#makes me angry chat. why cant my school just let me play on my phone all day. /joking

[dove-skulls]

grrrrr cant create my new dev logs blog until lunch so I'm angry

[willddheartt]

26 Days | Wilbur Soot

30 days to fall in love with someone? Sounds easy right? It would be if that person wasn’t so unbelievably annoying in almost every sense.

You’re not sure how you found yourself in this situation, but you were positive there was no backing out now…

Series Warnings: Mostly fluff and angst, and a very poorly constructed enemies to lovers plot.

Word Count: 2264

Masterlist Series Masterlist

26 Days

God, you hated him so much! You wanted to scream it from the top of a building how much you truly hated Wilbur. But you couldn’t

Lately, no matter what you did or said on stream, he always had a problem with it. You had been streaming Minecraft together, on the SMP. You were just messing around, no lore this time. You suggested you made a house together in L’manburg, no matter what you did, the two of you couldn't agree on a material, you wanted to build it out of birch wood and cobblestone but he insisted on dark oak logs and spruce planks would look better together. You gave up and let him have what he wanted because he was so persistent and you knew had it gone on you would have blown up on him in front of all your viewers, and that’s the last thing you needed right now. 

You were up late, last night, planning out when you were going to meet up, and just a few hours ago the two of you got along perfectly. Laughing over the phone as you were laying in bed, chatting mindlessly. You wondered what happened between then and now.  You and Will planned to meet up in the middle of next week, you were going to drive down to see him and stay at his place. Although you brought up getting a hotel room, Wilbur insisted you stay with him, too tired to resist you agreed, but now you're starting to think maybe getting a hotel room might be for the best. 

You and Wilbur ended your streams at the same time, and you sighed as soon as you were sure it was off. 

“What?” Wil asked, still in the voice chat.  “What was that back there? Why the hell are you so disagreeable?” You let out.  Will scoffed, “Me? You’re the one who kept on insisting birch and cobble when that wouldn't even fit in L’manburg!”  “Jesus Christ,” You sighed, leaning back in your chair and running your hands down your face. “How in the hell are we going to get through this month?”  “Maybe you should stop being so uptight and argumentative.” Wil shot  “Fuck you,” You mumbled before clicking out of the chat and leaving your PC. 

You needed to get out of the house and away from any form of contact you had with Wilbur and social media. You had been cooped up inside your apartment for close to a week at this point, maybe some fresh air would do you good.  You grabbed a jacket and keys before leaving the apartment, leaving your phone charging on your desk. You didn’t want to bring it with you because you didn't even want to think about getting a text or any kind of notification from Wilbur right now, you knew you would have blown up at him completely. 

The weather was just beginning to turn nice, the air was warm but the wind still had a slight winter chill to it, although all the snow was long gone Jack Frost still made his lurking presence known.  Buildings lined the walls of a small square common area where teens mostly hung out after school and on weekends. The square had a fountain in the middle of it, the water had been shut off for the winter but with the warm temperatures from the last month, it had recently been turned back on.  You sat on the ledge of the brick wall around the bottom pool for the fountain, looking at everyone passing through on this nice Wednesday evening. Older couples out for an evening walk, middle-aged business people speed walking their way home from the office, teens scattering the open area, sitting on blankets and laughing in their small groups of friends. You found watching people be interesting, it made you think. 

We are all living our own lives at the same time and most of us on this small planet don't even know of one another, or if you know of them you don't know them, you only know their name. It's weird how that works.  It's astounding to think about though, what are the chances of meeting exactly who you did, at the time you did, and what a gamble it is for them to stick around. 

You had been sitting on the fountain for close to five minutes and when the wind had just started to pick up, sending a slight shiver down your spine.  Your mind was clearer now and you were no longer angry with Wilbur, it was stupid what you fought about and as much as it pained you to admit, he was right.  You were being stubborn and didn’t take into account the surrounding aesthetic of the area. It was your fault that the disagreement broke out in the first place. 

You got home and saw your phone had been basically blown up by notifications from Wilbur, asking if you were really mad at him or if it was for a bit that you took too far, but when you didn't answer he slightly snapped you, asking if you were okay and where you were.  You answered immediately, scared he might have been worrying.

Hey! You typed, Sorry I went for a walk after stream, needed to get out. 

There you are! He responded within seconds, I got worried. 

I’m okay, I left my  phone home, needed a break from the internet and things. You know? 

You mean you needed a break from me? 

You could have sworn, had you been on a video chat with him you would have seen him frowning. You weren't sure what about that message got you, but you found yourself almost with tears in your eyes, you didn't mean to hurt him and you hoped you didn't -what were you talking about. Wilbur didn't mean anything to you, he was just someone you kept in contact with because you were in the same friend group. 

No, you typed, not the whole thing at least. I just needed to clear my head, and i'm sorry for being such a dick on stream, I didn't mean to cause that, and you were right about the blocks. 

You sighed when hitting the send button, never in a million years did you think you would be telling Wilbur, The Wilbur Soot, that he was right about something. I’m sorry. 

Christ Y/N it’s alright, really. Just don't scare me like that again, I was starting to think something bad happened to you. 

I didn't mean to scare you, Wil. 

You found yourself feeling bad about leaving him in the dark while you were out, you didn't mean to worry him, you just didn't want to hurt him by blowing up at him. 

Still call tonight, yeah? He messaged 

You nodded, even though he couldn't see you. Yeah, I'd like that very much. I'll call you before I go to sleep. 

In the time that you had been a fake couple, you and Will had started calling while you were getting ready to fall asleep in bed, you usually ended up falling asleep before he did, the sound of his raspy sleepy voice lulled you to sleep like there was no tomorrow. You'd wake up in the morning to find that Wil left the call going, you thought it was cute. Sure it might have been some highschool relationship stuff but it was cute nonetheless. 

-

“Hello, Y/N” Will said through the phone, his voice sounding tired and soft  “Hi Wil,” You smiled, giggling slightly. Although you had just been on a voice chat with him earlier you loved hearing his voice when he was tired, it sounded like stirring honey into your morning cup of tea, or reading an old book, but specifically an old book that smells of must and age of being stored at the back of your grandparents bookshelf that hadn't been touched in years.  “You sound tired,” you mumbled, laying down with the phone resting on your stomach as you looked up at the ceiling.  “I am,” He hummed, “You don't sound very tired though, did you drink a lot of coffee today?” He asked  “A little more than usual, but I’ll be fine.” You sighed, your voice almost coming out in a whisper. There was something about talking to Wilbur before going to sleep that made you feel soft and loved, but you couldn't put your finger on exactly what it was. Maybe it was the thought of having someone there, or maybe it was just as simple as it was Wilbur and it was you.  

“Are you excited for next week?” He asked  “Right now it feels too far away to be real,”  “Who’s talking here, is it you you or is it us you?” He asked, unsure if your thoughts were good or bad “Its both,” You said. “It feels so far away to me right now, but so close at the same time and a side of me cant wait for it to get here, so we can finally meet in person. But another side of me feels like it’s good that it feels so far away because maybe something will come up and I wont be able to make it and i don’t want to think that or even say it because thats a terrible thing to say but you know how it is.” You rambled, trying your best to explain it to him in a way that he would fully understand the crossroads your mind is at, and not sound like a dick while doing it. 

Although you couldn’t see it, you could tell he was nodding along. “How about we make a deal, alright?” He started, “In these night chats, we don’t have to put on the face of the characters we play on stream and through out the day, Alright?”  You rolled over to your side, putting an arm under your head and setting your phone on the mattress by your head. “I like that. Deal.”  “Okay now tell me how you really feel about all of this” 

All the thoughts ran though your head a mile a minute, you didn’t know where to start honestly, you had a lot of thoughts but if you really looked at it and narrowed it down most of them talked circles around the same thing just using different words. 

“You promise what ever I say wont hurt you or make you flip out?” You asked  “Swear on Tommy’s life.” You could sense the smirk that tugged at the side of his mouth when he said that. “Okay,” You started with a sigh. “So I din’t really know where I stand on it anymore, at the beginning I thought this was going to be insufferable, but now that we’ve gotten into it for a few days, you’re really not that bad, but I’m still on the fence.”  “I hope come meeting, your opinion has changed a little bit more. But I do understand where you’re coming from. Its weird being able to talk off stream and such with you and not be fighting twenty-four-seven. It’s nice, I feel like I’m getting to know you better.” 

He was right, you had told Wilbur more in the last five days than you had ever in your years of knowing him. You were surprised to find out that he’s actually not as bad as you thought, but you would never tell him that bit. 

“Do you have to put on a character when we do those streams and such, Wilbur?” You asked, 

“I don’t think I do, and if I do it I don’t know what I’m doing it. It’s just something thats easy to do, I’m not sure how to explain it.” He replied “Do you have to when we’re talking like this?”  “No. Not at all, this is 100% me.” 

You’re not sure what part hit you the most, when he said he didn’t have to put on a full character mask when showing your ‘relationship’ to the public, or if this Wilbur, the tired one was the real Wilbur who you've been falling asleep with for the past three nights. You weren’t sure what you though you wanted to hear when asking him that but it definitely wasn't what you go, but maybe it was what you needed. 

The line went dead for a couple of minutes, you had the radio playing softly in the background to help you sleep better, and Wilbur seemed to be enjoying listening to you breathe through the phone.

“Hey Wil,” You yawned  “HM?” He hummed, you could tell he had his eyes closed with the phone by his face, like he did on one of your face time calls the other day.  “I’m soon gonna pass-out,” You whispered  “Thats alright, go to sleep. Get your rest, I’ll be here when you wake up, love.” He was so sweet it almost made your heart hurt.  “Okay” You nodded, but don’t hang up, okay? I like it when you’re here with me when I fall asleep.” 

You struggled to keep your eyelids open, feeling heavy and light all at the same time. You felt so light it was as if you could float away but you were too heavy and weighed down to get up and move, even if you absolutely had to move for whatever reason you don't think you could have. 

“Goodnight Wilbur, love you.” You mumbled into your pillow  “Sweet dreams.” 

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

Day 7

Prompt:  There is a string tied around your pinky the end of which leads to your soulmate.

Word Count: 2,647

Main Taglist: (Send an ask to be added or removed!) @starlocked01,​​​ @spoopy-turtle,​​​ @lizluvscupcakes,​​ @more-fandon-than-friends​, @i-cant-find-a-good-username, @vindicatedvirgil, @star-crossed-shipper, @justaqueercactus, @gayboopnoodle, @sanderssidesweirdo, @the-sympathetic-villain, @8-writes Soulmate taglist:(Send an ask to be added or removed!) @elizabutgayer, @melodiread, @tsshipmonth2020, @mikalya12, @8-writes

Note: I modified the prompt a bit. In this world, everyone can see the string tied around the finger. When the string is intact, it’s red like normal. If the string has been cut, it will turn gray and both soulmates will be seen as ‘lesser people’ for denying their destiny. If a soulmate dies, the string will turn black. Another thing to note is that Logan is asexual. It’s briefly alluded to in the beginning but not brought up again.

Virgil wandered the campus, shoulders hunched in a clear indication that he didn’t want to be seen. He was glad to be able to be here at all after what happened in high school. Even so, he made sure to wear the gloves and stay out of people’s ways. The first semester was hell as he still wasn’t sure how to do anything but still tried. It seemed all his teachers had it out for him on day one as soon as they caught sight of those gloves.

It wasn’t until his second semester that he met someone who wore gloves just like him. He was sitting by himself during the time he’d scheduled for lunch, reading a fanfiction off his phone and trying to block out the world. Someone sat beside him and started watching a nature documentary while eating. He glanced over and frowned in confusion. Before he could gather his things to move to a different seat, the person spoke.

“I see you’re just like me.”

Virgil’s frown deepened. “How is that?”

They held up a gloved hand. “How did yours happen?”

