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whoonearthisike · 1 year

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august 9th

So, I am hitting a new rock bottom and I have no one to talk to, so I just want to put this out there. I've seen sometimes it helps. Here it goes: Last month I made it to 28 years old (yay!) and age has been really triggering for me.

I live in a shared flat with rotating roommates, 80% of the time they are awful: they don't respect other people's sleep, they don't clean… I am saving money to buy a house, but it seems impossible. The town where I live is a big city and the prices are just awful, I don't want to move out because (1) my job is here and (2) I'm from another small town and this is the only place in the mainland that I know, so I don't feel safe getting out.

I'm gay, and I have never been in a relationship. I've had a couple of sexual experiences but were fast and weird and I feel shame more that anything (cruising and things like that since is the only thing I could get myself into).

Alongside point 2, I have been bullied and harassed for as long as I can remember. I never had a safe space until I moved out oh my hometown. Never had a core group of friends that actually treated me well, I am kind of the clown of the group, so If im not making people laugh they lose interest in me. As a result of this, I do not know how to make friends, and cannot trust anyone who actually seems nice to me, I keep thinking that either they secretly hate me (which has been the case in the past, i.e friends who were being racist/homophobic on my back) or they feel sorry for me and just hang out with me out of pity (also happened)

I'm fat (chubby?) I've had body image issues and eating disorders since I was around 11. I don't think I'm ugly, I'm kind of cute, however definitely not the right body. A couple of years back I was able to lose some decent weight (During COVID) because the world basically stopped, my job became a more steady and not very stressful, so I was able to control my life more. Now, my job is extremely stressful, my housing situation is getting worse (new roommates, 0 respect) and the stress is too much. I just cannot get into the whole dieting + exercise thing. I have tried, but when I work out I get too overwhelmed and just start to have panic attack that ends up with me crying and smashing things.

My grandma past away 18 months ago. It hit my mom too hard, and she is really struggling to get back on her feet. My dad is not in the picture. Now my grandad is sick and needs constant care. My uncles are… well. They are not doing as much as they should. So it's my mom the one who split herself between her full time job and caring for him. I am temporarily back in my hometown to spend some time with her, but being back here has really crushed me.

I came out to my mom months ago, and she took it really well. I don't want to come out to the rest of my family because I think it will create a breach between them and my mom. Also, I am not sure if I am ready for my relationship with them to change. I definitely know I will eventually go no contact with them, however is just … I don't have anyone else, and severing that will ACTUALLY mean I will be 100% alone in the world. I'm not even sure they like me. They love me out of family obligation.

Usually I can try to evade myself and get distracted by reading, watching TV, or music, but nothing works any more. With reading, I got lately into romance novels, but I do not relate at all to straight stories, and gay romance novels just remind me of all the things I did not have (when is about young people) or all the thing I won't have. Horror used to be one of my favourite genres, but I just get nothing out of it any more. It has been a while since I read a decent thriller. Same thing with TV: I have been watching heartstopper, and it just makes me so sad. I am 28, and I am seeing these 15-year-old boys being loved, and cared for, getting into relationships and having someone they belong to, and I get so sad and so angry about not having that, and being too old to experience it. Gay people my age are almost exclusively into hookup culture. I can't stand music any more: All songs talk about love, sex, and just like everything else a constant reminder of all the things i am missing. So now I just spend my days scrolling through tiktok, avoiding overcomplicated tasks at work (I work from home), feeling bad every time I eat and hate myself afterwards, and just waiting for one day to be over and do the same thing again. I'm on antidepressant, but they are clearly not doing much. Health system in my country (South Europe) has been getting so bad I cannot even make an appointment with my doctor. I have been dealing with suicidal thoughts, and the very worst part of it is that I know I am not going to do it. It's almost 1am, and I just needed to vent. I don't have any close friends I can tell all of this. In a couple of days, I'm getting out of my hometown, and will try and see what small steps I can take to regain some control on my life. But I do feel like is way too late. Im 28, and most 18 years old have more friends, are hotter, live more, have been in more relationships, than me. I just feel so left behind and is impossible for me to catch up.

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shop-korea · 1 year

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MY - REGISTERED - USA - BIRTHDAY - LIKE - 'CINDERELLA' -

ENGLISH - ACTRESS - 05 APRIL - ANTHONY - KOREAN - OF -

ASIAN-MART - HIS - BRO - DECIDES - WHO - WORKS THERE -

ANTHONY - VERY - TALL - 6'3 FT - NOW - MORNINGS - FAT -

UGLY - SPANISH - SPEAKING - LONG - HAIR - REALLY - FAT -

HEADS - NIGHT - UNTIL - 9P EDT - NOW - DIDN'T - BUY -

ANYTHING - FR - HER - LOST - MY - APETITE - WHEN U -

NEED - POOP - 4 - YOUR - FAMILY - DOCTOR - 2 - PUT -

IN - PAPER - USING - THEIR - USA - CHOPSTICK - JUST -

A - LITTLE - FR - JUST - HEAD - 2 - LITTLE - HAVANA's -

ASIAN-MART - THE - ( - ) - MAKES - THEM - KOREANS -

LIKE - NAIL - SALONS - OLDER - BRO - OWNS - THIS -

STORE - UNEVEN - FLOORS - QUITE - TECHNICALLY -

ILLEGAL - MORE - EXPENSIVE - THAN - PUBLIX - ITS -

SAD - NEXT - DAY - POOP - COMES - IN - MORNING -

PRODUCT - OF - USA

ASSI - BEEF - DUMPLINGS

ESTIMATING - 7 MIN - MAYBE 6.5 MIN - MICROWAVE -

THAT's - BAR - $0.50 - U - GET - FREE - CHOPSTICKS -

DIDN'T - WANT - 2 - GIVE - $0.75 - NON-MICROWAVE -

ABLE - MEDIUM - TUB - BECAUSE - PHILIPPINES -

USES - THEIR - HANDS - USE - IT - GET - FOOD FR -

BAG - OPEN - BAG - IN - MICROWAVE - TOLD HIM -

THOUGHT - IT - WAS - ANTHONY - BUT - SHORTER -

HAIR - WHO - HAS - PERM - ON - HEAD - BUT - AS -

PARTIALLY - BLIND - HE - BECAME - SHORTER -

THEN - I - TOLD - DUDE - THAT - I - DON'T NEED -

TUB - 4 - MICROWAVE - I - PUT - WHAT - I - YES -

HEATED - THEN - TRANSFER - THERE - THEN - I -

PUT - SOY - SAUCE - AND - MARUKAN - ORGANIC -

APPLE - CIDER - VINEGAR - $7.99 - REFRIGERATE -

NOT - NEEDED - (BROUGHT - GARLIC SALT 0 CAL) -

NEVER - GOING - BACK - THERE - ANYMORE FOR -

I'M - NOT - RENEWING - PLANET - FITNESS SINCE -

I - STARTED - LAST - YEAR - ON - MAY - 2022 - YES -

GOING - BACK - 2 - WHERE - I - WAS - SLEEPING -

SW 7 AVE - AND - SW 8 ST - 2 MALE - CATS - AS 1 -

RETURNED - TWICE - SAW - 12:04A - 12:40A EDT -

2A - YELLOWISH - CAT - 2:23A - SAW - BOTH AND -

MAYBE - SOMEONE - ADOPTED - LITTLE - MALE -

KITTEN - WHO - I - MET - FIRST - SLEPT - IN - YES -

FRONT - TOP - OF - MY - CALVIN KLEIN - DUFFLE -

BAG - WITH - WHEELS - BUT - AFTER - NEEDED 2 -

POOP - OR - NO 1 - SLEPT - ON - GRASS - NEAR -

ME - WOKE UP - AFTER - HEARING MY WHEELS -

5:35A - HAVEN'T - SEEN - SINCE - SAW - 2 DAYS -

NOT - CONSECUTIVE - MISS - LITTLE - CUTIE -

MEOW - MIX - SMALL - CONTAINERS - SAUCE -

GRAVY - SEAFOOD - SELECTION - THEIR YES -

BEST - DON'T FEED - CATS - HENS - EVER -

CHICKEN - THEY'LL - GRAB - HENS - TRUE -

ON THE - NECK - 2 - HAVE CHICKEN SUSHI -

EVEN - RACHEL RAY - HAS - CHICKEN -

BAD - BAD - BAD

YES - ON - BEEF - FROM - CATTLE

THEY - WOULDN'T - DARE - EAT XO

EVEN - 1 CATTLE - ALIVE & - MEAN

TRIP.com - SHERATON WAIKIKI - OUTSTANDING

SHOPS - BELOW - AND - NEAR - HONOLULU's

WAIKIKI - SHOPPING - PLAZA - TANAKA - OF

TOKYO - THEIR - BEST - 3 CHOICES - SO - I'M

GOING - SHERATON - NO - FREE BREAKFAST

SINCE - WALT DISNEY WORLD - NEW ILLEGAL

POLICY - EVERY - 24 HRS - INSPECTING YOUR

ROOM - WHILE - SLEEPING - SHOWERING - AS

THEY - BANG - ON - YOUR - DOOR - KEEP THE

BATHROOMS - OPEN - AS - U - SHOWER - FOR

BIBLE - 'WEALTH - DESTROYS - A - FOOL' - SO -

DISNEY - CRUISES - INSTEAD - CRUISES - AND -

OAHU - HAWAII - HOTELS - OTHER - US STATES -

HONOLULU - 4.5 % - TAXES - LARGEST - NO OF -

RESIDENTS - OF - HAWAII - AVOID - THE - BIG -

ISLAND - OF - HAWAII - THEY'RE - DEPRESSED -

NOT - QUALIFIED - 4 - TOURISM - AND - DO XO -

GO - 4 - TAHITIAN - DANCE - FR - TAHITI - THE -

HAWAIIAN - DANCE - WHEN - U - WANT - 2 YES -

SLEEP - CHEAP - LUAU's - ALL - U - CAN - EAT -

AND - TAHITIAN - THEY - ASK - U 2 - NET YES -

LOTS - OF - SMALL - BEAUTIFUL - FISHES - 2 -

MURDER - THEM - WHEN - BUFFET - ALREADY -

HAS - MEATS - BEEF - SUSHI - FISH AND MORE -

BAD - LUAU's - YOU - ARE - ASKED - 2 - MURDER -

SMALL - BEAUTIFUL - FISHES - OR - TOLD - DO -

NOT - EAT - JUST - LEAVE - AND - GET - A - YES -

LYFT - NOT - UBER - OR - WALK - 2 - HOTEL - AT -

CONCIERGE - ASK - 4 - MONEY - BACK - WELL -

MY - AGE 59 - BIRTHDAY - CELEBRATING - YES -

IN - HAWAII - OAHU - INSTEAD - LEARNING - TO -

SCUBA - DIVE - AGAIN - AND - BASIC - SURFING

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tempestsreach-blog · 3 years

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Fuck Diet Culture

This is going to be long. It’s going to be rambly. It’s going to be sad. It’s going to be angry. There’s going to be language some people don’t like. I can’t NOT talk about it though.

Fuck diet culture. Let me say that again. Fuck. Diet. Culture. It has taken such a huge chunk out of my life. I have lost pieces of myself I’m not sure I’ll ever get back. The only way to heal is to go through. I can’t go back. I have to move forward. But I can’t do it quietly. I can’t hide. I can’t live in the same shame I’ve spent the last 40 years in. Literally. 40 years of my life wasted to this. I can’t bear to live the back half of my life in the same way. What the hell is the point? I’m not going to write this in any particular order because all of the thoughts and feelings swimming around are snapshots of things in my life that diet culture has broken in me or stolen from me. A lot of you aren’t going to agree with me. That’s okay. Truly. This is about ME. This is to help ME heal. You can talk to me about your struggles, your diets, your ups and downs, your successes and whatnot. I am here for you in all of it. But I won’t diet with you anymore. Never again.

Currently I am having severe knee pain. One knee is worse than the other, but both are bad. I should go to the doctor. I should have gone to the doctor years ago for it. Want to know why I didn’t? My weight. I have injuries from overuse and over exercise and I am terrified that I am going to go to the doctor and the first words they’re going to say are “Well, if you lost 20, 30, 40, 50 pounds, it probably wouldn’t hurt so much.” instead of listening to me, examining me, scanning my knees and HELPING me. I don’t feel this way irrationally. This shit happens. I am in pain. I don’t know how to get help without being told to go on another diet that will not work.

Because diets don’t work. Not long term. I am excellent at losing weight! I’ve done it over and over and over. Then I stop restricting, counting, starving, and pushing myself. Then my body says “What the fuck were you doing?” and puts it back. I lost the ability years ago to know whether I’m actually hungry or not. I eat too fast when I do eat because if I snarf it down super fast I can get it in before my brain says “You’ve had too much. Did you count those calories? How many miles on a treadmill will you do to make up for that? Did you actually earn this meal?”

Every time. Every meal. Every morsel.

I have never been officially diagnosed with an eating disorder. Only been told by therapists and psychiatrists that I definitely engage in disordered eating.

No shit.

Every diet under the sun. Cabbage soup. Phen Fen. Weight watchers (MULTIPLE TIMES), TOPS, Noom, My Fitness Pal calorie counting, intermittent fasting, and every whacky bullshit thing in between promising results. I’ve purchased fancy scales. I’ve even tried one that wouldn’t show you your weight, but the color of your progress in the app. Here’s a hint… if you gain, your color is black like death. I’ve failed a million times and I’ve blamed myself. I am the failure. So I hate my body a little more every day and I stress about how I’m going to NOT pass my disordered eating and my food issues onto my kids. My stress levels are through the roof and 98% of it is diet culture related. What the fuck is that about? Every time I start a program I hit it hard. Last time I tried anything involving tracking or counting I was so starving by the time I got home from work that I almost ripped a child’s head off (not literally OBVIOUSLY) but I screamed at her at the top of my lungs because she hurt my feelings. It wasn’t until after finally allowing myself to eat another morsel of food that I realized I was hangry.

Why is living in a larger body not acceptable? We all talk about diversity and equality as though we believe it with our whole hearts, but that doesn’t cross over to fat. Or skinny if we’re really being honest. How many times have you heard or seen online “Oh my god, she’s so skinny. Feed her a damn cheeseburger! She looks anorexic.” I know I have. I know I’ve said those words. I will punch myself in the gut if I ever say them again.

Every body is different. We are supposed to be. Let’s not BLAME genetics like it’s a bad thing. Let’s realize that it’s what nature has intended. My father is over 6 feet tall and a large man. He’s just a big man. He went on Nutri System when I was young, lost a ton of weight, and put a bunch back on over the years because he is a big man. My mother was not tall, but was always large. I hated her body because HER PARENTS told her all the time she was fat and unworthy and cautioned me not to grow up to be like her in any way. Even when she was poor and homeless she was still large. That was the way her body was. I wonder how different her life might have been if the size of her body hadn’t been a factor in the way she was raised or treated. How might that have made my life different?

