#making serious clothes for serious mercs

[zegrasdrysdale]

[ let me show you ] d. mercer

day 5 of kinktober (praise kink w/ dawson mercer)

paring : Dawson Mercer x fem!reader

summary : Dawson shows his best friend how sex is supposed to feel

warning(s) : smut ! inexperienced!reader, soft dom!dawson, oral (f recieving), p in v, protected sex, praise kink, pet names during sex

author’s note : being so serious when i say that this is (i think) the first time im writing for merc so plsss bear w me and tell me what you think. it was supposed to be on she shorter end, but i got a lil carried away so there is actual plot including. enjoy <33

kinktober schedule

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That is not how sex is supposed to feel. Even with only one hookup prior to tonight under her belt, she doesn't think it was supposed to be that bad. Both her hookups to this day were honestly bad, and she's starting to think it has something to do with her.

She didn't think she would ever be the one to sneak out of someone's bed after hooking up with them, but here she is. She quietly and quickly gathers her clothes before she gets dressed so she can make her escape.

On the way down to the Uber that she ordered once her date fell asleep, she calls Dawson because she needs to tell someone about her night.

The phone rings a few times before he answers the phone.

"Aren't you supposed to be out on a date right now?" he questions as soon as he picks up the phone.

She pushes the door open and is met with cool New Jersey air. It whips through her hair. "Supposed to be are the key words," she tells him. "No, he brought me back to his apartment and attempted to fuck me."

"Attempted?" he asks, confusion evident in his voice. She can only imagine his face. "How did he attempt to fuck you? Because usually he did or he didn’t."

Before she gets into the Uber, she says in a hushed voice, "He couldn't figure out how to put his dick in me, Dawson. That's what I mean when I say he attempted to fuck me. He just went down on me instead and he came just from doing that. And I’m pretty sure I didn’t orgasm.”

He howls with laughter as she gets into the backseat of the Uber. "No way," Dawson laughs. "You're telling me he didn't know where to put it? Oh my God."

"It's embarrassing for me too, Merc," she tells him, face red like she is having this conversation face-to-face with him. "It's not like I knew any better either. Both hookups I’ve had have been the worst experiences of my life and taught me next to nothing about what I’m supposed to do.”

Her best friend is quiet as the Uber starts the drive to her apartment building in Hoboken. She raises her eyebrows, but he starts talking before she can ask if he’s still there.

“Come to my apartment,” he tells her. Dawson sounds a little more serious than he did thirty seconds ago.

“Why?”

“Just … come to my apartment,” he reiterates. “I’ll tell you why when you get here.”

Confused flood her body. “Okay,” she sighs. She tells the Uber driver Dawson’s address before she turns her attention back to the conversation. “You’re being very suspicious right now and I’m not sure I like it.”

“You love me anyway,” he laughs. “See you soon.”

Then the line beeps dead and she pulls the phone away from her ear. She blinks at the dark device and questions why he suddenly told her to come over. It’s almost one in the morning and she’s pretty sure he has morning skate at ten, yet he told her to come over.

If he wants to make her feel better, he could’ve waited until it wasn’t the middle of the night. They could’ve gone to lunch tomorrow when he got done practice and before he took his pre-game nap. Dawson didn’t have to tell her to come over.

The drive to Dawson’s place takes ten minutes longer than the drive to her apartment would’ve taken. It’s close to 1:30 in the morning when the Uber pulls up out front of his apartment building. She thanks the driver and heads up to Dawson's fourth floor apartment.

Three knocks later and she's face-to-face with Dawson in his pajama pants and Devils t-shirt. He looks her up and down where she stands in her little black dress and heels. The dress isn't too revealing but it shows off her curves with the way it hugs her body.

She walks past him without a word. Her cheeks threaten to turn red as she turns back to face him. Dawson shuts the door and she asks, "Is there a reason I'm in your apartment in the middle of the night?"

"You said your hookup experiences weren't the best," Dawson slowly says, hesitating a bit.

"Did you seriously ask me to come over so you could make fun of me because of my lack of experience?" she asks, annoyance evident in her voice. "Because not all of us can be a professional hockey-"

"I might be your best friend, but I wouldn't make fun of you for that," he interrupts. "God. Who do you think I am? I make fun of you for a lot of things but not because of your lack of experience."

Her body begins to relax because she really thought he was going to make fun of her. "Then why did you ask me to come over if it wasn't to make fun of me?" she tries again.

There's a moment of hesitation like Dawson's unsure of what to say next. She raises her eyebrows in confusion until he speaks.

She's very surprised at the words that leave his mouth.

"Let me show you how sex is supposed to feel," he tells her. "I'm your best friend. I hope that means you trust me enough to let me show you how good sex is supposed to be."

As soon as the words pass his lips, she's taken aback.

They've been best friends since they met their freshman year of high school and she never fathomed hooking up with him. She would be lying if she had she never thought about it though, because she has a few times. He's attractive, an insanely good hockey player, and has the best sense of humor. She knows that; she just never thought he'd want to hook up with her.

"You would do that?" she questions. "For me?"

Dawson nods and takes a step toward her. "I'd do anything for you," he replies. "Including this, if you want. So you're not embarrassed and know what you're doing next time someone takes you home after a date."

Slowly, he crosses the living room until he's standing in front of her. She looks up at him and sharply inhales when their eyes meet for a second.

"I, um ..." she trails off. "Yeah."

A small smile forms on Dawson's lips. "Yeah?" he asks. "Is that a yes?"

She nods and reaches out to touch him. She hesitates, gnawing on her bottom lip. "It's a yes," she tells him. "Before we do though, just promise me that it won't change anything. You'll still be my best friend and you'll still make fun of me for stupid things and I'll still get to make fun of you every time you fall on the ice."

The grin on Dawson's face grows. "Nothing will ever change," he tells her. "You'll still be able to make fun of me every time I fall on the ice. As a matter of fact, please keep making fun of me when I fall on the ice because it's one of my favorite things when you do."

A smile forms on her face as she looks up at her best friend. "Then okay," she sighs. "Show me how sex is supposed to feel."

With her permission and consent, he leans down and captures her lips in a long, deep kiss. Her heart races in her chest the longer their lips touch. She reciprocates it, matching the slow pace he instigated the kiss with. His forehead rests on her as the kiss deepens slightly.

Dawson brings his hand up and cups her jaw, holding her close. She rests her hands on his waist, grabbing his shirt lightly and pulling at the thin fabric so he doesn't get too far. His free hand mirrors the other one. She hums at the feeling because she's never been kissed like this.

While she lacks experience in bed, she's had her fair share of kisses in her life. Teenage relationships in high school, a little experimentation during her college years, and a handful of dates since she moved to Jersey to be close to Dawson.

In all those years though, she's never been kissed the way her best friend is kissing her now. The way he's holding her, deeply kissing her. She's not sure she'll want to kiss anyone else but Dawson after this.

He moves his hands down to her waist and she slides hers up over his chest until she wraps them around his neck. Dawson's hands rest on her butt and she smiles into the kiss that follows. He kisses her smile before he takes advantage and licks into her mouth. She gasps and hums at the feeling.

Yeah, she may never kiss anyone but Dawson after this.

The kiss turns rushed, heated, and full of tongue. She kicks off the heels she's wearing while Dawson picks her up after he wraps his arms around her waist. She wraps her legs around him and he carries her off to his bedroom down the hallway.

A soft light illuminates the room from the lamp that's lit next to his bed. That's the only light in the room when Dawson crawls on his knees on the mattress before he lies her on her back. She rolls her hips against his and Dawson pulls back.

"Okay," he breathes out with a smile on his face. "You're rushing. Don't rush. You're chasing after something you have to build to first so take a second. I have you and I'll make sure you feel good."

She nods and relaxes her entire body under his. She stares up at him and bites her bottom lip. Dawson sits back on his feet and pulls his t-shirt over his head. Her eyes widen at the sight of him without a shirt and his checkered pants hanging low on his waist.

"Oh, fuck me," she breathes out.

"That's the plan," Dawson replies.

He hooks his fingers around the thin straps that sit on her shoulders. He pulls them down off her shoulders very slowly, pulling the fabric down with the straps. When she pulls her arms out, Dawson keeps pulling the dress off.

Her breasts are exposed and she doesn't feel the need to cover her chest up. She lets Dawson keep looking at her the way she can't help but look at him.

She lifts her hips so Dawson can pull off the dress. It hits the floor with a soft thud. Her fingers splay across his torso and run up his chest. Dawson wraps his hands around her wrists and pulls her so she's sitting up, chest against his.

Dawson lifts her head up with a curled pointer finger. "I've always thought you were pretty," he softly tells her while his eyes study her face. Her face turns red. "But holy shit. You are so beautiful. I'm going to make sure you feel so good, my pretty girl."

His words shoot straight to her core. "Merc," she sighs. "You can't just say those things."

"I can," he replies while he runs a finger between her breasts. "And I will because in this moment, I'm allowed to." His fingers trails down her stomach until it reaches the waistband of her ruined panties. "So get used to it."

She shivers at his words and allows him to pull off the thin fabric. She is completely bare in front of him, and he looks at her like she's the only thing in the entire world.

