your head back and forth, an almost sadden look on your face.

"Why don't you tell them? Like you did me?" He had more questions than you thought he would, but you still felt a tremendous weight lift off your shoulders. "I don't know if everyone would understand like you do." You sighed, staring down at the floor with a tint of shame in your eyes. This obviously didn't sit well with the captain at all. A frown formed on his face, and he felt his protectiveness of you boil up inside him.

"Screw those who don't understand. You know what you are, Y/N, and that is all that matters. Those who truly matter will understand and accept you no matter what. Your friends will be there regardless, because you know I am always in your corner." The pure amount of care this man had in him towards those he cared about was breathtaking. You have never felt more proud of the fact that James T. Kirk was your captain. "Thank you, Jim."

[prettieparker86]

We All Have A Hunger

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warning: Dysfunctional relationship, eating disorder, anxiety, depression, adult situations

Gif Credit: @englandsdreaming Thank you for letting me use your beautiful gifs!

Please Read: This is a very dark imagine. Perhaps one of the darkest I’ve ever written. But I’ve always wanted to try and put to words what an eating disorder can be like in all it’s complexities and contradictions. That it’s not about food and body shape. It’s about emotions and unhealthy ways of coping. Also, eating disorders were not well understood back in the 1920′s, which would have made it more confusing to those who saw it happening, but didn’t understand. And in case you’re wondering at the end whether Tommy loved her or not, He did, but he’s broken in his own way too… But that’s a different story. And to his defense, I imagine her didn’t cheat on her constantly. Only every now and then with Lizzie, when the moment took him, and other women when it served him in his business pursuits (think Jessie Eden). Not that that would make it right or ease June’s pain.

Please heed the trigger warnings. There is no shame in not reading this. I’m not even sure anyone will enjoy it. It certainly came from a darker place in my soul, but I wanted to write it. This ones for me, but if you gain something from it, Wonderful! It’s also a one-shot. One and done, that’s it.

And somehow watching this vid and listening to this song one too many times, inspired this madness…

https://vimeo.com/108003855 & https://youtu.be/C7VxXRR8BEI

You come downstairs early in morning in a simple but lovely floral dress that dances and sways around you as you move, your hair curled, make-up finished, graceful and breathtaking - just for him. 

Charlie dangling off your hip as you enter the oversize dining room, making your way to the far end of the table where Thomas sits at the head of it, his face nearly blinded by the morning paper spread out wide in his hands. You take a seat and place Charlie in your lap, kissing at the apples on his plump little cheeks as he giggles and squirms, before Frances comes in from the other room.

“Morning Mrs. Shelby,” She greets your politely. “Shall I bring out your breakfast?”

You eye the endless plates scattered around the table before your husband, all full and untouched as usual, before you glance back up at Frances and smile. Your belly gnaws, but the tea will sooth it.

“Just tea for me, please.”

Something in her eyes saddens with your answer and you have to look away unable to meet her knowing gaze. Your eyes drifting over to Tommy or where his face should be if it weren’t buried in the paper.

“You aren’t hungry, Ma’am?” She inquires further and you can practically hear the thoughts swirling in her head that never leave her lips. You know she means well. Frances is kind, concerned and you appreciate it, but she can’t save you.

You glance up briefly, but never meet her gaze. 

“No, I’m feeling a little under the weather actually.” You lie with a simple shake of your head. Pulling a quick excuse, you’re good at that. Say something often enough and it becomes easier to recite than the truth.

But your answer does stir him as Tommy lowers and folds the paper. Placing it back on the table to look at you as France hurries off to get your tea.

“You’re feeling ill?” He inquires, something close to concern mounting in his guarded eyes.

You love his attention as much as you hate it. Hate the way you still crave it and get excited when it’s earned. You shake your head to reassure your husband, forcing a smile, always pleasant, always kind. Illness would only bring alarm to Tommy’s mind and while it would give you the attention you crave from him, not even you’re that desperate.

“Charlie was up most of night, that’s all. Just a little tired.”

He nods, accepting your answer as his attention turns to the toddler in your lap.

“Did you keep mumma up all night.” Tommy asks, genuinely smiling as he reaches for his son. He used to smile at you like that. His whole face would light up and draw you in like a moth to a flame. The softest part of Tommy reserved for his son these days. Pulling the toddler onto his lap as he quietly plays with him.