I know a lot of you are probably rolling your eyes at me right now about being vocal about another health plan or saying to yourself “just because you have trouble with diets doesn’t mean they don’t work” I know there are people close to me thinking “She just always gets excited when she discovers a new diet, that’s probably what this is.” NO.

This is me finally realizing that I can heal and healing doesn’t mean I need to weigh 157 pounds. (That’s the weight limit for women my height to enter the air force when I did in 1992) This is me finally realizing that I’ve been lying about the weight on my drivers license for 30 years because gods forbid anyone saw my real weight on that document. This is me realizing that I’ve spent my life trying to live up to other people’s ideals of what I should look like because I assumed they wouldn’t like me otherwise. This is me realizing how much unintentional harm I could have been doing when sharing another diet, another idea, another bout of “well this is working really well for me!” with people I care about. This is me realizing how much damage I’ve been doing to myself living with this level of shame for 40 years. Hiding what I’m doing. Suffering in silence. Hiding food. Restricting. Binging. Over exercising to compensate. Spending money on one last diet. Spending emotional energy on one last hope. We were in Las Vegas for what was supposed to be a fun vacation last week and I was so hot and miserable and so steeped in hating my body because my painful knees were betraying me that my internal monologue was a never ending loop of “I’ll hit weight watchers REALLY HARD when we get home and get rid of this weight, then I’ll figure out my knees and work on maintenance” Let me say that again, clearly. I struggled to enjoy my vacation because I was obsessing about restricting food AFTER my vacation. One last time. One last meal.

BULLSHIT.

We walked by shops with weird and pretty fashion dresses. (I freely admit I don’t understand fashion) the husband and I would both point out ones we thought were pretty. My brain would get stuck on “Yeah, but they don’t make them in my size” or “Yeah, that would NOT look good on me. It looks fine on that size 0 mannequin” Pretty on other people. Other people are pretty. Not me. Diet culture is pervasive and all consuming. In big ways and little ways. I’m 5 ft 9. I’m not a tiny person at any weight. I’ve always been told I’m too big. Even when I sit, I slouch a little and/or tuck my legs and feet up under me to try to make myself appear smaller and less invasive. This is subconscious. I don’t always realize I’m doing it until my knees remind me. Most of my life has been things that get in the way of my diets. “I should start the diet today, but it’ll have to wait until next week because so and so’s birthday is this week and I want to be able to enjoy that.” or “It’s late fall, I should just start now but first there’s my birthday, and then Thanksgiving, and December happens and there’s all kinds of treats then. Better wait until January, but not the first because that’s new year’s...maybe the following Monday.” or the ever popular “I already had a bad eating day today, I’m a failure. Why bother? Fuck it. I’ll try again tomorrow.” That one was always followed by binging because of the last supper mentality. If I’m starting a diet tomorrow I better eat EVERYTHING NOW. This is how I’ve lived my whole life. The time not spent dieting was just the time in between diets where I was planning my next diet. So much life wasted. The only time I was not actively dieting or planning the next diet or suffering from “I’m just too exhausting to put effort into food right now” was during my 4 pregnancies. I let myself eat whatever and whenever because I was nauseous all the time anyway and something in my brain made me fuel my body for the babies. When the youngest was born and the on call doctor who delivered her told me I was too fat to have my tubes tied I definitely started planning diets again in that moment. I believe now, years later, that my diet and diet culture ruined mind and body is part of what kept me from being as successful at nursing the kids as I wished I had been. I assumed my body was broken and not good enough for my babies.�� The last time I lost a LOT of weight it was because I didn’t want to ruin someone’s wedding pictures. True story. This was nothing that person felt or anything they told me. IT’s what my brain said to me. It’s how I de-valued myself. There are very few current pictures of me now because I’ve been stuck in a place where I feel shame when I see them. When I’m dead, memories and pictures are all my kids and grandkids will have, and I hate myself too much to let anyone take them. That’s not okay.

I dream about food. I daydream about food. Food I “shouldn’t” eat. Food I “should” eat. When to eat. When not to eat. Every spare ounce of energy is spent thinking about food or hating myself which leads to more thinking about food. I am not in a place where I can prepare dinner for my family right now because it’s too hard to put that much energy into food. I force myself to pick the recipes from the app and get the shopping done via instacart so all anyone else has to do is pull up the recipe and make the food. If I’m looking at the ingredients or trying to prep anything I stare at every individual thing debating whether or not I “should” eat it. This is going to take me a long time to break free from. Today I finally feel like I CAN break free. There is nothing wrong with being in a large body or a small body. Food is not good or bad. Food is food. I have to say these things. I have to repeat them to myself or I fall down the rabbit hole again. None of this is work anyone can do for me. I have to live it. I have to work through it. I have to figure it out. If you read this far, my statement stands. If you’re on a diet, I will listen to your woes and hold your hand and I will not judge you for it. This was very hard to write because I am certain some of you who believe in diets, ways of life, and wellness eating may block me now because I spoke my mind. I’ve clung so tight to the people I love and refrained from being honest and speaking my mind for fear of abandonment. I’ll have to live with it if that’s the case here, because people sometimes need to do what’s best for them. Airing this out is one of those things for me. It’s a scary thing for sure. I also want to say that I’m happy for this to lead to discussion. I’m not going to shut anyone down for wanting to talk to me about this. I am always open to learn new information and see different perspectives. Just know that if I’m emotional and feeling a lot of strong things about how my life has been up to this point, and I am entitled to believe what I believe just as you all are. I’m happy to share sources and books I’ve been reading on the subject. They are not diet books.

Here’s to doing better from here on out.

Here’s to finally being free.

#intuitive eating #anti diet #mental health #fuck diet culture

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i8jisoo · 4 years

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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

bangchan x reader | first part of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & a tinge of angst

↬ warnings; pregnancy, birth, talk of vomiting, and lots of cursin

↬ notes; fuck i love bangchan sm and im excited dis the first part of daddy!skz o whateva

from the moment he knew, he honestly was scared at first and just wanted to pretend like he wasn’t going to be a father

he needed time to evaluate it all, he was honestly confused and scared, he was nervous and doubtful of his parenting skills and providing eighteen years + many years after for his child

u were nervousssss as helllllllllllllll to tell him what was up

“well, i’m- y’know- baby?” you tried to get out, ur words were hella scrambled and he was confused before he came to the realization of what you meant

silence which is vv concerning

u knew this was a shot in the dark sorta, u two weren’t even public on the relationship let alone public about a pregnancy?

u guys ended up taking a break for about a month, really not knowing what to say to each-other

u two were afraid, which was normal, u just rly didn’t expect it from chan of all people to walk away from u

anybody else u could expect,, but this?? this was unlike him & u were more scared by that

he wound up at your place, box in hands

(u were kinda at ur breaking point bc u thought he was returning ur things)

(newsflash it was his stuff)

“i’m sorry, i just— being a father? being a parent, i don’t.. i don’t know anything about it, but nobody does when they become one. so, i’m gonna figure it out with you.”

going through the first sonograms w him & crying a lot while u two talked about the future

ur hormones r going to be the death of chan

u are 0-100 holy mooolyy

hes very careful with his choice of words and how he delivers them, not wanting to upset you

chans first present for the baby is a kangaroo, with a matching little joey 🥺

he also is surprisingly a very big fan of kanga from winnie the pooh, which he buys winnie the pooh stuff for the baby JSJSJSJSJJS just bc kanga & roo remind him of u n the baby 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (i rly need to stop)

u were a lil big, having a cute big bump to pair with ur pregnancy, the inevitable announcement was needed to happen if u were ever going to step outside again

chan rly didnt want to announce it bc he didnt know what peoples reactions would be :(

he knew he was only twenty-seven so some people might think it was a bit too early to have kids, but he thought it was perfect the way it was

u guys hid it until u couldn’t, sparking little rumors of ur pregnancy but u both decided not to confirm them

chan obsessing and literally worshipping you in your third trimester

u in his shirts? he was fuckin over

kisses and cuddling all the time, no matter how tired u were or he was, u two would either fall asleep while doing so or lay there for awhile before u were like

“ok i gotta pee, help me up!!”

no but frfr this baby was torturing u the last stretch of ur pregnancy

it seemed that anything u ate either made u throw up or gave u heartburn

ur stretchmarks were getting worse & it seemed like u were getting bigger everyday

u were very insecure the last months, just cause a lot of comments were talking about a bit of weight gain in ur face, which fuck,, u would never be hurt by some comments but with ur hormones and KNOWING u have put on weight, u rly didn’t feel the same

ofc chan knows whats up and hes there to tell u some r e a l s h i t

“okay, yes. you have put on weight, but you’re pregnant. that’s the good thing about it, you’re healthy okay? whether you had a small bump and no extra weight put on or a big bump and extra weight put on, you are carrying a baby. you can lose the weight when it’s over, right? you don’t need to feel this way, okay? i’m the only one who you should listen to about your appearance, i’m here to tell you the truth. you are beautiful. you are the morher of my child, that’s what you are. you’re not ugly, or fat, you’re not anything bullshit that people say to you.”

when u started crying, chan panicked

“nononononoono, don’t cry baby!”

his arms were wrapped around you so tightly, feeling your face pressed against his shoulder and your arms around his neck

“i love you.” u would be rly quiet and his heart would break at the sound but ur i love you, he just— it was so real and he’d never felt like this before

“love u too.” he’d say that shit so proudly and kiss the TOP OF UR HEAD SO SOFTLY 🥺🥺🥺

when u finally went into labor, u were like wow this hurts a F U CK TOO NNN

u woke up to the bedsheets soaked underneath u, pins n needles were all u could feel

u kinda sat there for ten minutes, scaring urself n making urself nervous when u started doubting yourself and feeling the pain become stronger

ur hands were s hh aa kkyy

u would tap chan so softly and feel a little frustrated he didnt wake up but like how tf was he supposed to feel that 😳

u kinda started crying now because u were STRESSED and him not waking up (no shit ur little tap wasnt gonna work but) it felt like he was gonna sleep forever

so ur hands pressed on chan’s shoulders, shaking them a little bit and letting out a,

“chris?” which ur voice was quiet as hell, shaky as hell, and wavering as you whispered to him

him opening his eyes to see your teary ones n hes just so sad that his heart drops 🥺

he never wakes up quicker though and hes sitting up fast as fuck

“what? what’s wrong?”

ur literally sobbing and hes freaked out by this because u have never cried like this

he kinda just wants to go back to bed since ur just crying but he knows smth is probably wrong because ur SOBBING so

“my water broke.”

now its his turn to be nervous cause fuck he is feeling so unprepared

he said fuck shoes on u, slipping u into his own clothes and helping u into the car so u two could go

did i forget to mention the hospital was an hour away 😳

he wants to pull over hearing u whine n grip his hand, noticing ur quietness and ur little mumbles everytime u rest ur head back after a contraction

he doesn’t give a fuck, he will carry u into the hospital and then put u in a wheelchair from the entrance so u don’t have to walk

u have a feeling maybe hes more nervous than u but atm ur fuckin close to losing it over the pain

u two are settled into a room, epidural done and just trying to make u comfortable now

u were seven centimeters which u still had to wait but u both knew u were close to meeting ur baby

when u are at ten centimeters though, chan is just a ball of tears and he’s just so proud of you

your hand was in his the whole time, chan’s lips near ur ear and he’s just whispering for u to concentrate on him and how much u wanna meet the baby

“i—i can’t do it!” 🥺🥺

you were honestly so drained and ur forehead was laced with sweat, ur hands sweaty and shaking in his own from being nervous and slowly becoming weaker as u put ur strength into pushing

“baby, you are probably what? three pushes, maybe you can cut it to one and a half. alright? you can do this baby, we’re so close to meeting our baby.”

that’s all u needed n chan knew it

surprise surprise,, chan was right about one and a half

“it’s a boy!!” which chan would press his lips to yours so quickly, u two crying and letting out watery laughs as your baby boy cried 🥺

he hasn’t felt this much pride and love since debut or releasing an album or tour, he couldn’t express how gifted he was to have deserved the gift of being a father

ofc they introduce you both to kangaroo care, chan so ready to take off his shirt and feel his baby boy’s skin against his own warm skin and he did so

then it was ur turn to hold him the same way, chan asking u if he could pull down ur gown so u could hold him like he did

that was the picture he needed, snapping it and getting you holding the baby against your naked (ofc ur gown was covering ur breasts) chest, your son sleeping soundly with his hands pressed against you

u two were parents now, u both had learned about pregnancy together and now u two were going to explore parenthood together

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fishmongeringstudies · 3 years

Text

six: wandering the city while waiting for a train that'll never come, you stop to wave at a dog on the street only to realize you have mistaken a crumpled bag of mcdonald's for a chihuahua

i almost slipped and died in the shower today. luckily i didn't, because i read somewhere that slipping and dying in the shower makes it a little hard for you to finish writing a manuscript for a novel fictionalizing the events of your freshman spring semester that's definitely going to become a new york times bestseller in about four years' time, but i came pretty close. for a moment i had my hand on the wall and my legs splayed like a barbie doll stuck to a stripper pole and the matchbox world behind the shower curtain was slipping steadily south and heading lower still. and then i caught myself.

several minutes later i heard scuffling beyond the pale, soapy shower curtain and thought there might be someone creeping on me. if someone was creeping on me i had an idea of who it might be, which made the prospect all the more likely and infinitely more convincing inside the grapefruit-sized thing i called my brain. then i heard the clap of god's hands in an ashen sky, and i knew. this was no man made disaster-in-waiting. it had begun to rain.

it didn't rain for long. five minutes at best, two if my grasp on the spatial-temporal continuum is worse than i'd imagined (this is very likely; the stars pass me by faster than i can count them these days), but long enough that anyone who happened to be outside when that first teardrop fell from the sky got a little wet. a little fucked up, if you will, which, hey. good for him. he deserves to get a little fucked up.

but i get carried away. please excuse my personal grievances. this is not a lament, it is a swimming pool. full of tiny colorful fish which flit around at its bottom, chasing strands of sunlight like children on a playground.

the weather forecast says it'll rain again tomorrow, and maybe the day after, too, if the world stays sad enough to let it happen. it makes me nostalgic. when i left in february monsoon season was in full swing, tearing trees from their roots with big meaty hands and making every fleeting boring moment into the kind of gray sunday afternoon on which i imagine the directors of romantic dramas like to shoot break-ups. rain in singapore looks different. it's not a bucket full of water, it's a room. a blue room against a silver sky. your socks stuck to your ankles with the kind of grim determination that makes you almost a little sad to peel them off, to toss them in the washing machine behind the kitchen. there's a little balcony behind the kitchen in the house you left in february, with a washing machine and a ledge for sitting on and a dryer that doesn't work. you used to go there when you wanted to check on the restaurant across the street. from here you can make out the round, blue-rimmed tables that attract students, biking enthusiasts, three am brawls between red-faced european men and their red-faced european friends. if there's noise on this side of the street, it's probably coming from there.

summer. summer reminds me of home. so far i've been telling people that the association is a bad one, and it certainly isn't a lie, but it's not a whole truth either, if one believes in the matter of whole truths to begin with. i'm starting to think maybe there are only skim-milk truths, clotted cream truths, 0% fat yogurt truths. truths that change shape when you aren't looking. we aren't looking most of the time, after all. we're very busy people. all of us. we're trying to change the world.

