#making up for failing to fix hiccup
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thoughtlesssadness · 20 days ago
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In the tags:
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There is so much I love and agree with here. Your takes on reciprocity especially , and how the symbolism just works so much better, the story threads would feel more tied in. The story still seems built around this original, omitted idea.
In the story we got. Hiccup keeps slipping on his prosthetic which symbolizes that he needs Toothless.
But if the mummified leg wasn’t “cut” from the story, it would also motivate Toothless to bring him back the old leg that worked. Thus one idea would serve multiple functions, adding cohesion.
If I could add. The scene where Hiccup gives Toothless the new tailfin. To me Toothless’s reaction read as a bit conveniently overdramatic?
Toothless figures out what the tail and looks at Hiccup, eyes narrowing. Hiccup takes a step forward and Toothless flinches away before booking it.
Booking it to apparently, find Hiccup’s helmet. Which, you know, is very important, it was made from his mother’s breastplate and all - but to leave so suddenly your friend thinks you might be running away from him? It’s a lot.
I’ve heard the interpretation that maybe at first Toothless really was feeling the “call of the wild” the other dragons did. He just, couldn’t find another night fury so found Hiccup’s helmet instead. I don’t like this interpretation. But it seemed a little more in line with how the scene played out.
But if instead, you could read it like Toothless realizes what Hiccup has given him, that Hiccup has ‘fixed’ him, and is so overwhelmed (and mayhaps guilty), that he needs to, immediately, instinctively, fix him right back. Right the wrong of ‘failing’ to save his leg.
Well I can just see it a lot better. It would feel more in line with Toothless.
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THE SHIT (GOLD) YOU FIND IN THE OCEAN (YOUTUBE COMMENT’S SECTION)
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itsalwaysdark · 4 months ago
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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miumura · 11 days ago
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TREATIN’ ME LIKE AN ENEMY 。 。 。 。 엔하이픈 🪽 ✦
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( 𝓢 ) ﹕ in a secret relationship with your “enemy”
──── enhypen hyung line x f ! r ╱ ⌕ est. but secret relationship, workplace / co-workers au, fluff, comfort ( ? ) ∿ w. petnames, rude co-worker + mention of blood in sunghoon’s ( nothing graphic ) wc. 1.6K+ ( 1645 ) 。 。 might need to make jey into my top 5 bc i love this song 😆
❛❛ 💬 ❞ 𝗦𝗢𝗣𝗛 > 𓂃 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗖𝗞 𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗦𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗙 ⋮ 🪽
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LEE HEESEUNG
“You’ll be working with…Lee Heeseung,” your supervisor said to you during a team meeting, unknowingly dropping a bombshell. It left your co-workers to exchange nervous glances around the room. Everyone knew you and Heeseung were practically sworn enemies, your relentless competitiveness with each other being the worst-kept secret in the office.
“So, go sit with your partner and start working on a new proposal,” your supervisor wrapped up the meeting, leaving everyone to scramble around to switch seats.
You chose to stay put, looking extremely disinterested as Heeseung was making his way over to the empty seat next to you. As you glanced at him, he seemed to wear the same look too as he sat down.
He scooted his chair closer to you, opening up his laptop. “Let’s work on this project with no hiccups, alright?” he says, his voice loud enough for others to hear.
To everyone else, you two were like oil and water—certainly not a good pair in other people’s eyes. What your co-workers didn’t know, however, was how Heeseung sneakily chose to get closer to intertwine his hands with yours under the table.
You subtly squeezed his hand back, both of you trying—and failing—to suppress the smiles threatening to creep onto your faces.
They certainly didn’t know how good of a pair you two could be.
PARK JONGSEONG
“Oh come on, you’re avoiding me even when we’re alone now?” Jay teased after trying to get your attention for the past few minutes. “It was just an act, I promise.”
You didn't even look up from your screen. “Suddenly sending me spam emails at once in front of our co-worker, and telling me I can’t delete them because one of them has important project details…” You tried to grit your teeth to hold back your frustration, but the words still slipped out. “And now I have to go through every single one of these with the same titles but blank emails? That’s a bit mean, don’t you think?”
"People were getting suspicious," he said, rolling his chair closer to you, only for you to shove it away with your leg. He just smirked, clearly amused by your reaction. "They said I’ve been too ‘normal’... or I guess, too nice to you lately."
“Well, I rather have a nice boyfriend right now, instead of him watching me go through these emails,” you huffed, your eyes still fixed on the screen. “You could at least share me another copy of it or just tell me now if it’s actually anything important.”
“I would think it’s rather important,” Jay replied, drawing out the last word in a teasing sing-song tone.
Finally, you glanced over at him, your frustration barely contained. He wore a small but sly smirk, his eyebrows slightly raised, clearly waiting to see what you’d do next.
“Are you going to tell me?” you asked, not sure whether to be more annoyed or curious.
“Shouldn’t you be getting back to those emails for that?” He said, causing you to abruptly spin around, with your eyes glued once again.
“You’re really mean,” you said, thinking of the plan to ignore him once again.
He lightly chuckled, getting up from his chair and walking behind you. His hand rested on the back of your chair, and you felt a familiar warmth when his other hand slid over yours on the mouse.
“It’s this one,” he whispered close to your ear, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. You jolted slightly, turning to face him, eyes wide in surprise as his heartwarming smile spread across his face. “Why don’t you read it?”
You cleared your throat, your fingers lingering on the mouse as you clicked on the email. But there were no project details—just a simple message:
“Let’s go to the place you’ve always wanted to go to?”
Your heart skipped a beat. You quickly turned to face Jay, lips parted in surprise as you watched his eyes light up, clearly waiting for your reaction.
“So, what do you say?” Jay crouched down to your level, holding your hand gently.
“Let’s go on a date?”
SIM JAEYUN
"Do you not know how to do a single thing?" you asked in disbelief, flipping through the “messy” weekly report Jake had written.
"Are you seriously trying to criticize my work right now?" Jake shot back, his voice sharp enough to make heads turn outside the break room.
He stepped closer, reaching for the paper in your hand. His brows furrowed, and his expression hardened, his frustration clear as he tilted his head to meet your gaze.
“Do you think you’re my bos—” Jake stopped mid-sentence, his ears perking at the sound of hurried footsteps outside. His eyes darted to the window of the door, catching a glimpse of a group of people quickly scurrying away. He walked closer, double checking to make sure everyone was out of sight.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, his serious demeanor melted in an instant. He turned back to you with a cheeky grin, a sight you started to get familiar with. Without hesitation, he crossed the room to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into a tight hug.
“Not at work, babe,” you said as you nudged him away from you, although you still wanted to be in his embrace. His pouty expression had you lightly chuckling as his hands stayed firmly on your hips.
“Are you really the same person a minute ago?” you teased, wondering how your boyfriend was able to change expressions that quick.
“Is my acting that good?” Jake asked, his grin growing even wider, his pride written all over his face.
"A little too good," you admitted with a small laugh, your fingers tracing gentle circles over his knuckles. "I wonder what you were going to say next? Do I think I'm your... what?"
“Boss,” he clarified where he had left off from, his tone softening as he added, “and we both know that’s not what you are.”
“So, what am I?”
“I think you’re my girl,” he said confidently, but then he quickly shook his head. “Scratch that—I know that you’re my girl.”
PARK SUNGHOON
“And… Y/N,” your co-worker trailed off, his tone suddenly sharp as he glanced over your report. The air in the room grew heavy, and an uneasy silence filled the space. “You’ve done better work than this.”
The sound of a pin dropping could have echoed in the room. All eyes shifted to you as heat rose to your face. Your own gaze flickered from the report in his hands to the floor, shame creeping in.
“Are you going to say anything?” he pressed.
“I’m sorry…” you managed to mumble, your voice barely audible.
“That’s it?” His tone grew harsher, and your eyes darted back to him, surprised by the sound in his voice. “Aren’t you going to reassure us that you’ll do better next time?”
“I…” You bit your lip, trying to steady yourself, but the sting from the broken skin sent a jolt through you.
“I don’t know why you’ve been so—“
“If you don’t mind letting her finish her sentence instead of acting like a jerk, that would be greatly appreciated,” Sunghoon’s voice cut him off, making everyone turn toward him.
You blinked, shocked to hear him speak up for you. The whispers started immediately—no one expected Sunghoon to defend you, not given your so-called “bad terms.”
“Instead of giving her constructive criticism, you’re just trying to tear her down,” Sunghoon continued, his voice calm but serious. He picked up a copy of one of the very reports laid out, flipping through it with sharp precision. “And honestly, I don’t think you’re in any position to talk about anyone else’s work.”
“Excuse me?” The co-worker looked both offended and startled.
“When was the last time our supervisor called your report anything more than average?”
The room filled with hushed murmurs, and you saw the co-worker’s face turn red. He fired back, “Why are you defending her? Aren’t you two supposed to hate each other?”
Sunghoon leaned back slightly, crossing his arms. “Should I just leave my morals because of some petty label people decided to put on us? I won’t stand by while you talk to her like that.”
“You two clearly have something going on—” the man started, pointing an accusatory finger at both of you, only to stop mid-sentence when Sunghoon suddenly scraped his chair against the floor and stood up.
The entire room fell silent as Sunghoon grabbed your arm, his touch firm but not forceful. Without a word, you stood as well, letting him guide you toward the door.
“If you’ll excuse us both,” Sunghoon said, his voice having an unmistakable edge, “call us back when this team can manage a respectful meeting.”
The door shut firmly behind you, muffling the chaos of the room. Sunghoon immediately turned to you, his hands gently cupping your face.
“You’re bleeding,” he murmured, his thumb brushing over your lip with tenderness. You winced slightly, and he frowned. “I’ll get you some ointment.”
“Hoon, you didn’t have to do that…” you said softly.
He shook his head, his hands still framing your face. “Come on, even if everyone thinks we’re enemies, I wasn’t going to just sit there and let someone treat my girlfriend like that. And I’m sorry I didn’t step in sooner. I didn’t think that jerk would keep going like that.”
A soft chuckle escaped your lips as you smiled up at him. “He’s always been like that. I’ve just dealt with it for so long.”
“Well, you don’t have to anymore,” Sunghoon said firmly, his hands moving to gently hold your arms. His eyes softened as he looked at you. “Regardless of what people think or what they call us, I’ll stand up for you.”
“Always?”
“Always.”
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‘💬’ ─── this was supposed to be an 0t7 work but i started blanking out 😖 but hey first hyung line work !!
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xiaowhore · 1 year ago
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intoxicating.
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premise. your boyfriend dumps you and says he doesn't love you anymore. of course, being the petty bitch that you are, you have to prove that you don't need him in your life either. and of course, intense emotions often lead to rash decisions, so you go to a bar in hopes of finding a new man.
somehow, even when all you've managed to do is scowl at anyone who approaches you and mope at the bar counter, you still manage to get one.
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Wriothesley has dealt with his fair share of unruly drunks before, but they were something more along the lines of aggressive and sloppy, not depressed and sappy.
He finds that he'd rather manhandle angry alcoholics than a person who makes a slobbering mess all over his shirt, clinging to his arm and sobbing to his sleeve. Your body starts to sway even when he supports your weight, your footsteps unstable as your attempt to walk in a straight line fails entirely.
Okay, so maybe you are sloppy after all.
Wriothesley sighs and tightens his grip on your shoulders. There's no point in losing his patience with a drunk person. He didn't even mean to pick you up, it's just that as a police officer, his sense of responsibility makes him want to fix a troublesome situation whenever he sees one. Even when he isn't on duty, he often leads disruptive drunks out of bars and restaurants, forces them out when he has to, and is always on the receiving end of owners' gratitude.
However, he has no experience dealing with drunks that just got dumped by their boyfriend and chugged away the sorrow with alcohol. You know, like the one dragging their feet as he drags their inebriated body away.
At first, he thought you were hitting on him when he felt your head lean on his shoulder in the bar. It's a common strategy, one that he's dealt with enough times to know when someone is just pretending to be drunk and trying to get his attention. He was still thinking of what to say when tears actually rolled down your cheeks and you started retelling your life story that he never asked to hear about.
Wriothesley isn't actually trying to listen, but he still gets the gist of it. It would be hard not to when you're still prattling on about it beside his ear as we speak.
“He said...” You hiccup, warm liquid seeping into his shirt as you sob into his arm. He hopes that's from your tears and not your snot. “He said he doesn't feel anything for me anymore...”
So you glammed up for tonight and tried to have fun at a bar so you could prove to yourself you didn't need him in the same way he didn't need you. He can already recite the story perfectly from the amount of times you told him. Your plan is irrational at best, and he doesn't see himself doing the same if he were ever to be in the same situation, but he can't berate you for it. Not when you looked so miserable and hopeless to the extent he didn't think it would be safe to leave you alone back at the bar.
“You can't force yourself to be happy,” Wriothesley grumbles, finally giving up on carrying you by the shoulder and instead hoists you up on his back to give you a piggyback ride. Your shoes slip off your feet, so he sighs as he crouches down to pick them up. “At times like this, you should find other ways to feel better.”
Your body jolts against him as you hiccup once again. “Like what?”
“Dunno.” He shrugs, and he can feel you gradually getting used to being carried. It takes only a bit more for you to melt against his body, your chin snugly tucked in the juncture between his neck and shoulder. “Watch movies at home in your pajamas, I guess. Treat yourself to good food. Go on a trip. You look like the type to enjoy that. Much safer than getting involved with guys when you're still emotionally unavailable.”
You sniffle. “Romance movies only remind me of him. Eating at restaurants will make me remember the dates we've gone to. And going on trips will make me wish he's there with me.”
