#makes me sick because shoot me i miss the way that fandom had been and i admit it
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finding non-negative atl based blogs/accs is like going through a minefield, you never know when shit will pop up. some of you really be disguising your hatered for the group under the name of a stan acc and i need y'all to like, tone it down or leave or something
#i mean i get gossiping#i do#but like some of you be borderline haters at this point#makes me sick because shoot me i miss the way that fandom had been and i admit it#even though i know things won't go back as they used to#but some of the blogs here (the only place where group centric persevered) are going out on a limb#to make the most disgusting impression of a fandom#i have been so disheartened by all of this i couldn't even write for a challenge or any of my aus for them#cause i don't feel safe in the fandom and i am disheartened by it because i used to love writing them#i still do but all that stuff is going nowhere#anyway#i miss the easier times today#sorry for the rant#i was just speaking into space ig#may rambles
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Way behind, doing it anyway!
1. When did you discover OFMD? A little later than everyone else. I think I started watching it after all the episodes had dropped, and people were talking about the Gay Pirates.
2. What was your first impression? I didn't quite hate it, and I wasn't sure I'd watch past the first three episodes. That was a surprise to me because I like Kiwi humor. I think the problem was I'd been hearing all about how the show was Amazingly Gay and the End of Queerbaiting and a Big Gay Romcom--and that's just not evident the first time you watch the first three episodes. Amazingly Gay gets a reasonable start, to be fair, and all of it is impossible to miss on rewatch. But the first time through, the End of Queerbaiting and a Big Gay Romcom feel like ridiculous oversells. And even with all the casually depicted queerness in the first three episodes, its amount of Amazingly Gay felt like not enough somehow? It might be partly that Stede presents as such a Camp Gay, and Thor Ragnarok made me a bit suspicious of Taika's handling of that type (in retrospect, that was almost certainly the fault of the MCU). That said, I was totally here for Taika, and he doesn't fully appear in the first three eps.
3. First OFMD pic in gallery
Nah, I'm not going all the way back for that. Here's the most recent still OFMD pic I've reblogged:
4. Reasons you like OFMD I love OFMD for all the reasons I thought I wouldn't make it past episode 3. 😂
I love the pervasive, matter-of-fact presentation of queerness in all its rich variety. I love the Big Gay Romance, and all the other supporting queer romances. I love the Revenge family. I love their deep, multifarious, matter-of-fact diversity. I love that these characters exist within and sometimes rub up against a world that, like the one we know, is deeply antagonistic to them. I love that OFMD handles racism with the same gently brutal realism as it does anti-queerness. Those two elements of the show break me so hard, in such a good way. I also love the hard switch Rhys gives Stede between Bumbling Bumbler and Daddy in Charge, and I love how he adapts it as the situation calls for. (It's literally the biggest thing that convinced me to keep watching despite my misgivings. It takes 20 minutes into S1E1 to first see it, and then, damn.) I love Ed's wet cat energy. I love Stede's hair. I love Ed's hair. I love the Revenge. I love the shifting flashbacks and dream/story sequences. I love Izzy as an antagonist, and the painfully realistic toxic relationship between him and Ed that fuels the antagonism. And I love how Izzy constantly shoots himself in the foot. I love all the supporting male characters of color: Frenchie and Olu and Fang and Roach and Ivan, and how most of them are big guys and are so sexy and I just....yeah.
5. Favorite main character
Ed. I am Ed coded to the absolute max. And he's sexy AF, in all his guises.
6. Favorite supporting character(s)
I am both glad and not to see that "(s)." Could I choose just one? No. Since I am allowed to choose multiple, is it going to look like I'm naming the whole cast? Yep!
Top of the top: Frenchie.
Followed closely by Olu, Mary, Lucius, and Fang.
Honorable mentions: Roach, Nana, the Swede, Buttons, Evelyn, and Alma.
I also love the native community on shipwreck island, Hornberry, and Mister "We Could Have Made Magic." (Jim is too past-me coded for me to love, and Jackie doesn't rate for me yet; I suspect both will change with season 2.)
7. Songs that remind you of your fav characters
Halsey's The Lighthouse is my Stede abandons Ed at the dock theme. Elza Soares' Coracao do mar and Phoebe Bridgers' Motion Sickness also remind me of Ed. White Flag by Joseph for Stede. Here's my OFMD playlist:
8. Underrated character
Frenchie. Frenchie does not get his due in this fandom, and it's a damn shame.
9. Character you resonate most with
Ed, hands down.
10. Character you hated at first but grew to love
Buttons
11. Favorite duo
Frenchie and Olu
12. Scene that made you laugh
Frenchie naming the Pyramid Scheme
13. Scene that made you cry
The bathtub confession
14. Favorite episode
S1E5, The Best Revenge is Dressing Well
15. Favorite quote
"Have you ever been sketched?" --Lucius
16: Favorite line delivery
"Your face." --Roach
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Prompts List
I'm bored and want to write some more, so i've decided to make a list of prompts to jog some ideas. Please send in as many as you like (i need the inspo)
Fandoms I currently write for: Supernatural Star Wars The Lost Boys (1987) The Last Of Us The Witcher Game of Thrones DC if you want something else, feel free to ask and I'll give it a go.
Masterlist
(these are just rough category suggestions, you can use them for anything you like)
ANGSTY
1. "You said you'd never leave! You promised!"
2. "Where were you when I lost everything? You. Weren't. There."
3. "I don't want to hurt you."
4. "Did you really think you could undo what you've put me through?"
5. "Don't you dare let go!"
6. "I don't want to hurt you."
7. "I trusted you."
8. "You don't understand."
9. "I spent all of this time worrying about you and you didn't even think about me once!"
10. "I wish I had never trusted you"/"I wish you had never trusted me"
11. "Don't abandon me like everyone else."
12. "You said you'd never leave! You promised!"
13. "Don't make this harder than it already is."
14. "forgive me for what i'm about to do."
15. "you're not the same person I met all that time ago."
16. "I'm sorry. None of this should have happened. This is all my fault."
17. "You were dead... I watched you die."
18. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
19. "why do you do this to yourself?"
20. "It's been days. We have to consider the possibility that they're not coming back."
21. "Stop yelling at me!" "This is your fault."/"It's not my fault."
22. "I don't want to shoot you but I will if you don't move. Step aside."
23. "Over my dead body." "I can arrange that."
24. "I can't do this anymore." “You don't have a choice."
25. "Please don't make me choose."
26. "I'm sorry, I tried, I really did."
27. "Can't i come with you?" "You know you can't"
28. "I'm sorry. I did what I had to."
29. " Don't. Stop this ____. You're better than this."
30. "I trusted you. With Everything."
31. "I did it because I had to. Not because I wanted to."
32. "I told you not to get too close to me."
HURT/COMFORT/WHUMP
33. "Who did this to you?"
34. "No more. Please."
35. "Hey, Hey look at me! you're gonna be okay."
36. "Don't you dare close your eyes."
37. "Stay with me"
38. "I've got you."
39. "Just hold on a little longer."
40. "Just please...please stay with me."
41. "You're safe. They can't hurt you here."
42. "Let me go."
43. "Don't leave me now. Please. I still need you."
44. "Don't touch them!"
45. "Hurt me instead "
46. "I'm sorry, I tried, I really did."
47. "Don't let them win."
48. "I hurt people. It's all I'm good at."
49. "I did something terrible"
50. comforting them after a nightmare
51. "You were crying, weren't you?"
52. "Touch her, and you're dead."
FLUFF
53. "I love you" "I know"
54. "I can't stop thinking about you."
55. "I'll never let you go."
56. "What took you so long? I missed you."
57. "I'm asking because I've seen the way you look at me"
58. "You know you love me."
59. "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."
60. "You're perfect."
61. "I'm the luckiest person in the world."
62. "Can I stay with you tonight?"
63. "I'm so proud of you."
64. "Shut up and kiss me."
65. "I love you. Never forget that okay?"
66. "You grow more and more beautiful each day."
67. "Dance with me."
68. "I don't care that you're sick."
69. "I wouldn't change a thing about you"
70. "When this is all over, I don't want us to go separate ways."
71. "You're so cute when you're mad."
72. falling asleep together
73. facing a fear
74. Taking care of sick s/o
75. hugs from behind
76. placing a kiss on their forehead.
77. seeing each other again after a long time apart.
#please send in requests i beg#writing#dialogue prompt#angst prompt#whump prompt#writing prompts#story prompt#writing ideas#story ideas#hurt/comfort#x reader#star wars#star wars x reader#angst#lost boys x reader#the witcher x reader#x you#game of thrones#game of thrones x reader#supernatural#supernatural x reader#spn#sw#the witcher#dc#the lost boys 1987 x reader#tlb 1987#tlb#tlou#the last of us
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hi yes the benimaru fic i mentioned earlier— fire force fandom will you let me in please??🥺🥺 i don’t know what i’m dealing with fanbase wise mmfldjfj sometimes it feels like i’m head over heels for bens by myself so... i’ll drop this here for now.. see how it goes and i’ll continue w/ a second part if ff isn’t dead
nsfw themes throughout, so please read my disclaimer if you’re new. enjoy :)
w.c: 1.7k, characters: 9.6k (incl spaces)
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there’s a certain sluggish quality that plagues your movements. it’s not fatigue or incompetence. or so benimaru would hope.
his mix matched gaze glosses over your unnecessary movements. that extra exhale you hiss, the additional bat of your eyelashes and the excessive perspiration that drips onto the earth below.
“stop.” he commands, tone low and stern as it pierces through the open air.
“huh? captain shinmon, i’m fine. we can keep going.” you huff through laboured breaths, pausing to gasp and drink in the plentiful oxygen around you.
“it’s one thing if you’re overworking your muscles. it’s another if you’re running a fever. go inside.”
“b-but captain-“
benimaru shoots you a dead stare, keeping his statement rooted deep where he stands.
judging by the bruises that adorn your knees, you know better than to disobey the captain.
“waka! have you seen (l/n)?” konro lingers in the doorframe of the main communal area, gaze scanning for one of his colleagues.
“she’s in her room. why?”
“her room? she has a few errands to run. is she feeling okay?”
“she’s running a fever.” benimaru exhales, shifting to get up from the table. he lightly scratches the back of his neck, adorning that usual aloof facial expression.
“in the middle of summer? how’d that happen?” konro chuckles through a small glimpse of bewilderment. of course he’d be concerned for one of his best recruits.
“hell if i know. what do we need? i’ll head out.”
if anything, benimaru is probably the sole reason why you’re running a fever. why he subjected to railing you underneath water that felt like it was nearing sub-zero was beyond you. it’s not like he’s about to admit he enjoys fucking his special little fire soldier. how he relishes and engrains the sight of your fucked out facial expression deep into his head, burning the image into his retinas. shit, you wouldn’t be surprised if the reason why he sometimes spaces out is because of you.
it’s always been blatantly obvious that you’re the captain’s favourite, no matter how much he denies it and how many glares he shoots at the people from other companies. you’re always left apologising for his behaviour, attempting to keep a straight face.
for the one time you dragged him out to patrol with you, and the amount of incessant whining, complaints and bribes you offered your captain, after a full month of lovely slow burn he decided to come along with you. he just up and left, had the audacity to turn around and ask you why you’re still standing there. benimaru always kept his distance to yours close, in fact the separation was almost minimal. you could feel his shoulders ghost over you.
every time he noticed someone staring at your figure for a little bit too long to be deemed appropriate, he hissed a scoff of distaste. at around the third or fourth person, you were already forced to deal with his short temper.
“what the hell are you gawking at? mind your damn business.”
but sure. apparently you’re not his favourite.
he can scoff and complain all he wants, but that won’t stop him even now from lazily snaking his hand around to his favourite baby girl’s waist. to him, this seems like the most normal thing.
“how else is she going to stand upright? she’s all stick and bones, the wind will knock her right over.”
okay, benimaru. you keep telling yourself that. even when his fingers feel an itch every time they’re not touching a part of your skin. he tends to get a whole lot more mouthy and irritable every time you’re not around, too.
hell, even his own townsfolk pick up on the fact that he’s out and about more. rounds that he always left to the lesser important underlings became more commonplace, especially with you by his side.
but the things that go on behind closed doors?
his peppermint red eyes that haunt your mind, infiltrating your very thoughts. you could be minding your business, going on about your day until you get an abrupt flicker of his mundane tic-tac-toe gaze staring up at you from in between your thighs.
you could be taking care of hinata and hikage, entertaining their antics when you feel the weight of benimaru’s stare burn holes into your uniform.
you could be doing your daily sparring with the captain. in the zone, breath held and blood stream steady until you remember the feel of his hot tongue trailing along the side of your neck. for someone who seems to be stuck in a perpetual state of sadness, you always catch the arrogant smirk that pulls at his lips.
“thinking of something?” he’ll cock his eyebrows, using the distraction to take a jab to your gut.
you groan, stirring around in your bed. you hate him, hate that stupid half lidded gaze of his. you hate how soft his wavy jet black locks are. the way the strands tug and bend whenever you try to yank his face away from your cunt. you run your fingers through your hair in a valiant yet futile attempt to free your thoughts from your captain. it’s only three o’clock in the afternoon, and you haven’t done anything but reminisce about your lover for the past hour and a half.
a meek and uneven sigh hisses from your lips. your eyes screw open and you flinch at the hard sunlight that pours in from the window. as you use the inner portion of your elbow to shield your gaze, you catch glimpse of a very familiar figure in the doorway.
“captain shinmon?” you inquire, propping yourself up onto your elbows. he closes the door behind him. you’re certain that you looked like a loyal dog sat panting and wagging its tail upon discovering the return of their owner.
“excited to see me?” he remarks in a flat tone, opening the grocery bag he’s carrying before setting a few things down onto your nightstand. it’s mostly medicine, though he snags a few of your favourite snacks and drinks. there’s also one of those fascinating green tea bottles that you buy at the vending machines, except they’re served piping hot.
“how’re you feeling?”
“i told you i was going to get sick if we had the water that cold.” you huff, averting your gaze in a fit.
“not my problem you can’t take a little temperature difference”
“a little? that shit was freezing! how the hell can you take water that cold?”
“how can you not?”
you chuckle a little, shifting to stare up at the ceiling.
“don’t you have paperwork to do?”
“you know i don’t do paperwork. sure as hell not gonna start doing it now.” benimaru huffs, kicking his boots off by the door. you can hear his clothes rustling and your head snaps to face him. he shoots you a glare, as though to scold you. it’s dripping on his face. ‘really? you’re so eager.’
“move up.” he cocks his head to the side, motioning for you to move over. you shift up, room spinning a little too much for your tastes. the mattress dips with his weight and his right arm (our left) reflexively hangs in the air for you to dip your head into the crook of where his shoulder and collarbone meet. he discards his navy kimono, the article of clothing hangs on one of the hooks at the back of your door. it’s probably not much comfort for him to be relaxing in a bed with half of his uniform still on.
you squish your face against his hard chest, head rising and falling in time with his breathing. the said arm relaxes and his hand rests against your shoulder. subsequently, you realise this is the first time you’ve seen him fully without his kimono on. at the very least, he’d still have the other sleeve on.
benimaru notices your blatant staring at his other arm. he can’t comprehend why you’d gawk at it now, since he’s used it plenty of times to choke you.
he hums a small ‘hm’ in question, asking you what you’re so fascinated about. you can feel his voice thrum and rock against his chest, it sends small shivers licking your body that he doesn’t miss.
“you look so funny without your kimono on. why don’t you wear it like this more often?” you drag your nails softly against his biceps. there’s a small groan that hisses from him. as you await his response, you outline a large vein that runs from his upper arm and trails down all the way to his wrist.
“i get cold easily.”
“then why did you take a shower with me?”
“are you hearing yourself?”
surely a little bit of his body temperature was enough to sacrifice. even if it meant he was sneezing a little bit and shivering afterwards.
“seriously? you can take a tranquiliser but you can’t stand a little cold?”
“you’ll make a shitty wife if you can’t even keep me warm.”
“beni!” you hiss at benimaru in appaul, craning your face up to guffaw at him. the manners on him sometimes are despicable.
you pout, shifting your upper weight to flick benimaru in between his eyebrows. he screws his face in mutiny, lips curled into a scowl.
you and him both know that if it were anyone else flicking him like that, they’d be sent crashing through six different blocks of houses down the street.
“oi.” he warns you, tutting.
“konro come by and work some voodoo magic bullshit on you? ‘cause you’re testing your luck by pissing me off. you’re such a menace when you’re sick, it’s unbelievable.”
you hum in awe, inching your face closer towards his. there’s a wave of mockery that paints your face green and you can only laugh at the unrest that swirls in benimaru’s eyes.
he won’t have his pet talking down to him like that. no, no. that just won’t do.
“oh? really? you want me to do it again?” you flash him a cocky smirk, digits curled into a flicking position. you rest the bridge of your middle finger against benimaru’s forehead, slicking some of his charcoal stained locks out the way.
his left hand flies to catch your hand in an instant. with just two of his fingers, he can wrap himself around your wrist. his touch is assertive, firm. he can drag you the fuck away from him as he pleases, but there’s no real malice or force behind him just yet.
“yeah? try me.” he barks, peering down at you through his lashes.
you just might.
