#man i didn't even do that shit please call me out for the ACTUAL bullshit i pulled if you're gonna compare me to a corpse 🙄

[ainecdote]

the thing about having been a bad person in the past is that the shame will stick around for much longer than you think. but also sometimes people write bad poetry about shit you DIDN'T do which is really funny.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Heroes of Olympus but when Jason returns to Camp Jupiter, he's pissed.

He doesn't cower at the sight of his camp but stands taller. A steelness in his eyes no one at Camp Half Blood has ever seen before.

But one those in Camp Jupiter know all to well.

"Twelth Leigion Fulminata, stand at attention."

He doesn't even need to raise his voice as every single Roman demigod stops what their doing to look at him.

The only thing on their faces is fear.

"Oh would you look at that, you do know how to follow orders." Says Jason, strolling forward and.

Two centurions scramble to get a seat for him, Jason sits down nodding in thanks and dismissing them.

"Does anyone care to explain, just what the fuck has been going on here in my absence?"

Octavian raises a hand and Jason snorts.

"Augur, why am I not suprised? The floor is yours."

Octavian nods, a grin on his face and began to explain what had occurred.

All the while Jason listens, his expression giving nothing away. When Octavian finished, Jason sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair.

"If there's one thing I can't tell you idiots off its for making my life boring. Your dismissed...actually one last thing Augur?"

Octavian paused, turning back around to face Jason. "Yes, sir?" Jason frowned "wipe that smug look off your face before I do it for you."

Octavian went pale, all traces off amusement gone from his face.

"Thank you. Your dismissed, get out of my sight." Octavian left without a second word.

"Jason"

"Praetor Ramirez-Arellano"

Reyna winced, and she wasn't the only one. Jason never called her by her title unless they were in the Senate.

He was hurt.

"Do tell me, has Augur Octavian missed anything in his explanation?" Reyna shook her head, for as pretentious as he was Octavian had spoken the truth.

Jason rose to his feet.

"Oh but he did, he neglected to mention that there were 3 Praetors standing before us. Now, unless the rules have changed their are only supposed to be 2."

Jason looked past Reyna, his gaze resting on Percy who waved awkwardly. "State your name."

Percy, feeling very much like he was intruding in on something answered him. "Percy Jackson."

Recognition flashed in Jason's gaze, and he softened momentarily. "Percy Jackson, son of Posideon? Formerly apart of this Camp?" He asked, gesturing to his orange Camp Half Blood top.

"Yup."

Jason nodded "apologises, Jackson. Your friends and I traveled here, you may wait in the Senate. I will release them to you momentarily." Percy grinned "thanks, erm... Sorry about all of this I really didn't know."

Jason held up a hand "that's quite alright, you are not at fault for this." Percy left and Jason's smile vanished.

"Tell me, when did the Senate allow for a new Praetor to be reinstated? And why someone so new? I'd get if it was due to an it emergency field promotion, but that wasn't the case."

He couldn't even look at her and it hurt.

"I thought you were dead, Jason.

Jason laughed, but there was no humour in it. It sent chills down everyone's spines.

"Really? Than please, show me the search parties, point me to the evidence you collected that bought you too such a conclusion. For that matter, where's my funeral pyre?"

Jason shook his head, anger and sadness in his eyes. "Don't bullshit me. You didn't think I was dead, you didn't even look. And frankly I don't think you cared too."

He looked Reyna in the eye. "You replaced me, with a Greek. I get shit for being named after a Greek hero, but none of you had a problem with this. You wanted to replace me, Reyna. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you."

He shook his head, turning his back on her.

"Jason, wait I-"

"We have several guests at our gate that we need to welcome. I've already had their weapons checked but you've proven how little you trust my authority so you might want to hurry up on that."

And with that he left to the Senate.

Jason swapped his outfit with Percy who apologised once again.

"Really man, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. My Leigion had been trying to get rid of me since the day I showed up. Unfortunately for them, I'm more valuable alive than dead." Explains Jason, Percy frowned.

"Well, fuck em." He grinned when Jason laughed in suprise. "You are definitely something else, Jackson." Percy grinned wider "see you're learning fast. I think we'll be good friends you and I."

Jason raised an eyebrow "you sure? Most of my friends stab me in the back." Percy nodded, a sincerity in his eyes that made Jason almost believe he wouldn't.

It felt too good to be true.

"Well, I'll just have to prove you wrong." Percy put a hand out "Percy Jackson, son of Posideon and former Praetor." Jason shook his hand. "Jason Grace, son of Jupiter and current Praetor."

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

[cherryblossomwriting]

Sales assistant Y/n x Sugar daddy! Harry

Summary: “Y/n is a sales assistant working at a men’s clothing store. When Harry visits the store, he can't take his eyes off you. You are ready to go out with him, but only on one condition…” 

PS: This is Part 1 of a series (Sales assistant Y/n x Harry)

W.C: 721

Note: Harry is not popular in this particular writing, but he is attractive and rich

Also, this writing has not been proofread so please ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes!

Tags: Sugar daddy? Harry x sales assistant reader, Fluff

Y/N pov: 

It was an understatement to say that you were exhausted. The new job at the men’s clothing store has been draining to say the least. It was your second week here and you already felt like quitting. The workload doesn't seem worth the £13 an hour you make, but you had to pay your college fees and rent. The company said you would earn a 10% commission for every sale you made, which seemed enticing when you were applying for the job, but when you joined the job you realised how difficult it really is to make sales. 

It was already 9pm and the only sales assistant in the store, you still had an hour of your shift left. You decided to start putting all the clothes in the hanger so you wouldn't have to do it later on. You heard the door of the store open, when your eyes landed on one of the most handsome man you have ever seen in your life. His emerald green eyes were piercing into yours. “How can I help you today?” you asked him. He replied with a raspy and deep voice, “I was looking for formal suits, do you have them by any chance?” “Yes, sure, I will show you the collection we have,” you retorted. You showed him the collection of suits the store had. “What's your name?” he asked. You shyly replied, “Y/n” “What a beautiful name, I am Harry by the way” he said. 

Harry’s pov: 

She looks like an angel fallen from heaven. Her curly, long, golden hair touching her shoulders. The curves of her waist and hips in perfect proportion. You just couldn't take your eyes off her. “Excuse me sir? Sir?” her voice breaking your train of thoughts. “Shit was I staring at her for too long?” He thought to himself. “Here I think this suit will go perfectly with your complexion, sir,” she says. “Fuck, why does she have to call me sir,” he thought to himself, feeling his cock stir in his pants. His underwear suddenly seemed too tight. 

Narrator pov:

After about 45 mins of going through different types of suits, Harry shortlisted his top 5. Since he was the CEO of one of the top companies in London, he needed suits every now and then for events he was invited to. Although he would never buy clothes from a random shop on the street, he urgently needed a suit and getting it especially tailored from his designer seemed impossible. However, after seeing the beautiful sales assistant buying suits from this shop didn't seem like a bad idea. 

Harry’s pov: 

He knew he wasn't the type to fall in love at first sight. He found all that bullshit to be distracting. That's why he has never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a month because he didn't have the time to invest in a relationship. His work has always been his top priority. However, after seeing y/n’s innocent smile he couldn't help but get infatuated with her. He has never felt like this before. He knew he had to make a move. But what about his work and “I don't believe in love bullshit?” “Fuck it,” he said to himself. “Y/n, do you mind giving me your number, I would love to take you out on a date?” he boldly asked

Y/n’s pov: 

She wasn't sure if she actually heard what she just heard. Did this handsome man just ask her for her number? But she wasn't going to give it to him so easily. So she decided to challenge him. “I will, if you buy the entire store.” She knew no one had the money to buy the entire store, and even if they did they definitely wouldn't buy it to get HER number. I mean she was just a regular sales assistant. She gasped when she heard him say, “As you wish, love.” Was he actually gonna buy the entire store? It would cost him millions. She couldn't believe her ears at the moment. The commission she would get on this sale, would fund her entire college tuition fees and rent for at least a year. 

“So, will you go on a date with me now?” he asked

“Umm… Yes” she murmured. 

(please do let me know your thoughts in the comments. I know it's not the best, but it is my first writing ever. Also, if you have any requests please let me know:))

Lots of love

xoxo

[whysojiminimnida]

Remember When I Said Taehyung Might Not Be As Gay As We Thought?

Don't judge a man by his milfy wardrobe, he looks goooood.

It was... awhile ago. Maybe as far back as 2021 although I do not feel like link-searching it. It's in the archives if I didn't kill it.

Granted, there was a lot going on, then. There's still a lot going on and until now I had no desire to ever - EVER - return to this hellsite. Because Taekookers are fucking weird, yo. And some of y'all got a lil bit up in my shit too as I (fuzzily) recall. Which: it's whatever. I'm extremely unsocial, don't even answer my own DMs. And it's not personal, so I get it. I don't need or want to defend myself, but I will protect people I care about. With my absence, if necessary.

OT: I also totally kicked the big C while I've been out so that was nice. Yoongi the cat is pleased that his noms will continue uninterrupted. I will be in wigs for at least another year. It's all good. Oh LOOK at what we have here. Don't come at me for publishing this, I will explain.

I got it from actual media days ago, okay, and also: there was no expectation of real privacy. Keep reading. Or don't, I'm not telling you what to do.

ANYWAY. I had to come back, mainly to say TAENNIE IS REAL I TOLD Y'ALL IDK WHY NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ME BUT HERE WE ARE. I'm gloating. Honestly, it's so rude, I'd apologize if I cared. But I am rude and snorfling into my cheerios about this. Tae just made me so damn happy, is all.

LET THE MAN BE BI OR HETEROFLEXIBLE OR EVEN STRAIGHT IDC. Jennie clearly makes him happy. Look at his "I'm going to Paris to see my girlfriend" face!

And in that very specific jewelry look, no less. Foundrae. Again. Still. Hm.

Here's what I can tell you based on my limited third hand no sources no receipts this is probably utter bullshit usual disclaimer: It's a soft open, kids. This whole "oopsie we just so happened to get caught taking a lil walk in public with our managers in tow during which date at least one of us signed several autographs, what a surprise" is in fact a soft open for what will likely be a public confirmation PRETTY DAMN SOON. It might happen before I get this thing published, actually, depending on when I get it up. If it's before May 22 at noon my time, no idea. If after, well. Guess we'll see. Jennie's supposed to show up at the screening of HBO's The Idol that day, screening at the Grand Lumiere at 10:30 CEST. One wonders if she will arrive alone, or bring a plus one. It's a big ask, and if he does it they're probably getting married, that's how big a deal it would be. So I'm not holding my breath, but.

This seems like a reasonable prospect for a plus-one viewing. Might not be the only one but... Jennie's IN IT so.

I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN. I think it would be a fucking POWER move if it did, but I also do not necessarily expect that it will. It COULD. It... MIGHT. It might not. Either way they're a thing, I'm telling you. They are, have been, a thing. For awhile. And it is apparently quite serious - like up to and including talk of engagement serious.

Remember when a bunch of folk thought that one gummy bear dude was going to jail for "hacking" Jennie's phone only there's been no actual movement on any "investigation"? Yeah. Trickle truthing, they call it. Give 'em a little bit, let them deny it and yell and chew on it for awhile before you give 'em a little more. But c'mon, nobody's wearing half the love-themed couple pieces at Foundrae for no damn reason.

Seriously they got the whole collection almost and both have been seen wearing them almost exclusively. For a year.See airport pic above.

Look, I don't have inside info on Taehyung. I do not. I ain't hang with his friends and I don't know him personally. Never met the guy. But I know a PR move when I see one and this is exactly that.

We all know how toxic stan culture can be. Some ToadlicKKers (and a few of us house elves) are certifiably bonkers, if stan twitter is anything to go by. And the guys, the company, they expect a whole meltdown. They know this is not gonna make half their fans happy. I mean the tkkers have a point in that it looks like they wanted to be seen. BECAUSE IT'S A SOFT OPEN. What Taejen/Taennie/Jenhyung and the companies also know is that based on historic shipper behavior, this is gonna come back on Jimin, Jungkook, maybe Rose' and Lisa. And by extension, the other members. Maybe not as much due to their respective distance, but still. I bet by the time I finish this it will have already started.

Oh look there it is. Fuck those bitches, really.

Good LORDT. I'm not adding the audio, if y'all are that hungry for psycho hose beast Jimin hate hie thee to stan twt.

But, totally off-topic kinda...

... wouldn't it be cool if Jennie, who speaks great English, was hanging out with Troye Sivan and was like "so you know my boyfriend tells me that his bffs..." I'M JUST SAYING NETWORKING IS COOL AND FRIENDS OF FRIENDS GET THINGS DONE OKAY.

