#man i really need to draw instead of keep doing this 🥲

[voidfanatic]

The new Solarballs episode is basically angst potential and I loved it, so mini rant (again).

Spoilers below:

Tw: Manipulation, mental health problems and implicit character death discussion

Uranus keeps being manipulated by X like people already have pointed out. Like, damn, he even talked about the "Caelus should be your name" thingy with the guy. (Also, wtf X, really? "The butt of the joke"? Be fr). Every time Uranus seems to doubt him, X immediately caters to his feelings in a very shady way if you ask me. And, as always, Uranus is too insecure to question the morality of literally doing the same thing that Jupiter did, only to get the "privilege" of being in Saturns orbit. Uranus is not thinking it trough, and X is taking advantage of that.

He straight up told him that he knew what he wanted: "recognition".

The Sun is also being pressured and kind of manipulated through guilt tripping... X is really playing chess with them.

Then there's Jupiter... Oh Jupiter. He was basically gone at that point. When the moons (and Neptune) found him he didn't want to hear them out AT ALL. He thought they weren't real. The time he was vanished wasn't even that long, but he was full of enough guilt, paranoia and shame that he just needed that extra push to absolutely break down. When he explained to the group what he did to try and compansate his mistakes, he genuinely thought it wasn't enough because he failed to save some of the early planets.

Some-of-them.

Like, the actual inner planets are *literally* alive thanks to him, something that the group tried to explain, but he still thought it wasn't enough. His mistakes still haunt him, specially now that he's alone. Jupiter doesn't have a "vendetta motivation" to keep himself sane like X did. He gave up on returning thanks to all the shame.

(The Solar System could collapse if he doesn't realize how important he is).

AND, I know the fandom loves them, THEIA IS FINALLY CANON GUYS. I just know that the rocky planets angst enthusiasts are going to love this one. Also, also, we can't forget that Jupiter tried to protect them (as he did with all other celestial bodys after the incident) and failed... Do with that as you wish.

[taegularities]

Omg the first scene w the door😭😭😭 how jk felt her presence just proves how strong their connection is, it was so sad seeing how bad oc needed closure even though she knew she couldn’t handle it

“If you’d stayed just a little longer, you would’ve realised that his heart beats in unison with yours. That he felt a glimpse of your presence straight from the hallway, too, opening without you even brushing the cold of the door.”

I’m crying😭😭😭

I feel like the jk kitchen scene where he reminisces how oc made his place feel like home and now it’s just a big empty reminder of what went between them like this line broke me💔 🤦🏾💔:

“His thoughts operate in a spinning circle, and its inevitable beginning and ending is always you.”

It’s so sad seeing oc’s mental health deteriorate so fast and this horrible hole she’s put herself in where’s she’s constantly thinking abt him and the messages. I feel like jk was always a man of actions rather than words, so even though he didn’t say much he always showed her how he felt, but bc they couldn’t see each other really bc of the pap, the text messages are all she really had to hold onto and him never replying to her knowing they couldn’t see each other for a while💔💔

Jk’s birthday😣😣 can’t believe they’re gonna have to spend it apart

I wonder if their friends know more abt jk than oc in the sense of how he deals w situations bc first oc mentioned that jimin told her to find distractions instead of dwelling on the situation and Eun says she doesn’t want to give unnecessary hope, but she knows jk loves her. Do they know (or just assume) that jk may just never try to open up fully to oc, so it’s better for her to grieve, move on, rather than just hope jk might come around and explain himself? Idk if I’m expressing myself right, but it just made me wonder

“But no suffering is endless.”

Eun is such a great friend I love her 🫂

Oc really portrays how it is to live in a toxic household for most people, minus the fashion designing business mogul🙄, but you can see how much she hates being in her house and how small her parents make her feel, but at the same time she doesn’t want to completely shut them out and cut contact bc she’s aware they’ve done much for her and doesn’t want to show that’s she’s not grateful for what they have

I have a strong feeling jks painting is going to convey his feelings abt oc or portray their relationship, but I wonder what it could be🤭 they have so many sentiments, I wonder what’d he paint to encapsulate their relationship

Zara is like the older sister Oc needs in her life omg I love her❤️❤️❤️ it’s really that tough love that can get ppl to open their eyes and really see. I wonder why oc has never seriously considered moving out of her parents house, I know she’s thought abt it, but she really had the means, and maybe the issue is a lot of her money is her parents money, but like Zara said, she can find a job somewhere small and nice and she’ll make her own income and not have to worry abt depending on them anymore.

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

“To which he shook his head, clicking his tongue before he said, “Nothing. I just like how easy it is to bring you joy.”