#?? i hope he sounds okay?#his dialogue was extremely finicky to me#i’ve heard lots of people complain that their or someone elses beni sounded ooc so ihope thats not the case here#benimaru shinmon#benimaru x you#benimaru x y/n#benimaru x reader#fire force x y/n#fire force x reader#fire force x you#fire force#fire force imagines#fire force self insert#fire force smut#fire force hcs#fire force headcanons
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All For You
i wanted to write a lisa imagine in honor of her AMAZING solo. kept me pumped up over the weekend HAHAAH i initially wanted to write a smut for her, but i couldn't do it for some reason this time round so yall are getting a short but sweet HHAHA
i'll try to write some more smutty fics but for now, fluff and angst for all of you! enjoy!
disclaimer/s : this is just fluff so i think yall are safe
It wasn't often that you were in a bad mood. After all, you were your group's happy pill and your fandom's ray of sunshine. You had a reputation and you liked sticking to that. But after a week of taking blow after blow from your company, you didn't feel like being the usual ray of sunshine you always were.
It hit harder when your mom got sick and you weren't permitted to see her because of time constraints with your comeback schedule.
You sat quietly in the leather seat of the recording studio, waiting for your turn in the booth. Mindlessly, your fingers tore away at one of the label's of your water bottle. Your members eyed you subtly, a wave of sadness flushing in each of them as you were so deflated.
After a while, you felt their gaze on you. You looked up at them, offering them a soft smile, but they knew better. How you felt could be masked with your small, tired, and forced smile. They knew the one person who could cheer you up, in fact she was in the building, but they knew that you would be livid if any of them told Lisa, your close friend, what was going on.
If you asked anyone, they'd say that you and Lisa were one of the cutest pairing in YG's company but at the same time both of you took your careers above one another. Despite that, there was always that pull that kept you both on each other's toes. You knew that you could rely on her and she could with you, but as she was in the thick of her promotion for her own solo so you never wanted to distract her like that.
Make no mistake though, you would love to have her by your side right now but you couldn't stop the feeling of guilt that began to creep inside you when you thought of disrupting her for your own selfish needs. Your other member walked out of the recording booth when your managers called you for lunch.
You brushed them off and with a half-hearted smile, "I'll just chill out here. Maybe practice the song..." You explained as you threw your cell onto the leather seat. The group's leader eyed you suspiciously. "I don't think I've seen you eat the past few days, N/n..."
The smile on your face tightened uncomfortably. "Just heavy midnight snacks, unnie! No need to worry, but you should all get something for lunch. I'll be here." You said rushing them out of the room despite all their questions and concerns.
When they didn't push further, you sighed a breath of relief and slid towards the mic in the booth. Sadly poking the base of the mic. You did your best to sing the parts you knew they needed for backing vocals but your heart just wasn't in it and you found yourself repeating the same lines over and over again. Leaving a frustrated pit in your stomach.
"As much as I love your voice there could be some variety in words." You tore the headset from your ears, letting it fall onto your neck at the familiar, teasing voice. From the back of the producing board stood a smiling, banged Thai woman who made your heart flutter in your chest, almost masking the disappointment that reigned there.
You stared briefly into her bright brown eyes, a brow quirked up on your face your gaze shooting to the floor. "You aren't supposed to be here, Lisa." You said making your way back to the main room, eyes not meeting hers. The dancer leaned up against the edge of the table, the same charming smile over her plump, pink lips. "Never stopped me before, N/n."
Her smile grew as she pushed herself off the table and made her way over to you. Your skin jumped as you felt her hand on your arm, like she always did when she missed you. You avoided eye contact, a heavy blush taking over your cheeks made Lisa smile even wider. "Y-You could've at least called, Lisa."
"I was going to but when I saw your members all leaving together without you, I thought I'd shoot my shot." She paused, her eyes staring into yours. "And I missed you."
Though you could feel yourself melting at the thought, but again you simply turned around not wanting her to see how broken you were. Lisa was always the first to tell, even as friends. Without sparing her a second look you said, "Your comeback is dropping soon, you shouldn't be here."
Lisa tilted her head to the side curiously, "Is that why you haven't looked at me the entire time, Y/n?" With her words, you stoped fiddling with the items in your bag. You bit the inner layer of your cheek, feeling her draw closer. You felt her hand over yours, the warmth from hers lighting a flame in your skin.
"I can tell your hiding something, you can tell me..." You stood there silent, still not daring to look at her. Her shoulders fell as she saw your defenses beginning to break slowly, your lower lip quivering ever so slightly. Despite her better judgement, Lisa took you hand in hers. "I will always make time for you, solo, comeback, or promotion, I'm here, okay?"
Wordlessly, you finally turned to face her completely, your head falling onto her shoulder. For a moment, you both stand there, magnets just gravitated towards one another. "I don't want to be a burden to you or anyone..." You whispered, voice breaking under all the pressure. Lisa wrapped her arms around your shoulders, wanting protecting you from everything that came your way as a sob cracked from your lips.
You began ranting about everything that had been going downhill lately. Your mom, the company, everything, while Lisa stood there, listening to your stories carefully. Once everything came to a stop, Lisa pulled away. Enough that she could see your swollen eyes and red nose to say, "It's all going to work out, alright?" She began wiping away the tears that stained your face. "In the morning, we're going to YG himself to talk about a break for you to take care of your mom, get all your healths back in tip-top shape, and we're going to get through this."
"'We're'?" You asked, a tiny smile taking over your lips. The most genuine that she'd seen all afternoon. Lisa brushed her lips over your nose delicately before placing her forehead over yours. "Like I'd let you stand up to YG-nim on your own, N/n." You giggled softly, leaning into Lisa's touch, eyes going soft.
"Thank you, Lili." Lisa's grin grew tenfold before pulling away. "I'll pick you up after work? We can watch a movie and order take-out. The L family's really starting to miss you." She asked shyly, a rosy blush coating her cheeks. You leaned up and pecked her cheek gently.
"See you at 6, Lalisa." She rolled her eyes as you giggled softly, your smile slowly returning. Lisa opened the door but took one more look at you, warmth and love running rampant in her stomach and chest.
She'd do everything and anything for you. Whether either of you knew it, it was always all for you.
i did thoroughly enjoy writing that, i hope you all enjoyed reading it! i'm working hard to get back on a steady schedule but also my classes are going to start on October 18th so i'm going to have to do A LOT of adjusting
anyway, remember that requests are open and criticism and comments are completely welcomed 💓stay safe, see you all soon, and i love you all very much
stream lalisa yall❣️
#blackpink#blackpink x reader#blackpink imagines#blackpink reactions#blackpink fluff#lalisa manoban#lisa blackpink#lisa imagines#lisa x reader#lisa reactions#lisa fluff#kpop x reader#kpop fluff#kpop idol x reader#girl group x reader#girl group imagines#girl group reactions#girl group fluff#stream lalisa#purecantarella
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I don’t want to be a huge asshole, but...
There are a lot of people trying to find a modicum of positivity in the finale. It’s not about this Destiel-Bibro war that’s happened over the years, it’s not about Cas, it’s not about any of the superficial drama. This finale was the weirdest mixture of OOC and in character writing I have ever seen.
Things that are in character:
The brothers put each other first. They are each other’s safe place and stability. Up until the very end. Sam respected Dean’s wishes, stayed with him in his last moments, and let him go gracefully. Sam even went on and had a full life so Dean’s sacrifices weren’t in vain.
For Dean, Heaven wasn’t perfect without Sam there. And he had this huge sense of relief and happiness when Sam arrived.
Jack deconstructed the walls of Heaven so that it was a vast place where everyone could be together. They weren’t living out their “best memories” anymore. They were creating new memories eternally with each other. And Bobby recognizing that Jack is like Dean’s son by saying, “That boy of yours...”
Cas helped build the Heaven that he always dreamed of. Cas always had such a high standard for Heaven, and it always fell short. He helped Jack build a home that was warm and comforting and beautiful and open and loving and true. Everything Cas stood for.
Bobby, the man Dean adopted as his father, was there to share a beer with him (just like Dean shared with his dad in his childhood). And Bobby was happy and confirmed that Dean is in a Heaven he deserves.
Sam mourning Dean’s death for the rest of his life, but also living his life to honor Dean. Classic Sam.
Dean using his last moments to tell Sam how much he loves him and how proud he is. Sam deserved to hear that because we all know Sam looked at Dean as a parental figure.
Things that are OOC:
Sam not marrying Eileen. The show created this HUGE story arc around Sam and Eileen and their real love and connection. And then they shoot this finale and couldn’t even get an actress that looked like Eileen to stand it the blurry background. Like, I don’t care what you say, it’s NOT open to interpretation. Sam did not end up with Eileen. All of you people who are Sam stans, who say you want your character to be happy and live a full life should be livid. Sam ending up with Eileen wouldn’t have canceled out the fact that Dean was/is his number one person. Dean gave his blessing for Eileen, and he loved her and welcomed her into their lives because he knew Sam loved her and had a genuine connection with her. Having them together would not have ruined the ending in any way. Sam still could have ended up with Dean on that bridge.
That woman with the blonde/light brown hair is NOT Eileen. They couldn’t even get an actress with dark brown hair to keep hope alive that they ended up together. Absolutely awful.
Dean just accepting Cas’ death and not even talking about it, other than to say, “Yeah I think about em’ too.” I don’t care if you don’t believe in Destiel or that the love was reciprocated. Dean EXCLUSIVELY said multiple times that Cas is a member of their family and a brother to the boys. He said the words, “YOU”RE MY BEST FRIEND.” I’m not saying Dean should have scarified himself to go pull Cas out of the Empty (because we had 40 minutes to wrap up 15 years). But the fact that Dean was like: I’m gonna eat some pie and just not acknowledge any feelings or thoughts and act like nothing ever happened is SO OOC. If your best friend died tragically, you’d have something to say about it or act like you had something to say about it. And that’s not to say I wanted Dean to be miserable and hurting. I’m happy he got a dog and found some normalcy. But they lost SO many people, and he’s just walking around cool as a cucumber? When every other season/episode where they lost someone important to Dean he was a mess. And I’m not just talking about Cas- we all obviously know how Dean behaved when Cas died/was missing/Lucifer was controlling him. But even when Jo and Ellen died. Even when Mary died. Even when Bobby died. Even when John died. Even when Crowley died. Even when Jack died, Dean was shown hurting. Suddenly everything is cool and normal there’s no pain or anything? The fuck? A brief moment of acknowledgement. That’s all it needed.
I will never forgive the writers for ending Dean’s story that way. A rusty nail impaling him (probably in his pulmonary arteries/aorta based on the angle) on some random hunt after he finally exhaled the episode before and said, “We’re finally free.” He sacrificed his ENTIRE childhood and life for his brother and the world and so many other people, and he didn't even get to enjoy being a human on the Earth and living a life for more than a week. What! Dean was always a character filled with tragedy, and yeah, maybe he did have to die. You can make that argument. But like that?! AND. AND! Sam held a funeral for Dean and DIDN’T INVITE ANYONE! What!!! No one was there to toast to Dean and share their memories and give him the send-off he deserved. Sam just burned his body alone. Never. That would have NEVER happened. Sam loved Dean SO much and looked up to him and thought the world of him. Dean was his big brother who was fearless and strong and the best hunter on this Earth (and probably every other planet), and he didn’t celebrate his life in the end?
Cas not showing up in Heaven is absolutely insane. INSANE. It doesn’t matter what you think of their relationship, the show has proven that Cas is important to Dean (even if you think Cas is way at the bottom of the list, he’s on it!). Dean’s ideal retirement/endgame was him, Sam, and Cas on a beach, drinking cocktails, with hula girls. That was the future Dean wanted for him and his family. And you’re telling me that Cas helped Jack build the best version of Heaven possible, and the minute Dean Winchester arrived Cas wasn’t there to greet him. Even just to say “Hello, Dean.” Even call Dean’s phone and say, “Welcome home.” Cas would have been the one greeting Dean in Heaven, with Bobby. Requited or not, it’s canon that Cas is in love with Dean. You don’t just ignore the opportunity to see the person you’re in love with. And... and! Even if Cas didn’t greet Dean in Heaven immediately, he would have appeared in the Impala during the drive. He would have met the brothers on the bridge to welcome them both home. Cas loved Sam too. He would have been there. The three boys together again. Team Free Will!
I love Cas, and I know a lot of Cas stans feel buried and betrayed and hurt over the show doing a “is he there or isn’t he?” thing. And that is completely valid. I can’t even express to you how sorry I am that so many of us in the fandom are hurting. But I know this show. And this show has always made it clear that it was/is always about two brothers. Fine. But Dean Winchester, the most caring and loving human in the entire universe, deserved better. I am so sick to my stomach that Dean’s whole life was him convinced that there was only one way for his story to end and it was him dying tragically. For years he never let himself even entertain the thought of living a life because he 1) didn’t think he deserved that or was worth it 2) it just wasn’t in the cards. We watched Dean grow so much, SO MUCH, that we finally saw him talking about the future and having hope for the future. And yeah, maybe he wouldn’t get the future he talked about with the retirement on the beach, but he would have lived long enough to experience life outside of just “playing whack-a-mole” and being God’s favorite story and puppet. Dean didn’t even get to enjoy his freedom and humanity. They took a character that they purposefully pushed through so many stages of character development to attain hope and faith and self-worth and promise, and killed him.
What the fuck!
#spn finale#spn 15x20#spn 15.20#spn spoilers#I truly have no words#it was such lazy writing I don't even know#dean winchester#Sam Winchester#castiel#jack kline#bobby singer#Team Free Will#team free will 2.0#saileen#eileen leahy#sam and eileen#sam x eileen#destiel#deancas#dean/castiel#dean x castiel#cas#my fucking heart hurts so badly#spn meta
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I Have Some Feelings
To start let me just emphasize how much I love and adore this show and always will. This was my covid show. Both of my kids loved “Lucifer” and always said I should watch so at the start of covid I binged it and when I say binged, I mean all 4 seasons in a few days and have rewatched so many times I’ve lost count. I think it is timeless, engrossing, original and all around amazing. The writing and the cast were all excellent. The writing was smart and consistently strong and that is so rare. Funny, sad, poignant, it hit all the notes with very few plot holes or missteps. There is not one episode in the entire series that was not engaging. Even if I didn’t like an episode, it was still well done. What a rarity.
The cast is scary good. Completely underrated. Just all phenomenally talented. I don’t remember the last time a cast was this strong. From the core group to both reoccurring and guest stars, the cast was just fantastic.
Tom Ellis, no words. The man deserves to choose whatever he wants to do acting wise. He should have people breaking down his door. He can truly do it all and do it all well. He took a character that if portrayed by a lesser actor could have come off as a complete asshole and made him one of the most sympathetic and loveable characters in recent history. Ellis made a crime solving devil, a promiscuous man-child that occasionally breaks into song and the evidence room into a beloved character that has become an icon.
Lauren German, WOW. She is just so damn good. She can break your heart one second and have you laughing the next. She makes Chloe real, and people don’t realize how hard that is. Chloe is smart, kind, tough and gorgeous but she’s also an insecure dork. She’s us and German just brings it.
DB Woodside I’ve loved since “Buffy”. He is a phenomenal actor and who knew he could bring the laughs so well? His expressions were classic. Clueless angel indeed. Amenadiel could have been very one-dimensional but because of Woodside’s talent he became fully fleshed out and full bodied.
I have no doubt Lesley-Ann Brandt has a huge career in front of her. She took a character that very well could have been hated, a demon and made her into one of the most human characters on the show. Kudos to her for taking a tough role and making it her own.
Kevin Alejandro is another actor I’ve loved for a long time. He also took a character who if we’re going to be honest here did so many unlikeable things that he should have been truly despised but because of Kevin’s portrayal he was beloved. Great actor and a terrific director.
Rachael Harris IMO is the downlow MVP. She was literally the rock and again, with a lesser actress the role could have been a throwaway. The normal human, the sounding board but Harris imbued her with so much more. Her spit takes, sarcasm and her obvious compassion was what made Dr. Linda an unforgettable character. Once again just perfect casting.
Aimee Garcia was a great addition. She made Ella a fan fav and put so much heart, joy and sincerity into Ella never once did you doubt that she would prevail no matter what was thrown at her. Garcia was just fantastic, and I want her skin care regime.
Scarlett Estevez pulled off the one thing I thought almost impossible. She took the role of a young child and made it so I didn’t want to cringe. She portrayed Trixie so beautifully from day one that she was a true pleasure to watch. Even though Trixie was super precocious Estevez never made her obnoxious. I loved Trixie and I have never said that about any child character in an adult show. She was wonderful and has an amazing career in front of her.
That said, I’ve got some feelings now that I’ve seen the finale and have had some time to digest it all. I love that Chloe and Lucifer had eternity and I agree that they had to be separated for Chloe’s lifetime. Didn’t like it but it’s the logical path. She’s human, he’s not. The ageing thing alone necessitated them not being together long term on earth and that’s just to start the list. They had to had to be apart for the short term to get their eternity but the duality of Lucifer's ending and Amenadiel's didn't sit right. Amenadiel as God got to have it all. His calling, his family etc. while Lucifer had to give up everything. I also don’t buy the “If he came up from hell, he could never leave them again” defense. I call bullshit. Amenadiel managed, plus, missing out on the day to day is a huge sacrifice and by Lucifer missing out on the day-to-day Rory could still have had the hatred she needed to drive the story. Popping in for birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc., the big stuff does not a father make. Not being there for skinned knees, first heartbreaks, and all the little things a daughter needs her dad for can build up tons of resentment. Boom, absentee father, just like his dad was. That provides all the millennial angel angst you could ask for. I have a daughter; it doesn’t take much.
