#mammoth meatball

[thepastisalreadywritten]

29 March 2023

[thenewmisadventures]

What if...Mammoth meatball arrows....

That's one way to put it yes

[debuttbutt]

If you're out there sayin' you're not curious what human meat tastes like, you're a liar.

[thethetwistedone]

The only reason they don’t want us to eat the mammoth meatball is because they don’t want us hunting them into oblivion again

[housecow]

if they ever bring mammoths back. i want to eat one

[unhingedpirates]

WHAT...?

[dakchala]

“The Woolly Mammoth”

[memory-mortis]

unironically i think this shit is proof of free will cause why the hell would you do something like that

[misterlucidream]

it's joever 9000

[bottomsdotcom-dot-com]

Bottom 5 Extinct Animals To Bring Back From the Dead To Use In a Spaghetti Bolognese

Is a Woolly Mammoth Meatball the only extinct animal that the people want to see inserted into a pasta dish that may or may not be available at the Olive Garden of the future?

Last week some the boffins in an Australian cultured meat company did something previously though to be un-doable. They made a meatball. A mammoth meatball specifically and no I don’t mean “mammoth” as in very large. I’m talking the wooly kind bay-be. That’s right, we (the royal we and not the general public) can enjoy the taste of mammoth once more!  Now, as always, there’s more to this story…

[tignya]

Could we make lab grown meat of Jesus, and therefore Christians could actually eat his body and his blood?

[redheadidiot]

They Made a Meatball from a Wooly Mammoth

[tastesoftamriel]

Greeting dear Talviel! I was wondering if you have any recommendations for werewolf friendly cuisine. A lycanthropic friend of mine suffers from an awful lot of bleed over effects particularly around food, so onions, garlic, avocados, raisins & grapes, and mushrooms are out. And while I know my compatriot would be content with a simple steak or fish, I also would like to be able to ensure they're able to enjoy some wider flavor expierences as well

I was commissioned to write a tome on werewolf cuisine some time ago. As this was privately commissioned, I can only provide excerpts, provided below.

'Werewolves are equally respected and reviled across Tamriel, and are associated with the Daedric Prince Hircine. Contrary to popular belief, older werewolves are perfectly sentient and in control upon shifting form. While clumsy paws deter shifted werewolves from activities as complex as cooking, many werewolves across Tamriel incorporate food into their transformation rituals. The reason I call them rituals is that, to some, transformation is a sacred gift from Hircine, and it is a precious time to commune with the Daedric Prince whilst enjoying the freedom of taking wolf form. 

Transforming is, rather than being a curse, a cause for celebration, and the preparation and consumption of offerings both to fellow wolf-kin as well as the Lord of the Hunt has become standard practice by proud werewolves around Tamriel. These food offerings give us a glimpse into the werewolf psyche; what food we consume is indicative of what we value and what nourishes us both physically and spiritually.'

'The following dishes are a selection of personal favourites belonging to many werewolves of every race across Tamriel. These dishes are consumed before, during, or after shape-shifting, and reflect the richness and variety of Tamrielic cuisine whilst being unique to werewolves and followers of Hircine.

Venison-and-rabbit steak tartare: With whole raw goose egg

Grilled cow’s heart and tongue: Sliced thinly, and served medium-rare with blood jus dipping sauce

Juniper hare stew: With red wine and herbs

Beef carpaccio: With capers and wild honey

Gryphon steak: With Cloudrest-style béarnaise sauce

Riverhold coconut-grilled surf and turf: With moon sugar chili dipping sauce

Guar mince gratin: With spiced scuttle and guar blood sauce

Veal saltimbocca: With Cyrodiilic cured ham and wine

Ancient Falinesti timber mammoth meatballs: With meat gravy'

[monstrous-flower]

Daily Dino Facts!!

I'm a bit late today with this one due to the fact I had no clue what to share, but this one is a little silly today.

In Jurassic Park, we read/watch about a group called "InGen" genetically creating dinosaurs by taking DNA from "Amber"(Fossilized sap) with misquotes in them and filling in the rest of the Dino DNA with Frog DNA. It seems like this can't be a possible thing to do, but we as humans have made something similar, but not quite. Back in 2023, an Australian cultured meat company was able to take Woolly Mammoth DNA and mix it with African Elephant DNA. Wanna take a hot guess what they made?

