#mal du pain

[fuckedupevillifeanon]

me: im gonna organize my posts 😊 me organizing my posts:

[esper-atus]

is that all they can do—die? (more isat x rosencrantz & guildenstern are dead)

[starlos-soulmate]

I'm kinda crazy about Mal Du Pays

[nochilleftb3hine]

"Except for us, Vesuvius might consume / In solid fire the utmost earth and know / No pain (ignoring the cocks that crow us up / To die). This is a part of the sublime / From which we shrink. And yet, except for us, / The total past felt nothing when destroyed."

Esthetique Du Mal, Wallace Stevens

[mikmantobe]

A fountain's pulsing sobs—like this my blood measures its flowing, so it sometimes seems. I hear a gentle murmur as it streams; where the wound lies I've never understood.

Like water meadows, boulevards are flooded. Cobblestones, crisscrossed by scarlet rills, are islands; creatures come and drink their fill. Nothing in nature now remains unblooded.

I used to hope that wine could bring me ease, could lull asleep my deeply gnawing mind. I was a fool: the senses clear with wine.

I looked to Love to cure my old disease. Love led me to a thicket of IVs where bristling needles thirsted for each vein.

Charles Baudelaire // The Fountain of Blood // Les Fleurs Du Mal

[sinisterhanded]

Found my candle snuffer and my pieces of sunstone and bloodstone while unpacking some stuff earlier, so I felt obligated to light some stuff to recharge them.

[proustianlesbian]

so like this morning i suddenly had a violent stomach ache so during my break i saw that i was on my period. but when i left the bathroom, my sight got so blurry and i had no balance anymore and sounds were a bit muffled. i tried to go back to get my stuff but really couldn't walk and almost fell, girls helped me but i really couldn't see anything so i don't know who helped me. but like i had to go to the infirmary which wasn't far at all in a wheelchair (when i hate having the attention of people i don't know on me). but period pain really gave me spasms for at least an hour before i could go back home two hours later. and during my walk to my home (a bit more than 10 minutes because i walked slowly) i threw up three times because pain hurted me so much (i was alone in the street). but after a few hours of rest, i could go get my hair cut and now i kinda slay.

[microknifeyuri]

MAL DU PAYS:

"Pain of country' or just 'country pain', a poetic description of homesickness: the feeling of being unhappy because of being away from home for a long period.

art tags: @dr-fizzovich @puzzlevision @ajackofalltrades @justsomebadartistguy @xinnamonbun @slasherscrews @unrealside @wisp-like-whispers @mechspurg @picklewednesday @cookieseals @icecrean12 @endlessvoid467 @spiritmander13

[iluvylalevu]

A (Hopefully Coherent) Ramble About What Mal Du Pays Represents

So this might be a little over the place cuz I don’t really do analysis, but the battle with Mal Du Pays has really stuck with me, hear me out (and take this doodle)

So as we know, Mal Du Pays is essentially the embodiment of Siffrin’s self-hatred and intrusive thoughts, but what I find interesting is that it also represents the part of Siffrin that suffers because of it. Mal Du Pays is basically the embodiment of self-destructing thoughts; It spends the battle emotionally torturing Siffrin, but it also spends the battle silently screaming and crying.

And the name meaning “homesickness” is also a detail I find fascinating because most of the things Mal Du Pays says have little to do with the forgotten country, with the exception being Odile’s remarks about the lack of a home equating to a lack of identity. Homesickness is characterized by longing; yearning for the warmth and familiarity of home while being away from it, yet most of what Mal Du Pays says has to do with the party. To Siffrin, his party is home. While it pains them greatly that their country and entire childhood are gone, the thought of losing his new family terrifies and pains him more. He spent so long belonging nowhere, they’re terrified of losing the one place he feels like he belongs to now. He wants to be with them really badly, to the point he was subconsciously willing to hold them hostage.

Siffrin is a person made for loving. He loves strongly and wants to be loved back, but paradoxically this is also the reason he hates himself. They think it’s selfish to want that love back, they think their happiness shouldn’t come first or even come second, it shouldn’t be important at all; it’s their family who is lovable, it’s them who deserve happiness, not him, because he isn't like them, he's a nobody who belongs nowhere. Siffrin is a person who loves strongly but doesn’t lend that love to himself.

Unfortunately, this self-hatred also manifests in paranoia. Because they think themself unworthy of love they also project this onto their friends, thinking they’ll hate him if he reveals the “real” him, that they’ll turn heel as soon as they can because he’s so deplorable.

The party, in reality, loves Siffrin, but that love gets filtered through Siffrin’s self-hatred and comes back out as a mess of self-imposed conditions, “they’ll hate me if I do this” “They’ll hate me if I say that”, none of which is true, but they wholeheartedly believe it is, and it hurts him

Mal Du Pays also being unable to be harmed by Siffrin is something I feel is so important. Beating this part of himself into submission is essentially what he’s been trying to do the whole game and it doesn’t work, you can’t beat yourself up and expect that to make you feel better. Mal Du Pays, as aggressive as it is, isn’t a battle that needs to be won it’s a wound that needs to be healed

[starvingnarcissistmusic]

I should really make a non music blog so that people who like my music don’t get bombarded by random unrelated stuff but this is like tangentially related sort of so whatever

God I just love Mal Du Pays. I am always a sucker for “the enemy is you / the enemy is a manifestation of some part of you” trope in any media but MDP has by far gotta be one of the best applications of it I’ve ever seen.

I mean even just the design of it is brilliant. Obviously inverting a characters colors to get the evil / darker version isn’t anything new for this trope, but ISAT is unique in that you have quite literally been STARING AT MDP THE WHOLE GAME, every single time you die and every single time you loop back. Turning the non diegetic game over screen into a diegetic encounter is incredibly clever and immediately gives MDP that sense of crushing pressure that makes it so memorable.