Virgil relaxed into his seat. “I don’t know. I was in the middle of math class in high school.”

They winced, nodding. “That’s tough.”

“You?” Virgil didn’t know why, but he felt a burning need to know their story, to know he wasn’t alone in his struggles.

Their wince turned sour, a look one step away from a glare entering their eyes. “I cut it myself. She wasn’t willing to treat me right, didn’t accept my pronouns and sexuality, so I cut it. I know my worth and she didn’t deserve me. As far as I care, she still doesn’t.”

Virgil nodded, almost in awe of them. “I never met mine but they’ve stayed with me for a while now. I’ve always wondered if I was ever going to be good enough for someone or if I was simply too damaged.” He had no idea why he was telling a random stranger his life’s story but it felt too right to stop.

The stranger shook their head. “They cut it, you didn’t. It’s their fault but you’ve had to live with it. That shouldn't have been the case.” They turned to look at him, a fierce expression in their eyes. “If they didn’t want you, they didn’t deserve you, simple as that. You never got to know them or be known by them, thus it is their fault for cutting it. Never blame yourself for the actions of others.”

With that, they put their headphones back in and played their documentary. Virgil felt his phone buzz and looked down to find that he had ten minutes to get to class. He hastily ripped out a paper from his notebook, scrawled his number on it, shoved it over to the stranger, and ran off to get to class.

He didn’t see the stranger again for a few days but got a text from them that night. They chatted late into the night, talking about classes and life outside of soulmates. They commiserated over their lack of soulmates and the shunning it causes. Virgil was able to complain about his gloves and how much he hated them and have someone agree and understand, something he’d never had before. He was able to understand when the stranger, Logan, complained about the stares they got while washing their hands, how they hated everyone looking at the gray string that hung limply from their finger.

Virgil soon found not only a soulmateless companion, but a companion in academic pursuits as well. They seemed to be intellectual peers so Virgil understood most of Logan’s science babble. Logan seemed to have taken a biologist major as they spoke of creatures found in rainforests constantly. Virgil, on the other hand, was in an arts major, focusing mainly on building models of commissioned structures.

Slowly, brick by brick, Logan rebuilt Virgil’s self confidence. They helped him regain his self love, told him how strong he was for surviving the most grueling years of his life. Logan would never let Virgil apologize for the simple things like running late or using the wrong pronouns for them. They always made sure to let him know that they were not upset and were proud of his progress. Virgil’s sense of self worth grew stronger and larger, finally allowing him to see what Logan had known from the start: Virgil’s soulmate didn’t deserve him.

Over the semester, they grew closer, their bond growing strong. Virgil’s panic attacks lessened, he could stand to hear the word ‘soulmates’ without wanting to curl into a ball and cry, he didn’t jump at the sight of a math textbook, didn’t feel the need to hide his high school passions. He grew enough that he could look at the gloves he had to wear with something other than disdain.

Soon, they had decided to room together the next semester. Luckily, their requests were easily approved as it seemed the faculty were more than happy to have the two students without soulmates room together.

They finished their degrees and managed to graduate without dying, which Virgil counted as a plus. Logan simply said Virgil was being overdramatic. Once they graduated, they found an aquarium with a rainforest section that allowed Logan to work with the animals they loved and gave Virgil a lot of opportunities to make or upgrade different terrariums and enclosures. He was also able to design more enrichment activities for certain animals. They saw each other in the back rooms and in the halls. Most times, they ended up sitting with each other to eat lunch as not many people wanted to interact with them.They still lived together in a small apartment as they didn’t feel the need to move.

Over time, Virgil got to know Logan better and knew he was falling for them. One night, he’d accidentally had too much to drink. He leaned against Logan, who’s arm around his waist was the only thing keeping him upright and relatively stable. Logan deposited him on the couch. “Stay here, I’ll go grab you some water to sober you up.”

Virgil whined, reaching out for them. Once he took hold of their hand, he pulled his roommate close. “No! Don’t go!”

Logan sighed but sat down on the couch anyways. Virgil leaned heavily to the side but before Logan could catch him, his head landed in the other’s lap. Virgil wiggled a bit before he managed to throw his legs over the arm of the couch, fully laying down now. He giggled, looking up at Logan. “You’re really handsome.” He muttered.

Logan smiled fondly, a hand reaching out to stroke through Virgil’s hair. “That’s nice, Virge. How about you try to sleep now?”

Virgil shook his head. “No, no sleep. You’re too nice to me.”

Logan’s smile turned into a frown. “How am I too nice to you?”

“You’re very patient with me, never getting angry at me for jumping at small noises, or randomly leaving a room. You take such good care of me when I’m sick. You’ve treated me with more basic human kindness than most people did during college.” Tears started to slide down his temples but Logan brushed them away. “I love you, L.” Virgil curled up, his face pressed against Logan’s stomach.

Logan stayed still the rest of the night, eventually falling asleep. When they woke, Virgil was moving around in the kitchen. “Sorry, did I wake you?” He asked genuinely.

Logan groaned but shook their head as they stood. “No, but I think we need to talk about last night.”

Virgil nodded, turning the burner off so he didn’t burn the scrambled eggs. “Is this about my drinking? I promise that was a one time thing.”

“No, I trust you on that. I’m talking about what you said to me before you fell asleep.”

Virgil nodded again, shakier this time. He put the dish towel he was holding down. “Oh, that.”

Logan nodded. “I only really have one question for you.”

Virgil looked at the counter, pretending to wipe at the already clean surface. “Sure, shoot.”

Logan put a hand on his arm, staying his movement. “Did you mean it?”

Virgil’s head shot up so fast he was sure he popped something. “Of course!”

Logan smiled, leaning over to kiss Virgil’s cheek. “Good, because I love you too.”

Virgil stood there, dazed, for a few minutes while Logan walked away to shower and get ready for the day. When they came back out, they had a discussion of what their relationship was and decided that they were datemates.

As time went on, they stopped sleeping in separate rooms for one reason or another. Sometimes, one of them couldn’t handle the pressure of the world anymore and ended up crying themselves to sleep on the other’s bed, sometimes they were cuddling and talking before falling asleep. Eventually, they simply decided to share a room. With their combined savings, they toured apartments and found one they liked, with a bedroom they could both make theirs.

A few more years went by and they were happy. When around Logan, Virgil could almost forget about the grey string tied to his finger, the string that decreed he was unlovable, unable to marry, unable to adopt. The string and all implications that came with it ceased to exist the moment he caught sight of Logan.

It was in one of those moments that he knew: he wanted to marry this beautiful human beside him, the one holding him close, the one who makes him forget the world, the one who loves him just as much as he loves them. He also knew that the gray strings hidden under their gloves denied their marriage. Only soulmates bound by a red string could get married, adopt, love.

Virgil raised his head from it’s position on Logan’s chest, looking them in the eye. “Marry me.”

Logan chuckled, a hand running through Virgil’s hair. “I’d love to but you know we can’t.”

Virgil shook his head. “If our marriage would never be legal, why should we use legal means?”

Logan’s smile slid into a frown. “I don’t follow.”

“How does a wedding go, babe?”

Logan’s smile returned at the pet name. “It usually involves the soulmates saying vows and swapping their soul strings, which proceeds to glow golden around the base of the finger while the rest of the string stays red.”

Virgil nodded, his smile growing. “So, let’s do that! We don’t need any witnesses if we’re not able to make it legal anyways. What do you say?”

Logan had gotten a look in their eye while Virgil was talking that he knew all too well. His datemate was plotting something. “Well,” he said finally, “if we’re doing this, I’d want to do it as best as we can.”

Virgil nodded, moving to sit up so he could see Logan better. “Like what?”

“You mentioned vows?”

Virgil smiled, feeling excitement and just a bit of anxiety growing. “That’s doable.”

“I could pick up cupcakes instead of a wedding cake?”

Virgil nodded, grinning. “Would it be too much if I were to wear a suit?”

Logan smiled, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Not if I wore a dress.”

They continued to plan their ‘wedding’ over the course of a few days, both preparing vows in their free time. Virgil was once asked about what he was doing by a coworker but said he was giving a speech at a relative’s wedding, not wanting to give away that what he was doing was technically illegal.

The day they’d set arrived. It was a joint day off so neither had to go into work. Virgil woke up before Logan did, depositing a kiss to their forehead before slipping out of bed. He ate breakfast, making one for Logan to find when they woke up, before heading to the spare bedroom to prepare.

A few hours later, he walked out to the living room they’d decorated the night before. He stood at the arch of paper links, his gloves discarded and suit on. He fidgeted with the edges, wanting everything to be perfect for Logan.

When they walked out, it felt like his breath was sucked out of him. His eyes swept over Logan’s frame, their dress accentuating their features. Logan’s smile could have sent birds singing when Virgil’s eyes finally made their way back up. He held out his hand for them to take as they arrived. “You look gorgeous.” He murmured in awe.

Logan chuckled, dropping their bouquet gently onto the couch. “Thank you. You look amazing as well.”

Virgil gripped Logan’s hands tightly, knowing he was first. He looked directly into their eyes while he spoke. “I’ve chosen you. To be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you and trusting who you will become. In a world that is based on who you were destined to love at birth, I’ve chosen to love you. It is free will but that does not mean it is false love. I will gladly share your name and care for you, in sickness and in health, in fair weather and storms, in every battle life throws at us. I will stand by your side and fight with you. We shall always be equals in this marriage and I would never wish it any other way. I love you and take you, Logan Croft, to be my unlawfully wedded spouse.”

Logan smiled, squeezing Virgil’s hands before beginning. “All I have in this world, I freely give to you. I promise to love you every second of every day, not just for a moment, nor for an hour, nor for a day, nor for a year, I will love you until eternity ends. Until the mountains crumble into the sea, and the oceans rise to consume the land, I will love you with everything I have. I will put you back together when you are falling apart, I will laugh with you, grieve with you. Our love is unique and something I will cherish beyond anything. I found you without the aid of a string, without anything tying our souls together, and our love is stronger for it. We have fought to love, fought to live in a world that does not want us, and we have grown and clung to each other through it all. I cannot tell where I end and you begin and I would have it no other way. I love you with all my soul and take you, Virgil Storm, to be my unlawfully wedded husband.”

They both carefully untied the gray strings around their pinkies, Virgil tying his around Logan’s left ring finger before Logan tied theirs around Virgil’s. Once they did that, they shared a kiss. Logan was the first to pull back, their eyes going down to look at the soul string tied around their finger.

The part tied at the base was now a glowing silver instead of a muted gray. Following the ends, one ended as normal while the other had grown and now connected to one of Virgil’s ends. His own string was also glowing a bright silver while the connecting string was a soft pink.

Virgil stared in shock before locking eyes with Logan. “Do you know what this means?”

“That people who have cut strings can choose their next soulmate? Or that the prejudice against those with grey and black strings is no longer justified? That we could probably go register at a courthouse and be lawfully wedded now? That-”

Virgil surged forward and captured their lips with a kiss. “It means that no one can tell us we are broken. No one can rip us apart.” He whispered before Logan tilted their head up for more kisses.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: Miraculous World: New York

(The following review contains spoilers, and if you would like to not be spoiled, I would recommend watching the episode before reading)

(I had to pause a LOT to get through this special)

-Oh s*** Cosmo bug and Astro Noir. That is so cool.

-Okay maybe its my audio, but their voices seem a bit deeper. No big, just something I noticed.

-Okay the yellow flower was cute. Good on you kitty.

- Also, side note. This is very nice animation. Very crisp.

- Marinette is moving on... kinda. Well, she is trying. Its not easy getting over someone you have a thing for. I guess that means Miracle Queen did happen and I will need to suck it up. But.... I am not moving on yet either.

- The puppet show was perfection. And honestly on par with what you would expect from middle school projects. (I almost thought it was the adults showing them and was like WTF)

-BACK THE F***. Madame Bustier is PREGNANT! PREGNANT?! I am so lost? What is the story!? Who is the father! Is she married? Is it artificial insemination! Is it the principal?

