#man I haven't gone to an aquarium in years

[kittypup12]

Incredibly stupid headcannon dump of things I think Heisenberg would be OBSESSED with in the modern world

• Bobble heads?? He'd have really tacky ones on his dashboard. Def one of those hula skirt ladies

• Those electric globe things. He'd try to make a gigantic one in your living room

• Thinks they're stupid at first but after getting his hands on one, an air fryer. Nothing is safe from his sick 'can you fry it?' fantasies

• Any theme park, fair, ect. I think his favorite would be the bumper cars and takes it way too seriously of course

• Legos ohmygodholyshit LEGOS. He would create his own little God forsaken builds and probably collect HUNDREDS of sets

• If he ever figures out how tf to use any type of console or PC, you know he'll get into minecraft. I'm stuck between him being a master builder and making some of the most elaborate shit you've ever seen, or can't do fuck all besides wanting to mine infinitely and kill everything lol

Home Depot is his safe space. Is there so often, they probably give him some little "customer of the year" reward or some shit

• Feel like he'd LOVE taking pictures tbh?? He obviously had a knack for... documenting this, so I think give him an old Polaroid and he'd have a BLAST taking pictures of everything. His phone is full of video and pictures. ((He is a total Pintrest girlie, but will deny it))

• He'd be embarrassed about it but loves playgrounds and parks. The closest thing he probably ever had to a playground is a tetnus ridden junkyard, so imagine going for a walk in the park together and coming across one. Maybe it's late, so you decide to hop on the swings together and talk until the street lamps come on 🥺

Okay, but here's modern shit that would just.. blow his mind and not always in a good way, lol

• Modern dogs. Saw this video that showed the difference between common dog breeds from 100 years ago and holy shit.. I love the idea of him seeing, like, a chihuahua or some kind of terrier for the first time and thinking, "What in the fresh hell is THAT???" Terrifying

• That being said, he would be *obsessed* with dogs with prosthetics or wheelchairs. "ITS A DOG ON WHEELS, WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE??"

• Feel like he'd LOVE taking pictures tbh?? He obviously had a knack for... documenting this, so I think give him an old Polaroid and he'd have a BLAST taking pictures of everything. His phone is full of video and pictures. ((He is a total Pintrest girlie, but will deny it))

• Fuckin LOVES zoos and aquariums. Unfortunately, it's probably been a century since he's last gone to one

• "Oh man I am so excited to go to the zoo! I haven't been since I was a kid. Boy, I sure do hope they have my favorite, the Tasmania Tiger. Sure am glad they're still alive. :)" 😬😬😬

• I think he'd be low key terrified of birds?? Obviously paranoid due to them being a source of surveillance in his life.. but the thought of him being afraid of seagulls or pigeons is very funny. Saw the movie 'The Birds'and has never been the same since. Don't get him started on barn owls

• Him finding the internet is worth an entire post of its own, but very first thought is just.. he would ABSOLUTELY need to be supervised for a whiiiiile lol. Man is already unstable enough as it is. Please do not let him find out how to make at home uranium on reddit or something. I'm talking about a thorough conversation on internet safety and AT LEAST parental locks for social media. Baby steps. He is going to be an absolute ipad baby

[alonggoodbye]

//True growth is making a thread tracker and using the queue responsibly. Who am I? Going to answer some more asks and then write some starters!

This up coming week is going to be low activity.

I gotta bring my little brother to get his wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow, my kid's birthday on Tues (going to the aquarium) with the party on Sat, and I think we'll be putting down our older cat somewhere in between. It's a lot.

Tom's got cancer in his tail (probably in his body too) and there's little hope that maybe he'll be fine if they amputate, but I'm not so sure. What's frustrating is that we had to buy aquarium tickets in advance (they were pricey as fuck) and we obviously can't cancel that or the birthday party.

I just wanna cuddle the little man, he's gone through a lot and I'm going to miss him. Those who followed me since auguryofinnocence might remember that I got Tom while I was in the middle of my shift at my first job. My coworker brought him to me when he was super young after his mama died. I had to keep in in a little box in the breakroom because no-one else wanted him since he's mostly black and I had to hide him in my room because I was not allowed to have a cat because we had just gotten a puppy. It's been over 10 years and I still feel like I haven't had enough time with him. Ah.

