#man she should busy him tf out when they get an S

[bendy113]

bendy and jevil if they were in fnf ig idk

been trying to finish this for days despite some things, but hey i did it yay

i'm kinda proud of it tbh.

bonus:

and the og pic, yes it was from friday night bloxxin on roblox lol

[meowzfordayz]

hashira accidentally touch your chest

Author’s Note: pls and ty enjoy this tidbit of crack-fluff. 😆���

hashira accidentally touch your chest

Hashira x Reader

Word Count: ~1,600

CW: explicit language, Fem!Reader, mild sexual content

Suggestion Fulfilled: Can we get all hashira accidently touch y/n's breast

~faqs~

Fyi, “chest” means boob. I was just worried Tumblr would block this post from tags if I included “boob” in the title lmao. 😉

Shocked 😳😖

“I apologize, [y/n]-san, it won’t happen again!”

Gyomei’s nearly in tears, he feels so terribly 😞

“These things happen!” you promptly assure him, “Besides, you technically won the bout.”

No need to mention that he always wins when training together 🥲

“I cannot accept such a tainted victory.”

“Himejima-san, though I appreciate your concern and respect, there’s truly no issue.”

Meanwhile, Gyomei’s rethinking his entire Breathing Style to ensure he never accidentally touches anyone’s boob(s) again 💀 

In cold disbelief 😐😐😐

If you don’t say anything, then he won’t say anything

Alternatively, if you do say something, then Obanai will immediately curl up into a ball and die

Spends the rest of his day recalling the fleeting warmth of your breast

He swears his hand doesn’t even get cold, so affected by the heat of your bosom

Your boob must be ✨magical✨

“Iguro-san,” you call out gently, noting his dazed stare, his dinner untouched while he sits crossed legged, “Is something on your mind?”

“No.” 😐😐😐

Well okay then 🙃

“About what happened earlier…”

🫨🫨🫨 <— Obanai is FREAKING OUT

“… Iguro-san, I didn’t mind.”

And then you stand up, take your dishes, and leave

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEEEAAAN?!?!?!

Good luck finding Obanai tomorrow 🫡 (the poor man’s been pleasantly overwhelmed)

He’ll avoid you for eternity now 😌 (not really, but at least until he can breathe around you again)

She giggles 🤭

Lol

“Oh my! [y/n]-san, I didn’t mean to touch you so intimately!” 😅

“No worries, it happens.”

Your face may or may not be burning up a storm, but that’s okay!

Mitsuri’s blushing too

A lot 😳

“I hope I didn’t hurt you?!”

Because like, What if I gripped too hard?! 😭

She’s well aware of her own strength

“You barely brushed me, Kanroji-san. I promise!”

Phew!

She grins, relief evident as she bumps her elbow against yours

“Don’t tell anyone, okay? I would be so embarrassed!!!”

“Kanroji-san, our secret is safe with me.”

I wish it would happen again… <— lowkey both of you thinking the same thing 🤪

As a medical personnel (among other roles), Shinobu accidentally (or even on purpose, depending on where you’re wounded) touching your boob isn’t entirely unreasonable nor unrealistic

Obviously it would be nicer if she was caressing you out of love and affection 😔

And not methodically cleansing then bandaging claw marks that just so happened to cross over your chest 😒

“You should make a full recovery,” she’s all business, “The demon avoided your nipple and didn’t puncture deep enough to affect the functionality of your breast,” fortunately, you’re too exhausted to be embarrassed by her bluntness, “It has a nice shape. I’m glad you survived.”

EXCUSE ME WHAT?!?!?! 😃🫠

Now you’re kinda embarrassed

More so preening, really 🤭

It’s like when a doctor randomly compliments the rhythm of your heart or some other characteristic from a mainly professional POV, but you’re still caught off guard because who tf compliments someone’s kidneys or bowels movements or?????

In your pain hazed delusion, you briefly contemplate somehow getting your other boob injured too… gotta make sure you’re matching in (nice) shape, y’know? 😌

Kyojuro can be discreet, albeit more so for your sake than his

“I APOLOGIZE! I DID NOT MEAN TO TOUCH YOUR BREAST!” <— how he could react 💀

“Pardon my slip, are you okay?” <— how he actually reacts, because he isn’t entirely lacking in social awareness and decorum 😆

“Oh,” you don’t mean to squeak, but it can’t be helped when the most handsome man you’ve ever known just casually grazed your boob, “I’m fine! Totally fine! Haha!” 🫨😵‍💫🫠

You’ve gotta be more convincing than that, or Kyojuro will never forgive himself 😕

He’s a lil oblivious when it comes to physical attraction

Not like, infantly so, but given this particular circumstance?

He doesn’t realize you’re flustered; he assumes you’re mortified 😖

“You sound decidedly less than fine.”

He’s softer now, worried about startling you 🥺

“I was surprised! But don’t worry! I’m not worried!”

Okaaay, but he’s worried 🥲

“Is there any way I could make amends for my indiscretion?”

Not only is he handsome, but he is such a gentleman 😭😍

“Rengoku-san, there are no amends to be made, I promise. I’m not mad, nor do I feel unhappy or unsafe. I forgive you.”

Your regaining of the ability to speak in complete sentences greatly reassures him 😮‍💨😁

“Ah. Well. I am grateful for your kindness and understanding. It will not happen again.”

…

…

Hold up 🧐

Why does she seem… she seems… disappointed? Should I have said it will happen again??

You’ve suddenly given Kyojuro something quite pleasant to ponder 🤔

After all, he isn’t entirely oblivious 😉

“Are you going to apologize?” Sanemi demands

“For what?” you screech

“For touching my hand with your boob!”

Your eyes roll, “Oh fuck off!”

“I didn’t ask to touch you,” he grunts

“I wouldn’t have given you permission anyway,” you retort 😒

Arms crossing over his bare chest, Sanemi scoffs, “Well I didn’t give mine either!”

“You’re ridiculous. It was an accident.”

You seem genuinely pissed 😬

Sanemi rethinks his approach

“You know I’m joking, right?” 😅

“Nooo,” your sarcasm cuts deep, “I thought you were flirting.” 😐

Uh 😀

Well 😃

Shit 😄

“Fuck you!” 

When in doubt, curse ‘em out 💀

You scowl, confusion lingering as your blood boils, “Fuck you!”

“I said it first.” 🙄

You stalk away, fed up with his antics

#man child #sort of #romantically inept is more like it

As tends to happen with epiphanies, yours doesn’t hit until you’re almost asleep

“WAS THAT MOTHERFUCKER FLIRTING WITH ME???!” 😳🥴😭

Best believe Shinazugawa Sanemi is about to have a Lesson 101 in flirting asap 😤😎

(assuming you’re older, like, mentor age to Muichiro)

Neither of you make a fuss about it

It’s like accidentally calling your teacher mom 😬

Or grabbing a random person’s hand in the supermarket thinking they’re your parent 🫣

Embarrassing, but not a huge deal — unless you make it one

There’re those three seconds of slow motion Uhh and What just happened and Oops 🫠

And then time speeds up to normal again, you have a quick conversation with your eyes (gosh forbid you speak and bring the unspoken into reality 💀), and it’s over

^^ Alternatively, if Muichiro initiates a conversation to clear the air, then you’re able to have a mature and concise chat that is respectfully and patiently resolved

Embarrassing/accidental encounters are part of growing up

As long as they can be navigated ~safely, there shouldn’t be any lasting harm

⚠️I also want to emphasize that I am talking solely on inarguably accidental/one time incidences⚠️

Hehehe

Giyuu’s hand is stuck 🫣

Only for like, a fleeting second

But omg 😭

He was already embarrassed, and now he’s triply embarrassed 🫠🫠🫠

“... Tomioka-san?”

You won’t lie; you aren’t especially bothered 🤭

But it is a compromising position to be caught in; Giyuu lowkey crushing you, one of his palms clearly cupping your boob 😬

#wrestling #or something #so maybe this isn’t super realistic #forgive me

You’re about to repeat his name when he finally springs to life, immediately rolling off you, standing abruptly, about to literally sprint away

And then he remembers his manners 🙃

He offers you a hand

His other hand; his boob hand is currently tucked away in his haori

He’s never washing it again

#closet perv

“Thanks,” you smile faintly, accepting his assistance as you lift yourself from the ground

You hope he can’t hear your heartbeat 💓

He definitely can 😶

But can you hear his?

“I don’t think we should train together anymore.”

Giyuu is swift and harsh with his solutions

“Why?”

Your question comes out stiffer than intended

He hesitates, unable to interpret the fear in your tone — the longing

“I always beat you,” he explains lamely, “Don’t you get tired of losing?”

You scoff cheerfully, grinning now as you squeeze his hand

Fuck, we were still holding hands?! <— Giyuu is in shambles 😳

“I could never lose!” you declare, feelings brimming in your throat, spilling onto your tongue, “Not when I’m with you.”

Then we should absolutely stop training together would be the responsible reaction

Attachments are the most dangerous game for a Hashira to play 😕

Instead, Giyuu’s rendered speechless, unable to shake his hand from yours

“Well alright then,” he mutters, stomach churning as he narrowly avoids the warmth in your gaze

In fact, you swear he squeezes back 💓

“EXCUSE ME! I HAVE A WIFE!” 😤😤😤

“You have three wives.” 🙄

Sputtering, Tengen shrieks, “I already have plenty of breasts to touch!” 

“Tengen,” you glare, not one to back down as you jab a finger into his own chest, “You touched my boob.” 😒

“AND I’M SORRY!” 😭

Much better 😌

“I don’t know what they see in you,” you scoff (you’re also lying, you can see plenty🤭), “They’re gorgeous… and you freak out when you accidentally touch a boob.” 💀

Tengen is 100% pouting now

“I don’t freak out when I touch their boobs,” he huffs

“Well aren’t they lucky.” 😐

“You could be lucky too!”

…

…

Tengen starts running 

You give chase

“DID YOU TALK TO THEM ABOUT THIS?” 

Tengen runs faster

“TENGEN!!!!!”

Tengen runs faster and faster

You give up

*insert gasping for air here*

“DO YOUR WIVES KNOW THEY’RE MARRIED TO A COWARD???!!!”

Oh well, you’ll have to visit their estate sometime this week 🙃

You’re sure to get an answer from Hina, Makio, and Suma ☺️

And you can’t wait to see more of Tengen 😏😋

Sorry, sometimes the horny just happens 🥴

[itsjustaninchident]

Starlight☆

Lando Norris x Model!Wife!Reader

smau

summary: Getting married means having children.... Or not? 5 months into marriage and a lot of hate and pressure has been thrown on the couple. A part 2 of To the Moon and To Saturn.

warning/s: sexual innuendos, misogynistic comments, hate comments (tell me if I missed something)

author's note: This is the most tedious and longest work I've probably done here 😭 I definitely enjoyed doing this, I enjoy reading comments from you guys and also requests are always open, I'm just not fast in making it but I'll definitely do your requests🤍

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,321,987 others

yourusername oh sorry can't find it on the mirror where I gaf

view 63,483 comments...

user1 THE IT GIRL OF THIS GENERATION

user2 THE FUTURE KIDS WOULD SAY THEY WERE BORN IN THE WRONG GENERATION UPON SEEING THIS GIRL IN THE FUTURE

user3 scrolling through the pictures slay after slay and then lando norris

user4 i still can't believe they're married

user5 Can't wrap my head around how a man who drives for a living is dating the hottest girl alive

landonorris can't believe it either

user6 at least he's self aware

user7 you're both hot tbf

user8 why are hot people only for hot people

user9 this is just too cute

user10 their kids are gonna be good looking istg

user11 I mean the parents are both good looking so

user12 can't wait omg they're gonna look so cute😭

yourusername respectfully, no.

user13 oh.

user14 is this how I confirm they both don't want children😭

user15 yn shutting off comments suggesting kids for both of them😭 she's just like me fr

user16 yn is so real for that😭 she def saw that tiktok girl with the list

user17 THE WORLD IS SIMPLY NOT READY FOR THIS GIRL😭

user18 haters are found in the ditch i fear

landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,239,876 others

landonorris P2 in Singapore!❤️

view 32,987 comments...

user1 congrats lando!!!

user2 definitely deserve!

user3 why is yn not present in the sg gp?

landonorris she's busy with work :)

user4 shouldn't yn be present to her husband's races, she like missed 4 races already?

user5 girl she can't possibly be with him all the damn time😭 she's got work too

user6 leave yn alone, she literally go all out whenever she can support lando in his races

landonorris she supports me even though she's across the world, it's not her responsibility to go to every race and she has her own work to tend to.

user7 GAGGED!

user8 when he never lets anyone talk shit about you>>>>

user9 they definitely deserve each other

user10 can people stop demanding for yn and just congratulate lando😭 leave the girl alone she's not doing anything to y'all

yourusername CONGRATS BABY! any requests? ;)

user11 HE'S DEF GETTING IT😭

landonorris i think i've made it clear on chat🤔

yourusername assertive, i like it🫡

user12 STOP BEING HORNY ON MAIN?

user13 they're literally unstoppable 😭

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 976,890 others

yourusername let me fix my shoes first

view 21,765 comments...

lilymhe can u please divorce the L word and elope with me?

yourusername contacting the lawyers📞

landonorris HEY!!

alexalbon maybe we're the ones meant for each other, mate

user1 L WORD?!😭

user2 this is actually alex's karma for calling his girlfriend the squid game girl😭

user3 personally would be my last straw

user4 why is yn always outside, can't even become a decent wife and do her chores

user5 women should just stay in the house and cook.

yourusername you should try a challenge

user5 and what is that?

yourusername it's called shutting tf up

user6 GET HIMMMM

user7 you idiots, that's literally her job she needs to constantly attend events and model products she's not outside for NOTHING, unlike you.

user8 maybe that's why they don't have kids together lol he definitely would divorce her later on

yourusername checked your profile, looks like you're not even close to getting your first girlfriend

user9 HELP😭 OMG I LIVE FOR UNFILTERED YN😭

user10 these disgusting comments about yn... she's so strong to be able to handle all of these hate just because she's married to a well-known athlete.

user11 the absolute sickening moments ever for women, we can't have anything. The world does not want us to be happy.

user12 true, makes me think how she even deserves all the hate comments when she's been the nicest, most supportive, and loving partner to lando

user13 the answer is easy, she's a woman who married a man. All these men who never grew out of their highschool phase suddenly think they've got the right to talk shit about her just because she married their favorite athlete🙄

user14 YN CAN YOU PLEASE STEP ON ME

user15 calm down girl, my boyfriend's on this app🥵

yourusername oh honey, if your boyfriend admires other girls he's not your boyfriend anymore

user15 IM JUST KIDDING I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I WANT

user16 she's an it girl and a girl's girl🫡

user17 she really said don't let any man disrespect u

via interview...

via twitter...

via article...

via twitter...

yourusername

liked by landonorris, carmmenmundt, and 2,309,674 others

yourusername baby #1 full of food

view 23,029 comments...

landonorris can't believe this is how I find out I'm gonna be a dad

yourusername thanks for feeding me ig now u're gonna have to take full responsibility

landonorris i fully accept becoming a father of food

user0 idk what's up with these two😭

user-1 they're literally the perfect match both of them goofy af

yourfriend is this for real?!

yourusername no bae ;)

yourfriend AMEN

user1 not yn trolling the whole damn nation only for it to be a food baby😭

user2 this is what the media gets for pressuring them into becoming parents when clearly they want a different path lol

user3 true, they've made it clear numerous times already that they want to enjoy their married life more and not involve kids in the process

user4 they're so real for that

user5 I remember in an interview of yn with the same question and she said something like "I just feel like in this day and age, having children isn't a priority for most people of this generation and I'm glad that most of us are realizing how big of a deal it is to have children and deciding to not bring them in this world when we are very self aware of our capabilities. It's time we should stop pressuring couples, more so women in giving birth because it's not the only thing we're here for."

user6 SHE'S SO SLAY?!

user7 MY ELOQUENT QUEEN

user8 slay after slay

user9 everyday i have to be reminded that im actually not married to yn and we dont have 4 kids tgt

user10 SHE'S LEGIT SO ICONIC FOR THIS😭

user11 a slap on the face for those nosy people up in their business

hope y'all actually enjoyed this as much as I did writing it😭 comments are highly appreciated 🫶 lovelots♡

[thatdeadaquarius]

Friend. F r I e N d. Your smol brother Razor hcs made my insides flippyflop. I beg, I plead...

My daughter QiQi? Holding onto my sleeve while we go picking herbs so she knows she can get home? Getting her a little bag with a notebook and pen so she always has memory?

SAYING THE LINE FROM WHERE THE WIND LEADS AND ASKING FOR A HUG?!

Scolding Baizhu for letting her go herb picking when he knows she probably won't remember the way home?!?! Because Archons man like NO.

Hello!! Flippyflop??!! Over my writing ??!! 🥺🥺 <3

AND FOR MY NEXT TRICK... WE SHALL DO... THE OTHER CHILD THAT NEEDS A CARING ADULT!!

Also srry im rlly slow getting to yalls asks i promise it will come and i love u all for giving me asks <33

(*´▽)ノ✨️ NOW LETS GO ! ! ✨️

(Now before yall come at me, I am aware Baizhu does care about her, but BUT, he still is studying her/canonically has ulterior motives, and lets her pick herbs when she may not be able to find her way back, also he doesnt strike me as the type to be super affectionate/parental, as cute as it is to write him that way)

What a b l e s s e d ask, this is so cute i love all the kids in genshin their adorable

So... im kinda a consistent Sagau writer, and i love requests like this! But also, im not sure if u guys want me to still apply Sagau/Isekai setting to these requests on top of what was initially asked??

So i will pretty much always make all requests will be SAGAU/ISEKAI Reader based, UNLESS YOU STATE OTHERWISE IN THE ASK!!

Oh Qiqi, another child product of ✨️traumatic events✨️

(Future me after finishing this: oh god what monster have I unleashed upon the world, upon the sagau tag, upon my innocent followers...)

Damn ur lucky u didnt land in Jueyun Karst or nothin

Or on one of the many mountains/cliffs all over Liyue

Its honestly more a shock u arent on a mountain bc theres so many,,

Ur pretty close to Liyue Harbor luckily, not in town, but sort of at the base of Mt Tianheng by the looks of it, almost behind it

Its about sunset too, WOW

Liyue Harbor is hella bigger than in game, holy fuck its actually a huge port city

Should u go into the city??

Ur not sure, do they speak English??