and for what? who are we trying to save? do you want to live forever? that's the goal, isn't it. i mean it's definitely mine. i won't blame you if the concept of death sits on your shoulder like a fourth generation ipod touch with a broken home button, whispering really fucked up shit into your ear when you're alone. i mean it definitely does for me.

puzzle-girl is in new york now, last i checked. good for her. i hear new york is full of lights and electricity and car exhaust. maybe one day she will learn that friendship isn't an emergency help-line. probably not. my friend thinks she will, thinks we'll come back around in our junior year and everyone will see us stuck to each other again like two grotesque modern art pieces drilled back-to-back into a museum exhibit wall only with a firm mutual understanding of what boundaries are, but i have my doubts.

once someone told me with the kind of half-fake half-genuine smile that makes you wonder if AI technology has advanced far enough to mimic the complexities of stupid hormonal teenagers with really bad interpersonal issues after all that i was blooming. coincidentally all the flowers on campus had suddenly decided to poke their heads out of the dirt like babies busting their way out of refrigerators, guns blazing, hearts shot to pieces, so it's not like he was completely bullshitting me. he was only ninety-eight percent bullshitting me. the two percent is why he comes up in my writing as often as he does, all this time later. like i think he was ninety-eight percent clown but two percent circus, two percent red-nosed reindeer trying to unionize behind a striped curtain, two percent something real. or at least i like to think that way. i'm a writer. we have to pretend there's something to write about. or else what will we write about?

so yeah. one time someone told me i was blooming. at the time i was embarrassed. and then after the story put an abrupt end to itself i was madly obsessed with the idea of flowers jutting out of cracks in the earth, gold pouring forth from blood-wounds, poinsettia eyes, whatever, whatever, and then the flowers started wilting. standing on the path outside my dorm i was like what the fuck? why the hell is everything dying? it's been like three days, god, what are you guys made of, tissue paper?

i was talking to the flowers. which died in spite of my indignation, so that's one for nature, zero for me. good for them. see you next spring, when things will, hopefully, be different. i don't have a plan as much as i have a dream i'd like to see walk into reality on three legs and a pitchfork. but it's a good dream. i promise.

the sky's clear as glass now. it's so bright i could probably stick my hand up there and stir vigorously and then an angel would emerge from the ether, rubbing her eye sleepily with the back of her hand. that's the kind of clarity i'm talking about. making metaphors about christianity-clarity. i am lonely and my dreams are full of beautiful people-clarity.

that's a lie-clarity. loneliness is, as mentioned in a previous installment of the meandering car accident i call this blog, a choice, and i'm too lazy and full of my own slew of interpersonal issues to commit to something like that. but summer is new, and it's like i'm getting used to the body in my basement all over again. how do i step around it, how do i make sure i don't look at its face? and its eyes, oh, those eyes. how terrible. how full of absence.

there will be exactly two hundred students on campus when summer move-ins are finished next week. this school has a population of nearly sixteen hundred. what are we doing?

research. academia. learning a new language. road trips. plane trips. horse riding lessons. research. academia. learning a new language. relationships. spaceships. building a ladder to the moon.

it feels like the sun never sets sometimes. the hours slide into one another like tectonic plates beneath the surface of the world and yet the sky remains just as it looked this afternoon, milk-white and pale as death. a hot summer wind blows and sends the clouds careening sideways into each other, and yet from this distance nothing changes. drop a body in a bathtub and nothing changes. beat someone up and nothing changes. survive thirteen weeks of bad mistakes and then worse ones, midnight mistakes, thursday evening mistakes, the kind of mistake you don't think you'll ever be able to write about, and still nothing changes.

they say there's always a silver lining but what if i want fur instead? let's say i want a fur-lined sky with fur-lined clouds and a little heart-shaped toy that makes a sound when you step on it. let's say i want to be fifteen again. the sky doesn't care. it still looks like a damn sky. the sky doesn't do things out of sentimentality.

it's just kind of there. today i'm just kind of here. today we're all alive. good for you. good for me. good thing my hand was on the wall when i slipped in the shower, so i could get out and dry my hair and then sit down in this shitty weird-smelling lounge with my laptop with the cracked touchpad and my cool elmo slippers, and tell you about this solitary life on mars.

05.26.2021

#i just realized i put my mask on inside out. luckily i have been alone in this lounge for thirty minutes and it is a new mask #so minimal damage has been done but shame on me anyway. i will go reflect in the shame corner now

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hqxreader · 4 years

Note

could i please request some hc’s for iwa, oikawa, and ushijima with a female s/o who is super active but still has a really chubby stomach?? like everywhere else on my body is pretty fit and slim but my stomach is like CHONKA idk why and i’m super self conscious so i just need some sweet lovin from my fave hq boys🥺

Hi Anon! I know you have a beautiful body!! Everyone’s body is beautiful in their own shape and way. I hope this lifts you up, it’s for sure not my best work, but I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: Body Shaming lightly??? (If thats the correct term) (The reader on themselves)

*Set in post-time skip

Iwaizumi Hajime

✦ You just came back from your morning jog when you can into to kitchen to see Iwaizumi reading the newspaper while drinking coffee out of his favorite Godzilla mug.

✦ You walked over and pressed a quick kiss to his bed head and then went to getting yourself a cup of water.

✦ “What are you reading Hajime?”

✦ “Something about some model losing a bunch of weight with this exercise regime she used, but it’s crazy harsh and it gives her no breaks.”

✦ Your eyebrows perked at the article, losing weight?

✦ “Can I read it? Sounds interesting.”

✦ Iwaizumi looked up at you and gave you a glare that he would normally give to Oikawa,

✦ “No, you don’t need to loose weight, your weight and body is great just is way is it. I don’t want you starving and exercising yourself to death over some body weight.”

✦ You frowned and placed your glass down on the counter, going over and standing next to Iwaizumi.

✦ “Hajime, I only said read, not do. Can I please read it?” “No.”

✦ The two of your stared at each other before he stood up out of his chair with a final swig of coffee, looking right into your eyes.

✦ “When will you understand that what your body looks like doesn’t matter to me? What I love about you is how sweet, funny, and damn stubborn you can be, okay angel?”

✦ You nodded and kissed him, a smile on your face and more confidence in you.

Oikawa Tooru

✦ You guys are about attend a big banquet for Oikawa and the volleyball league, celebrating that years teams and giving out awards, etc, etc.

✦ You currently stood in front of your full length mirror in your shared apartment, twisting and turning to look at the dress from all angles on your body.

✦ You felt like it looked great on you! The only thing you were worried about was your stomach and people comparing your otherwise fit body to that.

✦ So while you kept stressing, Oikawa walked up behind you in a black tux and wrapped his arms around your waist, holding your hands together, and started placing butterfly kisses up your neck.

✦ “You look beautiful in that dress, my love, you’ll be the talk of the party.”

✦ You just shake your head in disagreement, “No, I won’t. I don’t look beautiful really, Tooru.”

✦ Oikawa rested his chin on top of your head and just stood in silence with you for a few moments.

✦ “You look stunning, no matter what you or anyone else says or thinks. When we get home tonight I’ll show you just how much I love you, and how beautiful you are.

✦ “And if anyone says otherwise, then the next time I play them, they’re getting a serve to the face.”

✦ A small smile appeared on your face, “Thank you for your act of chivalry baby, even if it’ll come with consequences.”

✦ After that little pep talk, you felt more confident than before in your dress and body.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

✦ You might work out with him since you’re super active, and man is that a rough training regime.

✦ But still, with Ushijima the exercise never stops.

✦ So when you slowly start purposefully missing out to exercise with him, he pays a bit more attention to you and how you’ve been more down lately.

✦ He eventually asks you about it, being point blank about it of course,

✦ “Why did you stop exercising y/n? You look very sad.”

✦ You just glanced at him and then continued to gnaw at the inside of your cheek and fiddle with your shirt,

✦ “I just can’t lose this belly fat Toshi, no matter how hard I work out with you it just goes nowhere, and it’s embarrassing and…”

✦ You looked over to him and saw him just staring at you, as if he hadn’t comprehended a single word.

✦ “But it’s okay, I’ll go on some sorta fancy, 0 calorie, 0 fat, 0 sugar diet, don’t worry about me-”

✦ “I will worry about you and what stresses you out. You should focus more on sit ups than running with me.”

✦ “Really Toshi?” “Really.”

✦ You never thought such words could make you so happy and put a smile on your face.

Taglist - @ohmythatmiya @yams046 @pepperskullss

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anthonyrothschild · 4 years

Text

[ ANTHONY ROTHSCHILD. 30. MALE. HE/HIM] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ 30 YEARS (OFF & ON) ] and are originally from [ SILVER LAKE ]. They are a [ UPCOMING BUSINESS OWNER/WINEMAKER ] and in their downtime love [ RACE CAR DRIVING ] and [ PURSING THE STOCK MARKET ]. They look a lot like [ AARON TAYLOR JOHNSON ] and live [ ON SILVERWOOD TERRACE ].

hello, i am alli!! i love lipgloss, money, and expensive frozen yogurt... i give off paris hilton “that’s hot” energy... ok here’s his bullet point bio (but if you want to see the full one, click here or go to url/bio. like this post if you want me to hit you up for plots (or you can take initiative)

birth in silver lake, anthony has lived here his entire life from 0-17. he has been groomed to live the silver spoon life that his parents had ever since he popped out of the womb.

pretty insecure in his youth because he was told he couldn’t do it without them, so he never went against the grain.

family was the classic rich perfectionist family, mother had spent her days at the Cape Fear Country Club, gossiping with the rest of the wives of entrepreneurs/politicians/finance/etc & his father had smoked fat cigars with the likes of the other affluent people of Silver Lake ranging from philanthropists to stockbrokers. known for their huge family dinners on Fridays and the fact that they had never missed a single mass (family was super catholic).

life was about keeping the Rothschild name clean. scandal was practically unheard of with how hard they worked to keep their reputation pure.

public did not know his mother had been popping Xanax daily and his father had been committing fraud and embezzlement since the very beginning of his career.

anthony fulfilled his parent’s wishes of having the ideal family-friendly son. popular in school for being a total heartthrob but charismatic and charming to the point of questioning if it was possible that he was even a real person. In typical golden boy style (... that nate archibald energy wld be the closest to understanding it ig?), he crushed it as the midfielder and leader of his high school’s soccer team. as he entered his teenage years, he found himself yearning for something more, this endless itching to wreck havoc and chaos, to break free from the Rothschild reputation.

this is the big moment in the films where the main character starts changing so hang on to your seats!! the knee injury. the force that pushed him over the edge. what made him give it all up. it was his greatest affliction and ruined his up and coming athletic career in the senior year. his knee never recovered fully to its originaly form + he wasn’t allowed to play the sport seriously anymore.

he gained a devil-may-care outlook on life, notoriety to what was once a wholesome boy-next-door reputation. he lived his life w/an empiricist mindset. opened his ignorant clouded eyes to the truth, his family was completely artificial. he began stealing and reselling cars as well as selling to sad addicted housewives like his own mother who needed their fix b/c he felt hollow. not yet at the nihilism point bt close enough.

eighteen hits + he is gone without a trace: disappearing as if he hadn’t existed in the small town at all. “Why did he leave?” “What is he doing?” “He’s actually here and his father just locked him up like Boo Radley” “I heard the Rothschild boy joined an illegal underground fight club.” Malicious rumors spread.

none of these rumors had it right. anthony spent most of his 20s traveling the world with one backpack, letting the world be his school. Being cut off, he managed to use some of the money saved from car stealing in the beginning but then kept various jobs (Mostly legal) in the locations that he stayed in temporarily to keep himself afloat. he became a true car enthusiast + realized what he wanted rather than what others wanted.

with a new desire to reinvent himself, he had turned his journals into a novel on his experiences and ended up making some buzz in the literature world. his luck died as quickly as it began, leaving him forgotten in the literature world. Noted as a one-hit wonder, he settled on investing into the stock market to keep himself afloat. despite being told he couldn’t, he made his own fortune and has been living off of his well played investments.

If not for the merciless divorce of his parents (His father had left his mother for a too-young assistant but she ended up taking him for everything that he had), Silver Lake may have just been a chapter in his life to get to the end of the book, a place that he remembers only as a distant memory from ages 0 to 17. ant has come back to start a wine business and finally settling down somewhere, at least for a little while.

that’s what you missed on glee

WANTED PLOTS

old high school fling(s)??

someone who is just as interested in cars as he is + works on them w him.....asdfghbnj

potential family members... cousins whatever.

maybe there is someone he met on one of his journeys

#slintro

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dnarez · 4 years

Text

Chapter 15 - Sports Festival Part 5

((((REAL QUICK

I lov u all so much! Thank you all for 4k readings!

I was going to stop after the Sports Festival but since u all like it so much I will continue beyond it.

Also, here is a warning, I WON'T get to where the manga and to where the anime is, I will probably stop around the License exam, not that I don't like it is just that I have another fic on my pocket and have around 5 chapters ready, but since I'm updating this one I won't start posting it until this one has some kind of end. (I'm too lazy for update 2 fics at the same time)

Thank u for the 4k reads again and have a good reading)))))

"I knew he would come to us sooner then later" Y/n smiled and patted Midoriya's head "you make strong enemies don'tcha?"

He looked guiltily at her "sorry... I did suppose we'd have to face them near enough to the final phase of the battle but..."

"Don't worry, I doubt that you made it on purpose" she petted his head again and straightened up looking at her enemy with predatory eyes. "Big brother will be very proud of me if I win against a Todoroki"

Her pupils turn into slits as her orangy yellow wings puff up, giving a more intimidating look.

"WE STILL HAVE HALF OF THE MATCH LEFT! KEEP MOVING! THE ONES COMING AFTER US AREN'T JUST A SINGLE TEAM!"

She looked at team Mineta that would try to get advantage on Todoroki's team back and got back to staring at Shoto's team seeing their lip movement as they came full force made her realize their plan.

She flew them back as pikachu boy activated his quirk after Shoto covered himself and his teammates with the cloth that the creator girl created.

Being far enough from them she was able to save her team from the shock, but seeing Dark Shadow's distress from the light made her cover him with her wings.

Dark Shadow looked at her surprised but smiled at her.

"You okay there buddy?" She petted his head. "It's almost over don't worry"

He nodded and looked at her determined as she folded her wings again and saw all the other teams stock on ice.

"WHA-WHAT'S THIS!? TODOROKI HELD BACK THE MOB OF HORSES IN ONE SWOOP!" Mic shouted... again

"He use Kaminari's quirk to stop everyone firmly in their tracks so he could be sure to freeze them all... he's looking back at the obstacle race where too many were able to dodge his ice for his liking." Aizawa calmly explained

'Aizawa's explanation is so good... I want him as my teacher!' Y/n looked at Shoto's team and didn't try to fly away, her team looked at her panicking

"WHAT HAPPENED???" Midoriya asked panicking "YOU CAN'T FLY??"

