#man I want an iterator robe now

[abs0luteanarchy]

right forgot to post this too

I need to draw more rain world shit

[zippidi-dooda]

Rollo neatly stacked his bunch of papers, sitting ever so properly at his large oak desk. The fireplace crackled warmly from across the room, providing the only other light save for the decorative lamp on his desk. The astral patterns on the vintage lampshade casted faint images across the walls. It was a very cozy feel overall. But the man behind the desk didn't seem to care about that fact.

"I'd rather we didn't have all these festivities, but it is tradition and the people have come to grow attached to it." He said in response to your invitation.

"In addition to the locals, the light festival draws in countless tourists each year. I'd be hard set not to conduct the city decorations and street performances. I'll be out shortly to supervise the goings on, but make no mistake, I will not enjoy one bit of it."

"So, that's a no then?" You iterated, his words having gone in one end then out the other.

Stormy eyes glanced up at you from over thick papers. "No."

Rollo stood, then placed a hand on your back to guide you out the door. "Feel free to explore with one of the fellow councilmen instead, they're quite fond of the light show and will be dying to show you the best sights. If you happen to run into me during your perusal, please do not disturb as I will be on duty."

"But don't you get a break or something?"

"No. Good day, L/N." And with that final firm rejection, Rollo shut the heavy door in your face.

Attempt number who-knows-what now that the mayor of Fleur City had refused to participate in any fun during the holidays. Or any day for that matter. And it wasn't just you who invited him to partake in the events, all the councilmen and even a few citizens who knew him tried to urge a few hours of harmless off'the'clock onto him.

And it never worked.

He stayed cooped up in his offices, reading over problems and minor inconveniences posed around the city. You were greatful for his diligence, of course, but the deep bags under his eyes and blank expressions worried you. If you could convince him to take even half an hour distracted from his work you'd be happy.

But so far, no one knew how to achieve that.

Dejected and puzzling over your next move, you ambled off to join the rest of the town for the festival.

It worked to cheer you up, laughing and chatting with old friends, taking pictures surrounded by the jolly lights strung around each house, and sipping away at sweet and toasty beverages. The perfect day to end a day.

You continued on like this for a while, face warm despite the cold chill in the air, smiling as if you hadn't a care in the world.

Then you spotted the serious official just across the street. He stood tall, dark, flowing robes sticking out greatly against the bright, colorful lights. Like a fleck of ash among shimmery snow. The purple cloth pressed against his lips doing little to hide the clear distaste in his beach gray eyes.

It was almost comical in a way. If he wanted to blend in, why keep to the same clothes and guestures the people had long since grown accustomed to?

You waited till he was a bit further along the street before running over. The smile didn't leave your lips as you latched onto his arm , pulling him the other way. You knew he didn't need to help supervise the event, he'd assigned plenty of others to the task already. And you all agreed to cover his chores if one of you managed to convince the man to take a break. This was your chance to try again.

"Hey, Rollo! I need your help with something. Come with me?"

"Y/N?" He sighed, "alright, but it better be important."

"Is it, I promise." You lied, pulling him along. "It's a few blocks down so it might take a while."

You kept a firm hold on his arm as you walked, guising it as you didn't want to loose him in the crowd.

"So how is your patrol going?"

"Fine." He sighed, keeping step with you. "No fights thus far but that won't last long I'd imagine."

"Well you can relax till then, can't you?"

"Unlikely. I need to check up on the booths and stalls, make sure they're performing well, then-"

"Ah, then let's check this one here first!"

Rollo held back his disgust as you dragged him towards one of the crowded huts. "Y/N, you-"

"Hey, how's it going? Smoothly? Yeah, I knew that. But you know, Rollo, always the worry wart. Well, you guys keep up the good work. Say, you guys think we get two of those for the road? Yay! Thanks! Rollo, say thank you."

"... thank you."

The mayor was disgruntled as you chatted up the vendors, each of you acting as if he wasn't standing right there. His brow furrowed and he pressed his neat cloth to his lips.

"You ever tried this before?" You asked, handing him one of the hot styrofoam cups and taking a sip from your own.

"Of course. Though only once as it serves no purpose to better one's health."

"Just once? Even though we have all these festivals?" You asked keeping along the path, your free hand still looped through his arm.

"Yes. It's sickeningly sweet. I don't see how you people like them."

"Oh, c'mon, it's not that bad. Drink it, you don't want it to go to waste." You urged shoving him gently. "Now that I think about, we never see you eat. You a vampire or something?"

"Such a creature is improbable. I simple enjoy lunching alone. And I'd prefer if it stays that way."

"Mmm." You opted to look around at the twinkling lights decorating the nooks rather than his side eye. "You know, we could-"

"Hey!" Rollo snapped, yanking you back and nearly sending both your drinks flying.

Alarmed, you looked back to see what was the issue only to find a little white goat butting its nubby horns into Rollo. It's teeth comfortably gnawing on his black robes.

"Shoo, go back from where you came from."

If you didn't know any better, you'd say the collected mayor looked about ready to kick the poor thing.

Rollo untangled himself from you, crouching to pry away the goat. "I know you can understand me, so bugger off. Clothes are not adequate food for you."

After a moment of tugging he managed to get the animal to back off. The goat bleated, bucking into Rollo's knees, and you saw a dark fire growing in the man's eyes.

"You little-! ... you know what ...? Here, I'll give you some of this if you agree to stop behaving this way."

"Rollo! You can't-"

"No! Not the cup, you dim-witted creature!" Rollo exasperated, tugging back his now empty and half eaten cup of hot cocoa.

The goat, meanwhile, munched merrily away, not at all interested in the drink staining the cobbles or the fuming man in front of him.

You held back a laugh as you watched Rollo incessantly try to keep himself from causing a bigger scene.

"Fine. Does this satisfy you?" He stood, brushing off his robes and put on his familiar mask, ready to walk ahead of it all. "Come along, Y/N, we had to help you with something, yes? Hey! Not again you-"

You bit your tongue as you picked up the little goat before it could run away with Rollo's large hat.

"It's still just a baby, Mister Flamme. He doesn't know any better." You handed the man back his hat, the long, red tassle hanging from it now damp with spit.

The goat sat docilly in your arms, bleating happily as you pet his soft fur. Rollo looked on with disdain.

"Maybe so. But like a child, it knows what it's doing."

"Seems there are some here that don't like you." You teased setting the goat down and shooing him away.

It did not even kick up a fuss, trotting away into the crowd.

Rollo, covered his mouth with his cloth, hand gripping tightly.

You took his tattered cup and tossed it along with yours before grabbing his free arm again and pulling him along. You rested your head on his shoulder, bright smile lighting your face.

"I'm guessing you weren't the type to have pets at home as a kid?"

He scoffed. "I hardly see how that's relevant."

You shrugged. "Just saying. Maybe if you spend some time with it on your daily walks he'll stop bugging you all the time."

"I'd rather it wasn't allowed to ...," he trailed off with a huff. "No, pay me no mind. Are we close to the place you needed me for?"

"Uh ... yeah, yeah, sure. First, why don't we-"

"Y/N, I don't-"

"Excuse me! Mister Flamme! Please, would you like one of these? I'm sure you could find someone who'd appreciate it." A elder man rang, pulling on Rollo's elbow and gesturing towards his little handmade display.

There was a neat spread of green branches dotted with red berries and tied with a neat ribbon. A shabby sign with messily scrawled letters read "Mistletoe 50 Cents."

You didn't think the stoic man next to you would so readily buy it.

"Take this as well."

"Oh! Thank you, Mister Flamme! May you have a blessed holiday! I hope you good fortune with this! Thank you, thank you!"

Rollo carried along with you still on his arm, his free hand now occupied by the evergreen.

Did you face feel warmer all of a sudden?

"... That was nice of you ...."

"Old man won't make much with these. He sells many useless items year-round. I try to advise him to sounder products but he refuses to listen. Stubborn."

You looked down. "I wouldn't be so sure about that." Unable to resist, you asked, "do you know what those are for?"

"Yes."

You looked up again, stomach tumbling as your heart rose. "You do?"

He was stone faced, stormy beach eyes fixed forward. Nose and cheeks were tinged a slight red, but you knew it was simply from the chill wind.

"Yes. It's a symbol of peace and good fortune as a goddess once wished it to never again be used as a weapon. Or at least that's how the story goes."

"And ... that's it?"

"Some use it in hopes of gaining fertility. Though that poses no real truth of cause."

"And?"

"And what? Do you want it? I'll admit I had no plans for it and it was just as likely to end up in the trash as the rest of them."

Quick to look back down, hand subconsciously squeezing onto his arm. "Ah, n-no. I'm good."

You continued on for longer in silence, mind wandering and wondering. Rollo was a serious man, perhaps he simply didn't know the most known tradition. You were in no place to teach him then, were you?

"We've reached the end of the festival area, I take this as there was no trouble you needed my help to begin with?"

You looked up, noting how you'd reached the iron fence lined edge of the seine.

The water was sparkling in the moonlight, gorgeous as it'll ever be. The streetlights sent an orange glow across the empty street. All the hustle and bustle of the festival was behind you leaving a strange dissonance between here and the rest of the still and quiet city.

Rollo leaned against the rail, cupping his cheek as he looked out at the water. "Suppose you finally managed to get me away from my work. Happy now?"

You leaned next to him. "A bit. Though it wasn't as fun a day out as I'd imagined it'd be what with you being at arms with a goat."

He rolled his eyes at your laugh. "Little bastard fools everyone into thinking he's cute. But you just saw today that he isn't."

You smiled resting your shoulder against his. "He is."

He hummed in disagreeance.

You both stood there for a moment, looking out at the bubbling river. The light here was different, less bright and colorful around every corner, but equally as beautiful.

"Will you be heading back, now?"

Rollo paused, breath coming out in soft white puffs. "No. I'm already here. Might as well spare a few more moments."

You nodded.

"Rollo?"

"Hm?"

"I liked spending time with you. I hope I can catch a break with you again soon."

He hummed in response.

You watched him, noting the way his expression seemed to relax, tired eyes drooping down, short hair ringing around his face like a silver halo. Quite the sight.

"Rollo?"

"Yes?"

"..."

As he waited for you to speak he lifted up the mistletoe. He raised it to his eyes, twirling it around slowly, simply observing it. And just as you found to courage to open your mouth, you watched as he cast the plant into the river. Green leaves and red berries bobbed slowly downstream. Until they were drowned beneath the water.

And you lost your words again.

"You had something to say?"

"Oh?" You looked down to where you clasped your hands over the rail. "Nothing. I forgot."

He turned his head to you, pondering for a moment with his blank expression. "Did you enjoy yourself tonight?"

You nodded, "Mhmm."

"... Good."

He looked up at the sky, noting the stars' sparkle. Lightly, his fingers tapped against the rails.

"Rollo I-"

"I know a place we-"

You chuckled as you cut each other off. "Sorry, you go first."

"No, please, you go on."

"No, it's alright. You can-"

"Y/N." He gave you his stern look.

You glanced down briefly before turning to him. "Um ... did you know that it's bad luck to throw away mistletoe like that?"

"How so?"

"Well ... they say it means it'll be difficult to find a partner after that."

"Mm. Well, I am not looking so ...." He shrugged.

You looked down again. He was shutting you down before he even knew it. As always.

"Do you believe in that superstitious drivel?"

"Well, I dunno. Maybe? It had to have been made up for some reason."

He hummed. "And you wish to break that misfortune?"

"Uhh ...?"

"There is a way. Supposedly. Though I have already threw the spring so it probably wouldn't work."

You raised a brow. "There is? I never heard that part before ...."

He nodded, covering his face with his cloth, the purple and stary fabric muffling his words. "You're supposed to kiss a person for every berry, then pluck them off the branch till there's none."

"I didn't even count them."

"Me neither." He kept his gaze skyward. "But some still try."

The rose in his cheeks spread to his ears, then seemed to spread to you.

"... do you ...?"

"Hah, as if I'd bother with that nonsense." He turned to you, brows curled angrily down and kerchief still over his mouth. "There is a charm to tradition though. And I've never been one to stray away from it."

You found it hard to swallow. "Is it worth it if we can't pluck the branch anymore?"

He made a show of shrugging, looking at the water again. "I dunno. But if it worries you that much ...."

You reached out, gently placing a hand atop his to bring his handkerchief down. "... Better safe than sorry ...?"

He breathed deeply and nodded.

First you leaned forward slowly. Then he followed, squeezing shut his eyes and puckering his lips. A small smile broke out against your own lips before pressing them together.

One breath, two breaths, three, then you broke apart.

It wasn't even a second before he reached out a hand, cupping it in your hair, a thumb caressing softly. "I said for every berry."

You let out a breathless laugh, watching his stern face grow increasingly rosey. "We don't know how many berries there were."

"Well ... I ... um ... you said it yourself, 'Better safe than sorry.'"

The smile threatened to stay on your lips. "This could take forever."

"We'll have to over compensate. Just to be sure."

You closed your eyes, resting your forehead against his. "I know. You like to cover all your bases."

"Right ..." His lips grazed over yours. "So?"

"I'd like that."

"Good."

So you kissed again, longer now, drawing yourself closer to him. A groan left his lips as you pulled away, his body warmer against you. There was a three second pause as you looked into each other's eyes. Then you drew in close again, each kiss longer than the last, holding on dearly and closer, repeating the same actions over and over and over again. Till another councilman rushed over, flustered by the scene, alerting the red faced mayor of trouble back at the festival.

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Loving your new yandere set 2! I’m back again to ask a question for all the men (yandere set 1)

What would be each yanderes’ ideal outfit/clothing style they’d want to dress up their darling in? (Basically if the yandere had full control and decision making over their darling’s wardrobe from now on)

For example…casual outfit, fancy formal, the yandere man’s own clothing, etc. Or is there a specific piece/accessory that’d make them go wild like high heels, oversized shirt, sundress, etc.?

Also, will you do the same asks I’ve sent in before with the yandere set 2 once they’re completed? (Ranking as fathers, how they’d behave if their child/ren were yanderes, dream date…any other I missed that I sent in?)

Thanks as always, you’re the best! And I hope school is still going ok for you!

Yandere! Men and their Choice of Outfit for You

Heyya! Well, about the choice to make the second set of Yanderes with the same question. Not gonna lie, it sounds exhausting 😭 maybe if I felt like it, I will do it!

YAN! ARTIST

Arlen wants to matchy-match with you, so he definitely would pick soft light academia looks. Cardigans, sweaters, a-line skirts, pants, with boots, loafers or kitten heels. Then a small, statement pin of a palette on you and him!

He will go crazy though if you wore his paint apron with nothing underneath. Let's just say you won't walk straight for some days if you did that. He'll paint you with his colors if you do that, that's for sure *wink

YAN! DRAGON

Lavish outfits just for you, his royal partner. Silk, satin, cotton of the highest quality, velvet, with golds and jewels to decorate your sacred royal body. And, he'll pluck a scale from his body and give it to a smith to create jewel out of it just for you. Vincent will personally put it on your neck. Then suddenly, the other jewels seems so insignificant...

Yet, he goes crazy whenever you will only wear a robe on your body. God, just seeing you teasingly show off skin to your dragon husband is enough to warrant his want to breed you. And that's like... Everyday.

YAN! THEATER ACTOR

Ignatius would want to match cosplays with you of roles and plays he was in. May it be from Waitress, Heathers, Ride the Cyclone, Dear Evan Hansen, Wicked... This man will conjure casual cosplays with you. Of course, not the costume and outfit itself, but like a casual iteration of it if warranted.

But, his most favorite is seeing you in outfits that he wore and that his character dons. Not the leading lady/man, but that character itself. Let's say, if you wore the JD costume that he wore too, he'll perform Dead Girl Walking all night with you.

