#man IVE GOT to watch the twilight zone

[klunk2003]

Line: “Right. Medium rare, like in that Twilight Zone episode…”

Speaker: Donatello to Augustus and April O’Neil

Context: Don and April use her Uncle Augie's artifact to travel to another dimension after recieving a message from him. The world Augie has been stranded in is technoligically advanced and inhabited by lizard people called the Brotherhood. Augie wants to bring the Brotherhood to earth to share their advancements, but Don discovers the Brotherhood actually wnats to eat humanity. Explaining this to Augie and April, Augie insists the Brotherhood just wants "to serve" humanity to which Donnie quips the above line.

Media origin: "To Serve Man" is an episode of the television series The Twilight Zone. It depicts a race of aliens called the Kanamits coming to earth in a humanitarian effort and sharing their technology. The Kanamits begin to transport the human race to their own world and it is revealed the Kanamits actually intend to cook and eat all of humanity. The episode originally aired on March 2nd, 1962.

Season & episode: S4E18 “The Trouble with Augie”

Episode’s original airdate: February 18, 2006

[imagekeepr]

Songs for Halloween Parties

Halloween parties offer the most wide open subject possibilities of any type of celebration. Halloween is the one day of the year that lets you be any living thing or dead thing, any occupation, any human or non-human and any personality type. You can be a cartoon character if you like. Since Halloween can go hundreds of different directions, the playlist will likely be a diverse list of novelty songs. The Monster Mash by Bobby Boris Pickett Rock Lobster by The B-52's Creep by Radiohead Everyday Is Halloween by Ministry Space Oddity by David Bowie Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo It's the End of the World As We Know it (and I Feel Fine) by R.E.M. Planet Claire by The B-52's Mad World - Tears For Fears Hell by Squirrel Nut Zippers Wicked Game by Chris Isaak Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack by Andrew Lloyd Weber Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon Black Celebration by Depeche Mode Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles Walking On The Moon by The Police The Fly by U2 Lola by The Kinks Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress by The Hollies I Wanna Be a Cowboy by Boy Meets Girl 2000 Light Years From Home by The Rolling Stones The Munsters TV Theme Not Afraid by Eminem Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down Enter Sandman by Metallica Superstition by Stevie Wonder People Are Strange by The Doors Evil Ways by Santana 1999 by Prince Revolution 9 by The Beatles Twilight Zone TV Theme Hotel California by The Eagles Season of the Witch by Donovan Psycho Killer by Talking Heads The Devil Went Down to Georgia by Charlie Daniels Band Highway to Hell by AC/DC Devil Inside by INXS Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran Thriller by Michael Jackson Super Freak by Rick James Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr. Le Freak by Chic Rapper's Delight by Sugar Hill Gang Girlfriend in a Coma by The Smiths Dark Lady by Cher Scary Monsters by David Bowie Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival Devil Woman by Cliff Richard Riders On The Storm by The Doors Runnin' With the Devil by Van Halen Sympathy for the Devil by The Rolling Stones Crocodile Rock by Elton John Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People Frankenstein by Edgar Winter Group Nightmare on My Street by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince Time Warp from Rocky Horror Soundtrack Rapture by Blondie She Said She Said by The Beatles Wanted Dead or Alive by Jon Bon Jovi Out of Limits by The Marketts Somebody’s Watching Me by Rockwell Bad Girls by Donna Summer Black Magic Woman by Santana Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses Welcome to My Nightmare by Alice Cooper Boris the Spider by The Who Jungle Boogie by Kool & The Gang Roxanne by The Police Back in Black by AC/DC Addams Family TV Theme The Blob by The Five Blobs Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson Take the Money and Run by Steve Miller Band Mama Told Me Not to Come by Three Dog Night Witchy Woman by The Eagles Speed Racer TV Theme Let's Go Crazy by Prince King Tut by Steve Martin Another One Bites the Dust by Queen Erotic City by Prince White Wedding by Billy Idol Hells Bells by AC/DC Fly Like an Eagle by Steve Miller Band Bad Bad Leroy Brown by Jim Croce Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult Tarzan Boy by Baltimore Rocket Man by Elton John Live and Let Die by Paul McCartney & Wings Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera Copacabana by Barry Manilow Black Cat by Janet Jackson You Dropped a Bomb on Me by Gap Band Zoo Station by U2 My City Was Gone by The Pretenders Eye of the Tiger by Survivor 99 Red Balloons by Nena Spirits in the Material World by The Police Monster by Fred Schneider Union of the Snake by Duran Duran They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha Ha by Napoleon XIV Rebel Rebel by David Bowie State of Shock by The Jacksons Walk Like an Egyptian by The Bangles Freakazoid by Midnight Star Low Rider by War Church of the Poison Mind by Culture Club Rebel Yell by Billy Idol Valley Girl by Frank Zappa E.T. by Katy Perry and Kanye West We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions by Queen All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix Strange Magic by Electric Light Orchestra Burning Down the House by Talking Heads Der Komissar by After The Fire Dr. Heckyll and Mr. Jive by Men at Work Taxman by The Beatles Monsters and Angels by Voice of the Beehive Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz Spiders and Snakes by Jim Stafford Secret Agent Man by Johnny Rivers 2001: A Space Odyssey (Also Sprach Zarathustra) by Deodato Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band by Meco Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead by XTC You Are a Tourist by Death Cab for Cutie The Joker by Steve Miller Band Run Through the Jungle by Creedence Clearwater Revival Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes Head Like a Hole by Nine Inch Nails Jerry Was a Race Car Driver by Primus Clap For the Wolfman by The Guess Who Fear of the Unknown by Siouxsie & The Banshees I Ran by A Flock of Seagulls Centerfold by J. Geils Band Black Velvet by Alannah Myles Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles, also The English Beat You Be Illin' by Run DMC Criminal by Fiona Apple Shout At The Devil by Motley Crue Weird Science by Oingo Boingo Swing The Mood by Jive Bunny and the Mix Masters Wild Thing by Tone Loc Whip It by Devo Planet Claire by The B-52's Legend of Wooley Swamp by Charlie Daniels Band Purple People Eater by Sheb Wooley The Freaks Come Out at Night by Houdini The Road To Hell by Chris Rea Billionaire by Travie McCoy featuring Bruno Mars Devil With a Blue Dress by Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels Rock Me Amadeus by Falco Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield Space Cowboy by Steve Miller Band Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash, also Social Distortion Walk the Dinosaur by Was (Not Was) Funky Cold Medina by Tone Loc The Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace N.W.O. by Ministry Paranomia by Art of Noise Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants If I Only Had a Brain by Lee Marvin from The Wizard of Oz Pink Panther Theme by Henry Mancini Orchestra Smuggler's Blues by Glenn Frey She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby Runnin' Down a Dream by Tom Petty Axel F by Crazy Frog (You've Got to) Fight For Your Right (To Party) by Beastie Boys In The Year 2525 by Zager and Evans Major Tom by Peter Schilling Man On The Moon by R.E.M. Happy Days Theme by Pratt & McClain Send Me an Angel by Real Life Convoy by C.W. McCall Particle Man by They Might Be Giants Pinball Wizard by The Who Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown It's a Mistake by Men At Work Synchronicity II by The Police Mr. Roboto by Styx Wipeout by Surfaris Evil Woman by Electric Light Orchestra King of Pain by The Police Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody by David Lee Roth Twilight Zone by Golden Earring Rockin' Robin by Michael Jackson Spooky by Classics IV Jungle Love by The Time A View To a Kill by Duran Duran Rain on the Scarecrow by John Mellencamp Love Potion #9 by The Searchers Cult of Personality by Living Colour The Candy Man by Sammy Davis Jr. Authority Song by John Mellencamp Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog The Bird by The Time Lil' Red Riding Hood by Sam the Sham & The Pharoahs Canary in a Coalmine by The Police Octopus's Garden by The Beatles Maxwell's Silver Hammer by The Beatles Puttin' On The Ritz by Taco Livin' La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin The Streak by Ray Stevens Bat Dance by Prince Theme from Greatest American Hero by Joey Scarbury Fame by David Bowie Eye In The Sky by Alan Parsons Project Devil in Disguise by Elvis Presley Mommy's Little Monster by Social Distortion Deadman's Curve by Jan & Dean Creature from the Black Lagoon by Dave Edmunds Zombie by The Cranberries The Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen Haunted House by Jumpin’ Gene Simmons It's Halloween by The Shaggs Dragula by Rob Zombie Witch Queen of New Orleans by Redbone I Was A Teenage Werewolf by The Cramps Eye of the Zombie by John Fogerty Halloween by Misfits Pet Sematary by The Ramones Horror Movie by Skyhooks The Raven by Alan Parsons Project Bloodletting by Concrete Blonde Feed My Frankenstein by Alice Cooper Don't Be Afraid of the Dark by Robert Cray Hypnotized by Fleetwood Mac The Scientist by Coldplay Run For Your Life by The Beatles Dig My Grave by They Might Be Giants Waltz in Black by The Stranglers I Put a Spell on You by Screamin Jay Hawkins, Creedence Clearwater Revival Ghost Riders in the Sky by The Outlaws, Johnny Cash Ghost of Tom Joad by Rage Against the Machine, Bruce Springsteen Dead Souls by Joy Division, Nine Inch Nails Swamp Witch by Jim Stafford I'm a Goner by Matt and Kim w/ Soulja Boy & Andrew W.K. Mekong Delta - Night on a Bare Mountain Nightmare by Brainbug In the Hall of the Mountain King by Sounds Incorporated One Piece at a Time by Johnny Cash Tequila by The Champs I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night by The Electric Prunes Nasty by Janet Jackson No More Mr. Nice Guy by Alice Cooper Backstabbers by The O'Jays Pets by Porno For Pyros Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins Ghost of a Texas Ladies' Man by Concrete Blonde Dr. Tarr & Professor Feather by Alan Parsons Project To Live and Die in LA by Wang Chung Pictures of Matchstick Men by Status Quo, also Camper Van Beethoven Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves by Cher Land of Confusion by Genesis I Fought The Law by Bobby Fuller Four Naughty Girls by Samantha Fox Jimmy Olson's Blues by Spin Doctors Nightmares by Violent Femmes I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie 42 by Coldplay Haunted House of the Century by Tangent Sunset The Warrior by Scandal Pacman Fever by Buckner & Garcia Planet Earth by Duran Duran Skeleton River by Tangent Sunset Junk Food Junkie by Larry Groce Everything Is Broken by Bob Dylan The Gambler by Kenny Rogers Shark Attack by Wailing Souls Season of the Witch by Joan Jett Superman's Song by Crash Test Dummies Brain Damage by Pink Floyd Paranoid by Black Sabbath He's a Vampire by Archie King Mad Scientist by The Zanies

[crue-sixx]

Forget Me Not

Title: Forget Me Not

Author: tiddly-winx

Fandom: The Dirt (Motley Crue Movie)

Note: Based in the HC "Remember Me" where the reader loses her memory but knows who the band is.

Summary: The reader is on stage with the band she dances/sings with when someone throws something at her and knocks her out cold.  She wakes up in the hospital and is scared shitless.  She had to run.

Warning: Swearing, smut mention, memory loss

It was a typical Friday night for you now-you'd been hired by the band Motley Crue as a back up singer/dancer while on the Girls Girls Girls tour.  You'd had some Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey in you but you weren't even buzzed when it was time to go on stage.  You kissed your boyfriend Mick a quick peck on the lips and wished him good luck, and he did the same for you.  You took your place next to Vince and you did your thing, all of you playing off each other in perfect sync. 

In the middle of Girls, Girls, Girls, you were dancing provocatively next to Mick-something you knew for a fact always got him going, him giving you a sultry grin that said he'd take care of you later.  As you turned from him, you felt something hit your head very hard.  

"Fuck!" Mick caught you, dropping his guitar.  The cut was tiny but it was bleeding very badly.  Vince ran over, taking off  his shirt to put pressure on the wound while Tommy and Nikki pulled the perpetrator on stage and proceeded to kick his ass. a few of the other fans joining in.  Security had called for an ambulance and you were taken promptly to the nearest hospital.

They had to postpone the rest of the tour until you got better, but they didn't know how long that would take.  Mick never left your side, him stroking the top of your hand with his thumb.  He'd talk to you like you were fine.  You heard everything he and other people said to you "Y/N...baby...please wake up..." you heard the desperation in his voice and you let silent tears fall.

It had been a week since you had been attacked, and you were showing signs of improvement-you were breathing on your own from the get go, and your body responded to outside stimuli.  But as you opened your eyes, everything came into focus.  You sat up, looking around for something familiar.  You were alone and scared, you had no memory of who you were and what you were doing here, but you saw a set of clothes that looked like they could fit a woman.  You ripped out the IV needles in your arm and quickly put the clothes on.

You peeked out of the room to see if there was anyone coming or looking and saw nothing.  You quietly left the room in a medium pace that wouldn't draw attention to yourself.  You exchanges plesantries to passerby who said 'hello' and soon you were out of the hospital and walking in the sidewalk.  The city was unfamiliar but you were starving.  You walked into a small cafe and ordered a coffee and bagel.  Of course you had no way of paying, so when you were done you made like a banana and split.

