#man would probably be a whole lot less traumatized

[galaxythedragonshifter]

Ok, I don't think anyone's done this yet, but imagine: Spiderverse!Herobrine feat.Rookie!Y/N

He's basically like my usual Herobrine is, but a Spider-man

Also again, spoilers for those who have not watched Across the Spiderverse

His Spidey suit would of course have the Iconic Spidey eyes, but glowy, and the main colors would be blue (same as his shirt), Indigo, and white (ofc with black accents). (Also angy Spidey eyes mood)

He's in the usual same style of animation that Miles, Peter B parker, and Gwen are. (Same with Y/N's) His framerate also changes. (24 fps for the default, 12 for fight scenes)

He'd be the mentor that ends up a tired exasperated father figure for teenage Y/N. (Think of a Tony Stark and Peter Parker dynamic)

He will deny the claim that he thinks of Y/N as his child, but he does, 100%. (Denial is a river in Egypt Hero).

Especially because Y/Ns bio father figure isn't really there. (He's kinda there, but he's not really that good. Idk)

Crossed arms and annoyed, Spidey, squinty eyes are pretty common.

His powers would consist of the same things Miles Morales can do (including invisibility), with added teleportation with a "cool down". (He leaves a blue trail behind when he teleports in 12fps, but it fades almost instantly)

He's been a spiderman for a long while. So naturally, he's the mentor and Y/N needs to do what he says. (Does Y/N do this? No. No, they don't.)

Him and Miguel Spiderman were at odds. Brine was always a lone wolf, "I wanna do my thing", kinda guy, and we all know that Miguel hates when people don't conform to the "canon".

Herobrine doesn't believe all the "canon" nonsense. He knows it's illogical, and multiple universes should have collapsed in that case. He tried explaining this to Miguel, with no luck.

Hero barely holds in a snort when he finds out a literal kid (Miles) has tricked Miguel. It's hilarious to him akjdhd.

"A STUPID ASS KID BEAT ME. HES GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING!" "A kid?" *Barely keeping in a laugh* "Are you LAUGHING AT ME?!"

I can imagine Y/N would be (enthusiastically) introducing new slang and phrases to Hero that Herobrine never bothered learning.

Y/N casually rambling while trying to catch a villain with Herobrine.

"Can you not do this right now?"

Should I make Hero the "Uncle Ben" or no? (Probably nahhh. It's better to make him lose someone, and that impacts his overprotectivness with Y/N)

Man is again, bilingual (English and Swedish). He comes from Sweden, but has a northern United States accent, considering it's where he spent most of his formative years.

His age is 34 in this AU.

*rolls eyes with a sigh* "Miguel, your logic is not making any sense."

He also consistently has these expressions all the time: (I.e: "Bish, imma strangle you.")

Man is the only one more intimidating than Miguel.

He has a "tired dad mode". This only ever happens when he's been awake for more than two days and has no more energy and is running off of coffee and regret.

*tired dad mode* "Y/N, what trouble did you get into now?" "I can explain-"

Overprotective fr

Messy hair all the time, gets worse in tired dad mode.

Aroace (reason No. 1 he doesn't follow the canon, and is probably the first anomaly in actuality)

Identity is kinda a secret. Like, he's Herobrine ofc, but he doesn't like citizens seeing him in everyday attire. Cause his glowy eyes. (Kinda would reveal his identity instantly anyways if we're gonna be honest.)

No Spider name. People just call him "Herobrine".

I might do a second part if I can think of more, or if it's requested enough skhdydh

[moondirti]

big fan of the headcanon that simon riley is hard to get.

if we're being realistic, he's probably gotten very good at ignoring any inclination he might have towards a person in the years since his families' murder. it's easier to function as a soldier, as ghost, when he doesn't have to carry the burden of concern for someone so vulnerable. whether it's worrying about their safety while he's on deployment and can't afford to, or otherwise repressing his darker tendencies in an effort not to break them; the extra effort just isn't worth it to him. he won't seek you out, he won't take care of you, he won't reassure and coddle and communicate.

and he's not blind, nor is he passionless. he can appreciate a pretty face when one happens to pass by, but that's pretty much the extent of it. he's gotten used to the scorch of the lonely flame that flickers inside of him. if anything, he thinks putting it out and tending to the burns left in its wake would be a more traumatic ordeal than just letting it consume him.

so for him to accept love, it'd have to sneak up on him.

it happens with johnny first. he's the natural candidate, of course. his stubborn subordinate, clever with a fixated loyalty and quick wit – who better than him to get under ghost's skin?

granted, he isn't as guarded around him as he would've been with a civilian. not as cold upon introduction because he doesn't need to be. soap's a soldier, and this is work, and he's confident enough in the sergeant's resilience that it doesn't hinder his routine. he doesn't have to make accommodations, bend backwards or wake up in a cold sweat concerned about the man's wellbeing; not at first, anyway. and such are the floodgates that allow him to embrace johnny's company.

jokes crackled over comms. sitting next to each other on the airlifter. claps on the back after a successful operation. trust in every decision he chooses to take, regardless of whether or not he agrees. he thinks about johnny's eyes, johnny's smile, johnny's fierce little pout and the scar on his chin – but everything in moderation. the perfectly healthy amount. passing appreciation of his best mate's features and nothing more. it's the only meaningful connection he's had in years, and so what if he tugs his cock to the thought of it? people have cum to less.

until the bastard gets himself shot in the liver on solo reconnaissance in cyprus, and almost dies on medevac.

because when ghost gets that call from price – soap's hurt. it's looking grim. – he's wracked with a terror so acute he thinks his heart has given up on him. it's about the worst way to find out that he considers johnny as more than a friend. this sheer desperation, longing, regret. he ponders over it in the plane, tries to scrub the dread from his being. tries to pick apart what went wrong, what makes the sergeant so special.

by the time he reaches the hospital, he's already accepted defeat. all it takes is one look at johnny in his hospital bed – features peaceful, bandages wrapped around his bare chest, mohawk and facial hair grown out – to understand that this isn't going away anytime soon. he'll just have to make his peace with it. readjust to accommodate the protective flare already sparking in his chest.

it's a hassle, but manageable. despite his injury, johnny's still a competent man. they already know how to function in bouts of high stress. they're good– great friends. all this is really is an opportunity for simon to finally dig his cock within an ass he's been eyeing for months – or at least, that's the rationale he uses to come to terms.

and then you arrive. and things get a whole lot more complicated.

johnny's bird, apparently – gaz whispers to him outside of the inpatient room, watching through the window as you fret over the comatose man's pillows – didn' know he had one. m'surprised. you'd think a loudmouth like him would let the world know. she's cute too. really, ghost, did you have any idea?

he can't find it in him to respond, opting instead to march back into the room. you're fussing too much, causing a scene, no doubt disturbing the air with the nervous energy radiating off you in waves.

"he isn' supposed to be elevated like tha'," simon scolds, inflating a bit when you straighten up, eyes blowing wide with distress.

"oh... i just thought- he gets all hot when he lays on his back like this. i wanted him to be comfortable."

he knows that he's being cruel. you've done absolutely nothing to deserve the harsh glare he shoots your way, nor should you be expected to handle it. your eyes are red-rimmed, puffy like you've been crying on the way over. no doubt unused to crises like this one. he should be a help, not another source of stress.

besides. johnny's your boyfriend, not his. he has no reason to be so territorial. he'd only just discovered his feelings eight hours ago.

but–

"are you a doctor?"

"n-no."

"then it's best you keep your opinion to yourself."

he just can't help himself.

over the next week, ghost treats you with nothing more than cold disregard. he side-eyes you when you cry, wakes you up with rough pokes to your shoulder once visiting hours close, and takes every chance to one-up you when it comes down to who knows johnny better. you've got a leg up in the domestic department, but simon knows that nothing can surpass the borderline psychic bond they've built, and he makes sure to emphasise it whenever he can. and fuck, does it annoy him that you take it with grace every time, nodding receptively as though his input is meant to be more than just a searing critique of your shortcomings.

his behaviour doesn't go unnoticed, either. gaz is infinitely perplexed to see that the usually controlled lieutenant is so quick to lose his temper around you, despite your earnest efforts to not be a nuisance, and all price offers are long, disapproving looks that have him itch uncomfortably in his seat.

on the other hand, you must believe that he's just like that – foul mouthed, disparaging, mean – because you don't take it to heart. you remain pleasant, gentle, if not a little bit emotional. never once do you raise your voice at him, or fight back when he extends a particularly hurtful comment. on the occasion that his attitude grows to be too much for you, all you do is slip on a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and spread out your textbooks to spend the evening studying on the other side of the room. not keen on making amends, or discovering the source of simon's malcontent, but not affected by it either. you're peaceful. conflict averse. a good girl.

then, you come back one day with a tupperware of cookies.

"i made them myself last night. couldn't sleep, so..." you shrug, holding it out towards him. he assesses them, assesses you, roving over your chapped lips and hollow under-eyes. when did you get to look so defeated?

"no." he looks away, back to the unconscious man in front of him. in his periphery, your shoulders deflate, and he doesn't know what compels him to add the quiet "thanks."

"you've been here every hour of every day. i don't think i've seen you eat. um–" you dodge his gaze when it shoots to you. you've never tried to hold a conversation before now, have always accepted his gruff responses as an indication to leave him alone. he wonders why you can't catch the hint now. "just- let me know if you change your mind. they're shortbread."

and that's the end of it. at least until an hour later:

you're sitting on your armchair, directly across the bed from him, staring blankly at johnny when you speak up. "lieutenant?"

ghost doesn't remember introducing himself to you. he doesn't respond, but clenches his jaw to let you know he's listening.

"he's been comatose for a while." you warble. meaningless chatter. he sees it for what it is: talking so you don't cry. seeking reassurance in someone who knows how these things go.

"hm."

"is this how it usually-"

"sometimes."

"oh."

"he'll be alright." simon adds. more for himself than for you, but your lip wobbles like it's exactly what you needed to hear.

a few moments later, you speak up again.

"he holds you in such high regard, y'know."

he didn't. his heart aches as he follows the rise and fall of johnny's chest, finds solace in it, calming himself before he rips the hair from his skull. he can't speak, can't muster a rude dismissal, or any hatred for you. not anymore. this hospital has sucked the soul from him, as it seems to have done with you.

"he'll be happy to know you've stuck to his side." you smile, stirring from your seat and slinging your bag over your shoulder. "i have to go, got an exam tomorrow. i'll leave the cookies here in case you crave one."

you're halfway out when simon replies. "good luck."

and he's on his third cookie when johnny finally wakes. by then, he's already made up his mind. it's revelation he comes to much faster than the first.

if he can't have just johnny, he'll take you both.

[justagalwhowrites]

Oral Fixation - A TLOU One Shot

It's your boyfriend Joel's birthday but what do you give the man who has given you so much? AKA You learn how to give Joel a blow job. A one-shot set in the Lavender universe.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader from Lavender

CW: Oral sex, mild age gap (Joel is turning 33, reader is 21 almost 22), mild description of past sexual encounter involving oral sex that wasn't the best, Joel is almost disturbingly happy because he hasn't been traumatized yet RIP trauma-free Joel, unprotected P in V sex, no use of Y/N, 18+ only minors DNI

Length: 4.5k

A/N: The final part of the Joel Miller Birthday Celebration! Can be read as a stand alone fic with the understanding that reader is Sarah's nanny and has been seeing Joel for about six months.

Masterlist | Lavender Masterlist | AO3

September, 2000

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” you said, all but clinging to Cassie’s arm as the two of you made your way through the adult store. You weren’t sure what you’d been expecting but it wasn’t this, neon colored silicone penises and intimidatingly tiny scraps of lace everywhere you looked. 

“And I can’t believe you don’t own a vibrator,” Cassie said, rolling her eyes. “Don’t be such a prude, with the way you and the DILF go at it I’m pretty sure you’ve had more sex than I have at this point.” 

Your cheeks got hot but… she was probably right. You and Joel had sex a LOT. So much that it was hard to believe that, just six months earlier, you’d still been a virgin. Sure, you doubted that sex with anyone else was even half as good as it was with Joel but it felt like you’d been denying yourself a whole world of good things because you’d been reluctant to make that leap for so long. Now, you wanted to make up for lost time, something that Joel was happy to oblige. 

But, because you were so new to it, you didn’t really know much and, what’s worse, you didn’t know what you didn’t know. 

Which is why you’d turned to Cassie in the first place. Joel’s birthday was coming up and you’d drawn a complete blank on what to get the man. You’d never gotten anyone a birthday gift who wasn’t your grandmother or your friend. What the hell did you get a boyfriend? What the hell did you get a man? 

“You, naked, ready to recreate the filthiest porn the guy’s got,” Cassie said, not even looking up from the latest issue of Cosmo as she did. “And, because it’s you, bake him a cake or something. He’ll be thrilled.” 

“I don’t know that Joel watches porn,” you crinkled your nose. That made her look up. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She asked, incredulous. “Babes. He’s a man. Of course he watches porn.” 

“I’m sure he would if things were different,” you said. “But he has a kid at home, we have to fight for privacy, I don’t think he’s exactly sitting down and putting on some…” 

“He is,” she said, closing the magazine now. “I promise you, he is. Maybe less now that you’re in the picture but he definitely is. Stashed under his bed or in some shoebox at the back of his closet is a pile of all his dirtiest fantasies and all you have to do is gift wrap yourself, ready to fulfill them.” 

So you might have done some snooping the next time you were at Joel’s before he got home from work. 

Maybe. 

Just a little. 

And yeah, Cassie might have been right. There might have been a box - one a bit bigger than a shoebox but not much bigger - that had tapes and magazines inside. You took a quick inventory, looking at the covers of the videos and flipping through the pages of the more well-worn magazines. 

It seemed both invasive and oddly impersonal, rifling through something that was mass produced and clearly not intended for you to see but was something that it seemed like you should know. The women in the magazines and on the covers of the tapes were so much more… everything than you were. More sexy, more confident, more knowledgable. It made your stomach twist. 

Was this what Joel really wanted? He was older than you and you’d been a late bloomer in the romance department. Of course he had more experience but he’d never made it sound like anything was missing from your sex life. But maybe he was just being nice. Maybe what he really wanted was something more like whatever someone named Candy was doing on the back of this VHS sleeve. 

It seemed like the least you could do for Joel was find a way to give him what he wanted.

So Cassie had convinced you to come to this store to figure out something to do for him for his birthday. Not that you had much idea what that would be. 

“What’s his favorite color?” She asked, examining the tiny scraps of lace. 

“Forest green?” You asked more than answered, examining something that you were pretty sure was a bra but seemed to be missing some key components. You were about to move on to something else when one of the movies playing on the opposite wall caught your eye. It was one of the actresses from the tapes at Joel’s, you recognized her. She was looking hungrily at a cock before taking it into her mouth, eyes closed in bliss with a satisfied groan. 

Cassie noticed where you were staring and joined you, smirking a little. 

“Like watching someone get their dick sucked, eh?” She teased, elbowing you lightly. 