The Trixie issue was huge for me. Can Chloe see her in Heaven? Will she be able to travel to Heaven and visit Trixie, Penelope, Dan, her father? Chloe hesitated leaving Heaven in 5x16 because she couldn’t bear saying good-bye to her dad again. It seems as if Chloe sacrificed everything for Rory including Trixie. I want to preface this by saying. I liked Rory and loved the actress. I didn’t however like how it was as if she were their only child. When Lucifer spoke of family Trixie was not mentioned. Their family day, the same thing. She didn’t need to be there, I get that the explanation regarding Rory would have been way too much to get into but just a mention of her, how awesome it would have been to share this day with her would have worked. It seemed as if Lucifer went from, “I would do anything to protect that little Urchin” to “Trixie who”. Trixie was a character that we watched grow up and she meant something to us. I hate to say this, but the writers did Trixie and the viewers dirty in this regard.
This show was built around a few premises. Free will, honesty, redemption, sacrifice and family, both blood and made. The ending completely negated almost all of these. Chloe and their entire family were made into the one thing Lucifer abhorred the most which are liars. Their daughter was brought up surrounded by lies. What did they tell Trixie? The poor kid just lost her dad, and she was pissed at Lucifer when he went back to hell the first time. Did she grow up hating him because as far as she knew Lucifer left her mom again without saying good-bye and this time it was even worse because Chloe was pregnant. I get that the actress who plays Trixie had limited availability but seriously. A quick good-bye.
“Hey Urchin, you won’t understand why for a long time, but I have to leave. You know I never lie so I can’t explain why but know that I love you and your mom and one day I hope you can forgive me.”
A 30 second scene would have worked.
As all the characters learned throughout the series, omission of the truth is just a form of lying and there are always repercussions i.e., Chloe and Father Kinley, Dan shooting Lucifer, Maze finding out about Lilith and even Ella not being told. As far as free will, both Chloe and Lucifer had their free will taken from them in the end. By Rory forcing them to abide by her wishes, their free will was forfeited. It was a huge manipulation on Rory’s part and considering how much Lucifer hated manipulations it just didn’t sit right.
Parents making huge sacrifices I get. Chloe and Lucifer sacrificed everything for their child. Unfortunately for me this sacrifice, the way it was written seemed contrived to pull out maximum and IMO unjustified angst. I love angst. Hell, this is my favorite show. I thrive on the angst. But as I wrote earlier, all the anger, angst and hatred towards Lucifer could have been achieved without having Lucifer completely out of the picture. I have two kids and my husband, and I have made huge life altering sacrifices for them as many parents do but being there for the day-to-day little things was what made the difference in their lives and cemented the close relationships we have with them.
“Yeah, dad you were great. Showing up for the fun stuff, always swooping in for the big finish to play the hero then ditching us when things got tough. When Grandma was dying where were you? Nice that you showed up for the funeral but the six months leading up to it…we needed you and once again you weren’t there. When T got sick, when Jen broke my heart, blah, blah, blah…”
Even the whole Chloe dying scenario. They could have written it that rage Rory traveled minutes before Lucifer got there. Have him pop in right after Rory comes back. There were so many ways to achieve the end game they wanted other than the way they went. It seemed contrived and as if they took the easy way out to get where they needed to go. The Rory rage that was the catalyst for her traveling back in time and Lucifer finding his calling could still have been accomplished without the whole Lucifer disappearing storyline.
Now that I’ve finished my diatribe there’s a couple of additional things I would like to say. Lucifer is and always will be one of my favorite shows of all time. There are not enough words to describe the comfort and enjoyment this show has brought me. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the producers, cast and crew. You truly created something special.
To the fandom. Please do not let a polarizing conclusion rip apart the fandom. The only other fandom I was a part of tore itself apart so badly that the FBI got involved. Hence why I waited for 15 years to dip my toe in again. Everyone invested in this show has the right to their feelings. Debate is fine, baiting and bullying are not. The Lucifer fandom like the show is very special. Without the fandom we wouldn’t have gotten any conclusion so don’t let opposing viewpoints tarnish what has been a magical journey.
#lucifer#season6#spoilers#lucifer spoilers#lucifer season6 spoilers#lucifer morningstar#chloe decker#trixie espinoza#rory morningstar#luciferseason6#tom ellis#lauren german#db woodside#lesley-ann brandt#rachael harris#kevin alejandro#scarlett estevez#brianna hildebrand
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MLB Season 4 Character Analysis: "Shadow Moth's Final Attack (Risk & Strikeback)"
Introduction
Here we are at last, the season 4 finale. Since you guys didn't tell me whether I should make this two separate posts or not in my Penalteam analysis I decided to make them one post since it's the season finale. If you missed that post you can find it here. If this is the first time you're seeing one of these posts, then you've arrived very late in the game. Here I look at the individual characters in every individual episode of season 4 to lay out their overall story and the reasons behind why they do what they do.
So this episode... I bet no one was expecting to see Gabriel actually get all the Miraculous. Granted he had help from Felix disguising himself as Adrien but he wouldn't have been able to do what he did without Shadow Moth making his move with both Risk and Strikeback. A lot of things go down this episode and I personally believe that it's the best season finale we've had by far so let's get into this analysis.
Character POVs
Marinette/Ladybug
"Why don't you just give up on me? I lost all the Miraculous! I'm the worst Guardian ever! I wanted to control everything! I didn't listen to you! I lied to you! I kept you at a distance! Every time you offered me a helping hand, I never took it! I really made a mess of everything!"
Just as Cat Noir solved his side of the miscommunication in "Kuro Neko", Ladybug solved her side in this finale. In that episode, she came to the conclusion that Cat Noir was feeling useless and she should do everything she can to let him know how much he means to her as we see at the beginning of the first part, "Risk" she assured him that he was still special to her even though things aren't the way they used to be anymore by giving him a kiss on the cheek when he once again voices his feelings to her.
But their relationship still continues to have problems due to Ladybug still sending the wrong messages to Cat Noir on her side which is understandable due to her Cat Blanc trauma as it was highlighted in "Strikeback". But despite her trying to control everything, what led to her downfall was something that was completely out of her control, that is Felix swapping places with Adrien on the same day Shadow Moth decided to launch one of his biggest attacks yet and by the end of the episode everything from her nightmare in "Sentibubbler" came true except for one thing. Someone she trusted with a Miraculous betrayed her (Felix disguised as Adrien), Alya revealed her secret to someone (Nino) and Shadow Moth got all the Miraculous. But the one part of her nightmare that didn't come true was Cat Blanc because even after all the mistakes she's made Cat Noir is still by her side, as loyal as ever.
One thing to note on the Marinette side of things is that when Adrien told her about how much he hated being a model and how much he didn't want to go on the trip, she unlike Felix and Kagami didn't ridicule or scold him for not being able to stand up to his father but understood his perspective and tried to help Adrien herself when her friends didn't believe her when she said that Adrien didn't want to go on the trip which is understandable because everyone (including the fandom from what I've seen) sees her as Marinette: the girl who comes up with ridiculous nonsense in her head and does stupid things.
2. Adrien/Cat Noir
"If only you knew how sick I was of all of it. The photos, the film shoots, all these people fawning over me who don't even know me, these ads that don't make any sense and now I'm expected to just leave my friends and travel to the end of the world for I don't know how long with Lila?"
Now moving onto Adrien who finally opened up to someone about how feels deep down about modelling and leaving his friends behind to go on a world trip with Lila and this strengthened his relationship with Marinette. All of Adrien's relationships have crumbled upto this point but his relationship with Marinette on the other hand has been unaffected at worst and improved at best as we've been building up to with the episodes like "Lies", "Queen Banana" and "Rocketear". When he saw the opportunity to not leave with Felix he was desperate and took it which was a grave mistake.
On the Cat Noir side of things, his relationship with Ladybug still has some work since Ladybug still hasn't opened up on her side which again is understandable with her Cat Blanc trauma but Cat Noir doesn't know that and that led to him believing that Ladybug doesn't care about him and is leaving him in the dark about everything which was their argument in "Strikeback" and when Ladybug tells him to go and detransform this led him to thinking that Ladybug doesn't appreciate him again and with the influence of Risk, he recklessly faced off against Strikeback which led to them obtaining the his Cataclysm. But towards the end of the episode when he as Adrien sees how much pressure Ladybug has been under this entire time he felt bad for her and went to their special spot as Cat Noir because he knew he needed her now more than ever.
3. Alya
"I'm sorry. I couldn't keep it from him."
Finally we have Alya due to whom Shadow Moth found out that she was still active as Rena Furtive due to telling Nino in "Rocketear" but to be fair though, if she hadn't told Nino she probably would've died in the scene where Carapace protected her so it was a lose-lose either way.
After Ladybug found out she felt remorse for her mistake and even though Ladybug forgave her and didn't intend to take away her Miraculous, Alya thought it best to renounce her Miraculous and give it back to her which truly shows how much she learned as has grown as a hero throughout this season.
Conclusion
Well, that's it. Here we are at the end of these character analysis posts, at least for season 4. After the English dub episodes of all of season 5 have been released I'll probably do analysis posts for those as well but for now this is the end. It's been a fun ride everyone, let me know what you thought of this analysis and the series as a whole and with that being said, I'll probably be seeing you again with season 5.
#ml character analysis#mlb characterization#ml season 4#ml shadow moth's final attack#ml risk#ml strike back#marinette sugar#ladybug sugar#marinette dupain cheng#ml ladybug#adrien sugar#adrien agreste#ml cat noir
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Do you happen to have any fics to help restore ones love for the irondad fandom? I'm suddenly afraid of loosing interest. Perhaps I haven't read a good fic in a while.
Oh, there is so much variety in the Irondad fandom that I guess it depends on what you enjoy. Here are a few of my favorites from across the board.
Whump with Feelings:
Of Flying and Falling by @polaroid15
Peter hums as if in deep thought. The blood on his face is bright and unrelenting in the glow of the fire, like some permanent reminder of Tony's failures. “Did you know my parents died in a plane crash?”
Tony jolts, the response hitting him like a freight train. He rubs Peter’s arm as his throat tightens. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”
“They must’ve been really scared.”
“Are you scared Peter?”
---
Or, on their way home from a fancy conference on the coast of Vancouver, Tony and Peter's helicopter crashes, ending what should have been a perfect weekend filled with maple ice cream and sea water in a desperate battle for survival.
A Mermaid AU:
Petey and the Hermit by eccentric_artist_221b
Three years after losing his wife and child to a fatal car accident, Tony Stark courts his darkest thoughts at the top of an old, abandoned lighthouse. Preserved at the last second by the supposed screams of a drowning victim, Tony leaps into action. Finding an injured merboy trapped in trawler lines between the crevice of a rock, he can only assume this is part of a whiskey induced dream. As he brings the creature home to nurse its wounds, he soon discovers this is more than he signed up for when it begins to form a bond with him.
Age Regression:
close to my heart, never to part by @parkrstark
During patrol one night, Peter comes across something that leaves him and Ned dumbfounded. The next morning, Ned is dropping off a now two-year-old Peter at Tony’s. Not only does he have to figure out how to turn him back, but he must watch him. Tony wonders what he’s supposed to do with the now toddler-Peter for the next two weeks…until he slowly starts to wonder what he will do without this boy after the two weeks are over.
Amnesia Victim Peter Parker:
Do You Know Who You Are? by loubuttons
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For forgetting. I’m sure I didn’t want to forget you.”
Amnesia Victim- Tony Stark:
Identity [REDACTED] by @obsessionoftheday
Dissociative fugue is one or more episodes of amnesia in which an individual cannot recall some or all of his or her past. Either the loss of one's identity or the formation of a new identity may occur with sudden, unexpected, purposeful travel away from home.
OR
When Tony goes missing, Peter and Rhodey team up to find him.
Migraine and Injury two for one:
Keeping Company by @whumphoarder and @xxx-cat-xxx
While attempting to look after his migraine-riddled mentor, Peter manages to injure himself badly enough to need Tony’s help.
Lots of Fluff:
t-shirts by KiwisAndTea @kiwisandtea
A collection of one-shots centered around Peter Parker's favorite shirts. They serve only two purposes:
1. to embarrass Peter
2. to make Tony Feel™ Things
Humor:
Sole Heir by GotMyInkPen @gotmyinkpen
Tony Stark has officially decided that Peter Parker is his sole heir and will one day inherit Stark Industries. Here's how Peter prepares for that day.
Kid Peter Parker- Hydra :
darkness will be rewritten by @marveal
"Richard Parker was studying Cross-Species Genetics, but struggled with the ethics of it, because it required he use human DNA, which no ethics board would agree with. So he used his own. His work was successful based off of his own DNA, and every human has a unique DNA,” Bruce explains. “So, naturally, when HYDRA wanted his research, they knew they would never get his support, so they took the next best thing they could to his own DNA. His son."
Or, Tony finds a tortured and experimented-on Peter Parker in a HYDRA base and decides to help him because who else will?
Adoption AU:
I told you I had issues by Bergen
Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and right now, a little exasperated. Because some guy is swinging around New York, shooting webs and making trouble, Fury is breathing down his neck, and his latest intern took off with his coupon for a free coffee.
Thank god for Pepper Potts.
--
...or, a Spider-Man AU where a set of bad circumstances begin to push Peter Parker down a wrong path, and where Tony is probably not the best person to deal with it, but he does anyway.
Kid Peter Meets Tony :
i promise you, kid, you'll be home soon by bstarship
If there was one good thing to come out of Tony's ultimate death at the end of the week, it was the ability to forget for a short period of time. He spent his time surrounded by strangers who idolized him and friends who sometimes gave less of a damn. But it was a kid who grounded him—who made him wish he had more time because he reminded him that there were good things to live for. One kid did all that.
Truly, Tony didn’t know how to make sense of it. A part of him told him to be unabashedly humble. Another part said to leave the kid and drive to Miami with the top down until his eyes fell out of their sockets.
A kid who had a shopping bag tied around his wrist with the Stark Expo logo on the side. A kid who was silent for a while until he finally said, “I have to use the bathroom.”
It was just a kid. A kid.
or
Peter is eight-years-old and loves everything about Iron Man. Tony is dying and helps a lost kid find his aunt and uncle.
Sickfic:
Sick and Lost by @kittybellestark
Peter’s sick and took the wrong bus. He meant to go to New Jersey but ends up in not New Jersey and calls Tony for help. He isn't having a great time but at least he has Tony on his side.
Okay, I could go on ALL DAY so I think I’ll stop here. If you find something you enjoy and want more things like it, let me know!
#asked and answered#marvel fic rec#awesome reads!#don't forget to kudos and comment#tony stark#peter parker#irondad and spiderson#marvel#iron man#spider man#mcu#marvel fanfiction#irondad fandom
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I just caught up to the current episode of 911. Jesus that ending 😭 I’m pretty sure I sat there and stared at the tv for a good five minutes afterwards in shock right along with Buck.
Okay get comfy because this is going to get long. I have a lot of thoughts on why I think it’s more likely than ever that Buddie will become canon. I’ve seen a lot of fandom talking about why they feel the same and honestly it’s not surprising given the way that shooting scene played out. But I have some other thoughts I haven’t seen talked about yet too.
--
I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not I think Buddie will happen. I want them to get together in canon and I think the show should definitely make it happen and not just because us fans want it to happen either.
Since Eddie arrived the show has continually written Buck and Eddie in a way to say to the audience there’s more going on there. So I don’t think it’s some far fetched idea that so many of us ship them or want to see them end up together. I’ve shipped many characters who I knew were never going to get together in canon but Buddie has always felt different. It’s not just wishful thinking there’s a lot of substance there provided by the writers.
Still more recently I’d kind of lost hope that Buddie was ever going to happen. Throughout season 4 I’ve been wondering if the show was working on pulling Buck and Eddie in different directions. I figured maybe they were just tired of listening to the fans yell about Buddie. I figured it’s why we had been seeing a lot more of Taylor and Ana and why we rarely see Buck and Eddie and Chris spending time together the way we used to in season 3. It had actually been bumming me out a lot because I miss that dynamic in the show.
---
Last night’s episode changed my mind on that though and not just because of the shooting. I was worried at first when I saw that Carla was meeting Ana because I wondered where this was going. Like was the show trying to solidify Ana as a more substantial part of Eddie’s life now? Were they trying to show that she was important enough to start meeting more of the people in Eddie’s life? But I realized after watching that the whole reason Ana was even included in the episode was for Eddie and Carla to have the convo they did.
Eddie and Carla talk about Carla’s dad. Carla says that she was thankful she got to spend time with him (before he died) and she was sorry she left them (Eddie and Chris) Eddie says “you were where you were supposed to be”. When Eddie says that Carla gets this look on her face like she’s considering his words and thinking about the meaning and responds with a line of questioning that gets her to asking Eddie about Ana. Mainly I think because Carla is one of the people who knows Buck and Eddie better than anyone and when Eddie said to her “you were where you were supposed to be” she was likely thinking so how come you’re not where you’re supposed to be with Buck?
Eddie and Carla talk about Chris and how Eddie had been worried about him (after what happened to Shannon) and how happy he is to have Ana around. Carla presses Eddie about how he feels about Ana and Eddie simply says “it’s easy being with her” (aka he doesn’t have to be emotionally invested). Carla responds and says she’s glad Eddie is moving on but most importantly she tells him “just be sure that you’re following your heart and not Christopher’s”.
The show easily could have framed this whole scene in a different way if they were planning on making Ana and Eddie into a more significant thing. Eddie could have responded and said he was following his heart being with Ana. The show could have shown Eddie watching Ana and Christopher with a sense of ease and love on his face instead he clearly looked like he was thinking about what Carla said and it was obvious he’d been running from the fact he was only with Ana for Christopher.
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The other thing that made me feel like Buddie is much more of a certainty and the main thing I wanted to write this for since I haven’t seen anyone else really talking about it is what’s going on with the other couples and how that correlates with Buddie.
