#man it's been so long since i've tried tagging a post normally

[semi-completely-original]

i usually don't post art here, but i'm unfortunately shadow banned on my normal apps since i reposted too many palestine updates. oops! i'll try my luck here instead

there's a fem!haikaveh takeover lead on twitter rn and one of the loudest champions of this is my lovely mutual who inspired this outfit by giving me femveh brainworms :3 she is a WOMAN IN STEM!!!!!

[thatonegayship]

I had to

Wait, does the cheating thing on the bond always works? bcs that would be kinda freaky for R!Dipper like imagine you get pinned down by someone in the corner of a br or smthng and then said person kissed you and proceeded to explode into red mist and you literally have no idea what happened.

Also, would the constellation mark be a "cursed" Mark over the years, like you would give birth to a baby and the doctor says "😟 I am so sorry ma'am,,, I'm afraid your baby has the Cipher Companion mark. ( could also be something equally as science-y like Ursa Major, Constellation Calamation, etc idk)" And you just burst into tears.

Would that mean that dipper would get into a special program(demon wrangling program or smthng, demonologist? Maybe)? Or would the parents hide it away hoping that Bill would never take their child away?

(Sorry this au is just very interesting to me,,,, I hope u get more motivation, keep writing author 💪)

These are all options! The fun part of reincarnation AU being left ambiguous is that technically any of them could happen.

[skippiefritz]

reqs from @idanit and @beetle-goth (sorry for tags I'll untag if asked ^^;)

long rambly post ahead! Unlike what I normally post but its my account so I can do what I want lol

(This probably isn't the most historical thing I’ve ever written but! I will fix as I work on it more lol)

the implications of Bertie's bachelorhood if he were a bachelorette fascinate me endlessly

I read this post and it gave me brain worms and I've been designing an au around it ever since

In this au it's a complete genderswap with all characters, uncle Alistair (aunt Agatha) becomes more old fashioned sexist to Bertie, not thinking she can take care of herself. (sorry Agatha stans)

Which like. She can't. But it's nothing to do with her being a woman.

Bertie keeps her core character traits, but by merely being a woman living alone in 1920s London, she inherently becomes more independent and rebellious.

She's sneakier about her escapades, still stealing hats off bobby's and the like, but tries to be subtle about it. Emphasis on tries, she's still a Wooster at her core, and thus a very

big klutz.

Bertie is just completely and unapologetically her/himself regardless of gender, for better or for worse.

If humble pie is being served, she will surely go back for seconds every time.

I can picture her leaning very hard into the roaring twenties flapper persona, but still being a homebody at heart. Big of heart, dumb of ass.

The biggest issue of course is the engagements, it’s a lot harder for a woman (particularly one whose family wants her to get married) to get out of engagements. THIS is where the fun new plots come in

Obviously there’s the classic setting up her fiances with other women, so they call it off and marry their true loves. And the occasional making herself seem unsuitable to be married. (though, this would usually backfire, that would make it seem like she needed to be married more, so she had a man to take care of her and make her settle down)

Instead of focusing on making it seem she herself is un-weddable, she (and by she I mean Jeeves) concocts byzantine schemes to paint her potential suitors in the worst light possible, or to make them seem negligible so one family or the other would call it off.

I’ve been working on one such story, I haven't ironed out all the details but it ends with Gussie pushing Bertie into a lake. Of course. (I may make  a comic abt it when done)

Jeeves’ character is fascinating too, I see her being the classic “quiet competent woman who gets shit done”. She would be less respected than m!jeeves, but still far more respected than the average maidservant of her time.

I can see her need for fashion clashing with the maidservant outfits of the time, part of me is tempted to keep her design the exact same and make her a big beautiful butch, but…I know that's probably not how it would go.

Jeeves would wear the classic Maidservant outfit of the time, though I can see her styling it subtly to suit her more.

Her control over Bertie’s wardrobe, while still being “God this bitch has no fashion”, also has an undercurrent of internalized sexism. She’s discomforted by the more risque (by those times) outfits Bertie enjoys wearing, like her flashy flapper dresses and the like.

Of course, she’s also uncomfortable by how attractive she finds her in said risque clothes. (drama!!)

And they end up compromising !!! and Jeeves has a lil arc in learning to accept the new fashion wave and embracing bodies and whatnot.

Their dynamic would essentially be the same, homoeroticism, Jeeves being morosexual, Bertie being endlessly impressed by her.

also because of the ridiculous british nicknames most the characters are referred to the same, they just have diff first names, here's a quick cheat sheet

(I tried to keep them similar and also extremely english)

Reginald Jeeves = Regina Jeeves

Bertam "Bertie" Wooster = Bertha "Bertie" Wooster

Reginald Jeeves = Regina Jeeves

Aunt Agatha/Dahlia = uncle Alistor/Dahl

Augustus "Gussie" Fink-Nottle = August "Gussie" Fink-Nottle

Charles "Biffy" Biffen = Charlotte "Biffy" Biffen

Marmaduke "Chuffy" Chuffnell = Marigold "Chuffy" Chuffnell

Stephanie "Stiffy" Byng = Stewart "Stiffy" Byng (the implications of a man being named Stiffy are. different but Wodehouse had to know what he was doing with that name)

Richard "Bingo" little = Richenda "Bingo" Little

and so on and so forth!

Anyway uh, this went on for a while lol

I’m working on designs for them and will gladly share if asked! But they’re nowhere near done dhjdsh thanks for coming to my ted talk.

I don't know if any of this made sense, sorry if it doesn’t.

also for a bonus here's a quick messy collage I made of f!Bertie

[honeybewrites]

Proud of Tag

Wow I got a writers tag?!?! Thanks @kaylinalexanderbooks for the tag!!!! I got a little too excited to see that notification haha

Rules: post an excerpt you are proud of

Soooo I've never actually shared any of my writing. A spent a tad too long looking through my writings over the years. This is one I'm particularly pleased with, mostly because I finally nailed down (vaguely, this is still a first draft) how I want two characters to meet. So enjoy!!

P.S. I tried to get everything I could think of with the CW's, but if I missed something or another label would be better, please message me so I get it changed!

CW: condition, referenced physical abuse/torture, referenced blood and injury, referenced temporary death and resuscitation

The projections suddenly disappeared, vanishing like ghosts. Taking off the headset, there was no one else in the training cube. She knew better than to think it was a malfunction. No. Her training had been stopped for a reason. Taking off the rest of the gear, she set everything aside, standing and waiting in the center of the small room. Hands clasped behind her back. Staring ahead mutely. Waiting for whoever would deliver her next orders. Two minutes later, she heard Master Gerd's footsteps. Followed by another pair. The steps were heavy, long strides. Highly likely to be another male, though not a Master she was familiar with. The door to the cube opened. Master Gerd walked in, followed by a man. He was tall. Well built. Not as old as Master Gerd, but at least middle aged. Suntanned skin, white and gray shoulder length hair. A goatee completed the look. He didn’t wear the standard Mors black suit, but his clothes were certainly expensive and protective. The intricate knife on his belt and bulging bag with the Mirralian government insignia told her he was a respectable figure. One that was well above herself. But his eyes… they were like brewing storm clouds. Dark, dark gray, with a hint of white lightening when the light hit them right. Only there was no ferocity in them. They were gentle. Like soft rain in early spring. It was odd, to see that gentleness in a man’s eyes. What was more strange, was the fact he smiled upon entering the room. One that reached his eyes. Perhaps there was something wrong with him. What man would smile upon seeing her? Other than a perverted one she was tasked with seducing. Though his smile didn’t look like a perverted one. “She’s efficient. Loyal. Well trained and obedient. She won’t be near as difficult as your last Asset,” Master Gerd said to the man before turning to her. “Due to your increased injuries and… questionable mission tactics, you are being assigned a field handler.” She had become more careless in her missions. Leaving more messes and bodies behind. Coming back bloodier each time. Master Gerd had been growing more frustrated with it. Especially over her lack of tidiness. He’d said as much. Repeatedly. He couldn’t punish her directly for it, since she completed her missions effectively, but that hadn’t stopped him from finding other things to punish her for. The message was still clear. The momentary death and reviving needed after her last mission must have been the final straw. Though assigning her a field handler seemed a bit… unorthodox. She had grown more messy, true, but her completion rate had skyrocketed. She was completing missions normally reserved for squads or duos, alone, well under the allowed timeframe. Especially compared to before… no. Those weren’t things she should be thinking about. It wasn’t her place to question orders. She was trained to follow them. Nothing more. "This is Master Ronan Airvix. you will treat him with proper respect and you will obey his orders, just as you do mine. If I hear of disobedience, there will be serious consequences, is that understood?" "Yes sir," she said listlessly. "You've been assigned another mission. Debrief and objective has been sent to your comm. Airvix will be accompanying you. You leave tomorrow morning." "Yes sir." He turned back to Master Airvix, waving a hand in her direction. “Do what you will with her until then. She’ll comply. Though try not to do too much damage to her before departure.” “Her file has been sent to you. If you have further questions you may ask Healer Asurr, myself, or her if you wish. Though she likely won’t know the answers you want. She’ll need three hours before departure to prepare her gear and stop in Physical for her pre-check.” "Right, got it." Master Gerd left without another word. The door didn't make a sound as it closed behind him.. Leaving Master Airvix and her alone. She kept her position. Waiting for his instructions.