Why do they have an argument for each point I make? And I never said anything about the movie having to be romance. “Well, you still have to go through that,” he gives up on making you think otherwise. “But one day, you'll feel a little better about it. Maybe you'll want to start dating again when you watch that romance movie, or you'll want someone else to eat with on that restaurant you once went to. And when you're on a trip, maybe you'll even think you want somebody special to go with you.”
You go quiet. For a moment, he thinks you've fallen asleep. But then your head slowly rises from his shoulder, dazed eyes peeking at him unsurely. “You really think so?”
“It won't be easy,” Wriothesley says, because nothing ever is. “But you want to say you don't love him anymore, right?” He glances at you, at the dry tear streaks on your cheeks, at what glitter remains around your eyes from all the times you've rubbed away your tears.
For the first time that night, he sees you smile. “Yeah... I want to say it without feeling hurt anymore.”
He turns away, and he feels himself smiling without meaning to. “That's good.”
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“...So do you like watching romance movies? Or eating [hometown] cuisine?”
“...No?”
“Then I'll settle for a movie you like. And I can make good food from anywhere.”
“...Are you hitting on me? Using my advice?”
“Is it working?”
Wriothesley laughs, looking at the person he's carrying on his back, who he is escorting to his apartment because you lost your keys and your roommate won't be back until tomorrow, whom he wrapped his leather jacket around because he felt you shivering against him, and who caught his eye the very moment he entered the bar.
“That's not a no.” He knows you're pouting even when he isn't looking anymore.
“Yeah,” he agrees with you, almost indulgently. “It isn't.”
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When you wake up in an unfamiliar bedroom, dressed down to your undergarments and a t-shirt you definitely do not own, and with hardly any recollection of events from the past night, you think you've made a terrible, terrible mistake.
But then you spot the hangover medicine on the bedside table, your alcohol-spilled clothes drying in the laundry room, and possibly the most gorgeous man you've ever seen cooking breakfast in the kitchen, so whatever you did last night couldn't really be that bad.
“Oh, you're awake,” he says once he notices you standing in the middle of the room, completely awestruck. You don't even know what you should be staring at; his chiseled face, his strong arms, his tight tank top that faintly traces his muscled torso, the gray sweatpants that-
Okay. You are not going to look anywhere below his waist.
“Yeah,” is all you can manage, simply glad you didn't fuck up that one syllable. You feel like you're on the verge of either saying something really stupid or making really weird strangled noises. You prefer the former, if you can help it.
“Sit.” He pulls one chair from the dining table, gesturing for you to take it. You meekly take your seat, eyes shifting everywhere but his face. “You're rather quiet today,” he muses, taking one glance at your reddening face as he fixes the plates of pancakes in front and across you.
“...How was I yesterday, then?” You ask, though you don't actually want to hear the answer.
The man hums in thought, taking his sweet time while pouring coffee over two mugs. “Troublesome,” he decides to say. “You nearly puked over my rug, after all.”
You sputter, making all kinds of apologies and promises of compensation when all of a sudden, he laughs. “Nah, I'm kidding. But this means you don't remember anything at all, right?” He sits across from you, sliding the mug to your hand.
“No...” You take a sip, but you barely register how it tastes. “I remember ordering a lot of drinks, but that's pretty much it.”
“That's a shame.” He sighs, leaning back on his chair as he sips coffee. “I suppose that means our dinner plans are void, then.”
“Absolutely not!” The words come out of your lips before your brain-to-mouth filter processes it fully, your hand slamming down the mug on the table in protest. “Uh... that is... if you're available whenever...” You get a hold of yourself and feel your cheeks burning in shame.
He doesn't try to hide the amused smirk on his face. “Sure. I'll be looking forward to your hometown cooking, then.”
Just what on earth did you do last night...?
???
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mmso-notlikethat · 25 days ago
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me thinking about drunk buck again? shocker
"You know my boyf—mm, no, my ex b’yfrienddd," Buck slurred, pointing vaguely at the man sitting beside him. The guy— some guy named Jake, or maybe Jade... something like that—just nodded like this was the most riveting conversation of his life. "Mmm yes, he is my ex now. Anyway, he was great! No, no, wait, he’s my ex, he’s awful, you see."
The dude hummed in agreement, his lips twitching upward as if he were trying not to laugh. "Seems like it," he said mildly.
Buck squinted not looking at him. "You—you don’t even know him. He’s... complicated. Like, the most annoying person on the planet but also... amazing." He let out a deep, melodramatic sigh and took another sip from his glass. "He does this thing, this... smirk thing, and it’s like—like he knows everything about me, and it drives me insane. Ugh."
"That does sound annoying," the man—Jake said, tilting his head in mock sympathy.
"Right?!" Buck exclaimed, slamming his glass down on the counter. "But then he’d do something stupidly nice like, I don’t know, make me breakfast when I didn’t even ask or fix my stupid shelf that broke because I’m bad at, uh, shelves. And suddenly, I’m like, 'Wow, maybe I’ll just marry this guy.' But noooooo. He had to go and—ugh—be right. About everything."
Jake didn’t say anything, just quirked an eyebrow as Buck kept rambling.
"And now he’s my ex. You heard that part, right? My ex!” Buck hiccuped, slapping his hand over his mouth. "Oops. Sorry. Excuse me."
"Forgiven," Jake said, his tone unreadable. He sipped his drink like this was just another Tuesday.
Buck frowned at him, his drunk brain scrambling for something clever to say. He failed. "You’re very chill, you know that? Like... annoyingly chill. You remind me of him. My ex. I don’t like it. Or maybe I do. I don’t know. Ughhh."
“Must’ve been quite the guy."
Buck sighed, the weight of the world settling onto his shoulders. "He was. He... he really was."
For a moment, neither of them said anything. The silence felt heavy, like it was trying to tell Buck something he couldn’t quite hear. Then he hiccuped again, breaking the spell.
"You’re cool, though," Buck muttered, waving his glass at the guy before tipping it back. "Not like him. But also... kinda like him. Weird."
Jake just smiled faintly, not saying a word.
Buck leaned heavily on the counter, staring at his empty glass like it was the source of all his problems. "You don’t get it. He’s the worst. Like... so smug. Always thinking he knows everything. And you know what? He doesn’t! He doesn’t know me! He doesn’t—hiccup—know what I want. No one does!" He jabbed his finger at the man beside him for emphasis.
Jake, still calm as ever, took a sip of his drink and nodded. "Sounds like a real piece of work."
Buck whipped his head around so fast he nearly fell off the stool. "Whoa, hey! You don’t get to say that," he snapped, his words slurring but his glare surprisingly sharp.
Jake raised an eyebrow, clearly unfazed. "Why not? You just said it."
"Yeah, but—" Buck flailed his hands dramatically, nearly knocking his glass off the counter. "I can say it. I dated him. You? You don’t even know him! You’re just some... some random guy!"
"Fair point," Jake said with a shrug, but there was the faintest twitch of amusement at the corner of his mouth.
Buck narrowed his eyes, his very drunk brain working overtime to keep up. "He’s not that bad, okay? I mean, yeah, he’s annoying and bossy and—" He paused, gesturing vaguely as if the words were just out of reach. "And stubborn. But he’s also, like... thoughtful and—" His voice softened, almost wistful. "Kind. He cared. About me. About everyone. Even when he didn’t say it out loud."
Jake hummed, his tone unreadable. "Doesn’t sound so awful."
"Exactly!" Buck said, throwing his hands up. "That’s what I’m saying! He’s... ugh, he’s the worst best person I’ve ever met. And now he’s gone. And it’s my fault." His voice cracked at the end, and he quickly ducked his head, pretending to study the wood grain of the bar.
"Maybe it’s not your fault," Jake offered, his voice quieter now.
Buck laughed bitterly. "Oh, it is. I mean, I wanted him to stay. I asked him to stay. But he was all, like, 'You’re still figuring yourself out,' and 'I’m your first, not your last.' Like, what does that even mean?!"
Jake’s expression flickered—something Buck couldn’t quite name, not in his current state. "Maybe he thought he was doing the right thing."
"Yeah, well, it wasn’t!" Buck snapped, slamming his hand down on the counter. "It wasn’t the right thing for me. I didn’t want right, I wanted him. And now I’m here, talking to you, and he’s... I don’t even know where he is."
Jake didn’t respond right away, just sat there, his drink untouched. After a moment, he said, "Maybe he’s closer than you think."
Buck frowned, squinting like the words were a puzzle he couldn’t solve. But before he could ask what that was supposed to mean, another hiccup cut him off, and he groaned, burying his face in his hands.
"You’re weird," he mumbled through his fingers. "Why are you even listening to me?"
Jake chuckled softly, the sound warm and familiar in a way that tugged at something deep in Buck’s chest. "I guess I’m just a sucker for a good story."
"He is!" Buck said, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "He’s—ugh. He’s just this guy, you know? But not just a guy. He’s... he’s smart, and thoughtful, and really good at all the boring, practical stuff I suck at. Like, he can fix anything. He once rebuilt an engine in his garage for fun! Who does that?!" Buck paused, hiccupping before continuing. "And he has this way of looking at you like you’re the most important thing in the world, even when you’re being a complete idiot. Especially when you’re being a complete idiot. And then, just when you think you’ve got him figured out, he’ll say something so... so him—and it’s exactly what you needed to hear, even if you didn’t want to."
His voice cracked, and he dropped his gaze to his empty glass. "He made me feel like... like maybe I was worth sticking around for, you know? But then he left anyway. So what does that say about me?"
Buck groaned, dragging his hands down his face. "I don’t even know why I’m talking about him. He’s gone, and he probably doesn’t think about me at all anymore."
"Maybe he does," Jake said, his voice calm but carrying a weight Buck couldn’t quite process in his state.
Buck snorted, his head wobbling as he tried to look at Jake. "Nah. He’s too busy being perfect somewhere else. Fixing things, smirking at someone else, probably making them breakfast now." His voice cracked again, and he slumped forward, leaning heavily on the counter. "It’s not fair. I don’t want to miss him, but I do. All the time. Every damn day."
Jake stayed quiet for a moment, swirling the remnants of his drink. "Sounds like you really loved him."
Buck blinked blearily at Jake. "Yeah. Yeah, I did. Still do. But it doesn’t matter. He left."
"Maybe he thought you deserved better," Jake murmured, his tone so soft Buck almost missed it.
"Better?" Buck slurred, laughing bitterly. "There’s no better. He was better. He was it. And I messed it up."
Jake leaned back, his eyes studying Buck for a long moment. "Maybe he thought he was the one who messed it up."
Buck frowned at that, the words bouncing around in his drunken mind without fully landing. He opened his mouth to respond, but a yawn caught him off guard, and his head lolled forward slightly.
"Okay," Jake said, standing up and patting Buck’s shoulder. "Let’s get you home before you pass out here."
"I’m not—" Buck started to protest, but his words dissolved into another yawn. "Fine. Whatever. But only ’cause you’re so... so good at listening, Jake."
Jake chuckled, sliding Buck’s arm around his shoulders as he helped him off the stool. "Sure, that’s why."
The trip to the loft was a blur for Buck, his head bobbing as he mumbled fragments of sentences. "He used to—hiccup—used to cook pancakes on Sundays," he muttered as they walked. "Never liked syrup, though. Just butter. Who doesn’t like syrup?"
Jake made a noncommittal noise, holding Buck steady as they reached the loft.
When they reached the loft, Buck fumbled with his keys before Jake gently took them from him and unlocked the door. Inside, Buck stumbled forward, nearly tripping over his own feet.
"Whoa, easy there," Jake said, catching him with an arm around his waist. "We’re not done yet. Bed’s upstairs, right?"
Buck blinked at him, bleary-eyed, before nodding vaguely in the direction of the stairs. "Yeah... stairs. Stupid stairs. Who needs stairs anyway? I should just sleep right here." He sagged slightly, leaning heavily into Jake.
Jake sighed, adjusting Buck’s arm over his shoulders. "Come on, you’re almost there."
They moved toward the stairs, Buck dragging his feet and muttering incomprehensibly. Jake tightened his hold, practically lifting him as they climbed. "You’re heavier than you look, you know that?" Jake muttered under his breath.
"’M not heavy," Buck slurred, his head lolling against Jake’s shoulder. "You’re just... weak. Bet you’ve never carried someone out of a fire or... or something heroic like that."
Jake smirked faintly, his voice low and even. "You’d be surprised."
By the time they reached the top, Buck was practically draped over Jake, who maneuvered him carefully toward the bed. He eased Buck down onto the mattress, keeping a hand on his shoulder to steady him as Buck flopped back with a groan.
"Finally," Buck mumbled, eyes half-closed. "Hate those stairs. Hate... everything."
Jake crouched down to untie Buck’s shoes, his movements steady and practiced, as though this wasn’t the first time he’d done this. "Don’t worry, I’ve got it from here," he said softly.
Buck blinked down at him, his vision swimming. "You’re... nice," he mumbled. "Too nice. You don’t even... you don’t even know me." He hiccupped, his head lolling to one side. "I mean, you’re here, so you’re not that bad. But… you’re not him."
Jake’s hand stilled for a fraction of a second before he resumed tugging off Buck’s shoes.
"He’d probably—hiccup—he’d probably say I’m too much. Like I push too hard, or I don’t stop to think. But I just… I just try, you know? Maybe I try too much..." Buck’s voice cracked, and he let out a breathy laugh. "And now look. No one’s here."
Jake paused, his jaw tightening as he set the shoes neatly by the bed. He glanced up briefly, something flickering across his face, but Buck didn’t notice.
Jake’s hands moved to unbutton Buck’s jeans, and Buck let out a tired laugh. "I’m not... I’m not that kinda guy, Jake."
Jake snorted softly. "Relax. You’re safe."
