#making these posts is my fic-writing fuel so i will not apologize! (but also i'm sorry i'm back on my silliness.)

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i know that the IRL explanation for gerri's wardrobe getting fancier in season two is that they realized someone with her job would be dressing more expensive and designer-y or whatever, but i love the idea that in-universe, gerri and roman went on a 'sorry about that rocket exploding and your thumbs' apology tour to japan and then came back both crushing so gerri started dressing cute and letting her hair down 💕

[nereidprinc3ss]

okay i know this is kind of a specific request but can you do something with professor Spence and uni reader where they get into a spat and argue bc she did something stupid and he gets mad and she’s like “noooo pls don’t be mad i hate when you’re mad at me I’m sorry🥺” bc she literally cannot function knowing she let him down (me with everybody) but he’s like super stubborn and goes all closed up and quiet so that he doesn’t like blow up on her until she finally says like “pls talk to me” and he’s all pissed and like “hell na bitch u crazy!🗣️‼️” but then later he’s like “it’s ok i love u but neva do that shit again ho” then they make up and it’s good again 🎀 ok i explained that so poorly (and comedically if i may) but i hope u get it and pls make it SO DRAMATIC bc I live for drama! like she steals test answers or something or does something that could like get her kicked out of school OR him lose his job 🤔 sigh … idk I’m leaving now. Also i LOOPOOOCE ORRKGOOVI love your fics. Luv em

hey girl (gender neutral) this made me laugh bc genuinely sometimes i write spencer so ooc that is what he sounds like. and i'm not sorry! anyway this is potentially a vyvanse fueled nightmare but i wrote it and i'm posting it MY BLOG MY RULES BITCHESSSS!!!! but genuinely read the content warning LMAO this one got a lil kick to it

warnings/tags: ANGST, HURT/COMFORT, fem!reader, spencer and r get into a for real argument like they're mean to each other, spencer is a lil toxic but its resolved, emotionally neglects reader just for a teeensy second but then he's really nice and sweet again, discussion of his past addic+ion, gets fluffy because i'm not EVIL, gets suggestive at the end bc i am secretly evil.......

a/n: i don't know whats happening. this confuses me just as much as it confuses you. its 3 am in the morning. im gonna post nice happy things soon. Gootbye

“I cannot believe you right now. I don’t even—I don’t even know what to say.” 

“Spencer, you don’t have to say anything. It has nothing to do with you, and I’m not looking for your approval.” 

He looks up from where he’d been rubbing his temples, like you’re a headache, eyebrows raised and lips parted in indignant disbelief. 

“Oh! You’re not looking for my approval? Well thank god for that, because if you were one of my students I would recommend expulsion to the board.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said I don’t care about your opinion on this, much less your hypothetical opinion from some alternate universe where you have any authority over my education whatsoever.” 

“You distributed an answer key to half of your class! Objectively this is the kind of thing that gets people expelled. I don’t understand how someone so smart could do something so fucking stupid.” 

The words bite more than you were prepared for—but what hurts even more is how much he seems to mean them. In arguments past you’d both said things you didn’t mean, and then would immediately melt into I’m so sorry’s and the fight would resolve itself. Spencer’s clenched jaw and inability to make eye contact with you do not lend themselves to tender apologies. They cannot be attributed to miscommunication. 

You take a step closer to where he’s bracing himself against the countertop, arms crossed defensively in front of your chest. 

“Spencer, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was such a big deal. People cheat in college all the time.” 

Still no reply. His head shakes so minutely you wonder if you’re imagining it. Panic wells in your chest. 

“Please talk to me. I really hate when you ice me out. I’m sorry, okay? Just... please say something.” 

Finally, his eyes slide to you. They lack the fiery anger of moments ago but there’s not much softness there either. His normally warm gaze now feels too abrasive, too cold and sharp on your bare skin. You're exposed, much too soft for that grating look, and it feels like he can see everything that’s wrong with you. 

“Believe me when I tell you this. I am doing us both a favor by not speaking to you right now.” 

And then he’s leaving the kitchen—nothing but a breeze against your cheek and the sound of a door slamming to prove he was ever there. 

The apartment is silent. You stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. Spencer very, very rarely gets angry at you to the point of neglect, and you know he’s doing his best with what was modelled for him as a child and his tendency to feel things so deeply it’s nearly disabling; but that doesn’t make it hurt much less. It doesn’t make you feel less abandoned or alone.  

You’re sad, and you’re still pissed, and maybe you’re in just a bit of shock as you robotically move back to your nest of blankets on the couch and resume your schoolwork. What else is there to do? Unless Spencer is right—unless you really are about to get expelled after getting the answer key for an upcoming test from a friend, who then gave it to another friend, and so on. But is that really your fault?  

It’s a struggle to stay focused as your mind keeps drifting back to Spencer in the other room, those cruel words and that cold steely look in his eye that isn’t supposed to ever be aimed at you. It’s not a secret that side of him exists, but it doesn’t belong in this apartment. It’s not something he needs to use against you. He’s supposed to be on your side. But instead, he’d said you should be expelled and essentially called you stupid. And now you’re doing homework for a class at a school you may not even be a student of come Monday. 

---------------------------------------------------

The sound of the office door opening forty-five minutes later spikes your blood pressure and simultaneously makes your heart flutter, because no matter how mad at him you might be, Spencer is still Spencer.  

He comes to stand behind the couch quietly, but you don’t acknowledge him. Maybe your typing gets a bit more aggressive, but aside from that you flat out reject his presence. 

“Can we talk?” 

You let him sweat for a minute as you finish your paragraph. 

“I don’t know, Spencer. Can we? Or are you not done with your temper tantrum?” 

“That is... well deserved,” he sighs, rounding the couch and tapping the bottom of your foot, signaling that he wants you to move your legs. You despise how automatically you comply, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid touching him as he sits next to you. There’s a long moment of silence, in which you resume typing. Spencer scoffs, leaning in slightly to peer at your screen. “Are you doing homework right now? I’m a complete asshole to you and you just... do your homework?"

“What the fuck else was I supposed to do?” you almost-yell, slamming your laptop shut and blinking away potential tears. “The only person I wanted to talk to called me stupid and fucking left!” 

The tears realize their potential once you admit the blunt truth. 

Spencer carefully moves your laptop and pulls you into his arms—and you just let him. There’s not much fight left in you. There wasn’t a lot to begin with. 

“I am so sorry, angel. You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have walked away. I overreacted.” 

“Yeah, you really did,” you cry, allowing him to run his hand over your hair. “Why did you do that? Why were you so fucking mean?” 

His voice shakes slightly as he responds, betraying his own anxieties, and a new, unwelcome sense of trepidation slithers through your veins. 

“I was wondering that, too. Even as I was saying it, I knew—I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to be saying. And then I was in the other room and I wanted to be out here, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But I think I was just scared. Which—I know, doesn’t really make sense, but... I think about when Ethan dropped out of the academy, and ended up doing heroin in New Orleans for three years, and I think about when I almost left the BAU because I was so convinced I’d never get clean that I didn’t even want to anymore, and—and the idea of you losing your education and your direction like that terrified me, probably unreasonably, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.” 

“But I’m not like you or Ethan. You don’t have to worry about that. Even if I... even I do get in some sort of disciplinary trouble. That’s a road you don’t have to worry about me going down, ever.” 

He fixes some unseen wrinkle on your shirt.  

“Yeah, but, remember... I used to not be like me or Ethan either. Do you think twelve-year-old Spencer would have ever even considered that of the infinite realities and universes which exist, he was living in one where someday he’d be shooting up in the bathroom at work?” 

“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head and burying your face in Spencer’s shoulder. The sound is more of a plea for him to be less descriptive than an answer to his rhetorical question. It’s still much easier for him to talk about that part of his life than it is for you to have to actually imagine it. You didn’t know him then, but you’ve seen pictures, and you know Spencer now, and it’s... it’s just too much. Too sad. 

“Okay,” he agrees soothingly, still playing with your hair. “I digress. My point is that literally anything is possible, and while it’s not necessarily likely, I more than anyone know that anxiety even over the most improbable of things is never completely unfounded.”  