“I know Gerd introduced me as ‘Master Ronan Airvix’ but you can just call me Rage.” He chuckled a little. Hand rubbing the back of his neck. “Most people do. Nickname I earned myself in healing school. Uh, what else? Oh, I’m Mirralian, certified healer, and uh, I’m blind. Wasn’t born blind, result of an accident, but I’ve learned to live with it. Doesn’t stop me from ‘seeing’ and it’s helpful at times. What about you? What’s your name?” “Asset 703,” she said.  She wasn’t quite sure what to make of his little rambling about himself. Perhaps he just liked to hear himself talk? No. That didn’t seem to fit his personality. It seemed to make him uncomfortable if anything. So why would he bother? "Well yeah, I know your number, but what's your name?" "Asset 703," she repeated. This must be some kind of test. She didn’t have a name. Or at least, she wasn’t supposed to. Her number was all the identification she needed. Master Gerd had punished her many times when he caught her responding to a name.  Her name would never be spoken aloud again. It would remain buried deep in the crevices of her mind. Right next to the memories of them. She would keep those memories safe. Far out of the reach of the Mors. It was the only thing she had left to remember them by.  “Don’t the other Assets call you something else?” He asked. Brow scrunched. Frowning. “I’ve seen them call each other names before.” Many of the Assets did have names for each other. Most of the Masters didn’t mind. Even Master Gerd turned a blind eye to it.  But they were just Assets. She was different. Worse. So much worse. The other Assets didn’t talk to her, nor she them. If she was assigned a mission with them, they avoided her. She returned the favor and kept to herself. She was well aware her presence was unnatural. Disorienting. Unfavorable. There was no need for her to be close with anyone. She had learned her lesson on relationships well. Never again.

Umm, let's see... I'll tag @themboty @ink-enchanted @charlesjosephwrites @minamaybe @halfbakedspuds

[whumpy-muffle]

Medwhump May Day 4: Sedated

I've dabbled in writing fiction every now and then but this is the first time I've actually posted any of it. Couldn't really figure out a fandom for this, so OCs it is then (didn’t have enough fictional evil men in my life so I decided to make some of my own).

Tags/warnings: medical inaccuracies, drugged (for their own good), questionable caretaking, mystery illness, descriptions of what getting drugged feels like, referring to an adult as a ‘kid’, organized crime, mentions of bullet and stab wounds

Words: 924

@medwhumpmay

Vincent was worried. He was pacing back and forth in the upstairs hallway of the boss’s mansion. It had been three days since they had that unfortunate run in with a rivaling association. Three days in hiding. 

He had had his hands full with helping his colleagues through their injuries. Vincent was the only one with a medical degree so of course he’d be in charge of that. He didn’t mind fixing up bullet grazes and stab wounds, those were normal in this line of work. But the man couldn’t help but worry about their youngest associate. Angelino was in pain. He didn’t get shot or stabbed but he had been in pain ever since they went into hiding. The kid had claimed it was just a migraine but the mob doctor had his suspicions. A migraine couldn’t really explain all of his weird symptoms.

Vincent gave the bedroom door another worried glance. The Don of their organization had been in Angelino’s room for a while now. Hopefully he’d be able to find out what was wrong with the kid. The old man had known Angelino since he was a toddler. Surely he’d know what was wrong with him.

Suddenly the door opened and the old man marched out of the room. He carefully closed the door behind him before turning to his underling. “Give him morphine,” the Don ordered.

Vincent was taken aback. “What? Why?”

“That’s not a migraine,” the Don said in a low voice, renouncing the excuse the kid had given them.

Vincent hesitated. “Shouldn’t I ask Angelino first?” 

“Do you ask permission from our customers before taking care of them?” the Don agitatedly demanded.

Vincent tried to argue back: “But sir if Angelino dies–”

“I don’t want you to kill him!” the Don interrupted him with a hiss. “Quite the opposite, I want him to not suffer.”

Vincent looked on as the old man walked up and down the hallway, muttering to himself:

“He’s too stubborn for his own good, I can’t believe how skittish Jack made him, and his father, he really screwed him over with this.”

Vincent took a calming breath before speaking up: “Right. How much morphine should I give him?”

“Enough to knock him out, to give him a proper break,” the Don replied in a low voice.

So he’d have to sedate Angelino. If that was the only way to ease the pain and maybe finally figure out what was wrong with him, so be it.

Vincent entered Angelino’s room. The kid was lying in his bed. His long dark hair was splayed on his pillow and he had an exhausted look on his sickly gray face. He was clearly still in agony. During the first day Vincent had hooked Angelino to an IV since the kid had refused to eat or drink anything. At least the cannula would make the job easier.

Angelino suspiciously peered at Vincent as he made his way to his bedside. “Didn’t you have a meeting to attend?” the young man asked in a strained voice.

“Yes, I’ll get to the meeting once I’m done with this,” Vincent replied. He rummaged through the supplies he had stored in the dresser drawer until he found what he was looking for.

Angelino kept warily looking as the mob doctor pulled out a syringe, connected it into the needleless access port, and began pushing the mystery liquid into his IV line. “What are you doing?”

“I’m just flushing the line,” Vincent lied to keep the kid calm.

“Why?”

“To move the fluid through,” the doctor replied as he carefully finished pushing the morphine into the tube and to the kid.

It didn’t take too long for the drug to take effect. “Vincent, the hell did you do to me?” Angelino demanded. His voice was weak but the panic still radiated through.

“It’s going to be fine Angelino, it’s to help you sleep and to ease the pain. Just relax and you’ll feel a lot better after this. Nothing bad will happen to you, I promise,” Vincent comforted him. He sat down on the bed to make sure the morphine would give out the desired result. He swallowed down the guilt he was feeling for breaking the kid’s trust.

Angelino tried to fight against the drug but it was a losing battle. A warm and fuzzy feeling was spreading from his core to all of his limbs. His head felt like it was floating, the pain disappearing further and further into the distance as a tidal wave of euphoria rushed over him. The room around him was turning into a soft blur and he felt exhausted. At the edges of his consciousness he heard Vincent softly talking to him. He couldn’t make any sense of it. 

Angelino tried his best to force himself to stay awake but it was no use. He had barely slept while being here and the part of him which ignored danger was begging him to just let everything go. It didn’t take long before Angelino’s eyelids fluttered and he became blissfully aware of nothing more.

Vincent watched as Angelino’s head lolled to the side as the morphine rendered the kid seemingly unconscious. He looked at his now half lidded glassy eyes. At least there weren't any thoughts or suffering behind them anymore.

After waiting for a few more cautionary seconds, the mob doctor stood up and made his way to the door. The Don was waiting for him, just outside the room.

“It’s done, he’s out,” Vincent simply announced.

[ballcrusher74]

hello. are you. perhaps 👉👈 willing to talk about the inspector/faux. ive only seen cool arts and no context so im rather curious.

OK!!! I actually love rambling about my ocs so small questions like this make me day. I just get nervous LOL But! I will say, there's gonna probably be a bit I'm leaving out because it does involve my friends' characters and it's still an on-going thing atm (we tend to roleplay on lethal company as our guys. btw the oc group is called Cleanup Crew ! it explains the recent reblogs and new tags I've added on posts with this guy) AND this does also involve my own little interpretations of in-game mechanics and other things, but otherwise, I'll get the rest of him down!

Inspector, also originally known by the name of Terrance Conroy (or Terry), was a typical scavenger working under 'The Company' after a couple rough times on his home planet. (This information isn't necessarily set in stone, but the idea of him being a washed-up rock star before quitting his passion to get a job that pays his rent has been bouncing around in my brain.) He used to be a normal guy, trying to find a little hope in his desperate situation, and was a social butterfly. He tend to bounce from crew to crew, sometimes staying in some for only a couple days, and some for months. He was a very careful man, and looked out for his fellow crew members.

And then, one day, his first death on the job happens.

But instead of being greeted by a bright white light at the end of a tunnel, or complete pitch darkness, he appears on the ship again- completely physically fine.

This.. confuses him at first, yet he continues on.

And then he dies again. And again, and again. Over and over, the more deaths he's endured, the more he comes to a morbid realization that he can't truly die, nor can those around him. He tries to keep this truth hidden away from the others, as they seem to not have mentioned it at all before. He remembers everything. Every time he was ripped to shreds by an eyeless dog, every time he blew up into pieces from a landmine, every time he was shot multiple times, every time he was left behind or ejected as part of the disciplinary process- He felt it all and remembered it all. This goes on for the course of years (around 8-10 roughly) and over that course of time, he begins to grow very careless. What's the point of saving someone if they'll just come back? What's the use of tears when you're only a couple dollars off quota with a shovel in hand?