911 is obviously an ensemble show so some characters and ships will inevitably get more attention than others still there’s usually some that are the consistent main. For example Hen and Karen they’re a great couple but I wouldn’t necessarily call them a main couple of the show. To me the central canon couple of 911 is Athena and Bobby and second to them I think would be Chim and Maddie at least in season 4 where they’ve had a lot of focus given the baby storyline.
I think we’re headed towards both of these couples being on the rocks. Clearly Athena and Bobby are about to go through some stuff. I’m hoping Bobby doesn’t die but no matter what their marriage is in trouble at this moment. As for Maddie and Chim I think it’s likely that they’re headed for a postpartum depression storyline so that will probably spell some trouble for them too.
My point in all of this is if you watch the ending of the recent episode right after the argument between Athena and Bobby we saw the shooting with Buck and Eddie. In the promo for the next episode the majority of what we see is Buck and Eddie juxtaposed with what’s going on with Athena and Bobby and Chim and Maddie.
TV shows particularly drama ones like 911 ebb and flow and there’s usually some kind of balance. If you have one or more of your main couples in the middle of the worst times chances are you’ll see other couples in the best times. So while Athena and Bobby might be unraveling which hopefully is just temporary) in the midst of this shooting Buddie might be coming together or at least closer to getting there. More on that below. 👇
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I don’t necessarily think that Buddie will just magically get together in the last episode of season 4. Part of me doesn’t even want that to happen. I think it makes much more sense for things with Buddie to happen gradually. Besides which nothing in tv ever wraps up that neat and tidy anyway. Shows like 911 thrive on drama so if Buddie is going to happen there has to be conflict involved before they get to that point.
My guess is that this shooting will push one of them to recognize their feelings for the other and he’ll want to tell the other one but something will stop him. I think it could be Buck. Like maybe while Eddie is recovering Buck talks to Taylor and finally realizes/admits his feelings for Eddie, to which she says something snarky like she knew that already. She pushes him to go tell Eddie the truth but when Buck goes to the hospital he ends up seeing Ana there and decides not to tell him. Maybe in season 5 we have to watch Buck figuring out his sexuality and dealing with his feelings for Eddie while seeing Eddie with someone else.
911 could also surprise us and it could be Eddie who realizes his feelings for Buck. We had that scene with Carla and Eddie and it’s clear that Eddie is only with Ana for Christopher. We had Carla telling Eddie to follow his heart. When you look at the symbolism of what happened during the shooting Eddie’s blood ended up all over Buck which is like a trail to this heart (albeit a morbid one) not to mention Eddie reached out for Buck when he was on the ground. So Eddie could wake up and realize the truth about his feelings for Buck and want to tell him but be afraid to loose his best friend. Or maybe Eddie is afraid to change anything now that Christopher seems happy again finally.
There could also just be a scene with them in the hospital or maybe Buck comes to stay with Eddie and Christopher to help take care of Eddie and and it’s clear the atmosphere has changed between them. Like we don’t get anything super serious yet but there’s something more there and they both feel it but aren’t acting on it yet. Maybe Buck tells Eddie how he felt when he saw him get shot maybe Eddie tells him he reached for him. Maybe they both realize they couldn’t bare to loose the other.
Everything that’s happened thus far with Buck and Eddie feels like it’s leading towards something. It definitely feels like something is going to change with them heading into season 5. I feel like they’re going to leave us on some kind of cliffhanger and then drag out whatever happens next season. Which makes sense as it incentives more people to watch. But I’m more optimistic than ever that Buddie will happen now.
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I do agree with what others have said that there’s no place really for the writers to go now than to put Buck and Eddie together even if it doesn’t happen immediately. The shooting scene was completely framed like Buck watched the man he loved get shot and they were even wearing complimenting colors which is something I’ve seen done often in movies and tv for lovers. They were staring at each other and reaching out. I mean how do you explain that if it doesn’t lead anywhere?
Not to mention the whole thing was done in slow motion and the scene didn’t focus on anyone else besides Eddie and Buck for a few minutes. It even had an almost a freeze frame with the two staring at each other across the street and since there was blood and the ambulance the whole scene was lit up bright red. And apart from everything else red is pretty much universally known as the color for love.
One other thing I forgot to add was that the convo with Eddie and Carla happened in an episode called Suspicion where people are keeping things from the people they love. The mother keeping things from her bridezilla daughter, Bobby and Athena keeping things from each other, Maddie keeping her depression from Chimney, Hen’s mom keeping how sick she was from Hen.
Why would 911 choose this episode in particular to feature all this important Buddie stuff? That important convo with Carla and Eddie where Carla basically tells Eddie she knows he’s not following his heart. That crazy intense moment with the shooting where Buck and Eddie are just staring at each other like soulmates having to watch the person they love die.
Maybe because both Buck and Eddie have things they’re hiding? Things they’re hiding from themselves and things they’re keeping from the person they love the most. Each other.
#911 fox#buddie#911 4x13#911 on fox#911!#long post#tw: postpartum depression#tw: blood#911 s4#buddie s4
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Bar Service (fic)
Fandom: Bleach
Characters/Pairing: IchiRuki
Summary: Bartenders--especially bartenders around the corner from her apartment--are strictly off limits. Restaurant AU. Written for @ichirukimonth . TW warning for mentioned child abuse.
She doesn’t think much of the restaurant a few blocks away from her new apartment.
She always passes it to and from her work commute, of course. Maybe from time to time she glanced over, musing how it looks cute enough--a great place to take a date or some friends....
Before Rukia remembers: 1. She doesn’t have the time or capacity to date, and 2. She has no friends here yet… And probably won’t for a while, considering her lifelong difficulty making them in the first place.
It’s fine by her, honestly. She likes throwing everything she has into her job, loves doing her best to earn a smile or laugh from her patients. That’s enough social interaction for her, and at the end of the day she can go home, pour a glass of wine, switch the television on to some silly drama and order takeout without mourning the “loss” of a Friday night.
So for the first few months that she’s living in Karakura: no. She doesn’t even think about stepping foot in Amore e Morte.
Until she gets a particularly bad case at work.
The fact that it was a foster child case alone makes her heart hurt--but of course, there’s always more with these sort of situations.
A little girl named Hina, aged eight but looking so much smaller waiting there in her office. The social worker sitting with her--a woman named Rangiku, who Rukia knows a little and actually quite likes--squeezes Hina’s tiny hand before pulling Rukia to the side, quietly explaining the situation.
Physical abuse from her former home where she had been for a year. Her teacher kept noticing bruises in odd places and finally called CPS, who did nothing for two months before the behavior escalated and Hina ended up in the ER.
Her new foster mom is a real nice lady, says she hasn’t been acting out or anything but… Rangiku shrugs, flashing a reassuring smile when the little girl looks their way. You know.
She knows.
So Rukia does what she does best: she goes to the little girl, introduces herself by her first name, and focuses on her work until she can sob angrily in her car at lunch break.
And when her workday is done, when her emotions are fried and she’d really like a drink or three anywhere but her lonely apartment--she sees the restaurant’s sign, glowing warmly in the dusk light.
Amore e Morte. Love and death. A weird name for a restaurant, she thinks, and wonders if the owners either don’t know Italian and thought the name was cool or are just uppity snobs.
If you’d stop being so cynical you might go out and actually enjoy life. She can practically hear Renji’s voice scoffing in her ear now.
She parks her car at home before walking back over to the restaurant.
--
The outside of the restaurant is nice enough, but the inside is… Well. Lovely.
Brick walls painted white make the entire place look minimalist yet cozy. A couple of trendy paintings hanging sparsely through the restaurant makes the environment chic, but not overbearing. A few hanging lanterns bring just enough light to let everyone see where they’re going, but otherwise candles are utilized at each of the tables for a romantic touch.
Rukia sees by the sheer number of couples there that it is indeed a good place to bring a date.
And by the looks of one dish smelling deliciously of chicken and bell peppers that passes her by in a waiter’s hand, the food isn’t too bad either. Rukia’s mouth waters.
“A table for one, miss?”
Rukia startles from her musings, feeling rather silly as the bright and cheery hostess smiles patiently back.
“Oh! No, I don’t think that’s necessary. I wouldn’t want to take up one of your tables. Do you have bar seating?”
“Of course! Right this way.”
The hostess leads her into an adjacent room that sits tucked away from the main dining room. There’s still a couple of tables in this room, and two of the eight bar stools are occupied but it’s so much quieter here, the noise of the dining room a mere buzz. She breathes a small sigh of relief as she takes the stool at the far end. She wanted to be out and about, just… Not that out and about.
“Our bartender Kurosaki-kun will be taking care of you. I believe he’s just in the back talking to Chef, he should be right back.”
Rukia thanks her, taking a glance at the menu.
She quickly finds out Chef Yasutora Sado’s menu inspiration is Mexican-Japanese fusion cuisine, which is… Interesting, considering the restaurant’s name is Italian. In any case, she’s fascinated. Rukia by no account considers herself a foodie, but the thought of blending traditional Japanese dishes with Mexican spices and turning them into something like sukiyaki tacos makes her stomach growl.
“Can I get you something other than water to drink?”
Her gaze flickers from the menu to the well-toned arm extended out toward her, pouring a glass of water. Her eyes move up the arm to the man it’s attached to.
A handsome guy, she’ll admit: if it wasn’t for the obviously bleached orange hair, the sword tattoo on his forearm peeking out from under his rolled sleeve, and the fact that he looked like he wanted to be literally anywhere else.
If she had to pick him out from a crowd, there’s no doubt she’d know him as a bartender. What a walking cliche.
“Yes, I’ll take--” She didn’t even take a glance at the drink menu. She looks down quickly. “Sorry. Can I get a matcha mojito?”
He nods, his hands suddenly flying through liquors and shakers and mixes to make her drink. “You ready for food, too?”
“Any recommendations?”
“Everything.”
She snorts. She’d be irritated by the subpar service if it wasn’t for his small smirk at her response.
“Seriously, everything’s good here. If you get something you don’t like, drinks are on me.”
“Risky.” Rukia lifted an eyebrow. “You place that bet with every customer?”
“Every single one.”
She highly doubts that, but she appreciates the trust in his workplace nonetheless. She orders a couple of small plates, and he tends to his other drink orders while she sips her own.
The food, when it comes out, is… Infuriatingly good. Infuriating because she would have loved to have scored a couple free drinks off the arrogant punk bartender, but she’ll have to swallow her pride because the sukiyaki taco is absolute divinity. She sips her second drink, already accepting that she’s gonna have to admit to him she’ll be paying full price for everything she ordered.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like she’ll have a chance to gloat. From what she hears next door, dinner service has picked up and with that: drink orders. He’s doing as well as he can--hands expertly flying through the liquors, garnishing the cocktails with an expert flourish before passing them on to a server--but she can tell he’s feeling the stress, particularly when he reads his second to last ticket in the rush.
“Fuck,” she hears as he rolls his eyes, stalking over to the wine cabinet. A server comes by, concerned.
“You need anything, Ichigo?”
He waves a hand, not turning to look at his coworker. “No, no I’m fine. Just annoying when I don't open a bottle before rush, that’s all.”
The server scuttles off to tend to her tables while Rukia watches him bang a (very expensive looking) wine bottle on the counter, clumsily ripping into the foil with an opener. At one point he cuts his thumb, and he half-hazardly wraps a paper napkin around it while he tries helplessly to pull the cork up. The wine opener doesn’t grip the bottle steadily a couple of times, she waits on baited breath to see if he’ll break the bottle. After a few dangerous-looking test runs, he manages to hoist the cork up, cursing out a “fucking finally” at the sound of the cork popping.
The whole thing must have taken ten minutes.
Maybe it’s the matcha mojitos finally hitting her, but she can’t help it. She laughs.
He shoots her a wild look and she covers her chuckles with the back of her hand.
“Sorry, sorry! I’m not--it’s not funny. I just… That was the most atrocious opening of a wine bottle I’ve ever seen.”
Ichigo stares for a moment before scoffing, turning back to his (finally opened) bottle and pours the wine into a glass. “Yeah, well… I don’t do wine service here, lady.”
“Excuse me? That’s ridiculous. You’re a bartender.”
“Exactly. Bartender. I do cocktails, not fancy wine stuff.”
“Let me guess, you consider yourself a mixologist.”
“Don’t ever call me that. Ever.” He’s shaking his head as he moves on to his next order, but oddly enough Rukia feels like she knows he’s suddenly having a good time. “Like I said, I don’t do wine etiquette and all that. That’s for the servers.”
“I’m just… It’s hard to believe you’ve made it this far in a nicer restaurant’s bar without knowing how to open wine.”
“Not that far. I’ve been here for like, six months.” He shrugs at her inquisitive stare. “Old buddies with the chef. I bar backed in college where he was a line cook, so… And if he ever got sick of me, my sister is his sous chef. Then again, she’s more likely to fire me than he is, the brat.”
“Especially with you not knowing how to open a fine vintage.”
“Get over it. When it’s not busy I get one of the servers to help me.” He looks down, having seemingly forgotten about his paper toweled thumb. “Shit. Hang on, I gotta get a bandaid from the back--”
“I have some, if you want.” Rukia starts digging through her purse. “If there’s not some restaurant code for the kind of bandage you’re supposed to use, of course.”
“If it looks neater than a shoddy paper towel job, ‘should be fine. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Here.”
He stares at her outstretched hand. She stares back, getting more irritated as she waits.
“What?”
“... It’s a Chappy bandaid.”
“So?”
“So why are you a grown ass woman carrying around Chappy bandaids?”
“They’re for my patients, for kids.” She’s telling the truth, technically. To say she also quite enjoys Chappy as a character does not need to be mentioned. “Do you want it or not? Swallow your manly pride or go looking for an ugly beige bandage while your tickets pile up again. Tick tock.”
“Fine! All right, already.” He takes the bandaid and starts unpeeling the paper adhesive. “You a pediatrician or something?”
“Child psychologist.” Suddenly Rukia remembers Hina’s sweet face and feels terrible for not thinking about her once this entire dinner.
“Jesus.” Ichigo’s shaking his head, pressing Chappy to his cut.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s the guilt, maybe it’s the fact that it’s such a weird response to her revealing her profession, but Rukia can’t help it. She narrows her eyes and crosses her arms.
If he’s uncomfortable with her sudden hostility, he doesn’t show it. He shrugs. “It’s just… I can imagine it’s a hard job. Sometimes, anyway.”
Oh.
“Oh,” she exhales. “I’m sorry, I--yes. It can be, yes.I just… That sort of response I’ve only ever gotten from people that don’t believe in the importance of mental health. ‘Shrink talk’ and what have you.”
“Nah, I believe it.” He’s finished his job of covering his wound and moved on to his next drink order.
She’s abashedly stirring the ice in her glass when she barely hears him say: “I had to go to a children’s therapist once, as a kid. Helped me a lot.”
She raises her head to look at him. He hasn’t changed his facial expression, nor is there any change to his body language as he continues to do his job--but as a psychologist, Rukia can’t help but wonder whether she’s the first person he’s ever told this to.
“Me too. When I was a child, I… A therapist had helped me, too.” She raises her glass and clears her throat. “To recognizing childhood trauma, I suppose.”
He lets out a short laugh at the sudden dark joke, a sound so quick and so… So nice she can’t stop the fleeting thought that it’s a sound she’d like to hear more of. She shoves it away.
Bartenders are absolutely off limits.
He raises the glass that he’s mixing a cocktail in. “Yeah. Cheers.”
--
Later when she finally picks up the check, she pauses.
“Excuse me.” She waves Ichigo down, maybe just a tad tipsy. “You got the check wrong.”
He frowns, taking the bill from her and scanning it. “What are you…”
“You forgot to put a drink on there. My third one.”
It clicks and he rolls his eyes. “Oh my god.”
“What? I’m being honest.”
“It’s on me.” He slides the receipt back to her.
“But I didn’t dislike any of the dishes!”
“Take some advice, will you Doc? If the restaurant staff didn’t put something on your bill and you still got it, chances are: we wanted to give it to you.” They lock eyes for an intense moment before he clears his throat, looks down to wipe his (suspiciously clean) bar. “‘To childhood trauma,’ and all that. Now stop yapping so loud about it. You want everyone in the restaurant to hear about me giving out free stuff?”
She shuts her mouth at that, but one small detail about what he said is bothering her.
“It’s not ‘Doc,’ so you know. I have a name. It’s Rukia. Rukia Kuchiki.”
“Okay. Whatever, Rukia.” He turns around and waves his hand. “And I’m Ichigo. Just pay your damn bill and come back soon or whatever.”
And with that: she guesses she has a new spot.
#bleach#ichiruki#irmonth2021#ichigo kurosaki#rukia kuchiki#my stuff#may or may not be multi chapter if I'm being reeeal#but this was fun so maybe
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Ven’s Masterlist of SPN Fic
I write mostly pre-series and early seasons Big Feels™ Wincest fic. There’s a lot of angst and pining here, but plenty of love and devotion mixed in with the darkness.
I always deeply, deeply appreciate likes, kudos, comments, and reblogs!
Wincest Fic
Stand-Alone
Yesterday is a Ghost I Believe In ~4.1k, Teen, Pre-series, Epistolary, Multimedia, Experimental There's an old shoebox under Sam Winchester's bed. It's been there almost as long as he can remember. He doesn't look inside it very often, but when he does, he takes his time. A multimedia collection of letters, journal entries, pictures, and other ephemera from a life on the road. .
That Monster, Love ~2k, Teen, Pre-series, POV Outsider, POV John Winchester, John Finds Out, Angst “You think you’re doing your boys any favors, raisin’ ‘em like this?” .