Frances returns with your tea as you stare absently the scene before you. The beauty of your little family as you stand at the edge of it all. Like a stranger on the outside looking in…

You met Tommy at the races. You took the bets while Thomas Shelby controlled the Worcester Races, the gambling end of it anyway. He fancied many girls back then, all briefly, taking what he wanted before sending them on their way. So when you caught Mr. Shelby’s eye, you refused to be another notch on his belt. You were an independent woman, you could take care of yourself. And while he was strikingly handsome with the most hypnotic eyes you had ever seen, you had enough moral backbone to resist the temptation. 

Your father and mother were devout Catholics, and you were raised as such in a strict home, where high standards were the expectation. In adulthood, you sought freedom, moving in with your brother and his wife in the city. Helping out with the children and securing a job at Worcester. You wanted to explore freedoms outside the sheltered little world you grew up, but you weren’t about to get mixed up with the likes of a man like Thomas Shelby either. And perhaps that’s why he worked so hard to win you over.

You held your ground as long as you could, but eventually you gave in, after you made him work for it, because you found you were as attracted and intrigued by him as he seemed to be taken with you. To your surprise, Tommy loved your loud laugh and the little songs your like to sing. He loved hearing about your favorite books, hearing about what it was like going up in the country, and he loved taking you out to dance.

The more time you spent with him, the more you found yourself falling for the man behind the myth. Someone who could be kind and gentle, but only with a select few. Who had a thirst for knowledge and unyielding sense of ambition. You admired him and the life he had built for himself. His charisma, his magnetism, he was a like force of nature you couldn’t help but be drawn to and Tommy appeared equally smitten. Your connection felt real and growing fast. You were on fire, but like any raging inferno, sometimes the flames can become so hot they burn themselves out.

When you became pregnant so quickly, you were terrified. You weren’t supposed to sleep with a man out of wedlock, weren’t supposed to bear his child, that was a mortal sin in your home growing up… Let alone with a man like Thomas Shelby. Trying to ease your fears, Tommy told you he “knew a woman”… You knew what that meant. The fear inside you whispered it was for the best. Take care of it before anyone knows what you’ve done. 

But that was an even bigger sin than bearing a child out of wedlock. And that wasn’t even what haunted you the most, you were never as pious as you knew you should be. It was the idea of getting rid of what you created with him. What you made with the man you love, a little you and a little him, growing inside you. Looking into Tommy’s piercing sapphire eyes as tears welled up in your own, you told him you couldn’t do that. And just like that you gave up everything you’d ever known.

The boat began to shift on the rocky seas of your life after the baby. You got the idea from Tommy actually, the man who never eats. It started out simple, after the baby was born. Just to lose a few pounds. Get back to the way you were before. 

All women do it. In one way or another. It was easy enough you found, to just skip a meal, here or there. Your efforts were praised when you bounced back so quickly after the baby. Everyone complimented how beautiful you looked and how easy it seemed for you. But what mattered was Tommy loved it, he thought you looked beautiful and that meant everything in your eyes.

Everything changed after all the Shelby’s got locked up, sent to prison. All the Shelby’s, but Tommy. He changed after that and so did you. Suddenly you found you had no one with his family gone. Your family was ashamed after you got pregnant by the notorious gangster of Birmingham. 

Cutting ties after you married him. The loss was painful like severing an arm or losing your identity, but Tommy and his family welcomed you with open arms and for a time that was more than enough. Until they were gone. And all you had was Tommy and his broken heart. Tommy and all the choices he’d made in his life. The choices he could live with and the ones he didn’t know how.

Tommy always worked long hours. He had more drive any man you’d ever known. Just one of the many things you found yourself drawn to in him, but after the Shelby’s went away, the hours at the work or in his private office at home grew longer and longer. When his family got out, you had hoped things would change, but all that was dashed away as they cut him off as swiftly as your own family had. And as Thomas Shelby’s wife, that meant you and Charlie too.

 It broke your husbands heart and your own to watch him suffer so greatly. To lose sight of himself without the compass of his family. Powerless to change it, though lord knows you tried, but no one was budging. You tried to pull Tommy near, tried to be everything he needed. Love him harder, stronger to fill in the gaps, but the more you pulled, the more he pushed. The more you tried to sparkle in his eyes, the more he slipped away. 

And eventually, you grew tired of the fight. Only so many times someone can turn you away before your heart can’t bare reaching anymore. You knew Tommy could be cold and distant, but you had no idea how worthless and isolated that would make you feel until you were on the receiving end of it.