What's the point of it all? And with that carelessness comes selfishness into the picture. With how long he's been stuck in the cycle, he has become a very manipulative person, putting up a playful and nice persona on the outside- almost sickeningly sweet- in order to help other's do his bidding. He believes that if he were to cause so much chaos, disorder, and disruption within a crew, to where it's like animals mauling each other apart, he'd be able to break free from it himself. He doesn't care anymore about leaving others behind. He's desperate at this point to find a way out. Faux, who is an alter ego / disguise for Inspector, ties more into the on-going events right now, but I can give a basic rundown on his personality. He's a klutzy and quiet man, typically only talking to others when it's just him and them, and nobody else around, playing himself off as a selective mute. Since this is just Inspector in a jazzy little jester outfit, he still possesses all the traits of that man, just hidden away as to not blow his cover. He's still tugging on the strings in some way, people just don't realize. Sure, he's off putting and just a tad bit strange, but how can a goofy man like that be terrifying?

WOOOW ok that's a lot more typing than expected, but here's also a couple fun facts about the guy !

He stands at 6 feet and 1 inch, and is a very lanky guy compared to others, but this wasn't always the case. He used to just stand at 5 feet and 6 inches, and had more normal human proportions. With how many times he has died and how long it's been of the cycle, it has fucked up his appearance a LOT. Other things include : his 'skin' being grey, his voice constantly sounding like it's coming from a walkie talkie, no visible neck, his face becoming the helmet itself (it still bleeds, but there's nothing in there), and inhumanly flexible.

The only thing left of him that represents his last strand of humanity, is a singular, dim eye behind the tape on his visor.

He is very much not a rational man anymore. He is quick to jump to things, and won't hesitant with his actions.

When waiting to return from death, he is able to manifest in someone's head as a disembodied voice, and will typically mock them, or try and manipulate them further. In this state, he can see everything through the eyes of the person he's haunting. ^ Fun fact about this! This was originally based off a stupid bit where my friend was streaming LC to me with other buddies on the game and I kept telling them to step on landmines and then kill someone for a promotion, and then Inspector was born!

and UH I think that's about it I have for the guy atm! If the rest of the cleanup crew gets dropped than I'll update this accordingly perhaps. As of right now, enjoy my oc slop 👍

[yuseirra]

Mm..; well, I went and checked the hikaai tag

I actually don't really look up the tags here anymore because I get nervous,

Um.. Um.. I'm sorry for being an embarrassment(I SURE POSTED A LOT...) But I found a lot of things worthy of drawing about them and there was something that really drew me in about the two of them!

It happens when I really like a ship. I enjoy thinking about two people sharing a very strong bond, having a deep attachment toward one another, caring a lot, I can go on about that and explore about it on and on. I never get tired of it. I've been doing it whenever I join fandoms. It's something I find very precious and these two had something intriguing between them.

I think...I'll be still able to provide more, thankfully.

My chest is actually lifted to a degree(if they're going to refrain from explaining anything at all??) Because I refuse to downright just take the guy as a monster when we DON'T KNOW how things exactly played out!!!;; why can't they show it to us?? The whole thing about lies? Covering up? Was that what this character was supposed to be about? Then ISN'T the public's perception of him what's WRONG because, he'll be known for being Aqua's killer when he ISN'T. HE DIDN'T WANT HIS SON TO DIE. THIS WASN'T THE OUTCOME HE'S WANTED, evil or not. That much is still clear. It's still unfair. If he's bad, let him face the consequences of what he's actually responsible for. We don't know. This isn't justice then! So, you know what. I am not going to take him as the evil behind it all. I could sense some kindness in him even if what's left of it's a remnant of what he's originally used to be. This wasn't a person that should have turned out this way. I could see it really well.

Nothing about what Kamiki's told to Aqua about the nature of the industry turned out to be wrong, did it? People flock together and they entertain themselves with stories, isn't that what's happened to Ai? And now it'll happen to Ruby? Gosh, this really does feel like a bad/normal ending route of a video game. What more did we need to unlock the "true end" and find out the real truths of what's been happening? Sad or Bad or Normal ending or not, however, the writers should EXPLAIN what's been going on still. What are they going to do if they can't do that within the given limits of their own piece?

Since things are so indefinite, I can take things as positively as I'd like, out of all the possibilities, huh? And I don't think it'd be so far from the real truth either... I don't really see Ai having fallen for some "monster" because they were smiling very happily together in their thoughts of each other. The positive emotions they had were mutual. He was so happy to be with her. That wasn't a lie. She wanted to be forever with him and he thought she made him feel alive. I think that's precious. Whatever they'd become. I don't think...Hikaru would have EVER tried to harm someone he felt that way towards. The guy used to be TIMID.

Oh this got long again but, since the series is ending there wouldn't be a lot to add about, heard there's going to be live action and Hikaru may get some scenes there? Seeing what the recent writing's made of him, can I..;; trust them to write him in a way that treats him like a human being? Idk, it's been so confusing because I was ALWAYS able to read out some parts of his humanity as he appears(I actually wholeheartedly resonate with the idea that the guy must have had a noble soul.) but they make the other characters treat him like an irredeemable villain that shouldn't be regarded to have a heart.

I'd like to think he was an essentially good person. And at least.. There will not be ANYTHING left to completely refute and deny me of this impression I have of him. I'd like to think Ai chose a kind soul to be her partner. What happened after she died and what's become of him...what is with this man? I can't BELIEVE that's still ambigious, trust me, I'm very strict about morals and being in the right. That's why I was so nervous. That's why I kept questioning. I need to know something in full in order to be able to judge something, it's unfair to do it without it being so and.. It seems like we'll never know. I'll never have to worry every week and question whether everything about him and Ai were to be lies. Maybe it is but??; I've come to the conclusion that their love was actually real. It did bring disasters but I think they really did care for one another?? Things could have been so much better. I think they really could have been happy with the twins and them having formed a loving family could have become reality, because Hikaru was never so hostile towards the twins after all except that one really freaky thought he had but HE DIDN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT. He probably.. Really could have felt Ai in a pretty solid sense if he did but he still didn't(no but what was really happening there????)

I can come up with some things. I'll do it, even if I end up looking at other works. Thank you for viewing my works regarding this couple ;v;)♥ I'm.. Glad to say they saved me some positivity left but that's not because the ending was good, it's because I already had it within me and the work didn't blow it out. I'll draw something about Aqua too this weekend because that boy deserves it. I have no idea why he couldn't just live unless he has to sacrifice his life to form a seal to kill his dad who can't normally be suppressed... Having him die... Really doesn't contribute to the story in any way the way I see it, I'd see if there's a point to it but I don't see it having any meaningful message with Ruby being how she is in the ending either. Her "growth" sort of.. Reverted back didn't it??;; so, it's better if Aqua just lives. Literally no one wanted it to happen. He himself wanted to live. What will become of his soul?? Tsukuyomi should take responsibility for having put him in that body and let him live a normal life!! He got caught up in other people's mess until the very end!

[bloomingstay]

favorite kpop group tag~ thank you @binniesbang!

who is your favorite kpop group?

stray kids, if that was any surprise

which member sparked your interest first?

hyunjin! i've almost always been pulled in by the dancer (lee know i know but) specifically the style of dance hyunjin excels in. the isolation is so satisfying and cool. for some reason choreo always gets a song stuck in my head??

But also!! I had heard they produced their own music and that really got me interested in kpop again

who was your first bias?

chris bang 🤍 went from zero to ult within no more than two days tbh…

what makes them your current bias?

oh god. um. i'll put this in the least embarrassing way possible. (this is a kpop tumblr blog I should probably get over it)

it was a particularly bad year. i stumbled upon their silly videos (thank you stay for the edits<3) and they made me laugh. then i started seeing clips of chans room and him interacting with the boys and just like... he's so wonderful. he's generous and kind and loving and thoughtful. just a shy lil guy who also happens to be a flirt and a fucking dork and it's cute man idk shut upp

who is your bias wrecker?

i was certain i'd never have one, i truly adore each of those boys so so much.

i was however proven wrong after a very sweet, silly compilation of binnie being ridiculous. followed by a face cam of his sclass performance in the supreme jersey?? and the curls?? he has such amazing stage presence and he's a great dancer. but he kept going from his cute sweet binnie expressions looking like he was just so into it and having fun, to the "dark rapper" eyes and commanding stage presence. and like, wow. 🖤 i am a sucker for that kind of duality.

which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/wrecker?

in another reality han is my wrecker. that boy is the epitome of what i used to look for in guys: babygirl. lol. well, and insanely talented and funny and everything. I adore him

after befriending a couple seungmin stans, i started looking for pics and clips to send them and found myself so incredibly impressed with him and touched by some of the things he's said and done. plus he’s a funny little shit.

hwang hyunjin is such a sweet boy. since we got producer jinnie on the last album i have been looking back and just so impressed with his growth 🤍

when did you first discover the group?