Also literally any game where the game over music is later established as the motif of a character automatically just wins me over by default. It’s such an effective tool in immediately conveying just what MDP is, even before any of the dialogue starts. It’s the end of this journey. It’s the pain of a home you’ve never known. It’s an entire universe collapsing in on you at once. It’s the end. It’s the end. It’s the end.

And I think, it’s a little Fucked Up, that Siffrin’s sadness looks identical to him. Every other sadness we see in the game is very distinctly not human in appearance, incredibly abstract and inhuman pretty much all around the board. But Mal Du Pays? The sadness of our main character? Pretty much the same. Literally a color swap. I think that’s incredibly telling. A being born of Siffrin’s grief and pain and agony, and the form it takes is his own silhouette.

Thematically, it’s very On The Nose that Siffrin’s worst enemy is simply himself, but at the same time, it’s exactly what you expect. I remember getting to MDP for the first time, seeing Siffrin walk through the void and just… knowing what would come next. Of course it would be another him. For Siffrin, his hell is himself. This nightmarish half-life, devoid of a past and with nothing but a quickly collapsing future, his worst impulses and fears and agonies and pains personified, and all it looks like is his shadow. Of course, what else could be here, at his lowest of lows, but a reflection? Of course there would be nothing here but you. It’s always only ever been you. Mal Du Pays is a mirror. A mirror that hates you like you do, that loathes you like you loathe yourself. In the worst, most monstrous way possible, it tells you exactly what you’ve been telling yourself your whole journey. And so you believe it, let it sink its words into your skin and bury you in the misery. Because maybe then, maybe when you finally give in, it won’t hurt anymore.

(A cold comfort is still, however little it may be, a comfort.)

And then you’re saved. The King is defeated, your friends came back for you, you manage to come up for air again. But it’s not enough. It’s never enough. Everything is still coming to an end. You’re still going to be all alone. And so, you sink again.

Notice how Bigfrin doesn’t have a face in this panel? This is Siffrin at their most self destructive, most desperate, lower than lower than low. And in a way, I think that by quite literally looking like the Sadness they nearly created, they’re symbolically drawing a parallel there. Siffrin fully embraces what Mal Du Pays represented, to the point that their new form looks just like it. Even if they didn’t manifest MDP, they are just as horrible. After all, the mirror goes both ways. Mal Du Pays looks just like Siffrin, but that also means that Siffrin looks just like Mal Du Pays. And maybe, in Siffrin’s head, they’re one and the same. Maybe they’ve always been.

Oh god it’s 1 in the morning. I did not mean to make this that long lmao w h o o p s

uhhhhhh in summary tldr mdp is very good isat is also very good play isat

(also if you want more MDP content, I sort of wrote a whole song about it. So listen to that if you’d like. Im goin to bed)

[the-offside-rule]

Charles Leclerc (Scuderia Ferrari) - Mon Ange

Requested: yes

Prompt: literally just Charles becoming a girl dad

Warnings: dad!Charles

Charles anxiously paced the hospital corridor, his mind filled with the rhythmic roar of the engines he'd left behind at the race track. The sweet anticipation of becoming a father clashed with the lingering scent of gasoline that clung to him. "Charles, sit down. It's fine." Lorenzo said. "Mama is in with her, she'll be fine." Arthur chimed in. "I know but I can't help but be nervous." Charles mumbled. "What if I'm not good at this?" I'm always away racing. I don't want my daughter to always have to change where she is growing ip just to come and see me race. I could never-" The door opened and out walked Pascale with a beaming smile on her face. Charles stepped forward to his mother with his two brothers pouncing off their seats in anticipation. "Is she alright? Y/n I mean. Maybe my baby too. Are they alright?" Charles asked frantically. "She's fine. Y/n just didn't know if you were back from the race yet." Pascale assured him. "She hasn't had the baby yet. She's waiting for you." Charles moved past his mother and raced to Y/n's side.

Y/n's head had fallen back in exhaustion. She was far too tired to do this and she would be damned if she would do this without her daughter's dad. She flinched as she felt a familiar set of hands grab hers by her bedside. She turned to see Charles kissing her skin. "You're doing great, Mon cœur." he reassured, holding her hand tightly. "Oh thank God you're back." Y/n nearly sobbed. "They wanted me to have her without you." He smiled gently. "It's alright. I'm back now. Let's just breath. Remember how your nurse told you?" Y/n smiled through the pain, and breathed with her boyfriend. "Thank you, Charles. I'm so glad you're here with me." He chuckled. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." Leaning in, he whispered. "Our little princess is on the way."

As the contractions intensified, Y/n gripped Charles' hand tightly. "This is intense." she gasped. Charles nodded, "I can only imagine. But we're in this together." He reached for her forehead, wiping away beads of sweat. "You're incredible, love." Charles laughed weakly. "Easy for you to say." She groaned.

The midwife smiled as she looked up to the couple. "Get ready to meet your baby after this push." Y/n's grip tightened on Charles' hand. "Im so scared." She whispered. "So am I. Just hold my hand as tight as you want." He said, moving her hand back behind her head and placing a kiss on her forehead. "One last push and we have it mon cœur." Y/n took a few deep breaths before she began her final push. With one roar of pain, another's first breath was taken. The pair looked down as they lifted the baby to Y/n's chest. She lifted her hands away from Charles and held her baby closely. Charles couldn't hold back tears of joy. "We did it, Y/n. Look at our beautiful baby." He gently cradled the newborn in his. Y/n smiled, exhausted but radiant. "Our little champion." Charles kissed her forehead. "Look at her." The nurses took the baby to get her all cleaned up while Charles sat right next to Y/n caressing her face.