You spent your days at the Arrow House. Living a life of luxury, you could have never imagined before Thomas. A world with anything your heart could desire and yet, you were completely alone in it. Tommy wasn’t though. You learned that the hard way. When you went to surprise him at his office late in the evening, one of your silly attempts to spark up your marriage. You were a fool… 

Standing in the shadows of the main office, gazing into his private one through the glass windows that lined it, you watched as your husband held his secretary over his desk and fucked her senseless. You don’t know how long you stood there. Blinking – frozen – heart racing so fast you thought you couldn’t breathe as you watched your Thomas fuck Lizzie over his desk. In your mind it felt like forever. In your mind you can still hear the pounding on the desk, the sound of her cries, the grunt of his. You can still see it clearly even today. Only today, you know Lizzie isn’t only the one.

That night ripped open everything that had been building and festering inside you. Every insecurity you had about yourself and your marriage, about your worth. You didn’t know if you were more heart broken or angry. The emotions too intense and unleashed inside you to be pinpointed to a single one. 

You wanted to leave him. Pack your things, take Charlie and go, but where? You had nothing outside of Tommy. No one. You had sacrificed everything for him. You were trapped. Bound and held to the fire of your life. You were screaming at the top of your lungs and not a soul could hear you or cared to listen.

That night you slept in the rocking chair in Charlie’s room beside your young son. And in the morning, when it was time for your family breakfast, you found you couldn’t eat. Sitting beside your husband at the table, picturing him fucking Lizzie over it. 

You belly so tied up in knots, you couldn’t stand the thought of it without wanting to vomit. You could hardly breathe, nerves racing through your veins. Tommy’s eyes scanning over the plate you hadn’t touched. He didn’t speak a word, but the question lingered in his eyes… What’s wrong? Are you alright?

That moment was glorious. Tommy could hold you to the flames, but this - this he couldn’t make you do. That epiphany, that power, sent you tripping into a rabbit hole you’ve been falling down ever since.

You hated the way you loved him. Hated the way you still craved his approval, his attention even as he broke your heart, but now you had an escape and it gave a voice to the hollowness aching inside you. A blinding distraction from the loneliness you felt. Alone most of the day in such a large house, it was easy to choose not to eat. 

It amazed you how easy it became to lie about it too, but then again you had been lying to yourself for far much longer than that. Letting excuses fall like prayers from your lips to maids who were in little position to insist. You eat enough to not rouse suspicion, but you long for the company the feeling of emptiness brings. Ever present, never abandoning you when times are tough. Quite the contrary, it holds steadfast when everyone else is long gone. Promising it’ll never leave you like the rest. Surely there’s a price for its love and commitment, but what love doesn’t?

The emptiness inside you soothes the ache of your heart. It comforts and reassures your heart it isn’t alone in its suffering. The pain of hunger slowly quiet with time too. Your body giving up on sending a message no one was receiving. And the euphoria you felt when you went too long, was the closest thing to real pleasure your heart was feeling. 

Tommy still finds his way to press against you most nights of the week, ravenous for your kiss and the taste of your flesh. As if he can’t get enough, as if he’s gone too long without it. And you give it freely, your body is his for the taking. The honey between your thighs is all his, anyway he wants it, whenever he wants it. Because you still love him and want to be a good wife… Because he’s miles away from you the rest of the time… Because he already took your soul.

The first time you black out and nearly faint, you’re embarrassed of yourself. It’s at a fundraiser with all the social elite of Birmingham. To drum up new business dealings you’d image, but Tommy doesn’t tell you anything about the business these days. Slim and lean, petite and slender was all the rage and no one did it better than you… No one was prettier or happier than Thomas Shelby’s wife. You played the part, a vision with your bubbly laugh and blinding smile, as your silk dress dipped low in the front and skimmed revealingly over your petite body. Your short hair in shiny marcel waves, a sparkling oversize gem hanging from your neck. 

You had too much champagne that night and almost nothing to eat that day. A combination that turned against you as you rose too quickly from your table. Everything went dark as if someone had drawn the curtains in your eyes. You could feel them open as you blinked, but only darkness awaited you. You could hear the party going on around you, the melody of live music, the clatter of dancing feet, as you clutch wildly at the table top trying to stabilize yourself, as your knees buckle and your legs start to give way.

“June,” Tommy sounds frantic in your ears, his voice desperate in a way you haven’t heard before as you feel his strong arms swoop in around you, lifting you up and against him. “Get out of my fuckin way.”

 June – like the summer, though you feel like you haven’t felt the sun in ages.