It might be because they're sharing this intimate moment, but she can't help but think maybe he feels something for her. She's had a couple of moments where she thought maybe they could be more than friends, but she didn't think he shared those sentiments so she never said anything. She's never initiated anything, but he suggested they do this tonight so she can't help but wonder if he feels something for her.

Dawson lies down on his stomach with his face between her legs. He licks his bottom lip and mumbles, "So wet, pretty girl. All for me?"

Pretty girl rings throughout her head and leaves her tongue-tied. All she can do is nod in response to his question. Dawson grins and kisses her thigh. Her body shudders in response. He trails kisses from her thigh to her core. He licks a slow stripe over her core and she lets out a soft hum as her hands find a home in his hair.

"God, Dawson," she gasps. His lips wrap around her clit and he hums, sending shocks throughout her entire body.

In the two hookups she's had before this one, it's never felt like this. Her body has never reacted like this before. An unfamiliar knot has already formed in the pit of her stomach, and Dawson has only used his tongue on her. He hasn't touched her, but it already feels so good.

His tongue runs through her soaked folds. Soft hums pass his lips every so often, and each time she gasps.

"So good for me," Dawson tells her. "So patient for me. You taste so good, baby."

Before she can even react to his words, he slips his tongue inside of her. A borderline pornographic moan passes her lips while her fingers curl in his locks. She throws her head back in pleasure as Dawson licks her closer to her inevitable orgasm.

He shifts his position on the bed so he’s more on his knees than his stomach. His hands rest on her belly for a second before they slide up to cup her breasts. She hums and rests her own hands on his.

“Merc,” she sighs. “I think I’m close. Please.”

If her shaking legs and knot in her stomach are any kind of indication then she’s close. Closer than she probably thinks she is.

Dawson pulls back and she whines at the loss of contact. He stands up next to the bed and completely undresses himself. She basically starts salivating at the sight of his cock springing free of it’s checkered confines. She gnaws on her bottom lip and can’t wait to get her mouth on his dick.

Tonight is not that night though. Dawson probably won’t let it happen because he’s so bent on making her feel good.

He reached into his bedside table drawer and pulls out a small silver package. She presses her lips into a tight line when she realizes that is going to be inside her.

Dawson crawls back onto the bed between her legs. He rips open the package with his teeth and slides its contents onto his dick. He lines his tip up with her entrance and she lets out a sigh.

“I’ve got you,” he promises. “You’re doing so well for me.”

His praise is one thing she never expected to turn her on. The more he praises her, the closer her orgasm gets. It’s new, but she likes hearing Dawson talk to her like that.

She lets her legs fall to the side and Dawson hovers over her. She pulls him down for a deep kiss. He pushes into her.

There a pinch of pain when he stretches her out before it turns into pleasure the further into her he pushes. She hums as he buries himself into her. “So big, Merc,” she tells him between kisses. “Might ruin me for anyone else.”

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world,” he replies. She smiles into the kiss that follows.

He allows her to adjust to his size for a second before he starts rolling his hips. She gasps as he feels his cock inside of her. Again, there’s slight pain for a second before it turns into pleasure.

The room is quickly filled with the creak of the bed and soft sounds that rise from her throat. She wraps her legs around his waist and he changes his angle to move even deeper into her.

“Fuck, Dawson!” she gasps. “Fucking me so good. God.”

Dawson smiles and quickens his pace.

She throws her head back and his lips leave hers to attach to her jaw. She wraps her arms around his neck to keep him close. One of his hands rests on her waist while he moves.

“So tight for me, pretty girl,” Dawson tells her. "Perfect little pussy. All for me."

"All for you, Merc," she pants. Her legs begin to shake as she does everything she can to keep herself from coming before she wants to.

Dawson slows his pace but continues to move deeply into her. He hits a sweet spot and she cries out his name.

"Come for me, pretty girl," Dawson pants. "Make a mess on my cock."

With his words, the knot in her stomach comes undone and a wave of pleasure overcomes her. She completely blacks out. Her vision whitens and Dawson's name falls from her lips. Dawson fucks her though what's probably the first proper orgasm she's ever had.

She's so out of it that she doesn't feel Dawson come into the condom he's wearing, pull out of her to dispose of it, go into the bathroom and come back out to clean them both up.

That experience was so much better than the last two. The first time she had sex in college was messy and painful. The second time was that night before she went to Dawson's. Third time really was the charm because she's never felt that good when having sex.

That's the Dawson Mercer experience.

Eventually, she finds the strength to move and Dawson laughs. "You okay?" he asks. "I lost you for a second there."

"You are ..." she trails off. "That was-- Dawson. Holy shit. No wonder women keep wanting to fuck you."

He grins, proud of himself. "I guess that means it was a much better experience than you've already had?" he asks.

"Much," she laughs. "I don't think I'll find anything better than that."

"Well, you're welcome to come back whenever you want," he tells her. "Honestly. It felt really good for me too so I wouldn't say no if you ever wanted to run it back."

"Yeah?"

Dawson hums as she curls up around him. She looks up at him and tries hard not to stare at his swollen lips, unsure if she can kiss him at this point.

Their moment is over, but she suspects that it won't be the only moment they share in the coming weeks or months. Maybe their whole relationship will change after tonight. Who knows?

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MAIN HOCKEY

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[simp999]

Hello! I’m so happy to see that your requests are open~

If it’s okay to ask, I’m currently experiencing serious overworking at one of my two jobs, and tbh TF2 x reader content has been my comfort through it.

Could you have either medic or scout (completely up to you) just being there for an overworked y/n that comes back from their job frustrated and tired?

Asking anonymously cuz I’m nervous lol

Medic x Overworked! Reader

A/N: Hello! Sorry for taking so long my dear, I haven't really been doing requests lately! I hope your jobs are going well, and you aren't still too overworked! I was very much in the mood to write some medic, and your request felt perfect- sorry if it's too short! ^^

Wc: 850

Masterlist

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You sigh as you shut the door, tempted to sit down and fall asleep right then and there. You manage to drop your bags and completely forget about the kitchen entirely, going straight to your room. Most of the mercs were sitting in their game room playing poker or some card game. For once, Medic was there too. Usually, he's caught up with work or some surgeries, but he wanted to make sure he was there when you came back, expecting some kind of acknowledgment from his beloved.

He wasn't sad that you didn't even seem to notice him- no, he was sad at how exhausted you seemed, and it only became worse by the day. Your shoulders were stiff, back slumped, and those eyebags surely weren't any good. He swiftly made his way over to his lab, grabbing anything he needed and shed his gloves and lab coat, leaving him in his vest.

A soft knock on your door rang out, but there was no response. He carefuly opened it only to find you almost completely out, half stirring as the light from the hallway hit your eyes. He pushed a few things on your side table out of the way so he could place his things down. His brows knit even further together seeing how much of a mess your room was. This couldn't be good for your health. You were about to sit it, finally recognizing the person in front of you. Before you could, he gently caressed your cheek with his thumb and then checked your temperature on your forehead. While gently caressing your skin, he subtly checked your pulse too, then traced his thumb over your lips, checking your breathing. All your vitals were fine, maybe your heart was a bit fast- but you two have come to realize it's just because your heart always raced a bit in his presence.

The first time it happened and he noticed was during a routine checkup- it was cute, really. Right around the time you got together, he planted an absentminded kiss on your forehead right before checking your pulse, and you had to wait a few minutes before even bothering to try again. It didn't calm down all that much because your heart sped up every time you even thought about that kiss, but he managed to get a reading anyway.

Back to the situation at hand. He gently picked up your hand in his large one and began to ask you some questions. How much sleep you've been getting, how much and often you've been eating and drinking water. You knew not to lie as he'd see right through you, and you didn't want to make him unhappy. All of your answers were... not healthy ones, to say the least.

"Do you think you'd be able to eat a bit right now, or is food too tough?"

"My legs are too tired to-"

"Not what I asked, Liebe."

Ah.. was he gonna go get you something? What a sweetheart. You smiled and nodded, and he asked if he could leave just for a moment.

He found you once again resting with your eyes closed. This time you weren't almost knocked out, just waiting patiently for him. He brought you some fruit cut into cute little shapes- stars, hearts,- he really is adorable. He placed the plate on your lap before eyeing you up and down- you were still in your work outfit. While you ate, he walked over to where you kept your clothes. You gave him a questionning look before he pull out your most comfortable pijamas; some he gave you a while back.

Once you were done eating, leaving a few pieces, he helped you onto the ledge of the bed. He helped you take off your clothes with such gentleness, buttoning up your pijama top and letting you pull your cozy pants on. All of this was done purely out of affection and kindness and you felt nothing but safe and comfortable with him- nothing sexual whatsoever. He offered you a "warm" smile as he adjusted the collar of your top. (He's not that good at smiling but you've learned to love that small quirk. You knew what his intent was.)

He helped tuck you in and grabbed another leftover piece of fruit to bring to your lips after he did. Back to caressing your skin and gently tracing shapes all over your arms, collarbone, upper chest- it didn't take much to get you all sleepy, so it was definetly doing its job.