"Mr Leclerc?" The couple turned to face the nurse. "Would you like to cut the Umbilical cord?" Charles looked surprised. "Am I allowed?" The nurse nodded. "Father's generally do while the mother's rest a little." Charles took a deep breath, stepping forward to gaze at the delicate face of his daughter who was already squirming around. He smiled and ran a finger down her face. "Camille." He whispered, the name rolling off his tongue like a cherished melody. "You just need to snip here between the two clips and that's it." The nurse whispered. "Will it hurt her?" He asked. "Unfortunately, but only for a minute." He took a deep breath, and with one snip, the tears erupted again. "Je suis désolé mon ange, je ne voudrais jamais te faire du mal." He cooed. He sat observing the nurses carefully, already being quite protective of her and finally, he got to hold her.

Charles walked back carefully cradling the small bundle in his arms, not daring to look away. "She's beautiful." He said, sitting down on Y/n's bed. His girlfriend, beaming with exhaustion, looked at him with teary eyes. "She's perfect, Charles." As he held Camille for the first time, the weight of responsibility and love settled on his shoulders. "Hey there, little one," he cooed, a soft smile playing on his lips. "I'm your Daddy." He smiled. "Pascale is going to love her." Y/n whispered. "Are we still going with Camille." She asked. "Of course. We have this name picked out for months." He replied. Charles marveled at the tiny fingers that curled around his own.

That, as Monaco's golden sunset bathed the hospit in warm hues, Charles cradled Camille in his arms as Y/n slept soundly. "You know, sweetheart," he began, his voice tender, "I may race for a living, but you-" He paused. "You're my greatest victory." Camille, still too young to comprehend words, gurgled happily in response. Charles chuckled, a mixture of exhaustion and elation in his eyes. "Chaque course, c'est pour toi et maman. À chacun, je vous promets que mon ange."

Weeks later, Charles returned home from another race weekend, the scent of motor oil now replaced by the sweet aroma of baby powder. He opened the door, and there she was – his girlfriend, weary but smiling, holding Camille in her arms, while Charles held his newest P1 trophy for his family.

[strictpunishedhubby]

Ich freue mich Dir den von mir frisch versohlten Po meines ungezogenen, weinenden und jammernden Pantoffelhelden zu präsentieren. Vielleicht trägt diese Veröffentlichung mit dazu bei, dass er mir zukünftig pariert, nicht nur wegen der Tracht Prügel die er von mir eben erhielt, sondern auch über die Schmach sich hier öffentlich bloßzustellen zu müssen. Aus einer Laune heraus befahl ich ihm um 18 Uhr im Bett zu sein, um seine Folgsamkeit zu testen. Ob er auch so gehorsam wie ein kleiner wohlerzogener Junge ist, der nicht aufmuckt und das artig tut, was seine Mama ihm sagt. Der Schlingel hat das ins Bett gehen hinausgezögert, wohl in dem Glauben, es hätte für ihn keine Konsequenzen. Da hat er sich aber gewaltig geirrt. Wie Du siehst, hat er seine Unfolgsamkeit unangenehm zu spüren bekommen. Umgehend habe ich mit einem Kochlöffel ungefähr 10 Minuten seinen nackten Po versohlt. Er hat geschrien, geweint und heftig mit seinen Beinen gestrampelt, wie ein zehnjähriges Bübchen. Beschimpft und ermahnt habe ich ihn, während der Kochlöffel wieder und wieder auf den zunehmenden roten Po des unfolgsamen Bürschchens jedes Mal laut klatschen aufschlug. Mir gefällt es immer wieder, wenn ich sehe und höre, wie er schluchzend mit rotem Po, Windelhöschen und Schlüpfer heruntergezogen mittlerweile einsichtig darauf wartet, ins Bett gehen zu dürfen. Vorher bekommt er noch den Rohrstock zu spüren! Ich lasse mir nicht von ihm auf meiner Nase herumtanzen! Erwarte von ihm wohl zu Recht, er hat mir ohne Wenn und Aber zu gehorchen, schließlich bin ich seine Ehefrau und damit für eine Erziehung verantwortlich!

Hast Du Verständnis für meine Reaktion, begrüßt sie und bist auch der Ansicht ein Ehemann hat zu parieren und darf Anordnungen seiner Frau nicht hinterfragen? Ungezogenheiten Ungehorsamkeit, Frechheit, Faulheit und Respektlosigkeit müssen immer schmerzhafte und demütigende Folgen für solch einen Flegel haben. Scheue Dich nicht davor Dein like zusetzen, gib Deinen Kommentar ab und rebolgge! Mit jeder Zustimmung unterstützt Du mich darin meinen ungezogenen Flegel zu erziehen, sondern auch diejenigen Frauen, die über ihre Männer die Verantwortung und seine Erziehung übernehmen!

Danke für Dein Interesse!

.

I am glad to present to you the freshly spanked bottom of my naughty, crying and whining henpecked husband. May be this publication contributes to his obeying me in the future, not only because of the beating he just received from me, but also because of the shame of having to expose himself publicly here. On a whim, I ordered him to be in bed at 6 p.m. to test his obedience. Whether he is as obedient as a well-behaved little boy who doesn't rebel and does what his mother tells him. The rascal delayed going to bed, probably believing that it would have no consequences for him. But he was very wrong there. As you can see, he has had to pay the price for his disobedience. I immediately spanked his bare bottom with a wooden spoon for about 10 minutes. He was screaming, crying and kicking his legs violently like a ten-year-old schoolboy. I scolded and admonished him while the wooden spoon hit the disobedient chap's increasingly red bottom again and again, making a loud noise each time. I always like it when I see and hear him sobbing, with his red bottom, diaper pants and panties pulled down, now insightful, waiting to go to bed. Before that, he gets to feel the cane! I don’t let balance on my nose by him! I rightly expect him to obey me without question; after all, I am his wife and therefore responsible for his upbringing!