You sniffle in response, too emotionally and physically exhausted to contribute much to the conversation by this point. Thankfully, Spencer can talk for two. An idiosyncrasy which you love and comes in handy every once in a while. He can play his own devil’s advocate; in this case, you. 

“But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. Ever. I truly, truly, sincerely apologize for that. I never want to hurt you.” 

You let the apology sink into your skin like a salve, soothing every abrasion those earlier words had left in their violent wake. 

After a few minutes, you find the energy to ask a question that might best remain unanswered. 

“Are you still mad at me?” 

He’s quiet for a beat, seemingly contemplative as his fingers trace abstract patterns in a language all his own on your arm. 

“I’m not thrilled. But you were right earlier. It’s not my place to be mad at you for something like that.” 

“Mm... it’s a little bit your place. You’re an actual professor.” 

He chuckles. 

“At an entirely different university.” 

“Thank god,” you laugh. “You and me at the same school would be such an HR clusterfuck.”

While it’s almost a serious matter, the smile in his voice is evident. 

“Yeah... I, uh... try not to think about it.” 

“Okay, but seriously. In your professional opinion. Am I fucked? Like, do I need to prepare an appeal and character witnesses or whatever?” 

Spencer sighs. 

“It was incredibly reckless and irresponsible. You should be ready for disciplinary pushback from the schoolboard if you get caught. That being said... because over sixty of you got a hold of the answer key, I doubt anyone is getting expelled, and even if they did, it would likely only be the TA and the student he gave the key to. It’s my tentative, professional opinion that you’ll probably be fine.” 

You relax slightly, allowing a tension you didn’t realize was there to shed like an old skin. 

“I’m not gonna cheat again,” you promise on an exhale. It’s simply too much risk for too little reward.

Spencer’s response is quiet, and comes much faster than you’d expected. 

“Oh, I know you aren’t. Because if you do, you’re going to have to worry about disciplinary action from me. And I’m not nearly as nice as the dean of your school, darling girl.” 

But something about the way he says it—a thinly veiled threat/promise contrasted by a sweet kiss to your forehead—doesn’t exactly make academic honesty look all that exciting.

[burntchez]

(Possessive! Wriothesley x Male! Reader Smut)

Note: This is basically the 2nd part for my Possessive! Wriothesley x Reader fic I posted on Youtube but this time the 2nd part is for male readers! My apologies I couldn't make a female reader version or at least Gender Neutral. I'm (kind of) experienced in writing Male Reader content bc I'm a male myself.

(This contains: Smut (duh), Breeding, spanking, cuffs)

"Are we really doing it here..?" Asked the smaller male. The Duke's lips curled into a mischiveous smirk, his hands travelling the body of the man below him. Arms beneath the uniform, lips close to the delectable neck. "Why not here? This is my office, and I see no problem of doing such... Thing here. Besides, I know you've been wanting this." Wriothesley whispered to the boy beneath him, enjoying the sight of him being vulnerable. You couldn't respond due to the intimate sensation crawling up his sensitive skin, his mouth only letting out whines and whimpers. By now, he was impatient. He wanted to show you how bad he misses you. He wanted to mark you as his.

Screams and moans filled the room as the two of you carried onto your session. Sounds of skin slapping synchronized with the moans you let out. "If you don't want your voice to be heard from outside, then I suggest you bear with this and stay quiet while I..." He pauses and thrusts. "Enjoy this." Wriothesley whispered to him with a husky voice. "Besides, I know you also enjoy this. I know you've wanted this." He commented between pants. "Y-you wanted this! It was not my idea to be fucked!" You scolded. The Warden can only let out a low chuckle as he heard your words, "Oh yeah.". Suddenly, a hand came striking down to your ass, making a loud slap on contact and leaving red print of his hand. A loud moan escaped your lips, followed by whimpers. Wriothesley can only sadistically watch you be lost in painful pleasure with a cruel smile as he continued thrusting into you. His whole length buried to the hilt as he unsheathed and thrusted himself in. "You look so good when you're beneath me. Wrists cuffed, lying on my desk, legs spread, perfect for me. Not to mention your hole taking me in!" He growled, eyes gazing to the sweating skin of your body. Admiring how powerless you are beneath him. "Fuck, I want to see you completely ravaged, now." Wriothesley let his desires take over and increase his pace, his thrusts violating your ass like hammer striking an anvil. His hand gripped tightly on your wrists while the other played with your sensitive nipples, flicking and toying on the nubs. His eyes observed you, how your eyes rolled back and try to lower your cute sounds, how your ass takes him in easily, and your little cock that was left twitching and sobbing precum. It all fuel his desire for you, to own you, to make you his own man. "I don't care if the others knows about this. I need to mark this body of yours with my cum!" Wriothesley growled with a husky voice before attacking your neck, drawing another cute cry from your lips. You felt his teeth biting onto your neck and shoulder while also giving it kisses. Wriothesley's thrusts accelerated, plunging deeper into your wet hole, trying to milk his cock into filling you up with his warm cum.

"O-oh fuck! T-too fast!~ I-i'm gonna-" "Cum?" Wriothesley finished your sentence as he withdrew from your marked neck. He towered over your messy figure, proud of what he made of you. "Hold it in for a few more seconds boy, I'm close too." After his command, he increased the pace of his thrusts. His cock plunging into you at a restless place, eliciting a long messy moan from you. The way your head drew back and how your body responds to his thrusts, it all fueled him, he needed to make you his. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum. Take it all boy! I'll make you never forget who owns you and this ass!" With one fatal thrust, his cock thrusted into your insides and unleashed a massive load of cum that he saved up for your return. His climax hit him like a tidal wave, just like yours. Your cock spurted out white ropes of cum and came all over Wriothesley's abs and on your stomach.

As you two took gasps and breath after a rough sex, Wriothesley gave you a kiss on the lips, affectionate and desiring. After a few seconds of intimate kissing, you decided to break it and take another breather. Wriothesley watched your exhausted state with a satisfied smirk and embraced you with his cock still inside you, ensuring that no cum seeps out and preserving his mark inside you.

"How is that for a 'welcome back'?"

"I've been gone for 2 weeks!"

"I know, but I still miss you~"

[mistydeyes]

𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽!

i’m currently not active atm but feel free to pursue my previous works <3

here's a short lil explanation as to where i am lol

click me for asks + requests :)

requests: closed atm!

pairings status: closed atm!

rules for requests - i love when you send things 💌

note - message me or comment on any one of my works if you want to be added to a tag list :)

I usually post on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays

izzie's fic recommendations - updated daily!

some things about me :)

the basics: 22, she/her, from the us :)

i'm a third year pharmacy student! also minoring in justice, law, and society

along with writing, i also intern at a retail pharmacy during the summer and a psychiatric hospital during the school year

so naturally my pharmacist series is my absolute favorite to write and research!

𝓶𝔀𝓲𝓲 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽 - the full masterlist

don't know where to start? here's a few readers' favorites :) ❤️ - izzie’s favorites

💌 if you want to peek at all of my writings

S E R I E S

"your prescription is ready for pick-up" - 141 x pharmacist!reader

all of my works and our pharmacist reader

a panacea❤️ - 141 meets the cure to all their ailments

sick day visit - you prided yourself on never getting sick but the day has finally come. as you’re resting in your quarters, a certain group pays you a visit :)

fake hypochondriac ghost x reader (sequel to “a panacea”) - ghost goes to extreme lengths to see his favorite pharmacist

pain-killer fueled thoughts price x reader (sequel to “a panacea”) - price landed himself in the medic tent and his pain killers are making him tell the pharmacist his feelings.

keep your weapons hot and bodies hotter (18+) - stripper!141 x fem!reader (codename: Phoenix)❤️

hunk-o-mania 141 edition - feast your eyes on Delilah's Den's newest male dancers

playboy bunny phoenix edition - an unforeseen guest complicates the mission, now you have to get ready to act as the distraction on stage

the joys of civilian life - 141 x civilian!fem!reader

opposite occupations - while on leave, the boys each meet a civilian that makes their time deployed and defending their country worth it

family moments - 141 x fem!reader

little moments and little voices - precious moments you spend in your home with your husband and children :)

oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up - your husband leaves this world too early and now you have to pick up the pieces with your children

secrets and pointed fingers (requested!)❤️ - simon "ghost" riley

behind locked doors - when the 141 thinks you're the mole, they make sure to extract the information in whatever way possible

empty apologies and avoiding glances - when you return back to base, everything is far from normal

half empty glasses and unchanging perspectives - you try to run away from the trauma at the pub but with a glass in hand, simon finds you

