#makes my tummy hurt and is the alcohol closest to giving me a hangover

[c1ittorus]

learned patron is not my friend at all

[redisriding]

The Right Swipe - Chapter One

A Court of Thorns and Roses Modern AU Fanfic

All character’s belong to the wonderful Sarah J Maas.

Tag List: @superspiritfestival  @duskandstarlight @perseusannabeth​

It was the steady chiming of notifications that woke Nesta. First, bringing her slowly to consciousness. Then, inciting enough panic in her just-waking mind, to cause her to bolt upright in the bed with fear.

Grabbing her phone off her bedside locker, knocking a number of items to the floor in the process, she rubbed her eyes into focus. The notifications were still pinging at regular intervals, but as Nesta peered at the screen, they weren’t from work as she had thought. 

No. The notifications appeared beside the app with the little red heart icon. Swipe. 

Nesta groaned, her head starting pound, as the previous night slowly began to come back to her. 

Telling her sisters about Thomas. Them convincing her to download Swipe. Her necking half a bottle of wine to get as drunk as they were. Her swiping tentatively on men she found attractive. Feyre putting on a power ballad playlist, and the three of them dancing around her living room belting out the hits. Collapsing on the coach in fits of laughter.  Swapping phones and swiping for men for each other - the people closest to you know what you need better than you do, after all. 

Feyre had passed out on the couch at some point, and after checking that she was okay and covering her with a blanket, Elaina and Nesta had stumbled to their respective homes. 

Nesta had had a great night with her sisters. She promised herself that she wouldn’t let it go so long this time, before they did it again. 

But Nesta hadn’t been very good at sticking to her promises recently.

Like last night when she promised herself that she would delete Swipe this morning, but as she lay back down in her bed, curiosity got the better of her and she decided she just had to see who she had matched with. 

She opened the app and clicked through to her messages. There were…a lot. Clearly her sisters had been liberal about who they had swiped right for, but Nesta had to give it to them, they had found her some handsome men. 

And how flattering that they appeared to like her back. She had been out of the dating game for so long that it was a boost for her confidence. 

Replying to a few couldn’t hurt…

—————

Elain stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself. Fresh from the shower and wrapped in a white towel she was physically clean. The hot water had washed away the griminess that she felt the morning after she drank alcohol. However the water failed to get rid of the disgusting feeling she felt whenever she looked at herself. 

Dropping her towel she began to examine her body. Her skin was flushed pink from the hot water but it would cool to a cream colour that was neither pale enough to be porcelain nor dark enough to be tanned, it just was. 

Her face was pretty enough, but she always made sure to wear makeup when she left the house. Or when she was in the house. On the chance that someone might ring the doorbell. 

Her hair that was now wrapped in a towel usually hung limply to her shoulders. She curled it to give it some volume. 

Her shoulder, she supposed, were nice. Delicate, feminine. She always wore dresses that showed that showed off her collar bones. 

It was everything below that that she hated.

Elain sighed as she took herself in Her sisters were so womanly and beautiful, Nesta with her big boobs, curvy hips and tiny waist. She had the kind of body that never went out of fashion. Feyre was stronger and leaner, but she wouldn’t look out of place on the cover of the swimsuit issue of IllustratedAthletes. Elain didn’t know how she was related to such beauties when she herself looked like a pre-pubescent boy. 

She cupped her non-existent breasts, her nipples so small and pale she didn’t think any man could ever desire them. She continued her assessment. Her ribs poked roughly out through her skin, but her stomach remained pudgy, as it bulged just above her public bone. Maybe if she could lose her tummy, she could be that delicate kind of pretty that came with being extremely thin. 

She turned to examine her ass, or lack there of, and what a shame since it was all the rage these days. She would need to do more squats. Her claves and ankles were sufficient. As were her arms. Although she had once overheard a woman at work say that her arms looked like twigs. 

Elain was tired of people passing comment on her body. 

She could never be what they wanted her to be. No matter how hard she had tried. 

And she had tried. 

The only man she had ever been with, Grayson, used to make comments about her body. That her stomach was bloated, that her thighs were rubbing together, or her arms flabby. He would tell her to leave her shirt on while they had sex, he’d turn the lights off, or, the one that upset Elain the most, he’d only take her from behind because he told her that her face was too old to look at. 