He eased the jeans off and set them aside, then reached for Buck’s shirt. Buck swatted weakly at him but barely had the energy to protest. "You’re... too good at this. Bet you’re a pro at babysitting drunk idiots."
"Something like that," Jake murmured, pulling the blanket up and tucking it snugly around Buck’s shoulders. For a moment, his hand lingered on the edge of the blanket, his eyes scanning Buck’s face as if committing him to memory.
Buck stirred, his eyes fluttering half-open. "I miss him," he mumbled, his voice barely audible. His hand flailed clumsily for a second before it landed on Jake’s arm. "Tell him... I miss him."
Jake froze, his jaw tightening as he looked down at Buck. Then he covered Buck’s hand with his own, his thumb brushing against his knuckles for a brief moment. "I’ll tell him," he said softly, even though Buck was already slipping into sleep.
Jake placed a water bottle and some pills on the bedside table, his movements quiet and deliberate. He lingered there for a beat, his gaze heavy with something unspoken.
Leaning down, Jake brushed his fingers lightly through Buck’s curls, his voice low and warm as he whispered, "I don’t even look like a Jake, Evan."
Buck stirred slightly, a faint furrow in his brow, but his eyes stayed closed. Jake Tommy pulled back, hesitating for just a moment before slipping out, leaving the loft in silence.
Part2
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lilacrwses · 3 months ago
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▸ their s/o is drunk and doesn't recognize 'em
summary: Partying all night, dancing and definitely drinking made you drunk enough to not recognize your sweet boyfriend.
ft: iwaizumi, bokuto
note: i hope you guys like this, it’s been a while
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Iwaizumi
Iwa just came back from a training camp overseas, so he was really tired and just want to cuddle with you.
Might he be forgetting that you were partying out with your friends so he expects that you won't be coming home early?
He did quite everything while waiting for you, cleaning the apartment-which by the way he realized that it was already clean enough on its own.
He took a bath, and would probably get in trouble as he used your favorite bath bomb without permission, but nothing a kiss can't fix.
Well, what he had to do next was just wait for you. The moment his phone lights up and recognizes his ringtone only for your contact- he rushes swiftly and answered it only to be welcomed by your friends voice?
"Iwaizumi-chan, hello! Can you pick up Y/n at XXX-XXX-XXX. She's pretty tipsy at the momeng. Don't rush though! we'll be with her till you're here." He gets his car keys and locks the apartment door before going out. "I'll be there in 5." He quickly presses the red button which ends the call.
Numerous thoughts were clouding his brain right now. Mainly focused on you and how tipsy are you.
In just a couple of minutes, his phone had told him to turn and then he'll arrive at his destination. No doubt that you were right there sitting out at one of the chairs of the club with your friends.
To say that you were cute doing nothing makes him realize how badly he's down for you.
"Iwaizumi-chan! Thank god you're here. She's been telling us how much she misses you, please take care of her from her." Iwa nods and gave a wave to your friends and then focuses his vision on your body.
He walked closer to your figure and helped you stand, but he was just pushed away. Dumbfounded he cooed you and tried again.
"If you lay your hand on me one. more. time, I promise my boyfriend will beat you into a pulp." he smirks and leans in closer to your face.
"Oh yeah? I bet you must love your boyfriend to reject someone like me huh." He plays along with the drunken act. "I love him so much that it hurts." He panics when tears came out of his eyes.
"Hey baby, what's wrong?" Iwaizumi cups your cheeks and wiped the stray tears away. You looked into his eyes and you noticed a familiar warm loving gaze that you'd been missing for a while.
"Are you my hajime? B-but he wasn’t supposed to come home till….tonight" You hiccup.
“You’re my haji!”
"Yes, baby. Now, will you let me touch you now?" You nodded and jumped into his arms right now.
"Ooof- Careful right there." He didn't hear anything but your cute little snores, he might be tired right now but having that little talk with you just gave him a bit-- a lot of energy in return.
Bokuto
This big ball of fluff was with his teammates for an after-party game.
You, on the other hand, are with your friends and are bar hopping. Expectantly Bokuto wandered his eyes searching for a familiar person, but none to be found.
He just thought that you are still probably having fun with your friends.
He reassured himself that a little bit over twelve is still early so here he is patiently waiting for you (even though there's a slight chance you'll never come) while still enjoying his time with his very own friends.
From the perspective of his teammates, it was odd to see Bokuto sitting in one place and not moving so much. Is it because of his drink?
The loud music of the bar made communication a tad difficult. However, Bokuto did not fail to hear his phone ring with the help of the ringing vibration, of course.
His face did lit up when he saw your nickname on his screen and almost took no time to answer the phone.
"My pretty baby! I miss you so much, What took you so long to call, I was waiting." Bokuto is now in his baby voice pouting, much to his joy it was actually your friend who called him and told him you guys were sitting from a distance to where he and his teammates were.
"Oh, thanks! I'll be right there in a minute." It might seem that Bokuto was drinking beer the whole time but it was actually just an orange juice. He didn't plan on getting drunk before he could pick you up.
Akaashi had told him it was not a gentlemanly move to be drunk and be taken care of his s/o. But to be completely honest, Akaashi just told him that so he could spare you handling Bokuto's weakness #12.
He finally saw where you were when he noticed one of your friends waved their hands to get Bokuto's attention. "Bokuto-kun, we're really sorry. She got pretty enthusiastic and got carried away." your friend scratched her nape.
"It's ok, I'll take her from here. Thanks for dropping by though."
Your friends bid goodbyes to Bokuto before leaving. Your boyfriend helped you stand up, you were blinking your eyes trying to see the person that's in front of you. The moment Bokuto landed his hands to your waist you pushed him enough to collide with another person.
Bokuto apologized repeatedly before directing his attention to you again. His thoughts start to bother him. Couldn't you recognize him? How many drinks did you take?
But He tried again, "Y/n baby, it's Kou. You're boyfriend." It seemed that his puppy eyes were enough for you to recognize him.
"Kou?" He nodded
"Yes! Yes, baby!"
You immediately jumped your way to Bokuto, and kissed him."You're my Kou!" He laughed catching you in his arms. "Now let's get you home." He kisses your lips before dropping a text to his team's group chat.
Akaashi was right! He should be taking care of you when you're drunk. Only because he gets to see this new side of you.
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foreingersgod · 9 months ago
Text
You’re Everything . CC
pairing: caitlin clark x reader
synopsis: caitlin clark is the best basketball player in the media right now and you can’t help but feel like you’re no good for her.
y’all i don’t even write (so sorry if this is actual ass), but the cc content on here is almost non existent lol. so i hope you all enjoy :)
my masterlist: here
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college is extremely hard, and unfortunately for you, it has pushed you to your breaking point.
unlike your girlfriend, caitlin, you’ve never been the athletic type. typically confined to your textbooks and essays rather than on the court or out in the field. Your studies were incredibly important to you and you were GOOD at school, but by no means were you as talented as the caitlin clark.
you’re so proud of caitlin, truly. she’s come some far in her athletic career. she deserves all the praise and all of the awards and all of the support. but regardless all the praise and admiration you showered her with, you couldn’t help but feel like you weren’t enough.
books littered the covers of your bed, chemistry worksheets and math textbooks seemed to stack up to the ceiling. your fingers dug into your scalp, lightly pulling at your hair. you had midterms coming up and you were starting to panic. last semester, midterms and finals flew by like a breeze and you were able to hold a very high gpa, but unfortunately this semester you’re crashing and burning. you were falling behind on assignments, forgetting due dates, and failing exams no matter how hard you studied. caitlin constantly reassured you that you were doing amazing regardless of how different your grades were last semester, but it’s really easy to say that when you’re passing every class and making history in basketball at the same time.
tears threatened to spill from your eyes and it felt like you were going to faint from all this stress. as you were sloppily scribbling down equations and flipping through flash cards, you failed to hear constant knocking and the lock of your front door turning. heavy footsteps echoed up to your room and you knew all too well who they belonged to. trying to get everything in order before your girlfriend reached your room, you quickly wiped your tears away and fixed your hair.
“YN i’ve been texting you like crazy, did you not-” she began. “hey hey hey what’s the matter, baby”
caitlin immediately seemed panicked at your distressed state, rushing over to you and sitting next to you on the bed. her arms instinctively wrapped around you as you nuzzled your head into her neck to hide your tears.
“it’s nothing, i swear, im just stressed for my chem exam” you lied. “you caught me at a bad time i guess” you attempted laugh it off, pulling a fake smile into the side of neck.
she pulled away from you, hands moving from you shoulders to your face, forcing you to look at her. she seemed to be looking at you for hours, studying the pain on your face and the dullness of your eyes.
“baby this is obviously not ‘nothing’…i’ve never seen you like this. over anything”
it didn’t take long for you to start tearing up again. “caitlin, i…i really don’t know…”
you can’t even get the words out. it felt like your sentences were building up in your throat and suffocating you. a small whimper managed to work its way out of you before you broke down in tears. again, caitlin was all over you, confused and hurt because she doesn’t know how to help you.
“YN please, please talk to me i need to know what’s going on, you’re scaring me” she said, pushing loose stands of hair out of your face and wiping your tears with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.
“i just-” you began, hiccuping from your sobs “i just feel like a failure!”
and that started it all. before caitlin could even protest such as absurd statement, all of your feelings and insecurities came spewing out.
“caitlin i’m extremely proud of you, please know that. i’ve never been so astonished by someone’s talent than yours” you sounded hysteric, you were sure. “but i cant help but feel like i’m a failure compared to all the amazing things you’ve done. you’ve broken records and changed people’s lives…you’ve won the awards and the adoring fans…and again, i can’t even begin with how proud of you i am…but looking back at all the things i’ve done…i’m nothing. for fucks sake i can’t even pass a god damn chemistry exam or a math quiz without losing my fucking mind. i don’t leave the house cause i’m too busy studying and i don’t have time to hang out with our friends or hang out with your team. i can barely pass my classes this semester and i just feel like such a burnout.”
it felt like it all came out in seconds. “you deserve so much better than someone like me. i’m nothing”
the silence that filled the room was heavy and haunting. you worked up enough courage to finally look at caitlin, scared that she’d realized you were right and confirm your worst fears. but to your surprise, she was crying too.
“you’re everything” her voice cracked, barely managing to get the words out. “baby you’re everything.”
“what?”
“is this how you’ve really felt? like you’re nothing?” you avoided her gaze “YN i couldn’t even begin to tell you how amazed i am by you. forget me, look at you!”
“cait.”
“no, i’m serious. you work your ass off every single day. you study you do your homework you go to work, and you still find the time to shower me with so much love and attention. you pour your soul into everything that you do and of course it’s hard, but please do not sit here and tell me i deserve more than you because i need you more than i need air, YN”
it felt like you had no more tears to shed, overwhelmed with feelings. so instead you took your girlfriends face into your hands, forcing your lips upon hers. you could feel her hands meander to the back of your head, toying with the hairs at the nape of your neck as she pulled you into a much deeper kiss.
eventually pulling away for air, you rest your forehead against hers while she whispers gentle “i love you”s . you finally feel relieved for the first time in a while.
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jungaji · 2 months ago
Text
calla ❀˖°
boyfriend!jisung x composer gn!reader ♡
genre: comfort
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calla, someone said that your time will be over soon
jisung watches silently as you flip through your music sheets again, your eyes distant, and fingers trembling. the weight of the notes scribbled across the pages being too much to bear, too heavy to carry.
"i can't do this anymore, sung," you murmur, voice brittle and fragile, much like a withering flower.
he doesn't respond immediately, letting your words hang in the quiet studio. his heart aches as he takes in the sight of your broken form—hair a chaotic mess, your favorite sweater wrinkled from days of wear, and dark shadows under your eyes from sleepless nights and tears that never seemed to end.
he's never seen you like this before, and it scares him.
it hurts him.
but calla, you can always grow back, oh
"my love," he says softly, hands reaching up to soothe your head, gently combing through your hair, smoothing the unruly strands that stick out.
you lean into his touch instinctively, finding comfort in the warmth of his hands, but your eyes remain fixed on the crumpled sheets in your lap. the music notes and lyrics blurring together, a cruel reminder of everything you think you've failed at.
he kneels beside you, gaze never leaving your fragile form and gently pries the crumpled pages from your hands.
you make a weak attempt to snatch them back, but jisung's grip is firm as his eyes meet yours—soft and filled with an unwavering warmth that cracks open the walls you've built around yourself.
"these notes aren't failures," he starts, his tone steady. "you're not a failure."
"but what if i am?" you whisper, voice cracking as tears start to well up in your eyes again.
"what if i'll never be able to write a song again?"
at your words, jisung's heart clenches, the weight of your pain pressing down on him. it frustrates him to see you like this—struggling and unsure, as if the spark that once burned so brightly in your heart has been put out.
if you don't have enough sunlight,
you used to live for composing. music called out to you in a way no one could understand. it was the love of your life—something jisung used to complain about, how you seemed to love your music more than you loved him.
but despite his endless complaints, jisung never resented it. he always supported you, loved seeing your passion for music, even if it meant he had to lose you to the studio sometimes.
gently, he pulls you into his arms, cradling you against his chest as his voice softens, "don't say that," he murmurs against your hair. "you have so much to give, my love. you don't have to see it all right now. you're not meant to have everything figured out at once."
hearing his words, you bury your face in his chest, trembling as your emotions flood through you. the ache in your chest feels endless, and the doubts eat away at you like an unforgiving tide.
he pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, cupping your face in his hands. "i'm here," he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "c'mon, we'll get through this. one note at a time."
i'll blow the clouds away, calla
jisung keeps you close, his steady warmth grounding you, and only when your sobs quiet into soft hiccups does he speaks again, his voice low and soothing. "do you trust me?"
you hesitate for awhile, thoughts still clouded with uncertainty, but you eventually nod against him.
he smiles softly, brushing away the tear-streaked hair from your face before reaching for the forgotten music sheets, picking up a pen and scribbling something in big block letters across the page.
curious, you sneak a glance at the page, reading the sentence: MARK'S HAD BAD DAYS TOO.
you blink a few times, re-reading the sentence and processing the absurdity, before bursting out into a fit of giggles. jisung joins, both your laughters filling the studio and pulling you back from the edge of your despair.