It has literally become my favorite jk quote ever omg my heart

“Inch by inch, he pushed into you, telling you, “Take whatever you want, angel. It’s yours

NVMMMM WE HAVE A STRONG CONTENDER

Also the whole situation of how yoongi broke his leg has me screaming 😭 he’s literally always in his phone honestly

But this🥲

“You don’t know when it happens, but at some point, immersing yourself in their talks becomes easier. You keep drawing dozens of little things on his cast, and he never complains”

Reminds me of when she doodled on jks arm🥲

It being so awkward between them really broke me bc I forget there could ever be a moment where they’re not head over heels in love💔

Hoseok was so charming in his scenes idk🤭 I’m kind of falling for him:

“His eyes are nearly squinted shut, tiny dimples near each corner of his rosy lips. He has a reputation of casting light through gloomy clouds, and right now, you can’t help but agree.”

Likeeeeee he really is the sunshine of this cloudy day…week…2 weeks

“Hoseok angles his head… and then says, “Just. I’ve been thinking of you a lot these days.””

STOPPPPPPPP WHY AM I GETTING BUTTERFLIES?!!?!! IM REALLY TEAM JK&OC I SWEAR😭 maybe he didn’t even mean it like that

“Eun, a never-faltering jokester, adds her two cents, cocking an eyebrow as she intrudes, “Or you were hiding something bigger.

Yeah

Of course she knows.

You just didn’t think she’d mention it. A serious conversation will explode between you when you’re alone with her again. For now, your clenched jaw and fiery glare must suffice.”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 WHAT DID I MISS

“You keep your smile on, but you feel it weaken. Hoseok is really trying. Wants to fix you, wants to be there… as he used to wish.”

🥲🥲🥲🥲 they really do share a past, I am eager to learn more

“I want you to be happy. You can’t be that with me.”

Jk is so sweet, but so dumb omg💔

“You sob into the kiss, and he breaks apart from you just briefly.

My heart is shattered and I don’t think it can be repaired. #rip⭐️

“He tells you, “Because I don’t belong to your world. My plans for the future, my life, none of it will ever be good enough for you or for your surroundings.”

Her parents words really stuck w him. I feel like it obviously affected him more than he wanted to let on that he genuinely thinks he’s not good enough for her, i remember when he used to tell everyone she’s way cooler than how the articles present her and she’s not like her family in anyway💔

I love jk but he really should’ve left her alone when she ran out😭😭 I mean I expected him to follow her, but the kiss. I feel like it did more damage than anything and will only cause an even bigger rift between them, then was there before

I wrote half of these at 3am while delirious so if they don’t make sense my apologies, but this was such a good read

I’m so sorry for the long review, but I really love this series and felt the need to document my feelings along the way

I really loved reading and can’t wait for what’s yet to come 🤭

-⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

STAR, MY BELOVED !!!! oh my god, this huge ass review? i don't know what i did to deserve you, but... *rips out heart* please take this, okay?

you're actually one of very few who mentioned the first scene! the way they felt each other's presence? do we really need further proof that they're actual soulmates? :( same goes for the kitchen scene. don't think anyone mentioned the feeling of emptiness in it, so i'm grateful that you talked about those details 🥺

and yeah.. tbh, i wrote oc' feelings thinking about my last relationship? and how it felt fighting my way through the break up. it's almost ridiculous how fast your mental health gives up on you and how every moment spent awake just... ugh, idk, is torture, kind of? which is what our baby is going through now. you're so right, he's definitely a man of actions, and the fact that she can't see or touch him anymore makes her more miserable. bc the ultimate proximity is gone...

jk's birthday !! oh my god, i'm so scared to get to this part bc 💔 a lot of little things are gonna happen and come together to Big Sadness. and the bit about their friends knowing more than they're saying? a very very interesting theory. i'm not gonna say much, but yes, definitely keep in mind that both friend groups are deeply intertwined (taeun/yoonmin...) 🤐

i love eun, too, we don't talk about her a lot, so yesss! 🥺

ahhh star, you've absolutely understood why she's not moving out yet. yes, she hates being there, but it's hard for her to leave everything behind after kind of being trained to follow her parents' footsteps? so breaking out of it is hard, but i hope she still does. toxic households aren't very yay 🥲

jk's painting... what could it be indeed ehehehe

and zara, i love her fr, bc i absolutely think as well that oc needs some tough love and someone to speak to her without sugarcoating anything. oc has definitely considered moving out! but didn't cos of the reasons stated above... but maybe something's finally gonna happen now :')

hahaha the favourite jk quotes 😭 AND YEAH YOONGI IS HAHAHA he's always on his phone so this was a little homage to it 🤣

you remembered her doodling on his arm? star, you really do have my heart 🥺

your reactions to hobi though 🤣 also.. you didn't miss anything 👀 maybe things still need to be revealed 👀 who knows 👀

the #rip⭐️ had me SCREAMING LMFAOOO you're so funny </3

so true, so true. her parents words stuck with him, which is a big reason for *gestures* all this. a big big reason for his stubbornness. and he still knows that she's not like her family, like.. he genuinely puts her on a pedestal and thinks super highly of her (you'll see in 7.5), but he just.. ugh he needs to open up more, that's it.