Back at the hospital, Mick had just come back from a food run to find an empty bed, hospital gown discarded on the chair, the clothes he had bought from the hotel for you gone and spots of blood on the sheets and floor.  Before he let real panic set in, he stopped one of the nurses and asked "Did you take Y/N L/N for some tests?"

The nurse said "The doctor hasn't ordered any tests for her..." she looked into the empty room and rushed to the phone to call for a missing patient.

"What the fuck?!" Mick growled "isn't it your job to make sure all the patients are accounted for?!"

Just then Tommy, Nikki and Vince came in with fresh flowers to see the commotion and confusion "Mick, what's going on?" Tommy asked.

"These asshats lost Y/N!" he was shaking in worry and rage.

"What?!" Nikki yelled "How is that even possible?!"

The hospital director came down and looked at the security camera footage from the hallways.  It had showed you in the clothes Mick had bought you, just walking through the hallway and then out of the hospital unhindered.  The director was beyond livid and he turned to the staff on duty "You're all fired.  Collect your property and get out" the stunned staff sat in silence, then gathered their belongings and left.

"How the fuck are we gonna find her?!" Vince hissed.

"We have to call the news and put out a be on the look out order.  She doesn't have any money but she needs to eat right?"

"That's true" Mick said, calming down a little.  "We can put the number to our hotel room on the screen and ask if anyone had seen her please call us..."

During the press conference, he held up your picture, said your name and where you had escaped from.  "She is not at all dangerous" he stated "If you see her, please guide her gently to a police station and call this number.  You can reach me directly there.  Also she may have some brain damage and/or memory loss.  Please be as patient as you can with her..."

The waiter who served you at the cafe recognized you right away, as you had dined and dashed on him.  At first he was mad as hell but after hearing what was wrong with you he wanted to help.  He called the number and spoke with the man from the news.  You had stopped at the cafe about 1pm, were finished in about half an hour and left without paying.  Soon more calls came in and they had established a timeline of your whereabouts.

The talk with your parents was awkward, your father yelling at him for leaving you alone in an unfamiliar place.  Your mother straight up refused to talk to Mick, he was already kicking himself for not ordering from the hospital kitchen instead of going to the cafeteria.  "I know I fucked up Mr. L/N, but I need to know if there's anyplace from her past that Y/N would be drawn to?"

Your father thought for a moment and gruffly said "Los Vegas.  Her grandparents lived there before they died.  She loves it there, just outside the Los Vegas strip there's a small motel we always stayed at when we went to visit" the sounds of papers shuffling "here's the number..."

By now, your disappearance had made national news, but you never stuck around one place long enough to listen to anything.  You had to get to Vegas, to the one place you remembered was safe.  You were right outside the off the road motel and you went into the office to see if you could con yourself a room for a few days and then skedaddle before management even knew you were gone.  When you waked in, the clerk at the counter was watching a portable tv.  He looked up at you, did a double take and said "How may I help you?"

"I need a room for a few days" you said "I can't pay right now but at the end of my stay I can!  I'm hoping to win big on the strip!"

Normally the clerk would have laughed you out of the office and told you to go fuck yourself, but you were the missing woman on the news, and the most recent report said that you might be heading this way and he had a feeling that he needed to take down the number he saw on the news just in case.  He dialed it and said "Is this Mick Mars?"

"Yeah who are you?" the tired voice scratched out.

"My name is Mike Benson, I'm a clerk at the Palm Tree Motel in Vegas right outside the strip.  Your lady friend's here.  I just gave her a room for a few days.  How fast can you get here?"

"I can be there in a few hours" the voice perked up, him hanging up the phone and booking the next flight to Vegas.  From what people had told him, you'd seemed confused and paranoid when they interacted with you so he told the band what was going on and said he needed to go alone, in case you got overwhelmed and ran away again.  They understood and wished him luck, telling him to take all the time he needed.

You were just so tired from walking and hitch hiking the past few days.  You would learn later that you waked or hitch hiked all the way from Los Angeles to Los Vegas.  How you'd managed to do that you didn't know but you were safe here, so you laid down to take a well needed nap.

It was just after sunset when Mick came into the lobby of the Palm Tree Motel, the clerk being the same one he spoke to "Mike Benson?"

"That's me" the clerk answered "She's in room 231" he passed a key to him.  "Go get er, man".

"I can pay for the room later" Mick offered.

"Don't worry about it" Mike smiled at him "it's on the house."

Mick was grateful that all the places you had dined and dashed from wouldn't accept any payment from your meals, they all understood what you did wasn't your fault and let it slide.  You hadn't ordered anything fancy-just some soup and water.  They just wanted you back safe with Mick.  

Outside room 231, he took a deep breath and turned the key.  You were sleeping peacefully in bed, he had begun blubbering like a child when he saw you.  You didn't appear to have any other injuries other than the healing bruise to your head, the cut having scabbed over.  With a shaking hand, he reached out and stroked your hair to make sure you were real.  You stirred under his touch and opened your eyes "Mick?  Why're you crying?"

"You remember me?" he said through sobs.

"Of course, baby" you said "Why wouldn't I?"

He was silent a few minutes "What's the last thing you remember?"

"What's with all these questions?" you asked confused "You act like I was missing for a while!"

"Y/N, you WERE" he turned on the TV to the news where you saw your picture plastered all over the place, saying you were found.  

You looked at him in frightened confusion "What the Hell is going on?!  Did I die and wake up in the Twilight Zone?!"

He held you close to him, you were shaking with fear "I'm right here baby..." he rubbed your back, taking in the familiar scent of vanilla and honeysuckle.  He was so relieved to have you in his arms again. "What's the last thing you remember?"

The memories were jumbled in your head, you taking a moment to put them in the right order.  "We were in stage in L.A. and I was teasing you when a glass bottle flew at me..."

"That's all true, babe" he held your hand and went on "You were in a coma for a week before you just up and walked out of the hospital" you were even more confused than ever.

"Why would I just walk out?  That's not like me at all!" you laughed a little, but you knew it wasn't funny.

"The doctor said you most likely went into a fugue state.  Like you forgot who you were.  Because you didn't see anything familiar when you woke up" he looked at the floor, ashamed of himself when you lifted up his face.

"Not your fault babe" you leaned backward with him on top of you "The hospital staff should have been watching me..." you started kissing him, you feeling like you missed his touch for a whole year.  He reciprocated at first,but stopped.  "What is it babe?"

"I can't do this..." he got off you.

"What?  You don't want to do it with me?" you asked, thinking he didn't want you anymore.

"Yes" he admitted "I need to be close to you, but I want to make sure you're okay first.  I want to have the doctor at the hospital who looked at you when you were admitted to see if there's any lasting brain damage..."

You smiled weakly and said "Okay Bob" he grinned at that, you only calling him by his actual name on rare occasions.  You were one of very few people who knew his name.  You two cuddled, each taking in the other's scent and bringing back even more memories.  

Back in L.A. each of the band hugged you for a long time, then your parents.  You were surprised to see news people there too, but you'd grown used to paparazzi swarming you since you and Mick started dating two years ago.  The doctor looked at the scans of your brain and saw no lasting damage.  You were cleared to go back to your normal life, granted that you'd have to be with someone at all times.

When you got home, there was a nice dinner with wine waiting for you and Mick.  He was just as surprised at you were, seeing a small note on the table in between two candles "Just heard the good news!  Have fun! Nikki, Tommy and Vince" you laughed softly at that, the two of you enjoying each other's company.  After an hour of the slowest, sweetest love making you two had ever shared, you cuddled close to his chest.

"Hey, Y/N?" he asked, the sweat on his skin leaving the surface moist.

You looked up at him "Yeah babe?"

"I love you" he leaned down and kissed you deeply "I'm sorry you had to wake up scared..."

You rolled your eyes at him "I told you many times, it wasn't your fault, Mick!  Stop blaming yourself!"

"I know, but if you had been killed while you were confused I would have lost my damn mind..." he bought your hand up to eye level and for the first time you saw a beautiful blue sapphire ring on a very important finger.

"Mick when did you-?" you asked, the thing taking your breath away.

"When we were making love just now" he slyly smiled at you.  "I was gonna ask you that night when we got back to the hotel but then the shit hit the fan" he locked eyes with you "So you want to marry me?"

"Yes, Bob Deal I'll marry you" he leaned in to kiss you again, this time with more hunger.  You raised your eyebrow at him and asked "You sure you want to go another round?  Your back will be aching tomorrow!" you teased him.

"Hell yeah, Y/N" he pulled you onto his lap "we gotta make up for lost time!"  you laughed, accepting both his proposals and giving him your life and in return he gave you his.

[adriannaelle]

Treehouse and Chill

The Simpsons reached another milestone this year with the recent airing of its thirtieth “Treehouse of Horror” special which, coincidentally, is the show’s 666th episode. While certainly not the best installment of this annual series, “Treehouse of Horror XXX” was pretty funny. Still, even the funniest jokes in this episode pale in comparison to some of the classic “Treehouse of Horror” specials. To this day, iconic segments such as “The Shinning”, “The Devil and Homer Simpson”, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, and “Citizen Kang” are still hard to top.

So, in honor of Halloween, thirty years of scary tales, and 90’s nostalgia, I want to briefly discuss my favorite five episodes of the Treehouse of Horror series. As always, ranking articles like these are subjective and are based on personal taste. Therefore, I don’t care if you nor yo’ mama thinks “Treehouse of Horror III” was trash. It’s still going on this list!

Alright, let us continue.

Honorable Mentions: “Treehouse of Horror II”, “Treehouse of Horror VIII”, and “Treehouse of Horror X”

Number Five: “Treehouse of Horror VII” (Season 8, Episode 1; 1996)

Although “The Thing and I” was a strong first segment, I enjoyed it least in “Treehouse of Horror VII”. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the story was pretty funny, I just like the second and third stories better. However, I do have a bone to pick with the ending of “The Thing and I”. Instead of confining Bart to the attic, why not keep both Hugo and Bart around after they discovered Bart was the evil twin? I mean, the family already lived with Bart for 10 years. They might as well kept the mistake going.

“The Genesis Tub” was amusing.  It may be the creative in me, but I really enjoy the concept of creating your own world and overseeing it.  Still, I felt the ending of “The Genesis Tub” was a bit abrupt.  I feel like the writers could have done so much more with the concept of Lisa creating and ruling her own Universe. Maybe she could have assaulted Bart with more fighter pilots. Maybe she could have built a massive ray gun a la the ray gun seen in “Citizen Kang”.  The ideas are limitless.

Speaking of “Citizen Kang”, this story is one of my favorites in the entire Treehouse of Horror series.  It's a brilliant satirical take on elections in the United States and the country’s politicians.  I especially like how the writers make fun of our ridiculous two-party system.  Like really, are our only choices between a drooling, Gangreen Gang, cyclops squid, and his twin sister?  Ross Perot should have brought up Kang’s and Kodos’ emails.  That always works.

Number Four: “Treehouse of Horror III” (Season 4, Episode 5; 1992)

Akin to my feelings about “Treehouse of Horror VII”, I’m only a big fan of two of the three segments in “Treehouse of Horror III”.  “King Homer” was just a’ight to me. Granted, the segment did have a great exchange between Mr. Smithers and Mr. Burns about the former’s distaste of seamen and women mixing.  Yet overall, I didn’t get a kick out of this story as much as I did the other two.

“Clown Without Pity” is a parody of the lauded Twilight Zone episode “Living Doll”.  This segment had its share of funny jokes, particularly the line from Patty about losing the remaining thread of her heterosexuality after seeing Homer horrifically run through the house butt naked.  I also like how the key to turning off the Krusty doll’s murderous rage, is switching the lever from “evil” to “good”.  Like, what happens if the lever accidentally switches back?  What if it breaks and he gets stuck on “evil”?  Take the doll back and get a refund!  Like, what are y’all doing?!

Finally, there is “Dial ‘Z’ for Zombie”.  No matter how self-aware I am about the absurdity of my kinemortophobia (fear of zombies), I still have it.  That is why I hated this segment as a child.  But as a grown woman, I find this story very funny.  It’s a pretty simple zombie story, but the jokes strewn throughout are what make it a highlight of the series.  The joke about Homer being immune to the zombies because he lacks brains is one that stands out in particular.  Also, what are George Washington, Albert Einstein, and William Shakespeare even doing in Springfield?

Number Three: “Treehouse of Horror IV” (Season 5, Episode 5; 1993)

Choosing between “Treehouse of Horror IV” and “Treehouse of Horror V” as my second favorite episode of the series was the hardest.  Ultimately, I prefer V ever so slightly over IV, but IV is a heavyweight in its own right.  “The Devil and Homer Simpson” shows just how far our dimwitted protagonist is willing to go to get his favorite, sugary snack.  You got to be desperate as all hell to sell your soul for a donut!  Other than Homer’s enjoyment of his ironic punishment, the best part of the segment is the trial itself.  The Devil’s voir dire game is trash.  How do you select the jury and still lose the case?  Never hire this man for anything.