YAN! BUTLER

Well, with Zero... In the earlier stages, he would be adamant of choosing outfits that you won't wear. So he'll still clothe you in noble clothes.

But once Zero has developed his own tastes, he'll want to see you in a maid outfit. Yes, even if you're masculine presenting. Something that's remotely lower than his personal butler status. He will have a field day watching you fluster and order you around for a change. And it will end up in a weird power dynamic that both of you will end up wanting for more.

YAN! SUGAR DADDY

Rowan loves seeing you in all of these high end clothes. No, not branded clothes that you can easily see from malls. No, definitely not that. But clothes from runways? Clothes that are exclusive from Fashion Week that has only a handful of copies? Outfits from fashion designers with fees so high it makes a person weep? Yeah. Those. It displays his raw money and prestige. And seeing them on your body is like owning you completely <3

Nothing beats it though if you incorporate his clothes with yours. Like you made his shirt as your dress with a belt on the waist to wear on dates or outings? Let's say that the both of you aren't gonna go to the outing after all.

YAN! JOCK

He will still clothe you on your normal clothes. He liked it that way. He doesn't remotely care about dressing you in clothes he likes, but buying clothes of your taste but with a higher quality is something he will like immensely.

But, if you wear Damon's letterman jacket though... He'll get so pumped and suddenly, with you cheering on the bleachers with his jacket on, he's scoring points left and right. And when he inevitably wins, he'll have his celebratory win with doing his ways with you. Interpret that as how you like lol

YAN! ASSASSIN

You, in formal clothes, but with harnesses? How does that work? You don't know. But he makes it work really well. He loves seeing you in these corporate attires but with touches of his own tastes on your body. And, harnesses are restricting. Like he's restraining you, owning you, making a statement that you're his.

Although, he has twisted tastes though. If he just came from a mission a bloody mess? Let's say goodbye to the clothes you're wearing that day, and that you're gonna spend the rest of the day washing off blood from your body. Yeah, he's into that.

YAN! EX-BOYFRIEND

Lee would love to wear you in casual coquette clothes. He thinks it would look cute on you. And he's right! It fits so much with how amazing on you. And then, he would make you wear other styles too! Academia, cottage, even cyber. He will make it up to you by showering you with gifts of clothes that he knew will look good on you no matter the style.

He will go crazy if you did tropical stuff though. Tropical gyaru, beach core, sailor outfits... He's a sweating mess when he's watching you in that swimming outfit and it's not even hot out (The beach traumatized him and he's coping it in a somehow healthy way).

YAN! COWBOY

Is it obvious? Cowboy clothes all the way! Flared jeans, patterns, flannels, boots, he will have a field day deciding on a buckle for your belt. He loves seeing you in clothes from his daily life. It made it feel like you're integrating yourself for him (despite the clothes being his choice and not yours lol)

And this one is also obvious. His cowboy hat on you will never fail to make him excited in one way or another. If you wear it by yourself whenever you're doing the deed? Get ready. His stamina just increased tenfold and you will be needing a horse to transport you everywhere.

YAN! EMO

Ashton will dress you in Jirai Kei clothes! HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW THAT? As a child of the internet, he of course discovered different types of alt fashion. He got too immersed and found Jirai Kei, and he absolutely loved it. So, expect frills, dark cutesy clothes with a hint of vulnerability due to it's origin, it's the perfect matching fashion with him despite not really being emo.

He's aware of Jirai Kei's dark history and implication though, and if he knows you're not comfortable with those, then, he'll completely dress you in emo clothes. There is a reason though why he went with Jirai first and not emo. Whenever you wore emo, he gets so aroused, especially it's the opposite of your original fashion choice. He loves tainting you with blacks and darkness, with the vulnerability and intimacy he enjoys so much.

YAN! WEREWOLF

Greens, blues, browns... Anything nature themed would do good for him. So, cottage core is the go to for this guy. He loves seeing you in these cute dresses that has floral hints that blended seamlessly with the nature of the place you both live in. Like you belonged, like you were his.

But, seeing you wear stuff you knitted from his wolf fur is what would set him off. Even if it's just a scarf or gloves, he WILL groan from the want he's feeling. Breeding you won't be enough, he wants you to smell like him completely.

YAN! EX-HUSBAND

Inigo, just like Rowan, would not want generic branded clothes on your body. But, unlike him, he will have a tailor to make formal, casual, evening, sleeping, active wear clothes just for you. Only one in the world. Even if the tailor or designer isn't well known, but if that designer is really skilled and do clothes that will fit you, then he's sold.

But, if he sees you in his shirt and nothing more than maybe your undergarments? Such a vulnerable choice of clothes is guaranteed to make him want to have more children from you ;)

YAN! HOSPITAL CHAIRPERSON

Xavier is a simple man. He would love to see you in flowy clothes. I mean, somehow, something on you should make you look free and not locked up in his mansion due to his anxiety and paranoia, right? So, light, airy clothes would ebb the guilt he's feeling inside from locking you up.

You wearing his white coat though would make him throw the guilt out of the window though. He'll go haywire, since his coat would probably have bacteria, virus, or anything that can harm your health on it! So, he'll punish you greatly by "sanitizing" you. Not medically accurate? Meh. He's too far gone to think straight from the pleasure.

YAN! VILLAIN

Eros on the other hand from the other nobility yanderes, he would love to see you wear simple clothes. Sure, he will gift you regal clothes fit for nobility, but nothing beats seeing you shed from your noble life and just relax in his arms in simple garments just like back in earth for him, and just like back in your childhood for you.

Although, seeing you in modern earth clothes for him is guaranteed to satisfy him. Not casual clothes, but in evening gown clothes with high slits, straps, backless, clothes that will kill a conservative lady in Saphiri. It makes him feel like he's in earth, and how he wishes to whisk you away in this life back home.

YAN! POLITICIAN

Maximus would give you clothes that is reminiscent of the 50's. Skirts and dresses below the knees, pearls, something not revealing yet so classy and elegant. It's okay if it's figure hugging, but he will pick something that is not short and with no windows to show off your skin. It's only for his eyes, and nobody else's.

He will go crazy seeing you in modern clothes though. It is a secret, and it's up to you if you decided to tease and test him and wear short, cocktail dresses with a backless design and tube tops. He'll "punish" you for it, burying himself deep in you as he whispers who you belong to.

YAN! MAFIA BOSS

Hades would dress you in something not reminiscent of his work. So light academia, cottage core, coquette, kawaii, anything that doesn't taint you with his job. Although, that "not tainting" bizz is just on your clothing though. Other than that, like your lifestyle will inevitably be tainted. Whether he likes it or not.

If you did decide to wear clothes that fits the "mafia" aesthetic (whatever that means), he'll get inexplicably aroused. Seeing you in this strong and authoritative style is making him want to put you in your place.

[diviningrodtv]

Five Rotten Pebbles ref time yay!

So, I realised I probably had enough already existing resources to make a good reference post. Though, I got stuck using the pico8 color pallete for the video there.

✨Notable Features✨

Fluffy ears/balding old man hairline - Due to biological contamination from the creatures the rot cyst ate before his puppet, mostly Wilson, he is now slightly fluffy. He is very annoyed by this fact, do not point it out, do not pet- "Do and call him and 'Ear-terator' >:]"

"Mascara lines" - You know that one graffiti graphic where Pebbles looks like he has bleeding mascara? That. You don't come out looking your best after being eaten alive by a rot cyst.

Outfit - After the rot dug through his chest it was easier just to wear his robes backwards.

Feets - Feets, they're digitigrade and have two clawed toes. He might be taller if he stood up straight too.

Handhandhandhand - He can use every rotten arm of his like a hand, but they only have two clawed fingers and don't have any thumbs. You also won't get infected by rot if you touch him, or if he bites you. Normally he just rests them on his sides and shoulders.

Rotten arms cont* - They're in there. Like, it would fucking hurt and he might bleed to death if you tried to rip them out. After all, they're the corrupted remains of his umbilical arm.

Glowy - His claws and internals are a bright blue, and if you caught sight of him in a dark room, they, along with his eyes and some spots on his ears, would glow slightly.

He also likes to stand up on his rotten arms to scare random creatures he doesn't like. Scavs.

Nom bite chomp - Iterators in this world cannot leave their cans for three main reasons. First, the barrier of genome modification. Second, puppets do not contain enough brain matter to remain sentient when disconnected. And third, the puppet would soon starve to death, as it is incapable of eating. Pebbles, luckily, was granted the solution to these problems in the form of being eaten alive by one of his own rot cysts, yay! Unfortunately, he now has to eat lizards and other random garbage to survive. Someone please get him a kitchen. He does not need to move his mouth to speak, but his voice gets louder when he does, which is ideal for yelling at things. His teeth are black and needle-like, so I would not recommend daring him to bite you.

Other bits n bobs - He's completely disconnected from his systems. No just opening gates, no connecting directly to overseers, or to the communication arrays. He must suffer. Expect to find him struggling to get an overseer to connect every time he needs to send a message. At least he can still read pearls.

If I missed anything you want to know, just send in an ask!

[ghostinthewires]

Prompt: Primo is spending time in his garden and teaching Mountain how to artfully make tea blends!

Lavender and Honey

wc: 1124 words

Primo is enjoying a peaceful summer day in the sunshine of the abbey gardens. Mountain comes to him with a request for help that he is only too happy to fulfil.

Also posted to AO3.

Primo walked slowly along a verge of grass, smiling gently at the flowers blooming in their beds. It was the height of summer, and another beautiful day.  He had foregone his usual heavy robes in exchange for lighter slacks and a shirt; a giggling Sister had passed him in the corridor earlier and complimented his sunglasses. Sunglasses he had stolen back from his fratellino Terzo. For the second time this week. He made a note to himself to get Terzo the ugliest sunglasses he could find for his next birthday.

He nodded and grinned at a small group of Siblings as they passed, all with some iteration of “Hi Papa” on their lips. Stopping at the end of the path, he turned to look back at the garden in all of its glory. Roses, lavender, hyacinths, carnations, and sunflowers, his favourite. Further away, the area for vegetables and the fruit orchards that all helped to feed the abbey. The man watched amusedly as a honeybee floated past and landed in a clump of marigolds. Most likely one from the hives kept by a few of the Siblings. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when looking after the abbey gardens had become his greatest joy and favourite hobby, but he couldn’t imagine life without it now.

Sighing contentedly, Primo turned the corner to the greenhouses but slowed his approach at the sight of a ghoul crouched over a tray of seedlings. How the ghouls could stand to be outside in their silver masks he didn’t understand, and not for the first time considered it cruel.

The ghoul evidently heard him coming, for their head lifted from looking at the tray to Primo’s steady approach. They stood, and the man immediately smiled. The height could only mean Mountain. The earth ghoul was a secret favourite of his. Not a real secret, he supposed, since they spent a good amount of time working together in peaceful silence in the gardens.

He spoke in his soft low voice as Primo got closer. “What are you growing in here?”

The man looked down, identifying the tiny seedlings. “Lupins. I hope they’ll be blue.”

Mountain hummed. “I always liked the pink ones. They looked so pretty together with the osteospermum you had a few years ago.”

Primo smiled at the memory. “They did, didn’t they? We’ll have to wait and see then.”

He moved to open the door of the nearest greenhouse, letting out the initial blast of heat before going inside. He was aware of Mountain’s lingering stare as he propped open the roof vent to let the air circulate. He let the silence lie for a while before speaking.

“You know,” the man started. “I’ve been an eldest brother for a very long time.”

Mountain tilted his head, in obvious confusion, but stayed silent.

Primo turned to Mountain with a kind look. “And that means I’ve gotten very good at telling when people want something they don’t know how to ask for.”

Mountain froze for a second, then laughed. “I suppose… I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

Primo nodded, turning back to the bench in front of him to organize as Mountain spoke. A little touched that the ghoul had come to him, of all people, for help with something. “Of course, I’m listening. Come inside and take off that mask if you want, Sister doesn’t have to know. I don’t know how you can keep it on in this weather.”

Mountain stepped over the threshold of the greenhouse and unclipped the mask behind his head, pulling it away and wiping at the sweat running down his face. His brilliant green eyes glinted in the sunlight. “Thank you.”

Primo hummed and they lapsed into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Primo didn’t push this time. Eventually Mountain spoke again. “It’s about Cumulus.”

Primo froze, turning to the earth ghoul. “Is she alright?”

“She’s fine,” Mountain said quickly, realizing that had been the wrong way to start and feeling bad as Primo visibly relaxed again. “Nothing bad has happened. It’s just, with the weather like this, she’s been struggling to sleep at night. Everyone has, but her especially. It’s worrying us to see her so exhausted all the time. She keeps falling asleep during meals, and in mass yesterday. We just… we don’t really know what to do. I know you like to make your own tea, I was wondering if you had any ideas on something that could help her?”

Primo perked up. “Of course! I have a few ideas. Come with me and we’ll sort something out.”

They walked together, Primo listening in silence as the masked-again Mountain talked about how worried the rest of the ghouls were about Cumulus, all the things they’d tried to help her sleep better. He thought this might be the most he’d ever heard the earth ghoul speak in one sitting.

They walked through the gardens for a couple of hours together, Primo taking a break every now and then on the benches he had gotten placed throughout the beautiful area. He showed Mountain various herbs and ingredients, discussed what ones went well together, showed him the best way to harvest them. Then he took Mountain over to a different greenhouse where he kept the empty teabags, and showed the ghoul how to fill them properly.

“And if you ask in the kitchen, the ghouls there can show you where the honey is kept, if you think she’d like that.”

Mountain nodded, clutching the things Primo had given him.

“Thank you, Papa, really. I appreciate you spending the afternoon to help me.”

Primo shook his head, smiling. “I’m glad I could help. Let me know how it goes, yes?”

Mountain nodded. “Of course. Thank you.”

Primo watched contentedly as the ghoul hurried away back to the abbey. That’s the nicest afternoon I’ve had all summer, he couldn’t help but think as he walked back to the first greenhouse where he had met the ghoul a few hours earlier. Movement on the abbey steps caught his eye, and he watched as one of the ghoulettes – Cirrus, he thought – met Mountain half way up, and bounced on the spot at the sight of the ingredients in his hands. She gestured as she spoke to him excitedly, too far away for Primo to hear, and the two of them made their way inside.

Primo shut up the greenhouse and started for the abbey himself, relishing the feeling of the sun on his back. Winter would be here before they knew it, and the abbey would plunge into darkness and ice. But for now, he simply smiled as another honeybee passed him by and enjoyed the quiet serenity of summer.

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

Behold. Our main cast!

Thanks to @rowscara I can now proudly present the three main characters of Tepidus Tempestus!

Let's start off with Chaptermaster Auris.

Previously Ultramarine essentially rose to the position because no one else could be arsed to deal with the paperwork the job entails.

His body makeup is about 70% recaf due to being a irredeemable workaholic. A regular mortal would probably be dead by now. Has gone to great lenghts to skip his medical checkup for ages now in fear he might be deemed temporarely unfit to work and be forced to rest.

Favourite mortal crew-members: Communications Officer Liberta who has his overachiever/workaholic tendencies in common; and Youngling Vellenus, boy born to a family in Engineering who he employs as paperwork-assistant and messenger.

Auris will not be able to evade the medical checkups for too long if the next person has any say in that: Chief Apothecarius Timidus.

Unlike Auris who refuses to take a single break ever, Timidus here really wants a break - but as imperial spacecraft are a tremendous safety- and health-hazard even in peaceful times no matter how well Auris tries to restructure processes and drill the crew, that would mean risking someone dying while he's off duty, which would be inacceptable.

One of the "founding members" of the Chapter in its current iteration he rose to the leading position mostly due to everyone above in the hierachy kicking the bucket. Never had an ambitions or aspirations, just wants to do his job and people not die, which is already an impossible goal given the world they live in.