it's no issue at all that you wrote this at 3am, all your thoughts were probably still more coherent than mine in this very response, so don't worry at all 🥺 i'm just so fkn thankful that you reached out at all... i honestly do not take such a long and thoughtful review for granted, so :( i can't tell you how hard this made me smile.

thank you so much, star. i appreciate tf out of you, you don't even know 🤍

[zepskies]

It’s been six days, and the director is still angry and hasn’t forgiven her. Instead, he’s giving her the silent treatment, ignores her during morning meetings, and barely ever graces her with a glance. No matter what she tries, he constantly rejects her efforts to make amends. Losing their friendship breaks her heart into a thousand pieces. She never thought he’d do this to her, and sometimes she’s not sure she can fix it, considering how upset Dean seems to be.

JFC Dean!! Stop being such a fucking man child and talk to the woman you love! 😫😫

Okay, I'm calm. (Kinda. 🙃)

However, the director only snorts and then draws a mocking sneer. “I’m gonna make this real easy for you, sweetheart – for the future, just assume that I don’t need anything and that I don’t wanna see you, alright?”

Well if this didn't just cut me into a thousand tiny pieces. 🥲

Because of course, he misses her, and of course he's not going to admit to anything of how he really feels. It's a disease at this point with him. 😤 (Sorry, he's frustrating me to the nth degree here.)

Dean has no idea what he’s in for. Has he learned nothing? She’s the girl that will do anything – as he so kindly pointed out during the last morning meeting. But the director truly has no clue what he signed up for when he challenged her. She’ll show him what he’s missing, alright. She’s a goddamn fighter, fully ready to put some war paint on her rosy cheeks and wield a spear. 

Yesssss hit him with your best shot, hun!!

Cassie only sends her a raised look. “Girl, no offense, but don’t be so uptight,” she tells the actress and begins to massage the knots out of Elena’s tense shoulders while a lazy smile curves the stripper’s lush lips. “Relax… You need to loosen up a little.”

Omfggg a twist I def didn't see coming, but I love where this is going... 😂💕

And that "match" did not disappoint ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 -- it was hilarious to see Dean trying and failing to keep himself together lmfao.

But what a shift with Dean and Claire later...

On cue, the first tears start to prick Claire’s eyes and roll down her cheeks, her chest heaving with a heavy sob. God, he hates when they cry. Why do girls always have to do that? It’s so uncomfortable and, frankly, unfair. “I don’t know! Away from you!��� Dean wipes his palms on his denim-clad thighs and approaches her like a shy deer in the woods. “Okay, okay… just relax, alright? Calm down.” He watches as Claire takes a deep breath. He then moves to the small bathroom and grabs a first-aid kit.

Aww but Dean was so gentle with her in a way. He's been a dick of an absent father, but hopefully this is a wakeup call for him that he needs to get his priorities straight.

“You don’t think Y/N loves you?” Claire looks at him, but he doesn’t have the guts to hold her gaze when he replies. “No, I don’t, kid.” A beat of silence passes between them. “I understand. Sorry.” Claire nods and then places her hand atop his, squeezing it. “It’s gonna be alright, Dad.”

Ugh God, just tear out my heart right now, it's fine. 😭😭😭

Plastic Hearts – Part 19

Pairing: Director!Dean Winchester x Actress!Reader

Series Summary: Los Angeles, 1985. Y/N’s a young actress without any success, hopping from one failed audition to the next until one desperate mistake brings her to her breaking point. Dean Winchester, on the other hand, is a grade A asshole and washed-up director at the end of his career, known for his godawful slasher movies in the 70s and his love for blow, booze, and women. Lost in the toxic Hollywood life, their paths cross when one hopeless little wrestling show changes their trajectory.

Chapter Warnings: +18, language, crack, angst, sexism/feminism, light smut (masturbation m, pretend f/f, Cassie x reader), Dean’s parenting skills are… improving?

Word Count: 7.4k

A/N: As I mentioned, chapters in this batch are a bit longer, but there’s only 4 parts, so you’re getting 5 in 4, I guess 😅 This is actually one of my favorite parts in this batch! As much as there’s angst, there are many hilarious moments in this one 🤣 And yes, Dean’s still a major dick, but I’m really proud of Y/N in this part. Our girl truly is a warrior and gets back on her feet as quickly as she gets knocked down 🖤

<< 18 || Spotify Playlist || Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

19. Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Y/N chews on her bottom lip as she grimly observes the director’s office from her periphery, her back leaning against a concrete column in the gym. It’s the taping of the second episode, Alex and Meg currently delivering a harrowing match in the ring, but Y/N isn’t even dressed in her costume, just her plain old hoodie and mom jeans. “Why,” you may ask?

Oh, it’s because the asshole didn’t give her a match this week and cut her out of the lineup. Dick…

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