You know that girl has the scoop. If Tae knows it, she knows it. Oh heeeeyyy Troye.

Also OT: I love that Taekook have been hanging out a little more lately. It's refreshing. I genuinely think having Jennie in his life has been good for Tae in several ways. And you know, I'm kinda surprised Taennie has lasted this long. I didn't honestly think they would. It warms my decrepit, sad old heart a bit. Turns out I have a lot more to say so IDK IDK, if I feel okay about it I might be back. Right now I'm just waiting for the official Taennie nod and the continued total meltdown.

[icarusredwings]

Why the fuck did I even write this. WHEN did I write this? #cleaningoutmyqueue

Carly at 4 am:

Thinking about one night, Logan waking up to Wade cross-legged, rocking back and forth as he's patting Evelyn.

"Shhh.. shh, it's alright.. you're okay, baby girl."

Immediately, he wants to just go back to bed because it is too early to deal with this bullshit though he sighs heavily and asks anyway.

"What's wrong with the baby?"

"Shhh.. shhh.. she won't stop crying. Can't you hear her?"

"Oh..." He realizes that there's tears running down his face. He's rocking, patting, and patting more, as if desperately trying to soothe her though Logan knew self consciously he was only trying to soothe himself from something.

Call it what you will, but they have come a long way from other destructive ways to self harm then rocking a baby doll. And if Wade wanted to rock his baby then so be it. But it didn't actually look like he *wanted* too rather then was struggling to let go of her. Struggling to put her down.

Ever since he had that damned dream that there was a universe where he had a daughter, his whole train of thought changed completely, now playing papa to cope. Cope with loss that he didn't even know he had, cope with the idea of 'holy shit this is so easy and yet my parents couldn't do it properly... they mustn't have loved me enough'. To cope with the fact that despite having all these kids in class- They would never be his.

Sure, he's snatched up Laura and Gabby faster then Logan even mentioned being their step father, but it wasn't the same. He had the same dream over and over again about a baby girl. HIS baby girl.

Now here he was, half asleep, patting on auto pilot, and crying because his silent babydoll was sobbing in his head, a dream lingering into reality.

"Shhh... shh.. Evelyn please.. go to sleep for papa.. im sorry.. I know.. It'll be okay. You have wolvie. He's kinda like a mama?" He whispers to the toy, whose batteries were taking out ages ago because of an actual cry button that would randomly go off, sending Wade into even worse frenzies.

Recently 'Evelyn' has been having issues on not having a mom and it almost felt.. real.. the way he described her pain. As if the other universe was dipping into theirs. It kind of concerned Logan just how dearly he took care of this doll, carrying around for hours and once even brought her to work.

He'd wrap her up and carry her, bounce her infront of the chalk board, show coworkers his baby, most being extremely puzzled as who let Wade adopt a baby- only to realize that she wasn't a real baby at all. Few, such as Yukio, Rouge, Kurt, and Jean held or bounced the baby as if it were an actual baby.

Rouge at first took her without even realizing, but saw how happy it made Wade and continued, Yukio ofc took her and was extra gentle, Kurt, who was used to sunday school kids handing him random stuffies and babys autimatically began to bounce her. Meanwhile Jean knew it was a doll and took it anyway, complimenting Wade on how beautiful his baby was. "Isn't she!?" He said to her and she smiled.

Later she had said to Logan something about how the baby was improving his mental state- Not alot- but enough to keep him in the 'Sane' category for awhile. She also mentioned how when Rachel was born she would let Wade hold her, despite Logan telling her that was a terrible idea, afraid of what might happen. No, Wade would never hurt a baby on purpose but he was terrified of Wade trying to take someone else's kid or being a bit too rough.

He already saw him drop evelyn twice- and she was hard plastic. He didn't want to imagine what would happen if she hadn't been.

Honestly? It was heart breaking to watch. To see the man he loved so desperate for a child of his own though both agreeing that he wasn't in the right mental state for a baby and probably never would be. He was good with older kids. 5 and up, but new borns and toddlers needed more work then just playing, feeding them once in a while and carrying them around.

The best thing about Evelyn is that he couldn't forget to feed her because she didn't actually need to eat. She couldn't get be kidnapped and held hostage or even killed by people who really didn't like him. She couldn't get hurt if Logan accidentally stabbed her in his sleep.

But sometimes, this play wasn't enough. Sometimes, something in his head just wouldn't let him put her down, wouldn't let 'her' stop crying.

With a pop of his back, Logan sat up with a groan. "Give her here." He put his arms out for his daughter, hard plastic or not. If Wade thought she was theirs, then she was. Oh, well. It's not like it hurt much. If anything, she's helped greatly with his nightmares. This being said, the ones about her though were worse, but Logan would trade one bad dream a week for every night.

Wade gave him the baby, hesitant as Logan started patting. "Shut up little one. Your dads got work in the morning." He muttered to the doll, though Wade looked nervous. "Y-you're not patting her right, and you have to have your hand up-"

"Aye! I can pat her how ever I want. Huh? You like when I pat you?" In reality these questions were more towards Wade, trying to find the correct responses.

"She's still crying. You're being too rough!"

"What? Im patting the exact same way you were."

"Nu uh, that's too hard. You're gonna hurt her!"

Deep down, Logan knew this fear only stemmed from Wade himself being afraid of hurting her, but it still hurt to hear that he thought Logan would hurt the babydoll. (Unlike Mr. Drop her head on a bathroom sink and on concrete).

Grunting, He hands her back, rolling his eyes. "Well then, what does 'she' want?"

"She wants a mom" He whined, nuzzling the doll and kissing her head.

Logan was about to say "shes got a mom," but not really, Vanessa thought she was kinda creepy and only held her when Wade asked but was awkward. This made sense, seeing as she was going to give Wade a baby before things changed. Now that she thought about it, they weren't really in the best of the situation to have a baby back then either. Just.. dumb love, I guess. The fact that whenever she saw him play with kids, it made her hormones explode... (Logan understood this feeling a bit too well around August)

"Evie baby, please! Shhh.. shh. Why are you crying so much?!" These are the parts that worried him, just how frustrated he got with his own head.

"What's all this ruckus? Dont you know what time it is?"

Logan blinked, glancing to his husband. "Why didn't you lock the door?? Carly you need to knock."

"Nonsense. I heard trouble, and where there's trouble, there's Howlie."

"What?" Her logic seemed flawed. Wouldn't she want to stay away from him if he were trouble? Though- then again- were talking about a 86 year old jewish veteran amputee from Poland. Not much scared her. Including walking in on them- which she's done multiple times with little care, gathering laundry and then leaving as if nothing happened.

"... do you think she saw us?"

"Why is there so many clothes on your floor? Who raised you to be like this? Hogs?" She said.

"... I honestly think she dosn't give a fuck."

"I aspire to give that little of a fuck one day." Wade would say.

It made Logan cringe and shiver to think about. Ugh. He couldn't imagine how much she had seen of them and how she would pinch his cheeks not even 10 minutes later. God, she was so.. weird! But even in her wandering mind, he couldn't imagine putting her back in that nursing home. Besides- now Al had someone to be crotchety with and sit on the couch complaining about stuff with. She had even started taking Al with her to Synagogue despite her always saying it was bullshit, She enjoyed the time out of the house.

"So what is problem?" She asks, a hand on her hip, her leg lazily put on in a flowery nightie.

"Evelyn is crying, and it's stressing him out." Logan tells her, still watching as Wade paced and patted her bum.

"She wants her mom but she dosn't have a mom." Wade explained, bouncing a bit more as he shushed her.

"Oooh, let me see. Give me little Eve. I take her." She offers, used to Wade's antics by now. That or she was losing it and thought the doll really was a baby. Either way, Wade looked hesitant again. "Are you sure? J-just don't be too rough. Logan's too rough."

"Snitch." Logan grumbled, giving him a playful fist as if saying 'Snitches get stitches'.

"Come now, D'aawww mój anioł. Did that mean man hurt you? Awww, I know, laleczko. Sheyneh meydeleh." She coes, patting her back gentle enough to satisfy Wade into finally sighing of relief.

"So.. what was wrong with her?" Logan asks, seeing his husband finally settle down and flop himself against the bed in an exhausted "Fmph".

"You ain't got any tits sugar." Carly smiles, innocently. "Babys like busty chests. And that's just what you aint got."

Wade gasped, covering his mouth and giggling. "No way, you just said that. Loagies tits are the best!"

He scoffs, smirking. "At least mine are real."

"Perhaps she prefers plastic over flatness."

Wade then gasped again. "Oh, you did not just say that. Wolvie you gonna let her get away with that?"

Logan let out a snort. "Yeah. Sure. What am I supposed to do? Beat up a grandma?"

"You know, raddish, your papa is quite a coward. Even in war was cowardly. Won't even fight an elderly lady with a missing leg." She says to the doll, leaving to take her back to her room to 'watch' her for the night.

Shaking his head softly, Logan couldn't help but chuckle, feeling young again from the banter. Boot didn't change a bit. And it seems she never would. "No way, I've seen guys get sent to medic way too many times over that leg!"

"If you dont want Boot up your ass, don't talk from it!" She calls, the door clicking.

Giggling, Wade sprawls out in the bed. "Was she always this sassy?"

"Oh, im pretty sure she gets sassier with age.."

"Like good cheese."

"Sure, bub. Like good cheese." Pulling him close, he locks him in his arms, not wanting him up again until their alarm went off in the morning.

".. You're a good dad, Wade." He whispers, nuzzling into him, yawning.

"I love you too, peanut.."

[faketrex]

The cakegate bodyswap ficlet I posted a few days ago stands alone as a one-shot... and also, if you were wondering what happens next... here's the next bit of that story.

This a work in progress, y'all, be forewarned! To be continued.

...

SHARING A SLICE... part 2

RWRB, rated T, 600 words (this part).

(click here for part 1)

...

For all Alex had complained about it – being forced to waste his weekend celebrating the marriage of someone he didn't know and a monarchy he wished didn't exist – the plan had been simple.

Fly to England. Sleep, hopefully. Get ready in the morning. Attend Prince Philip's wedding. Drink as much expensive booze and eat as many canapés as possible before getting scolded by June, then compare numbers with Nora. Think dark thoughts about the American Revolution and how, if you asked Alex, it should have been more comprehensive. Stay away from Henry. Leave.

Now, he's standing in a stupid fancy, ugly fancy, break-something-and-get-tossed-in-a-dungeon fancy room with Henry, covered in cake. And he's in the wrong fucking body.

Shit got complicated.

“You can’t leave,” Henry insists, hands on hips in a way that would look silly even if it didn't leave frosting handprints on his pants. (It does.)

“I'm sure as shit not staying.”

“Alex–”

“Do you seriously think I'd stick around after you – I don't even know what to call it. Bodysnatch? Bodyswap?”

“How the bloody hell should I know? You're the one to blame.”

“Me,” Alex scoffs, weirded out by how snooty it sounds in his – Henry's – voice but not letting that temper his anger, “you think I did this? Are you fucking joking?”

“It's quite clear that you dislike me.” Henry shakes his head, making crumbs shower down out of his – Alex's – curls. “I suspect you would take any opportunity to embarrass me.”

“Whatever, it’s still your fault. You know what? I bet it's a curse. Hundreds of years of racist, imperialist, monarchical bullshit and someone finally got fed up and cursed your family's asses.”

Henry stares at him. “Are you mad?”

“It makes sense! Your brother's in line for the throne. Curse the cake, so when he eats the first bite, bam, you've cursed the future king.”

“You are mad, and you've stolen my body, too–”

“Would you like to share your theory, Prince Perfect?”

Henry rolls his eyes. “My point stands. You need to stay.”

“Do you know the expression, ‘get the hell out of Dodge?’ You should, it's–”

“We need to fix–”

The door opens, admitting a tall man with an impressively neutral expression. Alex would be laughing his ass off at the sight of Henry covered in cake. Unfortunately, he's a little preoccupied right now.

“Your royal highness.” The man nods. “Mr. Claremont-Diaz, I’m afraid it's taking longer than anticipated to prepare your transportation, due to your current state of dress.”

Alex can translate: nobody wants frosting all over their town car.

Henry-as-Alex nods politely, then he and the man both look at Alex, waiting. It must be a ridiculous royal protocol thing. Alex needs to pretend he's Henry.

“Thank you,” Alex says haltingly. “That's... fine.”

“Yes, thank you,” Henry echoes, suspiciously fast, “but actually, his royal highness just suggested we reconvene at Kensington Palace.”