Favourite mortal crew members: his assistant, Narcosis. Ogryn Nurse strong enough to restrain even the rowdiest Astartes should the need arise; and Castellan Dunst, highest ranking human on the ship, who for legal reason cannot be called Captain. They have a similiar mindset of "leave no man behind" that is certainly not too common in this world.

Argues often with their resident Tech Priest Daimos-5.

One of the more "recent" additions to the Chapter, Daimos-5 origins are somewhat unclear. Doing some background checks revealed some confusing conflict among different Mechanicus circles, and after the death of his mentor it seems like he was on the verge of excommunication for reasons unknown. "Tech Heresy" might sound like a strong accusation until you remember they throw that at literally every and any political opponent in their club.

Due to ideological reasons regarding self-augmentation he hates Servitors with a passion and considers them an inefficient waste of potential. He himself has long passed the 50% mark when it comes to machine parts - and no one knows what exactly is going on under that robe and how he moves. No one has ever seen his left arm either for that matter.

Personal focus of research: warp engines and spacecraft. Considers work on weaponry a [[phrase: barbaric waste of time]] because [[Superior weapon = Useless, if: means to reach target battlefield = insufficient]]

Least hated crew members: Engine-Master Kirrspatt for her technological competence; and Su'us who I cannot explain here for reasons of spoilers in the early chapters.

Again thanks to @rowscara for the artworks, and I look forward to when I can make another post like that for the most popular side characters!

SPOILER WARNING FOR UNDER THE CUT regarding Daimos-5

[hauntsect]

To say he had been waiting for this day in batted breath would be severely lowering the degree of the feverish desire. It wasn't often the world brought forth another savior, another sacrifice, hope cruelly clawed out by the hands of humanity itself, carved into another of the same aspect. AION, second one of its iteration – an apparently stable subject, so far, obedient and successful on his endeavors, so far. He won't count the side effects, not right now. Oh, how he's longed to meet someone quite like this! Self-preservation always moved humans, both to fleeting salvation as to their downfall... And Hyles was ecstatic to see the lengths at which they'd go for it.

A man contains those hopes and dreams, overcoming procedure after grueling procedure, all for the sake of others – even people he might never get to meet. Lovely, wasn't it? What Hyles himself lacked, this vessel had as basis. Out of obligation, maybe, tailor-made to follow protocol, yet... still so very intriguing. As expected, Hyles wants to touch, he wants to see, to experience himself... So, the meeting that was to come so long after this day is moved to precisely this moment in time.

Patience thwarted by excitement.

The Monarch prepares the perfect, most sterile room available. It's a big one, so clean it's almost blinding, but dim enough to feel detached – inhumane. Perfect. It's both harmony and the opposite, bundled together among cameras, walls, utensils, machinery, and the metal chair were the object of interest was to be thoroughly observed. Robed in whites that helped make his shape and that usually constant smile, containing his excitement behind an expression of fake normalcy, Monarch enters the room calmly, the sound of his steps lowered by his bare skin as they tap on the floor before he sits and stares at his little subject. Brilliant, much more beautiful than he had expected, his fingers tingle in the desire to test him out. He intertwines pale fingers so as to keep himself from jumping right at the other.

"Oh, there's no need to worry about me. I'll be alright, I promise." His voice is gently unsettling, as usual, though his attempt was to deliver a small sense of normalcy, gentleness. Yes, maybe this outcome could be fruitful, the fact that the other did not know exactly who he was meeting as of this moment... Leaving his presence vague, his smile widens, internally struggling to succumb to his desires prematurely. He keeps it in, excitement thwarted by patience, this time around. A deep breath comes. "I'm told there's a lot to learn about you, but I'd like to start with the basics. I'm Hyles, mind telling me your name? Oh, and are you excited to be here? You can be honest, I won't tell."

━@hauntsect

Ridden by pestilence, the gods decreed immolation as a passage to deliverance.Thus men tore children from their mothers’ safety and carved salvation across their spines. He ponders if all saviors clawed their small hands along their mothers’ skirts as the vultures congregated on their doorstep, if all gathered their last strands of hope and plead with the same rigor (I will be good, I will be quiet), if the premise of a better tomorrow was enough salve for the talons flaying the flesh off their carrion. If at some point amidst pandemonium fear withered to grief, rot into resignation. If all martyrs reached peace concluding, tragedy is cyclical. Sacrifice is the root and zenith of our condition as humans.

All dead to the world.

Jaeyeon stopped fighting a long time ago. By the eighth iteration of Moloch, he merely parts his lips for communion and offers himself as oblation. When they call him past midnight to reschedule a revision five weeks before its agreed date upon the request of someone named Monarch, he does not question any reasoning behind it. He merely empties his fridge and strips his bed bare. The events unfold within disjointed frames of a fading film. Cut. Constellations of streetlights peer through the windshield as the only source of light, he may not remember the highway but he memorizes the push and pull of his frame upon every sharp turn, he reminisces how the swaying motion would often croon him to slumber, until he fades to nothing. Cut. They pace across an empty corridor veiled in a pale light, the disconnection of his mind enough to salve his sanity and yet he still retches over the ghastly familiarity, over the muted clamor growing jarring beyond the gates. Cut. They robe him in white and perch him on a metal chair, a clinical clockwork murder of anatomy. 

When he drifts back to consciousness he finds himself in the middle of a room sterilized by a white coating aside from a camera on every corner and a tinted window connecting him to a control room. After two decades, anguish has grown routinary enough to breed a factual indifference towards the procedure. After a minute of white noise, he never hears the static voice stating the revision’s information through the intercom: the project ́s name, the date, the subject’s basic information, the revision number, and the scientist in charge.He lifts his head to gaze at the tinted window stretching across the wall. Instead of the six grey men usually standing in the room next to his, he only finds two operators. The first presage dawns upon him in the form of a lithe figure waltzing into the room. When asked about the incident years from then, Jaeyeon would confess he does not remember more than a gleam engulfing every inch of the chamber. The unsettling quietude reigning over both of them as the man takes a seat on the chair across from him. He would confess he doesn't remember his face beyond a few loose silver strands framing his features, a set of light colored eyes and a smile which doesn't quite reach them offering a false sense of safety. He would confess an uncanny sense of quietude preceding a suffocating consternation. 

“Protocol´s against staff and subjects being in the same room, you´ll get in trouble, go back.”

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

March 2021 Part 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. 

This is a LONG ONE, it’s been A WEEK everyone. 

Ongoing Series - Thai

Lovely Writer Ep 5 - a little slow this week, but at least Gene finally flirted back, and very cute flirting it was, too. Also we got Aey’s motivation, background, and love interest. Thank goodness for that. 

Brothers Ep 8 - still pants, what can I say? Clearly I am a BL masochist. Very embarrassing for everyone concerned. 

1000 Stars Ep 9 - the conflict over Tian’s father was REALLY well done. The plot of this drama is excellent, the leads are great together, and yes I totally cried. What, you didn’t? 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Word of Honor (China) Ep 16-18 - big battle fighty fighty stabby stabby. Ep 17 switches to “this drama isn’t big enough for two chaotic-neutral godlings!” So what do they do? Drink together and bicker... A LOT. Then in Ep 18 we all get the dubious joy of really freaky puppets. (I HATE puppets.) Also how is China letting this be so SO VERY VERY GAY?  Also, I wanna walk through the forest wearing a smanshy purple robe and waving a big fuck-off white fan around simply because I’m a pretentious fuss monger. And frankly, I feel like this is an achievable life goal for me. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 4 - not gonna lie, this is looking to be one of my top 3 BLs of 2021. It’s SO GOOD. Big bonus to this ep for treating stalker behavior like the mental illness it is and not as some dumb representation of enduring love. 

The Most Peaceful Place is My Place (Vietnam) Ep 1 - finally dropped (find it under NƠI BÌNH YÊN NHẤT LÀ VỀ BÊN EM on O2′s channel). It’s got actors already comfortable with BL and looks pretty good so far. An angry tsundere uke reunited with his ex, a stoic chef, giving us lots of snap, crackle, and pop out the gate. 

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 2 - I want to love it, but it is just moving too fast. There’s not enough character dev and then they’re throwing flashbacks in? It feels like a treatment rather than a show, and a rushed treatment at that. Bummer. 

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 2 (AKA Ep 3-4) - let the cheesy popcorn continue! Idiot remains an idiot; ingenue remains an ice queen; nice gay guy remains nice and gay; obsessive stalker brother is getting ever more whackadoddle. Of course these last two have the best chemistry. (It’s caregiver codependency and the salvation trope. We got us a Leo/Fiat situation going on.​) Plus lots of classic BL tropes because OF COURSE there are lots of tropes. 

Occasionally, I am tempted to argue that shows like H4 or Cherry Magic or Ossan’s Love aren’t technically BL because of the office setting and age of the protags - but then they all behave like high school students anyway, so *shrug* 

Stand Alones

Cute little Taiwanese micro BL Friend or Lover dropped, about bisexual realization within a friendship group. Normally these are too short for me, but this one did pretty good with its 15 minutes of charm, plus it’s abad boy + shy softy pairing. 

Breaking News - Thai BL

Fish Upon the Sky released its actual trailer. The upside-down kiss is gone, which makes everyone sad, and it seems far less rivals to lovers than the first iteration, which makes ME sad. But it still looks good and a more classic BL than GMMTV has given us in a while. New trailer focused more on the makeover trope and they’ve upped Mix’s role (the object of everyone’s affection) now that he’s proved himself. (Or they are using him more to carry the trailer since he has a fan base form 1k*). Starts April 9 on GMMTV in 1K*’s time slot, probably with a 10 ep run. 

2gether the movie is apparently coming April 22 to Thai theaters. F4 Thailand must be having issues or GMMTV just wants to milk the BrightWin cash cow. It’s rumored to be a combination of 2gehter + Still 2gether with some extra scenes and ending. Also, one assumes a lot will be cut out, if it’s movie length.

Call It What You Want released its updated trailer. If anything, it looks more scary than before. What are we in for? April 9th. 

Nitiman got a release date, May 7 on One31. 

I Told Sunset About You 2 got an updated release date of May 27 on LineTV. 

Second Chance the series is coming to LineTV on March 29. I don’t know much about this one. Tons of familiar faces (mostly TharnType side dishes) and some nice looking new talent but a dearth of eng subs. I think it may take on Brothers’ time slot. Line did eng subs for Brothers so maybe they will do 2nd Chance too? 

Close Friend the series is coming April 22. This is a combination of 6 couples with 6 story arcs as music videos (maybe)? It’s an epic fan service with familiar faces like OhmFluke (UWMA), MaxNat (LBC also in Y-Destiny), YoonLay (YYY also in Y-Destiny), KimCop (GenY), and JaFirst (TT2).

Y-Destiny starts March 30, and has starting dropping couple’s trailers. I’m still suspicious given the director but it seems like there is plot (or plots) and a theme. Looks to be a series of 7 single ep vignettes (amended, see comments, might be 2 eps each for 14 eps total), different couple each time, some with supernatural elements, all with decent chemistry and acting chops. 

Sun MaxNat’s tutor/student arc

Mon jaded rich kid meets poor innocent  

Tues sports romance enemies to lovers 

Weds the messy realistic actual dating one 

Thurs hot ghost boyfriend (sad) 

Fri YoonLayPerth coping with loss and finding new love (sad). This one will all rest on Lay's acting so we know it’s in safe hands. Our boy is going to KILL it. 

Sat time-slip memory loss reunion romance 

I’m thinking we can’t expect any of these to end happy or be classic BL. They’re gonna be more slice of life-ish. 

Gossip - BL Outside of Thailand 

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) got a legit teaser (eng sub here). @curriculumvtae​ reports that it’s releasing April 15th on WeTV (Philippines & Thailand) and Idol Romance (South Korea), while Will of Thai Bl says it’ll be on Viki too. It’s a short run of 8 ep built on a fake relationship trope (arranged marriage variant):

Ryu Ho Seon’s (Kang In Soo from You Wish) arranged marriage turns out to be with his expected bride’s brother, Choi Ki Wan (Lee Se Jin from Mr Heart). Ryu tries to undo the marriage, but his ill mother opposes this saying the scandal would be too much. Meanwhile, Kim Tae Hyeong (Jang Eui Soo from Where Your Eyes Linger), a senior at Ryu’s school, comes to congratulate him and falls in love with Choi. Then one day, the original bride disappears.

Okay it seems a bit twisty turny for ONLY 8 EPS, but oh my goodness how excited are we? Our first intentional historical BL out of Korea!

We already knew Hong Kong was doing a remake of Japan’s Ossan’s Love under the same name (not my favorite Japanese BL but so very popular) but it’s now reported to be coming to Viu in June. Who knows how the CFA will take it. Depends on whether Hong Kong bows before the NO GAY KISSES regs or if they are going to use this as a political nose thumb... things could get cray with this puppy (the original has several kisses and s shower scene). Are we back in Addicted territory only with added comedy and civil unrest?

Speaking of Japan, Absolute BL (AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko) dropped sooner than anyone thought, March 27. But being Japanese who knows how/when/if we get subs. Protag finds himself trapped in a world of BL, but being straight he fights against any hot guy that draws near, but the whole world (literally) is conspiring against him. It’s a parody adapted from a yoai.

What with Absolute BL from Japan plus Lovely Writer and Call it What You Want from Thailand, is 2021 the year of BL being ultra self referential? Sure feels like it.

In Case You Missed It

Faded a gay micro film from Taiwan from 2017 deals with parental acceptance and serves up a ton of BL tropes (piggyback, forehead kiss, etc). I’m pretty sure this was a propaganda piece for legalization of gay marriage, and it’s an interesting nugget of BL history as a result. Yes, it ends happy. It’s cute. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

Man there’s a lot going on right now! Spring has sprung... I suppose. 

P.S. I cannot believe I missed Absolute BL as a blog name. Numbnuts = me. 

[heliinx]

She is not the first creature of some status to seek his power in desperation, and will not be the last. It is not arrogance that amuses Azriel; he does not find his entertainment in the idea of something “lesser” begging for his aid — no, it is a zealot plying a beast she does not understand for short-sighted gain. Everyone thinks they are different, he muses. Everyone thinks they are above or removed from the base desires of a cult who believes they know what their patron desires as exchange.

He is different, somehow, when he appears again to the Grey Seer. She has seen this iteration before: the form of a tall, well-built man, with four wings of steely black and red which become the armored robes of a battlemage as he alights from transitory shadow; what must be a handsome (by human standards, at least) face half-obscured by a mask-crown resembling his other face and which complements the more fixed crown of antler-horns which splay about his temples in demonic mockery of virtuous laurels.

This form feels somehow tenuous, flickering though it is perfectly steady to her eyes, as if it is some stretched-thin glamour about to rip and unleash something hellish. Azriel’s power is gathered, and he commands, by his mere presence, every shadow in the room.

“Soul-handling is no simple task, Lady Heliinx. Surely you know. I will not insult your mastery of the arcane.”

There is a flicker of poison green between his gloved fingers — the bit of warpstone she’d given him previously.

“But you ask me to do this to a child of one god, marked by another. You ask me to draw the eye of gods already restless and warlike, in a world not my own — to yourself, as well as me.”

Azriel’s eyes are not on her, but his gaze is almost physical. He is not what he was last they met. The shadows seem to press in.

“What is it worth?”

A million lives. Hoards of Warpstone. Riches beyond imaginign (ratfolk had no use for man-thing gold...). Heliinx does not care, she wants the stain of Kharneth removed from her. Azriel's concerns do not inspire any empathy or sympathy or understanding. Oh, she understands. Understands that his own best-interests are obstacles to hers.