Do you understand my reaction, welcome it and are you also of the opinion that a husband has to comply and may not question his wife's orders? Naughty behavior, disobedience, impudence, laziness and disrespect must always have painful and humiliating consequences for such a lout. Don’t be afraid to like, comment and reblog! With every approval you support not only me in educating my naughty rascal, but also those women who take responsibility for their husbands and his education!

Thank you for your interest!

[deutsche-bahn]

Kurzer Monolog ausgelöst durch den Satz "the queer experience is often defined by pain" incoming.

Ich bin in vielerlei Hinsicht unfassbar repressed. Might be the loving embrace of my father's Bauernfamilie, might be my very own, very arrogant fear of judgement. Unverständnis und Ablehnung sind mir absolut nicht fremd. Vielleicht war ich in Sachen Akzeptanz ein kleines bisschen ausgehungert. Aber seitdem ich mir, was meine eigene Identität angeht, auch nur das kleinste bisschen Offenheit abverlange ertrinke ich praktisch in... ja, Akzeptanz halt. Ich weiß, dass die "du bist wirklich, wirklich nicht alleine"-Rede fast schon ein Klischee ist. Klar, schon gehört, I know. Aber dann bist du auf irgendeinem Festival, und vor dir steht ein Typ mit Vollbart den du höchstens ein, zwei Mal getroffen hast und zieht sich die Biker-Handschuhe aus weil er dir zeigen will dass er Nagellack trägt. Oder irgendwer kommt nachts auf irgendeiner Feier angekrochen und fragt ganz vorsichtig, in diesem ganz bestimmten Tonfall den ich inzwischen wittern kann wie ein fucking Trüffelschwein: "Hey, darf ich dich was fragen? Bist du eigentlich auch..."

Idk, ich will nicht rumsülzen. Ich wurde vor kurzem auf sehr, sehr dumme Art gegenüber meiner Familie mütterlicherseits geoutet. Das war was wovor ich echte Angst hatte. Bei meinem Vater bin ich mit 16 mit so absoluter Selbstverständlichkeit für was ähnliches rausgeflogen, er hat so reflexartig mit Boshaftigkeit reagiert dass ich es in keinster Weise hinterfragt habe. Ich habe es damals einfach als natürliche Reaktion hingenommen. Ofc, was will er denn sonst machen? Womit hast du überhaupt gerechnet? Und meine Familie mütterlicherseits war... ok? Ich weiß nicht, warum ich tief im inneren immer noch mit derselben Reaktion gerechnet habe. Aber sie waren einfach, ja, ok damit.

Ich glaube ich hätte bereits vor langer Zeit ahnen müssen dass alles irgendwie ok wird. Als ich 16 war, kurz nach dem Vorfall mit meinem Vater, outete sich jemand in meinem Bogensportverein. Der Typ war Mitte 20, KFZ-Mechaniker und Metalhead. Anschließend kam er zu mir (ich war, wie gesagt, 16, repressed as all hell und in keinster Weise out), und sagte, dass ich ihm somehow den Mut zum Outing gegeben hätte. Damals fand ich das primär wild, und sekundär fucking mortifying, weil holy shit how do you know tell me your secrets is it that obvious- Rückblickend interessiert es mich nicht, warum und wie er zu dem Schluss gekommen ist. Es war strange, aber es war ein kleiner Lichtblick in Sachen Offenheit.

Letzte Woche konnte ich tatsächlich darüber lachen als jemand assumed hat dass ein Freund von mir mein Partner sei. Vor ein paar Jahren hätte ich das einfach nur panisch abgestritten. Hey, es wird tatsächlich einfacher. Man findet seine Leute.

[indiestsnake]

okay. for real this time. Major In Stars and Time spoilers for act 3 and beyond. To my wonderful friends playing this masterpiece, to no further. To potential readers, buckle up. This gets long ._.

I thought this game was done with causing me symptoms of emotional exhaustion and stress overload. I was wrong.

Acts 5 and 6 of this game caused the most emotion a video game has ever inflicted on me. Like- the tightness in my chest was an emotion I can only describe as grief. Genuine grief. I felt like I needed to sob for most of act six, for multiple reasons.

Let’s start at the fuckin transition I guess!!!!!!!!!! Siffrin finally thinks they figured it out, and they haven’t. The genuine fear I felt in the cutscene with Euphrasie, the realization that… that this was it, Siffrin was simply stuck. I believed it. I could not find a way to break my suspension of disbelief. I fully, genuinely could not believe that this game had a happy ending. I did not know this game only had one ending, but even if I did, it… I don’t think it would’ve done anything.

The following monologue was the usual terrifying, the game using its informal dialogue to reap horrific subversive effects as usual. Of course it saved some tricks for this moment, like taking away control of when the dialogue progressed. Watching Siffrin snap so thoroughly, lose all his hope and cling to the thought of defeating the king alone because he doesn’t know what else to do, it… it really breaks you.

So. Now that the game has maximized my potential sympathy for Siffrin. And torn my empathetic heart to shreds. It immediately turns on a heel and makes me hate them within three conversations. The things they say to Mira, Odile, Bonnie, Isa, made me so thoroughly angry. I would not blame Odile for actually harming him. I would not blame Mira if she never spoke to him again. I would not blame Bonnie for never wanting to even think about him again. And I would not blame Isa if he no longer loved Siffrin.

I am a person who believes in redemption. In second chances. The readers of my fics know this well. But sadly, actions have to have consequences. And the actions Siffrin takes should have lost him his friends, his family, forever. Even in his circumstances. They had no reason to keep caring.