...Wait u dont got a single mora

U cant even get an inn rn RIP

?? Should u just? Find a cave?? To sleep in??

But what about monsters??!

(Call Xiao? Nah he'd freak tf out on u, Shenhe maybe? She is the only option u can think of that seems like she would possibly take in a random homeless traveler from another world, mostly bc she could beat ur ass no matter what)

So,, Shenhe? Maybe? Ur still not sold on the idea but maybe u could gather something out here to sell on a street corner?? Or to Wanmin maybe for fresh ingredients?

Yeah sure why not,

With that, u just wander around the area, checking out all the plants and animals

The fennec foxes are so adorable

Oh shit some mint and sweet flower, finally

Oh hell yeah a sunsettia, u got food now 💪

U hold onto some of it to sell (including a low violet grass hell yeah)

Crunchin and munchin ur way thru Liyue now, it isnt until u find a particularly wooded area that u hear ur first sign of human life

...

Stand corrected,

Unlife...?

A soft hum, almost a lullaby, comes from Qiqi as she picks up other flowers youve never seen before (ooo new liyue plants)

Should u just leave? She seems busy and u dont wanna distract her bc she might forget to go back to her task..

Wait a minute.

On the other hand,

Now you can finally achieve one of your many goals in Genshin that you couldn't as a player.

Help Qiqi collect herbs and guide her back,

And scold Baizhu. >:)

.

(whats he gonna do?? call the milieth on you??? for some rude person who doesnt like the way he makes a child wander off, who has memory issues and cant find her way back??? thats what you thought)

.

Approaching the tiny zombie girl, you purposely step on a branch to let her know ur there

...she doesn't even flinch, instead she vvveerrryy slooowwwlllyyy lifts her head up from her bent position

Her big doe eyes 🥺

They dont look empty, or dead just kinda dreamy

She tilts her head, the adepti paper covering an eye

Qiqi: "...do I know you? ..you feel... familiar..."

Oh this is crazy, she sounds exactly like in game, but instead of in a screen, her voice is in front of you

You respond "Oh I don't think so?" You introduce yourself,

"Are you alone out here? The sun is setting..."

It didnt strike you until now, but the zombie girl is so... so... tiny

OMGGGG😫💘

I mean, you knew the kids were small, but not 5-6 year old small!!!

Qiqi stands, and you see her holding a basket in the crook of her other arm, full of greenery

(some u recognize like violet grass, horsetails, but others are completely new, wow u gotta wander around Liyue after u find somewhere to sleep tonight to check out how much more fleshed out it is irl...)

The little cryo user is the picture perfect image of sweetness 💝✨️

The paper falls to the side, and both of her gentle pink eyes look up at you (💔)

Qiqi answers slowly, "...I messed up my routine, I forgot to get herbs this morning...so I couldn't make the medicine for today... I'm getting them now instead.."

She turns to the right, then left, and blinks a few times (💔💔💔)

She kinda looks like she forgot the way back,, you figure you might as well ask

"Do you want help getting back to town? The pharmacy right?"

Qiqi looks back at you, and nods, "Okay...thank you..."

And

And!!

She takes YOUR HANNNDDDD 😫😫😫💔💔💔

Her small fingers are cold, and they wrap around only two of your fingers

SOBBING

Trying to hold the squeal inside urself, you turn and begin to walk off together, following the path around Mt. Tianheng into town

♤

HELL YEAH QIQI TIME LETS GOOO

After hearing about your homeless situation, Qiqi and Baizhu offer the guest room for the night, also partially as a thank you for helping Qiqi (thank fuck theyre that nice)

After talking on the way over,

Turns out that Baizhu lives just out of town of Liyue, (not found in the game, was is it with not showing characters houses...) that way he has some greenery around his house, and has a garden out back :D 🌱

Baizhu just gets this strange familiar feeling from you (it almost reminds him of,, seeing a regular customer that has been to see him hundreds of times...) that convinces him to offer you a job at the pharmacy, in exchange for living in the guest room for awhile ! ! WOO

MISSION 1:

FIND SOMEWHERE TO SLEEP + GET A JOB, COMPLETED

♧

Now MISSION 2:

GET MONEY, GET FOOD, SCOLD BAIZHU, LOVE QIQI

Literally on the first day out ur like,, Baizhu.

My boss, my friend, my buddy, my homie, my guyyyyy

U gotta let me go with Qiqi from now on, she will literally get lost hoe. 😐

Tapping ur foot at him and everything,

He's a little intimidated tbh bc ur so upfront about it, and agrees

U lowkey shame his parenting (and he actually feels quilty wow)

WITHIN THE FIRST COUPLE DAYS SHE ALSO SAID THIS!!

"Since we first met, I have had a warm feeling inside. Not the kind of warmth that makes me feel rotten. The other kind of warm. The one that happens inside my heart. Thank you. I am happy. Sadly I only recognize the current you. If I forget you... No. I will order myself to remember you."

AHHHHHHHH PERFECT CHILD <333

(Once again, if u read my Razor post, another person who can't quite articulate what you are as the Creator, but just has a feeling about you that ur cozy and safe :')

◇

SO QIQI CANONICALLY HAS A NOTEBOOK ALREADY!!

(U help her press flowers in it to both leave inside as a pleasent surprise when she forgets about them, and attach some to the front 💖)

And SHE HAS A SCHEDULE.

In the morning, she goes herb picking, then makes medicine, and then does stretches at the end of the day before bed

(At least im pretty sure thats it, it was like 3 things so she could remember easily)

ON LIKE,, THE FIRST FEW DAYS WITH HER, SHE STARTS TO FOLLOW U AROUND MORE AND MORE LIKE A LITTLE DUCKLING

And she even says "...I started memory training exercises recently. So don't worry, I won't forget who you are." 🥲💘

◇

Qiqi seemed excited to tell u all the plants u dont recognize and what they do in medicine,

U mostly think that bc she walked and talked a little faster,

her emotions arent super obvious bc apparently her facial muscles arent super flexible... :/

(she later on after she trusts you more, will sometimes let u rub her little cheeks and massage her face to let her have more range, she looks like a content kitten those times 😭😭)

But when ur not out and about Liyue's nature with Qiqi,

U do little odd jobs around Liyue, like dog walking, delivering peoples' medicine, and u even registered w/the Adventurer's Guild so u could take on small commissions :D

U used ur money to buy ingredients to cook food for urself and the household (bc Baizhu cant make anything besides soup and tea apparantly srsly how is this man alive)

And thru a series of trial and error (and consulting Xiangling..)

U made coconut milk!!! ✨️🥥🥛

Qiqi loved. It. Every. Time.

She's not tall enough to reach the kitchen counters w/o a stool, but she can peek her little head over it and put her fingers on the edge, which she does everytime u make it 😫😫🥺🥺

She has a 6th sense for everytime u make it, no matter where she is in the house/nearby lol

It was also one of the things she wrote down in her notebook that she didnt wanna forget LMAO

Next to a reminder that she knows you + other facts abt u, is "can make coconut milk"

You can bribe her with it too lol

QIQI BEST KITCHEN HELPER

Shes already Baizhu's assistant, so she is great at cutting, chopping, and prepping ingredients

She insists on helping u everytime, she'll even delay her morning routine for u to make breakfast <3

(U also make sure to remind her to eat and hydrate consistently, bc thatd be hard af to keep track of w/ memory issues, i would know 💀)

◇

U also used ur money to buy clothes for urself and her!! <3

Also apparently u still have access to the character menu? And ur inventory?? And quests???

U CAN UPGRADE QIQI

(YESS YESSS- MAKE HER THE STRONGEST CHILD IN THE WORLD, GODLIKE STRENGTH THE IMMORTAL UNDYING QIQI AGENDA HAHAHAHA)

(Her outfits show up in her outfit screen!! theres just kinda a hologram button hovering over her chest at all times..)

She seems rlly fond of upgrading her, her weapon, and artifacts bc she likes to be a stronk 💪girl to protect ppl she loves aw <3

(SHE SAID SHE WAS HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO PROTECT U BETTER THE FIRST TIME U ASCENDED HERRRR 😭💘

She also likes to help u out with commissions too, it brings her some variety in her day that shes become fond of!!

(Shes also become fond of you and all the exciting things ur doing)

AND

Ur quests menu is rlly helpful for you but also her!! U just gently reroute her or remind her everytime she needs it :)

(she has slowly gone from asking you what she forgot/what she was supposed to be doing, to just... LOOKING UP AT YOUUUUU FOR THE ANSWERRRR W/O SAYING ANYTHINGGGGG 💔💔💔💔💔💔)

◇

Bc u got jackshit all else to do in ur freetime, other than exploring, u started picking up some hobbies thatll benefit the both of you!

U bought some fabric and whatnot to make Qiqi a backpack!! So she doesnt have to carry around the herb basket anymore

(the ones being sold were too expensive, and werent quite right for her anyway, but u did stab urself enough times that Baizhu gave u bandages..)

You give it to her on her birthday!! (she also remembered yours!! She gave u herbal medicine and a necklace of gemstones she handmade like noctilous jade and cor lapis cries)

It has lots of pockets, bc Qiqi also likes to get interesting rocks or non-medicinal flowers to give you while yall are outside <3

She loves the backpack, u saw her make the

♡tiniest♡

Smile ever, which made it even cuter to see

(She also just, held it to her chest the whole day 😭)

◇

ALSO BC SHE STRIKES ME AS A SLOW BURN TYPE OF PERSON TO LOVE SOMEONE (idk if u get that feeling but thats what it seems like to me esp with her memory needing time to remember a new person, she apparently canonically cant always remember Baizhu's face??)

SO A RANDOM DAY AFTER ABOUT A MONTH AND A HALF, YALL WERE ABOUT TO GO HERB PICKING AGAIN AS USUAL,

WHEN SHE TOOK UR SLEEVE AND JUST,, STAYED THERE THE WHOLE TIME,,

EVEN WHEN SHE WAS HERB PICKING-

🫂🫂🫂

Was that your soul leaving your body? Maybe 🤷‍♂️

But when yall r in a crowd of Liyueans and tourists, she straight up latches onto ur hand like a vice grip

She WILL NOT lose you, and ur holding back just as hard, you WILL NOT lose ur amnesiac child!!!

She likes to come into town with u when u go bc while shes not a fan of crowds, she can deal with them a lot better when ur there 🥺

Plus she wants to be able to look out for you!!

SUCH A SWEETHEARTTT

When u asked why she didnt like crowds the first time yall went SHE SAID

"Some people want to take advantage of me. Others are terrified of me. But you... You are not like any of those people."

QIIIIQQQIIIIIII MY BELOVEDDDD CHILDDDD 🥲🥲🥲😭😭😭😭

(ALL OF THESE ARE CANON VOICELINES BTW EXCEPT FOR YALLS FIRST MEETING AT THE TOP!!!)

♡

Ok so she was already pretty strong before you, but now esp since u started upgrading her-

Qiqi is hella strong and has great stamina

U saw this in action in real time when Hu Tao was strolling down the path near where yall were herb picking off to the side

Hu Tao and Qiqi like... locked eyes-

U were looking down at plants but noticed Qiqi not moving, and looked up to see the most intense staring contest ever LMAO

AND LIKE SOME KIND OF LIKE BIRD OR SQURRIEL WHEN THEY LIKE FREEZE AND THEN BOLT WHEN U ARENT EXPECTING IT THEY ARE OFF LMFAO

QIQI IS RUNNING FOR THE HILLS, ITS LITERALLY INSANE TO WATCH HER BE SO FAST AHSHAKKALDFH

HU TAO IS ALSO FAST BUT LIKE THERES STILL A GOOD AMOUNT OF DISTANCE BETWEEN THEM-

AS U FINALLY GET OVER THE SHOCK, U RUN AFTER THEM LOL

THEY QUICKLY OUT PACE UR SLOW ASS AND UR HUNCHED OVER DYING AND JUST BEFORE THEY GET OUT OF RANGE U HEAR-

"YOU HAVE TO LET ME PUT YOU TO REST, DON'T WORRY YOU'LL LIKE IT DOWN THERE THE DIRT IS NICE AND COLD!!"

AND AN INDIGNANT "No!"

LMAO HU TAO GIVES UP 2 HOURS LATER, AND QIQI WAS LITERALLY RUNNING AND CLIMBING THE WHOLE TIME LMFAO

◇

SO IDK IF YALL SEEN IT BUT THERES A TRAILER OUT ABOUT XIAO i think??

AND AT ONE POINT QIQI CANONICALLY SAYS SHE CARRIED HIM WHEN HE WAS PASSED OUT BACK TO THE PHARMACY 💀

U WERE THERE WHEN YALL FOUND XIAO

it was kinda shocking to finally have ran into him (bc u figured there was no way he would come down to see some rando human, even if u had almond tofu)

AND HE'S PASSED OUT??!!?!?!

Top ten most disturbing images: Xiao face first on the ground, out of it

And while ur like panicking "omfg how tf am i gonna carry this mf all the way back to the pharmacy, omg what happened, oh jesus this is insane its literally XIAO and he's PASSED OUT-"

Qiqi in the background like, "hup"

And just arranges him in a piggyback carry, his legs and arms sticking straight out in front of her, his ass almost touching the GROUNNNDDD😭😭😭

You: *shocked pikachu face meme LMAOOO

◇

I LOVE THAT THIS IS CANON OHMYGODTHIS MIGHT BETHE FUNNIEST SHIT OUT OF GENSHIN LORE/STORY YET

♤

Bonus: Zhongli has been going in-fucking-sane trying to locate where u are lol, Hu Tao literally made him take a few days off bc he was pacing around the harbor so much 😭

He always seems to get to where you are, just as you leave the area (apparently Qiqi's deathlike presence throws off ur very full of life one)

Literally as soon as you landed (woke up?) On Liyue soil, he was hyper aware of you

The other adepti are searching the rest of Liyue just in case ur someone where else

Lol wonder how long it took him to realize u were just workin at Bubu Pharmacy LMAO

Tell me what to write! :) ♡

Reminder: A 100+ Followers celebration POLL!!

HOLY FUCK!!

OML

OMFG

SATAN ON A STICK-

THIS IS SO LONG 😭????? WHAT HAPPENED

THIS THING AS LONG AS A FALL INTO THE ABYSS

HELL-

WHAT THE FUCK

WELL NOW I KNOW WHY IT TOOK ME SO DAMN LONG TO POST ANYTHING FOR A FEW DAYS BC THIS IS A FREAK OF NATURE

I ALREADY MADE THE LAST ONE TOO LONG AND NOW HERE WE ARE CRYING

I hope u enjoyed this fucking monster anon sob-

oh my god im actually shocked you guys, i just scrolled up and down this thing-

I can't even like, flick it once and let it scroll really fast and reach the top u know what i mean?? 😟😰🙂🙃🥲

I just,, i had so many ideas, and as i typed and tried to get them all down i-

uh,, aNyWaY,,, enjoy yalls week guys...😟😃 distantsobbing

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡ the beloveds ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza

[midnxght-sweet-time]

Beta Riddle fic??????? 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Im on my knees pls tell us more 👉👈

Yes Im working on a Beta Riddle fic-

I swear I have scour the whole entirety of social media and have only found TWO fics of Beta Riddle and about five fanarts at best. IM DESPERATELY CRAVING FOR SOME BETA RIDDLE EVEN IF HIS NOT CANON- I WANT HIM AS LIKE A SIDE CHARAC OR SMTHG T^T

On that note, i have decided the best way is to just feed myself. Dont get me wrong I love the strawberry ant boi we have now but like-

The concept of Riddle? Being spoiled and bratty???

Can no one see how unhinge he couldve been? How even more satisfying it will be to defeat him when he OB?

Sadly my fic wont include any OB (unless I think of an idea to shove it in) but I'll give a brief— I always wondered how we would have to sympathize with Riddle even if he is a spoiled brat. Cuz keep in mind the whole goal of Twst is to litterally tame all these rowdy hormonial teens with i s s u e s.

Beta Riddle out of all them— if we replace him with canon Riddle into the canon universe, seems like the most well off dorm leader compare to the rest. Until when you realize, sometimes even the most brattiest person, the one who has been given alot since childhood can be neglected.

Aksjaksjaksk ALLOW ME TO BRAINROT RANT— I see Beta Riddle as touch starved- (as he should be lmao cuz twst is a 'non otome game' right ?) He was given everything as a child. He had a choice to not study, he got all the most expensive luxuries, all the toys, got a tart for his birthday, etc etc. What every child dream off- hell I wont be surprise beta Riddle's mom lets him eat ice cream before dinner.

But the one thing Riddle has never been given all throughout his life, was genuine care.

Cheesy ik- but heres what I hced/imagined:

Ever since young, beta Riddle is just as isolated as canon Riddle. Only the reason his so isolated is because his homeschooled by a hired teacher. His mother is always away busy with work so she never had much time for him. She spoils him with toys and gifts he wants to keep him happy but never bothered making time to give him what he needs. I imagined beta Riddle as a child used to be as hardworking at canon Riddle but overtime when he realized his efforts were only glossed over by his mom, he slowly starts to despise studying. Its like Leona's case where, he knows his mom wont even celebrate with him no matter how many A's he filled up his exams.

Might as well stop trying and seek attention elsewhere which is why when he came to NRC, the first time he ever get a chance to be in a crowd or what was considered public. He probs took the role as dorm leader of Heartslabyul because the old leader was a sticker for rules which is why it was so easy to grab that position when you can just cheat. Besides.. it doesnt seem the dorm members care much for these rules. Just break them all and call it a day.

Yes he has a chance to be with Trey and Chen'ya but they feel more like servants to him then friends. Especially Trey. But what can they do? They cant tell if Riddle cares for them enough to listen to them. And besides, Chen'ya probably gets a kick in making Riddle mad and flustered while Trey is just the 'I dont get paid enough for this shit—' babysitter. We already know Trey didnt bother stepping up to Riddle and smack some sense into him til he OB, tf is my baker boi gonna do with this bratty boi? Just let the man bake his tarts and be a malewife. All that problem solving goes to the one darling Riddle falls for and is desperately seeking their attention even if it were an act of defiance or looks of disgust >;3

This fic will take me a couple of weeks or more to complete cuz I only have the planning on board but how I will execute this writing will be slightly difficult.

[highonthought]

Freakin bumble man 😂

So the dance guy ive been talking to is actually mad fucking fun 🙄😜. I hope these emojis show up on the desktop version

Ok so anyway my last weekend:

Dude im trying so hard to remeber how this weekend started, ive seen him a lot this weekend. Oh ok thats right the vintage market. So i hadnt seen this dude in almost two weeks since the first date we went on. And i wasnt sure if i was going to again at that point, bc our schedules kept not syncing up and he was busy, or i was busy.

