#making it so all the squad had feminine names

[vesper-roux]

16. Did you ever change an oc's identity when they were already established? Why?

and

17. Do you share identity with any of your ocs? Which ones?

:3

Thank you for the ask! No, I didn’t forget this after my initial read two days ago. 🙃

16: Did you ever change an OC’s identity when they were already established? Why?

Yessss, many times. Between the very early versions of Anthem were being written and now, which my partner has read and been with me for most of its conception.

Rhys, other than being the POV protagonist, was straight in the original story because of 14yo me being heteronormative, then until a few years ago, he was an intentional token straight. He’s now bisexual because I couldn’t envision him as anything else anymore. Not with how this world’s concepts of gender and sexuality are.

Asche… Her original concept was Joanna/Jo/Annie then Astrid for like two days until I fell in love with Asche with major changes to her personality and story, so I don’t think of Jo and Asche as the same character. Nonetheless, Jo was a product of heteronormativity on my part. As soon as I realized I was asexual, Asche reflected that.

Will is my Play-Doh character for gender. Kinda sexuality but to a lesser extent. Other than being a 6’1” cis man, Will was demi/pan. Took a bit over a year to decide, “Nah, you’re 5’ even and ace/pan.” Then a bit longer to decide on only being into men. Then there was a bout of being unable to decide if their story would work better as a girl or boy—my partner advised me that a lot of the mental issues Will has are more represented in female characters than not and wanted to see otherwise, but my feeling was still there. So I was like, “Okay, amab with dabbles in genderfluidity.” Until 2020 when I decided on Will being intersex (mutogender and feeling masc around romantic interests) as I was considering more about the DNA fuckery canon to their universe and how their culture would reflect that. For context, trees that are giant mushrooms that look like purple-striped jellyfish, pumpkins that produce honey, and apples with crystallized skin and syrupy mesocarp exist.

Galen, who was created because Will needed a childhood friend for their backstory (was only going to be in two chapters until I was like, “You’re actually my specialest boy and get the whole series”), started out as gay. Then as Will’s *gestures to the fuckery that is the above paragraph* happened, I thought being pansexual was a better fit for him for about a year, though that didn’t feel right either. Luckily, learning about queer people enlightened me that yes, it makes sense for him to just be gay. 0x1=0. There was a process.

Other than that, no one else’s identities in Anthem were written, much less shown or mentioned, so I don’t count those changes. In other WIPs, no changes have happened yet. I’ve just decided that all my characters are queer until proven otherwise.

Unless it’s Uta Fletcher, in which he is truly the token cishet. Barely.

17: Do you share an identity with any of your OCs? Which ones?

I’m going to have to edit this answer when I wake up because I remembered this ask as I was actively trying to go to bed. I don’t remember all of them, but…

Asche is aroace. She’s pretty chill with people seeing her as something other than her assigned gender.

Will is asexual. I’ve used Will for exploring gender a lot in every direction.

Rinna is also aroace. I’ve not posted about him.

Shepherd (a DnD character) is aroace and an it/its user.

[anurst]

Girl Bradshaw

Summary: Seeing your estranged brother and godfather so close and friendly, makes your insides churn. You lost Pete, the only father you've ever know, because of Bradley. So, why the hell were they acting as if Bradley hadn't hated him for the past nineteen years.

Pairing(s): Jake "Hangman" Seresin x F! Bradshaw! Reader

Warning(s): language, estranged family issues, reader's got daddy issues and brother issues, reader's got a set appearance but feel free to change it you want

A/n: I have the next couples chapters written out already and it could work as a non jake seresin x reader. I was wondering if that's something you'd all be interested in or if I should keep it as a jake seresin x reader

Part 3: All is said and well or is it?

"Bradley?"

The past two years of Bradley's life feel like taboo when he hears your voice call out to him. The fight you two had nineteen years ago comes flooding back to him and guilt pools in his stomach. Your young, crying face flashes in his mind.

The moment your eyes land on Pete behind Bradley, rage sets in. The only man who acted like a dad to you and then cut you off. The man who was the reason you lost your brother was standing six feet away from you.

"Braidy..." Pete whispers as your mouth runs dry. Silent, you look from Bradley to Pete and back to Bradley. He's so different from the teen you knew nineteen years ago. He's a man now. He's taller, his hair is darker, there's faint scars on his neck and face, and most of all, he looks like the spitting image of your dead dad. Looking at him makes you sick, and you force yourself to look at Pete.

Jake, uncomfortable with the tense atmosphere, comes up behind you and places his hand on the small of your back. His touch makes you jump and you grab his arm before twisting it. A pained cry escapes his mouth as the people around you move to help Jake. Realizing what you've done, you let Jake go and take a step away. Your breathing is uneasy and your body feels hot.

"What the hell!" a black man says as he comes to step in between you and Jake. You see more people start to close in and your body goes rigid.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm not good with touch- I really am sorry," you stutter. Jake is rubbing his shoulder blade and looks at you with worry and confusion, except you never look at him because your eyes are back on Bradley.

The rest of the dagger squad now have their eyes on you and Bradley. Natasha is the first one to make the connection. You and Bradley almost look the same. Your features are more feminine, but the similarities are undeniable. The only difference between the two of you is that your eyes are blue, a trait you inherit from Carole. Despite the difference in eye color, Pete's reaction to you proves a relationship between the three of you.

Also, your name is Braidy? Wow, Bradley and Braidy. Your parents were comedians. "Shaw!" a young voice calls out. All eyes turn to see a little blonde girl running towards you. As all your worries and problems fade away, a wide smile makes its way to your face. You crouch down and pick the little girl up.

"My girl!" The girl wraps her arms around your neck and she places her hands on your each side of your face.

"Daddy said to come save you," she mumbled before she buries her head into your neck. You chuckled before patting her back.

"I'm saved. Thank you."

"You have a kid?" Bradley asks, his eyes wide as he looks at the girl who's trying to hide from all the prying eyes. You brush him off before turning to Jake. You sigh again and a guilty and sorry look over comes your face.

"I really am sorry, Jake." Jake simply nods his head and you take a deep breath. "Who brought you here?" you ask Sarah as she plays with your hair.

"Eva." At the mention of the woman, you turn to look at the bar and see her watching you with Zack. Nodding at the two of them, your eyes go back to the girl.

"I'll take you home now. How about I read you a story and we can rewatch that disney movie you like." Sarah nods happily to your offer. You're about to leave when Pete calls out to you. Reluctantly turning your eyes to the older man, the sorry look he has on his face gives you a little satisfaction

"I-"

"Don't. Just don't. I don't care." Heartbreak spreads onto Pete's face at your words. Your heart aches at his face and the memories of the despair you felt when you realized that Pete abandoned you runs through you.

You quickly turn on your heel and start walking to Zack and Eva. Telling them the situation, Zack agrees and gives you the keys to his car. After, you make your way to your friends and tell them you're taking Sarah home. Bradley calls your name and you pray that he doesn't make a scene.

Your friends eyes watch with confusion as the your brother tries to plead you to talk with him. Jensen's the first one to act when he sees the tension in your shoulders. "Sorry, bud, but we've gotta get the little lass home. It's late, you know." Bradley dismiss him as he tries to get you to look at him but your eyes are stuck on the floor.

"Braidy, please. I'm sorry! Please look at me! Talk to me! I'm your brother!" You scoff in disbelief as you roll your eyes.

"My brother left me when I was fourteen. As far as I'm concerned, he might as well be dead cause I've been on my own since freshman year of high school." Sarah's small whimper makes you cradled her head as you calm yourself. "Look, we're gonna be working together. Just stay out of my way and leave me alone, Bradley."

Jensen puts a hand on your back and acts a wall to separate you and Bradley. When your brother tries to get closer to, Carlos and Ethan are quick to their feet to push him back, and Amy and Nolan are trying to stop the questioning eyes from watching any further.

When you make it to the parking lot, your shoulders feel lighter and the night air is calming. Sarah's head becomes heavier on your shoulder and you know that she's fallen asleep. You take the keys that Zack gave you and toss them to Jensen. You strap Sarah into her car seat and settle into the passenger's seat. The drive to the Ramsey residence is quiet and your mind is running at high speed.

When did Pete and Bradley make up?

Why hadn't they told you?

Why did Pete cut off all contact with with you after you told him about the argument between you and Bradley?

Why is it that Bradley is one that always gets a dad while you don't?

Jensen softly closes Sarah's bedroom door behind him as he runs a hand through his hair. After years in the raiders, his footsteps make no noise as he makes his way to the living room. He sees you leaning against the couch with your knees pulled to your chest and your head buried into your arms.

"(y/n)?" he asks softly. You don't move at all and he sighs before sitting down next to you. "You in there?" He bumps his shoulder with yours and you finally look up. Your eyes are blank and he frowns. He's seen this version of you, and he hates it. The last time he's seen you like this was after what happened in Russia.

Before he knows what he's doing, his hands are cradling your face. You let out a shaky breath and your eyebrow twitches as you try to stop yourself from crying. Jensen smiles softly as he brushes your hair out of your face. "There you are beautiful girl," Jensen mutters softly.

That's all it takes before you let your tears fall. You let Jensen pull you onto his lap and wrap your arms around his neck. By now, you're straddling his legs and you face is buried into the crook of his neck. "I hate him, Jensen..." you croak, your hiccups almost making it impossible for Jensen to understand what you're saying. The only thing he can do is rub your back and give you soft whispers of reassurance.

By the time you're done crying your heart out, your eyes are puffy and you feel exhausted. You've shifted from your previous position and decide to lean your head on Jensen's shoulder instead. The rattling of the doorknob sends you both into flight or fight mode and you both relax when Zack walks through the door, a tired and worried smile on his face.

"You feeling ok, (y/n)?" the blond asks you as he moves to set his things down. Silently nodding at him, you grab your things and let him press a gentle kiss to your forehead and thank both you and Jensen for taking Sarah home and staying. You wait by the door as Jensen and Zack exchange a couple words. You know they're talking about Bradley but don't have the energy to tell them to just leave it alone.

Once he's done, Jensen leads you out the door and is at the bottom of the stairs when you stop. You're standing at the top of the porch stairs and look down at him. He turns to you with a confused look and asks what's wrong. "I love you," you say, you eyes staring into his. His cheeks slightly flush as he chuckles.

"I know."

"I'm serious. You're my best friend."

'You're the only person who I really think of as my brother' is what you don't say out loud, but Jensen understands what you're trying to say.

"And you're mine," he replies.

Your eyes are still puffy when you wake up. The sun isn't even up when you rise from your bed. Grumbling, you shut off your alarm and begin to get ready for the day. A day you dreaded once you found out that Pete and Bradley were going to be a part of the team that your own was going to have to cooperate with for a mission.

Knocking at your door stops you from thinking any more about your family. Checking through the peephole, you see Jensen standing with a tray of two iced coffees in one hand and a bag in the other. Opening the door, you let him walk into your apartment.

"Brought you breakfast. Ice coffee and an everything bagel, toasted, with strawberry cream cheese." Smiling, you let him set everything up on the dinner table before sitting across from him. Silence fills the room as you both eat your own bagels. Jensen's the first one to break it. "You gonna be alright today?"

Wiping your mouth with a napkin, you nod. "Like you said, I'm gonna have to be ok with them being here.” Jensen frowns before throwing his trash out.

“Still. Maybe we get Nolan to talk to Chambers. Get them switch out or something.”

You shake your head, “They’re here and this mission is happening.” You wipe at your mouth again and grab your personal things. “Ready?” Jensen nods

You’re grateful that the pilots aren’t here when you and Jensen join your squad in the conference room. Ari enters and requests to speak to you in the hall for a minute. Your team gives you worried looks and you assure them it's ok.

"I heard what happened yesterday," Ari starts and you curse under your breath. "I need to know if you can work this mission." You sigh and look up at the taller man. Your frown causes him discomfort and it's visible in his furrowed eyebrows.

"I can and I will."

Ari purses his lips and runs a hand through his neat hair. "I knew. I knew that your brother was one of the pilots chosen for this assignment. I thought- that you two were on good terms, so I apologize for any problems that have come up." You chuckle softly at his words. Always prim and proper.

"It's not your fault, Chambers. You didn't know."

"I do know that the dagger squad has been stationed at Miramar for the past 2 years."

Miramar? Wait- that's

"45 minutes from here," you whisper and Ari frowns. Pete and Bradley have been 45 minutes from you for the past two years? What a sick joke.

"SOO Chambers?" Pete calls out from behind you and you're faced with the group of pilots from yesterday. Jake seems to light up a little when your eyes meet. Your heart skips a beat and you gulp.

"Captain Mitchell," Ari says, his voice void of any emotions. "Welcome to Camp Pendleton."

"Thank you." Pete's eyes are on you. You take a deep breath in and exhale before turning your head to Ari.

"I'll be inside." You're quick to walk inside and take your seat in between Ethan and Nolan.

"(y/n)?" Ethan asks, his voice soft. You give him a small smile and try to calm your anxiety. The door opens and you stare at your tangled hands that are resting on the table. Feet shuffle around the room and the pilots take their seats on the opposite side of the table, parallel from your team. There's a thick aura when everyone's seated.

Jensen's glaring daggers at Bradley, who keeps his gaze on you. Nolan's having his own staring contest with Pete. You raise your gaze to look at the person who's sitting opposite from you and you're glad that Jake's the one who you see. The dirty blond gives you a smirk and you feel the corners of you mouth start to turn up.

Ari clears his throat while he stands at the head of the table. All eyes turn to him and blinds start to shut while the lights dim. "This needs to end. This mission will not function with all the hostility. Meadows, Mitchell, keep your teams in line." The two men nod and Ari continues, "Your assignment. It's a warehouse that is suspected to be run by an international criminal group. Ghost team," your team perks up at the name. "You're assigned to infiltrate, recover, and asses. From our intel, there's a chance that there's confidential information stored in the warehouse that may reveal more information regarding the criminal group. From there, you'll asses the threat the this group poses and whatever action you deem necessary.”

"Chambers, I have to question the credibility of reconnaissance information," Nolan says and your team shifts uncomfortability. "We don't what a repeat of what took place in Russia."

Ari nods in agreement, "I've already taken precautions. Reconnaissance was conducted by elemental leader Bud Buck, who I know you're aquantanced with." Your team smiles at the mention of the older man.

"That's where he's been?" Amy laughs and Carlos grins.

"You know Buck. Man is made to be in the military and even more a spy," Carlos muses.

"Satisfying enough, Meadows?" Ari asks, keeping his professional demeanor. Nolan steals a quick glance to you and nods. "Now then, that leads us to the Dagger team. While this sounds like a job for raiders, I assure you your skills are necessary. Elemental leader Buck has done some geographical recon and the warehouse is surrounded by enemy missiles. In addition, there's an enemy base located south that's filled with enemy pilots. Your job is distraction and protection. You keep the skies busy and we'll take care of the groundwork. Any questions?"

You raised your hand and Ari nodded at you. "How does a international criminal group afford and set up missiles to guard their warehouse?"

"That relates to the information suspected to be held within the compound. Buck and his group have a theory that they may have serious funding from international government figures. Get the info, and we can trace where and how the money came from."

Sighing, you fell back into your seat as Ari continued to explain how your team would infiltrate and how the pilots would be proceed in order to not get your team caught up in their fighting.

"You'll ship out in 1 week. The weather will be at its best so it won't pose any trouble. With that, I wish you all good luck." Ari stood and respectively nodded to everyone before leaving.

A silence followed and no one moved. "My team is willing to call a truce, if you can put your own personal matters aside Captain Mitchell," Nolan says. He's standing tall, his back straight, his shoulders are square, and his face is tense. You've ever only seen him act like this once. After Russia, when your team was on the ropes and you could've lost everything that mattered to you.

"Of course, Meadows," Pete smiles. Nolan narrows his eyes.

"Good. My team has a scheduled training session right now, so if you'll excuse us." Your team let’s you be the first one to leave the room before following after. As you all make your way to the locker room, Amy holds you hand into the woman’s locker room.

"We'll all here for you," she whispers. You let her give you a tight hug before she moves to grab her stuff and change into her workout clothes. You do the same and bite your lip so hard it almost draws blood.

45 minutes. They've been 45 minutes away from you this whole time. You wondered if they ever thought about you while they having the time of their lives together. Anger filled you and you know one way to get it out. You have to hit something.