[adamjvarner]

The Life and Death of Snart

Snart was my pet goldfish. I loved him dearly.

At the end of 2018, my then-girlfriend and I were going to a gift exchange my mom was hosting. We stupidly thought it would be a good idea to burden some poor sucker with two five-cent goldfish.

The guy who "won" them was furious and announced that, unless someone took the fish off his hands he'd throw them out the car window on his way home.

We named Snart "Snart" and his fish sibling "Ass" or something. Ass died within a week. Snart stuck around for a while.

I took Snart home to my college dorm. My roommate, majoring in Biology, taught me how to properly take care of him. Got rid of his bowl and bought him a decent-sized tank and some plants. Ever since then his tank's filter has provided me white noise as I slept.

My daily routine included turning his light on for his breakfast and turning it off after his supper. With both meals I sang him a short song:

"Fishy man, time to feed my fishy man."

Every time I had to travel home from college I brought Snart along. Buckled him into my car and drove slowly for him. He seemed to enjoy eating peas every once in a while. He also seemed to like following my finger around like it was a game. Maybe he thought it was a worm or something. It was a game to me, though.

When I graduated my roommate gave me two mountain minnows to be Snart's roommates. I named them "Susan" and "Susan's Boyfriend." They all seemed to get along.

One Christmas, much to Tessa's dismay, I splurged and got Snart a 20 gallon aquarium. That aquarium was cursed, and almost killed him. First he suddenly had ick. Cured that, but then he got fin rot. Cured that and the Ick came back. I gave up on the big tank before February and moved everybody permanently back to their old home. Susan's Boyfriend did not survive the ordeal.

I once accidentally poisoned Snart with trace amounts of dish soap. I did his water changes with a plastic gallon jug and confused his for one with soap in it. I think that permanently damaged his swim bladder; he could never stay perfectly right-up after that. But he was still a lively boy.

Over this last week his health took a decline. He swam and ate less and less. He stopped following my finger. And then he was gone.

I knew I loved my little fishy man but I didn't think losing him would affect me the way it has. Frankly I've been preparing for this since the dish soap incident almost two years ago. But four years and five homes is a long ways to spend with a critter.

I've had pets come and go, fish, cats, and turtles, but Snart was my first pet who was entirely my own. I hope to never forget him.

I still haven't taken down his aquarium or turned off the filter, though it's only been a couple days. It's going to take some getting used to sleeping without hearing the teeny, tiny waterfall.

RIP Snart

Avid swimmer and beloved first pet.

Dec 2018- Apr 2023

[imprettybitchin]

Numbers 1, 7, and 23 please 🥺

Weirdly specific and unrelated asks to know someone well Status: Accepting! @jadehowlettthewolf

Putting these under a readmore because this got SUPER long

1. Chipotle order?

Confession: I've never liked Chipotle. And then after my sister's horrible time working there, I haven't wanted to try it again. When it comes to "Mexican food" (I say in quotation marks because there's so many regions that one could talk about, and I am not an expert on any of them), I'm a simple Autistic dude- cheese, meat, and a tortilla is enough to make me happy. Or even a simple quesadilla.

7. What animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

Oh man, this is so hard because I love SO MANY ANIMALS!!! I think it depends on which aquarium. If it's the Okinawa Churami Aquarium, then it's their open ocean exhibit with whale sharks. I also love seeing their giant deep ocean crab. If it's a local aquarium, then the top three are the sea cucumbers that you can pet (with supervision), the moon jellyfish, and the seahorses! Shout out to octopuses, cuttlefish, and squid as well, y'all have my heart <3 <3 <3 And of course I could never leave out any deep sea exhibits! I know I've gone way over three, but I HAVE to include turtles! They're the animal that resonates with me the most- I've been compared to them since childhood. My dream is to visit the Monterey Bay Aquarium, partly because I've heard so many good things and partly because I love their tumblr account XD My birthday sharer Betty White was a big fan, so I think that says a lot right there!

23. Do you wear jewelry?

I do! I don't to my job right now because jewelry and preschoolers (especially infants) do NOT mix. But! I love funky earrings a lot- I've got a pretty good collection going, in part thanks to my family (especially my sister, who consistently buys pairs that end up being amongst my favourites) and the changeling who appears at some of the local Renaissance fairs. I always buy a pair when I see her around! Again, some of my favorite earrings are her designs. <3 I also have some favourite necklaces, including a hand-beaded pink and blue choker than my friend's older sister gifted me one year. She was my favorite of my friend's older siblings and always so nice to me 🥺 I used to wear the same few necklaces on rotation every day as a teen, but I've gravitated towards wearing earrings more often (or both!). I have a habit of losing rings and bracelets, so I don't wear those anymore.