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT?? DID YOU GET HURT?" Uraraka asked as she looked at Y/n's wings then back at her enemies.

"No... My instincts are telling me to not fly, I can't go against them, sorry but... WE HAVE TO FACE THEM HEAD ON"

"I'll stop them" he attacked with Dark Shadow but the creator girl protected against his attack.

"DAMMIT! THAT DAMN "CREATION" QUIRK IS SOMETHING ELSE!" Midoriya shouted staring at the creator girl.

"Get distance from them! Don't let them get too close!" Y/n shouted frustrated about not being able to fly away. "MIDORIYA! The worst is Kaminari! I can protect Dark Shadow only partially! He is weaker on the light! We must stay on guard with all the members of that team!"

He nodded "Our attack power is down... but they don't know that do they?"

"In all likelihood. I've only ever told Kouda at USJ, and Y/n, I doubt that they told anyone." Tokoyami said

"Let's get advantage on that... Takami-chan Todoroki refuses to use his left side"

Y/n nodded understanding what he meant by that.

"THERE'S ONLY ABOUT A MINUTE LEFT!! AND TODOROKI HAS SET THE FIELD... ALL THAT'S LEFT NOW IS TAKING THOSE THE MILLION POINTS!!! IT'LL BE SWIPED UN AN INSTANT!!!! OR SO I MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT UP UNTIL FIVE MINUTES BACK!! BUT TAKAMI HAS DONE WELL TO KEEP AWAY DURING ALL THAT TIME, EVEN IN THIS CONSTRICTED SPACE!!"

Todoroki had made a ring like formation not leaving space to Takami's team to run away.

Takami's team was being able to keep distance from Todoroki's right side while keeping a good distance from his left one.

'She always put her distance to my left... she's seen through me. Now even if I use ice for a short distance, I'll catch Iida in it. And if I use my ice recklessly. I'll be ruining my on chances. Kaminari's lightning too, can be fended off by Tokoyami and Takami... only a minute left...! DAMN YOU!' Todoroki's eyes didn't leave Y/n for a moment.

She felt Iida's lips moving and felt his quirk being activated. "Bad feeli-" before she could even finish the phrase Todoroki's team ran past them, and toke her headband. "OH NO! FAST! WE HAVE TO GET IT BACK!"

"WHAAAAAAAAA!? WHAT HAPPENED!!? THAT WAS BLISTERINGLY FATS!! IIDA, IF YOU HAVE SUPER ACCELERATION, THE WHY DIDN'T YOU USE IT IN THE PRELIMINARIES!!!? THE BACK AND FORTH BATTLE ENDED! AND THE ONE HAVING THE PAST LAUGH IS..."

"I thought I told you, Midoriya. I'M CHALLENGING MYSELF AGAINST YOU!!" Iida looked at Midoriya meeting eye to eye.

"TURNABOUT!! TODOROKI HAS THE TEN MILLION!! AND TAKAMI HAS CRASHED BACK DOWN TO 0 POINTS!!"

"LET'S GET OUR POINTS BACK!" Y/n was with her wings full red again

"As long as Kaminari's with them we can't attack! I think aiming for the other team points might be advisable..." Y/n look at Tokoyami and them at Dark Shadow, seeing their distress and feeling that the determination was still on everyone.

They moved close to Todoroki clashing on their front, Y/n extended her hand to the headband on his neck, when she was on Shoto's front she could feel all of his emotions.

With her right hand holding his left arm that was now on fire and her right on his left one, she moved his hand out of the way with one movement. Her left hand picked the bottom headband from his neck as she was carried away in top speed. "GOT IT!"

She looked at the headband that she took and there it was the 10 million headband. "I GOT OURS BACK!"

"Put yourself together, Todoroki!! That was dangerous!" Iida told him as Todoroki calmed down.

"We shuffled the order just in case and even so she got it! How?!" The creator girl asked

Y/n chuckled and smiled sweetly at them "You should have guessed that I would be able to tell which one was which since I was with my headband over my eyes since the beginning! I will tell you how I got it IF YOU CAN STEAL IT AGAIN!!!" Her wings went from full orange to full yellow and gold, showing happiness and pride.

When the count down started Bakugo had got inside the icering, Bakugou's team and Todoroki's team went both to Takami aiming for her headband, but they forgot something important about her and her team, just because they couldn't fly before didn't mean that she couldn't now.

"HOLD ON TIGHT!" She smirked as she opened her wing and felt her friends hold on to her, when Todoroki was about to get near her again she flew up out of their reach.

"TIME UP!" as Mic said that beautiful phrase Y/n flew down and put them on the ground.

"NOW SHALL WE SER WHO OUR TOP 4 ARE!? IN 1ST PLACE, TEAM TAKAMI!!! IN 2ND PLACE, TEAM TODOROKI!! IN 3RD PLACE TEAM BAKUGO!! AND IN 4TH PLACE, TEAM TETSUTE... WAIT, HUH!? HEY! IT'S TEAM SHINSOU!!? WHEN THE HECK DID YOU MAKE IT SO HIGH UP!? THE 4 TEAMS WILL MOVE ON TO THE FINAL EVENT... NOW STEP FORWARD!!!" Mic announces.

Midoriya fell on his knees and start crying "I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO LOSE!!!"

Y/n smiles at him and knees down next to him "We wouldn't be able to get 1st place without you Midoriya-kun" she side hugs him and pet his head "you did a good job, you all did a good job" she separates the hug to meet Izuku's blushing face, she giggles at that and get up."Thank you all for your hard work" she hugs each of them tightly.

"Without you, we wouldn't be able to do it too!! Your wings helped so much!" Uraraka said after separating the hug

Tokoyami and Dark Shadow hug her "She's right, we will wait for you to become a student to our class."

"So we can become heroes together!" Dark Shadow complete his phase and part the hug and start waking forward.

Y/n walk behind Shoto, but before she could call him, to congratulate him, she heard him talking to himself. "I... I can't let it go on like this... this is exactly what Father always said..." she could feel his feelings, the anger, the sadness and the regret that were consuming him.

She thought it throw and decided against calling him instead she got next to Shinso and patted his shoulder. "You did great!"

He gave her a small smile and petted her head "And you did awesome"

"THE EVENT WILL BE AFTER AN HOUR'S LUNCH BRAKE! SEE YOU THEN!!! HEY, ERASERHEAD! LET'S GO GET SOME FOOD...!" Mic announced the break

"You wanna go grab something with me?" Hitoshi scratches the back of his neck looking at her lazily.

"Of c-" before Y/n could finish she looked at one of the more empty gates and saw Todoroki and Midoriya go there, the tension between then was big, and the feelings of confusion, anger and terror where around both of them.

"Hey, earth to birdbrain!" Shinso waved his hand in front of her eyes and she looked back at him "let's go...?" He nodded to the gate that had the quickest way to the food trucks.

"Sorry, I just... gonna call big brother and then I come find you okay?" She gave him a quick hug not giving time to him hug back "I knew you could do it" then Y/n started to run behind the two boy trying not to be noticed, leaving Hitoshi alone, he sighed and went to get food.

Y/n hides behind the wall at hearing distance from them, Bakugo appeared behind her but she made sign for him to keep quiet, as he was about to complain he heard Midoriya's voice.

"You wanted to tell me something... what is it?"

She made eye contact with Bakugo and they both nodded to each other agreeing to keep quiet, so both could eavesdrop

- . . . . . . . . . . . .

1950 words

Yoh! Hope you all are enjoying this book.

So to the important thing about last chapter.

NO ONE COULD CONVINCE ME TO CHANGE THE CHARACTER TO ROMANCE WITH.

I always read every comment, even the silly ones and the mean ones, but no one have a good enough resoning for me to change it from shotoXreader to katsukiXreader.

So I will keep it with Shoto as the romantic partner, that was the last chance you all had to make me change my mind, from here on this will be a shotoXreader only. DON'T FORGET THAT THE FOCUS OF THE STORY IS HAWKS BEING THE BEST BIG BRO EVER.

(Also poor Hawk's still is helping people on his way to U.A. poor big brother)

Buuuuuuut! Since I can't give you a fic with Bakugo stay with this cute Bakugo surprised n blushing for u all❤

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five-wow · 4 years

Text

I WATCHED 10.22. HERE ARE SOME THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT. i promise they won’t all be in full caps, but i feel i should also warn you that this was not proofread.

the episode is starting! it has started. the start has started.

lots of flashbacks from 10.21 with VERY dramatic music in the background and it’s very much working on me. EMOTIONS.

oh my gosh we’re now getting a flashback (a new one, not “previously on”) to wo fat and victor hesse planning some evil shit with daiyu mei serving them tea and it is EVEN MORE DRAMATIC than the previously on was. i am IMPRESSED. also maybe laughing a little bit, but in a way where i’m genuinely enjoying the extreme “LOOK, THIS IS BAD” of it, gosh.

fun way to remind us of how it all started, with these two planning anton’s extraction! they get to show us bits and pieces from the pilot while we still get something new.

wo fat: “blood. is blood.” hmmm, the show seems to want us to think he has a point but i’m mostly amused this is coming from the ultimate bad guy because yes, that seems about right. (hashtag you don’t owe people anything just because you’re related to them, shuddup.)

daiyu mei looks all shy and awkward when wo fat asks for her input but i’ve decided that’s an act to keep victor underestimating her.

steve and cole are in a car and fjdkfdjk wait catherine is a super code breaker now? idk, she may have displayed some skills that leaned that way in the past, but now she’s suddenly well-known as one of the best in that field even though that’s not even her field as far as we know? i. i don’t mind catherine getting brought up in conversation but this is such an odd way to do it.

“we were together for a buncha years” hahaha, fandom never really knows how to define the start and end of their relationship and it seems steve doesn’t, either.

“she was the one that got away. what’re you gonna do?” well, look sad and frowny while this guy you barely know throws you a somewhat awkward look because you’re suddenly baring your heart to him, apparently! (for real though, i get that people will be upset at this phrasing and i’m sort of thinking this is a lead in to things i won’t like at the end of the episode and that’s bad but for what it’s worth, i don’t mind this at all! she did slip away from him at a time where he thought they were going somewhere else and he’s talking in past tense now.)

cole is worried he ruined steve’s day by bringing up catherine and that’s sweet, actually! seals emotionally supporting seals.

OOF it is TIME for danny to get ABDUCTED. also: i love that steve immediately drops everything, including the very important super secret difficult to arrange meeting to maybe finally get some insight into this cipher that doris left him, to race to wherever danny is in his car. i feel like alerting hpd (or anyone else in five-0 who might be closer) would be a good idea, but it makes a lot of sense for steve to need to Be There himself.

ohhhhh steve continually nearly crashing his truck while yelling for danny but only hearing gunshots over the line is 👌👌👌. THE ANGST. THE TENSION. very good, very good.

the camaro is BURNING. well that’s one way to smack us in the face with the end of an era, damn.

steve is ALSO BURNING because he obviously tried to get inside the car ahhhh.

fjdkf steve calls tani with instruction about cameras and tani asks if everything is okay because he sounds upset and all he says is “danny’s been taken” and that’s how tani an junior find out, poor dears.

steve, instructing hpd: “we’re looking for detective danny williams. you know who he is, my partner, right? we’re looking for him.” YOU KNOW WHO HE IS. MY PARTNER.

steve is already out of breath from sheer stress and he’s just standing around the tech table with the team, my gosh. (I LOVE THIS.)

danny, bloody and chained up and facing his captor, a woman he already knows is very, very dangerous: [makes a joke about exchanging insurance information because they burned his car] (LOVE HIM TOO.)

OOF though, daiyu mei lets danny know she knows he has two kids and the jokes are over because that’s definitely the line with danny, god.

here’s the scene from the one preview clip i watched! i’m really enjoying daiyu mei, by the way. she’s still a totally bonkers way to bring the threat of wo fat back even after he’s dead, but she is genuinely threatening.

“i have the person you care about most in the world” hello yes i’m still yelling about that one and might not stop soon

daiyu mei telling steve not to make the same mistake he did with his father and “allow a loved one to die” is so mean but so good and narratively pretty darn cool.

we’re not even eleven minutes in and we’re already at “come alone, commander, or your friend dies”. [insert that escalated quickly meme]

steve thinks he has zero options except give in to exactly what daiyu mei wants and it’s very unsteve of him but also fits perfectly with the mindset they’ve maneouvred him into over the past few episodes and with DANNY BEING GONE so i like it. i like that steve is very obviously freaking the fuck out.

never though i would say this, but... steve, you should listen to adam. it’s shocking, especially this season, but he is making an actual good judgment.

steve alone in the elevator on the verge of either a panic attack or breaking down crying and curling up into a ball is A LOT.

steve goes to the meeting alone, gets a location and confirmation that danny is alive and then hands over the cipher, and that’s good but also... i mean, for real, if he had just printed some random symbols on a similar piece of paper (maybe even the same symbols but in a different order!) how on earth would daiyu mei have known?

OH. OHHHH. danny does the badass steve-ish thing where he pulls himself up by his shackles to somehow get himself free, holy fuck, yes man.

IT WORKS. knocked out the guard, got the keys, got a gun - damn son. not only do we get worried out of his mind steve, we ALSO get bamf danny, ahhhh.

AND THEN HE GETS SHOT IN THE SHOULDER, which is where all those promo pictures came from obviously, and also means we’re about to tick off the hurt part of h/c in an even bolder font than we already had.

fdjkfdjkfd steve’s litany of comforting little nonsense lines while he’s dragging danny to the car and getting him into it and NOT GETTING BEHIND THE WHEEL BUT STAYING WITH DANNY IN THE BACK is killing me slowly.

fdjkfd steve hugging danny’s bloody face in his lap oh my god

apparently that wasn’t GOOD ENOUGH YET because then they’re at the hospital and steve tells the doctor’s what’s up and they’re about to roll danny away and danny, half dead and according to steve in and out of consciousness, somehow finds the time to try to grAB AT STEVE’S ARM BLINDLY. steve: “hey, i’m with you buddy, it’s okay.” DEAD. NOT DANNY, ME. I AM VERY DEAD.

the entire team is stressed and worried and just dead quiet, watching danny and steve. ohhhh boy.

oh fuck oh fuck steve is praying and red-eyed and furious and telling god “you wanna take somebody? take me. not him, you take me.” and i have a very big massive weak spot for exactly this.

cole comes to find steve to offer to figure out the cipher thing and steve has a very hard time giving a single flying shit and then HANDS COLE HIS GUN. welllll. just letting go of stuff they never would have normally left and right, here. i was kind of expecting steve’s badge to follow.

tani has a lot of good worried moments and i love that.

danny is out of surgery!!! steve gets to see him!!!

oh GOD we get a sad version of all for one while steve is in danny’s hospital room and grabs danny’s hand and i am. oh. oh. not okay.