Alex did not fucking say that.

“Oh?”

Henry continues before Alex can get a word in. “Since we'll need clean-up for this… event… in more ways than one, he kindly offered the use of Kensington for... strategic planning.”

Alex would not fucking say that.

Both of them are looking expectantly at Alex-as-Henry again.

Alex fumes. Henry's right. They have to figure this out somehow, probably together. It's bad enough pretending to be Henry in front of just one person.

“Yeah. Let's all... go. To Kensington. Please.”

“Very well, your royal highness. I'll inform Mr. Claremont-Diaz’s entourage.”

What Alex wouldn't give to have the simple plan back.

…

(Part 3)

[wannaeatramyeon]

You hit the nail on the head! I‘ll ask for more professional assessment: honest opinion on Crystal?

Following on from my ramblings about Sally Park. Oops! Edited to add in Zoe too.

Well written female characters in Lookism? Uhh...

When the bar is at an all time low, it's really not hard to step over it.

At this point, I've been pavloved to think that any female character that expresses a personality trait other than 'simp' is pretty good. Simp is fun when it's part of a list of characteristics (Zack, Ryuhei). Not so much when it's the only thing.

Long live PTJ, the greatest feminist. Anyway.

Female characters I like

Mary Kim

Love her. Empress of 2 seconds. Queen of my heart.

Surprisingly kept a platonic relationship with Vin Jin, showing quite a healthy mixed gender friendship. Sassy and smart. Loyal. Good taste in men (Jace). Is shown having a life and interests outside of a man.

On my hands and knees praying that PTJ doesn't ruin her. Kinda glad she hasn't appeared in a while so she is kept away from his incessant need to turn everyone into a love interest.

Lua Im

Once we got over the odd Johan panels, which I heard the Korean audience didn't like and I'm quite happy about, she's fine. And it's not that I care that much about Johan staying a single dog-dad, I just needed a coherent reasoning/build up why they would be interested in one another.

Lua has potential.

Sourcing intel, even impressing the likes of Gun? A little Muay Thai knowledge? Jake and Jerry scared of her? Lol. Ok. Good. Let's build on this.

Just please don't white knight her.

Crystal Choi (meh)

And Ms. Choi, because anon specifically asked. I really don't mind her? I know she's meant to be anti-Lookism but still judges people based on their looks eh. That's fine. Pretty realistic actually. Whatever.

She can be a bit bitchy for no reason. So can I. Handwaving all that.

What I do take issue with though, is her so called title of Business Genius. Please show me the chapter where she actually does something to earn that title besides the one where other people ooh-ed and aah-ed over her in the meeting with DG.

Wow she's sooooo gorgeous. Ok good for her. If that's the route they're taking her character then at least OWN. THAT. SHIT. Use her beauty and looks to sign deals and get what she wants. GOOD. DO IT.

Zoe Park (also meh... Wait)

Sorry anon, I think 'really well written' is a bit of a reach... She does have some decent character development, starting as quite a flighty, shallow girl and then showing that she has a heart of gold, liking both Daniels and. Huh.

Wait. You're right. She is pretty well written. She's selfless and kind and loyal to her friends, putting up with Logan's bullshit. There's enough of a character arc for her from the Zoe we're introduced to at first.

And I do like that she's good at maths too.

Wasted potential

Minseong Kang (Jake's momma)

Appreciate this is the older generation and from a much more conservative culture. Saying that, I am so over the slighted and bitter housewife rotting at home while her big powerful husband cheats on her.

And then some sort of marriage redemption cos they pop out a kid. Whatever. (Sorry Jake bb, I love you).

If you were going to do that, give me the most toxic red flag shit where they are constantly at each other's THROATS. Show me how they are equals. Can't live with or without one another. That's the good kinda shit.

Leonn Lee

I just. What the fuck was this.

A girl in Burn Knuckles? A group that reeks of testerone and (positive) masculinity? Show us why she joined! Show us why she stays. SURPRISE. Main character trait?? Having a crush on Vasco.

She could have been SO interesting. And she obviously trains, why not get her to fight?

Hate for irrational reasons

Joy Hong

Listen, she's not really in enough or significant enough for me to really feel one way or another about her. BUT. The reason I HATE her is because I was trying to write a headcanon involving everyone and then I got to Joy and I was STUMPED.

Sub in a plank of wood, and it would have the same depth of personality.

Truly. Who is she apart from Jay's sister and a Daniel simp? At least everyone else has something.

Others

I don't really think about them. Sera Shin has potential I guess.

And of course a special mention to Daniel's momma. She's not exactly a unique character, but who doesn't love her?

LET. THEM. FIGHT.

Lastly. Why can't we see women fight? Like the men's fights are realistic LOL. Ultra instinct? Smashing through walls? So why are women fighting men outside the realms of this.

And yes yes. Men are SoOoOoOo strong. But can they take a kick to the balls?

Are you saying Gun Park has been training his dick and balls and would be able to eat a hit there? He wouldn't go down like a heap of shit??

HUH. TELL ME THAT.

In Summary

Mary by and large is pretty well written. Lua has improved.

I don't care much about anyone else.

And I wanna see Gun, Goo, Sammy, Vin etc. get kicked in the balls in a fight.

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

4 + boyfs :)

Boyf Riends + 4. things you said over the phone

September 1, 2015, 7:12pm

"Hey, I got my stuff from my hookup. Where are you right now? I've been looking around the food court for like ten minutes and you're just, gone. Uh, I guess I'll check Hot Topic until you get back to me. See ya."

September 1, 2015, 7:47pm

"Jeremy, why did I have to learn from the cashier at Forever 21 that Brooke and Chloe offered you a ride home?? And that you ended up just walking out instead?? I can't find you in the parking lot, man, like... Did you just-... walk home? Some warning would've been nice, ya know? Anyway. Text me so that I know you didn't die or whatever. Later."

September 2, 2015, 12:25pm

"Oh fuck off, don't pretend you don't know I'm calling you. I can see you sitting next to Rich! Your phone is right there next to your lunch tray! Good job taming him I guess, but can you stop ignoring me? For like, a minute?? Ditching me at the mall was one thing, but this is just... weird. You're being weird. And not the good kind. The like, got-replaced-by-a-changeling kind. Look- can you just look at me, Jeremy?!"

September 2, 2015, 3:43pm

"'Optic Nerve Block-' dude, what are you doing?? Is this a bit?? Haha, very funny. Jeremy's hot shit now and is too good for Michael. Great. Cool. Just-... actually ya know what, it's not cool. I'm not laughing. I mean, congrats on snatching Brooke up. That's... I mean I thought Christine was... you've just been gushing about her since... I- something about this is... *sigh* Never mind. Let me know when you decide to stop doing... this, whatever it is you're doing."

September 6, 2015, 12:56pm

"I hope you know I'm just gonna keep blowing up your phone with texts until you acknowledge me. I'm not asking for much, man! Just... an explanation? Maybe? Just something so that I know we're still cool or whatever. I know you're probably busy with rehearsal and all, but it's... weird that we haven't had a sleepover this weekend. I... can't really remember the last weekend where... *huff* Ok, so your SQUIP clearly doesn't like me. Fine. It can join the club. But... you still like me, right? Can I... can I get that much?"

September 12, 2015, 2:36pm

"Hey, since you and Rich are like, buddies now or whatever, you think you could call him off? He's still pulling his bullshit on me. And normally I wouldn't care that much, but... I dunno, it was different when it was both of us. And now you're just letting him go off on me?? Where's the Jeremy that broke his finger on a homophobic dickhead's nose two years ago? Where's the kid that became a little ball of rage that I had to restrain when guys gave me shit? I know freshman year was like, a really angsty spell for you, but... fucker- what do you want from me?! Can we just talk? Please??"

September 28, 2015, 2:03am

"Look, if you never wanna see me again, can you at least just say that?! Just tell me so that I don't have to question if you've actually decided to look in my direction or not? You haven't blocked my number, so you obviously... You're just-! Ugh! This isn't like you! Even if you do give me the silent treatment, it's never for this fucking long! If I fucked up somewhere just-! Tell me!! As much as we joke about it, I can't read your fucking mind! Fucking- text me! Pass a note! Flip me off! Something! This is fucking stupid!"

October 14, 2015, 4:47pm

"Have I mentioned how weird it is to hear other people actually name-drop you in the hall? Like, I'm still Antisocial Headphones Kid and probably will be until graduation. It's not like I care. Shit's not gonna matter in college. And even if it does, it's not gonna matter in the real world. In jobs or whatever. ...I don't... *sigh* I can't just keep calling you to yell about how you left. It just- it's old. And annoying. For me. I don't care if it's annoying for you. You're probably not even listening to these. Just... ugh, whatever. I'll see ya. Gonna go out on a limb and say you won't see me though."

October 27, 2015, 10:56pm

"Look, I- ...something about this whole SQUIP thing is really fucking shady. I just... it-it's creepy, ya know? You had to buy it at the back of a Payless, the dude selling it was sketchy as hell, and there's fuck-all on the internet about it. It's... and this isn't just because I'm salty! I mean fuck you still, but this isn't about that! Like I'm genuinely... this- it just- it's weird. I shoulda- fuck, I shoulda picked up on it sooner. I should've-! Ugh, I wouldn't have to leave you all these stupid voicemails if I'd just used my brain for two seconds! I'll... *sigh* tonight's been exhausting. I'll pick this up later. If you decide ya wanna clue me in after all this time, be my fucking guest."

October 30, 2015, 10:32pm

"Shit- ok, I get you're still doing your dumb little ignoring me thing but- fuck, you gotta get that thing outta your head. It's- I-I have this online friend, his brother had a SQUIP and- I'm looking at the videos and-... Y-you just- it's bad. It's really, really bad. I wanna come to you about this in person, but you're like, never home when I go there. And your dad doesn't know where you are either?? He just assumed you were with me! Which, I don't blame him after all these years, but... Jer, it's so fucking bad. I'm... I'm getting you to listen one way or another, so fucking help me."

October 31, 2015, 11:47pm

(There's no sound for several seconds, besides slight shifts in movement. It's all very muffled. Any words spoken are too quiet to distinguish, if they even are words at all. There might be the slightest inkling of a song in the distant background, though it's anyone's guess which song it is.)

*knock knock knock knock*

"*sniff* Shit-"

(There's some indistinct sound on the other end akin to one clambering about in a confined space. Metal rings clatter on the curtain rod as the plastic sheet is swept back.)

*knock knock knock knock*

"Just a fucking minute, man!"

*ssssshhhhhhhhhh*

(The sink is turned on, water rushing out of the faucet and hissing against the pearly white bowl that it's confined to. Its flow is interrupted by the flesh of cupped hands collecting it every few seconds, followed by the splatter of it falling back down in a scattered arc rather than a focused stream.)

*knock knock knock knock*

(It's not long before the handles squeak and the water is shut off, leaving the indistinct thrumming bass of a song that's been turned up far too loud.)

"...Hello?"

(Besides the underlying hum, silence. A lonely, lonely lack of sound, before a long sigh.)

"Figures..."

(There's nothing more than this quiet, rhythmic thumping for a long time. There's very little to break the monotony of it beyond the occasional sniffle of swallowing of phlegm.)

"Is that really how you see me? Or were you just reaching for the pettiest fucking word you could've used?"

(The scream of glass echos chillingly in the small room. Sparkling crystals twinkle and sing against smooth porcelain, a prickly harmony to go with the melody of ragged sobs.)

"God-! Dammit!"

(There's a soft thud, and then a long dragging sound akin to one sliding down to sit against a wall.)

"Fuck..."

(An eternity of smothered weeping seems to pass, though in reality it's barely more than a full minute, before a blood-curdling scream is heard, disturbingly loud for how distant it sounds.)

"FIRE!"

"Shit- what the hell??"

November 1, 2015, 2:14am

"I'm guessing you don't know this, since you didn't run out of the house screaming or get dragged into an ambulance, but Jake's house burned down. Yeah, that place where that party was happening where you-... I'm fine, by the way, because you obviously cared. Paramedics got all the glass out of my knuckles. I just... wanna confirm you're fine too. Because... still fuckin' care about you and shit. Yeah, thanks for waiting up, by the way. There's no indication you were ever fucking here, so I can only assume you bailed before anyone even smelled smoke. Glad you're safe, dickwad. Hope you can extend the same relief to me."

November 12, 2015, 5:49pm

"Hey. I'm... coming to your performance. Your dad kinda... If he's suddenly wearing pants the next time you see him, you're welcome. Guess you can thank him for me coming to see your show too... I won't have any flowers for you, but... hopefully I'll have something just as good."