(Upon editing I realize I read this as ‘how’ but oh well)

okokok so

i was a kpop fan 2014-2017 and went all in. kcon and concerts the whole thing

but then i was just on my usual 6 hour yt shorts binge as i tried to fall asleep and saw skz reacting to the "your eyes" mv, specifically felix's part, obviously. i watched it like 12 times just cry laughing at han screaming, hyunjin trying to escape, channie hiding behind his hands and squealing. it was just so funny to see a group kind of clowning their own shit? i thought they were hilarious.

then i saw julien (solomita) had reacted to 'topline' and i was soooo into it. immediately went to watch some mvs and decided cool i'll be a totally normal casual fan of this group’s music….. :)

THEN a lovely lady i'd followed on my 10 year old tumblr account posted about skz. i messaged her that I’d finally decided to check them out and she was kind enough to answer questions and entertain my onslaught of messages as I screamed about how much I love these boys. and she still does everyday so. thank you hana 🌸

have you ever been to one of their concerts?

not yet~

what are some of your favorite songs by them?

THIS SECTION TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG. disclaimer: I absolutely could not include non ot8 this would’ve been 30 songs (I’m probably going to cheat)

Hall of fame. bitch ever since that live stage (which was the first time I’d heard it) I’ve listened to the sclass album 3 times a week no joke, goddamn it’s so good. so just know, i pulled almost every song from that album off this list when i made cuts

levanter. a hard pill to swallow mid relationship struggles and holds a lot of meaning for me.

secret secret. i can't get over how professional this song sounds and how it was just a few years in?

leave. where i got my username~ like I said, relationship stuff. You have not yet really bloomed When the new season comes I hope the warmth will make you bloom Into a flower that never dies

sclass. *bling bling* HIPHOPSTEP. such a fucking chaotic mess of a jam.

megaverse. the breakdown? MEGAPHONE. Han, bitch? We make the rules nobody can hold me yeaaahhh. Your body shakes - STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD. Sorry, flawless.

gods menu. ate, bitch. chan was something the fuck else

domino. neeed I say more

social path is bomb

grow up. read lyrics for the first time just now ow

eternity. told u I’d cheat.

love poem. big cheat my list worth it

I am going to be so mad when I realize I missed a song I listen to 7 times a day but been doin this for 2 hours so I’m calling it. Also forgive me I’m still working through the discography (backwards) and haven’t listened to the full first couple albums.

the adhd is allowing no further focus or thought so i will be tagging the same friends as my last tag post no pressure <3

@channieblossoms @skzms @roseykat @thefantasyden @seungsungracha @astraysis @channieswife

Thank you again @binniesbang for tagging me~!

[transmascpetewentz]

Intro + Basic Stuff

It has been 5 days since a transandrophobe has been horrifyingly disrespectful of a gay trans man who died of AIDS on one of my posts or in my inbox.

It has been 3 days since a cis gay man has whined about his genital preference in my notes and/or inbox when I didn't ask.

If you're here because someone accused me of being a TERF, please know that I am not. Read this for more details.

I can't think of a name to use on this blog so just refer to me either by my URL or a silly nickname. My BYF as well as a few blinkies are under the cut.

my pronouns are he/him, but any are fine if you're clearly using them to show that you respect me. they/them is generally okay as long as you aren't using them to dehumanize me.

i prefer gendered terms (boy, girl, enby) over neutral terms, but i will block you if you use "girl" in a misgendering sense. malewife and similar terms are fine. also, this is highly unlikely to come up, but please don't call me "queen."

i'm USAmerican, and when i'm talking about issues, i'm likely talking about USAmerica unless i indicate otherwise.

i'm currently having brainrot about: fall out boy, american idiot, red white and royal blue, fallout new vegas, and velvet goldmine (the 1998 film).

i also post untagged discourse on this blog, specifically talking about transmasc issues, trans liberation, queer liberation, and how to be normal about transmascs if you aren't one.

i'm also looking into converting to judaism, and as such i might post about conversion and judaism in general. filter #judaism if you don't want to see it.

i'm part of a system, so it might not always be the same person answering asks. i probably won't post about it mostly because i want to stay out of syscourse.

all original posts are #wentz.txt, asks are #asks. if i ever have photos of myself on here, they'll be #wentz.jpg.

this blog runs on a queue, so just because i post doesn't mean i've been online recently.

this is my alternate account. i have a main blog that i'm ignoring due to harassment. if you have me blocked on my main and try to follow me here, i'm blocking you for your own sake.

cis women are welcome to follow but don't touch any of my posts making fun of cis gay men or i will bite you.

blog rules:

no, i'm never sharing my age on here.

tag filtering: flashing, eyestrain, loud, violence cw, sexual assault cw, pedophilia cw, self harm cw, suicide cw, not worksafe, long post, anon hate, arguing with bigots, fascism cw.

please do not ask me about whether i am pro or anti ship, whether i support endogenic systems, or my views on intracommunity issues i'm not part of.

i'm autistic and as such might not understand if i'm making you uncomfortable. please either block me or DM me and tell me to stop doing something.

i won't reblog your callout post, reblog bait, guilt tripping, or donation post. an exception might be made for your donation post if we're mutuals.

if i don't block you, then i don't mind you following me. i don't softblock. please don't softblock me either, just block or else i'll refollow.

if i have reblogs enabled on a post, i'm fine with anyone reblogging it. if i have replies enabled, i'm fine with anyone replying.

if you're going to send anon hate, it has to be interesting, original, funny, and/or creative.

also, if you're going to send anon hate, please refrain from calling me slurs, sending me death threats, sexually harassing me, or misgendering me. also, please censor the name sh***a, or don't use the name at all in your ask.

i don't really have a dni, but i will block you if: you fetishize gay men or trans men, you support capitalism and/or cops, you glorify the actions of the ussr, you deny that transandrophobia exists, you think that feminine cis men are more oppressed than feminine trans men.

actually, i have to add a dni now: please dni if you falsely accuse gay men who died of aids of sexual assault. yes, someone like this tried to interact with me.

That should be it for now!

[stardust-3saders]

LiaTaro (mostly Jotaro focused) Headcanons!

I've been wanting to post some more bits of writing, more when it comes to the behavior of the poly and some personal headcanons I have.

Big thanks to my friend @magthemage for the help with these! I don't oftenly see people do it, but talking with someone who doesn't have a character (in this case Jotaro) as F/o helps a lot to brainstorm while staying away from it becoming oof XD

Anyway! Here they are! I don't think there's anything to tag as warning, just a bit of Jotaro's PTSD but nothing else, so dw!

Under the cut because they're kinda lengthy!

Tag list: @spookysinner45 @iceicewifey

Lemme know if you want to be added by answering this form! 💜

Let's put straight a fact that, sadly, a lot of people seem to forget: Intimacy is hard. Especially with characters that were written during the 80s boom of the hypermasculinity trope.

There are three distinct characteristics associated with the hypermasculine personality: the view of violence as manly, the perception of danger as exciting and sensational, and callous behavior toward women and a regard toward emotional displays as feminine.

Something quite fitting for Kujo Jotaro. And when it came to him joining Lia and Noriaki's relationship, this was a recurring issue.

Not having a healthy model that showed him the kind of affection it was normal to share with a partner since Sadao was rarely around, his personality and factors such as his PTSD after Egypt; things had a rough start.

Yet, something that we know defines Jotaro, is how he doesn't like the idea of giving up, even when it comes to something he isn't used to.

So in order to get to a healthy and understanding point in their relationship, Lia had to spend a lot of time, effort, and probably have an ulcer removed, to try to get Jotaro to a point where he's a bit more able to express his feelings without him feeling like he has failed himself.

It's not like Jotaro doesn't feel, but rather that he can't express things normally, or it would go against his core values.

⭐One of the first things that Lia managed to establish was a different way to communicate. Because saying "I love you" just made Jotaro feel weak and vulnerable, Lia proposed an alternative: for him to squeeze her hand twice. Same meaning, but without forcing him into an uncomfortable position.

It was like Jotaro had seen the moon for the first time in years.

What started with him trying that just before sleep, and with Lia answering in kind, turned to him grabbing Lia's hand and squeezing over the smallest things. As a compliment to a thank you, as a random gesture, or just her being close.

It had been a long evening. With Noriaki being not only the last to arrive home, but also having returned absolutely exhausted; the usual chores shared by the trio were left in charge of Lia and Jotaro.

Unlike their usual routine, this time there was a heavy–although not uncomfortable– silence between the pair.

Still, as efficient as always, anything left to clean and put away in the kitchen was soon finished.

