#making this post purely to procrastinate packing lol

[theflyingfeeling]

siiiiiiiiiigh

[chaewonplzbiteme]

Three days...

First of all - thank you all a lot! To every reader, every reblogger, every liker, and last but not least, every follower! Thanks for the warm welcome.

Three days is a lot of time. Three revolutions of my home around the poles. My first proper work had a few cycles to traverse the globe and its time zones a few times, to gain impressions and arousing interest.

I'm giving you guys some of my thoughts and behind the scenes.

Publishing was not something I had in my mind when starting any of my two works so far. The 'Jessica x SinB' was rotting away in my drive, only recently have I dusted it off and posted it. 'Lazy Evaluation' was for shits and giggles - I could not stop after adding a joke and another joke. Well, gotta post somewhere at some point.

This blog was close to a start from zero. Two days before I posted 'Lazy Evaluation' - I was still writing the last paragraphs and did not even edit yet - I created the Tumblr and posted an old work of mine. Close to seven years old, I barely even remember how I wrote it. Just a horny night in front of MS Word. That's all I know. One like, one follower. Thank you, @cheezbot and @hasinum! You guys gave me a nice headstart~.

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Potential spoilers for 'Lazy Evaluation' follow.

I have started Lazy Evaluation on March 11, and finished it on March 31. Twenty days, multiple hours every day (and a LAN party) - a lot longer than a single night for 'Jessica x SinB'. But the journey was a lot of fun, and I experienced a lot of tingly feelings for JiU 😊.

5k words, 30k characters, 145 paragraphs.

This sentence started it all:

Her low hums guided your mouth between her mounds, but your tongue dictated the rhythm of her mellow purrs.

It got me fixated. It set the theme. Bi-directional love making. And the rest of the paragraph followed. Fucking long sentence after this one, lol. I wanted to expand upon this. I knew I needed a mommy with big decent boobs deserving of worship. I thought of Karina or Eunbi first, but I'm afraid I don't know them that well. I don't follow any of their content except for MVs and some stages. JiU is a long lasting love, though, uninterrupted since 2014. I dig every single breath of her. Whopping body. Mine. What a good fit.

How would they start? Help with homework, a frustrating one would suit well. No one understands Monads, countless tutorials and even more memes about the myriads of tutorials. We have our computer science topic. Lazy-by-default evaluation is another concept common from the Haskell programming language, just like Monads. Perfect for procrastination. The fact that lazy-by-default is actually uncommon for programming languages and other technologies, but the de-facto modus operandi for a non-negligible number of humans has been brought to you by the academia gang.

Tortoise and hare is a fable about the hare losing the race due to its own arrogance. Also a heuristic for cycle detection in computer science. Good fit, but better about a race towards the peak, a vicious cycle of pleasure and edging.

A massage would initiate the intercourse. Maybe a hand job before the 69. A cream pie would be delicious. Target is three cum shots - no less. How to transition between positions. Joke about forgotten protection - I doubt Minji would be that careless, add her getting a pack of condoms from her bag (did anyone notice?).

I was already making a lot of jokes, some in mathematics and computer science. I tried to incorporate some classic jokes, too. Not all of them verbatim. The cloud is just someone else’s computer.

Pure functions are side-effect free. A consequence of this property is we can achieve idempotence. A healthy penis also satisfies this property, though, as your boner clearly shows.

I combined the following with a silly 1 + 1 = 3 joke:

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician sit in a sidewalk cafe, looking at the building across the road. Two people go into the building, then three people come out.   Physicist: "This must be a measuring error!"   Biologist: "This is proof of procreation!"   Mathematician: "If one more person goes into the building, it will be empty!" 

Maybe I am the only one laughing. Who cares. You see the result at the cream pie. The sum of all its parts is greater than the whole. I combined with that, too.

