#man this is so sketchy i love biro

[sonic-spoondriver]

thinkin about @yesokayiknow‘s bigeneration au(s) and going insane

[ivory-sunflower]

Arty Art Things ✨

Hellooo!

I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!

Conchúr White

Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha

The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...

TechDif

So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!

Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere. 

The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless. 

I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.

Hozier

This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...

The Corpse Bry

I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.

James Bagshaw

Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...

Alice in “Wonderland”

This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!

So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕

~ Love Ginger xx 

29/11/2020

[ohstardust]

Rose Coloured Boy - [7/11]

Summary: Sebastian Stan & Eleanor Egan spent the better part of six years being the European outcasts of Rockland Country Day School. Despite growing through their teens as best friends, college soon broke down their friendship until nothing remained. Ten years later, a turn of events in a city as large as New York City, finds them running in the same social circles once again with nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide. Pairing: Sebastian Stan x OFC Word Count: 4.5k Masterlist / Story Background / Playlist / AO3 A/N: It’s taken me six long months to finish this (I’m so sorry!), life has been busy, I’ve finished my degree and I’ve been generally struggling with motivation. Would you believe that I’ve had that last segment of this chapter written for almost a year?! It’s one of the very first things I wrote for this story. Part 6 / Part 8

JANUARY 2013 It was early January when Eleanor found herself tucked into a fold down seat, eight rows back and out of sight in the American Airlines theatre. She’d found herself with a week’s vacation post-filming, snagged a last-minute ticket and told all of no one that she was going to see Picnic to support Sebastian. She hadn’t even told the man himself, she wanted to surprise him post-show and not give him a reason to feel put off during the performance. Eleanor knew that feeling too well, as soon as she knew someone in the audience, she’d immediately feel unrested and more nervous.