[cryneshina]

Feeling sad today for reasons and decided to hang out on the fringes of LunarCon ingame. Went to the Eorzean Aquarium Venue while I was there. It was so nice! It even had a little gift shop by way of mannequins with things for sale on them, something I didn’t realize you could do!

I /doted a HW!Thancred cosplayer and he doted me back and gave me a red flower corsage 😊. I wasn’t expecting it so I traded him a cheesecake in return and jumped like a doofus bc I couldn’t find the right goodbye emote on controller lmao. Anyway, that flower’s definitely going on a few fashion plates.

A few screenies I took at the aquarium under the read more.

Bonus jumpscare (for me at least lol):

[ziskandra]

I fucking love Crazy Ex-Girlfriend! I don't think I've met another fan in the wild!

What's your favorite song?

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is such a good show! (And semi-relatedly, my fifth-most written for fandom after my main three and ... HP). Choosing just one song was too difficult, so I've gone with some of my favourites.

(NB. It would be remiss of me not to note that the way I got into Crazy Ex-Girlfriend in the first place was through @daishannigans sending me a link to Oh My God I Think I Like You saying it reminded her of my Ryder sdjksd) Gettin' Bi Oh yeah, I'm lettin' my bi flag fly Not gonna hide it, not gonna lie I'm a bi kinda guy There's no reason to be shy My, oh, my, it's a fact I can't deny I'm bi, bi, bi until the day I die Where's the Bathroom Don't interrupt me, you're always with the talking I just got off a plane, give me a moment to catch my breath It's the least you can do since you lived inside me for nine months And you still haven't told me Where the hell your stupid bathroom is Oh My God I Think I Like You Are there condoms that can prevent these feelings? Is there spermicidal lubricant that can kill the fluttering in my heart? Is there an IUD that can stop the image of you and me?

Getting married on a hillside Surrounded by ducks And then we get into a rowboat I Go to the Zoo Man, when's it gonna stop? When's it gonna end? Sometimes even the zoo isn't enough So then

I go to the aquarium It's like a zoo for fishes

A Diagnosis For almost 30 years, I've known something was wrong But Mom said weakness causes bloating, so I tried to be strong Fake it till you make it, that's how I got by And when I tried to find the reason for my sadness and terror All the solutions were trial and error Take this pill, say this chant, move here for this guy But now there's no need for regret 'Cause I'm about to get A diagnosis! Don't Be a Lawyer Law school debt, daily regret Is that what you dreamed of as a kid? Or did you hope one day That you'd find a way to spend four years Working on a pharmaceutical company's Merger with another pharmaceutical company?

Anti-Depressants Are So Not A Big Deal

From the moment that we learn to walk and speak Our parents tell us, "Everyone's unique" Now, I'm not saying that advice is bad But honey, you're not special 'cause you're sad (Not special, no you're not)

[frogsandfries]

The app formerly known as Autodesk Sketchbook

Remember how I was moaning because it's been painful to use, it freezes every time I move a layer, add or duplicate a layer, or delete layers?

I've been using Sketchbook for several years now, and I'm sure the app has automatically updated bunches of times. Without thinking, I decided to manually update it.

Everything.

Is.

Gone.

There's nothing in the dev notes, there's no announcement or anything.

There is, however, a video.

From 2018.

Not from someone to whom this tragedy has happened; this YouTuber was merely reporting on a hazard he'd come across on the message boards. And the moderator was just like, oh well, suck rocks.

Sooooooooooooo..................

Yeah, I guess I knew it would end badly one day. I kept telling myself, oh man, it sure would be bad if all you had left of any of these sticker ideas or anything was the jpg previews. At the same time, could you imagine how cluttered and messy my sketchbook would've been if every. single. sketch. was it's own whole file? I'm talking dozens of themes alone, not even to mention dozens of correlating sketches-- potions and drinks and candies, Halloween sketches that I was excited about but just ran out of time for. And what about the poster ideas.

Gone. Posters, who dat?