About the never-before-solved formula: I consider this to be quite surprising, when we look at the fact that there are more than eight billion humans in the world. It is possible that there has not been sufficient time to process the empirical evidence, given the exponential increase of the population in the last two hundred years – going from one billion to eight billion. I imagine that observing and examining such vast amounts of data to be very time-consuming. Also, not all results of examining the data have been made available to science, most notably by the method of pornographic content consumption.

Some general science and academia jokes. The academic paper structure for the final big joke. An exercise left for the reader. I nearly did a n=1 joke. Given the importance of our research question, I think it would be valuable to increase our sample size to ensure that our findings are robust and reliable. Sequel, anyone?

So much about volcanoes and mountains and hills and mounds and caves. I should have studied geology instead of computer science ;_;. (plot twist: I failed university)

I added one thing and didn't want it to go to waste, like the chocolate, so I added it to another part. Same with some other little details, like Minji's composure. That way I had a common thread (several, actually) running through the story.

Some smaller pop culture references to Lord of the Rings (VERY hard to spot), Attack on Titans, and of course Harry Potter (it's more than the movie title ;) the cum we lose in the chamber of secrets has a way to come back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect). I had given some thoughts about whether a potential reader should understand every reference I add, given that they also know the source media. My conclusion: No... I will giggle about my hidden jokes alone if I have to. Not everyone has to. Not everyone will. Even if they know the source media.

I also had some goals that I rarely see in male reader fics: "Minji needs to feel good, too." I had a big-ass note hovering over my draft all the time: "What's in it for Minji?" Add stuff about their antics. About what they love about each other.

They were obviously in an existing relationship. Some thoughts about how that came about (not really), how they lived, what their relationship was like before. I almost cried when I wrote the scene with the three words, some tears were already forming actually. It was not a conscious choice to place it that far back, but it did fit well.

A lot of things were a natural consequence, everything leads to the next thing. How do writers say? Have good characters, and the story will write itself. A good cause will lead to a good (and obvious) consequence. No idea if I have good characters, but it all worked out for me. It all feels natural. This is what counts. I'm happy with it.

Again, it was a lot of fun! The rush of adding things into the mixer and see it bloat into something beautiful is quite addicting. From the beginning I could not anticipate the end. It was quite a tremendous journey.

Sadly the following part did not make it - at least verbatim - I was unsatisfied of how much I was jumping from metaphor to metaphor, from one image to a completely different. Had to reduce.

Minji gulped down the snake all the way down, choking on it and feeling it throb at the back of her throat. The other end of the snake did not relent, however, and continued its attack, circling around her nub, unafraid of the secretions her cavern produced in defense, but now even more determined to continue.

I mean, where the fuck would a snake come from. So I changed it to the hare's tail. In hindsight, I maybe should have experimented with hare's paw / foot / whatever it is called in English. You know, the good luck charm.

So many messy thoughts.

Editing and revision makes everything perfect - or at the very least, better. Sometimes. Eventually. Maybe. Who knows? Perfectly fine.

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Next up, the whopping numbers. These are far beyond the lowest expectations I would ever have for this work, especially given the niche nature of computer science and maths. I cannot say I had any doubts, since I did not expect anything in the first place. Until Tumblr started to summarize the followers for the day.

24h:

72h:

I cannot rationalize these numbers. I have no baseline to relate them to. I can only see: 'big' authors seem to have ~500-1000 notes on a work in days / weeks / months / years / decades. Very muddy numbers. No idea how Tumblr works, every author and every post has different numbers. And I have a fraction of that. In three rotations of the planet.

Thank.

You.

All.

Most of all.

Thank Minji.

Does it tell me it's any good? Who cares, I defined it as finished. I won't ever touch it again. A solution exists. I can go back to sleep.

Maybe it does tell me that some of you are nerds, though - and that I am not alone in being one. Uwu~.

Ok now I shall throw the stats into the bin. A surprise to be sure, a welcome one at that, too. But I intend to write for myself. More than incoherent dreams and thoughts. Ordered, sorted and well-thought out scenarios is a big step up for me. Not synthesized-up and randomized brainstorms. I have ChatGPT my brain for that.