“Terror at 5 ½ Feet” is yet another hilarious spin on an old Twilight Zone classic. This parody of “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” stays true to the basic horror elements and story structure as the original tale, but, of course, adds its own Simpsons brand of humor to it. However, unlike the original, Bart is still tormented by the gremlin after he’s hauled off to the psych ward.  Side note, Ned Flanders really took a lot of L’s in this episode.

I’ve never seen nor read the original Dracula, so I do not know how faithful “Bart Simpson’s Dracula” is to the original story.  Well, I guess that doesn’t really matter here because this story is so funny and scary that it holds your attention from beginning to end.  From the super happy fun slide that leads to the vampires in the basement to Homer staking Mr. Burns (Burnscula?) in the crotch, this story provides many laughs that make this story a classic.  Also, the plot twist that Marge (Margecula?) is really the head vampire is funny as hell.  Sorry if that was a spoiler but in fairness, this episode is 26 years old now.

Number Two: “Treehouse of Horror V” (Season 6, Episode 6; 1994)

“Treehouse of Horror V” is solid from beginning to end.  “The Shinning” is firmly in my top five list of favorite Treehouse of Horror segments.  This segment has several hilarious moments, from Homer taking three days to make the voyage to the cabin due to his forgetfulness to the blood not getting off at the right floor, to that scene where the complete lack of television and beer made Homer go . . . something . . . hmm.  Well, anyway, I can definitely say that every time I watch “The Shinning”, I’m feelin’ fine.

“The Shinning” is not the only highlight of this episode.  Homer’s time-traveling escapade in “Time and Punishment” introduced us to numerous interesting alternative timelines that ultimately drove Homer to a pure state of “IDGAF” at the end.  Still sucks that he missed out on that donut rain.  That timeline would have smacked!  

This episode’s final segment, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, truly is the stuff of nightmares. I mean, it’s super funny now that I’m grown, but this segment used to legitimately scare me as a child.  It also didn’t help that I was a fat kid.  Like, imagine living your best life and then the next moment, you’re Ms. Wilson’s Fried Adri.  Woo, chile.

Number One: “Treehouse of Horror” (Season 2, Episode 3; 1990)

It’s often said that nothing beats the original, and in the case of Treehouse of Horror episodes, this sentiment rings true.  The very first Treehouse of Horror is the greatest episode of the series.  One of the highlights of this episode is the dulcet baritone of James Earl Jones as the mover, Serak the Preparer, and the narrator of “The Raven”.

The first segment “Bad Dream House” is a comedic spin on the classic haunted house movie trope.  The quintessential 80s style horror music that accompanies the story throughout greatly adds to the mood of the piece without overdoing it.  The conclusion of “Bad Dream House” is what makes this story so funny.  The house destroys itself rather than live with the Simpsons. I don’t know what it feels like to be curved by a house, but it must make you feel all kinds of insecure.  

“Hungry Are the Damned” is our first introduction to Treehouse staples Kang and Kodos.  It is also our introduction to the sorely missed Serak the Preparer, who definitely needs to return at least once in this series.  This segment parodies the classic Twilight Zone episode “To Serve Man” and gives us a humorous plot twist at the end.  I suppose this episode also serves as a sort of origin story of Kang’s and Kodos’ beef with mankind because this is the only episode where they are genuinely nice.  Dang, all Lisa had to do was sit down and eat her food. Literally.

Finally, there is “The Raven”, which is absolutely my favorite segment in any Treehouse of Horror Episode.  What I like most about “The Raven” is how the crew manages to add comedy to the piece without losing any of the mystique of Edgar Allen Poe’s riveting poetry.  It also made this poem a bit easier to understand, which I greatly appreciate.  It’s a refined piece of television without the pompousness of the bourgeois.  In short, I like it. 

Honestly, no matter which of the thirty Treehouse of Horror episodes you like best, all are great for watching on Halloween for squeamish, easy-to-scare people like me.  So for those of us who aren’t bravely equipped to watch the more realistic, gory, and scary productions, I highly recommend binge-watching these episodes for some softer scary vibes and lots of laughs.

[gumnut-logic]

Prank War IV - You can’t stop the music!

Title: Prank War

Warm Rain Series

Author: Gumnut

6 - 8 Nov 2018

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: it was war.

Word count: 3215 (Part IV) - Total 5098

Spoilers & warnings: Virgil/Kayo, crackfic

Timeline: After ‘Home’ and before ‘The Proposal’.

Author’s note: This is total crack. I blame a combination of the lurgy that is messing with my muse and @vegetacide who inadvertently asked for it.

From this conversation. 

Nutty: Are you requesting a whump? 😁

Veggie: No.. Not me.. I want one with fluffy unicorns and rainbow farts.. Lol

Nutty: Really??

And here is the last of the crazy :D I hope you enjoy it :D I’m feeling much better now :D

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

Prank War I - Rainbows Prank War II - Jello Prank War III - The Unicorn

Prank War IV - You can’t stop the music!

It started with his alarm.

Usually Gordon was woken in the morning to the slowly increasing sounds of the ocean, a little whale song and a few waves crashing on the shore. It was a nice comforting way to slowly ease out of sleep. It gave him energy. It got him slowly geared up and into his morning routine.

AC/DC suddenly screaming out ‘Big Gun’ at the full volume his alarm was capable of didn’t quite have the same effect.

Gordon shot up and fell out of bed.

The floor was hard first thing in the morning.

As the song played out, he rolled over on the floor groaning. Okay, okay, I’m up. He aimed to turn it off. Somehow the alarm ended up in pieces on the floor.

Great.

He sat there for a moment and let his heart rate slow and his circulation catch up. There were only two possible reasons his alarm had done that...Virgil’s revenge...or, well, yeah, Virgil.

Gordon took a deep breath and stood up. He had no doubt there would be more. An altered alarm clock just did not add up to alginate in the pool.

He had to admit it. That had been some damn good revenge. It had taken days. Days. To get the stuff out of the pool. And for a good part of it, Virgil had sat on the balcony with a smirk on his face just watching Gordon dig it all out.

Alan had helped. Gordon loved his little brother.

Virgil, however.

He twisted his lips. Virgil was a challenge. Of course, the man was a loveable bear, and he couldn’t resist poking the bear.

It had just escalated recently.

Gordon reached for his swimwear and frowned.

What was that sound?

He made the movement again.

The sound happened again.

He grabbed his swimwear and began to change.

The sound became instrumental. Orchestral. Tuba? Trombone?

The theme from Jaws.

Each time Gordon moved, a strain from the theme echoed throughout his quarters. The faster he moved, the faster the music. The slower he moved, the more paced and threatening the music.

He looked about the room, but couldn’t see anything obvious that could be following his movements.

Experimentally, he walked into the bathroom.

“I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts...”

He yelped. It was at full volume and threw him back into his bedroom.

Jaws resumed.

Okay, Virgil, you smart ass, I’ll give you this, it’s creative.

Jaws followed him into his living room and out into the corridor with his towel.

When he hit the kitchen, the soundtrack switched to the Beatles and “Love Me Do.” Which wasn’t too bad, he didn’t mind the occasional Beatles track.

Moving out onto the patio, however, proved to be bit more of a challenge.

Italian Opera was never really considered motivational for swimming or any other kind of exercise. Between the smell of the slowly decaying alginate to the west of the pool and the accompanying music, Gordon’s exercise routine was cut short.

Returning to his room brought back Jaws, however his bathroom chose to sing ‘Agadoo’ during his shower.

On loop.

By the time he was fully dressed, he had just about reached his limit.

He activated his comms. “Virgil?”

“The Thunderbird you are trying to contact is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the...” And his comms let off an awful screech.

Okay, so he jumped. He’d admit it. He was used to relying on the infallibility of IR equipment. But then if comms was involved with this, then that meant...

John.

He tapped his comms again.

“John?”

“You rang?”

Blink. “What are you doing?”

“Eating breakfast.” As if to prove it, there were some sloppy chewing sounds on the line.

“Are you siding with Virgil?”

“What do you mean?”

“In the prank war.”

“Is there a prank war? Sounds highly unprofessional.”

Gordon grit his teeth. “Which is why I’m finding it hard to believe that you are involved.”

“And what could you possibly think I have done?”

“There is music wherever I go.”

“Nope. That was totally Virg.” There were more chewing sounds. And a belch.

“Ugh, gross.”

“Better out than in.” Another burp. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“What? Are you on something?”

“Thunderbird Five, but I thought you knew that.” And then the line cut off

“John? John!”

“The Thunderbird you are trying to contact is currently unavailable. Too bad, so sad, go eat a lemon.”

Okay, that left him trying to stare at his collar.

John was definitely in Virgil’s pocket.

Jaws once again followed him down the corridor, but upon entering the kitchen it switched to piano music.

Virgil’s piano music.

Kayo was sitting at the breakfast bar with a bowl of fruit salad. “Good morning, Gordon.”

“Hey, Tin.”

He chose to ignore the music, perhaps if he paid it no attention it would simply go away.

“This is truly a lovely piece of music. Virgil is quite talented.”

Gordon grit his teeth. “Yes. Yes, he is.” He dug the butter out of the refrigerator before diving into the bread bin.

“This piece is special.” An involuntary glance at his sister found her gazing somewhat dreamily at the ceiling, her fork waving a chunk of pineapple on its tines.” I was there for both the inspiration and the writing of this piece. It is written so well, I can hear the waves on the beach, feel the sand between my toes, his hands on my skin...”

Gordon dropped his butter knife and it clattered across the floor.

“Virgil is very good with his hands.” Tin’s smile was lascivious. “Of course, he does quite well with the rest of his body as well.”

Gordon stared at her.

“He has a very nice tongue.”

Gordon fled.

But it got worse.

The moment he hit the comms room, the music switched to the godawful ‘It’s a small world after all’.

If there was a song out there that promoted ripping ears out that was it.

“Ooh, I like this one.” And to Gordon’s horror, Alan, who had been sitting on the couch playing his computer game, started singing along.

“What? How? Whose side are you on?!”

“Huh? It’s a cool song.”

“It’s a horrible song. How can you possibly-?” This had to stop. “Where is Scott?”

“In Bermuda.”

Gordon blinked. “What?”

“He’s taken a weekend and gone to Bermuda. Apparently, he has wanted to go for a while.”

“How could he do that?”

Alan frowned. “He deserves a break, Gordon.” He turned back to his game. “Big Bro hardly ever gets to relax around here.”

“But what about International Rescue?”

“Eh, we’ll survive. Virgil and the rest of us are here.”

Virgil.

“Yes, and where exactly is Virgil?”

“Dunno. Probably still in bed. You know him, midnight to midday if he could.” And his brother started humming along to the damn song again.

Aaargh.

Okay, okay, take a deep breath. Get out of the house. “I’m going for a walk.”

“Cool.” Alan went back to his game, still humming that damn song.

-o-o-o-

Gordon set off along the cliff tops to the eastern side of the island, his shoulders still tense, muttering under his breath. For the first few steps he revelled in the sudden quiet, but just as he turned the corner, finally out of sight of the villa, a train whistle echoed amongst the rocks.

And a kids choir started singing.

We'll sing a song for Gordon

He's big, he's fast, he's proud

His paint is blue, so strong and true

And his whistle's really loud

The fastest train on Sodor

You can't forget his name,

So when we've sung for Gordon, well

Let's sing it once again.

 His jaw dropped. Oh god, no, not Thomas the frickin’ Tank Engine!

And the song looped.

Awwwgh. He had fists full of hair.

Young Alan had absolutely adored that damn program as a toddler, and when he discovered one of the engines had the same name as his big brother...

Oh, the ear worms.

Gordon rubbed his face in his hands.

But he kept walking. Maybe he could out pace it.

Halfway around the island, it faded out and Gordon sighed.

Then Virgil’s voice echoed amongst the rocks.

We’ll sing a song for Gordon

And torture his little ass

He comes in yellow, not so mellow

But in this war he’s last.

He is the biggest fish on Tracy

And you can’t forget his name

Because he simply will not let you

And he thinks it’s all a game.

But when you sing a song for Gordon

You have to know it’s true

He’s forgotten who he’s playing with

And big brother is two for two.

If he knows what is good for him

He will throw in the towel

And wave the flag of truce tonight

Before it gets really loud.

 Gordon had just a moment to consider that, yes, his brother could sing really well, before that too went on loop, bellowing out from a series of loudspeakers amongst the rocks.

It followed him the rest of the circumference of Tracy Island.

It wasn’t even ten am when he got back to the villa (the pool had switched to the Beatles ‘I wanna hold your hand’ as he walked through it) and already he felt he was going to lose it.

Jaws chased him up the staircases, but when he entered his rooms, Dory started encouraging him to ‘just keep swimming’.

Over and over again.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nooooooooo......

In desperation, he jabbed his comms. “Scott?”

“The Thunderbird you are trying to contact is currently unavailable. You’ve driven him insane and he has fled to the Bermuda Triangle.” Twilight Zone music danced with Dory.

“John?”

“Yo?”

“What can I offer you to make this stop?”

“Make what stop?”

“The music!”

“Oh, you can’t stop the music...” And John was singing another ear worm and his singing skill definitely wasn’t up there with Virgil’s. “Nobody can stop the music!”

“Oh, for the love of god!”

“Is something wrong, Gordon?”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“Oh, I don’t think so.”