I had a fairy basslet merman that I spent daaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyysssssssssss on. Weeks. Weeeeeeks to get all the details and the gradations and the scales. He was supposed to be part of an aquarium/terrarium sticker set and a sticker collection........... I was working on a Voltorb carousel animal. I put absolutely hooooouuuuurrrrrrrrssssssss into the wood grain of the saddle........... I had finally cracked how to do the cake crumb for another sticker set......

Like, I do not even care about all the frames for the graphic novel. Those are backed up into infinity. I do not even know what would have to go wrong to lose...... the original in the original program I'm working in, the downloads of those originals, the screen-captures, the Sketchbook files, the backups to drive, the Tumblr, and the WordPress--and I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting some things.

Un. Fucking. Believable........

I'm going to try emailing support tomorrow. Hopes and expectations are so low as to be in the negatives.

I know I haven't had time to think about stickers, never even mind thinking about posters. I really have been focused entirely on the graphic novel. It's really, really important to me. But it's not the only thing I ever wanted to do again.......I had pretty much every intention of returning to those sticker designs............

Probably by the time I do return, however long or briefly, to designing stickers, I'll definitely be excited to tackle the more stand-out ideas I had and expand from there. Maybe next time, instead of chibis, I'll do my princesses and cross-dressing princesses as full, really detailed characters, and maybe I'll really do those fruit themed mermaids justice, and really rock the terrariums with amazing sets based on the elements from inside the terrariums.

In the meantime, I'll definitely be hunting for a new app because this is fucking unacceptable........... unfortunately, so is everything else I've found in the android market >.>

[iestynnicely]

How Were You Told the Facts of Life?

Listening at the window during my Metrodeco Brighton show was a superfluity of nuns.  

  One glided up at curtain down and asked if I would sing at a convent charity evening. 

  I said, of course, sister.  

  The nun nodded.  "Bless you.  But just to correct you: not sister - but Mother Superior."

  She wondered about the spoken material in my show, in case we might include some of it on the night?  

  I said I had been asking people how they had been told the facts of life...

Bernard, 72

  My sister read about Dutch caps.  We looked at Old Masters paintings and wondered how having those funny big white hats on their heads would stop women getting pregnant.

Susan, 46 

  At school we were told, "Your body is a temple of the Holy Ghost" before being shown a public information film which made us all scream "Yuk".  Our biology teacher threatened to put on again Root Canal: The Musical. 

Raymond, 51 

  With the individual sperms themselves being so microscopic, I thought you wouldn't feel then being ejaculated and wouldn't know when to break off with the intercourse.  My physics teacher explained the emission process was pump-action and virtually impossible to ignore. 

  Which has very much proved to be the case, I've found. 

Cassie, 19

  My eleven-year-old twin sisters' head of year asked if they could be told at home about periods - definitely - and the facts of life, if possible.  Mum talked to them separately.  Milly had hysterics at the whole idea of periods and when mum tried to tell her the facts of life, stuck her fingers in her ears and sang One Direction.  Carolina said periods sounded a bit drastic.  She listened in silence to the facts of life, then said that she hadn't quite got it, so maybe when mummy and daddy next had a go at that she could watch?

Marion, 62

  My mother said the sexual act was something I should use.  I should flaunt the potential of a man getting it from me.  I should manipulate.  I should cajole.  I should go so far and no further.  I could be voluptuous.  Flagrant; bestial.  

  I said, "Yes, thank you, but what about the act itself?" 

  She said, "What do I think I am, a bloody biology teacher?"

Mikey, 29

  At fourteen, my dad warned me off booze and drugs and told me where the condoms were.  He later asked me to stop traumatising my autistic younger brother by inflating the condoms into limbless Godzillas. 

Trudy, 71

  I was told not to worry when I started periods because even the Queen and Princess Margaret had the same.  When we had whooping cough, we were taken down the livestock market for the benefit of the cows' sweat.  If ever a bull mounted a cow, we were told to look away and remember that we had to keep ourselves pure.  

  When local girls got pregnant, it was all "she doesn't know how it happened".  It made me terrified that even if I stood next to my boyfriend to kiss him goodnight by some mysterious happening I could have a baby.  I never sat next to my male cousins at tea, either - always at least place one away or diagonally opposite.  And I moved seats when a man sat next to me on the tram.  This was when trams were just plain trams.  Not like today going from East Croydon to Elmers End by enhanced tram.