So she had plucked and scrubbed, waxed and buffed, bought expensive face creams, and spent hours in the gym.

All to be what he had wanted her to be. 

To be good enough for him. 

And in the end, when she failed, he left her. 

That had been two years ago. Elain hadn’t been with a man since. 

No man would want her now anyway.

Turning away from the mirror she quickly put on underwear and pulled on a floral print dress. She loved her floral dresses, they compensated for her lack of womanliness in her body and made her feel feminine. 

She was just taking the towel from her hair when the notification popped up on her phone. A new match had sent her a message on Swipe. 

Elain felt the butterflies flutter in her stomach, as they always did when she got a notification from match.

Opening Swipe she clicked into the profile of the guy who messaged her. 

Lucien. 30. Polo player. New to Velaris and need to know some good spots to eat. 

Flicking through his photos, Elain had to admit he was handsome. Tall and broad he had dark tanned skin and long red hair. An unusual combination but one that clearly worked for the man. One close up picture of his face, revealed some scaring around his eye, but nevertheless he looked kind.

She clicked into the message he sent her. 

Good morning Elain, how are you doing today? 

It was simple. Polite. Infinitely more positive than the men who messaged her to make crass comments about her appearance or what they might like to do with her. 

Elain felt her stomach flip again as she stared down at the message. 

With a self-satisfied smile to herself, she began typing a reply. 

————— 

Feyre was too hungover to be in work. She had woken up that morning on her couch - covered in a blanket that her sisters had clearly thrown over her before leaving the night before - with a severe crick in her neck. Sitting up, massaging her shoulder, she took stock of her sitting room. The empty wine bottles, crumpled pizza boxes, cushions strewn everywhere. The aftermath might have been a big mess for her to clean up but she had had a great night with her sisters. 

Now she stood at the cash register staring down a long queue of waiting customers, while her brain thumped in her skull.

“I’m taking a break,” she called to Nuala before turning and walking away from her till. 

“Hey!” Cerridwen called after her, “Come back here! You can’t just walk away like that we’re swamped.”

Feyre ignored the grumbles of the two managers as she headed through the kitchen and ducked out the back door. The cool autumn air hit her and she breathed in deeply. 

The smell of coffee inside was doing nothing to help her stomach, she thought, as she felt the cold slice of pizza she had grabbed on the way out the door this morning churn in her stomach. 

Shimming down the wall to sit on the cold concrete ground, Feyre pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans. 

She had a new notification on Swipe. 

Clicking open the app her eyes bulged when she saw the handsome man who had sent her a message. 

He was tall and tanned with long blonde hair. His photos showed him partaking in a number of outdoor pursuits including horse riding and shooting, but one picture was him all dressed up wearing a tux and a masquerade mask. 

Feyre felt her body respond as she clicked open his bio. 

Tamlin. 33. Not looking for anything serious…just a wife ;)

Feyre snorted. Good looking and funny, he appeared almost too good to be true. 

She opened the message he had sent her. 

Hello beautiful Feyre. What are you doing tonight?

Feyre typed out a reply

Not much, I need to clean my apartment after last night :( 

He messaged back almost instantly

Wild night? ;)

I got drunk with my sisters, things got a bit messy haha

Sounds fun. How many sisters do you have?

It was! Regretting it this morning though haha. I have two. 

Hungover? Nice, older or younger?

Yeah…and I’m in work this morning :( Both older. 

Aww poor baby Feyre, hungover in work only to go home and clean up after up after your sisters. 

I know, how unfair?! :( 

Sounds almost like a fairytale - Cinderella. You’re missing something though…

What’s that?

A handsome Prince to whisk you away. 

Any ideas where I could find one of those? The frogs I’ve been kissing have turned out to be just that.

Let me take you out for dinner tonight?

Feyre’s heart started racing as she looked at the message. Tamlin was asking her on a date. A proper date. She’s never been on one before. All her and Isaac did was get drunk and have sex. This handsome man was asking her out for dinner. 

That would be really nice :) 

Do you know Under the Mountain? 

That really expensive restaurant that everyone is talking about? Of course! The waiting list is months long though??? 