"Ich liebe dich, mein lieblingsengel."

You groggily answered him, just below a whisper;

"Ich liebe... dich auch..."

He melted at the sight before him. He adjusted your hair, pushing a few strands away from your forehead.

He never liked that you had a job on top of being a mercenary- being a merc was tough enough on the body and mental health as is. But that's why he's there.

To be your doctor,- to be the one to take care of you.

.

.

.

Mar.4.24

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

Switching gears since I recently refamiliarized myself with your character list...any general romantic HCs for Deadpool?

"Merc with the Mouth romance HCs" Deadpool x reader

Hey I've haven't gotten to do Deadpool yet! This is fun! I'll do sfw and nsfw.

Tw: Suggestive and smut, SA mention

Sfw:

His dates are not always Good or Safe but they are always Memorable. Someone is trying to kill him every other week. Either because he pissed them or ruined their plans. You'll be fine, just don't be shocked when he gets his hand blown off and kills several men when you were just trying to have a nice night out. You can bond while it grows back.

If you ever needed someone to enable your nerdy habits, look no further. He maims people who spoil the newest book, he'll sit through hours and hours of marathons, and he thinks it's very sexy that you know fun facts and behind the scenes details. Now put on Lord of the Rings and make out with him during the Gollum scenes.

So many dumb emoji texts. Like a huge string of emojis with all the different hearts in different color formations- rainbows, sexuality flags that match what yours might be. And sweat drops. And... cactus emoji? It definitely means something and it's meant to be affectionate, just roll with it.

He's that guy who takes you to your favorite restaurant just because he can. There's nothing special going on. He just wants to spoil you and really loves seeing you smile. Then a massage for you and maybe a bubble bath-

The stupid antics he will get to so you'll to laugh. Particularly if you're having a bad day, he will get downright slapstick if it will bring you a little bit of joy. Someone could argue it's a personality fault where he feels he has to be entertaining to have value to you, but maybe right now isn't the time to unpack that.

Nsfw:

Down for pretty much anything. Seriously. Tie him up, put him in a dress, peg him sideways- He'll try anything at least twice to see if he likes it.

the only thing that is an absolute no for him is CNC (consensual non-consent) or anything in that vein because of being a canonical SA survivor. I know I don't really write for that anyways, but I think it bears mentioning given his character and past.

Man has little to no shame so if you're not into public space fucking, you should let him know early on. He will get it on in the alleyway behind the taco shack. Tacos just get him feeling frisky sometimes, you understand.

The very definition of a switch. His playful nature allows him to slip to a submissive role easily even if people who don't know him take any of his comments seriously. He's dead-ass, use him like a toy and tell him how breedable he is if you're into that <3 He's also more than willing to take the reins and top or be in a dominant role if that's your preference. If you're also a switch you guys can just take turns depending on the move.

he's incredibly self-conscious in serious, intimate moments about his body. Particularly the first time. Okay, this is him, scarred up and looking like a fucked up Freddy Krueger. You sure you still want... this? He can put his clothes back on and he can do stuff to just you if you'd rather. Or he can turn the lights off... or...

It's so much easier to joke around than have to acknowledge he really looks like this. Once you've been together a minute, though, he'll realize you really do love his sexy ass.

[blubushie]

i'm kinda curious now... what are some of the worst/most ooc takes on the tf2 characters that you've seen 👀👀

I covered this before kinda with my "what does Blu hate about TF2 fanon."

For Sniper. For the rest of the mercs.

To sum it up:

Fandom constantly calling Sniper a Kiwi despite him only being born in Aotearoa and his entire character arc in the comics being "the people who birthed me aren't my real family, the parents who kept and raised me are". The fandom is so fucking weird about immigrants and adoptees. Also people who headcanon him as Aboriginal: I hate you because none of you can even fucking research shit to get it right. If you're Aboriginal and do that you're cool though. Namarnedjare ngudman <3

Twinkified Sniper. He's a sniper and uses a bow, he's going to have strong arms and stronger shoulders, and the comics depict him as lean.

Saying Sniper would smell. None of the fandom understands how important a lack of scent is during hunting, and Sniper is a hunter. Similarly, people headcanoning him as smoking cannabis for this reason. He does shrooms. If he's indulging in some THC that man is eating edibles so the smell doesn't stick to his clothes and skin and hair when he has to hunt.

Sniper being shy. The fandom doesn't understand how dog-eat-dog underground work is. This man would not survive long enough to become a world-renowned assassin if he was shy; also being shy would go completely against his professionalism mantra. He'd do whatever was necessary to get his kill.

Sniper being bothered by the cold. No one in the fandom understands how cold the outback gets during winter. He'd be absolutely fine. Additionally bushmen have to be highly adaptable to survive.

People making Medic evil despite canon pointing to him caring deeply for his team. At most he's chaotic neutral, and his only moment of "manipulation" is when he tricks the literal Devil, which I'm wagering is more than acceptable considering it's literally the Devil. Medic is not your sadistic manipulative monster archetype.

"Demo is abusive/lazy because he's an alcoholic" while ignoring him holding down 3 jobs while being an alcoholic, while ignoring him caring for his mum while being an alcoholic. Just say you hate addicts and go.

Intersex NB Pyro. I've been over it before. As an intersex man, I hate this fucking headcanon so goddamn much.

Infantilising Pyro despite Pyro literally being the CEO of a construction company and bringing in record profits for that quarter. And also being a mercenary PYRO LITERALLY KILLS PEOPLE JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM.

People ignoring Medic's likely bisexuality in favour of promoting him as a gay man. I don't mean people saying that Medic was never married to start with and that Demo was talking out his arse, I mean people saying Medic's wife was his beard. The bi erasure is real. People treat bisexuality as a "less pure" variant of gay.

Bigoted Engie.

Communist Heavy (his father was literally murdered by the USSR and his family thrown into a gulag in Siberia because he was a counter-revolutionary).

Evil/arsehole Spy. Also people who take Spy too seriously. This bloke cracks "your mum" jokes and snorts when he laughs. Come on. Spy might take himself seriously but that man is not as serious as he thinks he is.

Bigoted Soldier.

People using the time period as an excuse to be a bigot so they can scream about how bad it is to be a bigot. You're still promoting bigotry. This wouldn't be an issue if racism wasn't a centre/scene in practically every fucking Demo fic. I'm kinda tired of seeing marginalised people be brutalised by a fandom so the fandom can virtue-signal about how bad it is to brutalise marginalised people. Can the characters please have some happiness? Or at least some angst that isn't a constant slew of queerphobia/racism/etc?

[blackjackkent]

There are two major questions regarding taking Rakha through Rivington. The first is what order to do things; based on my previous banter posts, the group's immediate top priority is seeing what's going on with the refugees.

The second, more important question is how I convince her to visit the circus, which I don't have an answer for yet. :P I think it will probably have something to do with Wyll saying he liked Dribbles when he was a kid. But we'll worry about that later.

For now, we'll start off with the refugees, because Wyll and Minthara have both, for different reasons, expressed concern about them not being let into the city. (And Lae'zel approved of them helping Yenna, and realistically Jaheira must have expressed approval for all of this too even though the game didn't have her do so.) All of which is good reason for Rakha to consider it a priority, given how often she follows their examples.

Upon walking into Rivington proper, she's presented with an immediate first chance to get involved in the refugee crisis, as represented by a merchant in fine clothes arguing with a man who looks like he hasn't slept or had a bath in a week.

"The place was empty!" the man yelps defensively as Rakha approaches. "Keep those thugs away from my family!"

"Zenovia!" the merchant wails petulantly. "Get these squatters out of my house - now."

The woman at his side - Zenovia - is dressed in fairly well-kept armor and has a sword on her back; Rakha's attention immediately homes in on her, disregarding the two men in favor of this woman as the only threat in the immediate vicinity.

"Arfur, sweetheart," the woman says, with a slow, nasty smile, "you paid me and my boys to be caravan guards, not cattle wranglers. If you want us to get our hands dirty, it'd be our pleasure - but that'll be extra."

She has a casual unpleasantness about her that strikes Rakha as familiar but takes her a moment to place, until she remembers Aradin, the mercenary at the Grove who abandoned Halsin to the goblin camp. The one who called Rakha half-breed.

This woman is like him, then. Another merc, then. Rakha, as a result, dislikes her immediately.

"What's going on?"(*) she asks curtly.

"I just want to remove these unlawful interlopers from my property!" the merchant - Arfur - says stridently. He seems mildly unnerved by the strange shadow-touched half-orc staring him down, but not enough to undermine his concern for his material goods.

(A/N: Literally none of the available responses here are particularly Rakha-ish, but the Dark Urge-specific one is funny, so we'll go with that.)

Rakha looks at him with an air of mild perplexity and cocks her head slowly to one side like a dog solving a puzzle. "None of this would have happened," she says, serious as a funeral, "if you had a butler manning the house."

No one seems to know what to say to this - except Wyll, who (as the only one who heard Rakha's full, chaotic explanation of Sceleritas the night she almost lost control) is able to clock this as the rare instance of Rakha (deeply unsure of what to do) making a joke. He chuckles low in his throat, and sees her mouth tug up almost imperceptibly in satisfaction.