“Tommy, I can’t see.” You weakly gasp out, frightened as you cling to him, listening to the noise of the party grow fainter as he carries you away, your limbs trembling beyond your control in his arms.

Tommy insists you see doctor even after your vision returns and the shakes stop… After you finally eat. Dehydration the doctor says, because you tell him you feel fine and he can’t find anything wrong with you. Lies, always lies, more familiar to you than the truth these days.

Bed rest is the order and Tommy doesn’t leave your side. Looming over you, clutching your hand, stroking your face, holding you close to him in your bed. Catering to you in a way he hasn’t since you were pregnant with Charlie. You hadn’t realized how badly you missed his affections until you finally got a real taste of them. Even Polly calls to check on you. Refusing to speak to Thomas still, but her voice is like a breath of fresh air. You’ve missed her desperately. 

But all good things must come to an end, and when your bed rest is over and everything returns to the way it was. And the hours alone only seem to feel longer now. As if they echo off the walls, taunting you with everything you have… And everything you don’t. When your insides tremble and your thoughts race, focusing your mind on food and restricting calms the chaos raging inside you. You find feeling empty is the only way you know how to scream. Giving voice to the sound of your heart when it breaks. Comforting you in its consistency when you have nothing left.

You wonder if Tommy notices something is happening when he begins taking you out to dinner more. He’s barely had time for you up to this point, always busy with work, but suddenly he’s taking you out once a week. You wonder if Frances said something, but then Tommy only brings you to restaurants, always the finest, but food is always the focus. It’s hard to keep his attention, he’s preoccupied with business even when you’re out, but now you catch him watching your plate and it isn’t just the help that’s catching onto your little secret. 

But you’re a master at abating the truth by now, so you play the part. Smiling as you ask about work, moving to take a bite before pretending to get distracted by something he says. Sipping away at your drink as you move food around on your plate until it looks messy - devoured because even in his concern, he doesn’t see you… He sees an issue arising, a problem he needs to handle before it gets out of hand.

It’s a weak moment when Tommy shows you his hand. Lying in bed with you, come to claim what’s rightfully his by vow, as he tosses your balled-up slip onto the floor after slipping it off you. Lowering back down over your body, Tommy searches for your eyes, but you only pull him in for a heated kiss. You can’t look into his eyes and not wonder if he looks at other women the same way when he fucks them. It eats you alive, so you stopped looking. 

His mouth trails your body, making your senses come alive, your nerves tingle, always a generous lover. Skilled with his hands and mouth, he loves to make you beg and moan before he ever gives you what you want. And when he’s inside you, buried deep within you - you can almost swear he’s only yours. You can almost convince yourself you know what it’s like to truly be whole and not empty inside. 

The feel of Tommy’s warm mouth wrapping around your flesh, the smooth wet feel of his tongue against you, stroking all the places he knows make you weak, your body responds even when your heart has given up on him. This you can still do, here as he finds a home between your thighs – you can still pretend… as long you don’t open your eyes.

You feel Tommy’s hands seduce all your weak spots, his mouth trailing lazily behind as you arch into his touch and beg for more. But as he reaches your hips, you feel him linger, his thumb running along the outline of your bone. You take special care to ensure you’re not too skinny, never enough to raise any alarms. You’re petite, slender, slim, not sickly. You’re always in control. 

But your body has changed and no one knows that better than Thomas. No one’s gotten a closer view than him. His hand slips down along your thigh as Tommy’s lips replace his previous touch, leaving tender little kisses along the curve of your hipbone as you sigh deeply with the feel of it. He buries his face in the intent of your soft belly, breathing heavily against your skin in a way that leaves tingles running down your spine as you rake your fingers through his hair and hold him close.

“What are you doin’ to yourself, June?” Tommy breathes against you, a quiet desperation on his breath as if he doesn’t understand.

Moving up your body, hands roaming across the bottom outline of your ribcage before his lips pepper your bare skin in fervent kisses. His mouth trails your body, melting you as he goes, until he reaches for your cheek and calls your name, and you echo his back, begging for his kiss that never comes.

“Look at me.” Tommy insists, but you resist, struggling against the intimacy of his request. Struggling to reveal yourself after he’s hurt you so badly, but you can see he isn’t going to let it rest until you do, so you try to guard yourself and relent. Meeting his gaze as he softly strokes your cheek with a callused thumb.

“Why don’t you eat?” He quietly asks, gazing down into the depth of your eyes as he hovers over your body, revealed for him to see. His piercing blues like probes, seeing deep within you even as you try to keep him out.