O N E - S H O T S

odd hobbies - 141 x reader everyone has their own hobbies, yours are just unique to 141’s perspective

butterfly effect - 141 x fem!reader they say "a butterfly flaps its wings in the amazonian jungle, and subsequently a storm ravages half of europe." what once was a silly quote now has implications as one action leads to your death.

opposite of a meet cute❤️ - 141 x civilian!reader most people have a cute story as to how they met their significant other but yours is a little more eccentric

V I S U A L S + R A N D O M

random things in pockets and bags❤️ SERIES - what does the 141 carry on them when they’re on leave?

pt i- kyle “gaz” garrick

pt ii - simon "ghost" riley

pt iii - johnny "soap" mactavish

pt iv - john price

E X P L A I N S my series of explaining the various timeline's of the games and characters

simon "ghost" riley's backstory

which modern warfare game should i play first?

some writings from the inbox

medication mixup - the medic unknowingly prescribing you a penicillin has disastrous results due to your allergy

141’s dossier - see what the dossiers laswell gets at the end of mw 2019 looks like! + template

ghost’s doppelgänger - how does the 141 and los vaqueros react to you joining the team? their reactions are even better when you share an uncanny resemblance with ghost

running mascara - 141 x fem!reader harsh words are said and you try your best to run away from the cause. however, everyone needs to face the issue eventually and now the 141 is left to pick up the pieces. initially part of my 1k celebration but i added a sequel as it was highly requested! PART I and PART II

mw2 x reader - my ongoing series of pairing y'all up and writing a short lil blurb about how you met and your relationship

izzie’s 1K celebration! - closed now :) but feel free to look and see some of the prompts + how i answered them

𝓪𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓬 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓴𝓼

[martinsharmony]

Thank you for your RPF post. I agree. I wake up thinking of scenarios for DT/MS. They're just there, in my head, being in love and content. And I need them there. I need to know that even middle aged queers can find love, that lives adapt, that finding new love doesn't mean abandoning established love.

I need to see happy, older queers thriving in our bigoted, hateful world. Because I don't get to have that happy ending myself. And because young questioning queers need to see it, know they have a chance. To know that not everyone finds their someone(s) in high school or college. To know that everyone's path and timeline are different.

And MS and DT are such lovely people, inside and out, truly kind and giving and they deserve happiness in whatever shape that takes. It warms my poor, injured heart to see them gazing at one another adoringly, their softness for each other plain on their faces. To see them choose to be in each other's lives over and over. Like, how wonderful! How can someone hate on that? They're little bright spots in my cloudy world.

My shipping them with never affect them. I don't know them, I'm not in their circles, they will never know I exist. If any of them are seeking out the RPF fics, then they are reading them intentionally because they want to. (I'm sure MS has written and submitted some himself based on various interviews over the years.) They aren't fighting allegations of a relationship, they continuously fuel them, even. Something I don't think they'd do if they felt it was harmful to their careers, untrue, or as queerbaiting. They're allies at a minimum, they wouldn't cheapen the lived experiences of other queers for a couple of extra asses in seats at a show.

Anyhow, thank you for your well thought out post and for making me feel seen, even as I hide behind an anonymous ask.

Thank you so, so much for writing this. My apologies in taking so long to respond.

And thank you for saying that my post made you feel seen. I truly appreciate that. RP shippers are the red headed step children in the fandom world. You saying you felt seen by my writing made ME feel seen by your appreciation, and truly by receiving this ask as well.

I agree with you. I have never seen anything so wholesome in my life as the way Michael and David are with each other. They just exude love. It's so pure. I really don't understand the vitriol against it. I mean the majority of our "fuel" comes from them in the 1st place. Plus it's evident when you watch them interact.

I just chalk up the hate to it saying more about them than us.

And yes, of course people can find love at any age and regardless of what state their current relationships are already in. Why should we think they are not with each other because they are each already in relationships? Because they are famous? Because they have kids? That makes no sense. People do it every day.

Yeah no way they are doing this for any kind of "marketing" or whatever, except to provide some kind of narrative that would allow them to hide in plain sight. That way they can be just about as "free" to be themselves and show as much affection toward one another as reasonably feasible. I wish they could feel 100% free to be out in the open with it, but I also realize they probably prefer privacy as well.

I look to them as relationship goals. I hope to someday find someone that I feel as at home with as I believe they feel with each other.

[wetcatspellcaster]

hello! i have a question about finding time to write because i have an idea for an astarion fic but it's my first year in my ph.d. program and i am DROWNING IN WORK AND READINGS. how did you do this AND work on your dissertation? (also congrats on that!!! that's massive!!!)

hello, anon, congratulations to YOU on your phd programme!! many felicitations on the continuing of your education.

I took a while to reply to this, bc I'm not sure if I'm the best person to ask this question. my personal answer is 'hyperfixate on the dopamine source so, so hard until you burnout, and then feel guilty bc you haven't updated in ages (I'm currently one week since an update), and then let that guilt become your new motivator! :D'

...which doesn't seem very healthy. and definitely impacts my ability to answer the question in a way that is actually helpful.

so i don't have an answer, but my honest pieces of advice are below the cut.

idk what kinda PhD you are doing, but if it's a humanities, in my experience, there are dips and lulls. first year is always a bit hectic bc the imposter syndrome is high and you feel like you're treading water to stay afloat. but things will get so much easier, and will in fact go through peaks and troughs! in 2nd and 3rd year, i had months without any work at all. wait for a trough to do some drafting. if you're currently really struggling, then just sketch as detailed an outline as you can in a document when the idea is fresh, and then you can return to it in dribs and drabs when you have a spare moment. [if you're a scientist, apologies in advance, you have a much harder life than me!] .

this one isn't very burnout friendly, but i am introverted and treat writing fic like a hobby for when i have no social battery. then my fic battery runs out, i go be social. yes, this kinda just spreads the burnout around. yes, i also know writing is still work! but it doesn't feel like it, to me. so I guess make your fic idea as much about fun, and as least about work, as possible. make it into the catnip that will make you come back to it. treat it as an escape rather than another magnum opus, or god forbid, a second dissertation. .

this also applies to PhD work - again, if you are a humanities student, you'll inevitably hit a writing block in your thesis. these are normal, and though they feel like the worst thing at the time, they will inevitably shift. thesis writing block when i was often very productive with fic, bc my thesis wasn't taking up my brain power and/or taking time away from my thesis was exactly what i needed. If you're burned out on the thesis, maybe spend some time just playing around in your brain for a bit. my friend told me about how she used fic as a way to build 'mastery' - when she was depressed or feeling down about her thesis, she would do something she knew she was good at (fic), and this would lift her mood. in the self critical world of academia, sometimes a little fic positivity goes a long way (at least for me, but that's bc both my supervisors are very very harsh, the exact opposite of the AO3 comment box). .

find an update schedule that works for you. i used to write a whole fic before i published any of it, but that's become more untenable as my wordcounts get bigger and i need motivation. now, comments fuel me when i'm drafting. so honestly, if you think posting will add pressure, don't post. write it just for you. if you think posting is the only thing that will keep the idea alive, do it and then don't feel guilt if there's a large gap in updates. people will still read it when it eventually goes up! :)

Honestly, I don't really have an answer. I wrote a lot these last few months bc I was feeling very depressed with the endgame of my thesis, and writing distracted me and made me feel better. I try to keep two nights a week free for fic, but that works for me bc I'm an introvert who lives alone. I don't think you can force it, but what I can tell you is that the PhD does get much, much easier (and that first year is also a perfectly legit time to faff around a bit and commit some time theft if you want - at least in the humanities, bc you'll still have so much time in your project).