“I am. He’s had it. This is beyond the rule book.”

“Nope. Sorry. Not going to happen.”

“Watch me.”

“Okay then. You might want to check out your balcony.”

“My balcony?”

“Oh, yeah, baby.”

Gordon was attempting to stare at his collar again.

“Go on, I haven’t got all day. Important rescue calls to be sorted.”

Against his better judgement, Gordon stepped through the double doors and out onto his balcony.

“The hills are alive with the sound of music!”

Julie Andrews. Echoing across the Tracy Island volcano.

“Take a look downstairs.” John was smug, there was no other word for it.

On the side lawn, Grandma was twirling.

Twirling to Julie Andrews.

Gordon fled to Dory.

“Why, John?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you side with Virgil? You’re the middle kid, the casting vote. What did I ever do to you?”

“I have a list, Gordon.”

“Really?”

“A long list.”

“Okay, but c’mon, I’m the prankster in this family. It is to be expected. Before the pool, I don’t think he ever even thought of pranking anyone.”

“Point One to the Virg.”

“Are you sure you’re not smoking something up there?”

“Thunderbird Five is a non-smoking habitat. Unless it is on fire.”

Blink. “Okay. You sure it is not on fire?”

“You may be the prankster Gordon, but you forgot one very important fact.”

“What?”

“Virgil is an engineer. A fully qualified and creative engineer. And you pissed him off.”

Another blink. “Okay, you may have a point.”

“Oh, and although traditionally Virgil is the kind of guy who wouldn’t hurt a fly, he has a girlfriend who would be quite capable of stringing you up by your eyelids.”

Now that was an image that hurt.

“So, you see, little brother, logic dictates that if I want to keep my eyelids intact and my Thunderbird in one piece, I’m sticking with the pissed off engineer.” A pause. “You are, of course, welcome to join us on the not so dark side. All it takes is the waving of that little white towel or flag. Do you have a white pair of underwear? I’m sure Virgil will accept those if they are clean.”

“Where is he?” It was low, it was dark.

“Oh, where you won’t think to look.”

“John, you suck.”

“Such rumours, young padawan.”

Yet another blink and he shivered, cutting off the connection.

So, Virgil was a smart ass engineer, huh?

There is more than one engineer on this island, and the other one has a smarter ass!

Gordon grimaced at that thought. It didn’t quite come out the way he had intended.

The music followed him down to Brains’ labs, alternating between two of the most annoying advertising jingles ever composed.

The door to the labs was shut. It was locked. It had a great big sign on it.

‘For the duration of the current argument, these labs are a Tracy-free zone. Keep Out.’

Gordon muttered under his breath and reached for the button to activate the door anyway.

A whirring of wheels and suddenly MAX was in his face.

Glaring at him.

Gordon flung his hands up in defence. “Okay, okay. I get the message.” Another threatening whir. “I’m going. I’m going.”

As he turned around, Elvis started crooning Jailhouse Rock.

Okay, so that one wasn’t so bad.

He stomped off to plan B.

The hangers and Thunderbird Four.

He never knew that the cavernous Thunderbird Two hanger was so acoustic. But then it may have sounded better if it wasn’t screaming ABBA’s Dancing Queen off all the technology housed inside it.

He hated ABBA with a passion. It may have had something to do with John liking it, a lot, all through yet another revival during his teenage years. God forbid if it switched to Mamma Mia.

Which, of course, it did.

Virgil obviously knew him very well.

He clambered into Module Four, sighing in relief as it closed and dampened the echoed out in the hangar. He then threw himself into TB4, sealing her hatch behind him. Ah, blessed silence.

He closed his eyes and simply breathed out.

“Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger...”

It was so quiet, he didn’t hear it at first, but it slowly increased in volume until it was just distinct enough that he couldn’t ignore it any longer.

“Mushroom, mushroom!”

“Badger, badger, badger...”

What’s with the badgers?

“IT’S A SNAKE! IT’S A SNAAAAKE!”

Gordon yelped and almost fell out of his chair. Oh god.

And it was badgering again.

It only took three more screamed snakes to have him stumbling out of his little sub.

Okay, Virgil, I admit it. You’re good.

-o-o-o-

He went boating and snorkeling that afternoon.

And discovered that not only had Virgil rigged the boat, but he had also added music to the fishing equipment and his snorkel and mask. How the hell he had managed that, Gordon had spent an hour going over said mask and snorkel failing to work out how.

There may have been tears of frustration at one point.

He spent the entirety of his boat trip home ‘Row, row, rowing his boat gently down the stream’, but it wasn’t the crocodile that made him want to scream.

By six o’clock he was ready to give in. He had a headache, his ear worms were breeding in his brain and, for the love of god, could he please have some peace and quiet?

John was useless.

Scott had migrated to another country.

Alan...Alan had disappeared. He would be slightly worried, but this was Virgil, he had a moral code, and Alan was easily distracted. Gordon himself had used candy in the past.

Kayo...well, her allegiance was obvious. And her commentary on Virgil’s music...he so wasn’t going there again.

Brains was Switzerland. If Switzerland had robotic defences and didn’t let anyone in.

Grandma was still excited about the volcano spouting Julie Andrews. Who knew she would be such a fan. The movie had been made over fifty years before she had been born.

That left Virgil the evil demonic overload of all this musical hell.

And Shirley.

Gordon had managed to find one small niche of the island that was music free. The small grassed area where they had constructed a little pen for Shirley the pony. Obviously Virgil was above torturing wannabe unicorns. He sat with Shirley for two hours while the miniature horse chewed on his shirt.

Despite this, the music continued in his head. Particularly that Thomas the Tank Engine torture device, except now the original lyrics kept warping into his brother’s voice.

Surrender was apparently the only option.

So, it was with red faced annoyance, temper and humiliation that he climbed the stairs to the residential areas and knocked on Virgil’s door.

As John had said. It was the last place he had looked.

Perhaps because that was where he knew he would find him.

“Come in.”

The room was dark when he entered, lit only by the lights in the corridor and some faint light from the long set sun. The music of choice in the corridor had returned to its preferred Jaws theme.

“Close the door behind you.”

He did as he was told. And discovered the second music free spot on the island. Oh god, blessed silence.

“Hello, Gordon.”

His brother appeared out of the shadows by the window, his outline only lit by that pink sunset remnant. It made him look large and mysterious. Far from the gentle artistic demonic overlord he knew him to be.

“Please make it stop.”

“It already has.”

“What?”

You only had to come to see me to get it to stop. I’m surprised you lasted this long.” He sighed. “In fact, it worries me. Does this prank war mean that much to you?”

Gordon blinked. “What?”

“I thought we were closer as brothers than a petty prank fest. That you would rather suffer than simply come and ask me to stop...Gords, really?”

“It’s war.”

“You started it.”

“Yeah, that was hilarious.” A grin.

He didn’t need to see his brother’s eyes to know he had rolled them. “For some.” A sigh. “Well, the fun is now over.”

“Why? I owe you big time, bro.”

He saw his brother move and suddenly the room was filled with ‘It’s a small world after all.” Gordon flinched. “Okay, okay, I get the message.” The music stopped.

“Anytime, Gordon, anytime, and it can all start again. I have ABBA’s complete collection at my disposal.”

Disposal was the right word. He was going to kill John.

“And it’s not John’s.”

Wha-?

“It’s Kay’s.”

Shit.

“Virgil, love, come back to bed.”

Speak of the devil, and Tin walked into the room, turning on the light.

Gordon blinked. Virgil was shirtless. Kayo was in a short, very short, negligee, a silky green one.

“Gordon, you’re staring.” Tin smiled that same smile she had weaponised at breakfast, leant over and licked Virgil’s ear.

Gordon shuddered.

“I-I’ll be going.”

Tin smiled again. “You do that.”

“Virg?”

“Yes, Gordon.” He was kissing Tin’s nose.

“You win.”

“I know.”

Gordon fled.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

[larvalung]

tagged by @emeraldzplash <3 thank you sorry i got to this so late, youre lovely

Rules : Answer 30 questions, Tag 10 blogs & post it as a text post.

1. Nickname -  I actually don’t have one so if anybody wants to give me a nickname feel free

2. Gender - rabid muppet (he/ they)

3. Star sign - Pisces 

4. Height -  5'3

5. Time - 7.15pm

6. Birthday - march 1st

7. Favorite bands - i literally have so many it’s ridiculous,,,, rn it’s primus, mater suspiria vision, caroliner, aaaand like oviformia sci, thanks marr (go to my desktop theme i have a playlist with most of the shit i listen to)

8. Favorite solo artists - tom waits and lydia lunch but idk who all i listen to thats just solo

9. Song stuck in your head - lately its been either muggs is dead by cypress hill or source by fever the ghost. I watched those vids alot bc i love felix colgraves animation but the songs slap too

10. Last movie watched - blue velvet

11. Last tv show watched - twilight zone

12. When did I create my blog - pretty recently, i had to delete my old one cause of some creepy shit goin on, but ive been on tumblr since like 2013

13. What do I post - oh fuck like mostly weird shit, industrial music or aesthetic stuff. just whatever im interested in

14. Last thing I googled - types of bovine disease

15. Do you have any blogs? - i have like 3 really old shitty ones floating around here somewhere, if you message me about them ill share the url, but i don’t feel comfy sharing them here

16. Do you get asks? - only from like, two people. seriously hit me up

17. Why did you choose your url - i’m really interested in like, unsolved mysteries and true crime ( but not like that, trust me) and its a portmanteau of dyatlov as in dyatlov pass incident, and lovely

18. Following blogs - 182

19. Followers - 173 ( iused to have like damn near 1000, im so bummed)

20. Favorite color - olive green or like bubblegum pink

21. Average hours of sleep - my sleep schedule is a joke

22. Piercings - septum, vertical labret, and my ears are gauged to 1/2 in

23. Instruments - guitar, bass

24. What I’m wearing - a big shirt i painted and some red plaid pj bottoms

25. How many blankets do you sleep with - like one or two

26. Dream job- i’d love to be a screenwriter and director and or an animator

27. Dream trip - paris

28. Favorite food - i hate food man. diet dr pepper ig

29. Nationality - american

30. Current favorite song - killa bunnies by moloko

tagging: @wembleyfraggle @lovingrot @orchestralmanoeuvrez @peachhspirits @burn-the-witchs-heart @raspberry-piss @grubwizard if you guys wanna do it? 

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH – A Retrospective Interview with Brain Gremlin

First, keep them out of bright light—especially sunlight! It’ll kill ‘em. Second, don’t give them water. Not even to drink! And third, the most important rule of them all, one you must never forget. No matter how much they cry. No matter how much they beg. NEVER feed them after midnight!

These three vague yet specific rules governed a new breed of movie monster whose impact would send shock-waves through Hollywood. This seemingly cuddly creature would rise from the ranks of B-movie monsters to find its way into multiplexes, toy stores, and our hearts. That creature was called a Mogwai and the movie was 1984’s Gremlins. It was a genre blending Christmas-horror-dark-family-comedy whose mismatched pieces came together so seamlessly that Dr. Frankenstein himself would have been jealous. Joe Dante (The Howling), Chris Columbus (The Goonies), and Steven Spielberg (Duh) teamed up to tell the story of a small town overrun by gremlins after a blundering inventor gifts a Mogwai named Gizmo to his son Billy for Christmas. Audiences were delighted and disgusted. They eagerly lined up to gut their wallets and disembowel their purses for any trite bit of plastic with Gizmo’s face on it. The studio wanted a sequel.

After an agonizing six-year wait, Warner Bros. finally got their wish. Gremlins 2: The New Batch hit theaters on June 15th, 1990 and fans relished in a sequel like none they had ever seen before (and will probably ever see again). Raising the stakes, Billy (Zach Galligan) and Kate (Phoebe Cates) leave their small town and move to New York City to work in Clamp Tower, the automated office building of the future. After Gizmo winds up in Clamp Tower’s genetics lab, chaos reigns throughout the malfunctioning superstructure. Like a cyclone on a fishing line, the film is a masterfully crafted frenzy of satirical in-jokes, social commentary, and outlandish characters. The studio, however, was not so enthused.

To celebrate this triumphant marvel of zany anarchic chaos, we sat down with one of the film’s stars, Brain Gremlin, to gain some insight into the box office blunder and cult phenomenon that is Gremlins 2: The New Batch

  Mockbuster Beginnings

  NIGHTMARE ON FILM STREET: Thank you so much for joining us today, Brain.

BRAIN GREMLIN: Think nothing of it, the pleasure is all mine.

NOFS: Before diving head first into Gremlins 2: The New Batch, I’d like to set the stage and touch briefly on the first film. I understand Spielberg and Dante’s relationship didn’t start on a high note.

BRAIN: It is a bit of an irregularity that friendship develops from artistic larceny. I suspect Steven was first acquainted with Joseph’s attempts at cinema after Roger Corman hired him to direct that bottom-feeding horror film Piranha. It was a flagrant attempt to capitalize on Steven’s film Jaws and everyone knew it. Universal Studios undoubtedly knew it. If memory serves there may have even been a cease and desist. Steven, being the magnanimous man he is, watched Piranha and was moved to benefaction, and the film moved forward undeterred.