To Cure My Lonesome Blood ~8.8k, Explicit, Pre-series, Pining Dean, Angst, Bittersweet Ending Dean’s been sick since before either of them was born. The disease is incurable, written into his blood – the same blood he shares with his brother. If he’s not careful, the fever will spread like a fire and consume them both. .
Like Sand, Like Water, Like Sunlight ~1.7k, Gen, Pre-series, Mutual Pining, Angst, Pre-Slash Sea birds circle overhead and Dean wishes he had a camera. Sam looks so young, all of twelve years old, and exhilarated. Dean wants to hold this image in the chambers of his heart, but his pulse just carries it along; time is cruel that way. .
The Space Between Sense and Memory ~4.8k, Teen, Pre-series through Season 1, 5-and-1 Things There are a hundred unwritten rules on all the acceptable ways brothers should touch each other. There are hardly any ways at all to break them. Or; five times they follow the rules and one time they don’t. .
Every Goodbye, all at Once ~900, Teen, Pre-series, Stanford Era, Pining Dean, Angst, Epistolary "Hey, It's Sam. If you're looking for my dad, you can reach him at 866-555-9352. If you're looking for me, leave a message." A series of voicemails Dean leaves at the number Sam left behind. .
Breathe You In (Choke You Down) ~6k, Explicit, Season 01, PWP, Scent Kink, Guilty Dean Winchester Once Sam was gone, Dean missed him in a way that was all-consuming, all the way down – so deep in his bones that he shook with loneliness some nights. And it was the familiar scent of his brother’s hair where it tangled warm against the pillows, his pulse beating under his skin and sending the fear of the hunt wafting off of him in waves that Dean struggled to hold onto the hardest. Dean really likes the way Sam smells.. .
Dawn is Coming (Open Your Eyes) ~5k, Explicit, Season 01, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together In which Sam and Dean suffer new wounds and stitch old ones back together. There’s an awful storm, a dead monster, an injury, and a whole lot of feelings. .
You put the Magic in Me ~9.1k, Explicit, Season 02(ish), Sex Pollen, Porn with Plot, Casefic “This is the weirdest thing we’ve ever done for a case,” Dean says under his breath, leaning into Sam and scouting the crowd gathered around a dozen tables inside the little café. “Dude, relax,” Sam says back, eyebrows raising at his brother’s nervous energy. “I thought this would be, like, your thing.” He gestures vaguely to the women milling around inside. A long, vividly red banner hangs across the open french doors that lead into the space, emblazoned with the words The Oolong Tea Room Presents: Lonely Hearts Club Speed Dating! Feb 11-14th! Or; in which Sam and Dean learn a thing or two about chemistry. .
The Stars are not Wanted Now ~2k, Teen, Season 02, Episode Tag: s02e21 All Hell Breaks Loose, Angst, Death Rituals There was a body on the bed. It had been there long enough that the slanting light of morning crept into the room like an unwelcome invader and washed the world in a dream-shade of palest blue. But there were no dreams here; only death, only memory. The body on the bed was all that remained of Samuel Winchester, who had died in his brother’s arms the night before. .
Demi-Gods and Hungry Ghosts ~5.8k, Explicit, Season 03, Episode Tag: s03e11 Mystery Spot, Dark, Dub-con, Hurt No Comfort This dream-state of living on pause and rewind leads to some interesting avenues of thought that Sam doesn’t mean to travel, but after a certain number of unrelenting Tuesdays, they just become inevitable. If Dean dies every day—if his memories are wiped, or if they never happen at all—what could Sam get away with, if he wanted to? Could he dare to find out? .
In Sanguine Vita Est ~5.2k, Explicit, Season 04, Knifeplay, Dean’s Hell Trauma, Hurt/Comfort Everything was different now. Dean was here—back from the fucking dead—but he was a stranger in his own body. Scars gone, aches from broken bones that hadn’t set right vanished back into the void as if they’d never existed at all. He’d become a stranger to the whole world. He’d become a stranger to Sam. _ Dean asks Sam to help him heal after he returns from Hell. .
All Heartless Spectres, Happiness ~5.7k, Explicit, Season 06, Episode Tag: s06e06 You Can’t Handle the Truth, POV Outsider, Angst, Soulless Sam Lisa Braeden receives an email with the subject line, "You Deserve to Know." It contains a single video file and nothing else. .
The Rungs of Me be Under You ~1.6k, Teen, Gencest, Post-Bunker, 2nd Person POV, Queerplatonic Sam and Dean, Non-Sexual Kink What they share has never been easy to define. Why should this be any different? .
Wincest Series The Top/Bottom Discourse Series (Ongoing) [Each story is canon compliant and listed chronologically, but they can all be read as standalone works.] This series was born originally from a silly meta post I made on Tumblr as a response to some very angry top/bottom discourse I was seeing about how only Sam could truly be A Top™, or how only Dean could truly be A Top™. I personally like to kink and let kink and not drag outdated gender politics into my fandom (Dean can't be a bottom because he's too masculine? Ice cold take, bro), so I wrote a filthy little tongue-in-cheek post about all the ways I think Sam and Dean have fucked each other over the years.
I’m Thinking About Whatever You’re Thinking About ~5.1k, Explicit, Pre-series, PWP, Bratty Sam, Exhibitionism, Fear of Discovery Sam is such a brat, sometimes. .
Shoot to Thrill ~6.7k, Explicit, Season 02, Porn with Plot, Hustling, Getting Back Together It's just like riding a bike. .
Burn Out The Night ~4.9k, Explicit, Season 08, Porn with Plot, Car Sex, Light BDSM, Fluff What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. .
Destiel Fic
Love Made a Martyr of Me ~500, Teen, Season 05, Endverse, Past Sam/Dean, Angst Sam says yes in Detroit, and in the space of a single syllable, there's nothing left in Heaven or on Earth for Dean to love. Cas doesn't seem to care. .
The Sharp Teeth of the One You Love ~2k, Teen, Season 05, Endverse, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pining “Quit bein’ a baby, Cas.” Dean’s hands were covered in blood, but they were steady as always while he worked to stitch Castiel back together. “I’m sorry,” Cas growled between gritted teeth. “I don’t exactly have a lot of experience feeling pain.” He hissed again when Dean slid the curved needle back through the eight-inch-long gash that ran deep and bloody down Cas’s bicep. Castiel learns something about what it means to be human. .
Wincestiel Fic
Temerate ~700, Teen, Season 05(ish), Past Sam/Dean, 2nd Person POV, First Time Your brother is sitting in the corner of the motel room. His big hands are worrying at each other; he squeezes them together, fingertips white from the pressure of his grip. He meets your eyes and his gaze is like a lightning strike. .
Dean/John Fic
Cruore ~1.1k, Mature, Pre-series, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Blood, Intrusive Thoughts Bites, Dean could deal with – claw marks and broken bones. But this- ... a bullet was a different kind of monster altogether. .
Supernatural RPF
Il Cielo in Una Stanza ~4.4k, Explicit, Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Getting Back Together, Prequel-Gate, Polyamory, Non-AU Jared Padalecki receives a present he wasn't expecting at all for his 39th birthday. .
Other Supernatural Fic
Bad Things, Better Reasons ~2k, Explicit, Pre-series, Dean Does Sex Work, Angst, Brotherly Love. Dean does whatever it takes to keep the bills paid while John is gone. The kid waiting for him back at the motel room is all the justification he’ll ever need. .
No Was Her Name ~1.3k, Teen, Season 12, Dean/Mary, Light Angst, First Kiss Mary Winchester was alive. She was solid—made of skin and blood and bone—and she existed in the same world as Dean. It wasn’t a dream; she walked and talked and breathed. She ate, she slept, she wandered the halls of the bunker at odd hours. She was a ghost made flesh, and Dean was haunted by her presence. .
#ven creates#wincest#wincestiel#destiel#J2#daddycest#spn fic#fic masterlist#my fic#long post#sorry#i just wanna be able to link to it in my bio
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The Winter Solstice
Fantasy Masks AU: Chapter Seven
A JSE Fanfic
Well after last week’s brief foray into writing for a different fandom, we return to the septics once again. The FM!septics to be exact. It’s the winter solstice, meaning there are holidays to celebrate! Chase, Jackie, and Henrik have a great day that totally doesn’t become suddenly serious near the end haha nope just fun times all around with some world building and character development :) Enjoy :)
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The day dawned cold and snowy, but nobody at Wyvernlair cared. Not when today was the winter solstice. This was a time for celebration! And with all the people in the camp, there was bound to be a big party. Preparations had been ongoing for the past few weeks. Food was made, games were planned, and time was set aside for those honoring the various holy days. When the day itself dawned, normal duties were put on hold so that everyone could join in.
Chase woke up at sunrise. He had a quick breakfast—light, since there would be a lot of food at the feast planned for that night—and strolled about, taking in the changes. Everyone was bustling about as usual, but now they chattered with excitement. Some people had hung decorations outside their tents: replicas of snowflakes made from white-painted sticks, candles with carved designs set on the ground, pine branches and snippets of other winter-blooming plants scattered about. Combined with the white layer of snow, it was quite beautiful.
Yet, Chase felt a pang somewhere deep in his chest. Last year, he’d spent Longest Night with his family and the rest of the village. There’d been town celebrations in the square. He helped Quentin carve his first candle. And now? Now, he didn’t know where his family was.
“Chase!”
He was snapped out of his melancholy thoughts when he heard someone call his name. In the middle of turning to see who it was, that ‘someone’ barrelled straight into him. “Oof!” He was about to respond, but found he couldn’t, because he’d been wrapped in a tight bear hug.
“Sorry, did I knock the wind out of you? Sorry!” Jackie was too full of energy to notice he apologized twice. He gave Chase one last squeeze before breaking off the hug.
“It’s okay, just give me more warning next time.” Chase took a minute to catch his breath. “Well. Happy Longest Night, then?”
“Happy Longest Night, then!” Jackie repeated. He whirled his cloak around dramatically. It was still red, but slightly nicer, with a fur lining. His wolf mask was pushed back, sitting on his forehead. “You know the plan, right? We’re having games all day. War games, dice games, card games—a few strategy games, too, the ones we have the boards for in storage. Then there’s the feast later, and the Dark Vigil tonight.”
“Yea, I understand,” Chase said, a faint smile on his face. He couldn’t help it; Jackie was contagious. “How many people will be at the Vigil?”
“A fair share. Schneep won’t; he does something at moonrise instead.” Jackie shrugged. “Are you planning to do any of the games? What about archery?!”
Chase laughed. “No, no, I’m not good enough to compete in a war game. I’ll probably just drift around and join in where I can. Do you think anyone will be playing Luck of the Deal? I’m very good at that.”
Jackie rolled his eyes. “Everyone’s good at Luck of the Deal. That’s the whole thing about it, it’s luck.”
“You don’t know that. There’s skill involved, too,” Chase insisted.
Jackie patted his shoulder. “Whatever you say, Hunter. It’ll be some time before everything really gets going. Anything you want to do before that?”
“Umm...” Chase thought about it. “Well, is there anything I can do to help with the feast preparations? That’s usually a community thing, isn’t it?”
“Well we already have a lot of volunteers for cooking. They’ve already gotten started, in fact.” Jackie thought about it. “But if you want to help, you could put your hunting skills to the test in the surrounding woods. Always good to have more food than less, on these occasions. People would eat their plates, if it was possible.”
Chase laughed. “Oh, I know that. Amabel would eat us out of home on Longest Night. She must’ve gotten her appetite from Stacia’s side of the family.” Saying their names, the melancholy threatened to return.
“Honestly? I have a confession.” Jackie leaned closer. “I’m one of those types, too.”
“Oh? Somehow, that makes sense.”
“And somehow I’m offended.” Jackie gave him a playful shove. “If you want to go ahead, you know where the shortbows and arrows are. Oh!” His eyes widened as he remembered something. “But try not to shoot any pigeons. Those are important.”
“Important?” Chase put the pieces together. “You mean...messenger birds?”
Jackie nodded. “I don’t expect anyone to send messages on the solstice except for an emergency, but there might be some arriving that were sent a fews days, or even a week, ago. It takes a while to fly across the island.”
“Got it. I won’t shoot any pigeons.” Chase shook his head, a bit in awe. “Messenger birds.” He’d heard of them, but never seen them in use. Somehow, they seemed almost as magical as actual magic. Getting letters sent across the kingdom in a matter of days? That was amazing. “I’ll just head out, then.”
“Good luck, Chase!” Jackie said cheerfully, waving as he turned to leave. “Be back before noon, that’s when the fun will start!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If possible, it was even colder out in the forest, away from the magic heat of the dragon bones. Chase clutched his jacket tighter and made sure his hat was securely on his head. He doubted that he’d find any animals out here. By Longest Night, most of them were hibernating. But it was worth a shot.
Snow crunched under his feet, so he slowed down, carefully placing every step so it wouldn’t make too much noise. There wasn’t a lot of foliage to hide behind in the winter, but he had made sure to grab a white jacket from storage to help him blend in. He’d also turned his hat inside out so that the red ribbon around it didn’t show. After a while, he found what he thought was a good spot to wait. So he settled down, nocking an arrow so it would be ready to fly at any moment.
The world became very still. The only sound he heard was his breath, accompanied by the small puffs of mist that breath caused in the cold. He made sure not to move a muscle.
Until there was a sudden sound. Footsteps, very light, being pursued by much heavier ones. His eyes darted towards the sound. The bare branches of a bush rustled, and suddenly a streak of brown fur dashed out in front of him followed by something much larger—
Chase reacted, letting go of the bow string and loosing the arrow. It shot through the air and landed solidly in the brown furry something. Shocked, he laughed in the rush of actually shooting something moving that fast. But then a voice cried, “I knew it!”
“Wh...?” And Chase finally noticed what the large something pursuing the small animal actually was. He looked up from his position near the ground to see...Lukas. It took him a moment to recognize him without his usual fox mask, but once the brown-auburn hair and tall longbow registered, his heart immediately sank with dread. “What are you doing—”
Lukas took an arrow out of the quiver on his back and nocked it, aiming at Chase. “Did you think you could take me out when nobody was looking?! Claim it was an accident?!”
“What in the world?!” Chase stood up. Slowly, of course, he didn’t want to get skewered by that massive arrow. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t try to play dumb, you just tried to kill me!”
“I was shooting the rabbit!” He pointed at the small animal, which was, in fact, a rabbit.
“A likely cover story.”
All of a sudden, Chase felt hot rage rise up his throat. “I know you hate me but you don’t have to be an idiot about it!” he burst out.
That seemed to take Lukas by surprise. He blinked, and lowered his bow slightly.
“I don’t know what kind of trust issues you have or where they come from, but I’m sick of you always acting this way! I’ve been here for almost a full season now, and you still act like I’m about to stab you in the back the first opportunity I get! I know, you’re probably thinking something like ‘he’s playing a long game to get everyone to trust him,’ but let’s be honest, you’re just looking for any justification to be like this. I wouldn’t trust someone like me in your position either, but I wouldn’t be so obvious about it. You don’t have to like me, you don’t have to trust me, but elders be damned, you don’t have to stir up this much trouble for Jackie and Henrik and everyone else here!” Chase ran out of breath and was forced to stop. He waited silently for Lukas’s reaction.
For a while, there wasn’t one. Lukas just...stared at him. Then he lowered his bow fully, putting the arrow back in its quiver. “What are you doing out here?” he asked in a carefully-neutral tone.
“We have some time before the real celebrations start, so I thought I’d help out by trying to find more food for the feast,” Chase explained. He walked past Lukas and picked up the rabbit, trying not to feel sad. Something about shooting rabbits made him feel guilty. Maybe he respected how hard they worked to stay alive, running so swiftly. Or maybe he thought they were cute. “What are you doing out here?”
“The same thing,” Lukas answered.
Chase snorted. “And you decided to bring that monster of a bow for hunting?”
“It’s more powerful than yours,” Lukas retorted.
“Yes, but it’s also heavier and more cumbersome. I remember my second day here, Holly said that big bows like that were more suited for long range, while shortbows—” Chase waved his bow as an example. “—are better for mobility. Look at all these trees. Do you think you’re able to shoot long range in a forest? Not to mention if you miss, you’ll end up burying your arrow in a tree with all the force you need to fire it. That’ll just be a pain to pull out.”
“I know all this,” Lukas said irritably. “But I’m most familiar with this style of bow. I can make it work.”
“Maybe if you weren’t stomping around the woods,” Chase muttered.
“Excuse me?”
“You were running after the rabbit. Bad idea; you’ll never catch up with them. It’s better to wait and let the animals come to you. If you have to move, be quieter about it. And slow. Conserve your energy; animals get tired faster than humans.” Chase glanced downwards. “You’re wearing heavy boots, I see. Those will make a lot of sound no matter how much you try to be quiet. And your clothes stand out, too. Especially that red band on your wrist. It’s bright and you have to hide it. Like I did.” He turns his cap right-side out again, letting the red ribbon show.
“Hmm.” Lukas eyed him. He did that quite a lot, but somehow, it felt different this time. More...respectful. “Well. I’ll keep that in mind.” He turned away.
“Um...right.” Now that Lukas was leaving, Chase felt the sudden energy that had filled him starting to fade away. “I’ll...see you at the celebrations, then.”
Lukas didn’t say anything, but he raised his hand in acknowledgement, not stopping as he headed back to camp.
Well...that wasn’t too bad, all things considered. Lukas clearly didn’t think worse of him. And he had managed to shoot a rabbit, something he’d rarely done in all his years as a hunter. Though he’d only done that because the rabbit was too busy running from Lukas to notice him crouching nearby. So really, he should thank him.