I'm sorry I don't have a clear answer! Fic is important to me, so I make time for it, sometimes to my own detriment. If your PhD is what is important to you rn, fic can wait! Similarly, if you want to take some time away from that treading water, maybe microdose an hour or so of fic to start building mastery :) xx

[thatsnotmygunflash]

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow? 17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block) 40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? 44. What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you? (asked with love, friend!) 😊 54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process? 56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

13. What's a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

Short sentences are more powerful than long sentences, as are shorter paragraphs. I have a hard time reading huge chunks of information being dumped in the middle of a conversation and then having to go back up and re-read the last part of the conversation because I got so wrapped up in their thoughts. I play things out like I’m watching tv and when I watch tv I’m very guilty of listening more than watching. Words have always been an assault for me, I hear too much in people’s voices and see too much in their eyes, so it’s best to pick one or the other. My writing has unintentionally been affected by that mentality.

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

When I have inspiration (and the right playlist) I never let it go to waste, I’m in deep for hours at a time. When I get to the point where I’ve changed a sentence more than three times, I can usually tell I need a break. I like to walk away or work on something else for a bit and come back with fresh eyes. If that doesn't work and I’m still just staring at the screen I'll go watch TV, play video games, or read something that is similar to what I'm working on. If I’m still not feeling it I’ll take a break for a week or so and come back refreshed.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

I was just thinking about this! I have ideas for Citizen Cold’s new gear and I'm dying for someone who can actually draw to help me bring it to life! I'd also go insane for a drawing of Barry from their first video chat with the 'Team Cold' shirt and the sun bathing him in light. The polaroids as well of course! Oh, it'd be so amazing to see! But wait, look at me, not even thinking about Len at his desk twirling the phone cord! There’s so many good snapshots I can think of in my head, you don’t know how desperate I am to see them in real life.

44. What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you? (asked with love, friend!) 😊

Oh God, okay first I want you to know I’m so so so so sorry. It took a lot of courage on my part to even contact you because I know. I know. I’m a mess. You know first hand I need a refresher course in punctuation. I don't know what's wrong with me, the rules just never seem to stick in my head. Every time I think I’ve got it right I’m proven wrong. It’s like high school math all over again. On an average day (not writing) I usually read anywhere from 6 to 10 hours. I should understand better how to properly place a comma or a period. I don’t want to talk about my spelling or vocabulary, so you’re just gonna get another apology. I’m really sorry.

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Getting to share my work with others. 😊 It’s always in the back of my head to find a different hobby besides writing, something more fulfilling, but I think it’s really just the lack of interaction and feedback that fuels those thoughts. I’ve always loved writing. It always makes me happy to see people have commented or just read my work. I’ve posted in other fandoms and have a few fics that have done fairly well, but none of them are very active fandoms nowadays. It’s really nice to know that I’m not the only one who loves writing and reading either. I can connect to people here who share an interest I’m eager to talk about since I don’t really tell anyone about my writing in my personal life.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I like to think I'm pretty good at constructing new worlds and creating something you can really get lost in, but I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to writing. I’ll create whole new worlds with timelines that span hundreds of years and complex characters that you’d just fall in love with then when it’s time to write the story I’ll just…lose interest suddenly and start something else. Posting IWEBTFATFY was a goal I had set for myself in hopes of breaking that recent streak. I’m very happy to have written 78,000 words and not been too scared to post it in fear it wasn’t going to be good enough. I’ve become very invested in this universe and have a lot of hopes for it. With the right motivation and determination I think I could create something incredible.

[starleska]

Oh, but that sounds wonderful! I'd love to be cursed like that, even if it does make it a little more difficult to get work done 😉 Usually, unless I'm trying particularly hard, I can only hear their voice reciting things they've already said. Which isn't too terrible when they say such things like Gargamel tends to😳😳

This guy's got me smiling at thin air trying to recall all my recent daydreams LOL- Alright, alright, as you could've probably guessed, I certainly enjoy imagining size difference stuff!! The most common scenarios are getting shrunken down to relative Smurf size and seeking shelter in his place, getting captured by him, and though I'm visibly not a Smurf, he finds he wouldn't mind keeping me anyway...😳 AHHH, and the other is I'm actually a Smurf, and he's captured me and is trying to get the location of the others out of me.

Imagining being his assistant is a whole other world of possibilities! In particular, him getting so caught up in his rants about the Smurfs, he backs me up against a boiling cauldron and leans over me, and it's hot but so is he-

Then there's my 2011 Smurfs movie based one, where I temporarily take Patrick and Grace's place and harbor the Smurfs in my home, Gargamel finds out and when they continue to get away from him, he kidnaps me and I'm subjected to be his accomplice for basically the rest of the movie LOL. And generally the idea of introducing him to everyday modern things is always fun, especially when I'm out and can imagine him next to me and commenting on things.

Goodness, apologies for how long that got 🤣 I totally get that, but I agree, what a nice thought! Speaking like characters that make you smile—I've noticed you've got yourself a new wonderful little guy to obsess over!! Him and his media look super interesting based on what you've posted, I'll have to check it out when I get the time. I hope you're having a wonderful time with it <3

sweetheart, hello!!!! ahhh i am so sorry - this ask got absolutely buried in my inbox underneath the hundreds of Welcome Home-related requests!! that's absolutely on me 💔 how are you doing? i hope you're having a lovely day 🥰

hahaha, you have an excellent point…Gargamel really does know how to say things which push certain buttons, huh? 😳 ohhhh the size difference stuff is so cute, yes yes yes!! hehe, imagine a magical mishap wherein he's trying to perfect a size-shrinking spell for himself so he can infiltrate the Smurf Village without their knowledge, but you end up being the unintentional victim!! but when he realises how much you know about the Smurfs, and how docile and subservient you are…well, he's certainly not in a rush to figure out how to get you back to your regular size, is he? 😉

as for actually being a Smurf, perhaps he covets you in a way he could never feel towards the others, because you want to be around him. it's incredibly soothing to his ego, and it doesn't hurt that with you, he has a small yet constant stream of magic to help fuel his desire for more power. of course, he still wants all of the Smurfs…but for you, who gives your essence so willingly? he's certainly going to find ways to, ahem…show his gratitude 😳

ohhh goodness, that assistant scenario!!!!! i love that so much, you are a genius 😖💖 gosh, wouldn't it be terrible to be squirming against the strength of his grip and trying to pull away from the heat, but Gargamel notices: he sees the flush in your cheeks, hears the stutter of your breath. "Oh, my dear," he whispers. "Is there something about this situation which you find…alluring?"

sdfgfd i love you so MUCH i adore how many different ways you've thought of shipping yourself with Gargamel, and how delightfully canon-compliant it is!!! god, you're making me want to write a real fic now 👀 that's such a fun dynamic - you being a human endeared to the Smurfs who is torn between wanting to help them, but also how horribly, ragingly attracted you are to this bad, bad man…

hahaha please don't worry at all!!! it was a treat combing through all these asks and discovering this right at the bottom - i thought maybe you'd vanished in the wake of all the Welcome Home stuff :3c hehe yes, Wally Darling is such a little angel!! i can't recommend Welcome Home enough, it's excellent. but don't worry, i have by no means left Gargamel behind;;; please know you're always welcome to message off-anon if you work up the courage!! but i absolutely adore talking to you and hearing all about your Gargamel love, it makes my heart all fluttery :3c

sending so much love your way!! i hope you are having a great day :D

[crossroadsdimension]

Arise Story Poll Response

(poll for story opinions) (did you like the story as it was or not?)

Thank you all for your responses so far, and for keeping it civil in the tags and replies. As someone who is new to the Tales fandom (relatively; I picked up Arise the week it was released and have yet to play a Symphonia copy I picked up in March), there is a lot I don't know about the other games and the fanbase as a whole. Judging by what I'm seeing after a couple days of voting, my choice of "No, the story is not incomplete (first Tales game)" is very much a minority.

Granted, I'm considering it complete despite the flaws I've been seeing. I would've loved spending more time on Lenegis and seeing more of the consequences of our and the Helganquil's actions to the Renans, but clearly, the game developers had other things they felt they needed to focus on. (Either because of money or time constraints, but I'm not in the video game industry, so I can't judge.)

Your opinions have all been interesting to read and it makes me curious about how my own opinion will change as I pick up other games. I respect where you are coming from, as more experienced players who have played more of the Tales anthology, and I look forward to seeing the older games for myself.

(Play first, analysis second, to be clear. I want to enjoy the games, then pick them apart, much like I've done with Arise on my own. Going in with an analysis/comparison mindset first would just ruin the experience.)

