#making a joke abt their thought pattern innocently

[tapsoda]

Kind of sucks that the alt right circles started to make “schizoposting” a thing bc “I’m the joker” or whatever and now anytime a schizophrenic person makes a joke abt their own experiences day to day ppl will assume “hey ur using an alt right thing!!!”

[topazshadowwolf]

Troubles With Sleep

Day 2 of Soriel Week! The prompt is “sleep”, so get ready for some rad sleeping action! Also, I made an art, which you could find at the end!

An Undertale Fanfiction by: Topaz Shadowwolf Undertale is owned by: Toby Fox Relationships: Soriel  Rating: Everyone Heads up: Mention of death   

Troubles With Sleep

 For the longest time, Toriel had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. At night, in the quiet hours in the Ruins, her mind would wander to the darker concepts in life. She would see and remember things she could and will never forget. Her mind tortured her with haunting memories of faces, pain, and cries for help; which chased her all-night long.

First, she would remember watching Chara, her beloved adopted child, slowly die an agonizing and horrible death. Nothing she did eased the suffering the innocent soul endured. No matter how much she wanted to take that burden on herself, she could not. After all the times, she promised the child that she would keep them safe, she was powerless to save them.

Then her son. Her dear, sweet son, who was the light of her life. His broken and blooded body was found collapsed and dying on the throne room floor. She remembers being there, by him, as he clung to the empty body of his dead sibling. Sobbing as her healing magic failed to do anything. Then breaking into a hysterical wail as he fell to dust. In the moment he needed her most, she failed him. Twice in one day she failed as a mother.

Asgore, also pained by the loss of his children, acted. While she mourned, he declared war on the humans. How he could do that, after loving and caring for Chara, was beyond her scope of understanding. For the next few days they yelled, argued, and refused to be near each other. For years upon years, he had always come to her for such decisions. She would talk to him, counsel him. And now? He turned from her, ignored her, and refused to listen to her reason; nor, would he back down. Even when she explained the idiocy of it, he did not relent. That was when she left. Turning her back on the one she had come to love with all her heart, and leaving him with his own choice of bloodshed.

Every human child, who fell, she cared for as long as they would stay with her. She made sure they had food, drink, bed, shelter, love, and new clothes for their growing bodies. But each one left. They each seemed to have a mission they were driven to complete. And every time, news filtered through of their deaths. For all of them, she felt her soul die a little more, and her ability to sleep diminished. She became cold, distant, and angry with the world and the monsters in it. Never again did she think she would find joy or happiness.

Even after moving to the surface, her sleep patterns hadn't improved. There was concerns at work, about human and monster relations, Asgore wanting her forgiveness, Frisk wanting her to forgive Asgore, and the wellbeing of Frisk. There was so much going on in her life, so much to think and worry about. There was hardly any time for sleep, and some nights she half spent sitting up, making lists of all she needed to do for handling upcoming events.

As if she didn’t already have enough to worry about, her mind would wander to the health of her one dear friend. The one monster who showed her how to laugh again while they were still underground. He had brightened up her life, day after day, visiting her door, telling her jokes and stories about life outside and his brother. And the day they finally met, and learned each other's names, was one of the greatest in her life.

It didn’t take her long to figure out that Sans didn't share her problem. He slept very easily, passing out at any moment. A few times he apologized for leaning on her in his sleep, but she didn't mind. In fact, she really enjoyed the feel of his weight on her side, the subtle movement of his ribs as he breathed, and the soft hum of his magic and soul.

If anything, it made her feel drowsy, which was something she hadn't felt in ages. Remembering this, a few times at night, she would imagine hugging him. Feeling him there, in her mind, and letting his deep voice chase the ill thoughts away. It seemed childish, and it was something she wouldn’t want to tell him; but, it helped.

This night it was not working. No matter how hard she tried, sleep would not come. She wanted to talk with him, and was considering calling him. But she knew that is silly, he would be in bed, asleep like she should be. Still, her insomnia was getting to her and she had to do something. Grabbing her phone and a stylus, she found her text conversation with Sans and send a quick message.

 *We should meet tomorrow (or today, considering the time), I found a pretty puzzle we can put together. That is, of course, if you're not too busy with work. Hope I don't wake you, sleepy bones, and for a piece of your time tomorrow.