You glared at her. 

“I just…” You looked back at the screen. “I think Joel has that video.” 

“Really?” She said, brows raised, looking back at the screen as the woman started to slide up and down the thick cock. “Well, that’s simple enough. Just blow him, wham bam thank you ma’am, you’re set.” 

“I don’t…” 

“Oh don’t tell me you suck him off too much as it is,” she said. “Your sex life is already insufferably perfect.” 

“No,” you said, defensive, your cheeks getting hot. “I just…” 

“Just what?” She asked when you stayed quiet a bit too long. 

“I’ve never… done that,” you said, looking back at the screen as the woman there hollowed out her cheeks and moaned. 

“What!” Cassie yelped and you shushed her as the other people in the store turned to stare. “You’ve never…” 

“Not with Joel,” you said quickly. “I did once with a guy but it didn’t go great and I really didn’t like it and honestly I think Joel might be too big to…” 

“Too big?” She grabbed your arm, her eyes wide. “Babes, you said he was big but like… what do you mean too big? Gimme a ballpark, like…” she tugged you over to a wall of remarkably life-like dildos and pointed to one on the larger end. “That big?” 

“No,” you said and she looked relieved for a moment before you pointed to one that was even bigger. “More like that one.” 

Cassie’s jaw dropped, looking between you and the silicone dick in awe. 

“That’s what the DILF is packing?” 

“Can you please not call him that?” 

“You big slut!” She was practically beaming. “Taking that for your first time? You deserve a medal!”

“Can we just…” 

“That’s it, you’re sucking his dick for his birthday,” she said, grabbing flavored lube, throat numbing spray and a copy of the tape that was playing overhead. “As often as he apparently goes down on you? Seems like the least you can do is return the favor as he turns… what, 47?” 

You glared at her and she smirked at you. 

“33,” you said. 

“And you don’t want me to call him a DILF,” she said, grabbing a surprisingly conservative set of lingerie and a small vibrator on her way to the counter. “Come on, we’ll turn you into an oral champ before you know it!”

You watched the video with Cassie that night after you had half a bottle of cheap wine in your system. The woman on screen seemed so… into it. The one time you’d gone down on someone was the summer before you left for college, going out with a boy you met at the movie theater when you took the kids you were babysitting there to see Hercules. He was cute, nice, didn’t carry the baggage a lot of the boys you’d gone to high school with did. On your fourth date, you were making out in his car and he’d nudged your head down lower and lower until it was in his lap. He pulled his cock out and you cautiously, hesitantly, took him in your mouth and you did try to do what you thought he wanted while taking it slow. But it didn’t take long before he was moaning and thrusting up into your mouth and you gagged as he pushed your head down further on his dick. You’d all but ripped yourself away, coughing and sputtering, and he half heartedly apologized before trying to push your head to his lap again. You didn’t go for it that time and he took you home. You didn’t go out with him again, deciding to write off men until you were away at college and hopefully meeting one who was fine with you doing things like not sucking their dick. 

Which, Joel was. Or seemed to be, anyway. But if he enjoyed it - if it felt like it was something that was missing from your sex life - you wanted to give it to him. He’d given you so much, you wanted to give him everything. You just needed to figure out how to do it. 

After you giggled your way through the video the first time, you started it again as Cassie gave you some tips: How to breathe through your nose, how to swallow around your gag reflex, how to use your tongue, how guys liked when you choked on it a little. It felt almost like you were in class, taking notes on a piece of scratch paper you mentally vowed to set on fire after you practiced a little with a cucumber so no one had to know that you needed someone to teach you this stuff, stuff that seemed like it should come naturally to you. 

“Just use the throat spray, use the lube and breathe through your nose,” she said when she left to go home the next morning. “You’ll have him eating out of your hand.” 

“Right,” you said, trying to ignore the tight knot of nerves that had settled in your stomach. “I can do it.” 

You carefully selected a Joel-sized cucumber at the grocery store and tried to not feel like an idiot as you followed Cassie’s advice as you practiced leading into Joel’s birthday. It wasn’t as bad when there wasn’t someone shoving your head down on their lap though it still wasn’t your favorite thing. But for Joel? You’d deal. 

The day you were going to celebrate his birthday, the reality of it set in. If there was one thing you were an expert in by now, it was your boyfriend’s cock and your boyfriend’s cock was… big. What if the throat spray didn’t work as well when you weren’t the one in control of what was going in your mouth? Worse, what if you were just bad at it? What if he had an ex who was as good at sucking him off as that porn star would be and you’d be struggling to measure up the whole time? 

You were rarely nervous with Joel anymore but you were weirdly nervous as you made him dinner - chicken fried steak - and tried to not let it show as the two of you ate together and had drinks and cake while watching Alien in his living room after. 

“You spoil me way too damn much, baby,” Joel said as your head was nestled against his chest, his lips in your hair. You could feel him smile against you as he kissed you there. “Best birthday I’ve had in years, thank you.” 

“Well, I might have one more thing for you,” you said, sitting up from him and smiling a little, your heart pounding in your chest. 

“Really?” He cocked a smile at you, his cheek dimpling. “Does it involve you naked?” 

“It might,” you teased, relaxing a little as you looked at him. This was Joel, the safest man you knew, the person you loved more than any other. It would be OK. “Want to go to your room and find out?” 

“Good luck stoppin’ me,” he winked, getting up and helping you off the couch. Once you were up stairs, the two of you kissed your way down the hall but he moaned as you pulled away from him and nudged him back toward the bed. 

“Just stay put,” you said. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Not goin’ anywhere,” he called as you disappeared into his bathroom. You looked at yourself in the mirror, forcing yourself to take a deep, calming breath before going to his linen cupboard and pulling out the throat spray, lube and lingerie you’d stashed away earlier. You used the spray first, wincing at the antiseptic-like taste of it, before you quickly stripped, balling up your sundress and bra and pulling on the deep green lacy babydoll set Cassie had picked for you. As you examined yourself in the mirror - fluffing your hair and adjusting your breasts in the sheer cups - you gave your best friend this much: she knew how to help make you comfortable. The set wasn’t too revealing or over the top but still highlighted your curves and put all the parts of you Joel seemed to like best on display. 

“Thank you, Cassie,” you muttered before taking a deep breath and steeling yourself, the strawberry flavored lube clutched tight in your hand. You looked your reflection in the eye and tried to get lost in the almost-porn star version of yourself in the mirror. 

“You got this,” you said almost silently, giving yourself a single, resolute nod before going for Joel’s room again. 

He was sitting obediently where you’d left him, watching the bathroom door. You draped yourself against the frame, popping a hip out to accentuate your curves, one arm stretched high over your head against the wood. Joel’s mouth dropped open, his eyes going wide. 

“Like what you see?” You asked more confidently then you felt. 

“Goddamn, baby,” he said reverently. “Gonna gimme a heart attack, looking that damn good.” 

“Well don’t go dropping dead on me now,” you teased, walking toward him in what you hoped was a sexy way and not something that made you look like an idiot. “You haven’t even gotten your present yet.” 

He put his hands on your waist when you reached him but, instead of straddling him, you reached down and spread his legs so you could step between them. You knelt in front of him, holding his gaze as you did, reaching for his jeans to open them. 

“What…” he frowned, looking down as you freed his cock, thick and long and hard. 

“Told you,” you said, trying to make yourself sound sultry and not nervous. “I had something for you.” 

You didn’t give him a chance to respond before you licked his shaft from root to tip, his skin velvet smooth and salty on your tongue. He groaned as you did and you took a deep breath as you took his tip into your mouth, sucking him gently as you did. 

Even just that was a lot and, as your tongue teased him, you squeezed some of the flavored lube into your hand before you spread it over his shaft, working him with your hand, your heart racing. 

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned as you started taking more of him into your mouth, licking and sucking and trying to focus on breathing through your nose as you did. It took more time than you really wanted to get all of him in your mouth, swallowing past your numbed gag reflex as best you could to take his length into your throat. You moaned as you did, sucking him hard, hollowing your cheeks like the girl in the video had done and he moaned, too, his fingers tightening on the edge of the bed. “Goddamn, your mouth…” 

You would have smiled at that if your mouth wasn’t open so wide. Instead, you started trying to work his cock the same way you did the cucumber in practice, hopefully the same way the girl did in the video he had. 

Joel’s breaths started coming quicker, needy little pants dripping from his lips as his cock dripped in your mouth and you took the encouragement, trying to move faster as you did, trying to take him as deep as you could every time. 

But Joel was big and you were almost positive he was getting bigger as you worked him, his cock swelling even further, his precome salty at the back of your throat, and the faster you moved the harder he was to take. Eventually, even with the spray, it was too much and you choked, coughing and gagging enough that you had to pull back from him, tears stinging the corners of your eyes. 

“Woah, you alright?” He asked, leaning forward and frowning at you, still a little breathless as he did. 

“Mhmm,” you hummed as you nodded, trying to keep yourself from coughing, massaging your throat as you did. “Sorry, I just…” 

“Don’t apologize, baby, goddamn,” he laughed once. “Not after doin’ all that for me…” 

You smiled a little sheepishly, feeling like you could breathe again. But the numb feeling at the back of your throat was gone. 

“I can do it again,” you said, sitting back on your heels. “I just… I got some throat spray and I just need to…” 

Joel’s eyebrows knitted together, frowning deeper this time. 

“Throat spray?”

You nodded. 

“It’s numbing?” You said, almost like it was a question. “I hadn’t really done this much before and I really wanted to do it like…” 

“Like what?” He asked and your eyes went wide. Shit. You hadn’t meant to say that part. “Like what, baby?” 

“Like the woman in one of the videos in your closet?” You said sheepishly, your heart pounding, everything else coming out in a rush. “I’m really sorry, I just couldn’t figure out what to get you for your birthday and Cassie suggested finding out what porn you liked and trying to recreate it so I might have looked through some of your things, I promise it was just to surprise you and give you what you wanted and…” 

“Baby,” he cut you off gently, tucking his cock back into his jeans. “Hey, it’s OK, c’mere.” He tugged you up on the bed beside him and you kept your eyes determinedly on your hands. “Think you can look at me?” 

You took a deep breath but listened, gnawing on your lower lip as you did. 

“There are those pretty eyes of yours,” he smiled a little, cupping your cheek. “Now, I ain’t sayin’ I don’t appreciate the thought - don’t think any woman’s ever done something like that for me - but honey, I don’t want to do something you don’t want to do. I really don’t want to do something that’s rough enough on your body that you gotta numb yourself to get through it.” 

You frowned. 

“But you go down on me…” 

“Yeah, because I like to,” he said. “Like seein’ what I can do to you but that doesn’t mean you have to do it back to me, not unless you want to. And if you do want to, you don’t need to do it so hard that you hurt yourself. It’s not good for me if it’s not good for you, too.” 

You took a deep, steadying breath, and nodded. 

“Besides,” he smiled a little. “Haven’t needed those videos in a while. Honestly, I kinda forgot I even still had ‘em.” 

You scoffed. 

“Hey, I’m being serious,” he said. “Haven’t used ‘em since you and I got together, that’s for damn sure. And for a few months before that I may or may not have had better luck thinkin’ about this sexy nanny I had working for me…” 

“Oh really?” You teased lightly, heat taking the place of the nerves in your stomach. 

“Really,” he said, almost unsettlingly earnest. “I’ve been yours for a while, baby. And that’s because I love you, don’t have a damn thing to do with what you do in bed.” 

You smiled softly and kissed him, his lips gentle on yours for a moment before it deepened, turning hot and needy. 

Joel tugged you back on the bed with him, one hand splaying wide over your back, the other slipping into the soft lace of your lingerie to cup your breast. But, before you got too distracted, you pulled back from him, making him frown a little. 

“But what if I want to,” you said, biting your lip again. 

His frown deepened. 

“Want to what?” 

“Suck your cock,” you said, trying to ignore how hot your cheeks got. 

“Fuck, baby,” he said, his eyes darkening. 

“Because I do want to,” you said. “I want to make you feel the way you make me feel.” 

“You sure?” He asked. “Because I know I can be… a lot to take.” 

You smiled a little. 

“Think I know how big your cock is, Joel. And I know what I want.” 

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he groaned, lying on his back, freeing his cock and stroking it as he did. “Gotta take it easy and let me help.” 

You nodded eagerly before settling near his hips, taking his length in your hand and stroking him up and down, running your thumb over his leaking tip. When you looked at him now, you weren’t intimidated. Instead, you were hungry for him, wanting to feel him deep inside you in a different way, your mouth watering with it. 

You lowered yourself over him, licking his head, your tongue wide and flat against him and Joel groaned, his fingers tightening in the blankets on the bed. You took a moment to really experience him, the taste of him, the heady concentration of the scent of him in the thatch of coarse hair at his base, the tender softness of his skin. It shouldn’t have been surprising but you wanted more, more of all of it. 

So you took more, his tip disappearing into your mouth slow and easy. 

“Fuck, there you go baby,” he was damn near panting with need and you smiled a little around his intrusion, at what you were doing to him. “Nice and slow.” 

You moaned as you sank lower, easing more and more of him into your mouth before rising up and then taking a little more of him, your tongue pressed tight to his shaft as you did again and again. 

And then he was at the back of your throat, no longer numbed, and you tried to do what Cassie had told you to do: Swallow him past your gag reflex to get all of him inside. 

It worked, at first, your lips making it almost to the base of his shaft as he groaned. But it didn’t last, your body quickly trying to reject the thick heft of him in your throat, making you gag. This time, though you didn’t try and force it, pulling back quickly but leaving his head in your mouth. 

“You OK?” He asked, his voice strained, one large hand coming to cradle the back of your head. You just nodded, his tip still in your mouth. “Here, gimme your hand.” 

You obeyed and Joel guided your fingers to the base of his shaft. 

“Just…” you could hear the desperation in his voice. “Hold on like that, don’t gotta take it all. Feel the most at the tip, anyway.” 

You nodded and worked your way lower again, a little faster this time, adjusting your grip so you were still taking most of him into your mouth but not quite hitting your gag reflex. Joel’s breaths grew sharper, more desperate and you could feel him straining to hold back from fucking up into you and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of power at that, the way you could make him almost lose himself to pleasure. 

You started to work him faster, your tongue pressing and curling around him, your mouth working in tandem with your hand. It wasn’t long before you found your rhythm over him, rising and falling, sucking and licking, savoring every inch of him you could take. And even though you were focused on making Joel feel good, it was making you tight and needy, too, the hand not around his cock finding your slit, fingers trailing through the wetness that had grown there. 

“Fuck,” he groaned. “Takin’ me so well, baby, doin’ so damn good.” 

You moaned, working him harder, faster as your fingers grew firmer on your clit and you suddenly, desperately, needed all of him in your mouth, gag reflex be damned. 

So you took all of him, moaning as his head slipped into your throat, sucking him hard and fast and you felt him twitch in your mouth before he all but ripped you away from him, leaving you stunned for a moment. 