I was going to the night Market with bestie and her friend, and this guy texted that day saying “oh you should come see me at the market, im going to be MCing the dance battle.” And i was like worm ok! Im going to that anyway! So us girls go, look around, i say hello to him. He’s doing his thing on the mic, talking to me, doing his thing on the mic. It was cute, he kept coming back to me haha. He would take some steps away to be closer to the sound system bc of the range on the mic. And we’re talking, he asks me what im doing after, i say NOTHING WHAT YOU DOING BBGIRL (but more cool and slick lmao). So he says hes off at 930. I leave and go back to my friends, we walk around and look at the clothes, we leave to get some food, i didnt eat much bc i was hoping to actually go out after with this guy. And ok so like the way he talks, hes very coy, cery go with the flow, and im not always sure what is a joke or if he fr want me (LMAO), so at that point i still wasnt sure if i was going to die anything with him after. But i showed vstie the texts with this guys and she told me that yea, he for sure wanted to hang with me after. So they drop me back off at the market at 930, but wait for me in the parking lot just in case. The plan was for me to go chat up the guy snd see what the move was, then text them and let them know if i was staying or going with them. BUT, i felt bad about making them wait that i texted them “ok u can go” before i even talked to the guy. Dude, i was nervous to go up and talk to him again bc he was around all his friends and i was now ALONE. If he had said no, the plan was for me to just uber home bc bestie had driven me there. But ANYWAY, i say hi, he says hes going tonhelp cleanup the dj and aound setup and i can meet up out in the lobby after im done shopping. And i was like OMG YAAAYY (on the inside, bc i really like him, he rizzed me tf up, hes cery goody and silly and fun to be around).

And we go to dennys after. Dennys was fun, hes a good chat. I hate when people kill conversations and he wasnt doing that. OK but then after Denny’s, he drives me home, and he made a joke of like oh you should try and sneak me in and I said OK for real. So I go inside my house and double check if my family is asleep, they weren’t so I go back to his car to say goodbye And as a joke, I said to him that he could come back in like two hours, basically at 2 AM, and he could sneak in then. And he said OK! He really said yeah OK I could do that! So he stayed in the area with some friends and then he came back at two fucking AM LMAO. And I did sneak him in . And rachel got some ACCCTIOOOON. Quietly bc my parnets were still asleep in their room. And he stayed the night until 7 am -oop 😅😳. I had sonmuch fun, hes so cute and hes a big cuddler. Bros got pretty ass eyes fr. I like, coulndt sleep tho bc i was scared i would sleep through my alarm and not sneak him back out in the morning hahah. Ok so this was all friday night, and i snuck him out saturday morning.

On SATURDAY! my friends invite me to go out to the bars at night and I do. And I was texting that guy, and told him that I would be kind of near his city, and he said that he might come and see me. So I told my friends that, I told him that I might dip towards the end of the night to go be with this guy. But the bar we ended up going to was kind of farther away and guess what? He still came to get me 💀. I was so excited and happy he was literally like 25 minutes away so he did he came and he got me and we drove around, got jack in the box, and we made out and he took me back to where my car was parked in my friends place, and I don't know what we said but we ended up deciding to get a motel, so we go to Motel 6 and Rachel has another rendezvous and she was happy as fuck. ANNNDDD in the morning too. Anyway hes good in bed prrrrrr 😅😂😂😂. It was actually so fun not having to be quiet. He has really nice lips. Ok so that was saturday night to sunday morning when we checked out of the hotel

ON SUNDAY, he went to work, but he works in my city and he texted me wanting to hang out after he got off work :))) 😇😇. He brought us food from the place he works at, and we had a little picnic at the park and walked around. Dude im so mad, hes super cute and i cant stop thinking abouuuttt himmmmm. Im just going through this weekend over in my head bc BROO STOOOPP. I really, i cant. I wont him 👁️ 👄 👁️. But, ive known him barely two weeks lol, so we’ll see. Im having a lot if fun tho :)

[hpimaginesandblurbs]

can you pleasee do pt 2 to draco fucking his arranged marriage wife of the next day the reader being needy saying that she can’t get enough of him while he’s working in his office and he’s like “babe im busy😑” but then rails tf outta her right there😀 with like praise and daddy kink😩😩😩

read part 1 here

pairing: draco malfoy x reader

word count: 3.0k

warning(s): 18+, dom/sub roles, daddy kink, praise, slight degradation/humiliation, mentions of arranged marriage

a/n: i have been so excited to write a part two to this imagine the second i got the request. there will also be a part three coming soon so if you like these stay tuned! these have to be my favorite ones i've ever written.

It was the day after your marriage truly started. Although you and your husband, Draco Malfoy, had been married for weeks, the marriage truly began yesterday.

It had been a whirlwind.

It all began with you fucking your ex boyfriend, something you did in a desperate attempt to receive physical contact and get out of the house you had thought to be a prison.

When your husband came home, you decided it would be a brilliant idea to tell him. It was an arranged marriage, one that he did not seem enthusiastic to be a part of, so you figured there would be no hard feelings.

You were incredibly, incredibly wrong.

He had a lot of feelings about your adultery, but not only was there the anger and jealousy you were expecting, there was sadness. That had taken you by surprise, and only after poking the dragon, you finally consummated your marriage with your husband. Right there on the couch of the entrance hall.

After he had fucked you silly, you both reached the agreement that you would actually try to work as a real marriage. You had both made mistakes, and you were both ready and excited to move past those and really try to build a relationship out of what you had both thought was doomed from the start.

Which was why you were in front of his study, a hand raised and ready to knock, the following evening. He had been in there most of the day, working on a project for what you had learned to be connected to the Malfoy’s family business, but you were ready to put an end to his work day in the best way you knew how.

Your hand had barely connected with the wood when you heard a curt “Come in,” from the other side of the door.

You opened the door slowly and walked in, taking in the sight before you. There were papers scattered all over the desk, inkwells and quills mixed into the mess. Either you caught him at a bad time, or he wasn’t as tidy as you had assumed.

But it wasn’t the desk that caught your eye. It was him.

His button down shirt was rolled up the elbows at the cuffs. His hands, already littered with rings, were smudged with ink and deftly writing something down on a piece of parchment. There wasn’t a single hair out of place on his head, but what struck you were his glasses. You didn’t even know he wore glasses. But he looked damn good in them, because of course he fucking did.

“Yes?” He asked, a smug smile on his face as he watched you openly check him out. You hadn’t even realized he had looked up from the parchment he had been writing on.

“Just figured you could use a break, dinner’s ready,” you explained, quickly catching yourself.

“I’ll be out in a bit. I just need to finish this bit up,” he replied, an obvious dismissal but you had had enough of that over the past two weeks to last a lifetime.

“Draco, you’ve obviously been at this for a while. Just come take a break,” you argued defiantly, happy with the knowledge you finally felt comfortable enough to do so.

“Y/N, I’m busy,” he said gently, clearly not wanting to break the carefully made balance you had just created with a silly argument, but you couldn’t help yourself.

You admitted it to yourself when you walked in the room. You didn’t really want him to take a break just to have dinner with you. No. You wanted him to take a break so he would fuck you right over his desk.

“You can finish it later,” you continued, your arms crossed over your chest as you waited for his eventual push back.

But his argument never came.

Slowly, painfully slow, he began to stack up his papers in neat piles to put them away. Next were the inkwells being covered and finally the quills being put away. All without a word between you both.

When his desk was cleared, he finally turned his attention back to you.

“You come into my study and argue with me over taking a break just to go eat dinner. You haven’t bothered to ask me to dinner once over the past few weeks. So is it really dinner that’s got you so riled up, or is it something else?” He asked straight faced, but the twinkle in his eye led you to believe he knew exactly why you were arguing.

“Can’t a wife just want to spend time with her husband?” You argued, but it didn’t hold the impact you wanted the words to have.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he said, pushing his chair back just slightly. “Come here,” he commanded, crooking his fingers in your direction.

With just two silly little words your skin was flushed and your nerves were on fire. You weren’t sure what type of hold this man had over you, but it ran deep for only having just fucked him the day before for the first time.

You followed his command without a second thought, and it led you to standing right between his spread legs with your back pressed up against his now pristine desk.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think my wife just wants to get fucked. Am I correct?” He asked, raking his eyes over your body greedily, taking in every inch of you. You were just lucky you dressed to impress tonight in a perfect, form-fitting black cocktail dress. It didn’t leave much to the imagination.

“Yes,” you answered easily, completely giving up the fight now that you could see the hunger that you felt reflected in his eyes.

He gave you a slow smile before dragging you down to straddle his lap, perfectly placing you so you could feel his growing erection against your core as he kissed you roughly. It was perfect after a day of craving him so fiercely, and you knew this was only the appetizer.

His hands possessively roamed your body as he continued to dominate your kiss, finally landing on your ass to pull you closer against him. Your hands made quick work of taking his glasses off and gently placing them on the desk somewhere behind you before trailing through his hair, messing up his perfectly placed platinum locks.

You couldn’t stop yourself from grinding down on him, moans spilling from both of your lips at the friction. He let you do as you please for a few minutes, just enjoying kissing you and having you in his lap, but once your hands went to undo the buttons on his shirt, he gripped your hips roughly and pushed you back.

“Let’s get one thing straight, pretty girl. I’m in charge, and you’ll be a good girl and do as I say, won’t you?” He asked, running a thumb along your lower lip as he spoke.

You bit his finger gently before answering, and your answer only riled him up more than the bite did.

“Yes, Daddy.”

And just like that he unleashed himself on you, much like he had done the day before.

He had you on your feet and spun around faster than you could even blink. Within the next breath, your dress was being stripped off of your body and thrown across the room, your breasts exposed. When he had you bent over the desk with just a thong on, he finally opened his mouth again.

“You’re gonna be a good girl for Daddy, aren’t you, pretty girl?” He asked, dragging his hands up the back of your thighs until he was grabbing your ass again.

“Yes,” you gasped out, knowing you were already drenched from his words and touch alone.

When you felt his palm connect with your raised ass, you couldn’t hold back the whimper that fell from your lips.

“Yes, what?” He asked, rubbing his hands in circles to soothe the ache, but the contrast of his warm skin and cold rings only left you shaking.

“Yes, Daddy,” you answered, saying the words again.

They were meant to be a joke at first. Just another jest to rile him up and poke at him. But now, after having called him Daddy twice, it was starting to feel right. Like this was exactly the dynamic you were meant to be in with him.

“So much better. Look at you, already dripping down your thighs,” he mused, his finger trailing up your thigh in what you could only assume was a patch of wetness, a blush falling over your face at the thought.

He dragged your thong down your legs and slowly freed your feet before tossing the scrap of fabric across the room as well, leaving you totally exposed.

“Is this what you wanted? To be bent over Daddy’s desk just begging to be fucked?” He asked, his weight pinning you down as he bent over, slowly dragging his lips up the side of your neck as he spoke. You could feel how hard he was against your ass and you fought now to roll your hips into him, but you knew he would put an end to it anyway.

“Please fuck me,” you begged quietly, your words no more than a whisper as you played right into the fantasy he was spinning for the both of you.

“Patience, darling,” he said accompanied by a dark chuckle, but he didn’t leave you wanting.

He kept his weight on you, his lips leaving open mouth kisses on your neck that were sure to leave bruises for the coming days, but he dragged a finger up your slit and plunged inside of you.

You were so on edge that the one finger almost made you cum right then, but of course he was careful to make sure that didn’t happen. He teased you along until one finger turned into two, and by then you were a writhing mess on his desk.

“Daddy, please. I’m ready. Just fuck me,” you begged impatiently, all of your focus on him and his miraculous fingers.

Silently, he pulled back to stand up fully behind you. For a moment, you thought you’d be getting what you wanted, but you should have known it was too good to be true. You weren’t getting fucked until he thought you were ready.

You felt his thumbs pull your lips apart, and you knew all of his focus was right on you, right on where you were a dripping mess for him and that had you fighting not to squirm under his gaze.

“I told you to be patient, pretty girl. Or are you just that desperate to cum you couldn’t help yourself? Because this pretty little hole isn’t ready for me yet,” he mused, and his words forced an unexpected moan out of you.

You were exposed and aching, a true flushed mess in front of him, while he was a master of poise and control, still fully clothed behind you. Something about the situation made your head spin and your knees weak, and you knew you were in for a wild ride with this man. But you were willing to take anything and everything he threw your way because there was no denying you were enjoying every second of this. Not when he was holding you open obscenely and could see the evidence for himself.

“I want to cum,” you answered honestly, your breasts grinding on the desk and you arched your back, further exposing yourself in the hopes that he would fulfill your wishes.

While still holding you open, he used one gentle finger to stroke over your clit and it was just enough pressure to cause a shiver to run down your spine. If he kept it up, you knew you’d cum in seconds. “Go ahead, cum for me. Let me watch you make a mess of yourself,” he commanded, keeping the gentle pressure on your clit.

You came with a scream, your legs shaking beneath you. The desk was the only reason you stayed up, otherwise you would have collapsed from the force of your orgasm right there. It felt like one of the most intense orgasms of your life, all just from a little flick of his finger.

As you came down, you were gasping for air, just as desperate for your next breath as you were for Draco’s cock. No matter how mind shattering your orgasm had been, you were still craving more. You’d always crave more from him.

“That was beautiful, darling - watching you clench around nothing as you screamed for me. I think you’re ready for my cock now,” he mused, slowly stroking his hands up and down your back in an effort to calm your body, but every nerve was on fire from his touch.

“Please, please, fuck me Draco. I need you,” you were begging shamelessly now, not even worried about making a fool of yourself in this new marriage. You were both too invested in this moment to care, both of you just knew you needed each other.

“Shh, you have me, pretty girl. I’m right here,” he soothed, placing gentle kisses on your shoulders as he worked to free his cock behind you. “Stay just like that.”

You didn’t even know he had succeeded in taking his cock out until you felt his tip against your entrance, and he didn’t wait a second longer. He plunged into you like he was just as desperate as you were, which by the way he was fucking you in brutal strokes, you could tell he was.

Your hands clutched the edge of the desk for dear life, your knuckles a bright white against the dark oak wood. With every thrust, your hips collided with the sharp edge, sure to leave some marks for you to admire the next day.

You could feel the power behind each deep, hard stroke and you knew he was giving you his all. The previous night had been kind and sweet compared to the brutal fucking he was giving you now. You felt fucked within an inch of your life and he had barely even started.

“Fuck, Y/N. You take me so fucking well. So perfect,” he praised, not even sounding out of breath. Meanwhile, you couldn’t even control the noises that were coming from your mouth.

You climbed up the peak steadily, but even in your cock drunk daze you knew this orgasm would wipe you out. Once you were about to reach the edge, he pulled out.

“No, please, fuck. I was so close,” you whined, but a startled gasp came out of your mouth next when he lifted you up and spun you around, your back crashing back down on the desk with a gentle thud.

You finally got the chance to look at him, then. His cock was hard and aching, on the verge of falling over the edge himself. His hair was disheveled and he had that glow that only sex could bring coming from his perfect skin, but when you locked eyes you couldn’t look away. His silver eyes were clouded with lust and possession, a man closing in for the kill on his prey. It was terrifying and arousing all at once, but you were sure your own eyes reflected something similar.

Draco wasted no time in hoisting your legs over his shoulders and coming down to take your lips in a brutal kiss just before fucking back into you, his pace the same as it had been in the previous position. He swallowed your moans greedily, but finally pulled back to just concentrate on your face.

“I needed to look at you when you came on my cock. Show me how pretty you look when you fall apart for me,” he ordered, but his voice was gentle and there was a smile fighting to tug on his face. It didn’t hold the same dominance his previous commands did, but you followed it all the same.

One, two, three thrusts later you came with his name on your lips as he fucked you through it. It was like your whole world blacked out and only the two of you existed, suspended in this moment as he stared down at your blissed out face. He followed you shortly, and the feel of him emptying himself inside of you accompanied by the litany of choked out praises he was giving you was almost enough to push you into a third orgasm.

You both stayed like that as the minutes passed, chest to chest and near face to face as you caught your breath. It was no easy feat after an orgasm like that, but finally he was wrapping you in his arms and balancing you in his lap as he got comfortable in his desk chair once again.

“Was that too much?” He asked, the concern dripping from his voice as he tenderly brushed your hair from your face.

You could have laughed at his concern. That was the best sex you had ever had in your life, and he was asking if it was too much. But you didn’t want to worry him.

“Draco, that was perfect. I loved every second of it,” you told him honestly, tilting your head up so you could look him in the eye so he would have no room for doubt.

It was him who laughed then, in sheer disbelief of the woman curled up in his lap. “I got too lucky with you. You’re perfect,” he said with a smile, a small kiss to your forehead following his words.

“I think I’m the lucky one,” you insisted, curling further into his chest as the events of the evening finally wore on your body. It was comfortably silent for a few minutes as he held you, until you remembered why you had truly come into his study in the first place. “But I was serious when I came in. Dinner’s ready,” you reminded him with a slight giggle.

“How about I get you up to bed and we eat dinner in bed, hm?” He asked, already lifting you up and carrying you towards the door.

“Sounds perfect,” you said, relaxing against his strong chest as he continued to prove just how lucky you were to end up in this arranged marriage.

[babu-haitani]

OK ok listen up. Mikey saw a guy beating up some punk and immediately went to him. Mikey asked the guy to meet up with him and his gang at like 10pm and gave him the location. The boy said yes ofc

It's 10pm and Mikey kept talking about how he found a new strong potential member for toman bla bla bla.. Then there's a girl showing up.. A girl with baggy pants. Yk that American street style where girls wear baggy pants and we can see their thong? Yeah, that's the type of style.

Then everyone is confused, even Mikey, then the girl starts explaining that she just went out to get something and just grabbed whatever she could to go out (something big enough to cover her feminine traits and make her look like a boy)

Draken: How tf could you mistake a girl for a boy?!

Mikey: she was wearing really big baggy clothes and her hair covered her face!! I couldn't tell!