-Adrien so moved by Marinette’s outburst of Friendship. Marinette ‘Just a friend’ Dupain-Cheng is going the Tia Gardner method of friendship. Lol

-Marinette ready to fight and Gabriel just like ‘Yea sure whatever’ (Gabriel’s smile murders puppies)

- Kagami trying to cheer adrien up. If you love adrigami, get that juice. (That looked like a kiss kiss, but the angle seemed off, so I am not counting it that way.)

- Kitty Clicker is wonderful. This entire scene is gold.

-  Gorrilla doesnt like planes, poor baby

- Plagg, you are a devious little s***. I love you so much. As a writer, his dialogue on how to convince adrien is so devilish its amazing. Using technicalities to tempt adrien.

-Lukanette shippers get your juice... even if it was still tainted a bit by Adrien inclusion. You still get a kiss.

- Okay, can we appreciate that Adrien is also having the same amount of trouble as Marinette moving on, but also include Guilt into the equation? I love this because you KNOW Chat noir is going to get an ear full later.

-Marinette has totally moved on from Adrien.... Oh my poor sweet little girl. You havent. You havent even a little. This ride is litterally the reverse of Startrain and its amazing. Alya is NOT helping. Also, give the person that drew Marinette’s Daydreams a f***ing raise. They earned it

-Marinette pulling herself OUT of the situation. Now adrien is slightly bummed out. Well i am sure that this is the last awkward experience with Adrien she will have. It isnt like the two of them will get lost in NY together... thats whats gonna happen isnt it?

-Marinette walking past all the couples sleeping together. JULROSE GET YOUR JUICE!!!

-Ah yes, nothing like watching the sunset with your good friend. Yes, you good pal, Adrien. Who is Just a friend. Wow, the realization that Marinette used the word friend in this movie more times then Adrien did in the entire series so far. (Or at the very least close)

- Adrien, STOP! Marinette is trying to move on from you! Stop making it so damn difficult for her. (I am not serious, i am eating this s*** up like Sushi)

-Nino confirms he loves Adrien. ADRINO COME GET YOUR JUICE! But yea, I feel alya and Nino’s pain. So they are going to help them both.

-Adrienette hugs. Yes, good.

-And thank goodness for Techno Pirate! Saving everyone from awkwardness by trying to bring down a plane... thats heading for NY...

-OH SWEET! BATMAN RIP OFF AND Captain Marvel rip off! And their sidekicks, Robin rip off and... Medusa girl? Okay Neat.

-Jokes aside, Majestia and Night Owl are boss as hell.

-Wow, I know that Ladybug and Chat noir got powerups now. But these United Heroes make their powers look so bland in comparison.

-Get rekt France!

-ADRIEN! DONT USE YOUR PHONE ON AN AIRPLANE! Well, unless he is using the in flight wifi, then he good.

-How come New York has a f*** ton of superheroes in this universe? America really gets all the cool stuff regardless of what fictional universe your in.

- Why are the superheroes so keen on watching over Marinette’s class? Do they know? Do they know Marinette and Adrien are there? Or is it like they just want to prevent an international incident. PLEASE LET IT BE THE LATER.

- I have only had Aeon for 15 seconds and I would violently murder anyone who harms her.

-Oh my Sabrina! GET YOURSELF AN AMERICAN BOY! ... And Chloé is going to ruin the fun. Oof tough break roomies.

-The entire class! I cant even! Not even a second after the door closes they out to party on the roof!

-Aeon, “See? They are made for eachother!”

- Damn, now that’s some guitar playing! Plus Her design is boss as heck. America really just has better versions of EVERYTHING.

-American boy basically snuck in to see Sabrina! GET IT GIRL!

-HOTDOG SUPERHERO! WITH MAGIC HOTDOGS!!!!!! BEST NEW YORK EVER!

-Nino and Alya be tag teaming this!

-Wow Zag, you stuffing me full of Adrinette goodness. Gorilla is a beautiful sunflower.

- Marinette and Adrien havent been in the US 24 hours and they already have two shippers of them. Also, what do doors have against them?

-Jess is Shipping it too hard. “Lets put them in danger!”

-Jess is having way too much fun with this.

-Hawkmoth akumatizing an actual Super villain. FINALLY!

- “Wouldn’t you rather have an Atomic Bomb?” I love Techno pirate.

-”Super Heroes should never use their powers for personal gain.”  Hmmm I wonder how this will back fire on everyone involved.

-”OH S*** HE STOLE THEIR CANNONS! BOOM GOES THE CANNONS!”

-Okay, I take back what I said, these heroes need some Miraculous asap.

- Ladybug is 100% justified in being angry with Chat Noir. It is his fault.

-AEON!!!! NO!!!!!!! Okay, guess i have to kill that techno pirate, and Chat noir

-MAJESTIA IS F***ING PISSED! WRECK HIM MAJESTIA!

- Seems they really hammering it in that Chat noir f***ed up. They right though, but at least Ladybug isnt angry enough to agree that Chat noir should give up his miraculous to some rando. FLEEING FROM THE LAW!

-So lucky charm can only fix damage due to specific villains. It cant fix things when the villain is gone or they are out of range. I always knew it had limitations, but damn. Chat noir REALLY screwed the pooch on this one.

-Adrien no! Oh s***! He cant just... I mean.... He can but...

__________

-Gabriel stole the Eagle! The Kwami of Freedom. The irony is so delicious here.

- So night Owl and Sparrow are both chick with Masculine superhero appearances. Thats actually pretty damn smart, great way to keep people off their identity.

-Welp, i am depressed. Adrien doesnt have Plagg.

-EVEN THE PRESIDENT IS A SUPER HERO! AMAZING!

- So an akumatized person can USE A MIRACULOUS WHILE AKUMATIZED! WHAT THE F*** THATS AWESOME. Also why didnt catalyst do that?

-Gabriel actually getting adrien out of there while before s*** hits the fan. That is actually kind of a decent parenting move. Granted he is going to cause it, but appreciate it.

-Marinette the bike thief is back! And she is an international criminal!

- She tried so hard. Welp I am glad that Marinette is clearly over... actually no. This trip made that clear.

-Liberation, Wow. That is the most American power I have ever seen. I LOVE IT.

- Okay, so I never thought i would say this. maybe there is such a thing as too much freedom? Or at least Freedom that lets you impede on Other people’s freedoms.

- I know what Zag is up to, and it is working. I want a tv series Of Jess and Aeon. They are wonderful.

-So Majestia can casually move the moon. Yea, thats amazing and terrifying! I love her.

-Quantum masking! So there is a glamor effect! I knew it! So Aeon knows who ladybug and Chat noir are.

-DID I F***ING MENTION I WOULD MURDER FOR AEON!

-aeon will never see Tikki or plagg. Thats so sad.

-At least Adrien learned an important lesson.

-Cute LADYNOIR REUNION

-The was clever, using the keychain

- Eagle jess is epic.

-and Majestia can catch missles. Considering she can move the moon. Not surprising.

-OH DAMN, Night owl and Sparrow are LEGACY HEROES! Thats like the Phantom, Or like Jojo.

-That was sweet of Marinette and the class.

-Oh so the guardian of those miraculous came back to claim it.

-But now sounds like the set up for a new series.

____________________________________________________________________

Overall, I did greatly enjoy this movie. Though there were times i wanted to know more, and times I wanted to know less. I know this takes place sometime during season 4, but the exact time is vague. It did tell a really cool story. It felt like a three episode saga combined into one. It was kind of interesting. And damn the drama was higher.

I give it a 7.5/10.

I would rate it up there with my favorite ML episodes.

[amphii-writes]

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

[hwajin]

disclaimers: this is f!reader angst, expect nothing from me i have bad grammar and im mentally drained. tnx -lorelei/🥟

* minho made an update as i was writing.

心做し (224) ft. 이민호

day 1

to say the least, you were annoyed. too annoyed at the fact you couldn't concentrate in the first day of class. "you should really talk it out with him." jeongin said at you with a concerned look. "i'm not angry i just, hate being second all the time. c'mon ayen, you know that since the first day we became friends."

you were once y/n, the transferee girl. you sat beside jeongin on your first day, who thought you looked cute on your first day.

coincidentally, you liked his friend. a senior who was named minho. assuring to yourself and jeongin that it was nothing more than a crush was the hardest part. being drunk at a party and confessing to him had become what you quote "the best thing i've ever did".

after class ended, you decided to stick with jeongin who became class president and now is tasked to clean the classroom. why were you there? you really trusted him, a lot and as a friend.

"hyung!" jeongin called out to your supposed boyfriend who was walking toward your classroom.

"y/n-ah, bubs, cutie" he said, ignoring the male and rushing to give you a warm hug. "if you feel less, remember i love you so much. today tomorrow forever, remember?" he told you and you just stood there, uncertain how to react.

"y/n you should go home, i'll be waiting for seungmin too." jeongin said with a warm smile, looking at your annoyed face that contrasts minho's neutral face.

for some reason, you and minho walked home not even talking. "i'm-" "please dont remind me again." you coldly said. "i'll make it up to you. iced coffee?" he asked as you shrugged, thinking of your answer but your heart said yes after a second he asked the question.

"i'm super sorry i've been insecure." you muttered while intertwining both your arms. "no big deal. remember that she's a friend." he said as he rubbed your fingers.

you've never really been anyone's first choice, in middle school you never really had a permanent set of friends that treated you like a friend. you were always rejected and your parents never really cared for you as much as other parents do. you knew you grew up quickly, and you're trying to fix yourself as much as you can.

"oh look, the theme park is open today." he said, pointing outside to the moving ferris wheel. "come on, we are fixing the blue, making it color yellow." he said while dragging you outside the coffee shop as you silently drink your coffee.

he put your bangs down slightly, smiling at what he did and ruffles your hair softly. "my y/n is so cute. she's pretty, nice and she is the first person in my mind. "

"minho?" there she was, the girl you hate the most. minho's first love. his family loves her that sometimes you get compared to her. you knew of her existence, unsure if she knew yours though. "ah this must be your new girlfriend!"

noticing your uneasy gazes, minho spoke up. "hi, yeah and we're leaving." he said. "i really don't know where the entrance is, can i come with you? i'm meeting up with my friends." she pouted as you nodded.

"yeah, you're y/n, super cute. minho and you were together since last year? congrats!" she asked and minho was the one to answer. "yeah, here's the entrance to the theme park." he scoffed and held your hand tighter while you walked towards the ferris wheel.

day 2

the next day, you had to bring it up to jeongin and seungmin, people you trusted the most. "yeah its kinda like in a teasing way, i absolutely hate it. its like she wants to punch me in the face and move me out of her way!"

"oh my god, never be a punch bag you can move around." jeongin said. "i'm not a punchbag!" you said in an enthusiasic tone "Y/N ISNT A PUNCHBAG." seungmin accidentally said too loudly, causing the librarian to look and he bowed his head to say sorry. "my bad." he said and the three of you laughed quietly.

day 94

and, you knew it was coming.

after months, she always found a way to be closer to him. after all, she did know him better. while losing time for you, he remembered all the points on why she was his first love after all.