But then he damn near jumped between your thighs, shoving your panties to the side and pushing into you. You gasped at the stretch of him, your pussy already tightening around him. Joel’s hips snapped into yours just as fast as you’d been sucking him before. 

“Ain’t gonna last,” he said, burying his face in your neck and kissing the delicate skin there. “Too fuckin’ good at that, Jesus…” 

You could only moan in response, your own orgasm building quickly, your fingers tugging at his shirt as you tried to pull him impossibly closer, your pussy drawing tight around him for a second before you fell apart. Your orgasm was so powerful you couldn’t move, crying out with the force of it as Joel fucked into you twice more before he came, too, pressing himself deep inside as he spilled into you.

Joel collapsed, spent, on top of you after, still fully clothed and panting for breath as you held him close. 

“Holy shit baby,” he said eventually, still a little breathless. 

You laughed quietly. 

“Did I measure up to the video?” You teased. 

He pulled back from you, looking you over for a moment, like he was trying to tell if you were joking or not. 

“Think you know the answer to that,” he said, kissing you gently as he slid himself from you and lay beside you. He tugged you against him as he settled, tucking your head against his chest. “But in case it wasn’t clear, yeah. You beat ever damn porno I ever watched, ain’t even close.” 

You smiled, proud. 

“Good,” you said. “Because… I liked doing that.” 

You felt him lift his head to look at you before dropping back down to the bed. 

“Really?” 

“Yup,” you said, tracing your fingers over the outline of his pecs through his shirt. “Think I’ll want to do it again.”

“Sure as hell won’t get any arguments from me.” 

“There is a downside, though,” you said, sitting up just enough to look at him. 

“What’s that?” He frowned and you smiled. 

“Now I’m going to have to figure out what the hell to get you for your birthday next year.” 

He laughed and tucked you back against his chest. 

“Just keep givin’ me you, baby,” he said. “Doesn’t get any better than that.” 

A/N: I missed Joel and Doc so I wrote this. Thanks for reading them even more than a year after Lavender ended.

Happy birthday, Joel!

Love you all!

[anonymouspuzzler]

you know what? fuck you (heartbreak gulch's my own guys)

(@heartbreakgulch courtesy of the inimitable @strangegutz & collaborators, also miscellaneous Thoughts under the cut bc it's my blog no one can stop me the doors have closed behind you)

HEARTBREAKER BULKHEAD:

Probably does not have superpowers anymore but still came from a family of considerable influence and was under pressure to inherit, pressure which he very much Broke Under.

Turned to a life of crime, definitely got in over his head with it, and essentially got rescued by Eddie, who he is Utterly Obsessed With And Heartsick For.

Has spent literal years as one of Eddie's attack dogs and generally jumping through hoops for him for Whatever Scraps Of Affection He Can Get, though he's still kind of squeamish around Literal Murder and thus tends to be assigned to supply runs and such most of the time.

Amateur mechanic and car enthusiast. Probably did a lot of McGyver-ass fixes around the Gulch-slash-generally assisted Ami til Davey was recruited.

Speaking of, was still the guy who recruited-slash-rescued Davey. They fell for each other hard and are in a committed relationship now, which has helped Buck take a little bit of a healthier step back with whatever the hell he and Eddie have going on (and helped him be a little less jealous and curmudgeonly about the Hot Young Things In Town, ie Zeki and Felix).

Absolutely not prepared to be a guardian to Minnie which has led his and Eddie's whole Relationship to enter a fun new stage of "hey man can I ask you for parenting advice nothing weird"

HEARTBREAKER DYNAMO:

Pretty similar backstory to the Villain-Coded version. Civilian turned criminal, lost his arm when he got in over his head on a job and Buck rescued him.

Has a bunch of different prosthetics he swaps out for different purposes, ie. one for combat, one to use for mechanic work, a kinda general use/everyday one, etc. That said, he goes without a lot to make sure he's prepared for a situation where he doesn't have access/one breaks or fails on a job/etc.

An alarmingly good recruit; I feel like originally Eddie kind of let him stick around as a kind of "gift" to Buck, but now that he's actually got him on jobs he's become a real rising star. Real good in a scrap and is a little more flexible with his moral lines in the sand compared to Buck. Outside of that he works with Ami a lot doing mechanics and repairs - probably interested in learning CompanDroid maintenance/repair but figures it'd be skeevy for him to push that point too much.

He and Eddie have a complicated relationship I think. They'd be kinda suspicious/distrusting of each other but also have a LOT of similarities and work really well together. To say nothing of their respective relationships with Buck.

I don't think he's Trying to Uncle the younger recruits in the Gulch but he definitely Does. He likes White a lot. He and Ami would also definitely get along really well. He is being The Bigger Man and Mature Adult and not giving Felix a wedgie no matter how badly he wants to

HEARTBREAKER(?) MINNIE:

From the same family of prominence as Buck and is currently very much on the run after a failed attempt to kill her own dad.

Extremely a city kid and is Not necessarily adapting well to Middle Of Nowhere Self Sustained Living.

Knew Of Buck but never met him before this so his whole Life and Little Criminal Commune featuring Multiple Guys He's Got SOMETHING Going On With is. it's a lot

Would like to do some crime actually but is A) still a little traumatized and adjusting to the whole Situation and B) 13 Whole Real Human Years Old.

Fascinated by Zeki's whole deal and his work but I think they would absolutely bring out the worst in each other they would fight so much. Autism to autism hostility

Having a very complicated response to White and Ami wherein she thinks they're SO cool but interacting with them at any length would make her realize Things About Herself that she's not consciously ready to confront so just like. Imagine being White and looking over your shoulder and that 13 year old is just Intensely Staring At You Unblinking from around a corner and as soon as she realizes you've seen her she turns around and runs off as fast as she can directly into a wall

Zarita absolutely hitting that Cool Just Slightly Older Kid niche for her.

[frvnkcastles]

Hello love! I know you’re probably still in recovery, so feel free to table this request as long as you like (or permanently if it doesn’t vibe with you!) but it came to mind and I immediately thought of you.

I thought, maybe something happens to the reader as a consequence of Frank’s life. Maybe they’re kidnapped or tortured or otherwise hurt, and it’s really not that bad - Frank gets to you in time, and you’re not too terribly hurt. But it sets off the readers cPTSD, which they weren’t ready to share with Frank yet. And he thinks they’re haunted and traumatized by the event, and you don’t know how to tell him it’s not what he thinks. And Franks doing his whole guilt spiral but you can’t explain that it’s not his fault, that these cuts and bruises are nothing. That you’re not scared of those men. That it’s something else you’re scared of

WILL YOU STILL LOVE WHO I AM ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You’re kidnapped and Frank comes to your rescue, but the ordeal triggers your CPTSD and you just want to make Frank feel less guilty.

Warnings: Knives, guns, mild torture, childhood abuse, hurt/comfort

Word count: 1.8k

Author’s note: I hope I did your idea justice!! I don’t feel like this is my best work but it’s a very heavy topic to write about and I really wanted to be respectful and careful with it. Sending you lots of love <33 (Also, I’m realizing I am NOT good at ending fics lmaooo.)

It was supposed to be a fun night out with your girlfriends. And you could have sworn you hadn’t taken your eyes off of your glass, but somewhere between laughing at your friend and reapplying your lipgloss you must have lost focus and that was when they had struck. The dancefloor was full, anyway, so you shouldn’t have been surprised that no one paid attention to a stranger dragging you away, and yet, you wished so dearly that someone would have.

That, you figured, was how you ended up in that warehouse, tied to a chair with your head heavy and groggy, just like your eyelids. You couldn’t tell how long it had been, but you were tired and scared and all you wanted was to go home.

You came to when one of your captors roughly grabbed your chin and tilted your head up. ”Smile. It’s for your boyfriend”, the man grinned in satisfaction, and as he squished your face and snapped a photo of you, you squinted at the flash. It was over quickly but the burn on your jaw remained, and it made you groan as you tried to look around you and process your surroundings.

”What do you say we make you all pretty for when he arrives?” the man spoke up in front of you, and when you turned to look at him, you saw the gleaming knife in his hands. You inhaled sharply and your whole body tensed at the implications, but with your wrists and ankles tied, there was nowhere for you to go.

He traced the knife across your stomach, not enough to draw blood but enough to remind you he could. He then fisted the material of your dress in one hand and, with his other one, drove the blade through the fabric, creating wide tears over your chest and thighs. He laughed mockingly, and as he trailed the knife past your revealed chest, tears welled up in your eyes.

”You’re going to regret this”, you mustered, but the shakiness in your voice didn’t make a very convincing case. Still, the attempt was enough to piss him off, and before you could do or say anything else, he had cut you right across your collarbone.

”Don’t talk back to me”, he warned you, and despite the tears running down your face, you stared back at him defiantly.

”You’re pathetic”, you spat at him, and within seconds, he had swung his hand across your face, making the warehouse echo with the smack. You cried out, and in an instant, you were back in your childhood home — at the hands of your parents, slapped around like you weren’t worth anything else.

You supposed that dissociating from the situation was how you got through the next hour. You were far too busy stuck in a flashback to fully process the cuts you received at the hands of your captor, but you heard every word he whispered in your ear.

You’re worthless. You deserve this. No one’s coming to save you.

It was all too familiar to you. But you had survived then, and you were determined to survive now — you knew Frank was coming to your rescue. Even if you had barely started dating, he wouldn’t let an innocent person get killed by his enemies, and that was exactly why you had faith that it was only a matter of time.

And, indeed, eventually you heard gunshots from behind the heavy door closing you alone with the man. He flinched, and when you both heard Frank roar out his name, you knew it was time. He reacted by circling behind you and holding the knife to your throat, so tight you barely dared to breathe.

Then the door opened, and Frank looked absolutely feral as he pointed the gun at the man behind you. ”Let her go”, he demanded with his gravelly voice, and the man only laughed.

”You stupid—”, he began, but Frank didn’t waste more time — he pulled the trigger, and your captor dropped dead, the knife clattering against the floor as he did.

You exhaled heavily, and immediately, Frank was rushing to your side. ”I gotchu, sweetheart. ’M here now. I’mma take you home, okay?” he rasped, using his own knife to free you from your binds. Your body slumped forward and he caught you with ease, supporting you against his chest as he gathered your limbs and heaved you up into his arms.

”I got you��, he repeated in a quiet whisper, before carrying you out to his truck and taking you home.

Soon enough, you were seated on the edge of your bathtub with an ice pack against your bruising eye and Frank’s hand ghosting over your body to assess all the damage. In hindsight, it really wasn’t as bad as it could have been — minor, shallow cuts littered your skin but they didn’t even need stitches, and the drugs were wearing off. Frank still made sure to disinfect the cuts and apply band-aids where it was necessary, but for the most part, there was nothing to do about the physical aspect.

He helped you out of your torn dress and into one of his sweaters, and the whole time, you could tell how tense he was, like he was a ticking timebomb about to go off.

”You saved me”, you voiced your thoughts out loud, after not having said a word since he had found you. Your words got his eyes to meet yours, and you gave him a weak smile. ”You found me and I’m okay”, you added, and with a wry scoff, Frank looked down at your conjoined hands as you stood in the middle of your bedroom.

”You’re not okay”, he grunted, his voice dripping with guilt and blame, all of it directed at himself. ”I never shoulda let this happen”, he continued as he let go of your hands and started pulling off his skull-adorned vest, only now finding the time to take care of himself.

”It wasn’t your fault”, you argued with a frown, and with his back turned to you, Frank shrugged.

”Wouldn’t have happened to you if you weren’t involved with me”, he pointed out, and from the fragile tone, you felt like he was on the verge of tears. It made you sick to your stomach, and in a sick twist, you started to feel guilty, for causing him distress.

You weren’t used to someone looking after you, either. And his care-taking seemed to only emphasize the voice in your head that your parents had instilled in. You didn’t deserve it. You would have been better off dead.

Swallowing, you gave Frank’s back a caress before dropping your hand. ”Let’s just get some sleep, okay?” you proposed, ready to put this night behind you, and with a small nod, Frank agreed.

It was 4 AM when you jolted awake from a nightmare. You cried out as you flinched up, and reacting to the potential danger, Frank snapped out of his slumber, ready to attack. When he saw you sitting next to him, on the edge of hyperventilating, he ran a hand across his face and reached for your arm.

”Sweetheart”, he called for you, and startled out of your haze, you turned to look at him. You let your shoulders drop and with a sigh, you buried your face in your hands, all the while Frank climbed out of bed and began pacing back and forth in the room.

”This is my fault, shit, I never should have let you go. I never should have gotten you involved in the first place”, he rambled away, ”I fucked up, I did, and now you’re sufferin’ ’cause of me.”

Shaking your head, you tried to open your mouth and tell him. You wanted to. But a part of you was nervous. You hadn’t told him about all your trauma yet, hadn’t disclosed the effects your childhood still had on you, and you didn’t know how to get the ball rolling.

”Frank”, you croaked out, but he didn’t stop pacing. ”Frank, listen to me. It’s not your fault”, you insisted, and finally, he gave you a weary look, like he was catching you in a lie. But it wasn’t a lie — your nightmare hadn’t been about the man with the knife, it hadn’t been about the cuts or the bruises, it hadn’t been about any of it. It was like any other nightmare you had on a regular basis, and if anyone was to be blamed, it was your parents.

”Look… I didn’t want to tell you like this, but it’s not the first or the worst time I’ve been hurt”, you started, and finally, Frank paused and sat on the edge of the bed to be closer to you.

”Whaddya mean?” he wondered, curiosity and concern in his voice as he looked at you intently.

”My parents”, you shrugged with an unamused chuckle. ”I guess all of this is reminding me of the way they treated me. They put me down, physically and verbally, and no one’s ever looked after me the way you do”, you explained, and instantly, something shifted in Frank’s eyes.

”Shit”, he breathed out, ”baby, I’m sorry. You realize you deserve to be looked after, right?”

You licked your lips in thought. ”I don’t know”, you answered truthfully, and that was what got Frank to snap out of his guilt. He sat closer to you and took your hands in his, peppering your knuckles with kisses.

”I mean it. I’m real sorry no one’s shown you that before. But lemme tell you, I was going outta my mind tonight. I was wonderin’ if I’d ever see ya again. And that’s a feeling I never wanna deal with again. I want you in my life, and I fuckin’ wish it wasn’t so dangerous”, he ranted, and pursing your lips together in a faint smile, you nodded.

”It really wasn’t that bad. I’m okay. You came to get me”, you assured, before adding, ”and you’re worth it.”

Chuckling, Frank ducked his head before leaning in to kiss your forehead. ”You’re worth everythin’. I adore you, y’know? There ain’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you”, he emphasized, holding you close to him.

”Thank you for saying that. I might need some support for the next few days. I think I can manage it for the most part but after getting triggered things suck a little extra for a while”, you spoke shyly, worried that you were putting too much pressure on him, or revealing too much of yourself. This thing with him was still so fresh, and that was why you had avoided telling him about your past before — it was too much too soon. But now, you supposed, you both had baggage and it was just a part of who you were.