For what little context I'm willing to offer for posting these polls, I had someone comment on one of my fics with an essay of a request. This commenter asked me to "complete" Tales of Arise by writing the "missing third act" of the game by giving the governmental reform a spotlight after Dahna's and Rena's merger, as well as touch on the problems that come with getting Dahnans and Renas to treat each other as equals.

I told them that wasn't in any of my plans for fanfics, but the essay of a comment rattled me enough that I wanted to see what other fans thought of the plot, hence my polls linked above.

(If others attempt to add to that comment thread, know that I intend to delete comments rather than add more fuel to the fire. I've gone from rattled to annoyed over the whole thing, and the conversation is done. Adding more voices won't help. Besides, you can bother me about it here instead, if you really feel a need to.)

Concerning Arise, It seems that most of you are more focused on how the world-building and the overall polish felt, as well as your opinions of the characters and how they interacted with the plot and each other for their development. Some people liked the story and the characters, and some people thought the story wasn't good enough to hook them and maintain their attention.

And that's okay! Not every story in an anthology is going to hold your attention the same way that your favorites will. Everyone's got their own tastes and that means our likes and dislikes are not going to be completely identical. We can all be fans of the Tales anthology, even if we have different opinions about the games that exist within it.

In fact, I doubt that my love for Arise is going to fade as I go into other Tales games. It's my first, and despite its flaws, I very much enjoy it. And I can see that others also enjoyed the game despite its flaws, or felt fairly neutral about it. At the time of this post, no one's taken up the third option of "I wanted it to be more like [insert Tales game here]," but I suspect that's because of the wording. Apologies; these are the first two polls I've made on Tumblr and I didn't mean to ignite tempers. Wanting a game to be like one you've played before is a very valid desire.

Honestly, your responses are making me relieved more than anything. Because it means that there are other, more experienced Tales fans who acknowledge the game has an ending, even if it doesn't satisfy some of the people who have played it.

(Besides, if we go by the standard Three Act Structure, Act 1 is basically Calaglia the Tutorial, Act 2 is the majority of the game on Dahna, and then Act 3 could arguably be just the final dungeon, maybe Lenegis for good measure. Unpolished and rushed as it was, this is what I see.)

Don't get me wrong, my opinions of the characters are different from some of you, but the noticed flaws in the latter half are something I will agree with: the last bit of the "second half" did feel rushed, and I wish there had been more to, say, Lenegis, to give the plot time to breathe before we got shuttled off to Rena. Maybe we could've met families of the Lords or something (except for Almeidrea's since she killed everybody for her shot at the title).

As a fanfic writer, a story with perceived flaws is something that I can absolutely work with when I have the inspiration to write. An incomplete one...not so much.

So, again: thank you for telling me your opinions on the plot of Tales of Arise. While I don't expect to make extensive use of this knowledge (at least, not in the near future), I hope the data is giving others something to think about, too.

[protectgeorgeweasley]

Good evening,

I’ve recently gotten the urge to write a fanfic. One of the urges where I can’t help but tell a story and so far I’ve really enjoyed planning it out. If I end up putting it up on any platform it would be the first fic I’ve written.

My main worry when it comes to writing this story is that once the planning stage is over and I start writing that my spark of inspiration will disappear. As a writer, is there anything that you do that helps you keep your motivation up when you don’t particularly feel inspired or motivated to write?

P.S. as an only child who is also entering the stage of my life where I will be moving out of home within the next year your post from a bit ago was beautiful to read 💗

P.P.S. Lumos has quickly climbed into my top fics of all time. It is so lovely and has made me feel so many different emotions over the course of reading what has been put out there, you’re doing a great job! Try not to stress we are ready when you are! (Keep up the great work, sorry if that was a lot)

Have a good weekend!

I have very little idea of how long this has been sitting in my inbox, so I do apologize if you've been waiting for a while. <3

"My main worry when it comes to writing this story is that once the planning stage is over and I start writing that my spark of inspiration will disappear. As a writer, is there anything that you do that helps you keep your motivation up when you don’t particularly feel inspired or motivated to write?"

This is an excellent question. I'm about to speak on this as if I have some measure of authority, but please keep in mind that everything I know is based on occupying my own, fickle head. You might be very different.

A spark of inspiration is a key in the ignition of a car you are still learning to drive. [Each story is its own car, for the purposes of this analogy. There is a certain amount of relearning where the boundaries of the vehicle are, how to park in tight spaces, and how to maintenance it with every project.]

It is what propels you into motion, but it can't be the sole driver, or you'll run out of fuel. Here's where things get weird.

People are different. What motivates one person will be boring and a chore to another. You live in your own head. Take out a piece of paper and mark down five things that make you feel excited or engaged with work.

Here are some of mine in no particular order:

Friends who like to chat about it. [This doesn't have to be many people, and in my case, it's most often the same individual or two, but these people are vital in helping me process my thoughts and work through issues when I have them.]

Music

A sense of purpose [I find a purpose or two for what I'm writing, and I write for that purpose].

Workspace cohesion [odd, but I find it motivating when my reference materials/dictionaries/thesauruses and desk are all neat and tidy].

Experimentation and exploration [writing something new, trying something different, testing a technique, etc.]

Life [Going outside is important.]

Word smithery [harder to rely upon, but when a nice phrase comes together, I get a burst of excitement.]

There are certainly more, but those are just some examples. Those things help add fuel. Inspiration, if tended, can create more inspiration. The more you talk about it, work on it, and fight through blocks, the more ideas will come to you. When you see or hear something that fascinates you, turn that concept over in your head. Think about how that concept might look if presented differently. Consider what might happen to your characters if they faced something similar or related. Form a bank of textures, sounds, emotions, plants, animals. When a kitten hooks its claws into your favorite set of denims and you feel that mix of exasperation and affection--bottle it. Find a place to mark it all down.

Write down every idea you have. Even the ones that don't quite suit the project. There will be other things they might fit with in the future.

Read bad writing and read good writing. Pull apart your favorite stories and find out why you like them. Don't shy away from writing what you love. In fact, try to always write what you love. Leave the other things as you can to people who love them better.

Some people like to plan what they write in detail before they carry it out. Some people like to choose milestones that they connect--scenes they're looking forward to writing that are then stitched together with in-between bits. And some people function best by pants-ing through a plot and editing it later. There are pros and cons to each of these.

If you have lost the motivation to write after planning before, you might try one of the other methods. Sometimes, the joy of an initial exploration of something is enough to push you a good bit of the way through a solid first draft.

But it's not all that. There will inevitably come a time when you approach your writing and you have nothing, and you don't feel like digging for it or waiting for it to come to you.

That is when you sit down and write anyway. Even if it's rubbish, you have to think to yourself, "well, what logically comes next," and then you shovel gunk up into the shape of where you're going, and then the cogs get unstuck, and suddenly you're on your way.

*Important note on that last bit: sometimes, mental and emotional energy reserves grow too thin. In those cases, taking a bit of time to recharge is important. If you push too hard for too long, your engine will get upset at you, and suddenly a problem that might've been solved with an oil change is a lot more complicated and difficult to address.

But if you find yourself thinking, "I've had a break, I think I'm okay, really, and I'm still feeling stuck" sometimes the answer is just picking away at your keyboard until something happens. Put your music on [or don't], lock your phone in a box, and set a timer for fifteen to thirty minutes. Count your words at the end of it. That's a quantity of words you didn't have before [even if they are bad. Let them be bad. We don't care about that just now]. If you feel capable of another round, then go another round. If you feel like your brain is crawling out your eyelids, then step away from the computer and take a break to fold laundry or wash dishes or walk your dog. Think and talk aloud about the project as you go, if you can. Even if there's no one to speak back to you. It helps. This little exercise can help you stretch and relax into a more workable mindspace.

The mind is a muscle, and you have to train it like you do any other kind of sport. You can't expect yourself to run a marathon if you haven't trained for it properly. So, have patience with yourself, and celebrate every milestone. [Doubly so if you have a hard time focusing, or have little free time or emotional energy to spare].

Everyone will tell you to take time for yourself or to grit your teeth and write anyway. Recognize that you will have to learn to find that balance for yourself, and that you deserve to celebrate when you make smart choices, there.