"minho... please dont hurt me anymore mentally. if you want to break up with me, im sorry. i dont know. i just feel too conflicted. i... hate this so much. i want to die. " was the first words you said as he opened up to your door. "i love you y/n." "its always i love you y/n, i love you y/n, fuck do you even mean them?! words aint enough, atleast spend some time with me. i... absolutely hate this."

collapsing to his arms, he felt his tears rushing down his cheeks. "i never knew you felt like that." he said as he caressed your hair. "now you know." you said, as he kissed your tears away. "can we move somewhere else?" he asked, talking about the awkward position you have on the doorway that made you smile.

day 156

"wow, it's snowing!" you said as you tugged minho's arm. "babe, please pay attention to me." you say to your boyfriend over and over again, who has been focusing on his project. you knew it was hard for him, but it was a sunday. and it was a group project. "you done your part yesterday-" "let me finish this first." he said with a scary tone, realizing what he said he decided to let it be for a few moments.

why am i being like this? he asked himself, looking at his girlfriend. his girlfriend, he reminded himself. perhaps he forgot? is his first love comig back to his life?

day 183

"and... thats what i knew. " you said over and over again. "y/n..." "stop messing around with me! you knew i couldve told hwang hyunjin from class c that! i couldve told your friend jisung, i had a crush on them too, but i chose you, and i never regretted it for, one and a half year. you dont even remember our anniversary? could you just ever..." you said, walking away.

"but i wasn't your first choice either." he spit out, and that made you get very angry. "what about now? who is your first choice now, my first choice now would be you. after that day i confessed it became you, i didnt even force myself to. it was because, you were minho i loved. can i... get him back. but fuck no, you played me." you said, and he breathed in and out.

after hours of silence, you left your phone, he noticed. opening the chats and backreading everything, that was the time where indeed he was wrong, he was wrong in all aspects. he never says sorry, its always her. and his phone rang, it was the girl again. he felt a jolt in his heart reading her name, butterflies in his stomach, but he knew there was y/n.

"ah fuck, this is all my fault."

day 192

a week or so since you havent gone to school, thats when you realized your mom cared and told you advice, went online shopping with you. its just that you always view everything negatively.

"someone wants to see you." she said, you hoped it was minho who would tell you sorry.

"y/n... its jeongin and seungmin. i have notes here compiled, even though im from another class. jeongin has english here, are you fine? " they asked while you explained everything.

day 194

deciding to go to school although minho was there was a bad thing. the day consisted of you being mentally unstable, and that wasnt the cherry on top.

"why are you here?" you said once you went out the school campus. "because, i want to. iced coffee?" again, blindly saying yes.

day 200

if you love her, dont be nice anymore. chanted in your head, but cant be said.

" why are you so nice, i know you've fallen out of love. " and he smiled as he looked again at the movie.

"minho. please, give me closure. stop being nice. treat me like a servant. swear at me. tell me im a bitch, whore, i dont know degrade me! please leave my heart alone, i cant cry anymore."

and so he thought for a moment, i cant do that.

day 210

holding you close again while you violently react, he caressed your face softly. tracing each feature and wiping your tears.

screaming, crying, like the storm. but he still held you up, like how he does to you everytime. "it's fine now."

day 224

"if i had a hole in my heart, how do i fix it?" she asked him, the man who she hasnt talked to in 2 weeks. "you've known what it is." he replied subtly.

"its not today tomorrow forever anymore huh. two day, two morrow and four ever. and its feb 24. fucking want to collapse or you just hit me and degrade me like what i said." and you watched him shake his head. "you cant split a heart into two and think it would still work, cant you?"

"but, you can break one into pieces and then they'd pretend its fine." she says with a bitter smile. "please be happy." and those words, those simple words were the confirmation. it was such a bitersweet love, everyone finds their way out of this somehow.

oof wait a minute i gotta read this later I DON'T HAVE TIME RN BUT EVERYONE GO READ

[ironspiidey]

Superhero’s get Bullies Too Part 10

Chapter 1

Chapter 10: Harley Stark & Throat Punching a Bully

Read on AO3

Thats right guys finally a new update!!!!!!

friendly reminder a hoe for likes and comments. They also fuel me :)

“So you and May eh?” Peter says with a smirk as he slides into the backseat of the car.

Happy glances in the rearview mirror. “Me and your Aunt are just friends Peter.”

Peter rolls his eyes. “Liar. I know my aunt well enough to know you two are more than just friends Happy.”

Happy tossed Peter his phone before turning out of the apartment parking lot and in the direction of the tower.

“Oh thanks!” Peter unlocks his phone and scrolls through his texts, seeing a bunch from his very concerned boyfriend, which made him smile. “Stop ignoring me.”

“I’m not ignoring you.”

“You’re not, not ignoring me either.” Peter looked up from his phone to give the driver a pointed look in the mirror.

Happy shook his head. “Your aunt and I are friends Peter, we may have hung out once or twice.”

“Three times.” Peter says without looking up from his phone, quickly sending a message in his group chat with MJ, Gwen & Ned about how Happy’s picked him up and brought him his phone.

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve hung out with her 3 different times. First time was when she went looking for me at the Tower but I was at a decathlon thing, you took her for coffee but only told Mr. Stark you were taking her home.”

“How?”

“How do I know? Well we did some major catching up during pee and snack breaks today when we were watching Greys.”

Happy nods in understanding “Ah okay, She does become easier to talk to when that TV show is involved.”

“Did you two ‘Netflix and Chill’ in my living room?”

The older man remains quite.

“Oh gross.”

Happy chuckles as he puts the partition up, clearly having enough of the redheads 21 questions.

Peter shakes his head and looks down at his phone. He starts deleting old conversations to clean up his inbox and his thumb hovers over Harley’s messages. He opens the conversation and sighs.

H: Hey Pete, not sure when youll see this but yeah. I know your upset with Stark for looking in your phone but he cares about you a lot more then he lets on which I know is hard to believe

 H: my point is trust is huge with him and he’s low key freaking out that he lost you even though im saying he hasn’t bc your too stubborn to give up on his crazy ass. Just maybe cut him some slack when you get here. He means well.

 H: and Im kinda getting used to having you around so yeah.

Peter bites his lip debating on digging out the messages from Flash that he archived a few months ago or deleting them. Knowing that it will send Tony even more over the edge then the superhero already is but at the same time remembering how upset he sounded when he found the one conversation. Peter sighs as he responds to Harley’s messages.

 P: Don’t worry Harley, it’s going to take more than one fight to get rid of me. I know he cares and tell him to stop being a dumbass and that he hasn’t lost me.

Peter sighs again, realizing if things are truly going to work he needs to be as truthful as possible with the older man

 P: and tell him I have something to show him when I get there.

 H: So happys picked you up? How long till your home also will do parker

Peter knocks on the partition.

“Yes Peter?” Happy responds once he brings the glass screen down half way

“How far are we away from the Tower?” Peter asks without looking up, shooting his boyfriend a quick text about how he isn’t mad, that he still loves him and everything will be alright.

“About 20 minutes, traffic seems slow today.”

“Thanks Happy.”

Peter goes back to his conversation with Harley and tells him just that, switching to Tony’s chat as his phone vibrates.

 T: my nephew ratted me out didn’t he?

 P: Or I could be telepathic

 T: without even being near me?

 P: I always said we were meant to be :P

 P: But seriously Tones, you know I love you. I’m not going to run away that easily.

 T: I love you Underoos

 P: Happy says I should be home in 20 minutes, should I order takeout?

The younger man’s phone buzzes, showing Tony’s caller ID

“I’ll take that as a yes?”

“Actually no.” Tony starts “I have something planned here and no I’m not telling you what it is.”

‘Don’t worry Parker, you’re going to love it!!!’ Peter hears Harley holler in the background

“Another dinner? You really are sucking up.” Peter says with a grin

“What? Cant a man provide a nice dinner for the ones he love.”

“You’re definitely up to something Tony.”

“Always. Harley here go put this on the table. Okay Petey I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

“Okay Tones, love you.”

“Ditto.”

Peter smiles to himself after disconnecting the call. Happy smirked as he glanced in the rearview mirror. Peter noticed and raised an eyebrow “What?”

“Not a thing.”

"So your Uncle let you come to school Keener?"

Harley gave him a look as he entered the building "What the fuck do you want?"

After the weekend the blonde just had. Finding out just how much of a piece of shit Flash was, Harley’s patience was nonexistent with the other teen.

"I want in."

"In on what?"

"Parker."

Harley's eyes widen "What the fuck do you mean? It’s too fucking early to deal with your dumbass"

"Don't play stupid with me. I know you’re fucking him, and maybe even your uncle is too. I want a fucking piece with or without your help."

"Is that a fucking threat?"

"It's a promise."

"You leave Parker the fuck alone or I'll fucking end you." the blonde teen growled.

"Ah ah ah, what would your uncle say if you got into another fight?"

Harley stepped up into Flash's personal space "He'd fucking congratulate me for putting an end to your disgusting, useless life."

Flash pushed him back. "Gonna kill me are you?"

"C'mon Harley, Flash isn’t worth it. Think about Peter." Harley’s friend, Tommy finally spoke up. Harley didn’t exactly tell Tommy everything but Tommy knew Flash was on some serious thin ice based on some texts between Flash and Parker. Harley had a bad temper on a good day but after whatever happened this past weekend, well Tommy was pretty sure his friend was just a ticking bomb ready to explode.

"Yeah Harley," Flash mocked. “Who would save him if you're stuck in jail being somebodies little bitch."

Harley turned to his friend and laughed manically "Ha, this guy."

"Oh no." Tommy sighed as Harley turned back to the bully and punched him in the throat. So much for a quiet Monday.

Flash fell back grasping at his throat before lunging at the blonde. "You’re going to regret that."

Harley quickly dodged him, sticking his foot out so the brute fell. He flipped him over and grabbed a hold of his collar. "You are going to regret ever fucking with Parker.” Harley spat and he hauled his arm back and started punching him repeatedly

Tommy sighed and leaned against the wall, keeping an eye out for teachers or Flash's boys. They were by the side entrance of the school that nobody uses except the kids smoking but you couldn’t be too careful. Plus the last thing they needed was Parker coming around and seeing this.

After a few punches were thrown Harley let off. He wiped the blood on his knuckles off on Flash’s shirt then got up.

"Know your fucking place Thompson. Ready to go?"

Tommy turned and nodded "Yeah let’s bounce before Parker shows up."

"This isn't fucking over!" Flash sputtered as moved to get up.

Harley turned and spit in front of the other teen. "If you know what's good for you, it'll be over."

"How long do you think we've got till he blabs to someone?"

Harley shrugs "Hopefully till lunch."

As they make their way to the front of the school Tommy’s phone starts buzzing. "What the fuck?"

Harley looked at him puzzled. “What?"

The other boy tilted his screen so that he could see "See for yourself."

"Why is Parker calling you?”

"The better question is how he got my number. Harley!"

The blonde put his hands up “Wasn't me dude. Well answer it!"

Tommy gave him a funny look before answering. "Yo."

 "Hey Tommy? It’s Peter. Peter Parker. "

"Hi Parker."

 "Hi! Is Harley with you?"

"Yep, wanna talk to him?" Harley held his hand out

 "Um no actually I wanted to talk to you. You don't have me on speaker do you?"

Tommy shook his head at his friend, shrugging when Harley gave him a confused look. "Nope."

 "Okay great. Well I just wanted to say it’s my fault he didn’t get to hang out with you this weekend."

"Your fault?" Tommy pushed Harley away when he tried to listen in.

 "Yeah uh well you see." Peter coughed, clearly nervous "Harley got angry at Flash because of me and To- Mr. Stark was not impressed and basically put him on house arrest."

"House arrest?” Tommy glanced at his friend, mouthing 'He's apologizing'

 "Yeah. His uncle didn't trust him."

"I don’t blame him there, Harley's a heathen." he snickered, wincing when Harley punched him in the arm.

 Peter giggled "I'm not sure what he told you so I just wanted to clear things up in case he said something stupid like he had a date or something."

"That would be stupid?"

 "Well duh, he's your best friend and he shouldn't lie to you. Especially not for me. Could you do me a favor?"

"Depends on what it is?"

 "Nothing bad! I just want you to keep an eye on Harley and maybe uh make sure he stays away from Flash. I'm worried he's going to do something stupid and then To- Mr. Stark would lose it and it'll be a giant mess. So if you could do that for me that be great."