"what?!" he teases, grin widening as he watches you giggle. "it's true! mark's had bad days and he still wrote, like, 200 songs."
"you and your admiration for mark..." you tease, wiping the last of your tears away.
he watches you adoringly, gaze soft with nothing but affection in his eyes. "but i admire you the most. you know that right?" the sincerity in his voice settling deep in your heart, almost like a soft embrace that promises everything will be okay.
"i know," you whisper, squeezing his hand softly. "thank you for being here, sung."
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authors note: dedicated to anybody who has been struggling/overwhelmed with their work! we can get through this together, ily <3 also happy belated birthday to my lele pie (i will write for you soon... one day...)
taglist ♡: @ldh0000 @haechyuckan
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joekeeryswife · 1 year ago
Note
plz could you write something about mase looking after you when you’ve had a rough day with the baby!!
stress - m.m
a/n: hello angel! thank you for your request. omg i love it so much, kinda changed it a little if that’s okay! (dad! imagines own my heart!!!!). idk how to feel about this one so lmk what you guys think! anyways, let’s get on with the imagine, enjoy reading 🫶
mason mount taglist: @noturbabe22 @luvvtrent @peterparkerbae
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four weeks, it had only been four weeks since you’d had your baby and you were already feeling like you’d failed her.
you knew becoming a mum would be difficult but you didn’t realise just how hard it was going to be. it was like everything you did was wrong.
Mason had gone back to work only a week after Margot was born and that was one of the worst thing to ever happen. you felt like you didn’t have support even though he would get up with her during the night and as soon as he got back from work he would take over looking after her. what was funny was whenever Mason got back from football she was never crying, it was like she could sense he was coming home.
Margot loved Mason. whenever he had her she hardly cried, she’d watch his face with such concentration and coo at him all the time. but when she was with you, she’d scream and cry no matter what you did.
you felt useless.
you felt like the worst mum in the entire world, not understanding what was wrong with her as she cried just hurt your heart. you just wanted to be in the ‘baby bubble’ everyone spoke about.
you wanted to feel like your friends did when they had their kids. they were always smiling, always happy when they were with their babies who hardly cried when they were with them, it was like you were broken.
today was like no other. it started out okay, Margot was actually happy this morning when you woke up, Mason had given her a bath and put her in the cutest outfit but then as soon as he said his goodbyes to the two of you and he drove out of the driveway, all hell broke loose.
she was just sobbing and it hurt you to hear those cries. “oh Margot, what’s the matter my angel. please don’t cry sweetheart. are you hungry? is that what it is?”
you quickly balanced her with one arm as you tried to lift up your pyjama top so you could breastfeed her but every time you tried to get her to latch she would turn her head away and sob louder.
you had realised that Margot would hardly ever latch when you tried to breastfeed her. it was very rare that she would allow you to breast feed her so you had decided to start pumping your milk and give it to her in a bottle instead and most of the time she would drink it from the bottle.
“how about we get you a bottle instead hmm? would that make you feel better?” you knew she wouldn’t reply to you but it was nice to speak to her. you got up from the sofa after fixing your top and warmed up the milk.
her sobs grew louder as you rocked her. waiting for the microwave to ‘ding’ felt like hours. “i know sweet girl, not long now” you poured the milk once it was warm enough into the bottle and went to sit back down on the sofa. you tried a few times before she finally started drinking the milk, her sobs died down but her eyes were still filled with tears and the tear stains on her cheeks broke your heart.
she was hiccuping slightly as she drank her milk but her eyes were fluttering masa img she was trying her best to not fall asleep. “you rest angel, mummy isn’t going anywhere. and i’m sorry i can’t understand you like your dad does, i promise i’m trying my best”
with that, her eyes closed and it was finally silent in the house. you just hoped today would be a lot better than the rest.
-♡-
Mason was back home a little later than expected tonight, he had been asked to stay back to speak to ten Hag which he forgot to tell you about but he knew you had it all okay at home. you always had Margot in a good-ish mood when he would come home and it was always nice to come home to a quiet house after training or a football match. he would hear shouting all day and coming home was just perfect.
you didn’t want Mason to know you were struggling, to you it felt like the worst thing i’m the world. you were meant to be a good mum as soon as you gave birth but you just felt like all you did was struggle. you had no idea what you were doing and you didn’t want Mason to be disappointed in you.
however, tonight Margot would not stop crying. after her bottle this morning she napped for maybe 30 minutes before her sobs started again and that continued for the entire day. you didn’t know what to do and you felt like you had failed as a mother. you had no idea what was wrong with her and you hated that you couldn’t understand what she was crying for. you felt like she hated you.
as Mason entered the house he could hear the wails coming from Margot, he had never ever heard her sound like this before and or worried him. he could hear you, speaking to her softly over her cries, you sounded just as upset as her. “i’m so sorry angel, i don’t understand why you’re crying. i’ve fed you, cuddled you, changed you, i don’t know what else i can do. i’m sorry i’m failing you”
his heart broke. he walked into the living room and saw you holding Margot in your chest with tears streaming down your face. you looked so defeated and he hated it. “hey, what’s going on? are you okay?” he questioned as he slowly walked towards you.
you hadn’t heard the front door close so hearing him made you jump. you didn’t want him ti see you like this so you quickly wiped your eyes and showed him your best convincing smile. “oh yeah i’m fine, she’s just, i don’t know what’s the matter. i think she just might be tired” you lied, of course you weren’t okay.
“do you want me to take her?” he held is arms out so he could take Margo from you so you quickly passed her to him and he gently started rocking her which no i’m surprise stopped her cries. you felt your heart break. was it really that easy?
your eyes filled with tears, jealousy and frustration taking over your body as you saw how easy it was for him to calm her down. “look, go upstairs and have a shower, i’ll take care of Margot and you just have a break okay?we can talk after if you want to” he watched your shoulders drop slightly and your chin quiver as you tried to hold in your tears, something was definitely wrong and he was going to figure out what.
once he heard the bathroom door close he sat down on the sofa with Margot. he watched her huge brown eyes dart across his face. “what’s happened angel? you giving mama a hard time?” she cooed at him, a small smile on her face which looked exactly like yours. “you can’t give mama a hard time honey, mama’s with you all day” she squealed, obviously not understanding him.
“i’m sure you tired, if you’ve been crying like that all day i’m surprised you’re up right now” he decided to grab a bottle and try get her to nap so he could speak to you. he had never seen you like that before.
he warmed up the bottle and went upstairs to her nursery and sat in the rocking chair. he started feeding Margot and immediately her eyes started to close, he honestly wished that he was able to stay off work with you when Margot was first born. he had only gotten a week off work before he had to go back and he felt awful but ten Hag wouldn’t give him anymore time off.
once Margot finished her bottle he turned on the white noise machine and put her down into her crib. he quickly exited her bedroom to leave her to nap and went to your shared bedroom. he wanted to talk to you, you barely speak to each other now and he wanted to spend time with you.
after waiting for a while you finally came out the bathroom in new pyjamas and your hair was wrapped in a towel. your eyes were red, it was obvious you had been crying. “hey” you said, noticing him on the bed. he opened his arms and waited for you to sit on the bed next to him so he could hug you.
you quickly got onto the bed and cuddled into him. “we haven’t cuddled in ages, we haven’t spoke in ages. i want to know what’s bothering you sweetheart. i’ve never seen you look so upset” he kissed your forehead.
“i just, i feel like i’m not a good mum. like everyday all she does as soon as you leave is scream and cry and i’m trying my best to understand what’s wrong with her and i’m struggling. i’m struggling a lot” you felt your eyes well up with new tears. Mason felt his heart break. he was annoyed with himself for not noticing sooner.
“it feels like she hates me. and i just feel stupid because as soon as she’s with you, you calm her down. she even smiles at you. i’m feeling so lonely and i feel like a terrible mum.” your tears started flowing down your cheeks. you were quietly sobbing as Mason pulled you in closer and ran his hand up and down your back.
“i’m so sorry sweetheart, i really am. i’m sorry i haven’t been here to support you, i’m sorry you’ve had to do it all on your own. it’s not fair at all. and i’m sorry you think that you’re a bad mum because you aren’t. you are the most incredible mum” he heard your sniffles, guilt eating him alive.
“if you weren’t a good mum you wouldn’t do half the shit you do now. she doesn’t hate you angel, she loves you. you don’t know what she tells me when i come home” he joked which made you giggle through tears.
“i know it is tough right now, but i promise it’ll get better.” you looked up at him with uncertainty. “it will, stop giving me that look” he gave you a sympathetic smile. he hated that you were feeling this way, he wanted you to enjoy being a mum.
“you stay here for a bit, i need to go do something. don’t come downstairs until i say alright? just watch some tv and i’ll be back” he gave you a few pecks before he left you in the bedroom, confusion filling your body. but nevertheless you grabbed the remote and turned on the tv, trying to finally relax.
-♡-
it had been over an hour since Mason asked you to stay upstairs and all you could hear downstairs was Mason’s footsteps. you had absolutely no idea what he was doing and you were nervous to even go back downstairs.
“y/n sweetheart you can come down now” you heard him shout up to you so you quickly turned off the tv and made your way downstairs. whilst you were upstairs Mason did come to get Margot who had awoken from her nap about thirty minutes into him leaving you upstairs.
you had gone to get her out of her nursery but Mason quickly shooed you away back to the bedroom so he could take care of her. you were grateful he went to help Margot, he knew how stressed you were and he was trying to make you feel better so he took Margot downstairs with him.
you walked down the stairs and into the living room and saw blankets and pillows covering the sofa with your favourite food on the coffee table and your favourite movie ready to play on the tv. Mason was holding a now very aware Margot who actually reached out for you.
“i know it’s not much but i thought maybe we could spend time together for once?” Mason handed Margot over to you and kissed you passionately. “i’d love to” you kissed him one more time before you both made your way to get under the covers on the sofa.
Mason pulled you into his hold and kissed your forehead. “i know this doesn’t make up for what’s been happening these past few weeks but i do want you to know me and Margot appreciate everything you do” you felt a smile form on your face as he spoke, he had a way with words which always made you feel special.
“i have also spoken to ten Hag and told him that i’m gonna take a few weeks time off to look after you both. i don’t want you to feel alone, ever, because i am here for you” you looked up at him, it was the first time he’d seen you smile in ages.
“i know you are, you didn’t need to take a few weeks off. will he not get angry at you?” you kissed his cheek and he shook his head. “i didn’t get to take the time of when she was first born so i i don’t care if he’s mad. i have a family to look after” he lent down to kiss you again.
you didn’t know why you were so anxious to tell Mason how you were feeling, you knew he would help you and you appreciated him. “thank you mase, i love you” he smiled at you “i love you more”.
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emeritusemeritus · 2 months ago
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Hey Little Train 1 [Fred Weasley X Reader]
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Series Masterlist
Title: Hey Little Train 1/5 (5 part mini series)
Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader {Established Relationship/ Engaged}
Timeline: Set immediately after the war up to 4 years later.
Summary: The memoirs of a broken woman after the death of her beloved.
Warnings: SAD FIC. This one will hurt. Mentions of death, grief, depression, suidical thoughts. Suicide. Loss and pain, a lot of crying. Smut, sexual references, graphic sex. Dreams. Female reader.
Word count: 1.5k
Heavily inspired by Nick Cave & the bad seeds’ O Children’, the unofficial song of Harry Potter.
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My dear, my darling one
The cleaners are coming, one by one
You don't even want to let them start
They are knocking now upon your door
They measure the room, they know the score
They're mopping up the butcher's floor
Of your broken little hearts
"Y/n?"
The sound of your name being called barely registered with you as you sat slumped on the floor, almost entirely hunched over and completely frozen, just as you had been since the moment you arrived in that very spot.
You were in sheer agony, mental torment and emotional anguish, or at least you would be if you weren't so painfully shocked. Frozen in time without a semblance of knowledge towards the day or the hour and completely void of any other thought except for what was in front of you.
Your knees were locked, the pain from the collision onto the hard stone floor and the resulting time knelt against the unforgiving stone was excruciating and yet you could hardly feel it. Bruises on your battered knees were already forming underneath your dirty covered ripped jeans, all just another reminder that you were still alive; that your body could still bruise and feel pain.
Someone calls out your name again but you do not respond, unable to look away nor gather any effort to reply. Every unit of energy in your body was already being used for the simple basics of proceeding to live, to breathe and to keep your battered body from fading away, though you wished for nothing more in that moment. The only thing you were conscious of was keeping your hand exactly where it was, keeping a hard grip around the only thing that kept you from crying out with sheer agonising screams to convey your devastation.
You were trapped in an endless cycle of torment, forced to look upon the harrowing sight that would inevitably haunt you forever and yet completely unable to look away, hardly even blinking to make sure that it could never slip away, that you'd never be apart.
Fred's lifeless body was cold now, the warmth of his hand in yours fading long ago as you remained in pieces by his side.
He was paler than you'd ever seen him, his skin turning quickly to a near translucent porcelain as his colour drained to an ashy, cool tone that you hardly recognised- just another reminder of the unbearable reality you were facing. Even his vibrant red hair that had once been an icon of his character and an integral piece of his look was dulling, no longer acting like a bacon of light in a sea of dullness. He was covered in dust, his clothes a rugged mess and a single shoelace untied but you couldn't even bring yourself to fix it for him, after all what use was it now.