So then, reeling from the genuine sense of loss and grief and hate and despair, Siffrin nicks the orbs and goes in alone. Through about, what, 20-30 minutes of gameplay, this tension persists. The game didn’t even need to barrage me with monologues, just show those conversations of the family Siffrin left, tear apart the house and the menus and the game till it was barely recognizable. Siffrin. The Lost One, says his profile. Memory of emptiness. Rock, paper, scissors. It’s so dry. So dull. So full of despair and pain and fear and a question of what he could ever do to deserve this hell. He can’t go back. He cannot find the hope or will or anything to go through with it, to follow the script. So even if this does break the loop. What then? He is left with a world where the people he loves most despise him.

Then finally, he reaches the king.

The fight is almost dull. Simplistic. Full of pain. Siffrin does not need a shield to withstand the vision of the future. Because the world they live in cannot get any worse. Nothing scares him more than the hell he now exists in.

Then, he begins to freeze. The king slows him down. And he falls asleep.

The following sequence was just… indescribable. The sadness variant of him, Mal du Pays. French for “homesickness”. Just a simple drawing of Siffrin. The music. The dialogue. The words that come from its mouth. From the party’s mouths. Siffrin tries to say it’s fake. Isabeau’s segment convinces him it’s not.

I didn’t even realize what was happening till it flashed forward and gripped the screen by the face.

He was turning into a sadness.

The frame of his sadness gripping the screen, like many of ISAT’s frames, is something I can’t manage to forget. The cloak and the face and the way it fills the screen so suddenly and finally speaks as itself, not as Siffrin’s party. And he can’t fight it. They just can’t. The universe leads, but he is tired. And now, he can rest. If he just lets go.

In that moment, I was staring at a black screen, begging, pleading for the credits not to roll.

And then he wakes up.

Because his friends are back.

Despite what he said and did, they knew he didn’t mean it. And if he did, they didn’t care. It was clear something was wrong, and they were determined to fix it. Because they were his friends.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a game manage to convey self-hatred so convincingly that I, the player, began to hate my character in a way their friends could not. In fact, I was not aware that was a thing that could happen.

I don’t even know how to express the feelings this give me coherently. It feels like this game snatched away one of my closest moral beliefs only to clothesline me with said belief so I learned it even harder. What Siffrin did was not unforgivable. But it truly convinced me that it was.

So of that when all hope seemed truly, truly lost. It pulled the basic trope of “your friends come help when you thought you were alone”. And it nearly knocked me out of my chair.

First off, get fucked king. Second off, happy for you king.

And then the walk to Euphrasie. I was mixed with giddy glee and unending dread for this whole thing. Isa helps Sif walk while Bonnie holds their hand. Color exists again but only red and oh god the world is ending. Euphrasie is still broken oh god please no don’t send me back don’t take this from me please no no no no WAM REVERSE BOSS FIGHT

Cue that scene. I wasn’t exactly happy that my only option aside from hurting my friends was hurting myself. But it did not take long for me to start groaning in annoyance when Mira healed me.

And then. Against all odds. Siffrin breaks. As does the text formatting as the party literally claws at the text box edges to yell at him.

They fall. Hands clasped together. And he tells them his wish. That he just wants to stay with them.

Of course. That’s all he ever wanted.

And oh god, oh thank every deity, that’s all they want too.

And he finally gets a god-damn motherfucking son of a bitch eye-losing tear-jerking MOTHER FUCKING HUG

and damn it was a good one. poor guy was all squimshed. lost his hat too

the rest of the dialogue is just. amazing. I was gigging and smiling and shaking and vibrating with joy before I even finished Mirabelle’s segment. Walking to Bonnie was when I realized it felt like I wanted to cry. During Bonnie’s dialogue was when I almost did cry. Then Odile. Who I obviously asked for the long version of her theory and she was very helpful for explaining all the stuff. and then.

Isabeau.

oh. my. fucking. god.

the joy I felt when he said it. The leap I leapt, ungracefully dancing over to my bed and mouthing screams of joy. I genuinely just collapsed and writhed around like a fish out of water in happiness. You know how some folk flap their hands to stim? Yeah, imagine that but my whole body. I was so unbelievably happy. I don’t know how a game did this much to me.

The rest of the dialogue was wonderful too. Sif apologized for everything, even the optional events, even admitted the bad touch event. And of course. Isa freaked the fuck out. Because oh my god Sif kissed him. And then when Sif clarifies that it was not a good kiss. He just thinks for a moment like. “…………. Maybe u just need more practice!!! ^^” and it was at that point Siffrin and Isabeau plushies manifested in my hands and I mashed their faces together like barbie dolls

Mira doesn’t want self-spoilers and thats hilarious. Bonnie has no fucken clue what’s going on but she knows Sif was hungry sick and at school so all is well. Odile admits she linguine’s him and yes I fucking love that joke. SIF’S HOME COUNTRY MIFHT APPEAR IN THE DISTANCE????? AND ISA AND SIF ARE GOING ON A FUCKING DATE

and it was at this point I saved my progress, crossed my heart, and prayed Euphrasie would not send me back.

And she didn’t.

oh, god, this game…

welp. this post is two hours in the making. dunno if any of this is coherent but I think if you’ve played isat you get it. thank you to everyone who’s been blowing up my liveposts recently!!! it’s been cool to see the fandom giggle evilly at my suffering :3

tho my contributions to the Isat fandom do not end here. the fic is imminent. I could not stop it if I wanted too. If you couldn’t tell by the essay you just read.

thank you for reading this far if you somehow did!!!! hope you enjoyed my nonsensical babbling. I’m gonna go pass out. have a good day!!!!!!! .3

[vulpixisananimal]

[A:4 C:66.5] (Siffrin) {Mal Du Pays} <Null> |Asterion| +Rosmarinus+ [Loop] [(Saffron)] 

(Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you felt so sooooooore.)