Ft. Draken, Mikey, the captain division and the co-captains

Details: reader has hair similar to the picture but her bangs cover her face all the time, like we never see her eyes. Reader is black and barely smile but is actually very sweet and nice. Reader is super tall,taller than draken but smaller than Hanma

This fiction felt so rushhhhh!! I'm sorry If I didn't do your exact request :< but I still hope you would like it though :< <3

Ladies and Gentlemen, HER (Tokyo Revengers)

Genre: Humor?? Fluff?? Slight Violence

Pairings: Toman x FEM! Reader

TW: Mentions of knife and Beating up people

Everyone was staring at you, Mikey and Draken arguing in the background. "How the actual fuck would you mistake a girl for a guy?!" Draken scolded Mikey, veins were visible on his temple. "How should I know!? She was wearing really like really baggy clothes!" Mikey pouted as he crossed his arms. You let out a deep sigh. How did you even end up in this mess? Why were you even here??? To be honest...This was your fault...

Time Check 7:45 PM, It was a cold Saturday night and you were hungry as hell. So you decided to go out to go and buy some snacks at a nearby convenience store since you're just gonna stay outside for a few minutes. You decided to let your curly hair down, your bangs blocking your face as you wear your black mask. Completely hide your facial features. "Why the hell is it so fucking cold..." You cursed under your breath as you rubbed both of your hands together to create some type of friction. After walking for about 5 minutes, you finally reached your destination. "Fucking give me your money, Old man!" You heard a man yell from the alleyway beside the convenience store, you'd be lying if you say that you don't have any sense of justice. Curiosity running all over your body, you walked over the corner and saw an Old Hobo being threatened by a guy that looks like in his mid 20's. "Please...this is all I have..." The old man begged as he bent over at the other guy's feet, curiosity was flushed out of your veins and anger started flowing inside of you. "Oi! Don't you think that's so low of you...bullying someone weaker than you?" You called out with eyebrows raised, Both of them turned to look at you. "Mind your own business, you fucker" The guy that looks like he is in his mid 20's spoke. You were hungry, It was a fucking cold night and you hate it when people go out their way and bully others. In short, you were in a fucking bad mood. Walking up to the guy, you grabbed him by his collar and threw him out of the alleyway. "Sir, here...go buy yourself some food..." You spoke as you gave the old man some spare change and gave him an angelic smile, walking out of the alleyway---You were greeted by a long-haired blonde boy, looking directly at you. Ahh, shit...someone saw you threw the guy...Let's just hope you won't eat your snacks later tonight at the police station... "Were you the one who threw him?!" He squeaked at you in a happy tone, you then unconsciously nodded. "Wow! You're shorter than me yet you managed to throw him..." He muttered under his breath as he turned his head to look at the unconscious guy on the floor. 'I think I threw him too hard...' You thought to yourself. "Hey!" The blonde boy called out to you. "Are you in a gang?" He questioned, you shook your head. He then flashed you a grin that could make anyone swoon over him, not gonna lie...He was really adorable. "Join me later at 10PM, Location is that Old Shrine 15 blocks away from here," He told you and then started walking away from you, you didn't have the chance to decline him when he just left you there.

Now...here you are in the present...You found out that his name was Manjiro Sano AKA Mikey and he happen to be the leader of the infamous gang that you've heard of...Tokyo Manjikai... "You're really stupid you know that Mikey" Mitsuya teased Mikey as he lightly patted Mikey who was pouting and mourning for his mistake. "I mean, you said she knows how to land a punch right?" Smiley asked as he eyed you up and down. "Big Brother..Don't stare at her too much...she might feel uncomfortable" Angry lightly scolded his older brother who then looked away from you. "Soooo...Did you really made a guy unconscious just by throwing them?" A raven-haired guy asked you as he leaned down to your to look at you better, avoiding his gaze, you slowly nodded. "Not a talker huh?" Baji added. "I just don't think I should talk to weirdos..." You then spoke, Baji flashed you a toothy grin but despite him grinning; a pissed expression was visible on his face. "You're lucky you're a girl...I would've to beat the shit out---" "If you guys don't want me here, I'll be leaving now...we're just wasting each other's time" You cut off Baji and started walking away but you were blocked by Draken. "we're still not done talking---" cutting off Draken, you landed a punch on his stomach making him fall onto his knees. Everyone looked at you wide-eyed. "I'm sorry...I didn't want to do that but you guys are giving me a headache...If you guys are okay with GIRLS joining your gang, you can always visit the convenience store 15 blocks away...I'm always there" You spoke and then walked out of the scene with a smile on your face. "Told you guys...She's worth it..." Mikey spoke as he snickered at all of them. "Stop snickering and fucking help me!" Draken yelled at his friend as he clenched his stomach. "Does it hurt?" Takemichi questioned Draken, The tall man just glared at him. "Right! Of course, it hurts! sorry!" Takemichi apologized. "If we're gonna recruit her, we want her in our Division!" Pah yelled while Peh was agreeing with his best friend. "Don't be stupid! like as if she wants to be with you two! We want her in our division, I like feisty women!" Smiley yelled at Pah, his brother huffing out a 'MM!'. Everyone spent the rest of their night, arguing about whether what division should they place you. To be honest, Mikey already knows what Division you'll be placed in...You were gonna be his Left-Hand Women! He found you first! and he isn't gonna waste any time befriending you! BONUS: While Toman was busy arguing about what division should they place you in, you were at the comfort of your home. Stuffing your face with Ramen and Soda. "Now...this is what it means to be alive..." You sighed as you smiled happily to yourself.

[goldentsum]

omgg can u do the idol reader thirst post with osamu, futakuchi, iwa, and sakusa 😳😳💓

━ thirst post with idol! reader - aces/wingspikers ver

CHARACTERS: azumane asahi, tanaka ryunosuke, miya osamu, futakuchi kenji, iwaizumi hajime, and sakusa kiyoomi

GENRE: suggestive themes, crack

AUTHOR’S NOTE: you guys really like them thirst posts huh but do not fret cus same HAHAHHA i hope you like this~ <3 my braincells are slowly decreasing :DDD

setters ver. | captains ver. | middleblockers ver. | libero ver. | spin-off ver. | spin-off 2

━ asahi ♡

he’s lowkey with being thirsty and people usually think he likes you because he’s a fashion designer and that you have the body type Asahi wants to dress up. 

That’s true though, Asahi would do anything to dress you up in lingerie oho~ 

He already has a lot of different sets he would do anything just for you to wear 

[simping_for.yn]: Can you just imagine (y/n) wearing a baby pink lingerie? i think i just short-circuited D: she would look so good with pink D: so innocent and soft D:

━ tanaka ♡

there’s a lot of dirty guys in hq and Tanaka is one of them bUT HE would never disrespect you like that! He may be horny but you are worth more than just another addition on his spank bank doesn’t mean he wouldn’t though

When he first saw you, he was in high school, and growing up with you was just a whole rollercoaster ride. he remembers the smol young you who would blush and giggle when your group members or other people compliment you

NOW, you were a whole WOMAN! A GODDESS!! You’re a whole buffet and you really turned sinful like that huh....

[prayingso.ynwould_kickme]: i definitely remember smol (y/n) with pastel clothes on... WHAT IS THIS?! A SHORT BODYCON DRESS? YES MA’AM! PLEASE STEP ON ME!! 🤤🤤

━ osamu ♡

ah, the quiet twin. yes. perfection. damn girl, you must’ve saved a whole ass country in your past life to have this gorgeous man thirsting over you... sana ol

he knew your group when he was staying up late at youtube like it’s not a school night and he was HOOKED! THE CHOREO! THE VISUALS! THE VOCALS! THE RAPPING! SHOOKTH

Osamu might be quiet irl but on his twitter, tHIS BOI IS LOUD AND HORNY ON MAIN--! You were the rapper of your group and you can really spit fire and he was simping harder than ever! 

[hard_formy.babygirl.yn]: the way she spits fire hm yes thank you. its a fact and she eVEN SAID IT! SHE CAN MAKE ANYONE CUM WITH JUST THE WAY SHE SPIT! 

━ futakuchi ♡

futacoochie. yes, thank you for coming to my ted talk. aNYWAY--!! he’s lowkey a fuckboy not gonna lie because he’s currently simping over you to pay any attention or commit to other girls 

yOU ARE HIS ONE AND ONLY QUEEN! and he will fight anyone who tries to swerve into your lane.

usually he’s a cold dude and leaves a trail of broken hearts along his way but with you, he’s a whole baby. he’s all 🥺 with you

[yn_bestgirl.inthewholeworld]: the world ain't fair... i just want (y/n)’s pussy... is that too much to ask? please let me take care of you, (y/n), or just spit on me. whatever you want to do first 😔

━ iwaizumi ♡

daddy iwa 🥺 he’s still a bit shy about his obsession with you and your group but if ANYONE disrespects you, he will knock that asshole out so hard that they’ll be sleeping for a month. he gets triggered if anyone talks shit about you, your group, or your music!

Iwaizumi gets all defensive and will rant about how perfect you are and no one can stop him. Oikawa knew the consequence and he wasn’t even talking shit, the tol boi just mentioned that someone was talking shit on twitter but he got the ranting instead...

he’s a soft stan! he gets all flustered when you giggle and all. bUT BUT!!! when you turn into a little devil like there’s some switch in your brain, he gets attacked. and he’s shookth but he’s living for it! 

[ynismy_princess]: i’m a soft stan. no doubt about that bUT WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS BEING A HARD STAN ON MY TL, HOW TF AM I SUPPOSED TO STAY SOFT?? There’s a bdsm edit of (y/n) circulating around my tl and it won’t go away.... is this a calling that I should just be a hard stan and imagine (y/n) being gagged and tied up? i accept then.

━ sakusa ♡

another daddy 🥺 this man just release big dick energy like it’s nobody’s business--.. He doesn’t know how he got tangled up with your group but he’s not really complaining when he found someone being an intellectual for once (you)

you are the eldest of the group and the mom, you do all sorts of cleaning and cooking because you enjoy it. You’re the one with the medicine and the disinfectant all prepared which makes Sakusa nod in approval. 

after a bit of admiring you and you guys’ same idea in cleanliness, Sakusa started seeing you a bit differently... He wonders how you’ll look all covered with cum, sweat, and saliva... opp- he’s hard tf? 

[mother.ynismykink]: i know for sure that i am repulsed with filth or any other dirty thing. but, thinking about (y/n) all dirty and stained with cum and sweat and spit just might be my newly found obsession. she is the only person i will tolerate being dirty so any asshole on my tl can fuck off.

[shhhlikeme]

hello!! i really loved your hq writing and i think they were pretty spot on! do u mind writing abt a reader who’s basically a first year version of kiyoko (like everyone is attracted to her) and all the first years are just into her but come to find out she’s been dating yamaguchi all this time ? jealous yams maybe? sorry if it’s too specific🥺👉🏼👈🏼

Yamaguchi Tadashi x Really Sexy Yoga Instructor S/O

———————————

A/N: Thank you so much anon! You’re speaking my language with this request😍

It sounds a lot like the first ever request I got here, so this can be seen as a part two, or read as a stand alone. I hope you like it!!!

Not NSFW, but please only read if you’re over 18 y/o.

———————————

Yams, your beloved boyfriend of a few months will be the first to admit that he made a mistake volunteering you to help his volleyball team

About a month ago, Coach Ukai felt as though the team was way too pent up and ordered his players to indulge in some calming activities on one of the no-practice days with the goal of making the team less irritable

The coach found that Yoga would be a great solution

Coach Ukai had read that the benefits of Yoga include but are not limited to: increased flexibility, increased muscle strength and tone, improved respiration, more energy and vitality, maintenance of a balanced metabolism, improved athletic performance, protection from injury, overall relaxation and stress relief.

Ukai thought that yoga was a no-brainer because if Karasuno was going to win the National tournament, then they had to adopt unconventional means in order to get an edge on the competition

Unfortunately, Takeda, the volleyball club’s advisor, couldn’t exactly find the budget to get the entire team signed up for weekly yoga sessions at the big studio downtown

Aw man :(

But fear not! smh

Your boyfriend to the team’s rescue! Great 😑

Thank goodness for your sweet baby 👍🏾 not

He’s just too caring for his own good isn’t he? You wish he’d stop

Because he..... well, lucky for Karasuno, your boyfriend Yamaguchi happily suggested that the team goes to the Karasuno High School’s Yoga Club sessions at the local community centre. The community centre hosts great swim, cooking, and even archery lessons! It would be perfect because it would be within budget and the 7am yoga sessions were always empty, because not many people knew about them.

“How do you know they’re legit? I don’t want my players getting hurt because some kids think it’s fun to twist n’ contort their bodies —“ Inquired coach Ukai. The entire team turned to Tadashi, awaiting his response.

Your annoying sweet man explained that all of the Yoga club members are certified by Japanese Health Standards and they are well-versed in their instructing, it was kind of the point of the club. He was sure the club would love the volleyball team’s company

Your boyfriends’ coach’s face lit up. When Ukai’s next question pertained to how tf Tadashi knew all of this, that’s finally when his face fell

Oops.

He’s so cute He wanted to help so badly he forgot that this could be a bad idea

How did he know all this? Well, maybe because his girlfriend of 3 months, you, run the damn club. And he knows everything about you because he’s whipped.

However, Tadashi couldn’t exactly tell them that was the reason because he is very private and didn’t want to introduce his beautiful girlfriend to guys that were sure to drool over her

Plus he wanted to make sure you weren’t in a daze when he confessed to you, testing whether one day you’ll wake up & realize you made a big mistake

Yamaguchi, quick on his feet, just said that you were his friend and you ran the club.

They believed it obviously, and that’s how it all started

Since there were multiple morning Yoga sessions, Coach Ukai divided the team into years for mandatory session attendance. The first years were scheduled for Monday’s at 7am, the second years on Wednesday’s (same time) and the 3rd years were on Fridays (same time).

You were late to your first session with the boys because even though Yams told you the team would start coming (and to keep your relationship a secret) you were used to being the only one here doing Yoga

You were only slightly startled when you opened the door to your beloved studio and saw Karasuno volleyball’s first years: Tsukishima, Kageyama, Hinata and your beautiful man Yams sitting down on Yoga mats patiently.

You cheerily introduced yourself and greet everyone, finding yourself happy to have the company

Yamaguchi was the only one to verbally greet you back, because the other boys were staring at you with what you would deem odd expressions

Yams noticed his solo greeting too and looked over to his teammates. He frowned because he knew the look on their faces and the lack of a voice very well.

How could he not? It was the same reaction he had when he saw you for the first time he was sure you came out of his wet dreams

You are so hot, and now his fellow first years were noticing

Yams pouted inside

Anyway, the same way you didn’t notice when Yamaguchi had that stare when you two met, you just got straight to business, setting down your pink yoga mat and water bottle and explaining all the rules.

It’s a good thing yoga sessions are supposed to be silent with only the sounds of the rain forest playing loud through the rooms speakers because I don’t think the boys could have spoken anyway

You did basic yoga stretches and had the boys follow your every movement

As you showed them the simple beginner poses, Tadashi caught Hinata and Kageyama sneaking glances at your figure with heavy blushes on their faces

If Tsukki thought you were attractive, which omfg did he ever, he didn’t show it in the slightest

Yamaguchi was happy to call him his best friend

The quick-attack boys could not say the same

Like the schoolboys they are, they relished in seeing a gorgeous female’s flexible body easily contort in front of them

Tadashi noted that, for two of the most intensely competitive people he knew, the two were peculiarly a little TOO happy with not doing any of the yoga poses correctly, he could guess why

You, still clueless, walked around the room to help the boys get into correct positioning platonically, the way every Yoga instructor does.

Tadashi on the other hand, was doing so well and you badly wished you could kiss him whenever you moved his body but you were respecting his wishes to keep you two a secret

Kags and Shōyō almost had internal panic attacks when you touched them or got close

They weren’t the greatest with girls but they were especially bad when one of the prettiest and fittest girls they’ve ever encountered was touching them and whispering in their ears to ‘turn like this’ ‘open up a bit more’ because of how quiet yoga should be

The combustion train has left the building! Choo choo 💨

You laughed when volleyball duo boys started shoving each other when Hinata fell out of a pose and landed on Kags

Tadashi’s eyes narrowed because he selfishly didn’t want you laughing at anything those boys did. Nevertheless, he shook it off

Maybe it will get better once the initial shock of your hotness wears off, Yams thought to himself when he left Yoga that morning.

Sure, because that’s how it worked with Kiyoko right?

Yeah, right. The following Monday you were still hot and the boys were still drooling over you.

At real volleyball practices and at lunch time Yamaguchi has to constantly hear the team (minus Tsukishima) gush about how attractive you are and how it wasn’t so bad waking up early in the morning if you were the view they were getting up to see

Now, Tadashi would definitely describe himself as a pretty calm guy......as would anyone who knows him......

But hearing his friends gush about you like you weren’t the smartest, most creative, genuine, conscientious person...... just an ideal body and gorgeous face not that they would know evoked jealous emotions deep within him

On dates with you he would inquire about the other volleyball yoga sessions you taught and you would tell him truthfully that your class of 3rd years were always fine, well behaved and very quiet because they were too busy fantasizing about you in their heads to talk dkm

and then you told your boyfriend that 2 of the second years were pretty flirty take a wild guess who? But that the one boy named Ennoshita got them to simmer down and then stop with the comments completely

Tadashi made a mental note to do a favour for his future captain

He was beginning to get irritated with the way these strong amazing athletes that he looked up to were reduced to goo when his girlfriend came around

He knew it was irrational to be so upset because he was sure they would chill out if they knew she was his girlfriend but

He just wasn’t ready for that yet.

So he endured the comments because even though the team was full of hormonone-crazy males, they never were vulgar or disrespectful in their remarks that was saved for all of their dreams and shower time

Either way,

None of that could stop the locker room talk.

“Did Y/N teach you guys the puppy dog stretch too this week?” Chirped Nishinoya as he bounced on the balls of his feet. The boys nodded. “Man is she s-m-o-k-i-n-g or what?? Don’t you think so, Asahi?”

Yams looked over from his locker to see the quiet and timid Ace of the team unable to help sporting a blush and nodding in agreement to Nishinoya.

Tadashi did NOT like this conversation. He took to chugging his water in order to distract himself from saying something he was sure to regret

“I-I really like Y/N’s yoga pants. They’re really cool!”

Kageyama rolled his eyes at Hinata's comment. “Of course you do, Boke.”

“Keep dreaming short stack!” Hollered Tanaka as he hopped in a super man pose on top of a bench. “For I will one day marry Y/N!”

Uncontrollably, Yamaguchi’s entire liquid contents in his mouth drenched Sugawara’s back in a spit take. Everyone laughed.