November 12, 2015, 6:52pm

"--- entire stu--nt bod- -- do it!"

"Wh- Jeremy?"

"Mich- GAH!"

"Shit! Where are you?"

"-- ---- ---- ---- -- ---! -- --- -- ------ --- ---!"

November 16, 2015, 11:47am

"Hey, um... it'll probably take you a while to listen to this, if you... choose to listen to it at all. Um... it was nice seeing you at The Play, all things considered. It... it was almost like things were normal again. I... I missed it. A lot. Maybe uh... maybe once you wake up, once things settle down, we could... talk? Just... at all? Doesn't have to be a call back. Could be a text, in person, note passed in class-"

"Carrier pigeon."

"Rich says carrier pigeon. He's your roommate. You'll see that soon enough if- ...when you wake up. You've been pretty determined to stay asleep though. Four days... heh, you tryna make us jealous? I just... hope you wake up soon. Before New Year's would be nice. No pressure, obviously, just... I... *sigh* 'I miss you' would be an understatement."

November 23, 2015, 4:13am

"Hey, Michael, um... I... listened to your voicemails a couple... couple hours ago. I was going to call back when I finished them, but it was late and I figured you were asleep. Um... I guess it's even weirder that I'm calling at 4am than it would've been if I called at 1:30, but... *sigh* I'm sorry. For everything. I know I said it at The Play, but I didn't... I couldn't really... I-I'm sorry. For bailing on you at the mall. For the optic nerve blocking. For the... the shit I said on Halloween- just- refusing to believe that you were trying to help, and- Fuck- the fire. I know I didn't have anything to do with it but... I'm sorry... for making you think I didn't care about your safety. I'm so glad you got out ok, really, and... I'm... sorry for making you punch a mirror. I don't... think you meant to call me in the bathroom, but... I heard... some stuff. I don't know if it was everything."

(There's an audible swallow.)

"I just... I don't... understand, why you still helped me in the end. After... after everything. I'm grateful, and thank you, but... I was so afraid I'd burned that bridge on Halloween. No- no pun intended. I thought you wouldn't-... I-I was so sure- the SQUIP was so-"

(There's a long pause. One would think that the message had abruptly cut off if not for the shaky breathing on the other end. There's a tightness in his voice when it eventually comes back.)

"'He won't come back to you. No one is coming for you.' That's what it said. And I was convinced that I'd fucked everything up and you'd never-... but you did. And-and I'm sorry we haven't done anything together since the hospital. I've just been really... it-it's an adjustment, not having a computer telling me what to do, and balancing hormones and chemicals and- fuck, I've gotten like, no sleep this weekend. I toss and turn all night and if I don't toss and turn, it's... it's nightmares, about... *sigh* Sorry, I shouldn't dump my shit on you. Not-not like this, not after..."

(His voice crumbles, like it's taking every ounce of strength he has to keep it audible without devolvng into indecipherable cry-speak. It's all but a raspy whisper.)

"I... I do wanna see you again. I do... still care about you. A lot. So much. Not seeing you for so long, it... it's caught up to me, and... I just wanna fall asleep next to you again. Which sounds clingy as fuck, and maybe it is, but I... You're the only one that..."

(He can't hold the sobs back anymore, but he does his best to muffle them. Keep them quiet. Avoid waking his dad. Hide the pain because he doesn't want this to be about him. It shouldn't be about him. Why is he making it about him?)

"*sniff* Fuck, how long've I been talking? Sorry, I'll- just- cut this off now. Ok, um... night. I... I love you. I just... wanna make sure you know that."

November 28, 2015, 1:12pm

Send you my love on a wire~

Lift you up every time

Jeremy startles awake at the sound of Michael’s ringtone, something he hasn't heard since before the start of the school year when Michael absolutely had to tell him about the dream he'd just woken up from. He tries to shake the remnants of sleep fog from his head as he pats around for his vibrating phone, thankfully finding it before the chorus ends.

"Mmg, h-" Jeremy's voice is scratchy from being woken up, so he clears his throat and tries again. "Hello?"

"Hey, bud." Michael's voice is quiet and soft through the receiver. He sounds tired as well, but in a constant, passive way instead of a groggy way. Jeremy wonders how long he's been awake.

"Hey, um..." Jeremy sits up and loosely hugs his knees, unsure of what to say next. Not wanting to leave Michael with nothing, he circles back to, "hey."

A weak chuckle flows through the speaker, colored with a fondness Jeremy's not sure he's heard since the last time they got high together. "Are you always this articulate?"

It's sweet, knowing that Michael's first reaction is banter instead of what Jeremy would consider much-deserved exasperation. He doesn't understand it, but it tugs his mouth into a small smile. "I uh... didn't fall asleep until like 6am, so..."

"Right, yeah. You did mention trouble sleeping, didn't you."

That smile crumbles as dread pools into his chest. He can't help but hide his face despite Michael not being able to see it in the first place. "Oh gods, you listened to that voicemail?"

"Couple times, yeah," Michael confesses, and it makes Jeremy cringe in embarrassment."I wanted to come see you earlier this week, but there was school stuff, and then Thanksgiving happened and..." he trails off a bit."Yeah, um... sorry."

Jeremy shakes his head fantically. "Nono, you're fine!" he insists. He doesn't want to lose this chance, but in the moment, his scrambled brain doesn't quite know what to do with it. "It's... I- do we wanna, I dunno, um..."

"Yes," Michael says immediately. "We- I do, yeah. Totally unrelated, but you should look out your window."

Jeremy blinks as he crawls off the bed toward the window. "Is it all snowy or are you waiting out there like you're in some kind of movie?"

He pulls the curtain back to see Michael standing on the sidewalk, a bright red swatch on a brilliantly white canvas, his hoodie lightly dusted with snow. It reminds Jeremy of powdered sugar on a lemon square. Michael waves his free hand, the other one still holding his phone to his ear.

"Yes."

Jeremy tentatively waves back, though it feels more like his hand trembles against the cool glass than it feels like a proper greeting. He feels his body shaking not from the winter weather creeping its way in, but from the nerves that come from seeing his best friend again after... well, admittedly not very long, but it's different this time. "Hi. I'll uh, I'll meet you downstairs, yeah?"

"Cool, see you in a second."

"See ya." Jeremy hangs up and pulls on some soft pajama pants before hurrying down the steps. He doesn't even check the downstairs window to confirm Michael's location before opening the front door.

Sure enough, there he is, a vibrant red light in the dull white fog behind him. Jeremy holds back on his urges just long enough to let Michael inside and shut the door before throwing his arms around him. Michael catches him easily, the cold from white flakes melting into red fabric doing little to negate the warmth of his embrace.

He remains sturdy as Jeremy quivers against him, silently refusing to let go of him any time soon. Jeremy attempts to blink back the tears threatening to spill out, but only really succeeds in disguising his sob a shaky sigh. As long as he can release the tension in his throat without being too loud about it, he'll take the win.

"I love you too," Michael whispers into Jeremy's hair, squeezing him snugly. "I hope you know that."

[spiderymiasma]

🕸 The Chase 🕸 || Miguel x f!Spider

Summary: She was the perfect prey. And he was a natural predator. And Miguel's getting sick of her games...

Words: 2.9k

A/N: Please let me know if I use Spanish incorrect. I"m not a native speaker and appreciate any feedback!

|| My AO3 ||

Like most other days, today quickly started turning to shit for Miguel O'Hara.  Lego Spiderman, one of his best, was recently admitted to the MedBay for Lego related injuries (not funny Lyla).  Morales and his gang of hooligans had botched yet another simple mission.  Peter B. was giving him lip and wouldn't stop droning on about Mayday.  And Hobie…?

Ugh, Miguel didn't even want to think about Hobie. 

And worst yet, his own body was driving him crazy.  His fangs ached so terribly.  The gums around them reddened and tender.  His head was fuzzy, and every fiber in his muscles ached, begging to be let free. 

"I see you're still working well into the early hours of the morning." A soft feminine voice remarked from the shadows.  A lithe Spiderwoman walked up in front of the numerous monitors and screens in front of him. 

Miguel grunted.  Without any windows in headquarters, he hadn't even noticed the hours passing by.  "Hard not to when you have Miles Morales fucking everything up around here."

The Spiderwoman rolled her eyes in fond exasperation.  It was obvious even to those who weren't close with Miguel, that he was starting to lose control of himself.  He'd be driving everyone crazy for nearly a week.  Snapping at the smallest insult, berating the poor new recruit, and worst of all (in Peter B's opinion) refusing to look at the newest reels of Mayday's baby pictures.

In her opinion, Miguel needed to get control of his attitude.  And she knew just the fix.

"Miguel, you are too hard on that poor Morales kid.  He tries his best and means well."

"Yeah?  Well he screws up every single operation I send him out on."  Miguel soldiered on, continue to bury himself in his charts, figures, and a figurative stack of reports. 

The Spiderwoman hummed.  As one of the first ones to be recruited by Miguel into their "Spider society", she's seen Miguel transform from headstrong "One and only" Spiderman to the supreme leader of an elite and deadly Spider Society.  Though it was always hard to tell what that man was thinking, she hoped that he would consider her a friend.

She always hoped that he was never too peeved whenever she called him out on his bullshit. 

"You seem more stressed than usual."  Before Miguel could interrupt her to claim otherwise, she finished.  "How can I help?"

Miguel momentarily paused in his work.  Their eyes connecting for the briefest moments through the transparent screens that separated them.  He faint stress lines on his forehead made the poor man appear older than he deserved.  Several strands stuck out from his perfectly gelled hair, no doubt from the numerous times he ran his fingers through his hair.  It seemed, at least from her view, that he had so much he wanted to say.  Or maybe, it was her heart that yearned for Miguel to finally say what he had been holding back for so long.  His shoulders softened at her smile. 

"Nah, you've done enough work this week."  He averted his eyes away from hers.  "Go get some rest before you get too cranky for tomorrow's meeting."

The corners of her lips dipped down in frustration.  She didn't need Spidey-senses to be able to tell how the waves of stress rolled off of his tight shoulders in waves.

"How about you and I do a training session together tomorrow?"  She asked suddenly.  "It's been a while since you got out of your tall pedestal." 

His fingers paused in their typing as if he was actually considering it for a moment.  The itch under his skin begging to be addressed.

They quickly resumed their work.  Miguel let out a frustrated sigh.  "I just told you that I'm up to my ears in work.  And besides, if it weren't for that Morales kid-"

"I know, I know."  She placated.  "I know you find it hard to believe, but I do listen to what you tell me."

Miguel scoffed, clearly not believing her.

"Well, I think you could use some training tomorrow.  When's the last time you got some fresh air?  Really let those…instincts run while."

They looked at each other in the eyes again, this time without the blue-green screens separating them.

Besides Lyla, she was one of the few Spiderpeople to understand how badly the spider DNA affected Miguel.  She herself was bitten by a particularly nasty spider and often appeared more animal than human.  Miguel tried to pretend otherwise, using temporarily serums and DNA injections to stave off the worst of the symptoms but….

…it was hard hiding that part of himself from someone like her.

Their "training" wasn't…traditional.  It was very private, very secret affair that they told no one with the sole exception of Lyla who was bond by code to secrecy.  Miguel really doubted what they did together to be counted as training at all.  But Miguel and her…were…uniquely biologically disposed in similar enough ways that they could find solace in each other and bond over their more animalistic sides.

Still, didn't make it any less awkward to explain to outsiders.

He was the one to break eye contact first.  Looking away, he again pretended to busy himself with silly work. 

"Can't."  He grunted.  "Like I said, I’m busy."

He couldn't help but notice how her eyes gleamed mischievously.  "Some other time then,"  With a small wave of her hand, she disappeared into the darkness, and Miguel naively thought that they could put the conversation to rest.

🕸 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩🕸

Like most nights, Miguel somehow managed to squeeze in a couple hours of rather fitful sleep.   Sleep was just as difficult as any battle for him.  Between He padded to his workstation ready to start a whole new laundry list of tasks.

"Lyla, what's the docket looking like this morning."  He asked sleepily, rubbing his face with his large palm, careful to not let his claws pierce his eyes.

Only silence responded.

"Lyla?  C'mon I don't have time for your games."

His voice echoed ominously across the empty room. 

Slowly dragging his palm down his face, he finally looked up his screens.

Their automatic sensors were off.  The backlights dim, and all of his work had been completely reshuffled. 

Someone had been here.  Funny enough, he had a pretty good guess as to who.  Amidst all the tedious paperwork, there was an old-fashioned sticky note attached to his desk.