Everyone had taken their turns to mourn beside his body, with you and George staying fixed to his side, the two closest people to him unable to let him go. Your knees screamed at you to move but you denied their call of desperation, welcoming the purgatory as punishment for failing to keep your beloved safe.
"We have to leave him," George says sometime later from beside you, his voice broken from the sobbing, hardly more than a hiccuped whisper coming out.
"I can't," you cried, tears freshly falling onto the material of Fred's jumper as you dealt with the prospect of having to leave him alone, for the final time. You couldn't bare it, you'd die here if you had to, at least there would be a solace in that. You couldn't let go of his hand, couldn't do it to Fred. He needed to know he was loved, that he was cared for even in death. He'd never been alone, not even in utero and now he faced his last journey alone and you faced the entirety of your life just as alone.
George managed to gently peel you away, to turn your hunched body away from Fred's corpse and you finally saw that the great hall around you was near empty. Filch and a group of others were holding brooms, with other staff members enchanting brooms and mops to wash away the evidence of the war. How long had you been there? It didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore.
"We have to go," George said, almost pleading with you, though you knew that he wanted to stay just as much, completely unable to fathom a life without Fred. Something in his eyes told you that he was right, that it was time and if you couldn't do it for Fred, you'd do it for George.
With one last look at the still body of the man you had adored for half of your life, you slowly bent down and placed a final kiss in the centre of his forehead. The skin was cold and hard beneath your lips, a stark contrast to the head you had so eagerly kissed that morning, so full of life. Your tears streamed down your face in anguish, body protesting to your mind but you had to do this. Looking at George, you turned to walk away on shaking legs and became supported by George, both of you clinging on to one another as if you were only able to hold it together because of the other person. Once you passed the large wooden doors to the Great Hall, losing the last sight of Fred, you erupted into violent sobs that had you wheezing and barely able to breathe, with George producing the most painful sounding cries that ripped your heart open anew.
You sat in complete silence, still unable to move except for the tremors in your hands and the shaking of your limbs. The tears had stopped, though you couldn't be sure as you no longer felt the skin of your face, anaesthetised by the swelling of your eyes due to the onslaught of sobs and near constant tears. You felt numb, in a sun-space between life and death, a limbo state of existence somewhere between reality and delusion. Denial had set in and without Fred's body in front of you, it was unfathomable to think that he was really gone. Except, you could still feel his stiff, cold hand in yours, the contrast of life and death meeting together in a sickening meeting. Your breathing was shallow, hardly taking enough air to survive but you couldn't bring yourself to take deeper breaths, locked in your own body with no way to help. You felt nausous, sickened to your core each time you remembered Fred, your mind taunting you with the fleeting ability to forget the events of the day even momentarily before the reality set in once again like a cruel joke.
Your mug had been replaced and refilled twice with hot tea that had gone cold in your hands, again like a twisted irony of the day. You paid it no mind, not caring about drinking or nourishing yourself. The tea would not make you feel better, or more awake or take any semblance of pain away from your shattered soul. It wouldn't warm you or ease anything within your tortured heart.
Your half-lidded, tired eyes remained fixed upon the same spot on the floor, regardless of the movement or voices of the people around you. It was all just background static with voices unrecognisable and seemingly unfamiliar though you'd known each one for more than a decade.
Climbing into the makeshift bed alone for the first night in years had been a sorrowful affair, feeling never more alone than you had in that moment. Your body felt like it truly had been through a war that day but you mind still felt worse. The dark room, the cold, single bed; it was all just an unironic reminder of your new miserable life which you'd traipse through alone. You'd refused to stay at the Burrow with everyone else, knowing that you'd be inconsolable at facing it and so opted to spend the night at Grimmauld place. You chose a room you'd never stayed in before, ensuring you had no memory of Fred here and settled down into the cold and miserable room that you deserved.
You prayed to any God that would listen that at the very least you would have pleasant dreams. The main wish of course was that you'd wake up any second and that his whole day had been a frightful nightmare that would take you a day or so to brush off but you'd wake up wrapped in Fred's arms, warm and content. Failing that, you wished you didn't wake up at all.
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angelsleepinggurl · 5 months ago
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𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐦𝐞
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.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲
your day seems to be filled with more than one hiccup. firstly, the infamous oikawa seems to be all up on you as you try to use the vending machine, heatedly deciding to just skip lunch today, there are only a couple hours till your school hours end anyway. you hastily walk off, failing to politely shake off the longer-legged boy, who seems persistent in feeding you, by handing you food items in his bag. "i know, pocky will do just the trick, or dorayaki-" you stop walking and place your hand up in a stop sign in his direction.
"oikawa, i appreciate the gesture but i'm not that hungry." you hold eye contact with him, making sure he understands before he nods, standing still as you walk away. who the hell even has so many snacks? you take a deep breath, trying to refocus your mind.
classes seem to go on as usual. with you scribbling down notes, with every additional mind link your brain can make and every word the teacher says. it's almost as if a bubble falls around you, so deep in thought that no external information penetrates. a bubble which reduces to your personal bubble after class ends. no one dares to disturb you when you're in class, they know better. well almost everyone. kuroo leans over from behind you, whispering for his pencil which seems to have rolled over next to your next, far from his reach.
you try ignoring him, snapping yourself back into your zone, hoping he'll solve the problem himself, but to no avail, he continues pestering you with psts and heys. you slowly turn around, mentally affirming to keep your composure.
"yes." you answer once fully facing him, batting your eyelashes in false kindness. his face is fixed with a smug expression with irritates you further.
"i think my pencil is by your desk." he explains, leaning over his desk further and using his eyes to point in the direction of the pencil.
how annoying! if he knew he had butter fingers then he should've tried harder with gripping his pencil when near you. he should've left the pencil there and faced the consequences of clumsiness. he should've not even brought his pencil case to begin with, if he can't be trusted to hold onto his own stationary.
reluctantly, you lean over, your ass slightly lifting from your chair as your fingers graze the wooden pencil before firmly grabbing it. you turn around to hand it to him, your smile clearly forced yet his smirk never leaves his face.
stupid jerk.
you are not having a good day and it's evident when you bust the door of the Student Council Open causing all previous conversations to die down. Even your sway is angry as you make your way to your seat at the head of the table. Knowing what's best, everyone stays silent, as anything that could happen would cause you to rant endlessly about its incompetence or idiocy. 4 PM and two other members filter in, scurrying to their seats, but you're faster. "Stop." you call out and they freeze. Your gaze on them is hard as you slowly lift your head from staring at the wooden desk in front of you to them. "What time is it?"
your second in command chirps in, "4PM."
"student council meetings start at 4, they don't mean arrive at 4."
the two bow their heads in shame, not daring to look up at you, they understand that you're having one of those days. "I'm so sorry miss." the two apologise in unison. you brush them off with a warning, making it clear that this shouldn't happen again. the meeting rolls as usual, helping to calm you down. being the last to leave the meeting, you check your schedule for upcoming conversations with the headmaster, check for school events and tidy the place. it's sad to say that this after-school hobby is the only thing in your life you have control of, only thing that is consistent. strapping your satchel around you, you step out of the room, locking the door behind you. only to bump into the wall behind you.
wait.
you turn and look up to see you bumped into wakatoshi ushijima, the starled expression on his face matches yours and he apologises, which you brush off.
lockers are shut tight, classrooms locked, and the usual chatter and laughter are replaced by a profound silence. the sunlight filters through the windows, casting long shadows on the polished floors.
you walk down the corridor, your footsteps echoing with each step. the usual hustle and bustle is replaced by a calm stillness, almost serene. you pass by the gym, its doors slightly ajar, revealing the empty bleachers and abandoned equipment. the only sound is the repetitive smacking of balls hitting the surface of the court. curiously, you peer your head inside. kita shinsuke seems to be deep in thought with his volleyball drills. you don't care enough to tell him to leave, deciding to leave that with the actual teachers of the school.
outside, the school grounds are bathed in the golden light of late afternoon. the playground is empty, swings swaying gently in the breeze. the sports fields lie still, devoid of the usual energetic activities. the silence is only broken by the distant sound of birds and the rustle of leaves.
twisting the front door open, you take a moment to gather yourself before stepping in. there your mother is, sitting on the floor crossed-legged, a tea in her hands and a usual stern look on her face. "good afternoon, maam." you greet, bowing and keeping yourself down. your mother doesn't reply, instead, she sips her tea again, before placing it on the small tea plate she's holding, the clink of them going together filling the room instead.
"the afternoon can't be so good if you haven't received a consistent set of perfect grades all around. always something wrong with you. slipping in one subject or the other, i did not know i gave birth to a complete fool."
the words hurt like they usually do, but now you don't have remarks to bite back. it's all old news really. "i'm sorry mother." you apologise, your head still down in the bow. she scoffs, silently, but you can still hear, you know your mother's antics inside and out.
"go child. go try make something out of yourself. if you even can."
you bow again before making your way upstairs, careful to not annoy her.
.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅.⋅˚₊‧ 🜲
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(please send a dm or comment on my the pinned blog to join.)
𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫…
𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫…
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bangchansgirlsblog · 1 year ago
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Stutter
Warning: hurt/fluff, stutter, insecurity, bullying
Pairing: Chan x reader
Summary: You have a stutter and you’re getting better.
Enjoy! 😆
-🩷
**
"I-I w-would like to-to say thank y-you to the s-stay that stuck w-with us t-through all t-the ups and downs when...when t-things we're hard. T-this is for all of us-of you," I manage to say into the mic. I was clearly nervous, this was the first time speaking in public and an award show was honestly very intimidating.
Everyone cheers and Chan gives his last speech before we all go backstage to prepare for our performance.
"You did so well out there Y/nie!" Changbin boasts. He wraps his hands around me in a hug while everyone else is talking or getting their makeup fixed.
"Y-you really think s-so?" I smile and look up at him. Happy that I was able to make him proud. They had been trying to get me to talk a lot more and be involved in interviews, radio stations or shoes in general and this was the first big step.
"Yes I do! I'm so proud of you!" He exclaims and carries me in a spin. I laugh and yelp trying to fidget out of his grip knowing he wouldn’t let go unless I wrestled him.
Chan walks over to the both of us. A big smile caused by me and Changbin. Once Changbin releases me and gets distracted by Han throwing a ball at him. Chan gives me a kiss before spinning me around like in the movies. I let out a small squeal and giggle at this.
"I'm happy with what you did out there and I’m so proud baby."
"W-well when you asked s-so nicely I had too. Did-did I s-stutter a lot?" I ask him tilting my head. Slightly nervous that no one understood what I was saying. He shakes his head no.
"Nope, you did amazing and do you know what you get?" I look at him confused. Wondering.
"A treat later tonight," he whispers in my ear causing me to turn red and flustered. Butterflies flattering in my stomach.
"O-oh I-I...umph...C-Chan!" I exclaim and smack him. He was towering over me and smirking. He lets out a small chuckle, amused Ofcourse.
“What? You know you-“
"We are on in 10!" A producer yells. I feel myself jump a little due to the loud voice. A normal thing that happens whenever loud sounds came out of no where.
"Hey…are the hiccups still really bad?" He frowns at me but I shake my head no.
“Stop calling them hiccups Chan?” I playfully shove him. "O-only when it's really loud and there's a lot of people b-but now it's n-not as bad." I explain to him while playing with the hand that was in mine.
"Okay my love, just remember whenever you feel overwhelmed tell me okay?" He slightly relaxes.
"Yes I-I will Channie," I smile and give him another kiss.
The venue was really packed and they were a lot of people around us but we seemed to always be in our own little world, drowning all the sounds.
His face smooth and shiny. His hair neatly put together, his ear peace dangling around his neck and eyeshadow put perfectly round his eyes. Looking at him and admiring his beauty.
I let out a gasp suddenly when I remember something that I had to tell him. I was excited and very much filled with so much joy, I had to tell him right there and then.
"C-Chan I-I got us t-tickets t-to a-a s-show a-at- ugh..." I sigh frustrated failing to speak a normal thing when I was extremely happy.
He frowns then rubs my knuckles,
"Hey it's okay take your time and breathe no rush, just breathe." His face turns into a worried look. Making me feel guilty but I nod and take a breath.
"I-I got us t-tickets for a s-how I-in new y-York when we-we got there!" He smile widens.
"You see there you go. Now this show you speak of…. Am I allowed to know what it is? Or is it a suprise? Hm pretty girl?"
"S-suprise! But y-you'll know soon." I smile and he kisses my forehead for the 100th time that day.
"I'm excited I can't wait!" He beams.
"Alright people! Let's go! Let's go!" The producer yells at all of us and we walk towards the stage.
"Good luck everyone!" Chan says,
"G-good luck Chan!" I say back before we make our way on stage hearing thousands of people screaming.
When we go on stage we perform a few songs. Ofcourse I didn't stutter because whenever I did sing it didn't come but it only happened when I was really upset or just talking in general.
The permformace was 15 minutes long until we could get offstage.
Ofcourse everyone said thank you to the dancers and crew then we made it backstage when we changed into more comfy clothes so we could go home.
"I think that today we should celebrate Y/n! For getting on stage and giving her speech!" Han yells excitedly in the car.
"O-oh n-no no n-no, we-we shouldn't!" I cover my face shyly and Chan chuckles.
"We should babe, come on! I'm so proud of you!"
"O-okay but n-no drinking," I wave at all of them and they laugh.
"Okay no drinking!" Seungmin says,
We go to a restaurant near by and the waiter comes over. The place was empty, thanks to Changbin, he was able to find a quiet place.
We all hated loud places after concerts or shows because our bodies are very much drained.
She was blonde and really pretty. Her eyes lit up when she saw everyone.