Taglist: @potato-girl99981 @winterrebel04 @caitsymichelle13 @darhk-angel @madkill44 @cherrycola27 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @clockworkballerina  @krismdavis @phantomxoxo @piceous21 @laneyspaulding19 @multifandomfangirll @moron-says-what @rhirhikingston @startrekfangirl2233

[nerdynuala]

Hi, love your hcs from last time! Could I make a hange request? I'm intrigued to think about random real life situations of her. Like, I feel like at least once is her life she was bullied, humiliated? Why do people do that with all nerds lol. how do you think she deals with those situations?

Also, (teenage or youth edition) about how is her relationship with her friends, what habits she has in her daily life, I don't know, I leave you free creativity space!

Hello please forgive me, I don't even know how long this has been sitting in my inbox T_T

I haven't been thinking or writing headcanons lately, but I'll give you my best try because heck you sent this so long ago I definitely owe you at least an attempt lol

Sorry again, I hope you can enjoy this anyway.

I've decided to focus on the prompt of Hange being bullied or humiliated more than anything else, but I threw in some things about childhood/youth friendships (truth is, I don't think Hange had many friends as a child or teen) and some veterans

Here we go:

- a classic, Hange wearing glasses since a very young age, she got called four-eyes ever since she started hanging out with other kids. Did it hurt her? Well, she never would admit it, but until the age of 12/13 she did wish her eyesight was better just so that kids would stop making her feel different, in a bad way. She used to laugh it off when people teased her, but in the privacy of her bathroom at home she would squint at her reflection in the mirror and wish she could walk around without her glasses.

- Being a very curious and somewhat savage kid, with a passion for every kind of bug, did not help her making friends. She was called a weirdo for collecting bugs, showing them to every kid, and knowing all the weird names of the insects. But it was her passion, in this case she really couldn't care less what other kids thought of her. She did befriend a boy who also loved bugs and they used to go looking for them in the forest.

- Hange used to get along better with boys. Girls talked behind her back and found Hange dirty and wild, they used to tell her she "should have been a boy". Hange did not care for "being a girl or a boy", she was "just Hange, take it or leave it". Boys did like Hange's company though, they could play more competitive and sporty games with her and she did enjoy every bit of pinecones and stones wars.

- When Hange grew up, as a teen she often wished she could fit in better with girls in her environment, but she caught some of them talking behind her back, saying Hange was not feminine and an intense nerdy weirdo and that no one, boy girl or wathever, would want to be with her. Hange was really independent at the time and was not looking forward to any relationship in particular, but it still hurt because she only wanted someone to be able to talk to and that would listen to her and talk to her with the same passion she put into things she liked. She stopped talking to the girls she overheard, but she never stopped smiling and waving at them when they crossed paths. Hange did not want them close in her life anymore, but that didn't mean she would stop being kind even though they had not been to her once. Hange understood she was kind of different and that these girls probably weren't open-minded enough to understand that not everyone has to be the same.

- What hurt Hange the most, however, happened in her early adult life. Being a scout, a Squad Leader, and most importantly a Titan Researcher, she once had to present her advances in Titan Research to a large crowd of Scouts and MPs, even higher ranks. She put much effort into it and she was sure that, this time, she had a lot of new information about Titans that would thrill and help everyone out. She did present and, in the middle of the presentation she heard some people giggling and making comments she couldn't hear. It bothered Hange because, heck this was a serious matter and it was important to her and to anyone interested in defeating the Titans. She was interrupted by someone from the Military Police who raised his hand to ask, quite literally, "who the dickhead that let her funds for this bullshit was". The dude even had the courage to say that the money would have been better spent for "hiring some sluts to lift the spirits of the Scouts". It was the first time that Hange was at a loss of words and couldn't bite back. She felt like crying from anger and feeling helpless. She normally dealt with people belittling or bullying her by biting back with some sarcastic remark, but her mind went blank. She couldn't finish the presentation like she had in mind and felt depressed for a whole month after that. Her job, her research and the passion she put into it was the most important thing to her. She could deal with people making fun of her for being weird, for being "not feminine", for wearing stupid glasses... But not with people thinking her work was worthless, she discovered.

After this episode, Levi offered Hange a lot of late night tea and even let her rant a lot. He even asked how she knew that titans don't poop.

Also, a few weeks after that, Hange heard rumors that the MP dude who interrupted her presentation was beaten up by a short guy who ended up being stronger than 5 men all together. They said the guy was probably raised in the underground, as he fought like a thug from down there.

Side note, Erwin subtly raised funds for Titan Research and provided her with a brand new laboratory and named Moblit her assistant, officially. Moblit helped her to find the spark she had lost after being humiliated, he gave her a collection of new Titan drawings that were bound together in a new book, which had a lot of blank pages to fill in with new research. Mike and Levi also promised, without sounding too grumpy, to capture a Titan so that they could study them better.

[beautifulsnake2162020]

We have it all (Hualian adopted daughter fanfic) Chapter 3

Gif by fyodcrs

Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction. I only do this for fun.

Premise: Not long after comforting a bullied girl named Meng Ai, Hua Cheng and Xie Lian find themselves adopting her and together they form a family they didn't know they had needed for awhile.

Story/Genre tags: Slice of life-ish (mainly), Family focused, Hua Cheng's houses finally become homes, there may be an overarching story but that's not the focus, Hualian being parents, Fengqing being uncles, Lang Qianqiu falling in love with someone who was raised by the Xianle squad, technically post-canon (though I haven't read the books so if there are some ooc moments please forgive me).

AO3 Link

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Follower tags: @anonimgato1507

Chapter 3

Blood for blood, blood that you take will be cured from the blood that you give. That was both the solution and the condemnation Xiwangmu's oracle gave their family as they gather once again to make their sacrifice. Ji Huifen despised this but he had no choice but to attend to even know the criteria that they chose. It killed him to be away from his wife and child but for the sake of their future he needed to attend.

He passed by the temple of Xiwangmu and prayed for forgiveness for the crimes his family has done against her. He asks her for strength to endure what is to come.

"You need not attend that gathering." The priest serving as an oracle says. There is a feminine touch to his deep masculine voice. Ji Huifen has learned from experience that it is Xiwangmu speaking through him.

"Your holiness I must, for the sake of the child you have gifted to me."

"Then sit on front of my priest and we will attend within the safety of my temple." He does so and the priest presses his thumbs against his forehead.

He breathes and shakes his head at the memory.

He was here to do his job, as a mage serving in Xiwangmu's name. And everything that she has given him has been a product of her mercy. It is only fair that he uphold his end of the agreement. The fields of Jingdezhen have begun to lose their fertility and so he was sent to help restore it.

As he began walking through a narrow path surrounded by a forest and from the city proper he began feeling one or two presences. They weren't distracting so he ignored them for the mean time.

Until he felt himself pulled away by a seemingly sentient silk bandage.

"What the-"

And then the spot he had once been walking on was now occupied by a small needle like object that undoubtedly carried poison. Soon however he finds his way to Jingdezhen blocked by a rain of arrows and needles. He quickly forms a magical barrier to act as a shield.

"Thank you for saving me." He says reverently to the sentient bandage which seemed to nod back. It seems he had been more attuned and concerned about otherworldly threats that regular assassins became his blindspot.

One of the assassins comes out of hiding and continues to block his path to Jingdezhen.

"Prince Ji Huifen, we come here under the orders of King Ji Bocheng of Fu Dao. Tell us where the princess is and we'll leave you alone."

He narrowed his eyes at this.

"Tell my grandfather I would rather die than let him anywhere near her."

"He told us that you would say that." Another assassin says, he doesn't bother turning to where.

"He tells you to stop being stubborn and that the sacrifice is necessary for the curse to be lifted. Other people's lives are at stake."

"He is wrong - he knows what needs to be done. And it has nothing to do with the princess."

The assassins that now surround him begin to unsheathe their weapons.

"Last chance Prince Ji Huifen, where is your daughter? Surrender her to us and you and your wife will remain unharmed for the rest of your lives."

He prepares the magic he uses in his attacks.

"No torture or deathblow will make me give her to you." No matter what happens.

______________________________________________________________

"How did you two meet San Lang and Xie Lian?"

"Um - well."

"It's complicated." Mu Qing finishes while looking at the little girl. There was no doubt that she was one of the few mortals who could sense their otherworldly presence. But of all the questions that she had to ask them did it have to be that one?

"Huh? What's so complicated about it? Don't people just meet each other?"

"Let's just say that we have both known Xie Lian far longer than San Lang." Feng Xin says trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice. Hopefully that would satisfy her curiosity.

It didn't.

"So the three of you knew each other when you were mortal and you met San Lang after you became spirits?"

"Huh, what gave you that idea?" Even Mu Qing began struggling to keep the mask of calm indifference.

"Well he just said that you both knew Xie Lian longer than San Lang so my guess is that you all knew each other when you were still mortal since you both seem to be very close with Xie Lian but only familiar with San Lang."

"Damn she's quick."

"At this rate we might as well tell her that the three of us are Gods."

"Don't be ridiculous Mu Qing!"

"Well it won't be long before she guesses anyway!"

"It doesn't mean we have to confirm it."

"Also you two have the same type of spirit that Xie Lian has. I don't know what type it is yet but you both have a heartbeat but there is a light but powerful aura that doesn't cling to anything. Meanwhile San Lang is a ghost because there is a clinginess to keep his form and he doesn't have a heart beat. He's also powerful since he was able to carry me, but his spirit type is definitely different from you two and Xie Lian's. Um why are you two staring at each other angrily?"

"Oh just reminding him of something. Nothing to worry about Meng Ai." Feng Xin turns to face her not minding the pointed look that Mu Qing is giving him.

"So what do you want to do? Do you want to go to Puqi village?"

"Um I think it's better if I just stay here. Mama says that once I go inside Puqi shrine to not leave the grounds until she comes later to pick me up. She must have seen something in her visions this morning so I would rather follow her."

"How nice of you - see Fu Yao, there is still some good in this world."

"Of course there is, it just doesn't apply to you."

"Why you-"

"Meng Ai, if there's anything you should learn from today, it's to be better than Nan Feng."

"Better than him at what?"

"Honestly, be better at him in anything that you do. So anything else you want to learn from us?" She thinks for awhile as Feng Xin curses him through their telepathic channel and he replies with a snarky laugh.

"Do either of you know how to play Go or Xiangqi? I've always wanted to learn but Baba is busy with his work and Mama only knows Coan Ki." Feng Xin immediately brings out a Go board with enthusiasm.

"Meng Ai, prepare to watch as I make him eat his words."

"We're supposed to teach her how to play first you idiot. How is she going to understand the game if she doesn't know what's going on?"

"Nan Feng, how do you carry a Go board and Go pieces with you around?"

"Taoist magic. And since you want to learn how to play how do you want us to teach you?"

"Um can you explain it to me while I play against one of you?"

"Sure, why don't I teach you while we play against Fu Yao?"

"That would be unfair to her. I'm just going to end up beating you anyways."

"I thought this would be teaching her how it's played first!"

"It is! That's why she should play with me against you first."

"I have an idea! What if I spin this chopstick and whomever the narrower part points to will play with me."

"Hmph seems fair enough."

"Of course she's fair, she's nothing like you."

"PARDON ME!"

"I'm going to spin it now." Meng Ai couldn't help but giggle as she spins the chopstick.

"Ha! See that, the universe chose me to play with her."

"Doesn't mean that you're going to win." Feng Xin says as he crosses his arms as Meng Ai sits beside Mu Qing.

"Um do we play as Black or White?"

"White so that you could make the first move." "Black so that he could move first." Meng Ai laughs and spins the chopstick around again.

______________________________________________________________

Is this how it ends? Ji Huifen asks himself as another wave of assassins emerge from the trees. He's exhausted, and it seems his new friend the magical silk bandage can only do so much. And before he knows it he ends up on the ground and turns to see his would be killer.

Using the last of his energy he blasts them away and knocking them out with his spell. Fortunately it seems that the pathway to Jingdezhen is now open and he takes his chance as he creates a quick mist to cover his escape. Unfortunately he also loses the sentient silk bandage in the midst. He'll thank the being who sent that to him later when he reaches Xiwangmu's temple grounds. The closer he is to the temple, the closer he is to safety. He needs rest more than ever since making the portal going here from Hu village came at a high cost for his energy.

He reaches the city and quickly asks where Xiwangmu's temple was located. Thankfully, he was directed where to go and was quickly taken in by the priest.

"Rest. I have questions but it seems you need rest more than ever."

"Thank you, your Holiness."

And he allows himself to fall into the realm of sleep.

Just outside the temple were two figures, one in crimson and the other in white.

"Good work Ruoye." He gave a little pet to the silk band as he and Hua Cheng enter into the temple grounds. Hua Cheng being in the guise of San Lang. An adept greets them in the entrance.

"Good day you two, how may we help you?"

"We were wondering if you would allow us to stay for a while? My husband and I are exhausted from travelling and we believe we are meeting someone here?"

"Of course, let me check with his Holi - "

"There would be no need adept." The priest who was in charge of running the temple for the day says in a distinctly feminine tone despite the priest's masculine voice.

"Get them some of the best rooms as accomodation. I've already informed the others of their arrival."

"Of course Great Mother." The adept says urgently as they hastily depart from them to do their task.

"So this is how they know it's you." Hua Cheng states in a neutral tone.

"I don't always possess the bodies of my priests and priestesses. But I like to do it every now and then to let everyone know that there is a difference between my being and the mortal body who delivers my messages. Besides, we all have a vested interest in you two learning more of why we want you to adopt Meng Ai. And Ji Huifen cannot do that when he is dead unless he himself chooses to become a ghost."

"Did you know about the assassination attempt?"

"I had a feeling it could happen, Dianxie. But it was only the night before that the possibility became higher. And so I sent an urgent vision to his wife to get both of you to save him." The same adept returned them and began leading them to their accomodations.

"Oh speaking of his wife, I have also sent her to take care of your shrine at Puqi and to also serve as a temporary caretaker in your absence. She'll be there once she has finished her duties for my temple. Since Meng Ai is there, and Feng Xin and Mu Qing are now officially competing on who is the better teacher, I think it shouldn't be that much of a problem."

"Hopefully those two don't destroy the shrine when we return." Xie Lian says sheepishly.

"That's why Meng Ai is there. The little girl has a talent for diverting their otherwise destructive tendencies."

"Ji Huifen is currently resting and regaining his energy. You might be able to meet him later when he awakens. If you need anything else, you need only ask an adept, a priest or a priestess."

"Of course, thank you Xiwangmu." And on front of them she departs from her priest's body who massages the temples of his head for a bit.

"Do you need help?"

"Oh no it's fine, sometimes she's abrupt in leaving our bodies. But nothing that can't be solved with Ginseng tea." His voice now lacks the feminine tone that was present when Xiwangmu was present.

"Anyway here are your accomodations good sirs, dinner will be in a couple of hours. We could send someone to escort you to the dining area."

"Thank you once again." The priest bows to them before making his leave. The accomodations while not as grand as their bedroom in Paradise Manor was still more than adequate but still overall modest.

"Do you think we could discuss things here?"

"We're in a room in a temple of a popular Goddess, there's too many ears for a discreet discussion."

"Hmm good point. Who knows what anyone might do with such information."

"Well." Hua Cheng sits on the bed then pats the space beside him. His expression was affectionate, mischievous and suggestive all at once.

"I don't think anybody could eavesdrop if we whisper. We both also need our rest after we took care of those assassins together." Xie Lian chuckles as he eagerly joins him. They settle in a comfortable position as Xie Lian rests his head in the crook of Hua Cheng's neck and the latters hands are around his waist while his was on Hua Cheng's chest.

"Fu Dao, they were a trading spot that Xianle began trading with. I remember getting excited when one of my uncles would arrive at the palace filled with new goods from there."

"From a trading spot to an entire kingdom. One of the richest since it is through there that foreign goods from the silk road more often than not enter."

"Hmm, but why would the royal family need to make a sacrifice involving Meng Ai? Or more importantly what type of sacrifice would the king interpret to need his great-granddaughter? Surely a wealthy and thriving kingdom like Fu Dao wouldn't need to do human sacrifices."

"We can't rule it out Gege. Who knows what goes on in those walls."

"Hmm." Xie Lian snuggles closer, he finds Hua Cheng's hand and intwines their fingers together. Not to arouse but to savor in the intimacy of the moment.

"How about the royal family? Any idea what could possibly make their king hunt down his great-granddaughter?"

"There's no denying that at such a young age Xiao-Ai is skilled enough to see and talk to ghosts. That much is certain, then add the abilities of her parents and it's no wonder that to those who are discerning she's quite powerful. She just doesn't know how to use it or describe it. But she has great potential, especially if she'll develop new ones over time or if her powers will just grow."