Schedule your writing time, and put something fun to do after it. I highly recommend writing in sprints, as it takes the jagged teeth out of getting into a writing session you're intimidated by.

Also, sometimes, when it's been a while, things come slower than they once did. Sometimes you worry that you've used every word in the universe in every possible combination [which is certainly not true]. In those cases, look in the mirror, and say, "So what?" and keep going.

There are eight billion people in this world. Art is rarely original; originality is not what gives art value.

Connection does.

So that's my final tip: When overwhelmed, write what you'd like to read. There are certainly people who have similar tastes. You will write far more effectively for them than for a conceptual audience you do not understand but wish to impress.

Thank you so much for reading, and best of luck with your project!! <3<3<3

[anamazingangie]

This is my last (and third, compared to yours...well more than that) post about this.

This is the messaging history I have with Em.

And I gather this is the conversation she had with Ange about me.

All along you've said you like talking things out privately, why didn't you just tell me why I was banned? I could have explained, apologized, and respected that an admin didn't want me there (which is why I didn't approach anyone other than the person who invited me in the first place). All I wanted was to know why.

I thought you after dealing with people stealing your work would understand how much it sucks to have people believing heresy and rumors about you - some of wish you brushed off as being ridiculous when we talked about it in your sever.

The ideas I stole? Writing a tattoo!AU and Master/pet fic. That's it. Those overarching concepts and tropes that there are tens of thousands of results for on Ao3. That is the extend of my "plagiarism" (their words, not mine).

I invited three (?) people I had extended conversations with or talked with on other mutual servers. I had no desire or intention to poach, just to help people find places they might like in the fandom.

I wasn't banned from other servers for poaching as I did not start my own server until after being banned from the reasons mentioned above.

So this all comes down to being banned because I made your friend uncomfortable (for reasons they can't define) which is fine - but despite being admin she didn't want to communicate that. And now I'm the bad guy for discussing it in my own server?

Also it's gone from me making vile accusations and insults about you to....using emojis?

This is all so fucking childish and I still don't know why I'm involved.

And as for why I outed myself, it's because I don't like rumors and half truths being spread. I think that is misleading to people involved and every party (including the people watching this shit show you've dragged on to tumblr) deserve more than that.

Vague posting means people in the community don't know who or why or where it's being directed. It's not productive. Explaining myself and my actions hopefully IS, and I will stand behind them or apologize accordingly because that's what adults should do.

Again, this is my third and final (for reals this time) post about this situation while you've answered a half dozen asks only adding fuel to the fire.

This was all brought to tumblr around 12-2AM my time and woke me up with notifications. I'm not sure how I started this or have been the driving force behind it when I was asleep for the majority of it.

As for the message saying you had a place in my server - I tried to send it to you but was blocked, and as you said, you had left the server. I didn't realize that right away because I don't have left receipts on, since whether people want to stay or go isn't my business unless they contact me directly.

I was hoping we could talk it out when I was more alert but I guess the window had passed as I woke up to....this.

Whatever. I'm going to have a nap, I guess.

[aftokrator-official]

7, 8, 9 for the fic writers' meme!

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

This is a hard one for me because I hardly ever have strong feelings about my writing on like, a sentence/paragraph level? I don't think I'm that good at description or imagery, usually when I'm happy with something it's either dialogue or like... the overall VIBE of a scene, which doesn't come across well in quotes lol. That Said: still incredibly pleased with this opening to an as-yet unposted Shimateru fic of mine from kid AU:

It always used to be Teruki - the one who'd help him work off the tension when he needed it most, throwing themselves at each other without holding back until they were both aching and bruised and exhausted and capable of feeling at peace again. It was Teruki who noticed when he needed it, who always saw him with that brutal yet fond clarity that inevitably left Shimazaki feeling both utterly exposed and perfectly safe. Teruki who knew how to give him space while always leaving him a lifeline. And Teruki can't help him with this, because Teruki is a thousand shattered pieces in his arms and he has no idea how to vent his fury and hatred and grief without hurting someone he doesn't intend to hurt. Not when the person who's always been able to withstand it - withstand him - is this fragile, and every flinch, every quiver in his voice, every whispered apology only adds more fuel to the fire. Shimazaki feels less able to contain it every day.

idk I think I really managed to capture a core piece of the Shimateru dynamic for me, along with how their trauma in this AU changed them.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Also an unposted fic, and I'm not sure I ever will post it because I have no idea what to do with it, but there's this scene from a fic I started where Shimazaki and Teru are meeting for secret trysts while fighting on opposite sides of a war, and Teru tries to convince Shimazaki to abandon Claw and join the resistance with him.

Shimazaki smiles crookedly. “That might not be as difficult as you’re imagining. At this point, I almost think he knows me better than I know myself.” “That’s not true,” Teru says sharply. “Don’t you dare let Suzuki tell you who you are. He has no idea, you’re not—” “Oh? What about you, then, Hanazawa Teruki?” Shimazaki’s voice has become sharp like a knife, his smile widening to show his teeth. “Weren’t you eager to throw away everything you knew about yourself so you could be the person Kageyama Shigeo thought you should be?” Teru jerks back, stung. “That’s different - that’s not…” “Is it?” Shimazaki reaches out to run a finger down along Teru’s cheek. “The two of us are both intimately familiar with the magnetism of power, Teruki. You have your center and I have mine. We would be hollow beasts without them, you and I. I think you know that.”

The comparison between Shimazaki's relationship with Touichirou and Teru's relationship with Mob still makes me completely feral and I love Teru and Shimazaki debating the conflicts between their respective ideals (and pointing out the contradictions that the other hasn't noticed!) It's a shame the rest of the fic has no direction because I REALLY like this exchange, lmao.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

If something's too hard I will simply not do it lmao, so limiting myself to finished/posted fics it's definitely "Ignite the Sun," the last part in Colony. It was difficult in a practical sense, because while I knew how I wanted to end the series overall, figuring out how to get there and how to wrap up all the various subplots I'd introduced was tricky and required much tighter plotting than I'd done for any of the rest of the series. It was also difficult in an emotional sense - much of Colony was simply very unhinged vent fic, which was lovely and cathartic to write, but while I always knew I wanted to give Galo and Lio a happy ending I was still in a mental place where it was much, much easier to write about Lio's pain rather than him healing. (Probably also why the epilogue I always wanted to write never ended up happening.) Still, I'm really pleased with how it turned out, so it was worth the effort. The closing lines were a close runner-up for the "favorite prose" question above:

The thrum of Galo’s soft voice reverberates in Lio’s body, filling him, and somewhere both inside him and very far away Lio thinks he can hear the Promare too. They sing, bright and free of fear. They sing, and Lio sleeps.

[thekillingmoonmoon]

ah hello! i love coming back from the weekend with so many things to comment on (i'll split them up so you're not faced with a wall of text, even though... this is also going to be a wall of text ^_^;;)

so first - i'm glad you're doing okay life-wise and are able to come post things! it's always exciting to stop by, even if i'm a few days behind on checking the tumbles.

half-written rindou reacts! that entire block of questions you responded back with just hit me with a clarity to the situation. it would probably be better for him knowing reader ended up with ran, like it's a relief to know she'll be taken care of the way she deserves. what got me with your response was how reader was a reminder of the easy-going days in roppongi. that right there was enough to make me stop and think. both about my own carefree days and then theirs. as much as i want to say "yes sequel, of course sequel!" i would feel as though i were demanding it of you, bc i also agree that sometimes it's best to leave it to us to fill in the gaps. like, if you had left me that paragraph of questions, i'd be happy with it bc i'll be turning that scenario over in my head for days, it's fueled that much of my imagination. ...but then if you do write it and post it, please know i'll definitely be running over to talk about it.

for wolfsbane and marigold, yes, i will gladly enjoy the pain. i want to see all of my emotions painted with your palette of colours. okay i think this is really long now, i'm so sorry. i'll apologize in advance for the wall of text that might happen in response to marigold <3

hi hi hello hi - I hope you're doing well and that you had a good weekend💜 I take your wall of text and give you... my OWN wall of text

thank you for the love, it warms my heart to know someone looks forward to seeing my posts, Tumblr can sometimes feel like a bit of an echo chamber😣and discussing this makes me feel like there's life out there😂 I just finished up a paper that was giving me grief, so now I can hopefully manage my time a bit better from here on out (cross fingers, toes, and whatever other appendages you possess)

Okay so - sequel would probably centre around Rindou and how he handles it/finds out. would he heal? would he be given the space to heal? Reader needs the space to heal and collect herself, just figure out who she is and what she wants out of life. does she even want to stay with the brothers? Bonten is a far cry from the Roppongi days, and she clearly can live without them, could she walk away? what would they do if she did? many thoughts. I'm not sure if I'll do a sequel, since I have so many other fics to write, but maybe it will surprise me and I'll get the urge to write it at like 2am.

okay so I'm very interested to know what you thought about marigold (if you have something to share) because the sequel can take SO many directions and all of them are sad..

and speaking of sad... wolfsbane.. so there are two thoughts here.. I do full hurt no comfort and base it on a song called wolfsbane that I wrote with a friend?/person I once loved?/stranger with whom i have a deep history?. any way the song is about a shared experience of having separate shitty partners and it could get pretty rough, OR I do a hurt to comfort and give Wakasa the love he deserves....

any who.. I love you and I hope you're well! stay safe and hydrated and I'm sending you virtual hugs

lots of love...