Arfur, meanwhile, just has no idea what she's talking about. He stares at her for a long moment, then presses on as if she hadn't said anything.

"Look - I have some very valuable components in there," he whines. "I need to get that lot out before they damage something."

Rakha doesn't deeply care about this man or his house. She doesn't really care instinctively about the refugees either, but she knows Wyll does. And she doesn't like his merc companion. By all this logic, she already was sided against Arfur. But she isn't sure of the correct way out of this situation.

Certainly not what the beast in her head wants, which is to kill the lot of them and take the house for herself.

"Mind if I take a look?" she asks tightly. Perhaps she can retrieve the "components" Arfur mentions and get him to go away.

If she expected a good response, she doesn't get it. Arfur straightens up indignantly and wails, "Who do you think you are?! Zenovia - people are lining up to break into my property! Do something about it!"

The mercenary's lips curl again in that nasty grin. "You paid us to protect you and your high-quality merchandise on the road," she drawls. "And we've since arrived at our destination. As I said, anything else is extra."

Arfur scowls, patting his pockets and pulling out a handful of gold. "Ugh," he mutters. "This is the last time I hire someone from the Guild. Fine. Here's the extra. Finish. The. Job." He turns and stares at Rakha balefully. "Now please show this meddler some of that famous Rivington hospitality."

Rakha is still in the process of determining what this means when an arrow goes whistling past her ear and lodges in the wood wall behind her. Immediately her vision goes white and fire flares around her hands as the urge into violence, thus pushed, takes over everything else.

It never ends, she manages to think bitterly. As before, so now. Even when I try to follow a better path. The beast still ends up with what it wants in the end.

-----

(*) Full line in game: "Calm down and tell me what's going on." Adjusted to be more Rakha-ish.

[blackmambaboobs]

TF2 Royalty AU Concepts And Headcanons

(Big ass thank you to Joy and their wonderful brain for coming up with this and creating a new fixation for me-) Reader: -Royalty/Princes/Princess -Basically has a harem of all the Guys, but we’ve been writing for more Knight!Heavy. -Chose each merc’ to be their personal Something depending on what they’re good at. -Basically a huge Slut- Scout: -Court jester. -Reader chose him based on how goofy his ass was and how cute he is.  -Fails at actual jokes but his Dumbassery makes up for it. -Does wear the hat, but not the rest of the outfit. Spy: -Personal Assassin. -Was chosen due to how persuasive he was and just because Reader wants more men added to the harem. -Wears the best clothing, for himself and to impress Reader. Sniper: -Second Personal Assassin. -Was chosen due to how well his archery skills are (since Spy is more personal). -Wears whatever the kingdom provides, doesn’t care about dressing fancy like Spy. Soldier: -Leader of teaching soon-to-be knights and other soldiers. -Was chosen due to his skills of being serious and loyal. -A big dumb Golden Retriever, especially for Reader. Heavy: -Personal Knight. -Was chosen due to being extremely strong and loyal (especially to Reader).  -Silent, but kind. Medic: -Personal healer/herbalist. -Was chosen because he claimed to be magical and get shit done somehow and Reader believed him and he somehow was able to prove his capabilities.   -Also helps Sniper and Spy when it comes to torturing if they don’t wanna do it. -Has definitely given the Reader a Human bone or organ as a way to court them. Demoman: -Personal alcohol handler and maker. -Was chosen due to his insane knowledge of alcohol making (even though he’s often drunk because of it). -A big softie for Reader. Engineer: -Personal Blacksmith. -Chosen due to his insane ability of making powerful and deadly weapons (also because of his voice and accent). -Tries to court Reader in subtle ways. Pyro: -Engi’s Blacksmith helper. -Chosen due the fact they weren’t afraid of fire and actually did well with it (also because of being Engi’s friend and Reader didn’t wanna seperate them). -Gives the Reader flowers all the time. (More shit to comeeee-)    

[rainbowroadonsteroids]

TF2 Mercs Playing Splatoon

Personally I like to think all nine mercenaries would play Splatoon, whether they play it a lot, or a little, and I've spent a little too much time on this, so enjoy my headcanons lmfao.

Scout would definitely play the most of this game, outside of Pyro. As in, not even a year after the release, he already has 1,250 hours invested in the game, roughly. Now at first he spent that time in Story Mode, and has gone so far to essentially 1,000% complete the campaign. Once he did that, he focused on online play, and has been a beast in it.

His main weapon is the Dark Tetra Dualies, as he likes how lightweight and quick they are, and loves the quad dodge roll that comes with it. His gear's ability chunks are split 50/50, being half Run Speed up and half Swim Speed Up, as that's how he likes it. He typically goes between Turf War, Rainmaker, and Splat Zones, with his favorite being Rainmaker. He also does like the occasional round or two... or five of Salmon Run. As for how he is as a player, I'd say he's a good teammate, though sometimes he spam booyahs/ouches. Not fully active in Splatfests unless they really interest him.

Heavy doesn't play too much of the game... so to speak. He only plays a few hours every few days but damn is he serious about it. Like Scout and some of the other mercs he started off just playing Story Mode, namely to get the Secret Kettle icon cuz bear. He has maybe 500 hours in the game, so a lot but nothing to compare to Scout.

His main weapon is the Heavy Splatling, though he goes between that and the Ballpoint Splatling. But the Heavy Splatling reminds him of Sasha in some ways so that's why he almost exclusively plays that. He doesn't exactly dress for fashion in the game but definitely wears the Teddy Band. Honestly he probably has a slight moment of silliness and wears the Fresh Fish Gloves and Feet as well as the Teddy band, just to look a little silly. He either does Turf War or Splat Zones, and sometimes Tower Control, but it depends on his mood. He plays Salmon Run sparingly. He's an amazing teammate, and even if he's serious he loves getting in on Squid Parties. He's participated in every Splatfest thus far, being in the following teams: Rock, Gear, Fire, Sour, Milk Chocolate, and as of the upcoming Splatfest he would go Bigfoot.

Spy mainly plays to spite Scout I won't lie. Does not play as much as his son Scout but he does play enough to have left an impact. Pretty good at the game but also infuriating to go up against. Has not touched Story Mode nor does he care to play it, though the lore does intrigue him a bit.

His main weapon is the Undercover Brella, for more obvious reasons shall I say. He will not use any other weapon because he deems most of them as "too messy", though contradicts himself through occasionally using a different Brella. He's flashy, hence why he's spent so much Gold on Toni Kensa clothing. And while Toni Kensa clothing does not normally have either Ninja Squid or Stealth Jump as its main abilities, he knows how to work around it to make it happen, that way he's stylish, flashy, and sneaky. He usually finds himself playing either Rainmaker or Tower Control for the sneaky aspect, plus he's good at fucking with people in Rainmaker. He's a good teammate but does not communicate all too often, and hates Squid Partying. He's only participated in the Food Sensation and Chocolate Splatfests. being a part of Team Sweet and Team Dark Chocolate, his reasoning for it being the seductive nature of the foods... hence why Scout did not play in either of those Splatfests.

Sniper plays quite a bit. I mean quite a bit. Not as much as Scout or Pyro but more than Heavy. Healthy... unhealthy medium. Fucking insufferable to play against because of his accuracy. He half plays Story Mode but isn't too into it, still thinks it's cool though.

He has a preferred weapon but not really a main. His preferred weapon is between the E-Litre 4K, or E-Litre 4K Scope. However, he's trying to get 5 stars with every available Charger or Scope weapon in the game. He will occasionally play just a regular Shooter, but prefers Chargers and Scopes. As for clothing he tries to match it to what he wears, or he'll make himself fruity to get a giggle out of it. He prefers Turf War and Tower Control, though very rarely does Splat Zones or Rainmaker, never Clam Blitz. By God he is a force to be reckoned with, and is genuinely horrifying in matches. But he is respectful, never Squidbags and always Booyahs back as well, though if someone Squidbags him he comes back for a kill like a goddamn wild animal. Not really into Salmon Run, and was on the Team Gear for the first official Splatfest of the game.

Soldier plays a bit but is a bit regimented with how he plays. He plays a few hours every few days but that's about it, has done everything you can do in Story Mode and keeps replaying it because he likes it, he likes the idea of being in a secret military.

He absolutely loves the Hero Shot Replica and that, outside of the Splattershot Jr., is the only weapon he plays, and he's very good at it. His clothing is just the Hero Armor Replica, and he doesn't have any clothing outside of that, not counting the clothing given as default. He loves Turf War and Clam Blitz, Clam Blitz because it reminds him of American Football, and we know how he is about patriotism. He doesn't like the other three ranked modes because he thinks they're a bit too annoying, and he has a legit hatred of Tower Control. He's a good teammate, though does sometimes Squidbag a maggot (as per his words), and usually he feels the wrath later on. He likes Salmon Run, and outside of Turf War or Clam Blitz that's all he'll play. He's participated in every Splatfest so far, and has been on the following teams: Scissors, Gear, Water, Sweet, and Milk Chocolate.