"Do you think that's why they want us to adopt her?"

"Gege, you sound nervous."

"Considering my history of raising children, I'm nervous about making the same mistakes again. What if - what if she'll end up more confused like Ban Yue, or she'll end up too idealistic like Lang Qianqiu?"

"Gege." Hua Cheng shifts their positions bringing Xie Lian to rest on top of his as he caresses his back.

"You may have had a part in raising them, but even they are also the product of their own choices." He gives him a kiss on his forehead.

"Ban Yue is confused because she is still growing up. It's only recently that she is no longer in the influence of Pei Xiu that she's discovering who she is. And that boy who somehow ascended is idealistic and naive not because of anything that you have done, but because for a long time he couldn't comprehend nuance no matter how hard you tried. If you want to adopt her, I know things will be different."

"How?" Hua Cheng smiles as he caresses his husband's face.

"Because this time I'll be by your side, no matter what you decide." His heart was touched and he leaned in to kiss his beloved on the lips. He felt his lips open and he deepened the kiss. Doing anything and everything he can to express how much he loves San Lang. When they broke apart he leaned in to have their foreheads touch.

"San Lang?"

"Yes Gege?"

"We still have enough time for ourselves right?" Hu Cheng closes the gap between them as he brings him closer and sits up.

"Definitely, Gege."

_____________________________________________________________

"Hey! Stop coaching her!"

"I'm not coaching her, I'm telling her every possible consequence of every move she makes."

"How is she going to play on her own?"

"No, Fu Yao is being really helpful, I think I'm starting to understand a bit more now."

"See that Nan Feng, it's called teaching."

"Hello?" A woman's voice calls out from the entrance.

"Is anyone there?"

"MAMA!" Meng Ai jumps from her chair as she rushes out to embrace her mother. Mu Qing and Feng Xin looks out from the window as mother and daughter reunite.

"Oh my little darling how are you? Have you been good?"

"Yes mama, ask Fu Yao and Nan Feng!" Meng Ai leads her to them. Now up close they see that is is from her that Meng Ai gets her amber colored eyes and most of her features.

"Thank you so much for looking after her."

"It's no problem ma'am."

"Just doing our jobs, teaching her how to play Go was an amazing experience." Feng Xin gives him the side eye as he is feeling smug.

"Well I've been -" Her eyes begin glowing and her face goes into a trance.

"What's going on?"

"Mama is having a vision Nan Feng." A few seconds later she shakes her head and looks terrified.

"Aiai, stay inside the living quarters, I need to tell them something."

"Yes Mama." Once Meng Ai was inside she makes a gesture to them to follow her to make sure that her daughter cannot overhear them. She gives a brief bow before they see the seriousness in her eyes.

"General Xuan Zhen, General Nan Yang, there is going to be an attack tonight going toward this shrine."

"What did you see?" Feng Xin asks with the same amount of grimness.

"It seems to be a mix of soldiers, assassins, and magicians. It's the magicians that I'm worried about the most."

"Why?"

"I saw them control jiangshi and other types of monsterous creatures. I don't know how much time we have but if things get worse and should you need to make a difficult choice. Please promise me..." she looks toward the shrine where Meng Ai is. Her eyes begins to water at just the possibility of what may happen tonight.

"We will." Mu Qing says with sincerity as Feng Xin nods in agreement.

"Thank you for your vision, don't worry about us."

"Go to your daughter, we'll take care of everything here." Mu Qing says as Feng Xin begins sending a message through the telepathic matrix of the heavens.

"Thank you generals." She makes her way to the living quarters while they step out of the temple grounds.

One shared look and one shared nod was all they needed to begin making preparations.

AN:

Ji - Hope, huì fēn – bright philosophy

bó chéng–great success

Xiao-Ai - Little Ai

Aiai - Love love I'm not sure if people would actually do this with the name Ai specifically but I read that some names are repeated as nicknames.

Sorry if there is not much uncle moments with Fengqing. Hualian wanted to have a moment.

[afraid-of-squadra]

May I please ask for poly la squadra headcanons (Sorlato included) with my Tira please

https://www.tumblr.com/crazyyanderefangirlfan/708253472236142592/tira-columbina

Also Hi I’m new

Hello!

This is a great amount of info to analyze, so I hope you forgive me if there’re any inconsistencies.

She is probably the closest with Risotto, Formaggio and Prosciutto. Risotto appreciates her softer side paired with professionalism. Prosciutto can discuss how to better other members’ skills and general well-being with her, coordinating their methods. Formaggio likes to mess with her, as he does with everybody else, but at least she’s actually fun.

Risotto is a very busy man that takes no nonsense from anybody. However, he is a little more relaxed in her company – her Stand is very strong, so at least he doesn’t have to worry THAT much about something happening to her.

Ghiaccio is always riled up, and the dolls do get on his nerves every time he sees them in the “wrong” place. He starts screaming immediately, the noise gathering others, and doesn’t stop until Risotto tells him to shut up or Melone manages to calm him down. The worst thing Tira can do is actually argue with him. He will apologize after an hour or so, of course, but for the love of God, have her keep the dolls out of the shared spaces strictly. They have an image to maintain.

Melone, on the other hand, is rather pleased with the dolls. Hell, he’d play with them if Tira asked. Illuso may mock him however much he wants, but if it makes Tira happy, Melone is happy as well. He is very curious about them regardless. Who made them, how long ago, how rare they are, do they have names, does she believe they’re haunted (he’s ecstatic if they are)… He wants to know everything.

Pesci is scared of the porcelain dolls. Barbies and such are fine, but those porcelain, possibly haunted ones… Illuso, Formaggio, Sorbet and Gelato forced him to watch one too many scary movies, please keep the dolls away from this guy or he might get a stomachache from all the stress. That mammoni…

Prosciutto is probably the most fitting and most similar to her out of the bunch. He has a lot of respect and care for her, his gallantry fits compliment her feminine visage, in public they look like a movie couple, and out of that, they probably coexist just as harmoniously, a few specific kinds of situations excluded.

Illuso is an ass, we all know that. No idea how Tira even tolerates him, probably wants to strangle him to death from time to time? He does tease her less than others, though, almost as rarely as he does Prosciutto, for an obvious reason – he knows she’d fight back. If he sees her angry or upset, he hides into the mirror and stays there. However, as rare and unusual it is for him to offer anybody comfort, Tira is probably the only person who gets such treatment.

Formaggio is a sweet guy while she’s on his good side. He doesn’t mind the dolls at all, even shrinking himself to their size as a joke. If she has a dollhouse, he will happily agree to shrink them both to hang out there (who’s useless now, huh, Illuso?). But if he’s in a certain mood or if they had a fight… Well, Formaggio is one of the crueler members of the squad. He won’t start a full-blown Stand fight (by God, he knows he’d lose), but he has many other ways to get on her nerves until they either have a shouting match or she gets so upset he feels bad and immediately tries to make up for his little shit ways.

Sorbet and Gelato are very hard to tolerate unless you are them. Sorbet is mostly just…silent. He doesn’t talk to people. He may love them as much as he is able to love, but he won’t talk to people unless he has something to criticize or money to demand. Gelato is extremely clingy. When he’s not glued to Sorbet, he’s glued to Tira, either following her around like a puppy (more like a bloodthirsty war hound, but anyways) or demanding to cuddle. And if she denies him, he gets upset, then angry and then vindictive.

However much she enjoys teasing others up to smacking them jokingly, Illuso, Risotto and Prosciutto would take none of this shit. Formaggio or Gelato may laugh it off, Melone and Sorbet just ignore it, Ghiaccio grumble but otherwise just take it, poor sweet Pesci is used to it. But Illuso WILL change her alarm to Barbie Girl and hide some of her stuff in the mirror world and Prosciutto WILL scold her for such a show of disrespect. Risotto will just give her a glare and silent treatment. They take their tough guy image very seriously. Especially Prosciutto.

Her kindest gestures do raise a lot of questions to others. Most sigh and move on with their life, Illuso and Formaggio may take a couple jabs at her, but… Sorbet and Gelato are dumbfounded, not in a good way. Sorbet thinks it is unwise (what do you mean, you entertain children FOR FREE?), Gelato, being a cruel man in general, may even sabotage it all. It’s not out of malice or spite (so they assure themselves), they are just concerned that she will “grow soft”.

Risotto and Pesci are by far the most accepting of her being generally a better person than them all. They find it endearing, a reason to love her more. As long as she does everything well, this is a good quality. Formaggio, Melone and Sorbet are always trying to push her to be a bit meaner. After all, if she’s a good person, they feel inadequate. They need to bring her down to their level.

Any time there is a fight between the guys, it eventually turns into “hey, Tira, tell him he’s wrong”, as if she is their mom or something. All in all, them being mostly very competitive as well, they ARE fighting for her attention from time to time (even Pesci tries to do that, except he gets shut down very quickly).

I hope you like these!

[corallianassa]

Overinterpreting Uro Takako's Name

Sorry if this is poorly formatted, I cooked this up in an afternoon and it is hardly a pointed academic essay dissecting her character, more like a desperate yap session rooting around as much in the implications of her character as possible. Had to cut some content even though tumblr supposedly doesn't have a word limit, but before cutting it it wouldn't let me post, so I'll post post the second part sometime later. NAMES. NAMES. NAMES. Names are a central theme to Uro’s character, so when analyzing her I like starting there. Crucially, Uro did not have a name for most of her first life, only being granted one by an official within the Fujiwara clan in order to scapegoat her for him killing his own people. To clarify, Uro Takako is not the name she was given back then, the listed names of Culling Games players are from their modern vessels (evidenced by Yorozu, Uraume, Angel, Kenjaku, and Sukuna all being addressed by names we know to belong to their vessels. Furthermore, ‘Uro Takako’ does not follow the early-mid heian period naming conventions. however, whether they're their original names or not ,I think Gege’s choices for their vessels' name are quite deliberate, including for Uro. URO Starting with the family name, Uro (烏鷺) consists of two kanji, that of ‘crow’ 烏 (karasu) and heron 鷺 (sagi). This is not a random pairing of birds; crows and herons are often paired together in Japanese art to symbolize a yin and yang, black and white contrast. This is reflected in her visual design as well, where her lack of clothes and light hair leaves her completely white in the manga, save for the black sclera, bracelets, and choker, producing a ‘darkness within light’ motif that shows the dark, yang, can be found in the light, yin. Herons can signify a wide range of things in Japan, including negative and foreboding qualities, but the heron contrasted with a crow is generally a white heron. White herons are associated with positive qualities like purity and strength, and are seen as messengers of the gods.

In this color spread, Ryu and Uro are cuntily posed up next to a quote ‘The Flower That Blooms in A Sea of Death…Gets a Second Chance At Life’’. Unfortunately for Ryu, this quote only benefits Uro because he got turned into cake slices by Sukuna. Uro’s last life was characterized vastly more by the ‘crow’, the ‘dark’ in her name - an assassin whose role is to kill people, and as a member of the Sun Moon and Stars squad, she was relegated to the shadows. This is why I think Uro’s second life will be characterized more by the white heron; finding strength and change. Her role is not over yet. The Painting of Lovers Walking In the Snow, (Or Crow and Heron)

To continue about ‘uro’ and the concept of crows and herons, a famous painting associated with this phrase is ‘Lovers Walking In the Snow (Crow and Heron), made in the Edo period. It doesn’t have direct implications on Uro’s character or anything, I just like comparing it. In paintings, white (also yin, represented by the white heron) is associated with femininity while black is associated with masculinity. Especially in tradition, femininity, yin, is seen as submissive, while masculinity, yang, is seen as active and leading. In Uro’s character this association is flipped on its head. Her Heian period life is associated with the darkness in her name, but her entire life revolved around submission to the Fujiwara - denied all sorts of autonomy, including having a name for herself.  The Uro we see in the current timeline in Sendai is boisterous and stands up for herself, unapologetically feminine and strong. This actually makes me like my trans woman Uro hc a bit more, the themes of change and rebirth in both her name and character as a whole jive well with it. Her being seen as a man back in the Heian period while lacking the autonomy to live as herself, to being incarnated as a woman in the modern era with her white heron symbolism about transition would feel poetic and makes her second chance at life even more meaningful. Of course, this symbolism works really well with cis woman Uro too, as going from living in a society as unequal as the Heian period to the modern day would be a major transition in and of itself for any woman. A small note on the painting is that it may depict a michiyuki, a lyrical journey employed in plays (typically near the end in kabuki plays. One of the popular endings for such michiyuki is a double suicide of lovers when their love is at odds with the expectations of society. I like this interpretation for the piece because stories about the Heron Maiden I will look at next deal with impossible doomed love too. A tragic love story with Uro in her previous life is very plausible - if she was denied a name and forced to live in the shadows, it only makes sense that she was denied meaningful relationships, but love finds its way to people regardless. Ultimately, she was executed rather than committing a tragic double suicide, but perhaps she was targeted as a sacrificial lamb after breaking the rules imposed on her one too many times. 

The Heron Maiden

The second piece of classic art I wanna take a look at is the story of the Heron maiden. It feels fitting and poignant when applied to Uro. In it, a man cared for a wounded heron, and after he set it free he met a young woman. She was charming and the man quickly fell for her, leading to the two marrying. The woman was skilled at textile working, specifically weaving silk brocade. She requested him not to watch her as she worked, but one day he failed to resist the temptation and saw there the heron he saved weaving at the loom. Her non-human form discovered, she then sorrowfully left. Its theme of concealed identity resonates with Uro's character, existing as an assassin that was stowed away into the shadows unless needed by her superiors. Her lack of clothing in the modern incarnation can be read as her finally exposing herself to the world, casting off the expectation to be hidden all the time.

A kabuki play about the Heron maiden ends similarly tragically, though rather than the maiden turning into a heron and leaving, she succumbs to unrequited love. A failure to be recognized and seen by others is definitely a theme that can be seen in Uro, so it felt fitting to at least mention. TAKAKO Now, onto her given name, Takako. There’s a lot less to say about it; the first kanji, 亨, means to ‘go well’ or ‘pass smoothly’, generally used in words that evoke prosperity. The latter kanji, 子, is used very commonly in (especially feminine) names and simply means ‘child’.  Not much to interpret, insha’allah she can be a prosperous child in this second life. NOT HAVING A NAME Now, onto the next part of her name; the fact that she did not have one, until the man that had her executed gave her one. Not having a name has very different connotations in the Heian period than it does in the modern period. Having a first and last name was not a universal standardized custom in the Heian period. Those with a first and last name would generally be structured as [clan name] no [ given name], like Fujiwara no Tokihira, Sugawara no Michizane, etc. Important men were also often simply referred to by their title, their personal name at other times. As described in the notes of the edition of The Diary of Lady Murasaki I have, women lacking personal names was common; ladies in waiting were generally referred to as their role/rank/position and a name derived from a male relative’s title or land property. Their name was little more than a signifier of their job and the significance of a male relative. Even lady Murasaki herself (Murasaki Shikibu), her name was merely a nickname (Murasaki) combined with Shikibu (the ministry of ceremony where her father once held power). Rank

Because of this, Uro Takako was likely just referred to as ‘Captain’ (Taicho) or ‘Captain of the Sun Moon and Stars squad’. Between the two, captain is a very generic name and many people would hold a captain role within the Fujiwara, so she was likely often referred to by the full name of the squad. The fact that she lacked a personal name could mean that there was no further identification besides her role of captain - no male relative derived title to add to it. It wouldn’t be a surprise that an assassin that works from the shadows would not be openly associated with any relatives, both for their safety and to reduce individuality. In this context, a man ‘giving her a name’ could easily be interpreted as having a romantic meaning. For a woman like Uro that more than likely was fully estranged from relatives, obtaining a name through a lover or husband (the distinction was somewhat vague and non-codified in the Heian period) would be an option. The man that gave her her name being a lover is the easiest explanation, though a higher ranked man simply granting her a name through other means, like forging a fake personal history for her, is also possible. The Captain of the Sun Moon and Stars squad, a sorcerer squad that stood shoulder to shoulder with the Five Void Generals, sounds like a role that would have similar standing to functions like the Major Captains of the palace guards or military, but these were renowned positions often taken by court nobles, something Uro was decidedly not. It’s clear that despite the implied importance of her role, her social standing was incomparably insignificant compared to those captains.  Because so many functions would rank above her, I can’t theorize much on what position the official that betrayed her occupied. Unfortunately, the only flashback panel we get of him (presumably it’s him, because she gets so mad) is not very identifiable besides the fact he wears formal male courtly clothes. I would expect him to hold some high military rank, as that would connect most naturally with a sorcerer assassination unit.  The Five Void Generals

They’re not the focus of this post, but I want to take an aside to mention them because of their connection to Uro. They are described as standing shoulder to shoulder with the Sun Moon and Stars squad in terms of strength, but in social standing, I presume them to be incomparable. The kanji for void has the radical for tiger in it, so connecting the Five Void Generals to the Five Tiger Generals seems intended. The Five Tiger Generals, while not having direct historical basis, is a popular way to refer to the five top military commanders under a lord or authority, most notably as Liu Bei’s five most prominent generals in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms; Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Huang Zhong, Ma Chao, and Zhao Yun. The Five Tiger Generals were each well-recognized and famous military commanders, completely unlike Uro, who failed to obtain renown. If they are at all analogous, the Five Void Generals would be influential officials and essentially celebrities. For someone like Uro, who led a squad said to equal them in power, this would rub salt in the wound and serve as a symbol of how unfairly the Fujiwara treated her.  Incomplete Source List: https://read.cash/@Mictorrani/sagi-musume-the-heron-maiden-1df5337e https://enmokudb.kabuki.ne.jp/repertoire_en/%E9%B7%BA%E5%A8%98-the-heron-maiden/ https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/article/heron-japan-myth-folklore#:~:text=White%20herons%2C%20noted%20for%20their,or%20symbolizing%20purity%20and%20transition. https://theinkbrain.wordpress.com/2011/11/19/the-heron-maiden-a-japanese-folk-tale/

[panther-os]

Nickels' Penny - Final Answers

Summary and avatars towards the bottom.