STILL ONLY JUST PAST THE HALFWAY POINT OF THE EPISODE.

it’s honestly kind of weird that cole has this much screentime (i know he was supposed to be back for the season 11 that will never happen, but with the way things turned out that’s not very relevant anymore in story), but i mind it less than i thought i would have. i like him, and i’m glad he has quinn with him now, because i always want more of her.

danny wakes up and his slightly loopy conversation with steve has me fjdkfdjkfd. d: [says you’re supposed to be happy when a patient wakes up] s, like he might still be about to cry: “i’m happy.” d: “yeah? yeah, me too.”

steve is hurting and blaming himself for everything (very in character) and danny tells him he’s already annoying and that if he had a dollar for every time steve saved his life he’d have like twenty bucks (also very in character) and i’m glad for that bit of comic relief and they need it, too, but somebody also needs to give steve a good shake until the thought that this is on him leaves his head. if anyone except daiyu mei is responsible here, it’s doris. blame doris, jfc.

danny, after nearly dying and only just waking up in the hospital, while he still has trouble speaking: “put [the call steve is getting] on speaker, would you, i’m bored.” more jokes! but it also makes me go fjdkfdjk because you will not convince me that this is not danny, extremely injured, still trying to take care of steve by distracting him from all the misery they’re in.

fjdkfd OKAY SO. plot stuff: the cipher translates to coordinates that apparently lead to the place where the mcgarretts thought doris was buried. steve says he knows the place because his dad used to take him there and ? because i always thought john sent his kids away pretty soon after doris died so he can’t have had much time to visit her grave a lot with them, but also just, the drama of it, wow, doris. send your son an encrypted message that sends him to your fake grave, why don’t you.

jfkdsjlfksljfds the mcgarretts have a family mausoleum now, apparently, omfg. and there was still a space with doris’s name on it? even though they’ve known for how many years by now that she was still alive oh my gosh

cole is along for the ride to doris’s fake grave and steve keeps dropping these little nuggets from his family history and cole keeps (rightfully!) looking a little confused and/or alarmed, poor guy, hahaha.

daiyu mei is running full tilt and doing some mad parcour shit in a suit and what looks like high heels and there is a whole action scene here with lots of players and constant shooting and some one-on-one fighting, but i am fully distracted by the shoewear.

oh, false alarm, probably! not quite high heels, just something ballarina like with a very tiny heel. that’s better.

fjdkfjdkfd OOF daiyu mei nearly kills steve, steve gets the upper hand, daiyu mei says some things and we’re given another flashback to wo fat and victor hesse and this time also john when he was held hostage, and suddenly we’re told he’s not surprised that doris had a secret son (wo fat) and that he suspected her death was staged.

OH MY GU==fdj

okay so those were typos but i’m LEAVING THEM because “whatever happens next, don’t tell my son. it would be too hard on him.” HELLO JOHN, FUCK YOU JOHN. he wanted??? to keep this secret??? from steve??? and also he doesn’t even acknowledge that he maybe has more than just a son. maybe there is a person called mary out there somewhere? might ring a bell, if you think about it long and hard.

wo fat: “you’re a good man, john mcgarrett.” i really don’t know if we’re supposed to agree with things wo fat says but he’s mostly voicing the opposite of what i feel this episode.

daiyu mei to steve: “you are your father.” oh gosh. oh no.

ahh, here’s a point where cole’s presence really starts to take away from other characters. he shows up to steve and daiyu mei’s confrontation to back steve up, and that obviously should have been any other character that we’ve known for way longer and have way more attachment to (junior! that would have been so good, or maybe lou, who’s also been here for seven years, or tani, who keeps worrying), especially, very very much especially when steve goes “book her, cole”. that’s just confusing, too. so far the cole and steve parallels have been thrown at us and now he’s suddenly in danny’s place.

32 minutes out of 42 and we’re at “one week later” and steve hopping through his garden to get to the beach chairs where danny is sitting. this is good but worrying for how early it comes.

danny says he misses the very nice nurse who brought him jello and steve tells him not to confuse a caregiver for someone who cares and danny goes “yeah? you know jealousy is not uh, pretty on you.” and then they’re both awkwardly quiet for a moment. dear lord.

AND THEN THINGS WENT PEARSHAPED. danny: “you all packed?” my heart is sinking fast. maybe i should just quit here and leave it at danny telling steve jealousy is not pretty on him (which implies other things are pretty on steve - let’s get back to that).

steve to danny, who is talking up hawaii (which is of course very good): “who are you?” i am having FLASHBACKS to junior asking tani that exact same thing just a few episodes ago.

danny seriously questions steve’s decision to just up and leave hawaii a bunch of times and yes, danny, good, grill him. this is a stupid plan.

danny: “you know, it don’t feel like it’s gonna be okay. it feels like- my main dude is leaving me.” HI STEVE. MAYBE DON’T. MAYBE DON’T GO. MAYBE DON’T HURT DANNY.

“you got a phone, right?” we’re seriously at that point. we are. seriously at that point. wow.

steve forces danny to get up to give him the frigging tenderest, dopily smiliest hug and it is so very sweet yet so very wrong.

“I LOVE YOU, MAN.” / “I LOVE YOU TOO.” THEY DID NOT YELL THAT BUT I AM BECAUSE THIS IS ALL I’VE WANTED FOR TWO YEARS and now it’s under these circumstances which ugh BUT I AM STILL HYPED. THEY GOT TO SAY IT AGAIN. GOOD. FUCKING GOOD.

“don’t make me come looking for you” danny says after he sits back down and without another word steve starts walking away and then he stops and looks back and catches danny looking over his shoulder but quickly looking away again and holy fucking damn if this isn’t how stories go when they try to tell us that two characters shouldn’t be parting because they don’t want to. turn around, steve. it’s so easy.

EDDIE. my gosh, ANOTHER blond guy who loves steve to pieces and who steve Should Not Just Leave, wtf.

eddie gets an i love you too and then a kiss and my heart! is having a hard time today!

oh LORD there’s a knock at the door and it’s the whole entire team and lou!!! is making me cry!!! and everyone whispers how much steve means to them at him while they’re hugging him and fjdkfd what. why is he leaving! it’s starting to sound like a worse decision by the second.

i could cry at all of these goodbyes seperately but right now i am also crying at tani immediately hugging noelani when she joins the pile of people who have said goodbye. ohhhh.

EVERYONE IS CRYING. not cool. VERY UNCOOL. also, honestly, i love that danny got to say goodbye seperately and it’s fitting that he just can’t watch steve actually walk out the door but also... he should have been here, gdi. now there’s this huge emotional team moment and he’s absent and it’s weird.

steve boards a plane and sits down and his phone beeps and it’s danny texting him “miss you already” and i cannot believe this is actual canon and had to pause to kind of laugh/gasp for air for a little bit.

and catherine shows up! i’ve been braced for this so i’m not surprised and it’s less bad than i thought in many ways but also. they talk about cath driving danny’s car and steve says they can’t have danny williams driving his own car and if that’s true, then why the hell are you leaving, steve. what are you doing to danny? (also. uh. danny’s car kind of went up in flames? he has a new one already? i. what.)

cath asks if steve is ready and they hold hands and steve turns to look out the plane window and smiles and that’s very suddenly it.

you know what? you know what, for the most part, i absolutely loved this. i was prepared for VERY BAD THINGS and i don’t enjoy steve leaving at the end at all and i have MANY NOTES on how things could have maybe ended even better but i. i am okay with this. i am okay with this! that is honestly more than i thought i would be able to say and i’m just VERY RELIEVED right now.

as for the show ending with steve and cath... that was weird, but... he also held danny’s hand this episode and that was supposedly platonic, and steve and cath did not suddenly have a big romantic kiss or get engaged, so i am choosing to take this as a platonic reunion with a person from steve’s past he still cares about, someone who travels a lot and was in hawaii to break that code and therefore this makes sense. he leaves with cath, and then, in a few weeks’ time, he comes back to danny (the person he cares about most in the world), and canon just, y’know, forgot to mention that little tidbit. it happens.

anyway, i had EMOTIONS and i still need to let all of this sink in and i hope you’re all doing okay after this whirlwind of a thing and ahhhh, it is so very weird that it’s over now. 💖

#h50 #h50 spoilers #10.22 #*#finale #[LOUD SCREAMING]

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denqis · 4 years

Text

white lie ㅡ bakugou katsuki

warnings: body dysmorphia, depression, suicide, cursing. if you struggle with any of the above, please seek help or talk to someone, my dm's are always open!

word count: 1442

it was dark, the room you were in just slightly flooded with the light from the hallway that shone through the crack between door and floor.

it wasn't late, in fact, class had just ended an hour ago, but you felt drained and restless at the same time.

you got up from your bed, only to stare at yourself in the mirror, stomach churning at the view.

your thighs looked fat, your belly sticking out and your eyes enhanced by dark circles. you looked disgusting, despite trying your darnedest to look put together at all times.

"y/n?"

a knock on your door, another one and a third one following fit.

you didn't react, you couldn't. you were too busy degrading every single detail of your existence, ripping yourself to shreds in front of the mirror.

"i'm coming in."

the handle lowered and soon enough bakugo stood in the middle of your room, eyeing you.

"are you ignoring me?"

your boyfriend of almost two years crouched down beside you, putting his big hand onto your thigh.

"hey, y/n?"

he sounded confused, but to you it read like annoyance rather than confusion.

"dinner's ready. we're all waiting for you."

you took a shaky breath and finally turned to bakugou, his red eyes piercing right through you.

"i'm not going to eat anymore."

you said, looking down at his hand on your thigh.

"don't be ridiculous! you gotta eat, come on."

he simply lifted you from your seated position, causing you to squirm and squeal.

"bakugou, stop! you're going to break your back, let me down."

his brows furrowed and he dropped you to your feet.

"y/n what's going on with you? did someone say something stupid to you? if so i'm going to beat them-"

you put a finger on his lips, effectively silencing him.

"i'm going to stop you right there. nobody told me anything, i just want to be fitter and then finally beat your ass."

this wasn't the issue, it was a cheap white lie.

"you're great the way you are, now come on, kiri's already starting a riot down there."

he pressed a quick peck onto your lips before leaving again.

this happened three weeks ago and from that point on you spiraled out of control. you worked through nights and studied during days, never finding time to eat or rest. never mind spending time with your boyfriend.

"i miss you, i miss us. y/n please. talk to me."

he had sat you down in the common room for a talk, completely ignoring the fact that almost the whole class was there as well, listening in on your conversation.

"i need to better myself, i just don't have time to be with you anymore!"

you just snapped, suddenly yelling it out, not even meaning it. you missed him too, you wanted to tell him everything but now, you had just ruined your relationship. in front of everyone.

he stared at you, dumbfounded, in disbelief. his eyes went blank and slowly but surely his face started to shift from sad to angry. his eyes started getting wet, tears threatening to fall.

"do you think i'm stupid?! i hear you every damn night, be it crying or doing jumping jacks or whatever the fuck you're doing! i've tried so hard this entire fucking time, trying to understand you, be patient with you, hear you out, but you never gave a shit about all of this, huh?! you don't care about me, you never listened to me because you're selfish! you're a selfish, miserable bitch who just wasted my fucking time! two years of my life?! down the drain! you're a fuck-up and you know it, you're a slut, you're a failure, useless, ugly and insecure, i fucking hate you!"

you stared at him, who had jumped from his seat, face red with anger, hands clenched into fists and tears streaming down his face.

kirishima had his hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down, but it was too late.

you sat there, wooden chair drilling into your backside and hands holding onto the table for dear life. your jaw started quivering and when you got up to leave, your knees felt like jelly.

"you're right."

you turned and left the dorms, leaving everyone in a state of shock.

"bro-"

kirishima started but bakugou just ran up to his room, locking himself in, only loud thuds, screams and explosions could be heard from then on through the night.

"bakugou!"

mina ran up to him, panic evident in her every move.

"i can't find y/n anywhere! she hasn't been replying at all and just sent a 'thank you'. for what?"

he told himself he didn't care, he wasn't involved with you anymore, but something deep down told him that something was wrong. there was a pit in his stomach and it was starting to drill deeper, numbing his entire body.

"please, you have to find her."

mina now begged, tugging on his sleeve, she must've been very worried for a very long time.

his phone suddenly started ringing, it was you.

"come find me. i'll give you a hint: we had our first kiss here."

he wanted to reply, but you already hung up on him.

"fuck. fuck. fuck!"

he didn't explain a thing to mina who was staring at him more confused than ever.

his feet started running, faster and faster, leaving the school building, running back to the dormitories.

he ran up the stairs, heaving breaths, shaking with fear and adrenaline.

when he finally reached the rooftop his heart rate dropped from 200 to 0 as he saw you standing there, on the edge.

"y/n what the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

he panted, supporting himself with his hands on his knees.

"katsuki."

you turned to him and he audibly gasped, you looked so frail and tired, not like yourself.

"don't do it. don't you fucking dare do this to me."

you cocked your head, a small smile playing around your pale lips.

"do what? i just wanted to enjoy the view, come sit."

your legs dangled from the rooftop as you stared down the swindling height.

"the view's so beautiful."

you suddenly felt two strong arms around your waist, heard his ragged breathing and were finally engulfed by his familiar scent.

"i got you, y/n. now leave the edge and come with me. we can talk this out."

"there's nothing to talk about, you already said everything. you hate me, i can't blame you."

his grip around you tightened, as he pressed a sole kiss to your neck.

"i could never hate you. please, come."

then he suddenly felt you stand up and his body started to feel awfully light.

"y/n, don't fucking use your quirk on me!"

he floated off the rooftop, stopping mid-air, hovering.

"you told me to come, i'm glad you could help me one last time."

you took a final step, your body leaving the ground.

"y/n!"

he tried to move but he was stuck. stuck seeing you, the love of his life, plummeting to the floor.

he screamed your name, over and over, his voice cracking, throat going sore and his ghost finally returning to his physical body.

"hey... bakugou. it's time."

kirishima put a hand on his best friend's shoulder, who was staring at the floor, eyes bloodshot.

"come on big guy."

he helped him up and straightened his black tuxedo for him, pushing him into the venue, right into the first row.

a picture of you smiling joined by white lillies adorned the black coffin.

"did you prepare an eulogy?"

the redhead whispered, nudging his friend.

"no. it's fucking dumb."

all of ua was there, the staff, the students and your family.

"now, her boyfriend with the eulogy."

bakugou slowly got up, making his way next to the coffin. he stared down at it, trying to imagine your lifeless body inside of it.

he suddenly felt sick, his eyes starting to water.

he hadn't cried this whole time, why now?

he tried to speak, but only gargled sobs escaped. after minutes of only his sobs filling the room, he took a shaky breath and spoke up.

"i love you... y/n.. please.. just come back to me."

his voice was coarse and quiet and after he said a simple sentence he crouched down in front of your coffin and put a hand onto it, just like always would do with your thigh.

"come back, come back y/n."

his voice broke and tears started streaming down his cheeks all over again.