Maybe later. For now, Chase headed back to camp, ready to join in on the festivities.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time Chase returned to Wyvernlair, the festivities were starting to get underway. Games, mostly. People gathered in circles playing cards, or in threes playing dice, or in pairs playing board games. Others clustered around the players, watching the game and shouting encouragement. Some food was already prepared. Plates of sweet buns and meat pies were passed around. Chase grabbed a couple buns as he looked around.
But though the camp inside the circle of dragon bones was crowded, most people were out on the combat field. That was where the war games were set up. Chase decided to stop by for a moment. Even if he wasn’t going to participate, he wanted to see how things were going.
Targets were set up for archers to test their skill. People had grabbed close-quarters training weapons and were sparring, onlookers cheering on their favored winner. Someone had dragged over a rock and a large branch, setting up a makeshift see-saw that people were standing on top of, trying to knife-fight without losing their balance. Chase shook his head at that particular event. He himself had some scars on his hands from knife-fights as a young man; they really weren’t worth the bragging rights.
There was an especially large crowd gathered around one particular sparring match. Chase stopped, edging his way into the mass of people as he tried to see what was going on. Wait a minute...was that Jackie?
Indeed, Jackie was one of the sparring participants. And he was easily outclassing his opponent. He easily danced around jabs and swipes, not striking for a while, then jumped forward and hit his opponent on the side with his wooden practice sword. The crowd cheered, and the two participants backed away, shaking hands as they parted. Chase could’ve sworn he saw money change hands among the watchers.
“Anyone want to go for another round?” Jackie called to the crowd. “Doesn’t have to be to the first contact. What about to the ground?”
At that, a tall man grabbed a practice sword from a nearby rack, stepped forward, and announced, “I accept the challenge!” The crowd cheered again. “To the ground!”
Jackie grinned. “To the ground! Someone give us a count!”
In unison, the crowd started chanting, counting down from five as Jackie and his opponent started circling each other. Chase joined in. “Five!...Four!...Three!...Two!...One!...Clash!”
The two men immediately started going at each other with the practice swords, jabbing and backing up, swiping and dodging. The new opponent tried to make use of his height advantage, but Jackie was just too fast. The sparring lasted a few minutes and the crowd was enthralled for every second. Until Jackie managed to get behind his opponent and knock out his legs, making him fall to the ground. The crowd cheered. The opponent got up, looking no worse for wear and in good spirits. He shook hands with Jackie before leaving. Now Chase was sure he saw people exchanging money.
“He’s got skill, doesn’t he?”
Chase looked up, and saw Holly standing beside him. “Oh. Yea, he’s really good.”
Holly laughed. “That’s an understatement. You know he trained at Fíornear Field?” Chase nodded. “Well, so did I. But he could beat me in a fight nine times out of ten.”
“Really?” Chase asked, interested. “That many times? I thought it would’ve been closer between you two.”
“Everyone does. I say it’s the size difference. But what Jackie lacks in height, he makes up for in practice and sheer determination.” Holly watched as Jackie started sparring with another opponent. “Anyway, Chase. Come to watch or try your hand?”
Chase laughed. “No, no, just watching.”
“Well. In that case.” Holly leaned closer. “Care to try for chance?”
“You mean betting? Don’t tempt me.” Chase shook his head. “Besides, I can tell that betting against Jackie is a waste of time and money.”
“Doesn’t have to be at this spar. There’s many more war games to be had. I hear there’s axe throwing.”
“Axe throwing?” Chase perked up. “Alright, I have to see that. Lead the way.”
Holly laughed, and the two of them left, heading towards a set of targets. Indeed, some people had taken up throwing axes at these targets. Not competing against each other at the moment, only themselves, and also showing off for the passersby. Chase watched as one of the axe-throwers hit the center of her target. Then, surprisingly, he recognized the axe-thrower. “Nemet!” he called.
Nemet turned around, smiling at him. “Hello, Chase! How are you?”
“I’m doing fine. What are you...uh...I didn’t know you threw axes.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Is it so unexpected?”
Chase shrugged. “Well, you’re a doctor.”
“I am. I am a doctor who likes to throw axes.” Nemet picked up a throwing axe on the ground beside her. She held it back, paused to aim, and threw. It landed right next to the last one she threw. Holly and Chase clapped, impressed.
“Wanna shoot something, Brodyson?”
Chase yelped in surprise at the voice that came from behind him. He spun around to see Tripp grinning up at him. “You did that on purpose,” he accused.
“Maybe,” Tripp said. He was tossing a rock back and forth between his hands. Getting bored of that, he threw it to the side. Magically, the rock curved around, shooting for the target, where it bounced off the handle of one of Nemet’s axes. “Ah, almost a bull’s eye. Anyway, wanna shoot something, Brodyson? We could have a triple competition, axes versus arrows versus sorcery.”
“Hmm.” Chase considered it. “You know I had only planned to watch, but...that doesn’t sound too bad.”
“Don’t let him pressure you if you don’t want to, Chase,” Nemet said.
“No, do let him pressure you, I want to see this!” Holly insisted.
Chase laughed. “Alright, fine. Just a few rounds.”
Though as the afternoon passed, those few rounds stretched out into many. Chase had never been one for war games, but somehow, he didn’t mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eventually, of course, came the main draw of the winter celebrations: the feast. The people who’d volunteered to cook had been preparing food all day, and shortly before sunset, declared it ready. Instantly, a good half of everyone dropped what they were doing and headed over to the cooking fires.
Chase wasn’t sure what to expect from the feast. Wyvernlair didn’t use tables for food, so would everyone be standing around with plates? But it seemed as though they’d found tables, if just for today. Probably borrowed from storage. Some of the meat stayed on the skewer, roasting over the fires to keep it hot until someone wanted it. But most food was lined up on the tables, free to take. Sweet buns and meat pies, of course, but also preserved fruits that had been kept for a special occasion like this, and tarts covered in sugar, and pumpkin pie, and roasted potatoes, and more than could be counted.
Everyone ate until they couldn’t anymore, washing down the food with water, juice, and ale. Chase savored it, mingling and talking with the other Phantoms. And for once, he didn’t feel out of place here.
Time passed. The sun set. And as the feast died down, most people began talking about the Dark Vigil, the ceremony used to honor the Elder of Dark and thank them for protecting humankind from the shadows. Chase yawned. They’d be holding that in the center of camp, where a spot had been cleared specifically for that purpose. But it would be some time before everyone was ready. So, Chase decided to slip out. He headed towards the outside of the skeleton, away from the noise and bustle.
The stars were beautiful tonight. It was clear, without any clouds fogging the view, and the moon was nearly full. Chase leaned back against the bone and stared upward. He hadn’t really had the opportunity to appreciate the world lately. It was all busy, working with the Masked Phantoms. But it was nice to slow down for a moment.
Some minutes passed in silence. Then, he heard footsteps approaching. And then, a small thud, the sound of stumbling, and a muttered “Shiesse!”
Chase looked over towards the sounds, already grinning. “You doing alright there, Henrik?”
With a huff, Henrik emerged from the darkness. “I would be better if I know no one heard that,” he muttered.
Chase laughed. “Anyway, how’re you doing? I haven’t seen you all day.”
“Ah, I am fine.” Henrik leaned against the bone next to Chase. “I have been stuck in a dice game for most of the evening. I almost missed the moonrise.”
“I see. Jackie told me you had to do something around then. Is it like the Dark Vigil?” Chase asked.
“Similar, in ways. Different, in others.” Henrik looked up at the sky. He pointed upwards, at the moon. “She is beautiful tonight, yes? I never understood why your Elders never come from the sky.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Well, I understand there is the Winged Elder One, but they are for more weather, yes?” Henrik kept his eyes fixed skywards. “None of them are for the heavens.”
“Well why would they be?” Chase shrugged. “The sky’s beautiful and wonderful. But it’s so far away. We live on the earth. Shouldn’t we be more concerned with what’s down here?”
“Hmm. Perhaps.” Henrik sighed. He reached down his belt, removing his flask and taking a drink.
“Oh—” Chase started to say something, then stopped. It would probably be rude to ask, wouldn’t it?
Henrik looked over at him, and guessed what he was about to say. “Yes, I am still taking the medicine. It is...not something that goes away.”
“Sorry,” Chase mumbled. “I shouldn’t have—”
“Is okay,” Henrik said, giving him a small smile. “You are polite about it, so I do not mind.” He returned the flask to his belt. “Ah, though I am afraid I must change the subject now. I just remembered. We managed to get the materials for more plaster this week. So you can finally have a mask of your own!”
“I can?” Chase repeated.
“No need to sound so surprised,” Henrik chuckled.
“I did? I didn’t mean to. It just seems a bit...unreal.” Chase had left his borrowed mask, the hedgehog one, back in his tent. Most people had—or at least he assumed they had, since most of them were walking around without them.
“Yes, I understand.” Henrik nodded thoughtfully. “Do you want to wait?”
“Wait no, I didn’t say that—”
“I am just making sure.” Henrik playfully nudged his shoulder. “You will need to choose an animal, you know. Do you have anything in mind?”
“Oh right. I forgot about that part.” Chase thought about it for a moment. “What about...a deer?”
Henrik raised an eyebrow. “A deer?”
“Is that not allowed? I mean, Tripp’s mask has those ram horns so I figured antlers would—”
“No, is not that, I just suppose I did not expect that.”
Chase shrugged. “I like deer. They’re good animals. Um...do I have to make the mask myself, or...?”
“You can if you want, but if you’re not artistically inclined, someone else could do it easily enough. It’s not that difficult if you are...” Henrik trailed off. He was staring out into the trees, eyes fixed on a point. “Chase. Is something moving there?” And he pointed.
“Hm?” Chase peered into the darkness. Indeed, he could see the faint movement of shadows. “Oh, yea. It’s probably just an animal.” He paused. “That’s...getting closer?”
They looked at each other, but unsure what to do with this information, just turned back to watch the animal get closer. And closer. It was too small to be a threat, but Chase felt Henrik tense anyway. Eventually, the animal got close enough to make out what it was. “A...cat?” Chase asked, confused.
“A cat,” Henrik agreed.
“What’s a cat doing all the way out here?”
“I am not sure...” Henrik said slowly, brows lowered as he thought through the possibilities.
The cat continued its course, walking in a straight line up to the two of them. Chase crouched down and held out his hand. “Here, kitty.” Once it was close enough, the cat sniffed his hand. Then, satisfied, butted its head against it. Chase laughed. “Y’know I haven’t met that many cats. When I was young, maybe about twelve, Pastor Cait had a cat. We joked about that, since her name was so similar, ha. But it’s gone now. I don’t think the town had another cat since then. A couple dogs, but no cats.” He reached out and petted it. And after a few seconds of that, scooped up the cat and stood. “Does someone here have a cat?”
“No, there are no animals in camp,” Henrik said, still puzzled. “Does it have a collar?”
Chase checked. Difficult, given that the cat clearly didn’t like being held and was wriggling a bit. “Yea, right here.” He pointed to a braided leather collar around the cat’s neck. “No name, though. For the cat or its person.”
“Well. It is cold and snowy, and even with that fur, I don’t think the cat enjoys being out here,” Henrik stated. “Maybe we should take it into camp? We have that fire set up in the skull now, that could warm it up.”
“Good idea.”
The two of them headed back, passing between the dragon bones and into the main body of Wyvernlair. By now, the festivities were starting to die down. Games were ending, and a lot of people were getting ready to attend the Dark Vigil. Chase and Henrik walked quickly by, since the cat was really struggling against being held by this point. Luckily, it hadn’t used its claws yet, but Chase could already feel them digging into the fabric of his jacket.
They reached the skull soon, passing through the gap where it joined the rest of the bones and ending up inside. It was almost empty here. Except for two people and several birds. Chase blinked a bit at the surprising sight, but then remembered what Jackie had told him that morning. So these must be messenger birds, then. There were about seven of them, pigeons in a variety of colors; white, gray, brown, spotted. Actually, Jackie was here, too. Along with Ana, who Chase had figured out by now was the head of organization at Wyvernlair. They both seemed rather impatient, quickly putting away documents. Probably heading to the Vigil like most others.
Ana looked up, noticed Chase and Henrik, then turned to Jackie and said, “It’s your best friend and his best friend. They have a cat.”
“They have a what?” Jackie spun to look at them. “Oh elders, you have a cat. Where’d you get a cat?”
“It just wandered up,” Chase said. “We thought it might like to get out of the cold—ow!” The cat dug its claws into his skin, managing to pierce the jacket, and Chase instinctively opened his arms. Of course, the cat landed on its feet, and trotted over to the side of the fire, which was slowly dying but still giving off a lot of heat.
“I’ve never seen a cat like that before,” Jackie muttered. “That’s a really unique pattern, isn’t it?” The cat was mostly a brownish off-white, but its ears and tails were dark gray, almost black, and the tail had rings of lighter gray. Its legs were striped with light brown, and it had markings on its face of the same color. Big blue eyes stared up at the strange people.
“Oh!” Henrik’s eyes lit up. “I had not noticed outside! It was fairly dark. Oh, you are a pretty kitty, aren’t you?” He slowly approached the cat, and when it didn’t run away, bent over and started petting it.
Meanwhile, Ana was bored, and anxious to leave. She looked at Chase, and her eyes lit up with a strangely sly expression. “Hey, it’s Chase, isn’t it? Do you mind helping me open this?” She held out a small tube made of metal and leather. “I’ve been trying for a while, I think it’s stuck.”
“Um..sure,” Chase said warily. Was this going to be a joke of some kind? He took the small tube and turned it over in his hands. There was a door on the side of it, and after some effort, he figured out how to open it. Out fell three items. Two folded pieces of paper, made of pressed wood pulp and therefore pale brown, and a rolled-up piece of vellum tied with twine. “What’s this?”
“Messages,” Ana said, grinning. “Can you see names written on them?”
Chase looked down at the items, sorting through them. There was writing on the folded papers, but...well, it could just be his lack of reading skills, but it looked like absolute nonsense. “These are names?” he asked doubtfully.
Jackie and Henrik looked away from the cat, noticing the exchange between Chase and Ana. “What do you mean?” Jackie asked.
“These words written here, these are...names?” Chase shook his head. “I’ve just never heard names like this before. Um...here, I-I’ll try to read them. Uh...” He squinted at the writing in ink on the two papers. “This one is ‘Ee-uh-oo-koh’ and this one is...um...‘Ffssehffmuh.’ I think? The handwriting could be—”
Henrik’s eyes widened. Suddenly, he was right next to Chase, grabbing his arm and squeezing it tightly. “What is it?! The two papers?! Which one is—that one, can I see that one?”
“Whoa, hey, calm down!” Chase leaned back. “You mean this one?” He held out the paper with the ‘Fsefma’ name on it.
“Yes!” Henrik snatched it up, then retreated, unfolding it.
Jackie leaned over his shoulder, then grinned. “Oh, I see. Vsevna sent you a little letter, didn’t he? What’s it say? Is he confessing his love?”
“Shut up, Jackie,” Henrik said, holding the letter far away from him so he couldn’t read it. “Is just another report.”
Jackie laughed. “Yea, with your name on it. Come on, Henrik.”
“That does not mean anything.”
Chase, listening, raised an eyebrow. “So...I don’t know everything that’s going on, but I think I can figure out that this Fsefna person—”
“Vsevna,” Henrik corrected.
“...Vsefna—”
“Vsevna. It is important that you voice those sounds.”
“He’s the person you’re pining for, huh, Henrik?” Chase pressed on.
Henrik was slowly turning red. “I say nothing.”
“Right,” Chase said, grinning. “So, who is he?”
“He’s another one of the Phantoms,” Jackie said, sensing that Henrik wasn’t going to answer. “He and Yuko—that’s the other name on that second paper. Last we heard, they were in the Southern Moors with the rest of their crew. They said they’d scout it out for a bit more, then move on. These are probably their reports. Or...Yuko’s is a report, at least.”
“Shush,” Henrik muttered. He retreated a few steps away from the others, clutching the letter. As he passed Ana, he shot her a glare. “You make Chase open that on purpose.”
Ana just smiled. “Same results, right? Anyway, that’s the last capsule. Do you mind if I head out now?”
“No, go ahead, Ana. Send Harrison to take care of the birds,” Jackie said. She nodded, and left the skull. He then looked at Chase. “Uh...can I have the other two things?”
“Oh right.” Chase forgot he was still holding the other paper and the vellum scroll. He handed them over to Jackie, and the metal tube as well. “I’m surprised. That’s a lot for a bird to carry.”
“Well these guys are trained for it.” Jackie gestured at the pigeons, now strutting around the table. “Especially Mokin here, who had this stuff.” He patted the wings of a particular pigeon, mostly white but with brown wings, which had strangely curly feathers. “They all deserve the best seeds before we send them out again. Anyway.” Jackie unfolded the paper with Yuko’s name on it, scanning the words written there. At first, he looked excited to get a letter from this person. But the more he read, the more serious his expression became. “Henrik.”
Henrik looked away from his own letter, picking up on the tone in Jackie’s voice. “What is it?”
“I...read this while I open this scroll.” Jackie passed Henrik the letter, then began working on the twine knot holding the vellum shut.
Henrik read the letter quickly, and soon his expression matched Jackie’s. “Oh. Oh, Schwestern. Oh, no.”
Chase started to back up, feeling he shouldn’t listen to something like this. But Jackie noticed him leaving and said, “No, it’s fine, Chase. We should tell everyone this, anyway. Tomorrow, maybe.”
“What is it?” Chase asked anxiously.