NOFS: From such a rocky start, how did the two come to work together?

BRAIN: Well, imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Also I believe Steven saw something in the fledgling director. After having sent him Chris Columbus’s Gremlins script, Steven also invited Joseph to direct a segment of 1983’s Twilight Zone: The Movie. The man’s generosity is unparalleled. As you know Gremlins was an unprecedented success and gave Joseph’s career a real shot in the arm. It grossed close to 150 million domestically against an 11 million dollar budget. And that isn’t even taking into consideration the film’s inexplicable licensing potential. Naturally, talk of a sequel commenced immediately.

NOFS: Why then do you think it took Warner Bros. so long to produce a sequel?

BRAIN: Despite my antipathetic opinions toward him, Joseph Dante is an artist. He had little interest in rehashing his own work. He and Steven had both received scripts but declined due to their sheer redundancy. It wasn’t until a chance encounter years later, truly an act of providence, when Joseph ran into Terry Semel, then president of Warner Bros. Studios, on the studio lot. The man must have radiated desperation. With the promise of a new Gremlins film by the following summer, Joseph was given a sizable budget and full creative freedom. But ne’er the company man, Joseph would prove Terry’s confidence to be misplaced.

NOFS: You don’t think Dante was right for the job?

BRAIN: As I said, Joseph is an artist, but he is also an anarchist with little respect for convention. A saboteur. The sequel was a Trojan Horse from its inception. Gremlins 2 was to eliminate any possibility of a Gremlins 3. He and his screenwriting cohort, Charlie Haas, masterminded the demise of a budding franchise. The two had met on the 1979 film Over the Edge and Joseph obviously had an immediate affinity for Charles. In Twilight Zone: The Movie he named the character Charlie after his beloved chum.

    Gremlins on Broadway

  NOFS: I understand it was Charlie Haas’s idea to set the film in New York. How was filming in the Big Apple?

BRAIN: The studio was apprehensive about setting the film in New York City. They expected it would be quite costly. As a result, only three days of shooting actually took place in the city. Filming began in Times Square on the Friday before Memorial Day weekend. A dreadful bit of scheduling. Some of the exteriors of Clamp Tower were filmed at Park Avenue and 40th Street while the opening aerial footage of the city was pilfered directly from Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

NOFS: If not New York, where did they shoot the rest of the film?

BRAIN: For a contributing writer at a film news source, there are some alarming gaps in your knowledge of the filmmaking process. Gremlins 2: The New Batch was filmed on a studio set. Set 15 at Warner Bros. Studios to be exact. Jim Spencer designed the interiors of Clamp Tower and really went above and beyond. The set featured functioning elevators and fully stocked retail stores. He even built a portion of the exterior of the building on set. It was truly a marvel to behold.

NOFS: Joe Dante has disclosed in interviews that 1984’s Gremlins was incredibly challenging to make and those difficulties were a large part of why he was reluctant to make a sequel. Would you say his concerns were validated?

BRAIN: Joseph approached making Gremlins 2 with the wisdom of experience. When working simultaneously with human and gremlin actors, problems can arise. I’m all for peace and harmony but some cultural gaps are just more difficult to bridge. We’re not exactly cut from the same cloth. We’re hardly the same material. With this in mind, Joseph filmed all the scenes with human actors first and then spent the remaining six weeks of production filming us gremlin actors. The most arduous scene to film was undoubtedly Gizmo’s dance number. To say he has two left feet would be an understatement. To make matters worse, once the ineffectual furball finally executed the number we learned that Billy Idol wasn’t going to grant us permission to use his tune. Thankfully, a Fats Domino number with an identical rhythm was found and Gizmo’s efforts, although pathetic, were not in vain.

    NOFS: While things went a little more smoothly during the filming process, I understand the writers did not share that good fortune.

BRAIN: Joseph and Charles endured weeks of misery locked in an office as they tried to liberate themselves from the corner they had dim-wittedly written themselves into. They had planned a finale where the heroic humans would fill Clamp Tower with wet cement, trapping all the gremlins. This proved to be too expensive and the two were swiftly returned to the drawing board. The climactic scene as it appears in the final film is much more satisfying than previous iterations. The ending also further utilizes Electricity Gremlin, a first-rate character whose role up until that point had been on the chopping block.

NOFS: Famous special effects artist Rick Baker was brought on board to lend his talents and I understand he also had input on the script.

BRAIN: Chris Walas helmed the special effects department in the first film but had a scheduling conflict as he was directing another sequel, The Fly II. Rick Baker was offered the job but turned it down. To further entice the creative genius, the Slice-o-Life Genetics Lab subplot was added to the film. This gave Rick much more creative freedom and essentially the ability to alter the story through the introduction of new characters. His inclusion in the film was the impetus that essentially launched my acting career. We were tremendously appreciative of his work. Joseph was too, although he had a strange way of showing it. Octoman, Rick’s first film, appears as an in-joke during a broadcast of Grandpa Fred’s horror TV show.

NOFS: The Slice-o-Life Genetics Lab is without a doubt an essential component of the film and it’s in the lab that we meet Dr. Catheter, played by Christopher Lee. What was it like working with the horror legend?

BRAIN: Working with Christopher was a delight and a true honor. The poor boy was indeed unprepared for the degree of adoration he received from the cast and crew. Upon the completion of his final scene, to celebrate his 200th film, a small party was thrown in his honor. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house as all involved lined up to shake the hand of a true professional. I had the pleasure of filming one scene with Christopher, the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde transformation that births my character’s superior intellect. Sadly Christopher’s genetic transformation into Elvis Presley was cut before it even touched celluloid.

    A Star is Genetically Engineered

  NOFS: Your role is by far one of the most memorable in the film, can you tell us a little bit about the character you play?

BRAIN: Well, I essentially play myself. Go ahead, lump me in with your Fred Astaires and Bill Murrays. My character though, unlike other one-note trumpeteers, has an agenda. I recognize the potential of my race and believe we deserve more. I plan to lead my deranged brethren out from the seductive trappings of savagery to attain all the plentiful riches civilization has to offer.

NOFS: In the film we’re introduced to our first female gremlin who falls in love with Forster, a human character played by Robert Picardo. How do you feel about interspecies relationships?

BRAIN: Yes, Girl Gremlin is a truly bewitching vision of elegance. Her musical send up of Dames was inspired. On the topic of interspecies relationships, we intellectuals are a forward thinking lot. As far as I’m concerned the film has a happy ending, demonstrating the resolute tenacity of true love.

NOFS: You have a musical number as well, right?

BRAIN: Yes, an apropos tune by Frank Sinatra. It appears towards the end of the film just before little Zachery Galligan’s character unleashes his genocidal rage.

NOFS: There are a number of spectacular gremlin deaths throughout the film but the climax really manages to pack them in, including a hilarious Wizard of OZ reference. Who comes up with all these great deaths?

BRAIN: I also enjoyed the Wicked Witch death. The appearance of Lon Chaney’s Phantom complete with drop focus as he approaches the camera had me chuckling as well. The answer to your question, however, is everyone. Similarly to the first film, a morbid bit of paper scarred the set where cast and crew would scrawl their sick suggestions for gremlin death. We loathed that sheet of paper.

NOFS: Gizmo also has his fair share of torturous scenes in the film.

BRAIN: And you can bet they all made it onto my highlight reel. Gizmo embarks upon a heroes journey where he must rise to the challenge and become a warrior. He predictably fails and must rely on his human companions to shield him from harm.

NOFS: I understand many gremlin scenes were cut from the film?

BRAIN: Steven had final cut and found the film to be unbalanced. He said there were too many gremlin scenes. I’m all for equality but how many films have you seen with an entirely gremlin cast? No, don’t even bother. The answer is NONE!

    Satirical Genius

  [At this point in the interview Brain was becoming increasingly agitated and I had begun to fear for my safety. The question regarding gremlin scenes being cut from the film seemed to set him off. Suddenly his sharp teeth became more apparent to me as he spoke and he had a maniacal glint in his eye.]

NOFS: Let’s talk about the film’s tone. It has a cartoonish quality and even starts with a Looney Tunes cartoon.

BRAIN: Joseph grew up watching anarchic cartoons by the likes of Frank Tashlin. He applauded their irreverent lack of convention and aspired to sustain that restrained chaos throughout the film. Transcendent rebellion and subversion of popular culture were his objectives but along the way he took a wrong turn. He became the thing he sought to destroy. Joseph had become a part of popular culture. Like the man who learns he can never truly return home, he must burn it down.

NOFS: Perhaps we should shift gears a little and discuss a lighter topic. Let’s talk about cable TV and frozen yogurt.

BRAIN: Oh no, [Brain chuckles] you can’t pull the wool over these reptilian eyes. This is the dreaded prophecy question. For the sake of good sportsmanship, I’ll take the bait. Gremlins 2 has been praised for its prophetic satire of popular culture. Concepts that were conceived as jokes are now accepted norms of modern society. Some of your younger readers may not bat an eyelash at the idea of an entire channel devoted to cooking, but to audiences in 1990 it would have been comical, if not grotesque. The intent was to provide a gross exaggeration in order to highlight the excesses of the medium.

NOFS: Dante didn’t just poke fun at popular culture in general, he takes a few jabs at his own work.

BRAIN: Joseph’s self awareness is an admirable trait to be sure. He and Charles shine a light on the sheer absurdity of the supposed “cardinal rules” of rearing Mogwai as Zach’s character does his best to explain them to a skeptical audience in the building’s control room. Phoebe’s traumatic memory of Abraham Lincoln’s birthday is a call back to her laughably tragic Yuletide tale from the first film. References to Joseph’s other work crop up from time to time as well. Vectorscope Labs from the film Innerspace makes an appearance as well as a theater marquee that reads Howling 11. Not to sing the man’s praises too much but upon meeting, Christopher [Lee] apologized to Joseph for appearing in Howling 2. Real stand-up chap.

NOFS: Is Donald Trump the inspiration for the character of Daniel Clamp?

BRAIN: He may have been at one time but also remember that public perception of Donald in 1990 was very different. Clamp was originally intended to be the villain but John Glover played the role with such boyish charm that it really altered the tone of the film. However, Grandpa Fred is without a doubt modelled after Al Lewis’s Grandpa Munster.

NOFS: Did anyone have issue with the film’s satire and social commentary?

BRAIN: I can’t say Steven and Chris Columbus entirely appreciated it. There was also some controversy surrounding jokes made about the marketability of Gizmo. This was somewhat unheard of at the time. Joseph was essentially mocking the marketing and cross promotion for the film within the film itself.

    The Gremsters Vs. The Hulkster

  NOFS: After Leonard Maltin had given the first film a bad review, was it satisfying to see him get his just deserts in the sequel?

BRAIN: Oh yes, the gremlin community had a bit of an axe to grind with Mr. Maltin. His appearance was a way to, forgive me for mixing metaphors, bury the hatchet. We would extend the olive branch of peace but upon bending him to our will, reveal it to be the olive branch of victory.

NOFS: Did he bend to your will?

BRAIN: Well, my dear fellow I’d have to say the proof is in the numbers. Going from 2 out of 4 stars on the first film to 3 out of 4 on the second is nothing to turn your nose up at.

NOFS: Leonard Maltin was just one of many celebrity cameos in the film, but none were quite as outlandish as Hulk Hogan’s fantastic 4th wall breaking appearance.

BRAIN: It is an oddity, isn’t it. Joseph wanted to do a William Castle gag and chose 1959’s The Tingler for his inspiration. Similarly to The Tingler, our titular creatures wreak havoc inside the projection booth. However, in our film the hooligans are set straight by World Wrestling champion Hulk Hogan. The studio was dead set against this narrative detour. Joseph set up a test screening in order to prove to them that audiences would, in fact, get a kick out of it. On home video an alternate scene appears to suggest the viewer’s VCR is on the fritz. The poor gremlins would then wind up in a western. The 1970 John Wayne film Chisum was intercut with shots of gremlins and using Chad Everett’s impeccable John Wayne impression, the audience would watch as The Duke himself sends the mischief-makers fleeing back to their own film.

    Box Office Blunder

NOFS: Gremlins 2: The New Batch is often referred to as a “flop” or a “bomb”. Not only did it fail to live up to its predecessor but the film didn’t even turn a profit.

BRAIN: This is true, the film had a 50 million dollar budget but only brought in 41 million.

NOFS: The film had an extensive marketing campaign of which you were prominently featured, including cross promotional ads for Comfort Inn and Clarion Hotel chains. It seems the studio had very high expectations for what Dante considers to be possibly the most unconventional studio picture ever made.

BRAIN: Call it overconfidence. The film was originally scheduled for a May 3rd release date opposite the Mel Gibson/Goldie Hawn picture Bird on a Wire. Based on high test scores, the studio got a bit big-headed and pushed the date back. We would now open opposite the highly anticipated film, Dick Tracy, starring Warren Beatty and Madonna. The material girl was quite frankly the biggest star in the world at the time and she and Beatty were a bit of a hot item. They were 1990’s Brangelina. Wadonna. Determined to protect their box office records from the previous years Batman, Warner Bros. went after Dick Tracy with a herculean might. As it turned out, the Beatty/Madonna picture posed little threat to Batman’s record. This battle of studios only had one casualty, Gremlins 2: The New Batch.