This wasn’t his first rodeo, but it was his first theatre gig since his name had really been put out there and Eleanor felt a hundred shades of pride for her friend. She knew little about the play, and Sebastian’s character, neither really discussed their work together - it just wasn’t them, keeping their work separate, especially when they delved more into each other’s territory – it was what they did best. Not knowing what to expect was always half of the fun of a new show anyway, there was nothing to compare it to, or compare her friends to. To say she was captivated by Sebastian would have been an understatement - a gross and barefaced lie – not that she would dare to admit, not even teasingly to the man himself. The moment he stepped out onto the stage, she was acutely aware of all heads turning to face him, to get the first glimpse of this new Hollywood actor on a small New York theatre in mid-winter. They may not have known anything about him, or the fact his home was here - they were likely more aware of his new action-hero status – but the fact still had Eleanor smiling into her palm. The story in itself was interesting and something Eleanor would have jumped at the chance to star in, it was her kind of love story, forbidden and wrong and sparkled with a glimmer of hope. Her head was reeling with thoughts and feelings that needed squashing, ones of bare-chested best friends that made her chest tight and gulp half of the water from her bottle, thoughts that made her stomach swirl with butterflies and guilt and she had to keep her gaze on Ellen or Mare or Maggie or – anyone that wasn’t Sebastian for a good fifteen minutes. This was dangerous. Eleanor closed her eyes for a few moments and took a deep breath during the interval, she touched up her make up in the bathroom and wondered if it was even a smart idea to return for the second act. She swallowed her feelings and slinked back to her seat in the auditorium and awaited the second act to begin. The following hour passed by in a breeze, her head was clearer, and her earlier thoughts refused to resurface. He was an attractive man, it was just a momentary glitch, I’m only human she wagered, and she had a Patrick. And he had a Jennifer. And this was a stupid thought about her friend that wouldn’t rear its ugly head again. It couldn’t. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* She double wrapped her scarf around her neck and slipped her hands into her gloves, body shivering from the brisk winter chill as she exited the theatre. New York may have been her home for almost twenty years, but the harsh seasonal weather was nothing she could grow acclimatised to. Her toes wiggled in her boots and she ran her hands up and down her crossed arms to retain some warmth, her breath visible in the air in front of her. There were few waiting places on West 42nd Street where she could stay anonymous from the speculative eyes of fans, not hers, at least she didn’t expect any of hers to be there, but of Sebastian’s. The steps of The New Victory Theatre lay just ahead, a little further up the street, so she sat herself down half way up the flight and pulled on her bobble hat, head rested against the railing with her phone in hand to scroll Twitter to pass the time. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Eleanor could hear the sounds of Sebastian leaving the theatre before she even glanced down the road, the cheers and screams were deafening, and she winced when she lifted her head and caught sight of him being mobbed at the front entrance. Why he insisted on ever leaving through the front door was still beyond her, he knew as well as she did that it was chaos; the hordes of fans, the camera flashes, the incessant noise of car horns beeping people to step off the road. It appeared that the more people who left the theatre, the more the crowd grew, whether or not they’d seen the play. She hadn’t seen anything like it in all her acting years. There were yells and chants for the actor, “Sebastian! Sebastian! Sebastian! Over here!” and Eleanor was so sure that the vast majority of the crowd were not seasoned theatre-goers, they were simply standing here just for him, it wasn’t custom to shout in the faces of the actors, especially not after a long and tiresome double show day. She wanted to march over there, grab his arm and pull him from the throngs of people - to save him from the masses - and then she caught his smile as he signed autographs and leaned in close for someone to take their picture, and she pulled herself further back onto the step and rested her chin ion the heel of her palm with a smile. He was fine, he was more used to this than she was, and it was only going to expand from here. Eleanor fired off some texts to friends whilst she waited for the crowds to disperse; made coffee plans with Chace, a lunch date with Sasha and promised Damon they’d grab takeout pizza later that week. She chipped away at the peeling burgundy nail polish on her fingers and made a mental note to treat herself to a salon appointment sooner rather than later, perhaps gather the girls for a pamper afternoon, the year had taken a slow start and heavens knows they needed something to brighten up the dull and dreary season. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* “Didn’t take long for a woman to get you out of your shirt, Seb.” Eleanor’s eyes sparkled and she pushed her back off the wall with a grin and stepped towards her friend as he approached. She watched as Sebastian’s eyes widened and lit up before he pulled her into a tight embrace, his palms clapped her back. “Don’t be so sour, jealousy isn’t cute, El.” He laughed into her cheek and quirked an eyebrow as he unwound his arms from her, “actually it’s pretty cute on you.” Eleanor eyes rolled and she backhanded his bicep with a snort and a weak stomach flip, “Sod off.” “To what to do I owe this pleasure?” “Thought I’d come and see what all the fuss was about,” she thumbed to the theatre further along the road and shrugged, content and amused in equal measure as Sebastian’s mouth quirked upwards and cocked his head to the side, “’was alright I suppose.” “Oh you ‘suppose’ do you?” “Yeah, I mean I could have given Maggie a run for her money, but she was pretty decent.” He snickered in response and flicked the overhang of her scarf into her face, his arm looped through hers and pulled her along the road away from any lingering fans. It had been too long since they’d had free time to spend more than fifteen minutes together and he didn’t need prying, speculative, eyes on them as they interacted. He was fond of their less public friendship, at least for the time being where they were both still in a position that no one cared all too much who knew who. “Jen in town?” “She’s filming out of state, back next weekend for a couple of days.” “Omelette’s and coffee at yours then?” “Let’s go.” As it approached one-thirty am, Eleanor yawned and stretched out across Sebastian’s plush sofa, across from where he was curled up his oversized living room chair, a seventies thriller movie played on the television in the background, long forgotten in favour of his stories from the play and hers from filming. The conversations never strayed into the relationship area which neither paid a thought to until a few days later, almost like they didn’t need to discuss that with each other or didn’t want to. Sometimes it still felt like a strange and sketchy topic, for reasons neither were all too sure of and Eleanor later began to wonder if they’d always been so vague about romantics when conversing together. “It’s time I head off and hit the hay,” she softly spoke as she pulled herself up into a sitting position to stand, the early hours leaving way for a hushed and relaxed atmosphere. “What time is it?” “It’s –“ she paused to check her watch in the lamplight and cursed, “too late for me to be keeping you up when you’ve got an early start.” Eleanor stood and started to bustle around in her haste to leave, regretfully so, she thought briefly and tugged on her shoes. “You can’t leave now, it’s too late. C’mon, I’ll find something comfortable for you to sleep in and you can crash here.” “No no, don’t be silly, I’ll be home in no time.” “Stay here for me then, for my peace of mind.” She glanced at him, just as she was about to take her coat from the hook, and sighed at his pleading expression, how was she supposed to refuse that? Instead of answering, she picked up a biro pen from the side table by the front door and lazily flung it at him in mock annoyance, “Fine then, oh protective one, I’ll stay. But I expect breakfast in the morning.” “There will be tea and croissants waiting when you wake up.” “Now that’s the service I expect from Casa de Stan.”