"Heya Mig, hope you slept well.  If you would like Lyla to be up and running again, come and find me for some sparring practice!

-EARTH 45690"

Miguel swore underneath his breath in colorful Spanish.  She knew he hated that nickname.  His fangs were so sore in his gums.  His thoughts felt clouded by a thick fog and moved sluggishly.  He could feel the rush of biological chemicals running through his veins.  He did not have time for this bullshit.

Punching the written number into his watch, he walked through the open portal into whatever dimension she summoned him to.  The sooner he get this over with, the sooner he could go back to work.

🕸 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩🕸

Instantly, he was met with a blast of humid heat that did not feel good against his feverish skin.  Blinking at the stark sunlight, he took stock of his surroundings.  Gigantic prehistoric palm levels, staggering cliffs, and dragonflies the size of German Shepherds.

Great.  Prehistoric New York.  Spider Rex's Earth.  Why on earth would she bring him here?

"Hello Miguel!"

Miguel's neck craned upwards.  The offending spider woman was resting in a cozy little hammock made out of spider webbing as if she had all the time in the word.

She was getting on his nerves.

"I don't have time to play games with you."  He shouted from the ground, hoping she could hear him.  "Get rid of whatever virus you gave Lyla this time, so we can get back to schedule."

She frowned, staring at him from above.  "Hm…wellllll I do have this handy dandy UBS, but I'm afraid you'll have to catch me first to use it."

She hadn't even finished her grand speech before Miguel was already climbing up the rock giving chase.  His talons sunk into the sides of the cliff, tearing apart the earth beneath him every time he climbed forward.

Reaching desperately, he clawed at the UBS drive in her fingers.  Her wrist snapped back.  The thumb drive mere inches away from his reach.  He growled dangerously.  His patience waning. 

Her face split into a grin underneath her mask. 

"You thought it was going to be that easy?"  She teased.  She got up from her homemade hammock.  She made a big show of stretching her loose limbs.  She was calm as if she were a woman warming up before a Pilates class instead of a Spiderwoman about to be hunted down by her very, very pissed boss. 

"Give.  Me.  The. Stick."  Miguel's growled, his tone dangerous. 

"Only if you catch me."  She sang.

Before Miguel could react, she was gone, using the overgrown palm trees above them to sling away. 

He chased after her. 

They did this quite often.  They would meet each other in a throwaway universe, they would spar, Miguel would hunt her down, and they would go back to their lives as normal.  If someone like Peter B were to find out about this "training" of theirs, they would call it flirting. But her and Miguel knew better.  People whose DNAs were laced with spider DNA….there was a part of themselves they tried to suppress, try to hide for the betterment of spider society.

This was one rare moments where they could let out this side of them.

She zipped and zagged through the thick foliage, like an acrobat weaving through fabric.  She danced with the practiced experience of a superhero well-versed in her art.  Miguel was just as deadly, breaking through the heavy trees, leaving a trail of broken twigs and disturbed underbrush in his way.  In his crazed frenzy, he wrecked havoc on the peaceful forest.

The only warning she got was the glint of slitted amber eyes in darkness, before a weight slammed into her in a frenzied blur.  She blocked his arm with one hand.  The other held the prized UBS stick out of Miguel's reach tauntingly.

They sparred for a while, well-practiced in each other's movements and attacks.  Sometimes she would land a well-placed clever blow on him, and other times his claws would come dangerously close to the UBS.  Finally, he managed to pin her lithe form into the forest ground.  Miguel's lips turned up into a snarl that showed off his pointed incisors.

She couldn't help but whimper.

His bulking, threatening form was pressed on top of hers.  With his body so close against her, he could smell her sweet and alluring scent, making something inside him purr with need. Honeysuckle, soft cotton, and the lavender shampoo she always used.

He did his best to ignore it.  This was sparring.  Nothing more.  It would never be anything more.  Don't be creepy to your female subordinate.

"You make this too easy."  He growled.  "Don't lose your edge so fast."

She panted, trying to even her respiratory rate.  His clawed hands were so warm, pressing her arms down onto the ground.  He radiated body heat.  His pinpoint pupils stared her down, pinning her in place.  The moment their gazes met, she couldn't look away, captured by those glowing eyes.

No, no, stop.  Don't go there.  He was her coworker.  Her boss.  Her boss with enough emotional baggage to rival any other Spiderperson.  This…training they had between them was for professional use only.  A way to get the edge off.  Like yoga, or boxing.  No romance involved.

Her spider instincts said otherwise.  It took everything in her to ignore her body that was screaming to get as close to Miguel as possible.

Her voice was raspy with need.  "Don't worry, Miguel, I have still have a few tricks up my sleeve."

And with a flick of her wrist, her web trap sprang to life.  Without any Spidey senses, intricate sticky web ensnared Miguel in place.  She deftly rolled out of his grasp, free again to gloat at another tiny victory.  She hovered closely, the eyes on her mask innocent and curious as she observed him.

He growled.  His muscles straining against the restraints.  "Oh you'll pay for that one, chica." 

She tried to hide her giggles behind her hands.

With a quick flex of biceps, the spiderwebs ripped apart.  His bulging muscles and claws easily shredding through her webbing like paper.  Though he was only caught for a few seconds, it was enough of an opening for her to slip away.  Miguel sprung to life lunging after her with clawed hands.

She dodged easily, already slinging away.

He huffed.  Infuriating woman.  He chased after her retreating form.  His blood was pumping hot in his veins.  "You know, this is only eating away at the time I have available for all my stupid paperwork."  His voice lacked any real heat behind his words.  He tried to swipe at her with his talons, only to find her just out of arms reach.

She languidly dogged his arm as she swung on her webbing.  "Hmmm. Your work?  I did it for you already last night."

Miguel's heart skipped a beat.  He almost lost his footing.  "Y-you…you did?"

She twisted her body back to face him as she swung backwards with ease.  "I did most of the stuff I could do without your explicit approval, with Lyla's help of course."  Miguel managed to grab onto her ankle.  She broke through his grasp with well-practiced dexterity.  "Everything else on your desk is just waiting for your signature."

She didn't have to do his busywork.  In fact, Miguel highly discouraged it.  She was far more useful in the field.  Her competency shouldn't be wasted on tasks that were benefit her.  Still, it didn't stop the warmth blooming in his chest.

They flew through the air, going through the motions of this well-practiced dance they had between them.  Perhaps it was accidental or more likely it was on purpose, but eventually her pace faltered as she momentarily lost her balance running from Miguel. 

It was enough for Miguel. 

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he finally caught her.  He slammed her roughly against the nearest rockwall, perhaps too roughly for anyone else that wasn't a Spider.  The forceful impact cracking the wall behind her.  It shuddered as rubble fell on top of the both of them.  Using his back, Miguel shielded from from most of the debris. 

He removed his mask from his face, starved for as much oxygen as he could get.

"Parece que finalmente gané (Look's like I finally won)."  His voice was rough with exertion.

Pulling off her own mask She gasped for air.  Her hair, sticky with sweat, clung to her face and eyelashes.  Her eyes were blown wide from a mixture of adrenaline and exertion.  She jutted out her chin arrogantly, or maybe invitingly.  "Are you here to collect your prize?" 

With a grin on Miguel's handsome face and darkened eyes, he pinned her arms above her, trapping her against the wall.  There was no doubt in his mind, that if she truly did not want this, she could easily break free from his grasp.  There was a flash of sharp fangs as Miguel loomed over her possessively.  Adrenaline pumping through his veins, minds pulsating with animalistic need, he leaned down to kiss her.  The prized UBS drive now entirely forgotten. 

His lips were so soft and contrasted so nicely against the hard contours of the rest of his body.  She eagerly melted into the kiss, wrapping her legs around Miguel's waist to get closer to him.  He smelled of sweat, musk, and sandalwood.  She struggled not to get drunk off of his scent.   Clawed fingers carefully reached up to cup her face, caressing it so gently. 

His sharp canines accidentally nicked her bottom lip.  Before he could pull away and apologize, she whimpered with need, her tongue darted out, licking at the broken skin.  She looked wild, entirely animalistic, giving into her most base urges.  Miguel was sure he looked the exact same. 

Miguel's fangs latched onto the soft skin of her neck, piercing.  She keened, basking in the pleasure.  Miguel had enough restraint to at least hold back from injecting her with paralytic venom but as her hands roamed over his pectorals greedily, it was getting harder and harder to stop himself from claiming her.

"Miguel, please."  She begged against his skin.  Her throat already bruising with love marks, there was two obvious puncture wounds left by Miguel.

The rational, stressed side of him froze at the sight of her.  She looked like she'd been attacked by…some monster.  What on earth was he thinking?  This was his subordinate, someone he respected.  Someone who sat right next to him during boring conference meetings.  This was wildly inappropriate.  Trapping her and just having his way with her.

He pulled back almost scalded.  He can't believe he let it get this far. 

Seeing his reluctance, she fisted his spidersuit pulling him closer to her.  An animalistic growl came from her throat. Her red eyes were dilated with need.  "Don't you dare fucking stop, Miguel O'Hara."

"Mierda."  What little restrain he had snapped, as he lunged forward to consume her.

Later…much later…he'd ask her again if she would like to spar with him again sometime soon. 

[yourlocalsmutwriter]

A test of faith- Lee Sa-ra x reader

TW: mentions of homophobia/conversion therapy, coercion, mentions of illegal substances, generally a fucked up fic. MINORS DNI PLEASE

Serving God was not on top of your bingo card for this year. But through a long process you were here. Religion was a bit of a taboo in your family. Your grandparents were religious. Your parents, not so much. But the tables turned when they caught you sleeping with another woman. So, off to "curing" you, you were "sick". And the only place that could "help" you was the church. It took a few years, but you were "fixed". Bullshit. Conversion camp just made you a lot sneakier when it came to hooking up with girls. Sadly, it also made you miss a lot of high-school and college. So when you came out of there, you could not land a job. There was no way to explain the gap in your resume. Yeah, my parents sent me away for being too gay wasn't really a catch for employers. So you had to go back and work for the church. You could be a counselor for the camp. Fuck that. You weren't about to scare some poor teenagers straight. So the only other option was working for the church. Cleaning, organizing events, even working behind the counter and collecting the entrance fee, you'd do it all. Though unfortunately the only way you could get a job was by asking in person.

You were terrible at interviews. Generally you were a shy person and you had trouble speaking up. So when it was time to "sell yourself" to employers, you were screwed. You wiped your sweaty palms against your skirt. It wasn't going to be that hard. 30 minutes to 45, in and out, talking about redemption, devotion, just wanting to help out.

They called you in, but instead of a small room with a desk and chairs, they led you into a pretty bare room. Before you could question anything, the door behind you was slammed and locked. And on the other side of the room, you could see the same happening to someone else. Then that person stepped forward and holy shit, it was Lee Sa-ra. The famous abstract painter, who just happened to be the daughter of the church leaders. But what was she doing here? And why were you both alone in a room? Actually, you looked around and saw that there was a bulky man keeping guard at the door. Why would you escape? Just as you thought that, a voice carried over the speakers. It said your name, followed by ''I guess you are very confused, sister. You see, you came here for a job. And we admire that. But you must know that guide lost souls back to the righteous path. But have you earned redemption? Or are you still a sinner? Can you resist temptation? and then cut out. Another message began, this time for Sa-ra. ''Sa-ra, you need redemption too. Though your sin is different. You were always more like Lilith, rather than Eve. So, use that. Earn your forgiveness by condemning others. ''

Then it got quiet. You and Sa-ra looked at each other. ''So, they obviously want us to turn on each other. But I have no benefit to sabotage you. You wanna join the church and press people, giving them the fear of God? Be my fucking guest. Judging from what I heard, you've been through some messed up shit too. So if this is your calling, go ahead. I tell you what, even standing here in your presence made me holly. So, we're free to go.'' she said. Sa-ra stared straight at our guard. He just sighed, cleared his throat, and pulled a large bag of white powder from seemingly nowhere.

''Nice try. I can buy flour too, jackass.'' Sa-ra said.

The guard once again didn't say anything, just went over to you. He dragged you by the hair and forced you to sit as he grabbed his key. He spread the white powder over it and pressed your face near it. Still, you refused to inhale. He squeezed your throat until you gasped for breath and the white powder was in your nose. He did that a few more times and carried you back to Sa-ra.

''Watch her and then tell me if it's the real stuff'' he said. Sa-ra placed her hand on your pulse point and waited for some time. She could feel your heartbeat skyrocket, watching you shiver, and repeatedly bounce your leg up and down.