NOFS: Despite its theatrical failings, the film found a cult following on home video. What do you believe the film’s appeal is to these die-hard fans?

BRAIN: While striving to destroy his legacy, Joseph managed to touch on a societal note that, at the time, was only just a whisper. But over the years it has grown into a symphony. The veil of ignorance has fallen. Joseph and Charles created a world closer to reality than they could have possibly envisioned. Given a parodical hyper-realist version of their everyday life, the viewer steps outside of their own existence to properly examine what is truly of value in this world. What holds meaning, what creates meaning, and what destroys it. Shown what happens when our automated lives break down, the audience revels in an existential awakening. They can now leave the theater a free people once again.

NOFS: Beautifully put, Brain, and thank you again for joining us. I thought we’d end the interview by addressing a little rumor that’s been popping up on message boards in recent years. Is there going to be a Gremlins 3?

BRAIN: [Brain chuckles] Considering the current state of that vacuous void known as Hollywood? I suppose only time will tell.

  The post GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH – A Retrospective Interview with Brain Gremlin appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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[therattsden]

RULES: post as many songs as you like that remind you of your muse and then tag people whose songs you want to see. repost, don’t reblog.

TAGGED BY :   @antiherod TAGGING:    @unaccompaniedescapist @thelastvance @intellectdampener @tumb1r-core @klutzycustodian @positronicminds @immunetoneurotoxin @makelcmonade and anyone else that would like to do it!

I.       royal headache - psychotic episode

i am the anti-psychotic / i've tried a range of hypnotics / i am the perfect advert for living impaired / i'm trapped in a world inside, nowhere to run or to hide / i've tried the leading brands but i don't get nowhere / but a psychotic episode and i can't go out today / baby's had a psychotic episode and i'm not feeling good

II.        dream hesitate - eternal lips

i don't know where you go / don't look in mirror / it's all around / dream hesitate / won't be long / before i meet you

III.        coldplay - moving to mars

somewhere up above the stars / the wreckage of a universe floats past / somewhere up above my heart / a tiny little seed is sown, a government is overthrown / who knows when we'll be coming home at last / and i heard it on the radio that one day we'll be living in the stars / and i heard it on a tv show that somewhere up above and in my heart / they'll be tearing us apart, maybe moving us to mars / we won't see the earth again / and the seconds just remain unchanged

IV.       rockwell - somebody's watching me

i'm just an average man with an average life / i work from nine to five, hey, hell, i pay the price / all i want is to be left alone in my average home / but why do i always feel like i'm in the twilight zone and...? / i always feel like somebody's watching me and I have no privacy / i always feel like somebody's watching me / tell me is it just a dream?

V.         the hoosiers - devils in the details

all alone i fought the cause / up against the clock that started me / it's the life anonymous/ trusted with the lives of all of us / i failed to see the flaws in the details I adored / and played god / science lay its heavy head on the cold shoulder of consequence / rushed where angels dare not tread to force the hand of nature's accidents / failed to see the flaws in the details I adored /  and played god

VI.       crywank - privately owned spiral galaxy 

infected by my perceptions that i’m a non-entity / project my insecurity until intensity is weaponry / grieving a heavenly fiction i perceived while i was dreaming, awake! / freezing, wheezing, fundamentally i’m still believing that / this is an elegy for concepts i conceived in deep sleep / and i helplessly watch them fade while i awake / i try and keep them alive / incomparable with life but eventually they die / and the brain I used to cultivate reveals my lovers were a lie

VII.         the bravery - faces

when i hold you i am just trying to feel / that thing inside of you that i once thought was real / see that light i thought i saw but it was never there at all / i put these things in you i wanted to believe / but they're unreal it seems i made them in my dreams / i see illusions of the things that i just wanted you to be / you are speaking but your lips don't match the words / it's just voices in my head / i want someone to love so badly / i don't know what's real anymore / and i see faces in the darkness / i hear voices in the air / i see shadows all around me but no one's there /i see faces, i see faces

VIII.        blue foundation - eyes on fire

i'm taking it slow, feeding my flame / shuffling the cards of your game / and just in time, in the right place / suddenly i will play my ace / i won't soothe your pain, i won't ease your strain / you'll be waiting in vain / i got nothing for you to gain / eyes on fire / your spine is ablaze / felling any foe with my gaze / and just in time, in the right place/ steadily emerging with grace

[goldenscript]

ah u and i both are putting off english hw. i have a rough draft due monday and whole lotta other shit for the class but here i am. doing none :-) GIRL I CAN WRITE A WHOLE DAMN ESSAY ON OIKAWA AND WHY HE DESERVED MORE. god i love that man sm he’s fighting for my ass and soul with kook. I cant remember the last time i DIDNT spoil myself with a movie tbh.. And UGH im just curious as to how everyone’s gonna work together since the avengers are kind of in a sticky sit atm with the members and (1/?)

everything BUT THE WORLD AINT READY FOR WAKANDA DUDE. ngl t’challa didn’t have a strong intro for me during civil war, i remember being like ‘ok u got claws whats good’ but now it’s like OK KITTY SHOW EM WHATS UP!! what story app was it bc it sounds interesting! it’s good that you’re challenging yourself, it’s so important for artists and authors to venture out of their safe zones (something that i know i struggle with a lot still)!! tbh with u i never got into twilight, i watched the movie (2/             

and i was like ok wats the hype dude. but then again ive always been a huge critic when it comes to real life supernatural teen romance stuff but when it’s an anime/fics im like >:O GASP WHAT’S NEXT >:O LMAO. for me ideas come and go and i do my best to thread them together but a lot of times im like.. wtf this doesnt make any sense *SCRAPS*. ok ur pretty spot on with that, jin would most DEF be the cafeteria lady that everyone ogles over despite the nasty ass goop he plops down on their (3/?             

plate, but i mean his smile is what makes everything worth it right?? he would def work at the same school with yoongi to which everyone thinks is unfair esp kook but hey boy shut your roach ass up. then there’s tae and jimin who somehow landed the delivery boy jobs together. it would be more crack+slice of life tbh haha. (4??/) -sjsu     

girl i hella put off my english draft due today too jdshfjsfh luckily my teacher doesn’t grade drafts for content and more or less for completion. since this paper is like 1500-1800 words he was like “it’s ok if you only have a few paragraphs” done so bless that ‘cuz i got my points for it. AND OMG GIRL. I FEEL THAT THO. LIKE I FEEL SO STRONGLY FOR THE CHARACTERS AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. i want them all to succeed gdi. & mood, i love kook with my whole heart n soul 2.

honestly i always spoil myself with movies but i told myself not to do it for black panther and that’s probably it ahahahah. but yooooooo, i haven’t seen civil war yet LOL. i haven’t even seen winter soldier so i was like “Well i obvi can’t watch civil war then” jkdsfhs soon tho. just so i can keep up with the storyline. & ok i had to search and redownload it but it’s called heroes rise! it’s like a trilogy app bundle and you gotta pay for it (sorry boo but it’s so fun and i rec it!!!!!!!)

it’s something i just gotta do, man. i wanna try diff genres to find my niche so if it’s hard then that just means i gotta work to get it together. ^_^ and i read the book and i was having a huge moment for vampires and werewolves, that’s the only real reason why i liked twilight so much LOL. i can’t write vampires for shit tho ‘cuz i feel like that’s one genre i can’t really…. satisfy myself with? l.j. smith (author of vampire diaries and night world) made such a profound impression on me with that genre so i can’t hold a candle to her kjsdfhksjfh but i think it just makes more sense to like it as an anime since they’re technically animated and usually the plots are a lot better, more cohesive than most real-life depictions.

ahahahahaha, yes thank u! they’d have pockets of issues like sometimes wishing they had powers again. probably namjoon messing around in the library trying to read up on godly stuff, maybe trying to find a loophole on their sentence. or something pops up like “alright bitches,,,,,,,,,,,,,,” and their past starts coming back to haunt them LOL.

[allbeendonebefore]

What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta

[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]

so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess

so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio

Canon Stuff

literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)

also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))

Headcanon Stuff

ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious

- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet. 

- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place

- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)

- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.

- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him

- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs. 

- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’

- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]

- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between. 

- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad

- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense. 

- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them. 

- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’. 

- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]

- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.

- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.

- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.

- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE

- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions. 

- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.

- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.

- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].

- his fave cow is named buttercup

- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story. 

- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints. 

- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD

- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him. 

- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol. 

i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol

[spectrumspace]

man i hope i don’t sound like i obsessively watch disney channel by knowing this but them having exclusive shows for overseas is odd. considering they just cheaply dub english shows and play them overseas all the time you’d think a company as cheap as them would be willing to make it go both ways

like there was an indian localization of jessie which i could understand them making even if its more expensive. because. the original would not go over well. and you wouldn’t have to localize that back into english cuz you have the original. even if the fact that you made that localization shows you’re aware something was wrong in the first place

moving on i went to poland and they had all this merch in book stores for some disney show called violetta that i’d never heard of as somebody who was just growing out of that stuff and it was like the twilight zone and turns out its argentinian so i guess i could see them going “well its argentina its got a different culture” even if i disagree. like hey maybe you could try to appeal to the immigrant demographic. teach about those different cultures. support the argentinian film industry. maybe even fill a time slot for cheap with some bad dub work i dunno. you’re already being lazy why go the extra mile. unless you think argentinian tv shows are bad. like i wouldn’t know if they’re bad because i’ve never seen one

but then like i saw all these people posting about dude that’s my ghost which was british so i 100% expected an eventual american release in the future because we get all kinds of canadian cartoons good and bad even if they air at 5AM so??? but we never did even though it takes place in california and they speak american english with zero hints of a british accent as far as ive seen and i cannot think of an explanation. like. ???????

[kenshiliker]

mcfuck load of things i was tagged in going here thanks everyone that tagged me & im sorry for this Entire Mess

Also I was tagged in 3 different things that have like similar fuckign questions so im jst gonna stick them all into 1 tag bc if not you’d have me repeating my damn names 18 times and thts no fun for Anyone)

Meet the blogger meme (Tagged by @bodhierso, thank u ark!! @woehuxbub tHJANKS FAMTHER & @orsonkraennic)

i. name:  徐

ii. nickname: OH LORD I HAVE SO MANY um I’ll just put the main ones; Brucie, Jerry, Tiaan, King Dickard II

iii. zodiac sign: Sagittarius / Dragon (Chinese Zodiac)

iv. height: ??? UH I think 160 cm the last I measured but I’m not sure. Over 5′3″ iirc.

v. orientation: Ace (the helpful place)

vi. ethnicity: Chinese 

vii. favorite fruit: Orange, Strawberry and Banana, L E M O N (u fucKIGN COWARDS)

viii. favorite season: Autumn/Winter but I’m stuck in hell so guess I’ll Die

ix. favorite book / book series: I don’t read many books but I like Shakespeare’s stuff & also Sherlock Holmes

x. favorite flower: Hibiscus rosa-sinensis (this is as patriotic as I get tbh), PLANTA GENISTA

xi. favorite scent: Nothing too strong or I’ll feel nauseous. Maybe a soft vanilla? ...And maybe orange. Or Lemon.

xii. favorite color: ORANGE (funny story is that my dad’s fav colour was orange and I decided to project frm a young age and wow guess what Orange has been my fav colour ever since), White, Black, Blue, Red

xiii. coffee, tea or cocoa: T e a slorp slorp

xiv. average sleep hours: Depends on what I have planned the next day. Lately (due to exam month) it’s been about 5 hrs per week so guess I’ll die

xv. cat or dog person: I like both as long as I’m not being chased

xvi. favorite fictional characters: ghhh Bruce Wayne, Tiaan Jerjerrod, Illya Kuryakin, B.J. Hunnicutt, Freddy Newandyke, Cal Lightman, (and Duke of Aumerle & Richard II if they count,,, hte Shookspeare version)

xvii. dream trip: UK,,, Get Me Out Of Here, 

xviii. blogs created: 4 (This one, TMFU blog, Secret Shakespeare Blog & Secret Art Blog) (I haven’t posted on the latter two) (That’s why they’re a ‘secret’)

xix. number of followers: 940 here (how even the Fuck) & 1582 on the TMFU blog.

xx.  random fact: I recently sat on the hard wood floor for 10 hours straight (s/o to you if you remember this) and felt myself just physically shrivel up and die. I literally hurt everywhere bc if I wasn’t sitting down, I was laying on the ground and gOD It took me a week to feel better but yeah god 11/10 would not recommend

xxi. number of blankets you sleep with: There’s like 4 on my bed lmao I’M LIVING

xxii.  blog created: I’ve had a tumblr since like... 2010 and I didn’t really use it until 2012, 2013 was my first year I was really active

xxiii. nationality: Malaysian

Tagged by Krenny again, to answer all these questions, and then tag 15 people 5 things you’ll find in my bag: SUPERMAN WALLET, Phone, Powerbank + Cable, Earphones, Art Supplies