MAY Finished. Over. Cancelled. Not renewed. Final. Done. Finito. Two seasons in and the ratings had fallen so low that there was no hope of any network picking the show up to renew it, and as much as everyone could see the end looming, no one liked to admit their work was coming to an end and they’d be unemployed. Especially not Eleanor who’d made her new home on the show. She’d known since her early acting days that this industry was a tricky one, and everything was destined to end sooner or later, but she wouldn’t have minded a bit of stability for a while longer. “So, I guess that’s me out of work again then,” Eleanor huffed and sighed wearily. She pulled the clothes in the dryer out one by one and shook, folded and placed them onto the kitchen countertop. Sasha stretched out across the surface; a coffee mug cradled between her hands and a confused look etched onto her features. “What the hell happened?” “Show got cancelled, should have known it wouldn’t last much longer,” she snatched a dropped shirt off the floor and shook it with a touch more vehemence before setting it down on top of the pile. Her hands scrubbed over her face and she leant forward for a moment, elbows planted on the wooden counter and sipped her tea. “Kids might enjoy coming to see the shows but who wants to watch a dramatised version of our lives on telly? Not many apparently.” “You’re not surprised then?” “Only that we made it this far.” Sasha eyed her friend warily and chewed on her lip, “What’s your next plan?” Eleanor pushed herself off the counter and began to finish folding her clothes, “The only thing I can do is throw myself into a shit tonne of auditions, at least I’m more open to television gigs now.” “I’m sure the guys will give you a helping hand if you -“ “No.” She turned to the younger girl and shook her head with fervency, “I’m a big girl, with my own career, I’m not relying on them to get me any work.” “I knew you’d be too proud.” “Everyone has their pre-conceptions of me now anyway, I’m not giving them any ammunition to fire back at me.” It was true, Eleanor had made a name for herself, on her own terms, the last thing she wanted was a common understanding among the public that she was receiving help in advancing her career. Her friends were there to be her friend, not a helping hand or as a career enhancement. Especially not with the success of her circle of friends. “That’s wise, it’s not really worth the aggravation I guess.” “It’s fine, it’ll all work out,” Eleanor kept herself busy and occupied, the clothing was sat at the bottom of her wardrobe to be dealt with when she had the energy to sort it and she sat down on one of the bar stools beside Sasha, her feet pulled up to her chest, “besides, I’ve got Maria on the case, she’s sending a tonne of options and auditions my way for consideration so I’m keeping positive.” “If anyone can get their shit together, it’s you El.” Eleanor was hopeful, she just hoped beyond anything that her friend’s faith wasn’t misplaced in her. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Her schedule for the following week found her with eight auditions, three meetings and a callback, it was the most she’d had in months. Despite the show she was constantly on the lookout for new projects to fill gaps in her itinerary and, although she wasn’t as concerned about having a new gig immediately after the season wrapped, this time it felt different and she felt sparks of hope igniting. Maybe a new challenge and a new start to reinvent herself again would be a good thing. She can’t say she wanted to be known as that theatre actress for the rest of her life anyway, she was just very good at pigeonholing herself. MAY The month of May had really taken its toll on Eleanor, with the cancellation of Smash and the constant auditions she’d been enduring for the past two weeks, she was beyond exhausted, she’d barely remembered her looming birthday and the plans to head out of town for the weekend. Sebastian had let himself into her apartment a little after noon whilst she was vacuuming her bedroom, short of anything to do for the remainder of the day, he’d crawled into her bed and watched her for a few minutes as she grumbled about him using his key without an actual emergency. “Well I tried knocking.” He reasoned, arms folded around the pillow under his head and burrowed into it. Sometimes she forgot how much of a petulant child he was. “I had the hoover going, idiot boy.” “Precisely, I wasn’t standing outside of your door like a lurker until you’d finished. It’s called ‘friend privileges’ of having your spare key.” She glared at him and shook her head, incredulous, “I give up.” “So, what’s with the spring clean?” Eleanor shook out a few cushions and arranged them on the white painted wicker chair sat in the far corner of the bedroom, and straightened the pale grey throw draped over the back, “I’m not coming home to a dusty and untidy home after a weekend away.” Sebastian’s head shot up and his eyebrows scrunched, “Wait, where are you going? “Just out of town, birthday relaxation treat.” He pondered for a moment before a frown overtook his face as his head dropped and he clutched the pillow a little tighter, “You’re really not going to be here for it?” “No, I thought I’d told you, Patrick’s