Heliinx's nose twitches. His whiskers flex. She thinks up a good answer to his question.

" Creature is arrogant. Gods attention fickle. Will not care-care about the endeavors of a rat." It was only partially true. There were myriad tales of the gods smiting men for less...but that's because men were stupid and obvious. Blaspheming before the very eyes of their lord. Heliinx wouldn't be so foolish.

"But if you are scared-afraid. If I must-must grease your paws..."

" ... Have travelled the world by now-now, yes-no? Wing-thing has seen something by now he wants, but cannot get for some reason. Maybe Heliinx help? Exchange valuable for services?"

[xoruffitup]

Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work. 

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.  

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)

[chalkrevelations]

Word of Honor Ep 5, and this is a lot of politicking. (Although not as much as there will be.)

Due diligence, first: If you are NEW or JUST VISITING, this is a re-watch, so there are SPOILERS not just for this ep, but for the entire show. Scroll away and come back later if you haven’t seen all 36.5 eps and want to watch unspoiled.

Before we get to the politicking, let’s talk about what we’re really here for: Date Night For Our Pair Of Merciless Killers. I’m going float a theory about this episode. I’ve talked in previous rounds of this re-watch about how Wen Kexing’s thirst takes on a different dimension when we know his backstory and how he’s trying to get info about Siji Manor and confirm Zhou Zishu’s identity, as well as reacting to him as his one-time shixiong. I’m going to suggest that a lot of the sexual harassment in this particular episode – at least in the back half of it – is about diverting ZZS while he’s trying to figure out an op that WKX’s actual Ghosts were involved in. I think WKX is laying it on so thick here – constant come-ons and physical crowding and repeated attempts to touch ZZS that we repeatedly see ZZS step away from or actually push away - because he’s deliberately trying to make ZZS uncomfortable in order to distract him. More on this in a bit.

Re: the politicking. Straight-up, I’ll admit that I didn’t follow this aspect as close as I maybe ought to have on the first go ‘round because I was distracted by WKX’s thirst, just like ZZS is supposed to be (so, another point to you, show). I’m going to take this in basically chronological order to try to make sense of it: We open on Shenshen fighting Hao Tong and Lv Liu (ugh) to protect Ao Laizi, leader of Tai Shan sect, a lesser sect; the last two living Danyang Sect shidi; and the Danyang Glazed Armor. Shenshen chases Insufferable Grandma and Grandpa away but is kind of an asshole about wanting the Danyang Glazed Armor. He does a credible job of trying to maneuver them all into coming back to the Five Lakes Alliance at Zhao Jing’s place after Zhao Jing shows up with one of the Tai Shan disciples who ran to Sanbai Manor for help. Ao Laizi was not born yesterday and appears to outmaneuver him, although if you pay attention, Zhao Jing actually allows them to slip the snare. I have my suspicions that Zhao Jing wants the Danyang Glazed Armor to stay in the wind, where he’s less likely to be blamed once Ao Laizi gets knifed in the back and gets his newly acquired Glazed Armor took, which I’m assuming – knowing what I know about Awful Yifu from my previous watch – is the plan. This will end up being a big mistake for everyone involved. WKX then gets himself and ZZS invited to dinner at Sanbai Manor, where they get to sit at the head table with Chengling, Zhao Jing, Shenshen, and a dude representing Yueyang Sect, who is apparently Gao Chong’s favorite disciple, despite not being his head disciple, so you lose again, Deng Kuan, sorry. There’s a lot of ostentatious poetry quoting and bullshit toasting of each other at the head table, interrupting ZZS’s actual work of drinking. WKX attempts to feed ZZS by putting a prawn on his plate, which goes over about as well as you’d expect at this stage of their relationship, and which I now have to compare to the New Year’s dinner we’ll see in a later ep, at Siji Manor, which shows just how far their relationship comes. EVERYTHING about how awkward and uncomfortable this banquet is stands in stark contrast to that New Year’s dinner.

Cut to Mu Yunge – oh, this is the guy who was sitting in the back row of the cast during the WoH concert, when I couldn’t figure out who he was or why he was there instead of say, Wang Rong (Han Ying, my beloved …). We saw him earlier with the Five Lakes Alliance contingent that shows up to look vaguely horrified and tearful post-massacre at Mirror Lake. Now, he’s staggering along a deserted street after nightfall, running from Ghost Valley, who appear to be the legit deal this time, in the form of the Department of the Unfaithful. He runs into Ao Laizi and his charges (don’t they have a home to go to?), begging for help, before he gets yoinked away by a red banner that acts an awful lot like a tentacle. Ao Laizi goes running after him. BIG MISTAKE.

Back at the banquet, Shenshen appears to be disgracefully drunk (can none of these Five Lakes Alliance assholes hold their liquor? Damn.) and is busy berating Chengling about learning to drink like a man. There are a lot more weird sympathetic looks from WKX here, along with ZZS. Zhao Jing sends both Shenshen and Chengling to bed like 5-year-olds, and WKX takes advantage of his shameless persona to ask pointedly about the strapping young fellow who escorted ShenShen to bed (aka Song Huairen, Gao Chong’s favorite disciple from Yueyang Sect). There is literally no reason for WKX to need to know this, but it will help us, as the audience, to know it later. Cut to Song Huairen putting Shenshen to bed and leaving, and then we find out, surprise! Shenshen is not drunk! Is not sleeping! Is apparently going to get up and go skulk around secretly …. somewhere. Who knows? We don’t see him again until he has a chance to berate Zhao Jing, which is always a good time, even if Shenshen is insufferable. Pick your fighter, I guess. Back at the banquet again, we and WKX meet … oh. It’s This Guy, Yu Qiufeng, leader of Mount Hua Sect – remember this asshole, he’ll show up again, in various iterations – and his son, Tianjie. ZZS, meanwhile, wanders off, also acting disgracefully drunk, pretending to throw up in the bushes so the maids will leave him alone and he can drink in peace. I’m not sure why we act like WKX is the only shameless one in this marriage. Also, this is … actually not the last time he’ll resemble Shenshen in this episode, now that I think about it. Anyway, ZZS spots Yu Tianjie sneaking away suspiciously and follows him to some part of Sanbai where Tianjie sneaks in then chases out someone in dark robes with his face covered who looks suspiciously like Song Huairen, Gao Chong’s favorite disciple. The banquet gets interrupted by someone who sounds like Happy Ghost berating the Five Lakes Alliance, a maid comes screaming up the stairs, and we all rush out to discover Ao Laizi and two of his disciples, dead, hanging outside the front gate. This really is the worst party ever. Significantly, WKX takes a minute to look around the banquet hall, as if to see if anyone is eying him suspiciously. He does NOT follow everyone to the front gate, but instead ends up outside Chengling’s room when Chengling yells for his shifu because someone’s trying to get him. When they all run to Chengling’s room, WKX is faffing about outside, leisurely fanning himself and saying that surely that wasn’t Ghost Valley, because they were SUCH mediocre fighters and ran away the minute he started fighting. I JUST BET THEY DID.

OK, so, here’s the thing. Back in Ep 4, A-Xiang told Lovelace to take a message back from WKX to tell everyone to assemble at Sanbai Manor. I’m thinking that this time, this is actual Ghost Valley, that they grabbed Mu Yunge essentially as bait to get Ao Laizi, and then killed Ao Laizi and took the Danyang Glazed Armor, so that Ghost Valley is actually IN POSSESSION of a piece of the Glazed Armor, finally. They also, in the process, stole it out from under Zhao Jing’s nose, taking away his chance to have (probably) Xie’er go after Ao Laizi and get it. Ghost Valley then hung Ao Laizi at the gate and presumably menaced Chengling, either as a distraction or to make WKX look good or both.

So, we get Chengling back in bed and see ZZS tell him to go to sleep and not to cry because men don’t cry – thanks, Shenshen. I’ll be sure to remember that when you figuratively stab me in the HEART with your sad little face and crystalline tears later in the show. ZZS has a flashback to telling baby Qin Jiuxiao at Siji Manor basically the same thing, and I’m wondering if this is following Qin Huaizhang’s death? I don’t know, I don’t think we get enough info. ZZS then sneaks onto the roof to listen to Shenshen berate Zhao Jing, who supposedly discovered he had his own piece of Glazed Armor stolen during this ruckus. NOW, LISTEN. Was the dark-robed figure chased by Yu Tianjie actually Xie’er, “stealing” Zhao Jing’s Glazed Armor? Because we know, later, Xie’er wears the Tai Hu Glazed Armor as a necklace. It seems like a lot of trouble to go through, to make him actually “steal” it, when you could just give it to him and act like it was stolen, but Zhao Jing also didn’t know (I think?) that ACTUAL Ghost Valley was going to show up and create a convenient ruckus and an obvious scapegoat to pin the theft on. This is also where I’m unsure about which particular faction scared the shit out of Chengling. I’m assuming it’s actual Ghost Valley, who were “conveniently” driven off by WKX, because also in Ep 4, the Scorpions were told to assemble at Yueyang, not Sanbai Manor, and will make their kidnap attempt there in a later episode.

Anyway, we’re finally back to Date Night For the Merciless Killers, and ZZS chases WKX through the treetops, set to a romantic tune, until they arrive at what will turn out to be a crime scene, where WKX stops ZZS from walking into some Hanged Ghost-style Soul Winding Threads. ZZS remarks this must be the “real” Hanged Ghost, unlike the one at Mirror Lake, because A-Xiang wouldn’t have been able to kill the REAL Hanged Ghost. (SO CLOSE, my friend, but we know that the real Hanged Ghost got got in Ep 1. Although whoever was at Mirror Lake did have access to Soul Winding Threads, as Shenshen and his group discovered them.) At this point, WKX wants to know if ZZS is afraid of ghosts because he’s a VIRGIN, hahaha? He also starts getting up on ZZS, who walks away to continue his investigation of the tree with the Soul Winding Threads. Blood drips from a corpse in the tree down onto ZZS’s sleeve, and ZZS comments that blood “disgusts” him; I think there may be some significance to this word choice, as it correlates to his past breakdown over his work in Tian Chuang and his reaction to the deaths of the Four Sages of Anji - this is the metaphorical blood on people’s hands, including his own, literalized. Anyway, at this point, WKX cuts ZZS’s sleeve. I mean. :hands: He also tries to joke and bet about the identity of the corpse in the tree, who turns out to be Yu Tianjie. ZZS once again will not be diverted and keeps investigating this crime scene like the most devoted Fantasy Ancient China CSI ever. WKX rushes after him, saying that HE’s afraid of ghosts (implying that HE’s a virgin?) and getting right up on ZZS, enough so that ZZS physically pushes him away, as they reach a second body on the ground. Dark-robed, masked, turns out to be Song Huairen, Gao Chong’s (former) favorite disciple, who ZZS theorizes is the traitor who was after the Tai Hu Glazed Armor. There’s a repeated pattern here of WKX really pushing the sexual harassment and other diversionary tactics every time ZZS is working to figure out a piece of this puzzle, which might take him too close to WKX, up until the point when ZZS advances a theory that points away from WKX. ZZS is clearly working his way toward WKX, though, even with some of the wrong turns he’s making. The last thing we do in this ep is move on to the Zhao Coffin Home, where they encounter the Drunk Like a Dream incense and the Drug Men. On entering the place, ZZS pulls WKX back from more Soul Winding Threads, but he then pulls away when WKX tries to put a hand on his shoulder. WKX asks ZZS who he is, again, and it sounds like this time he’s asking more than what the face under the mask looks like. ZZS responds by asking WKX who HE is, and the way he says it – this is where I really begin to think he’s getting suspicious. You can see the wheels turning.

Final observation:

We get two SUPER SIGNIFICANT things at the end of this ep: There’s what I think is the first use of “Lao Wen,” shouted by ZZS in warning when WKX is wandering around high and the Drug Men show up. And WKX calls ZZS “Zhou Zishu” – not Zhou Xu – when he complains about being made to drink the Drunk Like A Dream antidote. ZZS notices.

[curiosity-killed]

unspectacular things

Word count: 1509 on ao3

“Gege, why did you become the Guoshi of Yong An?” He’s been banished to lean against a tree while Xie Lian washes out his spare robes — a singular set, just as plain and worn as the ones he’s currently wearing. Hua Cheng itches with the urge to tell him to set it aside; he could summon up chests full of fine silk robes, soft as a breeze with none of the ground-in stains of these, or he could at least call up a ghost to clean the robes for His Highness. It would be easy as a flick of his fingers. But — but he’s trying not to push too much. And Xie Lian has seemed oddly content with the work, tying his sleeves back and humming absentminded tunes as he scrubs. “It really was an accident,” Xie Lian says with a little laugh, self-conscious. Hua Cheng waits, toying with the end of his braid. He’s not sure when he learned patience; it certainly wasn’t a skill of his when he was alive. For His Highness, though, he could wait millennia and not grow restless.

“After my first banishment,” Xie Lian says after a moment, wringing the fabric between his hands, “I — I did some awful things. I wasn’t a very good person. But there was someone — a nameless ghost — who stayed by me all that time.”

The coral bead bites into the pads of Hua Cheng’s fingers as he freezes, pressing down too hard in surprise. It takes a moment for his voice to work. When it does, it comes out distant, as if spoken by someone else entirely. “Your Highness remembers someone so insignificant?” he asks. A small furrow appears in Xie Lian’s brow, one hand reaching up to brush against the string of his bamboo hat before falling back to the robes. “He believed in me when I least deserved it,” he says simply. “I treated him poorly, and he still sacrificed himself to save me from my own mistake. That’s not insignificant.” It’s not like Hua Cheng has forgotten this. For most of the last eight hundred years, he had managed to protect his prince only twice. It wasn’t enough in either case, but he still remembers the brutal seed of satisfaction he felt as the spirits tore him apart, knowing that His Highness had returned to himself, would fight against that filthy demon instead of following its insidious lead. He’d died with a grin, that time. But he’d never expect Xie Lian to remember it, to remember any version of him. He doesn’t squirm, but he shifts uneasily against the bark, unsure of what to make of this discovery. Xie Lian’s lips thin. He draws in a breath before shaking his head slightly.

“He helped remind me of what mattered, how I wanted to help the common people. I guess…I thought that maybe if I tried to help people, I could become more like someone who deserved his faith,” he says. “As Guoshi, I could see how Yong An treated the remnants of Xianle, but I could also…do better. Or at least try.” Discomfort tremors up Hua Cheng’s bones, like he’s woken to the world tilted half a rotation to the left. It’s one thing if His Highness remembers some iteration of him, but it’s unthinkable that he should feel any sort of debt or unworthiness. The notion has his head spinning. “It would be any ghost’s honor to die for Your Highness,” he says. The look Xie Lian slides him is somewhere between a frown and a smile, like he’s trying to piece Hua Cheng together but enjoying the puzzle. He doesn’t know what to make of that, either. “I don’t want anyone to die for me,” Xie Lian says as he draws the robes up from the water. “My dream was always to protect the common people, not the other way around.” Pursing his lips, Hua Cheng lets his gaze fall away from Xie Lian’s face to rest on his hands. Sunlight limns each square knuckle, paints gold along the callouses from swordplay and hard work. He’s never understood Xie Lian’s belief in the common people. Humanity is ugly and vicious, monstrous even when it grins. He is proof of that. So much of Xie Lian’s own suffering is proof — and yet still, still, he stands there in his faded white robes and extends his hand over and over again to the undeserving masses. Humanity’s failings reveal his own divinity, and still, Xie Lian puts his faith in them. “Besides,” Xie Lian says, “he had more to live for than dying for my mistakes. He had a beloved still in the world somewhere.” Yes, Hua Cheng thinks, staring a little, and he was an idiot to think he knew what it meant to love. What did he know of it back then? Devotion, worship — the willingness to die a thousand deaths if it was in Xie Lian’s name. Wu Ming was useless and foolish, still just a child playing at maturity. “I should have helped him find them, instead,” Xie Lian says, as if to himself. “He did.”