Tommy shook his head. "Yeah Parker I can do that but you owe me one alright?"

 "I expect nothing less. See ya Tommy"

"What was that about?” Harley questioned him as the call ended.

“Parker is too smart for his own good. He just called me to ask me to keep an eye on you and keep you away from Flash."

"To keep an eye on me?"

"Yup."

"He's something else. Bet my uncle had something to do with it." Harley pulled out his phone as they entered the building, texting his uncle

 H: did you tell Peter to call Tommy?

"Yeah that’s the other thing!"

Harley looked up from his phone “Other thing?”

“Yeah he kept starting to call your uncle by his first name than correcting himself.”

“Oh.” Harley tried to remain normal but was freaking out inside. If Tommy was to ask any questions about his uncle and Parker, well Harley wasn’t sure how he’d be able to lie to his best friend without him becoming suspicious.

“Yeah like I know he’s his intern and you two are kinda friends and hang out at your place together so I’m sure he doesn’t call him Mr. Stark. There’s no reason to cover it up.”

Harley shrugged “Yeah well maybe he’s trying to hide that we hang out?”

“Why would he call me to say he’s the reason you couldn’t hang this weekend then?”

“He did what? I thought you said he called to make sure you kept an eye on me?”

“Well he did. But first he wanted to make sure I knew that you didn’t chill this weekend because of something to do with Flash bugging him and you and Stark got into it.”

“Why would he bring that up?”

Tommy shrugged. “Somethin about worrying you’d make up some shit story about a date to cover it up. I’m your best friend and you shouldn’t lie to me especially for Parker.”

Harley gave him an unimpressed look.

“What? His words not mine.”

“Sure.”

“I’m serious! Then he asked about keeping an eye on you. So see what I mean when it makes no sense?”

Harley was about to respond when his phone buzzed

 Stark: No. Did you do something that would require him to talk to Tommy?

 H: Not even. So you’re telling me you had nothing to do with him getting a hold of Tommys number to call him?

 Stark: You are becoming paranoid nephew  .

 H: That don’t answer my question uncle.

 Stark: *doesn’t. Stark: Get to class I’ll see you after school.

Harley rolled his eyes as he put his phone back in his pocket. “Sorry what?”

“Were you even listening to me?”

Harley sighed. “Yes buttercup. Peter thinks you shouldn’t lie to me, wants you to keep an eye on me and hiding our friendship makes no sense considering he called you about that shit.”

“Someone is moody as fuck today.”

“Sorry man it’s just my uncle.”

Tommy raises an eyebrow “That or Flash hit a nerve.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well I mean dude you have a temper but the last time I seen you beat the shit outta somebody like that over a conversation was when my girlfriend was given a hard time. So unless someone you know is dating Parker, you’re catching feelings.”

Harley scrunched his nose up in disgust. “Fuck no. He’s just my Uncle’s intern man.”

“Since when has your uncle needed you to protect his interns?” Tommy challenged

“Since he started having a nerd the size of a beanpole for an intern.”

Tommy gave him a look as they entered first class.

“Seriously. You’ve seen how skinny he is. If Flash wanted to do some damage it wouldn’t be that hard!”

Tommy nods. Seeing Ned and Liz walk into class, he nudges Harley with his foot. Hoping he’ll get the hint to shut it.

Harley gave him a confused look before seeing Peter’s friends walk in.

“Hey Harley!” Ned stops in front of his desk.

“What’s up Leeds?”

“Was Peter with you this morning?”

“No. Didn’t he have some nerd thing with you at 8?”

Ned nods “Yeah but he didn’t show.”

Harley felt his heart drop into his throat. Peter never missed early periods. The whole point of them was so that a day or two a week he could spend the afternoon at SI. “Did you hear from him?”

Tommy glanced at Harley while trying to act indifferent. Last thing they needed was Ned snooping around if Harley did have a thing for the other teen.

Ned shook his head. “He texted me around half 7 saying he’d be there but he didn’t show.”

Harley looked confused. “Well I’m sure everything’s fine. Maybe something came up with SI.”

“I don’t think so. He’s only supposed to be an active intern outside of school hours.”

Harley shrugs “You’re just a worry wart Leeds.”

Liz nodded “See me and MJ told you everything was probably fine. Go sit down mother hen.” She pushed him in the direction of where they usually sat.

“Do us all a favor though and text your uncle. I really don’t feel like listening to Ned worry all damn day.” She whispered as she passed both boys.

After they were out of ear shot Tommy leaned forward. “Well we heard from him like 20 minutes ago so everything should be fine right?”

“Clearly Flash didn’t have anything to do with whatever’s going on.”

“You should get ahold of Stark. Leeds will probably try calling his aunt if we don’t find out what’s up.”

Harley shuddered at the thought. His uncle was scary but Peter’s aunt? She was a damn nightmare when it came to her nephew. “Shit your right. I got no interest in dealing with the wrath that is May Parker.”

Harley quickly takes his phone out and sends his uncle another text.

 H: Hey is Peter with you?

He frowns when immediately his phone rings showing Tony’s contact. “Shit.” He muttered under his breath. “He’s fucking calling me.”

Tommy looked at him in alarm “Who Peter?”

“No. Stark!” He whispered harshly as he got up quickly heading outside.

“Hello?” Harley answered once he was outside of the room.

“Why are you asking about Peter?”

“Because-”

 Tony cut him off “Why aren’t you in your English class?”

“Well I was in fucking English before Peter’s friends started asking me where the fuck he was!”

“Language nephew. Why are they asking you where he is?”

“Apparently I’ve become his fucking keeper or something. All I know is he didn’t show for that thing for early period and Ned is being a mother hen.”

“Clearly I need to wash your mouth out with soap. Peter didn’t show to Decathlon practice? Hmm.”

Harley could hear some rustling in the background which concerned him mildly. If he uncle didn’t know he was there how the hell was anyone else going to? “Uncle?”

“One second.”

The rustling continued for a beat before Tony spoke.

“Friday, Can you pinpoint Peter’s location?” Tony spoke before the line went silent for roughly 30 seconds.

“Thanks babygirl. Okay so everything is perfectly fine. I think he plans to reach out to his friends. He’ll be there soon.”

“Well what even happened?” Harley questioned. Then the second warning bell rang.

“Get to class.”

“But-” Harley was interrupted by a dial tone. He sighed as he pocketed his phone. Peter was going to be the death of him, he was sure of it.

[ryuzaki]

Netflix’s Death Note: Cont’ Chat Logs

After a brief intermission I end up just “liveblogging” my reactions to aiko (matt-chan). I tried to cut out any filler and make this as cohesive as possible while also not spoiling much. Under cut because this is also long.

[8/25/2017 5:25:24 AM] ryuzaki: i was originally gonna watch this then watch it again and write notes but idk if i can watch this more than once [8/25/2017 5:25:34 AM] matt-chan: Dud3 i prob can [8/25/2017 5:25:51 AM] matt-chan: Its so bad but i keep watching - [8/25/2017 5:38:23 AM] ryuzaki: if watari is the chubby japanese man can i just say [8/25/2017 5:38:29 AM] ryuzaki: him and L saved me [8/25/2017 5:40:18 AM] ryuzaki: oh shit nevermind watari lookin weird but at least they got the inventor part of him right - [8/25/2017 5:45:08 AM] ryuzaki: they made L messy? i dont understand [8/25/2017 5:45:17 AM] ryuzaki: I like him except for that fact - [8/25/2017 5:46:24 AM] ryuzaki: [goes back to light n mia] i forget why did i hate them [they immediately speak] oh Thats why - [8/25/2017 5:49:02 AM] ryuzaki: also ive been laughing at how accurate the watari giving soichiro(?) an ice cream cone is [8/25/2017 5:49:07 AM] ryuzaki: thats literally the best part of this [8/25/2017 5:49:14 AM] matt-chan: WATARI IS THE BEST [8/25/2017 5:49:47 AM] ryuzaki: him and L save this. they arent perfect but if they were the star of the show id watch it and be able to stomach it [8/25/2017 5:51:51 AM] matt-chan: Yes - [8/25/2017 5:54:23 AM] ryuzaki: Light and L dont have any interaction before this newscast.. Light doesnt even know who he is (soichiro never even mentioned him and it was alluded to that L isn't very well known to even law enforcement) why was light so angry? why would he care about who this was? [8/25/2017 5:57:00 AM] ryuzaki: oh okay they ask about him after...... but i still dont get why they chose this route..? did mia know who he was? it wouldve been better shot if he was watching the news to write more people down and all the channels got interrupted by the conference. [8/25/2017 5:59:56 AM] ryuzaki: the importance of the scene in the manga was that L realized he had a pattern of when he killed people and made sure his broadcast was on during the time light would be watching the news, then to prove his name/face theory he put lind L taylor up on the screen with his full face and name revealed and made him kill him, only for L to start talking and direct his message towards light then (with only the L logo and a voice changer broadcasting), taking an educated gamble on if light could kill whoever he wanted without those two things. [8/25/2017 6:00:03 AM] ryuzaki: im hung up on this scene........................... but anyway - [8/25/2017 6:00:26 AM] matt-chan: Im just mad about L not having a voice changer [8/25/2017 6:00:41 AM] ryuzaki: YEAH that was so odd.... - [8/25/2017 6:01:18 AM] ryuzaki: light isnt even light