taking me away for a long weekend,” she glanced over at the man curled up in her duvet with a defeated expression, she softened and added “but I’ll be home on the 28th, we can do something then, alright?” “I suppose, he could have told everyone in advance though, what if we’d planned something for you?” “Did you?” “Well no, but -“ “There you go then, no harm done.” She swatted his calves with a rolled-up magazine, “Now get off my bed and stop pestering me, go and annoy your girlfriend.” “She’s out of town.” “Well boo hoo sweetcheeks, don’t think I’m gonna entertain you for the time being. You’re cluttering the place up.” His face soured and he batted her hands away from him that tried to pull on his legs to drag him off the mattress, “You used to be so much fun, now you’re horrible.” “I’m an old, tired woman, Seba. I can’t be dealing with the youth today.” With a huff he pulled himself up and stretched, a yawn overtaking his face. He straightened out the sheets and smoothed out the crinkles, pumped the pillows and left it in the state he’d found it before he’d crashed on it, “Fine, I’ll help you pack then.” *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* New Haven was beautiful, and Eleanor questioned why she hadn’t been out there sooner, she’d been in the city for all of an hour, but she was quick to admire and enjoy the slower pace of this particular city. Everywhere felt like a slower pace than New York. She’d jumped at the opportunity to visit the moment Patrick had suggested Connecticut. For only being a state over, she hadn’t ever crossed that state line, but Patrick was keen to show her just a small piece of his home state and the city closest to where he was raised. Seeing a place that had been so important and integral to her partner’s life, and upbringing, was as exciting as it was intriguing, like everything has its own little Patrick stamp imprinted upon it. She hadn’t experienced this with a boyfriend before. They’d walked hand in hand down treelined streets, wandered the Saturday morning farmer’s market, roamed the grounds of Yale University (Eleanor insisted she wasn’t coming to New Haven and not seeing such a prestigious school) and picnicked overlooking the river at East Rock Park. The tranquillity was idyllic, and Eleanor wanted nothing more than to cosy up in this part of the state for a while longer, forget her responsibilities, her callbacks, the uncertainty, and just enjoy her time with Patrick. She loved her friends with all of her heart, but the overwhelming birthday fuss was not missed this year, her previous birthday had filled her fuss quota for a lifetime and this year she felt more the adult she was than ever before. This felt serious, and permanent, and perhaps she could see herself moving here with her boyfriend one day and having a more permanent family than she had had growing up. For a few days she wondered what it would be like to have a forever with Patrick. SEPTEMBER Eleanor had hurt for a while after her relationship ended with Rhys, far more than she thought she would. She’d known it wasn’t going to be the relationship that carried with her the rest of her life, she knew they wouldn’t get married, have kids, grow old together, but she’d been pretty fond of him and she’d just wanted him to stick around for a bit longer. She’d grown used to sharing her spare time with someone again, used to the comfort and excitement that surrounded a relationship in its infancy. In all honesty, she’d just missed having her own someone. And then Patrick had all but swept her off her feet and gave her hope, the feeling that maybe she wasn’t a total disaster in the romance department and perhaps someone could actually love her one day after all. He’d told her he loved her months ago. So, when their relationship fell apart three days before their first anniversary, Eleanor wanted to smash anything breakable, have a hissy fit and cry until she ran dry. And possibly break his nose. Sweet, poor, stupid Patrick. But it wasn’t Patrick that was stupid, she felt stupid for believing she could have the happy ever after, that she was capable of being loved and being part of someone’s long term plans. She’d never felt more temporary and disposable as she did right now. Eleanor had grown up around broken relationships, failed marriages, heartbreak, but there was still a hopeful part buried deep inside her that wondered if she could break the family curse and perhaps have a more permanent happiness with her relationships. The older you grow, the harder it is to have your heart broken, every cut feels deeper and hopes of marriage, children, a white picket fence and a family dog is pushed further out reach. His excuse had been weak. Whilst insistent that he loved her, he ‘couldn’t see their relationship expanding any further’, he thought they’d ‘run their course’. Eleanor wanted to be fucking sick. And definitely break Patrick’s nose. She didn’t think she deserved much from life, but she knew she deserved better than that. OCTOBER “I always thought you were too good for me, even in high school.” “You’re kidding me right?” “Not one bit. I had such a school boy crush on you when I was about fourteen.” Sebastian’s eyes were resting shut as he drunkenly confessed his old feelings for