Okay, so the survey was still overwhelmingly Price-oriented to the point Penny was going to be a Price clone when she's supposed to be a PriceNik child, but rather than discard it completely and come up with everything on my own, I decided to choose one person's responses for each question.

To be fair to everyone, I randomized it by rolling a d10 (10 applicable questions, 10 responses, it worked out well). Any time I rolled a number I'd previously rolled, I rerolled until I got a new one. So there are some things on this that multiple people voted for, but nobody got their answer chosen more than once.

I did have to adjust the first question. Everybody got really excited about trans Price, which is super awesome and cool but then I was reading the British Army's regulations on pregnancy. Price would not be able to remain in command of the 141 and be pregnant, he would most likely have to retire or take leave of a year or longer - because you know he would be all-in being a dad just as he is being a captain. That's retirement or extended leave is not something I feel is in character for him, and it doesn't work with the other answers I got, so I'm making an executive decision as the author.

I am never doing a public survey for an OC again.

Question 1, Response 7: "How did they get Penny?" This person voted for trans Price being the one to carry Penny and for it to be an unplanned pregnancy. For the reason listed above, I'm changing it to Nikolai, but keeping it as a trans parent carrying an unplanned pregnancy. So trans Nikolai carried (unplanned).

Question 2, Response 8: "When did they get Penny?" This person voted for them to get Penny - so for her to be born - between Modern Warfare (2019) and Modern Warfare II (2022).

Question 3, Response 10: "How old was Penny during MWIII?" This person voted for between 4-6 years old, which works out really well for the answer above, HOWEVER I'm going to have Penny born just a year before MWII. The Kill or Capture mission where Ghost and Soap first met is supposed to have taken place on October 28, 2022, but also the Flashpoint mission where they're both already on the taskforce and working together on the same squad takes place "four years" before MWIII. So, essentially, the timeline is inconsistent and I do what I want. This makes Penny 1 during MWII and 5 during MWIII.

Question 4, Response 3: "What color are Penny's eyes?" This person voted for Penny to have hazel eyes. True hazel eyes are something called heterochromia centralis, which means there's rings of different color around the eye, usually brown on the outer edge, green in the middle, and blue nearer the pupil, or vice-versa. It's caused by melanin production in the iris starting and then stopping before the eyes turn fully brown. Don't quote me on that, it's been a while. But this means Penny has both her parent's eye colors.

Question 5, Response 2: "What color is Penny's hair?" This person voted for Penny to have copper hair, like a penny.

Question 6, Response 6: "What color is Penny's skin?" This person voted for Penny to have pale tan skin like Price's. Someone else also wrote in the comment box a suggestion for her to have vitiligo, and I am seriously considering it, on top of her having the pale tan skin (yes, white people can have vitiligo, it's just not as noticeable as on Black or Brown people, and doesn't carry the same complicated relationship with cultural identity) but I haven't made a decision yet.

Question 7, Response 5: "Is Penny short for something?" This person voted yes, author's choice. Someone else voted Spencer which made me go "ooooh" but ultimately didn't feel like it fit, I would have felt really bad if I had rolled their response. It did give me the good idea to look at names that are not traditionally shortened to Penny, though. I was thinking oh, Russian, Stepan, maybe, and I looked up Russian feminine form Stepan, which took from Stepan to Stepanov to Stepanovna to Anna Stepanovna Politkovskaya. She was a Russian investigative journalist who was assassinated for her work exposing human rights abuses in the Chechen War and corruption in the Russian government. She sounds like someone Nikolai would very much look up to. The actual feminine form of the Russian name Stepan is Stefaniya. So Penny is short for Anna Stefaniya.

Question 8, Response 4: "Is Penny's middle name an otchestvo, a Russian patronymic middle name?" This person voted yes, so Penny's middle name is Nikolayevna. As far as I understand, when being addressed formally, if people were doing it correctly, they would use her otchestvo instead of her surname. So like, if she was getting an award or something, it would be awarded to Anna Stefaniya Nikolayevna or Penny Nikolayevna. Her surname would be reserved pretty much just for legal documents and for being full-named by her family. (Which now gives me the awesome idea for Price full-naming Nikolai including his surname, but I already did that with AleRudy, and I hesitate to do it again so soon.)

Question 9, Response 9: "What is Penny's surname?" First off, rolling two answers that have the same number as their question has me tripping. Second, this person voted that Penny's surname is hyphenated, with Nikolai's surname coming before Price's.

Question 10, Response 1: "What is Nikolai's surname?" This person voted for author's choice of Russian surname. Another option on this survey was Belinski, like another Call of Duty character named Nikolai. I do like the -sky/-ski ending for Nikolai, I feel like that fits him, and then I decided to go with the initial p, because I always think it's funny and cute when couples have different last names but the same initial. I wound up choosing Pokrovsky, which because Russian surnames are gendered just like otchestvos, makes it so Penny's surname is Pokrovskaya-Price.

So, in summary: Penny's full name is Anna Stefaniya Nikolayevna Pokrovskaya-Price, but literally nobody calls her that unless she's in trouble. She was born a year before MWII but is 5 years old during MWIII because of timeline fuckery. She looks mostly like her Dad, as opposed to her Papa, with pale tan skin and red hair - although hers is copper while his is more auburn. She also has true hazel eyes that contain both her dads' eye colors. And even though she looks like her Dad, her Papa was the one to carry her. She wasn't planned, but her dads say she was the best surprise.

I have two avatars, here, they do both need image descriptions, if anyone is up for writing them, I'll add them to this post and reblog it from myself so followers see the new version. The first one is Penny around the same age she would be in MWIII without vitiligo, and the second one is Penny closer to a preteen with vitiligo. In both of them, the eyes are a light brown which is usually the closest you're going to get to true hazel.

Sometime in the next week, I'll type up and post a transcript of an rp I did with Nik and Price ai sort of to figure out more of Penny's personality. I've tentatively titled it The Penny Murder Saga and she is certainly a redhead, that's all I'll say for now. XD I'll include links to the AI as well, they're both really fun if that's your thing.

Thank you everyone for participating and make sure to follow me and/or the "nickels' penny" tag for more Penny content. I can't guarantee it will be often or with any regularity, but it will happen.

[captain-astors]

hi! what about the og quinx squad? :) (sorry for bothering you i just need more tokyo ghoul content and i like to hear people's opinions)

(I forgot about this in my drafts for a bit, I still love doing these) Ooh no worries I'm happy for the chance! I'll start it off short and sweet with my thoughts on the squad as the whole: I love them and their rainbow hair so very dearly. Speaking of rainbow, that's how I'm going to organize them as I rant about the individuals, hair color! so to begin,

Ginshi Shirazu! My pointy-toothed dearest, what is this shark doing outside of his natural habitat, put him back in the ocean. Jokes aside he's definitely the one I will most confidently say I wish the best for. His haircut would make me reconsider my life choices if I saw it in-person but as a work of fiction I like it quite a lot. Tokyo Ghoul is a series in which characters' hair generally follow the laws of gravity to a certain degree, which makes his little sprout stand out all the more. He was with us for less time than the rest but stood out all the more. Speaking of which, my only criticism would be why was he taken from us. Well, more specifically the timing of it Not just because I miss him either, why did it happen in that arc? It wasn't very quinx centric at all, it was about the Tsukiyamas and Haise so to squeeze Shirazu's death in there feels awkward. Guess we couldn't have the extrovert around to be reasonable and uplifting about the entire squad going to hell. As Kuki pondered during the Mutsuki fight, "maybe if we had our ray of sunshine we wouldn't have made the worst decisions of our lives."

Next up on the rainbow, Tooru Mutsuki. Oh my poor son. Look how they massacred my boy. If I ignore the undertones of "being trans is just a coping mechanism and he'll always be feminine and this is directly intertwined to the worst aspects of his character" it can't hurt me. IT CAN'T HURT ME. You deserve better than your parental figure Mutsuki I promise the first man not to shame and condemn you doesn't have to be the object of your affections. I don't know how to knit in the slightest but I'd make him a sweater and teach him how to make garlic bread or something. Disaster. Has done nothing wrong ever and everything wrong ever but I will support him regardless. I just want him to get the chance to heal instead of being given another way to unhealthily supress and hide. I love him dearly. If I had to give one criticism other than the whole. You know. I didn't realize his kagune was supposed to be a Bikaku until I took a closer look at a single panel in a chapter going through it for the second time, it really looks like it was supposed to be a ringkaku, just due to the fact that it seems to be coming from higher up on his back in most panels and takes that kind of tentacle shape.

Alright now, Saiko Yonebayashi! That is the only time I will be spelling her full name, Yonebayashi makes my brain perform a computer reset. A legendary vibe, strengthening your kagune is temporary, shaping it into anime weapons is forever. (I swear I'm not the first person to have this thought so if anyone knows where my brain stole it from let me know.) No complaints, golden standard of characters, perfection in a small package. Okay obviously that was a joke, I suppose it'd be the fact that she isn't really given an arc all her own to change and grow? It makes me sad because all the quinx men are given their moments, and while she has good scenes, where is my Saiko development! Where is my Saiko centric arc! WHERE IS SHE!

And we arrive at Kuki Urie. He's a funny guy to me because we have the same hobbies and similar aspirations to be the best as well as similar rude inner voices, but we're terribly different. Like I can fathom his logic and given the same goal and experiences, I'd do the same but I would never exercise by choice, I will continue being built like a noodle thank you. He's very dense, I like him. I appreciate the role of "the serious one" he plays but there were certainly a few times I just wanted to tell him to shut up and live a little. So that's my criticism. Learn to laugh Urie. Love him.

Now I'm not certain if you'd be including Haise in this but I'm going to for the sake of my own fun. Warning this is going to devolve fast.

Favorite Kaneki, literally just their mom. I wish his reaper transformation had been more like post-Jason, in the way that he's undeniably changed but still you know. A decent person. Instead he's just... whatever reaper Kaneki was. Biggest criticism was Shirazu's death. I don't care how many memories he's regained nor how Urie was being somewhat accusatory, Kuki was grieving, undeniably caught up in the fresh sting of death and memories, and though he did act somewhat arrogant in "why couldn't you save us" that's fairly reasonable. Haise was supposed to watch over them, and he was mainly saying "why weren't you there to say goodbye and comfort him in his final moments, he wanted you there" and despite certainly having at least a COUPLE memories as to Urie's whole complex of “I can’t be weak or rely on anyone because I can only trust myself to be strong enough to save my friends” reaper just says "actually you weren't strong enough to save him it's your fault again." Realistically that would've doubled down on that mentality and it probably did! I wish it was explored more but wow having the closest thing to a parent tell you the death of one of the closest people to you is your fault just like you've feared it would be, would mess up anyone. Moral of the story is love Haise, hate the reaper.

[188-bakeryclubs]

“The first recipe of hers is about how to make the dough puffy.”

𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: ⸝⸝ 📖 🥨 𓂅

Hello... Her name is Louisa Aberline and she goes by the nicknames Loui, Isa, or Uwi which her friends often pick. She is okay with any other cute nicknames since she truly loves them, so if you happen to have one please don’t mind giving it to me as long as it is within proper boundaries and does not hurt the feelings of anything.

Address her with Feminine pronouns and obviously already reached her legal age {perhaps any of you are wondering!} born and raised three birthday charts; cancer moon, cancer sun, and aries rising. If we talk about the MBTI she is owning the INFJ one from the latest test she put up with.

“Please put some particular attention to baking the ingredients!”

𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: ⸝⸝ 🦴🍳 𓂅

Before you follow this account, the foremost thing you must know is I accept all of you who want to make a friend with me without any doubt. Please make sure that you’re not one who likes to ignore others, and also won't interact with/hate my favorites.

She often to tweeting random things about anything that catches her eye. But the ones that you'll clearly find on my twitter is cat video and any cute thing; pink themed; or cartoon! Worry not, her account is totally safe to own for everyone. Louisa like having a thousand energy to socialize but... the battery can also run out quickly :[ hehe.. that's why she seems to like being silent not blabbering with others {except her bf!♥︎} 𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿𓇿

“Let’s put in some secret recipes, Little Chef!”

𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: ⸝⸝ 👩🏻‍🍳🥯🤍 𓂅

Perhaps you are wondering where we met before {from RP, cyber, friendship app, lastly from my alias} her in previous; Alexandra D’Angelo, Zoe Lynelle, Hallie Aberline, and now some of you know her by this name Louisa Aberline. I also changed my cyber username several times, including; amourlunes, amourkid, silkendolls, and pinkofangel.

I am handling two accounts on RP, Kyujin NMIXX, and Leeseo IVE. Had joined/still joined several squads there, including; AmourNmixx, DiveIntoIve, ofHeaton, ofFairChild, TheSantuarios, Reiners, and Karleigh.

“Taste of the cake that she really loves; sweet and soft.”

𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: ⸝⸝ 🧁🫐🥣𓂅

I'd definitely blabber a lot whenever my faves are up, I like something sweet, cute, and fluffy. That’s why I choose myself as a cat person {although in fact I am that realy kitty ^..^} always collecting some unimportant cute stuff if they catches my attention I'll 1OO% run and buy them! My favorite colors; are pink, white, beige, black, and lilac.

She claims herself as a flexible person. Because she can listen to music and watch movies of any genre of it. No specific genre for a movie if it is being widely discussed and the results of the review are quite interesting, so I will definitely watch it. Lastly, I finish my watch list; Chainsaw Man, First Love (Japanese drama), Suzume, and Unlocked. I wish I had enough time to watch other movies too :”c

Put my interest in the 4gen Kpop boys&girls' group, here is my top list of Kpop groups;

ENHYPEN

AESPA

IVE

NEWJEANS

NMIXX

TREASURE

I do also hyping other groups like XG, Fifty Fifty, P1Harmony, STAYC, NCT {all sub-units}, Fromis_9, and many more.