But what tipped her off was your nosebleed. ''Holy shit'' Sara said. ''You gave her actual coke. ''she continued in disbelief. She knew that her parents and overall the church would never be okay with this, yet here she was on holy grounds, taking care of you, a complete stranger. So that led her to believe that this was some very fucked up revenge plan or blackmail of some sort. Or was it a test of faith?

And here you were, on a job interview, being high as a kite. But the strangeness was far from over. Because the real fun was just now getting started. The voice over the speakers began again. But this time it was different. No longer cryptic and confusing. It was clear as a bell. ''Sa-ra, you want drugs. And the other one here wants a job. But only one of you can make it out of here with your wish intact. There's a certain sin that you have both committed. Timothy 1:10.''

Sa-ra stared at you for an explanation. ''We're both gay. It's one of the 6 mentions of homosexuality in the Bible. Those have been drilled into me since conversion camp.''

''So, we've both been with some women, big deal. But how does that tie in with what we have to do to get out of here?'' Sa-ra asked. Silently you wondered that too. How could you trick her to be more gay than you? How would that be measured? Your brain replayed the previous instructions to you. It had been urging her to tempt you, so did they mean seduce you. So maybe the first one to make a move would lose. Or win. It was a dangerous gamble, but you decided to try it. You leaned it and pressed your lips to Sa-ra's. And it felt good. To your surprise, she kissed back.

Maybe it was because you were under the influence. Maybe it was because she had been your celebrity crush for some time. But you could work with this. You let her deepen the kiss and even let out a soft moan. You were already getting a bit drunk on this. You hoped that this was enough. At this point, you didn't even care about losing the job. You just wanted to go home. You finally thought you were free, as you heard the voice over the speakers again. ''I see both little lambs are on the right track. But what is a mere kiss? Did Judas not kiss Jesus? We want more. And we want it now. So I'll put it plainly for you. Whoever makes the other cum wins.''

You were shocked. But then you looked around the room. The security guard was gone. And Sa-ra was stripping. She was like an angel, you thought. Then it dawned on you how fucked up this whole thing was. Why was she going along with this so easily? Were drugs so important to her that she was willing to sacrifice her dignity like this? But then you had heard the rumors. Her stunts in Paris, with reporters calling her a whore, who sleeps on the streets. Her many dating rumors. There was the scandal of her being a sugar mommy for this college girl while using the church money. You weren't one for gossip anyway.

''Throwing in the towel,'' she asked. Then she kissed you again. You knew that you would be screwed if you also didn't do anything. So you just went with it, hoping to do some damage as well. Both of you slowly went to the floor, kissing each other. There were bits where you almost wrestled. You knew if you took control of her, maybe you could win even though dominance wasn't always your thing. But apparently, you weren't the only one with that idea. And Sa-ra somehow had more experience than you. She easily pinned you down and started taking off your clothes. Your button-down was off. Your skirt was halfway down your legs. It would help if you hated this. You should use every muscle in your body to try to escape her. Or even better turn the tables and get a shot at winning this thing. But instead, you just pulled your panties to the side. Fuck it, you were losing, but at least you'd get a nut out of it. Sa-ra spread your legs and started rubbing your clit. ''You're already so wet. At least you're gonna make this easy for me,'' she said.

You noticed a camera in the corner of the room. Shit, was it even on. And was it broadcasting this online? You were completely exposed. So you decided you weren't going down without a fight, no pun intended. First, you leaned into Sa-ra's touch, making her think you were on her side. Then, you say ''Sara unnie, you know I feel so good. But I never come from fingers. They just make me feel full and satisfied, but it's never enough. Can you please lick me? ''

She probably questioned this, as she could feel how close you were, how your walls were drawing her fingers in, and how tightly your pussy was gripping her. But she said nothing, just obliged your request. Guess altruism wasn't dead. Either that or she was a really good dom top. And apparently, this wasn't the only thing she was good at. Lee Sa-ra could retire and eat pussy for a living. You were about to show her that you weren't lacking in that department either. Or should we say, eater? As she was getting more and more into it, she let down her guard more. And you decided to strike. While her face was still buried deep in your cunt, you buried yours in hers. Thank God for Sa-ra's love for dresses. You felt bad about ripping her designer clothes. But you were not walking out of this room without a fight. At least this way you wouldn't be a sore loser. You moved her underwear to the side and began eating her out. Shit, she was wet, possibly even wetter than you. Was this whole thing turning her on? You selfishly wished that this whole thing didn't happen and the two of you met in a normal way. If that were the case, mutual orgasms would be a given.

69 wasn't your favorite position. Or at least it hadn't been until now. Your bodies were pressed closely together, so with every move your tits were rubbing against Sa-ra's and hers against yours. Not only that, but every moan she let out was a vibration on your clit. Fuck, you could get used to this. You could feel yourself getting ready to cum, but Sa-ra was also close. So you kept your tongue on her clit and slipped a finger inside of her. And that was all she needed to finish. At the exact same second that you did.

At least this was over. There was no winner, no loser. Until you heard the voice on the speakers announce. ''Round 1, Draw. Please prepare for a tiebreaker.''

[yes0another0outsiders0blog]

Could you maybe do Darry Curtis x fem! Reader sfw alphabet please? I love your writing btw! :)

Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoy!! Out of personal preference, I am keeping my SFW Alphabets pretty gender neutral, but you can totally read them as more fem. Sorry, love.

Also, this man is one of my favorite characters in this damn book. I want nothing but the best for him. For some reason putting hcs into words was killing me this time, I'm so sorry if it's noticeable!!!

SFW Alphabet : Darry Curtis

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Not huge on PDA aside from holding hands and a kiss on the cheek. Pretty private about personal (especially romantic) relationships, people will know you two are together, it will be obvious in how you interact, but there isn't much open affection.

Around close friends, the gang, and his brothers, he's a bit (but not much) more affectionate. He'll call you a few pet-names (hun/honey, sweetheart, beautiful), might wrap an arm around you when you're sitting together, little things.

All alone, he'll pull you onto his lap or wrap his hands around your waist while you're doing the dishes, resting his head on you and giving you a quick kiss.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You know Darry from yalls school days. You two were good, but never quite friends. You interacted with each other, but more in passing or in group settings.

After graduation, you two just didn't really interact at all. You two weren't close or anything, there was never a reason to keep in touch. Later, you cross paths again and catch up a bit.

Being close friends with Darry is just a lot of little things. Having a scheduled day a week where you come over for coffee, going grocery shopping together, hanging out with his brothers a ton, etc. Also, hearing him vent. You're hearing about every single time Ponyboy is an idiot, in great detail. And he also trusts you as someone he can talk out his more serious problems with, because dude is going through TOO MUCH for his age (I'm 22 and my only obligations are myself and 2 cats, I could not IMAGINE being both younger and in charge of anything more serious than the shit I'm dealing with right now, give this man some support and a break, holy hell). He doesn't expect or want you to help with anything at all, he just wants to have an outlet to verbalize whatever is going on. You're there to listen.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Isn't one to cuddle often. That would require him to stay relaxed for an extended period of time and that's rare. Besides being a fairly busy person as *literally the only person in the gang with actual obligations and an ounce of responsibility* and essentially having to be there to put up with all of their bullshit, he is the type of person that needs to do something with his time or he doesn't feel productive. Even when he's going to bed, he is asleep so fast that cuddling isn't really an option, you can cuddle into him but he's already dead asleep so you aren't getting anything back.

If no one is expected to come around (which is rare because the door is always unlocked, his brothers are usually around, you're working with the assumption that someone's going to barge in whenever) he might have you sit on his lap while he reads the paper or something.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Pretty good at cleaning. Things aren't perfect and sometimes life is just hectic so things don't get done, but nothing generally gets absolutely disgusting when he's around. Doesn't mind cleaning, actually quite enjoys it. There may be piles of dirty clothes sometimes or laundry might not get folded or put up right away, and "weekly" chores might be a bit late, but it all gets done.

Good at cooking the basics. Darry is good enough in the kitchen to tweak a recipe on the fly and make it a bit better than it otherwise would be, but he isn't able to make entire meals based on what sounds like it would work out well. Isn't inventing any new dishes or anything.

If he met the right person he'd be willing to reconsider, but Darry mostly sees himself having a pretty traditional life in the future, not really by choice but more because its the 60s and thats whats expected. He's the provider, he works long hours. He would expect you to do the housework and cooking and such. Isn't 100% conservatively split about it, would still absolutely help out some and make dinner on his days off. Again, if you were like "yeah, that's not going to work out, we're going to be tag-teaming on this domestic stuff, I'm going to have my own money" then he'd be totally okay with that. It isn't preferred because there's more of a chance that you'll both be too tired from work and things won't get done, but if it's important to you then it's a compromise he's willing to make.

(I also like making him a househusband. I think if you made BANK and convinced him that you were okay with being the breadwinner, he can be convinced to stay at home and do the domestic work while also doing freelance. He wouldn't have the pressure to make money, so he'd be able to prioritize the home, but he'd also want to not be unemployed so he'd do odd-jobs fixing things for shorter hours than a normal job would have. Less realistic, perhaps, but man's been through it so he deserves to just be taken care of instead of having to take care of others.)

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

The most logical/mature about a relationship ending, but it can come off as a bit cold when you're hurt by it. Darry will sit you down and basically discuss whatever problem there is. He'll say "we either fix this or break up" and mean it. He'll definitely put in the work to solve whatever's going on, but if he feels that he's doing most of the work then it's over. Is disappointed by a breakup, is absolutely sad about it in private and a bit more irritable for a while, but life goes on. Sometimes relationships end, and he frankly doesn't have time to mope about it when that isn't fixing anything.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Would incorporate you into his life pretty quickly (having you stay over and doing dinner/chores/life stuff together). Introduces you to his brothers fast. That's pretty decent commitment because, like I touched on above, Darry can deal with a break up well but it's harder to separate when there are three people that are kind of attached to you rather than just one.

The entire gang really gets along with you, so they're all constantly asking when you and Darry are getting married. Hard to tell if that has any influence on when he proposes, but it's probably about a year or two in. Quick, but not irresponsibly so. Yall stay engaged for a long while, he wants you to be able to have a nice wedding (small and simple, but still nice) so he waits until both of his brothers are actually out of the house and he can *attempt* to save up the tiniest bit for it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Pretty gentle, but in a stereotypically man way specifically emotionally, if that makes sense? Like, genuinely an amazing boyfriend, treats you so good. But emotions aren't a strong point for him, he likes things that have reason and sound logic behind them. Likes to rationalize things. He'll give advice that you didn't ask for it and you just wanted him to listen, or will tell you that you're problems really aren't urgent/major. Will be very confused when you get upset by that. If you aren't the emotional type, then it's all good!! If you are, then he'll really try to learn when to just not try to "help" when you need him to be more gentle.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Likes hugs. Darry usually wraps his arms around you from behind when you're doing something. Any time he's in a good or sillier mood, you're getting picked up. Loves doing that thing where he, like, lifts you up and spins you around. If he's in a bad mood, he'll get a tiny bit clingy with you and tends to end up in long, silent embraces with you. They really give him comfort.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

A few months, maybe 4? He doesn't want to take things too fast or really anything, so it takes a bit. The gang (especially his brothers, ESPECIALLY Soda) tease the hell out of you two for being so in love way before then, and he usually tells them to shut the hell up. But one day when you're making dinner he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist like always, and he just says it. Shocked the hell out of both of you, he had a long day and just kind of blurted it out without even really meaning to, but obviously you love him too (how couldn't you?) so it was alright.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Trusts you fully. Does not get jealous hardly ever. If someone was clearly into you and flirting with you, he wouldn't care at all because he's confident you wouldn't be into it. Even if he caught the vibe that you were cheating or you were getting REALLY friendly with someone else, he wouldn't get jealous so much as frustrated that you would cheat instead of just breaking up with him. Very quick to want to talk out any issues, so misunderstandings are usually put to rest there. On the very rare occasion that he does feel jealous, he doesn't even mention it.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Usually a kiss on your forehead or the top of your head, quick and sweet are most common but slow, lingering kisses on the mouth aren't rare either.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Good with kids. Definitely the most responsible with kids, more strict than most. While not the "most fun" for kids out of the gang, Darry is way better than a lot of the gang gives him credit for. If he was in a position where he knew he was going to have to watch some younger kids for a day, he'd make plans to keep them entertained. Take them to the park and for some kind of small treat, would be rather active in playing with them if they wanted him to.

