#man both leo and ether need extensive therapy

[noa-de-cajou]

CW for poor attempts at emotional manipulation, toxic behaviors, and just the usual Leonova bullshit

Domhildr (mentioned) belongs to @soupedepates

Let’s go lesbis

10/01/2025

Ether 💛 : I told you I needed to be at work on New Year's to help at the ER, Leo, we’ve been over this

Leo 🧛🏻‍♀️ : We get it. Your work is more important to you than we are.

Leo 🧛🏻‍♀️ : You even let Khaliun answer your phone when I called on Christmas. If I don't interest you for anything other than sex, just say so.

Me : Um, i was okay with it actually??? 😶

Ether 💛 : Leo are you for real rn?? If I could have spent the New Year's with you I would have!!

Leo 🧛🏻‍♀️ : Sure you would have. New Year's is fine but I'm not even allowed to go spend Christmas at your place.

Ether 💛 : I invited you??? You’re the one who said you couldn't come!!

Leo 🧛🏻‍♀️ : Because I knew you didn't want me around, otherwise you'd have insisted more

Ether 💛 : For fucks sake Leonova

Ether 💛 : I can't run after you all the time

Leo 🧛🏻‍♀️ : Good, I see you've stopped pretending to care.

Ether 💛 : …

Ether 💛 : I need to go back to work. Talk to you later

Leo 🧛🏻‍♀️ : How very convenient.

Me : Leo drop it ur being of bad faith rn

Leo 🧛🏻‍♀️ : Oh if you want to keep getting trampled on, be my guest, Khaliun.

Alright, that’s it. I'm sick of this.

Me : ur off work right

Leo 🧛🏻‍♀️ : It’s 8pm. Of course I'm off work. Why?

Me : Nice

Me : see u soon 😄

I turn off my notifications. I went to her flat with Ether to have coffee like five days ago. I don't really remember the way, but I have the address registered.

Maybe it’s a bad idea. But it'd be worse to say it by text where Leonova has the control and where Ether can see.

This can’t go on.

I like Leo. I don't think she’s a good or a bad person. I think she's funny, and witty, and pretty, and smart. I think she's also violent and mean. She’s not always like that, but it's been a lot more tense since Christmas. Ether just takes, then breaks up, then gets her back, then it's the honeymoon phase all over again. I've stayed silent. I've just watched. Not my relationship, not my business, right?

But it's my girlfriend who cries herself to sleep because Leonova can’t be bothered to think about how she feels. It's her fault if I get Ether calling me in tears every two weeks.

Her fault.

And my business.

***

“Um, Leo? There’s someone at the door.”

… She didn’t.

“It’s Khaliun.”

Nevermind. Of course she did.

“Do I let her in or…?”

Urgh. If I leave her at the door, I might find her sleeping there tomorrow morning. That girl is worse than a cockroach. Might as well get this over with.

“Sure.”

As soon as the door opens, her voice rings out. Ever so cheerful. Hi, Kalerich, how’s it going, you look a little pale, make sure to go outside from time to time, where’s your sis, oh right sorry my shoes. Grating. One can only wonder where she gets all that energy from.

She stomps to the living room. She's wearing an old band t-shirt with sweatpants, her socks are bright pink like a little kid’s, her cap is just as horrendous as I remember. Yet she still looks good. I hate that I can't say that she’s ugly without lying.

I close my laptop, she throws herself into one of the chairs. She's still smiling like a dumbass, but her smile is… different than usual.

“Didn't your parents teach you that it’s rude to barge into people’s homes past 7pm?

Khaliun laughs. Unfazed.

“Didn’t your parents teach you to treat your girlfriend right?”

…

There it goes. There it is. This is going to be about Ether, about how terrible of a person I am and how I should leave her for her own good. As if I don't already know that.

“Why are you being so pissy lately, Leo?”

Uh? No blaming? No screaming? What is she trying to do?

“Don’t look at me like that! I just want to understand!”

… Hah. Understand. Of course.

I get it. It's a trap, isn't it? She's going to make me believe I’m safe and then she’ll shatter me as soon as I lower my guard.

I’m not falling for that. I’m never falling for that again.

“You think you're so good, don't you.”

She blinks.

“What?”

“You think you’re so nice, so kind, that it makes you look so righteous to try to help me, like I'm some lost puppy. It might work on mellow-hearted people like Ether, but it’s not gonna work on me, Khaliun.”

She stops smiling.

I don’t think that’s ever happened before.

Good. Show me who you really are, behind all your good intentions.

“So you want me to stop being nice to you?”

“I want you to stop pitying me. I don't need you or anyone to do that. I’m doing perfectly fine.”

“You’re not,” she retorts.

Factually. Like it’s obvious that I'm not okay. I hate it. But she doesn't let me come up with a rebuttal.

“If you were okay, you wouldn’t have called on christmas. You wouldn't be projecting your insecurities onto Ether like that, either.”

Oh, so now she’s using the whole christmas ordeal as an argument against me. Of course. That’s what people like her do. That’s how they “help”.