My comfort artists most played songs on my Spotify; Taylor Swift, Arctic Monkeys, The1975, Fujii Kaze

[lanawinterscigarettes]

✨️ (btw..My favorite color is purple if only there was a purple sparkles..🌌 maybe i should use this emoji to help differentiate its sparkly purple!!)

the universe must know we were fated to meet somehow since the timing is in our favor aeron and star anon . im sorry u had a rough day with ur friends!!! i had car issues lmao 😖 and just have a hard time in the holiday season.. but the clara drabble cheered me up a bit though and then i started to pine and yearn 😡 i propose we are the sapphic squad..

you seem to like floral scents which is sooo real - i love rose and jasmine personally. i also like woodsy stuff but lean heavily towards sweet - spicy. i want to get this perfume for my birthday it's called milk+ and it's like this marshmallow scent with a hint of woodsy which im like YESS bc i hate the typical masculine scents but im tired of smelling all..flowery sjdjsghc so hopefully this gives off unisex vibes..gender i love and hate you

oh also the car slipping *was* (idk if this will work in ask format) cute i was filled with joyyyyy I need to think of more saccharine filled prompts

Purple is such a calming color honestly, tbh I used to dislike it but that was only because it's my nana's favorite color (that's my grandma for those who might not be familiar with the term) and I don't like her for several reasons but I've come around to it. And you can change your emoji from ✨️ to 🌌 if you'd like though it's complete up to you <3 (I think it's meant to be a galaxy emoji but it does kind of look like a sparkly purple haha)

Honestly if I could be there to make you guys some warm drinks and your favorite snack I totally would because I know you both deserve it after the day you've been through 🥺 and the sapphic squad is such a neat name it sounds like a team of gay crime fighters lmao

Omg really?? That's so sweet of you to say hehe 🥰 and I completely get what you mean, i have both a bottle of cologne and a bottle of perfume that I like to use at the same time because it gives me both masculine and feminine scents

I'm glad you liked it! My requests are always open in case you ever come up with more ideas for me 🫶

[taiblogcomics]

They're Tiny, They're Toony, They're ALL a Little Loony

Hey there, amber spyglasses and subtle knives. We're getting own to the end on this one, huh? Eager to see where it goes? I hope so, coz I'm eager to show it to you~

Here's the cover:

I think this might be the most exciting and interesting one so far. First, you get a look at Zee and Uncle, she's the blonde and he's the other guy. It's got our characters running in peril, which seems to be a recurring theme. And to top it off, big ominous shadow of danger, which also promises some of the cartoony threats that have eluded the main cast so far. I like the high contrast and flat colours used for it. Additionally, Dick's moustache is also coming in nicely, as you can see. Good cover! If the final issue keeps it up, we may go out on a high note next time~

So what's the scoop? Dick and Mutt, on the run from their own government due to their involvement in a radioactive incident with rogue drone War Pig One, are slowly being transformed by the rainbow gas leaking from said drone. Mutt's been getting more dog-like, and Dick's personality and vocabulary are shifting. They were hunted by, then teamed up with, their Air Force allies Zee and Uncle. Zee's also having transformation troubles, but Uncle's unaffecte so far. And just when they set their differences aside and decide to meet the General, someone drops a nuke on Washington. Ain't that always the way~

We open with a squad of armed guys in hazmat suits. They're reading their equipment, and radiation and electromagnetic levels are normal. All the buildings and structures are intact. The explosion had visual characteristics of a nuclear weapon, but there's no known weapon that can do that without leaving any traces. Curiously, there's no sign of people--at first. And then they make contact. Out of the Capitol building swarm a bunch of cartoon monkeys in suits chasing a raccoon in a general's uniform. That Congress meeting has ended with the senators going ape~

Meanwhile, our protags have wandered into the Pentagon, since everything seems deserted. Zee takes a moment to note that she's undergone some further changes--namely, that instead of the reasonable, realistic build she had for an Air Force officer she had before, she's now got an exaggeratedly voluptuous, feminine build. She's not a fan, but Uncle can't help but admire it. Dick tells them all to shut up, leading them into a particular office. Inside is that same cartoon raccoon we saw moments ago: General Harrier, transformed into a toon by the explosion, standing on his desk attempting to burn some evidence.

They tie the general to his own desk chair, then go looking through the notes he was trying to burn. Among them are the research tapes left by Professor Dubious, and Harrier protests that they shouldn't watch them, as they might not like the answers they find. With that kind of warning, I hope it's not his sex tape. Thankfully not, though I'd hardly put it past Garth Ennis. Instead, it appears to be inside of a cave. The Professor, here still calling himself DuBois, is narrating what appears to be some kind of archaeology expedition. To some, this may be more horrifying.

So we're deep in a cave, and the professor is looking for some ruins he believes to exist due to his readings in the ancient book, the Looneytunicon. Written by the great magician Chuck Jonescraft, I'm sure. First he finds some heiroglyphs. Not only are they grawlixes, but they match the symbols War Pig One has been spewing in its rainbow mist. Then he discovers statues: the Buggoth, the Quacker in the Dark, Scoob Niggurath, Wileathotep… And they all sit at the feet of the dread starspawn himself: Cthluto. It's fair, trying to figure out the relationship between Pluto and Goofy does lead to madness.

Also among these statues, DuBois finds a chest with a latch on the front. Opening it, he finds a set of perfectly-made ingots of a clear material, glowing with power. He muses that perhaps this might be incredibly dangerous. And then he starts getting an idea as the element begins affecting him… Our four protagonists watch in horror, realising what's going on. So yeah, the ultimate secret of this series: cartoons descend from eldritch entities that Man Was Not Meant To Know, and Professor DuBois doomed us all by unleashing it.

General Harrier manages to escape from his bindings while they're reacting to the tape, and they decide to let him go. How much harm can a cartoon raccoon do? This is played parallel with him finding a telephone, implying he can do a lot of damage. Speaking of parallels, Mutt also takes the time to go find a phone of his own, putting in a call to his family. Or at least he tries. In a tragic scene, as soon as his wife answers the phone, he suddenly starts barking again, distressing her further. Dick first yells for him to shut up, but when he realises the situation, both of them break into mutual sobs of how they don't want to be what they're becoming.

They return together as the tapes go on, showing the Professor's further experiments, eventually catching up to when he prepares to introduce it to Unliklistan and renames himself Professor Dubious. Uncle also sorts through the various printed notes and files, discovering some further notes on how Unstablium works. It can be introduced to other elements, where it will react, but it will also gradually build up energy and react on its own. On its own the explosion is clean, while when combined, it amplifies other elements. That's why Unliklistan is a crater, while the explosion in D.C. oly affected the population.

There's another effect as well. If introduced to a sample of its own self, the explosions will cancel out and render the samples inert. So that's our current status: the sample in War Pig One is active, and caused the explosion here. If introduced to another sample, it'll probably cancel this whole thing out. And even the whole source is suspect. Was it really made by dark elder gods? Or did it just affect some natives long ago, causing them to go mad as well, inventing the statues and writings in reverence? It might just be some naturally occurring element in that case.

So they've got a plan! Unfortunately, they've also got a problem. The General has finished his phonecall, getting a bunch of special ops guys into the base. As the General gloats how this will advance his career and make him a hero, one of the soldiers receives a call and confirms his orders. General Harrier pays no attention, caught in his monologue. He wraps it up and commands the troops to fire when ready. They do so--shooting General Harrier into dust, and telling the four Air Force folks that the President would like to see them.

They quickly meet with President Clooney (the vice president who was sworn in earlier in the story), who is now a small cartoon fox. But he's not content to remain such, and he realises the four of them are much more valuable alive. The world's rapidly changing from the Unstablium, and he aims to stop it before everything goes nutty. Dick tells them he has a plan, outlining what they learned from the professor's notes. And the further he gets, the more enthused he becomes. As the comic ends, he's outright twirling his moustache and declaring this to be a job best suited for the four of them: Zilly, Klunk, Muttley, and Dick Dastardly! The rest of them have no idea who he's talking about...

This one's really fun. The cartoon shit's really hit the fan at this point, and we are in full apocalypse mode. I bet that's an apocalypse you didn't have on your bingo card: world doomed to become wacky cartoons. I like how it sets up a bizarre backstory, and then throws even that possibility out the window. Maybe it's true, or maybe it's madness. Either is likely at this point. And in between all the backstory and zaniness breaking out, there's some real character moments. Even in the middle of goofy toon antics and exposition, there's real tragedy happening. Next week, we'll see how this all concludes~

[thistleandthorn-rpg]

Name: Gwen Morgan-Daniels Designation: Domme Age: 25 Birthdate: October 31, 1998 Faceclaim: Renee Rapp Orientation: Heterosexual (deeply closeted lesbian) Kinks: sadism (impact play, knife play, genital torture, ruined orgasms, predicament bondage, sounding), body worship, humiliation Anti-Kinks: pet play, vanilla sex, scat, vomit

 Key Points: - (Austin Fabray's arranged claim)

Maintains a flawless yet icy exterior

Suffers heavily from Dom drop but refuses to address it

Has a soft spot for big dogs, fluffy cats and beautiful girls in pink, feminine lingerie (though that last one is a very heavily guarded secret)

BIO:

Gwen Morgan-Daniels was born into a charmed life, and she knew it. From a young age, she was granted nearly everything she wanted (her requests for a unicorn went unanswered, unfortunately.) The beautiful second daughter of Bart Morgan and Harriet Daniels, there was no doubt that Gwen would make a name for herself in the world. As a child, she tended more towards the arts, finding a love of drawing where her older sister was in every sport imaginable for a young woman. Bart and Harriet weren't exactly pleased with her hobbies, but since Lauren was a star athlete and cheerleader, they weren't terribly concerned with Gwen and her less than desirable hobbies. Which, Gwen was perfectly content with. Her sister loved her artwork, and so did her friends. What else would she need?

Things changed for Gwen when she went into high school. A freshman while her sister was a senior, she felt a lot of pressure to change. She was undeniably beautiful and naturally in shape (if a bit on the thicker side), but her lack of interest in athletics and dating wasn't something the people in her school could comprehend. Lauren defended her sister, but the pressure remained on the younger Morgan-Daniels to conform.

Spring of her freshman year, Gwen became close to a senior girl in her art club. The two of them spent time together most afternoons in the art studio on campus, Gwen charmed by the attention from the older, more experienced girl. One afternoon, her new friend turned their usual hug goodbye into a kiss, gentle and sweet and nothing Gwen had ever thought about before. The experience was fleeting though, as Lauren interrupted them, dragging Gwen away from the older girl.

It was then that Lauren gave her a glimpse into how she needed to behave. Their family wasn't necessarily homophobic, but they had a very set idea of what life would look like for their girls. Lauren was headed to Duke in the fall, pre-med. Gwen was expected to go into law like their mother. Both of them would be Dommes like generations before on their mother's side, and they would claim beautiful men to dote on them before finding rich husbands to marry. There was no room for negotiation in this plan, not if Gwen expected to keep the life she was used to - and to still have contact with her family.

Terrified, Gwen heeded her sister's advice. Over the summer, she started training, determined to become the girl everyone expected her to be. Three months of hard work led to her not only making the cheer squad, but becoming captain of the JV team. She focused on her studies, leaving behind her art classes. She gained a whole new set of friends through cheer, becoming the popular queen bee her family expected her to be. All the while trying not to think about how she dreamed almost nightly of that one and only kiss she'd ever had with another girl.

Gwen chose to go to Columbia for her pre-law degree before attending an institute. It was there that she began to discover what being a Domme actually meant. She experimented with boys on campus, learning how to manipulate to get what she wanted, learning how to give pain and love the cries and whimpers she got in return. Nothing got her off more than a begging, sobbing boy covered in marks and blood, just aching for even a taste of her skin - and denying them even that.

But with as hard as she played, the boys she was with only seemed to want the minute amount of aftercare, which left her feeling lost. It took a bit for her to recover from intense scenes, her mind feeling adrift and almost - depressed. The more she played and ignored it, the worse it got - which only served to add to the anger she felt towards herself for hiding her sexuality. Gwen didn't learn about Dom drop until she went to her first institute, and despite her teachers assuring students it was just as common as sub drop, she refused to admit that was what was happening to her.

Though she had never been a particularly warm person, these secrets she hid made her even icier. The less people close, the less people had the opportunity to find out what she was hiding. Unfortunately her attitude coupled with her penchant for sadism made it hard to find a claim. She played around with plenty of submissive boys, but they either wanted a softer Domme, or a male Dominant in the end.

After her 25th birthday, her father revealed he had a plan for her. A business partner of his had offered one of his sons for her to claim in exchange for a major deal. Initially, Gwen was embarrassed and angry about it, thinking her father didn't trust her to find a claim of her own. But in the end, she found herself accepting the arrangement. Though there was a grace period, after a while, Gwen didn't see a point in staying at her current institute. No one there wanted her anyway, and she might as well at least know what her intended claim looked like. She didn't have any interest in romance or feelings - she'd never managed to have something like that towards a man anyway. It was merely a business transaction, an arrangement to keep them both out of slavery and to keep up appearances.

And who knew, maybe there was a pretty submissive at this Stonewall place who would be able to handle her - even if she wouldn't be able to play with the ones she truly wanted.

BIO QUESTIONS:

What are your feelings about the mark you have received? - Pleased. I expected nothing less considering my family and their background. Anything less would have been shameful.

How do your feelings on the system compare to your parents’ feelings on it? - They are very similar. My parents both have their own claims outside of their marriage, to manage the house and fulfill what needs they cannot get from each other, as well as several slaves. I intend to lead the same kind of life once I establish myself in a law practice.

Where do you see yourself after you graduate?  - Ideally Harvard to pursue law school, with my claim by my side. Whoever it is will have to deal with the New England weather.

How do you feel about authority? - It is necessary to keep things running the way that's best for everyone involved. Of course, leeway can be given in some circumstances but in the end, governing bodies and figures are put in place to make sure the needs of their constituents are met in a way that is most beneficial for the maximum number possible.

[rd-lancaster]

Chapter One

Silas:

"Apollo! Come in! What's your status?!" The radio's sound was muffled by the cacophony of gunshots and the resounding thud of boots hitting the frozen ground.

How did we make so many mistakes?

The mission to extract the illegal drugs had gone unraveled into chaos. As we breached the target building, our enemies laid in waiting. A relentless exchange of gunfire consumed the room. In the midst of the chaos, two comrades lost their lives and our six person squad has reduced to four. The realization that we were outnumbered forced us to dissolve the group and retreat. A rescue chopper was deployed to our location, but fate had dealt me a poor hand. I found myself now racing against luck, pursued by the enemies and fighting to stay alive and unscathed. In a dimly lit alleyway, I managed to shake off the enemy. My radio crackled to life once more, asking for my location. More shouting occurred in the distance and headed towards me. They must have heard and picked up the radio signal.

This thing is too much of a liability now.

With a heavy heart, I silenced the radio and severed the signal, plunging myself into a lonely and risky world. The cold night air stung my eyes and clawed at my face as I ran through the labyrinthine streets, searching for sanctuary. In the distance, an abandoned building came into vision. Closing in, the abandoned building appeared to be an apartment building.

Swiftly, I made my way inside. On the third floor, I selected the first unlocked door, granting me entry to a cold and shrouded living area. Moonlight spilled through the tattered curtains, causing long and ghostly shadows to cast across the room.

My instincts sharpened by the danger, I closed the curtains to conceal my presence. An ominous creak from behind me sent shivers down my spine. Rifle aimed, I waited and watched for more movement.

"Lower your weapon or I'll shoot." A commanding, yet feminine voice cut through the darkness.

"I'm afraid I can't do that." I replied, my voice firm. "Not until I can see you."

Moments stretched until she emerged from the shadows, her rifle locked onto me. Wavy blonde hair framed a face marked by determination, her piercing blue eyes betraying no hesitation to kill.

"There. Happy? Now, lower your weapon." She demanded.

"I don't take kindly to orders from someone I don't know. Who are you? What's your name?" I maintained a cool demeanor and kept a trained aim on her.

Another tense moment pause before she introduced herself. "Ivy. That's all you need to know for now. Your turn."

"Apollo and that's all you need to know for now."

"Fair enough." She conceded. "Now that the pleasantries have been exchanged, you can lower your weapon."

"Ladies first." I quipped, watching a flicker of hesitation in her eyes. "Listen here, ma'am," I continued. "I have no desire to kill you until you try to kill me. Lower your weapon and I swear on my honor that I'll do the same."

"Your honor important to you?"

"Very."

Her jaw clenched, but the weapon eventually descended to the ground. With her face unobscured, I observed the cut on her forehead. A crimson line of dried blood drew down to her eyebrow.

I followed suit, leaning my weapon against the wall with hands raised. "A promise is a promise," I assured, my gaze maintained on her forehead. "That looks bad. How did it happen?���

"Let's just say I made a few enemies today," She admitted, cryptically. "CIA. The SAC."

"You look a little young for that. You have to be what, 24?"

"Close. 25."

"A rookie. Can't believe that let a rookie on the field. Then again, you seem like an unlikely threat. Nobody would suspect you."

Her anger surfaced, her response dripping with irritation. "And what does that mean, sir?"

"Steady now." I urged. "I only meant-"

"Oh trust me, I got what you meant." She retorted, heading towards the kitchen and mumbling under her breath, "Sexist pig."

I stifled my annoyance, maintain a stoic demeanor. "The wound still looks fresh. How long have you been here?"

"It's your turn to answer a question of mine." She interjected, opening a can of vegetables and taking a spoon from a drawer. "Who do you work for?"