Lazily, the couple walked towards their respective bedrooms (Kujo having one of his own to avoid stepping over his boundaries and keeping the steady process of him feeling more comfortable). However, as Lia finished bidding him goodnight with a yawn, she felt herself being stopped by a bigger hand grabbing onto hers.

“Jojo?” She looked up at him, her head tilted in confusion as she noticed how he tried to avoid her gaze.

Yet, before she could call out to him again, she felt his hand gently squeezing hers twice.

Being the first time he had used this way of showing affection, she couldn't stop her mouth from opening slightly in surprise.

Barely catching sight of blush on his face due to the lack of light, her face softened.

She squeezed his hand in return with a soft smile directed to the man, finally letting go and allowing each other to retreat to their rooms for the night.

⭐While Jotaro was incapable of outwardly expressing his affection with words, Lia noticed that he normally roamed towards silent actions, kind of expecting her to understand them.

Examples of this were when she normally complained that her children were being absolute brats and making the class more difficult to handle, Jotaro would just reply "わかった" (got it) and stop communication, only for Lia to arrive home with Jotaro having actually gone out of his way to purchase food from a local mom-and-pop shop on the way home.

While he normally doesn't expect to be thanked for it, every time Lia does, he simply turns around, pulls his cap down and mutter an "...うん", busying himself with anything else available nearby just so Lia doesn't catch him making a silly smile.

⭐We know that due to his PTSD, Jotaro has a hard time sleeping almost every night. He normally tosses and turns, and sometimes hits things in his sleep, another reason he normally waits for Lia and Noriaki to be asleep for him to move to his room.

But sometimes Lia finds him sitting in the middle of the night on the balcony, cigarette in hand, trying to calm his nerves.

And being aware of his silent nature, and how easily it is for him to instantly return to his shell; she simply sits next to him, waiting for him to show any sign of him wanting a physical interaction like touching her hand or thanking her for being there.

That's when she knows she can try to physically reassure him, with little things like caressing his back, leaning against him or even let him rest his head on her thighs, something he absolutely adores doing, but is ashamed to do when Nori is awake and around... or when anyone else can see him.

And if her touch doesn't feel enough, she'll even goof around a bit, just like the few times they actually talked in the past while alone. Not as annoying as she used to be, but still enough as to get his mind distracted from whatever is troubling him those nights.

January was never an easy month.

Despite bad memories being left in the past, the seasonal drop in mood always brought back a bad taste in everyone's mouth.

A taste of bile and blood.

Being well accustomed to the weight at her sides during the night, it wasn't strange for Lia to be woken up as soon as her mind noticed the empty spot on the bed.

It was a routine event at this point. The memories of that night affected Jotaro more than often to anyone. Because, while Noriaki had also been in a pretty bad situation that almost cost his life, the difference was that the redhead actually knew how to reach out for help. And after many years of therapy, he was able to ground himself better.

For Jotaro, on the other hand, it was as if any progress he had made through the years suddenly disappeared. He hid himself away from others, resorting to smoking, although it was a habit he had been trying to quit.

And having gone through the same situation quite a couple of times before, Lia knew exactly where to find him.

Quickly going to grab some water from the kitchen, she went to the balcony, finding Kujo seated on the floor of the balcony, lazily dangling a cigarette between his fingers as his leg anxiously bounced up and down.

Frowning as her gaze landed on him, she knocked softly on the door frame, letting him know about her arrival without startling him.

With the dim light that the moon provided him, she barely caught a glimpse of him looking at her by the corner of his eye. This, accompanied by the motion of his leg stopping, was enough to let her know that he was aware of her presence at his side.

In slow movements, she sat down at his side, leaving enough space between their bodies to avoid touching him before he felt comfortable and calm enough. She placed the glass in the space between them, a small smile forming on her lips as she saw him take it, slowly taking a sip from it before placing it back down.

The pair spent a few minutes in silence, bashing in the soft sounds of the night. Yet, Lia couldn’t help but to scrunch her nose as the smoke from his cigarette reached her and tickled her throat, threatening to make her cough.

Noticing this, the raven frowned, letting out a tired sigh as he put out the lit cigarette.

“You didn’t have to do that, y’know?” Lia frowned at him, removing a hand that she unconsciously had moved to cover her nose and mouth.

“You don’t like it”

She let out a sigh, hugging her legs against her chest and resting her head on her knees before directing her gaze towards him.

“It’s true that I don’t like it… and that I wish you used a healthier alternative to calm down. But I can’t force you to stop doing it.”

Jotaro raised a brow at her, incredulous of what she had said after she spent so many times reprimanding him for the smell of tobacco and the smoke.

“You still bitch about it” He said, his tone having a hint of playfulness rather than annoyance.

“It's not bitching, it's giving you advice!” she frowned as she heard him scoff lightly. “I mean it!”

She turned in place, her body fully facing him as she sat cross legged at his side.

“It's as if one day I arrived and told you and Nori that I'm gonna drop everything to become, I don't know… an idol. You cannot forbid me from doing it, but you can give me advice about how bad of an idea that is.”

He looked at Lia for a few seconds, his brow still raised as he processed her words, before letting out a sigh as he crossed his arms, looking back to the city.

“Yeah, because you suck at singing”

Lia could only frown at his words, a small pout forming on her lips as she glared at him.

“I'm going to take that as you understanding my point rather than trying to attack me”

She turned back to her original sitting position, lightly and playfully bumping into him as she leaned against his arm.

Still, a small smile formed on her lips as she heard the faintest chuckle coming from him, noticing how he seemed more relaxed than when she arrived.

She looked up at him for a moment, making Jotaro look down at her as he felt Lia's gaze on him, a questioning look on his face.

“We’re not going anywhere, and you're not going to end up alone. Please keep that in mind.”

Just as Lia finished speaking, she noticed a glimpse of something in his eyes. A mix of surprise and something else…

Yet, before she could even mention it, her sight went black, and soon enough she noticed his cap somehow on her head, blocking her view.

“When did you even-?”

“Shut up”

Ah, that tone. For someone random, it would sound like the same monotonous tone he always had, but she could easily distinguish the light embarrassment it hid under.

She couldn't help but to chuckle, shaking her head in amusement as she leaned further into him, deciding to give him some peace of mind and keep quiet, at least for that night.

She would make sure of teasing him enough once the next day arrived, though.

[edensflaw]

What Sleep Token Has Done for My Heartbreak

I am a relatively new listener of Sleep Token, only have listened to them since August of 2023. But man, when I tell you I have fallen deep and hard for this band, I mean it. I have joined subreddits and discords, I follow tags on tumblr, and so so many instagram accounts. They're music feels so deeply personal to me. The lyrics feel like they fell out of my heart with the emotion that emits from them.

August of 2023 is also when I experienced a very traumatic separation from my now ex-spouse. They confessed to multiple acts of infidelity after trying to work through an emotional/romantic affair they were having at the time. To say I felt betrayed is an understatement. We had been together for 16 years. All of my young adulthood I was with this one person. Unsurprisingly, I fell into a heavy depression.

At first, I discovered Bad Omens. My anger was raw and all encompassing, and Bad Omens seemed to capture that so perfectly. I listened to them non-stop for a long time.

And then I came across Sleep Token thanks to Tiktok. I had listened to them earlier that same year - just once, a few songs - and I remember just feeling sort of indifferent towards them. I honestly think my heart wasn't ready to hear or feel what they were saying. I knew the pain they sang of, but I was still in deep denial about my own relationship and the pain my partner was causing me.

When I listened to them again post-separation - it started with Granite. And the lyric that hooked me - line and sinker: "If you had a problem / Then you should've told me / Before you started getting all aggressive and controlling". At so many points in my relationship I was not being told things and that led to a lot of aggression. Naturally, i tried to control things because that’s a normal human thing to do when you sense that something is changing in a way you never wanted. Like when a stack of dishes starts to fall and you, rather uselessly, put your hands out to try to catch them, stop them from breaking. Ultimately your action is useless, the dishes still break despite your efforts. And it wasn’t even a conscious effort, just a reaction. And from that point on I feel deeper and deeper into my love of Sleep Token.

The next song I remember hitting me hard is Aqua Regia. “Oh, when I am done dancing to alarm bells/No wonder my ears are still ringing/And I am done fighting off change/No wonder my arms are still swinging”. Early into our separation, when my emotions were still very much raw I would find myself still fighting with my ex in my head - talking to myself and continuing fights we would have repeatedly. Alarm bells were still very much ringing in my head and even though the fighting had stopped between the two of us, I, myself, would find myself still arguing thin air. 

In a moment in my life where I felt very much isolated and alone and removed from everything that had ever felt familiar, it felt so reassuring to know somebody, somewhere, felt what I was feeling. I felt seen. I felt heard. Especially coming from such a toxic relationship where I was not feeling heard or seen by my partner. 