#bnha #anime #bakugo katsuki #bakusquad #bakugo x reader #mha bakugo katsuki #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha katsuki #katsuki bakugo imagine

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dumbdancemomssideblog · 4 years

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S1E1: The Competition Begins

okie dokie first ever episode of dance moms rewatch starts now :0 i actually remember watching this the very first time it aired on lifetime because i was channel surfing and saw a commercial for it earlier that day. that was the summer between 8th and 9th grade. ah memories... i didnt know what to expect because i did dance when i was a kid but not on a competition team and it was mostly ballet so i was pretty unfamiliar with this whole world.

anyway lets begin. this is probably gonna be a longer post than what i’ll end up writing for the other episodes in season 1 bc the first episode introduces so much info, just a heads up

Act 1: (aside: yes its insufferable to divide this into “acts” when its really just like “segments separated by commercial breaks” but thats how they’re called in actual tv scripts so im just going with that cuz i cant think of a better/easier way uwu)

god this is so fucking early 2010s lmao

i miss these days where they were just talented nobodies from pittsburgh on a low budget reality tv show that nobody even knew would be successful. and the bad hair and makeup but idk if that was also just a 2011 thing lol

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES GREEN SCREEN INTROS IM DYING

the chalkboard !!!! they werent doing the pyramid on the mirror yet

(apparently abby never did anything similar to the pyramid thing but the producers made her and it became a whole Thing on the show and thats why the moms were like wtf is this bullshit the first week)

mackenzie looks like a toddler. chloe is so tiny. theyre the 2 who changed the most physically over the course of the show

i remember watching this for the first time being used to ballet lyrical and jazz but never having done or really seen acro/gymnastics in dance choreo and being SO flabbergasted. i was thinking “a chin stand is not dancing what the actual hell” and yknow what? i was right

melissa: “my boyfriend knows how much i spend on dance because he signs the checks...............hermehhemrherrmehermh” (the most awkward laugh omg)

maddie is wearing a fucking bumpit in her hair i cannot

melissa deadass just said out loud “im here for my daughter im not here to make friends” ok everybody mark that one off on your catty women’s reality tv show bingo card!

camera man accidentally getting in the shot filming right in front of the huge wall-mirror.... what is this, amateur hour? i’ll let it slide since its the first day of filming rehearsal but step it up, boys

aw i forgot about maddie getting sick and crying :/ poor kid

melissa saying “i cant stand a chid that’s sick” sounds so edited like the intonation made it seem to me like they just cut her off mid-sentence i love lifetime

oh this was still when they were wearing normal stuff to class/rehearsal like black leotards bc they werent getting sent a trillion crazy 2-piece dancewear outfits for free yet bc they werent famous, man those were the days

Act 2:

[obligatory b-roll footage of downtown pittsburgh]

the maddie chloe paige trio !!!! this is making me feel so nostalgic

“knees together, paige. you’re bow-legged, you need to fix that”

“you’re tall, you’re skinny, you’re a beautiful girl, you can do better than this. FOCUS” shes like 10 abby what the hell

“people think im tough and i guess i am but i would rather be the one to make your kid cry in the privacy of my studio than at an open-call audition in front of hundreds of people”

okay unpopular opinion alert: i agree with a lot of what abby says about stuff like this but her delivery is flawed, to but it euphemistically, that being said i think the production team of the show and the fame inflating her ego changed all of this somewhere over the course of the second season and its really sad to see :/ i can expand on that thought later tho

aw paige crying bc abby correcting her (but not saying anything personal or out of line, just technique corrections (at based on what we were shown, we dont know everything she said oop)) shes a sensitive kid she never should have been put on this show :(

paige looks exactly like her mom i didnt realize that before

nia and holly were done so dirty throughout the whole series in terms of the narrative the producers set up about nia being the weakest link :/

Act 3:

cathy’s entire involvement in the show from the very beginning was so painfully obviously scripted (or at least heavily staged)

vivi was also done dirty by the show’s narrative and she was only 6 and they presented her as like the butt of the joke bc her mom’s “character” was crazy and also she wasnt good at dance. i wonder how she feels about the show now that shes a teenager hmm. she really seemed not to give a fuck about dance for better or for worse when she was a kid tho so maybe she doesnt care ?

in what universe would an owner of another competitive dance studio bring her own kid to another studio more than an hour’s drive away, AND be under the impression that she could compete with them in a week, especially when they showed the kids’ and moms’ shocked reaction at the start of the episode to having to learn a dance in a week and compete it? like really what is the point of cathy and vivi being a part of this show im so ????

Act 4:

THE MINISTER DAWN OUTBURST HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS

this fight is about 50% of what got them a full season 1 and then things took off from there tbh. the other 50% was the electricity dance but thats a point for next episode..... :)

“you’re a minister act like one” “YOU’RE RIGHT I AM A MINISTER! LET’S PLAY THE BIBLE GAME ABBY, WHEN JESUS SAW THINGS THAT WERE WRONG HE WENT AFTER THEM, AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS TO MY KID” ma’am i think the wrongs jesus addressed were of slightly more importance than a preteen being told she cant take a dance class if shes violating the studio’s dress code

this is so good bc it wasnt staged afaik and there are regular students all throughout the building just STARING at them like lmao what even is going on, so im pretty sure this is real???

regardless, yeah dont wear socks and a tshirt to an acrobatics class, thats common fucking sense

another cameraman-in-mirror sighting, but its hard to think about angles when filming spontaneous drama like this, so i wont count it against them

“you called me fat” (i remember that being in the episode but thats not on the episode available through lifetime on demand that im watching from my moms tv hmmmmmm) “i told you to close and tuck in your two-piece costume, theres a big difference. HOW CAN YOU REMEMBER THAT BUT YOU CAN’T REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR FEET OUT” uh scream

she really called the police on this woman i cannot handle this. can you imagine being a police officer responding to this call?

“we have a parent thats out of control. pardon? no shes doesnt have weapons, just her mouth” iconic

im sorry im still not over the hair and makeup. the flat hair with the side bangs. the black pencil eyeliner applied all the way around the eye. why did any of us think this was a look :( why did we do this :(

Act 5:

they went all the way to phoenix to compete 3 numbers, only 2 of which are shown in the episode.

i think this is the only time they ever went to west coast dance explosion because its an actual competition and they wouldnt allow filming after this lol i think they did go to wcde one weekend in addition to a competition where they were filming but it wasnt shown or mentioned at all

abby not wanting brooke and paige to have a french manicure on stage if theyre the only ones in the group with the french tips is perfectly valid idk why it was framed as some crazy micromanaging shit

i also am really not a fan of the whole “high functioning alcoholic wine mom/crazy stage mom” schtick they were pushing for the first few episodes of this show

in retrospect i feel like so many of the quips in this episode were intentionally fucking crazy just to get the audience engaged enough to want to watch more episodes...

“see those girls down there, those girls with the legs? thats who you’re up against, so step it up”

abby warning them that its dangerous for their little party hats to slip when they’re doing aerials and pirouettes and stuff: “what if you were at radio city music hall and they had the ice rink out and you were doing a side aerial and fell 13 stories down and died, huh?” fantastic point abby thank you for saying that to 5 girls ages 8-12 less than 5 minutes before they went on stage. perfect time for a teaching moment like that :)

i forgot how bad the camera work was in the first few episodes for footage of their performances. like they really didnt think the show’s audience would actually want to watch the kids dance, the producers and editors thought we just wanted to see stage mothers yelling at each other lol

also the mic feed over the music of abby talking to herself giving them corrections while watching them dance on stage.... im so glad they quit doing that. i dont remember them doing it like that for any other episode, i hope im right

this choreo is very basic and its a cute dance i guess but its very cringe in some places and for the first episode this is such a forgettable group routine

their scandalized reaction to placing third and the sad piano music is so funny honestly

and maddies reaction in the interview which was almost definitely fed to her by the producers where shes like “i win all the time i dont really know what its like to LOSE i always win or get runner up” so many of maddies lines from season 1 interviews sound so fake and she was probably too naive to know they were getting her to say that stuff so they could paint her as a conceited brat (she was EIGHT)

the trio costume was so ugly im sorry (is it supposed to be like a 50s pinup bathing suit?) (and the headband thing looks so bad) and also the music is bad but they had no real authority over that bc of copyright stuff

chloe’s headpiece coming forward and the ensuing drama was another moment in the episode that really solidified public interest in the show imho....

“YOU’RE IN THE BAR HAVING A DRINK AND YOUR KID’S HEADPIECE IS FALLING OFF” “it did not FALL OFF it CAME FORWARD it was FINE!!!”

“mistakes happen, we’re human.” “YOU are. mistakes like that dont happen to me”

and then the “next time on dance moms” with the WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE electricity dance, of course. genuinely that was really smart of the producers in terms of structuring things to generate intrigue lol. and obviously it ended up working....

#dance moms #s1e1 #season 1

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beautifulblhell · 5 years

Text

Welcome Home Ch1

Finder Fanfic: Asami x Akihito

Summary: Akihito is living with Asami, yet he refuses to say "Welcome Home" to Asami. Will Asami be able to get Akihito to welcome him home, or will danger take Akihito away first?

0 1:36am

A black silhouette was pacing backwards and forwards like a caged animal in front of the entrance of an abandoned warehouse. Every so often, the shadow would jerk its head towards any sound coming from nearby, standing still, but after realizing it is not the sound that it is after, it would resume its pacing. Soon the silence was broken by a distance sound of two engines. The shadow paused once more, head cocked to the side, and listened. When it realized the sounds were getting closer, it hurried towards the entrance of the warehouse, and nonchalantly leaned against the decrepit frame.

The sound of the cars grew louder and louder until two pairs of headlights swerved from the side of the building and turned towards the entrance. Bright lights illuminated the black figure, revealing a tall man clad in a long black coat and hat. It was impossible to tell where his body and shadow separated, as if they were one. The tall man didn’t move a muscle as the cars came to a stop a short distance away from him, but the dark glitteringorbs beneath the hat followed the cars’ every movement without blinking.

As the sounds of the automobiles cut off, the second car’s doors opened, and a small army of bodyguards spilled out, surrounding the first car, guarding whoever is inside. Then, the driver’s door of the first car opened, and a huge man stepped out. Dressed in a black suit and a pair of sunglasses like the rest of the bodyguard army, he went around the car and opened the passenger door and remained bowed as he waited. Waited for his superior, his boss, the person that could end his life with a single gesture, to come out.

A man stepped - no, it was more accurate to say that he squeezed with all his might against the car’s door frame, then, with a pop, he was free and rolled forward, his flock of bodyguards surround ing him instantly. How so many bodyguards fitted into one car will forever be a mystery.

Donning a bright purple suit, the ball of a man tottered forward, breathing heavily. The fabric around his waist stretched alarmingly, threatening to tear open any second. A striped gold and red tie were tied under his green shirt collar. Without the tie one would have trouble telling that he possessed a neck. The shoes were a maroon colour, polished until it reflected the huge balloon stomach. Every short, pudgy finger was adorned with a least one flashy diamond ring. The authenticity of the diamonds ha s yet to be confirmed. The fat around his face seemed to fold down and hide his little eyes, though there was a gleam that indicated where his eyes were. His mouth opened, showing two rows of yellow teeth, with the occasional gold teeth. T he nose was crooked, giving the impression that it had been broken too many times. Maybe he used to play sumo, or maybe he really annoyed someone and they bashed his face repeatedly against a wall. He took out a handkerchief and wiped the beads of sweat rolling down his shiny forehead. While wiping near his hairline, his whole hair moved backwards, showing more forehead.

Mr Shadow strode forward to greet Mr Gaudy, bowing slightly, but jerked upright again, as if afraid to keep his eyes away from the small army before him. Mr Gaudy seemed pleased with this, and stood even straighter, pulled his head back and proceeded to look down on Mr Shadow, which was quite hard since he was at least four heads shorter. Mr Shadow held out the briefcase he was carrying, opened it and showed the contents to Mr Gaudy. Mr Bodyguard turned on a flashlight he magically had with him while his boss inspected the goods. Mr Gaudy was obviously satisfied, and he smiled, opening wide his mouth, his fake gold teeth flashed, reflecting the light from the torch. Motioning with his hands, Mr Bodyguard No. 2 stepped out and held out a thick A4 envelope. Mr Shadow handed over the briefcase and accepted the envelope and peered inside quickly, but decided it was too dangerous to stay to check, hurriedly bade Mr Gaudy farewell and slithered back into the shadows. Mr Gaudy soon disappeared into his car and drove away.

Unbeknownst to them, their secret rendezvous was all captured through a viewfinder...

“Hmph, amateurs.” The photographers muttered. “ Hewould never do something this easily to be caught.” Only the wind caught his words, carrying and dissipating them into the darkness.

************************************************************

~ The next day ~

“Hahaha!” The Chief Editor ’s booming laughter echoed throughout the whole editorial department.

“ Hmph , we all know why he is so happy,” Mitari , a fellow journalist, grumbled, and took a swing of his canned coffee.

“Why are you sucking on lemons so early in the morning, Mitari ?” A cheerful voice rang out. A hand clapped on Mitari’s back, which caught him in surprise and made him choke on the coffee.

“Ew, gross, I just saw coffee spurting out of your nostril s. Ahh, I should have taken a picture, could have been another headline photo for me then.” The mop of blond hair shook in fake sadness, while there was no masking in the cheeking grin.

“Don’t get such a big head just because the Editor likes your picture, newbie.” Mitari barked.

“Yeah, yeah. Mr Old Timer.” The blond smiled goofily and headed towards the Chief’s office. “We will sit tight on our ass all day and wait for the gold mountain to fall onto our head, shall we? Except we might be smashed to death. Urgh.” He pretended to shudder at that thought. “Though that might do wonders to your face. Maybe it will smash a permanently smile on your face?” He smiled innocently towards the veteran journalist.

“Maybe I will smash your face inwards if you don’t stop annoying me.” Mitari growled, which just earned a laugh from Akihito as he opened the door and disappeared into the office.

“Hmph, we will see how long that bravado of his lasts.”

“ Haha , give him a break. Not many youngsters these days shows guts like him, right?” Another fellow journalist laughed and tried to pacify Mitari .

The photo that Akihito took was indeed good: the angle, the clarity. Mr Gaudy, the politician that had been captured by Akihito’s viewfinder, will definitely be working at McDonald’s at the end of the day, if they were desperately short of staff. Or maybe at a street food vendor. Mr Shadow, the drug dealer, no doubt got in trouble with his own boss, stealing and reselling drugs that belonged to his boss. The normal punishment would be cutting of his little finger , present it to the boss and be banished, but Akihito reckoned that the fish tonight in Tokyo Bay will end up with a feast.

Despite being happy that his photo ended up on the frontpage news, Akihito was aware that just because of this once doesn’t mean that he could take it easy. The other journalists would certainly try and surpass him. But maybe he could just celebrate today as he got extra pay since the Chief was feeling generous (the Chief had not been a fan of Mr Gaudy). But even though he got quite a lot, he could never compare to him. This was probably no more than a tip he leaves in those fancy-ass restaurants.