"Special ops. Military." I disclosed, settling at the kitchen table across from her. "A mission went haywire. I need to law low for awhile before extraction."

Swallowing a bite of food, her unwavering gaze stayed on me. "American military." She gestured to the flag patch on my uniform. "Good. Otherwise, I would've killed you. The Russian military doesn't exactly have much appreciation for CIA."

Ignoring her comment, I repeated my question. "How long have you been here?"

"An hour." She replied. "The government has multiple missions in Russia. I guess we both ran out of luck tonight."

My eyes shifted towards the open cabinet of canned goods, my stomach churning with hunger.

"Eat if you're hungry." She offered clever grin. "No one's stopping you, big boy." A hint of amusement tugged at the corner of her mouth.

—————

Grace:

If this man doesn't close his mouth while he eats, I'll kill him in his sleep.

My patience wore thin as I maintained an unrelenting gaze, the intensity of my silent fury evident every time he sloppily shovelled another bite in his mouth.

"You need to clean that wound." He finally broke the silence, his voice a strained attempt at camaraderie.

"And take my eyes off you? Not a chance." I retorted, my suspicion unrelenting.

He sighed, frustration tracing lines across his tired face, as he dropped the spoon back into the can and leaned back in his chair. "I swear to you that I'm not a threat. We've got to establish some kind of trust between us."

"And what do you propose to achieve a certain level of trust?" My scepticism deepened.

"Tell me more about yourself." He suggested, a hint of exasperation evident in his tone. I couldn't help but laugh, seeing annoyance flash across his face as his eyes rolled in response.

"Why on earth would I do that? You must be stupid to think I'd give out any kind of personal intel about myself."

"Just a suggestion." He muttered, his patience wearing thin. "If you want to live in fear for however long, be my guest or just leave. I couldn't care less about how a coddled rookie feels."

I sprang to my feet, then tension in the room escalating "And I couldn't care less about a trench monk-"

Apollo erupted from his seat, slamming his fist on the table with a commanding thud. "I'll only warn you once: watch your mouth and give me some respect." His voice was cold and stern.

I squared my shoulders. "I'll give you respect after it's been earned."

—————

A gruelling hour of tension passed, suffocating the room. Unspoken words hung heavily between us. After shoving his chair back under the table, he had retreated into the living area. His brooding prescience filled the space as he casted a disgusted glare in my direction. My gaze settled upon him as he shed his combat gear, revealing a black t-shirt and cargo pants. The worn leather couch creaked under his weight as he settled into it.

Breaking the silence, I finally spoke, my voice laced with both annoyance. "There's only one bed in the apartment."

"I am well aware," he snapped, his eyes fixated on the wall ahead. "Given the circumstances, it would be best if we take turns using the bed. While one rests, the other can remain on guard."

"You take the first sleep shift. I'll stay out here and keep watch," I offered, though my tone still carried a sharp edge, drilling holes into the back of his head.

"Ladies first. Besides, do you even possess the necessary skills to handle that firearm, or were they conveniently omitted from your training?" Sarcasm dripped from his lips.

"I do not require any special treatment, and I can take care of myself just fine. So, your sarcasm is unnecessary, insufferable prick," I retorted, my frustration seeping into my words.

He turned to face me head-on, his gaze piercing. "Go. To. Bed. Now," he commanded, his words barely escaping his gritted teeth. "I will wake you in a couple of hours."

Despite my seething anger, I begrudgingly stormed towards the bedroom. As I settled onto the bed, my eyes caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror.

He was right. The gash on my forehead required care. I had not realized the extent of the injury until now.

My cover had been blown. After months of establishing myself within a Russian drug cartel, a leak in the intelligence had compromised our mission. My partner, Sam, had sacrificed himself to divert their attention, giving me the chance to escape. I had managed to survive, despite a grazing bullet wound to my head. At the time, I hardly felt it, my focus consumed by the desperate need to escape and the loss of Sam.

Hot tears welled in my eyes as the memory of Sam's lifeless body hitting the ground replayed in my mind with a sickening thud. We had been building a partnership, and he was so close to retirement, with a loving family awaiting his return.

It's all gone now. How will they break the news to his family? How does one even deliver such devastating news? If they even know... I am the sole survivor of our pair and have no options to communicate with my superiors.

Gently, I dabbed at the wound on my forehead, blinking away the tears that were brought by the memory of Sam.

Apollo's voice startled me from my thoughts. "A wet washcloth won't do much to prevent infection. You need alcohol," he remarked from the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Why do you care?" I snapped.

"I simply assumed that even a rookie would know better than that," he retorted. "There are medical supplies in the bathroom cabinet. Use those instead."

Holding up the alcohol soaked gauze, I scoffed. "Of course I knew to use alcohol. I am not an idiot,"

"My mistake," he chuckled lightly, his voice softening. "I will wake you at 0300. Get some rest. You’ll need to be well-rested for your shift." With that, he left the door slightly ajar before his footsteps carried him back to the living room. I could hear him settling onto the creaky couch as I settled into the bed.

Despite my initial fear that Apollo might kill me in my sleep, I found myself unable to keep my eyes open any longer. The more I thought of him, I began to slowly trust him. Perhaps he was just as scared as I was, attempting to maintain a tough exterior to snuff out any thoughts of betrayal.

What a messed up world we find ourselves in.

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

face claim: Chella Man

full name: Harley Hua

nickname(s) / goes by: Harley

pronouns & gender: trans-masc nonbinary

sexuality: pansexual

birth date: May 27, 1999

birth place: Merrock, ME

arrival to merrock: Local, moved to New York for five years, then came back

housing: downtown apartment 

occupation: artist

work place: instructor at The Color Wine and a tour guide at From Brush to Canvas

family: Mother and father (in town), brother (lives outside Merrock)

relationship status: single

PERSONALITY

After so many years of shame and confusion, Harley has a strong grasp of self for the first time in his life. This shows through in his confidence, his courage, and also his kindness towards other people. He is always there for his friends, or for a stranger in need. Harley is a playful workaholic; between his two jobs, consistent gym routine, his own art, and making time to enjoy hobbies and hang out with friends he is always on the go. He rarely gets eight hours of sleep, as evidenced by the insane amount of coffee he drinks daily. But he wouldn't change anything, because his life is interesting and fun and it's *his*. 

WRITTEN BY: Elle (she/her), 25+.

BACKGROUND / BIO

triggering / sensitive content: audism/ableism, transphobia, gender dysphoria

Harley grew up in Merrock with his parents and his older brother. He was an active kid, involved with gymnastics and later cheerleading as well. He loved to swim and surf, and spent as much time as his parents would let him at the beach or the community pool.

Although Harley passed his hearing test as a baby, when he was in kindergarten he didn’t pass his screening at school. His parents took him to an audiologist and was diagnosed with mild hearing loss. A few months later, another test showed he was gradually losing his hearing. Technically it was Harley’s decision whether or not to get a cochlear implant. His parents never intentionally influenced him one way or another. But his doctors had advised his parents not to teach him sign language, insisting that without sign language he’d learn to read lips and would function much better around hearing people. The problem was that Harley never really picked up lip reading anyways, so his only option to communicate with people was to get the cochlear implant. At first he hated it. Everyone sounded like Donald Duck and inanimate objects all sounded so machine-like. He slowly got used to it and appreciated being able to hear his friends and family again, but he remembered what things were supposed to sound like so he never found himself satisfied with the quality of audio that came from his implant.

At the same time, puberty was not doing Harley a lot of favors. He never cared too much about his body growing up; he wore the most androgynous clothing his mom would let him and made a face but sucked it up whenever he had to wear a leotard for gymnastics. As he entered middle school and made the cheerleading squad, there was suddenly a lot more pressure to look more feminine and fit in. Baggy tshirts were replaced by form fitting clothes, and his basketball shorts were regulated to nighttime wear in favor of skinny jeans and short skirts. After spending all of elementary school barely being able to communicate with the people around him, he wanted so badly to just fit in and feel like everyone else around him. He’d look at his own reflection and see a stereotypical teenage girl and while he could appreciate that she was beautiful, it felt like he was looking at someone else and not himself. He knew deep down that he wasn’t ‘her’, but he didn’t know what that meant or how to fix it. After high school, Harley moved to New York to pursue a degree in illustration. His childhood dream had been to write a comic book, but drawing the pictures that would appear in childrens books was the next best thing and a more realistic way to make a living. His brother had also decided to go to new york for college, so they were soon living together again. He became involved in his school’s gender-sexuality alliance and soon learned about the transgender community. And suddenly a lot of things started to click. As he was figuring out his gender, his brother was extremely supportive. Once he had worked through everything and decided he wanted to transition and start going by Harley, his brother stood by him when he came out to their parents. But his parents’ reactions weren’t as warm. They still loved him - they made sure to tell him that - but they also insisted that this was just a phase. Considering they had been very accepting when he came out to them as bisexual (actually, pansexual, but he had told them he was ‘bi’ just because it was easier) a couple years before, this was not the reaction he had expected from them

During Harley’s freshman year of college, he met another deaf student who introduced him to the local Deaf community. He kept going to events and even dated one of the guys he saw at a lot of events, which required him to learn ASL.

His plan after he graduated was to stay in New York and find work as an illustrator. But this turned out to be harder than he realized. He struggled to find good paying jobs, which meant he had to keep working as a bartender and just do art on the side. At the same time, he and his boyfriend broke up and his brother took a job in Missouri. So Harley decided that maybe it would be a good idea for him to leave the city as well.

Luckily for Harley, he had a much easier time getting his foot in the door in his hometown's art world. With his degree, he was easily able to get a job at The Color Wine as well as a tour guide position at From Brush to Canvas. He has mixed feelings about being in Merrock again, around a lot of people who he's barely seen since he was a teenager. But mostly he's excited for it to feel like home again.

[marvelsswansong]

tornado warnings

summary: out of all the girls Eddie could like, of course he'd pick Jason Carver's girlfriend. He kept ignoring the warnings, and now he's in too deep.

tags: Eddie x fem!reader, pining!Eddie, friends to lovers, requited love but both parties are idiots, Dustin trying to talk sense into Eddie, cw for Jason being a misogynistic asshole, song fic, pure fluff, slow burn ish, oneshot

☆ word count: 6.5K+ (she's worth it i promise) ☆

⚠️ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.⚠️

It's sprialed out of control. Eddie knows that now.

It's as if he's been struck by lightning, the realization jolting him awake when your fingers deftly brush against his whilst you pass over the chemistry pop quiz. The touch lasts for less than two seconds, accompanied by a friendly smile and a quiet "good luck" thrown in, but it's enough for him to falter and almost let the paper slip from his fingers.

It reminds him of the first time you two met, late after school - you because of cheerleading practice, him because of detention.

Eddie was exhausted. Having shown up late to school with mismatched socks and his roleplaying notebook forgotten by the driver's seat of his van - not that it mattered anymore, considering he had to cancel tonight's session due to detention - he swore that the world was out to get him.

It was half past five and the spring rain was unrelenting, the pitter patter of water droplets against glass windows drowning out all other noise. Eddie scowled, not even the weather was on his side today. He'd have to make a run for it to his car, with nothing more than a floppy notebook to hold over his head.

His footsteps faltered, however, when he heard a feminine voice swear followed by the clattering of metal. Peeking his head around the corner, he was met with none other than the sight of you struggling to open up your locker, delicate fingers fumbling with the lock desperately.

"Oh for fuck's sake." you swore, trying the combination again and pulling the lock with all your strength to no avail. Dropping your duffel bag onto the floor, you tried again, this time grasping the metal lock with both your manicured hands.

No luck.

Sighing, you dropped your arms and fell forward onto your locker head first, before perking up and looking around for someone to ask for help - perhaps a janitor would know how to deal with this. Your eyes met Eddie's, and his eyes widened in an instant (fearing the worst, being caught staring wordlessly at one of the most popular girls in school) but your eyes lit up with recognition and joy.

"Hey! Eddie, right?" you called out, waving him over.

You knew his name? Eddie was simultaneously flattered and shocked, considering you two were separated by several stratospheres in the popularity pyramid. He was in your Advanced Physics class junior year before he dropped down to regular Physics, and even then you sat by the front row with the rest of the cheerleading squad whilst he doodled in his notebooks at the back.

"Do you think you could try opening up my locker for me? I left some important notes in there and my European History test is tomorrow, so I really need them." you sheepishly added, leaning against your locker. Eddie hesitated for a few seconds - was this a trick? Why were you being so nice to him? Why was the smile on your face so pure and so genuine, never once faltering?

Ignoring the sirens going off in his mind, he wordlessly nodded and walked up to your locker.

"The combination is 8-1-8-2."

He spun the dials around and tugged at the lock, but it remained stuck. He tried again, being extra careful to spin the numbers to the exact digit this time, but it still didn't budge.

"Nothing?" you questioned anxiously, peeking over from behind his shoulder. Eddie just grinned at that, hand flying to his jean front pocket to fish out an extra hairpin.

"Maybe not. Hold on."

Bending the metal pin straight, he fumbled with the little hole at the bottom of the lock, until a satisfying 'click' rang out. He was then able to finally unhook the lock and open it up to the contents of your locker - textbooks and folders spilling with notes neatly piled up at the bottom, with a Dior perfume, tube of lipstick and a jar of gummies sitting on the top shelf.

He was about to make a lighthearted joke about the gummies when the joke died in his mouth at the warm sensation of your arms wrapping around his waist, face buried in his shirt as you joyously embraced him.

"YES! Thank you so much, Eddie, you are a lifesaver!"

The sudden burst of affection was totally foreign to him and his senses were going haywire - overwhelmed at how your hair was tickling his exposed skin, your sweet scent (notes of caramel, honey and vanilla) evident but not too strong from this proximity. He fumbled over what to do with his arms, not knowing what was appropriate to do, before awkwardly settling on patting your back with his left hand.

"It's uh, no big deal." he managed to stutter out, small grin on his lips. A grin far outshined by the massive one on yours, bubbly laughter flowing as you quickly dug out the notes from your locker before slamming it shut and locking it back up.

There was another foreign sensation now beginning to register in his brain. Warmth, pleasant fires kindling in his lower stomach, an ache in his chest to have you close to him again. And his next sentence was blurted out before he could even think through all the repercussions.

"Do you need a ride home? Since it's raining and all."

"Yeah! That'd be great."

Following the locker incident, you began to wave at him and exchange quick greetings with him in the hallways. It was a minor change, a verbal acknowledgment instead of silent smiles and polite nods, but that didn't stop others from giving Eddie dirty looks. After all, why was the most popular girl in school giving any time of her day to the resident school freak?

Truth be told, he didn't understand it either. But he wasn't going to complain either, only returning the gestures wholeheartedly. This amicable state of acquaintance - knowing each other's names and being friendly, but never crossing the line into friendship - was broken less than a week later, when he was sitting in Mr.Wilson's office and being lectured about how he really needed to get his grades up.

"I've assigned you a tutor. She's one of my star students and she's kindly agreed to tutor you for free, so please do show up on time and try." the elderly man sighed under his breath, pushing his metal rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose before shuffling through a stack of papers.

"Her name's (Y/n). I'll leave the specifics of the arrangement up to the two of you, but the expectation is one session every week or two. Understood?"

"Understood, sir."

So here he was now. Standing in front of your house, double checking the address scribbled down hurriedly onto his notebook for the hundredth time, agonizing over what to do. Should he knock? Ring the door bell? He was a few minutes early, maybe it'd be best to just wait for you outside-

"Hi there!" you exclaimed, throwing open the door excitedly, making him jump back in surprise. "Come on in, we can go up to my room."

Your hands were preoccupied with drying your wet hair with a towel - it looked as if you had just emerged from the shower, the thought of which made his throat dry, a dirty sight he had to immediately scrub from his mind. Not that it worked particularly well, not when you were wearing an oversized black t-shirt that showed off your legs and the cheerleading shorts you had on hugged your thighs perfectly.

Carefully eyeing the living room and kitchen, he half expected for your parents to jump out and begin to interrogate him as to his identity.

"Are your... parents around?" he'd asked quietly, fingers anxiously twiddling by his sides. You shook your head sideways.

"My parents work out of state most of the time. My godfather drops by every few days though to make sure I'm fine though."

He raised his eyebrows at that, following behind you up the stairs.

"Doesn't that get lonely?"

You hummed, dabbing the last droplets of water from your forehead.

"I guess so. But Hopper - my godfather - has a lot of friends in the community so I get invited over to a lot of things. Plus cheerleading and school stuff keeps me pretty busy so it's not too bad."