Demoman plays quite a bit and half the time... er... all the time he's drunk, but is still a powerhouse in the game. He hasn't played Story Mode but will listen to Pyro ramble on about it, he doesn't mind, he just has trouble focusing on the actual story. A smidge insufferable to play against.

His main weapons are the Explosher and Clash Blaster due to the fact they're quick and decently deadly. His clothing in game is anything to mimic his mercenary outfit, definitely has the Wharfside Cap, everything else is just random for him, though he wishes there would be an eyepatch head item. Mainly ever plays Rainmaker, though does play Splat Zones on occasion. He is a toxic player in the Squidbagging sense. He Squidbags everyone he kills and tends to feel the wrath within 10 seconds of that happening. Plus he does Squid Party in Anarchy sometimes which is an unspoked, or loudly spoken No-No. He does play Salmon Run quite a bit and loves Big Run, though he's not the best at it. Hasn't participated in any Splatfest yet but obviously would be on Team Nessie.

Medic plays quite a bit but is a bit infrequent with how long he plays, sometimes playing an ungodly amount in one day or just like an hours worth. He hasn't played Story Mode as he can't find the time to so instead he just does whatever, or tries to play Story Mode and gets interrupted.

His main weapon is the Splatana Stamper due to it looking like a saw, though he's become slightly partial to the .96 Gal Deco. He kind of just wears whatever since there's not really doctor clothing in the game, and he'd heavily prefer something so he gets to look like a creepy doctor or a similar concept. Right now he's settled for looking like a witch. He usually plays Turf War or Tower Control when he does play, but he heavily prefers Turf War. Yet somehow he's X Rank in Anarchy. He's a very friendly player but does love Squidbagging to piss people off lmao. He plays Salmon Run very seldom, but when he does it's for a little too long in his day. He's only participated in two Splatfests, being on Team Spicy and Team White Chocolate.

Pyro has way more hours than Scout, at around 1,790 so far. They play this game day and night and it has slightly become their personality, which they admit. They've fully completed Story Mode and has cleared the Secret Kettle, and they've found little secrets in the game too.

Their main weapon is between both the regular and Neo classes of the Splash-o-Matic and Sploosh-o-Matic, with the Sploosh-o-Matic being their favorite by far. They try to match their gear in game to their gear outside of the game, which they've done a good job at. They play every Anarchy Mode alongside Turf War, but they do love Splat Zones. They're not a competitive player but at the same time you can't really tell based on how well they play. They're very friendly too, and tend to send friend requests after battles. They also love Salmon Run, having binged that as well. They've participated in all the Splatfests so far, being on the following teams: Team Paper, Team Fun, Team Grass, Team Sour, and Team Milk Chocolate. As for the upcoming Splatfest they would be on Team Aliens.

Last but not least, Engineer does not play Splatoon all to often, only really playing it with Pyro. He has the least amount of hours at maybe 60 if we're being generous. He hasn't played Story Mode, genuinely just playing the game so Pyro has a gaming buddy.

Despite this, his main weapon is the Dynamo Roller, as he likes how powerful it is. He's very good with the weapon, and usually gets a lot of splats in a game. Since he isn't online much he doesn't have a favorite mode, and just kind of plays whatever Pyro wants to, and that's about it. He also doesn't really care what he wears in game so he looks a little goofy lol. He has no opinion on Salmon Run either, still just playing it so Pyro has someone to game with. And with Splatfests, he's been on the same teams as his mysterious friend and hasn't deviated.

[i-loathelucy]

more about “the doll”

ooc: hey!! there’s some more important info abt lucy that i wanted to share + some not as serious lucy fun facts. this is kind of lengthy so everything is under the cut 💜

personality / misc hcs

she hates that she has to be addressed by her callsign. she wasn’t called her actual name for years—she was only addressed as Subject Number 27 in the lab—she wants to be just lucy again.

lucy calls her brother “jem” a lot because when she was first learning to talk she had trouble saying “jeremy” so she said “jemmy” instead.

she and scout butt heads a lot because of how ideologically different they are, but they love each other dearly. they both are very protective over the other.

she shows her affection through acts of service. she’s very bad with her words.

lucy loves loves LOVES tea and sweet foods and drinks.

besides her work uniforms, she doesnt really have any clothes of her own. she has a couple of dresses (all gunne sax) gifted to her by spy for her 16th birthday.

the work/combat boots she wears are horrifically beat up. they’re worn out because they’re all she wears. she has another pair of shoes and mary-janes as part of her uniform, but these shoes in particular are cherished by her because they were the first piece of clothing she was given after being rescued from the lab.

because she didn’t grow up in boston for too long, lucy doesn’t really have a bostonian accent, but when she says certain words, it kind of slips out.

lucy has a slight gap in her front teeth. her teeth didn’t grow in properly. she was playing baseball with her brothers when she was four, and a stray pitch knocked one of her baby teeth out and the other lodged into her gums.

as part of her training for her “psychic abilities” she had to learn how to do multiple complex actions or tasks at once. this is the reason why she knows how to play multiple instruments (piano, fiddle, some woodwinds), why she’s very skilled in ballet, why she’s a skilled singer.

lucy was told that fighting is a lot like dancing. she really internalized it. she moves very gracefully and fluidly the field—however, normally she moves very stiff and awkwardly.

lucy was taught different languages in the lab as part of her “educational enrichment.” she’s best with french and struggles a little with german. she tries to teach herself russian (mainly for heavy)

lucy is mixed. in my hc, her ma is filipino.

she is not comfortable in her own body. she feels like she’s somewhere in between being a girl and being a boy but she doesn’t know how to express that properly.

lucy is ace.

lab related

lucy is incredibly pale due to being stuck in that dark lab for a decade. dark circles under her eyes are more visible because of this.

she has high pain tolerance due to training procedures in the lab. they needed to make sure she could still use her abilities even when her body was under high stress or running on incredibly low amounts of sleep or being dehydrated or dangerously hungry. many of her natural body “cues” are not normal. the mercs need to keep her in check because of this.

lucy has a really weird relationship with food because of the lab. even though she hated what they forced her to eat, those foods still bring her comfort.

she had to mature way too fast and way too soon. she felt she had to “kill” the child that she was in order to survive in the lab. but that child never truly “died” so lucy is in a really bad balance of being fiercely independent or concerningly codependent.

she has bad dreams nightly. her nightmares involve her being found by the AiHB and them killing or torturing the people she loves. or it’s her death in the lab. someone else being experimented on and she can only stand there and watch. her being unable to save someone because she can’t overpower their attacker. she would calm herself down by going to find scout or sniper or spy to make sure that they were there and safe and well.

lucy had to keep a journal in the lab. there were drawings and written entries in it. scout took the journal, then spy stole it from him and he keeps it with him after that. they both wanted insight on her mental state. scout never learns spy stole it from him—he just thought he lost it. lucy does not know that this happened.

lucy becomes very paranoid over her privacy. of people listening to her conversations in secret, hidden cameras.

she becomes especially sensitive to the mistreatment of animals.

she has oddly specific fears and all of these are because of the lab—she’s afraid of black vans, she’s afraid of dotted fabrics. the sound of EKG machines.

she was terrified of men in white coats, so she was terrified of medic. she wouldn’t talk to him, she couldn’t be in the same room as him. he mistook her genuine fear of him as her trying to intimidate him. after that, he actively makes sure to assure her he is nothing like the men in the lab.

addressing the RED and BLU lucy of it all

so when i was first making lucy’s character, i had the comics in mind more than i did the game. there are implications in the comics that are different from the games. the most important one to lucy is the whole “spy is a deadbeat” thing

because in the games its heavily implied (but. basically canon.) that the father of RED scout is BLU spy. the father of BLU scout is RED spy.

but in the comics, RED is kind of written as if they are the only team. making RED spy the father of RED scout.

so for me i have been treating comics lore lucy differently than game lore lucy. she has the same story no matter what—she will always be scout’s little sister and second child of the spy, but the exact semantics of her differs.

because i realized kind of quickly that both a RED and BLU existing in the same space at the same time would be a little problematic logistically. because both lucys work as assistants to the administrator who is authorized to go down to the respective RED/BLU base that her brother works for. but i feel like both teams would definitely realize “wait, if she works for the administrator…then she…”

so there IS. a RED and BLU lucy, however they do not/cannot in the same timeline. they’re in parallel timelines to each other.

because this is something that is interesting to me, both lucys have knowledge of the other but they don’t realize that.

they both think that the blips they see or things they hear are not related to an “alternate timeline.” they both simply think that they’re experiencing side effects from their meds or their psychic abilities.

how did this happen? a procedure performed in the lab went horrifically wrong. lucy’s abilities at this point are wildly out of control. she unintentionally caused a power surge and lucy almost died due to the machines she was hooked up to.

this event happened at the same time across the main RED lucy and BLU lucy timelines. there’s more about this but it gets kind of even more confusing but. anyways does this at all make logical sense? probably not! is this at all necessary? absolutely not but im keeping it in bc i think its cool lol

RED lucy and BLU lucy

RED lucy prefers to act as support, usually acting as the team’s second sniper or giving medical aid to anyone she sees in base. RED lucy is a lot more defensive than offensive. she uses her abilities more for self-defense or disorienting the enemy to allow someone to get out of a dangerous situation. she avoids the frontlines she’s more afraid of getting killed on the field or getting captured because she knows she’s easy pickings to the other team.