 With it sent, she started reviewing their old back and forth joke telling. What she wasn't expecting was how quickly she received a reply.

 *hey t, you're up late. sure, i can see you after work. noon good?

 *So are you, I thought you’d be asleep. And yes, noon is perfect.

 *k see you then.

 She stared at her phone for a moment. It would be easy to dismiss it as him waking up to her text and being tired. Or that he was just up late with his brother for some reason. But it still bothered her that he didn’t reply with a single pun or joke. He didn’t even acknowledge the one she made. Frowning she decided to not let this slide.

 *Alright, but Sans, what are you doing up?

 There was a long pause, as the dots indicating he was responding appeared and disappeared multiple times. Finally, the reply came.

 *what abt you?

 That skeleton!

Toriel huffed and glared at her phone. How dare he flip her concern for him back on herself. He was deflecting, and unlike usual, not with a joke. Quickly, she wrote a new message.

 *I am fine. You, though, fall asleep at the slightest lull in activity. I don't want you passing out more than normal, or sleeping at your job.

 *i won't, t.

 Toriel sighed. How would he know? He’ll most likely be so tired when he gets here, the moment she set the puzzle out he’d fall asleep. As she sat there fuming, he sent another message.

 *sorry

 Toriel looked at that word, confused; but more than that, she felt concerned. As far as she knew, there was nothing for him to be sorry about. Considering the times she has caught him looking, sounding, and acting melancholy, she couldn’t help but worry.

 *For what, my friend?

 *everything

 *I’m not sure I understand what you mean.

 *never mind, i should sleep, good night.

 *Sans, are you alright?

 He took a moment to reply.

 *nyes

 He then quickly corrected.

 *yes

 *I’m calling.

 The dots of him replying quickly popped up, but she didn't wait to see. She flipped over to her contact list, selected his name and called. He let it ring a while before answering.

“hey, t.”

“What did you mean by ‘everything?’” Toriel asked.

“it's nothing, don't worry about it,” there was such a heaviness in his tone.

“I don't believe you, what's wrong?” She persisted, saddened to hear him like that.

“i,” he started, but stopped, so she waited. Experience has taught her that it sometimes takes him a moment to collect his thoughts, especially when he was going to talk about something he normally wouldn’t. From the other end, she heard a shuddering sigh before he continued, “i’m prone to nightmares. and i was awake when you texted because of a pretty bad one. just left me rattled, heh.”

It is rare for him to open like that, and she knew better than to point out that he sounded distressed. “I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“thanks tori, but it's fine, really. you should sleep, and i should get back to sleep.”

She sat there for a moment, knowing this skeleton all too well to just accept that answer, “If I were to hang up, would you go to sleep again?”

His silence answered that. He had nothing to say, because he knew she wouldn’t like the answer. Though, if he was prone to nightmares, like he said, perhaps that is why he is always falling asleep during the day. The sleep needed isn’t being achieved at night.

“If I say I will try going to sleep, could you try as well?” Toriel asked.

“sure, tori,” he said. There was some humor there, but still, the heaviness was present. They then wished each other goodnight, and hung up.

Toriel did get some sleep, but it wasn’t much. The next morning, she got up, made breakfast, and then walked Frisk to their friend’s house to play. It was nice when Frisk could have days like this, to just be a child. If it were possible, she would go back in time and stop Asgore from putting so much responsibility on the poor child’s shoulders. She was unsure how he could not see that Frisk was too young for a job like that.

As she walked home, she thought back to the shared issue with sleep. That is when she got a brilliant idea, but she would need a little help to do it right. Pulling out her cell phone, she knew just who to call.

  After hanging up with Toriel, Sans did go back to sleep, only to wake up again. He had another two hours before his alarm would go off and he doubted he would sleep yet again.

…

His alarm woke him, so he must have drifted off at some point. Unwilling to get up, he rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling, debating calling in sick. But, if he did, he’d feel guilty that he skipped work and then hung out with Tori. Pap needs the money for school, food, and housing costs.

In the underground, Sans had multiple jobs to pay for the house. So far, he managed to find just one-person willing to hire his boney butt on the surface, and they only took him on part time. Right now, the brothers were getting by on savings and what little Sans can earn. As for Papyrus, Sans would rather work himself to the bone and let his bro focus on his studies, and not worry about a job or money.