Also rushing for stats make me sick, lol. I'm already engrossed enough with work and the sideways movement of the stock markets. I'm incapable of playing Rainbow Six due to the adrenaline.

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I have started reading some fics again after those three weeks. And I notice. So. Many. Differences. To other people's work. It is actually a good thing. I don't have much moaning, no "I'm cumming". Way less dialogue, the only conscious difference I was aiming for. Lots of descriptions and images. Volcanoes and burning hot lava in mouths and vaginas, hahaha. Minji gets to be pleasured and cum. Heaven forbid no one think about her!

The world thrives on variety and diversity, so it is actually a good thing to show you guys another way to write smuts, albeit accidentally. Everyone brings something different to the table. We all love each other.

The world needs more breeding fics, especially of the fluffy and romantic variety.

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Do I have something planned next? Maybe. No promises. How long it will take? Only heaven knows...

Peace, out! ✌️

[the-last-centurion]

Honestly not worth your time reading, just talking to myself here.

I realized I haven’t posted the conclusion of my magical date week, nor have I updated about what happened after I left for school. So imma give a run-down of that week and now.  One more reminder that these posts are purely for me to look back on; I don’t mind others reading but know that I’m tailoring this post (and all posts in this tag) for future me. Also this week was perfect so I’m writing down as many details as I can remember.

Last time I posted I had just gone on my first date to the zoo on Monday. The next morning I drove him to work cuz it was on my way to my friend’s house and his car was in the shop. On the way there, he grabbed my hand, kissed it, and out of the blue said “Last night I had my first dream in years.” I died.

The next day we went to Filoli Gardens, then got lunch by that bookstore in Palo Alto, and went back to my house to watch more movies. We watched one all the way through, then tried to watch Anastasia, but started making out and put the movie on an indefinite hold while we meandered into my bedroom. He was generous to me, but before I could return the favor we heard the door open so we quickly made ourselves decent. I walked out of my room, but right as I opened my door I heard the front door shut and lock.... sorry Dad. Then I realized I was late for babysitting so I rushed him home and ran over to pick up the kid. We never finished Anastasia. 

I didn’t see him Thursday, and Friday we went to Pier 39, got lunch at a pizza place overlooking the water, went in an infinity mirror maze, and I took him to Mitchell’s Ice Cream on the way home. That day was when we started realizing that we seemed to have a lot of luck when we were together. There was never any traffic, and on the way to Mitchell’s I was like “There is never any parking here, we’ll probably have to drive around for 30 mins looking for a spot.” Lo and behold there was a spot open literally right in front of the store. “There’s always a huge line for ice cream, we have to take a number,” I said. But alas there were only like 5 people ahead of us, so the wait was very short (and we sat on a bench and kinda like publically-oriented cuddled while we waited). Then, we got our ice cream and were waiting to pay but nobody every helped us, until a guy comes up to us and says “I think they had me pay for yours too, enjoy!” We tried to pay him back but he just said have a wonderful day and left. We ended up joking that all this luck was due to the necklace he was wearing, and he wore it every day after that. On the car ride home we talked about our romantic histories and got everything out in the open, which was really nice. Then we watched Lilo and Stitch (he kept doing his really good Stitch impersonation), and then Prince of Egypt. Between movies we walked down to the Chinese place near my house and got takeout, and made rice at home cuz we forgot rice. It was so nice just cuddling up with him and watching movies :)

Saturday it was 5 billion degrees outside, so he came over later in the day and he taught me how to play Civ. We were going to go to a drive-in movie (hence the late start to the day), but we decided it was too hot so we went to the old Stanford Theater instead and saw Casablanca. Before that we got dinner at Asian Box, and then gelato at my favorite gelato place in Palo Alto. After the movie we went back to my dad’s house and played more Civ until late in my bunk bed, and that turned into doing other things quietly so as to not wake my dad in the other room (lol). 