BLU lucy would be found on the frontlines near her brother. she feels much “safer” there, because she thinks it would be easier to kill or capture her if she’s alone. she uses her abilities to cause major distractions to lead the enemy into surprise attacks.

RED and BLU lucy both consider sniper to be one of their closest friends. they both consider pauling to be a sister figure.

i really like how a lot of people portray BLU as being more serious than RED. so that means BLU lucy is a much sunnier person. she processes her trauma in the lab differently—she cracks more jokes and laughs more easily about it. her viewing it as a fucked up joke is how she ignores/suppresses her trauma.

they both are left handed.

okay this was a fucking lot lmao if you have any questions i will gladly answer them. thank you for reading or getting this far 💜

[timaeusterrored]

Sometimes, Kerry forgot who he was dating. Like yeah yeah he knew he was dating someone, and he loved that someone with his full chest. But sometimes he forgot that V was a fucking Merc and would drag his bloody ass through the Villa and scare the fuck out of Kerry when he got home.

“V? Babe!” He called, following the trail of bloody clothes and things that had been knocked over. The bathroom door opened to reveal his bloody merc, sitting on the closed toilet and trying to fix himself.

“What the hell happened?” Kerry asked, dropped his things and taking off his jacket, getting into full nurse mode as he started to pull things from the cabinet.

“I’m so sorry, Ker. I tried to not make a mess-“ V was silenced by a kiss and a bump against his forehead. “That’s not what I asked. I asked what the hell happened to your pretty face.” He said, and V was the merge of becoming putty in hands.

“Some gonks that didn’t know who I was. Thought they could take me. They almost got me obviously- OW!” He shouted when Kerry started to clean the wound, earning an eye roll. “Don’t be a big baby.”

“But I’m your baby.” V teased, then flinched when he was flicked against the chest.

“Not funny. I’m being serious, you look like you dragged a corpse through our Villa.” Kerry didn’t even realize what he had said until V looked down at him.

“Ours?” He asked, his voice dangerously soft. Kerry kept cleaning, just in case he had fucked up by saying that.

“Yeah. Ours. Whats mine is yours, I was serious about that.” Kerry said once he had finished wrapping V’s wounds. “I’m calling Vik tomorrow- Don’t give me that look just let him come and check you out okay?” Kerry kissed his forehead, then went to find him some comfortable clothes. “We’ll shower tomorrow, you need to sleep you look like hell.”

He helped V get dressed then up the stairs to their bed. Once V was settled, he got ready for bed, fully aware of the merc staring at him while he got ready.

V was all in his face once he finally settled down and got a kiss, he hummed and cupped his face, careful of the cuts and bruises. Damn them, fucking up his mainline’s face like this. What the hell was Kerry supposed to hold now?!

“I like us sharing things.. it’s dumb but I like having things that are ‘ours.’” Kerry’s heart melted when he said that, and he knew it was because V was doped up on painkillers but it was still sweet and Kerry wanted to give him everything.

“What’s mine is yours, baby.. I’m yours too.” V gave him a smile, then tucked himself under Kerry’s chin, resting on his chest.

“Mmm me too..” he mumbled before falling asleep.

[vince-linder]

A stranger in my house?!

"Johnny?", Vince's ears perked up, there was an usual, strange sound coming from somewhere... "Hmm?", the rockerbopy stopped his guitar play for a second, looking over to his husband. There. Clearly. Some rumbling noise? Vince really couldnt put his finger on it what it was. "Something is off." He was full on Merc mode, carefully scanning his surroundings trying to find out what was bugging him so badly. "What do you mean Vin?" "I dont know. There is... something. I could swear I heard a strange noise from upstairs." Johnny sighed, placing his guitar down and following up his husband upstairs. Vince looked around, followed the noise closely, until they reached their walk in closet. He opened the door and both of them looked inside puzzled. A man was laying between their clothes on the floor, cuddling with some Kerry shirt from Vince, peacefully snoring. "What the hell." Johnny spurted out first "Shoot him for fucks sake." "Nonono look at him!" "Vin, please. He's a hobo, a burglar, some dirty street rat.", Johnny looked down at the intruder, his gaze turning more angry. "Nah, come on. Some nobody wouldnt get past my security, and you knew that. Bet he is a Merc, or netrunner or anything." Vince knelt down and took a closer look at the stranger, a smile on his lips "Besides he have taste, look at his hair." "You cannot be serious! He breached your security and sleep on your stuff... and what? You wanna keep him?!", Johnny started pacing around angrily through the bedroom next to the closet. "Yeah. Comee on, it isnt the first homeless Merc I picked up and helped back on track." "Vin-" "No, hear me out, if he makes trouble, I am sure I can handle him. Look at how small he is!" "Fine. But if he do one wrong thing, its over."

_____

There it is, nasty new roomate story xD @wingedhorrors Another chapter of Quen does silly VP

[david-tennant-addict]

Sniper smut alphabet <3 if not the whole thing- any letters of your choosing

I LOVE writing headcannons so I HAD to do this

MINORS DNI

Sniper nsfw alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s a pretty quiet guy so he’ll clean up and just want to lay there with you or even go out and lay on the ground or roof of his camper and look at he stars

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His hands. They are good at shooting and killing but most importantly making you cum. For his partner he would like their mouth. The way they kiss him and make him feel like he has butterflies in his stomach makes him go crazy. And what that mouth can do 😏

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He likes to cum inside you and see it leak out of your hole but also likes to cum on your back

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to fuck under the stars in the woods (he’s a simple man with simple tastes)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

None, this man is an introvert so he’s never really dated anyone. Also due to his job

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary and doggy he likes to see your face but with your eyes closed. Eye contact can get him flustered real easy

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Nope.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they?)

He’s trims once in awhile but not too often so he has some hair

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

VERY intimate unless he hasn’t done it in awhile and he spent up then he’ll just fuck your brains out

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

No really unless he’s pent up

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Hair pulling (pulling your hair), a little knife play but not to hurt you but to threat sometimes, and bondage (goes either way)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His camper, outside, his fort, etc.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you wear his hat,or glasses or when you touch him in a certain way

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Hurting you. He loves you so he wouldn’t hurt you unless you really wanted it

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers to receive and he’s pretty good with his mouth a solid 7/10

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on his mood sometimes he wants to go slow and sensual but if he’s pent up he will FUCK your brains out

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not often unless he just needs a little quick relaxation

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Doing it kinda in public (in his fort while the other mercs practice)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go a solid 3 rounds

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own any but if you do he wouldn’t mind using them

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s not much of a tease unless he needs to be (like a punishment)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s 6/10 he’s not too loud but he grunts

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves clothes on sex

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s a nice 6 inch skinny but not too skinny and curves up a little

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

About a 6/10 which isn’t bad but isn’t too much

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

About 5 minutes after he’s cleaned up everything and he knows you’re ok

I hope you liked this!

[shadowron]

Troll Bodyguard: A Better Troll Archetype for Shadowrun (1st Edition)

Art by @skullchicken

In my experience, Trolls are like Deckers: everybody basically makes the same one.

Trolls are the only metatype that get modifiers to all of their attributes, and the only one to get a -2 penalty (to both Charisma and Intelligence). This naturally cuts out several runner roles: 

deckers and riggers (quickness/intelligence/reaction based), 

magicians (willpower/charisma based), and 

rockers (charisma).

Rockers! They make the most useless archetype suck even more

Sorry Bambi

Which isn’t fair! 

For 1st edition, they are the only metatype worth playing!

Trolls get +5 Body and one level of natural dermal armor, so really +6 Body: the most fragile troll is more rugged than the buffest human. Between that, the +4 Strength and +1 Reach - trolls are made for melee combat. 

So what kind of troll character builds do we see in 1st edition?

Core rulebook: None. No dwarf either.

Street Samurai Catalog: Troll Street Samurai

Who, famously carrying an Ares MP Light Machine Gun and Panther Assault Cannon, is ranged combat primarily, with only an Armed Combat of 3. Want to make a real samurai?

Give them one of these:

For those who didn’t bother to click through and read my razor sharp take on the Troll Sam - give them a pole arm (like the actual historical samurai weapon shown above), (Strength)S3 damage with +2 Reach, so against non-trolls with non-reach weapons they’re at Target Number 2. With Armed Combat 6 they’re getting 5 successes on average, staging up the damage to Deadly.

For an unarmored target, this will mostly likely remain fatal. An “average” troll will have a Strength of 7; rolling a Body 6 will only get 1 success on average. Sorry! Need 3 to stage it down to Serious.

But hey - this is why you wear armor! Need at least an Armor Jacket (Impact 3) to survive a troll pole stabbing, and Full Heavy Armor (Impact 6) to have a chance to stab it back.

Pictured: Troll Pole

Sprawl Sites: Former Troll Bounty Hunter

Not sure if this is an improvement over the Troll Street Samurai -- too much reliance on ranged combat.