Xie Lian startles, twisting from where he’s spreading his robe out to dry on some rocks, and Hua Cheng curses himself for his own runaway words. “It’s been so many centuries, gege,” he says, stretching his arms behind his head as casually as he can. “Surely he found them either in death or in their next life.” Surprise flickers across Xie Lian’s expression before he dips his head. A smile curls his lips, soft and warm and cracking Hua Cheng’s unbeating heart down the center. He looks up with a brighter smile, a teasing edge to the way he narrows his eyes. “San Lang ah, such a romantic,” he teases. “Who would have thought Crimson Rain Sought Flowers was so sweet?” Hua Cheng scoffs, looking away, but he can feel the smile tugging at his lips even as he does. The grass rustles as Xie Lian stands, and Hua Cheng looks up as he folds himself down to sit in a patch of sunlight nearer to him. Xie Lian smiles up at the dappled light with his eyes closed, and Hua Cheng thinks, in that instant, that he would die every day to see a single moment of such contentment in Xie Lian’s face. Even now, centuries removed from the throne, he sits with the graceful posture of a prince. His hands lay one over the other just shy of his knees, his sleeves still pulled back to reveal that silk band wound around one wrist and the other bared up to the elbow. “Ah but San Lang, you still haven’t told your beloved either,” he says, blinking his eyes open to look at Hua Cheng. The sun catches in the darks of his eyes and warms them to firelit copper. Hua Cheng exhales a soft laugh and tilts his face toward the canopy. “For me, gege, I only want for them to be safe and happy,” he says. “If I can protect them somehow, that is enough.” At his side, Xie Lian makes a small humming noise like he’s thinking. Quiet settles between them, warm like the sun. From the corner of his eye, Hua Cheng can see Xie Lian breathing in the cool breeze, his hair catching on the wind and lifting in strands from his shoulders. “Your beloved is very lucky,” Xie Lian says after a while, quietly. “When you tell them, I am certain they will be the happiest person in the world.” For a moment, he almost tells him. He almost turns to Xie Lian and says no you’re not. You’re the unluckiest person I’ve ever met. But Xie Lian is too kind. He would smile softly and apologize for not reciprocating Hua Cheng’s feelings, as if it is by some failing of his own that so unworthy a creature loves him, and he would take that hurt upon himself. Memory is a long step from love. So Hua Cheng rolls his head back toward Xie Lian and grins, easy and teasing. “Now who is the romantic, gege mm?” Startling, Xie Lian laughs like the high, clear ring of a bell. Hua Cheng allows himself a brief sense of smug satisfaction at having drawn out such a joyful noise. “Ah, San Lang,” Xie Lian laughs, breaking his own posture to lean back on his palms like he’s a carefree boy, “forgive this old man his sentimentality.” His voice is cheerful and not terribly repentant, and Hua Cheng grins as he leans back against the tree, dropping one hand to his lap. They’re close enough that he can shift his leg over to nudge Xie Lian with one knee. It still sends a little thrill through him to be permitted such gestures, doubly so when Xie Lian’s eyes crinkle up with a smile at the touch. Exhaling, Hua Cheng tilts his gaze back up toward the canopy and lets his leg stay barely pressed against Xie Lian’s. It’s more than enough.

[puttingfingerstokeys]

what the thunder said

There’s a first time for everything and even for a god, certain firsts can be... difficult to process. Raiden works through potentially relatable misgivings and The Sorcerer(tm) is surprisingly helpful. Takes place just after the first tournament’s conclusion. Ft. warring exes. As usual it’s barely edited. I’m just cramming ideas out there

restored timeline

The sun rose, red and angry, over what might have been the eastern sky. The island was a strange nexus of realms, however, so it was anyone’s guess, truly, what direction the sorcerer’s bedchambers were facing. The man in question sat up, extracting himself gently from the still-occupied bed, sliding his bare feet into ornate slippers and wrapping a dressing gown—silk with damascened patterns of golden dragons ablaze—carelessly about shapely shoulders. In the distance, rumblings of thunder were making themselves known in subtle growls, as if spoken sotto voce. The wind picked up minutely and tossed the hem of his gown and hair around with playful abandon. He spared a glance over his shoulder to the curvaceous form in his bed, covered by a sheet and breathing softly.

  “What wonders do you have for me today, fulminator?” His voice was low, barely above a gentle purr. It was filled with odd softness—this would have been especially strange for anyone who had known him from previous iterations—and fond warmth. Shang Tsung felt his heartbeat pick up its pace as Raiden stirred, curling tighter upon himself, and then stilled once more. The sorcerer had not been certain gods could sleep, but given the activities of the previous night, he supposed there was a first time for everything.

  Drawing away from the open balcony, he retreated to an alcove where breakfast would be served at his command. The bed itself was upon a dais in the center of the room, of course, so no servants would be permitted entry until his celestial lover awoke and dressed to his own level of comfort. Raiden was guarded of his chastity and the appearance thereof, and had been since he and Shang Tsung had first become acquainted.

  Something, the sorcerer was convinced, in his tournament victory, had changed the very air between them. Though he had long sought after the deity—he knew damn well Raiden was a god, or had been at some point; he was merely waiting for his mentor to admit this, as he awaited all the colossal man’s concessions—emotionally and physically, always, he had been gracefully rebuffed.

  Until the previous night.

  Shang Tsung reflected on this most delicate of trysts, remembering with fondness how he had handled it—the situation and his mentor—with the gentle touch of one holding something very fragile which might break apart at any moment. He had understood, intimately, that the thing he held was Raiden’s core, that depthless thing which was supposed to have felt little, he being so far above mortals, but which fluttered like a trapped songbird.

  The sorcerer’s roving eyes followed the curves of the deity’s body under his fine sheets. He knew those curves so well, as well as if he had been mapping them all the years they had known each other with his hands, instead of just his eyes. Oh, but those eyes were practiced and sharp. They had seen every movement of his mentor’s finely-sculpted body, every subtle twitch and shift of muscle—of what might have been muscle. Aside from the relatively external views and activities, he really did not know what made a god tick. He had no intention, of course, of vivisecting the being he loved above all else, either, so some things would just have to remain secret.

  But, OH, the secrets Raiden had given unto him last night! To relive those, even in memories was sweet. It held the dangerous headiness of a fine wine or ambrosia, threatening to overtake his senses, to drown him in the pleasure of the recollection alone. He drank deeply of the sight and only ceased when he heard the “emissary” sigh. He could not immediately detect if it was one of contentment or of consternation—as they so often were—until he heard the distant rumble of the approaching maelstrom. 

  There had been quite a squall the night before, but that had seemed to grow from nowhere, right over the palace, and was fairly localized, all things considered. This one loomed on the horizon, roiling and rumbling, threatening with a menace the sorcerer misliked. “What troubles you, pet?”

  This new moniker, pet, which he had bestowed upon the god of thunder—there was no longer any doubt in his mind what Raiden was—had appeared over the course of a few hours the previous evening. Raiden had not seemed to mind it as Shang Tsung crooned it into his ear, hands wandering, lips pressed close to the warm, electric flesh.

  “I am untroubled,” came the quiet response. Raiden was still curled tightly upon himself, a position Shang Tsung did not like one bit. It spoke of closure, of the barring of ways, of hesitancy and refusal, or negation. He would not be refused in that way—other ways, certainly, without so much as a word, but this… he would have openness in his own bedchamber. Acquired for you by the one you so ardently desire, do not forget, the sorcerer scolded himself. The flare of his minute, potential temper died and his voice softened.

  “I would hear of this lack of trouble,” he insisted. As if punctuating his point, lightning flashed in the far distance and thunder roared to make its intentions known. It was still a long way off, but it was loud. Shang Tsung could almost see the waterspouts forming underneath it—or perhaps one great spout. What power he commands, his lusty mind whispered with predatory passion. I must have him—I must endeavor to keep him. I cannot… exist without him. He stowed this thought too, for the idea that his own existence hinged in any way on another being, divine or not, was abhorrent to his very nature.

  Raiden turned over, facing the sorcerer, sheets drawn almost to his chin. He looked… timid. The sight turned Shang Tsung’s guts to ice, but his face betrayed nothing. Had he harmed the deity in some way, or ignored some silent plea Raiden could not voice due to his own hesitance in the face of such pure, unadulterated desire? Shang Tsung had endeavored to keep himself in check, to remain soft, not hesitant, but certainly making all intentions and purposes clear throughout their time together. His desire to devour Raiden had not abated. Rather, he reminded himself of the old maxim, “pleasure delayed is pleasure doubled”. And so he had delayed—and it had more than doubled.

  Or so he had assumed.

  Now, he doubted himself. The idea that he had in any way upset or even—heaven forbid—frightened Raiden was sickening to him, an aberration of something which should have been the best moments, the softest, warmest, most cherished memories, or at least to number among them. The sorcerer swallowed minutely and moved toward the bed, presently settling himself upon it, robe falling carelessly open, for what did he have to hide? And from whom?

  Thunder rumbled once more, gaining speed and losing distance. It would soon be upon the island. The people living in the village below the palace—all his staff, of course, and acolytes, training to defend the island—were surely pulling in their nets, securing their boats, and barring their windows once more. They were a hardy lot, from many realms, and the sorcerer was grateful for their presence, but even he, with all his wealth and influence, might have a difficult time retaining staff if they were swept away in unseasonably nasty storms. He did not blame Raiden, for the deity himself looked baffled, even unaware, that he was doing this.

  “What troubles you?” Shang Tsung repeated the question, but this time reached out to grasp one of the hands which held the blanket. It was large, but strangely delicate in form. These were not the hands of a bruiser, though Raiden’s strikes were like the thunder he commanded, deafening and numbing. Lightning arced between them and snapped the sorcerer’s fingers, for which those nigh-inscrutable glowing eyes appeared apologetic.

  Rather than speak his worries, Raiden released the sheet with one hand and grasped Shang Tsung’s as the sorcerer grasped him. 

  Shang Tsung pulled at that hand, urging Raiden to sit up, to face him properly. He wanted to speak. Reluctantly, the god of thunder shifted, keeping the sheets close with his free hand, and finally sat up, propping himself against the luxuriant pile of pillows on the sorcerer’s fine bed. He found himself wondering, much against his will, if Shang Tsung had not insisted upon such a large bed for this very purpose. While the master of this strange island was not diminutive by any means, Raiden was, by comparison, uncommonly colossal. He had room, on this bed, to stretch out with space to spare. The idea darkened a corner of his mind and the storm growled.

  Still holding that hand, now in both of his, Shang Tsung moved himself closer as static arced its way from Raiden’s body to his hands and arms. He paid this no mind whatsoever, meeting Raiden’s eyes steadily with his own dark, fathomless ones. Raiden saw in those eyes that ancient greed from timelines long gone, that bottomless emptiness, yearning voraciously to be filled, yet never able. No, he thought, I do not see that at all, but echoes of it. Upon closer inspection, he found that indeed, he had been mistaken. The darkness he saw was only Shang Tsung’s insatiable appetite for… him.

  “Do you recall when I said I would have all of you, dear Raiden?” This was an old title of affection he had coined long ago, perhaps a decade or more. Slowly, Raiden nodded, recalling not only the phrase but the circumstances under which it had been uttered. He swallowed hard, eyes falling from Shang Tsung’s. It was only the sorcerer’s hand under his chin, releasing its grip upon his own hand momentarily which compelled his gaze to return where it had been. The grasp was not harsh, but it was firm and he saw something in Shang Tsung’s face that spoke of chiding discipline, which awoke in Raiden an ire he had forgotten he could possess. But whence is this directed?

  “I do,” said the elemental, straightening and thereby removing his chin from the sorcerer’s grip. Shang Tsung regarded him with voracious fondness. It was not a predatory look, not quite, but it could easily have become that. The hunger was always lurking. To that end, rather than returning his hand to the one he still held, he reached out and sought gently to prize the grip of the sheet from Raiden’s other hand. It was like moving a statue and force would not do. Nor, he thought, would frustration. In all things, the soul sorcerer reminded himself, patience. I have been the student—now I am the teacher to an ageless being.

  “I did not simply mean your body, fine a gift as it is to have been bestowed upon me, and grateful as I am for that… for you.” He did not continue to attempt the physical compulsion of the hand which so rigidly attempted to guard the rags of the deity’s chastity. Rather, he reached out and slid his hand dexterously around the back of Raiden’s neck, pulling him forward and pressing their foreheads together. “I want your mind, fulminator—I want your heart, o’ commander of lightning and the storm… I want every bit of you that you are willing to give. I want it all.”

  “I know,” admitted Raiden quietly, eyes closing. He knew all too well what Shang Tsung wanted, what he wanted, for that matter. Coming to terms with that desire had been an enormous obstacle for Raiden who, had he been in a less distracted state of mind, might have wondered after the grandiose forms of address Shang Tsung had just heaped upon him. But he was not. He was still facing up to his own trepidations and fears regarding such desire and affection and what it meant for him and for the sorcerer. The process was not a rapid one by any means.

  “Do you truly know?” Shang Tsung’s voice was low, almost inquisitive. Their lips were inches apart, but still he spoke, initiating nothing more than close conversation. “Or are you still learning, my dear, exquisite one?” These words were spoken with not so much as a hint of malice. Shang Tsung was hoping to prompt a response with it, one of open honesty. This, among many other things, was something he deeply desired from his friend and mentor.

  Raiden’s shoulders sagged helplessly and he pulled away, sighing through his nose; he did not drop the sheet and the storm in the distance, while suddenly holding its position, had begun to rumble and flash more fiercely than ever. He looked over Shang Tsung’s shoulder and, noting it for the first time, colored gently, a golden sheen staining his cheeks in the place of the red of mortal blood. Shang Tsung’s hand moved from the nape of Raiden’s neck and that fine, silken white hair, to the side of his face, thumb oscillating back and forth in a soft rhythm and gesture of fond placation.

  “Yes,” Raiden finally said, speaking barely above a whisper. “I am… still learning.” We must all learn, our whole lives, even if those lives last eons upon eons. We must always learn.

  “And what would you have me teach you?” Once more, the sorcerer’s words were free of any sort of mockery or teasing or jest. He was, in a word, sincere. Catching Raiden’s gaze, he held it and held him. There was such tenderness in that touch, such devotion upon his face, that Raiden felt suddenly very foolish for his hesitance. Shang Tsung’s other hand soon joined the one upon Raiden’s face and he held him there, softly, appreciating the strange glow of those eyes. 

  A vision of the blue-white becoming a sickly, enraged red entered the sorcerer’s mind and he flinched imperceptibly, attributing the picture to the ferocity of the approaching storm and the potential of his celestial lover. The image portrayed a being of unthinking fury, of total and complete chaos, without restraint or the desire for it and it scared the sorcerer.

  It also thrilled him.

  Raiden saw this, too. He saw much, and always had. It is not something you should covet, sorcerer, he chided mentally. Rather than speaking the words, however, he closed his eyes and shook his head, hands rising to cover Shang Tsung’s on either side of his face. The admission of his ignorance was so quiet, it might have been the whisper of rain upon distant rooftops. “I do not know.”

  Before Shang Tsung could respond, Raiden’s fingers tightened around his and pushed them away. He, bare to the waist—past that only covered by a sheet—leaned away and then turned, seemingly intent upon standing. He sought his white robe, that soft, diaphanous thing, embroidered with gold, trimmed in blue, and of the finest material he had ever felt. Fist closing upon it, Raiden lifted the garment and draped it about his broad shoulders, which tightened at the feeling of the sorcerer’s eyes upon him. Shang Tsung reached out then and laid his fingers upon the mark of Raiden’s divinity which glowed a soft blue beyond the sheer fabric of the robe. Raiden stiffened.