[8/25/2017 6:02:57 AM] ryuzaki: like him and mia arent even relatively close to their original characters so it feels like im watching two people named similarly but otheriwse have no connection. part of me hates them but the other part of me is like "lol well why are you even mad, they basically just made a new spinoff character" [8/25/2017 6:04:15 AM] matt-chan: I have a feeling this will end differently [8/25/2017 6:04:21 AM] matt-chan: They cut a lot of the story already [8/25/2017 6:04:29 AM] matt-chan: Its just a summary /spin off [8/25/2017 6:05:56 AM] ryuzaki: they havent really went into the detail of lights stradegies.. like theyre talking about light going quiet because raye penber(?) is following them and say not to fuck around with the dn but that would be obvious.......... thats one of the main things theyd be looking for [8/25/2017 6:06:24 AM] ryuzaki: nowhere in this story have they shown their light as smart besides doing basic algebra in the first two minutes [8/25/2017 6:06:37 AM] ryuzaki: also true i was thinking honestly L may win [8/25/2017 6:06:46 AM] ryuzaki: Like be alive and win - [8/25/2017 6:07:08 AM] matt-chan: No [8/25/2017 6:07:20 AM] matt-chan: This movie is finally finished for me I am Livid (note: not done with the movie. at a particular scene with Watari) - [8/25/2017 6:07:20 AM] ryuzaki: i dont think the wammy boys are in this tbh. with the whole not being able to see ryuk they already took away a large chunk of the ending [8/25/2017 6:08:33 AM] ryuzaki: wheres rem. wheres my saving grace girl - [8/25/2017 6:09:30 AM] ryuzaki: mia: i was the right one, not you light, the smart one: oh fuck lol [8/25/2017 6:10:24 AM] matt-chan: HAHAHAHAHAHA [8/25/2017 6:10:28 AM] matt-chan: “theres so many fucking rules” [8/25/2017 6:10:44 AM] ryuzaki: they really show that these are kids. like....... "i was thinking we could make some popcorn and write some names down" like........... do you want me to take this seriously.......... theyre like 12. they arent trying to change the world theyre just some kids who thinks killing people is fun. - [8/25/2017 6:11:58 AM] ryuzaki: also all i can imagine is lights dad walking in the door at some point and wondering why the house occasionally is littered with apple cores - [8/25/2017 6:13:25 AM] ryuzaki: ohh so she took the death note im guessing [8/25/2017 6:13:47 AM] ryuzaki: my issue is how did she get the names????? [8/25/2017 6:14:37 AM] ryuzaki: im waiting for this movie to end without ever knowing how L dies because they just kill him without revealing his name/how they found it [8/25/2017 6:15:32 AM] ryuzaki: he blames ryuk.. why would ryuk do this.. [8/25/2017 6:19:20 AM] ryuzaki: i... dont get this movie at all... there is so much to talk about... so many issues... why would L be out in public during this time, why is ryuk the bad guy, why is light so emotional, why is light so STUPID (yet considered smart in the story?) - [8/25/2017 6:20:04 AM] matt-chan: I am upset [8/25/2017 6:20:05 AM] ryuzaki: why would soichiro go out in public and do this... is this how they find out who kira is? because he wont kill his dad? the real light would kill his dad [8/25/2017 6:20:08 AM] matt-chan: I am. More livit [8/25/2017 6:20:17 AM] ryuzaki: im so fuckin worried by that [8/25/2017 6:20:40 AM] ryuzaki: i feel like youre hard to get angry with this kinda thing - [8/25/2017 6:21:00 AM] matt-chan: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [8/25/2017 6:21:07 AM] matt-chan: IM IN TEARS BUT [8/25/2017 6:21:09 AM] matt-chan: IM SAD [8/25/2017 6:21:11 AM] matt-chan: AND LAUGJING - [8/25/2017 6:27:40 AM] ryuzaki: why did L show his face and make an incredibly public scene while talking about kira..... its not as bad as the rest of the things in this movie but its still questionable. if they werent making a scene about kira id let it pass - [8/25/2017 6:29:12 AM] ryuzaki: WATARI ISNT HIS REAL NAME YOU FUCKING IDIOT - [8/25/2017 6:30:29 AM] matt-chan: I finished it (note: now she means the movie) [8/25/2017 6:31:07 AM] ryuzaki: he didnt even have him call a burner phone. if L finds the notebook wouldnt this be even more damning evidence that light is kira (that is, if he doesnt burn the page) [8/25/2017 6:31:12 AM] ryuzaki: dont spoil please - [8/25/2017 6:34:29 AM] ryuzaki: nnnnnn [8/25/2017 6:42:03 AM] ryuzaki: ohhhhhhhh the normal people scare me in his locker with the ahs font im So Embarrassed. - [8/25/2017 6:43:01 AM] ryuzaki: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo (note: my reaction to the same scene with Watari) - [8/25/2017 6:45:51 AM] ryuzaki: oh how interesting they DO say how she does it with the fbi task force [8/25/2017 6:46:31 AM] ryuzaki: HOLY SHIT..... MIA IS EVIL.............................. [8/25/2017 6:46:45 AM] ryuzaki: "THERES SO MANY FUCKING RULES" [8/25/2017 6:48:57 AM] ryuzaki: omg i hope he ends up dyingggggggg i hope she does too - [8/25/2017 6:49:59 AM] ryuzaki: L Cant Fuckin Drive - [8/25/2017 6:50:48 AM] ryuzaki: apparently this is the version of death note where everyone has Too Many emotions [8/25/2017 6:52:43 AM] ryuzaki: also this is so fucking stupid the chase is making me laugh why did they do this - [8/25/2017 6:54:00 AM] ryuzaki: OHHH DUDE I HATE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS [8/25/2017 6:54:11 AM] ryuzaki: WHAT A CHEAP FUCKING TACTIC (note: a scene with light and L) - [8/25/2017 6:57:57 AM] matt-chan: Bahahaha [8/25/2017 6:58:03 AM] matt-chan: The song they played on the ferris wheel (few minutes later) [8/25/2017 7:03:34 AM] ryuzaki: AHAHA THE SONG [8/25/2017 7:05:35 AM] ryuzaki: OH THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID - [8/25/2017 7:02:14 AM] ryuzaki: is the moral of this story that you should never trust high school romance..... cause thats what im getting - [8/25/2017 7:09:02 AM] ryuzaki: i like how he was i guess in a coma and his dad comes in and doesnt fucking care he woke up [8/25/2017 7:09:14 AM] ryuzaki: like hes just awake n his dads like [shrug] - [8/25/2017 7:15:41 AM] ryuzaki: okay so it just ended and honestly the only issue with the ending was not knowing if L wrote Lights name down [8/25/2017 7:16:06 AM] ryuzaki: just because its like. Well i dont fucking know what he'd do, your L and the original L end up very different at the half way mark [8/25/2017 7:16:34 AM] ryuzaki: but if they kept things completely new like they did near the end i think it wouldve been interesting [8/25/2017 7:17:32 AM] ryuzaki: the main issue is that i couldnt enjoy it because it was clearly labled as a reboot to the original story, and not another one that happens in the same universe as the death note one (where the death note exists that is) [8/25/2017 7:18:39 AM] ryuzaki: if they had made a whole new story and just had the death note in it and new people, maybe at the most keep ryuk in if you really want a reoccurring character, it would be not great but a fun watch

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: this is why i don't wear shoes Ali: i have lost one??? Ali: rescue it if you see it Carly: what do they look like Ali: just a kinda tan sandal thing Ali: just a penneys special so not the end of the world, should chuck the other one so someone can have the pair Carly: come & bring me food & then youll be here to reunite them Carly: but yea k will lean out my door & see if its there Ali: love the enthusiasm, babe 😜 Ali: can feel your come down from here Carly: dont barely remember the come up Carly: wtf happened last night Ali: not in a much better position myself but uhm Ali: mayhem, that's for sure Ali: i think you might've gone home with the wrong cousin Carly: shit Carly: my bad Carly: better read my txts Carly: who did you go w ? Ali: didn't go that far with anyone Ali: 💍 remember and such a 😇 Ali: ronan was in a mard though and i weren't up for listening to that so 🤷 Carly: aw Carly: sorry baby i'll calm him down Ali: it's chill 😂 bless him Ali: no need on my account tho i'm sure he'd be down, despite protests otherwise Carly: my inbox is Carly: cba w this rn Ali: oh baby, want a bacon sarnie and a secretary? Carly: yea Carly: gonna throw my phone w your shoe Ali: i woke up to a mystery dickpic on my phone Ali: is it rude to ask which one it belongs to because lads, sorry, not that memorable that i'm picking it out of a line-up Ali: you'll know, been more recent, i'll come over with food and lucozade for real and ruin your day with that lovely image and the actually rather creative sexts that went with it Ali: 10/10 for effort, sir Carly: cant put it on the cv or school report but my memory for 'em is good Carly: if ive seen it i'll id it Carly: ill laff if its the large ginge cousin whose name i never got Carly: sounded like a cough Ali: that's a talent and if the man can't see that, fuck him Ali: and his job in tescos, like Ali: i mean, shouldn't have a preference but i hope not 😂 Ali: soz honey but Carly: thanks baby Carly: I hope its that token english Carly: he was fit Ali: can reply if you like Ali: worse ways to waste a sunday morning than messing with boys Ali: sounding like a priest Ali: oops Carly: ha Carly: i found some fucking funny vids of us so maybe the phone shouldnt go out window before youve had a look Ali: yes, i need to see that Carly: [sends her fave of the vids] Ali: aww Ali: we're fun drunks Ali: love that for us Carly: yea Carly: im a messy bitch tho Carly: no wonder i went w the hero cousin Ali: meh, things happen at parties, everyone knows that Ali: not like you're proper attached is it Ali: though he's gonna be annoying now probs but day in the life when you're irresistible, yeah? Carly: youd know babe Carly: he wont be on site long never is Carly: so idc Carly: saved me for a nite boy youre welcome Ali: duh Ali: hottest couple in town Ali: one for the wank bank anyway Carly: yea & he is fit Carly: give him that Carly: esp when i dont understand what hes saying Ali: the best kind Ali: a boy you don't have to speak to 😜 Ali: if that's all it takes like, whip out the Gaeilge Carly: youve got the giggles but yea Carly: true Carly: but on site id just have all the oldies chatting at me if i could Carly: not trying to make them go weak Ali: they ain't daddies? boo 😥 Carly: some got many kids but thats it Carly: say something to me then Ali: [sends voice memo, probably has dirty words she'd recognise from site life and lots of loling] Carly: k Carly: so hot Carly: if your gf is mad at me for stealing you last nite you can smooth things over w her like that Ali: might have to Ali: though it ain't you she's 😤 with Ali: poor ronan, shoulda done more than snog him if she comes for him, not even worth it for that Carly: ill protect him when he lets me back near Carly: cant stay mad at this Carly: sure your girls the same Ali: She's mad 24/7 babe, just gotta hold on, like 😂 Ali: we want different things now but that's not a convo for this morning like jesus Carly: whos got the energy Carly: cba w angry Carly: yea you want a sarnie Ali: exactly, and i wanted to have fun last night but may as well have said i want his dick in or around my mouth k bye babe Carly: ha Carly: that would be fun tho Ali: tell that to past you, dashing his threesome dreams like 🤷💔 Carly: still time Ali: not me you need to promise baby Carly: yea but id rather talk to you Ali: 💚 Ali: you cute Carly: all you Carly: how you look so good coming from band? wtf Ali: psh please Ali: it was all about you 🙇 Carly: if that was true why is every memory i got from last nite just you Carly: facts Ali: had to get you away from that mirror somehow, like 😉 Ali: it was fun Carly: ha Carly: cuz your talents got me like Carly: yea it was Ali: helps when the canvas already beautiful babe Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: 🍓 Carly: gonna make me cry Ali: don't cry lil one Ali: the bacon is coming Ali: got roped into doing a shady kid swap, where is my ma, take this demon child Carly: you can bring him if you want Carly: ill put clothes on before Ali: cockblocked again 😉 Ali: nah, he needs to go get shoes Ali: ironically and unlucky, twat Carly: what size is he Carly: i can ask around when i look for yours Carly: lads flog everything and anything here on sundays Ali: his feet are big man Ali: he's only little but he's lanky af, unlike me Ali: that's fun tho Ali: imma go shopping Carly: aw Carly: yea wish i was taller Carly: ffs ma and da Ali: literally Ali: least neither of my sisters are model tall or i'd be more raging Ali: we make it work, babe Carly: & i dont have any sisters Carly: well done on that one tho ma & da Ali: speak for yourself Ali: i'm gutted Carly: oww Carly: trying to replace me like the vows were no thing Ali: you know you're my one and only Ali: but a woman got needs Carly: thats what your gf is for Carly: no Ali: yeah but i'm allowed wishful thinking too Ali: damn Carly: ive given you the mental image of me naked Carly: what more you need Ali: are you jealous of your hypothetical sister? Carly: yea if you like her more Ali: aw baby, 'course not Ali: she's a ride, yeah, but bit of a bitch too, like Carly: ha Carly: takes after our ma like Ali: sadly, straighter than you Ali: 👎 Carly: like theres a ranking Carly: just straight or not yea Ali: I mean, it is a scale but I'm not gonna try and bond with your Ma giving her the test for it, like Ali: could we tie her down for a sec, obvs Carly: hit her when shes washing up Carly: takes long Ali: okay, i'll dry 😉 Ali: what an offer Carly: trying to make me vom now Carly: take crying or blushing over Ali: soz babe Carly: her & my da dont fuck but still dont reckon youre her type Ali: don't know what's worse, that, or knowing they do Carly: im good w them not Carly: sound carries Carly: no secrets in the caravan Ali: sure there's a toilet block they could go to Ali: keeping it sexy Carly: sure my da's there doing his cry wank Carly: while my ma checks the talent Carly: we got that to look forward to in our marriage in a few years Ali: who's scouting who's cranking Ali: because frankly, i refuse either Carly: im the biggest slag so probs me Carly: sorry Ali: and I'm not Ali: igloo sisters how many times now?! 😂 Carly: ha Carly: but youre loyal Carly: me and my ma dont kno the meaning like Ali: am i Ali: you miss the part when i got on ronan Carly: o yea Carly: i forgot Ali: idk what i'm gonna do about that Ali: instant gameover but its literally so irrelevant Carly: hes a ride Carly: you should be excused for it Ali: she's a 6 on that scale, yeah, massive gay Ali: so she ain't seeing that, never mind the other shit Carly: shit yea Carly: dont tell her Ali: does that make me the worst? Ali: i should hm Carly: hes not gonna speak to her Carly: and if he brags you can call it that Ali: Yeah Ali: I don't know Carly: its that or tell her Carly: & say youre sorry Carly: we were all wasted Carly: not like you have feelings for him Ali: You're right, obviously Ali: like that's the truth but yeah Ali: might leave it unless I need to go there Ali: soz God, swing by confession later Carly: tell her youre a bi cliche Carly: she'd love it Carly: use the scale Ali: she would tho Ali: validate everything she's ever sneaky or not so thought about me Ali: soz, i need a constant stream of p n v or i die Carly: a girl has needs Carly: what am i a 1? Ali: its like dis Ali: 1- all straight 2- mostly straight but lil gay 3- equal/bi 4- mostly gay but still lil into opposite 5- total gay Ali: but not gonna resist the urge to tell you you a 10 Carly: 🥇 Carly: i like that you're 3 tho. 3's a lucky number Ali: and a magic one 🔮 Carly: yea cuz youre magical Ali: believe it baby Carly: i do Ali: right, finally leaving, be like 10 Ali: doing the opposite to a walk of shame rn, strutting back in like what's good Carly: you gotta Carly: own it baby Carly: havent found your shoe tho sorry Carly: maybe ronan took it cuz he loves you so bad Ali: 😂 oh my god Ali: like a horny puppy Carly: yea Carly: building a shrine to you rn probs Ali: or he wanna play cinderella Ali: such a ridiculous fairytale, as far as they go Carly: how wasted was the prince that he cant remember what she looks like Carly: k been there but not trying to wife anyone Ali: right?! also, sure plenty of bitches a size 5, like??? Ali: was it a magic shoe Ali: no explanation, frankly Carly: yea like me and you have the same size Carly: ill take your prince for a ride bitch Ali: 😂 Ali: he cool with that Ali: that's the tea Ali: boy gives no fucks, long as it ain't a man in drag Carly: he hasnt met your brother tho Carly: boy looks good Ali: eww Ali: stop that thought right there Carly: dont get jealous Carly: not gonna go there Ali: not jealous, but repulsed 😷 Carly: k babe Carly: if you say so Ali: trust, you wanna see jealous you'll see it soon enough if you go there Ali: 😂 bea don't fuck about Carly: have to go for one of your other hot brothers Ali: trying be my sister in law and wife Ali: kickin it country Carly: you kno Carly: been on site too long Ali: forreal, not gotta hang with the traveller lads that hard baby Carly: after last nite not gonna be hanging w them for a while Ali: let 'em fight it out amongst themselves Ali: defs for the best Carly: yea Carly: hide w me babe Carly: gonna be so bored Ali: gonna Ali: i'll peep their wares another day Ali: not a euphemism Carly: sounds dirty tho Ali: yeah, regretted it as i said it but hey Ali: love me a sale and a gypsy boy Carly: no regrets boo Carly: they love you too Carly: esp whoever send the dick pic Ali: the real mystery Ali: soz everyone else with your drama but we gotta know Carly: i do need to be knowing Carly: thats my wife lads Ali: awh you gonna defend my honour n delicate sensibilities Carly: yea Carly: youre an angel Ali: you're so cute Carly: its you Carly: my parents came back Carly: gonna have to run Ali: oh no i am en route Ali: where you going boo Carly: i'll catch you and we can find somewhere theyre not Carly: ha church Carly: can you eat there cuz im not looking to die for jesus Ali: yeah for sure, not in the pews like its the cinema, like Ali: can go park if you wanna Ali: or up the mountain if you can hack it, like Carly: youre so smart Carly: like your mouth Carly: but yea Carly: date time Ali: awh yeah Ali: this picnic ain't goals i'm so sorry babe Ali: least the weather's looking up Carly: idc Carly: get to be w my boo Ali: 😍 Carly: i look crazy Carly: havent got dressed faster w out getting fucked before since idc Carly: idk Ali: i like crazy Ali: and beside me you'll probs look totally normal 😉 Carly: you look hot every day baby Carly: facts Ali: all these compliments got me feeling 🔥 obvs Carly: thats how i want it Ali: gonna have you flying high too Ali: top of the world, baby Carly: aw Carly: whats in the food like Ali: 😂 Ali: just faith n trust n pixiedust, of course Carly: you can snort pixiedust yea? Carly: k Ali: you gon' be mad when i've got nothing but sandwiches and half a donut Carly: nah Carly: cant be mad at you Carly: too cute Ali: and donuts are life Carly: true