”Hey, you got it. Anything else you need right now?” Frank tilted his head at you, and quickly, you nodded.

”Yes. For you to stop blaming yourself and to get in bed with me”, you decided, and with a chuckle, Frank nodded.

”Aight. I’ll try my best. C’mere, sweetheart.” And with that, he wrapped you into his embrace and helped you fall back asleep, satisfied that you were still in one piece and home with him.

[lycandrophile]

i just got back from my first ever gynecological exam and somehow, despite the doctor being really nice and way more knowledgeable about trans bodies than i was expecting, it still ended up being incredibly upsetting and honestly probably mildly traumatizing. i’m sure it’s no secret to anyone following me that going to the gynecologist is a uniquely shitty experience for a lot of trans guys and i knew that but i really was not prepared for that.

first of all, everything you read says that the pelvic exam and pap smear shouldn’t hurt even if they’re super uncomfortable, but let me tell you, that shit fucking hurt. like, i have a pretty high pain tolerance and usually even when something does hurt i don’t show it very much, but that was maybe the most painful thing i’ve ever had a doctor do to me and it showed. to be fair, i’ve never had good luck with things like that — i couldn’t even use tampons back when i had a period because the one time i did, taking it out was really painful — and i’m on t now so i’m sure that makes things even harder and i was prepared for it to hurt, but i really wasn’t ready for just bad it was. it’s been an hour since the exam finished and there’s still some pain so, yeah, so much for “it’s just uncomfortable, not painful”.

(and a side note: when it did hurt, the doctor told me to relax my muscles because the tension makes it hurt more. what they didn’t seem to realize is that if your brain and body are collectively rejecting the presence of something inside you, making those muscles relax is a fucking herculean task and i for one was not in any way capable of it so it just…kept getting more painful.)

i also was never informed ahead of time of what a pelvic exam actually entails; i had assumed it was a more general external checkup, and that the pap smear was the only really invasive part. as it turns out, i was very wrong, and “pelvic exam” actually means the doctor sticks their finger up you to feel around. she asked me if i was comfortable getting the exam because it was so obvious that the pap smear didn’t go well, but i had no clue what i was saying yes to and it was a total surprise for me when there was something inside me again. and she knew it was my first time, so she had no reason to assume i knew that the exam would be like. by the time i realized i absolutely should not have said yes to it, i was too late and it was already happening. it really feels like common sense that if you’re going to be giving someone what basically amounts to a professional fingering, you should probably make it clear that that’s what’s about to happen, but i guess that doctor would disagree.

and of course, the whole time i was also being misgendered. the doctor used the right name for me, but the other staff didn’t and everything about it was so excessively gendered (i’m pretty sure the appointment i had was literally called a “women’s wellness visit” on the same sheet that had trans man and nonbinary as gender options). not to mention, when i told them i’m getting top surgery and have the exact date set, the nurse made a comment to like“well aren’t you one of the lucky ones,” which really felt like it had “i think trans guys have a super easy time getting surgeries that cis women have to fight for” energy.

and the irony of all this definitely isn’t lost on me — i just did a project this past semester about how trans guys are fucked over by reproductive healthcare practices so a lot of us just never go, and now i got some firsthand experience in exactly why so many of us just say “no fucking way”.

i just want to put this out there for anyone who hasn’t done it before because i think this would have been a lot less awful for me if someone had just told me “yeah, it might hurt way more than you think, and also that thing they call a pelvic exam is actually an internal exam.” i thought i was prepared and i totally wasn’t, so hopefully this will reach someone else who will be better off knowing all of this.

[kalinara]

Oddly, I find myself inspired to talk about Scott/Emma today.

I want to disclaim first that I actually really do enjoy the Scott/Emma ship. I think, at their best, they were amazingly good for each other. I think she was the partner he needed at a time when he needed to be harder and more ruthless, less yielding, for the sake of the survival of their people. I think he helped her remember the good person that she;s always been capable of being, despite her anger, rage and pain, and made her want to be that person again.

But I will never not be frustrated by so many aspects of how the relationship began. And I'm going to get into them below the cut.

(Content warning: I'm going to discuss violation, victim-blaming, and sexual assault/rape.)

So, let me talk about my first frustration:

I will never be able to stop my knee jerk reaction whenever I see someone, in character or out, call it a "psychic affair", when it goddamn well wasn't.

(New X-Men #131)

What it was, was a case of therapeutic abuse. He went to her FOR THERAPY. The "affair" was conducted in the course of therapeutic sessions. This isn't just malpractice, something that, were Emma a real person in the real world, would cost her her license.

In the State of New York, real world, what Emma's doing is a prosecutable crime. Because a patient, in the course of therapy, has diminished capacity to consent.

And look, it's not that I think this is a deal-breaker to their future relationship. The X-Men are fucked up. We all know that. But it is irksome to me that, to this day, this is referred to as an "affair", and not a single character has ever pointed out that Scott was not actually a consenting equal partner here, but a victim.

(In retrospect, maybe THIS is the first initial sign that Hank McCoy was slowly drifting to the dark side, because I cannot imagine a man like DOCTOR Henry McCoy, of this era and before, not being seriously aware of and passionate about the ethical responsibilities that a doctor has to his patients.)

It's probably fair to note the Doyleist elements. It is possible that the writer/artist team never intended this to be as violating and victimizing as it is. But I am skeptical of this. You can't tell me that the people who wrote and drew THIS SEQUENCE:

(New X-Men #128)

did not know they were writing Emma as a sexual predator here.

(I have seen folks bring up the "defense" that Scott was a fucking idiot to go to her for help, as though that in any way excuses her actions. Surprise! Someone who has been recently traumatized does not make wise decisions! That is entirely shocking! It's almost like he might not be in a position to consent to a sexual relationship with someone claiming to act as a therapist!)

--

You know what's even more frustrating though? The shit Scott gets for the actual START of their relationship.

You remember how it goes? Jean's dead. Scott is at her grave, mourning. Emma goes to him with an offer - a relationship and a co-leader position at the school. He accepts and there's that infamous making out at the grave scene.

It's awful! It's completely understandable that this turns off a lot of folk both readers and in character.

Except that's NOT what initially happened.

THIS is the scene as it initially, actually happened:

(New X-Men #151)

So yeah, THIS is what actually happens. Emma makes her offer. Scott says no. He leaves.

But THEN we get a whole storyline with future bad things happening, and well, apparently someone gets the idea that there's one really good way to avoid all of that mess happening.

So in New X-Men #154, we get this:

And the same scene again:

The exact same scene. Same place, same dialogue, same time.

But what's Scott's response:

It's really hard not to read this as anything but Scott having his "No" literally rewritten to a "Yes" by a future version of his own wife.

And here's the thing, this isn't a meaningless action. Scott takes a LOT of shit from a LOT of his friends and family for this decision. Not just taking up with Emma so early after Jean's death, but also where it happens. THIS IS JEAN'S GRAVE after all.

Rachel, his DAUGHTER, is furious. She basically disowns him outright, switching to her mother's surname and costume. It isn't until the End of Greys (meanspirited bullshit of a story worthy of another rant someday), and their shared grief, that they're able to reconcile.

Hank, probably the closest friend he has at this time, is utterly disgusted. And so many others have similar reactions.

Look, it can be frustrating to read and talk about X-Factor because, in my opinion, so much of Scott's choices are mischaracterized and taken out of context. But at least those are CHOICES that he actually made.

This wasn't a choice! This was an incredibly fucked up act of spousal rape by proxy committed by a hypothetical future version of Jean, where all of the negative consequences fell on the victim's head. Both victims, really, because Emma was not a willing participant in the violation of her new partner.

And what makes it so much more frustrating is that this will never be addressed. There is, I think, a very slight chance that one day an actual, ethical therapist or Doctor might hear the story of the affair and point out "actually, no, that was actually something terrible that happened to you."

But no one is ever going to learn the truth here. Why would it even come up? Scott and Emma have been longer as exes (Krakoa polyamory possibilities aside) than they've been together. Jean isn't the same Jean, she's as innocent of this as young Hank is of any of Hank Prime's crimes.

So this will never get addressed, ever, and I will seethe eternally at yet another example of unjust treatment toward my favorite character. And I can't even be mad at the people involved this time (unlike AvX!) because he DID what they're mad at him about.

It's just he DIDN'T initially, and it's so frustrating.

--

Again, i don't intend this rant to reflect on Scott and Emma as a pairing on the whole. As I said above, I think, on the whole, the two have been very good for each other. I like the weird whatever-it-is they had going on in Krakoa.

(I could have done without that X-Men Blue storyline where she tries to psychically force baby Cyclops INTO adult Cyclops, but that's a rant for another day. I was really glad to see her back as a proper anti-heroine in Rosenberg's run later.)

I just hate that these darker parts of their origin have never been satisfactorily addressed and it will always bother me.

[a-couple-of-notes]

OKAY what a finale, folks! Deliberately not reading everyone else's thoughts until later (although I did chat briefly with @kshaar -- thank you for enduring my walls of Discord text), but I'm beginning my processing by writing this out.

I have a few issues with how all of this played out, as I'm sure many of you do, but I mostly really liked this finale. I'm so, so aware that it's hard to stick a landing--especially in a fandom as theory-heavy as Marvel, with the dedication of the queer fanbase on top of it. I think it's commendable how much they executed well, and how deliberately they aligned it with their vision of the show, not the one that would make everyone happy (if there is such a thing).

To the stuff I liked: unpopular opinion, but I like the order of the episodes as it is--final big boss fight first, quiet intimate flashback as the finale. Or, at least, I see the vision--I'm still iffy on whether the pacing actually feels good, but that probably needs another rewatch. This show has always been about unpacking Agatha, peeling off her masks until we get to some kind of truth, ugly or beautiful or both. Of course the ending is the truest thing we've ever gotten out of Agatha--the real story of her son and his death.

I loved everything about Nicky, Rio, and Agatha in the flashback. It is so beautifully mundane. A mother's love. A natural death. Selfishness. Grief. Anger. It's gorgeous, and the version of the ballad we got felt so, so fitting.

Everything about Jen! That unbinding spell...whoo. Sasheer Zamata knocked it out of the goddamn park with her performance--the joy, the sorrow, the agony of relief. Man. Even if the rest of the finale flopped on its belly (which it didn't), that alone would have been worth the price of admission. (Also ALSO: Agatha hate-flirting with Jen over confession of horrible traumatic action that fucked up Jen's whole shit! The Jen/Agatha truthers win!)

Alice. Alice my beloved. Ali Ahn, you do so much with the little screen time you have and I applaud you for it. I'm very grateful their cap on her arc was "I could make my life mean something/you're a protection witch. You died protecting someone" and not "you get to see your mother again" because, as I pointed out in the tags of one of my previous posts, that's the real tragedy of Alice. Her life, her freedom, her potential.

To the things I'm mixed on: that final battle, man. I think they did an admirable job of focusing what could have been a generic Marvel magic-blast-y slugfest into distinct character beats, but there was a lot going on in that fight. And compared to previous Rio and Agatha interactions, their big climactic one felt a little...weightless. Those factors make it much less clear why Agatha and Rio are fighting--like, on an emotional level; I understand intellectually why--which means that what also feels unclear is...

...The not-a-sacrifice. I like 90% of this. I like that Billy is finally able to communicate with Agatha via mind powers, because he's started to accept how alike they are. I like that Nicky is once again Agatha's turning point. I even can get behind the sacrifice as the creators' intention--not what I would have preferred, but a solid narrative choice nonetheless. Still, I am super unclear what, exactly, Agatha is thinking when she turns around. Is she just remembering Nicky himself--how much Billy is like him and how ashamed she would be if she left? If so, it feels odd that Agatha's version of sacrifice is kissing Rio so honestly. Later, we learn that Agatha was taking a risk to become a ghost. So when Billy asks how Nicky died, is Agatha remembering how Rio gave him time--the kiss as a fucked-up version of recognition, the risk being Agatha relying on Death's special treatment once again? That would be a better end to Agatha and Rio's arc, but there's no expository line, no echoing "I can only offer time." And Agatha and Rio. DON'T. TALK. IN PRESENT-DAY EPISODE 9.

This is my main gripe. I am aware I am griping with Megalopolis and FFC, not the show or its creators. But goddamn if more Aubrey Plaza would have fixed almost everything in that finale--and I mean this in a narrative sense, not just because I love Aubrey Plaza. It would have clarified where Agatha is ending re: her relationship with Rio (and Nicky), and it would have bookended the first episode so well (the three-player drama returns!) I am actually irritated about this.

Ghost Agatha looks so goofy. Like, I understand the vision here--the parallels to her mother, and of course Agatha would find a way to piss off Rio in her own domain. It's iconic. Still. There's something about Ghost!Agatha that's so much harder to buy into on a gut level, a kind of emotional distance created in such an emotional, tactile show.

Billy. Oh, Billy. I like your arc. I like its execution, while heaving a grudging sigh of "yeah, that makes sense for this story but I'm still kind of disappointed" re: the creation of the Witches' Road. I love the idea that Billy's ultimate arc was to accept the darkness in himself, and all the things he's capable of. But I really, really wish Agatha had had one more conversation with...not you. (Agatha naturally falls into a mentor-type role for Billy, which isn't necessarily bad or not part of her arc, but does at least lead to me feeling like we don't get an endpoint for Agatha in present day that's entirely her own.)

And I suppose that's the crux of my mixed feelings: the show began with Agatha asking who she was, before Billy even came into the picture. The viewers get to see a glimpse into Agatha's real self in the Ep. 9 flashback. But at the end of episode 9, Agatha is still running from it. She's barely touched her own grief (yes, yes, insert joke about Rio here), and we don't see her making that choice. I emphasize that because I am not categorically opposed to Agatha not completing her grief arc; god knows 9 episodes would have struggled to do that. I'm fine that they left some threads hanging. It's just that something in between Agatha (not-)sacrificing and Agatha coming back as affably-evil Casper is missing, and it feels like a gaping omission.

Other notes: Billy dramatically charging up the hex to create a memorial was great--another way the finale lets us into the beauty of the mundane. It's not to bring everyone back, or go down the Road again. But it's important, this act of remembering.

Though I'm disappointed we didn't get found family coven true, I'm at peace with how that thread wound up. This was a show about Agatha; the coven as individuals act as foils and reflections of her. They break and succeed in similar ways as Agatha. And they were a coven--a messed-up, broken coven who tried their best. It wasn't enough to save them, but it was enough for them to grow closer to the people they wanted to be. Agatha using something from every witch in her coven--Alice's protection spell, Lilia's divination, Jen's healing--in the fight was truly poignant, and tells me she'll remember them and carry them forward. (Also, the contrast against the flashback! "I cannot heal, I cannot protect you from what's coming, and I cannot divine when she'll come for you." Agatha needed them to be her coven! And they were. And they were.)