her, his voice was lazy and drawn out and he had a reminiscent smile stretched over his lips. His left arm hung down between them with a half burned out cigarette resting between his fingers, too much tequila on his breath and with a burnt red hue to his cheeks after his admission. They were lying on sun loungers on Chace’s balcony, their friends inside chatting, and drinking and singing for no reason in particular, just sharing their love for one another. Everything felt pleasant, time felt slow and she took a drag of her own cigarette to curb the butterflies in her stomach. “And then you grew up,” she laughed lightly. “I’m not so sure about that,” he opened one eye to glance at her in amusement, “you were so dorky but in a really cute way and you were there for me through everything. I hit that point where I realised I actually liked you, so I told Nina and obviously she already knew because apparently I wasn’t very subtle.” “You must have been subtle enough because I had no clue. How come you didn’t just tell me?” “I knew that you’d never have looked at me that way, and I was fine with it, really I was. I ended up kissing Nina and that’s when she told me she knew how I felt about you.” “You kissed Nina?!” “I know, I know. It was so stupid, she smacked me in the head after it, my lesson was very much learnt.” Eleanor chewed on her bottom lip, pausing the conversation and swirled her wine around the glass, “It sounds a little bit more than a crush.” “It was. And part of me wishes I’d told you years ago, but I didn’t and maybe that was for the best. A part of me just wants you to look at me that way now.” “You can’t say something like that to me, not all blasé and nonchalant,” she raised her cigarette to her lips again and inhaled then exhaled, watching the cloud of smoke disappear into the air, “Not when you’ve just split up with your girlfriend.” “I thought now was the perfect time. If there ever was one.” “Patrick & I have been split up for six days, Sebastian.” “I know, but I need to be honest with us both.” She sighed and tried to find the best response to give her friend, he wasn’t thinking straight, he was too drunk, he was vulnerable and so was she. For as long as she’d know him, he’d always fallen too hard and loved too much. Now wasn’t the time and part of her suspected there never would be a right time for them both. No matter how she cared for him, on some level it didn’t seem right. “You’re a no good pretty boy Seb, always have been, your heart is two sizes too big and you have more than enough love for more than one person,” she smiled as wide as she was emotionally able to but Sebastian had known her long enough to see her falter and the sadness interlaced with it. “It’s not a bad thing, but someone always ends up caught in the crossfire and I don’t think I’m strong enough to deal with that. Not even for you.” “It sounds like you’ve already written me off.” Her fingers laced through his and their hands dropped between them, slowly swaying. Her eyes wandered over the city before them, the twinkle of lights, the high-rise building, the endless city scape. The sounds of beeping horns, and too much traffic and the hustle and bustle that was so soothing and calming to her now, it was serene, and this conversation was borderline dangerous after three glasses of wine and a gin or two, “I haven’t but I should do.” “It’s different now El, I’m different now.” Eleanor’s head turned to face him, and her eyes fluttered, “Maybe that would have worked on me a few years ago, but I’ve been around you again for too long to know you’re fooling yourself. You’re not a teenager anymore, Sebastian, and I’m no longer naive. There’s always someone else. This year it was Jen, last year was the aftermath of Leighton and you flirting your way around New York. You fall too easily, my love.” “There’s never anyone else when you’re around.” “I can’t tell myself that I’ll be enough for you when I know it’s not true,” the thought sobered her all too quickly and the air between them was too heavy. It felt like her birthday again when they’d lapsed into unfamiliar territory and she was concerned, worried, scared to shit that this was heading south, and they couldn’t reel anything back before they were sober enough to think rationally about this all. They’d barely been friends again for two years and this all felt too soon, he’d opened his heart to her again and let her in after all that had happened, she wasn’t prepared to do anything to ruin that again. She gave a pathetic laugh and breathed in some fresh air and shook her head with a smile, “Anyway, this is all silly talk, yeah?” Sebastian didn’t know how to make her see how wrong she was, didn’t know how to tell her that his decisions these past two years had been centred around her, maybe even longer than that. Instead he rubbed his thumb over hers and squeezed her hand tight, his head nodded in confirmation if only to appease her. He’d try again once he was sober enough to not feel so emotional about this. If that time ever came. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Rose Coloured Boy tags: @lovingfionn​, @lowdenglynnstyles, @outofworkactress, @prettyboytgc, @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes, @kyber-hearts-and-stardust-souls