“Well...you remember we told you about Marvin, right?” Jackie said slowly. “About how he went out on his own and we sometimes get reports of him?” He waited for Chase to nod before continuing. “This...was a report about him. Apparently, he was in the Moors. But...he didn’t just cause chaos and leave. He’s been...caught.”
“Caught?” Chase repeated numbly.
Jackie managed to untie the twine, and unrolled the vellum, scanning what was written there. He nodded grimly. “Yep. You know what this is?” He turned it around so Chase could see.
“That’s...a royal declaration, isn’t it?” Chase asked slowly. He recognized the format, and the royal seal in the corner. “Um...‘The King...announces a...mighty...triumph.’”
“You do not have to keep going, Chase,” Henrik said bitterly. “There are better words to read than that.” He took the declaration from Jackie, glancing at it for just a moment. “I see. Marvin is accused of attempting to kill the King and some other nobility. They caught him in the act, and now...they plan to execute him. Four weeks from now.”
Jackie looked over at the cat, now sitting and licking its paws, and gasped. “Henrik. You don’t think that’s his cat, do you?!”
“What? I suppose perhaps. But if it is, how did it get all the way up here?” Henrik sounded puzzled. “It takes a week or two to get to the Moors from here, and that is for humans on horseback. For a cat...”
“Wizardry?” Jackie guessed. “I don’t know, it was just a thought, since he likes cats so much.”
Everyone fell silent. Henrik looked back at the royal declaration, reading it slowly, taking in the information. “So...how are we going to do this?”
“Do what?” Jackie asked.
Henrik stared at him in surprise. “Well, we have to rescue him, of course.” Jackie didn’t say anything. “Do not tell me that you’re going to let your grudge stand in the way!”
“No, it’s not that!” Jackie protested. “It’s just—you read the letter, right? Yuko said that these declarations were sent everywhere. Since when has the King announced his next move like this? Everything he does, he does in secret. I mean, damn, the Phantoms are just rumors, and we’ve been taking serious action for years now. He’s hushed up so much, why wouldn’t he just make Marvin...you know, disappear? Why a public execution?”
“You think it is a trap,” Henrik stated.
“Well...yes,” Jackie admitted.
“That is fair, but if it’s a trap, who is he planning to catch? If he wants information about us, he could get it from Marvin.”
“But Marvin hasn’t been part of the group for a year now! His information would be out of date.”
“This does not change the fact that there is no guarantee it’s a trap in the first place. Perhaps he wants to strike fear into the population. Given his actions, it seems likely.”
“If it does turn out to be a trap, though, we can’t afford to lose anyone!”
Chase coughed awkwardly. Jackie and Henrik jumped, then turned to him, looking embarrassed to be fighting while he was still there. “You know...I don’t know if I have any place in this. I mean, you two are in charge, after all. But...I think you should try to get him back.”
Henrik and Jackie looked at each other, then back to Chase. “Are you trying to say something?” Jackie asked.
“I just...” Chase paused for a moment, searching for the words. “I don’t think...you should leave someone behind. He was still part of the Phantoms, right? Didn’t he help create it? A-and weren’t you three...Well. You don’t have to talk to him after we rescue him, but it just doesn’t seem right to leave someone behind in this situation. I know you had your fight and all, but maybe...this could be...you know.” He paused. “Also, I want to know if this cat is his or if some random cat just wandered by.”
Jackie laughed. “Yea, that would be good to know, wouldn’t it?” He sighed, and his expression fell, becoming serious as he was lost in thought.
Henrik leaned closer to him and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Jackie. Chase is right, this does not mean he is rejoining the group. You do not even have to go. But...we should do it. Marvin does not deserve this.”
After a moment, Jackie nodded. “You’re both right. Of course. Even though he was an ass last time we talked, that doesn’t mean I want Marvin dead.” He took a deep breath. “But we should prepare for the possibility of a trap. Just in case.”
“Of course we will,” Henrik assured him.
“...Hey. Chase.” Jackie gave him a smile. “Thank you. I-I don’t know what it is about you, but you know what to say. It’s really easy to talk to you about stuff like this.”
“It’s not a problem,” Chase said, returning the smile. “But, um...I think the Vigil is happening soon, so if we want to go—”
“Shit, I almost forgot about that!” Jackie gasped. “Henrik, I don’t want to leave the cat alone, can you look after it or something?”
“Don’t worry, I will take it to my tent,” Henrik said. “You two go and...is it alright to wish you fun? In a ceremony like this?”
“Come on, Schneep, you’ve lived here for over a decade, don’t talk like it’s so strange to you,” Jackie chuckled.
“I think it’s fun,” Chase said.
“Well, you two go have fun, then,” Henrik said. “I will see you later. Tomorrow, if not tonight.”
“Thanks, Schneep.” Jackie gave him a quick one-armed hug, then headed towards the skull entrance. “Let’s go, Chase. We don’t want to be late.”
They almost were. The Dark Vigil was about to start when they arrived, shuffling into the crowd. Everyone stood in a circle around a set of candles, one blue and the rest black, which were in turn set in a circle around several smooth, round pieces of black onyx. Three people stood inside, lighting the candles.
After the candles were alight, everyone sat on the ground, clashing a bit as they all tried to make room. Then once everyone was sitting with their legs crossed, the three in the center started the Vigil. They spoke the traditional lines, describing the Elder of Dark—their vague appearance, their actions, their history with the other Elders—and finished it by thanking them for their guardianship. Everyone joined in on the final part: “As you stand and watch vigil, so shall we this night.” And then silence fell.
During the silence of the Dark Vigil, each individual offered their thoughts about those who needed protection. In the past, Chase had asked for his family to be alright. For them all to stay healthy and happy. Today, he asked for that again. He wished, silently, desperately, for them to be safe. And not just them, but everyone else who had disappeared from his town, as well as all the other mountain towns that had been destroyed. He thought about Henrik and Jackie and all the other Phantoms he’d met here, and wished for them to have luck in this fight against the King. He thought about Marvin, someone who he’d never met but who was dear to his friends, and wished for them to be able to rescue him.
As Chase stared at the candle flames, he thought he saw...something. He wasn’t sure what. A shape in the smoke. The shape of a four-legged animal, with...antlers. A deer.
Then as was the tradition, the candles were extinguished, and the night was left in darkness.
#jacksepticeye#jacksepticeye fanfiction#jacksepticegos#jacksepticeye au#septic egos#septic egos au#chase brody#jackieboy man#dr schneeplestein#brigid writes fanfiction#fantasymasksau
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Heeey. I'd love the prompt “I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.” with Hank Voight and daughter, and they're both cops working in the intelligence unit?
So sorry this is so late! I hope this is what you were looking for when you sent me the request 🙈🥰
Fandom: Chicago PD
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Voight!Reader
Requested: yes
Request: «Heeey. I'd love the prompt “I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.” with Hank Voight and daughter, and they're both cops working in the intelligence unit?» -anon and «Can you do an imagine where reader is the daughter of hank Voight and she's pregnant with Jay's kid and Jay's panicking coz he doesnt think he will be a good dad but Hank is like "you already got my approval son" and they have a father/son moment?» -anon
A/N: I’m putting these together cause I feel they would fit well -Karen
If there was one thing you knew, it was that your father was protective. He had been that way all your life. Especially after your mom and your older brother, Justin, were killed. You only had each other, and well, Olive and Daniel, Justin’s wife and son. Yet he didn’t stop you from joining the police force, in fact, he was the one that brought you to intelligence. That way he could look after you.
That’s how you met Jay, and you fell hard for the former army ranger. Your father wasn’t too happy at the idea of you and Jay getting together. But he knew that once you had set your mind to something, there wasn’t much he could say or do to deter you from it. That didn’t mean your father would be easy on Jay though.
…
You didn’t know how you and Jay could be so reckless. Always so careful with protection, and the fact that you were on the pill, it took you by complete shock when you found yourself pregnant. Telling Jay was one thing, but telling your father, now that was something completely different. You were my no means scared of your father, if anything you were more scared for your boyfriend. It was just that, you didn’t want to disappoint your father.
Jay was beyond happy when you told him, crying into your shoulder before dropping to his knees and pressing kisses to your still flat stomach. However, it kept him on his toes whenever he was around your father.
You had been feeling unwell for a couple of days and therefore decided to stay home, for some reason that had your father accuse Jay of breaking your heart. Your poor boyfriend almost spilt the beans about your pregnancy.
When you found out about your father’s outburst you were less than pleased. And he could tell. Whenever you needed to release some anger you went to the firing range. It was a good way to keep up with your aim not that you would be allowed out in the field when you came out about your pregnancy, Jay was already telling you to stay back if it got too intense, scared something would happen to you and the baby.
Putting down your weapon on the table in front of you you let out a breath, pressing the button to get your target paper over to you. «Wow, you still got it kiddo», your father said, approaching you. «Yeah, wanna see for yourself?» you asked, not looking at him, checking your weapon. «You want to talk about it?» he was cautious now.
Moving the target back, you cocked your gun, «Not really, I want to shoot.» You shrugged, pulling the trigger.
You almost missed him gulp when you finished, emptying your gun and putting it down. «I’m bulletproof … but please, don’t shoot me sweetie», he commented. «Tell me what’s wrong. Why are you ignoring my calls?» he added, crossing his arms over his chest. «Why do you think? You’re scaring Jay. Threatening him. I know you worry about me, but Jesus Christ dad! You don’t have to be so overly protective. I can take care of myself», you groaned, hands thrown up in the air to show how annoyed you were. «That’s it? You’re mad cause I’m throwing your boyfriend around a little bit?» he chuckled. «Don’t make me punch you.» that made him drop his tone.
«I worry about you sweetie, when you didn’t show up to work for a week. And the sour mood you had when you returned. I though he had broken your heart», he confessed. «I didn’t show up to work because I got sick. My mood was sour simply because when I got back to work I still wasn’t feeling good.» he tried to say something, but you stopped him, «I’m pregnant, that’s why I’ve been feeling sick», you said. «Does Jay know?» you nodded at this. «I told him as soon as I found out. He told me we had to tell you soon, but I wanted to wait cause I didn’t know how to tell you without you freaking out and doing something stupid, but then you went and did something stupid after all», you said, your dad looking at you with a mock hurt expression on his face.
«I’m happy for you both sweetheart, I really am», he confessed, pulling you in for a hug. «Thank you dad, can you please go easy on Jay from now on? He’s not leaving anytime soon.» at this your father nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead. «Cross my heart.»
…
You were about to round the corner up in the bullpen when you overheard them. «I didn’t have a good role model on the father front. What if I’m just as bad as he was? The kid will resent me, worst of (Y/N) will hate me if something happens», he murmured. «You’ll do great Jay, I have faith in you, both of you. Besides, my daughter speaks highly of you, she’s not done that, ever. So there’s a lot you’ll have to do to get on her bad side, trust me. You’ve already got my approval son», you father said. Listening to the two talking about the future made your heart swell.
As long as you’d known Jay, you hadn’t heard about, or much less seen, these moments between Jay and your dad. You knew Jay looked up to your father, and you’d once or twice heard your dad talk about how one day Jay would take over the unit.
You felt guilty listening in on their conversation, but you genuinely needed to go through the bullpen to get to the stairs leading down to the front desk. Fishing your phone out of your pocket you walked out in the open, pretending like you hadn’t just heard everything. «Hey, heading home?» Jay asked, approaching you, «Yeah, just need to hand this file to Trudy and I’m out. Bye dad», you responded, smiling at your father. «Let me walk you down», Jay offered.
«Go home, both of you», your father said, hugging you before shaking Jay’s hand. «Let’s go», you murmured, taking Jay’s hand in yours. «Bye dad, love you!» you called, «love you too sweetie.»
taglist: @thatesqcrush
#jay halstead#jay halstead imagine#jay halstead one shot#jay halstead x reader#jay halstead x voight!reader#hank voight#hank voight x daughter!reader#one chicago x reader#one chicago imagine#one chicago one shot#one chicago#chicago pd#chicago pd imagine#chicago pd one shot#chicago pd x reader
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How has poi changed your life? Genuinely curious, I love this show
I got this ask in May '20 and am only now answering it. :')
part of the problem with answering it is that half of the answer would be to the question of 'how has fandom changed your life' where poi is the fandom I've been the most active in and where fandom made the most difference. and that's a long story
my first draft of this was over 2k words long, and went back much further in time explaining how i had and hadn’t fit into queer spaces and fandom throughout my life. I edited it way back but it’s still long-ish, so you can read it below the break
many years ago, when I got my first full time job in my chosen industry my senior year of college I was so busy that I couldn't function. massive unhealthy amounts of overtime and a toxic work environment. (don't work at tech start-ups, kids!!!) my social life vanished. strikethrough on livejournal happened right then too and fandom, which i’d only been a silent participant in at that point, kind of went quiet for a while and by the time it started regrouping I was so busy that I didn't know about it. several awful years later I quit my job, spent several months in my room in my parents' house trying to recover from massive burn out (see my comment about tech start-ups), and then got a job on the opposite coast and left behind my whole circle of friends some of whom made up my entire connection to the queer community at that time.
making friends after college is very hard when you're an introvert and just generally don't like socializing that much. making queer friends can be even harder since there's fewer places to meet them and there's often an underlying question of dating/sex that hovers around awkwardly when sometimes what you want is just an absolutely no romo/no sex friendship. so while I did make a few queer friends eventually, I didn't have that same sort of community I did before I'd moved and I missed it
(I would be remiss in not saying that the queer friends i made in this time are all amazing and wonderful and some are still my close friends and very important to me. The thing I’m highlighting here was the lack of feeling like I was part of a larger queer community).
fast forward a bit. I get sick. like really really sick. I'm in and out of the ER, I'm missing tons of work, I'm mostly bed-ridden. I think after the last few years people can more easily appreciate how intensely lonely and surreal being stuck at home by yourself non stop can be when you're not used to it. sometime right before that I'd joined tumblr for the sole purpose of looking at cat pictures on my phone during boring meetings. I wasn't really aware that this was where fandom had migrated to (it was in fact possible to use tumblr without intersecting with fandom). but stuck home alone with time to kill I started looking for art and gifs of the tv and games I was consuming and stumbled into fandom tumblr and specifically queer femslash fandom.
I kind of poked around the territory and eventually fell into the carmilla fandom which became the first fandom I actually created content for. a few of my fics had a decent audience and while I was never part of the central core of the fandom I made some good friends there. some of y'all probably followed me back then. I eventually drifted away from carmilla for a lot of reasons I won't get into and stumbled right into poi. this would have been between seasons 4 and 5, late 2015-early 2016.
my health problems get more exciting and I end up in the hospital. I have vague memories of watching poi on my laptop in my hospital bed (vague because I was on a lot of morphine). I actually posted some fic while I was in the hospital (would have been the end of my carmilla run still).
and I get out of the hospital (early 2016) and am somewhat better but it's pretty clear that I'm going to have chronic health issues probably for the rest of my life. my social life, such as it was, was mostly dead, a lot of stuff I used to do for fun was much harder to manage. I'm still spending a ton of time at home (not even counting covid) and I have bad days where I feel terrible and can't do much. but I'll come back to that
I think most of us remember 2016. the year tv show runners fully embraced the bury your gays trope (and sometimes the fridging trope at the same time as a bonus!) and, by autostraddle's tally, 30 queer female characters in tv shows died. and then on top of that we had the actual real world tragedy of the pulse nightclub shootings. it was a massively depressing time all around for queer people
s5 of poi aired that year. I know people have different opinions on s5 of poi, and that's valid. I hated it. and I really intensely hated how it treated root and shaw. there aren't enough words to express how fucking angry I was after s5. or rather, there are 319,678 words.
I wrote a fic many of you may have read called sliding towards chaos that rewrote the entirety of poi from mid-s3 onwards. it got pretty popular lol. I put so much into writing it, too. it was basically a second full time job for me and a great way to take my mind off the fact I was still having health problems and all the crazy shit going on in the world (we had a presidential election in the US in 2016 :)))) it did not go well!)
i'm very proud of writing stc, and even if I think it isn't my strongest writing (which is good! improving over time is good!), it was what really connected me to a lot of other people in the fandom. I felt part of the fandom community in a way I hadn't with carmilla and it was an intensely queer community built around shared interests
one of the problems with finding queer friend groups out in the 'real world' is you're often gathering to meet based on the uniting factor of being queer, and your interests may vary greatly. fandom is amazing because it lets you find queer people who you share all these interests with and who you can bond with over them and collaborate with and that's just so so important. does fandom have a ton of issues and toxicity and bigotry? yes, absolutely. but it also has so much good to offer
through stc and later fics I became close friends with some really really cool people in the fandom (including my favorite writer and my favorite artist). these are people I'm still very close friends with. some of them I've hung out with offline and the ones I haven't are mostly because they live too far away. after years of not having my own queer circle of friends I have found one again and one I can usually participate in even with my health problems and that is such an important thing to me
on a creative front, the fic writing and the gif making I've done have both taught me an enormous amount and been a very positive part of my life. working collaboratively on comics has been one of the coolest things I've done. there is just so much good that came out of me seeing one shoot gif on tumblr dot com years ago and being like hmm looks gay I'm in
and in terms of the actual content of the show, I think a lot of the reason I was drawn to it (other than my lingering crush on fred from angel) was that root and shaw felt so uniquely and wonderfully queer in a way few f/f ships I'd seen had before. shaw being bi and reading as aro to me (I've talked about that here) and root being a chaotic computer nerd just felt so relatable to me and their relationship with each other made sense to me in a way that few others had. and the specific draw that they had for some fans probably has a lot to do with why I found friends in this fandom who I really clicked with
so yeah. I don't know how to sum this up. fandom can be a great way to find your people and engage your creativity and I think that's very sexy
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A Sick Wild Child - Chapter 10
Chapter 10 - Cold
Aaaand we're back! Sorry for the long wait, college is wack.