That’s the one  - meet you there at 8pm ;) 

Holy shit! This guy Tamlin must be rich on top of being handsome and funny…or at least very well connected. What on earth was he doing on Swipe? He must have women throwing themselves at his feet…and yet, tonight he was taking her on a date. 

Excitement punctured through her hangover. She was going on a date. Tonight! With the man of her dreams. AND he was taking her Under the Mountain. 

Oh. My. Gods. 

What was she going to wear. 

The door to the coffeeshop opened with a bang snapping Feyre from her reverie. Nuala, or maybe it was Cerridwen, stood there glaring down at Feyre, “Breaks over, get back to your register.” 

Even getting in trouble with her manager couldn’t put Feyre in a bad mood, she hopped up off the ground and followed Cerridwen, or maybe it was Nuala, back inside. 

The queue was even longer than it had been before she left. Logging onto her register beside the new girl, Alis, who was clearly flustered, she called the next customer forward. 

“What can I get you?” She asked without looking up. 

“Three large americanos, two blueberry muffins, and one pain au chocolat, please,” a warm, deep voice replied. 

“Three large americanos, two blueberry muffins, and one pain au chocolat,” Feyre repeated, punching the order into her register. “Can I take a name?”

“Rhys”

“Okay, Reece, that will be $18.90,” it was only then that Feyre glanced up. Standing in front of her till, gazing down upon her with the most vivid violet eyes she had ever seen was the most handsome man she had ever seen. 

All the thoughts of going on that date tonight with Tamlin emptied from her head. All that mattered was Reece standing before her.

A flicker of amusement crossed his face as he looked back at her. It was only then that Feyre realised he stood there, card in hand, waiting for her to put through the transaction. 

“Eh sorry,” she said with a shake of her head, “just tap here,” gesturing to the card machine. 

As he tapped his card and waited for the payment to go through, Feyre turned and pulled three large cups off the coffee machine. Grabbing a pen she quickly scribbled ‘REECE’ across the side of each and passed them down the line for Nuala, or maybe it was Cerridwen, to make the coffee. 

Turning back to the register she found Reece smiling at her. 

It was absolutely dazzling, she was sure her jaw dropped open slightly. 

Regaining her senses she moved away from him, towards the pastries, quickly picking up the tongs, she dropped two blueberry muffins and the pain au chocolat into a brown paper bag. 

Three coffees. Three pastries. Feyre couldn’t help but wonder who they were for. Three seemed to suggest that he wasn’t going home to have Saturday morning breakfast with his girlfriend. 

Ah, who was she kidding, a man like that could easily have two girlfriends and be able to pull it off. 

Maybe he would like a third. 

Shaking her head free of that little thought, she headed back to him where he waited, watching her, by the till. 

“Here are your muffins and pain au chocolat, the coffees will just be a few moments.”

“Thanks,” he said with another smile, but when she looked at Reece she realised that he was not looking at her face…but at her chest. 

No…not looking at her chest. He was trying to read her name badge. 

“It’s Feyre,” she said, flicking her name badge. 

Reece merely smiled again and nodded. 

They stood in awkward silence for a beat before Cerridwen or Nuala called the order. Hustling to the counter, Feyre picked up the cups of steaming coffee, and popped them in a cardboard tray for Reece to carry. 

“Three americanos,” she said, handing them over to him with a shy smile. 

“Thanks.”

“Have a nice day!’

“You too.”

“I will.” She stood there watching him, he hesitated for a moment before turning to head for the door, but not before he called back over his shoulder. 

“Feyre?”

A spark shot through her at the sound of her name falling from his mouth, “Yes?”

“It’s Rhysand” he said, gesturing to the tray of coffees with a wink. 

—————

Cassian couldn’t stop staring at the woman on the screen in front of him. He was lying in bed tapping through her pictures, and had been for at least the last 15 minutes, but he just couldn’t take his eyes off her. 

He had awoke that morning to a notification from that app, Swipe, he had downloaded months ago and then proceeded to forget all about. It wasn’t like there were many women in the Illyrian mountains for him to swipe through anyway. Many of anyone really, not amongst the trees.

He was easily the youngest person who lived up there by about 30 years. The old men who frequented the bar in the village nearest to his cabin liked to give him a hard time about it. They had all moved to the cities in their youths to find lives and wives, only returning to the cold mountains after a bitter divorce of the death of their beloved. They told him constantly that he needed to get out of the mountains, to go to Velaris or Hewn City and get himself a girl. It was their constant picking that had Cassian downloading Swipe in the first place. 