Let’s just say Karasuno’s vice captain made Yams do laps until his legs felt like they would fall off

By the third week, poor Yamaguchi had it up to HERE with the team’s pining after his girl.... be it Daichi’s subtle suggestion to the coach to extend AND increase the amount of yoga sessions, to Nishinoya’s memorization of the exact colour of your lip gloss per session

Yams actually growled under his breath when he heard both I swear to God

Yamaguchi felt like he was going to burst if he didn’t wring any necks first .

The entire team was smitten with his secret girlfriend and it made him insanely jealous. He couldn’t deny it anymore.

You were his. And only his. He wished he never volunteered you to help the team in the first place!

On your dates as a couple, you noticed that Yams was much more tense than he used to be before you started instructing the team. You told him over and over that you would quit this very second because he was so much more important than some silly club. You even suggested easily swapping with your second-in-command as instructor but

He wouldn’t have any of that. Apparently the team was already improving significantly in skill from Yoga like the Coach predicted. You are the best instructor your club had, and his team needed the best.

Plus he knows you love doing it and he puts your happiness before his own

The situation just sucked!

On the final yoga session before nationals, you arranged for the entire team to conjoin in one single morning session that would be longer at two hours instead of one, to go through everything they have learned in a mass session. It was also to make sure the numbers were even because today would be strictly focused on Partner Yoga!

The crows filed in to your studio, excited to see you and set up as usual

You walked in and told them about the partner yoga, and before they could volunteer to be your partner and upset your boyfriend, you told everyone you already had a partner and gestured toward the studio entryway:

Kiyoko walked in with a wave at her introduction and she spread her yoga mat next to you facing the class

They said 😳😳😳😳🤯🤯🤯🤯

The entire room was silent. Everyone minus Tsukki and your boyfriend combusted. Like they were done

Remember that combustion train? Yeah it just arrived at its destination: Nosebleed Central.

The boys’ little minds couldn’t fathom two extremely hot girls in compromising, stretchy positions that would look anything but innocent in their male minds

It was kind of a dream come true

You didn’t care that they were acting weird and you started the session, telling the boys to pair up and follow yours and Kiyoko’s lead

Even Yams started to feel hot and bothered at the sight of the multiple positions

he always felt horny watching you instruct yoga but he was able to satiate his lust by reminding himself that you told him you want to sleep with him when he was ready, even though you were taking it slow. he’s always blushing so none of the guys ever thought anything if it

Satiating himself with that thought again, though, flew out the window as an option because you just looked too incredibly hot in partner positions. It got to the point where he wanted to kick Kiyoko out so you could practice these yoga positions with him

He wanted to be the one to put your leg on his shoulder as he pounded into your heat, not Kiyoko no matter how hottttttttt it was to look at

Suga used his fingers to flick Tadashi on the forehead to get his attention away from his secret girlfriend and back to the yoga positions he should be trying with him

“Dude.... trust me, I know, and I agree...” Suga nods in understanding as he glances over at the beautiful girls once more. It takes a good amount of effort for him to peel his eyes back to Yamaguchi. “But we have to do this. Try to pretend they’re not as hot as they are.” He gives your bf a thumbs up for encouragement

Yams didn’t smile back even though he commenced yoga again like his vice captain requested. Yams just wanted all of this to be over so he could somehow sneak you into one of the abandoned rooms in this community centre and take you right there.

Since Kiyoko was only there to demonstrate the positions and not join the class because she had other commitments, she had to leave pretty early

You went around helping everyone like you usually did, and now you definitely noticed how red all the boys’ cheeks were. Yams couldn’t even look at you the entire time he did yoga with Suga and you started to wonder if you did something wrong. Hm.....

Yams couldn’t look at you because he was using every ounce of his restraint to keep from jumping your bones

Before long, Y/N’s final yoga session was nearing completion until you realized that you had forgotten to demonstrate the final pose when Kiyoko was here.

Glancing at your boyfriend who was giving you the cold shoulder, you timidly asked if anyone minded being your partner to demonstrate—

Like zoo animals, all of the boys volunteered!!! You yelped because of how loud they got in the quiet room in a split second.

Does it matter who you choose?

Yamaguchi felt himself boil over in jealousy. These boys were throwing themselves at the woman who means everything to him, and that was enough to drive any man to the brink of insanity.

While the boys bickered about who would be your partner Hinata and Nishi already started the Rock Paper Scissors tournament, including the usually collected captains, Tadashi briskly made his way towards you with purpose. Without even thinking about it he cupped your face with one of his hands and tilted your lips towards his for a deep kiss.

You felt your knees weaken at the intensity of the unexpected kiss from the love of your life.

Yams wrapped an arm around your waist to hold you steady when he felt your knees weaken.

You two barely heard the collective gasp in the room...

...Nor did you hear Tsukki mutter a flat “I knew it.”

When you finally pulled away from your boyfriends perfect lips, you were still drunk off the kiss while he remembered where you two were

With an aura of manly confidence that could only come from the overwhelming satisfaction of giving into the animalistic urge to claim your mate in front of other males, Yamaguchi turned to his team. Shoulders back and confident, he smiled smugly

“Did I forget to tell you all that Y/N is my girlfriend? I’d appreciate if all the endless comments about how beautiful she is would cease to exist, at least around me. She’s very much taken. Oh, and I, ONLY I....will be her partner. Thanks.”

Ok can you imagine how fucking sexy shy Yams would look being strict, intimidating and completely territorial over you? 🤤

Karasuno’s team was stunned into silence before Nishinoya started a slow clap applause like they do in the movies.

Only Tanaka joined in with him. The rest of the team is not that lame

You, on the other hand, got so turned on by your boyfriend display of protection and jealousy that you muttered that class was over and you used your hand to turn Yams attention back to you. You got on the tips of your toes to pull him into another passionate kiss again.

You loved it.

Seeing this side of him stirred up a lot of emotions in you and you couldn’t help but ask your boyfriend if he wanted to skip school today. Your parents weren’t going to be home for 2 days and you had the house to yourself.

With half lidded eyes that only served to turn you on more Yamaguchi agreed.

I hope he knows that he was in for a really long and pleasurable day and night.....you were about to put those years of yoga training to good use, and your boyfriend couldn’t be luckier.

[cherryonigiri]

S/O that thirsts over anime/game guys

reposted bc wasn’t showing up in the tags + I want to keep nsfw under the cut

@nononononojustno asked: Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

A/N: hahahahaha i laughed while writing this. FYI these are all based on legit crushes i had on anime/game characters at some point in my life - see if you’ve watched the shows i’ve watched :) ILY I PROMISE I’M DOING MY BEST TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND GET ADEQUATE SLEEP MWAH. also i went overboard and added an extra boy bc why not. These are a little shorter since there were 4 characters but I hope you enjoy!

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (both are under the cut)

PS: If anyone wants a spicy sequel/one shot for matsukawa i’m open to the idea 👀👀 let me know in my inbox!

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Ushijima definitely knows you’re into anime + games

Having visited your dorm room on multiple occasions he’s seen your extensive collection of manga, anime posters and you always seem to be playing on your switch whenever you have free time

Of course, he notices a significant portion of your collection is centered on male characters

And you’ve definitely mentioned a few games to him - Ikemen Sengoku, Code:Realize, Hakuouki (wow i’m really out here exposing myself) etc.

He doesn’t really mind though? Like - at the end of the day these are 2D men, whereas he is a very real boyfriend

At least he thinks he doesn’t mind

Recently, he notices that you seem to be on your phone a lot, and you seem to be texting the same group chat very often

He asks why and you laugh - it’s not actual text messages you’re just trying out a new otome/simulation game called Mystic Messenger. He finds the name silly but he just brushes it off he’s definitely J E A L O U S

Until one day he walks into your room while you’re calling one of your friends to freak out about that specific game

You sound kind of teary from outside the door “Oh MY GOD OH MY GOD I GOT THE GOOD ENDING WITH JUMIN!” and “[friend name] I THINK I CAN DIE HAPPY I’M MARRIED TO JUMIN HAN WHAT MORE DO I NEED IN LIFE” and “HE’S SO FREAKING ATTRACTIVE UGH I AM BLESSED”

He’s like who TF is Jumin and immediately bursts into your room looking pissed off

Poor babie is all like “you’re married?” and “if you had someone else you were interested in you should have told me.” “Who is this Jumin Han???” 🧐

Oh my god you start cackling, but you manage to tell him that NO you are not married and that Jumin Han is a fictional character from the game you’re playing

Ushijima looks confused after you explain - why would you find fictional men attractive when you’re already dating him?

Tendou almost dies laughing the next day when Ushijima tells him about what happened

Oikawa Tooru

Since practice finishes pretty late he usually goes to see you at your house at night, but tonight things wrapped up earlier - he’s excited to spend more time with you

You’ve finished up most of your homework so you’ve just been rewatching Attack on Titan since you’re super excited for the new season

You’re kinda distracted/have headphones on so you don’t hear your boyfriend knock on the front door. Your mom answers it and lets him in and he climbs the stairs

He can hear your fangirling (freaking out) over something as he walks towards your room

You jump in surprise when he opens the door, because you thought he would be a bit later but immediately release your pent up excitement

“Tooru just LOOK at him he’s such a bad ass like oh my gosh he literally has swords and he’s still running around slaying the MPs who have guns. God whenever he gets angry he looks so hot,” etc. etc.

You’re shoving your laptop in his face, showing him gifs and video of attack on titan, specifically the captain of the survey corps that you are obsessed with

Tooru gets it - for him its space, shitty alien films and astronomy. For you it’s video games and anime - or more specifically, handsome characters from said franchises

Even though he understand that it’s something you’re passionate about he still makes a whole show about whining how you’re in love with Levi Ackerman (lmao i still thirst over our favorite captain) instead of him

“y/n i’m taller than him! And more handsome! He has blood on him all the time! And he’s super annoying because he’s obsessed with cleaning.” *cue pouty Tooru*

You probably shouldn’t tell him that you are an avid follower of the levi x reader tag on tumblr

Tooru still somehow finds out you’re also reading reader insert fanfic and goes BERSERK with his pouting and whining - literally everyone and their mothers have heard his sob story about how “his darling y/n is leaving me for a short germaphobic asshole”

The rest of the team finds it hilarious - the end up pranking him by posting pictures of Levi in his school locker or texting them in the volleyball groupchat (Oikawa is Suffering™)

Makki and Mattsun get him a Levi keychain for his birthday and cackle when he chucks it violently into the nearest trash can

Miya Atsumu

Doesn’t really know you’re into anime/gaming at first

I don’t think that’s on purpose - Atsumu just has such a one track mind when it comes to volleyball and he’s always busy with practice

so he just kinda doesn’t really give all the anime merch in your room a second glance even though it’s a dead giveaway

I bet Atsumu secretly watches some superhero anime - probably shounen stuff like My Hero Academia, one punch man etc.

He probably starts to notice you’re into anime/games because you’ll play games on your phone/gaming device all the time

One day he notices you’re giggling + blushing while looking at your screen. He’s curious to he heads over to you when coach says they can have a break

Peeks over your shoulder because he wants to know what you’re playing - but instead he’s greeted by some 2D samurai guy called Harada Sanosuke asking you to marry him

“Huh, I didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff y/n” tries to sound playful but internally he is screaming / ?????? WOT I DIDN’T KNOW MY S/O WAS INTO OTOME GAMES

Atsumus pretty chill about it at first, he probably teases you a lot about playing the game but isn’t really bugged about it

“Maybe you should thirst over your boyfriend instead of a fictional character babe~”

I mean - he knows he’s attractive and why be jealous? You only really play the game when he’s busy and you don’t really let the game play seep into your dates/hangouts

But one time he walks in on you reading some ~spicy~ hakuouki x reader fanfic and he’s like are u serious

Like you were lowkey quiet screaming to yourself and muttering “omg omg omg” when he walked in and you definitely tried to close your laptop so he couldn’t see what was open in your browser

Too bad Atsumu has mad reflexes and manages to prevent you from making your computer go to sleep

Briefly skims whatever it was that you were reading and smirks at you

“Hey, if you really want something like this, why don’t you let your real boyfriend deliver” before kissing you

Matsukawa Issei

Look, Issei just wants a chill movie/tv show night where the two of you can bundle up on the couch and binge whatever anime you feel like

Has everything set up - this man is ready to go: snacks? he has all of your favorites, couch? filled with soft pillows + multiple pillows. Attire? Comfy sweatpants shirtless 🥵

Last time he chose the series for your binge sleepover so he let you choose what the two of you were gonna watch this time

Turns out you decided to watch Psycho-Pass - it seemed like a pretty cool show, he was down with the whole dystopia/psychological concept

Starts out pretty normal, is appreciating the action + mystery elements and is glad that you chose that show

About halfway through the anime you two decide to take a break - he goes to the kitchen to refill your snacks, leaving to stretch you back.

When he comes back with more food, he notices that you’re hunched over your phone, typing something

He sneaks up behind you after he puts the food down, “Whatcha reading there babe?” You squeak and try to hide your phone, but not before he sees the words kougami x reader typed into your tumblr search bar

Lit-rally exCuSE me what - he’s not mad (more amused than anything else) but he also kind wants to tease you (bc Mattsun is a little shit)

“Is that the reason you wanted to watch this show?” he asks playfully. “He’s pretty hot tho, I kinda agree with you there babe.”

Now that he’s released the floodgate, he can’t stop your occasional comments like “omg how does he look so GOOD when he’s punching someone” or “he could shoot me with his dominator and i’d still say thank you”

The thirst comments are kinda getting to him, so he decides to take things in a different direction

“Let me what I can show you with my dominator~” L M A O I’M SORRY THIS EXISTS

Suddenly you’re being pulled onto his lap, and pressed against his bare chest, Issei barely gives you time to adjust before he’s kissing you roughly, tongue plunging into your mouth

His hands wrap around your hips pressing your core closer to his own, and you can feel his hard-on pressing into your stomach

He’ll be sure to suck a dark hickey onto the side of your neck and his hands travel under your shirt, just to remind you who your real boyfriend is

Needless to say, you won’t remember a single thing about the second half of the show after the night is over couch sex? Couch sex 😏

[athys-obelia]

summary: no one's evil au lmfaooo but make it pt. 2

character/s: anastacius de alger obelia, claude de alger obelia, athanasia de alger obelia, jennette de alger obelia

and here's part 1 <3

oh my god okay. okay. so.

ana, claude, athy and jennette - they go on a LOT of vacations

claude complains every single time but anastacius pulls his trump card and sends athy and jettie BOTH after him

u think he's strong enough to say no after that? lmao jokes

and their vacations always go this way:

jennette: isn't this scenery just gorgeous, uncle

claude: indeed it is. and...quiet

jennette: ...too quiet

[cut to anastacius in the distance, fighting a bear as athy cheers him on]

athy + anastacius, hands down the most chaotic pairing yes i will not be taking criticism

they have tea in ana's palace everyday, just the two of them, they're so poised and picture perfect through the entire thing everyone thinks it's just the emperor giving profound advice to his heir

it's actually them deadass scheming,,, ana has no qualms discussing everything from court gossip to military tactics, both of which she's so on top of all the time

if anyone shit talks jennette or claude, this tea party is where their slow and agonizing demise is planned out to the dot

[true story - count sivan once made the fatal mistake of expressing his favour for athy as the next empress, dissing jennette by comparing her to athy sm which inevitably sparked a debate that ranked the princesses. a week after athy's sources informed her of the kindling behind this new debate, the count's sudden divorce became the talk of the town, and the man's business faced bankruptcy all of a sudden. the sivans still haven't recovered.)

athy n jennette were actually allowed to visit kiel in arlanta a few times, except it was too dark at their first arrival, postponing the meeting to the next morning

buttt then jettie can't sleep and she decides on a midnight snack run (their hotel doesn't really have the maids the palace does, but oh well. she's left the palace w lucas n athy plenty of times)

felix tags along btw, he knows this trip is important to the girls since they're leaving the palace without their Overprotective Papas™ for the first time and want some sense of independence, but... she's just so smol n he couldn't bear it if anything happens so he just shadows her

she totally knows he's there

n e ways so there's a juice place right beside their hotel which she aims for, but when jennette reaches it, it's closed

and out of nowhere, a voice addresses her - "hey you, do you come here a lot?" she nearly jumps out of her skin at the brunette, relaxing when she sees he's literally a kid around her age and not a murderer lmfaoo "me neither," he continues without waiting for her, pouting at the closed sign, before he asks for her name and whether she's new in arlanta

she confirms that yes, she's only visiting, and refuses to tell the stranger her name, still feeling strange at being addressed as 'you' for the first time (well, minus lucas, but he was like her brother and had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon, so)

he eyes her. "you're so weird. i've never seen a girl out so late before, and alone too. are you stupid?"

(felix has his sword out at this point)

she's flushing now and has no idea why she's still out here, but then this stranger kid apparently senses her mood and tells her the best ice cream store in arlanta is not too far away

(he also explains he knows someone who's starts doing weird things when she's hungry as well, and tries to defend that ice cream is actually a healthy midnight snack, "you can just take a healthy flavour like strawberry or mango, mangos are healthy,,right"💀️💀)

so jettie has travelled all the way from obelia, she loves her papa but he would have a heart attack if he found out she was ever awake this late?? yeah bc she's never getting this chance again, jennette accepts the offer

the stranger boy seems to be taking the whole "i'm not telling you my name," thing like a joke, and asks what he should call her since 'you' was getting boring

she goes with "lady j" and like a knight, the boy becomes "sir c"

(felix is on the verge of committing a crime - the princesses can only have one knight, after all)

they walk as the the boy navigates the streets in the dark, and she asks whether he's from the academy, seeing his uniform

"of course i am! you could probably tell bc i look so smart, right?"

she snorts. "yeah, that."

she also comes to know that this guy,,,well he might as well be a tourist? she's out here asking stuff like "oh where's the statue of lady alphia?" or "aren't we really close to the museum where they keep the first emperor's sword?" and he goes "lady do i look like your brochure?? but if you turn right from here there's a cool arcade and across the street from there is the best street food vendor you'll ever eat from."

well at least mans had his priorities straight 😌

"so can you take this off?" he asks, pointing towards her dress once they've neared the store

um???????? sir tf????????????

anyways jettie has been living with lucas n her dad farr too long to not take this the wrong way?? "...no?"

the boy raises an eyebrow "look, it looks like an expensive cloak but i promise i'll return it, alright? i gotta hide my uniform."

ohhhhhhh. 😳.

so she unfastens the cloak and because he's kinda just staring at it cluelessly (he can't even tie his shoelaces fight me), jennette sighs and moves the clothing over his shoulder, fastening it in place at his neck

he's literally a tomato when she looks back up and realises that yes, we are way too close rn

bc she's ana's daughter, jennette by default cannot function when she's flustered. so she kinda stumbles backwards like a fish out of water (years of princess training n etiquette? where art thou??) and 'sir c' has to grab her forearm so she doesn't bump into the pillar behind her smfh

the shopkeep is definitely suspicious of this pair that's definitely too young to be out so late, but chalks it down to his sleeplessness

they escape the store with the ice cream before the shopkeep can ask any questions, and 'sir c' escorts jennette back to her hotel. he climbs onto the roof of the building, helping her up as well

(felix wishes he had a magic stone to capture this moment, this is the first time he's seen jennette become such fast friends with someone)

she stands on the roof (it hurts her butt so she doesn't wanna sit)

"my sister would be so jealous right now," jennette murmurs, "she told me her ideal first date would be either a picnic or something like a moonlit walk. we're having like a moonlit picnic."

it's silent for a few seconds the boy speaks up, "is this a date?"

oh-

oh.