Akihito strolled out of the building, humming, spirits high. Maybe he could afford to splash out, buy some premium Wagyu beef for Shabu-shabu hot pot tonight. Just thinking about it made his mouth water, and his feet naturally made him walk faster towards the fancier supermarket, which sells the Wagyu beef that he eats. Just. No way was Akihito going to that super fancy shop that sells Wagyu beef a thousand times more expensive than normal wagyu beef. What made them so different? Does the shop wrap them in thin sheets of gold and sprinkling some truffles? With a giant diamond studded on top? After all, Wagyu beef was already expensive enough and if he wasn’t going to eat any then damn him, Akihito will eat all of it. Totally not why his purse refuses to allow him to go there. Anyway, he already looks out of place in here, where the slightly more ‘upscale’ housewife shops and gossip about whose wrinkle grew deeper by 1 picometre and whose pimple grew bigger by 1 nanometre.

Parking his vespa at the parking spot next to a shiny black BMW (Akihito had to resist the urge to bump slightly against the car to scratch its shiny new surface), he took off his helmet, sucked a big breath, and speed walked towards the entrance. Giving a quick nod to the salesperson who welcomed him, he grabbed a basket and proceeded to grab his shopping in record speed. Akihito had already memorized the whole layout of the shop so he doesn’t need to waste time trying to locatewhere something is, and, even worse, ask a salesperson in those fancy suits for help . Pray God that they don’t change the layout anytime soon.

Udon , check. Cabbage, check. Tofu, check. Kombu, check. Premium Wagyu beef, Akihito winced at the price, check. Enoki mushroom, check. Shimeji mushroom, check. Aaaaaand , Akihito grinned evilly, shitake mushroom, check. Fresh shitake mushrooms, since they got way more flavour than dried shitake mushrooms. He wondered what people would think that he wouldn’t eat a simple thing such as shitake mushroom. Akihito laughed inwardly, and realized that he was smiling when the housewives were doing the whole staring-whispering thing at him. Akihito couldn’t care any less at this point, already coming up with fifty ways of hiding the shitake mushroom. Maybe wrapping them inside the wagyu beef? Chopping them up to atomic size and blend them into the soup?

At the cashier, the final amount made Akihito gulp and he made a quick prayer to whatever d ei ty that was listening to him that his card wouldn’t be declined, then remembered that he got extra pay today so he definitely had enough. Akihito gingerly picked up the receipt, glanced at it to make sure that they didn’t charge anything extra (refusing to look at the final amount), then quickly scrunched it up into a ball and chucked it into the nearest bin. Stuffing his groceries into his Vespa, he opened up his phone.

To: Ultimate Final Boss

: Shabu-shabu hot pot 4 2nit. Be on time. Or beef will be all mine mwahaha

To: Glasses-san

: Make sure the evil warlord is back early from his conquer 2nite. Cheers Glasses- chan

Strapping his helmet on, he zoomed across the roads, finally arriving at the condo, and parked his vespa in the underground parking space. With his shopping in hand, Akihito stepped into the elevator and rode to the top floor.

With a ping, the elevator arrived at the penthouse level, and Akihito carried the bags out, shuffling all the bags into one hand, while the other hand dug into his pocket to fish out his key, or his spare key, to be precise, and unlocked the door.

A gust of cool air greeted him when he flung open the door. Placing his shoes at the genkan, he put the bags down and stretched, arms raised above his head, letting the cold air wash over him. How lucky one is to have working air conditioning, especially during the summer, and to be able to leave the air con on while no one is home, Akihito shook his head, grabbed the bags and headed towards the kitchen.

By now, the kitchen was overflowing with Akihito’s presence. A whole cupboard with double doors was dedicated to Akihito’s snacks. The fridge was stacked full of vegetables of all different sorts of colour. Pots and pans of different sizes were laid out on the counter to dry.

Akihito changed his clothes, put on an apron, andproceeding to make a feast.

*********************************************************************

Akihito had just finished setting up the table for Shabu-shabu when suddenly a pair of steel arms wrapped around him from behind, caging him.

“Woah!” The plate of sliced Wagyu beef nearly went flying. “Jeez! If they had fallen on to the floor, we would still have to eat it! Damn, that’s half my salary in there.” Akihito grumbled.

Before he had time to say anything else, a hand snaked around to his face to turn his head to the side , and a pair of scorching lips crashed against his.

“ Mm m , wait.” He gasped. Before he had time to protest, a burning hot tongue invaded his mouth, twisting and sucking his tongue, and the hand on the back of his head pushed him firmly against him.

His smell filled his nose, the smell of a faint cologne and Dunhill smoke.

Akihito’s brain stopped working. The world seemed to rev olve around him . Or maybe it did. Maybe all the stars and planets did orbit around him . Akihito wouldn’t be surprised if they actually did.

Asami Ryuichi.

Chiselled jaws that even Zeus would be jealous at. Raven black hair that had slipped from its place and had fallen onto his eyes. Smouldering gold orbs stared deeply into his eyes, as if they could see Akihito’s soul. Akihito trembled slightly, enjoying the gaze that never failed to make him shiver in excitement.

“Hmm.” Asami’s lips tug ged upwards slightly, and his thumb gently caressed Akihito’s lips.

“W-what were you thinking?” Akihito pretend to fume, desperat e ly trying to cool his flam ing cheeks.

“That your glistening lips look very delectable right now , h ow can I hold myself back?” Asami smirked, and inched his face closer to Akihito’s.

“Wait!” A hand slapped across Asami’s mouth. “I’ve got Wagyu beef!”

Asami’s eyebrows quirked upwards. Then a devilish smirk appeared on his face. He tongue flickered across Akihito’s palms, and bi t them slightly.

“B-Baka! Stop it! Otherwise I will only allow you to watch me eat the beef!” Akihito desperately tried to pull his hand back.

Asami’s hand caught Akihito’s wrist and wrapped his tongue around Akihito’s forefinger.

“Hmm, I hope that you will satisfy my hunger?” Asami leaned in and whispered seductively into Akihito’s ears, his teeth graz ed against the younger man’s earlobe.

“Ahh, you bastard.” Akihito moaned, finally resigning himself and pushed his chest toward Asami, wanting more contact.

To his surprise, Asami pulled back, grinning evil l y.

“What?”

“Fufu, I quite like this hungry look on your face.”

“Twisted bastard.” Akihito grumbled, shoving Asami away from him so the yakuza couldn’t see how red his face had become.

He quickly grabbed the plates that were filled with meats and chopped vegetables and set up the table, all the while muttering curses under his breath, and throwing scowls at the older man. Once everything was set, he threw himself across the table, a rms crossed against his chest, looking warily at the man opposite him. Asami had changed into a simple white shirt, buttons undone at the top, showing his muscular chest. Akihito quickly adverted his eyes as Asami smirked at him, noticing what he was staring at.

“You are late.”

“I tried to come home as soon as I can.” Asami opened a can of imported beer, tilted his head back and took a gulp. Akihito couldn’t help noticing the condensation from the can dripping down from Asami throat before slowly making its way to his chest. Akihito swallowed noisily and teared his eyes away before he gets too turned on.

“That doesn’t make it okay for you to be late. And you are late by a whole hour. I should have eaten all the beef myself.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Maybe I should have.”

“By the way, where’s my welcome home?” Asami tilted his head to the side , staring at Akihito.

“...”

“Shut up, you arrogant bastard, I'm not your wife. I’m going to start to eat . Itadakimasu ” Akihito snatched up a piece of Wagyu beef and put it in the pot, swishing it around and shoved it in his mouth, wishing that the smirk on Asami’s face didn’t make the bastard so sexy. No, EVERYTHING the man does make him look like some kind of god. Every male on the planet will feel inferior when being compared to Asami. Probably even the way that he accidentally trips would look graceful, though Akihito highly doubt that will happen, Mr Glasses Secretary always makes sure that nothing comes to harm his boss.

By the time they were finished, the sky ha d become completely dark . Akihito leaned back, and patted his full stomach.

“Ahh, I can’t eat any more.” He groaned and looked over at the man across him . A small pile of mushrooms was at the corner of his bowl. Asami noticed that Akihito was looking at his bowl and smirked.

“It doesn’t matter how small you cut them up, I can always pick them out.”

“Only pre-schoolers are picky about their food.” Akihito stuck out his tongue at him. “That was so good.”

“The quality of the beef wasn’t that good.”

“Insufferable rich bastard.”

Asami stood up and opened the doors for the balcony, gazing outside. Akihito soon stood next to him.

“Here.”

A look of surprise passed Asami’s face as he realized what Akihito was holding.

Akihito shrugged.

“Figured you might need it.”

Asami took the box of his Dunhill cigarettes and the lighter, smiling slightly.

“Here.”

Asami he ld out a small white box. Akihito’s eyes widened at the sight of the logo on the box.

“Isn’t this from the really famous bakery shop that you have to reserve months ahead for a seat and it’s nearly impossible to buy a cake from the shop as the line is hours long and by the time you are at the front everything is already sold out? How did you get this? Did you know that I always wanted to taste this?” Akihito gabled, raising up the box gingerly , looking at it in awe.

“Of course I knew, since a certain brat wouldn’t stop talking about it for days.”

“Oh.” Akihito mumbled. It was true. When the first time he saw on the news that the shop was open, he knew that he wanted to try their cakes. Everything looked so good and amazing, but it was virtually impossible to get a seat. Either you wait ed for months or you knew the owner of the bakery. Or if your name was Asami Ryuichi.

“So ...what’s the occasion?”

Asami tilted his head. “No reason. The owners wanted me to taste it. I thought they might suit someone else better.”

“ Haha , they should have known better than to feed you sweets.”

Akihito opened the box carefully. Nestled inside were a Mont Blanc cake, a slice of cotton cheesecake and strawberry shortcake. All his favourites. He didn’t know what to say. He knew that Asami didn’t like sweet things, but he remembered all of Akihito’s favourites.

“Oh.”

Probably an understatement, but that’s all his brain could think up of.

Asami clearly thought so too, and arched one of his eyebrows , amused.

But Akihito couldn’t care less right now. He wasted no time before taking a huge bite of the cake and moaned, closing his eyes. “Dis iz zooooo guut”

“I don’t understand what you are trying to say.”

Akihito poked his tongue out at the older man, and took another great mouthful. “ Seriously. Amazing. I think I just saw heaven. You sure you don’t want a bite?”

“Hmm, maybe I will.”

Before he could utter another word, Akihito’s head was tilted back, and a mouth crushed against his fervently, taking his breath away.

Asami pulled back and licked his lips, staring hungrily at Akihito, “Not bad. But I wouldn’t compare this with heaven. Maybe I should show you what heaven really feels like.” He then swooped down to claim the photographer’s lips again. The kiss burned Akihito’s lips, and the heat spread throughout his whole body. His whole being ached for Asami. He twisted his hands around Asami’s neck, pulling them closer. His mouth pressing equally passionately to Asami’s, tasting him

Without breaking their kiss, Asami scooped Akihito up and carried him to their bedroom, the box of cakes lay long forgotten on the table.

********************************************************************************

It was late at night, just before dawn, the darkest time of the day, when Asami’s phone beeped quietly once. The screen flickered to life, its bluish light lit up the ceiling eerily, casting a small, faint blue circle on the ceiling. The light made the shadows more prominent, darker, before disappearing. Asami’s eyes snapped open, and turned his head to look towards Akihito, who was lying across his arms, fast asleep. Gently, he cupped the latter man’s face, slid his arm out and lowered Akihito’s head into the pillow. Standing swiftly and silently, he took a nearby bathrobe, wrapped it loosely around himself, grabbed his phone and left the bedroom. The door closed with a soft click.

“ Kirishima .” Asami’s voiced was clipped. He wasn’t happy to be woken up in the middle of the night.

“Asami-sama, forgive me for waking you up at this hour, but I do believe that you need to hear this as soon as possible.”

“What is it?” The pair of g olden eyes narrowed slightlybefore he poured himself a tumbler of whiskey without ice, and gulped down a mouthful. The alcohol burn t his throat, and cleared his head.

Kirishima could hear the displeasure in his boss’s voice, but he knew that his boss would prefer to hear about this as soon as possible. He coughed slightly before resuming. “I believe that we found someone suspicious sniffing around asking about Takaba. The information was all varying. We would need time to confirm who it is, but judging from the amount of work done, it seems to be either a very talented individual or a very small group of people. Their intentions are still unknown at this point, but I thought it would be better to inform you.”

“Arrange someone to guard Akihito 24/7, but do it discretely, don’t let him or anyone else notice them. Keep me updated.”

“Hai. Goodnight, Asami- sama .”

The phone beeped, signalling the end of the cal l. Asami raised the tumbler to his lips, but decided against it. His eyebrows furrowe d, and his eyes flashed dangerously. Someone got a death wish.

Asami returned to the bedroom quietly. Akihito has sprawled across the bed, arms and legs everywhere, with the duvet twisted around him. A small smile graced upon his face, before his face hardened again. He would sort everything out in the morning. He gently untangled the limbs and duvet, covering Akihito with the blanket, before slipping into the space next to the younger man. Akihito mumbled something about can’t any more, and turned towards Asami. His even breathing was the only sound in the silent room.

***************************************************************************

*The Next Day*

Akihito was coming out of the underground parking on his vespa. He had just finished making breakfast when he got a text about a job. He had left the breakfast(traditional Japanese breakfast that the yakuza likes) on the table for Asami , who was still asleep. The sun shone upon him, and the wind blew against his hair that had escaped from his helmet. He clicked the indicator for his right lights, and was ready to turn onto the main road, when suddenly he felt a chill down his spine. He quickly stopped and looked around, but nothing looked out of place. He frowned slightly, but shrugged and decided that maybe he was getting a cold or something, and drove the vespa down the road.

The shadow in the alley stared a t the road after the photographer had long gone.

“ Takaba Akihito.” The voice hissed, dripp ing with venom and pure hatred, as if the words itself was acid that burnt his mouth. Then, he took a step back and melted into the shadows.