Final thoughts: (This is a misnomer; I'm still digesting.) Agatha All Along became a more complex, difficult show than I thought it would be pre-Episode 5. Occasionally this meant it disappointed me, had places where its budget, scheduling, Marvel-ness, and decisions regarding exposition struggled to connect things, but overall, it's a damn good show. And I would rather see a funny, challenging, ambitious show made with love for the craft than a safe, big-budget, chopped-up Marvel movie in a blender. And hey, it was super gay! (Please don't come near me with the "Bury Your Gays" stuff. Please. It's not that, I promise you.)

[a-sad-mage]

Been a hot minute since I rambled about MaxSteel(2013) and-

What the fuck is wrong with Forge Ferrus-

Excuse my language

But seriously, I know it's been a point of discussion before, like a lot, but why the hell is Forge so hell bent on Steel being evil for the majority of the series????

Like Steel resting wouldn't actually make him evil.

Forge, you half-wit ;

STEEL WAS A FULTY ULTRALINK

Steel, as far as I'm concerned, was an anomaly, the 1 in 1000 product that is not like the others who were all programmed to be loyal to Makano, Steel wasn't. He questioned what they were doing, even if it was Jim that prompted it. Because here's the thing if the seed of doubt wasn't already there, Steel wouldn't have done what he did.

If Steel reset, he wouldn't default to 'glory for Makano' because that isn't a part of his programming.

On top of that

WHY KEEP THE FACT MAX IS HALF ALIEN A SECRET?!

even if Forge wasn't so hostile to Steel, and told them some things, I think at some point, Max and Steel would have questioned why Max had TURBO powers.

Because you can't expect someone to believe 'oh yeah, you were exposed to highly volatile energy when you were younger and now you're body generates the stuff' explanation forever.

Like wtf how dose being exposed to energy just cause ones body to start making it? Because that would imply human experimentation at some point.

And the whole 'we made Jim a promise not to tell you...' thing is also bullshit.

Yes they were trying tk keep there world to someone who subsidy died but I'm pretty sure they would be okay with you breaking that promise if keeping it is doing more harm than good.

WHICH IT WAS

YOU DON'T KEEP A SECRET THAT WILL ACTIVELY HARM SOMEONE OR CAUSE THEM TO SEEK ANSWERS IN A WAY THAT MAY HARM THEM!

you see it 'Uncle Sam Wants You!' Max and Steel go behind Forge's, and subsequently N-Teks back and joins the military for what they think is a raid on Dredds base. Max and Steel trust Colonel because he shows them some respect, and a level of trust Forge hasn't in a while.

And I also think Max’s lack of father figure plays a part in his actions that episode.

Yes I think we all more or less agree on some level that Forge was the closest thing Max had to a dad.

But when your father figure is acting fishy, not trusting you, and seemingly disappointed, and then another older man shows up and gives you a compliment and a pat on the back. Safe to say you're going to latch on the guy being nice than the one being a bit of a diçƙ.

Had Forge been just a wee bit more honest, I don't think Steel, but more importantly, Max would have felt the need to join up with another group.

Tldr: If Forge just communicated like a proper human, then Max probably wouldn't be so traumatized and not get basically groomed that one EP['Uncle Sam Wants You!']

[atopvisenyashill]

I don't know if you can talk about Aerea and Rhaena, their whole relationship is horrible, but a lot of the fandom tends to label her as a simple bad mother and not see beyond that.

I find their relationship very tragic largely because I think under normal circumstances, Rhaena would have been a very loving and present mother. I also think "well she's a bad mother" is very disingenous framing. For the first several years of her life As A Mom, she and her daughter are being held hostage by her insane uncle. Then, she spends the next several years trying to cope with the fact that she was maritally raped, her brother-husband was murdered, any and all power she has is derived completely from how her younger brother is feeling on that day, oh and, ya know, being a LESBIAN IN A MEDIEVAL ESQUE PERIOD. cannot stress enough that Rhaena has a lot of shit going on that impacts her ability to take care of herself let alone take care of a child. And none of that is Aerea's fault - again, Aerea's childhood is spent in an unstable, sexually abusive home where her mother is being maritally raped by the man who murdered her father, she has no freedom to decide where she wants to go because she's a hostage while simultaneously being heir to the throne, and then she's just unceremoniously sent to Dragonstone because her mother decides it must be so.

And I think Rhaena really tries to make things better for Aerea! She encourages Aerea to claim a dragon, she clearly tries to set up a sort of court on Dragonstone, but she doesn't even know her daughter much less understand what would make her happy. They've been separated for years! Rhaena herself clearly wants a break from court to just be left alone to live her life, but Aerea has spent so long being shuffled around, being a hostage, (perhaps even training as a Septa...), that of course she doesn't want to sit still. Then Rhaena gets divorced and Aerea's stepmom leaves, and there's no other children to play with, and the ladies Rhaena keeps don't know how to care for a child nor are they interested in learning.

This is an unbelievably tense and unstable first decade or so of her life! There's just very few scenarios where these two have a healthy, stable relationship due to the incredibly instability they're in the middle of. I always go back to Rhaenys at points like this - Rhaenys who claimed a grown dragon at 16, Rhaenys who taunted her husband that she'd get to the end of the world first because she'd be flying, Rhaenys who is probably the most well adjusted Targaryen we have information on. Rhaenys has a father who likely encouraged her ~headstrong ways~ and a mother who supported and loved her. Rhaenys who had cousins to play with as she learned how to socialize with others, Rhaenys who had a grandmother to teach her. Rhaenys had a stable environment to grow up in. Rhaenys had an education befitting an heiress. If Aerea had lived in a normal (ish) environment where she has two parents, aunts and uncles, cousins all around, a dragon she's allowed to claim, status that is protected by her mother and father's own status...it would be night and day! And if Rhaena had a spouse she trusted, mentors and advisors who had even a lick of sense, a brother more interested in her happiness and less interested in completely upending her claim to protect his own...again, think of Rhaenys has a mother! Think of Laena claiming a dragon before she's 12!

Rhaena isn't ~a bad mother~ anymore than Aerea is ~a bad child~ they are simply two people who lived through stressful, traumatic situations and reacted imperfectly to those situations. They had no real support system. They moved around constantly. This was never going to end well for either of them and it's not really either of their faults.

[deathnguts]

I know the hunger games AU is owned by Jegulus or whatever because of crimson rivers but I’m gonna different and make it about Bartylus because no one can stop me so here’s a detailed summary/play by play of major events of the AU please give it a chance it’s eaten my brain

No trigger warnings under the cut besides yknow mentions of murder but it’s not graphic, there’s only a cut because it’s long as shit

(not inspired by crimson rivers really at all because I never read it) ((also implied trans regulus at the end because eveyrone that isn’t Sirius or Barty doesn’t know regulus is a man because transphobia and closets and stuff and you can pry trans regulus out of my cold dead hands))

Ok so I imagine that the pure blooded families would be from career districts, like district one (luxury goods) I imagine. And Regulus, per the rules of the game, has never been allowed to participate because Sirius already competed and won when he was sixteen and regulus was eleven. This leads to regulus becoming disillusioned to the glory of the games early on since his beloved brother did come home with the honor but he was completely changed and traumatized and claimed he only came home with his life. Regulus sees the games for the horrific blood bath they are as he grows older due to taking on being his brother’s caretaker since no one else would and Sirius completely let himself go in the throes of depression, making regulus see what the games do to even their winners first hand.

Barty, on the other hand, does not see the games for what they are and he wants nothing more than to go and to win. He’s always believed in the ideology that winning the hunger games is the ultimate honor and playing them is the ultimate rush. I imagine, in the context of this universe, his father would probably be influential enough to be involved in the inner workings of the games. And unlike any other parent involved in the planning of the games, he doesn’t rig it so his son won’t be a participant, he rigs it so he will. Knowing this, every moment that isn’t spent with regulus at Sirius’ winners home or somewhere more comfortable like in town or something, Barty is training for when he’s selected for the games (since the careers have it rigged and all.)

Regulus tries to live in denial about the fact Barty will certainly go and may not come back or maybe come back like Sirius did up until the reaping day that changes everything. Him and Barty are sixteen, just like Sirius was, when they both hear his full name get called. Barty is beaming with pride as he’s pushed up the steps and regulus can barely contain a sob. (He only does because he knows it would be out of place for a career district civilian like himself to mourn such a thing, and he doesn’t want his family thinking he’s a rebel or something.)

Regulus rushes to see Barty before he’s taken away immediately. He’s crying in Barty’s arms and holding him like there’s no tomorrow because there truly might not be. Barty is less brash and loud with his pride obviously, the love of his life is crying in his arms, but he’s not swayed enough to truly be nervous. He simply holds regulus tight and tips his chin up, smiles and tells him he shouldn’t worry because if he’s not just coming home for honor, he’s coming home to marry regulus. They’ll be together forever when Barty gets back, it’ll all be ok. Regulus tries to believe that and gives Barty his favorite of his rings off his finger as Barty’s token from home. Barty puts it on the chain he always wears as a necklace since he knows he’ll be using his hands a lot in the arena.

Once Barty’s on the quick train ride to the capitol (since district one is so close) his smile fades to an even determination and he holds the ring in his clenched fist to his lips the whole way. The other careers will poke fun at it later, seeing as how there’s no way a simple silver ring on an even simpler chain can be weaponized, but what they think doesn’t matter because Barty’s going to kill them.

Barty optimizes on his wild card persona for his training, fashion statements, and marketing himself since he knows the crowd loves a winner who gets their hands dirty. And during his interview, he speaks of how he’s going home to the love of his life and shows off his ring to get real about his near proposal to get the crowd to love him even more. Everyone loves a romance. Regulus watches from home, alone since Sirius would rather die than watch anything to do with the games. He’s shaking from his fetal position on the ground and he can only pray Barty will be right in the end.

Before anyone really knows it, the games begin. Barty gets exactly what he wanted from the blood bath (sadistic violence and securing of the cornucopia. He even takes out his ‘partner’ from district one while the other careers are busy. Because he only has one partner from district one, and he’s not in the arena.) and regulus watches with his heart beating out of his chest.

The games go on swimmingly at first. Regulus is itching to help, to send any gift Barty may need at a moments notice, but Barty truly doesn’t need anything from him since he’s monopolized all the materials. He feel useless and he’s so terrified every second of the day he curses the editors of the broadcast every time his love isn’t on the screen because what’s happening when they pan to anyone else?! Barty’s doing mostly fine for himself since the lower districts are keeping to themselves and the other careers aren’t down to the wire enough to start back stabbing yet. Until they are.

Barty sees it as luck that he’s the youngest career here, halfway naive to the extent of the rigging the games have in favor of his idealization of them. The others single him out in their heads immediately due to his age and his whole ‘lover boy’ show at the interviews. They all agreed without having to discuss that he’s the first to go the second it’s convenient.

The next week or so is spent with the careers staking out the arena and then doing organized hunts for other tributes. They all go off well, the careers always win though not without any fighting back obviously. They lose the girl from four and the guy from three, girl from three gets injured but not enough to sit out and ugh Barty’s annoyed that he has to care about any of them. The guy from two is always sending him off on his own, claiming it’s because Barty’s a ‘crazy fucker’ and it’s like sending a rabid dog to some sheep and he’s certain Barty will come back panting like one with the blood of his win on him (secretly hoping he fails and doesn’t come back at all soon.) But he does, every single time. Barty thinks it’s because he was judged right, everyone else slowly gets more wary of him when they realize he’s not the easy pickings they imagined and he may actually be a problem down the road.

With only a few stragglers from lower districts left, the other careers decide to put him down before they run out of numbers. They go for him when they think he’s asleep, but he’s not an idiot and he knows they have it out for him and he wouldn’t dare to trust them enough to sleep around them. He actually hasn’t slept in days because of it. (Regulus hasn’t either, desperately afraid that he’ll miss even a single second of what’s happening to Barty.) He’s loopy, deranged from all the sadistic heavy lifting he’s been doing. He feels like a rabid dog now more than ever as he’s literally clawing and biting his former teammates when they manage to disarm him after he fatally wounds the girl from two and she fades away without him even looking twice. He takes out the injured girl from four, no was it two? No he just killed girl from two, it had to be… one? Yeah, one. She’s easy pickings and guy from… four, seems mad about it. It’s him and two guys, four and two, and they seem pissed. It’s funny, Barty can’t stop laughing. They really think they can beat him. Hilarious.

Regulus watches in horror and Sirius jolts from his sleep four rooms down when he hears his brother scream because in Barty’s insomnia and shock induced delusions, he gets snuck up on from a boy from five that’d been with them, one Barty hadn’t even noticed. He’s stabbed literally in the back, low and a few inches from his spine with the knife they’d taken away from him earlier.

Barty freezes, but not for long before he feels the knife twist and get pulled out. He practically howls at the pain when he whips around and kicks the guy down. God damn ghost, didn’t he kill him already? He takes his knife back and some other guys come in for the kill but they’re stupid because they’re getting close to Barty and he has his knife back. Barty doesn’t clearly remember what happened next, just that three bodies fell, he got cut again in his thigh and in both his arms, and then he passed out in the pool of blood he’d created.

Drones come ti pick up three bodies, Barty isn’t one of them. He wakes up to the movement around him and he feels like hell. He’s bleeding out, fuck why hadn’t he wrapped himself up before laying down? He did lay down, right? There’s an another drone that comes in and it’s medical supplies. A lot of them. Surely from a very concerned and very wealthy donor. He uses them graciously and waits out a day, maybe two, or was it three actually? for the hurt to subside enough to hunt again. It doesn’t.

He’s drifting in and out of consciousness and he’s not even fully functioning when he’s awake. He keeps getting drones with more medical supplies and he realizes with barely half a mind they’re coming from regulus. He can barely stay awake long enough to use them and keep himself alive with the little control he has and he realizes in this lethargic time that regulus was right. He feels awful, on so many levels. What he had to do, what he did for fun, what got him here, wasn’t worth it. He wants to go home. He hopes his mind will stop being foggy and loud when he gets home.

There someone standing by him, they don’t even have a weapon. They’re looking at him with fear in their eyes, but they’re stepping closer. They’re going to kill him. Barty spits, they’re going to try. His mind is loud and his blood is louder when he’s in another scuffle with whatever stupid fucking lower district tribute the old group missed while policing the arena. Theyre rolling on the ground for any hint of an upper hand. But the tribute’s weak, clearly malnourished and too scared to be calculated because Barty gets on top easy. He has his hands around their neck for just a moment before their long ass nails are digging into his fingers- no, they’re gloves, with razors at the tips. Fuck. He involuntarily pulls back with a hiss and they’re on top of him again. He’s not going out like this.

He kicks them on their back with his good leg and they gasp from the air knocking out of them on impact. He doesn’t have time to get their gloves off before they get their breath back, but he does have time to yank his necklace over his head and over theirs. They struggle and he flips them over to get his thighs on their upper arms to stop their death hands. Their razor fingers are digging into every inch of him they can and he barely feels the pain. Their movements slow and their eyes tear up as silver wrings out their last breath. Barty’s declared the winner. Was that really the last tribute?