[alysemeadfad]

Life Drawing

my personal experience of life drawing for the first time, we unfortunately due to corona virus could not do actual life drawings from a life model standing in front of us, we opted to draw from the royal academy life drawing model videos on you tube.

the first sketch was just the lines of the body, basically stripping back all of the skin and imagining the skeleton and where certain bones would be and whats connected to those bones, i found it easy to pick out the four main corners on the first would of been the right knee right hand left hand and left foot , marking the whereabouts of these main parts helps me figure out the proportions and i manage to fit it all on the page rather than go off or go too small.

we then started to do the main body lines around the structure, this time we were timed 5 mins, personally i was quite impressed with how well i did in the 5 mins as i was quite anxious to draw the human form

my second go in a different position was much more difficult, i really didn’t find this position easy for some reason and got it wrong many times as seen where there two arms and the proportions are really quite wack.

reference photo

this was my favorite timed one i felt like i had learnt a lot by the time we drew this one, it was timed 20 mins and the model was positioned on boxes so i did draw them in to get an idea of where to place the body, its not perfect but you can clearly see its a man lay in that awkward position.

after we all drew together i went to my space and did a couple of my own, i moved from a3 to A1 so i had more freedom and felt like i could get the proportions better on a bigger page.

Life Drawing 2

i wasn’t in for this lesson but i attended online and took part. my screen was a lot smaller than what it would be in the studio projected on to the wall so i had some difficulty with proportions more than usual.

first attempt was a non timed 5 mins in HB i started off with the main points which were, head, bum, hands, feet. i then drew the structure stripping it back to the skeleton i then drew the general shape of the body around the lines i had made, i tried to keep my lines to a minimum as i often get very sketchy and lose the shape that i am trying to achieve.