He doesn't want kids for a WHILE, after both of his brothers are out of the house he would prefer to have a few years at least. But kids are an eventually thing for Darry. Just one, maybe two.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

You two wake up fairly early so that he can get ready for work (he doesn't even work THAT early, he's just one of those people that likes to not feel rushed in the morning), you start some coffee and maybe get started on breakfast. Breakfast is eaten, and Darry goes to read the paper while you get ready.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

On an average night when yall don't have any other plans, usually dinner and hanging out with his brothers a bit. Pony goes to bed kind of early if he doesn't have anything better to do because he's a little bitch he has school the next day, and Soda usually finds something to do with his late evening/night. After they're gone, you climb into Darry's lap as he's sitting on his chair and yall just talk for a while until he's literally drifting off mid conversation so you two go to bed.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Doesn't get emotionally vulnerable early on, but also doesn't know the difference between basic information and deeper stuff. You'll say "tell me a bit about yourself" on the first date and he'll instantly start kind of trauma-dumping. You expect some hobbies or something and he'll start getting into how he had to give up on college to take care of his brothers after his parents died and your just sitting there like "damn... I really thought you would just tell me your favorite color or smth..."

Kind of doesn't know what to say, so will just give you various bits of his entire life story whenever something makes him think of some story to tell.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Easily frustrated or annoyed. Harder to properly anger, more likely to happen because it's been building up over several different things and he hits a breaking point.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Would remember most things, but also has the tendency to temporarily forget them. They just slip his mind, the second you mention it he gets hit with an "OH YEAH, I DID KNOW THAT" but he might forget things. Too much stuff, not enough brain space. It's a stress thing, a symptom of anxiety. He tries to remember everything. Big on intentionally doing things to help, he writes dates in a calender and if anything is important he'll make a note and kind of repeat information to himself.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

When you guys made your relationship official. You two had been friends for a little while before even dating, then dated a bit before you had to ask if you two were actually together or not. Darry was already pretty in love with you, tbh, he just wanted to take things slow because if you two were really together then there would be more expectations that he was afraid he couldn't meet. He felt that he couldn't give you the attention that you deserved in an actual relationship. You basically had to say "listen, my love, I *KNOW* that you're going through some shit, and I know your brothers are your top priority, and I know that you can't give me all of your time. I am signing up for this, I care about you and I want to be with you." And, holy fuck, he needed that so damn bad.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Will absolutely protect you if you need it, but hopes you don't need it. Like, if someone is treating you badly when you are literally just minding your own business then he's by your side INSTANTLY. If something happens when he's not there, he is one call away. He'll call someone to check on you usually, but in an emergency he will drop what he's doing for you instantly.

If you were being unsafe, being super unaware of your surroundings or picking a fight or something, he'll obviously still be there for you but will be mad about it. Will tell you to be more careful because that was easily avoidable.

Darry would prefer to just tell anyone messing with you to politely fuck off. Very "is this person bothering you, darlin?" and usually it works because he's a big guy, people aren't usually going to double down on being nasty/creepy/rude to you when he comes over. If need be, he will absolutely kick some guy's ass for you. The second some dude so much as touches you (whether pervy or violent), that dude is getting several broken bones.

If you found yourself in those situations often, he'd probably get you to carry a small knife or a makeshift pepper spray for self defense (pepper spray was invented in the 60s, but wasn't sold to the public until the 80s, but I feel like he would have you carry something similar because it's non-lethal and can be used at a longer range) because he can't really be around you all the time.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Always gives the relationship everything he's got, but what he's got varies wildly. There are going to be periods of time when he is able to put small bits of money aside for gifts and anniversaries, makes sure that he schedules out one date a week just so you two are guaranteed to see each other alone, does what he can around the house so you don't have to do it all, etc. There are also times when he doesn't get to see you or take you on dates, forgets anniversaries and has to make it up to you, etc. It isn't out of lack of effort at all, he feels terrible about it when things get like that, but it happens.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

It takes a lot to convince him to accept help. I think a lot of the guys have this problem, it's a problem that a lot of men have in general and in the 60s the gender expectations went even harder, but Darry can be especially bad about it.

Not only will he not let you help him with things, but he will also get too overwhelmed by having to put energy into a relationship too and will probably want a break (especially in the beginning) if he gets too stressed about other things. After you fight him on it, he'll realize that you actually signed up for this and are totally down to stay with him even when he's busy or exhausted or just doesn't have any time/energy/money to spare for you. He'll still feel hella bad about it, wants you to have someone that can give you the attention that he feels you deserve, but he's not putting your relationship on hold over it anymore.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Knows he looks good as hell, all of the Curtis brothers are super conventionally attractive and they know it. Darry also takes a lot of pride in his body. He isn't vain or overly caught up in his looks, but he isn't oblivious to them either.

He knows he's fine, he cleans up really well when he wants to, he does not care if he looks rough or unfashionable sometimes.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

No. He's whole outside of a relationship, a partner is extra. Very much of the mindset that a healthy relationship is when two whole people create something bigger than themselves.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Loves to know things, very into learning. Always looking into classes (though he doesn't have the money or time to take them, he just likes seeing what's there), huge on the importance of keeping up with the news and current events, reads a lot of nonfiction and watched documentaries. Likes facts, especially history and sciences like biology and earth science. Has a lot of skills that he's picked up and is always looking to pick up more. If you need anything done or you need to know anything that could be considered useless trivia, check with Darry first because there's a good chance he'll have an answer.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Lack of damn common sense, not being able to take a rational and honest answer. He REALLY tries to be understanding about it with the people that he cares about. It's a major issue between him and Ponyboy especially, but it could be a problem with any more emotional person. He doesn't get it at all, so it's SO frustrating when he has to stand by and watch someone make a stupid decision because they just refuse to by logical about it. Even worse when it turns into an argument, because he's usually objectively right but it's so hard to win against someone so intensely emotionally charged even when his points are completely sound and valid.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Sleeps in chairs 80% of the time. Doesn't mean to, he sits too long and he's out, though. Between that and work, he has no right to wonder why when his body is fucked up. No way it isn't catching up to him as he gets older.

[penny-the-pissed-poltergeist]

RWBY volume 2 episode 1 rewatch thoughts

.Bold move starting off with two new characters, especially ones that attentive viewers would know are villains

.Something really weird is that the old shopkeep never speaks past volume 1 even though he does in the first episode

.Considering how a lot fairy tales that are mentioned in show turn out to be foreshadowing lore, I'm kinda bummed that none of the books mentioned here seem to be linked to anything

.The window darkening switch things are really cool

.And Emerald and Mercury just straight up kill a guy, how many people have they killed and why did Emerald not even get a slap on the wrist later?

.Society if the text on Blake's notepad was decipherable and you could see her thoughts on Adam at that point

.Nora shooting cherry tomatoes(?) into Yang's mouth is weird and stupid and I love it. Let them be dumb teens

.Is Ruby calling her team (minus Weiss) "Sisters" where that one quote of Monty wanting team RWBY to be a sisterhood comes from? Because that quote has no other source to my knowledge.

.Ruby why are quoting Richard fucking Nixon, and why do I think that's the funniest thing ever RN. Oh god she a gun nut who fight protesters, did you vote for Trump Ruby? Did you? (this is all a joke before someone takes that in bad faith)

.Ah yes, one of the two real puns Yang actually makes in the whole series. And every fanfic author proceeded to have her be pun machine anyway.

.Wow Didn't expect them to show Weiss getting Creampied, that's kinda inappropriate don't ya think :)

.Neptune looks like what would happen if someone tried to combine Rex Salazar (Generator Rex) and Ninja (The Fortnight guy) genes into one clone body and it turned out defective (Can you tell I don't like him?)

.Shout out to whoever yeeted Jaune

.Whichever writer said that the foodfight isn't "100% Canon" or whatever is fucking coward. I get it's ridiculous but so is lot's of other stuff in this show

.Wouldn't putting turkey's on your hands get really fucking gross with all the meat juice

.Ruby surfing with a lunch tray gets a hell yeah from me, let her do Sonic the hedgehog type bullshit. Also shout out to that one animation someone made her breakdancing with Crescent Rose. I might dig through tumblr to reblog that later

.That one joking shot of Ruby holding Weiss was edited to remove the silly stuff in this volumes trailer, which can be argued to be straight up queerbait. Whiterose being teased as a joke is oddly thing in this volume and only this volume (also the anthology manga's but those are written by fans so that's not surprising)

.The first time Ruby becomes the rose pedal sphere thing is a scene you aren't even supposed to take as fully canon, also they should have let her do the giant vortex thing as part of her "real'' moveset

.I like to think the one of the reasons Ozpin didn't get mad is that this shit is kinda normal for Hunters

.God I fucking love Roman

.Emerald please, she doesn't care about you

.Eme and Merc are blood thirsty enough for Cinder of all people to tell them to keep their hands clean

.I forgot how funny Mercury can be

.Cinder he's a committed man, that's not gonna work

[mushroompollution]

The pair are setting up to play a video game together when Elliot's phone rings. "Oh what now," he complains as he fishes the device out of his pocket, only to sigh heavily. "Hold on, it's my sister," he says with a roll of his eyes before he answers.

Leo knows what that means. He settles back against his pillow and opens his book, getting comfortable. It'll be a while.

Those two could chat for hours, depending what all she had to talk about. And since it's been over two weeks since their last conversation, that would probably be a lot.

Though he does love to eavesdrop, Leo also respects his friend's privacy over anyone else's. He tries his best to tune him out and focus on the written words before him instead, but Elliot's loud voice and the way he paces across their room as he talks are hard to ignore. The valet is just about to leave for the common room when he hears the subject shift to a sensitive topic.

"It's not about short notice, damn it, I'm saying-- No! I don't want to go out with her at all! Just because we danced at my stupid birthday doesn't mean-- I don't care that you already sent a letter of approval, I said I'm not interested!! Because I just got-- I-- UGH--"

But by the sound of it, by pure coincidence, Vanessa must have approved a formal courting request. A tactic she often used, by approving and setting dates up for him, Elliot had a much harder time avoiding them. Not without making his family look unreliable and disrespectful, at least.

Leo sighs to himself. Elliot hadn't told his sister anything about Marcel, not about their dates or their breakup. She would overreact, and it would be humiliating if we didn't last, Elliot had insisted. Leo supposed that had been a good call.

Elliot's voice raises as he continues to argue with his sister. "Of COURSE I care about our future lineage, but it's not like it matters right fucking now!!!!! I'm not getting married when I'm still in school, so can you PLEASE back the fuck off?!! No, fuck that!!! I've already got Leo, WHY would I need ANYONE else right now?????? What do you mean what does he-- THAT'S NOT WHAT I-- URRRRGH FUCK YOU!!!!"

He does manage to control himself enough to hit End Call before those last two words. He hurls his phone as hard as he can, at least having the foresight to aim for his pillow.

On his own bed, Leo gives an impressed whistle. He mouths the word "wow" and gives a sarcastic little applause. His friend snaps a furious "SHUT UP!!!" in response.

"so you don't need anyone but me, huh~?" Leo teases. Despite his lighthearted tone, those words seem to resonate inside of him, a haunting, disarming echo.

But Elliot is still on his tirade. "No! Fuck you!! I know what I said and I meant it!!" he yells, doubling down. And Leo does shut up. "I'm sick of dating, and I'm especially sick of formal courting performative BULLSHIT. I don't want to waste my time on some awkward fucking evening with somebody I barely know, who either doesn't give a SHIT about me, or doesn't respect himself enough to speak up when he's unhappy. I'm MUCH happier right here, ordering some fucking delivery, and watching movies all weekend. THAT'S what I want in a relationship!!!!!!! But no, it's all 'everything changes or nothing does,' that's BULLSHIT. I don't WANT everything to change, I like THIS--"

Behind his glasses, Leo's eyes go wide.

"I don't need dates when all I look forward to is getting home to the one person on this miserable fucking planet who actually respects what I--"

But Leo doesn't really hear the rest of that rant. Elliot's voice is eclipsed by something else, that post that Leo had saved on his other, hidden blog.

He doesn't really know what he's doing.

But he sets the book aside and swallows down the lump inside his throat. Elliot's still carrying on as he slides from his bed, walking just a couple steps to catch the other man as he paces by with a firm hand on his shoulder. In one decisive motion, with no time to look back, he yanks his friend down to eye-level by his sleeve, and catches his lips mid-rant.

And just like last time, everything seems to stand still.