(It was late evening, and you, Isa, and Alex just got back from visiting Ark at her watchtower. She offered to help you train, and Null really wanted to. And he went hard with it! Pushed yourself to learn every little thing you could! Unfortunately, he dipped out right as the pains and aches kicked in.)

(Luckily Isa helped you home, and by helping you meant you had to beg him not to pick you up for the whole trip. This was not helped by Alex, who had very, very quickly learned the best ways to tease you, and was quickly rising in the ranks of “who’s the best at bullying Siffrin.”)

“Tea for you!” (You open your eye, Isa’s placing a cup next to you.)

“Mmm thanks, Stardrop. . .” (You giggle softly as Isabeaus face turns a deep shade at the nickname.)

“Y-you’rewelcome-!” (He sits down next to you.) “L-love you, Sif.”

“I love you too, Isa.” (You take a sip from the cup.) “Mmmmm. . . What kinda tea?”

“An herbal tea, I strained it and everything!”

“Hehe, thought so.” (You stuck your tongue out.) “It’s really helping with my muscle strain.”

“HAHA! HAHA! YES!!”

+. . . PFFTHehehehe.+

(??? Who- Oh! Rosmarinus? I-is, that you? Taking a peek at the favor tree, there’s another person here. A bit like you, but not really, dark clothes, a loop-like star chest, and stary hair.)

+O-oh! Uh, right! We haven’t met! Yeah I’m, Rosmarinus. I showed up. . . I think a few days ago?+

(Seems about right. You take another sip, then put the tea to the side so you could lean on Isabeau. Uh, well, welcome!)

(Isa leans down and kisses your head, speaking softly.) “Oh cute little wish, what’s going on in that cheeky head of yours.”

(You smile up at him.) “Meeting the new not-guy-”

+not-girl+

“-Not-girl.” (You correct. Right, they/she, right?)

+Mmhm! It felt, more right?+

(Haha, that’s fair. Isabeau strokes your hair as he talks.) “Oooh! Right, you told me about that the other day. Hi Rosmarinus!”

+Hi Isabeau!+

“They say hi.” (You stick out your tongue.) “It looks like you have more eyepatches to make, Stardrop~”

“F-for you all? I’d do anything.” (He kisses your head again, and you blush.) “. . I-is Rose okay with that ki-”

“Yes! Isabeau.” +You roll your eye, reaching up to pull him down for another kiss, and holding it for just a second.+

(You shudder, then let him go, you felt very, very hot. S-stars. .) 

(Isabeau covers his face with a hand, before mumbling out,) “Y-you’re all, so, cute. . .”

“H-hey!” (You reply.) +You reply.+ “Y-you are too!”

“Sorry, you guys out number me. So you win!” 

“That’s not how that-”

“Hey, lovebirds.” (Alex interrupts, poking their head from around the corner.) “Do you k-”

“Odile’s out with Nille Bonnie and Mira.” (You give them a Look.) “You’ll have to wait, lovebird.”

“I wasn’t-” (She starts, before huffing and heading upstairs.)

(You couldn’t help but laugh at that. Altiare had spilled the beans a day or two ago and you were STILL riding high off of it- oh stars you forgot to ask them about the cloak again.)

+It’s alright, Asterion asked them the other day.+

(Oh thank stars. Isabeau kissed your head again.) “Someone’s gotten their teeth back!”

“Maybe~” +You sit up and stretch.+ “A taciturn I am; no longer!”

“Huh?” +Isa scoots next to you.+ “Taciturn?”

“Someone who doesn’t speak up very often.” +You say almost automatically.+ “First floor, right side, second door on the left. Openphrase is “stostorage roomoom.” there's an open dictionary on the table.”

“Oh! You remember the specific room?” +He chuckles.+ “I’m always surprised you can remember specifics like that.”

“I can do better than that, ahem.” +You wink, and speak in an exaggerated rendition of your family's voices.+ ““Taciturn, What does "taciturn" mean?” “It's someone who doesn't speak up very often, Boniface.” “Oh, like Frin, okay.” “Yes, just like Siffrin.””

“YOU REMEMBER THE WHOLE EXCHANGE?!?”

+You do a sitting bow.+ “I’m here all week! Or until someone else takes over.”

(Stars, showoff. How do you remember that?)

+I just. . . Do?+

(That’s weird. Isabeau looks at you, amazed.) “Wow that’s, amazing!”

(You smile softly at him, and rub your neck.) “W-well, actually uh, Mari remembered most of it. It was really weird actually!”

“Because you remembered something?” (He’s smiling smugly at you)

“Shut uuuup.” (You whine.)

+Speaking of, Journal!+

(Oh right! You sit up and dig around your endless pockets for your journal.) “Whaaaat day of the week is it again?”

“It’s friday!” (Isabeau hands you a pen as you find your journal.) “Has that been helping? Writing stuff down?”

“Mmhm!” (You open the journal and flip to today.) “I-it really has! It’s really hard to keep track of how fast everything goes by b-but, but I think I’ve been remembering a lot beeee. . .”

+You’re staring at the entry from the other day. Oh, I didn’t tell you?+

(NO!?!!?? You squint at the entry from the other day. It was just one line, short, and a bit messy. “VERY GOOD DAY!” - Socks.) “. . . Who, uh, who’s Socks?”

“Socks?” (Isabeau leans over your shoulder.) “. . . Oh! That explains it.”

“Explains what?” (You turn and give him a suspicious expression.) 