i marked the main points which were feet and hands but then i drew the body way too big and didn’t fit all of the body parts on the page. this drawing was around 2 mins timed in 6b, i used the same process as the one before. points, lines. shape

fine line drawing with cross hatching as the main technique. this one i was nervous about since it was pen and quite bold, i started off just drawing the main shape of the body, no key points, no lines just went straight in with the outline. at first i hated it and thought it didnt even look like the right shape but then i started adding tone and debth with crosshatching and darkening the lines and by the end i loved it and its one of my favorite life drawings i have done, the proportions are slightly off but other than that its really successful.

i hated this black fine liner continuous line drawing. it was awful and i hated the whole process, i kept feeling the urge to want to take the pen off the page and i could not hack the proportions at all. but on a positive note the arse is quite peachy.

this one was very rushed but its not the worst, i used a pink sharpie as it gave a different effect. the proportions are still bad but in its own way and style its quite an interesting drawing that i don’t hate to death

life drawing 3

this life drawing was on a larger scale and on a different type of paper (no idea what the paper was) we did a line drawing in fine liner, i was quite pleased with my proportions even tho i managed to not fit the legs in i was happy with how it looked in just fine liner. after we were happy with the shape we had created we went in with ink, i used a sponge to get a texture similar to the dry brushing technique we used the other week.

i feel like i lost my image by using such a thick sponge i wasnt able to get the defined lines i wanted, i was much happier with the fine liner outcome rather than when i had added the ink.

second time around we went straight in with ink, no fine liner line drawing to map out the shapes just ink. i immediately messed up hence why the head is completely deformed, the  ink was runny so i made some accidental drips om the page but decided to ad more and claim it as a stylistic approach.

Life drawing 4

A3  fine liner,biro and graphite drawing

i started the drawing in biro making a sketchy style outline then adding shade with cross hatching with fine liner to make the drawing appear more three dimensional

i then used graphite to add a dark harsh shading to the outer side of the body, giving it even more dimetion than before, i am quite proud of the outcome and even tho the proportions are off it really shows my progress in life drawing so far in to the course.

Gina Beavers

Gina Beavers is an artist who lives and works in Newark, NJ. She holds a BA in Studio Art and Anthropology from the University of Virginia (1996), an MFA in Painting and Drawing from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago (2000) and an MS in Education from Brooklyn College (2005).

She creates paintings and installations from photos culled from the Internet and social media and rendered in high Acrylic relief. Series include paintings based on the creative realms of body painting, social media user’s photos of their meals, make-up tutorials, memes, and body builder selfies.

To create her three-dimensional canvases, artist Gina Beavers often works closely from photographs or Google image searches, reproducing even the smallest of details. Her reverence for the original image extends photorealism to its extreme in her reliefs of acrylic paint, pumice, and glass beads. Her work walks the line between high and low, and art and craft, while, as critic Roberta Smith once wrote, Beavers “exaggerates and satirizes the act of painting.” Favorite subjects include food, which she renders with the deflated realism of a Claes Oldenburg sculpture, and the human form, as seen in images of a body-painted Demi Moore or exaggerated six-pack torsos.

I chose to research Gina Beavers because her work on human form really intrigued me as it was not only human form it was 3D and sculptural, it also reminded me of my sculptured toe shoes by the texture and unusuality of them.

Though my work was made with toilet roll and pva glue, hers was not, it was made with acrylic paint and acrylic moulding paste, some of her larger sculptures required wood with the acrylic moulding paste to create a larger structure.

I also like her take on the human form as its not accurate, its her own interpretation, its got her own style on top of it which is key as she uses found images off Instagram and google.

Still Life

we were tasked to create a still life with found objects in the studio, my first thought since it was life drawing at the moment was human form so i bought in a bust mannequin and a mask to stand as the face

our first attempt took a matter of mins and the end result looked like a mermaid from above. but david wasnt happy with that was he . so we tried again

we started building up height and using the space around us not just the table, but after this attempt we realized we werent working as a team we were just doing our wont thing and not communicating with others so there was no flow to the matter.

so we went higher and bigger and better putting each person in a team to work on the specific area of the structure and it all started to come together.

we even added lights to give it more tone and depth

the still life no longer looked like a human form but a flow of our minds working together to create a composition that could be explored in so many ways.