"Oh my God!" She squeals, "you guys are straykids!" She screams. Quite literally. I see Chan move uncomfortably. The boys too.
"Yeah we are, um can you do us a favor. Don't tell anyone we're here." He asks politely.
"Ofcourse! Ofcourse! Can I please have an autograph?"
"Maybe after we're done with dinner yeah?" Leeknow steps in.
"Thank you so much! And oh my God Y/n! I saw you on tv today! This is the first time we've seen you talking in public! We didn't know you stutter! That’s new…" She says almost in a mocky way.
I look up at her and give her a nervous smile. Trying to forget her tone.
"Y-yeah I-i have a stutter-"
"How come you sing so well tho? Aren't you like damaged good in the entertainment industry?"
"Excuse me?" Chan steps in obviously offended on my behalf.
"Can you do your job instead of making fun of her?" I.N also steps in looking pissed as well.
"I-it's o-okay g-guys. A-and n-no i-I'm...." I trail away frustrated and huffing at the fact that my body and brain can’t even defend myself without going all out of control.
"Can I speak to your manger?" Chan says harshly causing the girl to take a step back.
"O-oh um yes sure!" She leaves looking terrified while everyone looks at me.
"I-it's o-okay g-guys I-its n-normal!" I smile half heartedly and they give me a worried look. Chan’s hand wrapping around me, pulling me closer to his side.
"Ignore her please. She's a bitch for that." Felix says trying to comfort me.
I just nod my head and look down at my hands that were playing with Chan's.
"I love you," he whispers. "We'll talk about it later yeah?" I just nod. Refusing to Speak now.
The manager comes over and they all complain about the lady and Ofcourse since we were idols they fired her straightaway and gave us a new waiter plus our meal was free.
She took our orders one my one and when she came to me she was so nice.
"Hey ma'am, what would you like to eat?" She smiles.
I look over at Chan who just tells her my order and she walks away.
The night consisted everyone having fun and laughing but I couldn't help but feel insecure. So I kept quiet. Letting out a giggle here and there but refusing to speak more than 4 lines.
"Should we head home?" Chan asks everyone and we all agree and get into the cars that were parked outside.
**
When we get to the dorms we all say our good nights and I head to our room. I try and avoid Chan because I just knew he would want to talk about the restaurant incident.
I quickly get into the shower and when I’m out he’s laying on the bed scrolling through his phone. His black sweatpants on and no shirt.
I make my way to my vanity and sit down.
"Hey baby, you good?" Chan asks sitting up our bed.
I just nod and continue removing my makeup. I hear a sigh and instantly feel guilty again.
"Talk to me please, I know you're upset." His voice is low and slow.
"I-I...n-no," I quickly shut down when I see the stuttering getting worse.
"Baby, come here." He says softly. I walk over to him and sit by his side refusing to fight the fact that I need him. I need his touch.
His hands wrap around my waist and I sit between his legs.
"Remember what I told you? That if anyone mentions anything about your stuttering..?"
"T-that I s-should tell them I-it’s cause I-I'm s-special in m-my own way." I softly say looking up at him.
"They are many people looking up at you, many kids that have the same stutter that love you and look at you as a role model. Show them that you are. Show them that if you can do it they can do."
His touch is soft as he carreses my cheek.
"B-but I-I c-Chan I-it's...ugh!" I exclaim frustrated again.
"Take your time my love, breathe and concentrate,"
"I hate it," I softly say and he frowns wiping the tears that fell.
"You shouldn't because at the end of the day it's the way you react to the situation that matters right?"
"Yeah," I sigh,
"So if you decided not to go for that audition because you had a stutter or if you gave up halfway through because of it, would you be here right now?"
"N-no"
"Then a bunch of nobodies shouldn’t affect you okay?"
He was right, I shouldn’t allow a few people to bring me down. I was already learning to be confident.
"Y-yeah, t-thank you Channie. For l-loving me the way I am,"
"You don't need to thank me baby and remember whenever you struggle saying things,"
"Just breathe and concentrate,"
I smile when he kisses my cheek.
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bamboozledbird · 4 months ago
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𝕚𝕗 𝕚 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 pt.2 // stiles stilinski imagine
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Characters: Stiles Stilinski, fem!reader, Theo Raeken, Lydia Martin Pairing(s): Stiles x you, Theo x you (no use of y/n) Word Count: 5.3k Tags: a fix-it for y'all bc i'm a pushover Warnings: Underage drinking (at least in america rip, they're all 19+), creepy guys in bars, emetophobia, new jersey slander (please forgive me jerseyans)
Request: for all you people i made cry with part 1. this is my love letter to you. A/N: you don't necessarily need to read part 1 to understand, but this is a follow-up to if i could lose you i would.
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The night starts well enough. Theo’s hand is a warm, steadying weight against your lower back, and his cologne cuts through the vague funky smell clouding the bar. Lydia chose it; somehow, no matter the city, she always knows about the coolest, underground spots that seem to only circulate within an elite circle of twentysomethings. It really isn’t all that shocking when you think about it as you nurse your bitter cocktail; every single person who catches a glimpse of Lydia immediately craves her attention. Unfortunately for them, Lydia always takes you as her date, though lately she’s been ending your nights out at a stranger's apartment more often than not. She’s never said it, but you know it’s because, ever since the disastrous end to her start-of-summer bash, Theo's made himself a permanent third-wheel on girls’ night. He’s never said it, but you know he started tagging along because you’ve been distant since Stiles poured into your bedroom and pressed on all the bruises his fingertips left behind when he left you. You really thought you’d washed them all away with 3,000 miles, 3 months, and 3 weeks of the scrape of Theo’s teeth. 
You sip on your fourth drink of the evening, sitting on a barstool because your legs are too wobbly to stand on, and Theo watches you watch Lydia spin a girl with a radiant smile and glitter tinsel in her hair. 
“You wanna dance?” he hums in your ear. You can barely hear him over the bass and the buzz of too much tequila. 
You nibble on your straw and hiccup around it, “Don’t think I can.”
Theo makes a move to grab the drink in your hand, and you bend backwards to keep it out of his reach. “Come on,” he frowns, “you can’t even stand.”
“So?” you purse your lips petulantly and punctuate your point with a loud suck, draining the last few drops of your lime margarita through a few chunks of leftover ice.
Theo looks tired as he studies your face. “What the hell is going on with you? I see you every day, and I still don’t have a fucking clue.” 
You’re too drunk to pretend you don’t know what he’s talking about. Hiccupping again, your nose scrunches, “I’m just…I wanna go home.” Theo pats his jacket pockets for his keys, and you shake your head a few too many times. “No, not there.” Your stomach turns when you finally realize what you actually mean. You want to hitch a ride on the melting ice in your glass and dissolve into knotted hair on Sunday mornings, freckled skin washed with the shifting sun, and pouted pink lips, cursing the snooze button and your cold toes. You don’t say that. You’re drunk, not cruel. “I wanna go back to Stanford. I hate it here.”
Theo’s eyes are shadowed in the dim light of the club, but they’re calculating. “You really think that’s far enough?” 
Blinking slowly, your mind spins with the drinks in your stomach as you try and fail to think of something clever. “Feels far,” you mumble, and Theo doesn’t look reassured. It’s hard for you to differentiate pain from anger through watery eyes and the brume of tequila, but whatever emotion is darkening Theo’s expression, you think it’s justified. He’s smart enough to know what you mean. 
 His face goes blank as he searches for his keys again, “I think that’s enough fun for tonight.”
You shake your head and wriggle down further into the cradle of your hips, “I wanna stay.”
Theo exhales through his nose and runs a hand over his face, “I thought you wanted to go home.”
Your tongue is thick as you struggle for words, sniffling as they tease you from the fraying edges of consciousness. “Not there.” You know you sound like a baby, recycling the handful of words you can remember, and you know that tears will only make it worse, but they still bubble along your lash line.
“Stay at Lydia’s then,” Theo spits out through gritted teeth, but he shoves a napkin towards you to mop up your running mascara, so you forgive him. It’s your fault, after all. At least, you think so as you watch him leave. 
“Boyfriend troubles?” Your head lulls to the side as you blink dumbly, all big-eyed and glassy, at the stranger leaning against the bar beside you. He’s tall, well-built too, but you’re mostly focused on his pungent cologne. It’s hard not to; you’re suffocating in it. 
The man laughs and grabs your chin, shaking your head a little, “You’re adorable. How could anyone stay mad at you?” 
You recoil, wrenching your face from his sweaty grasp, and run your tongue over your teeth. “He’s not…” your protest gets lost in your throat when he steps into your space and slides his hand along your spine, just shy of your ass. Your dress is backless, completely exposed to his wandering gaze, and your skin crawls with the sensation of his fingertips grazing your back.
His breath is hot and wet on the shell of your ear, “You want to forget about it for a while, angel?” 
“No,” your head jerks from side to side, eyes screwed shut, “I don’t—I think I’m gonna puke.”
A wave of relief rolls over you when a red-taloned hand slithers between your bodies. Lydia shoves the stranger’s chest sharply, sending him stumbling into the stool behind him, and his hand falls from your hip. 
“Does it look like she wants to contract something from a limp-dicked lowlife in tacky shoes?” The top of Lydia’s head barely reaches his shoulder, but her eyes are sharp and her sneer is venomous. The creep has the good sense to look a little afraid. “You have exactly two seconds to get the hell out of here before I personally ensure you’re on every public sex offender registry from here to Quebec.”
She grabs your hand before he has the chance to disagree and pulls you into the bathroom. In comparison to the loud, muggy dancefloor, it’s a wonderful reprieve: an oasis of cold air and muffled bass. 
Lydia fusses over you for a minute; you wave off her concerns and push yourself onto the sink even though your arms feel distinctly gelatinous. You can tell she doesn’t believe you, but men preying on drunk women is a tragically large and present underbelly of girl world, so after a moment she turns her intense focus to the lighted mirror. She looks perfect—she always looks perfect—but she won’t believe anyone except her own reflection.
The aching strain in your arches slowly dissipates to a faint tingle the longer your feet dangle from the counter, your heels discarded below. They’re black strappy things from the back of Lydia’s closet, and so is the scrap of black silk that Prada has the audacity to call a dress. You are grateful, however, for the short hem and open back now that your skin finally has the chance to breathe. 
You watch Lydia apply her lipstick with a precision brain surgeons could only dream of, smiling lazily. She’s graceful with the slender brush, like Botticelli stroking a swathe of red silk over a canvas of smooth skin. You envy her, with your eyeshadow already melting below your waterline, but mostly you love her. So proud to have such a goddess for a best friend. 
Her head tilts as she smiles at you, and she must be at least a little godly because she doesn’t smear her lipstick when her mouth curves. “What?” she hums around her puckered lips. 
“Nothing,” your words slur together, “you’re just perfect.”
She tucks her lipstick into her clutch and shakes her head, “And you’re so drunk. Lethal, babe.”
“I love it,” you sigh as she starts fixing your hair, clicking her tongue when you start to fidget. You slump into her careful touch and watch her fingers smooth through a few knots near your ends. “Being drunk is my favorite.”
She twirls her finger, indicating you should turn around, and begins twisting your flattened curls into an elegant bun. “I’ve noticed,” she mutters through the bobby pin clutched between her teeth, “you’ve been drinking more than you’ve sober lately.”
“It’s summer!” You blow a curl off of your nose and close your teary eyes so that your mascara doesn’t flake onto your cheeks, “You’re supposed to be drunk.”
Lydia hums and pulls a few strands of hair loose to artfully frame your face. “I didn’t realize alcoholism was seasonal.”
“You,” you bop her nose and giggle when it scrunches under your finger, “are being a major buzzkill. Don’t kill my buzz; that’s murder in the first.”
“Someone has to be.” Lydia leans her hip against the sink, and her brows curve, “Where’s Theo? I thought he was your DD tonight?”
You let the intoxication sweep over your senses because it’s easy and knock your ankles together like a child on the swings. “He left,” you chirp.
“He what?”
Your bottom lip juts out a little, “I think I hurt his feelings.”
Lydia is incensed. She tosses her hair over her shoulder and mutters a few choice words under her breath, “I’m going to hurt a lot more than that when I find him.” You curl in on yourself a little, and she sighs, unwinding her fingers from tight fists as her eyes soften. “He really left you here?” she asks quietly.
You shrug, refusing to feel sorry for yourself, and make grabby hands at her sleeves, “It’s okay. You’re here, and you’re my best friend, and I love you.”
She laces your fingers together and squeezes your hand, “It is not okay. That creep had you halfway to his car.”
You shudder at memory, and feel the ghost of the stranger’s clammy hand against your lower back, “But you rescued me. So it’s okay.” 
You frown at Lydia’s frown and push her cheeks together, squishing her mouth into a crinkled half-smile. She rolls her eyes a little and takes your wrists in her hands gently, “He shouldn’t have left you. It was a shitty thing to do, babe.”
“I made him sad, I think.” You hiccup a little, “I think I always do.”
“He can’t leave you blackout drunk in a skeezy bar just because you’re in love with someone else,” she huffs.
You tease the tip of your tongue through your front teeth, swinging your legs back and forth below the sink, “It wasn’t skeezy when you picked it.”
Lydia huffs again and folds her arms over her chest, “That was before I saw tall, dark, and creepy try to take you home.”
Your playful grin crumbles as your drunk-numb mind finally catches up with the burning behind your ribs. “I’m in love with someone else,” you say, voice sticky and thick in your throat. 
She lets out a sigh so soft you wonder if you just imagined it and takes both of your hands, “I know.”
Whimpering quietly, you turn your nose into your shoulder, slightly embarrassed by the sound. “I’m sad about it.”