Uhh big angst warning for this chapter. I can't really tell if this is angstier than the rest of the chapters? But the warning is there.
As I said earlier, I am going to be rewriting this fic as I add to it. Nothing major will change, but I kinda cringe a little when I read back on it because I feel like my style has developed more as I've written.
Ao3 Link:
I hope y'all enjoy!
The rustling of the leaves above were the loudest sound Warriors heard outside camp. Between the soft snores of his companions, the distant flowing stream, and the cackling of the fire, perhaps he should have let himself relax, if only a little. Being as rigid as a board would do no one any good if monsters came, yet Warriors could not force himself to relax. Strained eyes jumped between the other Links, the world outside their overhang, and the only other two not resting.
Whatever allowed Wild to be semi-coherent hours ago had faded as night went on, stuttering chest still rising and falling roughly.
Twilight hadn’t left Wild’s side, still holding tightly to the boy’s clammy hand. Warriors let out a sigh, trying to force some tension from his shoulders as he stood, slowly making his way over.
“You need to get some sleep.” Warriors settled next to him, still keeping a sharp ear out for potential monsters. He had made the mistake of letting down his guard, and he wouldn’t do it again.
“I’ll sleep after your watch.” Twilight was lying, and they both knew it.
“You make fun of Time for taking on too much, but you’re the same damn way.” Warriors huffed.
“Pot, meet kettle.” Twilight snarked and Warriors rolled his eyes at yet another dumb country metaphor. “Besides, be careful what you say, Old Man is probably listening.”
“It’d be hard not to with how loud you two are.” A voice said from Time’s bedroll.
“Sorry, Time.” Warriors and Twilight spoke in unison, chuckling lightly when they heard a tired sigh and grumbling.
“Any signs of Wild waking up again?” Warriors nodded towards Wild’s restless form, keeping his voice far lower.
“Nah. I wouldn’t be so worried if he was getting some actual sleep.” As if sensing his name Wild shifted once again, letting out unidentifiable croaks and murmurs. Twilight stroked his thumb across the back of Wild’s pale hand in an attempt to soothe him once more.
“Yeah…” Warriors spoke awkwardly. “The worst will be over soon, then he’ll be able to start healing. Hylia knows Legend and Hyrule are going to shove a rainbow of potions down his gullet when he can handle it.” Warriors joked, feeling success at the small chuckle he received from the other young man.
“I know he’ll be okay, but…” Twilight trailed off, looking down once more at his protege
“Yeah, it’s hard to see him like this.” Warriors nodded.
“Well yeah but I’m worried for what comes after.” Twilight’s eyes still hadn’t met his.
“What do you mean?”
“When he comes to, how much of these nightmares is he going to remember? Some are fake, but his brain is already… addled.” Twilight said for lack of a better word.
“You’re worried about the memories.” Warriors understood now.
“Yeah. He doesn’t remember anything besides a few memories, I’m worried the real ones will mix with the fake ones and just confuse him more.” Warriors hadn’t even thought of that.
“He’ll be okay once he’s aware enough to talk them through, that’s always seemed to help him in the past.” Warriors reassured, clamping a head on his companion’s shoulder. “I know there’s a lot in the air right now, but we need to focus on the now. We’ll deal with the future when we get there.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks War.” Twilight smiled at his companion, finallying meeting his eyes. Both settled in against the wall, taking comfort in the other’s presence.
~
Cold, scared, confused. Fear struck his heart when he felt the familiar emotions, among others he couldn’t name. His lungs spasmed, and he felt himself cough roughly. Drowning… was he drowning? He didn’t feel wet, water meant drowning… right? Something warm and gentle slid across his hand and he shivered. What was touching him? Was it bad?
No… cold was bad, warm was good, or so he thinks. Yes that seems right. And what was touching him was warm so he could trust it. Yeah, that logic made sense.
Something was wrong though, he shouldn’t be feeling this way. This wasn’t normal. He tried to open his eyes. Wait, when did those get there? He had a body, and bodies had names. Did he have a name? Whatever was blocking his eyes refused to budge, or perhaps it wasn’t even trying. He felt his ears flicker when a noise drew close to him, and the warmth caressing his hand paused. No, don’t stop! He cried out, or he thought he did.
The warmth moved from his hand, allowing the cold to flood back, and he tried to cry out, he wanted to be warm he didn’t want to be cold. He relaxed once more when the warmth moved under his eye, under his eye… his cheek. The hand pushed into the skin of his cheek softly, and he tried to focus on what he heard above him, but he couldn’t push down his panic. What was his name? Everyone had a name, what was his name?
The warmth, which he now recognized as a hand, pushed his cheek with more intent, the noises growing louder. But he couldn’t focus on that, he could only focus on the empty space where his name, his very identity should be. What was his name? Everything would be okay if he could just remember his damn name-
“Wild?” A voice echoed above him, snapping him back from his spiral. Wild… that didn’t sound quite right, but it certainly didn’t sound wrong, and he clinged to it. Wild, Wild, Wild. That was him!
“Wild?” Another voice asked, and Wild was sure it was a different one. The hand patted his cheek, and Wild felt his nose scrunch. He didn’t like that.
“Wild? Are you awake? Can you open your eyes?” Wild’s ears perked at the tone, an odd mix of hope and concern. Now out of his spiral, Wild tried once more to open his eyes. Shutting them tightly once more when light assaulted his vision. He felt his head being turned, vertigo crashing into him, only relaxing when his nose brushed against something slightly course but soft.
“Try again.” The voice coaxed. Wild was skeptical, but did as he was told. With great strength, Wild peeled open his eyes. Even after his eyelids revealed the world around him he couldn’t see right away, it took a while for his vision to clear, yet the voice never grew impatient. He felt heat to his back, and it felt like a fire. Maybe that’s what was so bright. After the fuzziness finally faded, Wild could see he was facing a chest, but it looked odd. There was something missing around the shoulders...
“There he is.” The other voice proclaimed quietly.
“How are you feeling, Cub?” Wild felt the chest he was facing vibrate as the person spoke. Cub… cub.
“Tw’ligh?” Wild slurred, wincing at the dryness of his throat.
“Yeah, Cub.” Wild looked up at the face above him, who looked positively elated for some reason. Wild finally realized why the man looked so off, the usual pelt wrapped around his shoulders was gone. Wild glanced around, eyes slow and fluttering. After looking down he finally realized it was covering him instead.
Wild tried to blink away the fog. That wasn’t right, this was Twilight’s pelt. Oh no, did Wild steal it? That wasn’t very nice…
“Wild?” The other voice washed over him once more, and Wild realized it had probably been a while since he had responded.
“War?” Wild recognized the bright blue scarf, and the eyes that matched. The fog was slowly receding from his mind, but annoyingly stuck around the edges.
“That’s me.” Warriors confirmed with a fond smirk. “How are ya feeling?”
Wild didn’t know how to answer that. Everything hurt, his muscles felt heavy and useless, his head pounded, his throat was on fire… worst of all…
“Cold.” Wild rasped, trying to bury his face into the chest beside him, enjoying the rumble he felt and the sound of a fond chuckle.
“Sorry, Wild. Your fever hasn’t broken yet, we can’t let you get too hot.” Twilight really did sound sorry, but that doesn’t sound right. Fever means hot.
“Cold.” Wild stressed again, his small movement sending a spike of pain around his ribs. “Hurts.” Wild whimpered at the aches and pain that surrounded his body, especially his ribs.
“I know, Cub. It’ll get better soon.” Twilight promised.
“How?” How did he know that? Wild didn’t understand. Goddesses, it felt like he was dying-
Wild froze at that thought. No, no Twilight would tell him. Twilight wouldn’t be so happy, he wouldn’t. The conversation continued as Wild’s world was crashing down on him.
“Your fever hasn’t broken, but it is getting cooler.” An optimistic voice continued, not noticing his panic. Why were they so calm? Wild was dying, he was dying! He felt his breaths get more labored, only sending further panic shooting through him. No, he needed to breathe, breathing meant life and Wild was alive he wasn’t dead he was alive-
“-we’ll fix it, Wild, I promise.” Wild tuned in once more and his heart lurched. Fix it? No, no , no, nononono.
“N-no!” Wild cried out, trying to sit up.
“Woah!” Warriors bolted forward to keep Wild from agitating his illness further. They just got water in his system, they didn't want him to throw it back up now.
“Tw-i. Don’t. P-please don’t.” Wild pleaded.
“Don’t what? Cub we’re not going to do anything.” Twilight’s voice tried to be calm, but the underlying panic only sent Wild further into his spiral. Twilight knew and he was hiding it! The shrine… not the shrine.
“Na- the shrine. P-please. Anythin’ but the shrine. Just let me go.” Wild begged, coughing roughly at the end. Twilight felt his chest grow cold and his stomach drop. ‘Let me go’, ‘No more shrine’, Twilight felt lightheaded. He knew what it meant. Let me die.
“No, no Cub, you’re not hurt. Not badly, you’ll recover.” Twilight tried to reassure but Wild was too far gone.
“Hey, hey.” Wild felt a different pair of hands on his cheeks, calloused from constant swordsmanship, but impossibly gentle. “Calm down.” Warriors soothed, brushing aside Wild’s bangs. No! He didn’t understand. He couldn’t do it, not again. He couldn’t wake up with nothing but a name he didn’t recognize, cold, hungry, scared, alone.
“No shrine, nothing like that. We’re staying right here.” Warriors comforted. Wild shook his head, ignoring the nausea it brought. They didn’t understand, he would forget again. He would forget again. Zelda, the Champions, Riju, Teba, Yunobo, Sidon, the Links. All of them.
“Wild.” Twilight’s voice was soft, but stern, demanding Wild’s attention. “Wild look at me.” A hand took his chin, and he was met with dark blue eyes swirling with intense emotions, half of which Wild couldn’t name. “We’re staying right here. We’re nowhere near the shrine. You’re just sick, you’ll get better, on your own.” Twilight specified, rambling in the hopes that Wild would finally understand. Twilight felt his chest loosen when Wild calmed down slightly.
Twilight wouldn’t lie about that, Wild could trust him.
“No shrine?” Wild confirmed.
“No shrine.” Twilight put on his most reassuring smile, covering his turmoil at Wild’s earlier words.
“Never. Promise.” Wild demanded in the most stern tone he could muster, and judging by Twilight’s shaky smirk he didn’t do a very good job.
“I promise, Cub.”
“Yeah, Hylia knows we wouldn’t even know how to work it- ouch! What it’s true.” Wild tried to laugh at the indignant noise, but all that came out was a coughing fit. He still didn’t understand what was going on, but there was no rush or panic or shouting. It wasn’t like the first time. There were no lasers, or carnage, or desperate screaming.
“Okay, that’s enough.” Twilight deemed after Wild’s fit had passed. “You need more rest.” Wild shook his head. He wanted to stay here, away from the things he sees when he closes his eyes. It was nice here, the fog was finally parting and if he went to sleep it would surround him again.
“Yes, Wild.” Wild heard Warriors laugh at Twi’s exasperated tone.
“No.” Wild commanded, well aware of how much he sounded like a petulant child.
“Wild, we’ll be right here. You need sleep. Real sleep.” Wild shook his head again.
“I’d be careful. Mama bear is ready to knock you out.” Warriors teased, yelping when Twilight used his free arm to smack his shoulder.
“Wild, I swear to Hylia, you are going to sleep.” Twilight threatened. Wild huffed. Fine. Wild lifted a shaky and weak hand from under the pelt, pausing to rest the limb above the covers. Slowly he lifted his left hand, barely reaching his target. He swatted uselessly at Twilight’s chest, trying to find a grip. Finally he managed to snag onto the older’s tunic, just above his heart.
“What are you doing?” Twilight chuckled, all ire forgotten at the Cub’s clumsy actions. This would be the hard part. Wild prepped himself, before putting all his strength into his left arm and pulling himself up as far as possible. Even the simple motion of pulling himself up was like climbing a mountain, all his stamina depleted by the time he put his plan into action as his ribs jolted and burned. His world twisted and swirled as dizziness washed over him, his head feeling light and his eyes watering.
“Wild!” Twilight yelped in surprise, hopefully not waking the camp. Automatically his arms flew around Wild to catch the boy now cradled to his chest. “What the hell are you doing?” Twilight asked again, far more bafflement and scolding in his tone. Wild stubbornly shoved his head into the crook of Twilight’s neck, breathing hard. Nausea surrounded him and his aching muscles cramped and twitched. Twilight winced as Wild coughed directly into his throat. Good things this wasn’t contagious.
“You can’t do that! You can’t push your body like that!” Twilight scolded, his words contradicted his actions as he rubbed soothing circles into Wild’s back.
“I mean, you could have asked.” Warriors agreed, smirking at the scene before him now that Wild seemed to be recovering from his little stunt.
“Stay.” Wild demanded, gripping Twilight’s shirt as the other was cradled to his own chest uselessly. His body had no more energy left to spare and he relied completely on Twilight to keep him from falling.
“I’m right here.” Twilight’s exasperated tone morphed more into confusion. Twilight wasn’t getting it. He was warm. Wild was so cold, and he wanted to be warm. Even if that meant soaking up heat from Twilight like a lizard did on a sunny rock.
“Warm.” Wild’s lips twisted into a crooked smile, not aware enough to try and make both the scarred and unscarred sides of his face match. Warriors didn’t even hide his fond grin at the cheesy sight before him, and Twilight’s shocked face was certainly a bonus.
“Wild your fever.” Twilight chided nervously, attempting to gently get Wild away from his body heat. Even being in his lap was pushing it, Hyrule told him to be careful before he went to bed.
“Warm.” Wild huffed, annoyed at Twilight moving too much. Twilight glared at the muffled laugh he heard from Warriors. ‘Help me!’ Twilight mouthed, glaring at him as the other just shrugged and smirked. Jackass. Twilight supposed it would be okay for a little bit, but… just until Wild fell asleep. Besides, Twilight couldn’t bring himself to push Wild off with the dopey and lopsided the grin the younger had. Instead Twilight tucked the covers and pelt around him, knowing he made the right choice when Wild sighed happily and burrowed further. It was the most content he had seen Wild in days, and if Hyrule found out Twilight had disobeyed his instructions and kicked his ass, it’d be worth it.
“We can watch his fever. Let him have this.” Warriors confirmed the voice in his head, and Twilight relaxed at the fact someone else agreed, allowing himself to lean against the wall to better support Wild’s weight.
“Yeah, I don’t wanna move him.” Wild made a noise that Twilight could only interpret as agreement, and tried not to laugh and disturb the boy curled into him.
“He can understand what we’re saying… that has to be progress, right?” Warriors questioned.
“Yeah, but at this point his fever breaking is the best we can hope for.” Twilight responded as he felt Wild succumb to sleep once more. Twilight didn’t want to admit how worried he was that his fever would never break. He knew that Wild would get better, really he did. But Hylia what Wild had said… what would Twilight do if he had the option. If Wild was dying in his arms and he had a choice. If he had a choice between Wild living with no memories, waking up with them all gone, probably long dead, alone and scared. Or letting Wild, his cub, die. Both options almost sent Twilight over the edge of despair just picturing it.
“Stop.” Warriors scolded, eyes peering into him. Twilight snapped out of his thoughts and glanced back in surprise. “I know what you’re dwelling on. Stop it. It won’t help anything.” Warriors’ tone was harsh, but his eyes were compassionate.
“I know but-”
“No buts. It won’t come to that.”
“You don’t know that.” Twilight’s voice cracked ever so slightly. Warriors sighed, of course he didn’t. Of course Twilight wasn’t the only one who thought at night about where this quest could lead.
“None of us do. But focusing on what-ifs, especially insanely specific ones, doesn’t help it just makes us all suffer. All of us, Twilight.” Warriors stressed, relieved at Twilight’s eyes widening, knowing he had gotten through. The words were harsh, but Twilight never listened when it was just his health on the line. He needed to know that watching him go through that hurt, just as it hurt them when one of the other Links were in a pit of anger and hurt.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Twilight squeezed Wild, needing to feel his heartbeat against his own. He focused on the breaths he felt against his neck. They were shallow and rough but they were there.
“Don’t be, I get it.” Warriors assured. “But let's face it if we think about everything that could happen on this crazy fucking quest we’ll be here for weeks.”
“Yeah…” Twilight shifted, ensuring Wild didn’t have too much pressure on his ribs.
“I’ll watch his fever, you need to rest.” Warriors commanded softly.
“You know that’s not happening.” Twilight glared.
“I didn’t ask you to sleep, I asked you to rest. You need it.” Warriors raised a challenging eyebrow, turning concerned when Twilight just nodded.
“Yeah… okay. Just make sure he doesn’t get too hot.” Twilight leaned his head against the rock, shushing Wild when he mumbled and huffed as his pillow moved. Warriors reached over and placed his hand on the cub’s forehead.
“It’s fine for now.” Warriors smiled, happy the raging fever had dulled, even a little.
Both Warriors and Twilight quieted, and Twilight allowed himself to simply breathe as Warriors kept a sharp eye on the world around them.
~~~
Wild is on a mission and no one shall stop him.
Thank you all for reading! I'll update the summary when I rewrite a chapter so you all know.
And thank you all again so much for the support. I love every comment, and I’m so glad so many people enjoy this story!
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#A Sick Wild Child#wild-centric#wild#twilight#Warriors#Time and Hyrule are only mentioned#same with the other links#sorry lads#sickfic#angst#queenof-literature story#QoL Story
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