“… I’m not projecting.”

She crosses her arms, frowning.

“You are. Ether does everything for you. She was worried she wouldn’t be available when you called on christmas so she said I could answer for her. She's always on and on about cooking your favorite dishes. She asks me for ideas for your dates. And what are you doing in return? And don’t say that you give good sex because I also do that.”

What I do in return?

…

“I’ve never given more of myself to someone. Ever. And I never asked her to do all of this for me, did I? Since when are relationships transactional?”

Khaliun sighs deeply, like I'm some kind of noisy kid in class.

“They're not. They're reciprocated. Not the same thing.”

Look at little miss not out of uni yet trying to play who’s the smartest. Trying to make me look like I'm in the wrong.

“Oh, I see how it is. Ether is the perfect girlfriend and I'm the homewrecker getting in between you two.”

“Stop twisting my words, Leonova.”

The words cut right through like stones. I don’t think she ever used my full name before.

“I never said you were a homewrecker. Fucking insecure is what you are. You know how I know? Because I know why Ether fell in love with you, I know why she wants you back every time, I know what you’ve been giving her in return. But when I asked you, you couldn't give me a single answer.”

My face grows hot.

She's right.

But you can’t let her say it.

Because if Ether finds out that you're giving her nothing, she'll leave you.

“Well, now I understand why you're in sports studies and not psychology. You'd be awful.”

“I don’t need to be studying psychology for that. You wanna know what you give her ? You give her a space where she can talk about her problems at work. You recommend books to her and she does the same and you both read the other’s recommandations. You make her laugh. You take her out when she’s feeling too down in the dumps. You give plenty of things I can give and others that I can't. But you can't be bothered to realize it!”

…

Why does she look so infuriated saying that of all things?

“You could be so good for her, and yet you still choose to behave like this!”

“Like what?”

“Like a bitch!”

For a few seconds, I'm rendered speechless.

She called me a bitch.

To my face.

I’m almost impressed.

“Say that again?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just true, I don't have a better word for it! I mean, fuck, you cheated on her!”

I dig my nails into my palm. So we’re going on this terrain now. Fine.

“Well. She had made it clear that she didn't want me around anymore.”

“You argued! It happens to everyone, yet not everyone cheats on their partner for an argument!”

I needed comfort.

I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me.

So I found a way to get both.

“Oh, so she can have several partners, but when I do it’s cheating?”

“Don’t play dumb. You know full well that's not what happened. You never told her, she had to find out on her own, and she still got you back. The act in itself wasn't the problem. What was is that you actively lied and that it was right after an argument.”

I remember the look on their faces.

Domhildr, the morning after, when she learned that I wasn't single and that my girlfriend didn't know I was here.

Ether, three weeks after it happened, telling me she had been told by the bartender that night, a friend of a friend, that I’d been with another woman. She got angry at me. She cried. Dumped me.

Didn't even resent Domhildr. She called her instead. I think they still text? I don’t know.

“That’s easy for you to say,” I groan. “You came by first. I’m only the second-hand partner. Why can’t I compensate for it sometimes?”

“... Is that really what you think? That you’re secondary? That Ether being poly grants you a free pass for cheating?”

I shrug.

I shrug?

Yes, I shrug. What else is there to say? I'm going to be the villain either way.

I've always been secondary. It’s not like it’s much of a change.

“What the hell.”

I've never seen someone look so flabbergasted. It’s almost insulting.

“I’m sorry I can't be perfect, Khaliun.”

She throws her hands into the air with an exasperated sigh.

“Perfect this, perfect that, perfect perfect perfect, is that all you ever think about?! No one asks you to be perfect, Leo!”

Liar. They all do. They all keep asking for more.

“What are you asking me, then?”

“To be better! Just that! Better! And to stop thinking that Ether must give you all the things that your parents didn’t give you, or whatever! Sure, you've been through shit, sure, you're very sad and unhappy, but that doesn’t mean that Ether has to be sad too!”

I'm not…

I’m not sad.

She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

“... You don't know anything about my family.”

“Uh, it's not that hard to guess. I know people who come from healthy families when I see some.”

Yeah. People like you and Ether. People who were given everything without ever having to ask. People who never had anything taken from them. People who were their parents’ pride and joy. People who were born in wedlock and never had to live up to their brother.

“Anyway, my point is, that's not an excuse to treat her like shit. You know what, maybe you hate me, and that’s fine! I get it! You don’t have to like me! But always putting that jealousy on Ether, like she’s somehow responsible for your feelings? That’s bullshit.”

…

I don’t hate you. To be honest, I wish I did. What I hate is how good you are, compared to me.

But I'd rather die than admit it to you.

“So what? Should I leave? Would that make everyone feel better? Would that help you get your perfect little couple?”

“Will you quit that?! I’m not perfect! Neither is Ether! You're the only one who’s obssessed with this! You know you’re not the center of the world, right? Not everyone is out to get you! Can you ever, I don’t know, chill out? It must be exhausting for you to live like that! And it's exhausting for us, too!”