Sunday I got lunch with my dad first, and then picked up Koren for the drive-in movie. We stopped by my dad’s to pick up lawn chairs, then got take-out Korean BBQ in RWC before going to Safeway for snacks and finally driving down. We were running a bit late, but, keeping with our good luck, there was no traffic on the way, very little line going in, and it happened to be free movie day so the double-feature was completely free. Also, the night before that we were originally going to go to had kinda shitty movies, but this night happened to be a double-feature of Spider-Man Homecoming and Guardians of the Galaxy 2. We found a fantastic spot, ate our dinner in the car, and put our lawn chairs out for the movie. Again our luck held as we happened to park right in front of a car with loud external speakers, so they played the audio for us to hear so we didn’t have to use my car’s stereo. During the movie we put our lawn chairs next to each other and held hands. After the first movie, we packed up the chairs and moved my seats forward so we could sit in the back seat together. We kissed a bit and I ended up cuddling with him the whole movie, sometimes just laying on his lap and we would stare at each other instead of watching the movie. It was really nice, but a little sad knowing that the next day was our last. 

Monday I picked him up around 10:30 (the usual time for us), and this time we went to my dad’s house for a little bit, and then went to my mom’s. We played Civ for a bit, and then went into my sister’s room and slightly attempted to have sex but neither of us knew what we were doing so we ended up not. We chose that time to talk about the future, and decided to keep talking but not be official cuz long-distance. We went back out into the living room and played Civ as we waited for my mom to come back from work at 5, but then it became 7 and she still wasn’t home so we stopped thinking she was coming home anytime soon. We cuddled for awhile on the couch first, then got handsy, and then I started giving him head but we were both still kinda unsure about when my mom was coming home, and of course then we hear the door unlock so we quickly cover up, he throws my bra under a pillow, and my mom comes in probably knowing she walked in on something but with no evidence so that’s something at least haha. She needed help getting a big thing of dog food out of the car, so he went and helped her while I ran into the bathroom and put my bra back on, hoping she didn’t notice. Then we all had dinner together pretending like nothing happened hahaha. After dinner we went to my dad’s for me to pack for leaving the next day, and I drove him home. To procrastinate leaving, we drove around looking for an open McDonald’s for ice cream, and the only one we found had a ton of police out front so we ended up getting a milkshake somewhere else. We sat and ate and talked in a Target parking lot, then I finally drove him home. As we were saying goodbye, he said he has something for me and he’ll be right back and that he’s leaving his back as insurance. He came back, said some nice stuff to me, and grabbed my hand and put something inside of it. I opened my hand and it was the poop emoji I kept trying to steal when we first started flirting at camp. We kissed each other goodbye and I drove home crying (first time crying over a boy woo). 

Since then, we’ve been talking pretty much every day. We don’t have too exciting of text conversations, but we Skype every so often and play Civ against each other. It’s been getting to the point where I’m almost always the one to start the text conversations, but I’m trying to not look too much into that and just let whatever happens happen. I’m coming home for a football game at Stanford in November, and he said he’d try to visit that weekend. Idk, I know this is dumb cuz we’re so long-distance, didn’t really date for a decent amount of time, and even when I’m home he still lives 3 hours away, but hey I like talking to him so I’m just gonna keep it up. Plus having brief text conversations every day or two takes very little effort, and there’s nobody else I’d possibly date, so I don’t feel like I’m making any sacrifice. I know he likes me a lot (or at least he used to), but I’m still slightly insecure that now that we’re not with each other all the time he’s getting bored of me. Granted the only reason I have this fear is cuz he usually doesn’t text first, but I also know he has this fear too even when I constantly reassure him I like talking to him, so I’m not too worried. And whenever we do Skype or whatever he seems to like talking to me. Idk, I’m trying to put as little pressure on this as possible and be happy wherever it goes. He always says he loves how “chill” me and my family are, since his family is so not, so I think he probably still overthinks everything. Oh well, live and let live.