“I know,” Lydia combs a few strands of your hair off of your tear-tacky face and smiles a little, “let’s get you home, okay?”
Another round of nausea hits you as you finally realize that you’re truly, really, horrifically drunk, and you still can’t forget him. 
“I don’t think I know where that is anymore.” 
Lydia was able to corral you into an Uber after you puked a few times. She held your hair back and helped you brush your teeth. You cried a little when she wiped the sweat off of your face with a makeup wipe, watching her take care of you with big wet eyes, as she tucked you into bed like the baby tequila and heartbreak had turned you into. She made you promise to call her in the morning, and then she left you to sleep off the ache in your throat and the six margaritas in your bloodstream—or was it seven, you can’t remember. 
You can’t remember much, it seems. You scroll through your feed for a while and squint at the blurry splotches of color, trying to recall if you were good enough friends with the girl from software systems to leave a comment on her post about how hot she looks in red. Your fingers drift, swiping away from Instagram to the only thing you remember. The thing you’ll always remember.
The phone rings exactly two times.
“Hi.” It’s the only thing you can think of besides, ‘I love you. I love you. I love you. Please make it stop.’
“Hey.” You listen to Stiles breathe on the other side of the line and snuggle further into your pillow. “You there?” 
His voice is soft in your ear, and your eyes go lidded, “Uh huh.”
He clears his throat, “What are you doing up this late?”
You twist around your sheets, and the tip of your tongue pokes out at your phone. Apparently, you’ve also forgotten that he can’t see you. “What are you doing up this late?”
“It’s uh,” Stiles pauses and there’s a rustling sound on his side of the line, “almost 8 here.”
You blink and frown at the time on your screen, “Nuh uh.” 
There’s a pause; you hate it. You want him to keep talking until you fall asleep. He finally sighs, “Are you drunk?”
Your tongue pokes out again, “I’m not the one who can’t tell time.”
“Baby,” your heart skips and your breath hitches, and he must be tired because he doesn’t seem to notice the slip, “we’re in different time zones.”
Your heart stumbles over the skip this time, and it feels a lot like flatlining. “You went back already?”
“I, uh,” he shifts, must be in his desk chair because you can hear something rolling, “my lease started. Figured if I’m paying to live in Philly, I should actually, y’know, live in Philly.” 
“Oh.” One little syllable, and it’s heavy with so many things you can’t bring yourself to dwell on it. 
“Yeah.” 
“So, uh,” you hear him scratch at something, most likely the back of his neck because he sounds anxious, “why’d you call?” He’s quick to correct himself, words overlapping like ripples in a creek, “Not that I’m not glad you called; I’m stoked you called—or maybe something a little less embarrassing—but I, uh,” there’s that scratching sound again and a quiet thudding of drumming fingers, “I really didn’t think you would.”
“Dunno,” there’s a smile in your voice, but you aren’t sure if he can hear it through the wobble, “just started dialin’, n’ I ended up here.”
He stands, and the phone shifts against his cheek as he starts to pace, “Where are you?” He sounds worried. You frown—you don’t want him to worry. You want him to hold you.
“Home,” you pause, nose wrinkling because that’s not quite right, and then add, “my house.”
“Did you drink anything?”
“Clearly.”
You can hear the eye roll from the other side of the country when he huffs into the phone, “I meant water. Did you drink any water?”
“Uh,” you nibble on your lip, “yes?”
He huffs again, but this time you can tell he’s smiling, “Get up and get some water—Advil too. Put it on top of whatever book you’re reading so it doesn’t get lost in your pile of shitty chapsticks and hair thingies.” 
Your eyes cross, affronted, “They are not shitty.”
“They’re an endless cycle of chapped hell.”
“But they taste good,” you grumble, cuddling your pillow to your chest.
He’s smirking; you know it. “Oh, I know.” 
You both just breathe through the line for a long moment, remembering the same slick slide of lips and tongues. 
“I miss you,” you whisper. 
Stiles inhales sharply, “I miss you too.”
��No,” you shake your head, smearing mascara on your pillowcase, “I miss you.” Your mouth is dry, and you can’t find the right words to explain it, how he’s apart from you even when he’s standing right there. There just aren’t enough words in the English language to explain the ache in the marrow of your ribs, how he still lingers inside your skin like some kind of fucked-up, agonizing osmosis, how you love him so tortuously, so effortlessly. Indefinitely. 
You can’t explain, but when he whispers, “Yeah, me too,” you know he knows. 
You sniffle and hiccup a few times, and a sigh crackles through your speaker. “Drink some water for me, okay?”
“Okay,” you whisper. You roll onto your stomach and sit up a little on your elbows, “Will you stay?”
“Yeah, baby,” his chair squeaks as he sits back down, “‘till you fall asleep.”
“Promise?” Your voice is thick, like you’ve been crying for hours, and Stiles’s voice is tight when he finally replies. 
“Promise.”
You wake up with dry eyes and a rank taste in your mouth. There’s a glass of water and a handful of Advil on your nightstand, and you just know. You’ve known for a while actually, maybe forever, but you can’t pretend you don’t anymore. 
Theo seems to know why you invited him over so early on a Sunday morning. He doesn’t even look sad when you officially end it, and you wonder if it’s because he knew it was over a long time ago. You wish, selfishly, that he would’ve let you in on the secret so that you could’ve avoided all this. You hug him before he leaves, and it’s stiff and awkward, and you feel a little shitty about the whole thing—but it doesn’t feel wrong. 
You feel like yourself for the first time in a long time, and that feels good.
Summer is almost over, and you don’t have the time to obsess over all your wanting. All the air leaves your body sometimes, no room for anything but honey, veins, and new stubble, but you have so much to do. There’s no time for drowning in it when you’ve only got a few weeks before the semester starts. 
You don’t even have the time to acknowledge the nerves wriggling up your esophagus until you’re standing in front of a black door. Your screen is lit with the address Scott texted you, along with roughly 100 exclamation points and a dozen or so brain explosion, party popper, and happy face emojis. They steady you as you knock on the splintering door. The unit is cute and quaint, and you distract yourself by getting a better look at the sage green columns. 
Stiles opens the door, looking disarmingly soft in his worn sweatpants and stretched-out t-shirt—like cuddling on the weekend, like playing video games until sunrise, like home. He blinks at you slowly, pretty pink mouth slightly ajar.
You shift on the soles of your sneakers, jamming your hands into your hoodie pockets. “Hey.”
He blinks some more and seems to be only capable of repeating what he hears, “Hey.”
“So,” you dig the toe of your shoe into the porch, staring at a warped patch, curved from seasons of melting snow, and shrug, “I was in the neighborhood. Thought I’d drop by.”
He recovers from his stupor and leans against the doorframe, hands tucked under his armpits. “You were in the neighborhood,” his head tilts with his arched brow, “in Philadelphia.”
“Well,” you try not not to smile, “it was on my way.”
Nodding, Stiles rubs his chin and purses his lips. You want to kiss the smirk off of his stupid face. “Right, the classic eastbound Stanford route.”
“Not quite.” You adjust the strap of your duffle bag on your shoulder, easing some of the ache pinching at the base of your skull, “New transfer orientation is on Monday. Turns out Princeton’s comp sci department is decent.”
His face becomes guarded, but there’s a little something like hope behind the uncertainty, “4th in the country.”
Something warm inside your stomach flutters. He knows. Of course, he knows. He probably researched it all the way back in high school. You brush your hair out of your eyes and hum, “Mhm.”
Stiles slides his socked foot back and forth, slipping on the polished floor of his cozy entryway. He barely catches himself on the doorknob. You laugh until he says, “Stanford’s 2nd.”
Your shoulder lifts, “That's correct.”
His chin dips as he searches your face for something. You smile at him, and he swallows; it looks painful. “You turned down MIT because it was too far from home.”
“That's also correct,” you say quietly with a jerky nod. 
His eyes go wide as he shakes his head, almost violently. He almost slips again with the dramatic effort, “MIT’s 1st in comp-sci.” 
You steady him with a palm against his chest, swiping your thumb over his ribs. His heart thrashes under your touch, and your face lifts with a timid, tender smile. “Sure, but Princeton’s ranked #1 nationally. Overall champs, baby. Suck it.”
Stiles finally smiles, but it’s hesitant. “You don’t say.”
You let a breathy exhale and drop your hands to your sides, curling and uncurling your fingers into tight fists. He’s still looking at you, a cute little wrinkle in-between his brows, waiting for something more. Fair enough. He kind of laid it all out on the line the last time you spoke in-person—he kind of deserves to stew a little after everything he put you through, but you’ve forgiven him, decided you want to be happy more than you want to punish him.
You roll your shoulders back and tilt your chin to meet his gaze. “I don’t believe in soulmates.”
Stiles’s face goes sour, and he crosses his arms firmly over his chest, mouth twitching between a pout and a frown. “You stopped in Philly just to tell me tha—”
You rock onto your tiptoes to press a finger to his lips, biting back a smile when they pucker like a fish, and say, “Will you kindly shut it for a minute? I need to get through this. I practiced a lot on the plane.” His eyes narrow, sullen and irritated, but he keeps his lips pressed together, waiting impatiently for you to finish.
You slip your finger from his mouth to cup his jaw, thumbing just below his cheekbone, and his body goes lax, irritation slowly seeping from his lanky limbs to the floor. Grinning, you poke the tip of your tongue at him, and he swallows hard as he tracks the movement.
“As I was saying,” you smile through the snark and slide your hands to his chest, resting against the vibration of his thudding heart, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I don’t think there’s just one person out there for everyone—but that’s a good thing, right? I mean, the entire concept of a soulmate is basically just a blackhole. You’re falling, and falling, and falling—and there’s no end; you’re just trapped. There's no choice. I don’t want to love like that—I don’t want to love you like that.” 
It’s cute, the way his face screws up around a theory. It’s a familiar expression, and you can’t help but melt at the knees while you watch his eyes flick back and forth, adding up all your expressions and trying to calculate the meaning. The corner of your mouth pulls into a slip of a smile, “If I turned around right now and never saw you again, I’d be okay. I mean, I wouldn’t drop dead or anything.” 
He sucks in sharply, head jerking back, “What the fu—”
“Hush, I’m almost done.” You keep going before he can interrupt you again, rushing through the rest of your speech, running out of air and restraint, “I think that I could get over you, eventually, years and years from now—but the point is—what I realized is: I don’t want to. I don’t want to get over you. I don’t want to find someone else. Stiles, I love you—I’m in love with you, and I really think tha—”
His lips are wet and warm against yours, and you whine softly into his mouth at the familiarity. He hooks his thumbs in the belt loops on your jeans and yanks you closer, until your chests are pressed together and you can feel him breathe. You were right—the beard burn is delectable.
The kiss slows into something less desperate, something more like forever, and Stiles brushes his lips over yours in a few chaste pecks. When your lashes finally flutter open, you see that he’s grinning at you. It’s so wide, so happy, and his eyes crinkle at the corners as he says, “Sorry, you just would not shut up, so I figured it was either kiss you or shove something in your big mouth—and I’m not super confident in my CPR skills. Scott and I really spent most of the time figuring out how many pencils we could fit into the dummy’s mouth.”
“I take it back.” You push his face away from you, but a laugh bubbles past your swollen lips when Stiles pinches your waist. “I hate you.”
“Nope. No refunds.” Stiles shakes his head solemnly and wraps his hand around your hip, squeezing possessively, “You kiss it, you buy it. That’s what Coach said about the dummy.” 
“Well,” your arms find their way around his neck, and your fingers wind into the soft hair curling behind his ears, “you are a dummy.”
“The dumbest,” he agrees. He’s smiling, but his eyes are sincere, cloudy with guilt. “Baby, I never should’ve—”
You take great satisfaction in your turn shutting him up with a kiss, tugging on his hair until you’re on your tiptoes and he’s groaning into your mouth. “I think we’ve been miserable for a long time,” you whisper, breath ghosting across his shiny lips. He shivers, and you press your temple against his forehead, “I think I’ve had enough of it. How ‘bout you?” 
Stiles nods quickly and dips in to kiss you again. “Can I say sorry one more time?” he mumbles, kissing the ridge of your ear.
“I suppose,” you sigh and fall back onto your heels. 
He takes your bag from your shoulder and guides you into his apartment, kicking the door shut so that he doesn’t have to let go of your hand. There’s a thud as he drops the duffle bag onto the floor, and you barely have the time to take-in the ratty little sofa and coffee table piled with empty pizza boxes before he’s on you again. “I’m,” he kisses the corner of your mouth, and it twitches with the contact, “so,” his lips trail to your cheek, “very,” he presses a kiss to your temple, “truly,” to your hairline, “forever-ly,” to the tip of your nose, “sorry,” to your mouth. 
You sigh as he settles in for a real kiss and fall back onto the couch with him on top of you, disrupting his rhythm with a breathy giggle. He braces his weight onto his arms, and you wriggle down until your face is directly below his. “Hi,” you trace his bottom lip with your finger, smiling when he purses his lips to kiss it. 
“Hey.” He looks drunk: cheeks flushed, eyes hazy with pleasure, body loose and free from critical thinking—and you think to yourself that you’d do just about anything to make sure he’s this happy for the rest of his life. 
Stiles rolls, bringing you into his side with an arm around your waist, and presses against your lower back until you're crushed against him. Still, you squirm closer. Neither of you say anything for a long time, content with the sound of each other’s breathing, and then Stiles hums in his throat a little and plays with the ends of your hair, “So. You’re gonna live in New Jersey.”
“Yup,” your mouth pops with the ‘p.’
He grins, “Wow. You must, like, really love me or something.”
“Or something,” you tease, and he bites your shoulder in retaliation. 
“Jersey isn’t so bad,” his voice is muffled against his teeth, still embedded in your sweatshirt. Well, his technically.