[leaughrilke]

TELL ME! I always love your thoughts!

BLESS U

so the all the kids love their moms a Whole Heck of a Lot right and obviously kara and lena love their kiddos more than words can describe and its not that there’s any favoritism??  at all, like none, its just that stella is sort of naturally closer to lena??  in the same way that finn and maia are sort of naturally closer to kara, like there’s a certain sort of distance created when you’re a kid and you physically can’t Be a certain way around one of your parents

so there’s not distance per se but just....things that kara can do with finn and maia that she cant do with stella and things that lena can do with stella that she cant do with finn and maia 

and its not a Thing but then it sort of becomes a Thing ??  not so much for finn and maia bc lena and kara have gotten creative in making sure that lena’s always been able to be as involved in their lives as kara 

but heres the deal: maia and finn have kara’s powers and kara trains them.  that’s cool, thats fine, stella gets why she does; kara takes them to the deo with her a lot and they punch cars together (especially maia, she’s got a Lot of Rage to work through) and they go flying and kara helps them practice control over their powers and stella can’t help but feel a little left out??  bc for the most part, because her siblings are in control of their powers, they have the option to do everything she can with lena but stella doesnt have the same option with kara

and she hides it rlly well!  she does!  bc its not kara’s fault and its not finn and maia’s fault, its just how they are, and stella decides it has to be her fault which in turn feeds into the dark thoughts she already has bc, you know, empath that acts as an emotional sponge for the world

kara and lena both notice little stella withdrawing, kara notices its more around her than lena and is like..heartbroken.  just fucking devastated bc holy shit what did she do how did this happen she fucked up she fucked up and lena tries to comfort her but she’s p worried too like fuck whats going on 

and it doesnt help that stella can literally feel everything that they feel???  so she just shoves her feelings down even more and bounces back and then it boils over and this one in her class says her brother said that her brother is a word that makes stella shake with anger and she just hauls off and punches the girl

lena’s usually the parent the school calls first but she’s in opal city for a conference so lena calls kara, then the school calls kara and she’s in the middle of an interview and she let lena go to voicemail bc if its urgent she’ll call back but then she’s like “crap, it’s my daughter’s school” and her subject (idk wonder woman or smth) is like “omg no don’t worry, family first” and is super understanding when kara bolts

and like.......she would have expected this from maia, maybe (maia, who still takes the supplement that suppresses her powers bc she doesnt trust herself not to, maia, who gets so numb she just sometimes hits stuff just to feel something) but not stella??  not tiny little stella that used to sob when she accidentally pulled lena’s hair as a toddler or completely forgot kara had superstrength and would apply bandaid after bandaid when she bumped her elbow on the table

so she gets to the school and stella’s just Not Talking, in full shut down like she gets when she gets fried from the world (its sort of sensory overload??  thats the best way to describe it) and she shies away when kara reaches for her, tries to tip her face up to get a better look at the black eye she’s got forming

pls note that stella’s maybe eleven and still Small and she looks even tinier to kara now, looks more like the baby she pulled out of an abandoned car on the pier, and kara’s heart twists and twists at the way stella wont look at her

so she lays her phone on the chair next to stella and marches into the principals office and, while she agrees that stella shouldnt have resorted to violence, she also fully trusts and believes that her daughter wouldnt do anything without reason and she just verbally eviscerates the other mom, who tries to make it out like her daughter hasnt been harassing stella for years or anything (bc kara fucking commits every name to memory, every person that has ever hurt her kids, remembers their names what they said or did and she seethes bc she cant ??  fix all their problems for them???)

and when she marches back out, stella’s playing candy crush and has managed to escape with only suspension for the rest of the day and she still wont look at kara but she grabs onto kara’s hand with surprising force and kara’s like Okay, everything is going to be Okay

eventually stella says it, not to kara, but to alex bc she cant face her mom, either of her moms, with this, not when she’ll feel everything kara feels and she cant handle how it’ll hurt her to know that stella feels so angry and so useless, feels like she cant keep up with kara so she doesnt feel like she should even try, like she doesnt deserve to be kara zor-el’s daughter 

so alex asks if she cant tell this to kara and stella sort of sobs out a please and alex is a lot better at compartmentalizing, which is a skill stella appreciates bc it means all she can feel is alex’s love for her, kindness, warmth, not the way alex’s heart is breaking for her youngest niece

so alex tells kara and kara is fucking devastated like holy shit how did she not see this and alex and lena both are like hey its okay, she buries her feelings, thats part of her powers and lena’s like i didnt see it either but none of it helps bc kara’s like i failed her, i failed my kid

stella usually carpools w/ her best friend home or to lena’s office after school but kara all but demands an afternoon off, storming into snapper’s office and throwing him for like.....several loops with the way she basically tells him she’s taking this thursday and every thursday hereafter off.  and she calls ari’s mom to tell her that she’s picking up stella and she’s the first car at pick up and she picked up stella’s favorite drink from starbucks on her way over and her heart sort of twists a little at the obvious surprise on stella’s face to see her but she works extra hard to box that up and it must be working because stella’s stormy expression has already cleared a bit by the time she makes it to the car

when they pull up to the deo, stella figures that it must be time for her like biannual brain scans, to see how she’s matching up with other telepathic aliens bc they still dont know that much abt her species, but then kara’s guiding her down a different hallway, still just chatting with her abt her day and stuff like that

they walk into one of the Many training rooms and stella’s like ?????  and kara tosses her a gym bag from a locker that stella notices has her name on it and is like i know it’s really hard to not be able to do what your brother and sister can and i am so sorry that i never saw how much you’re struggling.  and i know its not fair that you dont get to punch cars with us, but you can punch this punching bag and talk to me and stella’s sort of overwhelmed??  but in a good way for once

so thats how they start spending thursday afternoons.  kara has alex teach stella proper form after that first day and then they figure out a routine—kara greets stella with a snack afterschool and they head to the deo and dont talk about the heavy stuff until after stella’s changed, after kara’s wrapped stella’s hands, until stella’s gotten a few good punches in, kara steadying the bag.  then it all starts coming out, all the terrible thoughts stella has, all the horrible things she feels that arent even her feelings to begin with, all these awful orphaned emotions that she takes on without meaning to

the system works rlly well bc stellas too wrapped up in her own head, in her words and in making sure she’s in the proper stance, throwing her weight the right way to notice anything kara’s thinking or feeling which is good bc she’s a kid and she shouldnt be worried about her mom’s stuff, she should just feel safe enough to let kara carry some of the burden