[voxofthevoid]

Oh man I was reading "I'm a ghost, You're and angel" for the 10000 time, and there was a little interaction that just got my brain spinning, where Steve asks Bucky if he's on a honeypot mission. What would it be like if the answer was yes? Bucky definitely enjoying the sex and /enthusiastically/ consenting, but at the same time there's an undercurrent of like... he's saying yes because he wants to, but he would still say yes if he didn't want to. Because sometimes bosses are just like that, man.

Hello, there’s a fun question. Grab a seat, anon, we’ll be here a while!

So that question is kind of a pivotal moment for the story in terms of tone and content.  The plot of i’m a ghost, you’re an angel is what it is because Bucky said yes to that question because it makes honesty the basis of their evolving relationship. Not honesty in the sense of complete disclosure but more of this tacit understanding that they both have about each other. So Steve knows that Bucky has orders to spy on him, but Bucky also knows - he’s not 100% sure, but 99.8, let’s say - that Steve knows what Fury wants, and again, Steve knows Bucky knows Steve knows.

Typing that gave me a headache, and I apologize for what it will do to you.

And what tips them both into this unspoken understanding is that question. Is Bucky fucking Steve on Fury’s orders? Nope, they can move on. Steve, who’s been tentatively seeing Bucky as a possible ally, pretty much decides at that moment that Bucky’s on his side and his loyalty to SHIELD is the problem if he wants Bucky to join the Avengers. That’s his angle, from that point onwards. It’s why most of the conflict - which is sparse to begin with because let’s face it, I write more porn than plot - is external. Bucky’s easy to seduce to the dark side because he very much wants to be there, with Steve and the Avengers.

Now, if we take that question and make its answer yes, then we’ll have a whole lot of complications, which I wouldn’t have been able to finish in 3 chapters tbh.

Scenario #1 - Steve asks whether it’s a honeypot and Bucky admits that it is, but that he’d sleep with Steve anyway of his own will.

In this case, we have the same kind of honesty as in the fic, except that undertone of “he would still say yes if he didn’t want to” is there, and Steve would be very aware of it. He wouldn’t have sex with Bucky at the point he did in the fic and would probably be working through his own issues about fucking him in his apartment, early in chapter 1. Meanwhile, Bucky would be - well, very thirsty. UST galore. Natasha would be the definition of done, and Clint would just cackle in private. They’d end up in similar straits as in the fic ultimately; they’d just take a longer, more curvy path to resolve their personal matters as opposed to the professional side of it. Because it wasn’t just the process of falling for Steve that got Bucky to switch sides, it was also what Steve saw in him as a person and an agent, and how the Avengers worked together.

Scenario #2 - Steve asks whether it’s a honeypot and Bucky convincingly lies that it isn’t

Scenario 2.5 exists where Bucky lies but unconvincingly. But that's not relevant because the plot would wither and die a very quick death there.

Okay, so, this one would be a long fucking fic. We have Bucky who’s very much attracted to Steve but also cool with fucking him on SHIELD’s orders. We already know he’s been on honeypot missions before, that he’s decent at it, and it would be easier with Steve because Bucky doesn’t have to convince him that the attraction is real because it is real. Problem will be later on, once Bucky starts to fall for Steve while also developing a soft spot for what he has seen of the Avengers.

I think the split in the plotline would be the end of chapter two, where instead of telling Steve that Fury sent Bucky to gather info - which they both know Steve already knows - Bucky would confess that he lied to Steve and that the mission was a honeypot.

I don’t have a clear idea of how exactly things would proceed, but there would be angst and temporary separations. Steve would do what Bucky asked and terminate his deal with Fury. Bucky would return to SHIELD and pine.

Pine a lot.

And then, I don’t know. More interactions during missions that just happen to intersect, ill-advised passion-fueled sex, fraught conversations under gunfire, all that fun shit. The fic would definitely need an Angst with a Happy Ending tag.

Scenario #3 - Bucky decides to play the long game, doesn’t tell Steve at the end of chapter 2 that it’s a honeypot, and pretends to defect from SHIELD

In terms of plot, we’d have the entirety of i’m a ghost, you’re an angel as it is, with certain changes at the beginning of chapter 3. The interior monologue would be a very different beast though. Bucky’s characterization would also be significantly different, though still in line with what we see in if you’re looking for jesus.

The sex would be Complicated in that they both want it but:

Bucky’s still on a mission and would’ve said yes either way

Steve doesn’t know and thinks Bucky’s doing this solely out of personal interest

Dubious Consent tag, anyone?

And after the plot-as-we-know-it ends, things would get a lot more complicated, especially in Bucky’s head. Caught between SHIELD and Steve but in a way far more intense and with higher stakes than the series.

There would be one or two scenes of Thou Hast Betrayed Me and the likes. Would it end happy? Yeah, probably, because I’m predictable like that, but then, my definition of a happy ending can accommodate a lot of fucked-upery so there’s that.

I won’t be writing any of these scenarios, but if anyone wants to give it a shot, go right ahead.

[Also, I’m scheduling this for a few hours later so that it won’t get buried in my queued posts]

[seungcheolsbodyharness]

Ahw babe don't apologize for giving me such a great answer!! And I'm super glad to hear that you've never stopped writing for yourself, since I've seen a lot of writers on here lose interest bc it started to become a 'job' to finish requests. I just wanted to be sure that wasn't the case for you, but I now see that I worded it a bit weird since you can only put so many words in an ask. (1/2) -🍩

It also makes me super happy that writing is a way for you to deal with emotions in some way and I hope it will stay that way, since y'know, it's never good to keep it all inside! Anyways moral of the story, I love you and I really respect you for making such a well thought out decision, and I want you to know that I'll always support you no matter what! And I'll be there for you if you ever wanna talk! Like, if you wanna talk about Dongho pls do bc I love him a LOT -🍩 (2/2)

yeah, the ouran blog was the first and only time i continuously wrote from requests, and towards the end I just hated it. more power to the people who run blogs fueled solely by requests. also, request blogs tend to horde the worst kind of fic consumers, so. no thanks. 

as far as me using fic to work through emotions - not so much anymore, but it was so important for me as a kid. i won’t go into that bc it’s just. you know. sad lmao, and i’m a lot better off now. if anything i use to to vent my frustrations about my lack of romance. who knows. 

i should probably be clear and say that like. i didn’t actually put a lot of thought into this decision - i just...made it. i have friends who’ve decided not to post on tumblr anymore, as well as some blogs i don’t know but Do respect a lot. maybe i’ll take a leaf from @dark-muse-iris book and post links here to anything I end up posting on ao3. 

i just. i really want to say thank you, donut. you’ve been incredibly sweet and the most reactive to the decision - which really goes to show how few of my followers care about my fics lmfao - and because of that i’ve been able to really lay all my thoughts out. 

(i could talk for days about dongho donut pls don’t tempt me i love him so much????? it’s wild. holy shit.)