"i mean- i didn't- i don't- uh."

give her some time lmfao she's loading

"i don't really mind that," he tells her, and she thinks she might just walk off the roof in her embarrassment - who just says something like that?? "you're probably feeling really lucky right now, right?"

jennette: ✊😔

he does look pretty in the moonlight, she admits to herself, listening as he excitedly tells her about his siblings at home and how she should send an offering to the gods since they gave her the good fortune to be on a date with the most good looking one of all four of them

in turn, she tells him about how she spent her childhood away from her amazing dad and had gotten closer to him recently, about her sharp-witted uncle, her sister and friends

(the 'friends' section includes felix and he's melting)

she smiles - it's almost as if, at finding out he treasures his family just as much as she does, they've gotten a bit closer

and he tries to listen. jennette had guessed that his temperament was somewhat like her dad's - her dad didn't know how to listen, always making his opinion known before anything else, though she supposes as emperor he could do that

'sir c', on the other hand, tried his best, his blue eyes focused on her as he almost burst from the unsaid words he was holding back, trying to let her finish. the sight was an odd mix of sad and insanely adorable that she couldn't help but let him tell her about everything he couldn't hold in

sensing she could pass out from her exhaustion nearly half an hour later, and 'sir c' escorts her to her window and helps her sneak in bc "what sort of knight would i be otherwise?!"

(felix can't stop shaking the entire night)

the next morning, jennette's heart is pounding as kiel shows her, athy and felix across campus - the chance is low, but still...

"ezekiel!" comes a voice, and the four watch as a turquoise haired boy waves down the alpheus heir "are these the guests you mentioned?"

kiel introduces the trio to johannes vastia before asking, "where's cabel?"

"at the training grounds, he asked if you could bring everyone there so he could show them around there."

"... they're my guests though?"

athy is quick to befriend johannes (i mean she and his sister are practically the same person, so) and at the grounds, jennette's blood runs cold

(so does felix's)

the brunette doesn't notice her at first, arguing with johannes about something as kiel introduces him as cabel ernst

jennette is hyperventilating?? actually back up is this girl even breathing??

cabel ernst from kiel's letters? the 'loud and obnoxious cabel ernst', who gradually turned into 'my acquaintance cabel ernst', then 'hardworking, passionate cabel ernst', and finally 'my friend cabel'?

she'd actually rather admired this slow build of respect between her friend and the ernst boy, and had even expressed her interest to meet him

"this is the first daughter of his highness prince claude de alger obelia, princess athanasia-" cabel mock salutes the princess before his mouth forms an 'o' and he remembers to bow, "-and here's the emperor's only daughter, her highness princess je-"

andddd his eyes widen comically "-hey, lady, it's you?"

yeah jettie is on the brink of literal death - her entire face reddens as this...cabel, grins at her

she watches as he glances behind her, "and you're the guy who was following us - sup?"

felix flinches "...you knew...?"

cabel shrugs. "i mean you do kinda suck ass at the whole subtle thing."

"don't say it like that," jennette retorts, "felix was trying his best."

"princess 😭😭 you knew as well?"

"uhhhh no?"

athy + kiel in a corner: 👁️👄👁️

they watch as cabel's eyes widen all of a sudden and he just,,,runs away

...🐦...🐦...🐦...

yeah well anyway he comes rushing back a few minutes later, a piece of cloth in his hand "...*huff* here *huff*...you go."

athy totally flips out "jennette is that your CLOAK???!??"

"uhhhhh no?"

"um do you realise uncle would literally wage war at this."

and as if it would make everything better,

"i washed it," cabel offers with a grin

"you didn't," the vastia heir deadpans

"i mean, johan helped a little bit."

kiel smiles murderously at the pair. "johan, did you know cabel took the princess out?"

"wait, you're a PRINCESS??"

your honour they aren't very smart

so the group orders some coffee (milk for cabel smfh) to find out what happened, cabel mentions "date" and everything goes to shit again lmfao

kiel and felix scheme against poor cabel while athy n johan get over that stage pretty quick ("listen. MY sister will be living with ME after the marriage and if your friend wants to be with her he'll have to come with us to obelia." and johan's just like "fine by me ✌️😊") and start planning the wedding

cabel + jennette dip n sneak out of the academy again to get the juice they couldn't the night before bc shit is getting awkward here

on another note, our uncle cius' musical intelligence is actually very high - he can probably play more instruments than i can name tbh, but he feels most comfortable singing and i shit you not, this man has straight up an angel's voice

(didn't like singing in front of others coz he was secretly a nerd and only knew old love songs with deep lyrics, athy found out and educated him)

jennette tends to have nightmares often, most often regarding their family - she's seen her father murder her uncle for the throne, and vice versa, athy admitting her affections towards jennette were a front to get the position of crown princess, her uncle killing her to solidify athy's claim, etc - her family is her everything, so despite however many times these horrible scenes play before her, she's left sobbing uncontrollably

and on these nights, she leaves for her father's room, who holds her close and sings her to sleep

also lucas n jennette are like sibling duo# 1,,, jettie is an active lucathy shipper even though he denies it sm - like their dynamic is just peaceful walks in the gardens as she watches the plants n lucas shi talks the nobility and kiel

claude and athy have a thing for each other's sleeping on each other? idk it's weird

athy once fell asleep on the couch while reading with him, and claude moved her head onto his lap so she wouldn't be uncomfy sitting - well, she woke up to his hand absentmindedly raking through her hair and it was just so soothing that whenever she's tired and he's working or reading, she just plops her head on his lap and zzzz

and claude wondered what was up with that, so she proposed they switch roles and he felt so awkward trying to lay down in front of her lmao

obviously athy noticed and she just started reading, thinking he might be more comfortable if her attention isn't on him completely - she ended up reading out loud while playing with his collar and he just,,,passed out

also anastacius has definitely pulled jennette aside regarding the issue of his heir at some point - she had been hesitant at first before admitting she wouldn't like to be the empress at all

i know we'd all love to see empress!jettie and her sister duchess!athy ruling the court, but i really really really can't see her wanting the title?

so thus start athy's empress lessons, but holy shit her teacher is mean

like this man makes me want to bash his face in?? so he doesn't like the idea of athy becoming empress over jennette at all, all bc of both hers and claude's mothers being commoners

he has one of those long ass sticks that you use in presentation to point at stuff?? idk but basically mans has athy name every region, its lords and their vassals during their first lesson

the first time she gets one wrong, she's too shocked as the stick meets the delicate skin of her forearm to react

now the thing is, wmmap!athy would probably stand up against this bc her dad is the emperor and she's his only heir, but i imagine with anastacius' social nature he holds many parties / balls where she's probably heard claude's mom + diana slander and it wouldn't be unreasonable for her to be self conscious abt it (now she's the emperor's heir while jennette, 100% royal + noble blood, is right there which probably makes her feel even less legitimate)

so she endures it, the light marks on her arms as well as the taunts of his she's too smart to not understand - perhaps this is the price to be accepted in jennette's place?

and honestly, no one really notices until at breakfast a few weeks in, where jennette mentions how her dresses are still so modest when sleeveless dresses were more in fashion - ana is suspicious because athy is always on top of these things, societal trends and such, and claude is sus from the way she hesitates slightly in her answer, "i haven't had the time lately, i suppose"

the lesson after focuses on ettiquete since everyone knows she's good at politics and such already, but now tears of frustration are pooling in her eyes because what the hell?? this guy had made an opinion of her long before he even met her, so anything she did would be wrong in his eyes

he gives her a sinister smile, "tired, princess?"

"no," she insists, keeping her voice level. he's about to spout some other nonsense, when anastacius enters the room, taking a seat across from her

anastacius watches quietly as athy answers the teacher's questions in her "public" voice. he watches as her usually cheery disposition is replaced by something far more...dead, despite the front she puts on for him. he's soundless as she hesitates in her answers where she normally would've been louder, more confident. he stops watching in silence when his niece flinches at the sight of the stick

oh.

he interrupts her lesson, not missing the way she winces almost imperceptibly when he grabs ahold of her arm, announcing, "we're going."

he just- it's just that that was the moment he knew for sure - the sight of his niece emotionally disheveled for the first time reminds him too much of how his own brother had once been, and he'd... he'd promised he wouldn't let anyone hurt his family anymore

he ends up taking her to the port with some of his advisors to welcome some royal guests, insisting that she would learn better from experience rather than books - but the guest delegation gets so boring that he sneaks her out of the meeting n they end up in the streets

now athy has no idea where they are, but apparently her uncle does?? ana has his hand on her head as he navigates the streets of the capitol as if he comes here everyday, using magic to casually disguise the two of them

in the meantime?

felix is at the port trying to cover for them smfh, he makes up this huge story about how the great wise emperor wanted to familiarize his heir with the locals, understand her subjects, yada yada

back at the palace prince claude is currently dragging a man by his collar and only upon jennette's insistence does he throw him in prison rather than literally kill him

(jettie visits him later in prison to give the guy a piece of her mind, after felix's visit he's sporting a few noticable bruises and the prisoner is practically unrecognizable once lucas visits)

back to athy + ana, they end up stuffing themselves with some super good street food as anastacius confesses that yes, he has definitely been sneaking out of the palace ever since he was a lil kid

athy almost mentions that she, lucas n jettie sneak out too but that might give him a heart attack, so

"it's so pretty, uncle cius," she says, gesturing towards the necklace he holds up. once he's paid for it, anastacius fists the necklace, opening it to reveal the jewel pendant - now imbued with his magic and replaced with gold lettering of the word athanasia

and she realises that yes, that's what both him and her dad have called her all her life, haven't they?

"you're my heir, athanasia," he uncle tells her with a small smile, "i am proud of that."

getting teary, she tells him, "i'm really proud of you too, uncle cius," triggering a very flustered + blushy anastacius

this mans craves validation - not from the sycophantic nobility, or the obsequious concubines he'd dismissed all those years ago, but from the family he thought he'd neither have nor deserve

and just the acknowledgement is so large for athy - he wants her as his heir, not because she's his niece, but bc he trusts her to look after his hard work after him??? - yeah she's totally bawling her eyes out

anastacius magics her a handkerchief but my mans magic isn't that strong?? lmao he's used up so much by now that the 'handkerchief' turns out to be some scratchy tissues

awkward amirite

nope! athy laughs at that, offering him a sip of her drink as she magics another straw and a proper handkerchief lmfaoo

n e ways so when they return, everyone's shocked to learn that the crown heir, princess athanasia will actually be joining the official circles as anastacius' temporary aid - he doesn't wanna entrust her to anyone but family, and decides that the best way to learn is by his side

(she's so confused bc lucas doesn't normally bat an eyelash when she wears the prettiest gowns, but he deadass can't look her in the eyes when she's in her aid uniform - it's more like a suit than it is a dress)

yes lucas women in suits >>>>>

everyone is STUNNED when at dinner, claude proposes they leave on vacation??

anastacius is just not having it?? like no, this is not my brother, and he throws a grape at claude to check if it's a clone or sum (¿¿how does that work??)

anyays so he ain't no felix, ana's aim is ass and it hits jettie instead

mans nearly gets on his knees to apologise

long story short everyone preps for vacation, but by some aCCiDeNt claude n athy end up at a different destination than jettie n ana, when she suggests returning to the palace to regroup, mans deadass sulks

"so you wouldn't like to spend this time with your father, despite barely visiting my office for weeks?"

o-oh

so at their return, the nobility starts pestering everyone that the princesses aren't independent enough, yada yada idc so to quell this annoyance, to the girls' joy, they get to move into emerald palace together, while claude and ana stay in the ruby and main palaces respectively

literally emerald palace becomes such a cool place to be in since it's the residence of the only decent people in this family, the brothers spend hours going through the requests of maids who want to be transferred

it's such a busy time because of athy joining the court and jettie starting her studies as well - naturally, since she isn't becoming empress, she'll be getting the duchy claude + athy were to be given in the beginning

speaking of futures, jettie's interest in plants and cooking has definitely branched out into herbs

claude notices her tending to a small garden during his visit to athy and even gives her a few tips (he had been studying medical since he was a kid, and picked it up again when athy was born and the empire stablised somewhat)

this soon becomes a routinely thing, and he actually starts reading up on some herbs and even orders a few for her prospering garden

after a month of her learning from books, claude proposes adding a medic as one of her teachers, and turns out his hunch was right?? she's excelling at medicine and they keep it between themselves for the time being

it doesn't last long though, bc they're on a hunting trip when ana injures his leg

and !! this girl istg, she gets to cleaning and wrapping the wound without blinking an eye, as if it's the most natural thing ever, and claude is just smirking while athy and anastacius and literally everyone else: 🌟💞✨jettie✨💞🌟

literal tears coming out of anastacius' eyes "how come my daughter is smarter than me😭💅"

claude: that's not a very high standard, brother

anastacius: ✨suddenly i'm an only child✨

behold, the people in charge of running an empire everyone 👏👏👏

even though jennette is claude's (unofficial) student and athy is her uncle's heir, they both ask their dads to the debutante

yes athy does dance with lucas, anastacius sent him an invitation even though he wasn't a noble (he's an active match maker 😌) and nobody dared question the emperor's special guest

at the end of the night, kiel gives jettie a letter from arlanta - it's an invitation to the academy during holidays, from a certain brunette

when she brings up the subject, felix lets out a squeak and literally everyone goes silent 😭😭

athy n kiel are just out here DARING him to spill them beans

but anastacius takes on look at his excited lil kid and decides that yups, she's going to get everything she wants

a/n: i literally don't know how many parts this should have lmaoo but y'all made it this far!! thanks for reading i hope you liked it<3

[joneswuzhere]

hello join me in thinking about some books and authors that are, or might be, part of s5′s intertextuality

5.10 in particular offered specific shout outs, and also u know i’m always wondering what might be ahead so i have some ideas on that:

- first, as mentioned in a previous ask post, i know i wasn’t alone in keeping an eye out for 5.10 parallels to the lost weekend (1945) the film that gave episode 1.10 its name and several themes - or to the 1944 book by charles r jackson which the film is based on

- s5 has not been shy about revisiting earlier seasons, especially s1. altho i feel that 1.10′s parallels to the lost weekend centered characters other than jughead (mostly betty), a 1.10-5.10 connection involving jughead and themes from jackson’s story (addiction, writers block, self reflection) seemed v possible if not inevitable

- but like,, , for a hot minute after the ep, i was really stumped on understanding how anything from the book or film could apply, even tho the pieces were almost all there

- jackson’s protagonist don birnam goes thru and comes out the other side of a harrowing days-long drinking binge that could be compared to jughead’s one-night hallucinogenic writing retreat

- but jughead is struggling primarily with traumatic memories, not addiction and self control like birnam. and tho drinking activates birnam’s creativity, it paralyzes his writing as he gets lost in fantasies; he’s never published anything. jughead’s drug trip recreates circumstances that already helped him write one successful book. even the rat that startles him mid-high doesn’t line up with birnam’s withdrawal vision of a dying mouse, symbolic of his horror at his own self-destruction thru alcohol

- and maybe the most visible discordance: in the film there’s a romantic motif around a typewriter. first it’s an object of shame; birnam’s failure to write, tied up with his drinking, makes him flee his relationship. he tries to pawn the typewriter for booze money and finally a gun when shooting himself feels easier than getting sober. but with the help of relentless encouragement from girlfriend helen, he quits drinking, commits to her, and focuses on typing out the story he’s dreamt of writing. rd goes so far to avoid setting any comparable scenario that jughead has brought a wholeass printer into the bunker so there can still be a physical manuscript to cover in blood by the end, even without his own typewriter. the subtle detail of his laptop bg image is a little less noticeable than his avoidance of betty’s gift

- tabitha might be closer to a parallel than jughead is, but she’s still no helen. both refuse to take advantage of the inebriated men in their care, but birnam takes advantage of helen, financially and emotionally. jughead refused a loan from the tate family and now has resolved to deal with his shit before he considers a relationship with tabitha. instead of helen’s relentless and unwelcomed attempts to get birnam sober, tabitha reluctantly agrees to help jughead trip safely bondage escape notwithstanding. she even helps him get the drugs.

- whatever potentials exist for parallels to jackson’s story, they were not explored for this episode. ok so why tf am i even talking about this? what was there instead?

-  i have arrived at the point

- s5 has been revisiting s1, not directly but with a twist. and jughead’s agent samm pansky is back. u may recall, pansky is named for sam lansky

- jughead’s trip-thru-trauma is a story device tapped straight from lansky’s book ‘broken people’

- lansky is like if a millenial john rechy wrote extremely LA-flavored meta but just about himself no jk very like a modern successor to charles r jackson. both play with the boundary between memoir and fiction. lansky is gay; jackson wrote his lost weekend counterpart as closeted and remained closeted himself until only a few years before his death. both write with emotional clarity and self-scrutiny on the experiences of addiction, sobriety, and the surrounding issues of shame and self worth

- i feel like a fool bc after this ep i had been thinking about de quincey and his early writings on addiction (c.1800s), but i failed to carry the thought in the other direction, to contemporary writers in the genre, to make this connection sooner

- lansky’s second book, broken people, follows narrator ‘sam’, mid-20s, super depressed, hastled by his agent to write a decent follow-up to his first book, but too busy struggling with his self-worth and baggage from several past relationships. desperate, he takes up an offer to visit a new age shaman who promises to fix everything wrong with him in a matter of days. not to over simplify it but he literally spends a weekend doing psychedelics and hallucinating about his exes. jughead took note

- unless u want me to hurl myself into yet another dissertation about queer jughead, i think his parallel to sam - who, unlike jughead, has considerable financial privilege and whose anxieties center on body dysmorphia, hiv scares, and his own self-centeredness - pretty much ends there

- But,, the gist of the book could not be more harmonius with a major theme shared by the 2 films that inform the actual hallucination part of jughead’s bunker scene: mentally reframing past relationships to get closure + confronting trauma head-on in order to move forward

- so that’s neat. what other book and author stuff was in 5.10?