There are a lot of Sleep Token songs that seem an obvious choice when it comes to heartbreak. Missing Limbs is one of those songs. 'Cause it still makes my blood run cold/To remember what I did before’ The person I became in such a toxic environment is not someone to be proud of. I’ve talked in therapy a lot about how I struggle with being the person I thought I was when I know I’m capable of such horrible things. The environment really does make the person. ‘The stories that you never told to me’ A lot of our fights were about their lying and their secrets. How I would beg them to just talk to me and how much they would absolutely just shut down and shut me out. ‘And it still makes my blood run thin/To remember what you are to him/And I live like I've got missing limbs/For you’ And to remember what their affair partner means to them - it makes my heart drop into my stomach and my stomach drop into my gut; it makes my blood boil and brain go from zero to sixty. And yet, even with all the knowledge I have now of just how much my ex betrayed me - it very much feels like I’m missing a part of my physical body without them in my life. I have achieved a level of peace I haven’t felt in a while and I am proud of myself for getting to this point, but even with all of that something feels like it’s missing. Like a lizard discarding its tail. 

I could probably go through every Sleep Token song and break down how each word relates back to me and what I was feeling. Blood Sport, Dark Signs, DYWTYLM, the Love You Want, etc. There’s very much a theme of eating, consuming, biting flesh, etc. in Sleep Token’s lyrics. I would’ve crawled inside my partner if it meant that we wouldn’t be separated. I would have consumed them. I let my love for them consume me, mind and body. I let them consume me. I trusted them so much I bared my stomach, the most delicate parts of me, and they tore into them like a wolf that hadn’t eaten in weeks, all the while telling me they weren’t. 

The emotions Vessel presents when singing, it feels like such a dichotomy within himself. There is such a longing, a yearning, for what was, what is comfortable, the love he knows he could get if he made the right (or wrong) sacrifices. The yearning is a literal pain and that pain is often mistaken for love, but for the wrong reasons. 

Then there’s those moments where the fog clears he realizes just how much Sleep has wronged him, used him and that makes him so angry, and rightfully so. There’s such a quiet rage that’s just bubbling beneath the surface. And when that rage comes out there’s almost a sort of regret that comes along with that. A regret for the relationship itself yes, but also regret for the way he acted while with Sleep, and regret for the anger he feels. Vessel's relationship with Sleep feels very familiar to me and my ex. 

There was a post recently by melit0n about the song Jaws. In the tags of my reblog of that post I put "And if my love doesn't love me anymore I know Vessel is capable of love and maybe that means someone can love me like that too".

But it's more than that. I loved it like Vessel does/did. I gave so much of myself to someone that didn't deserve it and was ultimately so toxic and bad for me, much like Vessel's and Sleep's relationship. Sleep is narcissistic and toxic and is only using Vessel as a means for their own selfish ends. And I very much feel like that's how my relationship ended even if that's not how it started.

Vessel's lyrics feel so deeply personal to me because I've lived them. I've lived that feeling of being so consumed by love for another being that I was willing to let it destroy me, body and soul. Vessel knows the pain and struggle I feel: that feeling of longing and yearning for something you know is no good for you and at the same time the anger expressed because how dare they use me?! 

This was a very long winded explanation and I’m sure half of it doesn’t even make sense. I’ve been thinking for a long time about putting down into words what this band and their music has done for me during these months of navigating this heartbreak and putting my life back together. They’ve been such an important part of it and even if I never get the opportunity to express what they mean to me to them directly, if you’ve read this far into this already long post at least someone else maybe gets it. 

Thanks for reading, friend. Because yes, if you’ve read this far and this deep into my life, we are friends now. 

[arc-77]

// I am HOPELESSLY addicted to Fallout 4 at the moment so my muse/motivation/time to write has dwindled, so apologies for the lateness on my many replies, it is what it is, etc. etc. Feel free to hit me up on/for my Discord, I've been prioritizing there.

However this has given me a lot of thoughts about how Fordo would act as an in-game companion, so if any of you have Fallout muses that could use a power-armored space man, hit me up. Some ramblings below the cut.

Fordo is still the same post-Jakku Star Wars Fordo from the rest of my verses, but his ship has had its Hyperdrive disabled by the Zetans, so he's scouring the American wastelands for more aliens for technology with which he can use to fix it.

His black armor is easily mistakable for something the Enclave might wear and it can potentially get him and the player into some trouble, which you will need to talk down. He never takes off his helmet and you can't get him out of the armor. His default ranged weapon is a tri-beam laser rifle and his melee weapon is part of a vertibird's rotor blade, but you can give him different weapons. When sneaking, he activates a powerful stealth-field that also muffles the sound of his heavy footsteps.

In Fallout 4 his affinity reactions are somewhat outside the norm of the other companions. He loves when you modify weapons or armor and likes when you use power armor. Likes hacking. Likes combat. Has no reaction to stealing, pickpocketing, lockpicking, or murder. Doesn't mind you using alcohol or chems, but dislikes when you get addicted. HATES cannibalism. He also likes when you use or give him explosives/heavy weapons, like the Fat Man or Gatling Laser.

He likes if you join the Institute, because they're advanced enough to possibly help him. He dislikes if you destroy them, because that's a lot of useful science lost. He likes if you join the Brotherhood of Steel, but funnily enough also likes if you destroy or attack them. He has no opinions on the other factions aside from the raiders, whom he doesn't like when you help. Those are the sadists we don't get in trouble for killing, c'mon. He loves doing the USS Constitution quest because he thinks it's absurd and you get a cannon.

Given how durable his armor is, he's essentially impossible to knock down through normal combat. Having him around trivializes combat since he's a tank that enemies may prioritize over the player. In order to get him as a companion in the first place, there's a long-ish quest where you help him take over and repair a satellite array over several visits in order to lure in some aliens to fight. Once you've proven yourself competent in this regard, he'll tag along and help you in return.

[xthelastknownsurvivorx]

Not-WIP Wednesday

Thanks for the tags @14carrotghoul and @adreamareads!

I'm following several other writers in sharing a snippet from a fic I just posted yesterday in lieu of something new since this has been what I've mostly been working on in between being sick and busy

So have more Alex and Liam from my Liam-centric fic that was written for the rwrb eras tour event, now titled doesn't he know (i've had him memorized for so long)

"So what, back to mid-term prep after a wild night?" Liam asks, probing for Alex's reaction. "All in a day's work for would-be valedictorian, or something like that." Alex rolls his eyes. "I wouldn't call it a 'wild night'. We got drunk alone in my room, not at some bar we snuck into." Liam blinks, still surprised in spite of himself. "Um, yeah," he manages, feeling off-kilter. "I guess it doesn't really qualify." So that answers that question, even if he did suspect as much. Well, it's probably for the best anyway. The whole reason Liam has never said anything or tried kissing him is because he's afraid of the consequences. This way, as long as Alex never remembers, nothing has to change. (Liam might still have to down the rest of the bottle of Maker's about it, though.) Alex nods. "Yeah, man, just a regular Saturday night. You and me, shooting the shit. Bitching about school, worrying about college..." he trails off, then adds, "maybe a little making out." "Uh," says Liam intelligently, because really, what else is he supposed to say to that? Their Saturday nights don't usually involve any mouth to mouth contact, regardless of Liam's fantasies, and he doesn't think doing something like kissing for an hour counts as "a little" of anything. But if Alex sees this as normal, there's no way Liam can be the one to make it awkward and ruin their friendship. He can't get through the rest of senior year without Alex, especially since most of the guys on the lacrosse team are closer to Alex than him. So eventually Liam forces out, "Just, uh, kissing the homies, right?" "Exactly," says Alex a little too quickly, relief flashing over his face before it's gone. "Doesn't mean anything, we're just confident in our sexualities. Not that being gay is a problem, of course. I'm just straight." "Right" Liam echoes, hollow. "Right."

Tagging @inexplicablymine @bidoofenergy @read-and-write- @gayrootvegetable and anyone else who wants to take the open tag

[echoofheartbeats]

I posted 31 times in 2022

That's 6 more posts than 2021!

3 posts created (10%)

28 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@radioactiveswampmonsters

@everythingeverywhereallatonce

@onereyofstarlight

@the-forest-of-talking-trees

@rhystheceo

I tagged 28 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#everything everywhere all at once - 8 posts

#euphoria - 4 posts

#cries in euphoria - 3 posts

#fleabag - 2 posts

#taylor swift - 2 posts

#midnights - 2 posts

#a beautifully foolish endeavor - 2 posts

#my post - 1 post

#i literally watched all of season 1 and two episodes of season 2 in one day - 1 post

#i mean 30 ish min episodes and a total of 12 - 1 post

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i took my time with this show and finished it on tuesday and then i spent most of thursday and some of friday and saturday binging it again

My Top Posts in 2022:

#3

See the full post

6 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#2

October 3rd, 2022

Briana and I went to Powell's on the first day of our trip. Being that Fairy Tale was just published September 6th, 2022 and it's by the Stephen King meant it was on ever end cap and right in front of our faces. With quite a bold rich blue color and a contrasting gold orange, it was easy for it to catch my attention. That day I could barely comprehend what the summary was, I didn't even really flip through the pages, I just knew I was intrigued. That day I did buy 3 other books, but couldn't keep my mind off Fairy Tale.