Tommy’s words feel like a punch to your gut, it nearly knocks the wind out of you as you stare back at him. Why do you fuck other women? Why do you drink all the time and ignore me except in moments like this? Why am I not enough for you? I’m your wife… Your heart breaks as you ponder inescapable truths, tears pooling in your eyes. But you can’t say them aloud, so use to keeping quiet, your tongue has forgotten how to speak the truth.

“If I’m not what you want, don’t trouble yourself.” You spit out, your jaw tight with unspoken venom as you quickly turn away from him. Ashamed of your body and yourself, you slip out from underneath him and roll onto your side, but you don’t get far before Tommy snakes an arm around your waist and drags you back to him.

You fight and struggle against him as his mouth slams into yours. Kissing you so hard you swear he’s trying to resuscitate the life back into you, his hand gripping at your wrists as you fight him. Pinning them down to the bed as his lips move frantically against your own.

“I fuckin want you, June.” Tommy insists against the press of your mouth, trying to make you believe him as you continue to resist. “Only you.”

Angry at him for making you look at the truth. Angry as yourself for letting him. It’s ugly and messy as he pins you beneath him and works his way between your legs once again, trying to convince you with his kiss. But then he says it… I love you.

His voice desperate and real in a way you haven’t heard from Tommy in so long you instantly stop fighting him. His heavy breath fans your face, his eyes barreling into yours as he says it again and pushes inside you. You feel so fucking weak, because this is the place where you can almost believe he’s yours, saying the words you’re so desperate to hear him say and it only takes a few moments before you’re kissing him back. Fervently, desperately, as he fucks you as if it’ll fix whatever’s broken inside. You wrap your legs around him, frantically pulling him as close as you can get as you beg him not to stop as if you believe it too… 

But it doesn’t fix you, no matter how hard he fucks you, no matter how many times he makes you cum. In the morning, everything always goes back to the way it was… You’re alone in your mansion that feels like a prison slowly chipping away at your mind.

But you have Charlie. You’re precious Charlie. The best of both you and Tommy. Your compass when lost at sea. You find joy in all his tiny triumphs. Watching him grow and learn is the highlight of your life. One you feel blessed to have. To be his mother. A mother. But some days you even feel like a failure at that too, because you’re too sad to get out of bed. Too weak to run after him, to play too long with him, because your body is slowly dying like your heart.

 It’s times like that you want to stop destroying yourself, but you can’t. It’s all you have left to hold onto. The only way you can cope. And you fear one day Charlie will find you as disappointing as his father does. Because Tommy may praise you when you play the good wife, but you’re just a ghost in his life the rest of the time.

You tell yourself you’re fine, even when you feel weak. Even though you know you’re not. Because there’s a hole inside you that nothing can fill.

You finally get the courage to leave when you find out your pregnant with your second child. Your last desperate attempt at self-preservation. For the sake of your children you have to try to find the sunlight in June once again. Tommy’s been dropping not so subtle hints for months he wants another baby, and he’s been coming inside you for twice as long. Only thing he seems to have left to give you is empty promises and his seed. But your flow hasn’t come regularly for some time. And you’ve learned missing a month doesn’t necessarily mean anything… But this time it did.

The final blow comes when you call Tommy’s office late in that evening to see when he’ll be home to tell him the news and Lizzie answers. She’s nice to you, she’s always nice to you and as far as you can tell you still doesn’t know that you know. But you hang up before you can say anything.

Then you call Polly instead. You haven’t spoken to her in months, not since you got sick. But when you ask if you and Charlie can come stay with her for a bit, she doesn’t hesitate. You pack up what you can fit in a small suitcase and have the driver take you to her house. It’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done, leaving him. Far harder than pushing away that plate. Far harder than watching yourself waste away to save your marriage as you suffer in silence. Far harder than crushing your soul to stand by his side. 

But you can’t do it anymore. The things you’re doing to yourself could harm the baby and you can’t risk that. Not for Tommy. Not for anyone. Your babies are all you have in this world. The only light in a sea of darkness. And you know if you stay you won’t stop. Your marriage with Tommy is too toxic to bring another child into. This was the only choice you have left.

You look back as the car drives away and think of the letter you left him on the bed. Hoping he’ll understand…

Tommy,

I know about all of it. Everything you want me to and everything you don’t. I love you and I probably always will, but I can’t stay and survive any longer. Please try to understand this is what I must do for our children.

Perhaps in another life…

June