- stephen king and raymond carver get name dropped. i’m passingly familiar with them both but u bet i just skimmed their wiki bios in case anything relevant jumped out

- like jughead, carver was a student (later a lecturer) at the iowa writers workshop. also the son of an alcoholic and one himself

- i recall carver’s ‘what we talk about when we talk about love’ is what jughead was reading in 2.14 ‘the hills have eyes’ after he finds out about the first time betty kissed archie (at that time he does not respond as would any of carver’s characters)

- this collection of carver stories deals especially with infidelity, failings of communication, and the complexities and destructiveness of love. to unashamedly quote the resource that is course hero, ‘carver renders love as an experience that is inherently violent bc it produces psychic and emotional wounds.’ very fun to wonder about the significance of this collection within the s2 episode and in jughead’s thoughts. and maybe now in the context of the s5 state of relationships. or, at least, the state of jughead’s writing as seen by his agent

- anyway pansky doesn’t want carver, he wants stephen king

- i have too much to say about gerald’s game in 5.10, that’s getting its own post someday soon

- lol wait king’s wife is named tabitha uhhh king’s wiki reminded me of his childhood experience that possibly inspired his short story ‘the body’ (+1986 movie ‘stand by me’) when he ‘apparently witnessed one of his friends being struck and killed by a train tho he has no memory of the event’

- no mention of that in this rd episode but memories of a train could be interesting to consider with the imagery that intrudes on jughead’s hallucination. i still feel like it was a truck but the lights and sounds he experiences may be a train

- ok now we’re in the speculation part of today’s segment

- if jughead’s traumatic memory involves trains, then it’s possible this plot will take influence from la bête humaine <- this 1938 movie is based on the 1890 novel by french writer émile zola. this story deals with alcoholism and possessive jealousy in relationships, sometimes leading to murder. huh, kind of like carver. zola def comes down on the nature side of the nature-vs-nuture bad seed question (tho i should say he approaches this with great or maybe just v french compassion). also i can’t tell if this is me reaching but, something about la bête humaine reminds me of king’s ‘secret window’ which we’ve observed to be at least a style influence on jughead post time jump

- but wow a late-19th century french writer would be a random thing to drop into this season, right? then again zola also wrote about miners, which we’ve learned are an important part of this town’s history + whatever hiram is up to this time.  and most notably, zola wrote ‘j’accuse...!’ an open letter in defense of a soldier falsely accused and unlawfully jailed for treason: alfred dreyfus. archie’s recent army trouble comes to mind.

- since the introduction of old man dreyfuss (plausibly Just a nod to close encounters actor richard dreyfuss, but also when is anything in this show Just one thing) i’ve been wondering if these little things could add up to a season-long reference to zola’s writings. but i had doubts and didn’t want to speak on it too soon bc, u know, it’s weird but is it weird enough for riverdale??

- however,,,

- (come on, u knew where i was going with this)

- a24′s film zola just came out. absolutely no relation to the french writer, it’s not based on a book but an insane and explicit twitter thread by aziah ‘zola’ wells about stripping and? human trafficking?? this feels ripe for rd even outside the potentials here for the lonely highway/missing girls plot.

- that would add up to a combination of homage that feels natural to this show

- anyway pls understand i’m just having fun speculating, most of this is based on nothing more concrete than the torturous mental tendril ras has hooked into my skull pls let go ras pls let go

[goodguydotmp3]

two questions: why don’t you like harry and do you really think harry villanized the weed video or do you think that was the people attempting to court him (azoffs)

Whew, this is a long one folx!

Why don’t you like Harry [Styles]?

Let me preface this response by saying that I’m a pretty new “fan” if one can still call me that. I got into the One Direction fandom in the summer of last year, and much of my opinions of the boys where shaped by fan reactions. After gathering more and more information however, I realized that the fandom and I were wrong about some things, and over hyping others. 

Still, it wasn’t until this year that I actually broke out of the Harry-centric bubble to realize that the shady goings on where much worse than I originally thought. Add to this my realization that Harry’s music really doesn’t withstand the test of time, and that his persona is pretty Stagnant, and I’ve come to feel rather bamboozled.

Of course I know that the entire point of his PR team is to sway public opinion of him one way, and if I ate it up that was part of the plan. That doesn’t mean I have to like it. It also doesn’t mean I feel any less hurt about it. It also doesn’t mean that I like when other people fawn over him, as quite a lot of what I’m going to say has been public knowledge, and some of it before I was even a fan.

A. Music

 Actually getting to a big part of the problem here, his music isn’t good. Well, not long term like I said in the preface. He doesn’t really have much of a vocal range despite being a singer for more than ten years. He does not care and acts like he does, often leading to him sounding like he’s screaming instead of singing. He’s lyrics are boring and flat, and his melodies are fine, they just don’t make up for his unmemorable lyrics. I personally think that the cause is him more heavily relying on song writers to fill in more in more, but that’s mostly because I don’t want to believe that the same person who wrote Happily and Olivia also wrote At the Dining Table and Treat People With Kindness, because that would just mean he’s getting worse or putting forth less effort. 

Of course one could argue that I’m not a professional, I don’t have the necessary Jargon to correctly critique, and I’m no longer a singer so I can’t even do what he does. But to that I say fuck off. I know what sounds good! I know what I like! 

Even more than that though, If you bought a product (non food), and you could only use that product for the first two weeks you bought it, you’d say it was a shit product! You’d scream from the rooftops that no one should ever buy this product because it’s crap! Well guess what? I pre-ordered Fine Line just to listen for two weeks and never pick it up again except for golden, she’s a funky tune every couple months. 

Besides the test of time, there is still the subject of actual talent/listenability if you will. I feel there’s four main categories when I listen to music that makes it worth listening to

1.Amazing voice

2.Awesome lyrics

3.Funky/ cool ass melody/Beat

4.Catchy as hell

Now, a song doesn’t need to be all four, however the more they have the more likely I am to like the song. Also, I’ve said “main categories” because I’ve definitely had songs were I just through the beat drop was cool, or maybe the bridge was sick as hell, or maybe I just liked the pacing or the way the singer/singers stressed a note. Alternatively there is a sweet spot for me of super depressing lyrics but a melody/ that makes you want to dance. See: most of After Laughter by Paramore, Lola By Mika. But in general, those four usually make me love a song long term.

If it’s an album, it usually Just has to sound like it belongs on the same album/ tell a story. Like I really don’t like albums that sound like it’s just a playlist of songs personally. I should be able to listen to a song and go “oh yeah, that’s off --- album” or I didn’t like the album as a whole. An album is a bit like an outfit to me. It’s not going to be all tops, nor does it need to be monochromatic, but it does need to go together

For Example, I love Four as an album. I thought it was amazing. I still hate Spaces and Illusion. I hate both of their melodies, I don’t like the Illusion intro, I’m not to keen on those lyrics, and they’re definitely not catchy, I skip every time. 

So taking that logic to Harry’s music, I think HS1 works very well as an album, almost all of the songs sound like they’re supposed to be there. And I hate every song but Kiwi. The lyrics are boring/don’t make a ton of sense, the melodies definitely don’t make up for that, he doesn’t have the range, and none of them are catchy! And then you get to Kiwi and she’s got that vibe you know? She’s a pop punk bop and I cannot fucking believe that Harry has one pop punk bop among unmemorable pop rock album.

Going to Fine line, It’s not as great as an album. There are some songs that don’t really feel like they fit? Like just going through the album, cherry doesn’t have any business being there? Like the lyrics fit sure, but what is that weird intro and outro? It probably would have been fine If the song didn’t have those two, but having them there upset the pace a bit I felt. And then there was Treat People With Kindness, which was really Jarring and doesn’t feel like it belongs on the album at all? It  actually feels like it’s trying to be Kiwi - it’s loud and garish, and the lyrics are trying to be carefree, but! It just doesn’t work! TPWK sounds like Hippie music! Kiwi sounds like Brendon Urie could sing it and people would be like “good ol Panic!”. And then the album goes back down into Fine line the song, which again is Jarring because you’ve had this TPWK monstrosity right before it.

Then, looking at the overarching theme of his music, It’s whiny piss baby music He hates to take responsibility for his actions! It’s all in his lyrics! And don’t get me wrong, I love Honest lyrics, but not if the person is an asshole! LIke I fucking hate confessions by Usher specifically becasue he’s talking about how much he’s a piece of shit in the most whiny and piss baby way, making it all about him and no the people he hurt. I also really hate that one song that Zayn did with Usher and Chris Brown, because you have these awful men completely misunderstanding what it means to write a love song, and then you have Zayn at the very end all like “actually I really am in love tho…” Esp Chris browns verse! It boils down to “Hey I know I was a asshole seven billion times but I miss you tho :(“ GIRL BYE! 

Harry sounds the exact same though, Except he can’t even blame himself for his own mistakes, and just wades through self pity about how the object of his affection won’t love him even though he didn’t even do anything except it wasn’t his fault and why are you still mad it wasn’t even his fault and he was young and reckless and drunk and horny. Like??? WRITE A NEW SONG TAYLOR SWIFT 2.0! There’s only so much you can repackage the same narrative before it becomes stale no Cinderella does not count keep that shit coming. And It really jumps out in his writing, even through 1d, although I will say there were some catchy beats, and awesome lines to keep him afloat back then. Although wtf was Walking in the Wind??? Choke!

Then there are the melodies I’m talking post wondee here which often give this 70’s pop rock vibe. Which fine I guess, it’s his brand, but that doesn’t make it interesting. Or new. Or fresh. Or an interesting take. 

Now I completely understand relying on nostalgia to boost people’s opinion, but you could at leas have the decency to actually have good music. For Example, Miss you by Louis Tomlinson has a very distinctive pop rock feel, but it’s also an amazing song. Great lyrics, amazing voice, catchy liddle diddy that happens to be reminiscent of that 2005- 2010 punk pop/emo pop feel. Sour diesel has that like,,,basey 90s pop feel, and it fucking works with the lyrics, and of course his voice is beautiful. When Walls dropped and Lou put out that playlist of songs that were an inspiration, you can hear the influences when you listen to the album, but they’re also really good songs in their own right, with amazing lyrics, and Louis’ distinctive voice. Comparing that to Harry, it seems like he’s mostly relying on people’s nostalgia rather than actually good music.

Okay so this last point I’m making on music is a little petty but it’s been like a week and I’m still pissed about it so I’m saying it now. Someone said that Harry Styles is the best pop rock artist right now???? Just admit that you don’t listen to pop rock tf. Louis Tomlinson is right there. Brendon Urie is right there. Mika is right there. Haley Williams is right there. Janell Monae is right there. I don’t listen to a lot of pop rock lol but i feel my point has been made

B. Public Persona

He get’s so much clout! SO MUCH CLOUT! For doing the bare minimum (this is not specifically about the fandom, that’s for later)! People will write all these glowing reviews of him for him??? Being polite??? Like okay and? Just because a person is polite doesn’t mean they’re fucking Jesus??? There’s a million and one stories so i’m not fucking looking them up but there’s the pizza story and the fish story and the plane story and the snl story and the Stormzy story and the WS story on and on and on! Stop giving this man brownie points for basic human decency. “I didn’t expect him to be like that!” okay is that because of their perception of what a rock star is supposed to be like? Because in that case we need to start holding people accountable for being assholes. Or is it because he seems like an asshole. Cause valid.

I also don’t like him leaning so heavily on the queer image thing. Like! If that’s how he likes to express himself, Fine, But so much of it is just...so manufactured! And I Know I’ve heard people say oh well he wore the one rainbow on his lapel that one time or he wore the shirt or he wore the Keith Harring.

1. That Rainbow pin is sus as hell I don’t care what ya’ll say It absolutely screams set up, if he wanted to not be seen he would have not been seen 

2. That goes for literally every other time. I can’t believe it’s not a set up to push a queer image. (that he profits from!)

3. If he actually did his homework on Keith Harring he’d know that the man was a predator, and he wouldn’t have worn those shirts. It seems so performative! To add to that, does he know now? If so, why isn’t he using his platform to correct his mistake? Why didn’t he come out and let people know not to buy Harring’s stuff??? He knows the pull he has! He absolutely could have been like “I’ve made a mistake, if you are looking for queer artists to support, here’s some” But he fucking doesn’t

4. To add on to that last part, It is actually sus that he gets to profit off of this queer image, and yet the only queer voices that he’s propping up are white gays. And then not even directly? Not a “queer artists, esp queer artists of color are important and need their voices boosted because they are the back bone of society” but this wink nod type of deal, where again, he mainly boosts white gays.like??? One queer black woman that doesn’t work for the Azoffs, and then a bunch of white gays. Like?? That’s not racist to anyone else???????Just me? okay.

Now from a professional point of view, it’s even worse. I’m not saying that artists can’t be campy or blurr gender lines, or imply that they ‘re queer subtly. But I think it’s fucking disrespectful to play both ends. Like, he profits off of using the queer image, all while Dancing around the subject, but then on the back end he never says that Homophobes/Transphobes aren’t allowed in his fandom. He gives this empty ass tpwk and then washes his hands of it. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am always upset when people who have lots of queerphobes in their fandom bullying and harassing the actual queer people never say anything to let queerphobes know they’re unwelcome (clearly money is better than morals) but for me it’s an extra kick to the gut for it to literally profit Harry to seem queer. Look at that time that  gay company sold out shirts in less than an hour,because harry was wearing it and tell me people aren’t throwing money at him because they feel he’s queer. 

C. Fashion

This one is a really rough one for me because this is partially what drew me into Harry in the first place. But he’s really not all that in terms of fashion. He’s expensive certainly, but sometimes, the things that are more expensive are worse. Even When He’s not looking like a grandparent out on the town, his style is very dated, and yet he gets paraded around like he’s the freshest new thing?? Like who is his team paying of for him to get that many articles about how he’s fashion’s biggest star. And the thing is, his style is even dated for the mainstream. There’s already a post about how he copies prominent pop/pop rock stars of the 70s, which means that his style is 50 years old for the mainstream. Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s totally fine if you’re addicted to seventies wear. I don’t think he should be heralded as this huge fashion star if his wardrobe is this dated

Even more than that. Gucci???? The Gucci with a history of Racism?? The Gucci with the child labor??? The Gucci with the 14 hour days Gucci??? Ugly ass Gucci????? Soulja Boy don’t even fuck with Gucci no more and he fuck with Gucci since like 2007. (although that was because of the racism, not cause it’s ugly)

I think that bothers me the most though. Like it’s not enough to exploit people, you also have to be tacky ugly and expensive???? For what??? @Gucci cease to exist please.

If Harry wants to be tacky ugly and expensive, that’s of course his rights to do so! But don’t act like he’s at the very pinnacle of fashion every time he does. 

I’m actually always very conflicted about that. I personally prefer a style that’s very loud and campy and avant garde but like,,,,that ain’t it. Maybe it’s something you got it or ya don’t??? Like for example Billy Porter could wear a trashbag and make it work. The expensive sweaters and the slacks? The suits? Not a good look on one Harry Styles. Maybe it’s because they’re expensive sweaters and slacks and expensive suits. What are you, Ted from accounting??? Grow up.

D. Treat People With Kindness

Ugh this is the thing that pisses me off like the second to most. This phrase is so fucking empty. You could not have made up a more corporate mandated phrase if you fucking tried. It stands for nothing! Just like him!

Let’s break it down. “Treat people with kindness” is, at face value, a call to action. It’s asking you to do something. But it doesn’t actually tell you what to do!! So it’s pretty inoffensive! You don’t actually have to change your behavior in anyway for two main reasons:

1. What the hell is Kindness??? This phrase never actually says what it is??? It’s just this short little punchy thing that assumes you know what kindness is! What if you didn’t actually know? What if you have differing ideals of what is considered kindness? I mean to my mother, Misgendering me is kindness, but I don’t think that’s kindness. To my father, not letting his children have autonomy is kindness, but I don’t find that kind. And yet they could both use that phrase and feel confident that they go around treating people with kindness. After all they cooked dinner didn’t they? They smiled at Janice from public relations didn’t they? That’s kindness right?

2. It also assumes you know what “people” are. Queer people are people. Queerphobes don’t consider queer people, people. Racists aren’t going to consider some people, people. So they can continue their harassment and dehumanization of them and still be treating people with kindness, because they never harmed actual people (to them)

E. Harry bots

Bitch?? Corporate spies?? Tf ??? That’s not weird to ya’ll ?? I think the thing that shocked me more than someone from Colombia records admitting that he manufactures the hype around people signed to Colombia, is the fact that the Fandom been knew!!!! Ya’ll been knew and ya’ll wasn’t gon tell me???????? I just found out last week wtf????????

Another thing I don’t like about them Harry bots, is it’s one thing to hype up Harry, but why tf do they need to shit on the other boys??? Is it because they’re more talented, good looking, and charming??? How about you get good!!!! I esp hate that it’s usually Louis. What is Corporate’s obsession with putting Louis down like? What a bunch of fucking weirdos?? It’s not enough to be a Harry fan and live up his ass, I gotta hate Louis too?? You lost yo damn mind. If you reading this and you a spy? Die.

F. Capitalism

Honestly that should be the end of it but here the fuck we go I guess. Now I get that there is going to be some capitalism involved when you get music, especially mainstream music, there are tones of articles out there with people who used to be in the industry telling you about how fucking awful it is, all in the pursuit of money. (Which isn’t fucking real by the way! We made it up! People out here getting traumatized! Belittled! Bullied! Married off! So some corporation can make all the money! The Imaginary Credits! That we made up! I hate it here!) 

But it’s another fucking thing to participate in a capitalist system? He invested into that one sleep app, even going to do one of the voice sessions (So you could have Harry Styles themed sleep paralysis) and you pay for that! He makes money off that! It’s not enough that you buy his mediocre music or his ugly ass merch, you also have to give him money through the sleep paralysis app. 