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom: 5000 Stuffed Animals, DC shit, SW garb, The decapitated head of Jar Jar Binks that greets the visitors, Convention merch (+4 GAY REALLY FUCKING GAY, SO GAY THAT IF MY PARENTS FOUND THEM I’D BE FUCKING DEAD, fanbooks of TMFU which are in Chinese, sent by my lovely Internet Sister)

5 things I’ve always wanted to do: Get some air-dry paper clay and make tiny sculptures or something, learn how to paint properly, have nice handwriting, visit the UK again, WATCH A PLAY

5 things that make me happy: My unhealthy coping mechanisms, my favs, my friends!!, drawing (sometimes), reading/learning about something I’m interested in

5 things I’m currently into: TIM ROTH, LIE TO ME, Shakespeare, Star Wars, DC

5 things on my to do list: Get good fuckin grades for once in my damn life aye, finish watching Lie To Me, finish reading As You Like It and Othello, finish the school year & be done with it for the rest of my life, memorise all the experiments for the physics syllabus by Thursday if not my teacher will literally grill me

and lastly, tagged by @bunn1cula​ and Krenny again! Thank u two am loaf the both of u,

the last

1. drink: water 2. phone call: irl friend that is saved as ‘Mr. Pink’ in my phone (as per their request fhghg) 3. text message: ‘👌👌’ or if chats count then:

4. song you listened to: HOOKED ON A FEELING 5. time you cried: Yesterday while watching Lie To Me 6. dated someone twice: Nooooot yet 7. kissed someone and regretted it: NOT FOR ME THnks 8. been cheated on: ?? I don’t know. Probably not. 9. lost someone special: Yes 10. been depressed: Yeah, still am, but I think it’s not so bad nowadays (hopefully). 11. got drunk and thrown up: Never

3 favourite colours

12. Orange 13. White 14. Black

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: Yeah, definitely!  16. fallen out of love: NOT YET BUT MAYBE SOON 17. laughed until you cried: GOD A HECK OF A LOT OF TIMES 18. found out someone was talking about you: No, not really. I mean, there’s an asshole in my class that loves talking shit about me but I honestly don’t give a fuck about him he’s Irrelavant. 19. met someone who changed you: I don’t really know,,, I think I’m still the same? 20. found out who your friends are: I’ve never really had an issue with anyone, really. Maybe except one or two people, but yeah, the rest of y’all are alright. 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: NO

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: About 60/93 of them. I plan to boot a ton of them after I graduate tho. 23. do you have any pets: UNFORTUNATELY NO but I’d love a cat 24. do you want to change your name: UM SURE I mean it’d be kinda nice bc I hate when people I hate tainted my name by calling it, so yea, Yes 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I don’t think I did anything at all. 26. what time did you wake up: 6.30 a.m. (gotta love tht School Life) 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: ,,,Watching Lie To Me, reading fics instead of studying for my exam, 28. name something you can’t wait for: GRADUATING and getting tf outta here. 29. when was the last time you saw your mum: Last night ghghg 31. what are you listening to right now: Stuck In The Middle With You 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I was the person named Tom once, so, yes. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: My shitty fucking class/school. 34. most visited website: Tumblr, YouTube 35. hair colour: Dark brown 36. long or short hair: Short! 37. do you have a crush on someone: Mnnn 50/50 38. what do you like about yourself: I’m kinda sorta funny & I can draw sometimes 39. piercings: None 40. blood type: A+ 41. nickname: Jerry, Brucie, Tiaan, King Dickard II 42. relationship status: Single & That’s Alrighty 43. zodiac: Sagittarius 44. pronouns: He/Him or They/Them 45. favourite tv show: RN IT’S LIE TO ME (TIM ROTH COULD FUCKIGNG LIE TO ME RIGHT IN MY FACE & I’D BE LIKE WOW UR TELLIGN THE TRUTH I BELIEVE IN U), but I also like M*A*S*H, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and The Twilight Zone 46. tattoos: I idon’t really want any! 47. right or left handed: Right

first

48. surgery: None to my knowledge, or maybe a few when I was super young bc my moves (lungs) are weak babe 49. piercing: None (my mom keeps trying to get me to pierce my ear but it’s not my thing, & also if I do get it i’ll only get one and it’ll be the Gay Ear) 50. sport: Football, I think? In any case, I’m bomb as hell at getting hit in the fucking head by the sports balls.  51. vacation: London or Australia iirc 52. pair of trainers: I don’t remember either, I can barely remember anything from 2016.

more general

53. eating: Nothing at the moment 54. drinking: Water 55. i’m about to: Nap or watch Lie To Me (I haven’t decided) 56. waiting for: My exams to be over 57. want: Nothing at the moment 58. get married: Sure? I’m not really opposed to marriage as a whole, but if it starts getting yikes you bet your ass I’m gonna fucking bounce 59. career: I don’t have a career rn but I’d like to do illustration/concept art it seems p cool. Either that or become a psychologist and charge people $30 for readings.

which is better

60. hugs or kisses: I don’t like either 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: I don’t really care. I love both short girls and guys (@tiM), and tall girls and guys are just as good! 63. older or younger: Doesn’t really matter to me either. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Also doesn’t really matter but if ur arms are good I’m definitely eyes emoji af 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: See, I’d say hesitant but I don’t really know that either. Just as long as you’re not doing some stupid shit we’re good.

have you ever

67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: Nope.. Well, not to my knowledge. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear either ghgng 70. turned someone down: No 71. sex on the first date: N O 72. broken someone’s heart: UH Yeah when I was 13 (how even the fucK.) 73. had your heart broken: yEP 74. been arrested: Never bc I’m a cop, Larry 75. cried when someone died: Yes. I’m okay throughout the funeral but the minute it registers that I’m never gonna see them again, I’m gooooone af. Even if I didn’t particularly like the person when they were alive. 76. fallen for a friend: YEAH!!! But it’s usually one of those new-friend crushes sourry.

do you believe in

77. yourself: I mean, Sometimes. It’s like... Can I do it? Most Likely. Did I do it correctly? Most Likely Not. 78. miracles: Not really, no. 79. love at first sight: Yeah, sure, I mean everyone’s different, so who’s to say just because I don’t feel it someone else doesn’t. 80. santa claus: No way my dude 81. kiss on the first date: Depends bc at mY AGE I’m not boutta put my face anywhere near someone else’s thts jst weird 82. angels: Mayhaps,,,, I don’t believe that they don’t exist, if that makes sense.

other

83. current best friend’s name: Mmmnnnn Kylogram (Kyle Ron), maybe? I’ve a few best friends. 84. eye colour: Dark brown, they look kinda nice in the sun I guess. 85. favourite movie: RESERVOIR DOGS, Four Rooms, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, The Lion in Winter, TMFU, Wonder Woman, ROTJ, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

--

This is a big Mess, but yeA I’m tagging whoever was mentioned above & no one else bc this has gone on for long enough, to do the one you weren’t tagged in or hell do the first one if you want, bc that one is a compilation of like 3 different tag memes ghfh. Good bye u all.

(OH YEAH if ur a mutual/follower/whoEVER who sees this feel free to do if if you’d like!! Say I tagged you if you’d like to c:)

[torao-chan]

people shit on twilight all the time and i get it, it’s a shit book, and it’s a p shit movie, and the plot has the most holes ive ever seen, and also the characters are just cringe worthy

but it also means so much to me

twilight got big just as i entered seventh grade- just as I entered boarding school. to describe the time in my life, the words my psych used was an abusive home environment. my parents were an ocean away, and i was alone.

but one of the best memories I have of being in the boarding house was the one night everyone, from every year level, was gathered in the lobby, and we were all allowed to bring one guest each, to watch twilight (the first movie).

all my bullies were preoccupied, either with my second cousin I’d brought with me (she was far more exuberant than I and, honestly, I barely knew her) or with their own friends they’d brought along. The teachers were all there, and no one was unsupervised, and I was free to just sit at the back of the gathering, on the stairs, alone with my ice cream, and just enjoy something- enjoy twilight. the years twelves were handing out team jacob and team edward stickers and keychains and shit, and I couldn’t buy any of it, but I loved it. I loved one of the only times I felt safe in that house.

and twilight signifies that. that safety zone.

so even though I shit on it’s portrayals and bad writing, I still love it, I still love the safe feeling it gives me, and I’m also team jacob because I love fucking werewolves man.

idk, I felt the need to share this shit.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #157 - Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) Getting any sort of footage or image before a studio logo is exceptionally rare. I appreciate that Paramount and the filmmakers decided to open the film with this dedication:

2) This is an end to a trilogy started by Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan, as it is a direct sequel to Star Trek III which was a direct sequel to Khan. Leonard Nimoy returns to direct after Star Trek III and decided to give the film a lighter tone as Star Trek was taking itself rather seriously. I think that works for this movie, but I also think the film succeeds because (out of the trilogy) it does the best of examining the crew outside of Kirk/Spock/Bones (as we shall see).

3)

Vulcan Computer [testing Spock’s recovery]: “How do you feel?”

Spock’s emotional arc - though it becomes more subtle as the film progresses - is a nice touch. The dude DIED. He’s not just going to walk away from that scot free. He’s Vulcan, so his intellect has been largely focused on. But it is his emotional recovery - getting in touch with his human side - which carries the Vulcan through this film. And I think it works wonderfully.

4) The noise the alien probe emits has a wonderfully ominous design to it. It is effective and makes you uncomfortable. You know something is up.

The entire idea of a mysterious alien probe with unknown intentions which is creating death and destruction (seemingly involuntarily) is very compelling to me. It is an idea in the same essence of “The Twilight Zone” or even something HG Welles would write. Mysterious, frightening, foreboding, and interesting.

5) This is the last film appearance of Lt. Saavik.

According to IMDb:

A scene written for but cut from the film explained why Saavik stays on Vulcan: she is pregnant with Spock's child, stemming from an event in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984), when she "treated" the young Spock's pon farr. This was the character's final appearance in a Star Trek film.

I’m a little disappointed that Saavik was just kind of dropped. Apparently Nimoy and writer/producer Harve Bennett couldn’t think of anything for her to do in the 20th century, but this was an incredibly interesting and fun character from Wrath of Khan who just lost steam and disappeared. Ah well.

6)

Bones [after Kirk says Spock will recover alright]: “Are you sure? [Beat. Kirk is silent.] That’s what I thought.”

Neither of them are sure if they’re going to get their friend back, but they have to trust him. They have to try. Bones even later tries to strike up a conversation with Spock, checking him both as a doctor and as his friend. These small bits of concern are neatly effective in portraying the conflict Spock (and, in all honesty, the crew) is going through with his emotional recovery.

7) I love this line.

Spock: “There are other forms of intelligence on Earth, doctor. Only human arrogance would assume that [the probe] MUST be meant for man.”

8) So Kirk and the crew end up time traveling to the late 20th century in order to find some humpback wales and save earth from this probe. But here’s the thing: they’re never asked to do that. Quite the contrary, they’re being court martialed. They could spend the rest of their lives in jail. They have the perfect opportunity to escape and live the rest of their lives. But it is at the expense of the human race. It never even crosses their minds to run away. To not help. They take some seriously big risks for people who may jail them forever and without even a second thought. If that doesn’t speak to the character of these characters I don’t know what does.

9) I’ve never watched the original series of “Star Trek” but I know they time travelled before (at least once, maybe more; again I never watched). So I’m glad they include this line.

Kirk [about time travel]: “We’ve done it before.”

10) Man, these time travel effects are trippy. I love it.

11)

Kirk [about 1986 Earthlings]: “This is an extremely primitive and paranoid culture.”

This has always fucking bugged me in the “Star Trek” universe, although it might just be a personal thing. Yes, the human race as a whole can tend to suck. But why define us by the worst of our elements? Isn’t that just a loud minority? Why not remember the good in history. “This is an extremely primitive and paranoid culture.” What about the people on the Challenger who you dedicated to this film? They weren’t primitive or paranoid? What about people who fight for Civil Rights, Gay Rights, and other social justice movements? Why would we let the worst of humanity define us? I mean really? REALLY!?

Okay I’m done.

12) Leonard Nimoy said he wanted this film to have be lighter and boy is it that. This is by far the funniest Star Trek film ever made. Like, I don’t even know hot to properly communicate how funny it is. Here are some early examples of humor in the film:

Kirk [walking away from an invisible space ship he left in Golden Gate Park]: “Everyone remember where we parked.”

Pawn Broker [about Kirk’s glasses, when they need money]: “I’ll give you $100.”

Kirk [after a beat]: “Is that a lot?”

[Kirk and Spock get on a bus only to immediately walk off of it.]

Spock: “What does it mean, exact change?”

The time travel and 80s setting allow for some fish out of water comedy which is the film’s best feature in my opinion. There are so many brilliant and honest jokes derived from these characters. No one ever acts contrary to who they are. They’re them! They’re the best crew Star Fleet has ever had! But in the 80s...

(GIF originally posted by @andurile)

13) Gillian.

Gillian is a very important and very well done character in the film. She is the outsider. Our tether to reality and a key component to saving the whales (because, again, this is the Star Trek movie where they save the whales). She is unique unto herself, not JUST a plot device and I don’t think even someone for Kirk to get together with (I don’t remember if they kiss or not, but I don’t think so). She is passionate, empathetic and has genuine care for the animals under her care. A great character who I think the film is better off for having.