October 16th, 2022

Even though I tried to read my other books, I ended up buying the audiobook and started to listen. Seth Numrich's narration seriously blew me away.

It has felt really special to start something that feels truly like mine. A lot of what I consume are recs, from friends and family and the general internet. I always love it, but it's been thrilling to not have heard a single thing about this story and to truly have no idea where it would end up.

November 12th, 2022

I just completed Fairy Tale and I had a little cry and told a few people I finished it and decided to write this. I have a hardcover print version on the way. I'm excited to reread my favorite bits and look at the illustrations. I truly loved the world and characters that were created. Listening to a 24 hour audiobook sounded like a big task, especially since I'm not great at or consistent with reading at all, but somehow, Charlie's story swept me up and transported me. I can see how some may critique it for being long or slow or typical for a fairy tale, but that's what I found so charming about it. It was simple but complicated, it conveyed one's journey with themselves and others so well. To me it was full of twists and turns and was an ultimate escape. I also really feel like Fairy Tale connected me to so many things I love - stories that King intentionally referenced and not.

Somehow after the fact, I'm thinking about the bravery and courage of Harry Potter fighting the snake-like Voldemort, Charlie versus the Flight Killer. Radar had a Winn-Dixie feeling to her (or really name any important hound in film). A dog that touched the hearts of many. The Empisarians/the gray people's melted deformed features kind of reminded me of the horrors of Coraline. I expected King would get even darker or scarier but that's super okay it didn't go there. Even simply his name being Charlie, reminded me of Charlie in the Chocolate Factory- it's truly a name I've loved all my life. Giants and mermaids, animals that were too large and a cranky old man with secrets. Another world that you travel into thru a fairly normal appearance on the Earth side reminded me of Narnia.

Fairy Tale by Stephen King connected me back to the fantasy and wonder I've been needing again and for that, I say thank you and I highly recommend my new favorite book to anyone who is ready for an adventure of good and evil.

<3

Also keeping my eyes peeled for the movie that is already being talked about being produced!

This girl is feeling super sappy and mourning the end of Fairy Tale but also so happy that I was able to experience it and happy that I get to keep experiencing it in the future.

7 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Me when watching The Boys:

12 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[autisticandroids]

my fics

this post has gotten out of hand, so i'm putting most of it under a cut. also, since this is my pinned, i'll link some other stuff:

[my fic rec post] [my amv rec post] [my amv tag]

alright. my spn fics. listed in increasing order of wordcount.

enjoying it, .5k: A little piece of an AU I've discussed on Tumblr (linked in the note). Linda has recently sold her soul. Meg has recently gotten hers back. They chat about it.

meg/linda tran. sure you could say that i'm mashing dolls together but you could also say that in my mind season nine is a beautiful land where the main characters of the show are cas, linda, meg, and kevin and making meg and linda kiss is just clearly the next step.

a family vignette, .5k: A couple of scenes from the bunker, starring the last men on earth.

man it must have been pretty bad in the bunker during 15x19 huh. like pretty awful. and miserable.

latch, .5k: A miracle happens. Dean feeds Cas.

hello destiel breastfeeding community.

voyeur, 1k: Dean watches his other self talk to Cas.

i feel like endverse fic is a right of passage, isn't it? this is one of only two three four i guess now five fics on this list which makes no mention of godstiel.

to act with intention, 1k: The family Winchester on the road back to the Bunker after Cas kills Billie, and more importantly, after Mary makes certain revelations about Cas' state. A rather unpleasant car ride for all concerned.

#mpregpocalypse, etc.

stability, 1k: Sam has noticed that Cas' feelings toward Dean may be more than purely platonic. He is concerned about the stability of his family.

a short little fic where i make the dynamics among tfw worse.

getting serious, 1k: A small vignette of family life in the bunker, and the difficulties therein. Dean pays no attention to Sam's escape attempt.

established destiel. sam and dean have a horrible little conversation.

no longer your brother, 1k: Michael and Lucifer pose a threat to His reign, though a small one. God pays them a visit.

OLD-ass godstiel fic from when i was like. sixteen. my interests have not changed at all.

cold storage, 1k: Crowley discovers something fascinating about Cas.

a little bit of lighthearted crowstiel fuckbuddies.

yeah, well, i don't want to, 1k: He didn't do it on purpose.

a little brothers-centric deanfic for the pilot. dean is very normal.

the follower, 1k: The world is being restructured. Dean can't stop it. He has a long conversation with someone instead.

an unpleasant and uncomfortable conversation between dean and godstiel. dean tries to make it sexual in order to make cas uncomfortable. it does not make cas uncomfortable.

squeeze, 1k: Soft, sweet Destiel sex. They're still getting used to each other. That's it.

destiel fluff. dean is so lovely when he's neurotic.

just gimme daddy's blunt instrument, 1k: Dean points a gun at Cas.

godstiel gunfellatio fic. they don't fuck in this but they do.

dog pit., 1k: Meg. And bodies. And guts.

meg fetishism.

damage control for a walking corpse, 1k: Meg escapes Crowley's dungeon, at least for a little while. She prays.

meg character study featuring faith, lucifer, masochism, and megstiel.

debug., 1k: Dean gets his crew to steal him an angel.

written for @au-roulette, an experimental cyberpunk au fic.

hunger, 1k: Endverse Cas talks about what it was like to have Dean inside him.

november fifth fic 2022. despite being technically an endverse fic, focuses on cas saving dean from hell.

eros and thanatos, 1k: Cas enjoys himself immensely, and then he doesn't. Dean can't find out.

my entry for @deancas-stabfest! casturbation feat. cas triggering himself and throwing up after.

soft and squishy, 2k: Dean shoots Cas. He processes that.

extra extra come get your hell trauma! come get your fluffy gore porn! written for @destielvalentinesexchange

the beautiful people, 2k: Dean and what it's like to be wanted.

dean has a pretty bad relationship with sex and sexuality doesn't he.

dean winchester really needs to make some gay friends, 2k: There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

post canon fluff and humor, written and posted during the week of madness between 15x18 and 15x19. an exploration of a dean who is queer, but doesn't really understand how to be queer yet.

there is want., 2k: There is God. And there is a body. And there is want.

*sigh* more godstiel fic. this time with horrific and gratuitous gore. godstiel eats some copies of dean, to see if that will satisfy him. this one, the follower, and just gimme daddy's blunt instrument are a kind of triptych. they don't exist in the same continuity but they all follow the same themes: sex-without-sex between dean and godstiel, mixed with character and relationship exploration.

wink, 3k: Cassie deals with grieving her father, and has a little lesbian interlude.

my first piece for @spntoxicfemslashevent this year. hey have you guys heard about meg 1.0? have you heard about meg 1.0? what about cassie have you heard about cassie? have you heard about megcassie?

smorgasbord, 3k: An incident under the influence of Famine.

my bloody valentine fic (evil) (horny) (evil).

goldfish, 4k: Lisa Braeden opens the door for some strangers.

a study on cas in the aftermath of a slightly divergent moriah where jack did not die, through the lens of lisa braeden and her memory.

three card stud, 4k: A collection of script excerpts for a version of Season Six that goes a bit differently. Cas and Dean conspire. Lisa is oblivious, and they keep her that way. Dr. Freud always said nightmares were based on wishes, too.

finally! some deancaslisa infidelity. mindwipenatural (worse). live free or twi-hard (better). an experimental amv for a version of season six that doesn't exist.

i fold in half so easily, 5k: A study in learned helplessness, set in the Men of Letters Bunker. Cas clings hard to what he has, and doesn't think about what he doesn't.

this is my 15x18 anti-fix-it. my 15x18 make-it-worse. my magnum opus of the winchester family horror in late seasons, or at least cas' experience of it. established relationship destiel (derogatory). it's my favorite piece i've published in spn fandom, and maybe in any fandom. i put a lot into it and i hope you get a lot out of it.

circle, broken, 5k: A series of conversations and resolutions. Cas haunts the fringes of a new Heaven.

my piece for @spnangelbang! 5k of quiet cas angst and angel feelings, with a little bonus trueform stuff.

not him/not her/not me, 5k: Memory repeats itself: first as trauma, second as kink. Isn't that what Karl Marx said? Two pinned butterflies explore it together.

megstiel piece for @spnangelsanddemons-rb. what if you got brainwashed, huh? what if you were always getting brainwashed? what if your whole life was about getting brainwashed? brainwashed and remade?

he's gonna take my files, 6k: Dean goes to the Empty, where Cas is floating through his memories.

dean in the dean torture chamber. featuring guilt spirals, a deancaslisa threesome (arguably), stabbing, relitigation of the canon, and a cameo from the yellow-eyed demon.

so much smoke in a hall of mirrors, 6k: Humans kiss each other. Angels kill each other. Castiel distracts himself from the war he's losing.

doing angel politics, unconsensually watching dean rake leaves (and other things), working on his frustrations on the physical bodies available to him. it's season six and cas is having a terrible time. formerly known as the dean sex doll fic.

the real finale, 21k: Supernatural 15x19 and 15x20, as they should have been.

mainly the work of @beatsheetketch, but it is our shared brainchild. a lot softer and fluffier than either of our usual fair. our go at a finale rewrite.