You laugh, “It’s not?”
“Nah,” Stiles pulls back to look at you and scratches at the back of his neck, lifting a shoulder, “wouldn’t mind living there for the…beaches.”
“The Shore, you mean?” you grin, trying to imagine Stiles with a bad spray tan and slicked back hair. 
He grins right back and strokes your cheek, “Yeah, I’d move there for the Shore. I’ve actually been searching for just the right opportunity to show off my scrawny arms and pasty complexion. It’s like, what, a 40 minute drive from there to Penn?”
“Trenton would be around that, but I was thinking Pennypack would only be 30 from Princeton.” Stiles looks at you through lidded eyes, suspicious. You grin, “For the cheesesteaks, obviously.”
“Obviously,” he quips, but you can tell his heart isn’t in it. His face turns serious as he whispers, “You don’t have to do this,” into the quiet air humming between you. “I would’ve transferred to a school in California if I knew you still wanted me.” A flash of something ignites behind his eyes, warming the amber to whiskey, and he sits up a little, reaching over your head for his phone, “I’ll do it right now.”
You clutch his wrist and shake your head, pulling on his arm until he’s close enough to feel your lashes brush against his skin, “That’s why I didn’t ask. You’ve been dreaming about this program your entire life.”
Stiles is unusually still as he stares you down. His incisor digs into his bottom lip with a cruel bite, “What about your dreams?”
You huff, “What part of #1 don’t you get? I literally just told you to suck it. In case you forgot, I cordially invite you to suck it again, #6.” He smiles, but his eyes remain unconvinced. Your face softens, all the muscles and cartilage going gooey with affection, “It was never about Stanford, Stiles. It was about home. Guess it took you going away to figure out home sucks without you. S'not really home at all, actually.”
His lashes flutter slowly as he blinks, shaking his head, tongue running over his teeth as he struggles for air and words in equal measure. You kiss him until he finds them. “I know you don’t believe in it,” Stiles breathes out, “but I don’t think I could survive you being gone. Not again.”
You stroke over the planes of his face and hum thoughtfully, “I believe you wouldn’t want to.” Your shoulder twitches with a quick shrug as you add, “I know I don’t.”
His mouth chases your fingertips, pressing kisses to them every so often, and he closes his eyes heavily—like he hasn’t slept in months, maybe since the night he broke up with you. “These last few months have been just the fuckin’ worst,” he finally manages a smirk after you kiss his nose in agreement, “like a fuckzillion times worse than the summer I broke my leg, and you and Scott signed up for rec soccer without me.”
“You’ve got to let that go,” your voice is high and whiny, and Stiles’s smirk widens, “we didn’t even win any games.” You tickle him, heart leaping into your throat when he laughs and squirms away from your relentless fingers, “Didn’t have our good luck charm with us, obviously.”
“Obviously,” his grin is smug with satisfaction. Stiles tangles your legs together, legs clunking clumsily but that’s just part of the delicious charm, and hooks his chin over your shoulder, “So, Pennypack, huh.”
You nod, “I really don’t want to live in Jersey.”
You can’t see him, but Stiles peers at you, a little dubious, a lot fond. “And it’s not just for me?”
You grin, caught, and shake your head firmly, “Absolutely not.”
“It’s for the cheesesteaks,” his brow arches, and he seems to finally understand when the room becomes a swathe your smile, of your bubbling laughter: He makes you as happy as you make him. 
“Obviously.” You mean, I love you, I love you, I love you, and I never ever want to stop.  Stiles hears it, of course he does, and he says it back, sealing it with a kiss, “Obviously.”
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bookdragonideas · 8 months ago
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I just finished rereading httyd.
Defiant optimism
That is how I would describe the overall tone of the last few books. (Read the first eight a few weeks ago, read the last four tonight.)
Again and again the story tells us that History Repeats Itself. That the future is doomed. The Doomsday is coming.
And again and again the heroes decide. "You know what? I don't care. I'm going to hope for the best anyways!"
again and again and again.
The Wodensfang decides to hope for the best. One last time, even if he really thinks they're all doomed. Hiccup will not stop looking for Fishlegs. Even when everyone tells him that he's probably dead and that they have other, bigger problems. Hiccup refuses to give up on Snotlout. Even though he has betrayed them so many times, Hiccup keeps giving him more chances. Camicazi refuses to believe that Hiccup is dead, no matter what the evidence would suggest.
Hiccup refuses to destroy the dragons. He keeps offering Furious peace. Keeps promising to try his best to fix this broken world.
Yes, the story tells us, Doomsday is Coming, History Repeats Itself, and sometimes even the greatest heroes will find their triumphs turned to tragedy.
But.
If it doesn't end well, it isn't the end.
And sometimes all it takes is someone saying "No."
"No. I dont care what you say, or how hopeless it is. I will keep fighting. I will keep trying. I will not let your hatred destory the world I love. I will always try."
That makes a hero. That makes a king.
Hiccup doesn't win because he's lucky or chosen or smart.
He wins because he never gives up hope. Even when his friends tell him it's hopeless he keeps going. Keeps trying. Keeps doing the right thing.
And that is what makes him a hero. A legend. A king.
And it's what wins the day.
Because no matter how many times his tries fail, Hiccup keeps trying.
Again and again and again.
Hiccup tells Furious that as long as there is even one human, humanity will keep fighting for those they have lost.
But I think that might be how Hiccup sees himself.
One last human fighting for what humanity has lost.
For the dragons, for freedom, for peace. For love.
Because at the heart of all that trying, is love.
Love for his dragons drives Hiccup to plead for their freedom. Love for Hiccup the Second leads Furious to choose peace. Love for her son leads Valhallarama to change the Slavemark back to the Dragonmark, and rally the tribes to try again. Love for her friends makes Camicazi fly to find Hiccup.
Sometimes all you can do is try your hardest.
But if you keep trying your hardest. And try your hardest out of love. Sometimes it will add up.
Its the smaller things of the world that change things. All those little acts of trying your hardest. Doing the right thing, no matter how small.
They add up.
And sometimes they add up so big...
That they make a hero.
And that hero could be you.
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mychlapci · 5 months ago
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Ageswap Prowl sitting on Optimus’ lap at a ‘command meeting,’ panels open and legs spread so his mentors don’t need to distract themselves with the app to check if his spike is still hard. Optimus keeps hand feeding him energon, tipping the cube slightly too fast so that Prowl has to gulp it down to try to avoid it running down his cheeks like a messy child. It’s all he can focus on, clutching at the Prime-sized cube with both hands in a futile attempt to control the flow. Tanks filling rapidly, belly starting to swell ever so slightly. Prowl makes a soft little sound of protest when Optimus offers him a goodie, only to be shushed.
“Hush, Prowl,” Prime says in a firm but indulgent voice, like Prowl’s nothing more than a fussy child sat still for too long, “eat your goodies.” And then everyone goes back to ignoring Prowl. So he chews and swallows obediently, squeaking in surprise when the huge knee he’s balanced on begins to bounce slightly. Rocking his open panel enticingly against a broad thigh. His mentors are watching. /Everyone/ is watching when Prowl begins to grind obediently, still trying to pay attention to the meeting. His sticker-covered datapad case bouncing lightly as he tries to type. Optimus feeds another treat into his pouncing mouth, barely even noticing when Prowl licks and sucks the crumbs from his digits.
The cube returns when Prowl whines, with a reprimand to “be a good bot,” from Sideswipe across the table. Ah, but Prime just takes it in stride. Mechlings don’t know any better. They just whine and fuss until a real mech comes along to fix it. Clearly Prowl is still hungry, or he wouldn’t be so squirmy and noisy. Prowl is in fact quite full, his notes rapidly devolving into a blur of typos and nonsense as the bouncing and feeding continue. His plugged spike standing proudly against his swollen belly as he obediently grinds on the Prime’s thigh.
An alert pops up on his HUD, letting him know that his waste tank is nearing capacity. Prowl nearly chokes on energon trying to get Optimus to stop. His squirms become more and more frantic and uncomfortable as the energon keeps coming and Prowl keeps swallowing. Everyone is staring now, watching Prowl squeak and whimper and writhe as his tanks begin to cramp.
“Prowl!” Sunstreaker scolds, but it’s too late to stop. More alerts ping Prowl’s HUD: seal failure imminent. Prowl tries valiantly to both hold it and to get off of Prime’s lap, but Optimus keeps a firm grasp him. Tears of humiliation prick Prowl’s optics as he realizes what’s about to happen. His mentors and all of high command are about to watch him wet himself on Optimus Prime’s lap. Optimus finally pulls the cube back just in time for the room to hear Prowl’s defeated whimper… and then the moan of relief as his seal fails.
rghh… Barking and howling rn. Poor Prowl, having such a terrible accident right in the Prime’s lap. He’s mortified. He thinks no one’s ever fucked up as hard he just did wetting himself right in front of the goddamn Prime. He’s gasping out apologies, tears prickling in the corners of his eyes, trying to wiggle out of Optimus’ lap, but Optimus just shushes him again… He massages Prowl's leaky little valve with a large hand, making him hiccup and choke on his tears. He tells Sunstreaker and Sideswipe to sit back down, it’s okay, their little trainee didn’t know any better, it’s okay. He kisses Prowl on the cheek and tells him that he has nothing to be embarrassed about, mechlings have trouble controlling their waste tank, after all <3
Prowl's tummy does a funny little roll at that, and he ends up cumming against the Prime's hand, plugged up spike twitching uncontrollably...
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daylite-writes · 1 year ago
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Lynye which you wrote about is perfect, we need more yandere platonic Lynye
Soft Platonic Yandere Lyney (+ Lynette) PT 2
Sorry this took so long, first one disappeared (it’s back up dw!) so this was set back a bit. I’m glad you liked it! I love platonic yandere it’s so underrated.
cw: kidnapping, (mild) yandere, completely platonic, child!reader, gn!reader, reader goes on a hunger strike, implied future force-feeding (but it’s vague + well meaning), Lynette feeds into Lyney’s actions,
Lyney supposed he couldn’t be too upset at your actions. After all, he had snatched you up from the streets and plopped you in a guest bedroom with a door that locked from the outside. None of that stopped the little pang in his heart when he entered the room, seeing it basically ransacked. The shelves and their contents were on the floor, the dresser tipped over, clothes he bought for you scattered about. All that, plus the pillows and comforter of the bed had been pulled off, and he could see it all shoved underneath the bed, where you were undoubtedly bundled up in a little nest. Hiding best you could from your ‘captors’.
“Hey kid.” He greeted, shaking off his disappointment and replacing it with something cheery. “Are you feeling good enough to come out? I feel as though I haven't seen you in days!”
No response.
“Oh come on. Lynette cooked this time, and she set aside a pastry just for you. She won’t even let me near those!” He laughed, taking a seat on the floor, right next to the bed.
“I’d love to run a few magic tricks by you while you eat. I really think these ones are gonna be real showstoppers!”
He heard a small, unamused huff from under the bed.
Spurred on by the acknowledgement, no matter how negative, he continued. “I mean it! The crowd is gonna love this one. I can show you it if you come out.”
The offer was met with a small sniff. Then another.
Panic flooded his veins. You were crying. Oh no you were crying. He was already failing as a big brother and and—
“Move, Lyney.”
His head turned to the door, where Lynette had strode through, closing it gently behind her. Lyney frowned—he absolutely did not need his sister’s help, not when he promised he could take care of you all on your own.. “Sh! Lynette, I’ve got this.”
“You don’t.” She kneeled by the bed, peering under it. Her ears twitched as she waited a second. Then, after one still moment, she reached under the bed, grabbing your small frame and pulling you out.
You make your anger known, your small cries turned into a shriek of fear as you tried to escape her. “Let go! Lemme go!”
She tucked you onto her lap, holding you tight against her chest. Your arms and legs were skillfully trapped and detained as she held you there against her chest, shushing you quietly. “Yes, yes I know. It’s all very scary and unfair. Shh. I know. I know.”
“Let—I wanna go. I wanna…” blubbering wails turned into hiccuping sobs as she comforted you. Eventually, you collapsed against her, hiding your face away in her neck, letting her place her chin atop your head.
“There we go.”
Lyney sat there uselessly. The gaping hole in his chest aching to hold his new younger sibling in the way Lynette was. Rocking you gently, shushing down your exhausted whimpers and sobs. He watched as you slowly fell asleep, exhausted from your outburst.
When your breathing leveled out and your limbs stopped moving, Lynette relaxed her hold, sighing down at you.
“You said you knew what you were doing, Lyney.” She chastised him. He looked away shamefully.
“I really didn’t expect… this.”
“You should’ve.” Lynette said simply. “They havent been eating the food you’ve been giving them. I doubt they've been drinking the water—I can hear the bathroom sink turning on at night. I assume that’s where they've been drinking their water. Also the reason they passed out so easy. They’re hungry, dehydrated, and most of all, scared.”
“I can’t fix their fear, Lynette. Only try to work through it.”
“You’ve kidnapped them, Lyney. They won’t allow you to work through it. You can’t play big brother when the doors and windows are locked.”
He sighed. “I don’t want to hold them down and force the family thing down their throat.”
“They’re young. They’ll hardly remember this part.” Lynnette brushed your hair back from your face. “When they wake up, make them eat. Whether they want to or not. And maybe make them take a bath.”
“…You’re right Lynette.”
“Of course. Now take them back.”
“Happily!” He chirped, back to a peppy demeanor. Lynette rolled her eyes, passing you into Lyney’s arms. You mumbled a bit in your sleep, shying into the cold chest. Lyney’s face erupted into adoration, eyes wide as he glanced between you and an unamused Lynette.
She rolled her eyes, “Good luck, brother.”
~~~~~~~
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