You then pushed open the door to your bedroom with your shoulder, stepping backwards to let Eddie in first.

He marveled at how well organized your room was: sunflowers potted by the windowsill, a collection of vinyls leaning against a propped up vinyl record player playing a slow Whitney Houston song. White wardrobe pushed against the wall next to pastel pink drawers, makeup and skincare products neatly placed one after another.

Your cheerleading uniform was ironed and nicely draped over a cushy velvet chair, a full length body mirror with polaroids of you and your friends stuck to its sides on the white wooden frame.

You led him over to your study desk, pristine and white, and gestured to the chair to your left. He was still drinking in the sight of your room as you closed the door shut and hung your towel over the frame of your bed - which was complete with frilly lace sheets, pink and yellow cushions, bumblebee patterns stitched into the fabric.

In summary, Eddie thought, the whole room was so damn... clean and cute. A stark and sore contrast to his messy room, unfolded laundry everywhere and his walls crowded with his guitar and various metal band posters. He was just grateful now that he had insisted on doing the first session at your place instead of his.

"Everything okay?" you questioned, noticing his silence and awed expression. He blinked at you wordlessly at that, mind blanking in an instant.

"Yep! Amazing. Awesome, really. Just very stoked to get started on this exciting English Literature." he boasted, tapping his hand down on the thick textbook. You giggled at that, leaning against your chair.

"Listen, I know that Steinbeck and Fitzgerald aren't as exciting as Iron Maiden or Black Sabbath, but I promise you that there's a charm to these authors as well."

"You know about Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath?" Eddie perked up at that, pleasantly surprised. You rolled your eyes playfully, as if it was common knowledge.

"Duh, what else would I listen to whilst I jog? I can't say I'm as big of a fan as you, but I do listen to a bit of everything and metal is a cool genre."

It was his turn to chuckle, leaning forward onto the table to rest his head on his palms.

"You know, (L/n), you're not at all like what I'd expected you to be."

"What'd you mean by that, Munson?" you challenged, quirking up your eyebrows teasingly, his heart skipping a beat at the action.

"Nothing bad, I promise! Just, I don't know, your friends aren't as friendly or as cool as you."

You click your tongue at that, faux frown on your glossy lips.

"But aren't we friends? And you're plenty cool and friendly."

Friends. The word felt heavy on his tongue, goosebumps rising on his skin. Plus, you'd called him cool and friendly - by far the nicest thing any popular student had ever said to him. All logic flew out the window at that moment, walls tumbling down faster than the next words on his lips.

"Of course we're friends."

It was dangerous territory, a quiet voice was nagging him in the crevices of his mind that this was totally new and treacherous - accepting the friendship of the most popular and desired girl in school. The sirens were blaring in his head, red warning signs clouding his vision.

But Eddie consciously chose to turn the other way, running farther into your embrace.

"Cool. Glad to hear it, friend."

Once the initial hurdle was jumped over, the label of 'friends' hanging over you and Eddie, everything fell into place. Weeks flew by with tutoring sessions filled with inside jokes and excited ramblings, with Eddie taking every chance to insert a dirty joke in somehow to make you laugh.

He walked you from class to class at your insistence, your sharp glare at any staring passerbys enough to shut them up. Conversation was never awkward, there was plenty to talk about. His D&D sessions, the latest Metallica record, the next football game that Eddie would begrudgingly turn up to (but ultimately always would, just to be able to hug you in celebration afterwards).

It was all platonic, he told himself. Sure, he thought you were pretty and fun, but that didn't mean anything. He had it all under control, he reasoned, no, insisted. He was feigning igornace, arguing with his inner voice that it was all just excitement and nerves over having a friend who was popular.

"A lot on your mind?" you asked him a few months later, tongue swiping across the top of your ice cream, legs uncrossing underneath your cheerleading uniform.

You'd insisted on celebrating his first A in English Literature by going out for ice cream - "it's on me" you'd added, making it impossible to say no. It was a sizzling hot summer day and both of you were seeking refuge under the shade of a large willow tree, sitting on the roof of Eddie's van with him only a few inches separated from you.

'Yes.' Eddie wanted to say. 'I can't stop thinking about you.' he wanted to confess. 'I hear your laughter whilst I fold my clothes. I see you in the corner of my eyes everywhere I go, laying on my sofa with your legs dangling off the armrest, smiling at me in the rearview mirror from the backseat of my car.'

But he didn't say that.

"Not really. Just still reeling from the fact that I got an A." he joked, choosing to suppress his inner thoughts.

"Aw, well, you're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for, Eds. This is just the beginning, I know it."

Humming, he shot you a quick wink.

"I'll take your word for it, doll."

Both of you fell into a comfortable silence after that, until a loud shriek was heard from inside the ice cream store. A girl Eddie vaguely recognized from one of his classes was nodding fiercely and hugging her boyfriend close, making his eyebrows raise in piqued curiosity.

"Oh, probably just a promposal for the dance next week." you commented lazily, tongue flicking at the top of your cone.

"Are you... going?" Eddie tested the waters, eyes cautiously picking apart your reaction.

"Yeah, I am! Jason's being really difficult about the color palette we're matching as though. He wants pink and blue, I'd rather we do yellow and blue or pink and white."

Eddie's vision flashed white at the mention of Jason's name, bone chilling cold seeping through his chest.

"Jason as in... Jason Carver?"

You nodded, and the pain he felt upon seeing the fond smile that spread across your lips instantly felt worse than a million needle pricks at his heart.

"That's him. He can be kind of difficult at times but... he's my boyfriend and I love him, you know?"

Eddie knew he'd never have a chance with you. He never deluded himself into that fantasy, but now it was confirmed, written in clear black and white: you were taken. Not only that, but you loved Jason Carver. He was your boyfriend.

It made total sense. How had Eddie not noticed it before? Perhaps you had mentioned it to him previously, an off the cuff comment here and there, but Eddie wasn't listening carefully. Too intoxicated on your quiet giggles, too busy admiring the golden sunlight kissing your hairline.

It was impossible to prevent the smile from dissipating from his face, a forced grin instead replacing his genuine warm smile.

"Yeah. Makes sense, I guess."

"How about you, Eds?" you excitedly asked, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. "Anyone caught your eye that you want to take to the dance?"

It burned his mouth to respond, heart throbbing, fingers strained by his sides.

"Yeah, but uh... I don't think I'll be able to make it, so I'm not going to ask her."

You frowned at that and there were a few drops of strawberry ice cream hanging from your lips, which Eddie reached out to wipe away with his thumb instinctively.

"S-sorry." he muttered out, retracting his hand quickly as if he'd been burnt.

"Yeah, you better be." Jason barked out from behind Eddie, making him straighten up in alarm, not having heard Jason's car pull into the parking lot.

The jock glared at Eddie as he walked around to wrap a possessive arm around your waist, pulling you right against his figure. Your widening smile was unmissable, so was the way you kicked your legs forward in delighted joy when Jason suddenly swooped down and pressed a harsh kiss against your lips.

Eddie awkwardly averted his gaze as Jason continued to glare at the metalhead from over your shoulder, deepening the kiss possessively, his vice grip only loosening from your waist when you patted him on the back indicating that you needed air.

"Ready to go, babe?" Jason asked, not even missing a beat. You nodded, scrunching up the paper cup in your hands and throwing it away to the nearest bin.

"I'll catch you round?" you asked cheerfully, linking your hands with Jason and shooting Eddie a hopeful smile. The smart answer to give would've been to make up an excuse, to cut the friendship there and for good - especially with how Jason was steaming with anger next to you, blue icy eyes narrowing in on Eddie's figure.

There was a storm brewing, toxic smoke billowing into the air. But Eddie stood there, unwavering, only nonchalantly rolling back his shoulders and winking at you.

"Yep. See you round."

Jason's hatred for Eddie only intensified as time went on - you'd tagged along to a D&D session once and the jock found you leaning over Eddie mid-dice roll, metal ring clad fingers on top of yours as he guided you. Eddie waited for you after school whenever you had late practice to drive you back home, only for Jason to then pop out of nowhere and insist on driving you home (though he lived in the opposite direction from you).

"I don't fucking trust you, freak." Jason once spat the moment you ran off to the bathroom, leaving the two men to be standing around your locker. "I don't know what the fuck my girlfriend sees in you, but you better not be dragging her into any of your shit."

Eddie clenched his jaw, fists grasping and ungrasping by his sides in an attempt to control his anger.

"Relax, Carver. We're just friends."

Jason just rolled his eyes at that, stepping forward threateningly.

"Yeah, friends. Just don't get your dick hard thinking she's yours. She shouldn't be wasting her time on you anyways."

Eddie's blood boiled at the way the basketball player talked about you, wanting to control and dictate everything you did.

"She's not property for you to fucking control, jackass." he retorted, only succeeding in causing Jason's nostrils to flare with fury.

"I'm back, and I- Oh." you paused, noticing the tension lingering in the air and the defensive postures. "Is everything alright?"

The boys stared at each other silently, hatred still tinging the air, but it all melted into fake smiles on both their faces when turning to you.

"Yep." they both affirmed.

"Everything's... perfect. Just as it should be." Jason slowly drawled, eyeing Eddie up and down. It was a threat, an alarm bell ringing right by his ears. It dawned on Eddie that this was becoming unavoidable now, the mess that he was in, his love for you an unstoppable tornado.

It was incredibly reckless to continue to be friends with you. But god, it felt so damn good.

So out of selfish nature or not, Eddie didn't pull away. He chose to clutch on to you tighter, grit his teeth harder, damn all the consequences that would follow. He'd wander closer into the eye of the storm, wholeheartedly and willingly, all for you.

Though Jason wasn't silent about his unhappiness over your friendship with Eddie, you never let it affect you. So Eddie continued to be your friend, maybe even best friend at this point after six months, what in between Saturday movie nights and late evening talks on the bleachers after practice.

Eddie forced himself to be content with being your go-to platonic company: of helping you pick out a dress for your date with Jason whilst leaning against the headboard of your bed, carrying your things for you at school as you rushed to class after cheerleading practice, laughing with you over a pack of cheep bear in someone's backyard during a loud house party.

It hurt - doing all the things couples did, but under the label of friendship and under Jason's persistent gaze. After all, Eddie was the one to hold your hair back when you'd had too much to drink at the end of year summer party, helping to wipe your mouth with a stray towel and gently guiding a water bottle to your lips.

Your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen, having ditched you the moment his fellow basketball players called him over. It made Eddie furious, how it seemed Jason only wanted you as a trophy to show off to the school before abandoning you in favor of his friends, but you seemed to be blind to it.

Besides, Eddie reasoned, who was he to intervene? Overall, you were happy, right?

The metalhead wasn't even in the bathroom with you for more than three minutes when Jason came pummeling through the door, chest heaving with anger upon having been told that you were seen stumbling into an empty bathroom with Eddie 'the freak' Munson.

The jock never said it - at least in front of Eddie - but it was clear that he suspected something more than friendship, you two always tilting dangerously close into romantic territory. Jason ordered Eddie out, insisting that you were in need of your boyfriend instead of him, and with a heavy heart Eddie sighed and wandered back into the party.

He still thought about you the rest of the night though, no matter how many jaegar bomb shots he downed.

Come autumn, and it wasn't just Jason who saw what was going on. At this point, you were beloved by everyone in the Hellfire Club and you'd even swung by Eddie's trailer multiple times. Wayne and the kids would all tease Eddie for his clear infatuation with you, which Eddie would vehemently deny, though he knew deep down they were right.

"So are you ever going to admit that you like her?" Dustin teased, knocking his shoulder into the older boy's.

They were sitting on the railings of the skate park, the boys having lost a game of rock-paper-scissors with Max to pick between going to the arcade or to the skate park. The redhead was busy coaching you on how to skate - your legs wobbly on the skateboard as Max held onto your arms, wide amused smiles on both your faces - whilst Lucas and Mike ran off to the corner store to get some water.

"What, (Y/n)?" Eddie tried to play dumb.

"Duh, who the hell else?" Dustin retorted, appalled that his friend would even try to feign ignorance.

Both boys picked up their heads at the sound of loud laughter, your back on the pavement as you seemingly fell, Max laughing so hard that she had tears in her eyes and was hunched over to clutch her stomach. The fond smile gracing Eddie's lips was instantaneous- you were always so good with the kids, they all adored you. The boys pestered you for gaming tips, Max and you bonded over music, Erica thought you were the "coolest adult" she knew.

It made Eddie fall even deeper for you, his heart now fully in the eye of the hurricane. You were ripping down all his walls, your laughter destructive and haunting. You left him dizzy and stumbling through the hallways, heart heavy with infatuation, lips aching to be on yours.

"There. Right there." Dustin commented, pointing right at Eddie's face. "You get that stupid grin on your face whenever she smiles or talks or shit, does anything really. We all have bets on when you're finally gotta make a move, so when are you?"

Eddie shoved off the curly haired boy, fingers scrambling to brush off the sleeves of his jacket in false boredom.

"For the millionth time, Henderson, she has a boyfriend. Said boyfriend, who by the way, hates me and frankly I don't feel like being a homewrecker." he spat, venom dropping from his voice at the thought of Jason. Letting out a short exhale, he flashed the younger boy a tired smile.

"Besides, we've been friends for like, what, over half a year now? The ship has sailed, I've got no chance."

"You're just saying that because you don't see the way she looks at you." the younger boy insisted. "Seriously. Friends don't look at each other like that."

Eddie had nothing to say to that, you looking up from the opposite site of the skate park to wave at the two boys with delight, which they both quickly returned. The fluttering in Eddie's stomach was easy to anticipate at this point, as was the heavy pang in his heart at the realization that Jason would be coming to pick you up in a short bit.

"She's just being nice, Dustin." Eddie muttered, running a shaky hand through his hair.

You looked ethereal whilst skating, so carefree, hair flowing in the wind as your knees bent and braced for the dip off the edge. Fading red orange sunlight accentuating the dip and curve of your facial features, autumn foliage stuck in your messy hair.

You'd come into his life, a tornado, and destroyed his whole being. He was wandering alone now, knees brushing up against green fields with nothing but trees surrounding him, but Eddie didn't mind.

So long as he got to continue to watch you smile like that.

Cut to the present, Eddie's mindlessly filling out the pop quiz, brain still fuzzy from your touch lingering over his skin, ghostly yet ever so present. The rest of the class flies by and it's the end of the school day, so Eddie quickly moves to shove his things into his bag, crushing all his paper notes with the haste with which he does so.

"Any plans for tonight?" you ask, tossing your bag over your shoulder.

It's Friday night, which to everyone else means parties and fancy dinners, but to Eddie it usually means going back to the trailer and watching a rerun of a shitty sitcom over a bowl of microwave mac and cheese. Not that he'll tell you that, though.

"Not really. Why, up for another spontaneous drive through town?" he teases, heart fluttering hopefully. You sigh and shake your head sideways.

"Can't - Jason's taking me out on a date, but... rain check for maybe next Friday?" you question, peeking up from your lashes.

"Sure, next Friday." the bitter smile and forced ambivalence to his tone is painful, but it's a dull ache he's made peace with at this point. "If anything changes, you know where to find me." Eddie jokes, cocking his head to the side.

And unexpectedly, things do change.

In the blink of an eye, it seems.

Eddie's mid-way through the rented copy of Evil Dead, hands stuck in a greasy bowl of popcorn as he lies chest down on the sofa, blue light from the television illuminating his tired face, until someone bangs against his trailer door furiously.

Jumping up at the sudden loud noise, he pauses the VHS tape, abandoning his bowl of popcorn on the couch before throwing open the door.

It's you, mascara running down your cheeks, arms crossed over your chest, clutching at your skin so harshly that the baby blue dress you're wearing bunches at your waist.

"I broke up with him." is the first thing you say, voice shaky, body still trembling. "He said some, fuck, awful things, Eds. Really awful things. I had no choice and I know it was the right thing to do but-"

Your voice breaks as another wave of tears overwhelms you.

"But then why does it still hurt?"

Eddie's quick to shush you and envelope you into his arms, not caring that your makeup is probably smudging against his shirt, his hands coming up to comfortingly cradle your head against his chest. Your body trembles with every sob that escapes your lips and Eddie presses a soft kiss to your hairline, wishing nothing more than to take your pain away from you.

His mind is whirring with a million different things to say to you, but your comfort is on the forefront of his mind above all.

"Hey... have you ever been to the park by Saint Street? You know, the one with the playground." he quietly suggests, pulling away slightly.

You look up at him, confused, wiping your eyes.

"I don't think so, why?"