  “Please,” he whispered, “allow me… time. That is all I ask.”

  “Time you shall have, pet,” promised the sorcerer, “but call off your typhoon, I beg; the village will not fare well if it grows any larger.”

  Raiden stood then, back to Shang Tsung, as if suddenly aware of his own exposure. The glowing marks all over his body were dim in the light of the red morning sun, but they were becoming slowly brighter as the darkness of the oncoming storm approached and covered the celestial body—well, one of them. The sorcerer only had eyes for the celestial body in his bedroom, and what its closed posture meant. He was torn between insisting upon a discussion, knowing Raiden’s strange mood had something (perhaps everything) to do with the previous evening and allowing his frankly exquisite lover work through whatever it was which troubled him on his own. The not knowing, the lack of a solution, ate away at Shang Tsung, but his calculating, better judgment won out and he remained silent, withdrawing from the bed and moving toward the small table set for a breakfast as yet unserved.

  Without a word, the deity withdrew to the sorcerer’s expansive closet, yet another cave feature carved directly into the mountainside, but polished smooth and bearing little resemblance to the rough-hewn rock it might once have been. The monks, he recalled, had built a crude sanctuary up this far, at least, and that had been an alcove for worship. Now it was for a different, more material sort of homage. The sorcerer did not follow Raiden, instead turning upon his chair to watch the storm. It stayed where it was, hovering ominously in the distance, devouring the sunrise and rumbling threateningly. He scoffed as best he could, but there was real fear lurking deep in his hindbrain and his heart, not for the storm itself, perhaps, but what it represented. Once more, he found himself going over the events of the evening, combing through each explicit detail exhaustively, seeking any clue he had violated some unseen barrier and that the deity had consequently given some clue which he might have, in the throes of his passion, ignored.

  “It is not of your doing, Tsung,” Raiden’s voice appeared suddenly, as if from nowhere, but in truth, the colossal man was standing just behind Shang Tsung, fully clothed, wrapped in his customary habit, save that his hair was still free. This was one concession he had become comfortable making, even around the servants. Shang Tsung’s eyes ran over the beautiful cut of the cloth, the way it hugged Raiden’s figure, but in a utilitarian way, despite how ornate the damascened designs upon the cloth may have been. To say nothing of his need to cover himself, he at least has elegant taste. A vision of Raiden in plain, loose-fitting, gray and white robes flashed in his mind and he shuddered internally.

  “The storm? Of course not, fulminator,” purred the sorcerer in a tone which was, for the first time that morning, teasing. “It is not within my power to affect the weather… not like that, at least. Not yet.”

  This earned him a small, if strained, smile and Raiden’s presence at his table. For a moment, they were both watching the storm with similar expressions of wonder and awe. Without a sound, Raiden’s hand moved slowly across the table to place itself atop where Shang Tsung’s was laying, bare, jewel-less, but no less beautiful for all that. Finely manicured nails, trimmed to perfection, were soon covered by the so-called emissary’s larger hand as he wrapped his fingers around those of the sorcerer and squeezed. Only at the pressure did Shang Tsung’s gaze turn from the distant storm and back to his lover. Oh, how he cherished that word and all its meanings. If only he could understand the meaning behind Raiden’s hesitance. How could he have known that it was the very concept of his status as someone’s “lover” which had given the celestial being pause.

  “I owe you an explanation, Tsung… perhaps many.”

  “You owe me nothing,” the sorcerer interjected.

  “Be that as it may, I am offering you… my openness and truth; I would bare my soul as I… bared my body.” Surprisingly, Raiden’s eyes did not fall, though once more his cheeks colored with a sweet dusting of gold. Shang Tsung had the sudden desire—perhaps it was not so sudden—to lay his lips tenderly upon that flesh, to see that color spread. Once more, he held back his desirous mind and heart and settled to listening instead. “You have had my flesh, now I… offer my mind.”

  Shang Tsung shifted. The storm rumbled in the distance, but it seemed to be losing its intensity and vehemence, content merely to threaten, never to move. Lightning flashed almost gently across and between the dark clouds, but the sorcerer saw none of this. His back was facing the superficial storm and his eyes were fixed upon the real one. Shang Tsung’s thumb ran familiar, oscillating patterns over Raiden’s knuckles as he began to speak.

  “I have lived… long… and seen much,” said Raiden, as if Shang Tsung did not already know this upon laying eyes on him the first time. Still, the sorcerer waited patiently, his sharp mind closing like a trap over each word and considering each with great care. “But there are admittedly  many things I have not permitted myself to… experience.” Without going into any detail which might alert Shang Tsung that he was more than an ascendant humanoid, or some creation of the fire god Liu Kang, Raiden spoke, choosing each word carefully as a jeweler selects gems for a piece of great value.

  “I am changed, I think, because of this and it… frightens me,” Raiden explained further. Nodding toward the distant hurricane, he continued. “I am not accustomed to this kind of misgiving—it is loathsome to me… I am loathsome to me because of it.”

  “Because of what I have… done?” The hesitance in Shang Tsung’s voice alarmed Raiden and his eyes widened almost imperceptibly. “I have asked too much of you too quickly, dear one.”

  “No,” said Raiden, shaking his head. “You asked for and gave nothing which I did not desire to give or to receive. Our exchange was an honest one.” Perhaps more honest than I have been with him since we encountered each other this final time. “Our desire was—is … mutual.”

  Shang Tsung studied his mentor a while in silence. The wind from the ocean had fallen completely still, as if the oncoming storm had torn it all away, leaving the bare bones of absolute reality, a frightening vista indeed. The sorcerer pursed his lips, considering many things once more, and then nothing at all, save the man before him. “I believe I know what I have to offer you—what I could teach you, o’ resplendent thunderbolt.”

  Raiden’s thick, dark eyebrows rose questioningly. If he was honest with himself—a dangerous prospect, even for a god—he was very fond of the various monikers assigned to him by his sorcerous companion. This one was new, but just as creative as his others. He had but one, the man’s given name. It seemed like little, until he used it and the sorcerer’s pupils dilated and gooseflesh rose upon his skin. “I have no doubt you offer much, Tsung. Am I to understand that you have come to a conclusion…?”

  “I have indeed,” confirmed Shang Tsung, the impish smile quickly being replaced by a grave look. “There is much and more you know about me, and about this world—it almost seems as if you have been here before, but that is neither here nor there, as they say.” His mirth at Raiden’s minute and well-disguised alarm was difficult to mask.

  “You lack knowledge of yourself—not of your nature; you know much about that, I do not doubt, but about what that nature means… You know what you need, and of the needs of others you are… irritatingly well-versed, almost to a fault. But you do not know what you want, what you desire… and when you find that, you cannot seem to allow yourself to grasp it, because you fear your own desire to be desired.

  “Is that not so?”

  The look upon Raiden’s face told Shang Tsung all he needed to know about the truth of his statement, and more than that, about how he had never once considered this, in all his eons of life—eons upon eons, if the sorcerer’s private theories were correct. The revelation seemed momentarily to break him and, thus, the storm. The light flooded Shang Tsung’s bedchamber, golden and stunning, catching in the diamond tears falling down Raiden’s shapely cheeks and clattering, solid bits of mithril, onto the table between them. They caught the streaming sunlight and threw beautiful flecks of rainbow around the opulent room as the sorcerer leaned across that table and pressed their lips together, softly, but with deliberate force.

 “You fear that I have… taken you and that it somehow diminishes your radiance,” Shang Tsung said, pulling back, “but I assure you, nothing diminishes you without your consent… And it is not just I who have had you, pet.” The sorcerer stopped a moment, measuring his words as he had always done. He had come this far, however. Why stop now? “You also have had me, and you will have me… for eternity.”

[hamaon]

Okay I know I already asked but if you feel like allowing another request, Lan Xichen?

Lan Xichen, oh Lan Xichen.

How I feel about this character No thoughts, feelings only. Flute swirl cute. Fingers? Cute. Gnawable. So elegant and conducts himself so gracefully. What a good boy. What a joy to the eye. Someone should kiss him a lot.

He’s so consciously good to everyone all the time. He’s so invested in being fair and he thinks about the world and how people and he himself relates to it so much. (“If there was no one but you in this world, Young Master Wei, you could do anything at all you wanted, but no man’s an island and we live in a society.”)

Massively fucked up about him always. It’s so fucking unfair. It’s, oh no. Canon gives him no path to recovery. I talked about cathartic negative emotions before, but this one feels too raw. From a shipping perspective it is a pretty satisfying note to end on ngl, but my mind still shies away from such total devastation. I can handle Jin Guangyao passing away, apparently, but letting myself think about Lan Xichen having to deal with the circumstances that led to that for the rest of his life is how I end up with fifty bazillion post-canon scenarios where there’s some closure because fuck that, actually.

All the people I ship romantically with this character Just the one guy. This is now a xiyao free space.

People have probably pointed this out before, but it really struck me the other day that the clothes Jin Guangyao is wearing when he first gets legitimized have the Jin sigil on the damn shoulder area like everyone was wearing as wee baby students during the Cloud Recesses lectures. During those episodes post-Sunshot, he’s not even a proper Jin. He’s a Jin pupil. He’s on PROBATION.

Meanwhile Lan Xichen is wearing the biggest, fanciest clothes he does in the show (I guess you could make an argument for the costume in the Empathy flashback), this is absolutely a man with power. Put them next to each other and look at them for a little while and you have like the largest possible gap in social standing they can have while being recognized gentry.

And this discrepancy was all that I could concentrate on while watching the episodes with that one Jin gathering where Wei Wuxian downs Lan Wangji’s drink and throws his weight around. Lan Xichen waits for the cup-slapping feat. Jin Guangshan to be over and quickly goes through the motions with the end-of-event niceties as a Lan representative and then, in his heavy-ass robe, hurries after just-an-intern Jin Guangyao like wait honey here’s a napkin (handkerchief) from my purse (sleeve) and oh man, he does not personally experience the person that is Jin Guangyao in terms of their social standing.

...Then they stand shoulder-to-shoulder in these fits in later episodes/scenes and pass opinions back and forth without either one being a particularly dominant voice in the conversation, generally sharing an outlook. Cute.

...End of xiyao free space.

My non-romantic OTP for this character Wei Wuxian! Okay, not really, but I do find all of their scenes together and their varying levels of tensity entertaining. I love Lan Xichen’s moments of gentle trolling in the show, whether or not they’re out of any particular personal fondness. Wei Wuxian shows a certain carefulness around Lan Xichen, I think. It’s a fascinating relationship in all of its iterations.

I should answer Lan Wangji, probably, in that he’s the actually close non-Jin Guangyao relationship Lan Xichen has that I’m most about but, hm. You know how sometimes people ship things in a way where [character A] is the one they’re actually invested in, and [character B] is merely a convenient vessel to make whatever they want to happen with [character A] happen? That’s pretty similar to my feelings on the twin jades.

I like Lan Xichen’s devotion to his brother, and how you can read a whole lot personal sacrifice into it (you will never convince me that the baby brother wasn’t their mother’s darling), but that’s about Lan Xichen, not the both of them. The small gestures of concern from Lan Wangji’s side do make me feel some emotion about them as a unit, but it’s, as has been pointed out, a very uneven relationship. That’s not really a bad thing, and it’s really what you would expect considering everything from their birth order to their family situation, but I don’t feel particularly strongly about Lan Wangji, who necessarily is the main focus both in canon and fandom because of that, so yeah.

My unpopular opinion about this character I suppose there are the usual opinions regarding ignorance, intelligence and passivity. That last one is what I dislike personally; basically every scene Lan Xichen is in he is doing some sort of complex situation management. Unfortunate that a character so resistant to the textual bad guy of the story (mob mentality lol) is such a joke to the fans at times.

However, I’m not here to talk about any of that. I’m here to talk about Lan Xichen and force! Used against people, but also in general. Because I’ve often seen expressed the wish that he should “get” to kick ass more and oh man, I don’t think Lan Xichen should fight, not more.

Okay, let me back up a little, it’s not that it’s a horrible thing that he, like, was very effective and active in a war most of the cast fought in, or goes on night hunts occasionally. But it doesn’t seem like it’s of a particular interest to him, either.

There’s this promo picture for the Untamed that I love where all the other Lan are posing with their swords (not Lan Yi, we’re not counting Lan Yi), but Lan Xichen’s is nowhere in sight and he has his flute, instead. It’s not that it’s not a weapon, also, but it’s so much more than that, and even when wielded as one it has a much wider variety of uses than purely destructive ones. The Lan have their music, but Lan Xichen seems particularly associated with his instrument over his sword.

Or take the live action scene where he blocks Nie Mingjue and people love to focus on that one part, but he... never draws the blade, the scene starts with him standing to the side, because he understands that it would be better if the two more relevant parties in this conflict managed to sort their differences organically between themselves, and ends with him standing aside again, because Meng Yao indicates he wants to take the lead. The bulk of the defending/persuading he’s doing is purely verbal (and eloquent!) and he raises his scabbard only when it’s literally the one thing that’s stopping Meng Yao from being cut in half. It’s the final option.

I like it when characters have “obvious” in-born traits (big, strong) that would seem to lead them down a certain path, but do not in fact suit them particularly well in reality, and when they are allowed to be recognized for qualities they themselves feel more connected to, which to me in Lan Xichen’s case is diplomacy and de-escalation. It can be an interesting reminder every now and then that, yeah, he could probably take control of a scene within seconds if he felt like it, but really only because it underlines how he’s... not doing that. When Zewu-jun has to actually go on the offensive, it feels like a loss. That’s not what this person is here for, fundamentally.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon The eyes-closing thing is nice, it says to me that he often finds the goings-on stressful, and that the way he recharges is by checking out for a moment. He’s worked hard, he should get to do that! Permanently. Let Lan Xichen walk out of society for good.

...Oh no, he kind of did.

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2021 | Part II

For anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal. I think the first one was 2011? Maybe? In which case, woohoo, ten years of scrapbooking!

It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.

A reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read 80 books (as of today, i am at 31 books, which sounds not great but goodreads assures me that it’s only 1 book behind schedule), finish five video games (at two at the moment... mostly because I keep dragging my feet on actually finishing P5R), write more than 20 fics (at... 6) or something larger than 20k (negative), and write either an original short story or start a novel (i have started plotting for the novel? does that count?)

Past Years

MOVIES

May

Mortal Kombat

(SW: The Phantom Menace)

(SW: Attack of the Clones)

(SW: Revenge of the Sith)

(SW: Rogue One)

(SW: A New Hope)

SW: Clone Wars

Enola

Wonder Woman 1984

Dark Phoenix

(Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring)

June

(Princess Mononoke)

Sailor Moon: Eternal

In The Heights

Wish Dragon

July

Luca

(Thor: Ragnarok)

(Doctor Strange)

(Guardians of the Galaxy)

Black Widow

Space Jam 2 Electric Boogaloo

August

The Green Knight

Godzilla vs Kong

(Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

BOOKS

May

These Violent Delights | Chloe Gong [Fin]

The Midnight Library | Matt Haig [Fin]

The Galaxy, and the Ground Within | Becky Chambers [Fin]

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott

People We Meet On Vacation | Emily Henry [Fin]

The Soulmate Equation | Christina Lauren [Fin]

June

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott [Fin]

September Love | Lang Leav [Fin]

One Last Stop | Casey McQuiston [Fin]

The Chosen and the Beautiful | Nghi Vo [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 2 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

For the Wolf | Hannah Whitten [Fin]

The Sandman | Neil Gaiman [Fin]

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater

July

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater [Fin]

TAZ: The Crystal Kingdom | The Mcelroys [Fin]

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav

August

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan [Fin]

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 3 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 4 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

PODCASTS

May

The Penumbra Podcast, s3-END

June

The Magnus Archive - Fear Winners 1 & 2

July

Gods of Appalachia, Eps 1-6

(Wolf 359)

Janus Descending

August

(Wolf 359)

Mabel

(Zero Hours, ep 7)

Time:Bombs

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

May

Watcher Entertainment, Are You Scared?