“W-well uh, the other day, you were, uh. . .” (He sinks down into his shoulders.) “R-really, really, really cuddly.”

“H-HUH?!?!?” (HUH?!? WHAT?!?!?)

+Hehe, alright alright g-gimmie a second. You shake your head and close your eye for a second, drift to your room, step inside. . .+

+You walk across your room, a stage, and to the rows and rows of plays. Drifting to one, you pluck it out. Ah yes, here's the memory. With a motion, it was shared. Oh don’t worry, Sif, it’s not THAT embarrassing.+

(You shake your head again, that was- WH- Memory, you, cuddling Isa, being pat, no cloak, wrapped in blankets, puh-PURRING?!?!? a-and- o-oh stARS ABOVE--)

“. . . U-uh, you, alright Sif?” (Isa asks, putting a hand on your shoulder.) 

(Your face feels so hot.) “I-I, just, R-rosmarinus just shared the m-memory a-a-and.”

“Awww.” (Hair pat.) “W-well I guess you got a kitty in there now!”

“Hhhhhhh. . .” (You rub your face, and take a deeeeep breath in, and, out.)

(Looking through the rest of the entries, there weren’t any other surprises. But there was one entry from Saffron from a few days ago. Saffron never writes in the journal, never wants to be seen, never wants to talk, even. He’s a persecutor, an embodiment of all the pain you’ve gone through. But that entry. . .)

(“PLEASE DON’T LET THEM FORGET ME.”)

(Loop refused to talk about it, but they saw it too. Whatever ‘it’ was. You and Null talked about it, that maybe Saffron finally snapped. Or maybe Loop had someone new. Or Saffron just had a nightmare.)

(The front door opened as Mira, Odile, Nille and Bonnie came in from visiting the old Wolworth keep. You smile and wave.) “Welcome home!”

“Heya Isa, Siffy!” 

“Hello!! Did the training go well?”

“Very!!” (Isabeau beams.) “Ark knows her stuff!”

“Oh good!!”

“Excuse me,” (Odile interrupts.) “Do you kn-”

“Upstairs~” (You stick your tongue out, but Odile was already heading up.) “And there she goes.”

“Off to do some very important research I imagine.” (Isabeau pulls you back into a hug.) 

“Oh very important.” (You chuckle.) “How was the keep?”

“It looked so cool!!” (Mirabelle beamed.) “Ooooh I want to go back as soon as I visit here again!!”

“Yeah it was alright.” (Nille shrugged, she had a bag over her shoulder that she took to the kitchen.)

(You were turning to ask something else before Bonnie interrupted.) “Hey.”

(You turn back.) “Yeah-?” 

(Bonnie shoved a tiny, lightless, toy crown into your hand. It was a novelty thing, meant to be pinned in your hair, if worn at all. You look at it, then back up at Bonnie.)

“. . . Still don’t wanna talk to him, but he’s. . .” (They grumbled.) “. . . He’s ok. I just, ‘snot his fault, ‘m just, being. . .”

(. . . You tilt your head, curious.) “Y-yeah?”

“YEAH!” (They yelled, and started running off to the kitchen.) “JUST GIVE HIM THE STUPID CROWN! STUPIDFACE!!”

(You watch them go, Mirabelle sits down, she and Isabeau start talking about winter clothes. You look down at the tiny crown in your hands. Cute, harmless, a copy of the original. You close your eye. . .)

(A copy of your greatest enemy, a shadow of yourself, a copy from a play, a guide, and the person they used to be. A part of you who remembered, a cat, and now, maybe, a sadness. . .)

(And. . . You.)

(Who even are you, anymore. Are you still Siffrin? You are, and you’re sure you’ve been the same Siffrin for a long time, but. . . But who were you before that? Who were you before meeting your family? Who were you before washing up on Vaugarde? You don’t even remember that anymore, you just, know that it happened.)

(. . . You flip back a few pages. A few weeks ago. An entry marked with a star. You made sure to mark important entries with a star. This entry was a rare day where you remembered something, remembered running away.)

(. . . Who was that little Siffrin who wouldn’t eat their veggies? Who took a boat and ran from home? Who memorized each star and constellation and where they were? Who slept in the day and looked to the stars at night. Who wanted to. . . . .)

(. . . You hurriedly flip back to today's date and scribble that down. Stardust, that’s what you are. What’s left, a piece of a whole.)

(Or, maybe. . . Maybe you’re just one of the many pieces that formed this protostar named Siffrin. . . Will you still be here in a few years time? Or will it be another Siffrin holding Isabeaus hand. Eating Bonnie's food. Listening to Mirabelles rambles. Going on secret trips with Odile. Will it be another Siffrin going fishing with Nille? Or another Siffrin teaching Ramos and the other Groundskeepers about the stars?)

(. . .)

(That’s a problem for future you. But for now, you close the book, and put your head in Isabeau’s lap.)

[meangirls-imagines]

Welcome to the Poly!Plasticsverse!

collab with: @yungpoetfics (my fav bubs in the world)

Regina George

@queenbgina/@callmereginald (she/her)

North Shore's Queen Bee

Soft for her girlfriends

The mom of the group

Basically a sugar mommy for her girls

Lifehack Geek

TikTok hater

Has rational fear of werewolves

Will fight a bitch

Victoria's Secret girly

Female rapper stan (Doja, Cardi, Megan, etc.)

Gryffindor

Lesbian

Gretchen Wieners

@thegretchenw/@greatgretsby (she/her/it (only if ur special))

The second mom of the group

Softest human

Loves playing with her girlfriends hair

#1 Twilight hater

Has a letterboxd account just to leave bad reviews

The level headed one usually, but will snap when she needs

Cuddly as fuck

Loves Fleur du Mal lingerie

Stubborn as Fuck

Wine drinker/expert

Loves vintage music (Elvis, Elton John, etc.)