Closing his eye sockets and rubbing his face, he really didn’t want to get up. His second alarm went off and he finally rose from his bed and grabbed his uniform. He then set on his bed and stared at, with the enthusiasm of any resident of Snowdin who had the ‘pleasure’ to spend the day with Jerry.

At his third alarm, Sans finally got dressed, and exited his room before the fourth - ‘hurry up and get ready now’ - alarm went off. He grabbed a breakfast bar, his jacket, and left.

Sans’ job was simple. Either he was taking orders, handling money, and passing off the food; or he quickly prepared food for waiting customers. This early in the day, what was cooked mostly consisted of eggs and bacon. It was a small, non-chain, food joint, that Papyrus wouldn’t want to work or eat at. Not that different than his hotdog stand in Hotlands or even Grillby’s, really.

When his shift ended, he made his way to Tori’s, feeling more defeated than he did when he started the day. Dealing with some of the customers dampened his mood, immensely. And there were so many disgruntled humans there today, that his coworkers agreed he should stay in back for food prep, leaving the customers to them.

Once at Toriel’s house, he walked up to the door and sighed, glancing down at his clothes. He could smell work on himself. He should have swung by home first, even if it made him late. But he said noon. What he really should do is just tell her he's feeling sick and go home. Unsure if he should talk or text, he stared at the door.

Well, he was here, might as well talk.

He knocked twice on the door and hear a voice from inside call, “Who’s there?”

“no bell”

“No bell who?”

“did i win the nobel prize?”

Toriel laughed as she opened the door to let him in. Hearing her voice was all he needed to have his day brightened, and his final decision was to stay. When he walked in he was about to go to the table, where he was sure the jigsaw puzzle would be waiting, but what he saw in the family room caught his attention. Blankets were propped up on chairs and the sofa to form a tent like structure. It was rather big, bigger than any blanket fort he or Papyrus ever made.

“frisk make that?” Sans asked, admiring the effort.

“Actually, I did. I don't know about you, but I’m still tired from last night,” Toriel stepped closer and placed one of her large paws on his shoulder. It was warm with her magic naturally flowing through it, like the life blood of humans. He wanted to look up at her as she spoke, but his eyes were transfixed on the soft, shimmering fur, and the elegant opalescent claws at the end of each finger.

“uh, yeah, same,” was his less than dignified response.

“So, I thought we would relax, maybe watch a movie and rest or nap instead. After all, I tried reading this morning but my tired eyes kept blurring the words,” Toriel continued. Sans glanced up at her face, seeing that beautiful smile of hers aimed at him.

To this change of events, he wasn't sure what to say. “ok,” was the best he could muster. He then remembered he was in his work clothes, “i could head home and change, it won't take long, I know a shortcut.”

“No need, my dearest friend,” she said as her hand left his shoulder. Curious he trailed after her when Toriel moved further into the house. “For you see,” she said before picking up a duffel bag, “someone told me long ago about a wonderful and sweet monster. And he was more than willing to gather some things for you.”

Sans stared at the bag being offered to him. It was his old bag, teal blue with grey accents, that he used when he was attending college underground. He would pack it and take it with him when he would to be away a few days. He took and opened it to find a set of pajamas and some wash clothes just under a well-used book.

“Oh? What’s that?” Toriel asked.

“a bedtime classic at our house. so, if this is what we’re going to do, let’s get ready, settle back, and join fluffy bunny in his adventures,” Sans looked up at Toriel. She was an amazing friend, and Papyrus, obviously, the coolest bro.

Papyrus must have bought the pajamas after Toriel called him, as Sans hadn’t owned a pair since reaching adulthood. That, and the obvious hint was the tag still being on them. Sans had gone in the bathroom to clean up, which didn’t take long. When he walked out, he joined Toriel in the blanket and pillow fort. The two cuddled next to each other while he read. Just like at home with Papyrus, Toriel was asleep soon after the story finished. As Sans laid there, next to the most beautiful woman he could ever hope to be near, he wished that this moment would last the rest of his life. They had been friends for so long, hanging out together as often as possible. They had been getting closer, but they have only really ‘hung out.’ They were impromptu dates, but it would be nice to make it more official. Perhaps, if he still has the nerves to, when he wakes he’ll ask her out on a proper date.