Also from Sprawl Sites is the Troll Bouncer contact:

While this would actually be a great background for a character -- after all, how many adventures include a club or bar? But I think we can do better. We will do better. 

Let’s make a better troll shadowrunner.

Troll Bodyguard

Following in the tradition of the Decker & Elven Decker, Merc & Ork Mercenary & Dwarf Mercenary, we’re going to make this the metatype counterpoint to the Bodyguard:

Gotta have the Tres Chic clothing...

The human Bodyguard archetype has Attributes at Priority 4 (30 points), Tech at Priority 3 (400,000 ¥), Skills at Priority 2 (24 points), with Race (human) and Magic (none) taking up the rear. Looking at the table:

Always look at the table.

The Troll Bodyguard will have Race at Priority 4, and can still have the same Tech Priority as the human Bodyguard; we can just take the exam same set of equipment and cyber. Take Attributes at Priority 2 (20 points, a ten point drop) and Skills as Priority 1 (20 points, a four point drop). 

Here’s were we blatantly abuse the rules.

Trolls get -2 to both Charisma and Intelligence, but ability modifiers are assigned after attribute points are assigned, with a minimum of 1 and maximum of 6. Other than Essence, which can take on real number values, all other attributes must be positive integers. So if you assign 3 points to Charisma, it drops to 1. If you assign 2 points to Charisma, it still drops to 1, since that’s the lowest it can go. So unless you’re going to assign 4 points (to get a 2), you may as well only assign 1. 

Yes, this erases the attribute penalty, but you are ending up with a 1 for an attribute, so it’s not so bad.

Attributes

Body: 9 (12) Quickness: 3 Strengh: 8 Charisma: 1 Intelligence: 1 Willpower: 5 Essence: 0.2 Reaction: 2 (6)

Since we’re just porting over the Bodyguard’s stuff, we have factored in Wired Reflexes 2 (compensating for the low Reaction) and Dermal Plating 3 to factor in, on top of the natural troll dermal armor of 1, giving us a body of 12. 

Plus Partial Heavy Armor. 

And Skillsofts! 9 of them, to be precise, which will compensate for the loss of skill points. 

Skills

Armed Combat: 6 Firearms: 4 Negotiation: 4 Unarmed Combat: 6

Cyberware

Air Filtration: 5 Dermal Plating: 3 Skillwires: 3 Smartgun Link Wired Reflexes: 2

Gear

Skillsofts:

Bike: 3

Car: 3

Computer: 3

Electronics: 3

Etiquette (Corporate): 3

Etiquette (Street): 3

Etiquette (Tribal): 3

Etiquette (Military): 3

Projectile Weapons: 3

Colt Manhunter (Smartgun Link, Firepower Ammo, Reactive Trigger, Extended Clip) Ammunition (Heavy Pistol, 50 rounds, Explosive) Armor Clothing Tres Chic Clothing Partial Heavy Armor High Lifestyle (2 months prepaid)

Contacts: Choose 2 from

Bodyguard Gang Boss Ork Mercenary Mr. Johnson

[bloodheartz]

Misc. Medic TF2 Headcanon Post

Because I have so many opinions on this silly silly man.

Just heads up I’m not going to be sharing any of my more serious headcanons in this post ^^

Narcissist who experiences mild psychotic delusions and before you say anything I have NPD and experience delusions, this isn’t me stereotyping him because he’s a mad scientist it’s me projecting onto a middle aged man.

Now for an actual explanation I think we can all agree there’s more than enough evidence that Medic has a strong god complex. That doesn’t inherently make him a Narcissist but that as well as his personality and how he interacts with the other mercs is what swayed me.

His internal thought process, especially during battle greatly reflects this. His role in the fight is not to serve and tend to your needs, your role is to protect and serve his current goals. And yes he is very vocal about what he believes your priorities are and how bad of a job he thinks you’re doing. Gets himself in a twist whenever anyone disagrees with his vision on what the team should be tactically be doing.

As for the delusions it’s like 90% me projecting sorry bout that I don’t really have an explanations.

Also autistic king, look at that man and tell me he’s allistic. You can’t. First thing he did after bringing a man back to life was infodump to him about his great achievements. Autistic Narcissist Icon.

Okay now onto completely random headcanons that bounce around in my brain live a DVD player logo

Despite being a muscular 6ft tall man and fall and winter being his favorite time of the year, he cannot stand the cold at all. It gets a little chilly outside and he’s bundled up like he’s gone mountain climbing.

Also generally runs cold, and that (along with just wanting to dress professionally) is why he wears so many layers regularly

Casually I one hundred percent believe he’s a button ups and sweaters/sweater vests guy. He has a bunch of fun collar clips to go with his outfits though, like a wing design, maybe a few with human organ designs.

Also think he enjoys some leather clothing, specifically jackets, boots, and maybe certain types of hats (specifically Scally Caps and Searchers). I could go more into depth on this but that’s for another post ;)

Enjoys drinking, especially beer. That being said he cannot hold his drinks easily. He’ll be one pint in and as drunk as Demo. When the team goes out for drinks they have to deal with him being a giggly mess over half the time.

Spends a lot of his free time with Heavy. Usually quietly reading together in the common area sharing thoughts on their book of choice, playing chess, or even just having gentle conversation, even if sometimes the gentle conversation is in the middle of some ludicrous invasive procedure.

Also cooking and baking for the team together, though that’s less often.

He loves his doves so so so so much you guys. He lets them free roam around the infirmary, and sometimes takes some of them to the common areas on base. He could tell stories about them, rant about proper caring techniques, and just share general information on doves and pigeons for hours, wether asked or not.

Archimedes is his favorite though he’d never admit that out loud.

Oops now I have archimedes on the brain alright bonus archimedes headcanon tangent

He is a horrible horrible little bird (affectionate)

Very territorial and just a very “attitudy” bird. The kind of pet that acts like the world is ending the moment you stop showering them with attention and affection.

Very curious about whatever procedure Medic is doing. “Oh you’re looking inside this person? I better hop in there too!”

Ludwig is of course his favorite person, but I think he would like Misha a lot as well. Flying over the land on his head or shoulder whenever he comes into the infirmary.

He pecks though. The only way he greets people he likes is by a strong strike from his beak.

[mercurygray]

'Hush' or 'plead' for Dick and Joan in an au of your choice, lovely Merc! Juno xx

No AU - just filth for this one. The group chat knows what it did.

NSFW below the cut.

They were both - not to put too fine a point on it - filthy with rain.

The heavens had opened up just as the evening's night problem had been turning for home, and the whole battalion had come back looking (for better or worse) like drowned rats. Everyone had been too concerned for his or her own warmth and wellbeing to notice Joan's quiet inquiry about the use of Dick's private bathroom, or their sudden disappearance together.

He was glad the laundry schedule had left him with a spare towel this week. There was no sense in keeping his own wet clothes on, and it wasn't as if it was anything she hadn't seen. He'd been self-concious, once, about a woman seeing him naked, but he wasn't any more, especially if the woman in question was Joan.

The rain hadn't quite soaked through everything - his boxers, for instance, seemed to have escaped the damp, so he left them on and went to see about a new shirt when something caught his eye.

Joan, too, had stripped down, but she wasn't quite naked yet. A bare wisp of a peach colored silk step-in clung to her curves, breathtakingly beautiful after emerging from her regulation olive-drab.

It was hard for Dick not to stare. "Have you really been wearing that all day?" The places they'd been, the problems to be solved, and she'd done it all in high street lingerie - almost a taunt, one more nod to hidden and unseen depths.

"It was drier than my other things this afternoon - and more comfortable, too." Joan considered his expression and a curious smile appeared. "Is this to be considered contraband, Major Winters?" she asked, kittenish and quiet. "Will you need to remove it?"

"I might," Dick said, his throat dry, feeling the first flush of desire. "You might even be subject to disciplinary measures."

"Oh, is it that serious?" Joan's hair was limp but her smile was dangerous.

"You're in violation of the uniform code, Lieutenant. At the very least it's going to need to come off."

She was beautiful and obscene, standing there in the single, weak light from his desk lamp, faintly glistening with rain. "I'm afraid you'll have to make me, Major."

"I'll add insubordination to the charge sheet," Dick said, without missing a beat, stepping closer to her so he could trace the straps on her shoulders. They were both still dirty from the field exercise, but he didn't care - there'd be time for a bath later after they'd both gotten filthier.

"What's the punishment for that?" Joan asked, biting her lip for a moment as she backed, carefully, into the wall beside the bathroom door.

"Being very slowly and deliberately fucked," Dick murmured, moving one strap off her shoulder so he could kiss her there, moving his left hand to palm her breast. It wasn't his first choice of words, fucked, but he liked the sound of it now, and he used it intentionally. His thumb circled her nipple through the silk, smoothing it around and around as the skin stiffened and stood. "Since this is clearly meant to provoke me it's only fair I answer in kind."

"Does the Major have the patience for that?" Joan asked, one finger lightly tracing the small of his back, just above his waistband.

"He's damn well going to try," he replied. (It was a fair question, and his shorts weren't hiding it.) "And since you were so quiet about it all day," he added, kneeling down to lift one of her legs over his shoulder, and getting a better look at the buttons of the closure, "you shouldn't have any problem being quiet about it now."