Hufflepuff

Bisexual

Karen Shetty

@karebearz/@karensheetty (any pronouns)

Ambidextrous™️

Loves Spongebob

Plant Parent

Knows Britney Spears and Lady Gaga choreo

Kpop girly (Blackpink, BTS, etc.)

Lettering expert

Has Funko Pop collection

Squishmallow lover

Ravenclaw

Pansexual

Cady Heron

@cady_heron/@defnotcaddy (she/her)

The third mom of the group

Whispers when angry

Carries bandaids at all times

Always has snacks

Lactose Intolerant (but LOVES cheese)

Cries at Rom-Coms

LOVES hugs

Cannot handle spicy food

Sleeps with a teddy bear

Happy to be here

Friends with everyone's parents

Token vanilla of the group

Has diary (with a heart shaped lock)

Bisexual

Aaron Samuels

@aaronsammy/@atomicaaron (he/him) or (ho/mie)

1/3 of Terror Trio

Y/N's best friend

North Shore's resident Himbo

Will do anything if someone says "I dare you"

Impulsive buyer

Has one brain cell (shares it with Y/N)

Overuses 💪 emoji

Usually confused

1/2 Golden Retriever duo

Can skateboard

Uses Axe body spray

Co-founder of Stuntmares

Dreams of grabbing a teddy in a claw machine (bucket list item)

Ass man

Owns too many grey sweatpants

Kisses his homies (homiesexual)

Has never watched Harry Potter

Watches lifestyle coaches on YT

Can play the ukulele (really badly)

Loves Eminem and Harry Styles (would fuck Harry Styles)

Writes Larry Stylinson fanfics

Kissed Y/N once (regretted immediately)

Bisexual

Damian Hubbard

@hubbarddamian/@damianishubby (he/him/they)

Learned how to sew from Janis

Does drag and has a YT channel (Anita Dick)

Huge Adore Delano stan

Will fight anyone who hurts Janis

Doesn't like Rupaul as a person, but is a religious Drag Race fan

#1 Poly!Plastics fan

Has an 8 step skincare routine

Cameraman for Stuntmares

Earlybird

Lies about having curfew to go to sleep early

Ravenclaw

(Lowkey wishes he was a Slytherin bc it's the "cuntiest house"

Him and Karen watch The Bachelor

Fav movie is Dirty Dancing (did the lift with Janis)

Learned how to twerk from Y/N

Gay

Janis Imi'Ike

@janiisimiike/@imiikenough (she/they)

Secret Barbie girly(live action and animated movies)

Will go straight for Ryan Gosling

Feral chihuahua of the group

Hozier stan

HATES THE KARDASHIANS

Pain in Regina's ass

Anger Issues™️

Secretly loves Olivia Rodrigo

Mentally Ill friend

Emotional Drunk

Karaoke Queen

Tits girly

Leather Jacket lesbian

Getting piercings > therapy

Has a suit collection

Thrifter

Loves her friends

Dog person (secretly)

Quotes niche memes

Kinky af

Middle Child

Lesbian

Y/N Y/L/N (FC: Chrissy Costanza)

@thisbeyn/@reginaslefttit (she/he/they/it)

2/3 Terror Trio

2/2 Golden Retriever duo

Has matching fried egg tattoo with Aaron.

Co-Founder of Stuntmares

"Hi, I'm Y/N and welcome to Stuntmares" *jumps off roof into pool*

Cuts her own hair

Blooper Reel Queen

North Shore's resident stoner

AUDHD (autistic + ADHD)

Playlists range from Beethoven to ashnikko

"IT'S NOT A PHASE. IT'S A LIFESTYLE."

Demisexual

Plays electric guitar

Has slight speech impediment

Gremlin of the group

D&D Dungeon Master

ALWAYS falls asleep during movie night

Power Nap Addict™️

Insomniac

Monster Energy Drink Enthusiast (collects the cans)

Oddly good at Origami

Tweets everything she thinks

Has been banned from Fortnite and Roblox

Married to Gretchen on The Sims (regina and karen were sad)

Anger issues

✨Spicy✨ Latina (do not fuck with her people)

Matching rings with her gfs

Def had one night stand with Cady

Shane Oman

@shaneomann/@omantastic (he/him) or (dumb/hoe)

Loves Old School Rap (Biggie, Tupac, Snoop Dogg, etc.)

Hates Y/N at first but comes to love her like a sister.

Only person who can outsmoke Y/N.

Has a dropped truck with red LED lights under it.

Blasts music walking down the halls.

Always has the zoomies.

Orange cat friend.

Has elevator music playing in his head 24/7.

Challenged Damian to a dance off. (He lost. But he had girls simping over him)

Posts thirst traps on TikTok. (Regina's mom is his #1 follower)

Has a frying pan tattooed to match Aaron and Y/N.

Always on Stuntmares trying to create new world records.

Or eating a bunch of weird combos.

"Oman! Not again!" *proceeds to eat a marshmallow and spam sandwich*

Ralph Lauren man

Whenever the polycule argues, he's a "fuck this shit, I'm out" person.

Professional party crasher

Dine and Dash expert

Has nipple piercings (Aaron and Y/N dared him to get them)

Curses like a fucking sailor (Half of his lines on Stuntmares are just censor beeps)

Talks way too fast.

Knows Italian and Spanish (Him and Y/N talk shit in Spanish)

His ringtone for Aaron and Y/N is the remix of the Windows error sound

Loves t-shirts with offensive prints (Regina tries to make him dress normally)

Has gc with Aaron and Y/N called "Hoemies"

Would fuck Aaron

TICKLISH

Major gossip (Him and Gretchen meet once a week to talk shit)