Then there was that Google Camp for Rich People Only! I don’t even want to fucking hear that it was on Climate Change oh wow all the rich people took helicopters and Yachts to a resort with manicured lawns??? To talk about how they treat the environment? That’s not at all Counter intuitive! Not at all for show! Fucking disgusting.

Oh and the Covid Shirt! Really bitch??? You need to Profit off a deadly pandemic? Are you profiting off of AIDS next you fucking bastard. And he can of course get a tax write of for his “ charitable donation” fuck off.

G. Racism

This! This is the thing that gets me the most! YA’LL CAN EXCUSE RACISM???

No, I’m not talking about the Native American Headdress thing, that was plenty despicable on it’s own, No I’m talking about the on going racism. The whole, using black people for clout and then dropping them and never returning the favor when they sing his praises thing. Specifically I’m thinking of Sis the activist, Stormzy, and Lizzo. 

The Lizzo thing pisses me off the most actually. I think it’s very fucking convenient that Harry started taking interest in Lizzo after there was uproar from black fans noting his hypocrisy of performing for Pepsi (Notoriously racist) and Having BLM sticker on his guitar. So he shows up at one of her concerts dressed like a senior citizen that got lost on the way to the retirement home bathroom. She looked fucking amazing and he couldn’t put forth the effort to at least not look senile. Then there was the covering of her songs, and then there was the cuddling up with her at the awards show. Funny how I haven’t seen any interaction after the fact! And Of course everyone forgot about the Pepsi concert! Fuck all the way off!!

Also! Are we just never going to talk about the fact that he didn’t comment on the blm protests earlier this year until his team could gauge whether or not it would be profitable to do so by DATA MINING HIS FAN BASE???? And then when he actually did he got the most praise for it, truly fucking hate it here. Also when he marched with those protesters he made sure we knew it was him. There were posts flouting around everywhere on how to best cover up to make yourself completely unrecognizable should you wind up on camera or fucking worse, get attacked by the police. Funny how Close Sprouse could follow the advice and not Harry? Also supper funny how he got the hell out of dodge before things got super bad and I have not heard anything on the matter since. Guess what Harry??? We’re still out here fighting for the rights to exist! Still wanna have a photo op while our own government tries to squash us with force????? This is like that Jenner Pepsi ad but with sunglasses and a pandemic.

H. Fandom

I think I would hate him less if I didn’t have to hear about him every hour of everyday. Stop Hyping this man so much. Even after unfollowing and blocking a bunch of Harries and Larries he’s all across my dash. And twitter. And insta. KURTIS CONNER FUCKING LIKES HIM I JUST WANTED CRACK CONTENT AND NOW LOOK. 

I. Conclusion.

After writing all this I think the running theme is that Harry Styles isn’t even a person, he’s a brand. I do not like or trust brands! And I definitely don’t like being advertised to! Just like It’s fake as fuck when Absolut is all about queer rights, it’s fake as fuck when Harry does it too. Just like I know Target doesn’t actually care about Black lives, I know Harry doesn’t either. People are always like “oh he’s so nice!” no! He’s polite! There’s a difference. Zayn Is a truly kind person. Liam is a truly kind person. Louis is a truly kind person. It shines though so brightly all the time, and yet people are really out here worshiping the Brand Harry Styles. 

Do I think It was Harry or The Azoffs throwing Zouis under the bus. 

Truly doesn’t matter! Whichever one did it, Harry was totally fine with it! Which tells me that he doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He’ll go along with anything as long as it gets him to the top, and that’s fucked up on one million and one levels

[nxmuzluv]

ariana birthday hcs !! —

it’s september 1st in south korea & japan rn,,,, so you know what that means

26th birthday hcs 👁👁

(this post is long as hell so brace urselves lmao)

on the morning of her birthday, ariana is woken up by either twitter and message notifications or her husband

her fans are blowing up her mentions with birthday wishes and her family & friends are doing the same, so bet that she has about a million notifs

since byakuya gets ready for work before ariana, he usually comes back to wake her up (even if she’s already up lol)

he hands her coffee (a caramel macchiato with a shit ton of cream and three sugars), tells her “good morning” and “happy birthday, love,” and kisses her on the forehead

(SOBBINFGMNBKJHBMK)

they usually have a short lil conversation about whatever (what they’re going to do that day, ariana’s birthday, other random topics) before byakuya tells ariana to go to work lol

but before she does, she usually opens twitter and scrolls down her birthday hashtags (which are already trending with about 100,000 or so tweets lmao), and responds to her text messages

three hashtags i came up with are “#AutumnFairyAri,” “#26WishesForAriana,” and “#아름이하트27개” (#27HeartsForAhreum) 🥺

(the last one is because ariana is 27 in korea lol)

guaranteed that she’s smiling like an idiot at those tweets lol

if her fans are lucky, ariana might like their post. if they’re extra lucky, she might even respond-

(cue the combustion of her fanbase)

then she posts a lil morning selfie, thanks her fans for all the birthday wishes, complains about how she has to go to work on her birthday, and then she finally gets ready for work lol

as ariana does, her fanbase is literally in flames lmao they’re screaming at her new selfie (“LOOK AT HER HAIR OMG MNJSHFJFMNGJ” - one of ariana’s fans, most likely), flooding her comment section, and taking over the trending page

ari and byakuya usually leave together, and ariana gets dropped off first, so when she does, they usually say goodbye to each other & byakuya gives her another kiss on the head

ofc they say “i love you” to each other, and if anyone around them has sumn to say about it, then byakuya can just make their jobs disappear !! 😗✌🏽

once ariana gets to work, she’s immediately greeted by another round of birthday wishes and the occasional gift (because oh my GOD she gets so many from her staff)

the best gift comes from her manager of 22 years, yoo miyeon. that woman is literally like ariana’s second mother it’s so cute-

miyeon usually says something along the lines of “remember when you were shorter than me ???” (it is now the other way around lmao)

near the end of her day, ariana sits in her company’s conference room, goes live on vlive, and opens the shit ton of gifts, cards, letters, and bouquets that were sent to her by her fans (and god damn doesn’t she get a lot-)

(ariana loves the bouquets,,, she literally squeals every time she sees that she got another one :(( she’ll be making flower arrangements with all of them later on lol and she’ll probably go live again 👁👁)

her birthday lives are one of the things ariana loves the most. she gets to speak to her fans, speak to her staff all casually, and her fans get to see her again. it’s a win-win :))

(bet, byakuya is watching that live when he has the time and has sent a message to ariana. when she spots his message, knows it’s him, and gets incredibly happy is one of the best moments of the live)

she also speaks to her family (they’re all in korea and america while she’s in japan 😕) during the live !! near the end, ari blows out the candles of the cakes that were bought for her by her staff and her family, and she answers questions from her fans

(lol remember back in 2011 when ari’s fans thought she was gonna finish high school & come back to korea, but instead she met this tall blond mf, fell in love with him, moved in with him, and then ended up marrying him 10 years later so now she’s really not coming back ??? lmao good times 🤣🤣🤣)

it’s a v nice moment & if you miss it, that’s such a loss lol ariana rarely goes live since she’s always so busy

after well over 12 hours, ari’s work day is finally over. on those types of days, she gets home before byakuya at around 7 or 8pm

after work, both of them go to dinner !! :))

while byakuya is coming home, ariana just gets ready. there’s a dress from byakuya that was hung by his staff in ariana’s closet (it’s black and designer, ofc 🙄✋🏽), and all ari has to do is shower, do her hair and makeup, pick out her shoes, and pick out a bag from the literal hundreds that she has

say it with me, y’all !! bag hag

ariana goes live on instagram while she does that as some kind of “get ready with with me” thing. she gets to talk to her fans again (especially her stan twitter ones lol), ask how she should style her hair & do her makeup, and ask what accessories she should choose

she also plays music in the background (especially britney spears, christina aguilera, the pussycat dolls, rihanna, nelly furtado, gwen stefani, lee hyori, or hyuna because they make her feel hotter than she already is lmao) !!

and ari sings to whatever’s playing and she gets haruka-

(am i allowed to put her here ??? i’ll just put here here lol 🤪)

-to say hi & help with her hair and makeup, so ariana’s lives are just a gold mine worth of content lmao

byakuya comes home just a lil while before ariana’s finished, and ofc, she forces asks him to say hi to her fans

lmao all that man does is silently wave with the world’s straightest face, and the chat is just yelling about how fine he is (“GO OFF RICH BOY” - one off ariana’s fans, probably). like HE’S NOT DOING ANYTHINGFGDHMBK

but as they should 😩☝🏽

ariana asks her fans if she should leave or stay on the live for a while longer, and ofc, they usually say that she should stay,,,, but that woman rarely listens tbh ASMNKHJFMNJK

she might stay for like,,, 5 minutes, but usually, she just leaves lmao

a lil while before she and byakuya leave, they talk to each other and to haruka for a while, and haruka probably most definitely takes polaroid pictures of ari and byakuya before they leave lol

(ariana def posts those on twitter later and all byakuya does is retweet them)

(but ofc he’ll tweet out a post wishing his wife a happy birthday,,, okay byakuya, look at you making progress !!)

the restaurant ariana and byakuya go to is of course very fancy and luxurious (it probably serves french cuisine too lmao). ari insists that they get a table on the rooftop, and since it’s her birthday (and since he loves her sm), byakuya complies :))

they talk the entire night, and if she can, ariana reaches over to hold byakuya’s hand most of the time :((

(taking a bit from rae’s hcs on how byakuya would celebrate his s/o’s birthday,,,,, like i’ve kinda been doing the whole time 🚶🏽‍♀️)

after dinner, the two of them will take a walk through tokyo. ariana would love it (well, not really, because she’s wearing literal heels lmao), especially since she and byakuya rarely get to do things like that. she’ll be taking pictures of things she finds interesting and would 100% ask byakuya to take pictures of her (and vice versa)

(she’s posting those on twitter too,,, ariana nation is getting fed well lol)

and then they can finally go back home and stay home, and ariana can finally open the rest of her gifts !!

they’re gifts from her family, her close friends, and of course, from byakuya and haruka !! ari’s literally smiling the whole time as she opens her presents (especially the ones from her family,,, hayley’s homemade birthday cards are always so cute 🥺), and haruka has that polaroid camera out again

(ariana: does anything)

(haru: you’re doing great sweetie !! 😀📸)

idk exactly what ariana would want for her birthday (tmw you don’t even know the preferences of your own character 🧍🏽‍♀️), but most likely, it’s either something homemade or a designer item lmao (mainly another purse-)

fun fact: her aunt josephine spoils the shit out of her lol like ariana could see a bunch of bags from chanel, louis vuitton, and yves saint laurent and automatically think “yeah, that’s my aunt lol”

ariana facetimes her family again, as well !! they get to speak to byakuya and haruka, they sing “happy birthday” to her in korean, they ask her if she liked their gifts, and it’s just a very cute family moment :))

it’s like,,, 11pm by the time ari finishes opening her presents, so she really has to go to bed

before that though, she spams her followers with the pictures that were taken, and posts one last “thank you” tweet before her birthday inevitably ends 😕

(well not really since it’s gonna be september 1st in other parts of the world lmao)

“everyone! thank u sooo much for all the birthday wishes u gave me today! it wouldn’t have been such a great one without y’all, my family, my best friends, my husband (@ByakuyaTogami), and my no. 1 fan, my sister-in-law lmao (@harukaonice). i love each and every single one of y’all with my entire heart, and i’m so glad u love me just as much 🥺 i saw as many of ur posts as i could, and i just wanna thank y’all for reaching over a million tweets! can’t believe y’all think that i’m that important lol (i mean, ofc i am 🙄✋🏻) anyways, once again, thank y’all smmmm! love y’all lots!! <3 ari <3” - ariana’s tweet 🥺 (that she posts in four different languages lol; english, korean, japanese, and french !!)

(SHE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART IM LITERALLY CRINGHMNHJDJGKM)

then ariana and byakuya finally go to sleep (it’s like 1am now jesus christ-), and ariana’s twitter notifications are still blowing tf up lmao

n e ways, that ends this behemoth of a post !! happy birthday to my baby, ariana park and even though she doesn’t exist (😕), i hope she enjoys it to the fullest !!

bonus !!

if she has a public appearance scheduled before or on her birthday, if fans are allowed to attend, they sing “happy birthday” to her whenever they see her !!

like, she could be entering a building and they would sing it, and then she could exit a few hours later & they’ll sing it again lol

ariana’s just like, “babes, you already sang this to me earlier !!”

when it comes to her “more important” birthdays (although her birthdays are always important)—such as her 18th, 20th, or 21st birthdays—ariana will throw quite a big party. like there would be a bunch of celebrities and popular society figures on the list,,, it would be a whole spectacle that the average person could only dream of getting into lmao (like me, ofc 🚶🏽‍♀️)

when ari was a child, her parents would throw a birthday party for her nearly every year lol,,, and while they were living in korea together, they would have dinner with nearly their entire family, too

(she always got two cakes, too,,, like it’s just kinda tradition for the park family at this point lol)

since ariana and jungkook (from bts) share the same birthday, either one of them message each other to wish each other a happy birthday !! ari also sends him a gift, while jungkook posts said gift on twitter and probably fanboys,,, i have a feeling that he would be a fan of her and her dramas,,, as well as the rest of bts

(they have each other’s numbers because ariana is a korean celebrity and they’ve attended events together on multiple occasions,,, ofc she and bts know each other lmao)

and i forgot to mention, but haruka would totally watch ariana’s birthday vlive if she didn’t have practice or something,,, probably sending as many messages as she can & aggressively hearting the live lmao,,, that girl really is ariana’s biggest fan SKJMNNFJMK

i also forgot to mention that JH entertainment (ariana’s agency) releases photos from a birthday photo shoot that they did with her !! they have different themes every year and they’re always so cute :((

they’re also taken prior to ariana’s actually birthday, especially since she’s always in japan now lol (but like,,, how do people not notice her going back and forth between korea & japan sometimes-)

(also, big verified accounts and celebrities on twitter & instagram wishing ariana a happy birthday >>>>>)

(celebrity tingz 🤪)

n e ways, now i’m done !! happy birthday, ari ilysm <3

(the character of haruka togami belongs to @raes-ramblings, btw !!)

[bbubble-tea]

Genshin Impact boys

how they are as your bf (modern time)

my first headcanon hope u guys like it 💛

childe x y/n, zhongli x y/n, kaeya x y/n, diluc x y/n, albedo x y/n, and xiao x y/n

CHILDE

okay so this dude is the type to join you doing crazy shit

like in the middle of a night walk in the mood to scream at a rooftop or at a park he would join you

cause of how understanding this dude is he just lets u let out your emotions

this dude will BUY YOU EVERYTHING

he will buy you hoodie even if its in the middle of summer djdndjdndj

he is the type to bring you at a cafe on your first date and argue with you on splitting the bill or no

but this sneaky dude just slipped the cash and walked away

oKAY he is also good at kids and Teucer will sometimes join you on your dates

in the middle of the movie night Teucer would just sneak in between the two of you and cuddle of course he would let Teucer do it

even if it takes your attention off to him and the movie big pouty babie

he is a sincere guy he is for keeps

ZHONGLI

forget the fact that this man is broke okay

he would be very serious but romantic he is into fancy things and giving you something elegant

this dude will buy you everything and dunno what to do abt it

one time he brought you a ton of sanitary pads cause you said u need 'em for just some days cause your period is almost done

he brought a supply for two or three months okay he wants to spend money for you

dinner dates at a reserved fancy restaurant

paimon is served, jk no he would let the staff know your favorite foods and boom

you asked him once why is he spending so much money on simple dates or such

he said, "it's because you are important to me, i would do anything to give you happiness and even if it is buying you sanitary pads just to see you worry free it makes me happy."

he would also give you dad jokes but you laugh cause he would be confused after saying it how cute

KAEYA

T E A S E

this bitch— i mean this dude is a tease

he is a gentleman but a tease

he would bring you to fancy restaurant

on your date he told you that he would bring you somewhere good so instead of dressing up formally you choose to wear your casual clothes (jeans, shirt and rubber shoes)

sO EVERYONE was eyeing you like why tf u show up at a restaurant with casual clothes yeah judgers 🙄 but anyways so embarrassment rushing over you as you hide your face in his shoulder

this dude will rush to a near clothes shop and buys a hoodie or anything casual and eat with you there

"can't make them only look at you, i should be the one doing that cause you're mine bae."

yeah he calls u bae/baby/babe

DILUC

he is the quiet type but full of surprises

he just go into your room and say you need to dress up and head out for a date

well prepared dates like he would reserve a seat at a restaurant or just really go to a fast food and do other stuff

he can't say no to you, ask him to wear maid outfit? yeah! ask him to wear cat ears? yeah!

when fights he won't notice you first but then he is the one who will seek for your attention

he loves cuddling with you he just can't say it cause he is flustered

ALBEDO

he is a sweet boyfie yeah so sweet

he will help you with chemistry, or anything science related (well he can also help you with other subjects)

your first date yes, you thought he will bring you to some cafe or to the mall or to the cinema house but NO

he brought you to a museum, yes MUSEUM

some science related museum cause he knows he influenced you to like science

and as his final place for date he brought you to a planetarium dang he got science romance and its cute

as you walk home with him klee insists for you to stay cause she likes being with you

so for the night you were watching movies with them to make you sleepy

as klee is cuddling with you, didn't even notice albedo who is a bit jealous at klee

but he love the scenery of the two of you, well you must enjoy a bonding time with your future sister-in-law right??

"day spent well, would you like another date? tomorrow? the day after tomorrow? or next week?"

XIAO

he blushes okay he is so flustered

like the first days of your relationship he can't believe it so as you

he is the type of boyfriend to do everything just to make you happy

he doesn't like showing his emotions in public but when with you its full of blushes and laughters

every 12mn is your soft hours with him, even if far away he would call you or you would call him cause you know something is wrong

you two have telepathy, like if someone needs the other without telling it to them he'll be just right infront of your door

on your date he brought you to the mall to watch movies and after the movies he dragged you into an arcade

then you met your worst enemy the claw machine,, jk

you were so eager to get that rex lapis plushie cause it's cute so he just eyes you there but deep inside cursing the damn claw machine

he slips away secretly while you are busy threatening the claw machine he goes on to win the plushie for you

giving up with the claw machine you noticed xiao is not beside you trying to look for the boy you saw him with a small smile

"c'mon i feel irritated with the clas machine" you said shaking his arm

"here, i won this for you." he said with red cheeks

"aww that's so sweet thank you!"

he is flustered and just held your hand the whole date