Picking up the jean jacket thrown over his kitchen counter, he digs out his car keys from the side pocket and extends his left hand out for you to grab.

"Because. We should go. It's impossible to be sad at a playground."

It's a stupid thing to say, childish even, but it does the job of putting a smile back onto your face, your cold hands grasping his warm ones. It's a quick drive - no less than 15 minutes - but he can't help but look over at you at every intersection and red light, making sure that you're okay.

He jumps out first to open the car door for you before helping you climb over the metal fence - "no one comes by, I swear" he assures you - shaky feet meeting dead leaves and dirt, he's quick to tug you towards the swing set.

He refuses to let you talk - "play first, until you stop crying" - and he insists on pushing you on the swing as high as he can. He chases you down the slides then races you to the top of the jungle gym, drunk off of your bubbly laughter and the way your eyes twinkle in the moonlight.

Neither of you know how much time has passed before you two sit across from each other on the seesaw, ribs hurting from the lack of oxygen. You can faintly make out Eddie's features in the dark - moonlight illuminating his curls, amused grin on his handsome face (the same face you've been unable to stop thinking about for the past few months).

"So what'd Jason say?" Eddie asks, leaning forward. "But only if you wanna talk about it, of course." he clarifies.

You let out a slow exhale, nodding tiredly.

"No, no, you... you deserve to know. Jason was on edge at the restuarant - I didn't think much of it, he's always a bit on edge - but he just went crazy today. Like, the moment the waiter left he started screaming at me, accusing me of cheating on him."

"Cheating on him?" Eddie strains his neck with the speed with which he picks his head up to stare at you, wide mouthed. "You? You would never!"

You scoff at that, thumbs anxiously twiddling on your lap.

"I know. That's what I tried to tell him but he wouldn't hear it. Just kept on going and on about how I was clearly in love with-" you stop yourself then, the gravity of the situation falling into place like dominoes.

You just broke up with your boyfriend of nearly a year. You came to Eddie crying, showing up at his doorstep in a heartbeat. Now you two are staring at each other in the park, leaned over opposite sides of a fucking seesaw, pouring each other's feelings out into the chilly winter air.

"With who?" he furrows his eyebrows and you almost want to laugh at how oblivious he is. You suppose maybe you've been hiding it well - well enough for Eddie to not notice how your touch has always lingered a bit too long on his skin, how your head so easily found home in the crook of his neck, how you began to prioritize meeting up with him over your fellow cheerleaders.

But not well enough for Jason, eagle eyed and jealous, constantly hovering over your interactions with Eddie and deluding himself with the gossip around school that you'd gone further than that.

"You."

It's whispered, heart falling to the bottom of your stomach at the confession now lingering in the open, cold and heavy.

"M-me?" Eddie stutters, clearly taken back. You lick your lips, chapped and dry, your shaky breaths coming out in small whisps of white smoke.

"Yeah. Jason insisted that it was clear that I was cheating on him with you and that we were spending way too much time to be just friends, and he... he called me a lying slut. Straight up. Screamed that I was whore to my face, demanded to know how many times we fucked behind his back."

"W-we never even kissed!"

"Yeah, I know." you chuckle sadly, shaking your head sideways, blinking away new tears which spring to your eyes. "But Jason didn't believe me. I dumped him, left him with the check and... I don't know, didn't feel like going home to an empty house. And I just... all I could think about was how much I wanted to see you."

Eddie doesn't know what to say to that. So he takes the safe route, nodding sympathetically and flashing you a small grin.

"Well, I'm glad that you did. I hope me dragging you to the playground wasn't the wrong thing to do." he teases, attempting to lighten the heavy mood. It works, soft grin tugging at your face.

"Yeah it definitely wasn't. Coming here was perfect."

The night breeze blows against your bare shoulders and it hits you that you really aren't dressed for the outside. Even if winter is only beginning to slowly roll in, it's still chilly enough to see your breath in front of your eyes in puffs of smoke and you've been sitting still on this seesaw for a while. So Eddie steps off to shrug off his jacket, musky earth tones warming your senses as he places it carefully around your shoulders.

"Thanks." you mutter, fingers grasping the lapels of the fabric.

"Don't mention it." he responds, waving you off.

A few beats of silence pass and then you throw your head back, staring up at the night sky full of stars.

"You know, weirdly though, I'm kind of relieved."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Deep down, I knew it wouldn't last. Too many red flags, you know? I just keep on ignoring them because... I don't know, really. Don't like change."

"I get that."

"God, feelings suck." you chuckle, shaking your head sideways. "Don't they? Pining, infatuation, love."

Eddie hums, nodding along.

"I'm there with you. For example-" he pauses. He's staring the storm right in the eye now, he has to made a decision.

He's tired of running, he decides.

"The girl I've been fawning over for almost a year now has been totally blind to my love for her and I'm exhausted." he makes it a point to stare straight at you with an unwavering intensity. "But she's worth it."

It's a shot in the dark but there's a surge of courage and adrenaline pumping through his veins, and the dark makes him more bold. He blames it on the wind rush, the night high, how beautiful you look in that velvet blue dress.

"She sounds like a very lucky girl." you choke out, mind blanking unexpectedly. Eddie nods and walks up towards you slowly, your throat running dry under the intensity of his stare.

"Yeah, and she's incredible, too. Head cheerleader. Great English Literature tutor. So funny, so kind, so damn beautiful, especially in blue. Great with kids, loved by my uncle, and I just heard-" his left hand comes over to brush up against your cheek. "That she's single. Funny how things work out like this, huh?"

You nod wordlessly, entranced by his warm brown eyes.

"It is."

You stand up cautiously, never once breaking eye contact with him, leaning in closer and closer. Eddie's expecting you to pull away from him in any instant, disgust springing onto your face or apologies falling from your lips, but you remain still. Your lashes fluttering shut is the last sign he needs before he commits to closing the gap and kissing you squarely on your lips, knocking the cold air out from your lungs.

It's a cold night but his skin's on fire, left hand springing up to cup your chin, other hand supporting your neck as he tugs you in even closer. You taste like cherry chapstick and smell like French perfume, velvet fabric brushing up against his arms as he backs you up against a park bench.

It's a messy kiss, all teeth and tongue, but he can't give a fuck. Not when his heart is soaring, fingertips electric, mind hazy at the realization that he is finally kissing his dream girl after a whole year of pining.

"Holy shit." you manage to say when you two pull apart, hair slightly messied and lips wet and plump.

"I hope that's a good holy shit, princess." Eddie teases, the nickname causing your stomach to flutter with butterflies.

"It's a good holy shit. A really good holy shit." you confirm, nodding fiercely. You both laugh at that, warmth blossoming across both your chests.

"W-why didn't you ever say anything?" you stutter out, head still reeling from the passionate kiss.

"I wanted to. God, I wanted to so many times. I knew I was falling for you from the beginning, all these little indicators and signs and the intrusive thoughts. But I kept on ignoring them and by the time I realized I loved you, I knew you were with Jason and you two seemed happy. And I didn't want to be selfish and intrude on your happiness like that."

He tugs you down onto his lap, sitting both your bodies down on the metal bench. Your hands come up to carress his cold cheeks, trembling thumbs rubbing up and down his jawline, eyes admiring the freckles on his nose and the specks of moonlight in his hair.

"Well, no need to ignore those warnings anymore, huh?" you say quietly, voice heavy with adoration.

He just nods, head falling forwards to rest on your chest, hearing your soft heartbeat through velvet fabric.

"Absolutely."

Eddie ignored the tornado warnings.

But in the wreckage, you two found each other, hands desperately grasping each other's in the darkness.

Burrowing his head into the crevice of your neck, he's content to stay with you in the aftermath of the disaster, so long as you continue to grip onto him like this.

a/n: this was based on the song with the same title by Sabrina Carpenter! Please go stream and support her new album, 'emails I can't send', it is fantastic and there are so many other bangers on the album.

Speaking of which, the way that the metaphor of the tornado is used in the song is kinda different from how I used it here but idk, I thought it was a cute concept and the song motivated me to write it haha. Not sure how this fic will be received but I loved writing it :)

[storiesofsvu]

Censured Ch 11

Warnings: Language, talk of the SVU job TW: eating disorders, smidge of angst? More so sad beans of characters. also SMUT

**

It had been a few weeks since Casey had officially re-instated her career at the DA’s office and with SVU, you were absolutely thrilled when she ended up taking Greylek’s case, knowing how much Greylek would hate it. And just how ironic it was that Kim had taken over Casey’s job and spent years spreading nasty rumors about how she’d being disbarred (and worse). The squad was quick to welcome her back (or simply welcome her for the newer ones) you still kept your relationship on the quiet side, not that you had issues but you didn’t need the office and home overlapping too much. Alex was back a week after Casey returned, and the team was ecstatic to have not one, but two very competent A.D.A’s finally working with them. 

You ended up having to take the stand in Greylek’s case since you were the one who’d done all the digging and sneaking around that warranted her arrest, which is exactly why you spent that morning at the courthouse. Normally when you testified you opted for more feminine clothing, wearing a pencil skirt and silky blouse, hair loose around your shoulders and earrings in your ears for once, a pair of heels on your feet rather than the regular boots. Casey was more than impressed with how well you handled her questioning and even more impressed with the way you handled Buchanan’s hostile tactics towards you. 

Over at the precinct, Sonny rapped on Benson’s door frame, waiting for her to look up before he asked his question,

“Whitlow coming in today?”

“Oh…”She shuffled through something on her desk, “She was in court this morning, I asked her to swing by Novak’s office to pick up some warrants when they recessed.” She handed him a file, “Take this to Novak and meet Whitlow there before you do your search.”

“Thanks Cap!”

***

You certainly were over at the DA’s office with the warrants, only thing was you were also certainly heavily distracted by your girlfriend. Casey had barely been able to control herself with the amount of times you’d cock an eyebrow or shoot back a remark to Buchanan as you questioned him, she could see the tension growing with Greylek at every comment. Not to mention that change in appearance (not that she didn’t see you in more risqué outfits at the bar all the time but there was something insanely seductive about a woman in a skirted suit). You’d complained that Olivia had told you to wait there for warrants on a different case when Casey suggested a better way to pass the time. Thankfully you’d only been briefly attached at the lips when the call came in that her assistant was there to drop them off. 

Currently, Casey had you pinned against her desk on your back, rumpling the paper work under you, your skirt rolled up to your waist, breathy gasps coming from your mouth as her lips attacked your drenched pussy. Your hand dug into her hair, doing your best to keep it in a mock ponytail as your hips bucked up against her, gasping out her name. Casey chuckled, the vibrations making you whimper out as she slid two fingers into you, relishing in how fucking much she loved the taste of you. Her lips sucked around your clit as her tongue moved to play with it, fingers pumping and curling in and out of you, you were in a state of complete euphoria, free hand clasping with hers, fingers interlocking. You felt the burning inside your body nearly about to burst, you were so fucking close, both of you so distracted, eyes closed, not realizing you’d forgotten to lock the door.

“Hey, sorry if I’m interruptin’….” Carisi’s voice rung out through the office, “Oh fuck, I’m definitely interruptin’! Sorry!” He yelped, turning away from the two of you, hand covering his eyes like a child. Casey barely pulled her face away from your core, continuing to finger fuck you.

“Sonny!” You half yelled, doing your best not to moan at Casey’s ministrations while saying your partner’s name, “You’re  still here!”

“Okay??”

“Carisi GET OUT!!” Both of you managed to yell out. Your hand flailed before finding a stapler to whip across the room, hitting him in the shin. He promptly scrambled out of the office, very careful to make sure the door was properly shut. He still needed to wait for warrants and honestly was pretty used to your shenanigans by now (though he certainly wasn’t used to walking in on that), pouring himself a cup of coffee from the outer office, settling against the counter, not sure how long he’d be waiting. Less than 5 minutes later, Rita came into the outer room, she gave the detective a brief nod before moving towards the door.

“Counsellor!” He called out, “I really wouldn’t do that if I were you…” She sighed angrily, 

“That chaotic lesbian partner of yours is in there right now isn’t she?” Carisi simply nodded, extending a fresh cup of coffee to the defence attorney. He obviously didn’t get why she did what she did, but she was your Aunt, and you spent a lot of time with her, there was no major reason for bad blood.

“You’re not defending Greylek are you?” He questioned, 

“God no, I just need a word with Novak.” Rita took a sip of the shitty coffee, “I know we have our..issues but Y/N’s really happy having you as a partner, I don’t know if I’ve ever said that…”

“Thanks…” He hadn’t expected the praise, the two of them had had about 2 non work related conversations before. They both nearly jumped when the door to Casey’s office opened. Carisi didn’t know what he expected but it certainly wasn’t you walking out completely cool and collected, clothes, hair and makeup perfected, warrants in your hand.

“Warrants are in Carisi, you ready?” God you even had your detective voice back on, “Hey Rita..” You greeted, there was your normal smirk.

“I expected better from you…” She muttered, you simply laughed, grabbing Sonny by the suit sleeve, leading him to the elevator, you had work to do now. Rita cautiously moved towards Casey’s office despite the open door she still knocked on the frame, “Is it safe to come in?” Casey looked up, a laugh on her face,

“Rita..”The realization washing over her  “Sorry…”

“She’s chaotic, it’s fine..”

“I didn’t think I had any cases with you right now.”

“You don’t.” Rita paused, taking a breath, she’d always known that you and Casey would end up being more than casual (or that she’d break your heart…) at the way you talked about her, and now that she was in NYC full time she needed Casey to know. “I wanted to talk to you about Y/N..”

“Is this the part where you threaten to kill me if I hurt her? Because that’s not going to happen.” Casey leant against the front of her desk, arms folded around her body.

“I know…but I need you to promise you’ll keep an eye on her.” The younger woman’s brows furrowed, “I don’t know how much she’s told you, and honestly it’s her story to tell and I don’t want to breach her confidentiality. That being said…she’s dealt with a lot growing up, and a lot of it has to deal with disordered eating, to the point that I actually had parental custody of her when I was only 29.” Casey’s heart clenched, she knew you had the bad habit of choosing wine over dinner some nights but she always thought you’d eaten at the precinct. 

“She never said anything…” Her voice was quiet, she barely felt like it was even her own.

“She never does…If you really love her, please…watch out for her. She’s been in recovery for nearly 15 years now but it’s still hard. It flare’s up when she’s busy, stressed, overly emotional or working an intense case. And considering her job, that’s a lot.”

“What happened?” Casey knew there were tears springing into her eyes, she loved you and wanting nothing but the best for you, yet you’d never brought something like this up. Truthfully she had her own secrets from you still, but something that was important enough that Rita felt the need to come to her, felt pretty fucking big.

“I’m not at liberty to say, I’m sorry. She’ll hopefully tell you when she’s ready.” She sighed, “I bullshitted to Carisi and managed to get him making her dinner once a week, I make sure to meet her twice a month for lunch. The moment she says no, or says she’s eating at work, or grabbing something on the go, I know she’s lying. Keep an eye out for that. You live with her, it should be easier for you tell if she’s throwing up too…” Casey nodded, trying to absorb all this new information without letting Calhoun seeing the tears she wanted to cry, despite the own practically brimming in the attorney’s eyes as the older woman made the move toward the door.

“Rita?” Calhoun didn’t miss the shakiness of Casey’s voice as she turned back to face your girlfriend, “Can you at least tell me how bad it was?” Rita sighed, truthfully not wanting to answer, 

“By the time I got her away from her parents the doctors said she was two days away from being dead.” She could feel the tears filling her eyes, praying they wouldn’t fall in front of Casey, but she truly did love you more than anything.

“Her parents had involvement in this?” Casey felt a burn of rage in her veins that Rita could feel through the room.

“They did, but please…Casey, don’t confront her about this, it will do more harm than good. She’s been doing so well since she met you, she’s had it pretty under control. Just keep an eye on her, and keep doing whatever you’re doing, cause she loves you more than anything else in this world…” With that Rita left the office, leaving Casey in a state of perplexity. 

She wanted to know what exactly what happened in your childhood to result in your upbringing but obviously couldn’t outright ask you without throwing Rita under the bus, and she didn’t want to upset you. Things were slowly starting to make sense in her brain, the scheduled dinners with Sonny, the amount of leftovers he always left, the regular lunches with Rita. Her mind flashed back to when Sonny was nearly shot, you’d been on the couch halfway through a bottle of wine, she’d found the take out on the counter and assumed it was leftovers, but now realizing you hadn’t even touched it. Had Rita sent it over for you? Had Sonny? Just for you to leave it for her instead?