They made a meatball. A meatball of Woolly Mammoth DNA. Maybe InGen should've done this instead of endangered the human race, lol. Anyway, it was supposed to challenge people to think differently about food production and consumption, but this is just silly to me. A MAMMOTH MEAT BALL. Also, no one has tried it due to health risks. Of course, when humans find out you can make Dino/Prehistoric DNA, of course, they have to turn it into a meatball. This was so out of nowhere to me when I first heard about it, but it's still pretty cool

WAIT THIS IS ACTUALLY RATHER SILLY? I WAS NOT EXPECTING A MEATBALL BUT HEY YOU KNOW WHAT, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Like this is such a random thing as well if you were going to mix DNAs together yet it somehow seems oddly fitting. It's 100% something I did NOT expect to see whatsoever.. NOTHING prepared me. Haha thank you for sharing this with me :D I didn't reply all too late this time so now I can giggle about a mammoth meatball

[petermorwood]

Hey, since cloning technology is good enough for them to create mammoth meatballs but not the entire mammoth yet, which prehistoric animal do you feel like taking a bite of?

Given where I was born, and where @dduane and I currently live, I think some Giant Irish Elk venison would be about right.

Enough for the entire clan with plenty of leftovers and a Handy Thing To Hang Stuff From.

*****

Which leads via Memory Lane to a funny by John M. Ford, who used to post such things - along with witticisms, wise observations and poetry - on Making Light.

He produced these in the same way a bonfire produces sparks: random, unexpected, brilliant and without apparent effort - though like the graceful swan on the river, I bet there was a lot of work going on out of sight. Or maybe not. Mike was that good.

For instance, he wrote THIS just to comment on another post...

I saved everything I could find offline because You Can Never Tell about online stuff, and also because there was, for a time, doubt - happily, It Got Better - that ANY of his writing would ever be seen again.

(Dammit, just like Terry Pratchett I HATE having to refer to Mike in past tense...)

And now, the funny (original archived Here). I've been assured that This Recipe Will Work, though the assurance also came with a strong suggestion about reducing the ingredient quantities More Than Somewhat.

*****

Hot Gingered Pygmy Mammoth & Jumbo Shrimp Salad

Feeds your whole tribe.

1 pygmy mammoth, boned and cubed (about 1 ton) 1 ton jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined (many many ordinary shrimps, or one Ebirah claw) 10 buckets sesame seeds 60 pounds bean thread noodles if you are an Eastern tribe, whatever your tribe uses for noodles otherwise. If you have not yet invented the noodle, this might be a good time to do so. 1 bucket vegetable oil 1 bucket sesame oil Salt 10 buckets minced fresh ginger 6 buckets minced garlic 15 buckets dry Sherry 15 buckets rice wine vinegar 60 pounds sugar 60 buckets diced fresh mangoes 15 buckets chopped green onions Big Snorgul's helmet full of red pepper flakes 10 buckets chopped fresh cilantro, plus 5 Big Snorgul's helmets fresh cilantro, garnish 1000 large heads lettuce, cored and leaves separated (a raid on the People Who Grow Stuff may be necessary) 30 buckets thinly sliced, peeled, seeded, drained cucumbers, or just chop up the damn cucumbers and say "Fie to thee!" a lot All the chives you got

Preheat a giant turtle shell over a fumarole. A big giant turtle. Put some oil in there. Make sure no other giant turtles are around to see you do this.

On a flat rock, stirring with your Stick of the Dining God, dry cook the sesame seeds over medium heat until they are brown and smell good. Remove from the heat. Add the noodles to the turtle shell and fry fast until puffy and the color of sunrise. Remove from the oil and drain on non-itchy leaves. Throw salt. Set aside.

Sear the mammoth meat on the flat rock. Salt but don't overdo it, you remember what happened to the Chest-Clutching Tribe of the Plains. Drain.

Get a less giant turtle shell. Okay, think of this as a celebration dish for a good turtle hunt and shrimp catch. Make the vegetable oil and most of the sesame oil dance. Add the shrimp, mammoth, ginger, and garlic, and cook fast, stirring, until the shrimp are just pink and firm. Doom of Ten Thousand Wretched Canapés awaits those who overcook shrimp. Remove from the shell with pole weapons. Add the sherry and vinegar, and sing the Song of Deglazing over medium heat. Add the sugar and stir until it is one with the sauce. Cook until half the fluid is gone. Feed anybody who thinks this is waste to the giant turtles. Add the rest of the sesame oil, mangoes, green onions, and pepper flakes, and stir to warm through and wilt. No, this wilt is good. Tell the people it is the wilt of the Wilt God. You need all the mojo you can get. Remove from the heat and add the shrimp and ginger, and the cilantro. Stir to warm through and do the Highly Dramatic Ritual of Adjusting the Seasoning to Taste.

Now your tribal status is on the thin edge of the cleaver. Have everybody bring what they eat off of. You know your tribe. Put lettuce on whatever they hold out and spread the hot stuff on it. Those who have no eating platters should be used to the drill by now. Arrange cucumber slices on top in whatever symbolic pattern seems propitious to you and sprinkle with the toasted sesame seeds. If you have a really tough tribe, yell "Bam!" until they get a groove going. Add fried noodles, cilantro sprigs, and chives, and watch for any signs of people keeling over that can't be blamed on strong drink.