#asami ryuichi #takaba akihito #finder series #yaoi #yaoi fanfiction #BeautifulOtomeHell fanfic

3 notes · View notes

chmpn-remix · 5 years

Text

Big bts medieval AU

god okay FINE I'm posting it here because I'm so tired of sending screenshots 😭😭

[[MORE]]

namjoon: son of one of the king's subjects, young genius military general

tae: crown prince, protected and educated

jin: son of the kingsguard or st, tae's tutor

hobi: son of someone important in the court, eventually hand of the king

jungkook: (some gendry baratheon esque origin story?), just a stable boy/blacksmith who becomes friends with them and maybe eventually becomes Important

jimin: prince from another kingdom, v hot

yoongi: thief/rebel/hitman, v close friends with jk

• tae has three childhood friends: namjoon, hobi, and jin

• they play together a lot and when they get old enough for riding lessons they get to know and play with jungkook too, the stable boy's tiny son

• everything is very cute, childhood friends in the palace, they get into mischief, they gotta save baby jk out of trouble sometimes or st

• when they hit early teens they start training for different things. tae is a prince and he hates the weapon practice (he's a little better with a bow and arrow but his dad insists on him learning the sword), he also learns about history and diplomacy from jin (who becomes his tutor), and strategy from jin and also namjoon, who's getting more weapons and strategy training from jin's dad the head of the kingsguard (sometimes he just hangs around during the history lessons too bc he's fascinated)

• hmmm during this time joon may or may not have a crush on seokjin :0 he's older and smart and sociable okay

• hobi and jin have a thing for helping out/hanging around the kitchens sometimes, more than the others

• hobi drops by the lessons sometimes too, hes the best archer out of all of them, he's super charismatic and friendly and he ends up getting trained as the future hand of the king (he can also usually talk his way out of any trouble pfft)

• so their early/mid-teens happen and it gets even harder to hang out/get playtime

• yes yes jin starts looking a bit more mature and is cute, namjoon and hobi have stupid crushes on him and tae notices but rolls his eyes and doesnt say anything

• and then, One summer, namjoon starts training in swordfighting more intensively and puberty hits him like a brick wall

• everyone, even tae, was kinda lowkey thirstin

• they once watched namjoon train (jin was rarely out in the training field bc he's gonna be a scholar not a fighter, so he's like gulps waow he looks good, hobi is staring at joon's muscles, tae was like okay maybe I do like boys too cool that's convenient bc in this universe alliances can also be made with same sex marriage, even jk is like wow namjoon hyung ur so strong!! with big googly eyes)

• hobi whistles and namjoon fumbles with his practice sword and drops it LMAO and they're like yep there's the namjoon we know moment's over

• and then they just all go Thru it ykno puberty is a thing. hobi gets more beautiful, tae is still gangly/short and his face is somehow too long and small at the same time and he thinks he still looks basically the same as when he was 10 (he complains about it to himself)

• tae doesnt mind the lessons with jin, hates the weapons practice, but honestly what he loves the most is drawing. he has drawings of his friends, drawings of them just chilling, drawings of hobi and joon training (hobi looks so graceful 🥺), but his favorite is just sitting on a mound of hay at the stables and drawing jungkook while jungkook goes around doing stable boy work

• tae doesnt know when it happens, but jk also hits puberty and he realizes that when he's shading in jk's shoulder muscles and biceps and he internally goes "wow, he's attractive" "wow, I like jungkook"

• "oh no, I like the stable boy"

• tae avoided the stables for a like a week while he tried to process his feelings but things go back to normal eventually. jk was sad but he's sure prince taehyung has a lot of stuff on his hands

• the first time tae comes back jk addresses him formally and tae was taken aback like why are u calling me your grace?? we're really good friends? jk shrugs and goes "I can go back to calling you taehyung" "please" and everything mostly goes back to normal after that. tae hides his feelings to be processed another day, or to just go away. he's destined to be betrothed to another prince anyways

• they start turning 18 and they start doing actual jobs in the castle. joon proved himself to be super smart and he's been promoted to a junior advisor to the military general/kingsguard commander person

• jin becomes a full time scholar and hangs out at the library. sometimes namjoon comes in and borrows books and he's still flustered around jin even though they've known each other their whole life

• hobi is THE best event planner and also micromanages everything else as the hand of the king, also works closely with tae about events and balls and council meetings, which tae attends more and more as his 18th birthday draws near and he'll be expected to start making actual decisions and be an official member

• tae is a little intimidated by how good hobi is getting at micromanaging the kingdom and sometimes thinks hobi would make a better ruler instead :(

• the summer before tae turns 18 jungkook goes away for the summer to idk take care of his sick grandma at the countryside or st, tae is grumpy and he could easily arrange for kook's grandma to be brought to the castle and taken care of by handmaids and stuff but that's cheating (a big theme for this fic is maybe even though tae is maybe the next in line for most powerful person he still feels trapped and limited by his position)

• anyways while jungkook was away that's when he meets yoongi, may have dabbled in a bit of Anarchism™️ with him idek

• in the fall JK comes back and is HOTTER than ever and tae is STILL so damn gay for him and something's changed like...there's more tension between the two of them when they see each other but they barely do throughout the fall because tae is so busy with castle responsibilities now with his 18th birthday happening so soon

• tae turns 18 and hobi arranges for him to meet his betrothed, the prince from another kingdom who tae has to marry for alliance purposes

• he's managed to squash his feelings for jungkook but he still draws, he has like a sketchbook full of drawings of him akdjdk at one point jungkook asks "are all your drawings of me, hyung?" in a light but lowkey flirty tone and tae just deadpans "sometimes I draw the horses, or the hay"

• anyways, prince jimin will be staying at tae's family castle for the year as the two get to know each other better

• jimin looks HELLA ethereal and light and tae is INTIMIDATED he makes a fool out of himself trying to be too formal or official or whatever and jimin just laughs (lightly, like flower petals) and tells tae to chill, it's okay

• they talk about the little things like the climate and the food and hobbies etc

• jimin is v friendly and charismatic and half of it is for show but not in a bad way. he knows how to play the crowd and play the flirty charismatic prince, but deep inside he's sad that he's trapped in this life and sometimes thinks about flying away to another life

• there's not really any romantic chemistry between vmin but one day they were just chatting in tae's room when jimin suddenly? kisses him?? Tae is SHOCKED his hands are over his mouth touching his lips like oh god...that was my first kiss....and his stomach turns because it wasn't with jungkook

• jimin is profusely apologizing and freaking out a bit like "I'm sorry, I've never been betrothed before, idk what I'm doing I thought it would be good to try? to see if we work? like that?? I just want to make this work" and they figure out that jimin kissed tae bc he felt like he had to :( they figure out that they dont really have any romantic feelings for each other but that's okay they respect and appreciate each other a lot! (jimin may or may not know about tae's crush, maybe just that there's someone out there he likes, and jimin is in love with freedom but can never have it) ("what about you?" "Me?" Jimin gave a knowing while, his answer ready. "I'm in love with open doors and fields stretched out for miles. I'm in love with the stars and the infinite mysteries they hold." "Are you always this grossly poetic?" Jimin just laughs and shoves tae lightly.)

• anyways vmin bffs!! they chill and they remain platonic, because tae is still so so gay for jungkook

• especially now that his baby fat is starting to go away and his features are getting sharper, his muscles even MORE defined how is that possible

• tae is doing a p good job of looking more mature too he's starting to fill out his gangly body more, his face less childish and more "regal," as jungkook describes one day

• jk totally has an Oh moment too like "I never noticed your face" "what about my face" "it's so...it's a prince's face" "...what's that supposed to mean"

• they ride together sometimes and one day when the castle responsibilities are too much tae grabs a basket of food and drink from the kitchens, rides out somewhere to the meadows with jungkook and has a picnic with him

• they've snuck food out and hung out before but this time it felt a little different on the way back like they're both like it's time to go and jungkook grabs the harness/leash for the horses and leads tae's horse to him and they just share a look, both of their hands touching the leather strap of the harness

• nothing happens they get to the castle and that night tae DOESNT think about how he shouldve kissed jk right there and DOESNT think about jungkook's big defined muscles holding him down

• YOONGI IS SUPPOSED TO KIDNAP TAE FOR RANSOM TO FEED HIS TOWN/FAMILY BUT ACCIDENTALLY TAKES JIMIN INSTEAD

• jk: the prince is very beautiful

yg: [sees jimin and thinks it's tae] yes, very beautiful

• yoonmin have heated/enlightening discussions about Government. hot.

• yoongi is angry at the noble class for hoarding all the resources. jimin reasons that they give fairly. yoongi complains about his family/town starving in the streets etc more medieval government discourse

• jimin is the trapped bird in a cage and sees yoongi as the Freedom and adventure that he wants. yoongi was supposed to complete a mission but he falls for jimin instead

• (jk has to be promoted somehow so he can look nice and be in the castle akdjd) (and be promoted so tae can acceptably smooch him) - JK SAVES TAE from somethinG like he brought tae home on horseback and then gets appointed as tae's personal escort/bodyguard

• BEFORE I FORGET taekook kiss eventually and of course it happens in the stables and right after the first kiss jk leads him to like behind this post or st so passersby cant see them immediately and they kiss more and in between jk just chuckles/laughs and tae is like :(?? what and jk is like nothing its just that I've seen you trip over [the hay? the fences?] so many times in here and tae is like >:(( are u gonna reminisce about our childhood or keep making out with me

There was an ending here but I think it's in my other doc skdjsk ah well you'll just have to deal with this :)

#AU idea

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migleefulmoments · 5 years

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C(r)abby-isms #1

Today we will look at the fine, fine work of Dr. Cassie and Dr. Abby who wrote a research paper discussing the feminism and female body image. It’s a stunning piece of work by team C(r)abby:

Anonymous asked:

I really don’t get the constant manipulation of pics. Isn’t the whole point for M to be recognized? I remember when I first met D I was surprised at how tiny he was —-even though he made it WELL known that he was “pint size”. I understand that we all have egos but this goes beyond that. To even distort the the images of people around you to improve your appearance? If she wanted a tall man beside her she should have married one. Thoughts? (Here we have a stunning, outside-the-box problem solving right here; If Mia is going to obsessed about Darren’s height, she should have chose a partner based solely on his longitude. Just imagine how much easier dating would be if we simply chose ONE physical characteristic and only dated people who met that criteria.)

Dr. Cassie @cassie1022 answered:

Nonnie, the constant exposure is absolutely to get little miss “I never wanted to be associated with someone famous” recognized. (Dr. Cassie points out that in 2016, Mia gave an interview in which she spoke about dating someone famous and how social media impacts her. Dr. Cassie has consistently misquoted her. Mia did not say she “never wanted to be associated with someone famous”, she said “Being closely associated with someone in the public eye—which was never something I really wanted or thought I would be—it wasn’t a predicament I thought I would find myself in.” In other words, falling in love with a celebrity wasn’t something she sought out or imagined for herself before Darren was on Glee.The ccers have long used this interview to hurl insults at Mia by misconstruing the context and meaning of this statement and insinuating she should have simply broke up with Darren rather than learn to cope with cyberbullies like Dr. C(r)abby). The distortion of the people in pics with her is shining a GIANT spotlight on her lack of confidence in her appearance. (Since you have not established that in fact Mia IS altering photos to make herself appear shorter (such a weird thing to do), the only spotlight it is shining is the one on how you, Dr. Cassie, are a misogynistic bully. Like all good gaslighters, you and Dr. Abby simply repeat this lie over and over until the fandom believes that Mia is photoshopping photos of Darren). She’s physically attractive (She’s drop-dead gorgeous). She has no reason to constantly change things. (you haven’t proved that she has in fact changed anyone’s image but one could argue that the reason would be that she is fat shamed by Darren fans). The thing about D is, he’s not that short but he’s super tiny (no, he isn’t “tiny” he is actually of average height and he has a perfectly normal BMI). He embraces it. I’m sure he’d like to be a little taller (really? why are you “Sure”? that is pure speculation on your part based on your own stereotypical biases), but he knows what he is and he’s comfortable in his own skin (you don’t know that), for the most part.M clearly isn’t. As for M making him taller and making herself look thinner, well, it just shows how unhappy with herself she is (you are literally body shaming her AND criticizing her for feeling self-conscious for being publicly body shamed AND dismissing the role you are playing in the body shaming. THIS IS the epitome of misogyny! THIS is so harmful to young women. I can’t...). She could marry a man taller than her if that’s what she wants (besides the obvious- you made up this entire trope about her height issues- healthy, self -actualized adult humans actually chose their life-mate for a variety of reasons- they don’t chose based on 1 single, superficial physical characteristics). She wants to make D suffer more, and that’s twisted (She makes Darren suffer more?!!!!???? Hahahaha...omg...what? Please explain how exactly is Darren suffering? Even if you are correct and she hates that he isn’t quite tall enough, how does altering a photo actually making Darren suffer? That is so stupid I can’t believe you wrote that, Dr. Cassie).

Dr. Abby @ajw720 added:

My opinion, she clearly hates her appearance, (well Dr. Abby, since you wrote the trope, we would expect nothing less.... however it is a huge leap in logic and one you cannot make based on the evidence you have provided-at least you did label it as “my opinion” because that is all it is) otherwise it is not necessary (again you bully and body-shame her and then claim any concerns she may have are invalid- pretty gross and misogynistic) So instead of being a strong and proud woman, the definition of feminism (but is it really the definition of feminism? nope, no it is not fem·i·nism: the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes; feminism noun fem·i·nism | \ ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm 1: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes 2: organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests) who maybe thinks she has flaws but embraces them,(like you do Abby?) she is anything but (so according to Abby, a feminist is a woman who is strong and proud with flaws she embraces-not the definition of “feminism” and men and be feminists), and instead she has reduced herself to having to fit into a ridiculous stereotype (you call it a “ridiculous stereotype” and yet you have called her “big boned” and claimed she isn’t thin enough to wear a strappy gown) if being a tiny woman that fits in a size 0 (hmmm.. from what I can see the only person reducing Mia to a “ridiculous stereotype of being a tiny woman” is YOU, Dr. Abs. You also refer to yourself as “tiny AF”). Really sad (Yep, you are really sad).

Even sadder? (tell us!) Those young impressionable woman that think she is super feminist and a role model, now all think they have to be super skinny to achieve this, not because she is a size 0, but because she photoshops herself in every damn photo to have that appearance instead of embracing her body. (Wait wait wait....let me make sure I understand this, Dr. Abby- you’re demonizing Mia for a theory you fabricated about her hating her own body so much that she photoshops her husband to be taller than her (He already is taller than her) and You are not upset that we live in a fat-shaming society which pressures women and girls to be skinny or that Darren’s fans bully Mia over her body size, her hygiene, and her style ? Nooooooo, you’re upset that girls and women look up to Mia and the crime is that she might be both self-conscious about her body AND a feminist at the same time? That is what you really believe is “sadder”? First of all, once again, you do not understand the definition of “feminist”-and I know you have been schooled on it many times. A feminist is NOT a “strong and proud women” who never suffers from self esteem issue, you twit. A feminist is someone who believes in equality of the sexes. What I find “sadder” is that you mislead young girls and women about what a feminist is by repeating the same misogynistic tropes spread by the patriarchy. I find it “sadder” that women who follow you learn that strippers contaminate where they sit with their dirty, drippy vaginas (whereas singers standing on the same surface with or without shoes hasn’t even made you blink)). Yet we are the ones who are body shaming…..(stating that Mia is “big boned” and “too big for that gown” and criticizing her hygiene does in fact make you the one doing the body shaming-it is the very definition of body shaming)

As we have said before, D is tiny, (yes, you keep repeating that...why is that Abby? What about him being tiny gets you off?) he makes nearly every adult human look large in comparison (well there are a lot of adult humans who are his size including his wife) if that makes her uncomfortable, here is a novel idea, stop holding herself out as his plus 1 (also fake) and i don’t know, the world see her with her actual man who happens to be tall.(once again you’ve written an entire backstory with motivation, feelings and motivation behind a photo that doesn’t hold up to scrutiny. It’s all YOUR fantasy Abby and what you WANT to believe is true; her actual man is Darren Criss. They got married on February 16, 2019. You might remember the night.).

#ccer #ccers #cc fandom #cc #cc family #cc fan #cc blog #crisscolfer #darren criss #mia Swier #mia criss #Abby-ism #C(r)abby-ism

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