It must have been, because he’s hauled out of the arena and into the capitol. Or at least, tried to, because he distantly remembers the terror and adrenaline in him not subsiding soon enough for him to trust the capital people come to retrieve him and he has to be put to sleep because he lunges at one of them. He wakes up and they’ve healed him completely with their capital tech and he wants to go home. There’s the after game interview he can’t hear over the buzzing in his ears and he tells them he wants to go home. He sees his father shortly after since he oversees things like the interviews and Barty tells him he wants to go home.

When he finally does, he could cry from just the sight of his regulus waiting for him right when the train doors open. And he does when he finally has him in his arms again. The two sob together on the ground and they hold each other like lifelines. It takes hours for them to calm down enough to even walk to the car to go home, and they do so pressed close with their hands intertwined. They huddle together in the car, and then they huddle together in bed the second their home. Regulus tells Barty he was right, Barty tells regulus he was right.

They’re both beyond shaken and traumatized from the games, Barty on behalf of eveyrthing he did and what was done to him and regulus because he had to watch. But they’re together now, and there’s never a moment in the future the public will ever them not. They’re shaken and attached at the hip at all times, agoraphobic and terrified of other people in case theyre a threat.

But the capital waits for none and they want a wedding. There was a buzz about it ever since Barty was in the top two for four days. And then when the crowd saw the psycho lover boy choking the last tribute in his way with his ‘wedding’ ring? Oh, now they can’t be stopped. The pair are rushed to the capital again and they cling to each other for dear life. Their wedding is completely planned already when they arrive, surely by game orchestrators and excited producers like their marriage is just an after party for the games. The overly eager crowd of make up artists and designers try to rush them apart for dressing and Barty nearly bites them, so they forgo the tradition of making the groom wait to see the bride in ‘her’ gown.

The crowd isn’t too upset because the display is a testaments to the capital’s newest favorite couples’ unconditional, inseparable love that defied every odd. And that’s the theme of the night. Hundreds of guests neither of the lovers know swarming them with praises and questions about how sad it was to watch their lover almost die and how sweet it was he didn’t and are they going to have children soon and wow double immunity for the baby when it does come with the Black and Crouch winners as uncle and father and-

It takes a near breaking point, luck, and a distraction from Sirius (who’s been itching to fuck with the crowd all night after being forced to be here) for the couple to get away for just a moment to breathe. It’s all so jarring, Barty was dying just two days ago and he got regulus back only a little after that and it’s all so much, too much and it’s so loud. But they’re married now, which he wanted; he’s alive, which he wanted; he’s home in regulus’ presence, which he desperately wanted.

Regulus looks beautiful in the sparkling white dress Barty’s games designer made for him, Barty apologizes that he has to be seen by so many people in it. Regulus says it was inevitable, Barty says it’s still not right. Regulus asks what is. Barty doesn’t answer for a moment. They sigh and hug each other close like they’d been doing non stop every chance they could for the past twenty eight hours. Barty murmurs that in everything that’s happened, in everything he’s done, the only thing that’s remained right since the start is regulus, his love for him more specifically. Regulus snorts a little and teases that he sounds like he’s going to propose. Barty doesnt respond for a moment. Then he’s pulling away from the embrace and regulus almost jumps but Barty doesn’t go far when he gets on one knee and pulls his token necklace from under his suit and over his head and smiles up at Regulus’s dumbfounded face.

Regulus Black, love of my life, my only light in the dark, would you do me the honor-

Yes.

He’s crying, they’re both crying. But it’s better. Everything’s better. Barty’s home, he made it home. They’ll be safe and sound at home.

[blacklegsanjiii]

Do I love Reiju a whole lot? Yes. Do I also love to gave Sanji even more trauma? YES!

So here am I, with a new universe: Evil!Reiju au!

Reiju is still born with emotions, but there two things: 1) she has so little emotions that they're almost nonexistent 2) the little feelings and personality she has are from Judge.

So yeah, instaed of a caring and kind old sister Reiju who feels so much, we have a Reiju who is cruel and manipulative and pretends to care about Sanji. She treats Sanji like he is nothing more than a toy who she can simply play with it's feelings, and not like it's her damn little brother.

But she puts on an act. Reiju uses (fake) sweet words and (fake) gentle touches to make the blonde trust her. Subtly hurting him when she's bored.

Then the dunsheon, where her mask finally falls. Of course, completely breaking what was left of Sanji's heart. During the next two years, even if she doesn't beat him, her cruel words hurt just as much.

After Sanji runs away, he doesn't trust no one. It's just on the rock, 2 years after, that he starts to trust this man who was unrealistic kind. They're rescued from the rock and Zeff starts to treat him like an actual father would treat a son. This always makes Sanji's heart warm and give him the need to cry a little because for the first time since his mother died someone truly loves him.

Sanji is still gentle with women, but not much like canon. He would fight one if needed and, actually, he's kinda afraid of them deep down and a little uncomfortable, too. Zeff don't know the whole thing but he knows his eggplant have been through a traumatic thing and he can't and wouldn't never blame him, he would be a shame of a father and an idiot if he did.

Then Sanji joins the StrawHats because, curiously, something inside his stitched heart tells him he should. And Sanji follows his heart.

Things go pretty much like canon. With some differences, like: East Blue Polycule happens, Sanji is always suspicious of everyone (all the crew notices this, so at least one of them always is with him when the ship stops at some island and less gentle over women.

Then the TimeSkip, where WCI happens. Reiju still puts the fake cuffs but this time with the intentions of messing with her brother's mind. She makes little threats about exploding his hands and/or poisoning, and it's until they're almost leaving Whole Cake and she tells the cuffs are fake.

Also I need 0 & 3ji to have a argument who is like "You're too emotional, Sanji" "Maybe I am, but you never about me at all, Reiju" "Why would I care about a worthless failure?" "... I thought you cared about me, you always acted like you did before the thing" at the end of the arc. With the Sanji rescue team watching and looking at Reiju with anger.

They go at Wano and everything happens. Then after the fight Luffy, Brook, Chopper and Nami ask about the argument and Sanji tells to the whole crew, because the other also want to know. He tells them about his childhood, how Reiju pretended to care for him. The dunsheon and how cruel she actually was.

All the StrawHats think that Reiju is nothing more than a cruel people.

Okay, I love this, but I think it would forever fuck with Sanji and women moreso than you think? And like his whole relationship with Nami is probably so fucking skewed? Jesus. She's needlessly cruel and just manipulates the shit out of Sanji constantly. He would be bending over backwards to get any smidge of affection from her until his escape but is so terrified of just disappointing her that it is just negatively impacts his expression towards women so much that Sanji inevitably just is so scared of them and so his immediate reaction is to fawn.

Reiju notices it's more fun to her to toy with Sanji like a doll when she's young and Judge encourages it since it's just to the failure. It's not like anything wrong will happen. She's subtle about the way she hurts, sharp words and back handed compliments to that ache and sting the blond's heart when he's just a child, turning to outright malicious intent when she finds Sanji in the dungeon because he's supposed to be dead and the words. Sanji tries to be good so she can get him out but she just tells him this is where failures belong if not in the ground. She doesn't understand how their mother loved such a failure because it's impossible. Still, when she visits, he tries. He tries until he manages to escape and run away, helmet weighing heavily on him. But he's freed from Germa and the helmet and he starts working and keeps to himself. He doesn't trust anyone and doesn't believe himself worthy of Zeff's sacrifice. He doesn't understand why someone would sacrifice so much for a failure like him.

When it comes to fighting women Sanji would really prefer not to. They talk sweet and it sends him spiraling more of than not. Zeff is actually concerned about how Sanji's reaction to women slapping him. Sanji will fight back after a few hits but his preference for not fighting women is huge and he's more trying to calm them down and please them than argue or fight back. He looks afraid more often than not and when women do compliment him he doesn't believe them, not that he believes a lot of people at first but with the men he believes eventually, but he never believes the women who compliment his food. It's like he's afraid of women. He fawns for over them but flinches away from them, no matter what the crew does to make him more confident with women there's just something lying underneath the surface and they don't know what.

When Sanji joins the Strawhat crew and after Arlong Park, Nami notices he's wary around her and starts taking it personally until she notices it's just every woman he's like that with. Vivi, the vendors, every woman. Her and the other boys are already dating at this point and they're debating on the best way to approach the subject. Sanji doesn't seem like he'll be that receptive to a conversation about it, he noticeably tenses when Vivi calls out to them before relaxing and then flinches when Robin makes her presence known. But she acts differently towards Sanji, she offers small smiles and plain words, not praise though nor does she demand anything from him. Robin eases Sanji's tension with women, it looks so easy for them to be around each other but she moves slow and announces her presence in a quiet tone. When they ask Robin about it she only smiles in answer and walks away. Sanji starts dating the rest of the East Blue crew after Ennies Lobby, he's calmer and the crew protective, at least one person is always with him it seems. He tries not to flinch when Nami moves to fast towards him and apologizes when he does. But he does that for everyone, but his partners especially. There's just something they can't quite place what happened.

Until after the timeskip and WCI happens. When the rescue team meets Reiju and Yonji they wish them luck in saving the failure, Reiju has a sickly sweet smile that's all saccharine and she and Yonji laugh about how it's unlikely Sanji will be alive as they leave and the crew is confused and scared. Like it's some sort of joke, Sanji's life is a joke. Of course Reiju is also watching her brothers beat the failure up and not helping, she jokes about poisoning him and threatens to take him away so the cuffs will explode his hands, says she'll say she found him running. Sanji can just feel everything like he's a child all over again, the pain, the words, the hurt of his family not loving him over and over again almost as bad as it was. Then he hears Pudding and Reiju talk about killing him and they're laughing at him and Sanji gives up, goes to find his captain who he beat the shit out of and is just....crying and sobbing. Nami and Luffy are concerned about what's going on but they'll deal with everything after they save Sanji, when they reunite with the other two. Sanji still insists on saving them and Luffy and Nami don't like it but do as he wishes. During the escape Sanji is worried about his hands when Reiju points out he was a fun toy but the cuffs are fake, they won't take his hands. It was just more fun to make him think they would.

"Maybe if you weren't so emotional it wouldn't be so fun." Reiju smiles at him.

"So what if I am? You all never cared about me at all!" Sanji yells back with a broken voice.

"I don't know why anyone would, you're just a failure. Loving you seems exceptionally difficult, but what would I know?" Reiju laughs.

"You did when we were kids. Until-"

"No, I didn't." Reiju cuts him off. "You're a toy, Sanji. Nothing more, but all the less." Reiju waves off as she leaves and everyone is appalled at what was said. Nami and Luffy are holding Sanji is trying to be brave for them. When they make it to Wano Luffy runs and finds their partners and starts telling them about Reiju and Judge and how awful they were to Sanji and Usopp points out that it explains a lot about Sanji. Zoro is seething and says he should have been there, because he and Usopp are hearing only what Luffy and Nami heard not anything from Sanji. Sanji seems to be trying to avoid the topic of conversation for the most part and they can't exactly stick together in Wano so that makes it ten times worse for Zoro who can't exactly get information from the cook until after he wakes up from the raid. The cook is buried in a cuddle puddle and Usopp is telling his wild stories to try to ease the tension as he combs through Sanji's hair and Zoro is growling about going to kill his birth family.

[lurksunderthebed]

Ghoap Analysis/Meta (2.5)

The Evolution of GhostSoap Redux

Finally finishing Codmwii (22), via discussion of "Ghost Team" and "Countdown".

Discussing Ghost's face reveal and what it means to his character motivations/backstory.

Part (2.5/?) out of a series.

Brief mentions of MWIII. Practically spoiler free.

Please read the Alt text.

As I said more or less in my previous post, "Ghost Team" and "Countdown" doesn't have as many GhostSoap interactions by virtue of having the whole gang altogether again.

But what we do have however is the final evolution of Ghost as Trusting Teammate Ghost and a teasing look at our favourite masked character's face.

In this post, there'll be less analysis based on dialogue and more speculation/assumptions so take that as you may.

So let's look at "Ghost Team".

Ghost Team

Price: Alright, listen - We are taking back your HQ. We are getting our prisoner. We are killing Commander Graves.

Rodolfo: When?

Ghost: Now.

Price: This is a fight against our own... We are not 141 and Los Vaqueros on this. We're a team...

Ghost empties a bag full of skull masks onto the table.

Price: ...Ghost Team.

Ghost removes his mask in front of everyone, although the camera shows only the back of his head. Price nods and smiles at Ghost.

Price: Good to see you again, Simon.

Price removes his boonie hat.

Price: If you're in, take a mask... If you're not... Don't.

Everyone around the table takes a skull mask. The camera circles around Rodolfo, Gaz, Soap, Alejandro, Price, and finally Ghost as they put on their masks.

"Ghost Team" is bluntly named after Ghost finally deciding, hey these are all trustworthy guys and I'll show you the proof of my trust, by extending trust via face reveal. It's an extension of his previous statement in "Prison Break" that, "We're a team... all of us". It's like a switch with Ghost; once he decides to trust someone, to really consider them as Team, he proves it with his actions.

I know many out there were disappointed by Ghost showing his face to everyone, in fact I was too. In some ways it does feel a bit like whiplash to have Ghost struggle so hard to trust Soap and then in a span of 16 traumatic hours, he takes off his mask in front of all everyone. Remember this isn't just Rudy/Ale and 141, this is also a bunch of random soldiers from Los Vaqueros who were imprisoned seeing his face.

So why does he do that? And more importantly, does Ghost actually trust all of Los Vaqueros and Gaz as much as he now comes to trust Soap and Price?

To answer that we have to look at why Ghost might have decided to take off his mask, his thought process on doing so and the events leading up to this.

Let's go back to the cutscene before the whole reveal:

These are two separate frames that we are shown while Price is talking to Shepherd. We have Soap, Gaz, Alejandro and Ghost listening in.

Now this is again all interpretation and assumptions, but if you look closely, Ghost is noticeably a fair distance away from the rest of the gang.

For a guy who is extending a lot of trust by showing his face in the next scene, it's interesting that he's still framed as a man somewhat separate from the bunch. I know the framing was partially because showing all 4 men distinctly would mean placing them neatly like that.

But putting that aside, they could've placed Ghost closer to Soap. He could've taken Alejandro's spot on the opposite side of the table. It would make sense to group all of 141 closer together. Ghost has worked with Gaz since 2020 in Verdansk. They've known each other for 2 years already while Ghost has only known Alejandro (and los Vaqueros) for a whopping 5 days.

Again, they didn't. Personally, given how much the game relies on framing to indirectly inform players of character relationships, I'm going to read into this probably deeper than it's supposed to be.

One way to look at it, is that Ghost still isn't completely trusting of the rest. He still holds himself apart from the rest. Physical positioning actually does matter when we look at Ghost because 9 out of 10 times it isn't what Ghost is saying that matters insofar as what the man is actually DOING that determines his motivations.

It says a lot that the game decided to frame Soap and Gaz together and yet Ghost isn't placed closer to Price nor Soap—the two men we know he is the closest to.

Potentially, we can infer that Ghost taking off his mask in the next scene was a bigger leap of faith than thought before.