Castlevania, s3, s4 [Fin]

Word of Honor [Fin]

Buzzfeed: Kelsey in Control?

Demon Slayer, s1

June

Demon Slayer, s1 [Fin]

Kim’s Convenience, s4

Leverage, s5 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3

Loki, s1

Lucifer, s2, s3, s4

Trese, s1

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime, s3, s6?)

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural, s1)

Sweet Tooth, s1

Love, Death & Robots

July

Loki, s1 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3 [Fin]

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Shark Week

Lucifer, s5

Masters of the Universe: Revelation

August

The Owl House, s2

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Watcher Weekly+

Buzzfeed: Ruining History

Star Trek Discovery, s1, s2, s3

What If..., s1

VIDEO GAMES

May

Monster Hunter Rise, 12 hours

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, 25 hours

Pokemon Go

June

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, ? hours

Pokemon Go

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, ??? Hours

Persona 5 Royal, ??? hours

July

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

August

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

Ori and the Blind Forest [Fin]

DELIGHTFUL FIC

May

The word is help. by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 9k | In a flash, Fett has his blaster out and pointed at Luke’s head. “You’re right,” he says. “Turnabout’s fair play. So maybe I oughta shoot you.”

Don’t be afraid. by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 12k | “Padawan Kenobi,” Yoda says, after a moment. “Complete your training, Master Skywalker will.”

who carried the hill by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 22k | Din’s about to head up the ramp onto the newly-repaired Razor Crest when a string pulls taut around his heart and yanks him into the sky.

Tapestry by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 8k | In March, Obi-Wan drags Anakin to another faculty party, where Anakin gets all sorts of wrong ideas about Quinlan Vos and decides to fellate Obi-Wan in a coat closet about it.

wonderterror by peradi | Star Wars | Leia/Han/Luke | 6k | Anakin Skywalker is the son of the Force.He’s half human and half something monumental.What does that make his children?

Xen Gardens by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan & Shane | 1k | Shane Madej saves the day.A strange man comes to congratulate him.

A Series of Better Decisions by SassySnowperson | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 9k | "Kill him. Kill him now!" Chancellor Palpatine hissed, as Anakin held the two blades against Dooku's neck. "No," Anakin said. "It's not the Jedi way."

Futurus (-a -um) by cadesama | Star Wars | Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan | 60k | Cracked hyperdrive? No problem. Just hold it together with the Force. Time travel? Well. That could be a bigger problem.

Comfort in Wartime by Rosbridge | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 4k | Obi-Wan is exhausted, drunk, and just about out of fucks to give.

spark me up, i'm a firework (i'll burst into light) by coffeeinallcaps | FATWS | Bucky/Sam | 7k | "You know how the super-soldier serum makes everything, well, super? I guess you could say that's what happened to my sex drive."

Thaw by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 6k | That’s what hope does to you, Luke remembers now. It lingers at the back of your mind, whispering maybe, maybe, so that knowing a plan is stupid isn’t enough to keep you from trying it.

Christ in Repose by spqr | Din/Luke | 8k | More on this story as it develops. Subscribe to HNN’s JEDI WATCH newsletter for instant updates on Jedi sightings throughout the galaxy.

Insufferable by perkynurples | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Wen Kexing asks a question. Zhou Zishu only hesitates to answer for a little while.

parasitic, parasocial by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 45k | Xue Yang stumbles upon the channel of Fuxue, a popular videogame streamer, and immediately becomes completely and utterly obsessed with him. Unfortunately, Fuxue has a boyfriend -- but that's fine: Xue Yang loves a challenge.

Aaron Burr has Hamilton's RSI and he isn't pleased about it. by DragonBandit | Hamilton | Hamilton/Aaron Burr | 3k | Aaron knows 2 things about his soulmate: The first is that they're angry about everything. The second is that they need to fucking sleep.

dinluke lawyer au by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 31k | At 1:18 a.m., just when Luke is starting to think he might’ve gotten away with something, Biggs Darklighter shows up on the other side of his desk and says, “I can’t believe you called in sick to get shotgun married to a Mando.”

like, comment, subscribe by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | Lord of the Rings | Gimli/Legolas | 90k+ | Legolas meets Gimli for lunch - unfortunately, he meets someone else, too.

a jackal; a thief by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Ye Baiyi | 11k | This is not the first time Wen Kexing’s body has been poisoned like this.

you're the trouble that i always find by sundiscus | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 27k | “Do you know him?” Jin Wang asks.The ringing in Zhou Zishu's ears gets louder. “No, Wangye,” he says.At Zhou Zishu’s voice, the prisoner freezes.

vampire!wwx threadfic by sundiscus | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | ??? words | in which vampires exist in a modern cultivation au, lwj is investigating a string of strange deaths, and wwx is a vampire he can’t seem to kill.

Velle by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | LotR | Gimli/Legolas | 29k | Velle (Latin): to want.

June

May All My Wounds Be Mortal by hansbekhart | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 10k | Peeled out of his many robes, Wen Kexing’s body reveals itself to be mostly leg. He strips eagerly, grinning up at Zhou Zishu as if this is another joke between them. See? Wen Kexing’s body seems to say, I have no secrets from you.

drop by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 4k |  Xue Yang has had this dream before.

Splenda by Tierfal | FMA | Ed/Roy | 19k | WIP | A sugar daddy AU that barely even qualifies as a sugar daddy AU, because these two can't do anything right.

From the Ashes by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 3k | “This doesn’t need to leave this room,” Ryan had said that first time. “Casual is my middle name.”

Whale Songs by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 2k | It could be humming, he thinks. Some distant angelic humming. What it’s humming about, he’d have to find out the hard way. All he can hear in his mind’s ear is come closer. There’s so much more in the depths than you’ve ever known.

A Good Bargain by Neery | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 11k | The Window of Heaven captures the Ghost Valley's master. Zhou Zishu is put in charge of interrogating him.

So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 13k | Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.

the agony and the irony by arostine | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 44k | WIP |  Ryan has a lot on his plate right now. He’s one of three members of his species employed at BuzzFeed, and the only male omega, and his boss keeps asking him to do videos about being an iterant ‘to educate the humans,’ when what he really wants to do is videos about ghosts.

the rest of your life by bestliars | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 30k | MYSTERY DISAPPEARANCE IN THE MIDWEST! The year is 2034. Successful video producer Ryan Bergara uproots his whole life to take care of his friend’s children.

sit in my circle and hold my hand by soda_coded | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 14k | Ryan and Shane work for the metaphysical department of the LAPD, fool around and get cursed.

Idle Hands (Do the Devil's Work) by ma_malice | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 4k | In which the only upside to being a demon stuck in a seasonal Chicago snowstorm is the ability to abandon your body and possess your boyfriend in LA.

Shell Game by Giddygeek | The Magicians | Quentin/Eliot | 20k | Or, Quentin can’t believe he never thought to ask if there was a magical time in Fillory when people swapped bodies with the last person they slept with.

Contention by hollybennett123 | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu/Ye Baiyi | 3k |  The Zhou Zishu of ten minutes ago, who first agreed to the whole thing — the evening’s conversation and general bickering over drinks taking an unexpectedly filthy turn — had been thinking only about the imminent pounding on offer and not, well, everything else that might come with it.

Necrocafé by etothey | Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon/Harrow | 2k | Harrowhark Nonagesimus isn't sure which confounds her more: the new boxes of bones she is to animate, or the hot redheaded courier who brings the boxes.

simple man by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius, Loki/Loki | 6k | “Tell you what,” says Mobius, shortly after the Timekeepers have sentenced Loki to death, “why don’t I take care of this?”

(Un)disclosed desires by Springandastorm | Loki | Loki/Mobius | "That's not how I see you at all, Loki." Mobius said, unexpectedly earnest. "We all play roles sometimes." 

sources of light by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Zhou Zishu makes a difficult choice in order to save Wen Kexing's life. The morning after is not an easy one.

warm company, cold nights by janonny | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 23k | He gave Zhou Zishu a lingering look from beneath his lashes. “Your virtuous wife will accompany you of course.”

July

the potential of broken things by icarusinflight | Harry Potter | Drarry | 11k | "Can you feel that? Some things want to be what they once were. The original spell is still there, and it wants to work again. All it takes is a little push and then"—Draco clicks his fingers of his free hand—"snap, everything will go back into place."

little beast by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 7k | Payback's a bitch.

you, undeniable you by returnsandreturns | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Jake/Amy | 1k | “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Jake asks, for the fourth time. “Because we can just ditch that thing, toss it out a window, do it missionary like the founding fathers intended.”

Car Talk by drunkbedelia | Loki | Mobius/Loki | 1k | ‘When I pruned myself, I thought I might be able to find Loki,' Sylvie said.

one too many by sarcasticfishes | Watcher | Ryan/Shane | 1k | “Stay here,” Ryan says, just casual enough, “I’ll drive you home tomorrow.”

Tencent and Chill by quoth_the_ravenclaw | The Untamed | Nie Huaisang/Nie Mingjue | 2k | “Da-ge,” Huaisang whines, all for show, as much a performance as the actors on screen. He wiggles his toes. “My feet are so sore, you worked me too hard.”

The House at the End of the World by Hopetohell | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1k | What will they do, now that they can do anything?

moderate the middle by ElisAttack | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 9k | People only smiled with their eyes when it was real. Unless they were a Loki. No matter the differences between the variants, their tricky grins were a constant as much as they were indiscernible.

Lost and Sound by snack_size | Loki | Loki/Thor/Sylvie | 5k | “Sylvie, did you help my brother defeat the Time Police?”

push the button (and let me know) by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | “How about this?” hands folded on the table, he watches Loki intently. “If you tell me why, I’ll answer.” 

We're (not) all villains here by sir_not_appearing_in_this_archive | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 19k | WIP | Alone and friendless (once again), Loki has to find a way to set things right, or at least right enough he can comfortably sneak off into the sunset, which starts with one thing: saving Mobius's lost memories.

what remains by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | “You’re no analyst.” Mobius sounds stunned. They are not aligned, they are not in tandem. But there are wistful glimmers of what is now agonisingly out of reach.

worth a shot by thereyoflight | Loki | Loki/Sylvie | 2k | When Loki and Sylvie are moments away from being cornered on the train in Lamentis, they resort to desperate measures.

Bug Problems by xorabbit | Marvel | Grandmaster/Loki | 7k |  Loki ends up on Sakaar, of course, with just that many more schemes to scheme. However, the Grandmaster is not altogether too terrible--a bit of fine luck, for once--and perhaps it's all right to have a better-natured fling while one works out what's next.

our way, no takebacks by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 20k | "Nice speech," Sylvie drawls, but the sarcasm doesn't land.

August

Vennen min by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 12k | The day they let Mobius out of the infirmary, Loki gets assigned to a new handler. This, Mobius is pretty sure, is where the trouble starts.

new terms by dinosuns | Loki | President Loki/Mobius | 21k | For the first time in his life, Loki triumphs. How fitting then, for the end to swiftly barge in unannounced.

Icarus by Waako | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | When Mobius got pruned, he expected two different outcomes. Either eternal peace or eternal emptiness. He certainly didn’t expect a grey sky, ruins of old buildings looming over him, and a Loki variant watching him like he was a piece of fresh meat.

Stress Relief by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 3.5k |  “Let me read you something,” Loki says. He rifles through the pages, clears his throat, and Mobius puts a hand over his eyes because he knows what’s coming before Loki even reads the first word—“Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō—“

just like the weather by sarcasticfishes | BFU | Shane/Ryan/Sara | 6k | “Y’know,” Ryan shrugs. “Friends have kids together sometimes. Like if a same-sex couple has a friend surrogate for them. Or sometimes people just co-parent.”

Woodash and iron and leather by iffervescent | The Witcher | 9k | Jaskier is the only person Geralt's ever been around who doesn't smell of fear

Food of Love by tanktrilby | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 22k | I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

If The Morning Light Sets In by nagia | Castlevania | Sypha/Trevor/Alucard | 45k | Save the Belmonts, save the world.

halfway by ivelostmyspectacles | Castlevania | Sypha/Alucard/Trevor | 12k | Vampire attacks are happening again. Unprovoked, strange, humans and vampires dying alike. A disease. Alucard assures them that he isn't susceptible.

lonely lonely heart by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 7k |  Mobius looks down at the paperwork, gets a sort of flustered farmboy look on his face, looks back up at Loki and says, “You offered to give a cop fellatio in the middle of Central Park.”

Bedrest by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen& Xue Yang | 3k | Xiao Xingchen's newest patient is causing him problems. He just won't stay put.

too little, too late. by raisesomehale | Miraculous Ladybug | Adrien/Marinette | 6k | WIP |  “Ladybug.” Chat’s voice cuts in like molten steel.

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

May

Jesper Fahey | 99 Problems

Jesper Fahey | OLD TOWN ROAD

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

human | kaz brekker

bucky barnes || humble

The Mandalorian || Warriors

The Mandalorian | I'll See You Again

Hope is the light.