[jellyfishloveletterghosts]

Minotaur Billy

@neonponders @tazeffect you both know why I tagged you.

This one's still really loose but because I'm easily swayed into sharing I will but I'll save the assassin one for later since I really only have the one scene in mind for that yet so it's in the baby baby thought stage. 

This all started with the idea of Steve coming around a corner in the labyrinth and just being awestruck by the light catching on Billys 's golden fur and his sun kissed shoulders as Billy kneels tending his tomatoes. Also that one statue and fanart of the dude (blanking on his name) riding the minotaur's dick. I mean that's definitely what is happening in those right? This isn't edited but neither is anything else I've posted lately.

There is a contest being held for Lady Robin's hand in marriage and Carol is more than pissed that only men are allowed to enter per the rules. So she has Steve who's been living with her and her family, her mother his patron since his own parents cast him out to enter in her place. Steve’s not exactly a fighter, rather an artist and musician but he’s also a suckered for love and he knows Carol and Robin do love one another. 

The contest is to enter the labyrinth and reach the center where some sword is and bring it back. The place is full of more creatures than just the minotaur but he’s definitely the most famous of the inhabitants having been thrown into it shortly after he was born. 

Billy’s been in the labyrinth as long as he can remember, he doesn't mind it really. Sure occasionally someone comes in and tries to kill him and he has to scare them off or kill them or some other creature of the labyrinth. He’s left in peace most of the time, tends the garden he's cultivated and teaches Max to protect herself after he found her at the age of three abandoned at the mouth of the labyrinth. Murry tried to eat her but was convinced to leave her be when Billy threatened to run him through with his horns. El is around a lot too but even Billy can't quite figure out what she is all he knows is she's something because normal humans can't move things with their minds and she knows too much. 

Steve bumbles his way through his first run ins, mostly with politeness and charm, Heather deciding not to drown him for coming upon her in her pool when he announces himself and offers her his cloak for her modesty. Joyce is going to kill him when she finds him towering over Will until she realizes he is helping him untangle his tail from throne vines and not hurting him. So on and so forth and Steve makes it further and further like this, the creatures he helps give him safe passage. 

Steve comes around a corner and finds Billy in all his glory only a thin toga protecting his modesty weeding his tomatoes. Unable to stop staring as he looks at this beautiful monster? Man? Steve isn't sure what term fits. Billy has the torso, shoulders and arms of a man but from the hips down and the neck up he has the features of a bull, a beautiful bull all golden fur and big swooping horns that look like they may have actually been carved, smooth and looking gilded as they gleam. 

It's not the first time today Steve’s felt fear at drawing a creature's attention as Billy turns and stands towering over him but it's the first time this particularity mix of fear, nerves and heat churn his belly as a flush creeps up his neck. "Those are some lovely tomatoes you've got there and what lovely golden fur." Steve tries, sword where it's been for all of today, in its sheath hanging at his hip. 

Steve’s beauty isn't lost on Billy but he has no time for humans other than Max, they all lead to trouble but as he hasn't raised his sword so Billy simply directs him. "Leave, you'll keep heading toward the center if you head that way and take your first left two right and then another left after that you have to figure it out yourself." Brushing past Steve with a weary look "Don't touch my fucking tomatoes pretty boy." Disappearing before Steve can even think to respond. 

Billy expects to never see him again, sure he'll be killed by the next inhabitant he runs into.  He puts the pretty boy out of his mind until he hears a familiar scream, Max's scream and Billy sets off, sure he's going to have to kill that man for daring to harm her. 

Steve hears a scream, it sounds young and feminin not anyone who should be involved in the contest and then he remembers the young creature he met earlier and wonders if someone is hurting one of them. No one's ever claimed Steve to be particularly smart and now is no different as instead of following the path he knows is going the right way he heads for the scream and the danger, unable to help himself. 

Steve finds another contestant, some man he vaguely remembers who had boasted about traveling a great distance in order to win, he holds no interest in Robin just the vast fortune marrying her ties him to. He’s got a young girl cornered, blade at her throat demanding direction. For the first time all day Steve removes his blade from its sheets as he yells "Leave her alone!" 

Billy is more than a little surprised to find the pretty boy from earlier standing between Max and an attacker protecting her. Before Billy intervenes the man manages to catch Steve in the leg turning the ground under his feet red as he collapses still keeping his body between Max and the man even as his leg gives out. "Billy!" It's Max's shout that spurs Billy to action as he uses his considerable strength to put the man down. 

Billy's fur is bloody as he turns to the wobbly man as Max runs out from behind him and flings herself at Billy. Steve watches them for a moment as he lowers his sword down using it to help him stand. "Don't suppose you'd be willing to give me directions again?" Steve asks with a weak but still charming smile. Passing out before Billy can come to a decision. 

"We'll what am I supposed to do with this?" 

"You have to bring him home and patch him up obviously." Max says with an eye roll. 

"Is that so?" 

"Yes he saved my life." Billy feels the comment like a jab, he should have been keeping an eye on her today, he knew from the ceremonial horn being blown that they would be having company. 

"If I must." Billy huffs like it's a terrible burden. 

Steve wakes up in a bed of soft hay and furs, his wound bound and the red head he remembers from earlier hovering over him. Billy is standoffish and awkward in the beginning despite being curious and a little in love with Steve's voice as he sings sonnets for Max and tells stories, complimenting her paintings and telling her how to makes some paints of her own instead or having to rely on the rarely dropped things that make their way into the labyrinth. 

Steve’s leg isn't bad. It's only a few days of rest he needs to be able to walk again, enough time for Billy and him to form a flirtation. He is a little disappointed the night Billy tells him "You can walk well enough now you should head to the center and claim the sword before someone else can claim your bride." Until he realizes that perhaps Billy’s reemerging standoffish mood has something to do with miscommunication. 

"I didn't come so I could marry Robin, I came in here because my best friend Carol and her are in love but the contest was specific only a man could enter. I should still go though, I don't want them to end up parted because I wasn't fast enough." 

"It'll be dark soon you should wait until morning." Billy says before continuing after a long moment of silence "perhaps you could come back after? bring them along if you want, no one here would condemn their love." 

"You'd let us come? You'd want me back? How long would you let me stay?" Steve asks, chewing his lip as he stares at Billy who's fidgeting with his left horn, thumb brushing up and down it in a way Steve has come to know means Billy is nervous. 

"I want you to stay as long as you wish." Billy says back, breath catching when Steve pushes into his space pushing Billy’s shoulders back until there's room to slide into his lap. His heart is beating so fast and loud Billy almost misses what Steve says next. 

"How long would you wish me to remain B?" 

Billy swallows hard tongue sliding out and licking over his lips, the fur brushing up onto them shorter than it is on the top of his head and falling down the back of his neck. "Always." 

This would be where that statue comes in, you know the one. Steve riding virgin minotaur Billy and making him cum buckets and buckets. Steve’s never been so full and Billy’s never experienced anything like this but it's not like he doesn't know about sex Murry for one won't stop over sharing what he and his mate Alexi get up to and Billy being the farmer he is knows better than to waste good seed. Steve’s already lost and then Billy goes and puts his thick tongue in his stretched hole, fur rubbing against his ass cheeks as Billy gets every drop out of him making Steve cum into his hand so he can make sure it doesn't get wasted either. 

In the morning Billy takes Steve all the way to the center and hands him a ball of thread that will help Steve find his way out and then back to Billy. He just hopes Steve was honest in his intentions to return. 

Three days and Billy’s in a mood Max wisely keeps out of his way when he's at his worst. He won't hurt her physically but his mean mouth can lead to them both hurting. Billy keeps wavering between sure Steve was killed by some other creature of the labyrinth and Steve being a liar who simply used Billy to get the girl of his dreams. 

Billy is in his garden picking tomatoes when a shadow falls over him "Those are some beautiful tomatoes but they've got nothing on you big guy." 

Steve is laughing, his own arms wrapping around Billy as he finds himself enveloped in a hug. 

"Wow Steve was not exaggerating, he is huge, if I didn't have you dear I might be tempted to find out just how huge." 

"Gross Carol." Robin deadpans rolling her eyes as Carol giggles. 

They all live happily ever after, though Max has some complaints because all of them are always boning and they are not quiet. Until she's older and suddenly they're the ones complaining insisting that despite technically being adults that Max and El are simply too young to be getting up to that sort of thing.