The little resigned sigh she gave was more precious to him than gold, and the tender way her hand combed into his hair tested his resolve. You're mine tonight, Joanie Warren, mine and no one else's, and I'll let you know it until you plead.

[aristre]

aristre 🥹🥹pls tell me which UCs gojo, geto, shoko, nanami, megumi, nobara, and yuuji would get accepted into and attend + bonus points if you classify them as college stereotypes

yes baby anything. ANYTHING. for you. guys you can request too don't let aaesuki carry my blog by herself please

jjk characters & universities of california

satoru gojo

ucla

accepted by all the ucs except uc merced btw ty aaesuki for the idea. bro is so mad he drives down to uc merced in his fanciest prettiest clothes to strut around and geto is in the passenger seat like lol (are you serious).

but no ofc he's ucla. dude's on frat row getting wasted and banging every single hot person on gayley. he shows up to lecture once in a while not to listen but to look pretty while everyone stares and whispers abt him. ruins every single stem curve. god i hate him

i think his favorite dining hall would be epicuria because he has fine taste :)

suguru geto

ucla

dude i think he'd go to uc irvine but aaesuki was like no he and gojo go together so whatever. he actually shows up to lecture 40% of the time and has good notes. he sells them for $20 and makes a tidy profit unlike gojo who buys an ipad and proceeds to play temple run on it instead of writing notes.

he goes to peet's coffee after lecture and orders a caramel latte or sthing fruity except when he looks for his meal ticket he realizes he forgot to redeem one. everyone in line gives him theirs

ieri shoko

uc san diego

she is a woman in stem and she hates socializing (i think) so nowhere is better than uc socially distant. if she's not in her single dorm she's in that big ass building on campus where it gets progressively more quiet as you go up and she's in the most quiet floor. i don't go to ucsd

i think she would be in a lab freshman year, doing clinical research sophomore year, and publishing papers junior year. goes to grad school at stanford or something ..

kento nanami

uc berkeley

im so sorry im so sorry i have to put u here nanami. i was gonna say he goes to croads for fun but i can't even say that cuz he would never do that. bro is the guy who tells people in the libraries to be quiet since some people need to study. bro also shows up to every single lecture in the front row and asks insightful questions the profs love him

he rooms w haibara his second year after they get kicked out of the dorms cuz ucb hates providing housing :3

megumi fushiguro

uc berkeley

im so sorry goomi that u would go to uc berkeley. i mean what. go bears! brain like berkeley! anyways dude's on that 4.0 gpa 25 creds a semester 4 extracurriculars shows up to office hours kinda guy. he DOES go to croads but only bc it's close by and he doesn't want to spend money on doordash but he rlly should. he should get doordash

accidentally gets drunk at a party he was dragged too and drunk texts the yuuji + nobara gc but because he's so hammered it comes out like "mile read my" and when they're like what he sends the blurriest selfie except he's not even in it it's his hair and half a finger.

nobara kugisaki

uc santa barbara

yassss prison dorms prison school. never attends lectures, but gets decent grades anyways. often out partying and shopping but also a fan of studying in the library after putting on makeup and picking out a fit good enough to gag the students from abroad. gets dole whip from that one dining hall. yea

hates the lagoon cuz it stinks bad but still goes there anyways when she needs some time to relax

yuuji itadori

uc davis

go!! aggies!!!! let's be real he accepted cuz he heard there were cows and there are cows. he loves the cows. dude i think he would be a target and costco fan he likes to go in there and walk around and stare at everything. except he has to drive to sac to get to target since they don't have one at davis LMFAOOOO ..... go aggies!

got food poisoning from the dc chicken but he still went back for seconds. got food poisoning again. friends had to hold him back but he went for thirds anyways. bonus points to anyone who guesses what happened after

[askbohemiancompany]

Hope(Less)

It had been some time since everyone had come back from the gala. Fun was had by all, but now the crushing responsibilities of everyone who had gone had to be caught up with. 

More specifically, Gwen wanted to put some serious effort into finding Floyd’s killer. She had her fun, got to act goofy even. However, it was time to get back on task. 

The gothitelle knew if she went at it alone, she would get hard checked by the dusknoir. Considering the mon’s abilities regarding portals played in how Floyd was killed based off the autopsy report, Gwen knew she had to have back up. And she knew just the person to help, someone with a similar agenda as her.

“Hey Len. I have a proposition for you.” Gwen signaled the hawlucha over towards her room. This surprised the hawlucha, as Gwen never usually reached out to her first on mutual matters. It was usually Grohl she reached out to first. 

The hawlucha entered her room, which was still like an H&M exploded. Clothing was in piles on the floor, and on her bed were a series of papers. On a desk, there sat the bucket head mask and bucket, which were separated. The flying type just made a mental note of that for later.

“What did you need?” Lenox sounded patient, despite Gwen and her usual rapor. Aside from some odd or boisterous moments at the Mask Gala, the psychic had been well-behaved. So the benefit of the doubt was more than earned.

“Listen. I have been thinking about something,” instinctively, she pulled out her carton of cigarettes. Then, after a brief pause, put them away. “It's about that loose end we both mutually have. That one dusknoir, the one that had a hand in killing your family right?”

Attention now firmly on the markswoman, the brawler was now interesting. “I’m listening.”

Uncharacteristically, Gwen did not give a smile when this was acknowledged. “We both have a mutual reason to want her dead. She had a hand in killing your family. She had a hand in killing Floyd. I think once we receive word of any sighting on her, we should both team up in killing her.”

Killing Floyd? To Lenox’s surprise, she was very adamant about the dusknoir being the killer. The autopsy pointed towards the dusknoir, given how she fought back during the attack on Arcadium. However, the question should at least be presented, to make sure Gwen even considered the prospect.

“Gwen. Please don’t take this the wrong way. I am all for teaming up with you to kill her, but…have you considered the potential if she did not kill Floyd? I know everything is pointing towards her, given how Floyd died, but what if it is someone else?”

Gwen shrugged. “I mean. If it fit, we have to make the hit. Plus even if it isn’t her, at least we get to help you. So no matter what, we get rid of someone who was causing problems for you, well us. ”

There was still the issue of the blasé way Gwen brought this up, however Lenox was not objecting to this plan. She did want to avenge her family, eliminate someone who was a fugitive, and finally get some synergy with Gwen after years of working together.

“I don’t object. Thank you Gwen.” Lenox sounded more gentle and apprehensive. There were still things around the dusknoir that she wanted to be aware of. Keenan’s location, why they did what they did, and the group’s connection to Roldabonz and OPP. She could not shake that, plus out of everything that had happened in the last few years. It had fallen out as a priority for Lenox. Everything had changed, but this one thing. It felt like she was only doing this out of an attempt to try to have a better rapport with Gwen.

Lenox truly felt no hope for her situation, if nothing she felt fear and self loathing.

Elsewhere, in a separate forest several miles away from White Forest, the subject of the merc’s conversation, Delasol, was floating alone. By this point, she was recovering from the injury Floyd left her when she escaped to where it did not hurt anymore to float. No longer did she have stability issues since she recovered from ectoplasm loss. Dela was used to having these bouts, especially since she was not immune to having bouts of dizziness. 

After all, the dusknoir was never without injury when she was assisting Keenan with their raids.

This got her to thinking, where was Keenan? They had been separated this whole time, for this long amount of years and no response had come up. Keenan should have at least been causing some kind of commotion when they would do what they did commonly, cause death.

When it came to Keenan’s drive, it left her envious. They were never resting, they were always planning for the next raid, or how to stick it to OPP. This will was also extended to the others; if anyone wanted it or not. She could attest from all the mental rewiring that was constantly needed to be done to Okyasu to keep him from running away.

Their psychic abilities were to be respected. During their more intimate moments, Keenan would use her telepathy to calm Dela’s nerves before they would do a raid. It was also used during their more intimate moments and heart to hearts.

While the specter had been away from most social media and news for a while, the odds of her own bounty being taken down were low. She needed to reunite with Keenan…or did she? After this entire time separated from the galladvoir the only time any sort of conflict came to her was because of something Keenan ordered her to do.

Any bit of violence that has happened to her was always a result of Keenan’s orders or doing something for Keenan. Granted, her murdering the assassin was to genuinely avenge Okyasu, whom Dela did decide to allow to flee because at the time of the attack everything truely had gone south, she wanted to at least get him away from being killed. Which did not do him any good. She never should have left his side, maybe then it would have saved him.

Keenan should have never let him get dragged further into this cycle. It was not like Keenan and how Dela were. They had met each other and masterminded the escape from OPP. Dela felt she should try to reunite with Keenan…but only to close their matter.

Despite how heavy the deck was stacked against the ghost type, Dela just appreciated the few moments of calm that she had not seen in almost 2 decades. She should take her time in finding Keenan, just to allow herself time to think on her next course of action.

For once, she actually felt hope, cautious, but hope was there, but also a sense of independence away from Keenan.

(Delasol is available for asks)

(My extremely late post for @asksavel hope event)