Ghost has decided to trust men (random Los Vaqueros) that he maybe hasn't personally talked to before. It's quite the jump, especially since we know that he STILL holds himself apart from everyone (even Price&Soap).

There's a couple ways we can look at why Ghost decided to do the face reveal.

Maybe Ghost showing his face happens more than we think and that's why it was so easy for him to reveal his face? Perhaps Ghost freely takes off his mask on his downtime and only truly cares about it being on or off while he's working.

It's possible. There's no way to determine Ghost's actions outside of him on duty. But even that doesn't fit right with the fact that we see him all masked up and bundled in layers in the bar scene at the end of this game and at the end of MWIII. Both times he could've gone with something more casual looking and less anon if he truly was someone a bit different than how he presents himself on the job.

Granted, the times we do see him in a more casual context, he's with his co-workers so it's not quite the fairest assumption to make. Perhaps he separates who he is with people who know him as Ghost with who he is when people don't.

But given what we have and what we already know of the man, I think it's fair to assume that how Ghost is in-game is probably how he acts when he's off duty.

After all, the one person (Price) who knows Ghost as both, the LT still isn't that close to. There's respect and trust but the casual joking friendship you see between Price and Laswell isn't there. That might be more on the fact that Price is still Ghost's superior so maybe the man just likes to keep their relationship on a strictly hierarchical basis. (Yes, I know Ghost jokes at Price in MWIII, but that was arguably more for Soap and also at Price's expense).

We know that showing his face isn't something Ghost does habitually. Soap hasn't seen it before and they've worked together for 3 years already, 2 of which they were in the SAME taskforce. They had to have seen each other a fair bit considering that Soap, Ghost and Gaz are apparently the only 141 operatives.

If there were more 141 operatives, I would expect them to come out in MWIII especially with the whole Makarov/brink of war thing, so unless any new info comes out I'm assuming that 141 is just Price, Ghost, Soap and Gaz with random loaned soldiers to pad their ranks when needed on missions.

So why does Ghost decide to take off his mask if him showing his face isn't a casual thing when he's off duty, nor does he fully trust PEOPLE as a whole?

Honestly, I see this as a massive leap of faith/hope and Ghost wanting to see things done right this time around.

As I said previously where I somewhat go into Ghost's backstory, there's an implication with Mace's inclusion that there was/is a unit of 'Ghost' styled operatives who might have all worn the ghost mask. Added with the fact that the reboot likes to take a lot of character depth from the older popular games in the franchise, it's not a stretch to assume Mace and Ghost being teammates are a nod to Ghost squad in cod: ghosts.

We know there was a betrayal of sorts, potentially one that might have involved those fellow ghosts. Mace left the unit and there's an ominous, "things are very different now" statement by the dev about Ghost and Mace's time as teammates.

Perhaps the title "Ghost Team" wasn't so much named after the man, Simon "Ghost" Riley, but rather after the 'Ghost' unit that Ghost and Mace were on.

Maybe Price calling them all "Ghost Team" was actually referencing that unit.

This is based on assumptions but hear me out.

We know Price obviously knows what Ghost looks like. The captain references the LT by name a couple times before: when talking about him to Laswell in the ending scene in 2019, in Verdansk (via comms) in 2020 and now here after Ghost takes off his mask. There's a relationship in between the lines that suggests that Price knew him before Simon Riley ever became Ghost.

Therefore we can also assume that Price also knows what happened to Ghost and potentially the details of that unnamed unit as his current direct superior. With Price's connections and his casual disregard for rules, I'd be surprised if he wasn't familiar with that hypothetical Ghost squad.

I think the biggest nod to this, is Price having on hand a bunch of skull balaclavas. He could've gone with plain balaclavas if just being anonymous was the concern, but didn't; the choice of a skull pattern was deliberate. This was potentially planned out prior to Price's rescue of the group in "Prison Break".

Unless Ghost just randomly keeps 6+ extra skully balaclavas on his body at all times, it's most likely Price that brought the balaclavas with him.

There probably wasn't enough time for Ghost to communicate to Price of Shepherd's betrayal and thus their need to hide their faces to fight the general. In "Alone", the LT even mentions it to Soap that they have to rely on themselves and not Price or Laswell. Heck at that point, Ghost didn't even trust Laswell. Only Price, Soap and everyone that got betrayed was deemed 'safe'.

I suppose Ghost could have sent a message to Price that they were going to break Alejandro out at the safehouse, but I'm not entirely sure there was enough time for that between everything that happened and Soap's injury. Plus Ghost and Soap were surprised to hear Price on comms. If Ghost was sure Price was going to show up, I doubt he would hide it from Rudy. And even if he knew the captain would come, it's likely he would change their plan to factor in Price's arrival. Therefore we can say that this was most likely all Price's initial plan. Not Ghost's.

Price clearly knew that to defeat Graves and Shepherd, they would have to 'go dark' so to speak. Obviously showing their faces would make the group war criminals. Naturally that meant they would have to emulate a unit that was probably well known to do missions completely anonymously without any country, rules of engagement, or signifier outside the skull mask. An international unit that carried out presumably the blackest of ops would be a perfect fit.

And to make it even more authentic, they have a member who was/is a part of that special group. Now the title of a game serves two purposes. Referencing Ghost's change from lone wolf to teammate as well as a call back to cod: ghosts.

So again, if this was Price's idea why does Ghost go along with it?

Well harking back to what I said earlier, it's assumed that Ghost has been betrayed by potentially his own ghostly teammates.

Ghost coming up to this point had no idea anyone other than Price, Soap and Los Vaqueros were trustworthy.

But then the events of "Alone" and "Prison Break" happen and Ghost sees Laswell being, "still solid as a rock". He gets rescued by Price unexpectedly. Soap shows that outsiders can be trusted by proving Ghost wrong about all his initial suppositions. Everything Ghost said to caution Soap— them not being able to rely on Price, them not trusting Laswell, Soap surviving, all of them were proven false.

And from seeing that, perhaps the man decides he wants to overturn his past experiences with betrayal to something better. Because now Ghost has hope. What else could he be proven wrong about?

This hodgepodge ghost squad might be a catharsis for Ghost in the sense that this time, he can get some revenge for being betrayed. He can have solid 'ghost team' members who have his back (unlike previously). He can let himself have a team again, with all the vulnerable trust that is implied with letting himself be a part of a team.

So Ghost taking off the mask makes more sense when we look at it as him trying to redo his own past as well. He is asking the rest of them to trust him by extending trust back (by showing his face).

But again that's just a theory. A video game theory.😎

I could be very wrong with everything here. It could just as well be as simple as Ghost after finding love trust from Soap, is so moved by the power of love trust that he felt compelled to take the next step in teamhoodness. Again, by asking the bunch to trust him by showing his identity.

The masks and the naming could just be based on Ghost and his apparently infamous legend. The guy has a bit of an ego about his skills. Maybe this plan was hatched by Ghost and Price together, and the LT wanted his ego stroked by having everyone dress up as him.

I also wouldn't put it past the man to randomly have 6 spare balaclavas on him at all times. He wears SKELETON GLOVES for god's sake. The guy is truly committed to the bit. Maybe he really is that eccentric/well prepared.

Who knows.

What we do have however, is the fact that Ghost taking off his mask was an action of trust and vulnerability. An action that wouldn't have happened without Soap being there and being his snarky lovable self.

Without Soap proving himself and working together with Ghost it's doubtful whether the LT would've opened up enough to show his face.

But enough of that. Lets talk GhostSoap interactions. It's sparse but boy do they stare at each other like no tomorrow.

It does feel a bit like grasping at straws to go, 'THEY'RE STARING AT EACH OTHER YOUR HONOUR. THAT MEANS ITS DEFFO LOVE!!! LOOK AT THEM SPARKS FLY!!!!'

But we've already established that stares are a form of wordless communication between the two. The game did it forcibly, by framing shots in each other's perspectives CONSTANTLY. This isn't the only time they've been long gazing into each other's eyes for an amount of time that would normally be uncomfortable for anyone else.

Soap is placed directly across from Ghost. The game wanted us to see Soap's expression when it pans teasingly behind Ghost's back and you're only left seeing Gaz, Soap, Alejandro and Price. This was all deliberate.

From start to finish, Soap barely takes his eyes off of Ghost. Even when Price is explaining things, Soap is very obviously looking Ghost's way. And Ghost is quite obviously staring back at Soap.

What could they be communicating between them here?

Well from Soap's expression on the third picture, it kind of looks like the sergeant is grinning. No doubt thinking back on his words where he flirts tells Ghost to show his face. Maybe Soap is stuck on the truth of Ghost's boasting. That Ghost really isn't an ugly guy at all. Quite the opposite indeed.

Really, it could be a multitude of things. One thing for certain is that we can see that they're both caught on each other from the very start of the conversation.

The funniest thing is that this isn't the first and last time we see Ghost and Soap seemingly ignore everything around them but each other. It happens in the cutscene in "Alone", here in "Ghost Team" and later in MWIII multiple times.

We can sort of excuse it here because this is the very first time Soap gets a look at Ghost's face in 3 years of working with each other. Anyone would be staring like the other would disappear in that circumstance.

Every other time though? Yeah... It suggests something very non-platonic in nature about their relationship. Let's not forget that they only really do this with each other. Not Gaz nor Price elucidates this sort of behaviour from either man. Both of them have a staring habit but it only seems to activate when the other is there.

Unfortunately, this whole cutscene was pretty much it for notable Ghost and Soap interactions in this mission. As I said earlier, "Ghost Team" doesn't have a lot of meaningful GhostSoap interactions. That can be said of "Countdown" as well, but we do get a few choice bits.

Let's look at "Countdown":

Countdown

Rodolfo closes the vehicle door as he and Alejandro turn to Soap.

Alejandro: Go... You have work to do.

Soap shakes hands with Alejandro and Rodolfo.

Soap: Keep fighting the good fight, hermano.

Alejandro: To the bitter end, my brother.

Rodolfo: Good luck, amigos.

Soap turns to go on the transport plane and taps Ghost on the shoulder to motion him to go as well.

Alejandro: Ghost...

Ghost turns around to face Alejandro.

Alejandro: No te pierdas, carnal. (Don't get lost, brother.)

Ghost: A huevo. (Of course.)

Alejandro and Rodolfo smile and laugh as Ghost boards the plane. The doors to the ramp close shut.

Now this scene is interesting when we contrast the Ghost of "Kill or Capture" to the Ghost now. The Ghost at the beginning of the game visibly hated being fistbumped. The Ghost now, doesn't seem to bat an eye at it. For a man that seems to treasure his personal space, this is a big moment. Soap is now solidly in the rarified group of (2!) members that are allowed to touch Ghost (without getting glared/intense side eyed back). The other being Price of course.

Let me reiterate that this whole process only took 7 days.

This is also compounded with Ghost actually engaging in friendly conversation with Alejandro and Rudy. If at the beginning of "Cartel Protection" where we see Ghost more or less stonewall any sort of friendly jokes/banter, here we see Ghost actually respond positively. He even raises a fist in a total bro gesture. 🥹 Antisocial Ghost who's him?

This is further reinforced when we look at the usage of Spanish by non native speakers. Notably Soap, Ghost and Graves.

Soap's Spanish usage is used to denote affection/care from Soap to Alejandro/Rudy. We know that Soap cares about Rudy and Alejandro because he makes an effort to ask personal questions about them AND tries to learn/use their language.

Graves by contrast uses it too. But none of that is meant affectionately. When we do see it, he's mocking Los Vaqueros and taunting them over the loss of their base.

And reflective of Ghost, the LT doesn't even mutter a word of Spanish at all to Rudy or Alejandro. His non usage is used to imply how he intentionally distances himself from everyone.

In "Cartel Protection", they asked Soap and Ghost whether they knew any Spanish. Throughout the game we see Soap learning and using Spanish to the delight of Alejandro and Rudy. Ghost did not join in to that cultural/language learning at any point up until this key moment here.

Perhaps Ghost was actively learning Spanish as well, paying more attention/care than anyone would've thought. Or maybe Ghost being the secretive troll he is, might have already known the language to some degree and refused to reveal it to Ale/Rudy. Which ever reason behind it, this scene was the perfect moment to show how far Ghost has come since 7 days ago.

From arrival via transport plane and instantly stonewalling Soap from making any jokes, to now leaving via the same transport plane and revealing something about himself—it's like deja vu except Ghost is the only thing different. The lightning is even the same. Ghost has been changed by the past events. His motivations now are evolving and expanding into something a little more friend shaped.

But sadly, that's the last time we see Ghost and Soap physically together since we see Ghost has been put on overwatch for the millionth time in Chicago.

We do however get some delightful exchanges at the end of the mission:

Soap: It's detonated.

Laswell: Copy that. Air Force will confirm. Thank you, Sergeant.

Soap: Yeah... Pleasure doin' business with ya, Laswell.

Laswell: Where's Hassan?

Soap: Not alone- he's got AQ guards with him. I'm gonna kill every one of 'em... and then I'm going for him. Out here.

Soap moves throughout the construction floor evading Al-Qatala guards.

Soap: Steamin' bloody fuckin'...

Ghost: Nicely done, Johnny. Now for the hard part.

Soap: That was the fucking hard part, L.T...

Ghost: Let's find out. You need to stay alive, take out the guards, and kill Hassan.

Soap: I just need a weapon.

Ghost: Make one.

Soap: Aye. Like old times, huh, L.T.?

Ghost: Seems like yesterday...

Soap: It was yesterday...

Ghost and Soap fall back into snarking at each other during critical moments. What's interesting is that because Ghost is on overwatch and we see Soap work with Price and Gaz, we now have a chance to compare [Ghost and Soap], [Price and Soap] and [Laswell and Soap].

There's an odd thought rattling around that Soap could just be a very flirty person by nature. He likes to buck authority. Maybe Soap snarks back to all his superiors.

But we find that might not be true at all, because Soap doesn't snark at Price ever. Not here in mwii(22), not in "Flashpoint" in 2019 and not at any time in mwiii(23).

Gaz actually jokes more with Price than Soap ever does with the captain. And that's wild because according to the official bio, Price has known Soap since the sergeant was 18! Soap and Price's relationship go wayyy back. To our knowledge it's the longest official relationship we know between any of the characters. Maybe Soap's relationship to Price is more respectful/devoid of any back talk?

Regardless, Soap doesn't pull any of that towards Price. He actually snarks more to Laswell and their relationship started around 2019/20 when the taskforce was formed.

We see this here with Soap in an echo of what was to come in mwiii(23):

Laswell: Copy that. Air Force will confirm. Thank you, Sergeant.

Soap: Yeah... Pleasure doin' business with ya, Laswell.

Laswell: Where's Hassan?

Laswell thanks Soap. To which Soap snarks back happily. Laswell shuts down any jokes and moves the convo back to more pressing matters.

Contrast this convo with Ghost congratulating Soap and then starting the snark up first cause he can't help himself:

Ghost: Nicely done, Johnny. Now for the hard part.

Soap: That was the fucking hard part, L.T...