►Zhou Zishu & Wen Kexing | Beautiful mess

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

versailles at night | alina & the darkling

look what you made me do | the darkling

Bucky Barnes | Rasputin

Obi-Wan || dirty work

Blood in the water [the Witcher]

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

Enola Holmes || Unstoppable

Shadow & Bone || Fire Meets Fate

Mo Dao Zu Shi Season 3 AMV/Trailer - Teeth

Kylo Ren | STAR WARS

June

MARVEL || Rasputin

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

i dont enjoy hurting people | Loki [1x01]

loki laufeyson • unsteady [⚠ 1x01]

MARVEL || Levitating

Shadow & Bone | Paint It Black

Glitter & Gold | Jesper Fahey

Shadow and Bone | Levitating

wen kexing ✘ zhou zishu | put your lips on mine

Erik Lensherr - Magneto

The Crows || Circus

The Crows | Thrift Shop (Shadow & Bone)

Zemo & Bucky — RASPUTIN [tfatws]

Cruella | Feeling good

Percy Jackson || Watch Me

THE KILLING KIND || The Magnus Archives Animatic

LOKI || Glorious Purpose

The Darkling | Black Heretic

Sam x Bucky || Handclap [HUMOR]

Loki || Lovely

Doctor Strange || Dystopia

Loki & Sylvie || I’m not your friend

Loki || Hate Me

MARVEL || River

Loki & Bucky || Paint It Black

Wanda Maximoff || The Scarlet Witch (WandaVision)

Play With Fire || MARVEL || Loki Doctor Strange Scarlet Witch

MARVEL || Warriors

Loki || God of Mischief || You Do You

(Marvel) Loki | You Will Never Be A God

Marvel's Horror Cinematic Universe

community gardens || the magnus archives PMV

July

Thor || Rise

Loki & Sylvie - Demons in my head [ep.3]

//HUMANS// THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Loki | Lost

A Quiet Place

Loki & Sylvie || Strange Birds

Loki & Sylvie "I won't let you down" | (+1x05)

♚ Loki & Sylvie | If You Love Me (1x04)

Loki & Sylvie | If our love is wrong [Loki +1x04]

Loki and Mobius | Hold On [Loki +1x05]

loki laufeyson • in the end [+ 1x04]

Loki and Sylvie || Feeling Good

Marvel || Black Widow - Counting Stars || Natasha Romanoff 

Cruella || Little Wicked

MARVEL || This is My Time || Shang-Chi Trailer Music

Sylvie | Unstoppable (Loki +1x03)

Loki and Sylvie (Lady Loki) || Play With Fire

Wanda and Vision || Dancing With Your Ghost

Wanda Maximoff and Loki || You Should See Me In A Crown

Loki and his Variants ⚔ King of Space [ep.5]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ This world is slowing down [ep.5]

Sylvie || Confident (+1x04)

•Loki x Sylvie ⱠΞⴼ King and Queens•

Loki - In The End | Marvel

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Out of Control [ep.4]

Loki & Mobius | Dynasty [LOKI/+1x04]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Love War [ep.6]

(Marvel) Loki | Glorious Purpose

(MARVEL) Loki | Chaos

Loki | In The End [+1X06]

Loki x Sylvie | Another Love

Loki & Sylvie | Arcade [ Loki +1x06]

MARVEL || The Assembled Universe (c/w ASTrix UI)

August

Natasha & Yelena || Do It Like A Dude

Black Widow || Smells Like Teen Spirit

MARVEL || Uptown Funk

MARVEL || 1 in a Million

MARVEL/DC || Dies Irae

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness TRAILER #1

MARVEL || Loki 

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

May

The Wild One - Suzi Quatro

What’s So Funny ‘Bout - Sharon Van Etten

Levitating - Dua Lipa

The Underground - Meg Myers

You Won’t Find Me - Narrow Skies

Elixir of Life - Leah

Salt and the Sea - The Lumineers

ERROR - Niki, Kradness

Runaway - AURORA

Butterfly Water - Pastelle

Close to the Sun - Porcelain Pill

Selkie-boy - The Lost Words

Good Riddance - Annapantsu

Die Anywhere Else - Julia Henderson

Heat Waves - Glass Animals

Down - St Vincent

Word of Honor OST

Welcome to the Pleasuredome - Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Shy Away - Twenty One Pilots

Follow You - Imagine Dragons

I’m Not That Girl - Kerry Ellis

Meant to be Yours - Ryan McCartan

Ex Wives - Six

Euphoria - BTS

Walls - Cher

96,000 - In the Heights

Sun Goes Down - Lil Nas X

Enough For You - Olivia Rodrigo

Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

Ziti E Buoni - Maneskin

Shum - Go_A

Loco Loco - Hurricane

Space Ghost Coast to Coast - Glass Animals

The Horror and the Wild (whole album - The Amazing Devil

Chant - Hadestown

Titans - Major Lazer, Sia

Bones - Galantis

Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Le Nozze di Figaro - Hybrid

Save Your Tears - The Weeknd

Psycho - Post Malone

Gold Lion - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Close to Me - Ellie Goulding

And So It Went - The Pretty Reckless

help herself - bbno$

Fire For You - Cannons

Twist the Knife - Chromatics

He Said She Said - Chvrches

Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Campus - Vampire Weekend

Your Power - Billie Eilish

Reach - Eternal Eclipse

1 Last Cigarette - The Band Camino

Insertion - Hans Zimmer

from the edge - fictionjunction

The Devil Is a Gentleman - Merci Raines

Meet Me In The Woods - Amarante

Fire - Saint Mesa

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

Appetite - Casey Edwards

All Things Devour - aeseaes

Throne - Saint Mesa

Witchcraft - Vian Izak

June

The Shrine / An Argument - Fleet Foxes

It’s Tricky - Run

Darjeeling - Barrie

Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings - Father John Misty

Picture Me Better - Weyes Blood

Loch Lomond - Mackenzi Tolk

Punta - Matzzy

Touch It Clean - DJ Raulito

Oh No - Kreepa

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - Marina

Sofia - Askjell

The Boy - Shannon & the Clams

First Steps - Lena Raine

The Power of Balance Rearranged - Rush Garcia

And So My Heart Became a Void - Ursine Vulpine

Paper Mache - Iris Lune

Catch Me If You Can - Desert Belle

Darkroom Double - Moon & Pollution

Serotonin - girl in red

In the Air Tonight - Natalie Taylor

When Your Heart Is a Stranger - Friends In Paris

Moon Effect - Sailor Moon Eternal OST

In A Black Out - Hamilton Leithauser

Forever - CHVRCHES

Way Less Sad - AJR

Helter Skelter - Detention

The Devil You Know - X Ambassadors

TVA - Natalie Holt

Honeybee-The Head and the Heart

Home All Summer - Anthony Ramos

In the Shadows - Amy Stroup

My Way - Lucifer Cast

In the Air Tonight - Jon Howard

The Beast - Old Caltone

The Beast - Delta Rae

Freak Like Me - Adina Howard

Only the Good Die Young - Billy Joel

Winds of Change - Scorpions

good 4 u - Olivia Rodrigo

If I Could See The World - Patsy Cline

Ends of the Earth - Lord Huron 

The Killing Kind - Marianas Trench

Bones - Wens

Kiss Me More - Doja Cat

How Not to Drown - CHVRCHES

July

Dark Moon - Bonnie Guitar

Free Smiles - Tia Ray

Sundown Blues - Joanna Levine

Citta Vuoto - Mina

If You Love Me - Brenda Lee

Very Full - Tom Hiddleston

Loki Green Theme - Natalie Holt

Wrecked - Imagine Dragons

The Wolves - Cyrus Reynolds

Cure For Me - Aurora

Theory of Light - Eternal Eclipse

Fate of the Clockmaker - Eternal Eclipse

Potential Breakup Son - Aly and AJ

transparent soul - travis barker

My Love Will Never DSie - AG, Claire Wyndham

Happy Together - King Princess

Atomise - Temple

Darkside - Oshins

Someone to Watch Over Me - Lucifer Cast

This is Ours - Peter Sivo

Love and War - Fleurie

Take Me To Church - MILCK

Devil I Know - Allie X

East of Eden - Zella Day

Shadow Preachers - Zella Day

Losing My Religion - BELLSAINT

Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley

Dark Side - Blind Channel

Tanz Mit Mir - Faun

My Jolly Sailor Bold - Ashley Serena

Stuttering - Fefe Dobson

August

Monsters and Fairies - Savannah

Chosen - SVRCINA

IAN HA 3BYK - GO A

Freya - Verdandi

Sick on Seventh Strett - Sarah and the Safe Word

Tarah - Sae Sae Norris

Suspicion - Sherwood Roberts

Fjorgyn - Osi and the Jupiter

Fight to Make It Up - Takenobu

The Edge of Dawn - Rozen

Innocence - Cannon Diviision

A Stray Child - .Hack//Sign

The Kiss - Luigi Rubino

Any Kind of Dead Person - Ghost Quartet

The Great Unknown - Dominique Gilbert

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

over the rainbow - misterwives

Fireflies - Cullen Vance

My mother Told Me - Nati Dreddd

Athetosis - Crywolf

Major Tom - Shiny Toy Guns

Novacaine - 10 Years

Right Here Right Now - Jesus Jones

NDA - Billie Eilish

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

Completing the Circle - Gareth Coker

There’ll Always Be Another Monster - Brian D’Oliveira

POSTED FIC

May

take my hand and i'll drown you with me | Star Wars | Rey & Ben Solo | 2,157 words |  “You brought this upon yourself,” the creature told her, its voice serene.

June

keeping me restless and whole | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 1,584 words | Mobius was very young when he encountered his first Loki.

July

feed me lies until i'm dead | Loki | Thor/Loki | 3,476 words | “Don’t you think we should talk about it?” Thor asks.

the ghost of us can linger here | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 4,432 words | “So, how do you crazy kids want to do this?” Mobius asks them in a stage whisper, mouth twitching. At her back, Loki laughs, burying the sound against the curve of her neck.

there's a whisper in my bones | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,794 words |  “All right,” she says. “Fine. Let’s make things more interesting. Take off your clothes.”

east of eden | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,202 words |  “How long have you been fucking him?”  Mobius asks, stroking his fingers against the place where leather meets skin.

Triptych in C Minor | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1,647 words | Pt 1 | There is a house at the end of time, past the last storm, pushed up against the very edge of the unknown. It is a castle, a manor, a fortress - all depending on who inhabits it. But one thing that it never is, is a home.

August

N/A

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

May

2k of Reylo mermay fic

June

N/A

July

1k+ of Xue Yang being a slut for Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen

300 words of vampire Song Lan

7k of Green Knight AU

August

10k of Green Knight AU

1.5k of hair dye shenanigans

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

May

yearning: a playlist for the heart

June

the chosen and the beautiful: a mix for jordan baker

July 

kings & queens of the ruckus: a mix for loki and sylvie

August

N/A

[bala-xiv]

dream logic;

“A heartbeat without harmony...”

Words without tone, without rhythm, without melody still echoed in Robyn’s mind; lyrics without a song, a heartbeat without harmony. He struggled to make it fit as he lay in his bed, to piece it together with the plucked and hummed notes he had heard from the others in the expedition, but none of it seemed to slot into place. None of it seemed to work as it should.

It shouldn’t have bothered him so. The simulated goddess had fallen to his and his fellow expeditioners’ best efforts, after all, and their might had been duly proven to the Allagan node which barred their way... But where Robyn had heard only the goddess’ biting words and the clash of sorcery and steel, the others had all heard something far different: a song, as though emanating from the goddess herself.

“Moonlight without dark...”

It shouldn’t have bothered him at all, that he had missed something so unimportant — but how unimportant was it, really, that he had missed something which sounded so clear, so obvious to everyone else? 

What was missing? What was he missing?

“The heart seeketh equilibrium...”

It shouldn’t have bothered him, but it did, to have identified yet one more thing that marked him apart from the rest. Was it important, truly, or did it mark him as inferior in some way? Surely not, but that hardly mattered so much as the fact that he was marked in the first place. Though the goddess wasn’t real, only simulated, there was still something about her presence to which the others had innately attuned — some sort of wavelength that he couldn’t even begin to comprehend, let alone tune into.

Why, then? What was he made for, if not for this?

“...A pointless feature, if you ask me. Why even bother...?”

As the voice rippled through Robyn’s mind like a distant echo, a sharp, sudden spike of pain drove into his head, pounding harder and harder as he clutched his face with a cry. It came upon him with such force that he rolled right out of his bed and onto the ground, only the ground seemed so much more distant than it should have been...and as he landed with a harsh thud, and as the sound of rushing blood faded from his ears, and as the pain in his head finally started to subside, Robyn realized very quickly that he was not where he had been just a moment ago.

The sensation in total was not something altogether unfamiliar to him by now; his first thought upon looking up and finding a dark, cavernous space where his cramped bunk had once been was to wonder if somebody hadn’t managed to activate a materia nearby. But he could see no familiar faces around him, no one at all that seemed to be caught in the same dreamlike state — save two figures in the near distance, both stood with their backs to him as they observed a massive, softly-glowing cylindrical chamber.

“The bother, as with all my ventures, is for your benefit.” One of the figures, dressed in sleek white robes and a pair of spectacles that flashed in the light, was the first to speak. From this distance, from this angle, their face was indistinct. “Did you wish for a mere one-to-one replica, after all? Or would you prefer a body in its absolute prime, perfected for aetherial manipulation and abjuration both?”

The other figure towered over the first, sharp lines of heavy armor silhouetted by the soft light from the chamber.

“My wish was for you to provide a result that matched my expectations — and my patronage.”

It was a cold voice that echoed from beneath that sharply pointed helm. The sound of it turned Robyn’s blood to ice, touched upon a fear so primal that he could only wonder how he hadn’t already heard it in his nightmares.

“And this...thing that you’ve just presented to me,” said the one in armor with a wide, dismissive gesture toward the chamber, “does not seem to meet either measure. Look at it; can it even breathe on its own, let alone stand or fight?”

Robyn had counted incorrectly. There were three figures there: the one in robes, the one in armor, and the one in the chamber, blanched so pale that he could hardly make it out past the glowing light and the shimmering liquid within.

“Your concern is noted,” said the white robes, “but wholly premature. This creature you see before you is a necessary first step in our endeavor; Mark I, if you will, in our efforts to advance and perfect this technology. The next iteration will be significantly improved, I assure you.”

“Why not flush it, then?” Another dismissive gesture from the armored one. “It seems to me much kinder to end its misery... Though I suppose you aren’t well known for your kindness.”

The robed one answered with a breezy laugh. “And dispense with so much valuable data? No, our needs require that I keep this one in store... A framework, if you will, to build future generations upon. Only once we’ve reached the final iteration will I consider permanent disposal.”

“The final iteration?” echoed the armored one. “And how many iterations do you suppose it will take before we’ve reached that point?”

At that Robyn felt a sudden stabbing pain in his head, and words like a sharpened dagger, every bit as cold and painful as pointed steel, bloomed into his mind, echoing the man in armor’s true intent: How much of my time do you intend to waste before you give me what I want? How much of my wealth do you intend to invest in the birth of these worthless creatures?

But the one in robes did not seem perturbed. “While that remains to be seen, you should know that I’ve already begun work on the second iteration. Their differences in ability are already vast, but without this one as a guiding foundation... Well, let’s just say that one could hardly exist without the other.”

Robyn reeled, doubled over on the floor while he clutched at his head all over again. Two pairs of footsteps echoed away from him, one heavy and clanking, the other light and airy, but he could scarcely hear either past the words still echoing in his mind. Words that could only have belonged to that man — words that he could only hear in his own voice, no matter how hard he tried to shut them out...

When the pain finally faded, and when Robyn was finally able to pick up his head again, he found that he was alone in the cavernous dark — alone, with the pale figure in the glowing chamber. Slowly, unsteadily, he got up to his feet. At any moment, this dream could fall out from under him; at any moment he could be cast out from this vision, this memory, whatever this was, and never again have the chance to see what lay beyond.

As he drew closer, the shape in the chamber became clearer to him — a frail-looking Hyur suspended in translucent fluid, its impossibly pale skin cast in a sickly light by the chamber’s glow — though its face remained indistinct, mouth hidden behind a mask connected to several tubes, sunken eyes hidden behind a floating mess of shock-white hair. It floated there — unhearing, said that echoed voice in his mind, unfeeling, unthinking — without any evident response to Robyn’s presence.

Robyn knew, somehow, that he would never have this chance again. Slowly, tentatively, he raised a hand to touch the glass chamber.

The Hyur’s eyes shot open then, clouded and milky white, and with a sudden force that belied its apparent frailty it smashed its head upon the glass in front of Robyn’s face. Again and again it smashed at that spot, the sound a cacophonous roar in Robyn’s ears, and as the glass of the chamber began to crack, as a cloud of blood began to mingle with the fluid already leaking out, there was a voice, an echoed voice, screaming louder and louder inside of his head—

Robyn woke with a gasp, flat on his back on the floor of his bunk, head throbbing and ears ringing. Only once both sensations had subsided — only when he could be sure that whatever he had just seen was a vision, nothing more — did he make the effort to sit up, to double- and triple-check that he was without a shadow of a doubt back in the waking world.

But hadn’t he been awake all along? It felt so much more than a dream, after all; it felt so much more like one of those materia-bound memories, unleashed upon him with such vividity that he could scarcely tell it wasn’t real. But how could that be, when he was nowhere near the devices that unleashed those memories? And if it was a memory, then who...

Slowly, Robyn drew his knees to his chest, rubbing his palms over his forehead as he took one deep breath after another. Whatever it was that had just happened to him, there had to be some explanation for it; there had to be an explanation for all of it. He just had to find it...

“With balance will your worry part...”

Slowly, softly, a melody drifted into the back of his mind; echoed words from an echoed voice. No, he couldn’t fret over such a thing now; he had plenty enough to be worried about already. He shook his head and tried to put it from his mind one last time as he hefted up to his feet, opened the door to his bunk, and made his way out into the corridor of the ship.