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hi moon;; I'm Marysia, the stupid brat that commented three times the last chapter of your ff. I'm so sorry that you've been attacked in that way and I'm sorry if my comments disturbed you too. I really didn't want to hurt you, I know you need time to update but really I just can't wait to read more. I'm sorry because I commented on the story right before the other guy and I'm afraid that you may be upset with me too. I'm sorry, I know you need time I'm just so impatient;; (sorry for my english)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MARY PAPAYA GAYA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ahahaha, aah, I’m sorry, you have such a pretty and catchy username, I had to say it aloud ( ´ ▽ ` )

But seriously, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MARYSIA MY DEAREST MY LOVELIEST MY SWEETEST MY KINDEST, NOOOOOOOOO

*HUGS YOU*

*WRAPS YOU IN A WARM BLANKET*

I’M NOT UPSET WITH YOU IN ANY WAY OR SENSE OR FORM OR SHAPE, NOOOO

Please please please, don’t feel bad, Marysia, my dearest, nooooo!! I’ll feel TERRIBLE and horrible if I know you feel bad, no, please don’t feel that way!

You’re not a stupid brat, and you didn’t upset me, and no- JUST NO TO ALL OF THIS ASK, NO

YOU ARE A LOVELY AND WONDERFUL CREATURE AND I L O V E YOUR COMMENTS

So what if you commented 3 times? You want to know a secret? I LOVED IT! I loved it so much, so so so amazingly, incredibly MUCH, you have no idea!!!

I was on a horrible block for chapter 27, and then you left that first comment? That comment alone inspired me to open some Beauty and the Beast music on Youtube,and I wrote down (you won’t believe it), 9,000 WORDS FOR THE STORY!! Almost the whole chapter, in one go, thanks to you!! Thanks to you and your wonderful comment!!

The only reason I didn’t answer that day was because I wanted to reply the same day that I posted. I still plan to do it, that’s why I haven’t replied to the first comment you left; because I know that you get the update in your mail, but I also want to tell you  myself when it’s up. :)

And maybe you haven’t seen my reply on AO3 to one of the comments, but I’m actually writing thinking about you and your precious comments.

They were such a boost to me, you have no idea. They motivated and still motivate me. I was discouraged by the mean comment, but yours? Yours is what keeps me going. It was what told me “It really is worth it, Raccoon, look at how excited this person is for you to continue!!”

So I’m writing thinking about you. 

You’re constantly leaving precious comments, and you have no idea how much they encourage me and motivate me and keep me going. I would be nowhere without the comments of people like you!

And you like the story so much, and so sincerely, and with so much excitement, I can’t help but feel the same excitement and open the document and write all those 12,000 words that I need to write. When I say thank you, I mean it as in more than just for the comment; I say thank you to people like you because it’s people like you, it’s YOU, who give me reasons to continue!!

I would have dropped the story long ago if it wasn’t because of your unconditional, incredible, beautiful support and your very kind words, my dear. So if this story keeps going, it’s partly because of and for you :)

So:

1. You’re not a stupid brat. On the opposite, you’re a WONDERFUL reader, who I constantly think about to motivate me, and I ADORE YOU. We don’t speak much but you’re so AMAZINGLY nice and so sweet with me, I’m excited, super, super excited and soooooooooooo happy, so so so so HAPPY, excited and happy and I feel so much JOY whenever I see your name in the comment section. It’s one of the names I often really, really, really hope I will see, because I want to make YOU happy and I want to see if YOU liked the chapter! I think about specifically YOU among a couple others when I update, so no stupid brat; you’re an ANGEL!!

2. Your comments didn’t disturb me in any way. On the literal opposite, they gave me boost and motivation to write 10,000 words of the 12,000 or 13,000 they are. You and two comments alone wrote the entire chapter 27 and you should know that and be happy

3. You didn’t hurt me!! As I’ve said, and I repeat, on the opposite!! It was YOU who fixed what the other person said!! I read their comment and felt bad, but then I read yours, and everything was okay again. It was partly because of you that that mean comment didn’t upset me too much; because I remembered that one mean comment can’t compare to all the others that you’ve given me with so much love and excitement. They can’t compare.

4. It’s not your fault ot have commented after that other person!! It’s not like just because you commented, they decided to do it too. I’m sure they didn’t even look at the other comments! Really, it’s not your fault. It’s unrelated and you weren’t involved in any way, it just happened that you left a comment and someone kilometers away and unaware of your comment decided to leave a comment too, and it just happened that one arrived after thhe other, but really, it’s not like it was on purpose or like it was your fault. Leave it; don’t apologize for what others do. 

I’m not upset at you and you have nothing to be blamed for, so please don’t feel bad about it. Please.

Thank you IMMENSELY for dropping by, though. You didn’t need to, but it was still nice that you left this ask only because that way I can tell you it’s not your fault and I’m not mad at you! ON THE OPPOSITE, YOU SWEET ANGEL!

Really. Please. Seriously, I ask you from the bottom of my heart, don’t feel bad about it. Don’t be sad, please, please, I beg of you. Please.

[This got a bit long so I will put a read more line here, buddy. Forgive me, and I hope you don’t mind!]

You didn’t upset me and I’m not upset at you in any way! On the opposite. I won’t get tired of saying it; you were and are my boost and motivation, I could never be disturbed by what you say. Never.

Have you read the comments you leave me? How could I ever be angry at those? They’re always so full of love, with hearts, they’re always so cheerful and so dear. They’re fuel to me; they keep me going. They make my day every day. I can’t put into words how much your comments mean to me.

I shouldn’t be saying this because I value and treasure all my readers for that particular story, but…you are one of my favorite readers, hahaha!! (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

But really. I mean that. I’m serious about that.

Only with your comments, you show…so much. Only with your comments I can see and feel how you feel about the story; you have such a HUGE and sincere excitement about it, you’re probably the person that’s the happiest about it and you’re probably the one that loves it the most, and who is happiest when I update, the most excited while reading.

You read the story with so much passion, with so much joy, you read the fic with so much true and huge and sincere excitement, it blows my mind! I can’t believe there’s someone that likes the story as much as you do. And that was my purpose all along.

You have no idea how it feels that someone feels so excited about it and likes it as much as you do. No idea. You’re one of my favorite readers because you’re so excited about it and you like it so much, it moves me, it touches my heart. This is the reason I write; you and people like you. It makes no sense to write for no audience, and a quiet audience is not the same.

But you? You read it with so much excitement and passion, all that I want is to post the next chapter so you can have it, and so that I can see that excitement going through you. I may not visually see it, but I can feel it in your comments, and that, my friend, is my most valued treasure; your sincerity and your amazing excitement.

When I post a chapter, I’m always hoping that, among a couple others, I see YOUR name in the comment section. I love that you like the story, I love to read your reactions, I love you as a reader because you’re one of my main columns of support and motivation. This story couldn’t have existed without the support of many, you included, and you in one of the main places!!

Buddy, I’m writing this chapter for you. This specific chapter for you, because of your 2 comments (they were 2, not 3, don’t worry :) ) and the effect they had on me. They reminded me there’s someone out there that is waiting excitedly for the next part, and it motivates me to finish it!

So no worries. Please, I beg of you with everything I have, don’t feel sad or bad and don’t think I’m upset at you or that I ever was. On the oposite!! 

YOU KEEP ME GOING! ❤

Thank you so much for your unconditional support, buddy! Chapter 27 is going in the making for you, and thanks to you!!

Don’t worry about your english, it’s GREAT!! (°▽°)

Really, buddy. No worries about it. Forget about that mean comment, okay? It has nothing to do with you and it’s not your fault and just know that I love your comments!!

Thank you for reading this story, it means so much more to me than you understand!!

Thank you for liking it so much!

Thank you for your WONDERFUL comments, I treasure every single one of them!

Andthank you so much for giving me the motivation I needed for the next chapter! I’m only some words away of finishing, I hope to update it soon, and it will be for you!!

THANK YOU!!

I hope you’re having a MOST BEAUTIFUL day or night, my dearest!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

Also, is that you on your profile photo? Besides a wonderful and sweet reader, YOU’RE SUPER BEAUTIFUL!! And so talented and skilled for cosplay!!

WOW!

A BEAUTIFUL ANGEL, MASTER OF COSPLAY, IS READING MY STORY AND LIKING IT!!!!!!

I AM SO HAPPY AND SO HONORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING! o(>ω