Gareth, 42

  My uncle pointed to a bull and said, "Bull has cow, cow has calf." 

Larissa, 82 

  Oh, you've been talking to me lovely friend in the John Lewis Food Hall, haven't you? Has he put you onto me?  Oh.  That's...well, I did think he was my friend.  It's always been a bit up and down with him.  The other ladies in the Mansions said I was wrong to talk to him so much.  Kalia said I didn't even know his name.  I did - it was on his badge.  Eric. But I'd noticed he did seem to just be staring at me the most recent times I've been shopping.  I got so worried and asked him if the ladies - Kalia and the rest of them - were right and I shouldn't have been talking to him all those times?  About my health scares.  That particular time I was speaking to him I'd just had a particularly serious scare.  My breast implants.  My fourth husband paid for my breast implants; and he's kept the receipt.  Oh, I was anxious.  The next time I saw Eric was after I'd been for my consultation regarding my breast implants.  I decided not to bother him.  He was where he usually is, opposite the tea.  I just kept my eyes on the display. And he - oh, I was so happy - he said hello and asked how I was.  I gushed.  I couldn't help it.  Gushed about how relieved I was that he was talking to me, as I'd been so afraid that he had never wanted to, really.  He explained that at his age, nineteen, he just felt that he had so little experience in such matters as mine and could offer no advice.  I said that he should never have worried himself, the scare about my breast implants was over.  I wouldn't need to have them taken out after all - I just needed to have my nipples shifted.

  What?  So, you weren't speaking to my lovely friend Eric?  What was the question again?  Ah...well, I was a debutante and lived in the town rather than the country, so knew nothing.  If I'd known what my second husband in particular had in store for me, I'd have taken the veil.  

Thomas, 76

  We used to go to Leicestershire every summer for six weeks and there were chickens.

Sonia, 46

  My mother drew a picture of an erect penis and then of something that in no way resembled a vagina and said, "That, goes in there.  But only when the people concerned truly love each other."  I later found out that she had been asked to give me this talk by Miss Cavendish, my house mistress.  I also found out that my mother had told Miss Cavendish how when I watched cartoons I masturbated.

  "Except," Miss Cavendish said, "your mother being such the scholar didn't say that you masturbated, but talked of your fetishistic auto-erotic tendencies!"

Sian, 62

  My mother caught me masturbating when I was nine and a bit.  She dragged me in front of a mirror, made me open my mouth and pointed at my uvula.  

  "See that thing dangling there at the back of your throat?" she said. "Every time you touch yourself like you were just doing down there, it grows a bit.  And a bit more.  Until eventually it chokes you."

Sarah, 53 

  When I was about nine, I started asking mummy.  When I was fifteen, she said, "You know when we let Saltash off her lead in Stanley Park that time and that boy dog came ever so close to her and did that funny dance with her?  Well, mummies and daddies do that.  It's natural and nothing to be ashamed of and might be lovely."

Peter, 72

  My mum refused to tell me and told me to ask my nan.  I asked nan. She said, "No, sorry, Peter.  I never even told your mother or your uncles any of that.  If push came to shove we might maybe have taken them to the aquarium."

Fiona, 68

  I was told that as soon as the ring went on my finger in the church a baby would begin to grow in my belly.

Francis, 73  

  When I was fifteen my father said he had something to tell me, took me into the bathroom, went bright red and locked the door.  I thought, oh god, he's going to tell me that he's gone bankrupt or that mummy's died.  Such a relief when he started squirming his way through telling me the facts of life!  I already knew them - we had a gypsy family in the village and I was at school with one of the sons - but I wanted my father to be uncomfortable.  I only remember certain details of what he told me, such as him calling the penis your person and describing the inside of the vagina as like the nasal passages when one is suffering from a very bad cold.  Oh, and he used the full spermatozoa and said it was like live, bleached tapioca, could I imagine?  No, frankly, I couldn't. He ended his talk by saying that if I caught anything it would break my mother's heart. "And homosexuality is just silly."

  I didn't get to tell the Mother Superior any of the above.  I mentioned the subject of my spoken material, and she interrupted:  "How lovely that you will sing for us.  But about you going around and asking what you have, can I just say this:  God does not want us to overreach ourselves."