Not that it had helped him get the old men off his back. For one they didn’t understand dating apps, and secondly, because there were precisely two women in his Illyria village on Swipe. One of whom was Emerie, his former friends with benefits who had gone and got herself a boyfriend in one of the seasonal workers who came up to mange the forrest. The other wasn’t worth mentioning. 

He had forgot all about Swipe, and women in general before coming down to Velaris. He made the trip every year to see Rhys, before the snow made it difficult for him to leave his cabin until the spring. 

Azriel had recently moved to Velaris, and the three of them had stayed up drinking whiskey and talking shit long into the night. He was hungover as fuck. Maybe that’s why he was having such a hard time computing the beautiful woman who had apparently mega-matched him. Whatever that meant. 

Cassian continued to stare at the picture of her in her tight black dress that showed off the soft feminine curve of her body. Her long hair fell loose on her shoulders framing her perfect face. 

He tapped through the other photos yet again. He knew the order now. Tight black dress, bikini pic, pretty green dress, bikini pic, sexy red dress, gym shot. 

It was this final picture that had Cassian’s eyes out on stalks. His cock that had been hard when he had woken up had begun throbbing at that. Hot and sweaty after what he supposed was a heavy season - IN THE GYM - the woman was an absolute goddess. 

And she had mega-matched with him? Cassian knew he was in good shape, but he didn’t think a mountain man like that could ever stand a chance with a city girl like that.

No, someone must have taken her phone and swiped through. 

Or maybe she wasn’t even real. 

She was probably a model and someone was using her pictures to catfish men on dating apps. Emerie had made him watch a show about that once. Scary stuff. 

Still, on the off chance that maybe she was real, he might as well shoot his shot. 

Fumbling around with the app, he tried to figure out how to message her. 

That was when her bio popped up. 

With a quiet curse, Cassian punched the pillow beside him. This woman was a queen, and by gods was he prepared to worship at her feet. 

With a quick prayer that she would reply, he typed out a message. 

—————

“Good morning,” Rhys sang as he walked through the door of Azriel’s penthouse apartment. 

Azriel, who sat at the kitchen table staring into a mug of coffee, cringed. “How are you so happy this morning?”

Rhys smiled. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s a beautiful day!”

Azriel just blinked at him. “Please go take your sunniness somewhere else.”

“I would, but I have something you want,” he smirked. 

“And what might that be?” 

“Coffee and a blueberry muffin.”

Azriel’s head shot up. He noticed the bag that Rhys was holding in one hand and the tray of cups in the other. “Where did you get those?”

“Coffeeshop down the street.”

“Is it good?”

“There was a queue out the door so I would imagine so.” Not to mention a pretty little barista, but Rhys didn’t think Azriel would be swayed by that. In fact it could be something he actively avoided. 

“Anything has to be better than this,” He sighed peering back down at his mug. 

“You make it?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know why you do that to yourself?”

“Function over taste.”

Rhys placed the coffees and the pastries on the table and plopped into the seat opposite Azriel. “There are so many great coffee places around here man, you need to get out and explore.”

Azriel just shrugged as he reached for the bag and pulled out a blueberry muffin.

“How long have you lived here now?” Rhys prodded.

“Almost a month.”

“Almost a month and you don’t even have a coffee place, shameful.”

Azriel shrugged again, taking a bite of his muffin. 

Rhys worried for his friend. Azriel was happiest amongst the shadows. Unfortunately, he had just become the Velaris Black Wings biggest signing for the season, and something like that brought him into the spotlight. Especially in Velaris, where good looks, status, and money mattered to people. And Azriel had all three. 

Ever since he had moved from his lower division team in Illyria, the only time he left the house was to go to practice, or for a game, and then he was sheltered in his hockey player bubble. Ask the guy to walk down the street and the 6’4 mountain of muscle broke out in a stress rash. 

“I have a date tonight,” Rhys said, hoping to change the conversation. 

“Oh yeah?” Azriel asked, taking a sip of coffee. He didn’t make a face, unlike when he drank the suff he percolated himself. 

“Yeah.”

“How did you meet her?” 

“You know that app Swipe?”