I honestly think the snark came out of Ghost from all the sheer worry the LT had. Remember that Ghost jokes to distract himself and Soap. This is another extension of that.

When we look at this as a whole, we can read it as further framing of Ghost and Soap's relationship as something unique, something special to only them. Out of all the superiors Soap has ever been directly under, it's only Ghost that seems to snark back. They egg each other on and we see this with each successive line in the dialogue bit:

Soap: I just need a weapon.

Ghost: Make one.

Soap: Aye. Like old times, huh, L.T.?

Ghost: Seems like yesterday...

Soap: It was yesterday...

Soap doesn't really joke back to Price (though we don't see them interact outside of extremely critical time sensitive missions so it's a little debatable). Laswell sort of tolerates it, but forcibly moves the subject.

It's Ghost who previously ignored Soap, that entertains and even encourages him to snark.

Soap isn't like this with Alejandro, Rudy or Gaz. We see (1) instance of Soap being pouty about Gaz being right (for once) in MWIII and that's all we really see of Gaz and Soap's relationship to be frank.

We also don't see Soap snarking at Alejandro or Rudy. The one time we saw Soap quip back at anyone, it was at Graves specifically during the tank scene. And that snark was meant murderously of course.

On the other hand, It feels like Ghost and Soap could go on forever trading banter at each other for hours.

And they somewhat do when the mission suddenly becomes a crafting survival game at the end. It becomes a little segment similar to "Alone" where you have Ghost encouraging Soap to murder better via helpful tips about how to do so.

There's a call and response thing going on with the two of them. Every time Soap says something, there's an automatic response from Ghost. And we see this especially so, at the very end of the game:

Soap: Ghost...

Ghost: Soap...

Soap: Watch the window...

The window blows apart and Hassan walks up to Soap.

Hassan: We are not attacking...

Hassan hauls Soap up to his feet and brings him to his face.

Hassan: We are invading...

The scene shifts to Ghost on the rooftop of his building as he deploys his MCPR-300 sniper rifle and aims at the floor where Soap and Hassan are located. He sees Hassan hauling Soap over to the window preparing to drop him to his death. At this point, the player must shoot Hassan before Hassan can push Soap out of the building.

Ghost fires a shot that hits Hassan in the head. Hassan collapses to the ground, dead. Soap drops to his knees and looks at Hassan before looking back to Ghost's position.

Soap: Perfect shot, L.T.

Ghost: You called it, Sergeant. All stations- Hassan's down. Enemy KIA.

Like "Alone", which literally was just yesterday for them, all Soap and Ghost have to say is their names and one of them will respond similarly. It's like they're a perfect pair meant to always be framed together. We are introduced to these characters together and we see the depth of who they are as characters in contrast to one another. (I'm not counting warzone because Ghost/Soap being there was equivalent to a fun Easter egg tbh)

And finally we get to the circular ending of mwii(22). It ends like how it starts. The game itself starts in Ghost's perspective with a missile strike to kill general Ghorbrani. We are in Ghost's perspective looking through a scope to confirm the target.

Here at the end, we are in Ghost's perspective after looking down another scope to kill Hassan.

Except this time Ghost isn't solo.

SoapAndGhost worked together for everything to end happily. It's in the text explicitly. Soap praises Ghost on his perfect shot. Ghost is like, noo, you called it. It's a regular ole praise hot potato here.

From beginning Ghost (who works alone) to end Ghost (who works with Soap): the heart and soul of this game is centred on these two. The big emotional breakthrough is Ghost's evolution from lone wolf to devoted teammate.

Whatever people might think about the nature of their relationship, it's unmistakable how important these two are to each other in-universe, but also just when we look at how the game was written. These two are the crux of MWII.

If MW19 was emotionally centred on Farah's backstory and her growth as a character in which we see her literally grow from child to freedom fighter, MWII was emotionally centred on Ghost learning how to trust (outsiders) and be a part of a team again.

It's really no wonder people like to ship Ghost and Soap when the game is focused on their particular relationship. From the framing to the dialogue, this was all deliberate. The shots had to be created/animated, the dialogue had to be written (no ad lib from what it sounds). There was a reason to have all these borderline non-platonic cutscenes/lines. And again I'll thank everyone there who had a hand in those choices.

They took what could have been a very dudebro game into something that appealed to a larger (feminine) audience by making choices that went against the grain of what a typical fps game does. Especially one so painfully mainstream.

Thanks game devs for creating such compelling characters/relationships. You really did us a solid by making it.

Now the next thing to look at is this: How has Ghost and Soap's relationship changed between mwii(22) to mwiii(23)?

That's a tough question. There are differences though those are best talked about in comparison to how we see Ghost and Soap in 2019, 2022 and then to 2023. There's sadly nothing truly explicit and all we have to look at is context, stares and little touches. Which still is enough to sink our teeth into in my humble shipper opinion.

But if anything, given how little time mwiii(23) had to bake, I'm glad that there was an effort to at least sub textually in the dialogue try to communicate Ghost and Soap's relationship.

We could have had zero relationship growth in mwiii(23) guys. I'll forever be glad we got the tidbits we do have over literally nothing.

Does this mean I think mwiii(23) was a good game that did Ghost and Soap's relationship justice?

No.

But I actually don't think it was completely the worst. And looking back at certain dialogue choices after going through mwii(22), there was some reasoning behind it. Which somewhat makes the ending better, though I'm still bitter about the whole nonsensical plot.

Anyway. Thanks for reading my stupidly long post, anyone who's still tuned into the whole thing, you have my endless gratitude. 💕💕💕🥺

And thanks to all the gifers out there to make my life easier for these posts. You guys are the real troopers. 🫡

Part 3 will prob take a good time that might not happen anytime soon because I keep on getting side tracked with writing/plot bunnies. Sorry guys 😔

+

Also sidenote, I have my own thoughts on why the game chose to not have Ghost join in the killing of Graves and instead have Soap and Rudy do it. My ghost squad theory is admittedly weaker when we see the game deliberately choose them (not Ghost) to get revenge. But honestly, it was always going to be the player character insert (Soap) and one of Los Vaqueros. Not Soap and Ghost. After all, it's Los Vaqueros that had their base taken over. It makes narrative sense for one of them to help end it as well.

[sokovianfortune]

hello . i would like to talk about my own sexuality/relationship headcanons for the wbn trio since it’s a topic of conversation today :3

jack and elsa are both bisexual. this is a semi-recent discovery for both of them, given that most of elsa’s sexual partners have been women and most of jack’s sexual and romantic partners have been men. had they been asked about their sexualities pre-special, they’d both probably identify themselves as some flavor of gay (here meaning same-sex attracted, rather than an umbrella term like queer!). there is a reason why i have referred to the two of them running into each other in the maze as The Bisexual Jumpscare.

jack is also asexual! he’s not particularly sex-repulsed, he just largely views sex as a bonding activity and a way to make his partner feel good/express romantic love. this is fine by ted because uhh. i mean. let’s all be honest with ourselves here, it is very doubtful that my man has a libido anymore or the hardware to make it happen.

on the other end of the spectrum, you have elsa who only rarely indulged in sex as a way to scratch the human need itch. most of her past partners were one-night stands and she never stuck around for long, either way. but, once she and jack got together, her libido went fucking haywire and now she’s constantly (willingly!) dragging him into ulysses’s old bed chambers. good for her. good for them.

ted only the other hand is Gay gay. he did have a wife pre-transformation as per comics canon but, at the time they were married, he hadn’t really realized or even explored that particular facet of himself. workaholic scientist, yknow. he was operating under the typical “oh i guess i have to get married now because that’s what people Of My Age do.” there also might have been some period-accurate comphet involved, depending on how old he actually is.

ironically and perhaps to metatextually lean into monsters being queer-coded, becoming what he is now, while obviously a traumatic experience at the time, eventually allowed ted the freedom to explore this facet of himself and become comfortable with it.

jack and ted call each other husbands. they are not legally married. it just kind of started as a bit one day and it stuck. at what point did it stop being a bit? they don’t know and have not addressed it. jack would love to wear a ring regardless but he’s very worried about accidentally severing a finger if he forgets to take it off before the full moon.

on the hand, if anyone refers to jack as anything less neutral than elsa’s partner, she Will start gagging. she is forty one years old, she is nobody’s fucking girlfriend. wife is also off the table. she’d get married for practical tax reasons or something maybe but it would have to just be signing a paper in a courthouse with one (1) witness. an actual wedding ceremony (having to bear her stupid soft feelings in front of everyone she knows!!!) would be akin to a particularly humiliating trip through the nine circles of hell for her.

i call them the people’s polycule but they’re really more like a poly v with jack as the midpoint. ted and elsa are decidedly not romantically interested in each other at all but they Are besties united by their love for their beloved little bow wow. i know we have confirmation of the “she’s not into dogs” line but my headcanon is and always will be that the thing ted says to jack to make him laugh at the end is only kind of a joke about being willing to try opening things up if he wanted to.

(jack immediately dismissed this as A Joke and that was when ted knew he was in for a whole lot of yearning. god help him.)

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. HEYHEYHEY. probably u will have to wait until after i finish 39 to answer this but holy shit dude. how does this translate to new haven wards??? i KNOW youve thought about it man. oh my fucking god. what r we doing to wibby. wraith. <- i really like this for him btw. haven't they been through enough!!!!!! also is this related 2 the second trigger situation it HAS to be right??

OKAY!!!!! HI !!!! HERE IT IS MY THOUGHTS ON WIBBY SECOND TRIGGER !!!!!!!!

when i say thoughts i mean this is less going to be an essay like my other nhw posts and more just. me throwing spaghetti at the wall and then turning to you like :D!!!!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK etc etc. i havent rlly thought about this like... plot wise??? or tried to make it make sense yet. so dont be disappointed when this is sort of short in comparison

anyway. for the LONGEST time i thought we were going to make the "absorbing kemuri's soul" thing his trigger event so that he could have the smoke powers, but.... honestly in comparison to everything else that moment was not NEARLY traumatizing enough

the reason i like this specific event as his second trigger is like. its SO fucking similar to his first. in his first trigger event, he fell off the cliff. he was still alive at the bottom, but unable to move or speak or call for help. he was stuck there for [x amount of time] but never actually triggered until someone found him and took him back. in this.... he literally gets torn in fucking half. but hes still alive. he can feel it, he knows whats happening, its the most terrifying and painful and miserable thing hes ever been through. again, he cant move. he cant talk. he cant call for help. the others dont even realize hes still alive at first, so he can hear them screaming. he still doesnt trigger until.. dakota. dakota, who can Feel it. dakota, who rushes into the danger zone as soon as he's able to and knows hes alive and desperately tries to push him back together, the whole time crying about "its gonna be okay, we'll fix it, you're gonna be okay" and just. desperately trying to do anything. THATS when he triggers.

the thing is thoughhhh. i dont think the second trigger is what actually heals him. i think he triggers and every single one of the capes in that clearing goes down for the vision, INCLUDING muse. wraith is one of the first ones to come back to consciousness but. hes still fucking torn in half! he can feel this horrible new power but he cant do anything about it because hes still got his guts all over the forest floor! uhhhh for the way he gets healed theres maybe a couple options,,, either trickster also gets the vision and thinks its hilarious that he caused a trigger event and has muse stitch wibby up himself or likee... he has to stay like that until they beat trickster and get ashe back and then they have to keep ashe in his breaker state until he fixes william. or theres some sort of.. before they beat trickster or whatever they force him to control muse into fixing him. IDK. something along those lines.

AS FOR HIS POWERS...... IDK. i dont know what they would be. i want them to be sort of like. functionally similar to the smoke powers i guess???? but maybe not explicitly the same. i still want him to be able to give xavier and david fucking awful horrible nightmare visions. i think that would probably fall under either master or shaker category????? IDK help me out with this one. also like u said before we're gonna have to fuck with the timeline and have at least the belltech part of greyscale happen after the muse final battle. which. ohhh my god i have a lot of feelings about that for the freedom city wards especially. oaugh.

I THINK THATS IT FOR NOW... IDK GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS I KNOW EVERYTHING IS SO FRESH IN UR MIND BUT IF U HAVE ANY IDEAS I WOULD LOOOOOVE TO HEAR THEM

[the-golden-vanity]

💚 for the Terror. 💖🧡 and 📖 (but chapter(s) instead of entire book(s)) for Moby Dick

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Ooh, it's time to make some enemies.

I really, really dislike the popular fanon characterizations of James Fitzjames. Depending on what particular flavor of queer a fanwork is depicting him as, the kind of... shallow femininity that gets forced on him makes me MASSIVELY uncomfortable. It often comes across as somewhere between homophobic and misogynistic caricature, personality stripped away and replaced with a pretty dress.

I can see where this started, though—the pre-Carnivale dress scene is something that's very important to a lot of Terror fans, and perhaps something that endeared them to a character whose Empire-loving, glory-hounding, "the atrocities I've committed are fun table conversation"-believing ways are (hopefully) unsympathetic to a modern audience. Still, I'd like to see more fanworks engage with that side of James Fitzjames—the tool of an empire that can never love him back.

This isn't to say I don't love queer or trans readings of Fitzjames! I just want to see the character still be a glory-hounding veteran of an imperialist war, and someone I can still believe would shoot rockets at bears.

💖: Already answered here!

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

I had to think about this one for a bit. I'd say it's the take that I see floating around on the Internet a lot that Moby-Dick is cosmic horror. If we're taking cosmic horror to mean the horror of the incomprehensible, the impossibly alien, the Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, then there is exactly one chapter that fits the bill—"The Castaway", which includes maybe my favorite passage of the whole book.

However, almost the entire rest of the book is our narrator-protagonist making sense of the whale, as if knowing everything he can about it is his way of coping with the devastating trauma of losing everyone he spent two years of his life living with.

It's almost reverse cosmic horror—rather than a sane man going mad from coming face to face with an incomprehensible monstrosity, our mentally ill (traumatized/depressed/bipolar/open to interpretation) protagonist makes meaning for himself by learning to comprehend the monstrosity.

📖: If you had to remove one chapter from the book, which would you choose?

Ooh, that's a good question. And a hard one.

Moby-Dick is, rather famously, full of chapters upon chapters of whale facts, some of which are even true. I will not be getting rid of any of those. Those are load-bearing whale facts. You pull them out, and the book collapses into a respectable revenge tragedy, rather than the earth-shattering psychological epic that it is. The whale facts represent both the fact that for long stretches of a sea voyage, nothing particularly exciting is going on, and you have time to contemplate things like the immense scarred brow of the whale, and also that this story is being told by a traumatized man who's going off on tangents because he really doesn't want to get around to the part of the story where he loses everything and all of his friends die.

If I had to get rid of one chapter, it would probably be "The Town Ho's Story". Of all the ill omens and tales of woe that the Pequod's crew encounter on their fateful final voyage, this one drags out longest and (to me) was one of the less memorable. However, I'm sure it's probably someone's favorite chapter. Many of them are.

Thank you so much, @georges-chambers/@alienmythologist! You gave me much to think about.

Ask me for my unpopular opinions about boat stories!