14)

Kirk [after Spock called him Admiral]: “Jim. You used to call me Jim.”

Kirk is obviously getting frustrated with Spock’s lack of emotional development. He went to hell and back, sacrificed his career and his future, all to save his friend. And now his friend isn’t totally back yet. It hardly leads to a big climactic fight but it is an undercurrent of the film which keeps rearing its head in important and compelling ways.

15) I love this line.

Spock [about whaling]: “To hunt a species to extinction is not logical.”

Gillian: “Whoever said the human race was logical?”

16) Honestly, the way Kirk reacts when he sees that Spock has dived into a tank with two whales in full view of everyone is my reaction too.

17) A little thing that bothers me in this film is when Gillian’s coworker calls her kiddo. He seems to be the same age as her and not her superior in anyway, so what is this demeaning bullshit?

18) Remember how I said this film was hysterical?

I think the pairings of Bones/Scotty and Uhura/Chekov are quite interesting. Even if we don’t get a deep examination of those relationships it’s pairings we haven’t really seen on their own before and which do show us just how comfortable everyone is around each other.

19) I love how Kirk just tells Gillian the truth. Yes he was massively bullshitting her for about twenty minutes but he just sort of lays it all out on the table at the end.

(Screencap originally posted by @icheb-of-nine)

And Gillian doesn’t get angry at this seeming insult of her intelligence and storm off like the cliché is. She obviously doesn’t believe Kirk but she roles with it anyway. Figures what the hell, and it pays off later.

20)

Kirk [to Spock, after he learns they might lose the whales and the earth could be doomed]: “You’re half human. Haven’t you got any goddamn feelings about that!?”

This is sort of the peak of Kirk’s frustrations with Spock. Again it plays out more as a subplot throughout the film but one which gives it heart and warmth. It is after this that Spock sort of starts getting it together.

21) Chekov and the navy is fun (although I don’t like their use of the word, “retard,” in the scene). It showcases the film’s humor beautifully AND allows actor Walter Koening to truly shine.

22) And THIS is the culmination of Spock’s emotional arc (or at least the earliest example of it):

Spock: “We must help Chekov.”

Kirk: “Is that the logical thing to do, Spock?”

Spock: “No, but it is the human thing to do.”

23) I LOVE Bones in the hospital!

He regrows a woman’s kidney with a pill! First and foremost Bones is a doctor and he will be a doctor no matter where he is or who the patient is. I think it’s great that they actually take this into consideration with his actions.

24) The entire scene where the former-crew of Enterprise (as they are on a Klingon ship now) rescue the whales is great. It is incredibly tense and conflict filled, packed with surprises (such as the ship saving the whales from the whalers while cloaked). All in all, a great climax.

25) This was James Doohan’s favorite line as Scotty.

(GIFs originally posted by @spaicetrek)

26) I love how Kirk’s “punishment” is to demote him from Admiral to Captain (which is something he wanted all along and which everyone knows).

27)

Kirk [after Gillian says she’s on a different starship]: “Why does it have to be goodbye?”

Because this series rarely brings back female characters introduced in the movies, it seems. (I’m thinking mainly of Carol Marcus.)

28)

Spock [after his father asks if there’s anything he wants his mom to know]: “Yes. Tell her...I feel fine.”

And with that Spock’s emotional journey is complete.

29) And the crew is returned to a recommissioned Enterprise. They are home (see title) and this trilogy is complete.

I wildly enjoy Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. You wouldn’t think a Star Trek film where they save the whales would work but it does. The lightened tone is well appreciated as is the choice to focus more on the crew of the enterprise. The humor is phenomenal, the message is heartwarming, and it is just a feel good film all around. A wonderful treat for fans old and new.

[fanfictionformost-blog]

Tour Bondy Fic

You had been dating Bondy a little over a year now but for the last three and a half months he had been on tour. Thank God the boys were doing a show a few towns over from you tomorrow. It was gonna take four hours but you were driving down to spend the night with Bondy. You wouldn't have long together but whatever time you did get would make the drive well worth it. Plus you were super excited to see them play, you adored Bondy but first and for most you were a CATB fan.

Finally you arrived at the hotel the boys were staying at, you parked and shot a text off to your long lost boyfriend. 

*Hey im here! <3*

*Then come to room 201 my lady* 

You giggled with anticipation grabbing your bag and stepping out of your car. You had to consciously make an effort not to run. By the time you made it to room 102 you were out of breath, Partly because you were incredibly excited but also because you couldn't help it and ran a little. You knocked on the door and put on an old Hollywood voice saying “Oh detective Bond ive misplaced my man you must help me!” “Y/N?” you heard Van say before the door swung opened and you were enveloped in a hug from Bondy. “Detective Bond... did i just over hear some crazy sex role-play thing?” Van asked wiggling his brows.”No no just some i miss you fun” You said wiggling your brows back before giving Bondy a kiss on the lips then disconnecting the hug. “Alright well Van was just leaving so...” Bondy said motioning to the door. “Ok mate I get it, Bye lovely Y/N” Van said before making his exit. “I missed you so much” Bondy said before desperately connecting your lips together. You kissed for a little while before you decided to stay in for a movie and chill night.

Bondy picked the movie, well TV show. Old re runs of The Twilight Zone, your communal favorite. You picked the snacks, Chinese with gas station donuts from your car ride earlier. With that all that there was left to do was cuddle and enjoy your time.

Three hours later and Bondy was full happy and falling asleep on your shoulder. Not exactly the night you had hoped for, but still exactly what you needed.

The next morning Bondys alarm went off early. “7:30 really?” you asked in a sleepy tone. “yeah sorry love, interviews,meetings, sound check, and then a show its a busy day.” “well I hope you can find some time for me somewhere” you say burring your face in Bondys neck. “After the show, one hour is all though and then we shove off.” Bondy answers then kissed the top of your head, he then gets up and gets ready for his day. You just watch happy he is yours.

Since Bondy was busy all day you decided to go window shopping to pass the time. Lots of little antique shops in this town. Then you had some lunch at a little diner. Right after that you headed back to the hotel to read until show time. The hours drug on and on until 8 finally rolled around, you were waiting side stage since 7:45. The show was awesome Bondy kept winking at you during the set. Now he was walking off stage eyes locked on you. He grabbed you by the arm and led you toward an unmarked room.You smiled and followed knowing exactly what was going to happen. Once Bondy found the desired room with a couch he pushed you down on top of it, You giggled and bit your lip looking up at him through your lashes. He growl/groaned and then attached his lips to your neck, making you moan and grab his hair gently but needily. Things carried on like that for the next hour until you were both completely naked, covered in sweat, and satisfied. “I love you Y/N” Bondy panted. “ I love you too” you replied breathlessly. And with that your first tour hook up was coming to an end, you both got dressed, kissed, hugged, and said your goodbyes. you felt a bit sad but so fulfilled and ready to do it all over again.  

[geekade]

Welcome to the D-List: Jack Flag

It’s no secret that the 1990s were incredible – especially for comics. Giant muscles, costumes with an unnecessary amount of pouches, and beach-ball shaped boobs made that decade the most glorious time to be alive. Amidst all the timeless artwork and NFL SuperPros, a unique hero assisted Captain America in the fight for our right to play with Pogs.

Jack Flag was such an enormous patriot, he dyed his hair red, white, and blue. Unfortunately, he and his star-spangled scalp appeared infrequently and the hero would disappear from comics for years at a time. However, I believe that Jack Flag was simply a character full of unused potential. This month, it’s time to welcome the grand-old and high-flying Jack Flag to the D-List.

Jack first appeared in Captain America #434 in 1994. Created by Mark Gruenwald and Dave Hoover, Jack’s first appearance on-panel was epic – he carried a boom box that could shoot lasers, and used it to stop two members of the Serpent Society from robbing a bank (no amber waves of grain for villainy). Sadly, that epic boom box would never be seen again. 

While Jack was quite an extravagant character, Gruenwald did his best to grant the hero a legitimate origin during his first appearance (by legitimate, I mean slightly less ridiculous than boom-box lasers). Jack Harrison and his brother, Drake, were volunteers for Captain America’s hotline network, and even fought local crime. Unfortunately, the Drakes were forced out of their home because of a scheme conducted by the Serpent Society. Initially, Jack didn’t have any superpowers, so he lifted weights and trained in the martial arts in order to exact vengeance on the evil group.

Jack attempted to trick the Society’s leader, King Cobra, into letting him join the villainous team. King Cobra did not believe that Jack truly wanted to join the Serpents, so he sent Flag on a suicide mission to retrieve something from Mr. Hyde. Jack and Hyde fought, but the hero was knocked into some chemicals that Hyde conveniently left on a nearby table. Hyde’s chemicals granted Jack super strength, and he swiftly defeated the villain. Although Jack returned victorious, King Cobra unleashed his Society on the hero. However, one of Captain America’s sidekicks, Free Spirit, arrived and helped Jack escape. Jack Flag frequently teamed up with Free Spirit, and the sidekicks worked quite well together (she was the dandy to his Yankee Doodle).

Sure, Jack Flag punched some bad guys, got a few bruises, and did so looking like a 4th of July fetishist, but as quickly as Jack Flag appeared, he disappeared for years (hit the road, Jack). Patriotic sidekicks may have seemed too cheesy and obvious to utilize within Captain America comics, so subsequent writers likely had no use for Jack. He reappeared a decade later, however, in a very badass capacity.

Jack was living in an apartment with his girlfriend when they overheard some local jerks harassing a young woman. Jack put an end to their intimidation, but the hooligans contacted the authorities regarding the unregistered superhuman in their building; Jack refused to register during the “Civil War” storyline. Jack put on his costume and readied himself for battle – the Thunderbolts arrived outside of his apartment, and the ensuing fight was amazing to watch.

As someone who, until this point, seemed like more of a joke than a serious combatant, it was incredible to watch Jack Flag singlehandedly fight the Thunderbolts and do as well as he did. He broke Swordsman’s helmet and sword, kicked a piece of the sword into Venom’s chest, threw a broken rim into an airborne Songbird’s throat, and walked away from Penance’s blasts (all while gallantly streaming). These killers could not overpower this one, unpopular hero, until Bullseye ambushed Jack and stabbed him in the back. The villain paralyzed Jack from the waist down, and Flag was left in a Negative Zone prison.

The battle with the Thunderbolts truly proved that Jack Flag had the potential to be a powerful hero. The man refused to get rid of his costume, even after years of inactivity, because of what it stood for, and was ready to fight for what he believed in. That kind of dedication is truly heroic, and the skill that Jack displayed when he fought a team of killers was amazing.

Jack met Star-Lord in the Negative Zone prison when Blastaar attacked, and the two heroes were rescued by the Guardians of the Galaxy. Through the power of the cosmos and comic-book logic, the medical team on the Guardians’ base healed Jack’s paralysis and he was able to walk again. Unfortunately, his participation with the Guardians never amounted to anything substantial (little more than jack-shit, actually). Though I’m happy he was used throughout volume 2 of Guardians of the Galaxy, he never got the spotlight. Once this volume ended, Jack wasn’t seen again for quite a few years.

I understand that not every character in Marvel’s vast catalogue can be constantly utilized, but this guy was patriotic! Captain America couldn’t have made him an Avenger? There were no more space battles that warranted Jack’s attention? For the majority of another decade, Jack was absent from comics. Thankfully, when Captain America: Steve Rogers debuted in 2016, Jack returned…briefly. Goddammit, Marvel…

Although the circumstances weren’t explained, Jack returned to Earth, and both Flag and Free Spirit were assisting Captain America on missions once again. The trio were alerted to Baron Zemo’s location, but the villain tried to escape via plane as they arrived (the only thing deadlier than snakes on a plane is Zemos on a plane). Cap chased him, but Zemo gained the upper hand as they battled. Jack leapt onto the aircraft, knocked Zemo unconscious, and saved Steve. Although visibly upset and apologetic, Captain America pushed Jack out of the plane. Free Spirit found Jack on the ground with a weak pulse, and a medical team took him to a hospital where he remained in a coma.

Unfortunately, Jack’s survival was a liability to Captain America’s nefarious plans for world domination, so Steve prepared to end Jack’s life by poisoning his IV drip. As Cap was about to do so, Free Spirit entered the room and told Steve that she and the doctors decided to pull the plug; they didn’t believe that Jack was going to recover (so I suppose this was his twilight’s last gleaming). 

Come on, Marvel! This guy tried so hard to help the popular characters around him, he deserved a better death than this (at least some rockets’ red glare, or maybe even some bombs bursting in air). While Jack Flag had an extremely simplistic origin, there was still plenty of potential to develop his character. Now that this D-List hero is dead, it may be years before a writer decides to revive him.

To my knowledge, Jack Flag has never appeared outside of the Marvel 616 Universe. While so many people have been angry about Nick Spencer’s treatment of Captain America recently, I’ve just been pissed that Jack was killed immediately after his first appearance in years. The ridiculousness of his initial appearances, the amazing battle with the Thunderbolts, his time with the Guardians of the Galaxy, and his recent return prove that Jack Flag is a timeless character. Until a writer brings him back into the Marvel Universe, forever in peace may you wave, Jack Flag.