I burst out laughing.

“Exhausting for you?”

Live one fucking day in my life and see if you're the exhausted one, Khaliun. I’d love to see you try.

“Yeah, exhausting for us.”

She huffs, shifts in the chair and leans in to look me in the eyes. There's pure anger glinting in there.

But it's not an anger I can control. Which makes me feel weirdly on edge.

“You wanna know why you’re going out with Ether and not with me, Leo?”

“Because I love her, and I don't love you.”

“Yeah, sure. But no. Like I said, Ether isn’t perfect. And her biggest flaw – you know what it is? It’s that she doesn't know her worth. Sure, she knows who she is, and she’s out in the open, never compromising on it, but just because you’re confident with who you are doesn’t mean you have any idea what you're worth. You know that full well.”

“... What are you getting at?”

She gets up. I'm smaller than her, and now that I'm seated and she’s standing she's towering over me.

“You don't like me ‘cause I know my worth and I take my decisions accordingly. Doesn't mean I'm not forgiving. It’s just that I don’t let people like you manipulate me or push me around, unlike Ether does. And you?”

She takes one step towards the couch. Towards me.

“You only date people that don’t know their worth because it makes you feel so much better about yourself. You know that if they start thinking they deserve good things, they'll leave you, because you don't think you're good.”

Another step. Then another.

“I don't think you’re lying when you say you love Ether.”

She’s right in front of me.

I can’t move.

“But there's one thing you love more than her, and that’s hating yourself.”

…

“I don't –”

Her fist makes contact with the wall right next to my left ear. She leans in, her face only inches away from mine, teeth gritted in anger.

“Stop. Just stop. I’m sick and tired of your excuses, of you hurting our girlfriend just because you like wallowing in self-pity and denial so much you hurt people just to stay and sink in it. Again, I don’t hate you, and even if I did you’d still deserve respect. But don’t think that the shit you pull has no consequences.”

She tears her hand away from the wall. Her knuckles are bruised.

“You hear me, Leo?”

It's the nickname that snaps me out of it. The nickname, and the tone that has suddenly gone soft.

How fucking dare she.

“I’m not going to be lectured by a little shit who isn't even out of school yet,” I spit.

Her eyes narrow.

“I don’t see why not. You've been out of school for years and you still act like a ten year-old.”

…

She’s right.

You don’t deserve her.

No.

No, she's wrong.

She thinks she can just barge in and play the victim.

That's it.

I’m done.

“Get out.”

“I’m not do –”

I grab the thing closest to me – a cushion – and throw it at her.

“Get out of my fucking flat, Khaliun!!”

She dodges, steps back, looking even angrier.

“Or what? Are you gonna call the cops on me because your ego’s hurt?”

Oh, you wish it was the police I wanted to call.

“Get. Out.”

Her chest heaves. She looks like she's about to cry.

Like a baby.

“... Fine. Be that way then. We'll see what Ether says when you go and complain like you always do!”

She leaves the room the same way she came in – stomping. I hear a silence when she puts her shoes back on, I yell,

“Go fuck yourself!!”

And the door slams shut.

My heart thumps against my eardrums.

A minute passes by, then Kalerich comes back in with a look of concern.

“... Leo, why is there a dent in our wall?”

“It’s my appartment,” is all I can reply, shakily.

“Okay, sure. Why is there a dent in your wall?”

Because Ether can’t fucking keep her bitches on a leash, that's why.

I grab my phone.

I won't be disrespected like this. Who do they think they are?

Leo, why is there a dent in the wall?

Because of her.

Leo, why is there a dent in the wall?

Because…

Leo, why is there a dent in your head?

…

And sent.

She’ll regret ever having set foot in this flat.

It’s not my fault.

It’s not my fault.

It’s their fault.

***

I get home at 6am after a whole night of being on watch duty at the hospital.

The group chat is flooded with messages.

I scroll back as far as I can.

Khaliun asking Leo if she's free.

A picture of a wall with a dent in it.

Outraged messages, from everyone, the pseudonyms are all jumbled up, I don’t know who's talking but they're all calling me.

Ether, say something!

Ether, are you going to let her speak to me like that?!

Ether this, Ether that, choose a side, Ether, pick a side, Ether, say which of us is right, Ether, tear your fucking heart and head apart for us, Ether –

I’m tired. I'm so tired. As if my days weren't tiring enough. As if the patients weren’t feeling bad enough, now I have to manage my girlfriend who’s never satisfied and my other girlfriend who acts out on her own.

I can't deal with this.

Me : I can't deal with this anymore. Don't even try to text me until you both get over your shit.

I leave the group chat, press their profile pictures, block, block, throw my phone across my bed and shut my eyes.

Introducing them was a bad idea. But Leo had insisted.

I can almost see Nenia looking at me disapprovingly.

Well, you had it coming.

I guess it's my fault for thinking they could get along. My fault for thinking I could love the both of them without getting bitten in the ass.

My fault.

Always my fault.