THIS GOT RLLY LONG AND I HAVE MORE SO ITS UNDER THE CUT SRY

IM GOING TO SCREAM ABT THE DYNAMIC BTWN THE KIDDOS FOR A MINUTE OKAY

finn is the Ultimate big brother but he is So Soft oh my god.  like??  he Will Not hurt anyone, he refuses to but the absolute second it looks like someone’s fucking with his sisters he makes it seem like he is absolutely willing to hurt someone.  he’s only hit someone once, and that’s this one guy that was pulling shit with stella he shouldnt have been (stella was visiting finn at college and definitely wasnt supposed to be at the omega phi party but well u kno how dumb teenagers can be) and finn punched him once, with nowhere near his full strength and the asshole cried and finn only felt a little bad

but !  for the most part he’s not the beat ppl up for my sisters kind of brother, he’s the do you wanna talk about it brother, the you’re on your period so i ran over to the corner store and got those stick on heat packs you like and also three pints of ben and jerrys brother, the your date bailed and youre crying in your room and think i cant hear it so i cancelled my plans and now we’re going to have a movie night on the couch, mama ordered chinese food brother

he’s the one that follows maia and cleans up the mess she’s made but only after he’s wrapped her up in the tightest hug he thinks she’ll tolerate and promised not to tell moms anything.  he’s the one that helps her keep a lid on it most days, appearing from a classroom and pulling her into it when it looks like she’s about to rip a locker door off its hinges.  the one that intervenes with teachers on her behalf after she blows up in class, smoothes things over so their moms dont have to get involved or ever know about it

he’s the one that acts as a buffer for stella a lot of the time, especially when they’re very little.  he keeps by her side when she’s very small, still unsteady on her feet and that’s their holding pattern, her stumbling and him right beside her and offering her his hand.  he’s the one that acts as a go between for her when the world overwhelms her and, ranking just below their moms, is one of her favorite people and one of her Certified Safe Places.  the list is a small one (basically consisting of lena, kara, finn, alex, maggie, eliza, and j’onn), it’s v prestigious in his opinion

sweet child of mine, i could wax poetic abt how soft and gentle finn is with his sisters and his mothers and the world in general

MAIA IS SUCH A FIRE STARTER OH MY GOD i love her i love her so much but she is destructive as hell.  like the best way to describe it is this—u know how soft finn is?  he’s kara danvers.  maia?  kara zor-el when angered.  she screams and she rages and she’s a hurricane and she breaks things and burns things but she is so fucking careful with the people she loves and even though she loves flying, she loves not worrying about hurting them more so she keeps her powers suppressed for like.....basically from birth to when she’s about twenty or so and she’s a mess but she’s a mess you call when you’re in a fight in a denny’s parking lot and you know she’ll show up even though it’s 2am and you started the fight

and she loves her family so so much??  so much it hurts???  and she’s not good with feelings like finn and can’t read ppl like stella so she doesn’t know what to do with the way she feels most of the time so she beats ppl up for her siblings without them even having to ask 

she finds finn locked in the girls bathroom once and doesnt even say a fucking word, she just storms into the boys locker room and starts threatening ppl until they point her to the ringleader and he well he never messes with finn ever again and quite honestly flinches whenever maia danvers walks into a room

stella gets called a freak?  technically maia doesn’t beat the kid up that said it, bc he’s like twelve, but she still intimidates the hell out of him.  in college, stella comes out and like most ppl r cool w/ it but this one dude in her freshmen seminar calls her a dyke and stella doesnt even necessarily tell maia, but she’s in the city and has brunch with her the next day and can fucking see it in her face and so she does beat him up

most ppl at school dont realize their mom is Lena Luthor bc she’s mostly known as mrs danvers or maia/finn/stella’s mom/other mom and she rlly looks v different when she’s at the school or at a recital or performance or game, usually in casual clothes with her hair down and sunglasses on, so no one ever rlly puts it together but once maia heard these kids saying that any luthor still standing is a threat, you know? and she sort of destroys them

i mean, to be clear, they r alive

they also dont ever say the name luthor within their high school ever again

when she gets older, she sort of mellows out thanks to age and maturity and also a fuck ton of therapy but she still verbally destroys ppl and is that person that’s always like they’re not treating you right?  leave their ass

and stella oh little stella

she’s like very much the baby of the family, like there’s abt five years btwn her and finn and three btwn her and maia and she idolizes her siblings even if she’ll never voice it

she is also a giant brat sometimes like she mercilessly blackmails them for rides and party invites and whatever else she wants (obviously not mercilessly, never about the big stuff, never about anything real) and they know she’d never follow through on her threats but they give her whatever it is she wants anyway bc that’s sort of part of the game they play, you know?

she also takes like.....a lot of care for them.  like as much as they protect her, she protects them.  she’s usually the first line of defense when things get shitty, bc she feels it??  and is sort of forced into noticing first.  when finn starts getting nightmares, it’s stella that clambers into his bed and starts telling him stories.  she’s the first to get a Bad Vibe from maia’s bf and she fucking acts on it, tells their moms.  she knows when her siblings are happy and she cheers them on so fucking loudly and she knows when theyre hurting and she’s the first to bring them kleenex and snacks

[rachael-the-ultralord]

An Explanation For YOU. You know who you are, at least if you read the first couple of sentences you will. If you’re not him, spare your time for something that was meant for you, which is not this.

I cant keep making you out as the bad guy when im the one who gave you hope an then swept you from your fet once you found sturdy ground. 

But then again they say with abusive relationships you tend to blame yourself. 

At least that’s what people tell me to make me feel better.

I cant help but think that in my reflections, i blame myself for things i claim I now would do differently, but in the moment i cant imagine anyway else i’d do. It’s unlike me to hurt others, even if they may deserve the ego break, and in the end me wanting to protect you, made me hate you and is what ultimately hurt you worse than anything i could imagine. It’s what made your eyes go cold when they gaze upon me, it’s my fault. Why I never told you this is because that was only my first mistake, my first time hurting you was hating you and blaming you an ignoring you, because I had retracted so far into hypocrisy, and I let everything build into anger. That’s why I left the way I did, why I lashed out, why I blamed you. I didn't tell you because I have no explanation for the second time I hurt you, I swept your feet from under you after I gained your trust again so quickly. You said you loved me after being apart for that month,my month of cooling off and apologizing, i came back expected out of my lonesomeness that you would accept me back with open arms and you did, and I got scared, and ran off again. And I have no reason to say why. I tried to blame you for it all again, I didn't want responsibility for hurting you, so i had to be justified in leaving again. I think I had only come back so soon because I was so lonely, I hadn't been ‘alone’ in the past 7 months of knowing you, we spent every moment free with each other, and that is partially what hurt us in the first place. Going from everything to nothing cause serious withdrawals and after the anger left I missed you, I missed everything about you and I couldn't imagine why I ever left you, i became obsessed with the thought of you, and being around you. So I messaged you and said I was sorry, and you said you were fixing yourself and you didn’t want ‘us’ to get in the way of that, and I cried, because I wanted you to be about me the way you were, because I didn't understand that my need of validation and my hypocritical tendencies were what hurt us so bad in the first place. My fear of having nothing to do, my not wanting to be alone anymore because I locked myself from the world, and you were finding ways to let me out piece by piece, and I cant deny that. That is all what made me come back to you, and the rush of you, and then you saying you didn't want me, but saying you loved me, hurt me. And then you admitted to an old habit of yours, keeping track of me on social medias after not doing so for a month, it frightened me because I remembered everything you did that made me so angry with us, and made me build up my rage inside in the first place, everything that i felt rushed back an I lashed out and I was angry again and I blamed you again and I left, again. After I told you i had regretted ever doing so in the first place. And I ignored you, once more. and after a while I began talking to that one guy you’ll never like, you said so. I spent so much time with him that I felt so happy, and free. He made me really think about all the wrong you had ever done me, all the times you were ever ‘abusive’ and I was angry, and hateful, and he helped me to really vent everything I had been saving up inside of me, all the things that you had done to me. He helped me so much when I stop to think about it, he made me happy and it was bliss. I could express my opinions freely an openly about you, an he cheered me on. I could be downright bitchy and he cheered me on, we were honest with each other, and it was like nothing else. but reality was smacked down so fast. He ended up having feelings, and our relationship was never really romantic for me, I always just thought of him as my best friend, I had never been honest with anyone before, and I couldn't reciprocate the feelings I had for him, even as I forced myself. he wanted things to be real so fast, and I liked him but it wasn't in the same way he did, I had feelings for him per say, but I think he felt it more.. real? He wanted a real relationship, to be boyfriend and girlfriend, maybe more. He started having dreams about us together, doing cute things, as couples would do. But I still was angry over you, and the last time we had talked, and everything. And that is what I told him, and he hated me for it, he said he wished he never fell for me, and he stopped messaging me first, he pulled back. He said that I was still in love with you, and hearing that scared me because I never wanted to hear that, I just wanted to be angry. As time went by I thought more and more of you, and I accepted that I was still in love with you, meanwhile this guy was being patient and he said he would wait for me, and I didn't know when I would be over you, he said that he was fine as long as I told him as soon as I was. I agreed because I did like this guy, and I liked his company. Now, things ended pretty quickly with him after a few days of not messaging him, because I was busy, and hadn’t opened Skype or discord to check if he had messaged, and I have his phone number and i had him on snap chat and he didn’t message me, so I didn't message him. Days pass, it’s the weekend and I get on my laptop to play League, and I open discord to see I have dozens of messages, mainly him just saying how if i was ignoring him on Skype i would be ignoring him on here, an he didn't know what he did wrong, and he was pissed at me. (I should note that in a burst of distaste i blocked and unblocked him on twitter because he was openly fat shaming anyone who he could find for the kicks of it, it disgusted me so I soft blocked him of twitter, he noticed that and called me out on it, so I got scared and blamed it on a twitter glitch) I opened Skype soon after discord and read all of his messages, all angry that I was ignoring him, because that’s what he took it as. He told me that if I really hated him to block him because the message would come across more clear than just ignoring his messages, I tried to explain everything that had happened to him but he was so angry that he called me a liar, and he wouldn't accept my side of the story and said if that was the case i should have messaged him on snap chat, or texted him. And yes I could have but so could have he, I was busy and didn't think of anything but school work for those days, less that a week actually. maybe 3-5 days i think. Anyways, so I was angry an I told him off, and like with you I forfeited my side of it and I blamed him, I blocked him on most things and said I didn't want to be in his life because I learned things of him (twitter fat shaming) that I didn't like in people I was associated with, so I didn't want to be his friend anymore, and I blocked him on just about everything but discord, and league, saying i wouldn't mind playing with him every now and then. After him I spent time alone, reflecting, I instantly knew that most of my anger was bull shit and I ha over reacted, but it was said and done and I didn't try to fix it like I did with you, and I let that friendship drift away. I spent time alone and thought, I was miserable for a while, but I soon began to uptake in actions I liked, like watching you tube and playing League again, and I met more people and made friends, and soon I left them because it was a commitment I didn't want to make, because it was so much after just trashing a good friendship i had, plus not having you. So I took more time to be alone and I did what I wanted to do, without the thought of others, and I played league when i wanted, and I left when i wanted, I did what i wanted and it was fun. I recently (over this break) got close with a group of friends on league I noticed myself today that i have been doing and thats filling them into my free time, and I cut that off today and spent time with my mom coloring, and going into the coloring with my mom i hated it because I only wanted to play league with them and be accepted by them, but reflecting now I am glad that i didn't get up and go to my room right away, because I made my mom happy in doing so, and thinking now i need to get my priorities into check. anyways, I have been doing me time tonight( this morning i guess now that it’s 7am)an i think I am finally okay with being alone, I think I can live with myself, without having anything to do. in the middle of writing this post actually i had an epiffany that I AM okay with being alone, that im not lonely anymore.  Now this may be just a random post that led nowhere involving you, im sorry I wasted your time in reading this, but i need you to know that I’m okay now, and I went into this writing, really missing you and reflecting on everything, and now here I am, and I feel at peace with everything. It may seem like a random writing though, because I didnt go back to rerea anything i wront, and my brain tends to be all over the place, and bouncy like with the topics im on. Anyways, I left this unedited and sloppy because it’s real, and it’s me. And it’s the truth, and it’s okay. 

I am okay.

And you?

You, are on my mind.

But i dont feel the urgency to have you, you’re just there. Maybe that’s good, maybe it’s bad, but it’s a step up from you being the only thing I can see myself having. I’m okay, and I miss you, but i ont need you. I dont need your validation, I want you in my life, but i think i’m okay meanwhile.