“No.”

“Of course not. You have women throwing themselves at you everywhere you go.”

Azriel appeared to blush faintly under his tanned skin, “I don’t like it when they do that.”

“I know buddy, it must be so difficult to find yourself constantly surrounded by beautiful women.”

“They just want me for my body…or my money.” Azriel frowned.

Rhys frowned. Azriel wasn’t one to talk about the touchy feely stuff, but the guy was sensitive. “Is that such a bad thing?”

Azriel didn’t answer. “So this app?” He asked after a moment. 

“Yeah Swipe. Basically, you make a profile and you can look through girl’s profiles. If you both Swipe right for each other, then you match and you can start chatting.”

“That’s how you met this girl you’re going out with tonight?”

“Yeah, her name’s Amarantha. We’ve been chatting and its going well, so I asked her if she wanted to grab a drink. You want to see a picture?”

Azriel shrugged again, but Rhys knew his friend was curious. Taking his phone from his pocket he pulled up Amarantha’s profile. She was beautiful, with porcelain skin and long red hair. 

He passed his phone to Azriel. “Tap here for more pictures.”

Azriel’s expression didn’t change as he tapped through the pictures. “I hope it goes well for you,” he said, passing Rhys’s phone back to him. 

“Me too. It has been so long since I was last on a date.”

“It’s just like riding a bike, right.”

Rhys chuckled, “I sure hope so.” 

An easy silence fell between them as they slowly sipped their coffees and ate their muffins. It was really good. Definitely good enough to go back again for. Not that there would be any other reason. He had a date tonight he reminded himself, he needed to forget about the pretty little brunette, Feyre, out of his mind. 

If only he could. 

“Where is Cass?” He asked, shaking himself from his thoughts. 

“Still in bed,” Azriel said with a small smile, “he was wasted last night.”

“Indeed he was. I worry about him, up there alone.”

“Me too, but he won’t hear it. He’s a mountain boy at heart, he won’t be happy in the city.”

Rhys felt a pang of guilt shoot through him. “You sure you’re still talking about Cass?” He asked, standing up from the kitchen table. 

Azriel just nodded. 

—————

Azriel watched Rhys cross the giant living space, and head for the stairs, coffee and pastry in hand for Cassian. The three of them had got drunk last night for the first time in a long time, and Azriel had forgot how sad he got when he was hungover. It was the combination of the booze clearing his system and not having slept right. At least that’s what Azriel told himself. 

In reality though, he hadn’t felt like himself since he moved to Velaris, and the hangover was just heightening the emotions. 

He sighed deeply, and drained the end of his coffee. It really was better than the stuff he made for himself. Rhys was right, he did need to get out of his apartment and get to know his neighbourhood. It was just so intimidating. He was a small town boy, born and raised in the mountains, he didn’t know this city or anyone in it, except for Rhys, and yet everyone seemed to know him. It was incredibly overwhelming. 

At least in Illyria, he knew the name of everyone who had known his. For they had grown up together, not because his face was splashed across sports pages and gossip magazine’s alike. 

Despite being in this massive city, Azriel was lonely. He had Rhys of course, but the guy was busy. Thankfully Cassian would be here for a few weeks to keep him company, while he too stocked up on human interaction and other supplies before heading to his cabin high in the Illyrian mountains for the winter. 

But neither of his best friends could give Azriel what he really missed. 

The love of a good woman. 

He and Mor had been together since they were teenagers in school. He absolutely adored her and she was everything to him. She loved him too, but she wasn’t in love with him. How could she be, when she loved women. 

After almost 10 years together Mor had broken up with him. She had told him that she had been living a lie and that she had fallen in love with a woman named Rita. 

Three years later and Mor and Rita were now married with a son. A son who looked just like Azriel, because he was the one who had provided the “genetic material” for the boy. It was this story that the tabloids loved more than any other. 

Mor and Rita were honest with their son about who Azriel was, but he played more of a favourite uncle roll than a Dad. It broke Azriel’s heart that they were still in Illyria and he couldn’t just pop by at the weekends like he used to. They promised to call regularly, but it just wasn’t the same. 

Here in Velaris, Azriel felt totally alone. 

He needed to change that and Rhys had given him an idea. 

He unlocked his phone and hit download on the Swipe app.