Elliot goes completely frozen at first, shocked and confused. But in a matter of seconds, he wraps his arms tight around his valet, pulling him so, so close, with one hand buried in that mess of thick, black hair. Leo's hand shakes on his shoulder. A quiet, contented moan slips from one of them. Elliot takes a step back, the other man still held tight against him, and the back of his leg hits the matress. The two fall into his bed, wrapped in each other, as they both try to selfishly devour this moment.

Finally, though, they separate, both struggling to catch their breath as the weight of their actions settles over them.

"W-what the hell...?" Elliot breathes. He keeps his arms around the smaller man, looking past disheveled bangs and thick glasses into a terrified night sky.

"y-you wouldn't shut up," Leo's response earns a look, and he knows how bad his friend wants to hit him.

Good.

That means that nothing's different.

"So you kissed me?!" though he sounds exasperated, Elliot doesn't yell.

Leo wants to look away. He wants to hide. To run away.

But he has to accept that he won't be comfortable sometimes, doesn't he?

He takes a deep breath.

"did you mean what you said?"

Elliot searches his face for some clue. "Which part?" he asks breathlessly.

"all of it." Leo does glance away, but he forces himself to look back into those blue skies again. "but mostly. that you're happier here..."

Elliot's grip on him tightens up, for just a second. That little squeeze makes Leo's chest hurt in an unfamiliar way.

"Yeah," his tone is gentle, especially compared to his previous tirade. "Of course I meant it. I meant every fucking word. As much fun as that first date was, I was so relieved to get home, get out of those clothes, and just. Talk shit. With you."

"but you kissed me instead..."

"I needed to know..."

Leo finally can't take it, pressing his head under his friend's chin. "i don't want everything to change. i really like the way that we are."

Elliot feels his stomach sink, but confusion rise. "Then why did you--"

"because now i know i want to kiss you, too."

A moment of silence falls, and Elliot gives him another gentle squeeze. Leo feels like he might break in two.

"Okay, but... Why does everything have to change?" Elliot asks, cautiously. The silence threatens to build again. "I know what we talked about. I know the rules and the traditions, and bullshit. I know we'd have to keep it-- keep this-- secret. But..." He takes a deep breath. "I don't like PDA anyway. And I have a feeling you don't either."

Leo shakes his head against the other man's chest.

"Yeah. Exactly. Why do we have to call it 'dating'? Why do we have to call it anything?"

Slowly, Leo looks up at him, eyes wide again.

"what about your duty to your family....?"

Elliot sighs. "I don't know. But I know I'm not interested in seeing anyone else right now, and. Look... When we were at Gil's last week, we uh. Talked. About lineage and... Stuff. About those expectations, and how whatever I do won't exactly be traditional anyway. So. I don't know. I don't want it to fall on Vanessa alone, but maybe I don't have to resign myself to marrying someone I don't want to be around, either."

Finally, Leo can't help but smile. "a lifelong bachelor, with his faithful valet, huh?"

"It's not like Fred was married. Claude was engaged, but I don't think Ernest was settling down soon. So..."

Silence, again. "so nothing changes. except..."

"We just add. Kissing, sometimes."

"in private."

"Obviously."

Leo takes in a deep, deep breath. "i want that," he admits, for the first time.

[porcelaintoybox23]

Completely Unhinged Review of Across the Spiderverse

This is just me losing my shit. Spoilers!

Gwen opening the movie is so fucking awesome. She has this wickedly cool drum solo where she gives her introduction and recaps the first movie. We follow her for the first 15-20 minutes, which was amazing, so amazing, cause I just knew she'd have amazing character growth and I also knew that she would be put into a morally compromising position. I knew she would be in conflict with Miles. I knew it and I was right. I went from loving her, to kind of hating her, but still loving her. Miles was not the main focus, but it was the perfect position for the continuation of his character arc.

It was so fucking funny. The animation is indescribable. They tripled, quintupled everything. Every visual, color choice, movement was even better than the original. The action scenes…I can't even imagine how they choreographed that. Insane, insanely good. The jokes were great even when it didn't seem appropriate to have them. It makes sense since a running gag was how spider people all use humor.

Oscar Isaac killed it as Miguel. He was such a threatening villain, and I'm so glad Miles called them out on their bullshit as well. “We have to let people die.” Yes, please tell Miles Morales to let his father die. Are you unwell? I wouldn't do it either, it's like fuck all of you. You're just letting people die for shits and giggles, not on my watch.

Now Miles is literally stuck in a separate dimension. There is this spot guy, who I think was a really good character arc of how underestimating people can kind of bite you in the ass because he’s actually a very serious threat that's still not resolved. There was a callback to the leap of faith when Miles was escaping the spider cult.

The callback of Gwen assembling the spiders. She went and got Peter B Parker, Mumbai spider man, spider ham, spider noir, penny, the cool black girl Miles flirted with, I like her. Spider Punk was so fucking annoying and also really fucking hilarious all “this is capitalism.” He’s like that guy you know, he has a meta commentary of every single fucking thing that doesn't need to be discussed cause hes punk, but he also has labels while eschewing labels.

I won’t say it’s as good as the first but it’s a perfect sequel that sets up the third film. I fucking loved it, even the awkward flirting and betrayal by Gwen and B Parker. It’s a 10/10, really a 9 but like a 9.9999999/10. So you know amazing .

I got a Gwen popcorn bucket head. She looked so cool. Go see Across the Spiderverse.

Miles wasn’t even supposed to be Spider-Man! It was supposed to be a different Miles who’s the prowler in his own dimension.

Did I mention he eluded capture from like 100s of spider people? That’s my baby, that’s my son who needs a haircut.

[tothestarsinvelaris]

(please no spoilers if interacting w/ this post. i have somehow avoided all TOG spoilers and know nothing more than the lil blurb on the back of the book and what i have read so far. thx <3)

{Finished reading Empire of Storms and Tower of Dawn}

hahahahaahaahaah!!!!! nobody told me I would be sobbing!!! I should have known, but instead I blindly and happily danced through these books until my heart was ripped out and thrown on the ground!!

(major spoilers below bc I need to write it out in order to begin processing what the hell happened?!)

Maeve is so evil I literally cannot process it. The entire scene with her on the beach with Aelin, Gavriel, Fenrys, Lorcan, Manon, Elide.... oh my heart.. I don't think I breathed during that entire scene. I literally had to stop reading to ready myself when Aelin took those lashes...

Rowan getting to the beach and growling out "where is my wife" actually shattered my heart. Maeve talking about how she faked the mating bond with Rowan and Lyria, and that Rowan and Aelin were actually mates?! ughhhhh His Fireheart. His equal, his friend, his lover. His wife. His mate. stopppppppppp i'm sobbbinnngggg

Lorcan realizing what he had actually done, what he didn't do for Aelin and Rowan.. him sobbing because he realized he destroyed everything and betrayed them... the way I know his heart just shattered over and over at Elide saying she wished he suffered forever and then completely ignoring him. the way he goes to Rowan and says he will go with him to save Aelin... oh my gosh idk why I love him so much, but I really do and I'm gonna need a Lorcan redemption arc in the next book or I will create a headcanon that nobody will ever be able to convince me isn't real. fix it bro!!

Lysandra being willing to pretend to be Aelin, to take Rowan as her king and sire children with Aedion to keep up the guise if needed.... ohhhh... to willingly give up her freedom for Aelin, for the world, after everything she went through... that woman is amazing.

I'm so mad that I like Aelin and Dorian so much bc I don't want either one of them to die for this stupid bullshit Elena pulled 1000 years ago!!! I'm so mad that I love all these damn characters so much!!

Chaol and Yrene getting married is honestly so damn cute okay!?! The life-bond?! ugh I love them so much. such a cute little bright spot in these books. the way that she's the light for his darkness is so fucking cute (and so elriel coded). Chaol seeing the note that Yrene carries with her and recognizing the handwriting!! ohhhhh man

All the favors that Aelin called in, everyone showing up for her like the damn Avengers movie?! Literally everyone, every single person she showed kindness to over her life, everyone showing up and being there to fight for her and with her to save the damn world.. Ansel, Ilias, Galan, the thousands and thousands they brought with them... and Aelin doesn't even know it. Rowan's cousins turning on Maeve's fleet in the battle?! ohhhh my heart is made of tears.

The 13 showing up because Abraxos (sweetest lil flower sniffing bby) went and found them, and they all followed bc they knew he would bring them to Manon. And how they fought instantly, and fell into step with Rowan, Dorian, and Aedion!?

How when Gavriel was called to Maeve, he left his shield around not only Aedion, but also Lysandra because he just knows and cares about them even if Aedion wants nothing to do with him. :( The way Gavriel has been kind of a sweetie the whole time and I just want to hug everyone in this damn series.

and the godsdamned ships in these books!!! ohhhhh my gosh!!! (idk any ship names bc I'm desperately avoiding spoilers still holy shit) Rowan x Aelin | Dorian x Manon | Lorcan x Elide | Chaol x Yrene | Nesryn x Sartaq | Aedion x Lysandra oooooooohhh myyyyy goodness!!

gosh, the way that everything is just connected, even the gods are represented in so many of them. the way the threads are there and always have been, pushing everyone along, pushing the plot along and putting all the puzzle pieces together slowly and perfectly and now it's all coming together. Ugh a series in which a re-read is well worth it so you can pick up on all the little bits and pieces throughout!! I can't wait to read theories and breakdowns and everything that people have connected and figured out over the years once I finish Kingdom of Ash!!

[sapphire-weapon]

I think people tend to ignore Leon fucking up (like with Shen May), because they have the mindset of "oh no, that's my favourite character! So he can't do anything wrong or have any flaws!" It's such a limiting way to think. I mean, I really like Leon too, but I'll openly say that he often gives me the fucking ick, lmao. The Shen May scene had me recoiling. Man's a stereotype of "that creepy guy at the bar" and he exudes that a LOT. I'm glad he was turned down. Even the characters we love need to be humbled when they're full of shit, because it's realistic and interesting. It's okay to think outside of the caveman "he good! no bad!"

Also, tacking on, because despite it being a different topic, I may as well stick to a singular ask. Jilleon is such a weird concept to me, lmao. I think for the most part it's treated pretty lightheartedly, but I'm confused because I couldn't really identify where it came from, other than that they're both attractive. I love Jill, but I don't see her reciprocating any attraction. Like, remotely. They get along fine, but I can't even see a close friendship. Maybe I'm biased though, cause I love her and as much as I enjoy Leon, dear god above he doesn't need another love interest. Also Capcom please just grow your balls and properly address Valenfield. We all know they're either a couple or have been pining for several decades.

I'm not gonna lie, if OG Leon asked me out, I'd have told him I had a boyfriend, too. Or maybe just even told him I wasn't interested in men all together. His approach is so... old-fashioned in a bad way. It's evidence that his development was arrested in 1998; he hasn't matured past that point, so he thinks that it's still a thing to just go up to a cute girl and ask for her number right after getting her name.

So like. I'm not surprised that it's pretty much exclusively early 20s and younger ppl who don't think he's trying to ask her on an actual date, because no one does that shit anymore. That was already out of fashion by the time I was in high school, even, and I entered high school in 2003.

But for any tiny childrens who are reading this: yes this is literally how relationships would start in the 80s and 90s. Out of nowhere and on a whim between complete strangers and just hoping it works.

Re: jilleon

Prior to Death Island, I would have agreed with you. 100% I didn't understand what the basis for it was, and I didn't think she'd be interested in him at all.

Then I watched Death Island. And I'm 85% sure that they've already slept together LMAO Chris dropped the ball between RE5 and DI, and Leon just kind of slid in there and took his shot and actually seems to have made it???

If I'm not mistaken, Jill is the only person other than Remake Ashley in the entire series who actually laughs at Leon's jokes. And she actually gets him to laugh out loud in return -- which is almost unheard of for him.

They just seem very comfortable around each other in general. Jill seems more at ease in his presence than she's been in Chris's since... Lost in Nightmares? And Leon is definitely more comfortable being with her than he is being with Ada or Claire. Like, Jill seems as comfy as a presence for Leon as Chris and Ashley are.

I just really like their dynamic in general. I don't think of them as romantic, but I see them as very, very good friends who just fuck every once in a while.

Like, Chris is still Leon's best friend, but their relationship is a lot more intense. But Jill is the person that Leon first thinks to call when he needs to nerd out about movies or to just bullshit in general. And then every so often, a text message conversation happens like:

"Gonna be in DC for a weekend for BSAA shit. Pick me up from the airport?"

"Sure. What hotel?"

"Staying with a friend actually idk if you know him. Leon Kennedy? In the DSO. Brown hair, blue eyes, giant cock?"

"Never heard of him. Sounds like he's in for a fun weekend though."